#keep your pants on

[jupiterjelliez]

do yall fw pressure

[servicedaddy]

I want to kiss a butch's neck, torso, tits, stomach, lower and lower.... Make her sigh, moan, and fall apart.

A beautiful, trembling mess.

[frank-o-meter]

Irish rugby player Mack Hansen has been asked to keep his pants on this week… I can see why…

[emmcfrxst]

jason todd swears like a sailor whenever you ride him. the visual of your body on top of his, the feeling of your hands on his chest and your cunt fluttering around him, the sweet sounds of your moans and mewls— everything about getting ridden makes jason’s dick hard and turns his brain to mush

[vroom-vrooms]

Honestly it’s so funny that the most insane thing happening right now is Nico Rosberg’s inability to shut the fuck up about Lewis

[burnttcoffeee]

sometimes family is a controlling manipulative goddess, her husband who is also her, a buff guy with a lion on his back, a single mother obsessed with an egg, a war criminal mama’s boy, a witch that slayed her mortal body, the golden boy she also killed, a himbo who fought the sky, the femboy who seduced him, his sleepy trans girl alter ego, the hemophiliac he also seduced, an amputee cursed with rot, a sad old man with a ton of horns, and a guy with an inferiority complex and a penchant for limbs, and i think that’s beautiful

[ladyamortencia]

SIR YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!

This author is convinced that Mr. Bridgerton would have gotten her off right there if not for the well-timed horse.

Completely unrelated... I would pay to be that door...

[bogleech]

Alien guy who's always on about his wife being an emotionless life sucking parasite and like "you know how it is with the females" so you think he's just an asshole until you find out more about his species and he meant it as affectionately as he did literally

[hjemne]

Vash: strips and barks like a dog

Wolfwood:

[daftmooncretin]

spock will literally say something incredibly dull about fractions or some shit and jim will be on the floor laughing, choking, hyperventilating before he’s even got the sentence like “oh mr spock your so funny….” “oh spock you make me believe in miracles….” like jesus christ jim you slut can you chill tf out the vulcan isnt even trying to be funny right now he’s just doing his science job. i hope the dick is good because the jokes certainly arent.

[sirazaroff]

is baby

[domifucker]

get someone who looks at you the way kniesy looks at bobby

[vroom-vrooms]

Formula one drivers have no shame because literally can you calm the FUCK down and try not to declare your undying love or your unmatched desire for your fellow driver every time you two are relatively near each other??

[emptyjunior]

Christian Bale's Howl going "there you are sweetheart" is actually over and done, Christian Bale as literal weapons dealer, gold digger, PTA dad going 'my son turned into a parakeet' 'mahito turned into a little budgy' is All Time for me, it's what In, it's what's Now, that was acting, that was line delivery

[lady-stardust-incarnate]

A brief summary of how each character is doing at the end of the trojan war

Menelaus - alive!!! (somehow)

Helen - alive! was gonna get killed but she's too hot for that

Achilles - dead

Patroclus - dead

Paris - dead, shot in the dick (ha)

Hector - dead, body absolutely massacred (you were a dick for that Achilles)

Agamemnon - alive then dead (you were a queen for that Clytemnestra)

Odysseus - blublublublub (jk he gets Penelope and Telemachus back but not before slaughtering most of the nobles of Ithica, there's kind of a whole book on it)

Ajax - dead

Diomedes - cucked (aphrodite's punishment for fucking up her wrist)

Aeneas - bringing the squad to Italy (there's kind of a whole book on it)

[fox-guardian]

I also I think it's a little funny that some people took Celia's sudden subject change back to the magnus institute during her and Sam's conversation in this episode as a Weird Thing to take note of. like it's her manipulating him because she wants to research the institute so badly.

meanwhile I was like "okay general discussion of sex occurring and a lil 'what are we' chat is fine at work, they're all adults that makes sense, she's cool with this. Detailed Reminiscing Of Specific Acts Is Less Appropriate And Must Be Stopped At Once, Understandable."