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crookedteethed · 11 months ago

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DEPRIVED barbarism (1)

Pairing: University!Coriolanus Snow x Mysterious!reader

Summary: Taking two incompatible oaths showed weakness, but that didn't add anything to the immorality of Coriolanus Snow.

WARNING: 18+ SlightyDark! Coriolanus, SlightMean!Coriolanus Dacryphilia, Smut (p in v), Mind-fucking kink, reader is referred to as an "abomination", Fem reader, mentions of violence, (Kinda) enemies to lovers trope, Ocs, bullying

Authors note: Originally I wanted this to be one post, but I just decided to split it into two parts so it won't be so long. Going to post the second part sometime this week. Enjoy the read! ily babes <3 💗

Word count: 1.7k

An abomination. That's what they referred to you as. That's what he referred to you as.

Coriolanus Snow was too proud of himself to admit that it hadn't been more than a joke, too self-conscious to let any of his peers get a sliver of who he was outside of university. Only the Grandma'am and Tigris got to see that part of him, the part of him that smiled and made attempts of sincerity (though that façade was shortly fleeting.).

After all, Coriolanus was the son of General Crassus Snow. He was to be the future President of Panem (Grandma'am and Tigris had told him such so many times that he was starting to believe that he might have a chance at presidency someday); Coriolanus didn't have time to be making jokes with his peers.

As much as Coriolanus liked daydreaming about being President someday, he knew dreaming was only for those who lacked control. For now, he was Coriolanus Snow, still the son of Crassus Snow, the tenth annual Hunger Games winner Snow. Coriolanus Snow, subject of Dr. Gaul.

Being Dr. Gaul's study subject introduced the two of you, albeit, He wasn't sure if you two were ever formally introduced in the beginning.

You just popped up one day in Dr. Gaul's laboratory, and after a week or two, Coriolanus deemed you a zit (this was before he deemed you an abomination). Zits shows up out of the blue and is hard to get rid them, and you don't want to pop it because it'll leave a blemish.

Coriolanus Was unsure if you were a student; the way you lingered around Dr. Gaul and the university made you seem like a ghost filled with dreaded longing.

Coriolanus thought, if she were a ghost, she doesn't know she was dead yet.

You weren't a ghost. Fennel Clearwillow, Coriolanus's occasional acquaintance, confirmed it.

Coriolanus was studying in the archives when Dr. Gaul approached him alongside her: you.

"Mr. Snow." Dr. Gaul greets. "Cramming your nose in a book during your substantial off day." She says, hands clasped behind her back and head held high. Dr. Gaul had this look on her face—like she knew something that you don't. At first, Coriolanus mistakes this look of all-knowing with the woman being out of her mind, but he would later conclude that Dr. Gaul is omniscient and a little omnipotent (and a little scary at times).

"Dr, nothing's the matter with a little weekend studying," Coriolanus said, making sure to flash his pearly whites.

You were there. Lingering behind the curve of Dr. Gaul's shoulder. So odd, yet compelling.

"While the rest of your peers are out partying, drinking themselves to a stupor." Dr. Gaul states.

You looked…clueless, Coriolanus thought.

"The rest of my peers are morons. They wouldn't know how to serve the Capital well if there was another rebellion."

It's like your brains had been sold separately or something.

The thought of another war breaking out terrified Coriolanus, but at least this time he knew how to aim and shoot.

This joke had been one of many self-deprecating ones. He earns a small smile from Dr. Gaul, which makes him feel pleased.

“Mr. Snow I want you to meet my…”

Latest creation? He thought.

Dr. Gaul was a psychotic mutation-obsessed woman. Coriolanus was no stranger to this. He’d seen the snakes of various colors, the rabbit mutts, and even those stupid, stupid Mockingjay, all done by the hands of Dr. Volumnia Gaul.

She’d already had a Frankenstein complex, messing with nature, so why not mutate humans next?

“My latest subject, Y/N Y/LN, alongside you, Y/N will also be studying under me.” Gaul said.

Hmmp.

Dr. Gaul nearly pushed you into Coriolanus. You stopped by the tiptoes before you collided with Coriolanus’s broad chest.

“Hello.” You say firmly.

Coriolanus nods, too occupied studying your face. He would never admit it, but Coriolanus was too stunned to speak. This was his first time seeing your face up close and not hiding behind Dr. Gaul’s wild hair or burning in some dark corridor.

Your skin hadn’t been muted with discoloration or any signs of stitching of other human body parts on you; you didn’t have that overall oddity most (if not all) Dr. Gaul’s mutation had.

If you had been created in a laboratory somewhere, Coriolanus was sure it had been an antique doll factory.

You were like a porcelain doll, like the ones Tigris had played with growing up, which she would later have to pawn off during the war for three cans of pinto beans and a jug of milk. Before they were pawned, Tigris didn’t let Coriolanus touch her porcelain dolls, scared he’d break them with that negligence only a child could get away with.

You extend your hand out, waiting for Coriolanus to accept and shake your palm, but he doesn’t. Coriolanus didn’t want to touch you. He was scared he’d put a scratch on you.

You extract your hand, the slight smirk on your face fading.

“It seems like Mr. Snow has already caught onto my intentions.” Dr. Gaul says. “You two will not be friends—Coriolanus, you know how much of a nuisance it is to have friends, don’t you? Especially in a competition.”

“Competition?” You and Coriolanus say simultaneously. Coriolanus felt a strange feeling brewing in the pit of his stomach at the smile that appeared on Dr. Gaul’s face.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to throw you two into the arena.” I wouldn’t put that past her, Coriolanus thought. “Just think of the opportunity you two students have compared to the rest of the student body.” Gaul said. “How bad does that make me look? It’ll look like I’m just inviting anybody into our little secret society.”

She was anybody.

You scoff.

"I must assume the winner gets a permanent spot in this 'little secret society' then." Coriolanus said.

The winner would be Coriolanus since he was here first, obviously.

Dr. Gaul begins to nod, but she cuts herself off. "That part has been undecided, Mr. Snow; until further notice, I want to see how the two of you work with each other."

Coriolanus concluded that Dr. Gaul must get off by watching the youth of Panem suffer.

"I want the both of you to write a 6-page essay about what the punishment shall be if there were to be a second rebellion. It seems like the districts haven't quite learned their lesson, what would we do to deprive their barbarism?"

Coriolanus's face dropped in realization.

"Thank you, Mr. Snow, for the idea." Dr. Gaul grins. Dr. Gaul watches the bewilderment on both of her prodigy's faces; she's pleased with herself. "The paper is due this Monday, so there's no time to stand there so boggled."

Before Volumnia Gaul leaves her two students to work, she says: "Two brilliant minds both wanting to study under one brilliant professor. This should be fun."

Coriolanus could feel her shit-eating grin gloating through the archives as Dr. Gaul left.

You were there again.

Looking so clueless.

The sight of you alone made Coriolanus's gut churn, but that bewildered look on your face gave him hope. This competition should be easy if you were as brainless as Coriolanus thought.

But…

If you were one of Dr. Gaul's mutated experiments, you indeed had an advantage. An advantage Coriolanus Snow lacked.

Though the "competition" hadn't been set in stone, Coriolanus couldn't afford to let you win.

Snow lands on top, Coriolanus affirmed, watching you from a distance as you roamed through the "Punishment in World History" section of the archives.

Snow always lands on top.

Two hours passed.

Two hours in which you and Coriolanus hadn’t spoken a word to one another. The only sound came from the flip of a page in your textbooks or your pens squabbling over your papers.

Coriolanus looked up at you occasionally. He wondered how you got your skin to look so soft. He wanted to touch you, just one poke.

She can’t be that bad, an unrecognizable voice in his head said; this was his morality speaking.

His thoughts meshed, creating one considerable thought of you and a second rebellion.

He wondered if you would survive in a second rebellion; surely you wouldn’t; you’d shatter. And Coriolanus would have to save you from those barbaric districts. Though he didn’t mind having to save you, the thought of you being some damsel in distress made him more pleased to be around you.

Coriolanus looked down at your paper. The two you decided to split the essay into three parts each. You’d been on your second page, going onto the third. Coriolanus had just decided what he wanted to put in the introductory paragraph.

For two hours, what had he been doing?

You noticed his hostile yet imploring stares; you didn’t let it bother you until the second quarter of the hour came around.

“Sir Stare-a-lot, if you want to win Gaul’s competition, this isn’t how you do it; I’m sure cheating is prohibited.” You said, eyes still on your paper, penned hand squibbing away.

Coriolanus scoffed like he would want to cheat off you. For the past two hours, you could've been writing nonsense onto your paper.

"Like I could even read your chicken scratch handwriting from here." He spat. This makes you smirk. You snatch his paper quickly, ignorant of Coriolanus's pleas to "Give it back!"

You scanned over his paper.

Two sentences. He had two sentences, and the first sentence was the initial question rephrased.

You laugh.

"More like you can't read at all." You say. "You'd been staring at your books for two hours and this, is all you come up with? A district can come up with something better than this."

Maybe it was your taunting laugh, your comparing his knowledge to someone as low as a district, or your control over him in the short time you two had been studying together that left Coriolanus Snow speechless.

He couldn't think straight with you being around. Coriolanus excelled greatly at coming up with exciting ways to punish the districts for their wrongdoings. Still, with you sitting across from him with exquisite facial features and flawless skin, his mind drew a blank.

Coriolanus needed to recuperate; he needed you out of the picture, and he needed to win.

Part 2

#the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #fem reader #tom blyth #part 1 #toppost

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lullydoesstuff · 3 months ago

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- TOP DYSTOPIAN BOOKS -

Well, since I want to use this blog for personal stuff too and not just for requests or stuff concerning my MANY Demon Slayer AUs, here we are talking about some of my favourite books ever.

I love dystopian ones so these three will be very hard-core, I love the Hunger Games, I love Maze Runner, I love 1984 but these three just hit different.

Let's not lose time and let's begin!

3 - Tender is the Flesh (Augustina Bazterrica)

I decided to start with a book that has arrived in my country just this year, I didn't know about it before and I'm so glad I red it, even if it really disturbed me... do you know what the Promised Neverland is? Well, take it but make it Supersayan. And this is the less disturbing one here.

Plot: Marcos works in the meat industry, he always did but recently a virus started spreading, and animals couldn't be edible anymore so what does the government do? They start searching for vegan replacements? NO! They legalize cannibalism. Marcos has a troubled life, his father has gone mad since this "transition" from animal meat to human meat and his wife left him after they lost their son. He works in the meat industry but he swears to himself that he's not like the others, because he doesn't eat meat.

I know what you're thinking, "but this is a book to bring people close to veganism, it's the whole point"... no, congratulations, you didn't understand ANYTHING. This book is way more complex, this because it's about the line that divides humanization/objectification, and this will be a recurring theme in this post.

This book is full of gore (what did you expect?), graphic descriptions, violence, sexual violence so I don't know if I recommend this book to everyone, it's very short but be aware of this if you decide to read it. In any case, the plot is very interesting and it's very well written.

2 - The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)

I'm sure many of you have seen the TV series, I've seen it too and it's one of the few cases I say that the series is better than the book, maybe because the series has a more modern setting and so I can actually be terrified by it.

Plot: the world has been almost destroyed by wars and this caused the birth to decrease to 0, and what happens in America? After a coup a new government is instituted... a totalitarian theocracy where religious confessions that aren't Christianity are banned, let's fucking go, this new country's name is Gilead. In this new world women have an only job: being literal baby machines given to rich families to have children.

This is so damn disturbing because, the insemination thing is wild, the man reads a Bible verse from Genesis, and then he just... does it. It's gross, go check for yourselves, human butchering was nothing compared to this.

We follow June, an Handmaid and we just see how things work in this new... amazing... world... I guess.

1 - Unwind (Neal Shusterman)

This deserves the first place, I've never stopped reading a book I loved because it disturbed me too much. I wanted to support the author, he's very good, so I bought all the other books from the Unwind distology... but I finished the first one and never red the second one, please tell me in the comments if it isn't as disturbing as the first one so I can give it a chance or not.

Plot: in the USA a second civil war is fought, but that's not a war where you shoot people from aontoher country to conquer it, or to oppose the government (well... kinda), it's about reproductive rights, many discussions, many things but in the end people decree that you can't abort in any case (*Lully already screaming and tearing off her hair*) BUT you can... well... Unwind your child if you don't want them anymore. But just when he's from 13 to 18.

What does unwind mean? Basically you give your unwanted child to some clinics that literally vivisection them (yes, the person is awake during the process BY LAW) and give thier organs to people that need transplants.

Now you can easily understand why this is the number 1 in this list, it's the destructive combo between "Tender is The Flash" and "the Handmaid's Tale".

We'll follow the story of Risa, Connor and Levi (and this last one oh my God, I wanted to punch his family so bad), escaping their fate of being unwind.

And yes, that scene comes, yes, you will see a vivisection, and yes... you will feel physically sick and need to throw up after, you'll probably have nightmares and life crisis. Also because... the unwind isn't exactly one of the "good guys".

Ah, dear pro-life people that care about a bunch of unborn cells and can't distinguish a human embryo from a dolphin embryo... Read this book, then change your mind about other people's body and take choices just for yours, because it seems we're going back and not aiming foward as we should.

#books #dystopian #unwind #unwind dystology #the handmaid's tale #tender is the flesh #horror #horror books #the hunger games #orwell 1984 #george orwell #susanne collins #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #disturbing books #lets not make this irl

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alpaca-clouds · 3 months ago

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The Thing About Solarpunk Romance

Something that is quite interesting to me is a certain dualogy within the few novels that have been released for the genre is that there are basically two different kinds of novels there - and then there is Fox Hunt, but let me first talk about the novels there are.

Now, mind you. This list involves only novels that according to my information were written to be Solarpunk Fiction, rather than novels written at times before the invention of Solarpunk, that the label was later applied to. And these novels are:

The Biodome Chronicles by Jesikah Sundin (a Solarpunk vs Cyberpunk story)

The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson (Solarpunk YA)

Foxhunt by Rem Wigmore (a Solarpunk action novel)

Seeds of the Swarm by Sim Kern (a story focusing on establishing Utopia)

Another Life by Sarena Ulibarri (kinda an anthology in a meta narrative and with a heavy philosophical focus)

When We Hold Each Other Up by Phoebe Wagner (a story about a Solarpunk society emerging after ecocide)

Now, it might be that I am overlooking some books here, especially as most Solarpunk publishing is happening within the context of Indie publishing and self publishing. So, if I do not hear about it through social media, I will probably not hear about it at all. And sure, I can go through Amazon and look at books tagged as "Solarpunk", but I am just guessing.

Outside of that, there is only the many, many anthologies that have been released, but I will not generally talk about them right now.

Now, I generally have the feeling that a lot of Solarpunk writers are like me: Oh, I have a story idea for a Solarpunk novel, but... I am not quite motivated to write it. Pretty much all writers I have been in contact with who were at some point writing a Solarpunk novel have put that project on pause to write something else. (Which is probably an issue for another day.)

But no, what I wanted to talk about is: Of those six books above I have read three so far. The first three. The first two I would actually categorize as romances. While both Biodome and Summer Prince involve of course the dystopia/utopia connundrum happening, they both have very much the same feel I would argue a lot of the dystopian YA novels that were released around the same time as those two novels (earlier half of the 2010s) had to me. Sure, there is a story, but in the end the books have a strong core in the main relationships.

Foxhunt also had a romance, but it really felt more tertiary to the plot and was not a focus of the story for the most part.

As I said, I have not read the other three novels yet. But yeah, this is what I can say about it. And I do wonder...

I am honestly not quite sure whether those first two novels were written as Solarpunk. I know that at the very least The Summer Prince was marketed under the tag, but that is pretty much where my knowledge ends.

It makes sense though, that those books came out at the time they did. They were just riding the dystopia high related by the Hunger Games, nothing else. And because of that there are the romance subparts there.

But here is the thing: In some way romance is a strange viability marker. No matter what kind of base idea exists, there is a romance subgenre that deals with it. Because no matter how much pretty much everyone derides the romance genre, it is actually the best selling genre of literature there is. If you look at the fiction genres, there is romance (including smut), then there is mystery/crime, then there is nothing, and then there is everything else in terms of both sales and the number of stories there is. Romance sells more books than fantasy or scifi can dream off. But at the same time Romance has crossover with pretty much every other genre, because Romance can happen in any genre.

Let's face it, the different between most superhero movies and a romance is the central focus of the story. You absolutely could restructure the Iron Man movies in a way to make them romance movies that happen to also feature one of the main couple to be a superhero.

And yes, there is a ton of superhero romance out there in the book market. Because no matter what concept there is: There is romance of it.

Now, I will openly admit: Cyberpunk is also a genre where at least the English and German market does not have a whole lot of romance. Sure, there is some, but not a whole lot. (Japanese Cyberpunk ironically has spawned a whole lot more romance - but again, a topic for a later date.)

But it is interesting to me. Romance is fairly accessible in terms of the SP market, and I note that it is interesting how there is little in terms of Solarpunk romance out there. Now there is the question: Is this because the main audience for Romance does not know much about Solarpunk - or because they don't gel with it.

I don't have the answer for this. But I cannot keep but wondering.

What do you think?

#solarpunk #lunarpunk #climate fiction #clifi #romance #scifi romance #utopia #utopian romance #romance literature #solarpunk meta #romance meta

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pumpkinsy0 · 3 months ago

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outsiders characters as events from my silly ahh summer camp. i don't know how i survived for a month at a time there tbh

ponyboy: me going gollum mode over the hunger games book. it wasnt even a joke at that point i was struggling. also the pivotal turn my life took when i read hatchet. like i was reflecting and allat

darry: the DELECTABLE ahh lunches. idk what they did but they were so tasty. like i would have the best nap of my life after muching down on that

johnny: me crying myself to sleep that one time, some girl was like "erm miss counselor!!! i think insert name here is crying under her sleeping bag!!" and my bitch ass counselor who i HATED like she was my arch nemesis started trying to calm me down which made me even more upset. and earlier that day i was trying to feel included in a conversation w a semi friend and some cunt went like "no ones talking to u" when i was Literally just sitting there.

dally: that horse they assigned me that would not do anything asked of him. also one time he like broke out of his stall and was just walking around?? he was an interesting fellow. he was silly tho

soda: me getting sick from eating 2 much cereal. i was writhing around bc tummy ache 2 much later in the day. to be fair i did eat more than 10 servings of cereal.

steve: us having no air conditioning in the cabins. we had to bring our own fans. i had to shower multiple times a day bc I was sweating so much.

twobit: some girl mixing chicken and jello together. also me falling out of a bunk.

cherry: that time during horse and tack when we watched a movie bc it was too hot outside so we went in. but the movie was rlly sad and I cried

that was then… this now… ones

bryon: me almost drowning during one of the swimming performances. like I was lowk choking on water while under the sea was playing in the background.

mark: again that one damn counselor i hated so so much. like i was planning her downfall. why on God's green earth was she singing riptide while we were trying to sleep stfu

m&m: i would start randomly crying so often. i would miss lots of classes bc i would just be in the bathroom bawling for various reasons

angela: girls being so so mean to me. like it was a problem.

curly: me throwing hiking boots at a girl I didn't like

tim: them having to ban making slip n slides in the bathrooms. i didn't ask and i didn't want to know

most of these things aren't too relevant anymor but they kinda funny so here. i mean expand on these if u want. i can't put them on my blog bc it's not a TO blog but they need to be put somewhere

u made me remember this time where i just woke up weak as hell and my aunt had to literally spoonfeed me multiple bowls of cereal, to this day idk exactly HOW i got that weak, that has never happened to me before and it hasnt happened since

BUT ALSO i remember going to this summer camp and somehow someway we got into this gender prank war and im just pushing that onto all of em

and THEN there was this other time i was in this summer?????christian????school camp thing????? and look im an atheist idk what i was doing there i showed zero interest but my cousins and sister was also there, and for lunch we were going out which i dont think anyone else was doing bc my teacher asked “r u SURE u wanna go???” and i rhink she was pushing me to stay but i said yea and left immediately and i giggle at that and i think pony wluldve done the same, i wanted OUT🗣️

#ponyboy curtis #curly shepard #tim shepard #angela shepard #darry curtis #darrel curtis #dallas winston #sodapop curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #mark jennings #bryon douglas #m&m carlson

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asegunda · 1 year ago

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Lots of Sparks

PJO

Pairing: PLATONIC! Jackson Family (Paul and Tyson inculded) x Mortal! GN!Reader

Words: 1222

Summary: This is supposed to be a Part 2, of my other work "A Little Spark", since I'm making this a timeskip it will be at the final of Book 4, in Percy's 15th Birthday Party, and the Start of Book 5, before he is with Rachel. The Jackson family receives 2 guests in the party, one we know who they are, but what about the 2nd?

Warnings: Timeline: End of Book 4: The Battle of the Labyrinth and Start of Book 5: The Last Olymlian. English is not my 1st language! And you are older than in Part 1. Canon change.

Notes: Thank you so much for liking so much Part 1! I tried to do my best since I didn't really have something to do. Most of this is fluff because Gabe (🤢) is finally gone! And family bonding. I hope you like this part as the first, but Idk..

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While preparing the party you and Percy were talking of what Paul calls 'Girl affairs'.

"...And then she KISSED ME." Percy says looking at you.

"Wait. She kissed you? And you are just telling me now dumbass!" You whisper to him.

"I didn't know how to bring that up and believe me when I say that I'm still trying to believe it." He says while taking napkins out of the drawer.

"...And you two are dating now right?" You ask.

"No.."

"What do you mean no?...You guys kissed and like eachother what more do you need to start dating?" You say taking plastic cups and putting them in the table.

"I don't know..it's just.." He says, don't knowing what to say more.

"Is it because of your new friend Rachel?" You ask.

"What? Why would it be?"

"It's just that you remembered her number after seeing it one time, ...and since you came back from the mission you are either talking about dying, Annabeth or her." You say looking at the sides and eating a bit of a chocolate from the blue cake.

"Hey! That's not true! And stop eating the chocolate! Mom will think it was me." He says blushing.

"Okay, but you three look like a love triangle or something. Like Katniss, Peeta and Gale." You say nodding to yourself.

"Since when did you read the Hunger Games?"

"1 month ago, but that's not the important, the important is that you are in a love triangle." You say laughing.

"I'm not!" He says getting out of the room, heat in his ears.

"Why are you running baby?" You tease but he doesn't respond back and goes to his room.

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You and Sally were eating the cake while Paul talked with Tyson, his eyes shining while Paul talks about how good at Monopoly he is, Tyson makes a big smile as he hears the compliments leave the other man's mout.

Percy was talking to his father, he looked like a fisherman to you, not the mighty God of the Seas, but you guess that was his human form.. when he saw you he gave you a quick, but genuine smile, while he smiled you thought how much his green eyes represented Percy's, they were certainly family, but he was Tyson's dad too, and Tyson loved him as you saw with his 'Daddy' the moment Poseidon enetred the apartment. You still can't understand why the gods are always having children, don't they have more mighty things to do? Like protect they're land or the Olympus? You couldn't really understand.

You get out of these thoughts when Tyson asks if you want to play Uno, you can't say no right? So you two play.

As you are playing Percy comes back from his conversation with Poseidon, looking happy but at the same time kinda shaken up.

"Are you okay Perc?" You ask, not wanting to know how the hell Poseidon dissapeard, problaly god stuff, and he looks at you and smiles.

"Yeah..it's nothing that I'm not used to." He says and sits.

While he sits Paul calls in the kitchen.

'Problaly to talk about the wedding proposal.' You think.

He already told you that he wants to marry Sally, for you it's all good, he is already the person who takes you to school and you see the way Sally looks at him and he looks at her. You know that Percy is gonna accept it too. Paul is a really cool and swett guy.

You scream Uno while Tyson still has 5 cards and you smile proud of yourself.

After that you hear a knock at the door, Sally goes open it.

As she opens a man in a suit talks to her and after the talk she looks at you.

"Y/N, dear, can you come here?" You nod and come to the door.

Sally passes her arms around you while you look at the man.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but..this is complicated to say..well.. you're biological mother entered in contact with us. She says she wants to take care of you." He tells and both you and Sally look tense.

"But why would she want something with Y/N, she never showed interest in your life until now." Sally asks while looking at you.

You tense up.

"Well, I have a guess.." He sighs. "After Mr. Ugliano death all of his debts passed to her. Maybe taking care of her would be a indirect revenge with the person with the most connections with Mr. Ugliano. That is you, Y/N."

"No, that can't be!" Sally yells alerting the rest of the family that were in the living room (Percy was on is room.)

"I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson but Y/N isn't still legally your child." He says to her and looks at you. "If your mother wants to take your full care of you, she can even go to court."

"She isn't my mother, Sally is, I don't want to see her. Or be with her." You say your eyes starting to go red, Sally hugs you.

"If those adoption files didn't took that long.." She whispers that only the man can hear, he nods.

"Im sorry Mrs. Jackson, the best you can do is go to the court against her, maybe if you win the judges acelarate the adoption process."

Sally smiles to him and nods

"Thank you Sir for alerting us."

"It's nothing Mrs. Jackson, have a rest of a good party." He smiles at you and gets out of the apartment.

"Well looks like I'm going to court." She says as she closes the door and looks at Paul.

"...What?" He asks and while he is explaining you go to Percy's room to explain the situation.

When you open the door Percy is with another boy, who looks like a zombie, and emo, really emo.

"I can come back latter, bye Perc and Perc emo friend." You close the door again and go back to the living room, hearing a laugh after that, problaly Percy's.

Paul tells you that you don't need to worry when you get at the living room.

"When the time comes everything will be solved." He says.

You nod and hug him, he smiles at you.

The rest of the night you all play card games and after some hours Percy comes back from talking with his emo friend, looking again shaken up.

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All of your family is taking another party from the court win. Your mom didn't even have the conditions to take you in, and even if she had you weren't coming.

In some days Percy is also taking a vacation with is friend Rachel family.

Every time he talked about it to you, you made a knowing look, his love problems were as good as a reality show, you don't even want to know Annabeth face when she finds out. You could laugh with that.

But now not even Percy is thinking about that vacation he is thinking of how much you grew up since he met you, still in the control of Smelly Gabe, and how much more happy you were in these years after taking you with them.

He hugs you. Now that doesn't matter,

you are officialy Y/N Jackson.

#Spotify #part 2 #percy jackson x platonic reader #pjo #percy jackson and sally jackson #paul blofis #tyson #pjo x reader #platonic pjo please!!#gn reader #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson #sally jackson x platonic reader #sally jackson #sally jackson x reader

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thesweetnessofspring · 1 year ago

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What blows my mind on rereading the books is how attracted to Peeta Katniss is. I hadn’t read them for years so I did think of them as a typical wholesome relationship with a nice guy that never dives into the attraction parts. But now I see the constant flirting that happens, the hunger and need to be close, the description of his body and face, the whole beach scene. And Peeta is super respectful for all of the books but Suzanne didn’t make it seem like a lot of nice guys are written where they wouldn’t dare show any attraction. Peeta in the cave is sneaking in kisses and post games he mentions them being alone together. They’re RIDICULOUSLY into each other . And I appreciate that they found the balance of a nice couple being horny for each other, it always feels like most media at the time portrayed sexual need as something that can only happen with bad boys.

They are into each other at EVERY SINGLE LEVEL it is ridiculous. As a fandom grandma, I remember when people were fancasting Peeta back in the day and one of the more popular choices (though he was 🤢 for many reasons) was Alex Pettyfer. I think a lot of people pictured Peeta super hot (as opposed to what he really is, which is boy-next-door-cute) in part because Katniss's details and descriptions of him are soooo layered with her attraction. Like yes, Katniss, please go on more about his big strong arms and the sunlight in his hair and his blue eyes. 😂 We don't get Peeta's POV but it's obvious he's smitten by her physically as well, saying the flames suit her and that to him she's "perfect."

And Peeta!! That boy could be such a heartbreaker if he wanted to! He flirts with Katniss so effortlessly and in general is really good around people, but he never gives her cause to be jealous (by my reading of the book he doesn't with Johanna in the elevator, even though the movie interpreted that part differently). And oh my, does Katniss crave his touches! Even from book one she's giving him genuine gestures of affection and delighted in what he gives to her. I think because kissing is more intimate she has a harder time feeling the "hunger" when they only ever kiss in front of the camera. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if Katniss ever had a chance to really kiss Peeta without cameras around she would have made up her mind about the boys a lot sooner.

Non, it is so, so, SO important to me that Katniss and Peeta have that real sexual chemistry you talk about and why the movies are so disappointing in this aspect. I think that relationships between adults in shows and movies have offered more that are "healthy, in love, and hot for each other" recently, but we hardly ever see it for teenagers! The "nice guy" is usually kinda awkward or there isn't a lot of chemistry, and all of the sexual tension comes from the "bad boy." There isn't really a bad boy equivalent in THG, but Peeta still fills in a sort of "good guy" role in the love triangle and the fact that Gale can get jealous and pushy but Katniss is still like 😑 with him, but 🥰 around Peeta is sooooooooooooo important. Like yes, teach those young people that healthy conflict resolution is hot!! Teach them that safety and gentleness is a turn-on!! YES YES YES!!!

#everlark #anon ask

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fairuzfan · 1 year ago

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You talking about the hunger games in relation to palestine reminded me of an absolutely deranged thinkpiece I stumbled upon a couple years back, so I went looking for it. It's by 'the jewish (zionist) chronicle', and they are talking about the movie, and if the premise of it is mocking isr*el. It's funny that they can see the resemblance between the capitol and their illegitimate country, while still seeing no fault in themselves. And when I say funny, I mean 100% expected. I'm attaching a link if you're interested at all, but be warned it's worded in the typical anti-arab way.

https://www.thejc.com/lets-talk/is-the-hunger-games-inadvertently-mocking-israel-p3w00co6

Ok this article is absolutely ridiculous LMAO. Literally proves my point about how Palestine and the Districts are the same.

What's really funny is that for years I've been trying to figure out Suzanne Collins' (the writer) political opinions because The Hunger Games is just so obviously a metaphor to me for Palestine but I've found like less than nothing about her. She said she got the idea from watching the Iraq War with bits of reality television interspersed so I think I can kinda tell where her politics lie a bit (although at this point, I don't think I can make assumptions).

In all honesty, I haven't watched the movies lol because the casting and set design really messed up how I imagined the story while reading. Plus I heard that the movie does exactly what the books mock (making a spectacle of war for consumption) so that automatically turned me off. I wanted to see this new movie though because I wanted to see the songs come to life but now I'm like completely uninterested since the director (Francis Lawrence) signed the no hostage letter (click) that Amy Schumer wrote. If you're willing to align your name with Amy Schumer at this point with how incredibly racist she is, I have no interest in any content you want to make.

Back to the article, I would say it's actually more "anti-Palestinian" than "anti-arab" because it homogenizes all of Palestine otherwise, but yes this is like. An incredibly racist article lol. Here's an excerpt that I thought was actually super funny.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY WOULDN'T SHOW A MOVIE WHERE MEN AND WOMEN KISS. Legit one of the funniest assertions I've seen in a while. Remember guys, Palestinians CANNOT handle romance, it will explode their brains.

Also it's really funny how they're like "yeah the bow and arrow reminds me of the slingshots Palestinians use but remember, KHAMAS, like Katniss' resistance, has rockets!!!!! Israelis hide in fear in bomb shelters!!! KHAMAS only has tunnels for attacking! Nevermind the use of the tunnels for countering relentless siege on the people of Gaza! We, the people in the Capitol that I see myself in, are the victims!"

Also look at how they end the article:

"Man, Snow really reminds me of Israel. Won't examine that at all, even though I know it's important to. Anyways I feel so bad :( It ruined my evening."

And to that I say: Suck it, bro! Get Palestiniated!

I really underestimated how wild this would be. Here's the article if anyone wants to read it:

#palestine #hunger games #ok im tagging this as palestine because this is like explictly tied with palestine #anyways hunger games is for the palestinians!!!!

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icrypop · 5 months ago

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Ask~~~ Hiiii i have a writing request if you don't mind! Could you write something about the banner family? Specifically the parents? I love them so much and there is a genuine lacking of content for them! Thank you! :)

Eeee yes I love this family, they definitely need more content on it all and I'm so excited to write about this!

-Writer Icy♡

General HC's for The Banner Family♡

Mike, Emma, Ashlynn

School Bus Graveyard ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both former military people, I feel like the nickname Mike gives Ashlynn "Soldier" is just something that happened naturally which honestly is super cute and makes the family feel healthy and domestic ❤️

Emma, being the sweet anti-social woman she is, is very understanding of her daughters emotions towards not wanting to have friends, I feel like she might've had trouble with that when she was younger or even in bootcamp.

I hc that Emma and Mike met in the military, finding such a beautiful peace among so much chaos. Their love holds alot of respect and understanding because they are quite different from each other.

Emma is more quiet and collected, Mike is more of the sporty, outgoing type of guy and I feel they clicked kinda fast. Mike has a ton of energy, he drinks coffee with like...two shots of espresso and Emma has hers just black. Or she drinks tea- I can see that too..

EMMA IS A BOOK WORM- now hear me out- She enjoys reading alot into either the survival fiction books or like...the dystopia books like Hunger Games or The Giver because she can picture it more in her mind.

I also hc before Ashlynn was born, Emma either read to Mike before bed or in quiet time or read to her baby belly :,)

Ashlynn, when she was little, would ask Mike and Emma to tell stories from the military but like...the funny ones about all the crazy stupid stuff that happens in the barracks. Mike being like "Yeah and Johnny almost got caught by our Unit Commander and blah blah blah slipped and landed right into the mud on the other side of the fence" or something like that

Emma had some creativity with her quietness, I feel like she sang or danced in private, maybe was in a high-school choir or something before enlisting.

I feel like they had alot of trouble overcoming the 'Phantoms' along with after being in the military for a while. Like....that has to come with a certain amount of trauma or mental health that lessened from it. They had to rely on one another to pick each other up on especially hard days and now they work together to do said thing for Ashlynn.

They are definitely a pretty healthy family from what is given from them, they want the best for Ash and to keep her happy and safe. They're loving parents and have alot of things they carry but they manage it in healthy ways.

Ugghhh I love them, they deserve extra credit, they're so precious 💖

Send More Requests! Inbox is empty ♡♡♡

#school bus graveyard #The banner family #ashlynn banner #mike banner #emma banner #general hc #headcanon #not canon #my fic #send requests #request #requests open #ask answered

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persephoneprice · 7 months ago

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maybe this is silly but — do you have any thoughts on lucy grays specifically appalachian identity? I often think abt how the films erased the cultural / geographical specificities of district 12 even though it’s literally so so important to the books (it’s mentioned on page 2 of the hunger games) and idk I think it’s very interesting/ kinda funny and iconic that in response to that erasure suzanne collins literally made a character whose cultural identity cannot be erased without significantly altering her narrative function. On a meta textual level it’s also an interesting echo to the Capitol erasing lucy gray and then her being restored by the author - kinda? Idk I’m a huge appalachian folk nerd (it’s why I read tbosas lol) so I. Think abt it a lot

omg no this is not silly at all and i am so excited that someone wants to talk about Appalachian culture in the hunger games!! usually i feel like i’m just yelling my appalachian nonsense into the void. ps i love that you’re an appalachian folk nerd- are you also appalachian??

also let me apologize in advance- i started a new anxiety medicine and have felt awful and have had a lot of brain fog so it’s very possible that none of this makes sense or is even what you’re asking.

i ended up rambling a lot so i will put my actual answer under the cut:

the erasure of all the really appalachian things- especially the accents- in the trilogy will always devastate me. which i why i will go to my death defending rachel zegler against anyone who criticizes her accent in tbosas.

i love lucy gray and the covey because you absolutely can see so much appalachian and bluegrass influence in them and their lives- but the book makes it clear that they aren’t really district 12, therefore, not really appalachian.

i think in a lot of ways lucy gray really embodies an appalachian girl. she’s fun and strong and willing to do whatever it takes to survive. she’s not afraid of the woods or the creatures in it- she makes friends with the snakes. she loves music (my girl needs a banjo i will die on that hill) and brings that to her people. their performances are one of the few times that people in 12 really get to be carefree and have fun and it brings everyone together. music is such an important thing in appalachian culture and is something that always brings people together.

she as a double name and it’s important to address her using both- which is also a fairly common thing in appalachian culture, it’s rude to only refer to them by one of the names. (which is why if someone only calls her lucy i do not take their opinion on her character seriously at all.)

you can also see it in the way the covey are a family without all being really related and the way the older members take care of the younger ones. in the way they spend time at the lake fishing and swimming and collecting food from around the area to eat. in the clothes they wear. in their music (nothing you can take from me boot stomping version my beloved).

but i think the distraction that they aren’t really from district 12 and not really appalachian is important. you can see that in the way lucy gray describes the covey as outsiders in district 12. i think this is another way that you really see the influence of appalachian culture in district 12. it doesn’t matter how many similar traits that they have or how long they have lived there- they’re still outsiders to the people who have lived there their whole lives. they still aren’t fully trusted by the wider community because they’re different and not from around here.

i’ll stop rambling now because i think my brain fog is causing this to not make any sense but anyway thank you so much for sending this!!! i love talking about this!!! i would love to hear your thoughts as well

#thank you so so so much for sending this!!!#asks #i love talking about appalachian culture in the hunger games #i love u for this #i’m sorry if it makes no sense blame the medicine #but please feel free to tell me your own thoughts i would love to hear them!!#lucy gray baird #the covey #appalachia #appalachian nonsense

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devildogdemon · 7 months ago

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Bracing myself for committing potential Everlark sacrilege here. Still, I’m curious: Does anyone else ever dabble in the What If/headcanon that Peeta made up his original crush on Katniss? That in the beginning, it really was all just part of his and Haymitch's plan to hype Katniss up, and help boost her favor as the super rare chance for a District 12 Victor? But in the course of the first games, and particularly while committing to the star-crossed lovers act in the cave, he ended up actually falling in love with her?

This was actually my original interpretation the first time I read the first book. That all the rest of the backstory is still true: Mr. Mellark pointing Katniss out, Katniss singing the Valley song, etc. But it was just how Peeta remembered her, not the beginning of years-long pining.

Quick disclaimer: I'm not trying to argue for this headcanon's legitimacy. In fact, I now know it's not true. While writing this post, I remembered that Peeta told Katniss during the Victory Tour he was jealous of Gale before he officially met her. So by his own words, Peeta's crush predates the first Hunger Games.

Still, reading the first book on its own, it’s a headcanon I always come back to, and I think works in its own way sometimes.

For one thing, it’s a bit beyond my suspension of disbelief that Peeta was reaped alongside the girl he was silently obsessed with for 11 years. It feels way more like convenience to me than destiny or anything like that. Not to mention, this is supposedly a crush that began and persisted long before Peeta hit puberty.

But it’s not just the realistic aspect that draws me to this hc. It's also because I love how much it contributes to the 'accidental soulmates' aspect on Everlark. The idea that these two were not meant to fall in love. That if their lives went the way they thought or planned, they never would have spoken. They would have rarely crossed paths, if at all. They would have married different people, if anyone when it came to Katniss, but Gale would be the sole candidate if she did. And they would have lived out their days and died as strangers. But through a series of completely unforeseen, bizarre circumstances in this cruel world that brought them together in the most horrific of ways, from it emerged a real bond between them. Even if it started as a charade for sponsors, it morphed into a real bond of love and care that was genuine, and beautiful, and selfless, and real.

My take is essentially that Peeta took his mother's final words to him about Katniss as bitingly true, not that that made them any less hurtful. And from that point forward, he figured if he was going to do something worthwhile before his inescapable death, it would be to help his District. And the way to do that would be to help the girl who could do that better than he ever could.

Sure, there are things like him keeping hold on Katniss' hand during the chariot ride, and teasingly prodding her for a kiss while she's treating him. But...ok, I hesitate to project onto a boy who was and is leagues above me in every way (feel free to flame me for this). But as a former 16-year old boy myself, who was roughly that age when first reading the story, I kinda figured he just wanted to experience a taste of romance before his inevitable death? Like the PG version of "I don't want to die a virgin."

Anywho, gonna whistle past that embarassing hot take lol. But I think this hc gels well too with all his actions Katniss finds questionable: telling her everyone was watching her during the chariot ride, the crush revelation, teaming up with the careers to throw them off her trail, and fighting Cato. He's doing it all for her to win, even at the expense of himself. Not because he has feelings for her (yet), but because he believes in her.

But it's at the point when Katniss finds him in the mud bank, and she does everything in her power from then on to keep him alive, that maybe his feelings for her take a turn for the real. She shouldn't be trying to keep him alive. It’s of no benefit to her whatsoever. But she refuses to let him die. She will not even discuss it. It makes zero sense to him. No one's ever valued his life this much, even his own family. Why is this girl he barely knows, who never noticed him before, suddenly sparing no expense to keep him alive? To the point of risking her own life for him?

This comes to a head when he tries to rebuke her for going to the feast:

"No! Just don't, Katniss! Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favors. All right? "Maybe I did it for myself, Peeta, did you ever think of that? Maybe you aren't the only one who...who worries about..what it would be like if..." "If what, Katniss?" "That's exactly the kind of topic Haymitch told me to steer clear of." "Then I'll just have to fill in the blanks myself."

On that last line, I took that as Peeta seeing for the first time that Katniss actually does care about him. More than anyone ever has. That she wants him to live, just as much as she wants them to win. And that's when he truly falls for her. Sadly, he makes the mistake of presuming she feels the same way. That's the only blank he filled in incorrectly.

But did he, though? Because what follows that last line is the first kiss between them that makes Katniss feel "stirring in her chest" and "wanting another." This whole conversation made her want to shut the world out, because "whatever I'm feeling, it's no one's business but mine."

So maybe their feelings for each other kinda awoke at the same time? And deep, deep down, the two of them could sense that shift in emotion toward each other. Where performance became reality. For Peeta, much stronger. But for Katniss, she's not quite there yet.

Now yes, I'm aware Katniss gets Peeta to tell the story of his crush AFTER this happens. But as Katniss points out prior to this, he's the silver-tongued one. Not to mention an established good liar. So keeping with the idea this was when he first noticed her, maybe he blends the facts here a little, and decides to make this the point of where his crush began? He probably had it in the vault anyway since the interview.

Finally, I thought this better explained Peeta's anger at the end, when the mask is finally lifted for him. Because logically, why would he think what started as an established act would become real for Katniss? As Katniss says, they were strangers who'd never spoken before all this. Is it because he still thinks she can't lie? Well she proved him wrong there, if only for a moment. I thought the more likely reason he thought Katniss' feelings for him became real, is because that's exactly what happened to him. As I mentioned before, his presumption wasn't entirely off, and Katniss' words that "not all of it" was for the Games are true enough. But it doesn't make the revelation any less crushing for him.

I really do wonder sometimes what kind of story this would have made for if Suzanne took this approach in the sequels. I know now it's an incorrect headcanon, but I'm curious if anyone else ever shared it while reading the first book, and wonders the same.

If you read all my silly ramblings about a now-debunked headcanon, I am both eternally grateful and eternally sorry. Feel free to share, concur, roast, or do whatever in response. Thank you and may this ship be ever on your dashboard :)

#everlark #the hunger games #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #katniss and peeta #thg #thg meta #thg headcanons #incorrect headcanons #q

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mins-fins · 1 year ago

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EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD.

synopsis: the one thing taerae would always go by is "it's better to kill than be killed". a selfish motif to hold, yes, but in a world like this, where being selfish is the only way to survive, love isn't an option, love shouldn't be an option, and taerae thought that was that, but he sure did love lying to himself, and it's just so disappointing how things turned out.

pairing: kim taerae x male!reader

genre: dystopian au, fluff, angst, heartbreak, strangers to companions to lovers, happy ending? hell no 👍

warnings: mentions of murder, mentions of suicide, mentions of weaponry, kinda hunger games ripoff, talks of death and the afterlife, mentions of injuries and descriptions of bruises, taerae is so gay it's funny, conflicting feelings

word count: 3.7k

notes: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES WAS SO GOOD HELLO??? it was so beautifully shot and the movie was so good and the actors all delivered none of them missed they said "were getting that paycheck" and they DID! but anyway, can i tell you how much i love dystopian books how did i not read the hunger games sooner like wtf 🙁 i debated for so long on who to write this for and originally i thought gunwook but then i thought of something i think would be smart to put in the story so taerae it is! i hope you enjoy 👍

anyway and all reblogs are appreciated, please for the love of god if you have feedback, even if it was the smallest of it, so tell me, i love reading reblogs and people's thoughts on my fics, please do not be a silent reader 🙁🙏 this layout was inspired by @taeiun (ily)

104 days before.

the first thing taerae did was suck in a breath.

being stuck in an arena, with hundreds of other people, some of them adults, some of them children, some of them barely able to say goodbye to their families, some of them that had nobody left, all here for one reason, all against their own will.

taerae has been through this once before, when he was fifteen years old. it was traumatizing, he barely made it out alive, let alone made it out a winner. the only things he'd ever heard about it was how you had to run, how you needed to make sure you didn't make any close allies, how you should've been careful with who you trusted.

taerae had to learn that the hard way.

and by the "hard way" that equals almost getting murdered by a grown adult for a piece of jewelry.

but that was six years ago, taerae's now an adult, and at least he's alive, it's better than having to succumb to such a ghastly fate, then slowly being forgotten by everyone else who would then come after him.

now he's back, with a newfound anger for the organizer of this "challenge".

so as he glances around, he sighs.

he glances at the paper in his hand, the one he had just crumpled. he brushes the small amount of hair out of his face, and reopens it, looking at the name that scribbled onto it.

the one thing taerae just happened to forget about these games.

he's stuck by someone's side.

he doesn't bother reading the name, just once again crumbling the paper and sticking it into his sweater pocket. he watches as other people begin scattering, trying to find out who their going to be paired with for these.. games. taerae just stands there, like an idiot, not wanting to move even a bit.

in short, he didn't want to have a partner, not just because of prior traumatic experiences, but because he didn't know how he'd fair during these years games. it was difficult to stomach the feeling of being in the games again, and his heart almost dropped when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

a small yelp just barely escapes his lips, and he jumps back, startled. all random touches have always made him uncomfortable, maybe it's just his unsaid paranoia, but he takes a deep breath, trying his best to calm his fast beating heart.

also because he'd just come in contact with one of the most beautiful men ever..

taerae clears his throat, looking up at his new companion (he doesn't enjoy the word that much, but for this guy, he might just suck it up). his new companion who is absolutely gorgeous, if taerae had to describe him, he'd say the word "enticing" is one of the best words he can use.

taerae has met pretty people, he's met several psychically attractive people, and there's a lot of encounters he's had with said kinds of people. he spends maybe two minutes before snapping out of it, feeling his face go red. "i— i'm sorry, was that rude? i apologize if that was rud—"

his new companion snickers, then full on laughs, shaking his head. "it's alright" he says softly, waving his hand dismissively. his voice is what taerae would think touching a cloud would feel like, it's just so soft, so comfortable to listen to.

taerae quickly pinches himself, he can't believe he's having such thoughts about someone he met like two seconds ago!

"um, kim taerae?"

taerae freezes, then nods. the beautiful stranger stretches out his hand for taerae to take, and he blinks for a moment like an idiot, quickly then taking his hand and shaking it. "l/n y/n, nice to meet you".

"nice to meet you too.."

taerae didn't know that taking that hand had practically sealed his fate.

that in 104 days, he'd be regretting everything he's ever done in his life..

89 days before.

one thing taerae has discovered about y/n is that he enjoys taking risks.

the whole point is that they're supposed to survive (at least one of them is), not try to kill themselves at every single chance.. which is exactly what y/n is trying to do. seriously, taerae never knew that people could ever enjoy jumping off cliffs, or just running into danger.

taerae didn't know having a companion meant having to bust out his ass every time he threatens the next person that tries him.

"seriously, do you enjoy being moments away from death?" he inquires, staring at the scab on y/n's hand, he immediately slaps y/n's hand away the moment he tries to pick at it. he earns a frown, and just rolls his eyes.

"don't do that, it's gross".

taerae's tone is stern, straight to the point, and y/n looks up at him when he stands up, walking off to go get something from his backpack. he narrows his eyes at him, and sighs as he sees the one thing he didn’t want to see.

not the bandages— rubbing alcohol.

"one of these days, the officials are gonna find you somewhere and think i killed you" taerae mindlessly comments, kneeling beside y/n and taking his hand, he considers putting up a fight, but taerae doesn't seem to be taking his shit that day, so he just lets taerae patch up his hand.

"i think that'd just certify you as a legend more than anything".

taerae laughs at the words, although y/n winces because he just happens to apply the alcohol at the same time. "your much of a comedian aren't you?" he inquires, lightly glancing up at y/n, but quickly glancing down as to avoid eye contact with him.

"i try".

taerae can't help the smile that crosses his face, but then his face drops at the realization that he's smiling about y/n. that's enough to make him begin questioning himself.

he shouldn't be smiling over a boy, he shouldn't even be thinking about smiling over a boy.

he was here to survive, not make friends, not fall in love.

but oh what a liar he was.

64 days before.

"what are you doing exactly?"

"it's a surprise".

taerae doesn't know if he can take another one of y/n's 'surprises', mostly because said boy enjoys chasing him around with spiders and, worst of all, snakes. he's smacked y/n so many times for scaring him that it's become much of an instinct in these few weeks.

"i don't know if i can trust any of your surprises anymore, l/n" taerae says, watching as y/n hums to himself. he has absolutely no idea what he's doing, considering his back is turned to him, as if he's trying to hide it from taerae. "what are you doing?"

the inquiry just barely makes it to y/n, who turns around, making sure his hands are hidden away from taerae. "i said, it was a surprise".

"i hope your not about to murder me".

"i would never" y/n smiles ominously, and taerae almost feels a bit.. fearful at the look he receives. he blinks away such thoughts, and simply sighs.

"y/n, seriously—"

taerae pauses, especially when y/n turns around and places something on his head. he goes silent for a moment, but then he sees y/n smile, and he blinks again. "what..?"

"it's a flower crown" he says simply, his hands dropping down to his sides. taerae opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again because he's just shocked at why y/n would do this.

it's just.. such a simple yet sweet act? and with the way y/n was staring at him, how could he not be falling in love with him? taerae's inner conscious is practically screaming at him right now, what happened to love isn't an option? he can't believe what he's thinking right now.

a look of shock quickly spreads over y/n's face and he turns around, clearing his throat. "yeah— uh, sorry" he mutters, and taerae simply smiles, feeling his heart soar in a way it never has before.

"no no it's.. pretty i like it" taerae slowly removes the crown, staring at the kinds of flowers that are littered around the crown. he runs his hands over the crown, and smiles once again, it was just something to cherish; something he would cherish for a long time.

"these are daisies right?"

y/n nods, taerae can tell he feels a little embarrassed, especially with the way he's picking at his nails. "yeah um, i know you like them".

taerae gasps, using this as an opportunity to tease the hell out of y/n. "aww you remembered!?"

"don't start.."

41 days before.

"do you sing?"

taerae looks up at y/n, his eyebrow raising at the inquiry. he tries so hard not to focus on the fact that his wet shirt is practically see through, in fact he tries so hard to ignore everything about y/n, worrying he's going to act impulsively and do stuff he can only think of.

"how'd you know?" no seriously, how did he? taerae mentioned playing the guitar as a one off thing maybe once.. he never mentioned singing before, and even then, the idea of singing being interesting to y/n just makes something go off in his mind..

"intuition" he simply replies, sitting himself down besides taerae. he stares at taerae for what seems like a while, and for some reason, taerae pauses just to stare at him too.

they keep having.. moments like this, where they just sit and stare at each other for unspecified amounts of time. taerae sometimes feels like he's fallen into a trap, that this is exactly what y/n wanted to happen, but those are just the excuses his brain makes to try and erase the feelings he's obviously growing for y/n.

he dislikes feeling like this—

but really, can he stop it?

"can you sing for me?"

"huh?"

taerae blinks, staring at y/n like he just asked an insane kind of question. he wants taerae to sing for him? he opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it, because he has no idea how to respond to that. the question shouldn't be so hard to answer, but for him, it is.

"you— you want me to sing?" he asks, taking in a deep breath. "for you?" he points at y/n, who just snickers, laying down onto the grassy field.

"i mean— you have a nice speaking voice, you must also have a nice singing voice too, right?"

taerae stares at y/n, thinking for a moment, then he turns to his guitar that's lying on the ground and picks it up. "do you have any songs in mind?"

"i was hoping that you would have songs in mind.." y/n immediately replies, and taerae gives him an 'are you serious' look.

"at this point i'm going to end up killing you" he says as a joke, positioning his guitar on his lap. the words make y/n laugh, because he's told that exact joke before, he finds it funny that taerae just repeated it to him.

"at least if i die, i'll die having heard your beautiful voice".

taerae scrunches his nose, lightly slapping y/n in the shoulder. y/n lightly squeaks, rolling ever just the slightest and dramatically clutches his stomach, as if taerae had just sentenced him to death.

"shut up before i change my mind" taerae spits out at him, knowing that was such a lie. he looks down at his hand, which is just caressing the strings of his guitar.

how does one even find themself in such a circumstance?

25 days before.

"where do you think we go when we die?"

the question catches taerae off guard. he notices the way y/n's eyes continue to go down, his eyelids are probably feeling heavy, taerae thinks. he's insanely tired, they both are. besides that, he rubs his eyes and patiently waits for taerae's answer.

"well.. i'm of the belief that there isn't really an afterlife" taerae answers. "i— i feel like, in my opinion, it's more comforting that i just get to die, and that's that, i don't know how i'd feel dying then just.. having to open my eyes again".

y/n's face stays unmoving for a moment, but then he smiles. "when i was younger, my mom told me that when i died, my soul would move on, while my body stayed on earth".

"she was never, you know, specific about it, she said some people go to good places and some people go to bad places after they die, but it all depends on they life they did lead, and the life they could've lead".

y/n doesn't look at taerae, instead resorting to picking at his skin, which taerae notices is a bad habit of his. he scoots closer towards y/n and pushes his hands apart, feeling displeased by the uncanny silence that now washes over them.

"your mom.. she sounds sweet" taerae mumbles, keeping his hands on top of y/n's. he doesn't really realize it, though, because it just feels so natural. y/n doesn't usually talk about things like this, he's the funny, comedic, kind of person, he doesn't talk about serious stuff, it's not his thing.

taerae assumes it's the sleep deprivation, the stress, the idea that he or taerae get could killed at any moment gives him extreme anxiety. yeah he tries to pass it off, but taerae can tell, his overprotective nature isn't outrightly obvious, but you can clearly see it in the bits and pieces of his personality that shine through.

he stops with just leaving his hand on top of y/n's, and begins holding y/n's hand in itself, intertwining their fingers, y/n also intertwines their fingers together, finding comfort in the way taerae decided to hold his hand.

"yeah she was, she.. died while a medic in war".

y/n plays with taerae's fingers, taerae thinks it's because he's afraid he'll cry that he doesn't look up, and he gets it, so he doesn't say more. y/n sighs, his voice barely above a whisper. "i don't—" he pauses for a moment. "i don't want to lose you taerae".

taerae's eyes widen, his mind begins racing, his heart begins beating faster, and he feels himself get warmer, despite the cold air that surrounds them. "you've become important to me, i feel like i need to protect you".

the words hit taerae like something he can't even describe, a heavy sigh escapes his lips as he thinks about, and he tightens his hold on y/n's hand. "it's a two way thing you know" taerae mutters. "don't worry, i won't let anything happen to you".

and for once, taerae wasn't listening to his head.

he was listening to his heart.

10 days before.

"the stars look pretty tonight".

y/n reaches over to grab taerae's hand, and tugs him closer, his eyes focused on the sky. taerae looks over at him, staring like he's the most beautiful person in the world, he's grateful that y/n can't just how much he's staring.

"can you identify the constellations?" he asks, and y/n finally looks back at him, closing his eyes as he lets out a laugh. "what? it's a totally normal question to ask when talking about stars!"

y/n shakes his head, then he looks back up at the sky, pointing. "that, is cassiopeia" he states, and taerae narrows his eyes, tilting his head to get a better look at the sky. "or in other words, the most boring constellation".

"cassiopeia? the most boring?" taerae snickers.

"yeah, scorpion is the most interesting one".

"um, no, it's definitely lyra".

"you wanna bet?"

"oh definitely! you'll lose!"

4 days before.

"are we gonna talk after this?"

the question makes y/n laugh. taerae notices that's how he responds to most questions, by laughing, maybe being by his side for about three months now has made him notice all these little things he barely saw when he first met y/n.

the idea of thinking about the future of.. well— them, scares him in a way.

staring at y/n is enough to instantly make him smile, he doesn't know when he decides to drop his whole act, when he decided to stop being so cold, why y/n is the one person that was able to remove him from the shell he once perfectly secured himself in.

to be honest though, he doesn't mind anymore.

"of course, why would we not?"

"i'm afraid you'd be certified too 'cool' for me once we return" taerae admits rather shyly, looking down at the floor despite the fact that he was laying down. y/n laughs once again, tucking taerae's hair behind his ear.

he pats his lap, and taerae lays his head down onto his lap, sighing. "i don't know, people perceive me in such a certain way that i'm scared you will too.." he says, feeling a little better as y/n runs his fingers through his hair.

"well, i know you a lot better than you think, taerae" y/n says, sounding sure of himself. taerae looks up at him, thinking for a moment, then smiling, then laughing.

"you sure do have a way with your words, y/n".

"thank you".

that was when taerae knew.

he was in love.

so in love.

the day of.

"i have a bad feeling about this".

taerae pauses, watching as y/n packs his stuff. "do you know how far astria is? what if you like.. have an accident on the way there?" taerae didn't mean to sound overly protective, really, he didn't, it just came naturally to him, especially when it came to y/n, and now that it was coming to this.

"it'll be fine, rae, you know i've been through worse".

"it's better to be safe than sorry, y/n".

y/n looks up at taerae, a snicker coming to his face accompanied by a smile. "i thought we talked about this yesterday, if you want me to stay, i can" he reminds taerae, the words pretty much echoing in his mind.

of course i want you to stay! but that would be so selfish of me! in these past three months you've never thought about yourself! it would be selfish of me to want you to stay when all you've done is for me..

"no, it's okay" taerae smiles. "it's alright, if it's for your own good, then you should go".

oh who was he kidding?

taerae hated the idea of y/n having to go, yeah they probably would be reunited in the next 10 hours, but they idea of the person he's been with for the past three months suddenly going off on his own gives so much more anxiety than he thought.

but at the same time, he feels horrible thinking like this.

what has y/n ever done but be selfless? even from the first moment they met, had y/n ever thought about himself? no, he hadn't. he thought about taerae and taerae only, he could've left taerae for dead at any moment, there were so many times where taerae felt— no, he knew that y/n was tired, so tired, but he still supported him.

he hates feeling like he's holding him back, like he's the reason y/n can't do more, like he's the reason he can't fulfill everything he's ever wanted.

"don't think so much" y/n walks up to taerae, placing his hands on his shoulder. he stares at him with so much love, that taerae almost considers crying, but he manages to stop himself from coming to tears. "i'm going to be okay, you know i can't be taken out that easily".

"don't jinx yourself" taerae barely manages to get it out, and he feels his voice break. y/n's face falls, and he caresses taerae's cheek, pressing a kiss onto his forehead.

"there's no need to worry about me, i'll be fine".

he had to confirm it twice, that meant he wasn't going to be fine.

and taerae was right, he wasn't.

he just wished he did more convincing and made y/n stay.

7 days after.

"i'm surprised how someone like you survived on their own".

"hao!"

taerae glances between the people, and he just gives an awkward smile. the smallest one of the group nudges zhang hao, who yelps, punching him in the waist. "don't be mean to taerae, he's obviously traumatized" matthew then turns to taerae, and smiles sympathetically.

taerae hates it.

"no i— i actually had a partner" taerae replies. at the words, both hanbin and matthew perk up. "it was a few months we were together before.. well— i don't know actually".

hanbin makes an 'o' shape with his mouth, his gaze quickly softening. hao narrows his eyes, and matthew is simply silent as he stares at taerae, who quickly zones out as he focuses on the mug in his hands. "we weren't informed you had a partner".

"well, he's dead" taerae states without thinking, his voice sounds dead, it's so empty that it's enough to startle hanbin. matthew opens his mouth, unsure at how to respond to such a stern statement. "sorry, was that rude in some way?"

"no no it wasn't rude!" hanbin says, waving his hands back and forth, he's waving them so much in fact, that hao has to put his hands down to stop him from moving so much. "we were just.. startled that's all".

"uh huh" taerae's face stays the same way it was before, and he plays with the spoon in his mug, not even bothering to take a sip of the now cooled tea. "so what? that's all you wanted to know?"

zhang hao opens his mouth, thinking of what he was going to say next, but then pausing to narrow his eyes and stare at taerae's shirt. there's a daisy pinned right to his shirt, just right out in the open, as if made to be obvious. "you like daisies?" he inquiries, looking up at taerae.

taerae doesn't even need to look down to realize what he's staring at, he just closes his eyes. "yeah" he responds flatly.

"my favorite flower".

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