#kinda wanna try again honestly
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Puts the best pokemon in the best game
#this is an old project but i just realized im 90% sure i didnt post it here. so !#anorith#pokemon#mc#minecraft#absolutely completely entirely fucked up any chance of get it animated properly... that thang was a mess but it was really fun to make#kinda wanna try again honestly#my art
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is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings
#this was supposed to be a warmup but i got carried away.... i havent drawn in so long that its been hard to focus orz#im testing a new brush for fun. again.. i think i can use this for clean lineart..?? im surprised i went as long as i did with the#narinder brush honestly... but i wanna try something new so here we are again#if i could get my shit together id love to draw a model of his van because i have smth really cool in mind..i was looking at pictures#of old wooden caravans like the horse drawn ones and i wonder if i could combine that with the shape of an RV#i like the ones with a door at the rear bc it kinda lookslike a train caboose.. maybe he'd get someone to weld him a custom ride!!#idk how intricate and detailed i can design it without making it a pain in the ass to draw every time BUT i have a general idea#it would probably have a door on the side but idk if itd flip down to make a stage or upwards to make a roof?? and then theres a#curtain behind it where he would come out and do his show methinks.. ive been looking at pictures of camping vans on pinterest for ideas#i dont think he LIVES in the van since i mentioned his home is an old run down theatre when he isnt on the road. i wanna draw that too#but the RV should have enough for long travels like a bed and cabinets..? maybe a net hanging on the ceiling where all his props go#id like to think of ideas for a hometown.. toronto has a huge entertainment district so it would make sense for him to live there#although id also love to base parts of it from vancouver since id love to go back and visit </3#..would there be furth names for those places?? nyancouver... clawronto... whinnypeg (like a horse whinny)...#pawson creek.... purrlington... otterwa.. i love coming up with names lol#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sleight#laikas comet oc#fan character#fur#furry art
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like my spanish knowledge or lack thereof is rly funny coz i never learned it formally i just picked it up from a tv show i binged but my brain sectioned off a whole new corner just for spanish so i CAN switch to spanish like i would for other languages (in fact after the whole tv show debacle i spent days not being able to switch away from spanish mode and thus not understanding what ppl were saying coz my brain kept interpreting both english and hungarian as spanish and refused to process it any other way) but my vocab is like nonexistent so the grammar and the will is there but the knowledge is not. EXCEPT that the show was la casa de papel aka a show about bank robberies so most of the vocab i do know is related to that. so like i can say robber or hostage or gold or kill her or shut the fuck up but until i got here i didnt know how to like, say good evening
#im still shaky on the basics honestly but i can force my way through ordering food and most importantly slushies so it's fine#like my logic is i already know too many western euro languages so there's no real point in going into spanish even tho i#find it pretty easy coz of those ^ plus latin but idk. im already flying too close to the language sun methinks#i should just focus on becoming fluent in german again so i can get tf out of here#but there's like 4 languages i wanna learn rn which I'm kinda doing but only somewhat#if i just focused on one that'd be grand. but alas#whatever lowkey sorry point is i hate feeling like a toddler when trying to say anything but not knowing the words like omgg😭#barking#cdmxlb#languages
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"Transformation never ceased to blossom beyond the threat of permanent loss." - D.A.R.K., The Familiar v3
#mark z danielewski#the familiar#hol#house of leaves#dark#so to try and post frequently again I might abandon the whole book-page-and-formatting thing because that is kinda tiring to do#sometimes i just remember a quote i love from the bottom of my heart and then have to remember which book it is from#and find the exact page and then go to my computer to do the correct html hex code and dash and honestly this is not the purpose of the pag#i just wanna share quotes from my favorite writer that mean something to me#if you really like a quote and MUST ABSOLUTELY KNOW THE PAGE just ask and I can find it to you honestly ty and enjoy#only revolutions#the fifty year sword#the little blue kite
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how is your game dev going:O
hi hi! ^-^/ it's tedious time-consuming work but thinking about The OCs™ I lovingly made and people maybe liking them all one day is what drives me when i get lazy or wonder why im doing this fr.
honestly i always want to talk about em here, but there's a part of me that doesnt want to spoil too much or 'ruin' the surprise for others yknow?
i do have a gamedev account. i nvr shared it cuz i got shy, but for those that want little peeks and updates here and there youre free to follow -> @kendev
but overall there's been pretty good progress on art and writing. been trying to focus more-so on the writing for a good while though, it's hard when you get distracted easy and lack discipline </3 </3 </3 but its getting there!
better to try than not :] ty for the ask
#kenmail#honestly i havent posted much there in a long time. its mainly little doodles or textposts i think fit characters#with the occasional devlog or character sprite/color testing#the separate blog is bcuz idk how much constant updates and stuff would bug ppl here#like yeah i get it. its my account i can post whatever! but there are some excited abt the game who want to go in somewhat blind#so i was trying to consider that. like 'hm ok. ill just make an account dedicated to The Work and snippets' yknow#that way people have the choice to view it if they want. or even mute the blog i suppose.#besides i wanna make more games in the future!! i figure its best for general branding. keep all the games under one catalogue kinda(?)#like yay follow this account for xyz updates. u-u probably gonna have to be a name change in the future tho maybe?#unless i make a separate blog again 🤔 so many accounts tho it sounds like more work so who knows....
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🙃
#just want to apologize to anyone who has tried to reach out lately#just like I texted my friend I’ll tell you guys the same#haven’t been talking to a lot of people lately tbh#pretty sure I’ve mentioned php a few times by now#monday was my last day#and I was feeling on top of the world on Monday#I don’t remember the last time I was so genuinely happy#figured it was the med change or something#so I was feeling pretty optimistic#I’m in between programs now#and today was not the best#not as bad as some of my days#but definitely not even near the day I had on Monday#I just wish I could feel that every single day#I’m working on it but still#waiting to start ‘adult day treatment’ and case management#and I think case management will help me find a place??? I’m not sure exactly but that’s kinda what I was getting#which honestly? I know I’ve bitched about how badly I need to move#but while I was in php I realized I don’t think I’ll truly be able to heal while I’m living here… and that’s a scary thought#idk there’s a lot more deeper things that I don’t wanna talk about#but the fact I don’t have space and I don’t feel safe and comfortable here is hard….#my ‘safe’ space was my car but now that I’m trying to quit smoking my car isn’t the best place for me#I’ve been kinda getting used to my room and I’m finally trying to move a few things around#(now that I have a little energy again)#it’s just……. my arachnophobia is KILLING me here#in the past week I don’t even know how many spiders I’ve seen and killed#they haven’t been crazy and I recognize I don’t live in Australia or places where the spiders are as big as fucking cars#I came home and I was in a good mood until I saw a spider in my room 🙃🙃🙃 tried to vacuum it but not sure if I got it……..#so guess im sleeping on the couch….. again…. but can’t help think if out here is any better…#shut up rosie
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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...Not sure if I'll be active on here again, as my muse for Vivian just isn't all that present (to the point where she only ever really seems to come out to bug Hayate) and the tumblr RPC scene still absolutely exhausts me, I don't exactly feel like seeking out additional partners that would help stave off my boredom, but for the time being, you can find me here.
Honestly, I'm more motivated to write fics these days, as even though my works don't get that many kudos or comments, I'm at least writing stuff that makes me happy instead of trying to appease others and humiliating myself in the process for the smallest grain of attention, but in the event you reply to something like one of the open starters I have posted or a thread back in 2024 you haven't yet dropped on your end, I'll be sure to get to it eventually.
#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( OUT OF ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟.#[ not like it really matters since i don't have drafts to tend to atm ]#[ but yeah i honestly lack the desire to throw myself out there again just because i know the rpc IS very ship/smut inclined meaning they ]#[ likely would not bat an eye at a female muse that won't flirt with theirs or try to get with them romantically/sexually ]#[ which kinda hampers my desire to wanna be here ]#[ EVEN SO you can still continue to bug vivian because i'll keep queuing any replies i get ]#[ i just am taking a step back from making the first move due to how it's not good for my mental health if i keep doing ]#[ 95% of the initiating without ever expecting anything in return (which was basically what happened back in 2024) ]#[ so as of now i'll be focusing on fic writing rather than tumblr writing ]
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it's new year so i filled up a yume intro card template that cyl told me abt some time ago. overall, i think it's very useful and i was able to talk about certain aspects of my preferences when interacting with oc content. i updated my carrd to reflect this with a bit more detail too plus other additional things like oc boundaries.
song link - because i will never pass up a chance to hype up gin//tama, this song too is hibakanacore
if you read this, thank you for your understanding 🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️ and for your interest in my oc stuff too! if you have any questions or want to clarify something, please feel free to ask me about it! dw, i operate my brain operate on a good faith basis sjkdfjsd (thinking like this helps with my anxiety too)
#khre#khr oc#khr ocs#oc#einchart#ocxcanon#hibakana#tsunarumi#kinda want to see how the others would fill this up too#bc it's more reassuring to know e/o's boundaries etc#anyway i'll just update my carrd more as i go but honestly that's is all i can think of putting in there rn#coming back from a liiitttlllee bit of a flare up#and trying to be active but just a little#don't wanna be too complacent and then crash again lmao#snfdbdsfs i know my friends say its ok but i still lowkey feel bad when i take time to#reply to stuff djgjdbg#gonna be work time soon so i'll nap a bit b4 it 😴😴😴
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i'm normal now. lying also
#clai speaks#god. God.#a game hasnt made me feel despair like that since m/ther 3#i was so tense and horrified and just downright felt Awful through all of act 5. this RULED ITS SOOOOO SO SO GOOD!!!!! AAUGHHH#hehe. my favorite game is black and white and my second favorite game is in black and white#i think theres still a lot i need to look into. one of the posts i rbed mentioned a loop fight and uhhh What. Huh#i missed a lot in my game i think.... i had to look up walkthroughs a couple times and found out about things like--#--the ghost event or bad touch event. though tbh i'm very glad i didnt see bad touch event!!!!#but also i never managed to make the bomb i didnt open some rooms i couldnt sharpen the keyknife#so i'm wondering just how much i missed#i won't replay though i do wanna get through my backlog BJEVRJBFF#but just aughhh. isat. really really well done game. phenomenal showstopping spectacular#every single character is a delight!! everyone is so well fleshed out their interactions so good#siffrin..... man. i really saw a lot of myself in them a lot of things hit very close to home for me#god!!!! he loved his family so much he almost destroyed the world to keep them together!!!!!!! thats awful i love it!!!!!!!!!!!#i guess i will say a couple points of progression werent too clear. a couple times loop told me to do things i already did#and certain things you had to do in a specific order so i would just loop around pointlessly a couple times#but overall still very good i enjoyed myself a lot#if i ever play again. i gotta keep notes bc i Also have a terrible memory VJDVFJFB#i spent 10 loops trying to find the room with the craftology book it was EMBARRASSING#honestly. kinda adds to the experience does it not. just like siffrin i was forgetting things i should have known and--#--getting increasingly more exasperated with the constant looping for like One (1) thing i missed#really really Reeeeally good game. phenomenal game. please play it please play it please play it please play it
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genuinely always so shocked to see mirei hate. like literally god forbid women do anything.
#contra.txt#y5 haters in general... does playable haruka mean nothing to you...#DOES SHINADA TATSUO MEAN NOTHING TO YOU...#for legal reasons this is a joke people are allowed to feel however they want about whatever it's just viddy games#and i fully acknowledge y5 and its litany of flaws#of which there are certainly enough for any given individual to justifiably dislike/hate its entirety but I AM A Y5 LOVER THRU AND THRU#saejima's arc is just an arguably less interesting rehash of the one he had in 4?#(jail; jailbreak; betrayed by his lil buddy guy#but now we're sans the interesting character stuff of his feelings regarding the hit. & also i miss his hair.#& that's not even to say i think saejima is boring in y5 i think there's some interesting subtext to take away from his character#unique to this entry but it's pretty hard to deny how much is literally just y4 again but now he's bald)#BUT WHO GAFS he got buffed to hell gameplay-wise and punches bears now#and also baba's a great character and he doesn't have to do a whole chase minigame if a cop sees him anymore#bloated/unfocused feeling in general to the game?#WELL THAT'S JUST MORE CONTENT BABY!!! only a real issue if you're a completionist imo#+ are u telling me you don't wanna drive a taxi? u don't wanna play a video game in which the goal is to drive as normally as possible?#and i loveeeee multiple protagonists yay <3 y0 y4 and y5 are my favs so far lol (up to y6)#kiryu's inclusion in y5 also feels way more justified than in y4. he was so tacked on there i'm trying to remember what he even really did#other than tiger dropping as a boss fight before instantly forgetting how to tiger drop the second he became playable#and losing track of yasuko and getting tag-teamed by akiyama and tanimura (cough) and beating up daigo#but in exchange akiyama becomes the protag that feels kinda tacked on in y5. way less so than kiryu in y4 tho for sure#anyway. weird/strangely justified plot beats? WELL THAT'S JUST EVERY YAKUZA GAME#an arguably strange/poor writing choice for majima especially given how he ended up being written in y0?#well honestly other than the age thing i think it makes him more interesting... he's kinda fucked up!#but i do get why people are /really/ not a fan of it. ik i just said i think it makes him more interesting but if it gets retconned#or even just never mentioned again i wouldn't be surprised tbh#but additionally he's not even a major character in y5 so it feels like it's not really a significant complaint imo#anyway anyone can do this ('this' being acknowledging the flaws of a thing and then letting how much they otherwise enjoy#said thing determine how much they let said flaws influence their overall opinion) ...such is the beauty of subjectivity... i love you.#yakuza
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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0
i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3
#snap chats#SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3#ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i#moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since#BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point#if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of#'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like#like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling#the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly#which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word#like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation#so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor#i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj#yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested#like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out#i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH#but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god#i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was#tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch#and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ#coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror#i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant#if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review#OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do#so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl#god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj#anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading
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i feel like i should put a "please don't send donation requests they will be deleted" warning somewhere that isn't my about page cuz no one fucking looks at that but idk where it should go
#maybe i'll finally make a pinned post? idk i don't really wanna replace kaede#there isn't enough characters on the actual ask box though#and my bio is kinda overcrowded#and also i don't think people read that either#idk i'm just kinda tired of receiving them. i honestly don't believe most of them are real#and even if they are real i don't have anything to give#so i don't care for being guilt tripped about it#and frankly i don't think my followers have much to give either but i don't really know their stories#and again. i don't think most of them are real. i really really don't#i feel like a lot of them have the markings of a scam but people get super mad when you point that out lol#idk stop trying to use my blog as a platform for money i don't do that shit#marshy speaks
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god I wish it wasn’t functionally illegal in Missouri to transition as an adult bc I’d go on T immediately if it ever becomes legal again
#do I want actual top surgery? idk honestly. kinda do but also don’t#actually no I do want it. but if I could only transition with T and no top surgery then that would be ideal#also wanna change my name legally eventually but mom and sis would never let me in a million years#mom’s supportive but as soon as I try to do something legally like a name change or when I tried to go on T a few years ago#then she’s suddenly against it#I fucking HATE my deadname. I want it GONE#every time I see it written or hear someone use it I physically cringe#and it feels like an insult to me#like my deadname is a personalized slur that I never want to ever hear again
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ㅤㅤ" i'll take any presents you got to offer, but if you say 'merry christmas' to me, i'm breakin' your fuckin' leg. —an' none of that 'happy holidays' shit either, that'll be all the fingers on your dominant hand. "
#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ic status ⋮ fighting a fight i'll win anyway.#( open to mutuals. )#they're in a cheery mood today (:#i'm on for like. probs another hour or two while dinner cooks#then i'm hangin out w my mom bc it's just us again this year since we're a province away from the rest of our family#(tho honestly i'm kinda glad bc i don't really wanna see most of em anyway lmao)#BUT YEAH gonna try to get at least one more of these wintery prompts done before i switch to lurk mode for the night#so i set a stabby byan in ur hands and run away ♡
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think i lowkey re-closeted myself gender-wise recently. i need to get weirder and less fem
#i wanna be MASC i wanna be ANDROGYNOUS i want people to NOT INSTINCTUALLY SHE/HER ME#but honestly after seeing my gnc af coworkers get she/her’d that last ones kinda a pipe dream#i LIKE presenting fem but honestly i do think a lot of that has to do with me rly liking attention & getting more attention when more fem#also recloseted myself a little bit aro wise as well. tried to be allo again. still doesn’t work. not trying again again#three o clock speaks
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