#killing myself. not really. crying instead ig

[yelloworangesoda]

my college doesnt want me to go to college bc i have been typing in my exact id number and name as sent to me in the mail and theyre like "ummm. sorry what the fuck are you talking about" you!!!! sent this to me!!!!!

[wayfayrr]

I hope life eases up soon man, take care of yourself

Thanks mate <3

stuff's starting to gradually get better now, actually let myself feel feelings after bottling them till it popped

just kinda turns out that throwing yourself into something so you're numb to the other things can really burn you out :') So I'm trying to find motivation to write and answer asks again, I'm hoping it'll be soon but idk atp

[tojiscrack]

Guess who found your fic on ao3 at 11pm, not noticing the 108k words on the bottom and got so hooked even by the half quarter of the first chapter that resulted in her staying awake until 10 am, reading all 108k words in one sitting. Yes me. Me, who got so hooked she read it all in one sitting. Me, who’s now so emotionally attached to this fic that she’s anxious about your comments under the chapters, stating that THE MAIN PLOT hasn’t even STARTED YET. Me, who knows DAMN WELL the little caterpillars and butterflies and the moths story Megumi and y/n read out is for sure foreshadowing. Me, who’s noticed several butterfly symbolism used over the course of the story. Me, who screamed into her pillow when it was stated that y/n’a dress resembled a butterfly. Me, who’s seen your comment replying to someone, stating that there MIGHT be some kind of drifting apart. Me, who’s well ware of the Heavy Angst tag on the fic. Me, who knows that an author who’s this good at delivering humor and fluff is gonna DESTROY me when the angst is gonna be written. Me, who half regrets now that she’s discovered the story because she’s scared of all that’s about to come.

You seriously have a way with words, dialogue, symbolism, humor, the bond between every character. It’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you SOMEHOW do it SO WELL. I’m just. God. All the thoughts I have on this fic would maybe even rival the 108k words you’ve written up until now but I don’t have the capacity to put them into words as well as you do.

just know that this fic impacted me so much, so badly, years from now on after it's finished, I'll still think about it and re-read it.

so excited (and scared as hell ngl) to see where you'll be going with this story. I may havw joined late but I am sticking around till the end.

love you, great work <3

liar, liar masterlist here:

yayyy, another ao3 reader 😫 welcome to the tumblr crew, i’m so glad you’re hereeee ❤️‍🩹

i had to go back and check whether it really is 108k words and i found myself shocked bc damn, i really wrote that much? 😭 if i put half the effort i put into this story into my essays instead, maybe i’d be a better student but we live and we learn ig 😬

“emotionally attached” to the fic is mind blowing to me 🥹 i didn’t know it’d have this big of an impact on someone but i can’t say i’m displeased. that’s one of the nicest things i’ve heard on here (among other things ofc). ugh, you’re so nice for sending a message on that 🩷

and yes, you are absolutely right. the main plot does not start until next chapter (or more accurately — in terms of drama — somewhere down the line AFTER that) 👀 idk which comment i said that on but i trust ur judgement ‘cause i remember mentioning that somewhere 😭 DON’T BE SCARED, IT’LL BE FUN (and thrilling and scary) BUT STILL 😊

the butterfly thing you mentioned is interesting, actually 🫢 maybe i just really like butterflies (even tho they scare the ever living shit out of me and i nearly killed a few in the london zoo YEARS ago as a child cuz i was fidgeting since they just let them roam free in that greenhouse thingy and i was scared for my life and dying of heat with the humidity?).

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN STALKING MY PAGE BC I DO REMEMBER SAYING SMTH ALONF THOSE LINES I JUST CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE 😭 but i invite you to continue doing so bc i like watching my lovely little liars squirm and then send in their predictions and fear 😋 and this long, juicy message has me giggling to myself and REELING 🤭

yeah, but we’re not holding back on the heavy angst tag… er… buckle up? it’s gonna go downhill from here on out 😟

“you seriously have a way with words” — stop.

“it’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you somehow do it so well” — DOUBLE, TRIPLE, QUADRUPLE, INFINITY STOP OR I’LL CRY 🥹 no one has ever said that about my writing, and in fact, i hadn’t even noticed that myself 😭 i think i’m gonna levitate in glee ✨ to know it flows well enough for it to be commented on (out of ur own free will and not me pressing a gun to ur forehead), it’s just UGHHH so nice and sweet and i’m so glad you’ve joined the liar, liar community 😫 warmest welcome ml <3

gosh you’ve put this story on such a high pedestal, i’m almost scared i won’t be able to meet ur standards, even with everything planned beforehand 😟 but i’m willing to try. if you’re here for the super long ride (my updates are sporadic and will continue to be a such as the time goes on).

it was definitely not a LATE arrival per se — the liar, liar family is still pretty small. i’ve only got about 321 followers, so definitely not as much as the bigger jjk writers on here, and half of those are split between my megumi fic readers and levi fic readers. i now consider you an og just bc this analysis was so in depth and interesting, i found myself smiling so hard my cheeks hurt 🙂‍↔️

but i love you SO much for this. i’d love to see more comments and messages from you. don’t be afraid to spam me if you must (in fact, i encourage it!!!) 😁 i get so giddy and excited and motivated when ppl send me their predictions. it’s one of the greatest things about writing (and the best part imo).

have a lovely day! and i can’t wait for you to see the next chapter and what i have in store for you <3

[vintagepresley]

I feel like I haven’t been here much. Between the new obsessions I guess I got kinda bored here. 😭 But also real life stuff. My car officially dying on me.. well almost lol. Now having to get a new one. Which I really didn’t want to spend that kind of money, but I don’t have a choice. I feel like this is going to get in the way of me going to Elvis’s 90th. But I’m going to go somehow someway lol. I’ve been manifesting it. Even if I’ve gotta drive that 11 hours instead of flying. I will.

But yeah, I’ve missed my besties and I am always lurking even if I’m not saying anything, lol. Elvis is still number one for me though. I listen to this man every night to go to sleep. So don’t be mad at me Elvis if I’m fangirling over other men right now LMFAO. It’s temporary. 😂

But thank goodness for other people just as obsessed with the Menendez case because I haven’t been able to stop talking about it with some of my Elvis besties on IG. No one in my real life cares. 😂 I’ve been fighting for my life defending them on TikTok from the idiots who still don’t believe them. I don’t care if they killed their parents. They were disgusting pedophiles. They got what they deserved. The empathy and sadness I feel for Erik and Lyle is deep. Just their love for one another and wanting to protect each other makes me emotional. I watch clips of them on TikTok talking about what happened and seeing them get choked up and crying. It really hurts my heart. It triggers a maternal instinct deep inside of me (who knew lol) that it makes me wish I could go back in time and protect them. Like even now these men are twice my age and I wanna protect them because they’re just sweet, gentle souls who’ve been through so much and weren’t given a fair second trial. Like I wish I could’ve been their mother because I would’ve protected my kids and killed Jose myself. Like how could you let your babies be hurt like that bro. Then participate in hurting them.

Okay I’m done ramblingggg

[whimsicalprattler3]

-RANDOM RANDOMING:- Bad part: Now I always try to keep in mind the worst case scenario for anything so I'm somewhat prepared for it when it hits, leads to a lot over overthinking. I tried to sleep at 22:50ish and got into a dream in 5 minutes. I lived a whole new life in the dream and it wasn't a good one. It was me being extremely introverted since my childhood days and managed to make almost no friends, the only loved ones in my life were my grandma, my parents. Then it turns out I've been having a bad day(in the dream) and then I find myself in a car with all my loved ones. We then get into a car crash which kills everyone but me. OFC this wakes me up. Only 50 mins or so have passed(23:40ish). I then avoid sleeping for a bit and sleep early in the morning. Fucking bullshit , the dream resumes from where it ended. I receive the insurance money the next day of the funeral. Then I meet relatives who I can already imagine are drooling after the money. After this it keeps skipping to 1 month later, 3 months later, 6 months later, 1 year later and 3 years later. All the while I've developed trust issues and have not been able to form any new bonds and am basically alone. Finally one day I find a girl who I immediately click with (not romantically btw, just as a good friend and get into her circle too). I finally want to live and be happy, I've got good company, I've started doing a lot better financially too so don't have to rely on the insurance money. Ig it's only a few days since I've met them. Then when I'm on my way back home in my car, happy about how life has changed and overjoyed about my new will to live.... I get into a fucking lethal accident. I don't know who or which car hit me or how I died cause I instantly woke up after that. It took me another 20 mins to process this shit. Fuck them goddamn dreams and people wonder why I'm awake all night. Still I decided to be cheerful with a simple game of luck. I've got around 47 different types of songs all in one playlist and named it 'Fluctuations'. I spot 'Attention' by Charlie Puth in the middle of the playlist. I go, "I'll click 'Shuffle Play' and if that song plays, things will get worse today, if it's any other songs I'll do my best to cheer up." I click 'Shuffle Play' and ISTG it plays 'Attention' by Charlie Puth. WHAT ARE THE FUCKING CHANCES, I'll tell you it's 2.0833% , that how much luck was required to fuck me over. Then I proceeded to go to my classes and meet with friend, turns out she's in the next class and as I'm about to enter the class I get a full on flashback of the dream which makes me wanna not enter the class anymore cause it's not really pleasant. And turns out the universe is not done fucking me. When I reached the centre the lyrics were , "Cause every time I open up, it hurts So I'm never gonna get too close to you Even when I mean the most to you In case you go and leave me in the dirt" When I'm about to enter the door and the flashback plays it went; "But I'm just a tourist to you" and it was the end of the song. This song played after the above one. I decide to shuffle I decide to start the playlist again and start walking to my class and take some time off instead and this fucking stroke of luck , MY FUCKING GOD.... It goes, "I'm way too good at goodbyes (I'm way too good at goodbyes) No way that you'll see me cry (no way that you'll see me cry)" I almost lost my last shred of sanity. I was about to throw hands with air. [GOOD ENDING IN COMMENTS]

[candyredmusings]

“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"

[ratfreecog]

How was newsies vibrates excitedly

IT WAS SO GOOD I SAW IT LAST NIGHT

This school has such a big budget drama program it’s insane good on them for actually valuing the arts. The theater was huge it felt like walking into a professional venue in my city not a high school. I wish my old school cared that much our drama teacher got fired for embezzling our club’s funds. Jack, Davey, Katherine, and Crutchie were all so good it was insane. Also, girl Crutchie!! Hell yeah!!

Predictably, a vast majority of the newsies were girls, but instead of trying to hide it and making them dress and act like boys, they just made them girl newsies and used some of the names from Newsies Jr and the Brooklyn girlsies instead. The only exception to this was Albert, who was played by a very femme person with long hair and a skirt, but was still called Albert, which I think is hilarious and I’m hoping that was the actor’s choice.

They also actually had adults play the adult characters which was interesting?? For a highschool production but good for them ig

My favorite moment was in the last Pulitzer’s office scene when Davey goes “since the strike, your circulation’s been down 70%” and Jack, who was currently laying down across the arms of two chairs, did a sit up and whispered “70%” and then laid back down

Also during the Snyder chase scene at the start they had Jack run up one of these scaffolding buildings that were part of the set, realize it was a dead end at the top, turn around and be cornered by Snyder, and then dived between his legs and ran back down to the floor again. Wonderful choreography 10/10.

Speaking of choreography, they actually tap dance during KONY! Holy shit! Was not expecting that! And it was good! Like really good! Hell yeah. All the dancing was really good actually very similar to the Broadway production but like they did a great job at it.

Crutchie also broke my fucking heart during LFTR she actually started crying on the “your sister, Crutchie” line and so did I in the audience

Jack fucking killed Santa Fe he was awesome. Just always he was awesome but Santa Fe was really fucking good

For the seize the day reprise where they’re singing it while Jack Davey and Spot are going to Pultizer’s office, for some reason (I’m guessing running out of time in rehearsal) instead of having the kids sing they played an audio clip from the proshot and it caught me so offguard and im definitely the only person who noticed because I know every single line in this show and have performed the entire thing by myself in box at my haunt to keep myself entertained in between customers.

Overall it was awesome! I do know this show so well that it haunts me and literally every other line an alarm would go off in my brain for whatever they did and how it compared to other versions of the show and what it might mean for their characters so I could probably go a lot more in depth but these were my main thoughts coming out of it. They did a fantastic job!

[error-dream-was-found]

ooooh okay, for the fic writer thing! 1, 4, 14, 16, 33, 40 and uhhh 56? bonus of 39 (if you want)

Thank you for asking <3

1. "Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?"

I prefer multichaptered fics ... my last attempt to write one-shot turned into 160 000 words long fic (still updating btw)

4. "Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?"

Everywhere ... seriously, it´s a mix of shower thoughts, 3 Am ideas and random things I thought of while reading another fics. For example the 'enderchest torture' idea hit me while I was reading some fic where to get Dream out of Pandora they hide him in an enderchest and my brain just went "wait for how long was he there? What was it like for him? Would it even be possible?" And I moved from there. That one is one of my less developed ideas but it´s a good example of my thought process ig. Or fics like 'monsters don´t deserve hugs but you aren´t a monster' came from that single sentence. I thought about it while reading some fic where Dream went "I´m a monster I don´t deserve nice things and it spiraled from there.

14. "how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?"

It depends on my mood ig? If that makes sense. Sometimes I really get into it and even make myself cry. But sometimes I'll ruin these characters lives with zero care. I certainly draw from personal experience as much as I can. Although I don't really have much personal experience with the stuff I'm writing about so *shrugs*

16. "How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?"

*counts on fingers* ehm ... well if I count in the half-baked ideas and all that ... I think I could have roughly 15-20? (I wanna talk about them T-T)

You already know about the superhero one (although I have new trauma for blob!), so I'll say a bit about a different idea one of my dremon fics perhaps? I don't have a name yet but the mail story line pretty much goes like this: Dream is a demon - cruel creature feeding off humans emotions, mostly happiness. Demons in common are manipulative, heartless and selfish beings that prey on humans.

The rest of the characters are mostly demon hunters (not sure on all members yet but Sapnap, George, Sam and Quackity are certainly there).

The plot basically begins when the hunters catch Dream. He's not very strong and thus not considered a serious threat. Instead of killing him immediately they decide to experiment on him (to learn more about demons), the problem is - Dream is the sweetest person ever. He's nothing like the other demons they've met and well it's kinda hard to dissect someone alive while they rant about the adorable cat that lives in the backstreet behind the convenience store ... (sry for ranting)

33. "Do you want to be published some day?"

Yes but unfortunately I'm not too good with creating original stories and my writing style isn't really good so .... maybe one day ... (until then the closest I'll get is printing my own stories ... that is also a way to practice book binding lol)

40. "If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?"

Honestly? I have no idea. There're just so many scenes I love and I'd absolutely love to see drawn. But if anyone ever were to make a fanart of my fic I'd be over the roof about it, I wouldn't care what scene it is I'd just be so damn happy that they liked the story enough to go through the trouble of creating the art. And any scene they'd pick would be perfect because then I'd know which scene they liked the most.

56. "What's something about your writing that you pride yourself on?"

... I'll be honest I don't think my writing is anything special, there are a few scenes I'm happy with but overall .... *shrugs*

But if there's something I'm really proud of it's probably the fact that I was able to write a story that many people enjoyed. When I started writing 2 years ago I never thought I'll have this many people not only reading my story but also liking it. Sure, it's not that much but it's a lot more than I ever expected! It blows my mind because I know that there are much better fic out there, yet people still decided to read something I wrote. It´s really crazy

39. "Share a snippet from a WIP"

daamn this is getting too long ... Imma sharing a snipped anyway! But what snipped .... I'm feeling like doing an villain arc today so I´m gonna post something from a story I haven't published yet and probably won´t be able to publish for at least few months:

Note: this story is still sitting in my drafts so the grammar check wasn't done yet, therefore there are extra grammar errors which I apologize for

He tripped over something. The tiny sharp rocks covering the forest floor dug painfully into his palms as he tried to slow down his fall and the pain shooting from his scraped knees pushed a new tears into his eyes. He just wanted to stay there on the floor and cry but hte monsters were getting closer. He can´t let them get him, he can´t! Desperately trying to wipe the tears out of his eyes, Dream stood up, only taking a second to glance back at the thing he tripped over. It looked like a fence … looking forward again, the blonde saw a tall dilapidated building. 

It was looming over him in the dead of night like something right out of a scary story his mom would tell him on these good nights when instead of yelling at him she'd put him to bed and if he was lucky she´d tell him a story. He wanted to ran away from the half collapsed building but as scary as it was the monsters were scarier. That building would provide him at least some cover and he needed that desperately. He won´t be able to run all night and the air was already heavily filled with the smell of rain. It was just a question of time till the storm begins. Encouraged by the hisses and groans from behind Dream ran inside. 

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to darkness that was even more prominent now. Once he did he realized he was in what seems to be an abandoned Prime church. He looked around nervously. The place gave him chills. It was clear that no one worshiped Prime here for years, maybe even decades and the place now had a sinister atmosphere to it. As everything holy did when it was forgotten for too long. The cracked, faded paintings of Prime´s angels looked down on him, it felt as if they were watching him, following his every mood. The wooden floors cracked under his weight and from the altar a soft clinging of chains could be heard as the incense swung in the light breeze. 

But the worst of all was the terrible feeling that he's not alone. That there´s something watching him. Someone. No, no he was just being dumb, this place is clearly abandoned. Maybe it's just an animal that settled here. Or these dumb angles. Yeah it must be the angles. It's dark and he's tired, he's just imagining their eyes moving to follow him. 

The first drops of rain hit the ground and a wind whistles through the abandoned church. Goosebumps raised to the surface and Dream shivered. It's just cold, it's just cold, it's just cold. The rain got heavier in just a few minutes. A lightning flashed through the sky and a thunder shook the whole building, just as a voice from somewhere in the shadows spoke up.

“Won't you look at that … a human. What a treat”

The question of who's there froze on Dream’s tongue as another lighting illuminated the inside of the church and the body less shadow floating in front of him. It had a distinct shape of human but none of its features could be seen other than two glowing eyes. It dived for him.

Dream screamed.

- story name: Sweet Little Nightmares (I'm more than willing to talk about this story :)

Sakra nechala som sa uniesť. Dúfám, že som ťa neunudila k smrti a gratulujem ak si sa dostala až sem ;)

[jikjinz]

͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ [i got good luck with you] ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

requested? yes, for anon!

verivery (separate & no kangmin) x fem!reader; headcanon format abt their kinks; mirror sex, thigh jobs, praise, worship, blindfolds, degradation, sex recording (consensual); voyeurism, size difference, impregnation/breeding, dacryphilia, oral fixation, manhandling, orgasm control, tights & skirt fixation; ig that's it

a/n: i am not going to explain myself abt this one. it just happened and yall gotta deal with it. enjoy i guess. also it's divided into 2 parts since it was getting too long kxdksd

LEE DONGHEON; manhandling, mirror sex, orgasm control !

oh, he loves the way your small hands hold his big arms as he’s practically tossing you around like a light plushie. and when he can see it all in a mirror? man is losing it. his mind often goes blank when your wrecked figure is laying on the bed, drooling and crying because he’s doing you so good. and as much as he loves making you so dumb on his dick, he also loves teasing you by stopping right when you were about to cum. and then, flashing you one of his cute smiles, he continues to toss you around the bed into the best position for the mirror to reflect.

no strength was left in your arms but it’s not even necessary, as dongheon is practically doing the whole job for you, picking you up, tossing you on the bed with enough care, like you’re just a little sack of lemons. your moans getting louder with every thrust he makes, suddenly stop falling past your lips. and it’s all because your one hell of a boyfriend pulled his dick out of you at the speed of fast. as you whine and wiggle your hips, you try to convince him to let you finally cum.

“baby, have you forgotten?” he says with that cheeky grin, staring into your eyes through the mirror’s reflection, and you do the same while whining all your pleas. a soft chuckle escaped dongheon’s lips. “that’s my girl.”

BAE HOYOUNG; tights, oral fixation, praise (giving) !

do not even try to go out on a date with him while wearing tights, unless you want to end up in his bed instead of a cafe. he takes his time with you, taking off every piece of your and his clothing, leaving only your tights on. his hands go up and down your legs, squeezing the plush of your body here and there. one time your ice cream melted and a few droplets fell on your finger; when hoyoung saw how your tongue swirls around the finger, he hasn’t been ok since. despite the ways you mess with his head, thoughts, body, and basically everything, he still loves you with all his might and he has to let you know how wonderful you are.

“so beautiful, so gorgeous, so- mmm,” kissing his way from your ankle to your thighs, hoyoung is blabbering things that first come to his mind. and since these are only praises of your beauty… it’s another story. nibbling on your sensitive thighs right above the hem of your tights, he roams with his hands around your legs, still not able to get enough of them. “god, you’re so- mes- merizing. i- there’s not enough words to describe how i feel about you, darling.”

your answer is simple; it’s a quiet hum mixed with a whine while squirming around under his touch. that’s when hoyoung gets up and starts to hover over you, hand on your cheek and his thumb caressing your lips. you know what that means, so you do exactly what he wants; you part your lips and let his thumb inside your mouth. as you start sucking on it, twirling your tongue around it skillfully, he almost loses it immediately. 

“ah, fuck- you’re gonna kill me someday with that divine beauty of yours.

HONG MINCHAN; size difference, impregnation/breeding, dacryphilia !

he finds it cute when you gasp quietly when he gets the stuff from the highest shelves with ease, so close to you, one of his big hands around your waist, his chest right by your back. the way you squirm and whimper quietly when he’s cuddling with you, all that overwhelming size difference is really turning him on. oh, how much he’d love to see the even smaller versions of you!!! that is why he always finishes inside. and bonus points if you start crying from the overbearing pleasure.

cries, moans, and some blabbering slip past your lips when minchan finally pushes himself all the way inside you. a little break for a lot of reassuring and full of love kisses, and as you relax, he starts moving. slowly, with the last bits of self-control, to not hurt you, he moves in sync with your hips rolling. 

“do you wanna be a mama?” minchan asks, feeling the familiar sensation in his lower parts and placing kisses all over your neck, watching your beautiful face.

“yes- yes! make- me- a mama- ah!”

holy moly, he wasn’t expecting such pleas, but who is he to disobey? and to disobey YOU, his little darling, crying so prettily over the stretch his dick caused. with a smile, another series of kisses, and a finishing roll of his hips, minchan shoot his load almost right into your womb.

| PART 2 | VERIVERY MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST |

@ jikjinz & @ sha-la-la, do not repost, translate or copy without permission!

[atopvisenyashill]

sidebar- listening to a podcast about this season of survivor w two former players (it was rob cesternino and cassidy clarke, if u watch survivor) and there’s a player on this season, venus, who’s been the outcast for a while, but last few weeks all her opps have walked out one by one and rob goes “i think she’s got kind of an arya stark arc going on” and before he could finish cassidy whispers into her mic “she’s no one” it was hilarious aksjd (he meant as in venus is going through her kill list and might get to the end alive) ANYWAYS-

some changes i’ve noticed

i feel like part of why the series stumbles is bc it doesn’t discuss lyanna as much as it should. having that added “we’ll talk about your mother when i return” scene right before robert & ned’s talk about jon snow’s mother And the targaryens was really good tho, narratively linking the two concepts.

HOWEVER i think like rhaegar & robert, d&d saw lyanna more as a puzzle than a person, but the whole point of lyanna is that she was a living breathing girl to ned and her death completely wrecks him in an irreparable way. so when they cut out his entire milk of the poppy dream sequence later on, it cuts out that she wasn’t just the answer to a riddle of “who was jon snow’s mother” but instead an integral part of the narrative whose absence defines the people ned and jon become. but i’m getting ahead of myself bc they haven’t actually changed anything here yet and the scene where ned and robert stop to talk is really good and more or less what happens in the book aksjdj.

i don't understand why they don't have catelyn thank summer for saving her and bran from the assassin. just another mind boggling decision and weird, unnecessary departure from cat's character

another unnecessary change is taking away ned’s fashionista tendencies smFh they don’t get nedcat at all

the way jaime is like oh ned is gonna be my bestie we’re gonna trade war stories we’re gonna flirt i’ll tell him about his brother’s gruesome death and he’ll be so grateful he’ll become MY best friend instead of robert’s and meanwhile ned is like, openly snarling the whole speech. the way ned’s mouth drops open at the GALL of jaime to say killing aerys felt like justice and jaime looks DEVASTATED and PERPLEXED that this man hates him so much when they’ve talked twice aksjdjd

okay first of all I DO IN FACT GET THE CHANGE of having bran say he had to have fallen whole robb insists he never falls, and we all know this scene lives forever in my mind but i also think it’s a) another weird departure from bran’s canon, very stubborn character and b) a PALE imitation of the talk in the dark between robb & bran where they say they’ll go on an adventure

that said, there’s something that Really fucks me up about the North having this culture wherein the sick and disabled are sent out in the winter to fight and die because they’re not like, worth feeding, but at the same time As A Disabled Person i guess finding it almost enticing to be given to the chance to like Die For A Reason ya know. you always have that out. And then here’s poor sweet Bran who it just never occurred to him that he would have to take that out and now it’s all he wants. anyways i’m crying ig

it’s the stubborn streak in him. he doesn’t want platitudes, he doesn’t want to be strong. his whole life has changed for the worse and he just needs to sit in it. it’s not fair and it all sucks and he’s just a kid!!!

the robert and barristan scene is another good one and it’s bc it plays into robert’s character, really elevates the elephant in the room of rhaenys & aegon, and the way barristan is just. disgusted. standing there consumed with loathing for everything he’s become, refusing to engage with being a driving force for why everything is this way. dragging jaime in to humiliate him in front of barristan, to humiliate barristan in front of jaime. the way barristan almost reaches out to jaime emotionally in a way he refuses to reach out to robert, but robert only gets angry and picks at them more.

“he said the same thing he’d been saying for hours. ‘burn them all.’” OH NOW ITS NOT SO FUN ANYMORE IS IT WISE GUY

gonna be honest i think the weapon talk between jorah and rakharo is one of the sexiest scenes in the show, listening to two dudes who are hit in REALLY different ways talk about their favorite ways of murdering people is really fun and hot to me also elyes gabel and amrita acharia were wasted on this show, they would have killed in later seasons smh

i don’t understand why they made the drogo storyline like a REAL TYPICAL sort of rape romance story. what was the point if they were just gonna be ~in love~ at the end anyway. such a weird choice.

do i love the change from “fear cuts deeper than swords” to “what do we say to the god of death”? like it’s fine. they should have kept both if they liked that line so much. the actor who plays syrio is so good tho he’s got such great chemistry with maisie, you really understand why syrio impacts her so much

that ending close up on ned’s trauma face is so good it’s such a shame they CUT THE DREAM SEQUENCE WHERE WE FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY NED IS LOSING IT WATXGING ARYA GET FAKE STABBED IN THE GUT. ITS FINE. IM FINE.

general thoughts

“it’ll get easier” jorah is a useless binch just like aemon the dragonknight. what’s the point of your sword if you don’t kill your girl’s evil husband. go fall on it shithead.

i do love that jorah is like “ned is a little bitch for trying to behead me for slavery even tho it’s been illegal in westeros for like hundreds of years. but also maybe having a king that allows behavior like that is kinda crazy actually bc viserys is not right in the head. i’m not gonna reflect on that at all tho” iain glenn the actor that you are.

love the lannister breakfast scene. the way tyrion clearly knows but is pointedly talking around it. jaime thinks tyrion is the height of comedy and wants them to have a nice breakfast but cersei leaves haughtily halfway through even tho tommen & myrcella are having a good time. the Loaded Look jaime gives tyrion during the “life is full of possibilities” line, where he like,,,, Almost realizes Tyrion is saying something to him here emotionally about being disabled before he puts it aside to be self involved about the incest.

kit’s acting is always several degrees of magnitude better when he’s with other starklings. idk if he’s trying harder or if maisie sophie and isaac are so good they infect him with acting abilities.

there’s something fun about the cycles continuing bc joffrey gets drunk & belligerent like his father has a thousand times, but he doesn’t have half the skill or charm as his father and just gets his ass completely handed to him by a practical toddler with zero training. and he’s so embarrassed it helps snowball this situation into a war.

the kid who plays micah is real awkward. i'm not bullying i'm just saying.

“we all pray for prince joffrey’s full recovery” “pity you didn’t spare a prayer for the butcher’s boy” GET HIS ASS

have i mentioned how much i hate aiden’s acting. oh my god i’m not gonna get through this rewatch aksjsj

“war was easier than daughters” ned every emotion you’ve ever felt is harder to deal with than the war that’s why you’re so fucked in the head be so fucking fr with me rn lmao

septa mordane is a terrible guardian i think this can’t be understated

“she must take his side even when he is wrong” “but how could you let her marry someone like that?” GET HIS ASS

bran literally shivering with fear as nan talks my baby!!!!!!!!

“ah the starks. quick tempers. slow minds.” CAN WE SKIP THE EVIL VILLAIN MONOLOGUES TO THE CAMERA PLEASE

“i think we can outfox a ten year old” jaime you couldn’t even kill that ten year old correctly let’s walk before we run

nedcat giggling over ned throttling petyr and then making out in front of petyr’s establishment is amazing i’m literally so depressed right now i hope petyr cried into his pillow that night

the way both ned AND benjen just give the most ass goodbyes to jon for no good reason. are they TRYING to give him a complex oh my god

i think i’m on episode 4. once i get past season one i think it’ll be easier when the writing gets worse actually.

[aajjks]

no one listen to alina. vote jorja & y/n cus i’m sure the anon might follow the poll like last time (no offense anon 😭)

but here’s my intake on this:

i myself genuinely think they’re better apart than together. when they’re together it’s cute ngl. i was rooting for them but then that happened. i def got a bone to pick with y/n bcs WHY DF DID YOU NOT STAND UP FOR YOUR MAN?!!! i would’ve fucked yerin up 👊🏾 and as for JK why the hell would you punch an innocent man on the clock 😭 could’ve just snatch y/n up and fuss her out that way. idk how they would’ve talked about it beforehand if the party was a SURPRISE but you could’ve done that ig? both were wrong and i really felt bad for JK specifically like that really hurt my feelings when he left crying. matter of fact, make JK fall in love with me. i’ll treat him right 😂😂😂 (don’t tell TC!JK y’all. don’t want him to catch me cheating)

Honestly, I agree with you 100% but here’s my take on this situation.

See now tpol jk is someone who loves really hard but when you break his heart, he expects an apology and whenever he broke her heart or hurt her feelings, he worked really hard to make up for it and she made him work hard for it [and rightfully so] but he’s just a type of man to expect the same effort back.

He regrets getting chae pregnant. We all know that even if he was under the influence, he still feels guilty about it. And yn had a really big heart, and she accepted him and his son like her own.

I think that yn is very familiar with his possessiveness and his insecurity when it comes to seeing her with other men and it made me kind of upset that she didn’t defend him in front of yerin who keeps on insulting him by the way, and is always talking shit about their relationship, and she really has no right to do that, so he got hurt by that as well because he’s always protecting yn, even from his father, he literally killed his father because he hurt yn, he broke up with chae because he still had feelings for yn and she hurt her.

Honestly, I think that jk was 30% wrong because he punched an innocent stripper, but yn was 70% wrong for not defending him, and… she should’ve.. I think rejected the strippers advances because he did the same thing, and he expects the same from her.

And if he did as you just suggest that he would’ve just snatched her away and confronted her about it. I think that would’ve been a mistake because all of you would think that he’s very toxic and very rough with her and I didn’t want him to do that to her but I wanted him to confront that guy instead

And another thing I would like to point out because most of you guys are missing that point, is that yerin shouldn’t have posted that video on her story, she deliberately posted it knowing that it would bother yns fiancé a lot, and she knows him very very well. It’s like she wanted him to react that way to kind of prove that he’s not the right man for her best friend to yn and jorja.

She knew how he would react, but she still posted that video, knowing that he would see it 100% and how can you not expect him to react the way he did? And the way yerin called yn Jaemins maid? Like that was a low blow from her and honestly jungkook gave yn the biggest gift a woman could ever have and that is being a mother of someone or being called a mother. We all know he would never use yn for his own baby.

Yerin knew the consequences and I think yn was set up. Plus I think that his reaction was hundred percent correct, why does yerin interfere so much in the relationship like I don’t get her. He hates it when someone interferes in his relationship.

Yn was wrong in two things, and that was that she didn’t defend him and.. she just let him walk away like that. I think he deserves an apology from her and that he deserves to be with her because he’s done so much to have her, and they both belong together in my opinion.

The thing about yn is that she always walks away from him, or lets him walk away from her and never does anything, but.. she just gives up on him :/

Both are very toxic to each other. Even though jk takes more points for being toxic but you get it don’t you?

The real villain here is yerin.

[butters-the-simp]

I think I remember when I realized I had childhood depression. It was the year my grandpa passed away and I knew it would make me sad, my folks had only been telling me that since he had gone into Hospice, but yet when his funeral came around I couldn’t cry. I just sat there next to my sobbing aunts, at the ripe age of 10-12, putting on a brave face because there was nothing else I could do. I’d been so prepared by the time his death came it was like he’d been gone for years. My parents praised me for being ‘adult’ about it, for not breaking down at his wake, but I wish I did. I sat in the car and just stared out the window the whole time home. I found myself isolating myself more, moving boxes in my room and hiding behind them and sobbing. The few times my parents did check on me and asked why I was sad i’d just make an excuse or say I don’t know. That got annoying to them to the point they stopped asking. That summer my mom made me go to a summer library program so I could socialize and it ended up with me just sitting away from the other kids, crying or reading. We got rewards based on books we read and depending on how well we did they’d hire people to come out and perform for us, just little clown duos or what not. I was real excited one evening because they said they’d have pizza there, I begged my parents to come with me but my mom was working and my dad would get home late. I asked my brother, he wouldn’t take me, I asked my sister, she wouldn’t take me, so a family friend took me instead. She sat in her car and I went in alone to watch the show. I sat at the back and recorded it on my lil broken phone so I could watch it with my mom when I got home. I left early because I couldn’t be around people for any longer, I missed the pizza. When I got home and went to show my mom the video I took she told me to go away and not bother her. Even if it was insignificant in the long run it really hurt me, that meant alot to me and I couldn’t even share it with her. I had already felt like nothing I did would make a difference and that just solidified it in my little mind. I had already dealt with bullying my whole life up to that point but feeling helpless around my own family just made it worse ig. It took until I was 17 and trying to kill myself before my parents took it seriously. I dropped out of school and went to a doctor, got diagnosed with 2 different types of depression and an anxiety disorder, got medicated, and now i’m going back to finish school. So much has happened

[blitz0hno]

posting for attention

i wrote down some stream of consciousness stuff. Maybe someone will relate. Please don't worry, they are only thoughts and feelings we are coping with.

TW// suicdal ideation, awful grammar, prayer (for my religious trauma girlies)

enjoy my suffering /gen

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH WHAT CAN I DO RN 

I CAN”T CALM TF DONW 

I CAN’T CAN’T I CAN’T 

I FEEL SO FAKE AND SO VIOLENT 

AND FUCKING INSANE 

AND LIKE MY LIFE IS FALLING TO PIECES 

NO MATTER WHAT I DO 

BECAUSE I CAN’T SEEM 

TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING 

OR DO ANYTHING OR ACT ON ANYTHING 

WE WANNA DO BC WE R SO SCARED 

OF POURING OUR HEART INTO SOMETHING 

AND BEING REJECTED

 F U C K IT HURTS IT HURTS THIS HELPED IG

IDK EVERYTHING HURTS

NOT EVERYTHING

UH I AM ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY GOOD

BUT THE FLASGBACKS NEED TO STOP 

THEY NEED TO STOP.

GOD HELP ME WHY AM I SO FUCKED UP 

I WANT TO FUCK UP ANYONE 

WHO WOULD DO THAT SHIT TO A KID 

WHY IS THIS EVER ALLOWED TO HAPPEN 

EVER WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE 

SO FUCKING TWISTED 

I JUST WANT IT TO STOP 

I WANT PEOPLE TO STOP 

HURTING EACH OTHER 

I WANT PEOPLE TO STOP

HURTING ME 

NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY TO AVOID IT. 

I AM NOT HERE RN 

I AM DISSOCIATING 

LIFE A MOTHERFUCKER

 AND I CANNOT DO THIS SHIT

 I NEED IT TO STOPPPPP

I WANNA FEEL BETTER

 I DON’T KNOW WHY I HAVE TO CARRY AROUND 

ALL THIS BULLSHIT

PEOPLE WHO HURT PEOPLE 

WILL GET WHAT’S COMING TO THEM 

BUT WHEN, WHEN????? 

I cannot rn, 

how are we gonna get our shit together 

when we’re burning the FUCK out? 

Ugh. 

deep breath, deep breath. 

There’s a hole of grief on my chest. 

My socks are wet. 

I wanna cry in the fuckin library, 

It’s too cold. 

I am scared.

my head hurts. 

I need to complain ig. 

Why do i do this? 

I have everything I could need 

but no matter how grateful 

i try to be, 

instead of getting a break 

i just get more and more piled on 

how tf did this happen 

why did we lose our job 

to some douchebag family member 

of the shittiest manager around 

oh my fucking god the cowardice 

and entitlement 

of all the soft fuckin SHITHEADS i keep meetign 

like PICK A STRUGGLE. 

I keep zoning out dear god 

let me find something to do with this rage 

stop the rain for two minutes 

I don’t want to drive 

i don’t want to think

and the visibility outside is awful 

WHY IS FEBRURARY LONG 

it’s longer this year 

I want spring 

I want sun 

I am sad that it’s getting warmer out 

and weather is getting extreme so 

I wish it was at least weather I like. 

My routine is shot, 

I have none. My phone is dead, 

doordash is too much energy rn. 

I am. 

Killing myself. 

Not really but 

jfc I am so tired 

in a way that weighs on you. 

And I feel survivor’s guilt 

about the whole fucking world. 

Guilt guilt guilt 

that is ALL we ever feel 

everything is our fault somehow and 

we can’t fix anything with that attitude 

I am so upset. 

Fuckin hell. 

Make it stop make it stop 

but don’t let me die 

I’m not ready. 

And I feel guilty for that too, 

because who IS ready? 

It just happens. 

And instead of happening to rapists and serial killers 

it happens to sweet people 

who made the world better. 

Fuck this. 

Where’s the divine punishment 

for the WORLD LEADERS????? 

What’s with the collective 

capitalist punishment? 

I constantly feel like 

I’ve done something wrong or bad. 

Constant. 

Stupid fucking axel, 

screaming in our face and starting this whole mess. 

My life is great overall 

but my heart and mind are fucked up rn.

Are you there god? It’s me.

And me. And me.

Etc..

I don’t wanna kill myself it just sounds really easy (it’s not you will not go out without a fight so it’ll just be a llot of medical bullshit.)

[whinecrate]

20/1/23

My helix started acting up again idk if maybe it's that rose gold earring but I switched it for the plastic dots instead.

My leg is killing me some sort of muscle cramp ig but it's been there for days.

I kept putting off taking a bath and I felt so gross and I finally did. Although I didn't put oil and ended up skipping lunch cuz of it. Still. Small victories.

Food habits are getting worse ig.

And I'm sleeping wayyy tooo much. Since the second day at Bangalore ig. And since I came back I've been sleeping practical the whole time. If I'm not in class I'm asleep. I've been putting off my 2das for too long. They're due today. Idl this.

I drew something. It's small and tool way too long and it's not amazing but I did do something. I keep putting off drawing too.

And now I lost my ai notes. The whole book just gone. The last I remember is tearing the page I drew and giving it to mahek in vlsi. I wonder if I left it there accidentally. Atleast it was only ai and it's all directly from the slides.

On top of that turns out DSA sir doesn't upload all his ppts and I was really counting on that for some of the topics. It doesn't help that a question for the da is also from one o those topics.

Today seems to be going amazingly I half wanna cry. I kinda wanna do something to make myself happy but I have work.

[sliceocheese]

howdy everyone! i wanna begin with some good old reminiscing and story telling if ya dont mind

i joined tumblr in early 2023 and made my first ever post on this account on april the 20th (it was a wilbur soot post lmfaoooo)

some of my happiest 2023 memories happened because of this hellsite lol

so many fun things happened! i made friends, got adopted, cried because of roleplay, promised to draw things for people and never did, almost got burned alive because someone *coughcough* iceeericeee *cough* decided to blowtorch the cage i was locked in, cried some more because people accepted my for the ever changing person i was, got into new fandoms, got into new art forms, got out of an abusive relationship, got into therapy lmao, got a dog, confessed to a crush, god it was fun times

yall made me a better person.

this was me when i was 12:

yikes 😬 (GET HER SOME EYEBROWS)

i was 12, depressed, hated myself and everyone around me, in an abusive relationship which lead me to want to kill myself (FUCK YOU AIDEN 🖕), ya bitch legit couldnt smile. this was my best attempt ^^^ im pretty sure one time i didnt brush my teeth/hair or shower for like a month 💀💀💀

but then something amazing happened.

i joined the natm fandom (lord knows the gays have an effect on me TwT) and simultaneously joined tumblr cus oml i LOVED THE ART BY VINTAGEDUCKY AND I LOVED HISTORICALKITTENS NATM FICS AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CREATIVECHAOS

i was so happy with my little blorbos getting put in situations <3 and then one day i saw a reblog chain with a few people arguing about what a certain potatoey snack was called. and that was what started it all.

almost every night for the spring and summer on 2023 ya girl was eating upppppp moot fam roleplay. i would stay up pull alnighters staring at my 2014 ipad mini waiting for someone in my family to reblog my post, or hide in the bathroom at school staring at my apple watch waiting for angelo to start the post for our next little adventure.

yall are legit the reason i started loving life again 🥰

ok now fast forward to the start of my freshman year! look at this stunning mf

ya bitch was still struggling but i was doing so much better!!! i had cut off my abusive friend, had gotten a whole new friend group whom i adore, GOT A FUCKING BOYFRIEND??? (idk how i managed that one -u-‘) i was going out of my house like 500% more in a week than i had for the past 9 years TwT

so now time for the bad news ig…

i will be logging off tumblr.

ive been having some therapy worthy issues lately and think its best id i hop off for a while

not like an: IM LEAVING FOREVER AND I NEVER WANNA TALK TO YALL AGAIN BYE BYE BITCHES 👋 but more like im gonna delete the app and only log in every now and then to say hi to my friends

so im afraid im gonna have to scrap natm second chances and most of my rp 😔

i really hope to one day i can come back better than ever and be the mutual yall all deserve <3

and just in case i dont rejoin for a while i wanna share with yall some scheduled posts for my 18th birthday and how things ended up instead :)

god i wish i knew i was gonna be ok <3

aoughhhhh now time for the part thats probably gonna make me cry lmaoooooo

thank you sparrow and mottts for being amazing online parents

thank you rice and chaos and leon and pal and soda and fdrsducky for being an amazing family

thank you stickers for dealing with my constant face time calls and shenanigans <3

thank you magnificentobsession for being a second mom to me <3

thank you angelo for supporting my goofiness and being a combo best friend, dad, and brother

pukicho you’re probably never gonna see this but thank you for that one time you dm’d me to assure me you did not tell you followers to call me a faggot lmfaooo

thank you vintageducky, historicalkitten, and creativechaosapparently for making such wonderful natm content that i would scroll through on nights when i was sad

thank you thank you thank you.

whelp i guess this is the end

and loves, if i dont see ya tomorrow, good afternoon good evening and goodnight <3

over and out

i have no idea how to start this post ngl

[lipglosscherrybomb]

Late night confessions

I’m unbelievably bored so i decided to do this (i hate myself for even making this like I’m literally laughing rn this is so dumb and I’m embarrassed but if you wanna read i did try to take it seriously so go on ig)

*not proofread. Cause if i did I probably wouldn’t have posted it.*

Summary: You and Peter have been best friends for years, you’ve both been in love with each-other for the longest time but none of you have had the courage to confess your feelings. One night that was all about to change.

Warnings: mention of non-consensual touching, some angst.

~•~

There you were, hanging out in your room all by yourself. “Last kiss” by Taylor Swift plays on your laptop as you hugged the throw pillow in your bed as if you were 5 years old holding a teddy bear about to drift off and dream about chocolate rivers and cotton candy clouds. Instead you’re 17 and crying over another boy who didn’t actually like you but used you to get back at his ex-girlfriend.

You wanted to call Peter, let him comfort you, rant to you about how much of a jerk the guy was and how he never liked him then watch a movie with him until you felt better. But right now the last thing you wanted was another reminder of the fact that the guy you’re in love with isn’t in love with you and only thinks of you as his best friend.

Right then, just like clockwork, Your phone rings, Peter’s name flashing across the screen with a cute picture of him in his spider-suit and you next to him smiling as his head rests on your shoulder, you’d set it as his contact picture a few days ago. You smile at the memory and pick up the phone, pressing it to your ear.

“Hey” you try to sound as cheery as possible, trying to cover up the fact that you’ve been crying non-stop for hours.

“Hey…you okay? I heard you skipped last period and you never do that so I’m either starting to rub off on you or something really bad happened and you don’t wanna tell me” you knew he was making the joke to come off clueless, he knew something was wrong already.

“Nothing happened. Maybe I’m not just not as much of a rule-follower as you let yourself believe” you smile lightly.

“Okay rebel, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, seriously. You’re reaching.”

“Right, so if i came over right now that wouldn’t be a problem?”

“It would be, because I’m uh…doing homework” you cursed yourself silently in your head as you processed the half-assed excuse you knew he wouldn’t buy.

Right then you hear a tap on your window. Peter sits there on the fire escape for you to open up.

“Shit” you curse out openly in a whisper. Hanging up the phone and wiping your tears before heading towards the window. Your Spotify now playing “fake plastic trees” by Radiohead.

You sighed, opening the window and letting your friend in. You prayed to whatever celestial entity that was listening that he couldn’t tell your eyes were basically bloodshot.

“What did he do?” You could tell he was pissed off, ready to beat up anyone who’d hurt you.

“Chill out dude, seriously, it’s nothing. I’m fine” It wasn’t. But the last thing you want to do is cause a fight. You made your way to your bed and lied down.

“What happened?” He was now sat next to you. His voice softer. After all these years you still felt the same rush you did when he was close to you as the first time you realized you were in love with him. Your heart beat picked up. You hoped he couldn’t hear it even though you knew he could.

A certain feeling of insecurity made you sit up instead of lying down. You reached for your throw pillow to ease your nerves.

“It’s nothing okay?” You avoided eye contact now. “We were just hanging out, he wanted to do stuff, I didn’t want to, he got a little pushy so i left and he broke up with me later that day. End of story.”

“Did he touch you?” He sounded extremely pissed off now, you cringed.

“No, well- he tried but i pushed him off. It’s fine” It wasn’t, but you don’t want to cause problems.

“I’m gonna kill him, i swear” He got up abruptly, you grab his arm, your reflexes almost as quick as his but obviously not quite.

“You’ll do no such thing, Peter.” You pull him down and he lets you. Keeping eye-contact and looking at you as if you were the only person left in this world. That’s when you realized you were still holding his arm. In a self-conscious action, you blushed, intending to let go of the person who was making your head spin and your heart beat at an unnaturally fast pace.

As you were trying to pull away, he still hadn’t spoken, it felt like he froze in the moment how he looked at you so intensely. He wasn’t moving either, but as you tried to move your hand, he stopped you. You didn’t understand it, you guys touch all the time. Why was he so hung up on this moment. Why were you?

Your mind was going a million miles a minute. The familiar, stunningly-electric temporary rush was beginning to fade. You were used to it, it happened every time you touched him, and you always wondered if maybe he felt it too, this moment made you begin to think maybe he was just as in love with you as you were with him.

“I can’t stand the thought of anybody hurting you.” His voice was softer now, speaking in a volume that only you could hear, almost a whisper. He’s still keeping eye-contact. You shift on the spot directing your eyes to your computer instead where your spotify was open still. “Disintegration” by turnover was now playing.

I quickly learn that my efforts to avoid him were useless when you his hand on your cheek making you face him, though your gaze is fixated on the laptop. If you look at him now, you’ll kiss him. That might permanently dent your friendship with him. You can’t lose him. Not now, not ever.

“Y/n look at me” his voice is still soft, you can feel his eyes on the side of your face, his hand still on your cheek. “Please” he’s begging now. Hesitating, you finally face him.

“Why do you care so much?” Is all you managed to get out. You need answers. Even if he doesn’t care for you in that way you need to know.

“Because” he pauses for a moment. Suspicion is starting to hit you. “You’re my best-friend”

“No, Peter. This isn’t how you treat your ‘best-friend’, okay? This isn’t how you talk to your ‘best-friend’!” You step away now, confused and a little upset. You fold your arms over your chest as you move to the other side of the room, next to your desk.

He gets up as well and in a heartbeat he’s standing in front of you.

“Why are you so upset?” He tries to take your hand now. You won’t let him, not when he’s looking at you in that way that makes your heart melt.

“Because I don’t get you, Peter.” You’re frustrated, letting yourself lean against the wall.

“You don’t get me?! I don’t get you!” ‘Great, now we’ve both matched each-other’s frustration’ you think to yourself as you listen to him.

“I mean first you complain to me about all of the asshole guys you date, and i have to sit there and comfort you which I don’t mind doing at all because i love you, but then all i can think to myself is how much i like you and how i wish you were half as interested in me as you are in those other guys. Then i get home and i lay in bed and all i can think about is you, i mean, fuck, you’re all i ever think about. And the thing is that i love everything about you, i love everything you do. How perfectly your hair falls into place even when it’s messy, how beautiful you look when you’re when you’re doing something as simple as reading. How you put your hair behind your ears when you study. How good you always smell. How your smile lights up the entire room. How every time you touch me my heart beats so fast I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack. How badly i want to be with you…” You couldn’t take your eyes off him. You were entranced by his beauty, by his words. You were in shock.

“And how i really wish you’d say something right now” But you couldn’t.

“You love me?” Is all you could get out. And after everything you just heard you were really hoping he’d say yes.

“Of course i love you. I always have.” He’s getting closer and closer. Your breath hitches.

“Good.” You smile. “Because i love you too.”

In a second his lips are pressed against yours. His hands moving to your hips as you’re pressed up against the wall. You move your hands to his hair.

You couldn’t believe it, after all these years, he was in love with you. And now everything fell into place.