#kind of lost my talent for it tbh

[ihatesocialmedia45]

Realized I Never Posted My Ashley/ Homelander fic!!

Smutty bad fiction, Ashley is a reader insert. You know the drill

Chapter 1

Ashley walked up the marble steps of Vought Corporation, heels clicking loudly as she swept open the door, eyes harried. The sound was supposed to be reassuring - a reminder of her status as CEO of the largest business in the world, her therapist had said. Something something, lean in to the girl-boss narrative. She'd believed it when he'd said it, but now, as she bounded for the rapidly closing elevator, the sound of her heels turning staccato in her ears, she couldn't be so sure. $800 a fucking month, she thought scornfully, and I'm still ripping my hair out, 6 months later.

She shoved her way into the crowded elevator, ignoring Adam's grimace as she jammed her elbow into his side to make room. She'd heard him say something, ("Why didn't you text me back? Did I... do something?"), but she could only flap her hand at him, dismissing his words even as he said them. Serves him right, she thought, eyes trained on the slit in the doors, watching the car move higher within the building. I can't stand needy subs.

As the elevator reached her floor, she stepped briskly out, shoving his hand away as he reached for her blazer- a smart, royal blue piece that she'd used to craft a monochromatic look today - and beelined for the bathrooms, her heartbeat thrumming in her chest. She ducked into the nearest stall, locking the door behind her with a trembling hand, and gingerly deposited her purse on the hook before smoothly turning, and kneeling, to vomit into the toilet. The bile scorched her throat on the way out, hot tears springing to her tear ducts and rolling down her cheeks, and she gagged as the surge of filth poured out of her. Her stomach gave one, two, three great, final heaves, before her body stilled its horrible dance, gasping as she gripped the sides of the bowl.

She was having a meeting with Homelander today, the thought flashed in her mind, and she lurched again - but luckily, she'd emptied her stomach on the first round, and so nothing but a sour hiccup of air burst past her lips this time. A tear slid down her cheek and plinked! atop the puddle of spew she'd left, the sound echoing in the stall. Shakily, she rose to her feet and flushed the toilet, watching the mess swirl down the drain.  Donning her purse and popping a mint into her mouth, she swung the door open, to be greeted by Ashley, her brow furrowed in concern. "Are you alright?" she asked, stepping forward to place a hand on Ashley's arm. Ashley jerked away. 

"Don't you have a Sweet Green order to fuck up?" Ashley spat, eyes still shiny from her stint in the stall. The other Ashley blanched, and dropped her head - and Ashley felt a surge of satisfaction, dark and sweet, curl around her insides.  The assistant squeaked, and made for the door, but Ashley snapped her fingers instead, stopping her retreat. "No, no, no. Come over here." she walked to the bathroom mirror, the smaller Ashley in tow, placing her directly in its center, and loomed behind her. 

"I want you to tell me what you see," she instructed, her tone clipped. The diminutive Ashley looked up at her senior, but Ashley gripped her chin between her pointer finger and her thumb, keeping her trained on her reflection.

"Umm...I see me. And.. you?" she answered haltingly, her breath hiccupping when Ashley slapped her hand down on the counter. 

"No," Ashley replied, shaking her head. "You see a superior, and her subordinate. You see a scared little nobody, and the bitch who haunts her nightmares." Ashley lowered her grip, her palm resting on the assistant's pulse point, biting back a groan when she felt it kick into overdrive beneath her. She leaned in slightly, her voice dropped to a dangerous whisper.

"Do you know how easily I could replace you?" she breathed into the shell of her ear, her hair blowing gently in the breeze she created.

"Yes, Ashley," she whimpered, her body trembling like she might come apart.

"You're very lucky to be my assistant, aren't you, Ashley?"  she murmured, lips brushing her earlobe.

"Yes, Ashley," the assistant whispered, her eyes screwing shut. Ashley smirked.

"Then say it."

A beat passed, and then came her earnest reply: "I'm very lucky to be your assistant, Ashley."

Ashley gave a satisfied "hm", and tucked the girl's hair behind her ear. "You're a good girl, Ashley," she said, walking to the door. 

"And don't forget that brief we have later this week, okay?" she called behind her as she left, other Vought personnel catching the tail end of her conversation and smiling. She gave a genuine smile in return at the look of shock on the other Ashley's face, before letting the door close behind her.

You're a good girl, Ashley.

The words echoed in her mind as she made her way to the meeting room, nails pressing crescent moons into her palms - only this time, it was Homelander's voice that rang in her ears. She thought back to when he'd said it, after ordering her to compile a list of employees - her coworkers, she thought, paling - to be murdered by the end of day. She'd said it to Ashley in the same tone he'd used: earnestly, intimately, his baritone drawl making her cheeks flush. He'd said it in front of the whole filming crew, in public - and even as the humiliation coursed through her at the belittling term, she'd bitten the inside of her cheek as he'd walked away, pulse hammering in her neck. He'd called her a good girl. He'd said she was good.

Since she'd started working for Vought, the enigmatic blond had haunted her days like a specter, the mere whisper of his displeasure akin to being dunked into ice water. In her early days with the company, he'd been a charming young man, sweet, even, holding open doors for her, and once, even flying all the way to the bottom of Vought Tower to retrieve a bangle she'd dropped out of the window. Things took a definitive turn, she surmised, around the time Madelynn Stillwell took over as his mentor; after that, he'd grown colder, sharper - darker, like a jagged rock rising out of the sea. Like the glacier that sunk the Titanic, more like, she thought. Sweat dotted her hairline.

She finally reached the door, leaving a sweaty imprint of her handprint on the knob as she turned it, before settling into her seat. Homelander wasn't here yet; she'd come early, too terrified of the idea of him lying in wait for her to risk being late. She shuffled the papers in her manila folder, shifting in her chair, and tried to calm her breathing. This was routine; before any meeting with Homelander, she'd take 20 to 30 minutes to center herself as best she could, controlling her breathing, slowing her heart rate, keeping her hands in her lap instead of at her scalp, where the follicles had long since grown weak from abuse. There was no way she could present herself as someone who wasn't afraid of Homelander; too many times had he caught her teary-eyed and pale with terror to sell that lie. But at least with her meager preparations, she'd come across as almost neutral. 

She eyed the papers next to her, and redoubled her efforts to steady herself. They were headshots, possible candidates to replace Annika; the smiling faces beamed at her, and a low, rotten pang of guilt made her shut her eyes, and flip the folder face down. Once upon a time, Annika had been one of those faces, chipper and excited to work with heroes. She was only 26 - the age of Ashley's younger sister. The thought made her give a quiet whimper.

Just 26 years old, and he'd lasered her in the head, put her down like a fucking animal. 

At once, the image leapt to the forefront of her mind, Annika giving her reluctant answer - and then the bright red beam, burrowing through her skull until it came out the other side, singing the wall behind her. Ashley had the couch removed after that, convinced she could still smell the sharp note of burning flesh every time she entered the room.

The sound of the doorknob turning yanked her out of her bleak reverie, placing her firmly back into the present moment; she clenched her hands into fists underneath the table as the door swung open and Homelander strolled in, his eyes crinkled good naturedly, though too tight to be genuine. His cape fluttered behind him as he entered the room, the thud of his boots resounding in her ears, and he took his place at the other side of the table, putting his feet up on the glass. 

"Morning, Ashley," he said, putting her on edge. Homelander was never in this good a mood around her. Their meetings were usually terse and clipped - he barked orders, and demanded answers, and she provided them, on shaking, bended knee. He certainly never took the time to exchange pleasantries with the likes of her; she thought she even remembered him calling her a "mudperson"... whatever that was, to Sage once. His apparent brightness only served to make her wonder with dread what he could be planning.

"So. We're looking at replacements for Anna," he said, putting his hands behind his head, getting comfortable. "Hit me."

"Annika," Ashley replied, before she could stop herself. Homelander quirked a brow. "What?" he asked, tone suddenly sharp.

"Nothing!" she breathed, opening the folder and fanning the papers out on the table.

"We have Francine Delaware, she has a Masters in Communications with a focus on Media. And Tyler Rivera, he's been an assistant for Google and Disney-"

"So neither of them wanted him?" Homelander interjected. Ashley paled.

"You're right. He's useless!" she gasped, tearing his headshot to shreds and sending it flying into the trashcan. "Very astute, Sir." Homelander rolled his eyes and sighed.

"We also have Andre Perkins - he's currently working in the Treasury, but we could get him switched to cover Annika, no problem." Homelander nodded vaguely, waving his hand in dismissal, and Ashley felt a rare tendril of anger snap in her gut. He was the one who had called this meeting - had it been left to her, this would have been an email, and finished in 30 minutes. Why, then, put up such a fight to get anything done? He wouldn't even look at her, instead focusing his gaze a few inches to the left of her, or at the ceiling. He shuffled through the headshots, categorizing them into groups.

But what did it really matter, she thought morosely, watching him sift through the faces with a detached air. It wouldn't matter what whoever was picked had accomplished prior to working for Vought. Everything before Vought was rendered worthless the moment they signed their name on the dotted line - and everything after would prevent them from leaving, no matter how badly they wanted to. Vought has a 0% turnout rate! Ashley remembered her mother telling her excitedly over the phone. You can't lose with those odds! Her heart seized. She'd missed one of the last moments she'd ever have with her mother to rush to her first day as Madelynn's assistant.

"Am I boring you?" Homelander asked tersely, and Ashley started. He'd been speaking, she realized with horror; in her her reflection, she'd forgotten just how much of her undivided attention he required.

"No, Sir!' she replied. He gave a displeased noise.

"Then what did I just say?"

Terror trilled through her as she racked her brain for anything he could have said in the past five seconds, only to come up blank. Head thrown down, she squeezed her eyes shut and put forth an air of supplication.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I'm so sorry. I'm stupid, I have no attention span - I'm a complete fucking idiot!" she hissed, the words flying out of her like shrapnel from a tornado. He opened his mouth, before closing it in consideration, and cocked his head, inhaling deeply as though scenting the air.

"Are you?" he questioned. She nodded emphatically.

Homelander rose to his feet, slowly making his way to her, smoothly closing the distance between them till his chest nearly brushed hers. She could smell the faint, iron tang of blood on his suit, and bit back a gag. He was too germophobic and Type A to ever go one day without washing the thing - the blood was fresh, then. What atrocities could he have committed before 9 in the fucking morning? Ashley despaired.

"Then say it."

Ashley opened her mouth to speak, but Homelander placed a gloved finger to her lips, shushing her. Slowly dragging his finger down, he pointed to the floor, his eyes dark and glittering. Inside her mind, Ashley heard the clap of thunder ring in her ears as his gaze met hers.

"I want you... to get on all fours, and say it." he said, chin jutted out. Ashley froze, her mind fracturing under the weight of his stare. Lips slightly parted, she looked up at him, face beginning to bloom rose. "Sir?" she faltered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

Ashley shook her head, murmuring an apology, before slowly sinking to the floor, the whisper of her pantsuit loud in the room as she knelt for the second time that day. She was grateful that, at least, her hair formed a curtain around her eyes that blocked Homelander's gaze as he looked down at her. She'd worn this suit - and every outfit she'd picked for their meetings - because he'd once said that he liked the shade of blue on her. "Makes you look... like porcelain," he'd said. She could tell herself that it was merely a survival tactic - he wouldn't kill you in an outfit that he thought you looked pretty in, she thought frantically as she picked it out - but in the darkest corners of mind lied another truth: She'd wanted to look good for him. To catch his eye.

"Good girl," he said, and Ashley's breath caught in her throat, her knees locking. Homelander chuckled. "I heard you bullying your assistant in the bathroom earlier," he continued. Ashley jerked her head up, aghast, an explanation on her lips - only for Homelander to place the sole of his boot on the crown of her head. At once, she stilled. She'd seen him crush a man to pulp in the same way once; her stomach churned as she held her rigid position, eyes aimed at the floor. Homelander gently directed her head to follow, bringing her back into position.

"So mean," he teased, giving a mock pout. "There's just something about Ashleys, though, huh?" He knelt to her eye level, brushing the hair from her face to look at her fully. Ice blue eyes met brown, and he smiled at her, the tips of his canines gleaming. "Makes you wanna punish."

"I'd never seen you like that before. So... in control." He said it with a degree of disgust, and the answering shame sat high on her cheeks. "It was like... watching a dog stand on its hind legs. It wasn't natural." his tone, though light, almost conversational, brought a chill up her spine. He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger.

"The Ashley I know... isn't mean. She doesn't talk back, certainly doesn't talk down..."  and, as if matters couldn't get any worse, he reached for the back of her blazer, and dog walked her to the full length mirror at the end of the room.

"What was it you'd said to that poor girl?" Homelander pretended to ponder. "Ah, that's right."

" 'I want you... to tell me what you see.' What you'd told me you were, a few minutes ago."

Ashley looked up into the mirror; her face was flushed, pupils blown wide, to her chagrin - and through the silky material of her blazer, she caught the proud imprint of her swollen nipple, pressing desperately against the fabric. Forcing out a sharp exhale, she gazed into her own eyes, watching as they filled with tears.

"I see a fucking idiot, Sir." she breathed. Homelander purred.

"Well, that's not very nice, Ashley", he chided. "It's true, but... aren't you forgetting something else?" She looked back at him. He wrenched her head back to the mirror.

Kneeling again, he looked at her as though she were bacteria under a microscope. He ran his fingers through her hair, leaning in to sniff, and she shivered, though his grip on her chin prevented her from moving too far. 

"You're also... a good girl," he said, patting her on the head. There it was again, that damned phrase, the one she'd echoed in her mind as she touched herself till the wee hours of the morning, the refrain making her sick with pleasure as she rode her own fingers.

She nodded jerkily. "Thank you, Sir," the words spilled from her lips unbidden, and Homelander barked out a laugh.

"And so well-mannered, too!" he marveled. The smile danced across his face for a split second, then vanished as he trained his cold gaze onto her once more.

"Say it."

The weight of his gaze bared down on her, like the weight of his fucking boot had bared down on her head. She squeezed her eyes shut, the shame roaring through her - and pulsating, alluring and revolting all at once, within her core. 

"I'm... I'm a good girl."

Homelander nodded, satisfied, before standing again, and walking her back to the center of the room. She'd stumbled, his pace too fast, and so he'd picked her up entirely, like a kitten being scruffed, and deposited her back down on the floor.

This fucking company... Ashley thought, her cheeks muddled and hot as Homelander circled her kneeling form. He stopped twice in his observation of her; once, to drag a booted foot slowly, deliberately, up and down the wet patch on her panties - and again, in front of her, the heat of his gaze boring a hole in her skull. She gulped, and made to look up. He clicked his tongue, and pressed his foot onto her hand, before returning to his position.

"No, Ashley. You know better. Head down," he said, voice tinged with mirth. He tapped his foot, twice, redirecting her gaze.

"Clean your filth... off my boot," Homelander purred, voice pitched low. Ashley's jaw dropped, and she focused with all her might to keep her now wide-eyed gaze trained to the floor. He lifted his boot toward her lips, the glisten of her wetness catching the light.

"Come on. Chop, chop. And don't look so put out. There wouldn't be so much to clean if you didn't like this."

Eyebrows raised to her hairline, but not daring to raise her head again, she stuttered out her dissent, teeth chattering in her haste.

"B-but, Sir! I-"

Homelander raised the boot closer; she could smell her own arousal now, mingled with the deep rich scent of leather, and bit her lip. What would work be like, going forward, if she did this? What would happen, if she didn't?

It was clear that he would not tell her again -  and so, eyes shut, she craned her neck forward, and licked a slow stripe up his boot, the squeak of the leather lighting her face up with shame. He brought his hand to her hair, guiding her movements so as to ensure she'd cleaned every drop, the gesture sending a torrent of heat through her body - and when she'd cleaned to his liking, only then did he raise her head, angling it back, and meeting her feverish gaze with a cold smile.

"Let me help you wash that down," he cooed, and delivered a long rivulet of saliva into her open mouth, the feeling of it sliding down her throat making her clench. Homelander's eyes darkened - he could smell her on the air.

"Swallow."

Ashley swallowed, the uncanny sensation of saliva cooled by the frigid office air making her shudder.

"For the record," Homelander added, as though he'd just considered it, "This isn't about you bullying Ashley. Serves her right for being bulliable." 

"This is about you, Ashley," Homelander murmured; he held her face in his hands, the leather of his gloves catching on her skin. She smelled blood again - whether it was from him, or from the hole she'd worn into her lip, she couldn't be sure.

"You're not a girl boss. You're not a superior. You... are not the nightmare. You are the scared little nobody." And with that, he scooped her up once again, and brought her gently to the meeting room table, bending her over, placing a hand in her hair. The gentleness of his actions was making her sick, every little kitten-soft touch only served to belie the gruesome strength that lurked beneath his every move. 

"You are not... in charge... of anything... or anybody. You are the same Ashley in a board meeting that you are right now. Before me, before everyone, you are but the wing of moth. Nothing more."

He lifted her by the hair, so she could see the picture they created in the mirror; he was holding her, by the hair, by the throat, his body connected to hers at every point - his hips bracketing her ass, his chest pressed into her back -and he smiled, leaning in to stare up at her through his lashes. 

"Is that clear?"

[beautysamour]

sub miguel begging to cum after edging him? or any kind of sub miguel tbh.. please please PLEASE i need it for my health 😭🙏

edging miguel o’hara and having him beg ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨

— a/n: i got a little carried away…

warnings ﾟ𐦍༘⋆: vulgar language, miguel has the time of his life, quite literally fucking him stupid, miguel likes when you make him feel stupid while he’s needy

“Please, amor, just put them back in…” Miguel lifts his hips up trying to entice you to put your skillful fingers back in his ass.

His hole clenches and unclenches as he bucks his hips and tugs against the handcuffs restraining him from reaching out to you. You raise a brow, his attempt is futile.

“Amor,” he pleads, “I was so close—“

You made an obnoxious sound as you stretch your arms, Miguel’ heartbeat drums loudly in his ears. You remain in front of him, back straight and eyes on his dick, “Having you cum would defeat the entire purpose, right hermoso?”

A throaty groan leaves his throat at the nickname. He hides his face in the bicep of his left arm and pathetically bucks his hips trying to give you an easy way to his ass.

You snicker, it was always so satisfying to watch Miguel break in the palm of your hands. People looked up to him, figuratively and literally. Some admired, and some feared. Most were just intimidated, but never you, no.

How could you when all it took to have him withering underneath you was a finger?

His entire body jerks as you circle the head of his cock, “Miguel,” you purr. He bites down on his lip, drawing blood, at the way your voice circled through his head like a sirens song—tempting and dangerous.

He gasps at the taste of his own blood.

“Wanna see you Miguel.” You draw small hearts on his tip as your other hands rubs his hole, “You’re so pretty baby, don’t hide yourself.” You press a kiss on the insides of his thighs and a feeling a pride surges through you when you hear another part of him crumble underneath your hands.

The tip of your finger easily makes it way inside of his hole, a heart wrenching moan is heard by the man who owns it.

Your panty gets stickier with each moan, and whine, and whimper your man makes.

He bucks his hips when you don’t go further than just the tip of your finger. He’s dizzy, so, so, dizzy. He’s not sure how long it’s been, he lost track after the fourth time you took your, to his demise, talented fingers out of his ass and off his dick. He wants to cry but he won’t—it’s the last thing keeping his dignity somewhat intact even though you’ve destroyed most of it.

It was the one thing he would not give you the satisfaction of having. He tries to keep that thought clear in his mind but it’s hard when you circle your tongue around his pretty, red tip.

“Y/N—“

He bucks his hips towards you as you shove your entire finger along with a second one into his ass. He loses the ability to breathe as your fingers find his prostate immediately, “Is it good?”

You smirk as the back of his head flops onto the pillows, his face exposed for you to watch.

Yes. Yes it was, it’s always good because it’s coming from you. But he couldn’t say it—your voice swirls through his head and it renders him helpless. All thoughts in his head are about you—all he sees is you, feels is you, and hears is you.

All he can say is your name, and he moans it out for you to hear.

Your heart skips a beat and it’s tempo matches the pulsing of your pussy. “That’s good to know, hermoso.”

If all his thoughts corrupting into you and his lack of breathing made him feel helpless—it was nothing compared to now.

You carefully watch his expression as he pretty cock stands up straight, the tip so beautifully red, and his hips sporadically bucking up as you abuse his prostate.

You rub, and poke, and thrust your fingers in and out of his ass—your eyes darken with lust as you watch his face, you shove your hand down your panty and start to finger yourself— fuck, Miguel knew what to do.

Miguel arches his back, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you play with his prostate. He felt stupid, he had no thoughts in his mind but you—only you and all that was coming out of his mouth was your name as his ass chased your fingers every time you nearly pulled them out.

Mierda, you were so good. So good, it feels so good, so good, so good, so good, so good. His eyes crossed as you quickened your pace and dragged him closer to the edge, his ab muscles start to contract and—fuck, just a little more, just a little—

You started to laugh. Laughed at the way his mouth hung open, at the way his eyes crossed and rolled to the back, and at the way tears welled in his eyes.

This was so fun.

And gods did he sound beautiful as he begun to wept.

Miguel couldn’t remember what he was supposed to be thinking about. Everything before this moment was gone from his mind—his own name foreign to him. It hurt, his body was burning and his dick was so painfully yearning for your touch that he might never be graced with, and he wanted to cry.

He felt a part of his soul shatter as his tears wet the pillow beneath him.

He chokes on his sobs. He tries to reach out to you as you start to pull your fingers out of his ass, but his handcuffs restrain him and more tears escape him, “No puedo más, no puedo más, no puedo más,” he cries, voice coarse.

He nearly full on sobs when all you do is hum. He looked wrecked, his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat and eyes unfocused as he deals with the damage of not being able to cum again.

He pants and rolls his hips as you hum a sweet tune to him, caressing him everywhere except the place he wanted you to touch.

“Yeah?”

He sobs, “M—mhm.”

His hips buck up when you wrap your hand around the base of his dick, you push his hips down with your other hand to stop him from being greedy but it doesn’t stop the twitching of his body.

He chokes on his saliva when you take his tip into your mouth, and suck. You run your tongue all over his tip, going back and forth between kitten licks and circling around it.

Every few seconds, you’d drag your teeth around his sensitive tip as your hands went to his balls—Miguel felt like he was going to pass out.

You take your hands and mouth off his dick in one sudden movement, he whimpers and sobs as you deny him of heaven once more.

He got to the edge a lot quicker than you thought he would’ve, and if you were a second too late, he would’ve came.

That sensitive, huh.

You thrust to fingers into his mouth as he opened them to complain, “Miguel,” you purr and he looks at you like a wounded puppy as he softly sucked your fingers. “Do you want to cum?”

You pretend to ignore that fact that you put him in the situation, that he desperately wanted to because of how much you played with him.

He nods, moaning your name softly around your fingers as proof.

You smile, enjoying how sweet he was being. It almost made you want to let him cum right at this moment, but he wasn’t desperate enough. You’ve successfully broken his pride, you’ve made him cry and give up all the power he could’ve had over you, but he hadn’t realized something you wanted him to know and accept.

Something that would really prove he is yours.

You move away from his body, enjoying the way his head follows you like a lost puppy, and sit down on the pillow next to his head. You spread your legs pulling your panty to one side, quietly gasping as the fresh air hits your warm, wet pussy.

You tap your pussy, “Come here.”

Miguel looks up at his handcuffed hands then back to you, his eyes stupidly asking you how he’ll be able to move. You raise a brow making him feel more stupid.

You take note of the way his dick twitches and his mouth slightly opens

He tries to use his pussy filled brain to figure out how to get up, he rolls to his side and tumbles onto his front. His eyes roll to the back of his head as the smell of your pussy reach his nose.

He lifts his ass in the air, allowing him to push himself onto his knees and he crawls. He crawls until he’s in front of you and drops himself right in front of your pussy—you grab onto his hair as his warm breath hits your pussy rendering the cold air useless.

“Good boy,” you whisper. You whimper as his mouth fully wraps around your clit—“Fuck, Miguel!”

You laugh as you moan with how good he was moving his tongue, “You’re doing so good,” you praise as you start petting his hair. Miguel chokes against your pussy but doesn’t pull away.

Your head hits the headboard as nudges his nose into your pussy. You tug on Miguel’ hair—pulling him closer—as you groan in unison with him, the vibrations making your mouth drop open.

“Ye—yeah, right there Miguel, right there—!”

He grinds the sheets hoping that he’ll be able to catch up with you— “Amor,” he mumbles into your pussy, “Can—can I—?”

“Yes,” you moan, “Yeah, you can. Good boy, my good—good boy.”

Miguel stops moving his tongue and opens his mouth a little more when you squeeze your thighs around his head, he wanted to swallow every last drip of your cum. You tug his hair and he closes his eyes as you reach your peak.

You let out a string of curses as your vision goes white, Miguel may have no coherent thoughts right now, but he definitely remembered how to fuck you.

You shakily grind against him as you finish cumming in his mouth. His tongue is stagnant and you ride it through your orgasm. The moment is almost perfect until you realize Miguel is crying against your pussy.

You immediately snap out of your pleasured daze, genuine worry taking over your lust. You tug on his hair, lifting his face away from your pussy, and you try to ignore that feeling in your stomach when you see his beautiful, fucked out face with tears running down the sides of it.

However your worry diminishes when you look past his face and see how he’s still grinding against your shared bed.

Oh.

“Miguel,” you say softly, filled with love and care, “How do you feel?”

He looks up at you,“Can’t,” he mumbles.

You tilt your head to the side, “Come here.” You reach down to his upper body area and wrap your arms around his chest like a hug. You lightly pull him towards you and he crawls his way into your lap burying his face into the side of your neck, you reach for the keys for his handcuffs and unlock them. His hands and arms immediately go around your torso as he nuzzles his head against your neck.

“What do you mean “can’t” hermoso?”

He bucks his hips showing you the obvious problem, “Can’t cum.”

Oh.

You feigned ignorance, “What do you mean?”

He cries against your neck, he was too frustrated, too on edge.

He couldn’t cum. Not without you.

“I—I can’t cum. No—not without feeling you.”

There it is. The realization.

Your silence prompted him to continue, “It’s not the same, no—nothing feels as good as you—nothing can compare. Not ever since I met you, amor. Nothing is—!”

Miguel moans against your neck as he came in your hand. He twitches, and bucks his hips as his cock pumps out loads and loads of cum over your hand and lap. You look down, not that surprised at what happened.

All it took for him to cum was a simple pump from your hand. But you couldn’t care less about the mess.

What mattered was that he was really yours.

[mintaikk]

Why Blitzø Likes Stolas

I've made jokes about Blitzø liking Stolas bcuz his type is tall, rich, powerful demons with musical talent, and that's probably kinda true, but I wanna talk about the real reasons Blitzø likes Stolas. Tldr at the end.

I think one of the major reasons Blitzø likes Stolas is how kind, sincere, and affectionate he is. Stolas is always making sure he is okay and is very passionate about litterally everything he does (dramatic little bitch, lol). And while he's ignorant ("my impish little plaything"???), he does mean well. Taking Octavia to Looloo Land to make her feel better, Going full demon mode to save IMP, his attentiveness to Blitzø during his mental breakdown in Seeing Stars, him absolutely adoring Octavia, him helping Ozzie when he gained no real benefit, etc, etc.

Also, expanding more on the affectionate part, Blitzø is shown to not get much affection or love in his life at all. His family situation was a giant mess (his dad literally sold him for 5 bucks and a condom Jesus Christ-), and Stolas is a very loving and affectionate person. Obviously, this is shown with Blitzø, but also with Octavia ('my precious little starfire', always staying patient with Via, even if he can be a bit dismissive, going full demon mode when Blitzø said he lost Via), and even his plants (he raised the flesh-eating plant since he was a kid, he pets the plant, on his insta he called a puprle rose "a handsome little rose"). And yeah, he's going to be affectione with Via, that's his daughter, but in Hell, (or maybe just from Blitzø's perspective, it'a hard to tell honestly) that's shown to be a rarity. So obviously, he's going to admire that about him.

And also, compare that to Blitzø's life. His dad saw him as less than, something happened that made his sister hate him, his mom seemed to be a good parent, but she's dead, his best friend and former crush hated his guts for 15 years, his daughter does care about him but she also mostly just shows anger and annoyance with him, and even Moxxie, who'd I'd argue is his best friend, gets annoyed with him constantly (I would too tbh but this isn't about that). Stolas just being his loving and affectionate self and being so happy to see him and always being so sweet to Blitzø is like a breath of fresh air to him.

Another thing is that Stolas shows clear interest in the things he likes. Take horses as example, bcuz we all know Blitzø is obsessed with them. Most of the time, his friends are pretty passive about it, but Stolas actually indulges him. Some of this is from their instas, but Stolas got him a horse Hoodie, he draws horses with him, and Stolas even got inspired to draw because of Blitzø.

(Also, plz note that in another post he commented that it smells like Stolas, and I want everyone to appreciate how happy he looks in this photo while smelling it again)

Blitzø probably admires Stolas's theatrics as well because despite growing up in a Circus where you were supposed to be dramatic and showy, he was still always taught to ignore or hide his true emotions (Cash ignoring that he didn't want to go to the Goetia Palace because "MONEY"). And while Stolas was raised the same way, he still wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve and is always showing them, whether it be positive or negative

And we all know thst Blitzø has major self hatred issues, but Stolas was genuinely interested in Blitzø as a person. Laughing at his jokes, asking how his day went, and with all of this, you can't help but wonder if Blitzø was figuring out that he did too. I think that's why he was so heartbroken about Ozzie's. Because to him, Stolas hiding his face was just proof that Stolas didn't care. That he was just a little plaything. But, Blitzø liked that Stolas liked him for who he was, and that he didn't have to pretend to be someone different.

Yes, ik Blitzø wasn't here for some of them, and he thinks that Stolas is just faking all of this. BUT, Blitzø can notice things subconsciously, and the stuff that Blitzø wasn't there for was to talk about Stolas's character as well. That's why I wanted to talk about this, to talk about what Blitzø sees in Stolas and his character.

Feel free to add anything if you want! I'd love to hear your guy's opinions, takes, and thoughts on the ship. I'm probably gonna a make a post on why Stolas likes Blitzø at some point, lol

Tldr; Blitzø likes Stolas because he's kind, sincere, loving, affectionate, passionate, caring, dramatic, and likes Blitzø for who he is.

[unfunnyaceartist]

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Well I’m gonna just go off of ones I FREQUENTLY interact with buuuut

IM SO SO SORRY FOR ALL THE TAGS

@gummy-axolotl:

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! Gummy is a sweetie and a silly and I love and appreciate them beyond words.

@darken-hollow:

he’s a silly gooberrrrr! Always trying to check in on me

@possibly-astraeus:

this dude is on all of the drugs/pos always being so silly and chaotic

@pinkpkmntrainer:

stalker #1 /aff /silly WHERE DO YOU KEEP COMING FROM???

@cube-was-here:

I- I just- COOL PERSON 💥💥💥💥 so so so silly and lovely

@andy-aka-lilcsca:

Lurker. Very silly and talented 😍 I don’t interact very much tbh unfortunately cuz I’m shy

@izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin:

silly stalker #2 I swear- but they’re actually like so lovely

@bunnybunnsowo:

ARE YOU OKAY??? /pos /silly LITERALLY CHAOS INCARNATE BUT OH SO SWEET AND SILLY

@tailsbot98761:

y’all I think this dude is in love with me 😧 /silly LITERALLY THE GOOBER OF ALL TIME

@lilithloves-you:

I swear to the lord you are so sweet like babe are you [insert amazing person] themself???

@glitchyk:

WIFE!!!! I COULD GO ON AND ON!!! She’s SO SWEET AND CUTE AND KIND AND CARING AND SILLY AND AFFECTIONATE AND I LOVE HER also stalker #3

@rabid-mercenary16:

OTHER WIFE!!!!!!! She is SO FUCKING COOL AND SWEET AND FUNNY AND SILLY AND GOOFY AND TALENTED AND PRETTY AND I LOVE HER AND KAY SO MUCH

@thatloserkade:

contrary to their username, they are NOT a loser. SO TALENTED SO SILLY SO CHAOTIC SO SWEET AND LOVELY

@chaos-ace:

name twin and stalker #4 the silly of all time. Bro is LURKING ISTFG

@moshieee:

WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN SWEET?! IM GONNA GET CAVITIES FROM YOUR SWEETNESS RAGH

@dia-smthidk:

Bro is so talented and cool and funny and ndksnfjsnfb djdjjdjdjskdn TALK TO ME MORE PLEASE

@anxiouschoco:

I’m going to eat your art and animations OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM I LOVE YOU SILLY

@iguessimfished:

literally just like me fr fr we Are Long lost twins AND I REFUSE TO HEAR OTHERWISE YOU TALENTED SILLY GOOBER

@bredrawz:

IM SORRY I HAD TO ADD YOU!!! SHE IS LITERALLY JUST LIKE MEEEE SHE US SO SKILLED AND TALENTED AND HDJSBFHKNSHDNDND SHE IS SO SWEET AND OUR DMS MAKE ME SO HAPPY

@gooblenoodle:

another one of my long lost twins 👯‍♀️ LITERALLY SO DAMN SILLY AND SWEET AND IM GOING TO CONSUME THEIR ART ALL GONE YUM YUM YUM

I Love my moots so much. The ones I didn’t list i still very much appreciate and love to death but we don’t interact all that often really and so I don’t know a lot about them IM SORRY POOKIES I LOVE YOU

[melverie]

Aaahhh, thank you so much for the tag @king-a-queen!! 💚💚

15 Questions Tag Game

01 - Are you named after anyone?

First name: nope Second name: yep, after my grandma

02 - When was the last time you cried?

About a week ago bc I was laughing too hard Also techinically this morning. My eyes just started tearing up a bit while I was still in bed & staring against the wall. I guess that white wall was just tugging at my heartstrings

03 - Do you have kids?

The only children I have are my OCs <3 My current beloved OCs are Aym, Marchosias (💖💖💖💖💖), and Baal; all for Obey Me

04 - What sports do you play/have you played?

So as a kid, I took MSE (self-defense) classes, I did ballet for a short while, and I played badminton. But now I'm not really doing much sports anymore. I'm occasionally working out in a sad attempt to stay healthy but that's...not working out all that well because I keep forgetting about it lol. That being said, I walk anywhere as long as it's a walkable distance away (to me, that's around 90min max), idc it's the European mindset. Der Fußbus hält überall :)

05 - Do you use sarcasm?

As if I would ever smh what are these accusations

06 - What is the first thing you notice about people?

When I pass strangers on the street, I try to look for little moments that bring them joy. That being said, 90% of the time I'm just lost in my own thoughts & have completely tunnel vision, so imagine noticing anything 😭 When I first meet people tho, it's usually the way they look at you, which tbh is a little ironic because I sometimes just cannot look people in the eyes NFDHSKGJHKSDLGS

07 - What's your eye color?

They used to be blue, but now they're more of a greyish green with a few brown spots in them

08 - Scary movies or happy endings?

Okay endings, actually! Where characters don't get the happy ending they were hoping for, and some things are still a little messy, but all in all things are okay and they finally get to breath again. Though I guess that's kind of a happy ending? lol

09 - Any talents?

My newest talent is being able to imitate the cry of an owl. My sister explained it to me earlier & once I got it to work I've been doing it non-stop until I got lightheaded 😭 Worth it tho Other than that, being able to teach myself the basics of a lot of things within a day (one of the upsides of ADHD), as well as abandoning a lot of my projects after a while because I suddenly decided to start a completely different one (one of the downsides of ADHD) I also have a real talent for writing angst. Ask any of my closer mutuals, I keep terrorizing them with my ideas (love you guys 💖) And finally: telling myself that I'll go to sleep early & then it's 5am

10 - Where were you born?

in Germanyyy fun fact: I was born more or less close to a town that has a store called 'Mephisto' lol

11 - What are your hobbies?

being insane, obviously 💚 some of my mutuals can surely attest to that lol No, but in general I enjoy writing & drawing, as well as, uhm. Randomly deciding to take up multiple really time-consuming projects, such as the OM card rec thing I did that I still need to update ahhhh, my Obey Me OC & MC ask game that originally had 200+ questions before I cut it in half out of fear of it being too long, half of my side blogs, and SOOOO many other things. <- or in short, being insane 💚 I also really love cooking & baking! Side note, if anyone wants an easy chocolate lava cake recipe, you just need to ask... 👀 Also lately it's just been romancing Thanatos in Hades because I randomly remembered that I hadn't done that yet

12 - Do you have any pets?

I used to have clownfish and a starfish, but other than that I've never had any myself. I love the dogs I dogsit with all my heart tho, and there is this cat that I sometimes meet on my way to work. She always runs up to me when she sees me and won't stop meowing until I start petting her, and last time she climbed onto my lap (I sat down in the middle of the sidewalk, I did not care lmao), she's literally the sweetest 😭😭 I also ring the doorbell for her whenever it rains so she doesn't have to stay outside lol

13 - How tall are you?

1,68m or 5'6 if I got the conversion correct lol

14 - Favourite subject in school?

Heavily depended on the teacher, but generally art class because we usually got to work on whatever we wanted with and listen to music. Also English in 9th grade, math in 10th and German in 11th because the teachers were great

15 - Dream job?

I've been thinking of translations in general/software localizition for a while now. I just love dissecting all the small differences between languages (D.D.D.s being called 'D3' my beloved), + there are so many invisble choices made when translating. You'll always lose something because every language has its little quirks and a different mindset that can't be translated directly, but you'll also gain something that the original version didn't have. It's an art form in itself, and I really love that <3 The other job that keeps popping into my mind is event mangement. I already get to organize a ton of things for my uni since I'm part of the student council for one of my two majors. It's exhausting, but also really rewarding when you have people come up to you afterwards to tell you how much fun they had!

No pressure tags for a bunch of people, hehe >:) @alpine-forget-me-nots @healersadjust @misc-magic @sweetbrier2908 @reblogs-are-the-love @shootingstarrfish @mjoria @too-much-gacha @layphie @katboykirby @ghostlyyraccoon @lost-in-lamentation @bagofwetmice @glamphantasm @wizardthesai @mellonyheart @arlatthan as well as anyone else that wants to join!

[omghallucinations]

ateez mingi: time to ruin my life :)

my og impression of mingi's chart stands. can this kid. catch. a motherfucking bREAK?? holy shit bro. it was bad enough when i just knew about the fixed grand cross (with saturn and uranus and mars in there dude like, please, malefic your way to the door). but... 8TH HOUSE SUN??? GIRL???? 8TH HOUSE VIRGO VENUS SQUARE 12TH HOUSE PLUTO??? HONEY??? BABE???? BRO??????? i mean, sun and moon at home is very cute and he does have many positive placements and aspects (that 1st house neptune is cute for example) and all the squares are actually pretty positive long term imo but like, the baggage is so heavy.

god. my heart goes out to u mingi. i mean bright side he is a very compelling combination of talented magnetic and troubled, so. tender-hearted bad boy core?

fixed grand cross: my way or the highway we aren't going ANYWHERE

tbh i genuinely love a square. that aspect supplies energy. nothing gets done without a "hard aspect"--like if you were comfortable, why would you work to improve or change things? howmstever. there can be. too many squares. squares, like saturn, tend to really trade in Fear and Anxiety, and with saturn in mingi's Super Strong Square Factory... Anxiety. Very A Lot Anxiety. oohhhh mingi, honey, are u okay, i love you.

so mingi has a textbook grand fixed cross--see how that square goes all the way around? that's the "grand" in the grand cross. intense influx of energy but like... in fixed signs we're struggling.

we've got...

aquarius uranus "manic pixie dream girl" (14.45º) in the 2nd house

scorpio mars "she's cute but a psycho" (15.40º) in the 11th house

leo sun "ME! by taylor swift" (16.17º) in the 8th house

taurus saturn "have i done enough work to go home???" (16.48º) in the 5th house

(u know how those degrees are all very close? mingi's grand cross is not a "kind of" cross. people usually give a big orb to oppositions and squares, so lots of people might have this aspect kind of, but mingi, no. it's a strong ass cross. the biggest orb is 2º, and most of the other ones are less than 1º. cannot overestimate how important this cross is to his life)

as fixed signs, aquarius, scorpio, leo and taurus all think they're right in a major way and they are not willing to listen and learn, babe. a cardinal sign square or grand cross is very "i will turn this car around." a mutable grand cross is full ass lost. meanwhile fixed signs are stalled out at a random intersection bc they all want to go in different directions and they will not compromise. they're just sat there giving each other the silent treatment, for hours.

mingi feels really stuck sometimes. the fire is blazing away, but the walls are staying put. it creates a fixed idea of how things are, a relentless energy that can eat itself. terrified of losing security. strength becomes an identity. he can get super pissy bc who wouldn't be if they were stuck in all that? he's both 100% always sure he is right about everything and staggeringly aware of the multiplicity of life and that no one knows what truth is, since a grand cross has one of each element so the energy is split.

scorpio mars in the 11th his personal energy/drive to survive if u will 1) takes no prisoners and 2) gets supercharged in public spaces (11th house) like groups and friendships, but also with his goals and ideals.

there's an intellectual vibe to the 11th--it's associated with aquarius--so mingi probably has the ability to remove his emotions in certain situations in order to focus on his goals and making decisions and the bigger picture

(thinking about hongjoong prank telling them he was leaving and mingi immediately like, am i the leader now, while yunho is crying in the bathroom, that's scorpio mars in the 11th)

he's not unemotional--he has a cancer moon dude--but he does have the ability to compartmentalize and kind of be like, ah my intellectual toughness, u wouldn't understand,,

(until his emotions bust out of the cage and they're doing not fine)

mars in the 11th detaches itself a bit to survive--stows the emotions away for later so mingi can make hard decisions

the 11th house is ruled by mars, so that's a strong partnership and an amplifier

you can say co-ruled too, and if we run with that the other ruler is pluto in sagittarius in the 12th house--so he might be driven to act by his deep hidden sensitivity, nebulous guilt feelings or need for meaning. also his deep conviction he is right lol.

leo sun in the 8th well the sun is at home in leo, he can really shine and flourish in his identity with her--unless there are mitigating factors, it comes naturally to take the spotlight as a leo sun. and then uh, we add the 8th house! a strong goth scorpio flavor!

his #journey/search (sag rising) is about his identity (leo sun) and he's gotta do deep transformation (8th house) and um... he has to face some demons. hey demons it's me, ya boy energy

with the 8th house he's really gonna have to look at his own behaviors and choices and how he asserts his ego and like... figure out what's up with all that, psychologically

he has karmic stuff x 1000 with his many 4th, 8th and 12th house placements, so mingi is really sensitive to stuff--his ego (leo) will feel attacked whenever some unconscious possibly past life-y sore spot gets touched, and it's pretty unpredictable

(just between us bros, the 99z have insane and often touchy past life karmic connections so it's not surprising he's primed to be activated by a lot of different things)

the 8th house is ruled by the sun, who lives there, so the whole house gets a boost

the sun is in the jupiter decan, which is the middle part of leo basically, and that connects nicely to his sag rising--expansive, searching, tendency to run away??

(our first two planets in the square are personal/inner planets--they're energy that mingi produces in his personality easily. more outer planets tend to influence inner planets rather than vice versa (like mingi's saturn is working on his sun, his sun doesn't work on his saturn) so the way the squares and oppositions interact are gonna come in here.)

saturn in the 5th something in mingi's childhood felt suuuuper restrictive, like he had to be on guard all the time--home, school, society, whatever--and probably very focused on everything being practical and realistic and grounded (which a leo sun would hate, they live for the Drama).

it restricted his identity in a major way (saturn square leo sun)--that shit makes him self conscious as hell, he'll be fully Himself and vibing one minute and then the next he's like UGHHHHH whYYY am i too MUCH! and beat himself up over it

the 5th house is also the leo house which really doubles the sun-saturn connection--there's a certain amount of enforced practicality and possibly judgment in the way mingi expresses himself that is more learned than part of his personality

the 5th house is ruled by mingi's virgo venus in the 8th, which underscores that judgement quality. he's probably learned to be harsh on himself and others and value the appearance of things, the utility of things, the status quo, which conflicts super a lot with his aquarius uranus--he's learned to be critical to protect himself, but it sux also.

square 2nd house aquarius uranus--problems with authority!! sexy. hot. i am telling on myself too much with that lmao. point being: can't tell him shit. also he also feels lacking a lot--like he doesn't have enough to offer people or enough resources/ability to support what we wants to accomplish creatively or even what "authority people" will let him accomplish maybe? but this makes him want to work even harder--still there's a lingering inferiority feeling that bothers him a lot

opposite scorpio mars in the 11th--conform or be himself? go with the status quo or break free from the norm?? stay put and be safe or completely throw it off and transform himself? fight to the death for his ideals or keep it casual and restrained? big questions!! he probably bounces back and forth between these 2 extremes and it might startle the people around him lmao. one minute he is a rebel without a cause the next minute he wants to conform so bad (for safety). confusing!!

(just let him bounce between the extremes lmao, listen no one is gonna be able to help him find balance here he has to do it himself. this man is so stubborn it's insane. if you tell mingi not to do something he will almost always immediately do it)

aquarius uranus in the 2nd loves to dismantle the system, and the 2nd house is your resources. yeah money is part of it, but it's all resources. mingi might want to like, blow everything up and start over, on some level, but also he clings onto his resources (possessions, people, ideas) for fear of losing them. his values are different from conventional values and he is naturally rebellious against the status quo. also he probably wants to be super self-reliant, so he doesn't ask for help much!!

his resources might fluctuate really intensely over his life--yes, money, but also personal and professional support, personal energy reserves, mental health, all that

he's very aware that he's a unique guy, and he values that difference--the manic pixie weirdo planet is part of his resources as well as affecting them

square scorpio mars in the 11th... 😏 ok it's not actually like super sexy of a placement inherently it's just hot to me, ok!! absolute tons of energy, courage, drive, ability to make tough choices other people usually can't but the energy is super unpredictable and you, again, cannot tell him what to do

there is.... also with the opposition to 8th house.... a lot of sexual energy. and um. creativity? and sensuality? ha ha. anyway. also he may be accident prone.

aquarius is co-ruled by uranus and saturn--uranus is at home and in the mercury decan, which makes communication really important--also very changeable. he might unexpectedly open up and spill all his secrets one day and then clam the hell up the next. and saturn is really getting in uranus's business, huh. it also just continues to bold the influence of his square, since it connects these two again. mingi really feels the burden of Society and the expectations to conform

opposite leo sun his ego and identity is destined for some real intense self-development and transformation, baby!!! the 8th house is already transformation and uranus is gonna supercharge it

also this gives very "bed rot schedule" to me, like uranus opposite the sun is now u see me, now u don't. i think mingi probably needs periodic times to be completely alone in order to like... process all of the stuff he's learned about himself

his uranus is retrograde, which speeds up the urgency--uranus always wants to break free (.mp3) and individuate but with a retrograde uranus that impulse is much stronger. if mingi doesn't figure out who he is apart from societal standards, uranus is gonna force it on him somehow.

uranus conjunct south node--past life stuff babe. he might have subconscious past life situations that fuel a fear of rejection--whatever makes him try to suppress his difference and conform for safety purposes. fear of being shunned kind of thing. it's hard for him to like, fully commit to being himself.

oooh girl, virgo venus in the 8th house square pluto in the 12th 👀

mingi... 100% compatibility with toxic relationships. honey. babe. oh, it's BAD. 😭 he really puts up with shit he should not. he 1000% is like "i love passion" when him and his partner fight constantly about everything and they both cry all the time and then they kiss in the rain one time and mingi's like, u wouldn't understand, this is true love.

like. virgo and venus are not compatible. and then his venus is retrograde. this can be fine. my venus is retrograde. sometimes it's not a big deal it just means things take a while in this part of life. but with everything else going on here... GIRL.

venus retrograde--he's kind of destined to get things wrong for a while before things go right. also life really wants him to figure out his alternative lifestyle (whatever that is) lmao

virgo venus-- well she is... practical??? realistic??? very acts of service???? but um. mingi gets in his own way a lot. he is very Anxiety and nitpicks himself and others out of fear. u know "perfect is the enemy of the good"? that was written for virgo because wow does she need to hear it. mingi cannot relax. he is constantly freaking out and in crisis. (babe!!! 🥺) and crisis is kind of virgo's whole ... thing....

venus in the mercury decan -- ... anxiety. sorry buddy. also he really needs to communicate with his partner and with people in general.

venus in the 8th house--oh mingi wants to like, swap vials of blood on the first date. jk. unless...? i mean he needs a very intense feeling of commitment. mingi is insanely loyal and he expects his partner or partners to be too.

8th house and 12th house both love like. karma. transformation. black holes in the spiritual body. complexes and prophecies or something. occult shit.

8th house 😍 power and death and masochism as a treat 12th house😍 disappearing into an alternate dimension

u know??

with pluto in the 12th, mingi has some real escapist tendencies. maybe he should be careful about like... substances??? especially with neptune in his 1st house??? ha ha??? anyway.

pluto in the 12th means that the Spirit Vibes of humanity plugged into the mingi outlet and now he's downloading all these files that aren't his. um. was that too insane of a simile? i mean pluto in the 12th can really give you the Depression and the Weight of Human Suffering

on some level mingi might feel Responsible for all sorts of shit that's not on him, and he's gonna have to find Higher Meaning in life in a major way in order to feel fulfilled (as a sag rising too)

but pluto square venus.. well. potential for butterfly meme "is this toxic relationship the meaning i've been searching for?"

bright side!!!! both pluto and venus are also chatting to jupiter, mingi's chart ruler.

pluto quincunx jupiter is like an intrusive thought lmao. mingi's kind of harsh pluto disagrees with his cute 4th house jupiter, they're in constant conflict. his idealism basically and his optimism don't agree with his Vague Feelings of Terror and Guilt.

however he can harness the Power of pluto to intensify his I'm Right (philosophically) energy (not necessarily a pro ha hahaha)

taurus jupiter is on a constant, slow and steady quest for meaning and knowledge and she's gonna gain more and more over mingi's lifetime--all this niggling past life stuff harshes his mellow but also agrees that it really wants him to find meaning and dismantle said past life stuff

jupiter is strongly trine venus, so they are loving each other. this is very cute and adorable. people really like mingi! he's fun and enthusiastic! shit often pays off for him! there is a kernel of optimism in his heart that never dies!

since jupiter is his chart ruler, i think when people meet mingi they might experience both of these--like being strongly endeared by him, and also sensing kind of a darkness or a lostness in him too.

lilith conjunct ascendant

mingi is very alluring to people (sex appeal off the charts) but he fears they may Only Want Him for His Body, u know what i mean. he very easily uses his sexual magnetism and sometimes thinks it is like,.. his only weapon i guess? but he also fears that's all people want from him. he may go cold on people randomly bc of this. however he's suuuuper magnetic and charismatic, people probably get jealous of him easily and also often read him wrong.

lilith in sagittarius--he can be really reckless and not see how much he is fully running wild and making his loved ones worry sometimes

lilith in the 1st house, in general-- his moods REALLY affect the people around him and he doesn't realise this. i also have this placement and the other day i was cranky and i was like, huh wait are my terrible vibes really exuding out of me accidentally because i had recently thought about lilith in the 1st house and then i realized that i fully was exuding bad vibes so hard that everyone around me couldn't help but feel weird and i could tell they felt weird! i truly did not know that this was happening i thought i was just Keeping To Myself. this is something mingi does too. he can either fill the room with Happy Positive Energy or he can make everyone go like ... ooooh uh-oh. trainee mingi? i think a lilith in the 1st gives some amount of scorpio rising energy. you'll retreat from people and self-isolate and then maybe blame others for that too.

cancer moon in the 7th house

ok i did a write-up of all of ateez cancer moons already but i wanna connect that here bc of mingi's aforementioned relationship issues--he has a 7th house moon so he really feels the need to connect with others and have that reflected back. adorably, yunho also has a 7th house moon, stop that's so cute aughhhh.

man. what a chart and i didn't even get into his 29 degree cancer mercury or his chiron conjunct juno in the 11th house!!!

mingi... hats off to you bud. that's a lot going on. however, again, tons of potential here bc his chart is forcing him to deal with his shit, yay! does it feel good in the moment? absolutely not!!! but end result wisdom and strength so idk??? man this is a heavy load though. mingi has to do a lot of karmic untangling. bright side he really is so magnetic and compelling and has a ton of ability??

my heart hurts!!! i love him!! i gotta GO!!!

[magpie-trove]

August Reads

Cress & Winter • Marissa Meyer | it was Trying Times and for some reason Lunar Chronicles is one of my go to escapes and comforts turns out. I really wanted to reread Cress but got sucked in and had to do Winter too. Still as good as the first time. Deeply near and dear to my heart.

The Talented Mrs Mandelbaum • Margalit Fox | new non fiction about a Victorian crime boss lady and her band of thieves and fencers. Short and to the point. Interesting. Wouldn’t say it was one of my favorites of the year but it was worth reading.

Your Vote Matters • Rebecca Katzman | childrens non fiction about the electoral process. Made sense and had a real nice layout and pictures!!!!. (Not a picture book it was like 80 pages or something? But yeah I like it!)

Howl’s Moving Castle • Diana Wynne Jones | was just rereading all my faves for a bit there. Still a 12/10 book.

Yours from the Tower • Sally Nicholls | new YA epistolary fiction set in the 1890’s. Surprised me! Actually had a little nuance! Was very good about the characters. Important to me cause it made me understand how people work in certain situations better than I had before. I think I cried sad and I know I happy cried a little towards the end. I do recommend.

Sonnets from the Portuguese • Elizabeth Barrett Browning | still a favorite

Voices in the Air • Naomi Shihab Nye | the Emily poem!!!!! I think I loved Everything Comes Next more, a lot of these poems got more specifically political and idk it takes away their power a bit to me? But it still had plenty of bangers

Wheels of Change • Sue Macy | YA non fiction about the role of the bicycle in the suffragette movement. Interesting topic, real nice layout, lots of good primary sources. It had a reprint of a lot of pretty funny things women were advised not to do while riding, including “do not say Feel my muscle” and “do not ask Do you like my bloomers?”

The Castle of Llyr • Lloyd Alexander | follow up to The Black Cauldron. Beloved. He writes at such a good level and manages to keep the Nobility to the story.

Kilmeny of the Orchard • LM Montgomery | I actually didn’t like this one that much? Kinda hinged on some racist stereotypes and was mean about adoptees and the romance felt kind of condescending. Idk I wasn’t really impressed.

Saintly Women of Modern Times • Joan Carroll Cruz | Learned so many cool stories!!! I did also discover though at times you need examples as encouragement and at times examples might get a little discouraging. The women highlighted were all unique and interesting though!

Mapmakers and the Lost Magic • Amanda Castillo and Cameron Chittock | children’s graphic. Nice art interesting premise and world building. I’d probably read the next one.

Uniformity with God’s Will • Alphonsus Linguori | very good

A Wish in the Dark • Christina Soontornvat | HELLO!!! Childrens fiction with the premise Les Miserables but in Thailand. LOVED IT. SHOOK. I CRIED. BEAUTIFUL. I loooved the characters looooved the words, it was sooooo goooood!!!!!!!!! Made me want to do something nothing else has ever succeeded in (read Les Miserable). Do recommend!

The Lucky Poor • Mazie Lovie | adult graphic memoir about getting a house through Habitat for Humanity and unexpected drawbacks or something? Nothing really struck me about it tbh

Sisters of the Lost Marsh • Lucy Strange | the VIIIIIIBES VIIIIBES FOR DAAYYYYS. Middle Grade fantasy based on English folklore and circus, about six sisters who’s father says they’re under a curse. Beautifully done. This one will haunt me. Do recommend.

Romanov • Nadine Brandes | YA historical fantasy. had its moments but I kinda wanted the fantasy out of it at times though it wasn’t as jarring as some other stuff in that regard. It was a nice walk in the park and then the most nightmarish thing I’d read then just kind of ok. Not bad at all but not my most favorite. I just wanted to read about Anastasia tbh. I think (?) it had a pretty good illustration of forgiveness at one point though that made it make sense to me in a new way.

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Hello! I have finally stopped crying about Friday night long enough to come tell you guys about it! Also kind of a face reveal I guess? I wasn't planning on posting pictures of myself ever on Tumblr but, um, I met some of Powerwolf, so I'm telling literally everyone who will listen about it. If you'd like to read all about the most amazing night of my life it's below the cut cause my god am I going to ramble and there's going to be a lot of pictures. Posting Update coming later now that I can finally get back to work ❤️

*cracks knuckles* now, I had to take the full day yesterday to literally sit on my floor with my friends to recount that night in as much detail as possible. Every thing I tell you has been fact checked and reviewed by 3 other people lol. I literally can't even believe the night I had, I still think I'm dreaming tbh.

So, as you may or may not know, Powerwolf is literally my favorite band ever. I missed their first US tour so I was determined to get my ass to this show and have the greatest time, also I'm not going to turn down a chance to see Falk Maria Schlegel in person, it ain't gunna happen chief. I got tickets for my friends and I, we made a whole day of it, we got our nails done and met up the morning of and had breakfast and did face masks and all got ready together, it was wonderful, I'm so glad we made the decision to do that because of my god my NERVES that morning. We ended up getting to the venue around 3, which meant we had to stand in line for 4 hours but it was definitely worth the sacrifice. We were about 10 people from the front by the time we lined up. When we got there, none other than Roel VanHelden was hanging out around their tour bus, taking pictures and just talking with a small group of people. He was so nice when we went down to meet him, my friends and I were all dressed up for the occasion and he looked at us and went "wow, you all look incredible!" I think my soul left my body. I told him he was my favorite drummer ever and I'm so excited to finally be able to see him live and he looked so genuinely flattered. I got a picture with him that's at the bottom.

A little while later I look down the sidewalk and happen to notice Charles doing the same thing. He was also super sweet and super funny. I, for some reason, was so much more nervous meeting him than I was meeting Roel so I just kind of ran up said hi took my picture said thank you and ran away, but he was very sweet when he was talking with my friends. ALSO HES SO DAMN HANDSOME WITH HIS GLASSES ON I AM SUCH A CHARLES GIRL AFTER FRIDAY NOW BUT WELL GET MORE INTO WHY LATER!!! Sorry lost my cool, picture with him is also below

We get inside, we get all the way up to the left side of the stage at the barrier, I'm directly in front of Falk and Matthew the entire concert. Unleash The Archers was incredible, I unfortunately only know their song Soulbound, but they're amazing if you're into women fronted power metal bands, I highly recommend them. The entirety of the concert itself was incredible, everyone is so talented and it was so amazing, just for the music I would go back again and again.

But, my god, do those men LOVE interacting with the crowd. I'm gunna go member by member, we made a bullet list lol. We ended up getting notices by every single member of Powerwolf multiple times, like I seriously still can't believe it, it doesn't feel real, but it happened and I have 3 other people telling me it happened so I guess I have to trust them lol.

Roel we unfortunately didn't get to see much obviously because he's at his kit, but after the show was over he came over and gave my friend a drum cover that was signed by the entire band, we have agreed that one day a month I come over we pull it out (until it gets framed), smoke a bowl, and just look at it for a little while together because that's how we're going to share joint custody of it lol. Seeing him play live was also just unreal.

Attila carries such a presence on stage it's actually fucking insane. How easily that man can command an entire room is scary. I don't know if I have the video, I might have to get it from someone else still. But there was one point we were singing along with Attila and he came over and sang directly to my friend and I and reached out for us and we both screamed. He acknowledged us a couple other times throughout the show.

We were on the opposite side of the stage from Charles but him and Matthew switch sides pretty much during every song so he was over pretty frequently. The first time he came over he immediately recognized my little group, he pointed right at me and smiled, I personally think he noticed how I loosened up a lot since almost passing out earlier lol. But he would be constantly coming over and singing along with us, there was also one point I noticed he accidentally bumped into Attila and he just looked at him and blew him a kiss and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. CHARLES ALSO THREW ME ONE OF HIS ARM BANDS!!!! When he came over after final bows, he threw a couple pics, I missed literally all of them because I have zero depth perception and despite the fact I was wearing 5" platforms I was still stupidly short lol, he noticed proceeds to pull off one of the ones he had on, came right to the edge of the stage and tossed it to me and he got so smiley when I screamed back thank you, he has such a nice smile omfg it's not fair. But he was incredible.

We were right in front of Matthew, we definitely spent the most time with him, he was also in love with us. They played Sinners of The Seven Seas, which is a personal favorite song of mine, so I was absolutely losing my shit, screaming every word, and after they finished each song he would acknowledge the whole crowd and give thumbs up and all that, and then he looks at me, I shit you not my knees almost have out from just now direct this eye contact was the first time, he goes "wow" and gives me a thumbs up and a really impressed look, so of course I got all flustered which made him laugh. He would acknowledge me after pretty much every song, doing kind of the same thing, motioning to the whole crowd and then motioning directly to me, it became a joke, we would both laugh whenever he did it. At one point I made a heart at him and he got the brightest smile and also seemed so genuinely flattered, they all did, every one of them just seemed so touched and happy that all of us loved them so much it was super sweet. But, anyways, back to Matthew. He sang along with us a lot too and was just genuinely so fun to watch, he's such a talented guitarist, I got to see him play the most. He also threw me a guitar pick, I gave it to one of my other friends that came since she didn't catch anything.

Falk Maria Schlegel... I was so insane about this man BEFORE this concert... I am simply unwell about him now. This, to me, is by far the most unbelievable part of my night because I'm literally in love with him. He's kind of similar to Roel where it's hard to get his attention cause he's also mostly up on the back stage, so he didn't really start to come down to the stage until near the end of the show anyways. But he came down at one point and that man held eye contact with me for a good 30 seconds while Attila was making his speech, I thought my heart stopped, how are his eyes even prettier in person? He's just so fun and so cute, I love watching him interact with the crowd. He came over to my side of the stage after the first encore, Attila was giving a speech about how we're all one big heavy metal family and it was very nice. I had to go over this with my friends about 9 times, I still think they're lying to me and I hallucinated the whole thing. Falk motions to the whole crowd and says I love you, then turns looks directly at me, motions to me specifically and says I love you. I blacked out for about 30 seconds I think, my heart was restarted by the last song starting (I fucking love werewolves of Armenia) they were doing final bows and Falk came back over to my side of the stage, he looked at me so I blew him a kiss and made a heart and he went, "oh! Thank you!" Motioned to me and then held his hands over his chest and he looked so happy, they all looked so happy, I hope they come back soon I already miss them. I plan on being right back up in front next time, who knows, maybe they'll even remember me lol

We're also going to be in their city recap video, and Jen Dorn (Attila's wife) took a bunch of pictures and posted a video of us on her Instagram and we got to meet her too, she was also very sweet and very pretty!!

Okay have some pictures of the greatest night of my life, some of them aren't cropped right, that's my bad lol

I have more videos and stuff I can post if you guys would like to see them!!

[system-architect]

ok here's my collected JW thoughts in general. obviously this is spoilers

OK.................................... so i think anet is Back. its not quite "we are SO back" levels but it COULD be "we are SO back" levels depending on what they do in the next installment

they did good, though, and i think the most obvious jump in quality is actually in the maps themselves. they feel so much better than soto maps just to run around in and explore. theres a LOT more detail and they actually feel pretty intriguing and immersive with a lot of fun easter eggs and surprises!

the story didnt always hit for me but it was still overall Better than soto. the first instance alone grabbed me more than all of soto had tbh. the bears don't personally interest me but the mursaat do, and we're getting somewhere with all the bloodstone and titan stuff

i DO enjoy the angle of the commander starting to go kind of lie-lie man acting in personal interests. isgarren is a bitch but we can also be rude to waiting sorrow for no reason oops sorry nice again haha oh man how'd this bear teleport here that's craaazy.. there were points at which i actively lost track of who we had lied to about what and when, and while the confusion grated me a bit it was also funny in a way? like yeah if i was the commander i'd lose track of this shit too right

the commander doesn't have much of a personality technically, beyond "person who does good(TM) things", and what we make of our canon commander's personality is mostly just our own notions and conceptions and interpretations being placed on them, BUT that said it felt like the story did take the commander in some interesting directions for me.

i felt like i got the sense that the commander really is sort of a "free agent" now, which is fun. when you've already killed all the dragons and your life's purpose is TECHNICALLLLYYY over but you're still around and you're still many things to many people, what do you do with your life? this, apparently.

i like us being kind of a mirror of isgarren in the sense that the comm is an ultra powerful guy, with a lot of worldly+scholarly experience at this point, who a lot of other very powerful figures respect and Need, but that not everyone necessarily Likes. yeah this is our free-range deployable killing machine politician who's kind of strange interpersonally.

my favorite instance in the whole story was the one with the bloodstone ghosts btw. i thought they did a really good job imbuing each with a fair amount of personality and showcasing a wide array of perspectives on what happened in gavril-- a thing which i was prepared to not be particularly interested in tbh, and yet...

ALSO, the voice actor for the gavril citizen ghost was SUPER good! i'm pretty sure they were a new VA but i'd really love to hear more voicework from them. in general i felt a lot of the VA work in this xpac banged-- it feels like they got a decent amount of new/fresh talent?? it's been nice, i hadn't realized how stale the world was starting to feel only hearing the same 3-5 voices constantly (no shade towards the longer-standing VAs who DO do a good job, i just wished for more variety)

REALLY liking the amount of unique voice lines and racial dialogue also

features wise its also been pretty good! i like the repeat renown heart thing plus the return of the hearts. as a revenant with a condi set i cant say ive got any issues with the spears LOL. and warclaw is super fun once you get the hang of it-- i like that it has a learning curve and some nuance like most older mounts do, as opposed to skyscale's fairly 'flat' mobility. have NOT really tried out decorating my homestead yet and ive heard mixed opinions on it, so we'll see how i feel there!

[lazymonth]

Neg-rant ⚠️

Well, here we go again. Ya know, it's hard to explain the feeling rn, but I can simply say that I got jealous out of my friend again.

The wall of text :

I know that it's common for people to compare themselves to other people sometimes, but it's a bad feeling everytime it's happening. And I feel bad to that, that's happening to me when I saw my friend's work. Because I don't want them to feel bad for making me jealous too..

Most of the time, I got jealous because of the.. well, how good other people can do the " story telling ". Especially my good friend, Danish ( sorry for dragging you into this again ). She has an amazing talent on world building, story telling, and literally EVERYTHING. I'm always looking up to her tbh. But for me, I'm the kind of person who likes to keep stuff inside my head, and I'm quite enjoying drawing stuff like a character relationship and dynamic then a big world building and lore.. something like, you know, yaoi and shipping. But evey time I saw Danish's amazing world building, lore, and journey of The Føol. It's making me feel like " What the hell am I doing here!? She's out there cooking! But all I do all day is making gay drama- ". Main! Turbø is literally doing the REAL The Føol's journey, meanwhile my Turbø is still trying his best to ask Nitrø and KC out! (Maybe it's for the best for Main! Turbø to be Aroace, so he doesn't get distracted by other things )

And Føol's escape stories... It literally has nothing to be compared with the Dawn of Førgotten! That main universe is deep, amazing, and literally having a story inside whole rabbit hole waiting to be found! But mine? Pretty much a straight line... Turbø going out each land and kicking everyone ass so he could just get the hell out of Wøndergotten. Maybe having some self discovery too alone the way.. but compared with the main AU, it's literally having much better Turbø! The way he lost the memories can make so much interesting story of self discovery for that Turbø!! His anxiety, identity crisis, the over all evening!

Seeing how good of that Wøndergotten is making me guilty for having this much of simple storyline... I don't even really have a ACTUAL WORLD BUILDING! The Wøndergotten I have is literally using the same world building and overall thing as same as the main one, just a little bit more chilling for some reason. All the world building stuff is go to Danish who's the creator. Which it's making me guilty again for not doing anything other than playing around with the characters instead of doing some actual story like her.

Actually, If I want to tell the story, I'll be prefer to do the writing more than drawing. But the only reason that I'm not writing it out.. is because I lack of motivation to doing it. You know, when work doesn't get that much attention from the people you're just kinda throw it away... Same here, I wrote the actual Wøndergotten story long ago. I posted it in my writing blog, and even sharing it the main blog and hope people seeing it more! But yeah.. it's not really getting that much of a attention. So, I'm pretty much just F with it and go back to drawing toxic yaoi, which is something that I'm sure people love, and I love it too.

Lack of motivation is probably something that makes me don't draw or write stuff about the story or lore about Wøndergotten much. It's like, yeah I love the characters relationship drama and everyone loves the relationship drama! No one probably cares if I'm posting a draw or a written about a story of AU itself. So that's pretty much why The Føol's escape is 80% Toxic yaoi and 20% The Føol's journey.

Another thing that I want to say is that my humble ass self always makes me see people are better than me. If it's not the art, it's going to be the story telling, and probably the characters building too, sometimes. I never think I'm good enough tbh.. never think I'm a big artist.

Maybe Føol's escape is really the opposite of maine Wøndergotten.. probably the down grade of it.. I really think that sometimes.

[persephoneprice]

aaa lily this ask game is so cool and amazing!!

i have soo many people id love to compliment so here goes

lily - im gonna start off with complimenting u bc u were my first friend on here! i feel like u connected the fandom together and ur kindness and friendliness is the reason we're so tight-knit now. ur literally the heart of our fandom and i wouldn't have it any other way. you're creative, hilarious and a wonderful human being, pls know that ❤️

@satisaranea - lynn u r literally the best ilysm /p. ur literally just like me for real, a fellow brit teenager, kmfdm enjoyer and ex danganronpa nerd. ur also incredibly talented and ur takes are SO refreshing to see in this fandom 💗

@keeperofsecretsunderthehill - i love our chats together so so much, u get me fr. im so glad we started talking and became friends, ur so awesome and ur ocs are so incredibly fascinating and i love every single one of them (nikole i would protect u with my life)

@felixravinstills i admire u so so much. ur felixposting has not only intrigued me but inspired me to create and find happiness (and every other emotion lmao) in others art and my own ♥️ i think i've said this before but you're the reason i began posting my writing here and im forever grateful for that.

@fairyhagmother - nell omg. first of all im so glad ur here in this fandom bc most of the corso lore would be lost without you (vigiles, juvenes, vast majority of the Glore). you bring so many amazing ideas and concepts to the table and i aspire to be like that one day ❤️ ur also genuinely so sweet and im glad we're friends!!

@coryo - first off im forever greatful you and lily created the server bc tbh idk where id be without it. ur an Og Tbosaser TM and ur ideas about it are so interesting and cool!!! i appreciate ur always open to talk on the server and are so welcoming. ur art is also very very cool.

i do have More but these were the ones i wanted to get off my chest ❤️ (will perhaps send the rest later if it isn't too annoying 🤧)

ask game! ah thank you this is wonderful bel!!

it’s so sweet of you to say i connected the fandom 🥺 you’re my og tbosas friend and i cherish you <3

@satisaranea is such a delight! i’m so glad we managed to trap the haymitch stan into our corse creatures craziness!

@keeperofsecretsunderthehill is such a sweetie and is so creative!! i always love hearing her lore <3

@felixravinstills my beloved <3 truly a pioneer 😌 always inspiring me and making me feel more comfortable to share me own silly thoughts and ideas!

@fairyhagmother we are all so lucky to have nell <3 she’s so smart and adds such fun insight and ideas for all of our most insane senior citizens

@coryo i’ll never be able to express enough how grateful i am for him!! creating the corso creatures server really brought us all so much closer <3

[j2zara]

hello janelle zukkacore j2zara, its a long time coming but i would like to be a part of clone enjoyers anonymous bc im v interested in their dynamics and i really like ur drawings of the clones :3

i am however, overwhelmed on where to start learning abt them and i was hoping u could point me to the right direction since i pretty much see u as the president of clone enjoyers thank u so much ily 💖

HI FRIEND WELCOME TO THE CLONE ENJOYERS!!!!! WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU! THIS WAS GETTING WIELDY SO I SPLIT IT INTO TWO PARTS

PART ONE + TWO OF CLONE LORE IS HERE

Part 1 is basics of Clone Lore. Part 2 is me shamlessly reccing my fanfic to understand the context. Tbh I'd start with part 1 first or the doc

I've also compiled Clone Lore into a Google doc: it contains all the information from the first post and this post. I might include elaborations later (i was too exhausted to get fully into LJ3. But i feel bad neglecting it).

Anyway. I'm probably gonna link Clone Primer into my pinned post so that people can come back to it.

And I wanna emphasize. I 100% get how insular this is so if you're confused please feel free to ask!!! I have no problem explaining things. I love to talk. I talk way too much. Ask anyone. b/c like. I feel bad that this is gonna look super intimidating.

SO here's the rest of Clone Primer

PART 3: CLONE PRIMER - ELABORATION ON THE BASICS + WEIRD INSULAR INFO + ME RECAPPING FIC CONCEPT STUFF

[I WOULD SKIP THESE OR COME BACK TO THEM LATER IF YOU WANNA GO INTO THE FICS UNSPOILED BUT IF THE SUMMARY IS SUPPLANTING READING THE FIC GO RIGHT AHEAD]

J2 EDITION (aka ALMOST LORE) - aka "BLUEJAY"

J2's personality originates from I'm Almost Me Again (He's Almost You), and was the first one to be developed

J2 is devoted, sweet, earnest, hard-working, anxious, desperate to prove himself. He can have a slight acidic streak (his favorite way to rebel is smashing Jace's stuff) but is very preoccupied with being useful.

He reads as slightly younger than Jace b/c he's a clone, he basically just started existing yesterday, and I jokingly refer to him as "25 year old green new hire coded jace" (and also as Born Sexy Yesterday Jace) bc rewatching Freshman Year, I was surprised by how young and inexperienced Jace sounded, and I feel like that detail about his character (that imo makes his situation very pitiable) was really lost in translation in Junior Year. Because he is young to the world and kind of naive, he is very easy to impress and exploit

However, he is still clever and good at magic. Simulacra in dnd don't regain spell slots, but J2 was the first clone to figure out that as a sorcerer, he could convert sorcery points into spell slots, extending his utility to Jace and Porter and basically sparing himself from being dispelled.

J2 is initially very anxious about his purpose / survival. As a clone, he knows he has an expiration date and is desperate to make himself invaluable. The sorcery points solution to the spell slots is part of this.

J2's innate talent is part of what caught Porter's eye. He was the first clone to meet Porter, and Porter (and to some degree, Jace too) laud him as basically like. Jace's Precious Last Gift to Porter. He's often seen as remarkable or special, but its ambiguous whether that specialness is about j2 on his own terms or if he is special as a manifestation of jace's talent.

J2 is the one who is the intermediary between Jace, Porter, and the other Clones. He takes on the most responsibility, and interacts the most with Porter. Spending a lot of time with Porter, they two of them became very close

J2 is the one who loves Porter deeply enough to be very committed to The Plan. He thinks Porter is worthy of ascension, godhood, even if it means Porter will eventually leave him.

J2 had a long, deeply committed affair w/ porter that culminated in them sleeping together and J2 taking devil's honey that kinda rewired his brain and fucked him up. J2 was very much in love with Porter until he found out that Porter killed Jace and brought him back to life, but the devils honey tricks him into forgetting that fear.

The lie he told himself on devil's honey is "I want this. I want everything. Porter deserves everything". It basically rewires his brain to convince himself that he wants whatever happens to him, whether it be good or bad. Even if Porter got back together with jace, he would want that too, because Porter deserves everything, right? Everything he wants. Me and Jace. Just jace. Even if J2 becomes a literal or emotional sacrifice for the betterment orf porter or the cause. Whatever it is, i will be happy

Right after this happens, jace calls porter and agrees to enfold back into the Plan, but is not going to get back together w/ Porter. J2's fate is ambiguous, but emotionally, Porter has pretty much cast him aside with the hope that he will get back together with Jace. Also, b/c Jace is back in the picture, his status as the Last Precious Gift from Jace is in jeopardy and he becomes about as disposable as the other clones (however, usually when we clonepost, J2 is still top of the pecking order just below Jace)

POST-ALMOST: as far as Clone Lore goes - J2 tends to live in this state where he doesn't just worship Porter, but what we call the "Starbreaker Pantheon". He reveres the jaceporter relationship b/c he finds it to be profound and meaningful even if it's not always Good. Jace also occupies a spot in his devotion as like. This figure he is deeply envious of and could never measure up to, but also as someone he knows must be worthy of respect b/c that's who Porter wants, right? He wants what Jaceporter has b/c he sees Porter's love for Jace as like, something true and intimate and something he's only ever gotten a sliver of, treated as a replacement. He wants to be Jace, but he also wants Porter to be happy, so if Porter is happy with Jace he can find a way to worship Jace, too.

I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION: in Almost, Porter gave J2 the nickname "Bluejay". This is b/c J2's favorite color is blue, which makes him distinct from Jace. He is a very cozy boy who loves cardigans and sweaters and blue nail polish. Yes. Blue Jay is two words. We're gonna breeze past that. J2 fell in love with his new nickname, desperate to see it as a way for Porter to finally recognize him as different from Jace. If you see the clone enjoyers refer to J2 as Bluejay, this is why.

J3 EDITION (aka some Biggest Lie Lore etc)

J2's personality was developed in Almost, and I'd say J3's personality was crystalized in Biggest Lie, but technically J3's personality started as a joke. I said offhand one time in reply to another mutual that in my head, Porter was 100% noncommittally flirting with J3 the entire time he was having this very deep and torrid love affair with J2, and J3 sort of. Became the our beloved little slut as a result of that

J3 is flirtatious, thrillseeking, playful, manipulative, charming, easily bored, fatalistic / borderline parasuicidal, and deeply alientated from his sense of personhood. J2 spent a long time wishing to be loved by Porter on his own terms, as his own person, before finally succumbing. However, J3 is happy (well, convinced himself he happy) to be treated as Jace's cypher.

J3 is often treated as the Most Disposable of the clones. J2 is the intermediary and the Precious Gift. J3 is usually left with grunt work, and anything dangerous is usually foisted upon him to spare J2. He is the one who goes with Porter to cast enlarge-reduce in the woods, and he is the one that used to be spellcaster support for Porter if they ever needed to go anywhere dangerous.

J3 being treated as disposable is why he has no sense of identity or a sense of self preservation, unlike J2. Porter never spends time outside of necessity (until they start screwing. we'll get to that), so nobody has ever really bothered to get to know J3 besides the other clones. J2 is the one that Porter treasures, so J3 views himself as the shield for j3, the disposable one, the one who is likely first to die.

Because of this, he is a thrillseeker, desperate to cram as much living into his short half-life as possible (this includes trying to fuck anyone and everyone in elmville). The experiences do not have to be positive, he wants everything as long as its exciting.

During Almost, J3 and Porter were casually flirting. J3 would die before admitting it, but spending time with Porter was his favorite part of the day. Post Almost, when Jace got folded back into the plan but was not back together with porter, that's when Porter started hooking up with J3. With J3 perfectly willing to let Porter project all his want for jace and frustration at jace onto him because hey, he's getting the porter hookup and not jace, right?

J3 always threads this tenuous line of actively seeking out experiences while also passively being the recipient of other people's fantasies. unlike J2, he embraces being a jace cypher for Porter because that's how he gets porter at his most heightened. J3 often refuses to articulate what he wants, instead letting people do whatever they want to him. He is terrified of being seen as needy, terrified of being rejected for who he is.

At his best he is charismatic and charming, but at his worst he can be dramatic, whiny, desperate for enrichment, actively manipulative and cruel. His best quality and greatest flaw that he inherited from jace and took to the extreme is that he is generous and egoless; as much as he desires to be the center of attention, as much as he can push and push, at the end of the day, he gives people exactly what they need from him at his own expense

J3 rejects the intimacy with Porter that J2 seeks out and can never really achieve because he always falls short of being Jace. J3 convinces himself that he got the best deal out of anyone b/c he doesn't have to deal with the mess of attachment and heartbreak. However, deep down he is deeply jealous of J2 and Jace.

Post-Biggest Lie: Jace and Porter get back together in IYWD, in which Porter drops the clones, including J3. However, in cloneposting, sometimes the clones still have like a weird undefined thing with Porter and Jace for the sake of us having a fun time and fucking around.

BONUS LORE: Not technically canon to Biggest Lie, but J3 is closest to J4 out of everyone in Jaceporter + the clones dynamic. Because J2 is the precious favorite, J3 n J4 developed a weird allyship because they were the matching spares. They are kinda primed to be each other's biggest supporters and biggest weaknesses tbh. J3 provides J4 a spot of actual levity and pleasure in a half-life she otherwise considers to be miserable. J4 recognizes J3's personhood, gives voice to injustices he faces, and likes him for who he is and not who he pretends to me. They are best friends. They flirt. Sometimes they're in love, but like. we'll get to that

J4 EDITION - (aka Electra / Ellie)

J4 doesn't have as much of a... hefty source for characterization. i really hesitate to call things i write a primary source b/c i don't like to claim ownership over the clones it feels weird and wrong for something that is supposed to be fun and is already fanfiction. But i will say the things i write are. Substantial sources if you want clone context bc they're hefty projects lol.

J4 does not have a Porter-centric fic. This may change in the future but, the reason for this is b/c she is the only clone that hates Porter so subjecting her to that is. A much more convoluted task. Closest thing she has is Stay / Leave which is j3/j4 which we sometimes call LJ3 (and the two fics written by iaus!!!! which are fan fucking tastic!)

J4's personality is the result of. Looking at J2 n J3 and going. Ok what is the third point in a data set. If J2 worships Porter, the antithesis is someone who hates Porter, right? (and J3 is a middle ground)

J4 is marginally more loose in her characterization, but I would say she is... Rageful, bitter, driven, rebellious, ruthless, and steadfast in her beliefs, whether they are good or bad. She feels trapped by her circumstances, unlike J2 who has learned to love his gilded cage, and J3 who has accepted his fate and is basically trying to fuck hard until he dies in an explosion. She is determined to carve out her own path and define her own personhood, what we jokingly refer to as her "escaping the narrative"

Unlike J3 who has no problem being a cypher for jace and has completely neglected his own personhood, and J2 who desperately tried to get porter to recognize him for the person he was before succumbing and submitting, willing to be whatever The Plan and Porter needed of him, occupying this weird middle ground, J4 wants nothing to do with jace. She is determined to be her own person. She is disgusted by the limitations placed on her by being "of jace"

You're probably wondering why J4 is a girl. This was a me-headcanon that became fairly mass accepted, but I have joked that J4 is the only clone to achieve transgenderism. I do use she/her pronouns predominantly for J4, but it's mainly out of habit, i also am not super precious about it, nor do i really care what anyone else does with her. I don't necessarily see being a binary trans girl as the only way to interpret her character, but J4 being a girl it is the common way she is perceived at this point this deep into clone lore. As someone who also has a lot of gender feelings, i do see the need to define oneself and create your own identity to be very transgender tho, so i do think it's fitting

More of a fandom joke thing, J4 loves knives. We love when she gets stabby. There are also a lot of jokes abt her stealing jace's credit cards, his SSN, fantasizing abt setting his house on fire

She is preoccupied with the ways in which she might be similar to Porter because she views him as the embodiment of everything she hates, but she is the clone most like him. She is afraid of her own capacity for rage, her instincts for violence, for control, to own, to take, to posses, to dominate. She wants to fight to liberate, for what's right, but she worries her fight is just to be the person holding the boot at someone's throat rather than the person under the boot.

She worries her impotence and rebellion makes her unpalatable and unlovable. Because she can't really make any meaningful change in their circumstances, wouldn't it just be easier to submit? She worries she's denying herself pleasure for nothing. Even if she doesn't have a choice, wouldn't it easier to be submit and be happy, rather than fight and be miserable?

We also joke about Bad Timeline J4, who is equally as cruel and ruthless, but is devoted to Porter. There's no real content abt her, but its just a make believe scenario where she did finally stop fighting and agree to love Porter, in which she is the one most possessive of him, determined to be his attack dog right hand.

As articulated brilliantly by bambi, Jace, j3, and j2 are pretty archetypal charisma casters in that they are charming and make themselves easy to love. J4 wields her personality like a sledgehammer, but that is charisma, too. Her presence is always felt

She was originally very prideful. Determined to be different. Determined to be the one to make it out. Her pride covers up for a deep self hatred, especially as the expiration date of the clones ticks nearer and nearer, and she views herself to be a failure.

Her only soft spots are for the other clones, but especially J3. She pities J2, essentially viewing him as brainwashed into accepting their lot on life, but because of that pity, she does harbor some kindness and tenderness for him because of that. But J3? J4 bets on losing dogs, and she loves her losing dog so much and she would never admit it, but everyone can see it. If it wasn't for him, she probably would have ditched this whole situation.

This is an Esme Special aka @neerdowellnarrator, but J4 b/c she wants to make a point about not being Jase does choose her own name. J4's chosen name is Electra b/c of the greek myth comparisons and her basically Escaping A The Cycle. She goes by "Ellie" for short. J3 sometimes calls her El / Elle. We still refer to her as J4 sometimes for clarity's sake. Whatever stage she is in when it comes to even having a name is very dependent on whoever is depicting her anyway.

PART 4: Wait, so are J3 and J4... In love?

Yeah. it's like a whole Thing. This is a pretty recent development. I'll save it for the doc. To be elaborated on soon, I promise. It's called LJ3, i have a whole tag for it if it grips you.

PART 5: ADDITIONAL SILLY CLONE ENJOYERISMS (with links)

J2Porter Vegas Wedding Roleplay Weekend: a Jess Special! Based on this post! Elaborated on here! Jess aka @hauntedwizardmoment has more thoughts here! But I have a whole tag dedicated to it. Gist is that even after Jace n Porter get back together, Porter still devotes special days to the clones to give them Porter Time, and J2's day is an entire weekend where they booked a hotel in Bastion City. And during that time, they're basically roleplaying "What if we got spontaneous hitched in vegas" where Porter books out the honeymoon sweet, and J2 wears a tacky wedding dress, and the whole weekend is just devoted to treating J2. I'm not kidding, if i think too hard abt j2porter vegas roleplay weekend, I might cry.

Jace put the Clones are in the Torment Nexus: based on a post made by Jess again. Makes me laugh my ass off. If we say the clones are never escaping the torment nexus, this is why

J2Jace Blue Lingerie Gift: Sometimes J2 deserves the niceys, so Jace gives him a treat. NSFT warning lol. The post is a Jess Special / Bambi @iaus / @innskeep Special. I drew J2 something inspired by the getup once.

J2 is goodboy modest tradcath jace / J3 is college casual hookup clubbing era jace / j4 is grunge jace: Just headcanons for the different Jace's style of dress. They're all different eras or common headcanons within the fandom b/c Jace fashions eras. J2 is a bit modest, he likes cardigans and sweaters and for things to be comfortable and oversized (but to be fair, he's not AS modest as goodboy jace. Goodboy ex tradcath jace is the jace backstory for IYWD btw. He's the child of one sol worshiping parent and one galicaean worshiping parent and he is NOT ok). J3 wears a lot of form fitting clubbing outfits and hotpants and shit, Jace's wild child era. J4 wears clothes from grunge jace era which i think is a Jess Special again? Like. Old band tees and flannels and lots of black.

J4 is constantly name dropping obscure alt bands that play tuesday night in the parking lot of the black pit and only watches experimental indie horror movies and foreign war films shot from the perspective of pigeon (said w so much love, that concept fucks)

J2 Amy Dunne / J3 Cool Girl / J4 Gone Girl Amy / Jaceprime Amazing Amy Thesis: An elaboration on Jess's Cool Girl Jace Thesis on which she wrote an awesome fic about.

The Clones are Dykes: This one is old as fuck. I made a joke ages ago abt Dyke!Jace b/c I think Dykefag!Jace / Zara is a cute ship. So if Jace is a dyke, then the clones must also be Dykes. I drew art of them once. Digging up the dyke clones posts would be a trip and they're not really indicative of their current personalities, but if you see us joking about. J2 escaping to another timeline where he is a dyke and in a committed relationship with Zara or Lucilla, that is where that comes from

"Born to Love Porter Cliffbreaker, forced to do weird menial tasks for Jaceprime": another old ass thing i said as a joke before the clones had personalities. But it does have a lot to do with j4's preoccupation w/ free will. And Jace also being remade to love porter. Life is hard when you're born to love someone and you're forced to grade papers instead! It ain't much but it's a half-life! At the same time, me positing the clones all had potential to fall in love with Porter is kinda what brought us here, so.

There's a whole host of greek myth and hadestown references we're always dragging out. Cassankarna is Persephades, Jaceporter is Orphydice. Jaceporter is Persephades, J2 is Eurydice. Jaceporter is Persephades, LJ3 is Orphydice. J2 is Iphigenia, J3 is Helen, J4 is Electra / Cassandra. J2 is also Psyche.

Putting the Clones in Game changer: A comedy au in which the Clones are improv comedians on Dropout.tv. But also it's about LJ3 being a little in love and unable to escape the narrative. Esme made Elliego n J3go which i love (aka bingo cards). Loosely based on the last time i drew Jaceporter on game changer as well

Anyway! Thank you for coming on this long winded journey of Clone Primer! If i have any other thoughts I'll add it to the doc.

[cleromancy]

while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.

(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)

so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.

(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)

i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.

ok cutting 4 length

the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)

but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.

and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)

and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.

oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this

just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:

>:| got distracted again. by this.

anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.

and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)

i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.

(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)

i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.

but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.

tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?

yeah. yeah, i really do. lol

anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.

and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:

and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.

he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.

anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.

bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.

anyway

im just going to roll back to robin 183 now

jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:

does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.

anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.

[fanby-fckry]

Saw you are fan of both The Amazing Devil and Hazbin Hotel, so, combining those two, what TAD songs would you assign each Hazbin Hotel character?

Ooh, this is a good ask!

Ok, not a character, but I once was someone say that Farewell Wanderlust is Lucilith coded, and they’re so right.

"Come, devil, come, " she sang, "Call out my name" Let's take this outside, 'cause we're one and the same Our gods have abandoned us, left us instead Take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead

Especially if we’re including the Lucilith divorce, tbh.

He said, "Hey, darling, hey, hey, darling, hey I'm the hardest goodbye that you'll ever have to say"

…

Because farewell wanderlust, you've been, oh, so kind You brought me to this party, but you left me here behind So long to the person you begged me to be She's down, she's dead Instead what is left but this old satin dress And the mess that you left When you told me that I wasn't right in the head

…

Because farewell wanderlust, you've been ever so kind You brought me through this darkness, but you left me here behind And so long to the person you begged me to be He's down, he's dead Now take a good long look at what you've done to me

He's down, he's dead He's gone, oh, he's lost He's flown, he's fled Now take a good long look at what you've all done to me

But, you didn’t ask for ships, you asked for characters!

Charlie as The Horror and the Wild

I will admit, I cannot fully explain this one. It’s just. Vibes.

You were raised by wolves and voices Every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed They said it all comes down to you You're the daughter of silent watching stones You watch the stars hurl all their fundaments In wonderment, at you and yours, forever asking more

…

Fret not, dear heart, let not them hear The mutterings of all your fears The fluttering of all your wings Welcome to the storm, I am thunder Welcome to my table, bring your hunger

Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring I promise you, they'll sing of every time You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child Witness me, old man, I am the wild

Something, something, her parents’ legacies; something something fighting against the establishment and sniffling and repressive traditions.

Vaggie as King

Just change up the pronouns a bit, and it’s surprising how well it works. Very similar to her part in Whatever It Takes.

Every moon in the sky, every promise and lie (All that matters) All hell and its fire Waits for us

I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep [her] safe from the dark things that wait In that house at the top of the In that house at the top of the I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep the king (all hell, all hell) I’ll keep [her] safe from the dark things that wait In that house (all hell) at the top (all hell) (All hell, all hell, all hell, all hell, all hell, all hell) Of the rock

“Every promise and lie,” you say? “All hell and its fire,” you say? “I’ll keep [her] safe from the dark things that wait”? Is that not Vaggie’s arc?

Angel Dust as The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace

I waffled on this a little bit, but in the end I always kept coming back to The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace for Angel.

This part in particular stands out to me:

'Cause I've been here so many times before Don't you think I look pretty Curled up on this bathroom floor? But where you see weakness, I see wit Sometimes I fall to pieces Just to see what bits of me don't fit

Romanticizing his own breakdowns, self destructing because it’s the only way he knows how to cope.

There’s also something to be said for the way that the glass metaphor mirrors Poison:

Somehow now I'm drinking, and I'm lifting my glass To that last good man grace Who has left me, he's left me at last

…

Then the hollow folk pour me another shard full of glass And I toast to their talents and I forgive them at last

Mmm yummy broken glass, yummy poison. This is fine. He’s fine, guys, don’t even worry about it!

Narrator Voice: He was not fine.

Angel using humor (often sexual humor, but still) as a shield comes up here, as well.

And I laugh, and I laugh 'Cause laughing right now, it's all, all that I have

And the conflicting forces throughout the song, the Old Witch Sleep and Good Man Grace, themselves, can be fitted over the conflicting forces on Angel’s Afterlife.

I could see an argument in either direction for which force matches up with which, but personally, I’m for the Old Witch Sleep as Angel’s addiction and the people with a vested interest in keeping him from being sober vs Good Man Grace as redemption and the pressure to get there.

There's a fire burning, and I'm learning to be So much more than my tiredness So much more than that old witch sleep wishes She kisses my eyelids And I breathe

The Old Witch Sleep represents the comfort in familiar, yet ultimately unhealthy coping mechanisms.

In the song, alone, I would say she sounds a lot like depression and the symptoms and coping mechanisms that come with it – telling the singer to rest, to give in to his tiredness.

And isn’t it easier to sleep? To lay in bed for hours, wasting away because you’re so, so tired, and everything is too much, and it’ll all be there when you get up (if you get up), so sleep, just sleep.

When applied to Angel Dust, specifically, she sounds like addiction.

Return to the comfort of your vices, break yourself so that it hurts less when he breaks you, escape through drugs and sex and dissociation. Isn’t it nicer here, where your thoughts and your feelings and your memories and your pain are blurred and distant and forgotten as you rewrite the narrative from trauma to indulgence? Isn’t it easier than trying to face it all sober?

She’s well intentioned, the Old Witch Sleep. After all, sleep is a necessity. The problem comes in excess, and even then, it can be seen as a kindness – as shelter from the inherent cruelty of being awake.

It kind of reminds me of Cherri, trying to comfort Angel by bringing him back to his vices. Her intentions were good, but ultimately she wound up putting him under even more stress.

So, what about Good Man Grace?

"You're better than this" He says as a hand slaps my face and I stand And say, "No good man grace" I can't do this (you can) I can't do this (you can) I can't do this (you can) I can't do this, you don't understand

Yeahh, remember Charlie and Vaggie’s whole thing in the first half of Masquerade? And to a lesser extent, Video Killed the Radio Star?

Good Man Grace is expectation. Being told that you can do better, trying to do better, wanting to do better, and oh fuck, they don’t understand, because there are forces here beyond your control and it’s harder than it looks, damn it!

And (through Angel’s slightly skewed lens of things) when you don’t make progress fast enough for his liking, Good Man Grace turns his attention to some fucking snake and you wonder if you were ever worth anything to begin with.

Ultimately, neither extreme is helping him.

(Luckily, though, I think Charlie and Vaggie are willing to give him a bit more leeway now that they understand the circumstances behind his resistance to change and his clinging to the mask of his persona/the comfort of his old coping mechanisms. And Cherri may become more of a neutral party, now that she’s stopped viewing the hotel as the problem.)

Alastor as That Unwanted Animal

LISTEN. I know this song is about sex. But can we pretend for a moment, that it isn’t?

Can we take its metaphors about violence and animalistic hunger literally, and transfer the themes of vulnerability in sex to vulnerability in human contact of any kind?

Honestly, as an aroace, I find myself doing this to a lot of songs about sex.

Actually, as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that it is very fitting for @prince-liest’s 666 Live On Air! Alastor, specifically. Which allows us to add the sex back in, but in a uniquely aroace way.

I’m not going to go into a full analysis, here, but I will drop one very relevant, already somewhat aro-coded line:

You try so loud to love me I cannot seem to hear

Lucifer as Welly Boots

Is it cliché to choose the dad-est song for Lucifer? Perhaps. But come on.

I get to watch you grow up now and make me proud Make all of the mistakes that make me laugh Oh, darling, Lord, how you make me laugh Get drunk for me, sing louder than you've sung for me Grow young each time that thunder in your lungs Begins to rumble at the world

Cause you were always strong When you were young, you'd kick things just to see if they would fall They said, "That girl, she's wrong" But I'll stick up for you, even though you haven't got a clue You haven't got a fucking clue

And I'm so proud of you And when they laugh at us You'll feel my fingers down your back And when you scream, "I'm not alright" And throw my picture at the wall You were supposed to be my light And keep me safe against them all

Bonus Round: UH!Lilith as Pray

I’m not going to attempt to get into canon!Lilith outside of her relationship with Lucifer until after we see more of her onscreen, but oh the things I could say about Lilith and Pray if we use the version of her from my pre-season 1 fanfiction.

If you knew all that I'd done The words that shone are all but gone, oh whoa The hearts I've broken, the minds I've woken Sweet nothings are screamed, not spoken, oh whoa

God made all man in his image (God made all men) Honey, I'm, I'm no man I'm what's left when children go to war Run from you, I'll run until I begin to understand (run from you, understand) What holy men really mean When they speak of sand and sons and seams And symphonies and sweat and sex and sin

Pray is undoubtedly her song. The first woman, the first feminist, who dared to disobey her husband and was forever branded a temptress and a whore, who redefined her womanhood, and who wears her sexuality and her femininity proudly.

She is a wife and a mother, but she is not subservient to her husband or to God, himself. She saw Eve take her place, endure the burden of the role she broke free from, and rather than acting superior, putting Eve down, or drowning her in pity and condescension, Lilith met her with kindness, open arms and listening ears.

Also, can you tell my favorite TAD album by looking at this post? I um. I think I mayy have a The Horror and the Wild bias, lol.

[eurydiceryn]

us! chara my sassy lost child

my own interpretation of underswap:

us! chara:

chara replaces frisk so they're now the 8th fallen child. they retain some key characteristics of their og/ut version though (dislikes humanity, has a soft spot for nicer monsters). i heavily see chara as a sassy, firecracker and trouble making child <3

personally, i think of ut! chara as an entity similar to flowey - they have no soul and can't really "feel" love and compassion. depending on what route you as the player takes, they go along with the ride. their beliefs and goals rely on how much exp/lv you've earned. i think of them as a pretty chill souless kid

us! sans:

im not a fan of infantilizing us! sans (honestly this applies to all "papyrus-types"). like chara, he retains some characteristics of his og version. he likes puns (and loves annoying his younger brother with them), a sciency type, and LOVES greasy food ("sans, for the last time, stop buying grillby's overpriced food"). most noticeable difference with his undertale counterpart is that he's a bit more active & more or less has his shit together a lot more than ut! sans.

you can actually die in his boss fight unlike og papyrus. he's aware of what "capturing humans" entail, & he's not really a fan of the whole killing children thing. but y'know, monsterkind just.. needs one more soul don't they? like og papyrus bossfight, you just need to tire him out before he goes "YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T KILL A KID" & spares you.

(if you die thrice in his bossfight, he'll see your expression & just lets you go. he's unnerved & thinks chara's expression will haunt him for the rest of his life)

he can actually make edible food & is popular with snowdin's residents. he has the qualifications to join the royal guard, he just chooses not to. alphys approves of him and would gladly accept him into the team, but eh - he's content with being an unofficial member.

acquaintances with alphys. you could have considered them friends a.. long time ago, but the past is the past. the best big brother - cares deeply for papyrus and his severe lack of friends. pushes the human to hang out w/ him & papyrus (instead of a date).

us! papyrus:

following the trend of retaining some of the og's traits, papyrus can't cook very well. he's slightly above the category of being capable of burning water. he's talented when it comes to making and constructing puzzles - a great engineer tbh. papyrus still has the racecar bed & has dreams of driving one on the surface.

and for the record, he doesn't smoke - it's a lollipop. he's also anxious and socially awkward - guy's got ZERO friends (okay im exaggerating, he does have at least TWO). nevertheless, he's a loser and i love him; a certified babygirl.

similar to ut's events, paps makes a promise to a man behind the ruins' door to guide the human who passes through, and he intends to keep it. unlike ut! sans who tends to watch over the human from a distance (& occassionally intersects with their journey), papyrus is a bit more involved. he keeps chara company during some sections of snowdin/hotland & likes to keep check on them by calling on the cellphone.

although papyrus is lazier and more easy going than ut! papyrus, he's just as compassionate & kind. during his fight's first phase in genocide, he tries to force the human to give up and rethink their ways. his attacks generally consist of blue attacks - a defense; to push you back. he doesn't like the idea of killing someone (even if that someone happened to be the one who killed your brother and all your friends), but if the human does happen to die - it can't be helped.

if you spare him, you don't get dunked on dw. he'll let you off the fight but doesn't allow you to proceed any further. he'll keep blocking your way — the only way to get past him is to kill him. as a result, his bossfight is a lot easier than ut! sans, but still very difficult. when the second phase happens (you attack him when he spares you), he pulls all stops & tries to full on kill you fr.

on a lighter note, he's bffs with undyne. they construct wild and destructive experiments. BESTIES(tm) IN EVERY UNIVERSE <33

(that's all there is for now.. i have plans for the others but i'll post them in due time)

[alchemicaladarna]

I saw a lot of people making headcanons about a Percy Jackson crossover after watching the "Lost" animatic, so I thought I could contribute some of my headcanons! :D

I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH I SPENT AN HOUR RESEARCHING ABOUT THE GODS AND THE EGGS' PERSONALITIES SO I CAN BE ACCURATE WITH ASSIGNING THEM A GODLY PARENT LMAO

Tldr for anyone that wants the short version of this post;

Leo: Aphrodite

Chayanne: Zeus

Richarlyson: Athena or Hermes

Dapper: Hecate or Hades/Pluto

Pomme: Demeter but she's a Hunter of Artemis

Ramon: Hephaestus

Tallulah: Apollo

Trumpet: Hermes (or unclaimed demigod)

Bobby: Ares

Tilin: a lot of options tbh (see explation) (or unclaimed demigod)

Juanaflippa: Dionysus

Leo: Aphrodite because she loves flowers and looking beautiful. Like. My girl cannot handle sleeping in a reinforced room because the reinforced blocks are ugly😭💀

Chayanne: feels like an Ares because of his connection with Techno and his warrior spirit, however, I do think he's more responsible/acts like a big brother to a lot of his siblings and sort of has a leader-like role, so I headcanon Chayanne as a child of Zeus.

Richas: kinda feels like Athena's child because she is known as the goddess of crafts as well as knowledge, and he has a talent for art and an affinity for enigmas like his dad Cellbit, but he is often very mischievous and chaotic, so I feel like he fits in with Hermes, rahter than Athena.

Dapper: a Hades/Pluto child in my opinion because of his connection to death; he's also very knowledgeable, but I'm kinda struggling to think of a god of knowledge that is different from Athena. To be fair, he did pick the Death entity in Cellbit's paranormal room, so I think Hades fits him more than a knowledge-aligned god. He can also be a child of Hecate because of his connections with the paranormal, mysticism, and necromancy/grim reaper stuff.

Pomme: She is definitely Demeter's daughter because of her affinity with nature, but if you're familiar with Greek mythology, you might remember that she can be fierce and very vengeful. She can also fit with Persephone because of this tbh. Also, although she is a daughter of Demeter, I think she would be a Hunter of Artemis, so you can incorporate her warrior side without her being necessarily affiliated with Ares.

Ramon: 100% a Hephaestus child, but can also be considered Hypnos' kid because of how much he likes to sleep, especially during the early days.

Tallulah: definitely gives off Apollo vibes, but she hangs out with the children of Demeter so often because of her love of nature and flowers, that people mistake her as a child of Demeter rather than Apollo.

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The deaceased eggs are interesting because some of them died before they had a chance to truly develop their personalities to assign them to a specific godly parent, but I tried my best!

Trumpet: I didn't get to know him, unfortunately, but from what people say, he was very mischievous and liked to place bombs to prank people, so he could be a child of Hermes. (also, something sad to consider is how, at least in the first pjo series, kids who were unclaimed by their godly parents, ended up in the Hermes cabin- so, if we want to be super sad, we can say that Trumpet was never claimed by his godly parent D':)

Bobby: He looooved fighting and dungeons very much, and be was one of the most aggressive eggs (except when it came to Jaiden lmao), so I can't see Bobby having any parent other than Ares tbh.

Tilin: ngl I don't know too much about Tilin, but from what I've gathered from Jaiden's early streams was that they had a strong fighting spirit like Bobby; but, according to the wiki, they were very compassionate and empathetic as well, and towards the end of their life, they became kind of depressed because they felt neglected by Quackity and they never met their other dad, Luzu. They're actually kind of similiar to Tallulah in a way, but in the pjo universe, they kinda remind me of Bianca Di Angelo as well. They could either be a child of Hades/Pluto, Ares, Hermes, or even Nemesis or Eris, the goddess of chaos. Orrrr we could also go the sad route and say they were never actually claimed by their godly parent, and thus, they were kind of taken care of by everybody, just like in the server.

Juanflippa: Another egg I don't know much about except that Juanflippa was a very chaotic egg, but she was very kind and had a positive attitude, despite her situation often being very unfortunate. She kinda fits in the Hermes cabin, but I think she is a child of Dionysus because, according to the myths, Dionysus was a patron god for transgender or non-binary people. He was also a patron god of madness and chaos, and that's always the energy of Slimecicle's streams tbh. (Fun fact: even though Dionysus is commonly referred to with as a male entity, he rejected binaries and embraced a bigender identity, much to the dismay of the ancient Greeks) Anyways, got a little sidetracked with the lore, but I think Juanaflippa is a child of Dionysus because of her chaotic nature, and also for fun!