#kind of a crack HC

[limear]

…you know those funky coloured glasses they give dyslexic kids to make reading easier in the long run? Yknow this:

….

………..

….so

[lotus-lost-n-found]

Jason moves around very quietly despite being built like a brick shithouse; so he frequently scares people when they turn around to find this 6'4" muscle man behind them despite hearing nothing. He is only second to Cass.

Therefore Cass & Jason have made a tally of people they freak out just by standing near someone until they are perceived. Whoever has the most tallies at the end of the month will be treated to a store of their choice by the loser.

[yoshikoooo]

WIND BREAKER HCS|Fem! Reader

Featuring: umemiya hajime, Sakura haruka, kaji ren , jo togame. synopsis: your friend needed help in their butler cafe, and you agreed forced to cooperate. Reader is simply crossdressing. Warnings : Fem! reader, slight ooc, slight suggestive on umemiya and togame's parts, cursing, established relationship, role playing, reader is flirty.

"Y/n, I beg you!" Shima pleaded desperately, clutching onto your leg with an iron grip, her eyes pleading beneath the butler-style outfit and wig that transformed her into an uncanny likeness of one hell of a butler. "Huh? You expect me to wear those lame ass suits—" watch your mouth girl "It'll only be for a day, I promise. You'll get paid handsomely, and all you have to do is smile at the ladies!" Her grip tightened on your leg, eliciting a frustrated groan from you, annoyance etched across your face. "Damn it, but no pictures nor words can leak," you insisted firmly.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･SAKURA HARUKA °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The cutest tomato in the whole world. come fight me if you disagree

"So why the heck are we buying a damn cake here in a butler café?" Sakura whispered loudly enough for the group to hear, earning a chuckle from the man with tasseled earrings. A reaction of a virgin is honestly amusing right suo?

already tapping his foot anxiously as he noticed that almost the cafe is filled with women. 'fuck fuck fuck fuck-'

This cutie patotie is scared. but wont admit it.

He felt like he just walked on a tigers den.

"Their cakes are the best-selling. Hiragi wanted us to get one since it's Tsubakino-san's birthday," Nirei explained, causing Sakura to click his tongue in mild annoyance. "Why can't we just buy it at a normal cake shop"

suo who is watching their captain's every movement is amused at the situation.

"That doesn't make sense; they're just wearing some fancy suits," Sakura remarked, unimpressed.

He had some thoughts that what if you were one of the customers here

'.....'

and that created some kind of fog on his lungs and suddenly he felt his head clouded.

it was clear that he kind of not wanted that.

He would be jealous

especially when his eyes landed on a particular butler. The suit was perfectly tailored, fitting the butler like a glove. As the butler helped a lady who had stumbled, a chorus of delighted squeals erupted from nearby women, clearly enamored by his looks and chivalry.

"Wait, that butler looks familiar," Suo echoed Sakura's thoughts as he observed the butler assisting the lady. "H-huh, Y/n-san...?" Nirei suddenly exclaimed as the realization dawned on him. 'huh' Sakura watched you smile sweetly at the ladies. "W-What is that idiot doing here—" "Oh, Y/n-san looks good in a suit. I didn't know she had that kind of hobby," Suo remarked, watching their leader turn red as he looked at you, handsomely serving. 'Surprisingly it suited you' "Eh, did Y/n-san not tell you?" Suo questioned, glancing at Sakura, who shook his head. "No..." Just then, you took an order from the counter. "Y/n, that's a takeout for the Furin boys over there," one of the chefs informed you, making you freeze on the spot. "F-Furin?" you stuttered, slowly looking at the group already watching you. "Damn it," you muttered, deciding to remain professional and maintain the butler façade as you approached their table. "Young masters, your le fraisier cake is served for takeout. Please enjoy," you said, flashing them the same charming smile you usually reserved for the ladies. "O-Oh, thanks, Y/n-san!" Nirei stammered, causing your brow to twitch. 'Fuck, they know.' "You look so handsome, Y/n-san," Suo added, smiling beside Nirei. 'Was that really a compliment?' Then you looked at the half-haired boy, seeing him averting his gaze. "No compliment from you, young master?" you asked, smirking at your boyfriend, who was as red as a tomato. with a big huff, He quickly stood up and made his way to the door, the other two following suit, prompting you to follow them as well. "I shall await your return, young masters," you said, your voice smooth and confident. With a swift, practiced motion, you took Sakura's hand and placed a light kiss on it, earning a startled shriek from him. Your mischievous eyes met his, watching him tremble and turn an even deeper shade of red. 'Just how red can you get?' "Y-You idiot!"

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮KAJI REN ✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮

Won't notice that it was you at first cause this man won't stare at a random dude in the eyes.

Why would he make his way out for just a random dude wearing a cringey cosplay?

Excuse me, that is your girl over there

you didn't inform him about the butler cafe. Cause why? It was embarrassing. uwu

You can't handle any more degradation.

You were honestly fighting demons when you agreed to buy something on the store with this stuffy, uncomfy, cringey outfit.

you prayed to be invisible for a day. The humiliation is eating you inside out, and if your boy found you wearing that, urgh Go bury yourself in some hole.

This boy is a judger. Basically would eye you up and down and his eyebrow would twitch.

He won't be honest with you, he did not want to admit that you honestly looked handsome. Tsundere things...

irritated by the fact that you were an inch taller than him now. What kind of fucking miracle of a shoes did they give you?! He had some urge to burn those shoes away.

The chefs at the café asked you to buy cream from the store, noting how busy the place was with so many customers. On your way back, you got caught up in a fight. Just as you were about to fall, a large hand grabbed your shoulder a bit roughly, steadying you. The familiar scent of sweet vanilla reached your senses. He quickly stood you upright, not daring to look at you directly. Why would he even look at a man? Before you knew it, the fight ended, and the blonde was about to scold you for just walking into a fight. "Hey, what were you doing—" he started, but stopped midway when he realized it was you. "H-Hey—" "What the heck are you wearing?" he asked, his eyes scrutinizing your outfit. "Haha, ain't I handsome?" you said with a grin, flashing him the signature smile that made the ladies at the café squeal. "Have you gone crazy?" he remarked harshly, as expected, making you chuckle awkwardly. "Now now, I'm just helping a friend," you explained, and the blonde in front of you nodded lazily. 'A friend, huh?' "Oops, I still need to give them the cream," you said, glancing at Kaji, who seemed to be watching your every move. He remained silent, appearing somewhat out of it. 'You're going back there in that outift...? seriously?' "Young master, will you give this lowly servant a kiss before I go?" you teased theatrically, causing his eyes to widen and his face to flush a deep red as he tried to hide his embarrassment. You smirked at his reaction, taking the opportunity to grasp his hand and gently remove the lollipop from his mouth, replacing it with a soft peck on the lips. "H-Huh?!" "Sweet," you mumbled just loud enough for him to hear, watching him remain still and red as you placed the lollipop back in his mouth. He looked like he is about to explode. "Just you wait until we get home," he threatened, though his flustered state made it less intimidating. "Oops," you thought, quickly turning and running back to the café as fast as possible.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・UMEMIYA HAJIME・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

A big ball of sunshine here.

Hajime was shocked when he just saw a random dude wearing a fancy suit walking by.

"What a fancy guy" he remarked as he continued eyeing the guy.

but looking up close, His smile widened.

He honestly loved how you look so good in that butler outfit.

But why didn't you told him at least? This big boy's kokoro is hurt urgh. and yeah, you forgot to tell him since you were busy contemplating your life decision.

He might ask you to cross dress again. oh god no.

But then again you'd already lost your dignity the moment you agreed to this, so what was there to lose now? still no.

looking at you again, ah- How badly he wanted to just keep you to himself.

Doesn't mind the PDA that much so when he approached you, he quickly locked his arms on your waist.

Remember, there are furin boys all over the town-

"Eh, I-Is that Hajime-senpai—" one of the Furin-coated boys stammered, eyes widening as they saw their strong captain kissing a... man? A butler, specifically? "Shit, should we tell Y/n-san?" "I-I'm not sure." "But how do we tell her?" Click "I'll keep a picture in case she doesn't believe me." "Wait, let's just pretend we didn't see anything." Meanwhile, you glared at the white-haired man in front of you. Your eyebrows twitched in annoyance. How the hell are you not even taller than your man despite wearing these huge ass heels? You still looked small standing next to him, frustratingly unable to match his height, unlike how you towered over some of the ladies. "Hajime, I still need to go back," you said, trying to remove the strong arms of the man in front of you. "Hmmm... I want a hug from my butler," he cooed, nestling his head against your neck. "No, we're outside, Hajime," you whispered, but he simply hummed in response. "You're too handsome, I'm getting jealous," you heard him pout against your neck, making you sigh in disbelief. "I'm wearing makeup."

"Still." You cupped his cheeks, and he finally stopped nestling into your neck, making you smile softly. "My dearest lord, may you permit this lowly servant of yours to return to tending his duties?" you said, slipping back into your butler persona. You took his hand and placed it gently on your cheek. "Such a devoted servant," he replied with a grin, finally releasing you but not before planting another kiss on your forehead. "Don't make me wait too long." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile tugging at your lips. "I won't. Now behave while I'm gone."

____ A day passed, and the usual buzz of activity surrounded you. Some of the Furin boys approached you, their curiosity evident. "Y/n-san, are you alright with our captain?" one of them asked, a hint of concern in his voice. You shrugged it off with a smile. "It's the same as usual," you replied casually. But then, one of them pulled out his phone and showed you a picture. Your eyes widened in shock as you saw the image of you and Hajime kissing while you were in your butler outfit. You forced an awkward smile, your mind racing. 'I-I can't say I'm the one he's kissing right...?'

⋆꙳·̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆TOGAME JO⋆꙳·̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

This sly dog. Although I don't mind, arf arf.

He was drinking ramune when a handsome dude passed him by.

"Cosplay....?" he mused slowly, noticing the man's attire wasn't just an ordinary suit. His gaze followed the man, who had paused because a cat was blocking his path.

How heart warming it is to see a guy wearing a fancy suit to stop infront of the cat just to pet it. I mean who can't resist the furballs?

He had thoughts on how the hell did the guy handle the heat despite wearing such layers?

Cause if he was wearing one, He's sure He'd rip it hours ago.

and when he caught a glimpse of the face- 'Huh?'

He did kind of contemplate if that was really you. I mean you looked more... handsome?

His smirk widened as he confirmed it was you by the distinctive placement of your moles.

Slowly and unnoticed, he walked up to you. Just as you stood to return to the café, you were suddenly pinned against a nearby wall.

you shriek as you slowly opened your eyes to see the perpetrator.

"Hey, prince charming," the deep voice of Togame made you flinch and look directly into his eyes. His glasses slightly hid his amused gaze.

"Jo! Are you really serious?" you said in disbelief, sighing in relief that it wasn't one of the creepy dudes.

He brushed off your comment, continuing to eye you with a playful intensity.

"Looking hot, ain't ya?" he smirked as you shrank under his gaze, still pinned against the wall.

"You think so too?" you smiled sheepishly, the corners of your mouth lifting as the man before you giggled.

"I can't believe I've been dating a man this whole time," he joked, his voice mockingly disheartened.

You chuckled softly, reaching up to grab his chin.

"Young lord, would a kiss suffice as an apology?"

Your eyes glistened with mischief, catching him off guard with your sudden change of attitude. Who knew you had this cheeky side too?

You sure do like testing his limits as he leaned in closer to you.

"I don't think a kiss would... suffice," he said slowly, his breath warm against your skin.

Your heart raced as you felt the heat of his body pressing closer.

He leaned in, his lips barely brushing yours, teasing and testing your resolve.

"I think you'll need to do a lot more than that to make it up to me,"

With a sudden, bold move, you closed the gap between you, capturing his lips in a kiss that was both soft and demanding. The intensity of the moment made your heart race, but you pulled away before things could escalate further.

"My break is about to end," you said, noting the disappointment in his eyes despite the lingering smile on his lips.

"Eh... ditch it," he replied casually. You pecked his lips again, and with a swift movement, you slipped past his hold.

A cheeky smile escaped your lips as you glanced back.

"no can do,"

He watched your figure fade into the distance, a mixture of amusement and something darker in his gaze.

"right...I'll see you later anyway,"

[lovesickeros]

now that natlan is out it's tsaritsa yearning hours again because i am one nation closer to either being horribly disappointed or foaming at the mouth!

creator!reader w a little side of conflicted tsaritsa is such good food I can't not yap about it. a woman who has dedicated so much of her life to severing herself from "love" of all kinds and succeeding and. just being so confident that when she meets you she's bitter and angry and mean. because she can't stand you. she isn't supposed to love yet you worm your way into her heart anyway and you don't even know it.

especially in smth like an imposter au. she tells herself your just a tool for her to use but your treated like the Divine you really are, pampered and spoiled every step. tells herself it means nothing when she indulges you – let's you hold her hand in private, eventually let's you move aside the veil, just a little.

and she hates it. hates how easy it is to let you break down the ice she's built up for years.

all you do is smile and she feels like she can't breathe. because despite how violently she rejects love in all aspects, it always bleeds through eventually. she despises it but the way you brush your thumbs over her cheeks makes her bitter and warm and it infuriates her to no end.

she hates you and she loves you and she can't stand you and if you were ever taken from her she'd destroy every inch of teyvat if she had to go get you back.

and ironically enough I think she'd also be the one to initiate any first kiss. maybe she's still trying to convince herself it's just a fluke and itll make her realize it meant nothing, it means nothing. desperate to fix whatever you've done to her and instead it just makes it worse.

a horrible mess of a woman who gave up on love just to be confronted with it when she finally accepted it's absence.

[little-demy]

Lurien would have an itabag full of 30+ Pale King badges with matching decorations and aesthetic and an altar full of Pale King related items/merchandise and if twitter exist in HK world he'd be that person who post the picture of a whole room full of PK merch with the caption Happy Birthday and the special tag just like those jp fans with tons of merch of their oshi

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

crack-y AU where Hua Cheng's ascension at the creation of E-ming straight up resurrected him, and he's just really pissed about the idea of owing anything to heaven so he voluntarily keeps his heart turned off and his skin cold and refuses to breathe and builds up the legend of himself as a ghost until everyone has forgotten any other possibility.

therefore his default existence is actually being alive, and being all ghosty is an active choice he's making. hence the occasional startled doki-doki and the involuntary boners. 🤣🤣

[rustedleopard]

Absolutely HATE the trope of "Lucas doesn't swear because he's baby uwu and/or Kumatora and Duster dissuade from doing so" because for one thing, Lucas has been growing up/acting more like an adult post chapter 3 and beyond, and that's a huge aspect of Mother 3; and for another, do you really think Kumatora wouldn't be having the time of her life teaching this gentle and soft spoken 13 year old some of the FILTHIEST words in her vocabulary???

[ask-thearchivists]

Hey space things? Is you all the gay?

The Cartographer: What does "gay" mean?

The Coordinator: Archaically, it means "happy" but in this context I believe they are using it to denote sexual orientation. Which means the answer to this is no. The concept of sexuality has some affiliation with gender, both of which lack solid definitions when you try to be more specific as to which since it varies in the minds of the people who experience it from person to person. Our relation between our sense of attraction and gender is entirely disconnected because we do not actually have gender as you mortals perceive it. It is all aesthetic for us, even preferred means of address. Though if you refer to us incorrectly on purpose I will happily allow you to be vivisected.

The Charmer: There is a concept some more advanced species have thought of, called "omnisexual" which has implications of finding any gender that might exist potentially attractive, hence the prefix "omni", even if this is not necessarily how mortals use it. This is closer to us.

The Curator: We're all gay for everyone.

[le-agent-egg]

why stop at trans ishimondos everyone in trigger happy havoc is trans/nonbinary/gnc in some way shape or form

[caimitos]

saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad

[swordmaid]

thinking about hag romance sparring 🤭 which I think is a very rare event bc god forbid astarion breaks a nail but in the off chances they do it becomes a matter of who fights more dirty bc shri’iia overpowers him in strength but he has faster reflexes and he’s very inclined to cheat. so then it becomes this fun little spar where it’s his dual daggers vs her one polearm, astarion always trying to disarm her by doing funky moves and distracting her vs shri’iia going for his shin and ankles so he trips over. then they forego the weapons and end up just rolling around the floor like kittens trying to pin each other down - which astarion does bc he has a secret third knife that he whips out and holds over her that forces her to yield and shri’iia’s like oh noooo u caught meeee. che..! whatever should I dooooo 🤭🤭😏😏 very quickly becomes foreplay and whoever was watching them spar is just like brother eughhhhh 😟😟😒😒🤢🚫🚫

[boombambaby]

-- COMFORT ITEMS;

#3 The STOP THE SHOW Remote!

To the shock and disbelief of absolutely NO ONE, Kuzco was not an easy child to wrangle. Nannies, servants, Yzma-- no one was able to easily corral him when it came to meetings or obligations, and more often than not, they had to find him because he made a special game out of hiding from them for as long as possible.

On a particularly dull afternoon when he was a child, while Kuzco was in the garden playing with Wompy and a handful of servants whose only responsibility was to keep an eye on him and to keep him clean prior to the banquet happening later that evening-- one nanny came up with an idea to keep the young King entertained, and most importantly? Within their sight.

She had crafted a 'remote control', nothing super complicated but complicated enough to make it look real. After sharing her idea, she feigns using on one of the other servants to make him 'freeze' in place, and then makes a show out of moving him around and saying things that he seemingly isn't able to hear while she manipulates him.

Kuzco thinks that it's absolutely hilarious, and claps along with the rest of the servants while they watch the spectacle. Eventually he gets bored and wants to try it for himself, so he demands the remote and wastes no time to aim it at the rest of the group and press 'pause', freezing all of the nannies in place so he can wander around them, poking them and laughing when none of them move for him.

It was so entertaining to him that he played with it for the rest of the day, and from that point forward, kept the remote with him at ALL times to 'pause' the show when he wants to see something closer, or so he could explain something better. Which of course results in him talking to himself in place of his 'imaginary audience' a LOT.

Servants and nannies carry the tradition throughout the years, the remote becoming a 'running joke' of sorts that they follow along with any time Kuzco points the remote at them. He's more subtle with it as he grows older, but becomes no less obsessed with it. It's his favorite toy, and something he holds very near and dear to his heart.

It very quickly became a source of comfort for him, a way for him to cope with things as he grew up alone with such a heap of responsibility on his shoulders, and a way to make sense of some of the more outrageous things that happen in his life.

[fairymint]

Was thinking about pokerogue and got suddenly reminded of the one headcanon I ever recall hating;

Did you know that a lot of normies(or non pokemon-players, really), including my husband, have the headcanon that Professor Willow grinds spare pokemon down into the Candies?

[haresvoid]

Ome with literally everything else: I mean you no harm I just wanna vibe, have a chat, maybe diagnose your problems Ome with any other Mind Flayer: If I see even the smallest hint of problematic behavior I will fight you

[fellhellion]

Xina/Miguel + casual touch has ME screaming crying throwing up actually.

[erabundus]

... when your blood tastes like electricity and sour patch kids.