#kill me billy

[alaskan-wallflower]

just remembered a funny ass story that i’ll turn into a headcanon

kenny used to run around during middle school giving people ‘free piercings’ with a thumbtack

[ilaiyayaya]

I LOVE CONSUMING MEDIA!!!!

FNAF movie kinda mid tbh. I watched it last night on Halloween at midnight in a Discord call with 5 other people who all constantly talked over it to give lore explanations while also playing this video on loop at full volume for the entire movie:

I remember almost nothing about the movie itself but honestly I feel like it was probably a significantly more enjoyable experience than it would have been had I watched it normally. As soon as I saw in the opening credits that it was a Blumhouse film I became hyped as fuck and I immediately knew exactly what the rest of the movie was gonna be like and I could not have been more correct, it was the most generic, dumb as fuck, funny horror movie ever with a Freddy Fazbear coat of paint (that's a positive btw, I love dumb shit horror). The main plot zzzzz the side plot with the evil aunt zzzzz but the moment where they made a fort and Bonnie fell down like a rock and then gave a thumbs up was PEAK FICTION, made the entire movie worth it. I don't know anything about FNAF lore beyond the bite of 87 so like I can't judge whether the lore is accurate myself but my friend who's obsessed with it said it was alright and Matpat's name is Ness and that's all the lore accuracy I need. Why did they play the Jack Black Freddy Fazbear song at the end? There's 2 purple guys?? What the fuck is Remnant???? FNAF World?????? Please shut the fuck up.

Unfortunately learned that Scott Cawthon's maybe not a great guy spongebob womp womp moment, good thing I fully legally downloaded tje film and paid for it and would never pirate anything I mean what?

ngl morbius was kinda better i dont think i could watch fnaf on loop for an entire 3 days like i could that Masterpiece.

[shelf-of-knicknacks]

uhmm.. kick at ground .. if ur taking requests will u draw stu and billy kissing after they’ve killed someone.. 🔪🩸🩸

Yessir, heresir

[bunnyjesters]

my hand slipped

[poltoreveur]

I could fix him but I kinda like him a little murderous and psychotic tho

[thevoidstaredback]

It's always graveyards. Why is it always graveyards? They're creepy as hell and, well... that's it. On the bright side, the Protection Spirits watching the gates recognize him and realize the danger he's in. Well, maybe he wasn't in real danger because the Bats and Birds don't really do the whole purposefully harming civilians things, but they are scary as hell! Chasing him down like a bat straight outta hell- obviously he was gonna run! They cornered him! Maybe he'll invest in getting them lessons in how to interact with people in and out of costume?

Honestly, Nightwing, Danny expected better of you. At least Red Hood and Signal know how to treat innocents.

Here's the thing about Protection and Guardian Spirits, though. They don't like intruders. If you're running from something and you don't have time to ask permission to enter, you best say "thank you" and bring them shiny things on your next visit. If you do have time to ask permission, you ask permission. If they think you're a threat or rude, they won't let you enter whatever they're guarding.

"Thank you," Danny said as he slowed to a walk further into the graveyard, the sound of the gates slamming closed behind him confirmation that the Bat and his gaggle wouldn't be following him in.

Wasting no time, Danny pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. It was a handy little thing he'd picked up during his stay in the House of Mysteries. Draw and door, tell it where you wanna go, open it, and go through! Beetlejuice style. Though, unlike what the Handbook for the Recently Deceased says, these doors won't actually open a door to the afterlife. He fixed that tiny glitch a while ago.

Anyway, a quick few chalk lines on the side of a mausoleum later, and Danny was opening a door to Fawcett, Philadelphia. Probably not the best choice, considering that he was trying to stay away from the Justice League, but it's better than Metropolis.

"Whoa." Damn it! He should've stayed home. "What was that, mister?"

Danny made sure the door closed behind him, praying for strength. Why did he feel like several deities were laughing at him? "Hey, kid. Can you, um, maybe not say anything about that?"

The kid, short brown hair and a red jacket stood out the most to Danny for some reason, seemed very amused. "You're gonna have to buy my silence."

Again, Danny let out a quiet, long suffering sigh. "Coffee is so not worth it." Looking at the kid, he said, "Alright, fine. I was getting coffee anyway, I'll buy ya lunch. Know any good places?"

Grinning, the kid cheered, "Hell yeah! Follow me!"

Resigned, Danny followed after the kid, easily keeping pace. About a block later, he figured he should probably get the kid's name. "I'm Danny."

"Billy."

"No last name?"

"Fae rules, dude. What's your excuse?"

He had to give it to him. "Touché."

Another three blocks of walking, Billy finally stopped at a cafe. It was a quaint place with stained white brick and a dark grey roof. There were metal chairs and tables outside the building surrounded by a wrought iron fence. The table umbrellas and the awning over the black door were light blue, matching the curtains in the inside.

The inside walls were painted baby blue with a white ceiling and a pinewood floor. The tables and chairs were all stained black with light pink cushions and table cloths. The curtains, as observed before, were all baby blue, tied back with baby pink ribbons. The lights were barely yellow, giving the room a warm feel. The counters were white with black paneling on the outside and white granite as the tops.

"Welcome in," the young man at the register greeted with a smile, "What can I get you two started with today?"

Danny envied the man. He'd obviously not been doing this long enough to gain the veteran's shine to his eye. He turned to look at the menu after telling Billy to get whatever he wanted. A mistake he'll probably pay for. "I'd like a large Red Eye, equal parts coffee and espresso, with cinnamon, honey, chocolate syrup, mint, and vodka, please."

The 'newbie' light in the man's eyes dimmed a little bit. "Um, we don't carry vodka." Glad that's the only thing he's worried about. Priorities.

Danny clicked his tongue. "Oh, well, it was worth a shot. I'd like everything else, though, please. Mix it at your own discretion."

"Alright," he was very valiant to go back to grinning, "Anything else?"

Danny motioned for Billy and the kid stepped up. "Can I get a large mocha, three chocolate chip cookies, and two sandwiches?"

The blond entered the order. "Of course! That'll be $25.37." A quick card swipe from Danny. "Thank you very much, we'll have your order out to you soon!"

The two didn't say a word as they chose a table in the corner. Danny let Billy take the seat that was open to the rest of the cafe so he wouldn't feel cornered. He had a good view of the door, though, so he wasn't complaining.

"So, how'd you do that?" Billy asked after they'd gotten their orders.

"How'd I do what?" Danny sipped his drink.

"How'd you walk outta that wall? It's solid!"

"Magic."

"I guessed that much."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Will you teach me?"

"No."

"You didn't even think about it!"

"Okay," He paused. "No."

"Not fair." he pouted.

Putting his drink on the table, Danny summed as much fake-it-till-you-make-it energy as he could. "Magic isn't a toy and takes years of practice to get a handle on, not to mention you have to actually have an aptitude for it before you can even try. Besides, I don't know you nearly well enough to trust you with anything else."

Billy finished the cookie he was eating. "I can do it! You just gotta teach me!"

Another sigh that Danny had stopped counting. "Look, you seem like a good kid, but I'm not gonna teach you magic."

"Why not!"

"However," he continued, ignoring the demand, "I'm not gonna leave ya fully defenselessness."

"What do you mean?" Billy backed away slightly, his eyes narrowing as he moved to be able to run quickly.

Another sip. "Based off of the dirt you're covered in, the grease in your hair, and the overall poor condition of your clothes, I'm gonna bet that you're a street kid. So," he pulled a small card from his pocket, very aware that Billy was watching his hand aptly, "I'm going to leave you with this."

Slowly, the brunet took it and turned it over. "What it is?"

The white card had the initials DP in the middle, circled by an Ouroboros. The initials were completely solid, but the snake of the Ouroboros was made up of tiny runes of protection and health and healing and good fortune.

"My calling card. If you're ever in danger, hold that to your chest and ask for help. I'll be there."

Still obviously suspicious, Billy took a moment to scrutinize the card. It was cute to watch the kid act like he knew what he was looking at or for. When he seemed satisfied, he shoved the card into the inner pocket sewn into his jacket. "Thanks."

"No problem, kid," Pulling out his phone, Danny saw the time and stood, "I've gotta go now. I assume I've sufficiently bought your silence on the whole magic thing?"

Billy grinned, "I guess, but you gotta come visit me, okay?"

He chuckled, "Sure thing. See ya."

Part 2 Part 4

(I don't drink coffee, so Idk how that shit works)

Tag list: @zaiothe4th

[avocadoraisin]

fuck it. Saw Bugsnax grumpus AU

Bonus Billy Bunger....

(blame @kittycatcorner for infecting me w this idea)

[golyadkin]

you can trust them, they're super scientists

[sharpth1ng]

Boyfriends when its time to take the strap off and switch

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

Lilia reading freshly thirteen year old, completely innocent and oblivious William Kaplan’s future and being like:

Okayyyyy lemme just un-know that real quick so it doesn’t haunt me forever🥲

I can’t properly express how much I love her

[zxmbigirlfriend]

stuilly week day 1- au

i will take literally any excuse to draw gross evil lesbians. if only i could draw them the whole week💔💔

[radarchives]

[safety-pin-punk]

[alissssssaka]

[zombie-hickey]

He'd take one look at me and wouldn't be able to kill me. I'm just too fuckable and adorable. One look at me and he'd be in love. He'd love me. You just don't get it. I'm the exception to his wraith. You don't understand. I'm definitely his type.

[k-wame]

The Kissing Booth Press