#but while I was in php I realized I don’t think I’ll truly be able to heal while I’m living here… and that’s a scary thought

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[mikumanogi-blog]

2021-09-03 “The miracle across 4 years” Kubo Shiori blog [ENG]

Hello everyone, I’m Kubo Shiori.

September. If you realize it, you can see the small hints of autumn looking back at you. During this time, I’m still faintly searching for the remains of summer. Today, in the rain, a saw a cicada perched on the wall of an old building.

Dear everyone, that reminds me of summer, you don’t have to be in a rush to leave, I’ll find you so please take your time.

 September 3rd.

Wow, it’s already been 3 months since that live and yet I’ve constantly had regrets in my heart that I couldn’t leave anything behind. During that time, I’m thankful for being able to do many things that I wanted to do. Even though this time has been plentiful it has yet to fade, it’s still there within me, and so that’s what I want to write about today.

 May 9th 2021, the 3rd generation 9th year birthday live concert was held. The live concert was broadcast online, to everyone that watched it, thank you very much.

May 9th 2017, exactly 4 years previously, we 12 members of the 3rd generation held our very first 3rd generation solo live concert. Four years later we were able to make that dream come true once again as we performed that live concert as 12 members. I remember all the joy and emotions pouring out during the concert.

 On the day that we performed ‘3nin no Principle’. Once the performance was over, I suddenly heard a song that I’d never heard played before. From the moment they said, ‘this is your song’, I felt as though the 3rd generations finally started to move forward.

From that song that started it all to this live concert. At the beginning of ‘Sanbanme no Kaze’ once Momoko screams ‘let’s goo!’ we’re always able to hit our peak levels on energy.

On that day as well.

From there was the 3rd generation song medley which takes us down the path we have walked. In each song there are so many emotions and the words ‘preserving physical strength’ didn’t even cross my mind, they were so far away that I felt as though these words didn’t exist.

When I looked beside me during the MC everyone’s faces were red. Everyone’s hair was drenched in sweat. In that moment I covertly thought to myself, “the 3rd generation members, do we love each other too much?”

 The path that we followed at this live wasn’t just the 5 years we spent as a part of this group. It was Nogizaka’s history, their 10-year history. As we got on to that stage, we were bearing the weight and history of the ‘outfit’.

While wearing different outfits we danced the same song. Until the true final performance I couldn’t even begin to imagine what shape the concert would take, but I felt that somewhere a new door would open. To put my arms through the sleeves and be clad in the same outfit that the senior members wore and to stand upon that stage not once have I ever felt my nervousness wane. On this day I felt as though the tension increased several times more than usual. The song I was responsible for, the outfit.

I was lent Nanase’s outfit and danced ‘Inochi was Utsukushii’ as its center for the first time.

The same outfit I wore at the in-person meet and greet all those years ago, but in a different position. The strange thing was, I wasn’t intimidated. Inside of me this song, for 5 years, is a song I’ve studied in detail. I may still be inexperienced, but I think I was able to show off who I am now. More than anything, it’s the ‘first’ song we danced as 12 members of the 3rd generation. We have a strong connection to it. More than anything, I’m glad that we were able to perform this song at this live concert.

Memories of ‘the first time’ is something that will not fade easily.

5th YEAR BIRTHDAY LIVE

The ‘first’ time we stood on the same stage as the senior members. I remember that moment clearly. Since then, we stood on the same stage many time but the first time I feel is especially significant. Even though we were standing next to members of the same generation it didn’t feel that way. I remember that I couldn’t help but feel the fear and anxiety.

The outfit we wore that time was ‘Harujion ga Sakukoro’. While the senior members wore the outfit from the opening performance, we, 12 members of the 3rd generation, wore the outfit ‘Harujion ga Sakukoro’ and participated.

The same song in the same uniform.

‘Shiori Yuki ni Notte’ we performed at the same time the video was played. During the rehearsal the manager only said, ‘It makes me want to cry’. In the dressing room we watched the video, we cried.

Have the words ‘We won’t change.’ ‘We changed.’ always been this warm.

The manager said, “this song is perfect for your3rd generation members right now” as they chose the song. Hazuki and Renka played the guitar while we sang.

‘Boku Dake no Hikari’

Looking beside me, I could see everyone’s smiling faces as they sang. So much fun, so much fun, I though as I sang, looking again I saw everyone crying. The pleasure, joy, sadness, pain, tenderness, I love it. Why it was sad, I’m not sure. But in that moment, only the 12 of us I feel were able to obtain that light.

 When I say that I was more nervous for this live concert than I have ever been before it is not an exaggeration, but other generations also performed.

The junior members sang with love, the senior members sang with respect.

This is something that we’ve been looking for, challenged by. Truthfully speaking, there was also fear. ‘there’s no good reason we can’t do it’ is how it felt.

However, during those 5 years, spending time as a part of Nogizaka46, I thought about the meaning of the ‘mission of hope’ that we were given. There were 12 different ways of thing and each and every fan also has their own thinking. How many different ways are there to think about it. There is no answer but at the time I couldn’t help but think that ‘we’re all connected to Nogizaka46’

The feelings that blossomed inside me I felt pushed me to move forward. However, I was able to earnestly feel that all I could do was put my feelings of respect into whatever song I performed. The result was refreshing, and I was able to encounter new feelings. Challenges always bring about new emotions. I want to move forward without forgetting these feelings.

Over these 5 years, there has definitely been a lot of things that have changed and that haven’t changed. Separations, encounters, loses, and gains. All of them are irreplaceable emotions.

 However, one thing that has continued to exist. ‘Omoide First’ is a song dedicated to the love of all 12 members.

At that time all of the members said ‘let’s perform this one last’

I wonder why. Up until this point this song ‘is going to be the last time we perform it as 12 members isn’t it’, this is what I thought many times in that moment. Thinking about it now, it might be good to perform this song once and for all. In that moment I felt that emotion once again.

It was honestly a lot of fun; it was over in the blink of an eye but finally the reality that we were able to perform this song as 12 members makes me overcome with joy.

This was something I though a couple days after I heard that Momoko was graduating.

 I’m often asked, ‘when did you know’ if that’s the case I would probably answer ‘5 years ago’

Since that day I’ve had nothing but feelings of gratitude. Honestly, we probably would have become 11 members sooner. However, I’m thankful that we were able to spend 5 years together. Certainly, we were troubled many many times. Each time I couldn’t get close to you and all I could do was hope from the outside that you wouldn’t leave. I’m sorry.

Momoko, meeting Momoko, I’ve certainly changed. I can’t see through my tears, and so this is all I can convey.

I love you.

Tomorrow will be an important day for us, and all the fans that support us. September 4th. The day our fates were changed. I’m so thankful for coming here and meeting everything. Please let me bind these feelings carefully again tomorrow.

 I’ll write again

 Kubo Shiori

 As expected, tomorrow will surely come. On the day of the Fukuoka concert, I said the same thing. I’ve never once spoken the words ‘I hope tomorrow never comes.’ Only when I couldn’t sleep. Only when I couldn’t close my eyes is when I truly wished that tomorrow wouldn’t come. I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep tonight. However, it doesn’t matter who you are it’s the same for everyone, tomorrow will come.

 2021 September 4th.

A day without regrets. A day to convey the love to all my favorite people.

https://blog.nogizaka46.com/shiori.kubo/2021/09/062993.php

[mikumanogi-blog]

2017-05-04 “Avoiding the rails” Kubo Shiori Blog #12 [ENG]

The other day Riria asked if we could ride the train together and so together we waited on the train platform. The two of use waited for the train to come with a hat over our heads. The second the train came into the station our hats were magnificently whisked away by the wind. We both quickly ran after them, it’s a heartwarming and hilarious story. Be carful of the wind, and the flu. 

(TL Note: although serious in topic it is play on words as she uses both 風 (wind) and 風邪 (flu)both pronounced ‘kaze’)

Hello everyone, thank you for your continuous hard work! I am Nogizaka46’s 3rd generation member, 15 years old, 1st year high school student Kubo Shiori. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

I know this is kind sudden but thank you for coming to our April handshakes.

During the 3rd slot…I wore a little purple parka.

During the 4th slot…I wore a white shirt, red bandana, and an embroidered skirt.

During the 5th slot…I wore an off-the-shoulder shirt and an embroidered skirt.

It’s probably hard to imagine since you can’t see it and so…

It looked like this! As a result of the bandana showing in my blogs, there were a lot of people that wore it too (´･_･`) am I happy or... (´･_･`)

During the handshake event someone came up behind me, hugged me and asked “whooo is iiit♪” “huh? Huh?!?” I said in surprised, but I knew right away who it was. Manatsu san!!!!! For some reason I could by how Manatsu san smelled that it was her LMAO.

The fact that I wore an off-the-shoulder shirt our of respect to Manatsu is a secret. I’ve also grown a teeny bit since becoming a high schooler.

During the event I talked about a bunch of different topics with the fans but I feel like one of the topics I heard the most and made me the happiest was “I read your magazine article!” It made me even made me happy to hear people say, “the contents of the magazine where you got the opportunity to talk with the senior members was fascinating!”

Next week is Nagoya! I have the national handshake and the individual handshake back-to-back! I’m very much looking forward to it, I’ll be in your care.

That’s right! During the handshake the topic of NOGIBINGO also come up a lot! A few days a new episode of NOGIBINGO aired, did you watch it?? On this episode I also appeared in NOGIROOM, if you haven’t checked it out yet please do〜! The cheerleader cosplay was embarrassing (´･_･`) Way more than when I was an actual cheerleader… maybe I’m just getting old.

 Well then, I think it’s time to start the comment Q&A!

·         What’s a special skill that you’ve discovered recently?

A special skill…On Namadol san (Namaidol) I put pens under my nose for the first time in a while and I managed do get 11! I beat my previous record. The trick is concentration.

·         I find it hard to make friends when in a new environment.

I’m the same way…I don’t like spring that much, I’m always afraid of the class changes. When I first started cheerleading, I tried to overcome my fear of strangers and in the process make new friends, but in the end nothing changed. I did find some joy in being by myself, but it would have been nice to have at least one person to talk to! Let’s both do our best!

·         What’s your morning routine?

Going back to sleep. Although I think the correct answer to your question is “HISSSSS!” recently I’ve been careful to not fall back to sleep after waking up.

·         What something that you want to eat the most?

Whaaaat (´･_･`) I want eat everything… (´･_･`) yogurt, ice cream, gratin, pizza, white rice, bracken-starch dumplings, tarts, curry, gyozas, cheesecake, acai bowl, hamburger, strawberry smoothies, udon, dandan noodles, miso soup with tofu, beef bowl, nori bento, squid tempura, Takoyaki, monja, doughnuts, fried chicken skewers, pizza bun. Mmmm I want to eat all of them, I don’t think I can make a decision between them. (´･_･`)

Recently、。、。、 After reporting to Ayachan (Ayatii) “I ate ___ today! It was delichious” shocked she would respond “You ate that much!?” I have an insatiable appetite. I wonder why food makes me this happy.

 Today I’m going to end the Q&A here! Until next time!

 Right now all the 3rd generation members are putting all their effort into their lessons as we approach our solo live. Each lesson we learn more as we start to reach for the stars.

There was a time where I was just hitting a wall and I couldn’t seem to overcome it. It was days of thinking “how can I overcome this hurdle.” But somewhere along the way I realized I never even hit a wall, but rather I was standing in front of it. Out of fear of hitting the wall my feet had stopped. I wanted to run away from the problems I was having. I couldn’t dance well and I had so many feelings of impatience and anxiety. I’m such a truly spineless human. It was during that time that the other members and everyone else came along and renewed my feelings of positivity.

When facing the mirror during dance practice I would see the enjoyment the other members were having and once every so often our eyes would meet and in that moment I could feel their warmth. Those moments would make me realize “The only reason I’ve come this far is because of everyone’s support”.

Riria, who roughly ties her hair to move her bangs has recently become someone I can rely on.

Renka, who never whines to the other members and who is always showing off her biggest smile.

Minamin, who always thinks the same way, more reliable than anyone else and who is able to unify us.

Momochan, who is always saying “I can’t do it” but who works as hard as two people and who is always watching out for everyone.

Tamami, who always smiles at me when our dance styles are similar, who’s always beside me and listens to my problems.

Denchan, who has an inherent ability to entertain makes everyone smile when everyone’s feeling down.

Reno, who’s spontaneous comments seem to calm down the room and who is often supporting from the side.

Hazuki, who just by being there makes you feel calm but who also works so hard that it troubles other people.

Mizuki, who looks about to cry every time our eyes meet and who is my favorite, but I will never tell her directly.

Ayatii, who, is like a big sister, will always come over and comfort another member if they’re crying.

Yodachan, who says “I’m bad at dancing” but manages to make me smile while watching her cute dance moves.

I can honestly write so much more, but if I write more, it will get long and so I wrote a shorter version.

These 12 members, who are overflowing with individuality, will be performing in all 8 concerts from June 5th to June 14th.

I’m going to keep going. Everyone, what do you think the concert is going to be like? It would be great if you could think it is going to be fun.

Everyone, it is sure to surprise you. This concert is going to dare to raise the bar! The venue is AiiA 2.5 Theater Tokyo. I believe that performing at this venue is deeply significant to us. Until that day comes I’ll be standing right here once again on that stage. I’ll be doing my best, so please, definitely, come watch.

Well then moving on. To everyone. I would like to say that I’m very thankful for all the cheers of encouragement at the handshake events, the comments on these blogs and not only that but thank you for all the advice that you have given me.

Thanks to all your word of encouragement I feel as though I can once again aim for the stars. To shine as brightly as I can, I think “I would be grateful if you were to cheer me on at the concert.” On top of that it might be a start of you becoming slightly interested in the 3rd generation member Kubo Shiori. Rather than “you might” I’ll have to do my best to make it “you will.”

Make it…ah, I want to eat food.

Haaazukichaaaan. Recently I’ve been eating as much as her. Haaaazukichaaaaaan. I love youuuu.

Denchaaaan! Believe it or not this our first two-person selfie. I asked her for it! Without a doubt Denchan is the queen of the dressing room. I would be amazing if I could hurry up and show off to everyone how funny she is.

Anyways, there are also the upcoming handshakes, I’m looking forward to them (´･_･`)! I’ll be in your care.

I’ll write again soon.

Kubo Shiori

I’m going to do my best at the concert. I’ll do my best even for the people that can’t make it. It’s been a while since the meet and greet where I declared that “I will change”. Have I changed? Please come and make that decision for yourselves, not even I know the answer. It would be great if you could come and check. This is not my final form, this only the start and the first evolution will be seen at our solo concert. One more thing, I will change.

https://blog.nogizaka46.com/third/2017/05/038447.php