#keep it light.
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Alright.
I have a list.
Therapy.
Doctor.
Job.
Move to a bigger apartment in 1 year because I really just feel suffocated, I really just need space.
Try to keep it light and relax and remember to stay grounded, feet on the ground. On earth.
Remember to just breathe. Nothing is that serious. Try not to creep people out by just being angry and misguided in some ways when you’re like this. You know what you mean but you have to be so careful how you say things because this isn’t a movie. This is real life, it’s fine to romanticize things you might feel the need to but you have to remember just the reality of life that you usually do.
Probably meds of some sort. I think it’s time to try again.
Get close to family.
Distance from anything too heavy rn. Don’t play around with such serious stuff, you know you don’t mean it but no one else does. You don’t have a great track record with being stable. Sometimes people just like fucking with you because they know they can in the moment. You know you’re intentions, find a way to get you’re points across and you’re desires for your future clear and maybe stay away from anything that might make things worse. It’s gonna get better, remember when you’re normal you’re fine. You just have to be a little more careful than others to remember to stay grounded and articulate. No more saying things you know you don’t mean just to feel something. Numb and sad and frustrated is fine. But scary however is a lot less savory and a lot less easy for people to back up. If you want help and real true help that your logical mind knows you need, you need to separate yourself from some art and music at this point and time. You may like aesthetics for fun but the world is serious. Bad things happen to people and it’s not fair. Nothing is fair. You really need to not joke about things you will regret later. In your logical mind, when you’re not ultra depressed and lonely, you know what you’re joking about is wrong. You hate it when you say stuff like that, something infiltrated your mind and doesn’t belong there. You’re not really reaching out for real help, so you’re really only gonna find things you don’t need or want. Just breathe. It’s okay. Breeeeattheeee
There will be a time where I look back on feeling this low and feeling like “you said what?” “You didn’t actually say that did you?” “You know better.” “You know you’re a good person in your heart and you don’t want to hurt anyone or yourself, you’re just tired of being hurt.” And don’t share anything you KNOW you don’t mean.
I find myself spiraling sometimes and once I follow a rabbit hole I get deeper and more brainwashed and it takes longer to be like Jesus Christ dude stop.
I’ll probably delete this. But I really don’t wanna make the same mistakes as last time. Just keep your head on straight and try to just focus on healing and getting better and in a better situation.
And please for anyone actually reading this, don’t take me literally. I don’t mean half the shit I say right now. I’m just frustrated with my life. That doesn’t mean the world is ending. lol it’s not. The world is just fine. I’ll just focus on fixing MY problems, that’s the only way to actually accomplish anything real for yourself.
Also there are people wiling to help and be your genuine friend. Stop pushing them away. You’re not scary. lol which is why you’re doing what you’re doing. You’re afraid you’re gonna get hurt and someone will break your heart when it’s already broken. The people who know you know what’s wrong and know what you mean. Stay off the fucking internet and try not to spiral deep into the abyss.
I saw some good advice that stuck earlier about saying hyperboles more often when you want to say something maybe a bit edgy or a bit concerning lol I needed to hear that, thank you.
There’s just like wayyyy too many possibilities and toxic shit online and irl that pull people who are lost into a place they can’t come back from. Those aren’t your thoughts and you know it. Don’t let anyone pray on you to go to an extreme place. You don’t need to be extreme. You’re perfectly fine being your chill and level headed sweet self. Let people see that. That’s better than some edgy bullshit that causes real people to hurt deeply. Be genuine, not scared. You’re okay. No one is going to hurt you. Just get in a better position to where you can protect yourself against the shit you put yourself through. Choose more wisely.
I don’t like who I’ve become tonight. I’m gonna need help not to do it again. It’s not okay. And I’m sorry.
#and also#you DONT need people to “understand#especially until YOU fully do#I don’t know how I feel but I know I’m scaring myself#and probably my loved ones as well#don’t to that to them again#it’s not fair#not after everything everyone’s been through#if I left this world like this it would only hurt the people I love the most and they don’t deserve that.#they don’t deserve any more heart ache#you’ve been through some tough shit but so have they#keep it light.#say only what you mean from here on out#I’m sorry.
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Imagine if you locked Light and Patrick Bateman in a room together. They would be having the most generic conversation but you wouldn’t be able to hear it over the sound of their overlapping internal monologues. There would be a few seconds where their monologues both play in sync to say something misogynistic.
#death note#light yagami#american psycho#patrick bateman#you could put patrick bateman in deathnote and he wouldn’t even seem particularly out of place tbh#i don’t actually like american psycho that much i just keep getting funny#patrick bateman posts on my pinterest feed#original post
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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I'm a sucker for neons! This is my painting "Capybaras and Northern Lights."
#capybaras#capybara#capybaby#northern lights#aurora#aurora borealis#cute animals#my art#artists on tumblr#artwork#original art#digital art#cute art#digital painting#painting#procreate#digital artist#cute#peaceful#zen art#neon aesthetic#joyousjoyfuljoyness#daily calm#keep calm#naturecore#nature aesthetic#nature art#nature#glow art#tranquility
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oversaturate
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers#and i LOVE how it looks but god it takes so long painting like this#i had a ref style i was going for that was a lot more washed out and watercoloury#and to be fair my take on it did start out looking more adjacent to that#u can still kinda see remnants of the initial watercolour washes in the collar of yuuji's jacket in th bottom one#but it Did Not Last fhdjfjjg what can i say im a gouache/oils gal#i can't use soft greys and watery inks i need stark blacks i need the reddest red the colour wheel will provide#one thing i did keep from the refs were the sharp prickly fine lines i think those look real cool against textured colour blocks#anyway ive also been having a lot of fun playing with rly rly harsh lighting on the hair#and even thinner linework put down after the colour as opposed to before#probably one of the reasons why it takes a lot longer but also it mimics traditional art a lot more#ill probably continue playing around with this sort of render ! or at least keep elements of it
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it's always a good day to wake up and choose violence
More Rise silliness [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ]
#the only thing wrong with Rise was that they couldn't cuss. I think they should have at least gotten one swear each. you know. as a treat.#do you truly love your siblings if you don't routinely and mercilessly bully them???#a little light ribbing between friends#keep em humble#i am unreasonably proud of myself for that 'leonardo' edit. it looks pretty seamless if I do say so myself#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rottmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise leo#rise donnie#rise raph#rise april#rise mikey#disaster twins#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt memes#shitpost#miss misnomer
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Isn’t that worth holding on?
#bakudeku#mha#bnha#that love is like a star#its gone we just see it shining#it’s travelled very far#I’ll keep a leftover light burning so you can keep looking up#ISNT THAT WORTH HOLDING ON?#STAR BY MITSKI#bkdk#my hero academia#bnha fanart#mha fanart#izuku midoriya#katsuki bakugo#kacchan#midoriya izuku#deku#bakugo katsuki#my art#thank you my hero academia
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Egg day with the egg man :3
Happy Easter everybody!!!!
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#deltarune if it slayed#“you keep controling kris” where my inviting gaster to the light world option then#Deltarune#deltarune fanart#deltarune kris#deltarune gaster#deltarune susie#easter#easter 2024#gaster#w.d. gaster
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~What i couldve been~
I was just gonna do the adult timeline zelda but im so enchanted by the idea of these two versions of the same character. People always talk about how link would be changed but never zelda.
#tloz#princess zelda#sheik#majoras mask#ocarina of time#loz redesigns round 2#art#my art#redesigns#they had Entirely different teen years#a zelda who had to deal with the deaths of those close to her and having to be in hiding#meanwhile training up to hopefully take care of it on her own#only to seemingly doom her kingdom in the future to save another timeline from the same grief#creating this zelda who seemingly at most has one bad vision which is immedietly#confirmed by random fairy boy in the woods#and seemingly lives happily ever after?#i wish we knew more from the new timeline other than boring implications from tw-light pr-ncess#but yes i split different design element over both of them#oot zelda having shorter hair like her sheik form#while mm zelda keeps the long#also using some elements from the kid design like mm still kinda having that headband alongside the crown#the l-nks will be another post since i only have ideas for one right now
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*percy seen from a far, wearing a suit*
piper: do my eyes deceive me or is percy jackson wearing formal clothes? since when does he have the ability to look like a domesticated human being?
frank: how come HE, percy of all people, king of untidiness, can wear a cream linen suit and look like a celebrity, but when i tried one on i looked like a man-child going to a high school dance?
hazel: sweetie it’s just because it’s such a casual suit, and you’re much more elegant than percy is!
annabeth, turning to them: um okay, hi percy’s best friends? can you guys compliment him without insulting him?
leo: his ass looks incredible.
grover: has he been working out?
annabeth, side eyeing them:
annabeth: okay, you have all now either insulted him or hit on him. how about from now on, you do neither?
rachel: how about we do both? because i’ve actually just perfected doing them at the same time
#for the record i don’t think his friends disrespect him#i just needed to write something about annabeth defending him (which almost feels ooc after wrath 🙄#while also trying to keep it light#he’s the king of *casual*#and he pulls it off#i love the thought of his friends all giving him a hard time and annabeth being like PLEASE DON’T DISCOURAGE HIM FROM DRESSING NICE#because that girl loves to see her man in a suit#which is canon#by the way#anyone remember paris?#anyway#also i think leo always makes things weird#in the best way possible#percy jackson#annabeth chase#leo valdez#piper mclean#frank zhang#grover underwood#hazel levesque#rachel dare#percabeth#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#incorrect quotes#pjo incorrect quotes#rick riordan#riordanverse
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This is very unfinished but I needed everyone to see the vision I had
#I’m going on hiatus because I need to focus if imma keep my job#so no. ore drawing traumatized gay boys for a while#I have no idea what direction I want to take this in and I really need to learn lighting and shading#but I needed everyone to see my vision before I disappear#all for the game#jean moreau#aftg#the sunshine court#the foxhole court#fanart#my art#also I’m totally gonna make a Kevin one#wip
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The most boy in the band
#shibi art#trolls branch#trolls band together#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls poppy#trolls broppy#branch#poppy#Broppy#they’re just so cute#I wanna keep doodling them singing and dancing#branch deserves the spot light
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Logan and Wade almost always do the nasty with the lights out and Wade is a little disappointed but he gets it and he resigned himself to a lifetime of dark sex long before Logan came along, sucks to know that your partner doesn’t want to look at you while getting down to business but its something Wade can live with.
Meanwhile, after a long day of stupid big bright lights Logan loves to have the lights out when making love with Wade because there isn’t any extra light bugging him and his natural night vision means he can see Wade perfectly, just the way he likes it
#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadclaws#Logan forgets that Wade can’t see in the dark#wolverines are actually nocturnal#so yeah I fully believe bright light bothers Logan#and he obvi canonically has night vision#a lot of people don’t like the misunderstanding or miscommunication tropes#I think they can be great#Logan thinks Wade knows that he stares at him while they smash#logan thinks Wade is so unbelievably handsome#he grew to not only accept not only love but actually be a little obsessed with how Wade looks#doing my part in keeping our boys trending#Logan spends so much time staring at Wade#and Wade still thinks logan doesn’t like the way he looks#smut#smut mention
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see ya later alligator
#They don’t like each other. I will keep this hc To my grave AoekfkRJFKE#ATLEAst in my au they don’t#Monty’s really gonna hate moon later when he gets his own body cause he’s gonna be glam rock sized :)#This does not mean Sun relies on moon to kick people. He would have gladly done it if the lights didn’t go down but moon was itching#”LEMME AT HIM LEMME-“#PFNGN#art#my art#fnaf art#fnaf security breach#fnaf monty#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf daycare attendant#fanart#fnaf au#fnaf override#Don’t tag as ship! I don’t ship Monty and DCA pls ^^;#Fnaf
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GOOD OMENS — Chapter 5: The Ball.
#Good Omens#goodomensedit#David Tennant#dtedit#Anthony J. Crowley#usertom#usergiu#userrlaura#dailyflicks#userbbelcher#chewieblog#so far giffing GO's been a game of 'can i color correct this without turning the quality into complete sh*t?'#and i think that the answer is obvious (no)#but i will keep trying#this is a 2160p release btw. yeah i know#i did spend a ridiculous amount of time in these two gifs so they are seeing the light of day#also because i love this little nerd#my stuff#mine: i don't remember my go tag#good omens spoilers
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dramatic eyes. dramatic lips. drama on the cheeks.
sketch
#the fuck's a look??#this show keeps making me cry happy tears#this show made me cry last season when ed and stede kissed. Now I'm crying because LOOK AT IZZY! LOOK AT WEE JOHN!!!#please for the love of god only look at this with the night light filter on. forgot my screen was tinted yellow and the colors are FUCKEDDD#ya ya It’s la vie en rose I didn’t check my references my b my b je regrette ok#our flag means death#ofmd#our flag means death spoilers#ofmd season 2#izzy hands#wee john feeney#ofmd s2e6#this show brings me so much joy especially now when everything is so hard in real life.#they just get to be queer with their pirate friends#skdfjhskhgjfnlisadfhlksjdfh;sk#art#fan art#the first time in a while I've been inspired to make art :_) I love
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