#kept piggy

[zewik7]

Can’t physically move tonight after my wife was done with me… 🥵🐷♥️

[justarandombrit]

If the original novel is Jalph coded, the graphic novel is definitely catered to Raliggy fans cause look at this shit

[sunrotdropbrain]

Depression vs autism let's goooooo

[pharawee]

But if this is the end that's leading to a new beginning, then I pray for my afterlife, to be a journey towards something better than before.

—I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR 💮 18 AUGUST

[thatswhatsushesaid]

In a Muppets version of The Untamed (in the style of Muppet Treasure Island or Muppet Christmas Carol), who would be the one human actor of the cast?

Related, which iconic Muppet is which character? 🐸

inspired by that one piece of iconic muppets mdzs fanart of the wangxian confession scene, i am forced to concede that jgy is the most likely candidate to remain human amongst all the rest. i just went hunting for the fanart and could not find it, maybe one of my followers can do us a solid and find it for us.

as for which character is which muppet, god, i can't even begin to decide. this feels like another poll tournament in the making tho, ngl.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

.

[a9saga]

Matt really took the Josh Duhamel punishment well.

[zewik7]

Could you record everything you eat In a day

I swear that seems like such a good idea in theory but it would be a NIGHTMARE to actually do 😩

(i have 0 experience, formation or education on how to do such a thing and my wife won’t help because i’m “the techy one” 😭)

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

my college has a zipline and I remember thinking the first year I was here "I don't have to be brave enough to approach the people and ask if I can use it yet, I've got 3 more years here, I don't have to rush things". The biggest thing that destroys me about being disabled is that I had no way of knowing it was going to happen.

[hierneneuro]

i keep having dreams where i'm running a guinea pig sanctuary from my bedroom

[alanaisalive]

Miss Piggy herself is a drag act. She is voiced by a man and the majority of her lines have been written by men. She is a character of a woman performed by a man. That's drag.

This is not meant as an insult or criticism of Miss Piggy in any way. It's just an observation.

I cannot emphasize strongly enough how little time elapsed between message sent and reply received.

[fumiliar]

self-restraint is one thing kento prides on. he is a good man, or at least he tries to be. his eyes landed on your flailing figure, pinching his nose bridge to prepare himself. you, gojo, kento and shoko went out for drinks to celebrate the fact you 4 were still alive.

your mind was blank, you had no self-control, it was like the shame centre in your brain got turned off.

"oh my god!" you squealed in excitement. "my favourite song!" you stumbled off your bar stool, going to stand up on the table, gojo supporting your brave act.

kento acted quick. right when your foot landed on the table, you were pulled back by an immeasurable amount of strength, your back landing on someone's muscular chest.

"how drunk are you?" a gruff voice spoke right beside your ear, sending shivers through your whole body. your senses were already heightened, but at this moment, you could feel everything. you could hear the fastening rhythm of your heart, along with the steady rhythm of another's.

"earth to y/n~," satoru's singsong voice echoed through your empty head.

"yea, sorry," you shook your head, turning around to see kento's disapproving look. his hand keeping a deathly grip on your wrist, ensuring you were always close to him, in case you'd do something embarrassing, or at least that's what he tells himself.

"y/n, i'll bring you ho-"

"don'tt, you're such a party pooper nanamin! we were just getting started," the blue eyed man whined, he looked like he was about to start a tantrum.

"yeah, let's just wrap it up, i wanna go home," shoko agreed with kento, getting ready to leave. "i'll leave y/n to you, gojo, come." satoru following shoko like a sad puppy.

"let's go home," kento used his free hand to pack up your stuff, double checking if you took anything out of your purse.

"you're so hot when you take care of me," you freely complimented kento, his ears slowly turning beet red.

"i like you kento, you know that right?" you kept talking, kento's face slowly turning a darker shade of red. "why are you so red? are you having a fever?" you used your free hand to feel his forehead, even in your drunken state, you still worried about his health.

"no...y/n. i'm fine," he put your bag on your shoulder as he led you out of the establishment.

"ow....my feet hurt ken," you pouted looking down at your heels.

restrain yourself kento. restrain. was the only thing he could think off as he looked back at you. he didn't want to take advantage of your drunken self. he knelt down as he took of your heels, you bracing yourself on his back. he slowly took your hand of his back, putting down your heels on the ground to take off his blazer.

"up," his back facing you as he knelt down. you weren't going to waste a chance getting piggy backed. instantly, your arms slid around his neck as your legs trapped his torso. kento stood up, picking up your heels and adjusting his hold on you.

"comfy?" you nodded against his neck. "take this, and wrap it around your waist," he handed you his blazer. you instantly listened, wrapping the blazer around your waist, making sure you don't flash anyone along your way home.

"ken, you're so good to me," you mumbled, nibbling on his neck, eliciting a groan out of the man.

"you're such a tease," kento chuckled, smiling to himself at his current predicament.

"we're not even dating....hft," you sighed. kento let out a hearty laugh at your dissatisfaction.

"why do you want us to date?" kento asked making you even more disappointed.

"what woman doesn't want stability!" this time you were annoyed. you straightening your back, not leaning on kento's anymore. kento was still joyful, instead of responding to your annoyance, he loosened his grip on your legs, your instincts kicked in, quickly wrapping your hands around his neck once more to ensure your safety.

"were you about to drop me??" panic was evident in your tone, but kento was still amused. "answer me!" your hand hitting on his chest.

"y/n," kento sternly called out your name, abruptly stopping your abuse on his chest. "we're married love, isn't that the epitome of stability? why would i regress our relationship to just boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"huh?..." you were confused for a second, quickly looking at your hand. and there it was, glistening in the moonlight, your wedding ring. "oh.."

kento couldn't help but tease your drunken self, his self-restraint always wavering when it came to you. the prim and proper man turning playful in your presence, he just couldn't help it. he continued his walk home, occasionally giggling at your forgetful nature.

"i hope you don't forget this moment," kento muttered under his breath, knowing full well you would have no memory of this event, only a pounding headache to remind you of yesterday's events.

[yomgert]

guys if a girl says that we should hang out sometime if you know what I mean does that mean she likes you

[bitevibe]

Had a weird but sort of cute dream today. Now i'll be thinking about it for eternity (Talking about it in the tags for talks of animal death and religion)

[violetfaust]

I had forgotten about this case, which could add $100 million more to the grifter-in-chief’s more than half a BILLION $$$$$ in judgments and penalties.

Wonder how he’ll pay for that if he wins…?

That's exactly what we want.

[strangersatellites]

eddie who tells bad jokes and steve who makes it his life’s mission to Not Laugh lest eddie Gets Started.

he’s sat through the skeleton that couldn’t fight because he didn’t have the guts.

he’s blown air out of his nose and kept his composure at melons getting jealous at weddings because they can’t elope.

and he’s put his head in his hands at enough knock knock jokes to last a lifetime.

the one that gets him comes on a friday night.

it’s been a long week and steve is within minutes of a deep sleep with the promise of a day off work ahead of him. what could be better than this?

he hears eddie shuffle behind him and his arm tightens where its slung over steve’s waist.

“baby? you still awake?”

steve stretches and hums a noncommittal sound. hasn’t decided yet if he’s asleep or not. if he’s not he’s veeeeeery close.

“if james hetfield got legally ordained-“

steve groans, “ugh, eddie-“

his palm flattens over steve’s stomach and the rubbing of his thumb soothes steve’s irritation at whatever shit he’s about to spout at god knows what time of night.

“wait hear me out!” it’s only because steve likes his sleepy voice so much that he entertains this. “if hetfield got legally ordained and then married kermit and miss piggy, he’d be the pastor of muppets.”

it’s quiet for a split second before steve breaks.

he laughs so hard he can’t breathe and very regretfully tells eddie that he thinks all his jokes are funny.

he doesn’t top that joke for a while.