#kind of a cry for help but moreso i just wanna know if this is normal or not

[ikana-graveyard]

genuinely so put off by all and any form of romance at this point like... I just want money and free-time and to be alone

[moneymartin]

jealous possessive Lottie hcs?:3

🦌- jealous!lottie hcs

used nat as the punching bag here but this includes every other yj or wtv. this is so lowk kinda long sry i got lured in real deep. also probably makes no sense lol!

honestly i don’t think she’s a very jealous girl… she’s moreso the type to just cling to you a lot cause she’s scared 😭

but ohhhh my lord when she sees you with someone from her team it’s all over

she starts off easy probably asking simple questions like “oh, what were you and nat talking about yesterday at lunch?”

she doesn’t wanna seem too obvious but you can tell there’s something wrong

when you and that specific teammate hang out a lot more lottie tends to take much more notice. she’s noting down the times you come back to her place after that hangout and shit

the times are extremely repetitive and you come home around the same time which makes her believe you’re hooking up with them…….

that makes lottie become a lot more mean because she truly does not have the heart to end things with you. she can only be mean. also i genuinely can’t see her breaking things off i know she’d be a mess 😣

when you ask her questions it’s kind of like the typical jealousy filled answer.

you ask her for the homework answers and she’ll say “go ask nat.” and you can’t really get them out of her cause she’s so mad. you’d literally ask her “what’s for dinner” and she’d respond with something completely unrelated like “maybe nat can make you dinner??” OMFG WHAT A BJTCH

before one of the hangouts you have with that person lottie pulls you to the side for a few minutes before you leave

she’s on your lap and biting your neck to mark you up >__< leaving hickeys on your jaw and neck and on your collarbone. WHEW

the person you’re always with notices them and asks you whats wrong but you just say it’s a bunch of bites 💀💀

after that lottie tends to mark you up a lot more. especially in bed. scratching your back and arms as hard as she can. not to the point where it bleeds i think just to the point where they’re extremely noticeable

when you come home and she sees a ‘new hickey’ she is DONE! it’s not even new though it’s literally her’s she jus doesn’t remember it -_-

but she’s too fed up and takes you up to the bedroom to strip everything off of you

she takes her anger out on you during the sex…

like she’ll probably drive into you with her strap soo hard. it’s smth you aren’t very used to yet but she could care less

also tries to choke you too but you do that little tapping thing on her hand so she can stop. she feels bad but keeps going anyways cause shes so fucking jealous

during it she’ll grunt things out like “can they fuck you like i can??!” and it gets you real confused 😭 “bet they can’t be this deep in you, huh? is that right?!”

afterwards you’d confront her about it though. asking her what she meant by that and then she says “well, you’ve been hanging out with (whoever) wayy too much, and i- i got jealous and…”

she babbles on a bunch and starts crying even though you’re the one who practically got ripped in half!!!

you manage to comfort her though saying things like “y’know i’m just hanging out with them because they’re my friend. i’m not that type of person, lott.” while you wipe away her tears 😞💔

anyways she somehow starts to fall asleep before you do while she traces the scratches on your back

in the morning she kisses all of the purple and reddish hickeys on your skin to apologize for being jealous and way too rough the night before. she also kisses the scratches and helps you treat them with some creams ☹️

[devils-dares]

The Anatomy of a Hug

summary: it's the middle of the night and you've been crying. seeking comfort, you knock on his door.

pairings: unspecified male character x gender neutral!reader

warnings: mentions of friends with benefits type relationship, no smut, crying, mentions of not eating or sleeping, only description is reader is shorter than character, hun as a pet name.

wordcount: 819

a/n: wowie, i'm breaking my hiatus! tbh never thought this day would come. this is written with the call of duty fandom in mind, but can go for practically any male character.

-----

“Wha-” he rubs his eyes, trying to scrub the sleep away, “you’re here. Why are you here?”

It’s a fair question. You knocked on his door in the middle of the night, eyes red from crying. He has every reason to close the door and go back to bed. It’s cold.

You shrug, tired bones too exhausted to even think of a reply.

“Hey, now. C’mere, come in,” he says, stepping to the side to let you in, “talk to me. What’s going on?” It’s warm in the house, walls bathed in honey colored lighting from the incandescent bulbs that buzz away when they’ve gone dim. It smells like him, and you can feel his warmth without ever having to touch him.

“What are ya thinkin’?” His voice is deep, gravelly, a sure sign you’d woken him up from a deep sleep.

“Just wanna be held.” You say, voice shaking on the verge of tears. He stands still for a second, hesitating.

“You want me to- to hold you?” It was a fair question. The two of you didn’t have that kind of relationship, moreso two acquaintances who found comfort in each others’ bodies between the sheets.

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” You say. He tuts after shutting the door, shifting his weight onto one leg. His arms are folded across his chest, making his frame appear so much bigger than yours, and making you crave his embrace that much more.

“It’s the middle of the night.”

“I’m well aware.” You say, chuckling sadly.

“And you came… here?”

“I can go-”

“No. Don’t leave. Let me hold you, yeah?”

“I don’t wanna be a b-”

“Bother? You’re bothering me by looking like you’ve been crying for hours.”

“Flattery was never your strong suit.” He sighs, crossing the room in three big steps and pulling you into his arms. Your head gets buried in his chest, the scent of him forcing you to settle against him. The weight of his arms is comforting, one wrapped around your waist and one trails up your back to cup the back of your head.

“This is nice, didn’t know you knew how to be soft.”

“Shut up and let me hug you.”

“Okay, sorry.” The two of you fall into an easy silence, nothing but your soft breaths filling the room.

He’s warm, something you always liked about him. He was built like a goddamn furnace, and you were always freezing. It also helped that he was massive, your head just barely reaching his pectoral muscles. Not to mention for how strong he was, he was holding you surprisingly tender.

He held you up. His one arm around your waist held you up without struggle. Your bones and muscles appreciated him, even though you were mentally unable to share your thanks with him. God, he just made you melt like hot butter in his arms. He hated physical affection, never going much further than cuddling during aftercare, but this, it felt like he needed it a little bit too.

“When was the last time you ate, hun?”

You’re not sure what it is about him, an otherwise stoic man breaking his walls down to hold you in a vulnerable moment, or the fact that he felt like he actually wanted to be there. You’re not sure what it was, but almost immediately after the pet name left his lips, you let out a sob, followed by an onslaught of tears that did nothing but soak his shirt and obscure your vision. He freezes against you, muscles tensing where they hold you, but he thaws eventually.

“‘m so tired.”

“I know, let me take care of you for tonight. Don’t worry.” It’s effortless, really, the way he softens his voice and holds your entire weight in his arms, letting you wet his shirt with your tears without saying a word. It feels like you cry for ages, sobbing loudly until you have no tears left and your head is pounding from the onslaught of emotions. It’s silent for a while, you don’t know how long you spent in his arms.

“Sorry.”

“What for?”

“Waking you for that.”

“I’d wake for you if you got a damn papercut, now, when was the last time you ate?”

“What did you say?” He looks at you after you ask.

“I’m saying that if you knocked on my door because you couldn’t sleep at night, I’d pick you up and throw you in my bed to make sure you slept, because lord knows you have a shit sleep schedule. Lord also knows you never eat on time or properly, so I’ll ask you once more, when was the last time you ate?”

“I don’t… I don’t remember.” He tuts again, dropping his arm from around your waist to a little lower, and scoops you up in his arms.

“Come now, let’s get you something to eat.”

[7ndipity]

Hey, bestie :3

How was your day?:3

Can I request à headcanon for the seven of them with a girlfriend with an explosive temper? I'm really patient whatever I do (I'm actually studying law and it's really hard) but sometimes, I just run out of patience and boum! I explode like a volcano🤣 Saying a lot of bad words (not to people but to my belongings like my notebooks. Poor them.) while I'm usually really polite (people say that I speak like a book, some friends call me "Walking Encyclopaedia" so they are kinda surprise when I say some profanities). Sometimes, I just cry out of frustration. But many times, I just blame myself for being stupid.

How would they react?

Thank you and remember: YOU ARE THE BEST!

Their S/o Has an Explosive Temper

Ot7 x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks for this request! Honestly, I think they’d all have fairly similar reactions, but I tried to make these all a lil different.

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He kinda does this too sometimes, so he gets it, but he really doesn’t like seeing you upset, so he tends to go into ‘Y/n Defense Mode’, wanting to know who/what irritated you and how he can fix it as soon as possible. “Yah, what’d they do? Give me names!”

Yoongi: Ngl, he’s gonna find it a lil hot sometimes jdgfjskfhdiu. But seriously, he gets that sometimes shit just gets to you and you gotta vent a little. If you start to get really worked up, he’ll try to calm you down, but otherwise he lets you work it out at your own pace

Hobi: He gets soo startled the first few times it happens, like ‘wtf happened to my sweet baby?! Since when do you use those words?!’ He might try to diffuse at least some of your anger if you’re really mad, but I think he mostly just tries to stay out of your way when you’re like this.

Namjoon: Tbh, he’s got a lil bit of a temper too, so he’s not that shocked, moreso just surprised to hear that kind of language from you. He mostly lets you be, trusting you to let him know if something’s really bothering you, and offering to talk if you need to.

Jimin: I think he’d be so genuinely startled at first, he thought he was the one with the temper in your relationship! He’s more concerned about why you're upset than anything else tho, wanting to try and find a solution or way to help out you if he can.

Taehyung: Similar to Jimin, I think he’d more worried than anything, wanting to know why you’re upset and if there’s any way he can help. He really hates seeing you upset, so he’d try to find a way to make you smile, whether that’s a simple kiss or surprising you with your fave food.

Jungkook: The first time he hears you get mad and curse, he’s like 👀, it’s just so different from your normal personality, he doesn’t quite know what to think. For the sake of your books and things, he might ask if you wanna try some boxing or smth with him to vent your frustrations.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[fallenwhumpee]

I got a prompt I wanna see!

A whumpee who can shapeshift but it's moreso based on their emotions and mental state. I've been dying to see a caretaker walking in on poor whumpee mentally going through it in a monster like form. Does the caretaker know this about whumpee and calm them? Or get scared seeing a monster in whumpees room?

Hope this is entertaining for you to write! :D

Human

• Masterlist •

Warnings: Transformation, nonhuman whumpee, broken bones, unintentional self harm.

One would think Leader was born without emotions. Be it in a normal day or one spent fighting, that face eerily stayed still, and there was nothing, nothing on that face. Not even a twitch.

It drove Caretaker mad.

But now, Caretaker was ashamed. They had thrown up their anger on Leader when Leader was the only reason they were still alive. But Caretaker had been too focused on the people to realise that they were spitting insults at Leader. Insults that made their face red as they thought about.

And Leader looked hurt, the stone face cracking for the first time in ever.

Caretaker felt more and more guilty as they thought about it. They wanted to believe that Leader knew Caretaker wasn't at the best state of mind when they told about those. Leader would understand Caretaker didn't mean any of it.

It took Caretaker a good while to build up courage and get to Leader's door.

"Leader?" Caretaker asked, muttering curses to their meek tone. They leaned closer to the door, not hearing anything. "Leader." They called again. They didn't want to intrude, but they had to get the guilt out of their chest. It sounded too selfish like that, but Caretaker ignored the thought and turned the round doorknob. It was kind of hard to open and different from the rest of the base.

Caretaker was surprised to meet with the pitch black room, their eyes tricking them to see a monster in the room due to not adjusting yet. They reached the switch blindly, turning on the light and... freezing.

The monster wasn't a trick their eyes played.

Now that there a sent any wall blocking the sounds, Caretaker could hear bones breaking.

"Get away," a growl disturbed the sounds, coming out more like a murter than actual words. The pain in the voice shook Caretaker, but Caretaker couldn't answer. Not when they could see Leader on the floor, their hands holding their neck as claws threatened to grow from their hands and digging into their skin.

Caretaker opened their mouth to speak but a weak stutter was all they could get out.

Leader’s body shuddered, muscles expanding with sounds of rubber bands snapping and a thick, white fur growing and disappearing as their skin resisted the change. The growls filled wkth pain were primal, each one causing Caretaker to flinch. They couldn’t move, their legs rooted to the spot by pure fear. The scene was surreal, like something out of a nightmare.

Caretaker now understood why Leader always took the enemy alone.

“Get away!” Leader’s voice was a desperate cry. Their eyes, usually so cold and reserved, now flashed with a mix of fear and anger.

Caretaker forced themselves to breathe, to think. They knew they couldn’t just stand there. Finding logic among their thoughts, they forced themselves to think how they could help. But what could they do against... this?

But Caretaker couldn't back down. “I’m not leaving you,” they said, voice trembling, not even convincing themselves.

The air got thick with the scent of blood and sweat as Leader tried to resist. Their eyes, now a fierce, glowing amber, locked onto Caretaker’s.

“Leave,” Leader howled through gritted teeth, fighting to retain a sliver of humanity. “I can’t…control…”

"No. You won't hurt me," Caretaker muttered as they stepped closer.

Leader's breath hitched, tensing. "It was so close. I could've lost the team."

"But you didn't," Caretaker said as they kneeled in front of Leader. They reached to the big claws and gently removed them from Leader's neck.

"I... I was going to lose the only thing that kept me sane. That kept me... human. You... you were right. I-"

"No, I was wrong, and you did your best."

Leader shuddered, bones beginning to break again as their form began to get more humanoid. "But it was so close. They could have died there and I was useles, weak!" Leader breathed, each word a struggle as they fought against themselves. The raw

“Listen to me, Leader,” Caretaker said, their voice steadier now, despite the fear throttling them. “You’re stronger than this. You’re the reason we’re all still here. And we need you to calm down.”

Leader’s amber eyes blinked, the human behind the beast slowly crawling up to the resurface. “I’m… I’m a danger,” Leader rasped. “I can’t… not after... I'll lose it once I see Whumper."

“Yes, you can,” Caretaker insisted. They tightened their grip on Leader’s clawed hands, refusing to let go. “You won't give them the satisfaction.”

Leader’s growls softened, and the monstrous form slowly gave way to the human figure Caretaker knew so well. Leader’s body trembled violently with the effort, but Caretaker stayed where they were.

Minutes felt like hours, but finally, Leader slowly slumped against the wall, drenched in sweat, entirely human again. Their eyes were closed, their face contorted in pain and exhaustion. Blood was dripping slowly from their neck, but the claw mark was small, as if it was from a cat.

Caretaker let out a breath they hadn’t realized they were holding. They gently brushed the damp hair from Leader’s forehead. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Leader’s eyes fluttered open, the usual stoic mask shattered and replaced by vulnerability. “I’m… sorry,” they whispered, voice hoarse. “I never wanted you to see this. Pain is usually enough to anchor me, but this time, I lost my control.”

"Usually?" Caretaker almost shouted.

"Just... just not now, Caretaker," Leader sighed and closed their eyes again.

Caretaker had to bite their lips to stop themselves from asking. "Okay. Okay, not now. But... but I'm having you in infirmary as motivation to the team, and you are going to give me a lecture about insulting a higher up and acting too emotional. I was scared, and I took my anger out of you. It was wrong and this... is my fault, in a sense."

Leader stood up slowly, their every joint popping. "I'm sure I can do something about that," they said and offered a small smile.

Caretaker decided that they would give world's just to see that smile again.

[homelanderbutbig]

How do you think reader and Homelander met? Because I know it would take an incredible amount of time for Homelander to fully trust reader enough to be vulnerable given the way he grew up

I’m also especially curious to see how HL would react if reader was ever in any kind of serious danger, as well as the aftermath of it

I really really love this AU you’re putting together!!

Lmao, how did you guess that is what my next fic is going to be about? I don't wanna spoil too much of what I'm writing, but the reader is a new employee at the Vought Tower. Nothing too special, just like a desk job. Due to Homelander's size he can't fit through the doors of most other buildings, so in the Tower is the most logical place for him to meet someone. Homelander can hear everyone's heartbeats so he knows how scared the Vought staff are of him, but he notices the new hire isn't. It doesn't take much to pique his interest, just someone to be different than the yes men he is surrounded by. Something so simple as a person genuinely not being afraid takes the edge off his "tough guy" persona, because it's something so rare for him.

All he really wants is to actually make a connection with someone, even though he is hesitant to REALLY make that connection due to his history of sharing his feelings with people he trusted and them just using him for their own goals. (ie. Madelyn and Stormfront)

Now, if the reader was in a situation where they were kidnapped, bound to a chair with a gun pointed at their head, to be used as a hostage kind of situation... Homelander would for sure go berserk. As soon as he noticed the reader was missing, he'd pinpoint the location of their heartbeat and just bulldoze himself into that building. I picture the reader being moreso of a pacifist really against violence, and this calm nature is what they use to help bring down Homelander when he gets worked up. I think if the reader's mouth wasn't gagged, they could convince him to let the kidnappers go, and to just take them to safety. As angry as he would be that some dumb fucks were stupid enough to kidnap you, he doesn't want to upset you and he listens.

NOW... if the reader wasn't able to talk, Homelander would absolutely give in to his dark nature and just massacre them. It wouldn't be until after the dust is settled and he sees the reader crying and scared out of their wits that the reality of what he just did would sink in. He'd be as tearful as the reader is, because he knows he fucked up and terrified them. That's the one thing he doesn't want, is for them to think he is a monster. Even though the reader is the one who just got kidnapped, they'd have to bring Homelander down from a panic attack. Tell him they still love him, reassure him that they understand why he killed those people and that everything will be alright. Their principles of pacifism really would get tested with Homelander, especially with how quickly he flies off the handle.

And thank you very much!! I've still got a lot of silly ideas clinking around in my head with this AU, so hopefully I can keep making more stuff about it. As a token of my appreciation, here's a little WIP I'm drawing with giant Homelander. For a better visualization of how tall he is compared to the reader.

[sincerely-sofie]

The finishing of this fanfic has left me with some pretty mixed emotions. On the one hand, I dont want it to end. It's such an incredible piece of work and even though I finally committed to reading it a few weeks ago, it already feels like such a significant part of my life. On the other hand, I'm a little glad that it's over. FAR from the sense it was bad (I'll steal your liver if thats how you interpret it) but moreso in the sense that it was like a good crying session. It's something that a lot of us (or I assume a lot of us) typically want to avoid even though we know its good for us, and satisfying after the fact. It's like catharsis in a way. Endings aren't always a great feeling in the moment, but it's something that we can look back on with a fondness.

I'm so glad I found this work. I'm being completely serious when I say that this fanfic, and the other content you make, has changed my life for the better. Its helped me reconnect with that love I have for creativity after nearly a decade of not making anything even though I wanted to. It's helped pulled me out of a few ruts of depression. It's helped me realize that I'm not actually emotionally stunted (per my own conclusions) and be more willing to cry instead of burying those feelings. In the past I would just, kill these kinda thoughts before they got far because of how much I wanted to avoid crying. Much less actually writing them down, or express them to someone else. But now, I've been crying the whole time I write this, and for the first time in, I think ever, I'm okay with that. I know we don't actually know each other, but you've genuinely helped me become a better person with the things you make. Thank you so much for everything you've done Sofie. hey look! I got your name right!

But enough about me. I feel like it's getting indulgent at this point. (I've gotten dehydrated with how much ive cried writing this and from what I can tell, you cry a lot more than I do. So go drink some water first, and then) I wanna hear your thoughts. What are your thoughts and feelings about your work being finished? Do you have plans to take a break from creative endevors for a while, or are you gonna keep going? Are you going to be expanding more on this and other au's, different fanworks or move into something completely your own? Whatever the case may be, I'm excited to see what more you are going to come up with!

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of everyone else, Thank you for everything.

It's so surreal to have posted that final chapter. I finished the first draft almost 100 days ago exactly, and I spent a number of days after completing it kind of adrift. I'd go to my computer every morning like I had during the month prior and sit down, ready to write, only to remember that I was actually supposed to be taking a break before I made the final edits.  It didn't click in my head that I had actually done it… until a couple weeks later when it hit me like a truck that I had an entire completed manuscript sitting in my Google Docs. I think I was making myself lunch at that moment, and I had to bolt to lie down on the floor and put my legs up against the wall because I was ready to pass out at the realization. 

This feels pretty similar. For me, The Present is a Gift— the main fanfic, at least— was finished in mid-January. But the process of uploading it and agonizing over what people thought of every passing update wouldn't be formally done until about 3 months later. It still hasn't clicked in my head that I won't be posting a new update once Tuesday rolls around. 

On the subject of taking a break— I've actually been taking a break, at least partway! I've barely written anything after I finished TPiaG's first draft, and I haven't drawn much “serious” art, for lack of a better word, since I started my blog. I've still been making things, yes, but scattered oneshots and sketchy pieces without solid lineart are not my typical fare. I'm usually a lot more “exact” with what I make— words fail me here— I hope I'm not being too vague! I might take a brief break as I finish up the winter semester, but that would be less a break from creating and more of an “OH MY WORD I NEED TO FOCUS ON NOTHING BUT PASSING THESE COURSES” kinda thing. 

TPiaG (along with its derivative AUs) is still very much a living project to me— there's a lot more stories the characters have in them, even if I struggle to envision a full-on sequel. I'm absolutely going to answer the asks relating to it that I've received over the months along with any I continue to receive, and if I get any ideas for comics or oneshots here and there, I'll make them. As for what's officially next up on the Sincerely Sofie menu, I'm planning to make a visual novel that's a lot more meaty than the last one I made. I'm not sure if it will be original or based on TPiaG— but a visual novel is the medium I'm planning on! 

I'm so overwhelmed by your kindness. I truly don't have any words. This project started off as something private to help distract me from a depressive episode and to process trauma, and it's become so much more. I'm so glad it was able to help you. Catharsis was the keyword for TPiaG— I wanted it to uproot difficult emotions and help people start to heal from them, but I never dreamed it would really help anyone but myself. So to hear it was able to provide you with that is unbelievably meaningful to me. 

I gave myself the goal somewhat recently to let myself cry whenever the urge strikes me. I used to go months without crying, and whenever I did shed tears, it was alone in my room while muffling the few sounds I accidentally let slip. I'm a natural crybaby, but I had schooled myself into thinking for a number of reasons that it was bad to cry— that it was selfish, or attention-seeking, or weak— so I've been trying to reclaim my teary-eyed identity. It's been difficult, but it's so freeing to let myself feel things fully. All of this is to say: let the tears fall. I've helped more people by crying than my stoicism ever did. 

Thanks again. I can't properly word my gratitude, but know that it's overwhelming :,>

[twiixr4kidz]

I promise dis is da last request….. basically…. Scott and the evil exes (minus roxie) as parent. Y/n headcanons cause Yolo (agian so sorry bout meh overload… I just luv ur work)

omg it's not an overload at all!! i love the fun requests you have :D

scott and the evil exes (minus roxie) as parents!!

scott pilgrim

chaos but not in the absolutely crazy way - in the "i have no idea what im doing" way

he doesn't know how to hold a baby or how to feed a baby or how to change the baby's diaper

so you're going to have to give him like. a lesson on how to.

BUT WHEN HE FINALLY GETS THE HANG OF IT, expect him to actually let you sleep??

he knows it was a lot of work carrying a whole child for 9 months and even though he's exhausted from being up all night with a baby who's whining and crying for seemingly no reason...

he's just happy you're getting your much needed beauty sleep

matthew patel

somehow already knows exactly how to parent??

you don't know where it came from but seeing him bond with your kid is just precious

mattie has an air about him that causes the baby to just... stop?? crying??

you have no idea how he does it but whenever you can't figure out what's wrong, matthew can

this man is a sucker for playing peekaboo with the kid though

like an absolute sucker

the delight on his face when the baby gets surprised is hilariously adorable

lucas lee

bro was built to be a father IM JUST SAYING

he would be an incredible dad

he's not sure about the ins and outs, but neither are you, so it's a learning process for the two of you

the late nights of crying are less than favorable, but whenever one of you is too tired, the other takes over so they can get a little shut-eye in

he's definitely the kind of dad who wants the baby to be his little mini-me

MATCHING OUTFITS.

you're going to have to explain to lucas that he cannot put a mini leather jacket onto his 2 month old child and is going to (jokingly) argue with you over it

todd ingram

he gets the hang of the whole dad business pretty damn quick

especially for someone who was panicking about it merely weeks before the birth

and the day of the birth

and every day after that

NOT THE POINT

similarly to lucas, he thinks the whole matching outfit thing is absolutely adorable, and he's going to try to rope you into it too

he's gonna show the kid all of his favorite movies and play his favorite songs for them, even if they're too young to understand what's going on

he's also the kind of dad who totally talks to the kid about how much he loves their parents

kyle katayanagi

he has thrown confetti at this child every single month anniversary of their birth just because he thinks it's the funniest thing ever

and honestly, it kind of is

he's not happy about being up all night, and he's gonna complain about it A LOT

just give him the "i carried this fucking child for 9 months you have no room to talk" look and he'll shut up SJDKFHKSDJHF

despite being a huge dork, he's really helpful with the kid!!

i mean duh

he's the dad

absolutely loves playing with them

he reads them a bedtime story literally every single night and he doesn't plan on stopping ever

ken katayanagi

at first, he isn't sure what to do

of course he wants to bond with his own kid, but he doesn't know how to go about it

literally just hand him the baby while he's going about his normal tasks and he'll eventually get the hang of it

he loves putting the baby to bed, and whenever you can't find him, he's probably sitting in the chair next to crib and making sure the baby's okay

he's gonna be a little more overprotective of both you and your child just because he doesn't wanna see any harm come to either of you

like at all

gideon graves

he's the most responsible man ever

that being said, you once handed the baby off to gideon and came back to see he was explaining all the different parts of his music studio

to a 3 month old

who could only giggle and cry

that being said, he does take care of a lot of responsibilities around the house

moreso now that there's another person to worry about

he insists that you take care of the baby and make sure they're fed and changed and stuff

he starts cooking and cleaning more in between gigs, and even though you can't come as often anymore, he makes sure to make it up to you every single time

[jameui]

UNFORTUNATE FATE

Requested

PAIRING: Jeon Jungkook x M!Reader x Kim Taehyung

GENRE: Angst, Smut, Fluff

WARNINGS: Noncon, Taehyung being a rough monster, Jungkook being a jerk

SUMMARY: You and Jungkook had been friends with benefits for the longest time you could ever think of and when you decided to end all of it, he couldn't take it and decided that you needed a little mind opener.

Your eyes were dreamily looking at your long time crush, Kim Taehyung, a senior who has been nothing, but kind to you and your friend, which was one of the many reasons why you fell for this man. You knew it sounded so cheesy and clichè, but to you the moment you saw him, it was love at first sight. When his eyes met with yours, you couldn't help yourself from getting attached so easily, like a butterfly to a candlelight.

Your friend noticed your staring as she stopped in the middle of eating, cheeks puffed up from being full, then turning her head towards the direction where your eyes stared into. She scoffed and turned back to continue eating her food, rolling her eyes. "Hey, can you stop with the staring? He'd probably think you're a creep."

You sighed while pushing the bottom of your lips and nodded. "I just can't even if you want me to. He's just so irresistible."

As you talked, you were so caught up in your head that you never got the chance to notice the eyes that were boring holes into your back.

You stabbed your fork onto your fries, taking a few pieces of the fried yellow sticks and putting it into your mouth. You hummed while happily munching on your food, doing a little dance on your seat as you did so. Hyejoo, your friend who sat across you, caught sight of a fuming Jungkook whose face was as red as a tomato from all the anger. She subtly went back down to eating her food and cleared her throat. "M/n." She whispered your name while she waved at you to move your ear closer to her mouth.

You did as you were gestured and leaned in closer. "Jung—"

"Hey, Choi! Get your ass up. Now." A deep voiced male sternly told you taking both of your attentions as you glared at him.

"Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?" You tut your tongue and smirked. "Weirdo."

That was enough to make Jungkook release fire through his nose, then took your wrist and pulled you away with him to who knows where. "Ah! Jungkook! Stop!"

"No can do, M/n." Jungkook chuckled darkly. "You've been such a brat, my little bitch. Had fun?"

Once you were able to free yourself from his grasp, you glared at him and pushed him away. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I told you I don't want to be your sex buddy, anymore." You sighed in disbelief and waisted your hands. "I can't deal with just being a fuck bud, when I want you to be my boyfriend."

"Then, I'll be your boyfriend —"

"No!" You retorted quite shocked that Jungkook thought like that. As if he can get anything he wants. "You lost your chance, Jeon. I don't want you anymore." You glared your eyes at him and was about to leave when Jungkook pushed you inside the restroom that you didn't even know was there until now.

"Jungkook, what the—" He cuts you off mid-sentence when he wraps a hand tightly around your throat that got you gasping for air all the while trying your best to remove his hand from your neck.

His eyes darkened and growled loudly, before he moved to the nearest cubicle and pulled both of you inside. He practically threw you inside and got you seated on the closed toilet while you coughed and tried to gather as much air as you can. "You are being so disrespectful right now, doll." He locks the door behind him as he stalked forward, one side of his lips curling up to a smirk raising his knee to let it rest near your crotch caging you in between his arms with his face so close to yours, one wrong move and both of your lips would be touching each other. "Do you wanna know what happens to bad boys, M/n?" His breathe felt so warm on your skin, but you didn't want him so close to you, so you spat at his face smiling proudly when you were able to successfully erase that annoying smirk on his face. Jungkook moved one hand to wipe the spit that you put on his face, before he licked it off his fingers and seductively looked back at your eyes that were opened widely from shock. "You taste good, M/n."

"Fuck you! Get away from me, you creep!" You screamed on the top of your lungs making Jungkook feel more agitated. "You weirdo!" That was the last straw and you finally released the beast that was hidden inside the bunny looking guy's facade. He raised a hand and let it drop to slap your face harshly, leaving a scratch in the process. The impact was so hard it got your head tilting to the side.

He panted heavily, his eyes looking like they were about to pop off from his sockets with how much he opened them from so much anger. "You... stupid bitch!" Then, he gave you another slap that brought tears to your eyes as you held your cheek where it stung the most. He took your cheeks digging his fingers onto the flesh that connected your cheekbone and jaw and made you face him getting you sobbing in pain.

Your tears dropped down your face, but he couldn't care less. In fact, he loved the way you cried. He loved the way each drop fell from your face and to the floor. "S-stop.. you're —Ah!" You screamed once Jungkook dug his fingers even more forcing you to open your mouth.

His eyes panned over your crying face and licked his lips, before his smirk got even wider. "Damn, M/n. Didn't know you could make your face look even prettier. You look so cute right now." He said, then angrily lets go of you making sure to leave you crying. He got back up and sighed while pushing his hair back, looking down towards his crotch and chuckled. "Fuck, M/n. Look what you did to me?" He turned to you and shamelessly showed you the tent on his pants as he started to palm himself. "You got me so fucking hard."

You side eyed him kicked him by the shin that got him wincing in pain. "You have serious issues. Get some—"

Jungkook was fast to recover from the pain and punched your face that was sure to leave a bruise. "You little shit!" He threw his fists one more time towards you, almost breaking your nose.

While you tried to treat yourself from the pain, you suddenly heard the sound of Jungkook hastily unbuckling his pants and let his fly flew open. Jungkook took a fistful of your hair, pulling on it making you whimper that the other male only found pleasing to his ears. "Now, be a good boy and do as I say." He said, then approached your ear and whispered. "Suck."

You could have simply punched him on the face or kick his balls, but knowing Jungkook, you feared that he'd give you more than just throwing punches. Hell, he'd even be capable of killing you. So, with hesitant and shaking hands you reached over the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down, his big cock springing to life hitting your face that made you look away. You looked up at him with fear in your eyes.

You didn't want to take that. It was huge and looked like it would destroy your throat if you ever tried to take him into your mouth. "Jungkook.. I.. we can still talk this out."

"Fuck!" He impatiently yelled and once again held your cheeks and forced your jaw to fall open before he shoved his dick inside your mouth, a shocked choking noise coming out from you. Jungkook sighed in satisfaction his head falling backwards while guiding your head on his cock. "Daammmn, M/n~" He hummed with his eyes closing in ecstasy.

Tears pricked on the side of your eyes and gagged whenever the male's tip hit the back of your throat. You dared to look up at him with a very pitiful face that brought you nothing, but a groan from Jungkook who got more turned on from the look on your face. With that, he fastened his pace and let his cock dive deeper into your wet cavern, then deciding to let you take all of him making him howl while you tried your very best to move away from his strong grip on your hair.

He stays for a good couple of seconds to let you adjust to his size, while you gulped and swallowed around his cock that got Jungkook growling before losing all his patience and drilled his dick in your mouth at a very unexpected and rough pace that made your tears fall down your face as you sobbed loudly and muffled out words that was barely understood by the other male who continuously fucked your mouth, not that he cares anyways.

Jungkook, the first time you met him, he was a very sweet and kind person, just like Kim Taehyung, the person your heart beats for. Jungkook always picked you up from your dorm and would offer to treat you to breakfast without any exchange. With that face of Jungkook, you had thought that he would be a useless jerk and a playboy who goes around breaking people's hearts, male or female, and you were right. Moreso now that Jungkook is literally planning on destroying your throat.

Jungkook bucked his hips forward, reaching further down your throat that made you feel bile rising from your throat, but you got yourself swallowing it and shivered in disgust. Jungkook thrusted his cock inside your mouth and went at an even faster pace, your eyes rolled back tears falling down your cheeks, your lips perfectly curled over taking the shape of his cock. At this point you weren't thinking clearly, all you could ever think of was getting this done and over with while Jungkook fucked your mouth and didn't even care for you.

Jungkook increased the pace of his thrusts and you barely even registered his size when your teeth accidentally scraped the skin of his rod, the male, in instinct, pulled away and cursed under his breath, then landed a rough slap across your face making you hold your face. "FUCK! Look what you did?" The smooth flesh of his shaft was now painted with crimson red, the mark that was caused by the gash, visible on the base of his cock.

"You... that was your fault.. asshole." You said, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and glared at him furiously.

Jungkook's eyes peered down at you the same way you looked at him. "Don't you dare—"

"M/n! M/n! Goodness, where could have that kid gone?" That all too familiar voice called out your name as your eyes widened and smiled now that your saviour has arrived.

"Sunbae! I'm over here!" You screamed out, smirking to yourself before a sound of footsteps approached your cubicle and he knocked ont he door.

"Are you here, M/n?" His deep, but gentle voice asked you.

"Yes." You meekly replied and what you heard next made your smile falter.

"Fuck, Jungkook. You should have told me. I wanted to have some fun too." Taehyung said, and although you couldn't see it, you could sense the smirk on his face from the sound of his voice. How did he know Jungkook was here?

Jungkook heaved up his pants after he wrapped paper towels around his bleeding manhood and fixed himself. He opened the door for Taehyung and the younger of the two dragged you out of the cubicle and moved to lock the door before he shoved your body towards the sink. You groaned in pain and held your stomach in disbelief that the least person you ever expected be involved in such terrible things was also a part of the plan. "This little bitch fucking made my cock bleed."

"Oh, really, now?" Taehyung smirked and waisted his hands.

"T-Taehyung-sunbae.. you're in this too?" You asked with a shaking body.

Taehyung scoffed, then placed his hands inside his pockets and neared you. He laid a finger on your chin and pushed them up so you could face him whilst your lips quivered from the feeling of betrayal. "Are you asking what's obvious, M/n?" He smirked before his finger left your face and tilted his head faking an innocent look. "Course I was. Why else would I be so kind to you?"

"You... Why?" You managed to ask, but Taehyung had been waiting for so long and he could no longer wait anymore.

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Do you still plan on asking nonsensical questions? 'Cause I'm not having any of it." Jungkook kicked the back of your knee, forcing you to be on your knees kneeling down in front of Taehyung. "Suck. Use your teeth and this will be the last time you'll see light." He threatened you and you could only nod naively with tears falling down your face.

You reached over the buckle of his belt and started to unfasten it, loud sobs erupting from your mouth. How could you have not see this coming? You should have. Taehyung was Jungkook's friend and heard rumors about the two going on about the place to find a person to fuck, be it a girl or a boy. You should have just listened to Hyejoo. She was the one who kept telling you that Taehyung was not a person to trust nor a person to be with. He's just pure red flags and now, you could see it with your own eyes.

You unzipped his pants after you have unbuttoned it and let them fall down to his ankles while your clammy hands moved to remove his boxers. His erect dick sprang into action, almost hitting your face. You looked up at him and tried to change his mind by showing him the fear you were in and tried to beg for mercy, but just like the other, he only liked the way you looked so vulnerable in your state. "Continue making that face and I might just let you go." He said with a sly smirk that became unnoticed by you as you nodded your head in reply.

You sniffed and sobbed, then took his cock into your hand and jerked him off, your fingers barely even touching each other from the size of his dick. You looked up at him while Taehyung groaned and knitted his brows in pleasure. Your eyes both locked with each other, before you proceeded to wrap your lips around the pink bulbous tip of his immeasurable length and played with it by swirling your tongue around the head. You would occasionally look up at Taehyung whose eyes always watched your every move, making you blush a little bit, before you removed him from your mouth and decided to lick the underside of his member in attempt to please the male who groaned and started to tangle his hand with your hair. "Kookie, look. He listens to me so well." Jungkook huffed and crossed his arms as if Taehyung had just took a stuffed toy from him.

Taehyung's attention went back to you when you finally had your lips around his cock and moaned in satisfaction as he pushed his head backwards. You took this as a sign that Taehyung was feeling good and felt your chest swell with pride, despite the fact that Taehyung had already had people who made him feel this good, but the feeling of success that you made him feel pleasure only drove you to do better.

You didn't want to like it, but if it's Taehyung the only thing in your mind was to just submit to him and follow his every order like a dog. You inserted inches of his dick inside your mouth and started to suck at an agonizingly slow pace, but nonetheless Taehyung felt like he was in cloud-nine. "Fuck, baby. Go deeper." You took his order and inserted a few more inches, now his dick halfway inside your mouth as Taehyung whistled and fisted your hair making you groan, the vibrations sending sensations down Taehyung's big package while he moaned. "Damn, shit."

From the side of your eyes, you could see Jungkook glaring at you two. He clearly was angry that you two were having fun and here he was having to deal with the pain you placed him in. You were side-eyeing Jungkook trying to tease him more by smirking widely, until it was wiped away from your face when Taehyung grabbed your head and pushed all of his length inside your mouth reaching further down your throat making you choke while you tried to relax your gag reflex and looked up at Taehyung with tears in his eyes. "Oh, fuck. Shit, baby. I'm so sorry. You're mouth just felt so good." He told you with furrowed brows and wiped your tears away from the side of your eyes before he caressed your face as you leaned to his touch.

You knew Taehyung could possibly be only staging his care for you, but you never cared anymore. You gave his thigh a tap to tell him that you were fine and he thankfully understood when he started to rock his hips slowly into your mouth, gradually increasing his pace. You felt yourself start to leak precum throughout the whole time that Taehyung thrusted his cock in your mouth.

Jungkook had enough and settled himself behind you as he whispered into your ear. "Does Taehyungie taste good, M/n? Hmm?" Jungkook's hot breathe hit the back of your neck as you felt his hands snake under your uniform's polo and reached up to play with your erect buds. He flicked and pinched your nipples while you moaned in pleasure, Taehyung moaning louder. "Are you gonna answer me, M/n or not?"

You nodded your head as though to tell him that you were gonna answer him, but you pointed towards your mouth to tell Jungkook that your mouth was full. "Oh, your mouth's dick-filled, huh?" You nod your head again and Jungkook chuckled deeply. "Is that so?" He looked up at Taehyung and perked his head up. "Faster, hyung. I think our fuck toy needs more."

Taehyung complied and drilled his dick into your mouth at a pace you couldn't handle, your eyes widening in shock and rolled back in pleasure. You were in euphoria. You liked how rough Taehyung was with your mouth you never even noticed you have already came creating a wet patch on your pants.

"Ohh, look. Someone's a little too sensitive." Jungkook whispered, one hand moving down to your ass kneading your butt cheeks as if they were dough and continued to do this until he was finally able to process how supple your bubble butt was.

You couldn't think straight anymore. You just felt so good. Your mouth getting abused, how Jungkook caressed your body and the way Taehyung pulled on your hair, all of it made you feel like you were in heaven. You felt ecstatic. You still could make out the voice of Taehyung who let out chains of curses and grunts as he inhumanely sped up on his thrusting. "M/n! Ah, shiiit! Mmmmh, fuck, baby. So good for me, huh? Taking my whole cock."

You closed your eyes as you succumb to the feeling, now making use of your tongue that only stayed in one position the whole time. You swirled and played with his cock trying to follow the rhythm of his unbelievable speed, Taehyung moaning. "Damn it, M/n. You really know how to make a man feel real good, huh? Guess I wasn't wrong when I said you'd make a good toy." Taehyung smirked and never stopped from slamming his dick in your mouth.

After a few more thrusts, Taehyung pulled his still erect dick from your mouth as you looked up at him with a pout. "But.. but, sunbae still wasn't able to cum."

"Don't worry, M/n." Taehyung bent down to your height with a growing smirk. "There's more than just one way to make your sunbae cum."

"R-reallly? Tell me, tell me!" You desperately asked the older who looked at Jungkook and the latter looked at him.

"Let me show you." Jungkook said before he got you up on your feet and pulled you inside a cubicle, Taehyung following behind with his exposed dick, throbbing like crazy from the sight of you being such a good slut for them. Jungkook sat on the closed toilet while you stood in front of him, Taehyung placing himself behind you. "C'mere. Hold onto my shoulders." He curled his fingers at you and you immediately did as he was told. You held his shoulders, while Taehyung positioned your lower half so it would face him. You gasped when Taehyung, without any hesitation, pulled your pants down the cold air making contact with your ass that was now in full display.

You heard Taehyung tut his tongue staring at your butt making you blush bashfully. "M/n. Are you a virgin?"

You gulped, then buried your face on the crook of Jungkook's neck and nodded your head. "Y-yes."

"Damn. Then, I don't think you'd be able to—"

"No, I can take it, sunbae. Please, just please fuck me!" You pleaded as if it was the end of the world, looking back at Taehyung who was smirking widely. "I've always wanted to be fucked by you, sunbae."

"Really?" He wiggled his brows at Jungkook, who only rolled his eyes. "Then, I'll make sure that your first would be a memory to remember."

Without any preparation, Taehyung aligned his dick to prod at your entrance making you gasp. "Wait, sunbae aren't you gonna prep—AH, FUCK! P-PULL OUT! IT HURTS!" You evidently winced, but your words fell into deaf ears as Taehyung continued to push his tip further down your hole. "Ah! Sunbaee!" You said and tried to look back, when Jungkook took you by the chin and placed his lips on yours passionately kissing you. Your eyes widened in shock, but melted into the kiss anyways and replied to the unexpected invitation.

He pulled away, much to your dismay and whimpered forgetting about the pain in your ass. "Why'd you have to lie to hyung, M/n? I was all your first. I was there to take all your innocence away." He whispered lowly into your ear, making sure it was only you and him who could hear. Luckily, Taehyung was a groaning mess. Growling here and there with every opportunity he could get while still pushing in slowly into your hole. "Is this what you wanted? Hmm?"

"Y-yes, Kookie." You closed your eyes and hugged Jungkook by the neck. "Kook, M'sorry for biting. M'really sorry." You unconsciously apologized, your brain still too far away from being in this place.

"It's alright." Jungkook smiled. "But, you have to be really obedient next time. Okay, M/n?"

"Yes, Kookie. Ye—Ah!" You let out a loud gasp the moment Taehyung was able to slide all of his length inside you.

"Fuck, baby. That felt like you swallowed my whole dick inside you. Do you really want it so badly?" Taehyung asked you seductively and trailed kisses from your neck down to your back in attempt to ease every tense muscle in your body that was caused from the pain.

"Y-yes, sunbae. I want it so, so bad—AAAAH!" An ear splitting scream emitted from your mouth making Jungkook look away from you. Taehyung didn't give you any warning nor Jungkook when he suddenly fucked you into pure bliss. "Sunbae, sunbaee. Nnngh~ Ahh! Good.. GOOD!"

"Yeah?" Taehyung panted heavily as he thrusted at a pace you couldn't even let your ass get wind of. "Then, I'll make you feel even better." Taehyung said and hammered his dick into you as if it was a very easy task and groaned loudly, howling at how much you clenched around his dick. You were about to open your mouth to say something, when Taehyung hit that bundle of nerves that made you see stars your tongue rolling out of its place. "Found it."

Taehyung gladly abused that same area and hit it with every thrusts, with every hit eliciting a moan from you. Jungkook didn't want to feel left out, so he locked his lips with yours once again sucking on your tongue that made you moan, the noise getting swallowed by the older male who had caught your lips. Jungkook now, played with your tongue swirling around at a choreography he obviously led.

Taehyung saw that he wasn't gaining any attention when he was clearly the one who was making you feel satisfied right now with his own dick and there you were happily making out with Jungkook, jealousy rising in his chest. In anger, he pulled himself out of you only to slam his dick back inside you making you let out a lewd noise from your mouth, forcing you to move away from Jungkook's lips. "Attention here, M/n. I'm the one making you feel good."

You nodded your head while Taehyung leaned his body and moved your head to look at him and pulled you in for a rough kiss. Jungkook noticed that Taehyung was trying to get all your attention for himself only and he didn't like it one bit. If anything, he should have been the one fucking your ass into oblivion had not been for his bleeding penis. Jungkook growled possessively and glared at Taehyung who only side eyed the younger as he continued to thrust his dick in and out of you at an animalistic pace.

It was you who pulled away from Taehyung, feeling bad that Jungkook wasn't getting any of your recognition that he deserved. "Kookie..." You said while your ass was getting pounded angrily by Taehyung, as your tears fell down your face from the pleasure that you felt. You parted the male's bangs and placed a kiss on his forehead shaking as you felt yourself grow weak from how much Taehyung fucked your ass, the bliss making your knees buckle the only thing that supported you from standing was Taehyung's strong hands that gripped on your hips tightly.

"Fuck, I'm near. So fucking near." Taehyung said, as you also felt the same.

"I-Inside me, sunbae. Please, breed me. Make me pregnant." You weakly told the male out of pure desperation and eagerness.

"Shit, M/n!" Taehyung growled loudly as he gritted his teeth from how strong he rammed his cock into you. Loud skin slapping and wet noises emitted from the two of you as his thrusts started to get sloppy. "I'm cumming. Cumming!"

"Yes, yes! Ah!" You let out a high pitched moan whilst Taehyung buried his length inside of you and stayed there painting your walls with his cum, finishing inside of you.

Taehyung panted thrusting a few more times to ride out his high. After, he pulled out of you and watched as his thick liquid he filled you with dripped down from your ass. Your legs finally gave in and fell to the floor, you fainting from so much exhaustion.

---------

Your eyes fluttered open feeling yourself laid on something soft. You finally realized that you were resting on the bed inside the clinic when you sat up and looked around. You felt your head throb a little as you held your head and tried to recall what happened. "What the hell..." Then, everything that happened this morning came rushing back into your head making you heave out a loud sigh in disbelief. You did it again. You let someone have their way with you again. Also, one thing that stuck to your head was what Taehyung said. "So, sunbae, wasn't really genuinely kind... to me?"

The door to the room clicked open and you immediately went back to your sleeping position and acted asleep. Footsteps approached you and stopped in their tracks. You heard a person sigh. "Fuck... This is all your fault."

"Me?! You were the one who planned all this!"

"Who the fuck got so angry just 'cause he wasn't getting any attention?"

"Well, who... well.."

"Stop!" You interrupted the two fearing that their arguing would grow worse.

Their heads turned to you and you swore that you could see both of them sparkle in delight. "M/n!" They ran to you and hugged you. "M/n, oh my goodness. Are you hurt somewhere? Hmm? Tell me."

"Nowhere in particular, but—Ah, stop!" You said and held both of your hands up at them as though to tell them to be quiet. "I'm... I'm..." Your eyes looked up at Taehyung, hurt evident in your eyes before you finally cried pulling your knees close to your chest.

"Oh, fuck. M/n! I'm so sorry. Please, don't take what I said seriously. It was just, you know, a script. I was being real when I treated you and your friend kindly. Honest." Taehyung said all in one go to defend himself, regretting ever thinking of saying those things. He knew it would hurt you, but he still went for it. "Forgive sunbae, M/n. I didn't mean it."

You sobbed and sniffed, wiping your tears. "Really?"

"Yeah." Taehyung replied.

Jungkook was a very big baby and didn't know what to do in these type of situations, so in result he climbed up on the bed and gave you a big hug, the hug turning into a cuddle session. You hated Jungkook with all your guts, but why? Why did you let him do what he wants from you? "Kookie... You.. are you okay?"

Jungkook nodded his head. "Yeap. Thankfully, it wasn't a deep cut, but that would be a lesson for me not to mess with a person like you." He chuckled awkwardly making you laugh lightly.

"Hey, not fair. You both get to cuddle." Taehyung whined, shaking your head in disbelief.

"Come on here." You told Taehyung and he gladly crawled towards you as you repositioned yourself to straddle his thighs, while Jungkook placed himself behind you, supporting Taehyung from carrying your weight. "I like this." You said and rested your back against Jungkook's hard built chest before placing a kiss on his chin.

"Uhm... M/n...? We were meaning to ask you." Taehyung started. You hummed in reply while Taehyung blushed shyly. "Would you be fine to enter a.. uhm.. polyamorous relationship with us?"

You looked at Jungkook, then at Taehyung, then back at Jungkook. You pointed at yourself and tilted your head to the side. "Me? Are your sure?"

"Yes. You and only you." Jungkook answered and planted a kiss on top of your head.

You giggled and nodded your head. "I'll be more than happy to."

On the other hand, Hyejoo was busy taking photos eating her sandwich away. "This is so cute."

[mettywiththenotes]

Izuku’s Emotional Neglect

Hi so I’m not okay because I keep thinking about Izuku

This kid has been emotionally neglected since he was little. Izuku has had NOBODY to rely on emotionally

He didn’t have Inko, or his classmates, or All Might. Actually, All Might is borderline the only one he’s confided in [since they talk briefly about their connection of being quirkless], but he still holds back

Inko is trying her best and no parent is perfect, I see that, but what she said to Izuku that fateful night damaged that boy and the way he saw himself.

He asks her if he can be a hero, and she cries and says she’s sorry. Not only does this imply that Izuku’s quirklessness is bad, it also implies that she was lying.

And by the way, I don’t mean that Inko ACTUALLY lied that Izuku could be a hero, nor do I think that she meant to mean his quirklessness was bad.

But I need, NEED, to stress that this is how Izuku sees it. This is how he would perceive it, subconciously.

If you’re a child and you think that you can be a hero, your parent encourages it because it makes you happy. But then suddenly you can’t be a hero, and you ask them one more time if it’s possible, hoping that those little wishes you made weren’t fruitless, that maybe somehow this is some kind of dream and she’ll wake you up from it with her smile and her warmth, promising that even with this newfound “disability” you can still be a hero, but instead she cries and apologises to you? That’s going to make you think. It’s going to make you think “Was she lying? if she truly believed in me, why would she cry and say she’s sorry? why isn’t she encouraging me, like she always does? what is happening?”

It’s not the truth, and Inko DIDN’T lie, but subconsciously I feel like it’s something that betrayed Izuku a great deal.

And with the quirklessness. He hates it, he hates feeling useless, and he saw himself as useless when he was quirkless, therefore -> quirkless is something weak and awful.

Time and time again, we see this evidence of the emotional neglect he was subjected to. It’s like actively ongoing and the effects of it are seen even now

We’ll start with the Inko one. I just mentioned it, but here are the panels. It’s really just the language that she uses

“You mean there’s something wrong?”

Apologizing over and over again, like not being normal was a bad thing. Moreso, I think this just meant that she knew how hard Izuku’s life was going to be as a quirkless person, but the way she says it makes it sound like what happened to Izuku was wrong and bad and incredibly awful

Then we have All Might disregarding his feelings and telling him straight up that he couldn’t be a hero

Which then leads to this commentary

“Don’t cry! Let it sink in!!” “Just block it out, just block it all out, just-”

*pats Izuku on head* You Can Fit So Much Denial And Repression Into This Kid!

Then further along, Izuku is seen, and he gets the quirk. He is then surrounded by people that love him, that want to help him, but it’s almost like even the narrative won’t let him have emotional closure.

In most emotional closure scenes (Tsuyu crying, Kirishima vs Rappa, Iieda in the hospital with Shouto and Izuku, Kacchan vs Deku 2), there is an end to it. The character is emotional, crying or upset, and thinking back on their regrets, spilling their guts as they scream, sob, or give solemn expressions. The other characters then cheer/hype them up, reaching some sort of conclusion to the character’s pain, and the situation is more or less resolved.

But that’s not the case with Izuku. He’s always left sorta hanging there, or his hurt and anger get sidetracked by something else. One example of this is the Running With All Might scene in the UA grounds

Izuku is incredibly upset that All Might chose to withhold information on Sir Nighteye and Mirio, and he speaks about how he can’t make sense of it. He’s voicing all his worries to All Might as they run, because he can’t stand the thought of All Might keeping something like this a secret from him.

And then All Might tells him why he kept it a secret, that he didn’t feel it was necessary to let Izuku know about Nighteye’s bias, and then it divulges into him telling Izuku he’s gonna die, and Izuku focuses on that instead.

I am NOT saying that All Might did this purposefully. He didn’t try and steer Izuku’s anger away from him, it was just that it all got revealed so suddenly, so the subject changed.

The narrative tosses Izuku’s feelings of anger aside, and instead Izuku gets emotional over All Might’s potential death. Idk man, to go from angry and upset about withheld information and then immediately shoved into the knowledge that your mentor-father figure is gonna die? That’s the narrative playing with Izuku’s feelings.

Obviously, All Might’s communication skills are awful and he just kinda unloaded all this stuff on Izuku cuz he didn’t think to tell him in the first place, but I still think Izuku’s feelings got pushed around here. He had no time to process any of it

Another example is the cafeteria scene with Shouto and Iieda

The scene goes that Izuku is visibly depressed by the Eri situation and Iieda and Shouto notice. They tell him that he can talk to them when everything gets too much [a parallel to the Stain fight], and Izuku cries. Izuku insists he shouldn’t cry, and Shouto tells him that, actually, Heroes cry too sometimes, and they offer him their food in an attempt to comfort him.

But the thing is, this scene doesn’t offer closure. Closure would be Izuku seeing that he could rely on his friends and telling them how he feels [he wouldn’t have to necessarily tell them about Eri - maybe just phrase it in another way that doesn’t reveal the mission]. Closure would be Izuku accepting that Heroes can cry too, and admitting he’s not okay. Instead, we have this

The scene feels... incomplete? Like there’s no knot at the end of the rope. Izuku is being comforted, but he’s not acknowledging his own feelings of sadness.

In fact, he’s shoveling food into his mouth to stop himself from crying, to shut himself up, to try and move forward and get past his little outburst.

I would go as far as to say this is self hatred eating, trying to quell that vulnerable part inside

I wouldn’t say Izuku HATES himself now. Rather, he just makes connections to his past quirkless self in his mind. It’s the negative emotion connection

Feeling weak? Well, you’re still like your quirkless self before! You’re still not good enough and useless!

Not strong enough? Sounds like back when you were quirkless! All weak and helpless! You can’t help anyone, which is why you need to get stronger, so you can move on from your past self!

Crying? Just like when you were quirkless! You always cried back then, like a helpless kid! You can’t be like that anymore, since you are now All Might’s Successor and A Hero, so stop crying! You’re not allowed to cry anymore!

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Izuku continuously represses these emotions as he gets stronger because he connects them to when he was quirkless. If you associate certain behaviors and emotions with how you were during a vulnerable and traumatic time in your life, you’re going to want to shove those emotions down so you don’t repeat what happened back then [in this case, Izuku sees himself being vulnerable as weak, and he saw himself as weak when he was quirkless, so he’s trying not to be vulnerable anymore].

And the scary thing is, now, we can even see the hatred in real time. I’m sure there are other examples in the manga, but one scene is very prominent in my mind, and it’s this one

Izuku is so incredibly strong now, he has saved many people, but he still can’t view himself as anything other than “useless” or “helpless” unless he powers through death itself just to break himself more. He almost feels like he HAS to do that in order to be seen as worthy, for himself and others. When he’s struggling, bleeding and heavily injured, he yells at himself as if it’s all his fault.

It’s not about whether he’s aware he’s actively dying or not. To him, being worthless and useless is infinitely worse than dying.

Actually, the way Izuku practically yells at himself in this panel reminds me of when he was walking home in chapter 1 after his chat with All Might [shown above when talking about All Might’s impact]

There are two translated versions of this actually that ring alarm bells in my head. There is the panel already pictured above, but I chose this panel too because I simply think it hits harder

“Don’t cry! You knew already, right?! This is reality...”

In either translation, he’s chiding himself. For crying. For being emotional.

And once again, I totally think this stems from emotional neglect. Trying not to get too personal here, but I know what this feels like, and I know the effect it has had on me. I can’t be vulnerable or spill my feelings in front of people, it just feels illegal or smthg. Like it shouldn’t be done. And like... if you’re taught from an early age that, one way or another, your feelings don’t matter and that nobody is going to pay attention to you, why try, right?

Then you just begin to Not Feel Properly, and you become incapable of expressing your feelings in a healthy manner

Current examples of this?

Izuku literally not giving himself time to process anything, like worry, grief, sadness. If anything, the only emotion he gives time for is anger. And he specifically directs it at All For One, cause that’s his target. [we saw little bits of this in War Arc but it also applies to the current arc]

He can’t cry. He feels emotional, sure. But he never lets his tears shed.

And one last bit of evidence

I’d say most if not all of these sound about right

In conclusion I wanna hug Izuku

[muffindaddystyles]

HUSBAND!HARRY HEADCANONS (NSFW+)

He'd be an excited puppy at his wedding day. Getting emotional to an extent he'd stutter his vows only to shove his face into his palms out of shyness and hug you making everyone laugh and hoot.

At the after party would be pulling you close by wrist whispering dirty things and sweet nothings not forgetting to mention of Mr/Mrs. Styles each time.

Danced and drink his arse off making you sneak with the whines that he can't wait anymore to take you instead knacker out the moment he touches the mattress.

Would apologise in the morning with room service, his mouth and fingers.

Would be smothering you in loud wet kisses when you'd dress up to go outside with him.

Wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself even in public and steal pecks when no-one's watching. The whole time lacing his fingers in between yours, swaying them when walking through streets of italy and kissing each knuckle with a smile worming up.

You would drag him to local food stalls and have an eating competition with him. In the end when you'd get too lazy would be all pouty and doe eyes asking him to pick you up.

Alot of love making. Like alot it would make you cancel plans of next day.

Lazying around the suite in Styles embroidered robes.

He'd have flowers bought to you every morning. Pastel heart shaped boxes of different chocolates. He's too romantic. It rots your teeth.

Would have tea in the evening at hotel's balcony.

If you'd be two feets away from somewhere outside he'd call you "wifey/hubby" to gain your attention. The cocky bastard he's would point at you when everyone would smile at the new couple fondly.

You'd groan at the airport stomping your feet because he bulked up so much luggage due to his habit of drooling over every decoration piece, "'m sorry! Kay? I'll ask Jeff to figure something out." He'd give you sheepish smile and it always does wonders.

Coming back home you'd give eachother back rubs and shoulder messages which soon turns into a hard fuck.

He'd book spas for you stating he wishes that you don't find him a boring husband.

Would proudly introduce you to everyone as his life partner tucking you by his side knowing you get socially akward in the crowds.

Would help you in the kitchen in burning pots and pans squealing to have a run when you'd get grumpy. Would come to bed after scrubbing them nicely and you'd jump in his lap telling it's okay and rewarding him with kisses.

The first big fight you'd have would lit up from the stupidest reason. Could be from fact he didn't like the fictional character you love so much and you mock him that he always does this leading it to a huge fight that he doesn't love you. Making him sleep at the couch only to crawl to him in the wee of night and he'd just sprawl his arm for you to cuddle into him without a word.

Would look at lil toddlers and wrap his arms around you, chin on your shoulder exclaiming "we'll make beautiful babies one day too."

Would help you in laundry moreso his opportunity to stare your ass and tease you. Making you sit at the dryer to watch you thrash with vibrations while he does nothing but kiss you everywhere except where you need him most to annoy you.

Would sternly tell you to give a resign to your job as they treat you bad.

Would ask someone in his rich friends circle for your job and it would be the cause of your guys first serious fight where you don't talk to him for days, then when you'll cry softly in his arms "do you think 'm not capable of getting a job that you'd have to ask your friends?" So innocently it breaks his heart and he smooches kisses at your forehead with sorrys that it wasn't his intention at all.

Would have lavender and salt baths running for eachother after a hectic day.

Would share excited news with eachother first.

He'd make you listen his songs and would be all giddy fumbling with the hem of your cardigan. When you'd sob his head would perk up like a pup and he'd wipe your tears only for you to ask, "Wait. How did you write such a sad breakup song? We had our fights but they weren't thatttt serious." Then he'd just slip under duvet to hide and you'd throw it away slithering up his chest to suffocate him. "Harry!!! You bitch I'll kill you!!" He'd just laugh out loud trying to cup your cheeks and kiss you.

Would drag you late nights to have ice-cream parlour visits.

When he'd get sick would make you stay with him in bed all day. Follow you to kitchen wrapped in blankets and when you'd scold would slump. Look so cute with those teary eyes it's hard to ignore him.

Would give you mischievous glare and dimpled smile while writing from Mr and Mrs Styles on presents or something to gift.

He could be very messy and dirty sometimes. You'd throw his soggy socks at his face from the floor and he'd just dodge them with a snarky retort.

You guys would gossip with eachother while watching telly. He'd have imaginary feuds with your rude co-workers and would snap his finger while chewing on pringles in a loud voice, "Brent and Vroe are fucking. Mark my words."

When you'd scream "Harry Styles I hate you!" He'd just grin from far smacking a flying kiss. "Too bad darlin' ye're stuck with your enemy."

He'd try to be the best husband for you because when Harry loves someone he loves with each drop of his blood.

When you'd be away from home for sometime and come back to surprise him finding your house a cluster fuck he'd be like "don't be mad. I know I'm too lazy and it's a bummer.'

On the wedding anniversary he'd try to be the most romantic. Making you count each day to the amount you'd get annoyed.

Would have a tattoo for you inked on himself.

While trying to have a baby he'd be the filthiest. Would keep your legs raised and when you'd whine would sush with you kisses.

Fuck you in every corner of the house to claim you his's with marks and love bites, "do you think we did this time?" He'd huff face hidden in the crook of your neck.

Make brekkies and have dances when the vinyl is on low hum.

Would take you to Taylor Swift's concerts knowing how much you love her. Have a blast and would give you a piggie ride when it ends.

He'd look sick from anxiousness while taking pregnancy test and when it comes out positive would shrink like a shrimp and sob out loud instead of hugging you. You'd just roll your eyes laying beside him taking his face and making him look at him, "We're pregnant." His nose red and cheeks stained. "We are." You'd grin kissing him.

Next morning you'd be treated with delcious brekkie, a nice sloppy morning sex, in the shower too and a bouquet of flower with a note "To the mother of my baby."

He'd record everything on his camera roll. Each day. Your routine. Your bump. With his side cheeky commentary, "Hi me lil bunny look you're growing. Can't wait to have you in me arms. Mama's glowin'."

Would take maternity break for himself to be with you through these months.

Would gobble junk with you knowing you'd be guilty afterwards.

Would massage your feet before sleeping, fill hot water bottles, and have a whole night stand's cupboard full of your night cravings.

"How Chelsea sounds?" He'd quip from behind the baby names book, "I can't tell if you're serious." You'd blink and when his expressions remains same you'd cry. "Harry you love Chelsea boots so much doesn't mean you could name your child that!!" Then it turns into a long lecture. "Yeah, can't wait for our baby boy to be named Tom Ford cause his daddy's favourite perfume–" But he shut you up with a soft kiss and murmurs to relax.

He'd have his babies feet imprints inked on his bicep. (Sobs he'd be that kind of a dad)

Would be stoic on his descion to build all of his baby's furniture himself.

Would come up with creative ideas for baby shower.

When doctors would call him to cut the cord he'd be shivering and would probably knock his knees at the sight.

He'd be dressing up his kids in matching outfits as him. It would be super cute!!

You'd complain that he bribes his kids to drift to his side but he'd just make sure to let you know how lucky he's to have you. The person who gives him reason to live every day and his anchor.

He probably would be an embarrassing dad.

His daughter's friend's would tell her how hot he's and she'd tell him as a gossip.

He'd tease his son if he'd catch him masturbating on accident, "No worries buddy we all do it."

Ok this's the only I could think of right now. Feel free to add more with reblogs !!!! Wanna hear all of yours cause I'm bored lol.

[commonwealthoccurences]

Romanced!Companions React: Sole Was Abused Pre-War

TW: Spousal abuse and the aftermath/trauma that comes with that. Mention of alcohol (unrelated to the abuse)

Note: Gonna do some canon divergence/request divergence to make this gender neutral! Therefore, we’re going to say the breadwinner/working SO commonly abused their stay-at-home SO. I struggled with deciding whether or not to make this neutral, as it’s an important topic, but I feel as if women are most commonly represented in abuse and this is a good moment to stick to neutrality and non-gender-specific language and try to represent everyone who may be a victim of abuse. Thank you for reading!

Word Count: 6,088

The Scenario: Cait, Curie, Deacon, Gage, Hancock, MacCready, Piper, and Preston:

Sole and their companion made their way through Goodneighbor, on their way to visit Hancock. They made it about halfway through the entryway when Daisy called out, ushering the companion into her shop for a chat. They’d met a while ago when the companion first entered Goodneighbor, and swiftly became friends; Daisy’s dry-humored straight forward personality made for great conversation when they were passing through.

The companion and Sole split off with a swift kiss and went their separate ways. Daisy tossed a Nuka-Cola to the companion as they entered her shop, making a comment about putting it on their tab, and they began to chat. Eventually, as the minutes ticked into an hour, they got onto the topic of pre-war culture. Daisy chatted about her life before the bombs dropped and the companion listened intently. “Yeah, I wasn’t much for dating before the war.”

The companion looked up from their soda confused. “Well, why not?”

“Oh I was much more the stay-at-home type and that never boded well back then.”

“What do you mean?”

“I forget not everyone got glimpses into that world. Well, it was pretty normal for the working spouse, the breadwinner if you will, to abuse the stay-at-home spouse. No one really blinked at it. Didn’t wanna put myself in that situation for the sake of appealing to what people considered a normal life path, so I just stayed single. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, to be alone.

The companion was already lost in thought when she finished her sentence. Suddenly, a lot more things about their relationship made sense. The way Sole seemed to fight against their instinct to just agree with them, the way they flinched when the companion made abrupt movements. God, it made so much sense, and the companion just wanted to run out and hug them. Daisy seemed to notice this, and spoke softly. “Go see them, I can tell you want to. I’ll be here whenever you come back to Goodneighbor.”

Cait:

Cait seemed to cover the space between Hancock’s building and Daisy’s shop in just a few anxious footsteps. She took large strides, anxious to go see Sole, to verify that they didn’t think she would do something like that to them. She knew instinct was overpowering and it was a matter of survival for them, but her heart broke at the idea that they might think she’d be okay with hurting them. Gods, that’s the last thing she wanted to do.

The staircase to Hancock’s room was stretching endlessly despite her taking the stairs two at a time. She ignored the guards that looked her up and down as she strided towards the room, silently daring them to try and stop her with a glare. Of course, they knew she was with Sole, and simply redirected their attention elsewhere as she gave a sharp knock on the door. She waited for a few seconds before pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Sole was seated on the couch across from Hancock, laughing at something he said, when she turned and looked at Cait, surprised. “Oh, hey love. Daisy go back to work?” They asked, eyebrows raised at the pleasant surprise of her sudden appearance.

“Uhm, kinda. Need t’ borrow Sole real quick, Hancock.”

They suddenly looked worried, standing and flashing a brief smile before walking towards Cait, giving her a confused and alarmed look. She smiled back at them, but it was slightly tense and she knew they could tell. With a gentle hand on their back, she led them up another flight of stairs and into a dark corner, concerned about eavesdroppers. “What’s wrong, Cait?” They asked.

“You know I would never hurt ya, right?”

“What- where is this coming from?”

“I just- I was talking to Daisy. About pre-war, and…” She trailed off, shaking her head, unsure of what to say.

Sole stood still for a moment before the words clicked in her brain. Their energy seemed to fade abruptly and they avoided looking up at Cait. “Did your… did they ever hit you?” Cait choked out.

They looked up at Cait with a weak smile and nodded. She gritted her teeth and looked down at her feet, suppressing the anger that overcame her like a shock of ice water. “You’re not mad, right?” Sole asked quietly.

“Of course I’m mad, I-”

“There was nothing I could really do. I’m sorry. It was so normal back then.”

“Oh, Gods, Sole. Not mad at you, I could never be mad at you. I’m furious no one protected you. I’m furious I can’t kill the bastard myself.”

Cait opened her arms, giving them the option of pulling away if they were uncomfortable with a hug, considering the topic. They folded into her arms with a soft sigh, wrapping their arms around her like there was no tomorrow. She smelled of cigarettes and mutfruit, something they’d grown to consider the smell of home. Cait smoothed her hand up and down their back and tucked her chin onto their shoulder so she could speak softly into their ear. “That’ll never happen again, ya hear me? I won’ let anyone hurt ya. And I know that’s something I gotta show, cause words don’ mean much for shit like that, but I’ll show ya. Just give me time, yeah?”

“All the time you want, Cait.” They replied, their voice shaky.

“And I know it can be hard to say somethin’ but if I ever make ya uncomfortable, ya need to tell me. I won’ get mad, I wan’ ya to be as comfortable as possible.”

They nodded, their face rubbing against the fabric of her shirt. They gripped her tighter and sniffed quietly, trying desperately not to cry. Cait pulled away and brushed the back of her hand over their cheekbone. “Hey, everything’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure it all out together.”

Curie:

Curie, for the first time she could remember, felt sick to her stomach. Of course, she knew about the pre-war circumstances; it’d been part of her information training for Vault Tec. However, for some reason she’d never put the dots together that someone would do that to Sole of all people. Who the hell in their right mind would say they loved them and then hurt them like that?

As politely as she could manage, Curie said her goodbyes to Daisy, and made her way slowly to Hancock’s building. It was difficult to focus on where she was going despite her need to see Sole; the world was blurring in front of her as she tried to sort out her emotions. She flitted between rage and confusion, to sadness and guilt, then devastation and back again. 

The walk up the staircase was one of shame that Curie didn’t realize sooner what was going on with Sole and the weight they must’ve been carrying. She knew it was difficult to divulge that kind of information to a partner, but she wished she’d done more to show they could trust her. She paused outside the door, her fist raised to knock, but paused. Curie could hear their laughter ringing out from behind the door; this conversation could wait. They were so full of joy, it would hurt them both to take this moment away from them.

Instead, she took a deep breath and smiled. Then, she knocked on the door and cracked it open. Sole turned towards her with a wide smile. “Curie! Come sit, we’re just finishing up.” There was still a lilt of laughter in their tone.

Curie pushed the door open enough to squeeze through and shut it behind her before crossing the room to sit on the arm of Sole’s chair. Sole wrapped an arm around her waist without hesitation, leaning against her as they talked excitedly with Hancock. Another laugh shook their frame and Curie revelled in it, leaning back and rubbing a hand over their shoulder as she listened.

Eventually, Sole sighed and announced that they’d better get going before they wasted the whole day away talking. Hancock protested lightly, sad to see them both go, but accepted once Sole stood their ground. He waved them off with his usual playful vibe and the pair got up to leave. Curie took their hand and squeezed, moreso trying to reassure herself than anything else.

Sole gave her a curious glance but said nothing as they made their way back down the stairs and into the cool evening air. Curie led them to the Hotel Rexford, quiet as they ascended the stairs to their room. When they reached it, she shut the door softly behind them and paused, facing the door, unsure of what to say or how to start. “Curie, sweetheart, what’s wrong? You’ve been off since you came to see Hancock and I.”

“I had a talk with Daisy.” She started, pushing herself away from the door and walking over to stand in front of them. She took their hands in her own. “We talked about what life was like before the war and… the… relationship dynamic that was quite common back then.”

“Ah.” Sole came to realize what she was tiptoeing around and nodded, their face falling a bit.

“I apologize for not realizing sooner what you’ve gone through. I hope as we spend more time together you come to know that will never ‘appen again.” She moved to hug them slowly, wrapping her arms around their waist and resting her head on their chest.

They sighed and returned the embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I know you would never, Curie, it’s just habit. I’m sorry.”

“You ‘ave no reason to apologize for instincts that helped you survive, Sole. No part of that was your fault.”

Danse:

Danse had been researching pre-war life in the Brotherhood’s logs in order to better understand Sole. Of course, he could ask them questions, but he noticed how much they lit up when he said he’d heard of something they mentioned, as if they felt better understood. It wasn’t uninteresting, if he was honest. Hearing about a whole different world, with different rules and culture compared to the one he lived in was fascinating. The fact that Sole was part of both worlds, a foot in each, made his head ache. How they managed the two separate identities in their head he had no idea.

After a long night of reading he stumbled across the culture of married life pre-war. There was a flash of uneasiness that rushed through him, knowing they’d left behind a spouse in their vault. The thought that they may miss their spouse nagged at him late at night, wondering if he was good enough to follow up somebody that Sole found worthy of marrying. Unable to suppress his curiosity, he clicked into it.

Things clicked into place as he read what it was like being married back then. Sole flinching when he moved suddenly, their reluctance to get too close if he was in Power Armor, their expertise at dodging punches in combat despite telling him they were a stay-at-home parent before the war. He sat back in his chair, hand clutching his dog tags as he got lost in thought.

It was the gentle click of a door behind him and Sole’s voice that penetrated his thoughts. Quickly, he backed out of the information page and whirled around in his chair to face him. “Whoa, that was a guilty move.” They commented, laughing hesitantly as they looked him over, curiosity in their eyes. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” He said abruptly.

The hurt and confusion in their eyes at his tone made him change his mind immediately. He’d just gotten a look into their past, something they’d never be able to do to him; it was unfair for him to keep the information he’d discovered from them. “I… was researching.”

“Okay?”

“I was researching life before the war. The Brotherhood keeps all the information they gather on it. I wanted to understand what day-to-day life was like, to understand you better. To be able to talk to you on the same page.”

“What’s with the panic, then, love?”

“They had quite a bit of information on what married life was like back then.” He replied, his voice quieting.

“Oh.”

Their demeanor dropped in a flash. Their shoulders sank forward and they looked down at the ground, fumbling with their hands to distract themself. After a moment, they let out an awkward laugh. “Uh, is this where you tell me it’s too much?”

“What?”

“For you to deal with. All the shit I’m bringing with me.” They were still trying to choke out a laugh, but it sounded more like a suppressed sob.

“Jesus Christ, Sole, no!”

Danse tried to keep his tone from rising and got up from his chair, pushing it back as he stepped towards them. They looked up at him for a moment before redirecting their gaze, their eyes flitting around the room, restless. He placed his hands on their shoulders gently. “Please look at me?” He asked softly.

They looked at him, eyes red, and gave a weak smile. “I love you.” Danse definitely wasn’t one to say it so directly, so suddenly, but he needed them to know. “I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me and I’ll be damned if I let you get into your head and think otherwise, okay?”

Sole nodded, lips pressed together to prevent their mouth from quivering. He cupped their jaw with his hand and practically melted when they leaned into it, closing their eyes and bringing their own hand up to hold his. “We’ll talk about it eventually, when you’re ready. Not any sooner. But I love you and I need you to know that.”

“I love you, too.”

Deacon:

It was hard to put on the easy smile he usually wore and pretend he hadn’t just had his heart shattered on the pavement in Daisy’s shop. He’d heard rumors about what life was like before the bombs dropped, but it wasn’t exactly a priority to discuss a society that no longer existed when you’re fighting to survive in the one you’re part of. Deacon ran a hand over his scalp and forced himself to relax. “Sorry to cut things off so shortly, but I gotta go, Daisy.”

“You’re worried about them.”

Deacon didn’t respond, but it was enough for Daisy to nod. “Go.”

He eased into his usual casual walk as he made his way to Hancock’s building, climbing the stairs at a heavily regulated pace. He was suddenly conscious of every move he made; the steps he took, how fast he was walking, the way his arms swung at his sides as he moved. The grin he threw the guards was forced, but they seemed to not notice as he pushed open the door to Hancock’s room and his voice rang out with a cheerful, “Knock knock!”

Sole turned and gave him a beaming grin, laughter brightened eyes shining his direction. He wanted to capture that look forever as he crossed the room and pressed a soft kiss to their forehead, tossing himself down beside them dramatically. “Hancock, you’ve stolen them away from me for far too long.”

Hancock laughed in return. “Ah, don’t worry about little old me Sunshine, they won’t shut up about you, anyway.”

The flush on Sole’s face had fondness running through it. Deacon’s expression turned smug and he wrapped an arm around their shoulders, rubbing a thumb across their collarbone as they returned to their conversation. The grin slipped slightly as his thoughts returned to the conversation earlier and he swallowed harshly before forcing his attention back to the present. There was no doubt in his mind that Sole had already noticed something was off; they’d learned long ago how to read his body language down to the last detail.

The weight in his chest made itself known when the conversation ended and he and Sole stood, each wrapping Hancock in a tight hug before making their way out of the building. He tugged their hand in the direction of one of the alleys that decorated the back of Goodneighbor and led them down it, wanting to admit to the information he’d been told as soon as possible.

He rubbed a hand over his mouth and dropped the sad excuse for normalcy he’d been forcing. Sole took in a deep breath. “I knew something was wrong. What’s up?”

“I’m gonna start with I’m not mad at you. Not even remotely. I was just talking to Daisy and… she said some things that stuck with me.”

“Okay, can I ask what they were?”

“She told me what marriage was like back during the pre-war days. And it made me realize some things about our dynamic.”

Sole fell silent. It was hard for them to find the words to respond to that. They simply nodded in response and turned away, taking a deep breath to gather their thoughts. “I know you would never hurt me. There’s a reason I don’t need to keep an eye on you right now. But it's a habit, the flinching and stuff. It’s how I lived for years.”

“I know. And I hope eventually it’s something you no longer find necessary to keep at the forefront of your mind.”

Sole turned back around to face him with a small smile and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, giving another to the dimple that appeared when he started to smile. They took his hand in theirs and lifted it to press a kiss to each of his knuckles. “I trust you. I do. If there’s one person I can trust without hesitating, it’s you.”

Gage:

Raiders were a ragtag group of the widest range of personalities one could find across the wasteland. Most motivated by the same thing, wealth, but not always. Gage had encountered just about every type of raider, or so he thought, when he came across a history buff that joined the Pack. He nearly ripped his ears off when the raider launched into another rant about pre-war culture, not because it wasn’t interesting, but because they were supposed to be keeping watch and he hadn’t slept in two days.

Once the raider launched into the history of marriage culture, Gage started paying attention. He knew Sole used to be married and he couldn’t help but worry that he wasn’t living up to their expectations of some they would’ve dated before things got desperate. However, once the raider described it, he felt acid in his throat.

The idea that someone would have someone like Sole and not only take them for granted, but treat them so harshly? God, he wondered if he should start an alliance with the Institute and ask them to build a time machine so he could strangle their ex himself. Abruptly, he stood and announced the raider would be doing watch themself, and started walking back towards Sole’s quarters.

He had to see them now. To reassure them that everything would be okay, that he would rather put himself in one of the bomb collars than lay a hand on them. His pace quickened until he was lightly jogging through the misty evening, his gun in it’s holster hitting against his thigh with every step. The elevator ride up was too long for him to bear, his foot tapping anxiously against the metal flooring as it meandered upwards.

Sole would probably be in bed reading, or cleaning their gun with Dogmeat at their feet. He huffed out an anxious breath and walked onto the balcony, scanning the area. No sign of Sole other than a lantern on their desk. He pressed a hand against the glass and detected the slightest bit of warmth; they must’ve gone to their room recently. After double checking that the lantern was fully out he opened the door to the interior and stepped inside.

Warm air hit his skin with a light blast and he relished in the warmth and the smell of the soap Sole used to wash their clothes. It was such a contrast to the grease and sweat that permeated the raiders quarters and the odor of blood that surrounded the Disciples. He pried his boots off, toe to heel, and left them near the doorway before making his way farther inside.

Sure enough, Sole was lounged in their bed, a book they’d scavenged propped up against their raised leg. Relief filled him, though he didn’t know for what reason. He took a few more steps and launched himself onto the bed next to him, adjusting his positioning until his face was pressed against their shoulder. Immediately, he felt them shift, and the rustling of pages indicated they put the book down. “Gage, baby, what’s wrong?” They asked, resting a hand on his back.

He moved his face away from their arm and looked up at him. Of all the shit he’d seen as a raider and even before that, this hurt the worst, and it showed in the way he was struggling not to tear up. His jaw was clenched, his expression tense and riddled with guilt and the need for reassurance, like a lost puppy.

Sole didn’t ask again, not wanting to push him, and continued to rub his back, tracing patterns against his skin through his shirt. He brushed his nose against the fabric of their shirt and closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts as he laid there. The soft tracing against his back amplified the sharp pain in his heart at what he’d realized. He struggled to motivate himself for a moment before sitting up. “Babe, I have a difficult question for you.”

Sole’s eyebrows crept together in concern and they nodded, turning their attention towards him completely. “Before the war… did your spouse… did they ever hurt you?”

Their eyes widened and they looked away for a moment, obviously thinking for a second. “Why do you ask?”

“This raider… they told me stories about life before the war. And the way you act sometimes, like you’re protecting yourself. I’d hope to God I never gave you a reason to feel like you needed to protect yourself from me, so I figured since they said it was so common back then…”

“They’re right.” They replied simply, giving him a wry, sad smile.

“I’m sorry.”

Gage lifted his arm laying next to them, offering a space for them to cuddle into his side. They did so eagerly, their book next to their side, forgotten, as they ducked under his arm and rested their cheek against his chest. He squeezed them gently and bowed his head to kiss their temple. “I hope one day you never feel you have to keep that guard up, but I do want you to know I’m never gonna get upset that you feel you need to. I get that that’s what life was and how you protected yourself.”

They sniffled quietly and brushed their hand against their nose, causing him to rub their arm with a heavy breath. “Everything’s gonna be just fine, honey. Swear to ya.”

Hancock:

It was late in the evening as Farenheit, Sole, and Hancock gathered in his suit, chatting, alcohol in hand. Farenheit had a slight flush going, grateful for the guards that had taken over her duties for the night. Sole pulled their hand through their hair as they laughed at one of the comments Farenheit had made, throwing their entire weight against Hancock as their body shook with laughter. He grinned and took a swig of his own drink. “Y’know, I have to wonder what life was like before the war.” Farenheit said suddenly.

Sole tilted their head curiously. “Whaddya mean?”

“I mean, relationships here are just casual and stuff. You survive together and that’s that. But from what I’ve heard, dating culture was complicated, and marriage? Yeesh. Don’t get me started on that nightmare.”

With that comment, Sole stilled. Their drink shook a bit in their hand and they took in a deep breath, leaning forward to set the glass down on the table in front of them. Hancock pressed a hand against their shoulder to get their attention and saw right through the reassuring smile they sent his way. It didn’t reach their eyes the way it should.

He smoothed his hand down their arm calmly. “Hey, Fahrenheit. We appreciate the company, but I think we need to head to bed. Sole’s got an early mornin’, y’know.” He stretched his arms in an exaggerated show of his exhaustion and set his own glass down, standing.

Fahrenheit caught on rather quickly and cast a grin at the both of them before moving herself off the couch and heading towards the door. “Night, you two!”

Sole called a soft “Goodnight” after her and settled back into the couch, lost in thought. Hancock shrugged off his jacket and set his hat on one of the many tables that littered the room before moving to sit down next to them again. He pressed a kiss to their cheek. “I’m losin’ you sweetheart, come back to Earth for a moment for me.” His gravelly voice remained low and soothing.

They jumped slightly before turning and smiling at him, leaning sideways so they could rest their head on his shoulder. He turned his head so it was easier for them to hear him and mumbled quietly, “She hit a nerve, darlin’?”

“Yeah.” Their voice was fragile.

“I’m sorry, Sunshine, wish it hadn’t. You want me to stay or would you rather be alone right now?”

“Stay. Please. I trust you.”

“I’m glad.” His voice was warm, like a crackling fire.

There was a beat of silence. “I’d ring their neck if I could, you know.”

They let out a laugh, quiet, but reassuring nonetheless. “I’d let you.”

MacCready:

There was a stone in his stomach at the idea that someone could do that to their spouse of all people. Disgust settled in his chest. And to Sole of all people? No one deserved that, but Jesus, Sole was the most selfless, genuine person he knew. With a moment to steel himself, he gave his regards to Daisy, and started to make his way to Hancock’s building.

It was probably one of the most difficult walks he’d taken. He knew they were probably enjoying Hancock’s company and reassured himself that he’d be able to hide what he’d discovered long enough for them to relish the time they had with him. Mac readjusted the cap on his head and headed into the building, sneezing lightly at the dust that kicked up.

As soon as he entered the room, the anxiety that had been running through him eased. Sole had their head thrown back in laughter, joy radiating from them like a light. Without a word, he crossed the room and leaned over the back of the couch, resting his arms over their shoulders as he listened in. They were throwing light banter back and forth at each other. Mac mindlessly trailed his fingers up their arm, thinking hard about how to broach the topic. “Alright, Mac’s got somethin’ on his mind, I think it’s time we get going.” Sole brought him swiftly out of his own head.

He smiled good-naturedly, but Sole could tell he was still thinking hard about something. They stood and wrapped Hancock in a dramatic hug before moving around the couch to greet MacCready with a hug. “Alright, let’s get going.” They said softly, giving him a smile.

He nodded in agreement and followed them out of the room, then out of the building. They led him towards the Hotel Rexford, resigning themself to the fact that it had gotten late, time lost in the midst of their conversation, and were definitely staying the night in Goodneighbor. Sole had been amongst Goodneighbor often enough the hotel reserved a room for them at all times, and they simply greeted the receptionist and kept moving towards the stairs, key in hand already.

They shut the door softly and kicked off their shoes, placing their weapon on the bedside table before reaching for a pre-stocked can of water. “So what’s up, love?” They asked, quirking an eyebrow in his direction before taking a swig of water.

Mac tossed his hat onto the table beside their gun. “I was talking to Daisy.” He started.

“Mhm?” They looked him over carefully.

“We got onto the subject of what marriage was like. Before the war.”

Sole froze with the can halfway to their mouth before sighing and clearing their throat. They set the can of water down on the table and walked over to him. “Nothing I experience is reflected specifically on you. The flinching- I know you’ve noticed -is just a force of habit.” They spoke calmly, despite the struggle he could see in their eyes.

“I know, I’m not concerned about me. I get it. I mean, God I hope you never see them in me, but… I just wish I could’ve done something.”

“It’s in the past. Not either of our faults.” They smiled bitterly and kissed him, bringing a hand up to cup his jaw. “I love you.” They whispered once they pulled away.

“I love you, too.”

Nick:

Nick knew from the beginning. The memories he had implanted in his head, of the man who was and wasn’t him, spelled out plainly what life was like before the war. What people did to the spouse that was considered stay-at-home. He knew why Sole flinched, and he knew why they startled when he raised his voice.

And Sole knew he knew. Once they found out he had memories from before the war, and he mentioned what a terrible husband one of his friends was, they knew. They met his gaze quietly, a questioning look on their face. He simply smiled and took their hand, rubbing his thumb across their knuckles, and returning to the previous topic. There was a quiet silence as he finished his thought, and then he spoke. “I hope you know I don’t think any differently of you.” He said.

Sole looked at him thoughtfully. “I believe you. And I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Piper:

Piper was shaking with fury. She considered herself someone with a pretty even temper, but this had gotten her riled up like nothing else. God, who the hell could think that was normal? Okay? And Sole, having to go through that thinking no one would care. She politely said goodbye to Daisy, her tone forced, and made her way, determined, to Hancock’s building.

And then she stopped abruptly outside. It wasn’t fair for her to come to Sole with information about their life they didn’t willingly give to them, and spew it out in anger. They were the one that had the first right to be angry about what they went through, not her. So she forced herself to take deep breaths and simply collapsed into a bench outside the building.

It was about an hour later that Sole wandered out, a grin wide on their face, and called out a cheery greeting to Piper. She returned with the same enthusiasm, catching them in a hug and pressing kisses all over their face. “How was your chat?” She asked, pressing her cold nose against their throat.

“Agh, Piper- it was good. God your nose is cold.”

She laughed and mumbled a quiet “Good” against their throat before leaving a kiss there and pulling away. She made sure not to move suddenly. This wasn’t a discussion they needed to have right away; Sole was the one who should bring something like that up, and while she would tell them honestly that she knew, it wasn’t fair for her to spring it on them. Instead, she listened to them talk about their conversation with Hancock cheerfully as they moved through the streets of Goodneighbor.

Preston:

Preston leaned against the wall of Daisy’s shop, asking for a moment before he left. She nodded, as gracious as she was straightforward, and left to go rearrange some things upstairs to leave him in the quiet. He glanced around the settlement, appreciative despite his initial apprehensiveness the first time he had set foot inside Goodneighbor.

Sole would spend a while talking with Hancock, there was no doubt. Once the two got together they were unstoppable, laughing and joking together like there was no tomorrow. He loved it, truth be told, the way Sole became so carefree. Daisy had commented once that the only person she saw them more comfortable around was Preston himself.

Was it fair to bring up what he said, then? If they were so comfortable and carefree around him, they would bring it up on their own time, surely. Of course, he wanted them to know that he cared, that he was furious on their behalf, and so in love with them he’d stop the world from spinning if they wanted him to. 

He gathered his flittering thoughts and turned back towards Daisy’s counter. She had returned long before he’d realized, not paying any mind to him. “Do you have any of those sweet rolls?” He asked, voice rougher than he’d realized.

Daisy nodded and set them on the counter, a Nuka-Cola beside it. “It’s on me. Don’t worry about it.” 

X6-88:

X6 came to the realization when he decided to read one of Sole’s pre-war books they’d scavenged. It was a romance novel they’d jokingly recommended to them, however, he ended up confused by the halfway mark; it seemed like the opposite of a romance novel, considering the abuse that took place so casually. After a few hours of reading and trying to press through, he stood, shaking his head, and walked through the house to find Sole.

They were leaned over their workbench, a gun in it’s many pieces on the table in front of them. When they heard his footsteps they looked up with a bright grin. “What’s up, Six?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

They glanced down to the novel he was holding and snorted. “What’s the matter, gorgeous?”

“This… isn’t a romance novel. I think you gave me the wrong book.”

Sole grew confused. “It says it on the front cover.” They pointed out.

He turned the book to examine the front once again. Sure enough, it was advertised as a best-selling romance novel. He sighed in confusion. “The main character’s spouse, though… I don’t get it.”

Sole stilled. They thought for a moment before leaning over to catch the title on the front cover, then straightened and sighed. “Things were different back then, Six, that’s all.”

“Did… was that what your marriage was like?”

Sole looked at him for a moment, simply taking in a soft sight they never thought they’d see. X6, despite being one of the tallest people they’d met, looked absolutely unintimidating. He was dressed in pajamas they’d found for him and a loose white t-shirt, the novel held loosely in his hand, his shining eyes confused and curious. “I’m afraid so, love. But I’ve got you now.” They smiled, aware how forced it must look.

X6 crossed the room and set the book down before wrapping them in a hug, barely hesitating. He said nothing, simply held them as comfortably as he could, hoping they knew what he was trying to convey. They sighed and kissed his jaw before resting their head on his shoulder. “Don’t you worry about me, Six. It’s something I deal with. God forbid you ever let that bastard make you feel sad, too.” They laughed a little at the end of their sentence, gently scratching their short nails across his back.

[www-artforoddballs]

Headcannon for Levi-

Autism Update!

The man meets a human with Autism and is like

"...huh"

So he asks Lucifer to get him tested, and Lucifer is like "Okay sure"

And the results come back that he is, indeed, autistic.

This former angel, this demon, who by human standards is an ancient being of yore...

He gets diagnosed with Autism. High-functioning Autism, but he's autistic regardless.

And it all makes sense.

Boy suddenly feels way less alone in the world because he knows there are other people out there who hyperfocus on things they love just like him, who can't socialize or easily relate to other people just like him.

I also feel like after having this revelation, his brothers would ease up a bit on the teasing.

Brothers react (quickest acceptance to slowest)

MAMMON:

-Surprisingly (other than Luci and Satan, because...c'mon, Satan loves knowledge and Luci is a Responsible Big Brother *tm*) Mammon is the first to learn more about autism. He may not be the smartest of the brothers, but (in my opinion) is probably the one that's most in touch with his feelings and his empathy, despite still having that selfish streak.

-He wants to know more about Autism so he can understand Levi better and help make his brother more comfortable during their interactions.

-He'd also start stealing things from Levi less, because he now knows that there's another level to that memorabilia from anime and games for Levi than just stuff he likes.

-Will 100% buy Levi a stim toy when he gets some extra cash but shhHHHHH it's not from the tsundere crow man

-Probably comes around to fully understanding everything the quickest, despite both Luci and Satan reading up on it n stuff.

LUCIFER:

-This one is tricky, because he understands what autism is from a logical standpoint, but he still has a bit of trouble really understanding how it effects Levi

-Will also get a stim toy for his brother, probably like an infinity cube or something

-Still not really getting it until Levi has a meltdown

-Lucifer has dealt with Levi's meltdowns before, but moreso in a "my brother who is the avatar of envy is just throwing a fit" way instead of a "my brother who is having a meltdown as a cry for help needs me" way

-Instantly goes to Levi with probably either a handheld game or one of his stim toys

-Uses nonverbal ways for his brother to communicate with him so he'll know how to help him through this

-Will 100% get his brother noise canceling headphones and also take rigorous notes on what is ok with Levi and what isn't when it comes to stimulus

BEEL:

-Autism??? What's that???

-Poor boy is a bit dense at times but we still love him

-Supportive but not really sure of what to do or what to say or how to react

-If Levi had a meltdown around him though you'd best be certain that he'll be the first to scoop his brother up and REMOVE HIM FROM WHATEVER SITUATION IS CAUSING HIM HARM

-Gradually starts to understand more and more about the condition

-After all, his brother is still his brother. This label doesn't change anything, Levi has always been autistic, this label just helps people better understand him

-Will be the first to deck someone if they make fun of Levi for his autism. Doesn't even care if he gets in trouble later, you don't make fun of anyone, especially his family, for something they can't control.

-8/10, overall good bro

SATAN:

-OK I know I put Beel higher than him and this is why

-Satan read up on what Autism is, yes.

-But the man is still TECHNICALLY the youngest. He is the only member of the family who was never an Angel, as he was born from Lucifer's wrath toward everything when Lilith "died", which was when Lucifer ceased to be an angel completely. Everyone else was an angel at some point, so even though Belphie is the "youngest" because he has the weakest power, Satan is far younger than everyone else when it comes to actual age. Okay? Okay.

-ANYWAYS IGNORE MY RANT

-As the youngest (and I am technically correct here on him being the youngest ok bye-) and because he was literally born from nothing but wrath and hatred, the man is still learning on all the other emotions. And this is a canonical fact, anyways.

-So like his brother-father, Luci, Satan understands what Autism is, but he also doesn't understand what it is at the same time.

-He read up on it, that's good enough for him.

-He still cares about Levi, and just like everyone else (even though I only listed it for Beel) he knows that this label doesn't change who Levi is at all

-Gradually he starts getting a better grasp on everything. Will 100% be next in line to deck someone if they make fun of Levi for being autistic.

-They both like TSL so it would be an activity where he could really relate to his big brother and learn more about how his brain works so he would be better equipped to help him and how to best be there for him and relate to him in the future.

BELPHIE:

-Belphie is kind of a jerk toward everyone except Beel. But it is clear that he loves his family in his own weird way (even Lucifer, but he'll kill you if you even think of revealing this fact to Luci).

-Doesn't really get it, but the man isn't as self-absorbed as Asmo, which is one main reason I think he'd come around to it quicker than the lustful demon.

-Does want to understand it, but is also asleep like 70% of the time, so when anybody tries explaining it to him he ends up falling asleep.

-Eventually will probably get an audio book about the subject so if he falls asleep he can just resume from wherever he remembers it leaving off.

-Understands how Beel acts and reacts to situations where Levi is having a meltdown or is getting overwhelmed by noises or amounts of people and attention, so this does for sure help him better understand and accept the condition. Because Levi is still Levi, ultimately.

-Will probably let Levi rant to him about his favorite things. It would make Levi happy and seeing his brother happy would make him happy, even if he ends up falling asleep during Levi infodumping onto him.

ASMO:

-Man is self-absorbed.

-Not that he doesn't wanna get it, but he was barely paying attention when the results were shared with everybody because he was looking at a makeup tutorial on DevilGram.

-Like a month later he's pulled aside because he did something to really upset Levi, like bugging him repeatedly to take pictures for the gram with him and forcing him to livestream, and he's like

-"Yeah but I always do that?...he had a meltdown? What's a meltdown?"

-Will actually look up what a meltdown is after this

-Probably feels terrible but still doesn't really get it.

-"Why should I have to change myself for him?"

-Because you shouldn't be consciously making anyone uncomfortable, autistic or not, ASMO.

-Probably takes the two of them getting into a big fight and Levi to actually start crying for him to snap to his senses

-Will actually take time to do research and try to understand it better

-Still doesn't really fully get it, but he's doing his best to do this for his big bro

-6/10

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

(Prompts with boxes have been taken, highlighted have been written)

Requests for this card are closed, thank you to anyone who sent in requests! If you don’t want to see these you can block the tag #false bthb. As always shoot me an ask if you wanna be tagged in future stories, whether it be for bad things happen bingo or any of the other series, one shots or in general!

I’ve been picking at this particular request since early December as the person who requested it had a lot of details they wanted put in making the writing process a bit more challenging. As a disclaimer, note that the chapter is split between present time and the past; with Logan recalling things in his past in an attempt to make the details requested for the story flow better. I received this request from AO3.

General taglist: @im-an-anxious-wreck

Experimental Socialization

Summary: Logan was raised by the government to be nothing more than an experiment and a weapon, utilizing his unique abilities as a mutant. When he finally escapes things are much different than he imagined they’d be but thankfully finds others like him willing to help guide him right where he needs to be.(Happy Ending)

Warnings: allusions to abuse, physical punishment and human experimentation, tw for weapons and fire, panic attack. If there are more please let me know

Prompt; Not Used To Freedom (requested by AngstyEmoGal on AO3)

Ships: Intrulogical, Logan x Remus

WC: 3432

“You just gotta breathe, Logan. In four, hold seven, out eight remember? You’re doing great, just keep going.”

Logan felt himself slowly coming back to reality as his breathing evening out, the raw panic that had gripped his chest easing slightly as Virgili continued coaxing him through the exercise. He felt the other slowly rub up and down his arm in a slow, steady beat that helped ground him further in reality and he smiled up at his friend gratefully and nodded to let xem know he was okay. Gripping his knees as Virgil’s voice trailed off he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and let out one last calming breath.

“Thank you, Virgil. I-” He struggled to find words, gesturing flippantly in the air making Virgil grin.

“It’s okay. Take your time, L.”

Logan puffed his cheeks out in frustration, thoughts swirling too quickly for him to comprehend anything but the apprehensive fear he held for the plans Remus had made for them later that evening. “I am- not used to being outside. Given my history and the threat I pose as a potential compromise to our place of hiding I fail to understand Remus’ reasoning for going out when we could just as easily celebrate our relationship here.”

“Hm.” Virgil leaned back on xyr hands and looked up at the low ceiling of their underground paradise. “Can’t really see the stars from here, no matter how many stickers Princey finds and puts up it can't really be compared to the real thing.”

Logan had made the mistake of going on a tirade of space facts a few months into his stay in the hideout, Remus patiently listening to the extensive infodump of constellation facts and space physics and planetary rotation. Having a limited amount of books to entertain oneself with for extended periods of time meant memorizing entire books on one subject, which Logan had used all too happily as a figurative escape from his situation in the past until he had actually managed to escape when he was 16. Hearing Logan speak so passionately about the subject had apparently made his mind up that he was taking Logan outside for their first “official” date to view the stars, which had then landed Logan in his current state of panic as he realized that date was today and he was decidedly not ready for what might lay in store outside of safety of the hideout.

“I can stay close by if you want. I won’t spy or anything and Remus won’t have to know.” Logan looked over as his thoughts were interrupted by the offer, Virgil turning invisible and reappearing a couple seconds later to emphasize xyr point. Smiling Logan shook his head, knowing the other derived as much joy from going outside as Logan felt about going himself.

“Thank you for the offer though, you’re very kind.” Letting his thoughts drift again he idly wondered when Virgil had discovered xe could disappear and reappear at will and if xyr parents had tried to hide it before the government had found out. His own parents-

-----

“Logan?” A very small Logan turned at his mother’s voice, losing his concentration which made the hidden jar of Crofters fall from its suspended place in the air and smash to the floor. His parents hadn’t known he possessed any sort of powers, and even as small as he was he still understood the position he’d put them in if they ever found out. Fearfully his hands dropped to his sides as his mother covered her mouth in shock, tears rolling down her cheeks as she took a step back.

Men in suits and long coats were there just a few hours later, speaking in hushed voices while both of his parents cried and he was ushered out the door and into an unmarked car, quiet as he understood yelling and crying would do him no good now. What’s done was done, all he could do was be compliant and hope to be treated gently.

-----

The room suddenly brightening with a flickering light brought him back out of his thoughts, Roman entering with his signature bright flame held proudly in his hand. The image of him in his rather scrapped together Princely outfit posing subconsciously in the doorway was almost enough to make Logan roll his eyes but he didn’t want Virgil to think it was because of xem so he managed to restrain himself.

“My dearest brother has been pacing in the same spot for two hours now and I haven't been able to calm him down soooo I thought to check on our resident nerd.” Roman declared with his usual flare. Logan actually did roll his eyes this time but Virgil did as well so he figured it was fine.

“The ‘resident nerd’ is doing fine, Roman. Though it's concerning to hear Remus is nervous as well considering he’s the one who suggested the date.”

Roman waved his hand at Logan dismissively. “He’s just a sap- moreso than me surprisingly. He doesn’t want to do anything to put you in danger but he wants to do something nice, so he’s worried that’s all. Remus is an idiot but I trust him with my life; believe me when I say you have nothing to worry about except his terrible sense of humor.”

Logan merely hummed in response, staring at the way the flame moved around as Roman gestured with his words.

-----

He panted as he rolled out of the way of another flamethrower, singeing the tips of his hair in the process but he couldn’t afford to slow down enough to worry about that. Years of training with different fighting styles had earned him incredibly fast reflexes but a good portion of his accuracy in knowing where to step and when was owed to him working even harder to focus his powers. Thoughts from others constantly surrounded him on a regular basis, getting more and more prevalent the older he grew. Learning to block out the constant string of stimuli was a useful skill to keep him sane but learning to hone in on specific thoughts to predict actions was what had kept him alive.

He ducked below another bullet and brought up his leg in the same motion, kicking a throwing knife to the side and sending it to clatter harmlessly between one of his assailants feet. A twirl to the side and a tilt of the head let another bought of flame boil the air beside him while another knife just barely brushed his ear. The constant bang of bullets and roar of flames and whistling of knives was overwhelming and made the air so thick he could barely draw a breath and it was becoming a struggle to concentrate the way he needed to and-

A high pitched alarm sounded one, twice, three times- a blaring flash accompanying it that left him blinking painfully. His shoulders slumped as the barrage finally ended, another successful training day completed. He watched as everyone began putting their weapons away, laughing and congratulating each other, clapping themselves on the back and discussing whatever they had planned after this. No one even spared the thing they had been firing at seconds before a spare glance, save for the director of the branch, who took long steps forward to stand in front of him only to snap his fingers and motion forward no doubt to see him back to his room until dinner. Absorbing the sounds around him he drank in as much praise as he could that wasn’t his and would never be for him; people rarely congratulated weapons after all.

-----

“Is this where we all decided to hide today?” Logan looked up to see Patton sitting cross legged on one one of the beams in the ceiling, grinning happily down at them even as their fluffy ears twitched nervously and even fluffier tail whipped back and forth in agitation. They must have come back from trying to calm Remus as well, Logan mused; Patton had never done well being in the same room as Remus who tended to voice his thoughts abruptly and without much care to how they might sound to others which always managed to set Patton on edge no matter how hard they tried not to show it.

Patton was a rare mutant in that as opposed to being born with abnormal traits or abilities they had been a science experiment from the start- an effort to create super soldiers rather than stealing them away from families and training them. Even rarer was the fact that the DNA splicing had taken extraordinarily well by pure chance as Patton was born with a mutation that left their DNA incredibly malleable- a mutation that never would have been discovered had cellular manipulation not been the reason for them being in the experimental branch that they were. They had tried cloning Patton at first to see if their power could be duplicated but when that failed to work they began trying to combine them with different animals to see if desirable traits would come forward. By manipulating them on a physical and anatomical level they were able to change some parts of them to be more cat like, intending, Patton had guessed, to turn them into a kind of stealth soldier but they got away before they completed it, leaving them with heightened agility and surgically coaxed cat ears and a tail. They were only a child when the lab had done this but somehow they were never bitter, simply preferring to leave their past alone and embrace whatever future they could make- a trait Logan greatly admired them for even if their unending optimism could be somewhat grating at times.

“Did Janus brush your tail out Pat? It looks fluffier today.” Patton preened at Virgil's compliment, their tail beginning to wave in a more relaxed manner as their mind was distracted from whatever it was Remus had been ranting about.

“He did! He found a cat brush and got it for me so I could finally get the undercoat out!” Jumping down and landing lightly on their feet they posed a little and flashed another wide grin.

“Beautiful as always, Patton.” Roman said genuinely as he lowered his hand into a barrel to light up the paper scraps and wood in it for the night, the dim sunlight that had filtered through the grated having long since died. The home was a modified branch of a sewer system, thankfully the part most removed from the city where it flowed without the stench and was sealed off inconspicuously enough that in the ten years Janus and Remus had been using it no worker had ever found it.

-----

It had been Janus and Remus who had found him, beaten and bloody from an escape attempt he had made just days before his real one. He had made a weak attempt to coax the scientists into a false sense of security, holding back the full scoop of his powers during training for a year in anticipation for his final escape. He had punished severely but had simply thrown him in his regular cell, assuming he wasn’t strong enough to do any more damage than they had seen him do already and trusting that they had beaten him down enough that it would be a while before he tried again- if he ever did. Not six days later the mangled metal of the front of his cell was tossed into a group of guards, walls torn apart in a straight line to the exit and the huge buzzing gates leading to the outside world thrown open wide and stuck there with varying amounts of heavy debris.

The outside world, as it turns out, was a lot bigger and louder and downright terrifying when you weren’t being sent out as a personal assassin or field missions or training sessions- all controlled on some level to keep him from being killed and compromised. Without the begrudged protection from the labs and moreover having to hide from said lab was another story entirely. The times they searched for him and how closely they came to his spots were random and made it incredibly hard for him to pick out their thoughts from anyone else’s in the city and figure out how close they were. On more than one occasion they passed right by him crouched under piles of garbage or laying low under a hedge, his breath held as he tried desperately to keep himself as still and quiet as possible, thoughts of what they would to him once they found him pounding against his head and making him squeeze his eyes shut to keep his terrified tears from falling.

That was how Remus had found him. It had been dark and hours had passed since the searchers had left that park he had been hiding in. He had still been hiccuping down his sobs as he rolled out from under the hedge that he hadn’t bothered to scope the area for anyone’s close by thoughts, having shut out as much as he could after they had left to try and block out any other hate fueled thoughts that may send him spiraling again. His heart had leapt in his throat so high his breath caught painfully, immediately shifting to offense as he tensed, ready to fight as long and hard as he could. He couldn’t go back- he wouldn’t. No matter what they did or promised him or punished him with; he’d go down fighting or not at all.

But Remus had only raised his hands in the air in a motion of peace, eyes widening as he locked onto the government issued bracelet that marked him as an experimental mutant. He had grinned impossibly wide then Logan remembered, briefly disappearing from his sight and reappearing a moment later, setting him even more on edge but curious nonetheless.

“I’m like you.” Remus had said quietly. “Basically I run real fast and the government hasn’t figured out how to get me yet.”

Logan had watched as he jiggled his wrists a bit for emphasis, bare save for colored chords that he assumed didn’t associate him with any government branch since they didn’t look official.

“Are you okay?” Remus had asked next and mutely Logan nodded, unsure of how to react to this fellow mutant who had never been caught by any sort of lab, apparently living as free as one could when you were as different as they were. He stepped back as another man appeared behind him, Janus he later learned.

“Liar.” Janus had hissed, making Remus reach around and smack the back of his head.

“It was a polite thing to ask that he tried to dismiss Jan. Let the adults speak for a second.”

Logan had noted the faint pout on Janus’ face though he was still trying very hard to look intimidating. And then all at once his eyes had turned cold as his attention was once again focused on Logan, glaring menacingly from beneath a black bowler hat. “I’m younger than you and yet I’m the one that has to put my foot down. He’s being chased clearly; we are not bringing him back with us.”

Remus has turned, Logan seemingly forgotten for the moment. “That’s not how it works! He needs help and we’re not leaving him to starve or be found in the middle of a park! What would Patton say?”

“Patton is a soft fool who needs to figure out where their morals stand. I myself am choosing not to compromise our place of hiding and three other people that you know those power hungry idiots would love nothing more than to get their hands on!”

Remus rolled his eyes so hard his head had lolled with it, face going pale as he watched something in the sky. It was then that Logan heard the telling sound of a helicopter flying low and getting closer but he had barely tensed before he found himself gripped around the middle and held vertically with the ground flying underneath him. They stopped abruptly and he was set down, blinking in rapid confusion as Remus grinned sheepishly at him.

“Welcome to the hideout?”

Logan’s eyes had widened and his breath had caught yet again, chest tightening as he shook his head vehemently. “You can’t- I need to go back! They’ll do anything to get me back-!”

He was stopped from going forward with a finger to his chest, his blue eyes locking with beautiful brown as Remus held his gaze. “And we will do everything to keep you safe.”

Safe. With that one word Logan was his. He hadn’t known why and he still didn’t quite understand it but he had trusted Remus with everything he had- and he still did. Even as Janus had stalked off grumbling and Virgil and Roman had kept their distance at first Remus had kept him close and showed him how much better his life could be, even if they were living in a modified sewer system.

Back in the present he looked up as a hand was thrust under his chin, smiling softly as he took Remus’ hand and let himself be led away from the others’ idle chatter. He counted himself extremely lucky in the end that Janus had eventually come around to him, seeing how happy he made Remus and how Remus made Logan feel it had been him to finally talk to Logan about it and get the two to officially talk about how they felt, going on about the being “hopeless gay idiots” when they had finally started to date officially. Logan wasn’t sure what he’d do without Remus at this point, just a year later and he was so attached to their small group of hideaways he wouldn’t trade for the world.

They approached the exit to the sewers, Remus swinging their hands between them. Logan held his breath right before they crossed the threshold, closing his eyes and letting it out slowly as his feet met grass and he opened his eyes to the darkened field. There were a few tunnels that lead out to different places depending on where they needed to go and this, Remus had told him, was his favorite because of how empty it was. The city lay far in the distance so there was almost no light pollution to block out the sky. Soft grass and flowers brushed his ankles as he scanned the area carefully, seeing nothing but trees lining the far end of the field with a road so far away he could barely, make it out in the darkness. Remus tugged his hand softly to get his attention, searching his eyes for any hint of discomfort.

“Is this okay?’

Logan took another breath and let it out, the last of his nerves fading away as he took in the quiet. “It’s perfect Remus.”

The other grinned and tugged a little harder this time, walking fast to the middle of the field where he stopped suddenly and raised Logan’s arm up to lead him into an impromptu twirl. Logan laughed quietly and then louder as he was dipped, secure in Remus’ strong hold as he reached up to grip the back of his neck. He was safe. He was free and safe and happy finally with someone who truly loved and cared for him. His breath caught in his throat again but this time in awe, Remus chuckling as he was laid down carefully tucked into his side, till with his arms around his neck.

The stars shone bright and winked lazily while swirls of color dusted faintly behind them. The moon was waning, a barely there light that let the beauty behind it show fully as the wind whisked away any clouds that dared to try and cover it. It was everything Logan had ever hoped it would be and more, excitement thrumming through him as he squeezed Remus tightly in an attempt to convey it. He felt Remus grin against his scalp where his face was buried in his hair.

“It’s beautiful isn't it?”

Logan looked back at him, light from the stars reflected in his eyes and wild brown hair framing his face. He leaned up slightly and kissed him, a faint brush of their lips that left them both grinning like the idiots they were. Placing a hand on Remus’ cheek Logan smiled at him, thumb brushing over his cheek in adoration.

“Absolutely stunning.”

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[yikesharringrove]

Hi! I love your blog and i check daily for updates because your fics/drabbles make my days! I wanted to request (if you're up to it) something with steve going deaf after the concussion in s2? Thank you so much! I hope you feel better soon and have a great day❤

So, I’ve broken my eardrums several times and that causes temporary hearing loss, so I based what Steve experiences on that as well as some stuff I read written by folks that lost their hearing.

I also wanna rec this fic, which has a similar idea, but Steve begins the story hard of hearing, so I tried to make them different!

Read on Ao3

-

Billy doesn’t know what happened when the kids drugged him and left him there.

All he knows is that he was startled awake by the sounds of Maxine driving his own car and the kids fucking screaming.

Something about Harrington being bitten?

And they dragged Steve out of his car, and he was bloody, and unconscious, and had a big gash in the back of his head.

Billy helped them bring him to the couch, using Steve’s jacket to pillow his head, trying to staunch the bleeding from the wound there.

“Why the fuck didn’t you take him to the hospital?”

Everyone was quiet as Steve groaned, shifting slightly.

His eyes fluttered open.

They were hazy and unfocused, looking slowly around the room.

“Hey, buddy. How are ya feeling?” Steve stared blankly at Dustin.

“I, what?”

Steve felt like he was underwater.

The world was moving too slowly around him, everything was hazy and muffled and he didn’t know which way was up, which part of his body hurt more.

He barely remembers being in those tunnels, the ‘dogs rushing them, getting tossed against the cave wall.

And then, nothing.

Nothing but blue eyes and rough hands.

And Dustin asked him something, but he was too far away, or maybe he was being quiet for once in his life, but Steve just heard ay-u are-a ee.

And then Billy said something, and Steve could pick up osital before Billy was picking him up like he weighed nothing and putting him back in that car.

And Steve could sort of make out the sound of the engine through his underwater brain.

But it didn’t sound anything like it did that first day when Billy roared into the high school parking lot, didn’t even sound like when Max was driving earlier.

And Billy fucking knew something was wrong.

Every time he spoke, Steve didn’t acknowledge him. And he would chalk it up to Steve just fucking hating him, but he figured he’d get some kind of response, even if it was just a glare.

He took him to the emergency room, helping him out of the car.

“My friend hit his head. He’s bleeding and he’s really spaced out.”

-

Steve let the nurses and the doctors examine him.

He felt like he was only going deeper under water.

“I’m sorry, I can’t, I can’t hear you.”

He couldn’t even hear his own voice.

The nurse’s smile slid right off her face.

And then there was another doctor, and he was wheeled into a new room, and had to lay very still in a large cream colored tube.

-

“Harrington?”

Billy hadn’t been allowed to accompany Steve back. No familial relation, and all that.

But he was getting regular updates as they performed new tests.

Last he heard, Steve was being taken for a scan, which Billy didn’t like the sound of.

“Our imaging has presented us with the cause of his loss of hearing. It appears that-”

“Sorry, loss of hearing?” And it made sense, it really did, but it also sent a fucking chill down Billy’s spine. Moreso than the unexplained animal bite that was oozing blood and puss from Steve’s leg.

“Yes, it appears Mr. Harrington has suffered a severe enough concussion we have classified it as a traumatic brain injury. Due to the location of the blow, his auditory processing has been affected. We believe he has lost approximately 90% of his hearing.”

“But this is like, just temporary, right? He’ll be fine?”

“It’s rare to lose hearing due to damage to the brainstem, so unfortunately, we don’t know.”

“You don’t, you don’t know? He could be fucking deaf forever, and you don’t know?” She gave him an unimpressed look, stared him down until he deflated, mumbled a sorry.

“Look, his injury is uncommon, not unprecedented. We hope for a full recovery, but at this point, it’s unlikely.” She gave him a half smile as he thanked her, and turned on her heel.

-

They gave Steve a notepad.

He didn’t like talking.

Felt like he sounded stupid.

Couldn’t hear himself to know otherwise.

And of course, he didn’t know sign language. Never had put much thought into learning it.

The nurses would give him pitying smiles, would write down their questions for him. They mostly kept to yes or no’s, allowing him to nod or shake his head.

Does it still hurt? Has your hearing improved? Do you need more pain killers?

He slept through the rest of the night, but he chalks that up to the morphine they pumped him with, the adrenaline draining from his body.

The next morning he woke up to a sweet looking nurse, writing him a note that he had visitors, and he was welcome to tell them no.

He sighed, and nodded, giving a vague come in gesture.

It was Joyce and Hop.

And Steve realized he was relieved the kids weren’t there.

Joyce scribbled something on his pad.

They told us everything. I’m so sorry, Honey.

And Steve stared crying. Started sobbing, because Joyce’s hugs were warm but her soft voice was gone.

-

Billy had never left the emergency room.

He had curled in one of the uncomfortable chairs, and dozed off until morning, when the Police Chief rolled in with the gaggle of kids and a short woman that gave him a shockingly tight hug, and thanked him for taking care of Steve.

“He’s deaf.” Billy’s throat felt raw. “They told me last night. Scanned his brain and the injury was real bad. They don’t know if he’ll ever hear again.”

“But they, there’s nothing they can do?” Dustin was pale.

“Not really. They said, it’s rare for how he was injured to result in hearing loss, so they just don’t know.”

The chief took that woman back to see Steve, told the kids they didn’t know if he was up for visitors just yet.

Dustin had an odd look on his face.

He set his jaw, rolled his shoulders back, planted himself in front of Billy.

“Take me to the library.” Billy raised an eyebrow.

“Not a chance.”

“Take me to the library.”

“Kid, no.”

“Yes! I need to do research! If I learn sign language, I can help Steve so we can communicate!” Lucas stood behind him.

“Take us to the library.” When Maxine stood as well, Billy sighed.

“Fine. Get in the car.”

-

Apparently Nancy and Jonathan broke into his house.

Nancy still remembered where he kept the spare key.

She had an odd look on her face as she passed Steve some sweats, a clean shirt. Jonathan scribbled a note and gestured to the bag he placed on one of the chairs.

We brought more clothes, didn’t know how long you’re staying.

He didn’t know either.

He told them thanks. One word was easy enough, and he’s pretty sure he saw Nancy’s eyes go a little teary at the sound of his voice.

-

Billy ushered the kids into the building, going over to chat with the librarian.

He had spent a decent amount of time here since moving to Hawkins. They had a decent selection, and plenty of the classics he liked to read.

He was too tired to flirt, but kept polite conversation as the kids rushed around.

“We need all the books you have on American Sign Language, deafness, and anything else on the subject.” She gave Dustin a pointed look.

“Mr. Henderson, you have five books checked out, as well as five you stole-”

“I’ll bring those back. This is urgent.” Billy put on his best tragic look.

“Marissa, the kid’s best friend has a, well he’s just gone deaf. Had a terrible accident. They just wanna be there for him, you know?” She looked at him. Her resolve was slipping. “You know, use my card for ‘em. You know I’m reliable.”

He checked out very few books, opted to read them in the library instead.

She sighed.

“I’ll show you what we’ve got.” And she grumbled all the way to the stack.

-

Steve was staring out the window when he received a note about more visitors.

He knew he’d have to face the kids at some point, he was just hoping to put it off.

He smiled as warmly as he could when they came in, his eyes going wide when Billy trailed in behind them.

He looked like shit.

Dustin scribbled something on the notepad.

Billy took us to the library and we got books on sign language and we’re all going to learn together so that we can all still communicate.

He wrote like he talked, run on sentences with rushed, sloppy, handwriting.

Everyone was staring at him weird, and he realized he had laughed. He took notepad scribbling on it quickly.

Thank you guys. Means a lot. Dustin smiled at him, nodding. He cast a glance over to Billy, leaning against the wall, staring out the window. Dustin took the pad.

He hasn’t left since he brought you here he slept out in the waiting room and took us to the library to get all the books AND let us check them out on his library card.

Steve nodded, clearing his throat. Billy’s jaw tightened at the sound.

“Billy.” His head whipped around, his eyes wide at Steve’s voice. Not too loud. He held up what Dustin had written down. “Thank you.” Billy just nodded at him.

-

The kids were picked up one by one, giving Steve tight hugs before they left.

Until it was Max asleep in a chair, Billy sitting in the other.

Steve watched as Billy took off his jacket, draping it over Max like a blanket.

He gave Steve a tight smile. Steve picked up the pad.

Why have you stayed? You didn’t have to.

Billy shrugged. Worried about you.

Steve flushed.

I’m okay.

Billy gave him a look.

Well, I will be. Billy gave him a little half smile. You really took them to the library?

The little mouthy one bullied me into it.

Steve laughed. Billy tried to stifle his own smile.

Love the image of Dustin bullying you into doing something.

Yeah well, it was humiliating. Steve smiled at him again.

So, are you learning sign language too?

Just the important shit. Princess, Pretty Boy, pain in my ass. The three P’s. Steve laughed again.

Right. Important shit. Remind me to learn asshole and piece of trash.

Steve had never really taken much notice to the way Billy laughed. But now that he couldn’t hear it, he studied Billy’s face. His eyes scrunched up, and had his teeth always been that white, and that straight? His Adam’s apple bobbed when he laughed and Steve didn’t even think, reached out and pressed his fingers softly against his throat, his palm flat on his chest.

Billy went still. Steve recoiled.

Sorry. Wanted to see if I could feel your laugh. Billy smiled sheepishly at him, taking his hand and bringing it back to his throat.

Steve could feel the vibrations in his throat, the way the air made his neck shift, his Adam’s apple moving.

He didn’t know what Billy was saying, just liked the way his lips moved, the way he could feel the words in his fingertips.

-

Steve’s face was soft as Billy spoke, his eyes big, his fingers soft against Billy’s throat.

“I guess I can say this now. Since you’re not ever gonna hear me say it, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I said to you, did to you. You just, you scare the shit outta me, Pretty Boy. I’m not, not allowed to feel this way about you. About, about any boy. Neil’s made that really fucking clear. But I saw you, and I wanted to be near you, to hear you laugh, be the, the cause of all your damn smiles, and I’ve made you laugh twice today. And that’s the best damn feelin’ in the world.”

Steve’s eyes flicked up to his face when he couldn’t feel words anymore, and those soft fingers retreated again.

Steve took the notepad.

Billy liked his handwriting.

I like the way it feels when you talk. He smiled all bright and Steve Harrington pretty. Never thought about feeling someone speaking like that before. And then Billy’s heart sank. What did you say.

Talkin’ shit on you.

That’s rude. I’m a deaf person now. That’s bigamy.

I’m going to assume you meant bigotry. Steve flushed.

Yeah, whatever.  Steve was all huffy. It was adorable.

Sorry, I’ll only talk shit in sign once we all earn it.

Thank you. I appreciate it. Steve reached out, slapping playfully at Billy’s chest. Billy had the overwhelming urge to take his hand, kiss his knuckles.

He was too scared.

When do you get out of here? I got an idea.

-

Billy was there to pick him and take him home.

Steve had been in the hospital for over two weeks, as they wanted to monitor the injury.

He had completely lost his hearing, and had given up hope of it returning.

But Billy had been by everyday, usually bringing Dustin and some of the library books, and they had all mastered the sign language alphabet, and had all learned a few words.

Steve had a few bags of things people had brought to him, everything fitting nicely in the trunk of the Camaro.

Billy had offered to drive him own, wanted to see something.

He made a beeline to the quarry, finding a spot overlooking the water.

He took the pad from Steve’s lap, writing I have an idea, tell me when you can feel it.

He rifled through the cardboard box in the backseat, holding up the tape for Steve to see.

It was KISS, Dynasty.

Steve made a face.

Billy rolled his eyes, pushing the tape in. He turned up the bass, cranking the volume.

The first song, I Was Made For Lovin’ You, had one of Billy’s favorite bass lines ever.

He turned up the bass some more, until his speakers sounded like shit, the song completely distorted.

But Steve’s eyes were wide, his hand on his chest. Billy stole the pad.

At concerts, sometimes you can feel the bass in your body. I thought that might work for you. Can still listen to music. I got a lot of bass heavy stuff.

Steve’s bottom lip trembled.

He sniffed, wiping at his eyes.

Billy doesn’t know what he had done wrong, if maybe it was insensitive, this whole music thing.

He went to turn down the music, but Steve grabbed his wrist. He took the notepad.

Thank you, Billy. You’re really nice. Not listening to music anymore was really making me sad. This was a good idea.

Steve smiled at him, his eyes still wide and gooey wet.

Billy didn’t think about.

Just put one hand on the back of Steve’s neck, and pulled him forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Steve was stiff against him, and Billy was about to pull back, scribble an apology on the pad, put then Steve sighed, and melted against Billy.

They pulled away from one another, and Steve was biting his lip, made Billy kiss him again.

Been wanting to do that for a while. Billy had tossed the pad onto his lap. Steve scoffed at it.

Why didn’t you?

Too scared. Steve just looked at him. The song clicked to the next, the steady kick drum of 2,000 Man made Steve’s hand flutter back to his chest. You like this one?

This album is good. Now that I can’t actually hear it. Billy shoved him. Steve huffed a little laugh.

Dick.

[noona-clock]

The Demon 👿 Zombie

Genre: Office!AU

Pairing: Jae x You

Warnings: Some Emotional Angst

Words: 2,342

Day and Night  👿 Zombie  👿 Tick Tock  👿 Love me or Leave me  👿 STOP   👿 1 to 10  👿 Afraid

Breathin’ but I’ve been dyin’ inside Nothin’ new and nothin’ feels right Deja vu so I close my eyes Let the demon sing me a lullaby

Today’s a present that I don’t want So I’m wonderin’ in this world Am I really the only one Who’s been wantin’ to hide out from the sun And run

You immediately let out a whining groan when you heard your morning alarm pierce through the air.

You knew you should be thankful you had a steady, well-paying job. You should be grateful you could keep a roof over your head and food on your table.

But, good grief, you just didn’t like it. You didn’t hate it, but you sure didn’t love it. It was a fine job. Mediocre, at best. You just had trouble mustering up any positive energy whatsoever when it came to getting up and going to work.

Once you actually got to work... Well, to be honest, it wasn’t much better. You trudged through each workday because you had to, not because you wanted to. You simply went through the motions every day, like a robot on autopilot.

You know that song that’s like “Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend’?

You were convinced that song was written about you. Friday evening was your absolute favorite thing in the entire world.

And Sunday evening was your absolute least favorite thing in the entire world.

Up until just recently, you’d been able to make it through each day, each week. It wasn’t pleasant, but you did it.

For the past few weeks, though, you’d felt the dark unhappiness creeping into your brain. It was getting more and more difficult to force yourself to get out of bed and head into the office. So much so that you were on the verge of taking some time off. It sounded more than heavenly to just be able to stay in bed and laze around all day -- hole yourself up and do anything but go to work.

When we live a life Always dreamin’ for a dream to come true So I live this life Wanting somethin’ I can’t see And something I can’t reach Or somethin’ that could not exist

To be honest, one of the only things keeping you going right now was your co-worker, Jae.

The two of you had started this job at just about the same time, so the newbie status instantly pulled you together. The fact Jae could successfully distract you with both memes and profound thoughts at the same time was what kept you together.

Whenever you needed to rant about another co-worker or a client, Jae was there. Whenever you needed to get out of the office for lunch and satisfy your craving for fast food, Jae was there. Whenever you needed to relieve boredom or waste time -- you guessed it. Jae was there.

He was basically one of the only reasons you continued working this job, and you liked to think he felt the same way about you.

After reaching over to pick up your phone and turning your alarm off, your whining groan turned into a weary sigh. Normally -- as in, before your jaded attitude about your job had set in -- you would turn off your alarm and almost immediately get out of bed. Now, however -- and especially more recently -- you found you had to scroll through your overnight notifications on your phone before you could even think about getting up.

And that’s exactly what you did today.

Your eyes scanned all of the alerts you’d received, stopping when you noticed one of them was a text message from Jae. Unsurprisingly, he’d sent it way after you’d gone to sleep, knowing you wouldn’t see it until you’d woken up this morning.

Just two more alarms for the week, dude. You got this.

You really weren’t sure why because it was literally just a text message, but... reading Jae’s words actually helped you get out of bed. Maybe it was the fact you knew someone at work was on your side, or maybe it was the fact someone else understood how difficult it could be... or maybe it was a reason you truly couldn’t understand.

Either way, you quickly typed out a reply (‘WE got this, bro!! See you soon!’) and then swung your legs over the side your bed.

I feel like I became a zombie Not alive but I’m still walkin’ When the sunrise is upon me I’ll be waitin’ for the day to pass by Oh why

I became a zombie And there’s nothing that can cure me So tomorrow I know I’ll be Just the same, you’ll see me Wishin’ to stop and close my eyes

Unfortunately, Jae’s text message only gave you enough positive energy to get through your morning routine. As soon as you stepped outside and headed toward the bus stop, you turned into the robot on autopilot again, simply going through the motions of getting to work.

You got on the bus, swiped your pass, sat down, stared out the window as it began to roll deeper into the city.

It was times like these when you found yourself zoning out entirely, thinking of everything and nothing at the same time.

Your gaze became focused on the sunrise peeking through in-between the buildings, and your mind became unfocused on just about everything. And it was usually during your morning bus ride when you felt the most like a zombie -- half-alive. Or, rather, physically alive but emotionally... not alive. Probably because you knew the day was just beginning, and you had so many hours ahead of you to get through.

You closed your eyes, tilting your head and pressing your temple to the cool glass of the window.

Just before you were going to let out a deep but silent sigh, you felt your phone vibrate inside your bag.

With a small jump, you opened your eyes, sat back up, and reached in to see what the notification was.

A small smile crept onto your lips when you saw Jae had texted you again.

B R O. I need COFFEE. Want anything?

Soy hazelnut latte maybe?

What about food? You can treat me to lunch later as a thank you.

LOL okay deal. Everything bagel plz!!!! You’re the best!!!!

You would say one thing: it was definitely easier to get through the morning with some caffeine and some food. Hopefully, you would feel more like a person after you got some breakfast in you.

Yeah this is my life Always dreamin’ for a dream to come true This meaningless life Wanting somethin’ I can’t see And something I can’t reach Or somethin’ that could not exist

No more of this I wanna cry Dried out but feel like I should cry Tell the world that I’m still here tonight Oh oh

Besides the very end of your shift, lunchtime was your favorite part of the day. You especially enjoyed it when you got to eat with Jae, and even moreso when you ate out at a restaurant -- I mean, if you classify McDonald’s as a restaurant. Which you totally did.

Since Jae had so graciously provided breakfast for you this morning, you followed up with your promise to treat him to lunch. He had announced that he was craving a McChicken sandwich, so here you were sitting in a booth at the McDonald’s across the street from the building.

And, apparently, you were sitting in the booth more listlessly than you realized because as you were swirling some fries around in your ketchup, Jae kicked you gently under the table.

“Yo, what’s up?” he asked. “You okay?”

You blinked rapidly, shifting your gaze to look at Jae across from you. “Hmm?” you hummed. “Oh, I -- have you ever felt like your life is basically meaningless?”

...Had you meant for such a profound question to come out of your mouth?

No.

But there was no taking it back now.

Jae practically choked on his McChicken, his eyes widening and his brow furrowing deeply. “Say what now?”

You shifted awkwardly in your seat before replying, “Never mind.”

“No, no, no -- meaningless? Is that how you feel? Like your life is meaningless?”

“...Kind of?”

Jae’s forehead wrinkled even more, and he leaned forward closer to you. “Dude, that’s not true at all,” he said quietly and with the most sincere tone. So sincere it almost made your heart break. “Why -- I mean, why do you...?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I just feel like... every day is a chore to get through. I’m just waking up and going to work and going home. I don’t feel like I’m actually... doing anything. And like there’s no end in sight.”

Jae let out a soft sigh and set down his sandwich before folding his arms on top of the table. “I mean... I knew you didn’t like this job, but I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

To be honest, neither had you. Not until just now. You’d known you weren’t particularly happy, but you hadn’t truly understood just how unhappy you were.

“...Yeah, I guess it is,” you murmured.

“So... find a new job.”

You automatically let out a breathless chuckle and shook your head. “Like it’s that easy.”

“Listen,” Jae began. “I don’t want you to find another job. For my own selfish reasons, I don’t want you to leave because you’re definitely my favorite part of work. But... dude, if you’re that unhappy, you have to leave.”

You didn’t answer him right away; you simply bit the inside of your cheek and gazed at your food.

“I have friends with all kinds of jobs,” he continued. “I could ask around and see if they can help. You’re smart as hell, I know there are plenty of jobs out there you would be so good at.”

His words -- and his earnest tone -- made your throat tighten with emotion and your eyes fill slightly with tears. “Really?” you choked out. “You would help me like that?”

When you finally looked up at him, you anticipated his expression to be one of ‘You’re kidding me, right? Of course, I would help you like that.’

Instead, his expression said something more like... Well, you weren’t sure what. The best way you could describe it was... shy.

“Well... yeah,” he mumbled. “I... I just want you to be happy.”

I feel like I became a zombie Not alive but I’m still walkin’ When the sunrise is upon me I’ll be waitin’ for the day to pass by Oh why

I became a zombie And there’s nothing that can cure me So tomorrow I know I’ll be Just the same you’ll see me Wishin’ to stop and close my eyes

Unfortunately, no matter how badly you wished for more time, your lunch break was only an hour long.

Jae had double-checked that you were all right before the two of you went back into your office building, and he even sent you messages here and there throughout the day -- including one informing you that he had texted all of his close friends about job openings, and he already had some good leads for you.

At this point, though, you didn’t really want to get your hopes up.

Jae typically didn’t leave at the same time as you because he preferred to finish everything he’d started that day; you were the type to leave right when the clock struck 5 and not a minute later, so unless Jae finished early for the day, the two of you never walked out of the office together.

But Jae must have finished early for the day because the two of you walked out of the office together.

As soon as you stepped out of the building, Jae nudged you gently with his elbow. “So, are you gonna quit?” he asked quietly.

“Well, not right now,” you replied. “I still need to pay my bills.”

“Yeah, but -- if one of my friends can get you an interview, will you go to it?”

“I -- I mean, I guess so!”

To be honest, you wanted to leave this job, but... change was really scary. Starting all over at a new place, getting to know new people, getting used to a new schedule? It didn’t sound inviting.

But, then again, neither did keeping on with your current situation.

“I promise,” Jae said with raised eyebrows. “I will help you get out of here.”

You had to stop walking at that.

Your brow furrowed as Jae suddenly stopped, too, turning to face you.

“...What?” he asked.

“Why are you so determined to help me find a new job?” you asked, though there was absolutely nothing accusatory about your words. You were just... curious. I mean, it’s not like you and Jae were extremely close. You were best work friends, for sure, but you hadn’t hung out a whole lot outside of work.

Again, Jae’s expression turned shy the same way it had during your lunch conversation.

“I just...” he began, but then he let out a sigh and brought one hand up to rub the bridge of his nose. 

...And then it dawned on you.

Out of the blue.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks that you had only stayed here because of Jae.

He wasn’t just one of the reasons you could manage to keep going. One of the only things you liked about your job.

He was the only reason. The only thing.

You were so hesitant to get another job because you knew you wouldn’t get to see him everyday, and seeing him everyday was the one thing in your life that actually made you genuinely happy.

Before he could continue on with his thought, you stepped up to him. You slid your arms around his middle and circled your arms as tightly as you could and pressed your cheek to his chest.

“Whoa,” he muttered, but he didn’t leave enough time for you to start second-guessing yourself because he almost immediately returned your embrace.

“I don’t --” he mumbled. “I don’t want you to leave because not seeing you everyday would... suck. But I don’t think I can keep seeing you everyday knowing that you hate it.”

You simply shut your eyes tightly, nuzzling your cheek against the silk fabric of his tie.

“I can’t see you everyday knowing that you’re -- you’re a working zombie or something. So... please. Please say you’ll leave.”

“I will,” you murmured. Because even though Jae made you happy... it wasn’t enough. You couldn’t continue to rely on him to get you through the day; it wouldn’t be fair to either of you.

“But...” Jae added, his voice quieter and a bit more shaky. “Please say... you won’t leave me.”

Your lips curved into a wide grin at his words. He was hugging you back, yes, but you still hadn’t been certain that he felt the same way as you did right now.

But now you knew.

“I won’t,” you assured him, squeezing him even tighter.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt a glimmer of... Well, you weren’t quite sure. Hope? Happiness? Love? Or maybe just... different?

After living your life in the same way day after day, week after week, month after month... something different had happened.

So, I guess the best way to put it was for the first time in a long time, you felt that tomorrow could actually be different.

And that was all you needed.