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manicmanuscription · 6 days ago

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Unapologetically Selfish

Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Illusions to smut, fluff, gaslighting(?) not proofread bc author is lazy

Word Count: 2334

Summary: When both of your jobs have your time with each other limited, Azriel makes the decision to keep you all to himself. Content to let his family think he'd finally lost his mind but an accidental meeting has the IC realizing Azriel truly does have a secret mate.

─── ♡ ───

Cassian was…concerned, to say the least.

He fully believed Azriel was loosing his god damned mind and with each passing day this assumption only worsened.

It all started three years ago, Azriel becoming almost scarce from time to time. With no explanation other than vague answers. It didn’t happen a lot and Cassian respected his brother needed his space some time, it wasn’t unusual for the Spymaster to slink off in the shadows. But then after a year his disappearance’s become nearly constant.

Cassian and Rhysand finally cornered their brother after they demanded he show up for a monthly family dinner, the whole inner circle was getting concerned and decided that the two Illyrians were the best equipped to deal with this.

Azriel had blankly looked at his brothers a small furrow in his brow as he sat through their interrogation. He hadn’t even realized he had been gone that much to be frank. Just… after meeting you? He wanted to spend every second of the day by your side, the mating bond simply not enough for how deeply he felt for you.

After realizing the worry he was causing his family he pursed his lips and quite reluctantly told his brothers that he had found his mate.

The look on the High Lord and General of the Night Court was absolutely priceless, their mouths hanging open as a stunned expression took over their usually stoic faces.

Not even five minutes later the whole family knew, everyone pestering him for information like when they would get to meet you, what your name was, what did you do, how did you meet, where have you been this entire time.

“Wait!” Feyre said as Mor had opened another bottle of wine and started excitedly pouring everyone a glass. “Is that why you asked Rhysand for a few months off?”

The whole Inner Circle froze at Azriel’s simple nod. They all knew the implications of what that meant and Cassian was the first to speak. “You had a mating ceremony and none of us knew?” His voice thick with emotion.

Azriel struggled with his next words. His heart a lump in his throat. He was never a talkative male, especially not about his feelings.

“I-“

The truth was he was an incredibly selfish bastard. Of course he wanted his family to meet you, you were the most radiant person he ever had the pleasure of breathing next to and that was precisely the problem. He wanted you all to himself.

“I’m sorry.” He said clearing his throat. “Would you like to meet her?” The house erupted with enthusiastic yes’s as his words seemed to smooth over the transgression.

Eight months after that conversation, and after 6 canceled dinners 2 rescheduled lunches and just a straight up no show for drinks, The Night Court decided Azriel was…delusional.

Of course they came to this conclusion delicately and most definitely amongst themselves after long and heated conversations.

Once again Rhysand and Cassian were sent to talk with the elusive spymaster and why he would make up such a lie.

Azriel just refused their nonsense once again. He had told them the truth and it was their fault they didn’t believe it. He had barely seen you these last couple months as you had been working on the Continent and he had other tasks assigned to him. He told his brothers this and they just gave each other a look, one he simply ignored.

Soon…the teasing started. Once the Inner Circle realized Azriel was doubling down on his ‘delusions’ Cassian promptly started joking about the fake wife and mate Azriel had. A few offhand comments here and there that become more and more frequent, of course Nesta and the rest of their family told him to shut up, but for Cassian it came from a place of love.

He had tried talking to his brother, tried helping him through this. Cassian’s mind spinning, he truly thought Azriel had finally cracked, that his dearest brother was so alone he had made up an imaginary mate just to prove something.

So his teasing was his last ditch effort, the final playing card to hopefully get Azriel to just admit he lied, than Cassian would take him out for drinks and be his shoulder to cry on for whatever issue that was obviously going on.

Except it didn’t work. Azriel just grew more and more distant, if he wasn’t working he was simply…elsewhere. The last time Azriel ever made an effort to be around his family was when he suddenly up and decided to move out of the House of Wind, throwing a small house party for a beautiful cottage he purchased along the coast.

Rhysand had to force Azriel to come to family dinners, in which sometimes the Spymaster simply never showed up and when he did his mind seemed distant and detached.

Everyone was getting increasingly worried, especially Cassian. Azriel was incredibly important to him and although Cassian would never admit this, he felt responsible for him. Sometimes his brother didn’t know how to take care of himself, especially emotionally and whenever that happened The General had always been there, happily helping him whenever he could, making sure his heart and mind were protected, fighting off Azriel’s demons when he couldn’t do it himself.

And he had never seen his brother so…aloof, distant and he had never thought his mental health would have gotten so bad he had made up a mate. So finally, Cassian and Rhys decided it was time for an intervention.

———

Azriel.. for the life of him could not wait for his brothers to get out of his house.

He loved them dearly and he knew he had been acting stranger and stranger these last few years, he knew his family thought he was certifiably insane and that great Shadowsinger of the fearsome Night Court had finally snapped and of course he cared, he knew that his actions had his brothers spinning and Nesta’s newly revealed pregnancy didn’t help Cassian’s grey hairs, and he had tried countless times to explain to them that he wasn’t insane, that you were real and beautiful and had utterly and completely captured his heart.

But without the proof, his brothers simply didn’t believe him. Azriel wanted you to meet his family, gods did he want you too. But his time with you was becoming more and more rare.

If you weren’t on the Continent you were with Thesan and if you weren’t with Thesan you were with Helion, leading all sorts of medical discoveries he simply could not comprehend no matter how hard he tried, this new medical project you were taking on meant that he hadn’t seen you in months, his body and heart ached for you and he truly had never felt such longing in his life. His brother’s insisting that he was insane certainly wasn’t helping his heartache.

“I…” Cassian swallowed. “I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore Az.” He whispered finally and Azriel truly felt the guilt he had been burying down hit him as if he had been struck at the look on his brother’s face.

He opened his mouth to say something but ultimately couldn’t find the words as Cassian left his home office, his footsteps echoing the utter doom and gloom he felt not only at your disappearance but at the raging guilt he felt for putting everyone in this situation in the first place.

“Please…Just talk to us Az-“ Rhys started but he put his hand up. “Just, Go..please, we can talk about this later.” Azriel pleaded and Rhysand must’ve seen the look on his face so he pursed his lips and followed the General out of his brother’s home.

———

You couldn’t wait to get home not only to the house you’d built together but to your mate. Every fiber of your being ached for him, and it physically hurt to be away from him for so long.

So finally you had announced to your team and your dearest friend Thesan you were taking a well deserved break and decided to surprise your mate.

You desperately needed to see him, hold him, breathe him in. Your soul was raging for the distance to finally be closed and so you planned a surprise trip, so you shut off the bond to him, which had sent him into a wild panic but you soothed it temporarily saying you were busy and needed to focus. But really you knew you couldn’t hide the excitement at finally arriving home, your chest was alight with nerves as you opened the door to your house, your fingers nervously playing with your hair as you couldn’t stop the giddy smile from erupting across your face.

This was space was yours. For the first time you had not just a house but a home, and a lot of your tension eased at finally stepping into the carefully curated space you and Azriel had created. You could smell him everywhere, and it insantly made your frayed nerves ease, your body already relaxing at just finally being home.

It had been six long months without touching him, seeing him, with only fleeting reassurance and love sent down the bond and you needed him. Now.

You were so excited you didn’t see the tall and bulky Illyrian warrior standing in your hallway staring at you as if he had seen a ghost. You crashed into a hard wall of muscle in your haste to get to your mate and immediately pulled back.

“Your…not Azriel.” You stated, looking him up and down with a small frown etched on your face, something primal recoiling at the thought of another male in your house.

“Neither are you?” The male stated his voice with a slight edge, eyes wary as he looked you up and down, as if you were a threat. His fingers twitching and you immediately pulled away from him noticing his dangerous expression. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here? I think the question is what the hell are you doing in my house.” You asked stepping another few paces away from him but still crossing your arms over your chest as you looked him up and down. He wore red siphons on his hands and his long brown hair had a few greys all tied together in a low bun. Cassian, then you assumed.

“Wait..I’m sorry what?” The male sputtered, his vicious stance immediately softening into one of shock. You didn’t notice the High Lord standing behind him with an equal look of surprise as their brains finally processed the information. Their brother hadn’t cracked, he had been telling the truth about all of it. The traveling, the courtship, that he was in fact married and mated.

Shadows twisted in the corner before scurrying off down the hall and in just a few seconds you were being tugged into a warm chest and spun around as scarred hands possessively held your waist. You giggled at the touch, the bond in your chest thrummed with light as peace finally settled in your bones. Home you were finally home. He set you down and you leaned up pulling his face close to yours as you peppered him with kisses. Gods you had missed him so much. He smiled softly at your touch shadows almost completely engulfing you as they too missed you.

“Hey, Hello? We’re still here.” Cassian snapped his fingers to get your attention and Azriel growled darkly at the intrusion. You had been gone for six months you were his not his family’s. It wasn’t just a want that made him grip you even tighter at the thought of his family taking away your time with their endless interrogation no, no it was a need that thrummed throughout the fiber of his being. He needed to mark you up and hold you close and worship every single inch of skin on your body. He needed to completely immerse himself into you.

Rhysand must have seen the look on his face or heard something in his mind because he gently gripped Cassian’s shoulders. “If you neither of you show up to breakfast tomorrow we will hunt you down or simply show up here.” It was said in a playful tone but Azriel understood the threat behind it, he was going to have to finally introduce you whether he liked it or not and with a simple wave of agreement from Azriel the two males winnowed away and he pressed himself further against you. Breathing in your scent all his stress and worry melting away as he did. The bond had been pulled so taut with the distance it had ached with the worst pain possible.

“I missed you.” You breathed out softly, he grunted in agreement. “Let me take you far away from here and show you how much I missed you.” He whispered as he pressed soft kisses down the side of your neck, you giggled and his heart beat faster at the noise. “You are not getting of that easy again Spymaster.” You spoke with another laugh. His hands tightened even further on your hips with frustration, one of them sliding up to tangle in your hair as he kissed you, his tongue sliding in your lips claiming your’s with a deep desire that settled in his bones. You’d leave again soon and now he’d have to share your limited time with someone else. He tugged at your bottom lip possessively at the thought and lifted you in his arms your legs straddling as his waist as he walked you to your bedroom to show you exactly how much you were his.

—————

The Inner Circle anxiously awaited The General and High Lord’s arrival, waiting on any news of Azriel’s mental health when they finally winnowed in. Shocked grins overtaking their expressions. There was a beat of silence before Cassian spoke up. “You’ll never guess what the actual fuck just happened.”

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #azriel x oc #azriel fluff #azriel angst #azriel x you #angst #fluff #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction

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matsunoluvr · 5 months ago

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୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ the love and deepspace boys favourite body parts

warnings: characters may be ooc, some suggestive writing, limited knowledge on xavi and zayne (rafayel stan…)

characters: rafayel, xavier, zayne and sylus

link to master list here!!

information: these are based on the idea that the mc and LIs are either dating or very clearly romantically (and possibly more lol) attracted to one another!!

author’s notes: xavier’s affinity for physical affection infected me and now i can’t stop thinking abt it curse abyssal chaos and their stupid stories wdym we were cuddling w xavier ARGHH

more below the cut!! :3

as a painter, rafayel is, naturally, drawn to the whole figure - he’d say things such as “the body can show what words don’t speak” and such.

in the past he’s dabbled in figure painting, after all he is an artist at heart - he had to try everything - but he found that overall he much rather paint sceneries and landscapes. he just saw no appeal in the human body, it was all rather dull in comparison to the beauty nature held.

that was, of course, before he met you. ,and, well, every since then he found it difficult to paint anyone, anything, that didn’t include any aspect of you. from the exact hues of your eyes to the supple red of your lips after you two kiss, rafayel would incorporate your essence into any painting of his.

so it’s obvious that he loves your body, he loves every inch, but what was his favourite?

well… rafayel is obsessed with your hands… like so obsessed it’s insane. always wanting to hold them, kiss them, caress them, everything.

feeling your skin on his, no matter if your hands are soft or rough, large or small, fingers are long or thinner, he just loves the intimacy of intertwining his fingers with yours.

sometimes you can feel his gaze on you when you fiddle with them, if you run them through your hair or finger as a loose thread in your clothing - his eyes are fondly observing your every move.

if you ask what his obsession with hands were, he’d deny any specific attraction to them

“Hands? They’re just like any other body part.”

but then you ask specifically, what’s the obsession with your hands, and then his ears are turning red.

“Y-your hands? Nothing, no- I do not have an obsession with your hands…”

but then you grasp his chin, tilt his face up and trail a finger along his jaw and he’s shivering, flinching deliciously to your touch

tease him for it and he’ll get flustered - frowning but not denying anything at this point, because your finger is now trailing down his neck and gently brushing against his collar bones.

of course, his affinity for your hands can be exploited.

for example, when rafayel ignores you for sustained periods of time working on a painting.

“Wait a second, I’m painting.” and you get sick of waiting, so you decide to toy with him a little

he’s so engrossed in painting he doesn’t even notice you creeping up behind him, he doesn’t notice you until your hands are sneaking around his small waist, moving forwards until you’re toying with the buttons on the front of his shirt.

his small yelp of surprise is adorable, and the red that creeps up his neck to his ears is beautiful - you can tell his attention is now narrowed in on the way your fingers creep through the gaps in his shirt and your nails gently scratch at his abdomen

you can hear his breathing stutter and his heartbeat quicken, and if you turn him around to face you - well you don’t need to be a mind reader to tell what he was thinking when you looked at the tent growing downstairs…

“Please… I won’t ignore you I promise… so please keep touching me.”

we all know xavier can’t keep his hands off you, from purposefully pulling you a little too close to him when a wanderer seems too angry to cuddling into your chest when taking a nap.

he’s sly, sly like a little minx, and he knows exactly how to tease you.

with this in mind, his favourite part of your body is your neck - just like how his neck is his weak-spot

he is a very possessive man, and god does he love acting on it to prove to the world that you’re his (though with the glares he gives other men/women, I don’t really think he needs to make any other point that man is terrifying when he is jealous)

he shows his love by literally devouring your neck, sucking hickeys and giving little love bites all over your neck - if you tell him to stop he’ll definitely be giving you a petulant pout.

xavier just loves the fact that he’s the only one allowed to touch you there, that he’s the only one that’s allowed to nibble at your sensitive neck - the most vulnerable part of your body. the control he has over that area of your skin drives him NUTS

like seriously, you two will be making out (see this post for the lnd boys giving first kisses teehee) and all of a sudden he’s lunging at your neck and kissing it like there’s no tomorrow - all whilst sporting red ears and furrowed eyebrows.

xavier looks so concentrated, really dedicating all of his energy into making sure everyone knows you are his. also trying to focus the blood anywhere but south LMAO

by the way, you can exploit this by purposefully wearing low-cut v-necks, exposing your neck all for xavier.

even the opposite can work… wearing turtle necks or scarves, restricting his access when making out can get him riled up

one time he almost ripped your turtle neck with how far he was tugging it down so he could suck at your collar bones…

one time you and xavier went on a mission where you dressed undercover as a rich couple and went to a masquerade ball

when you and xavier split up, a man that you recognised as your ‘neighbour’ - who lived in the apartment next to the one you and xavier rented - approached you and started up a conversation - to be honest it wasn’t exactly flirtatious nor suggestive but you suddenly found yourself being yanked back into a solid chest

when you looked up you could see the seething possessiveness that simmered in xavier’s irises, and his grip on your waist was tight.

“Are you okay, dear? Is this man bothering you?”

his voice is much, much colder than you’ve ever heard it before, and there’s an edge to it that was so un-xavier like.

needless to say, the man scurried off as fast as possible

that night… well xavier made sure to pretty up your neck in lovely blotches of purpled-pinks…

his tongue is surprisingly skilled, swirling and caressing your sensitive skin in sensual patterns…

the next morning when you accidentally bumped into the man from the night before, you could definitely feel a sense of smug satisfaction come from xavier as the man’s eyes widened upon seeing your marked up neck

“What? I didn’t mean to… I just got carried away.”

zayne is a gentle-man, and his pure and innocent answer would be your eyes, and it’s not wrong. he loves gazing into your eyes - even though he doesn’t like it when you reciprocate the action.

whenever you’re lost in thought, or gazing into the distance, he finds himself searching your irises, or losing himself in your pupils.

but, if we really unveil dr zayne’s thoughts… he really loves your lips

like of course there’s the romantic and thoughtful side to it, he loves the little quirks and silent give-aways your lips can tell, such as the way they twitch a little when you lie or the way they look when you smile

he loves how you sometimes nibble on the bottom lip when deep in thought, and finds it especially cute when you sulk when he acts clueless to your flirtation

he especially loves, however, the way they glisten after you lick your lips with your soft tongue… or after he’s done having his way with you…

zayne loves when they turn swollen after a long make out session, or the way they pout when he teases you - leaning in for a kiss only to pull away and tuck some hair behind your ear

he loves the way your lips change colours, shades and hues, on warmer days they look velvety and on cooler days they’re more dry, and when he’s nipping at your bottom lip and kissing you deeply they turn a richer, more sensational shade of red…

sometimes he enjoys just watching you eat, seeing your mouth relax into a satisfied smile as you greedily swallow up your favourite dish

you can, obviously, use this to your advantage.

when he’s talking all mr professional-cold-hearted zayne mode, just draw attention to your mouth, whether it be by wetting your lips or by bitting your bottom lip, it’ll almost definitely cause him to hesitate

“…concerning your heart medication…” and then he drifts off ever so slightly before continuing his tangent on your health. it’s not a huge pause but coming from dr zayne? ANY sign of hesitation is a huge thing!

and sometimes, well he enjoys a little bit more…

the first time you really acknowledge his thing for your lips was when you two were out on a little date.

summer was at its peak and it was fucking boiling, even with your walking AC unit - dr zayne - it was still way too hot to handle

in response, you and zayne decide to take a trip to the local ice-cream parlour - he orders some form of ice drink - not too sweet - with whipped cream, whilst you order your favourite.

at one point - one thing led to another - and zayne ends up with some cream on his finger… and fuck if you were going to let this opportunity pass…

you grabbed his hand just before he could protest and took the tip of his finger in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him and gently sucking off the cream.

needless to say his rationality was lost, the only thought in his brain dissolved into the carnal need to claim you.

you can literally see the moment in his eyes, from confused to extremely, whole-heartedly, soulfully, biblically aroused - it’s actually a spectacle to observe

needless to say he took you to your apartment within the next 30 minutes and let’s just say… you didn’t get a good night’s sleep LOL

“I didn’t know you liked playing games this much. Let’s see how long you can play my game then.”

guys… i’m sorry… i can’t help it even if it falls into the stereotypical fuck-boy sylus core head cannons…

he’s an ass man.

sylus just loves a good ol’ ass, and unfortunately due to his unashamed nature he absolutely does not hide his admiration for your… assets.

gifts of form fitting leggings, dresses/suits, god sometimes even hunters uniform that flatter your lower half - he’s absolutely transfixed on your ass it’s actually concerning

“Your old trousers didn’t fit, they were too large. Wear these.”

if you did wear them sylus is going to explode. explode as in watch you with a starved look in his eyes, just begging for you.

when you’re out and around his residence - e.g. by the kitchen sink, don’t be surprised if you randomly feel a large, firm hand situate itself right on one of your cheeks, and i’m not talking about the ones on your face LMAOOO

and god if you bend over in front of him he’s going to be walking up behind you and observing very… very closely - at what you’re doing of course..

if you look up you’ll where his eyes are looking and it’s certainly not at what you’re doing (he’s appreciating your ass)

why he likes your ass, do i even need to explain?

does a man really need a reason to like ass??

he also likes love handles and tummies, i can totally see sylus absolutely adoring every part of your body tbh i wholeheartedly believe in love-sick loser boyfriend sylus who accidentally falls head over heels in love with you

love handles - he likes the look of them, he thinks they compliment your body, whether your body presents more masculine, feminine or neither!!

he also loves uh, grabbing onto them when he needs something to hold whilst… performing activities with you lets just say that

if you’re on the thinner side don’t worry, he doesn’t discriminate when it comes to ass, all shapes and sizes are sylus approved!!!

i can imagine how sylus would suffer if you acted oblivious, wearing tight trousers or wearing dresses/suits that clearly were tailored by his personal designer to compliment your figure

at balls that you were forced to attend with sylus in the n109 zone, he always stood suspiciously close to your back - either hiding/protecting your ass from creepy men or keeping it all for himself…

if not your ass, and if we are talking about more… appropriate parts of the body, he’d probably go for your hands.

he just loves how small they are against his, and especially loves biting them gently

speaking of which sylus 100% has a thing for biting that i don’t think people talk about enough - a lot? possibly, i haven’t seen much, but definitely not enough.

after your evol linkage ordeal and having to have his hands close to yours all the time, it really made him realise how much smaller your hands were

also, the idea of intwining fingers, holding hands… maybe even your hands wrapping around something else… yeah he can sometimes get carried away thinking about your hands…

in the café when you get all handsy on him, he definitely has one too many nsfw thoughts about you as he notices how warm and small the palm of your hand was in relation to his own body.

“Dont stop, keep touching me, kitten.”

AN: tl;dr the LND men are absolutely smitten for you and love your body no matter what. for the first 3 it was pretty simple for me, but i struggled with sylus. he seems to be a touchy man who doesn’t shy from physical contact so I got a little carried away… oops

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subjectsix · 1 month ago

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KIP'S BIG POST OF THINGS TO MAKE THE INTERNET & TECHNOLOGY SUCK A LITTLE LESS

Post last updated November 23, 2024. Will continue to update!

Here are my favorite things to use to navigate technology my own way:

A refurbished iPod loaded with Rockbox OS (Rockbox is free, iPods range in price. I linked the site I got mine from. Note that iPods get finicky about syncing and the kind of cord it has— it may still charge but might not recognize the device to sync. Getting an original Apple cord sometimes helps). Rockbox has ports for other MP3 players as well.

This Windows debloater program (there are viable alternatives out there, this one works for me). It has a powershell script that give you a little UI and buttons to press, which I appreciate, as I'm still a bit shy with tech.

Firefox with the following extensions: - Consent-O-Matic (set your responses to ALL privacy/cookie pop-ups in the extension, and it will answer all pop-ups for you. I can see reasons to not use it, but I appreciate it) - Facebook Container ("contains" Meta on Facebook and Instagram pages to keep it from tracking you or getting third party cookies, since Meta is fairly egregious about it) - Redirect Amp to HTML (AMP is designed for mobile phones, this forces pages to go to their HTML version) - A WebP/AVIF image converter - uBlock Origin and uBlacklist, with the AI blacklist loaded in to kill any generative AI results from appearing in search engines or anywhere.

Handbrake for ripping DVDs— I haven’t used this in awhile as I haven’t been making video edits. I used this back when I had a Mac OS

VLC Media Player (ol’ reliable)

Unsplash & Pexels for free-to-use images

A password manager (these often are paid. I use Dashlane. There are many options, feel free to search around and ask for recs!). There is a lot that goes into cybersecurity— find the option you feel is best for you.

Things I suggest:

Understanding Royalty Free and the Creative Commons licenses

Familiarity with boolean operators for searching

Investing in a backup drive and external drive

A few good USBs, including one that has a backup of your OS on it

Adapter cables

Avoiding Fandom “wikias” (as in the brand “Fandom”) and supporting other, fan-run or supported wikis. Consider contributing if its something you find yourself passionate or joyful about.

Finding Forums for the things you like, or creating your own*

Create an email specifically for ads/shopping— use it to receive all promotional emails to keep your inbox clean. Upkeep it.

Stop putting so much of your personal information online— be willing to separate your personal online identity from your “online identity”. You don’t owe people your name, location, pronouns, diagnoses, or any of that. It’s your choice, but be discerning in what you give and why. I recommend avoiding providing your phone number to sites as much as possible.

Be intentional

Ask questions

Talk to people

Remember that you can lurk all you want

Things that are fun to check out:

BBSes-- here's a portal to access them.

Neocities

*Forums-- find some to join, or maybe host your own? The system I was most familiar with was vbulletin.

MMM.page

Things that have worked well for me but might work for you, YMMV:

Limit your app usage time on your smartphone if you’re prone to going back to them— this is a tangible way to “practice mindfulness”, a term I find frustratingly vague ansjdbdj

Things I’m looking into:

The “Pi Hole”— a raspberry pi set up to block all ads on a specific internet connection

VPNs-- this is one that was recommended to me.

How to use computers (I mean it): Resources on how to understand your machine and what you’re doing, even if your skill and knowledge level is currently 0:

This section I'll come back an add to. I know that messing with computers can be intimidating, especially if you feel out of your depth. HTML and regedits and especially things like dualbooting or linux feel impossible. So I want to put things here that explain exactly how the internet and your computer functions, and how you can learn and work with that. Yippee!

#old internet #computer tag #resource post

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pellucid-constellations · 8 months ago

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If It All Fell (8)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart��if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: Angst, pining, injury

a/n: I appreciate thoughts and reactions more than you know!!! <333 Italics indicate flashbacks.

Series Masterlist (all parts ♡)

The next two weeks were interesting.

In the first few days after the accident—the ones filled with confusion and incorrect suspicions—you had spent most of your time alone or sleeping. Mor visited your bedroom every morning to share limited information about your past, but there was no routine beyond that. Everyone tiptoed around you, too afraid to set off the timebomb they assumed was your mind.

But Helion had disputed that assumption.

You were allowed to know who you were, to become the person you had been.

So, a routine began to form.

Breakfast early in the morning, usually with a random assortment of the inner circle. Mor was always present, keeping up with her responsibility of telling you about yourself. Cassian joined more often than not—an early riser, he deemed himself. Azriel made it when he could. He was always busy in the morning. Doing… something, everyone told you.

Rhysand would join you after the meal, whisking you away for an hour or two to work on the powers you still could not call upon. He would have a different objective in mind every day and it was your job to parse out what it was.

You failed.

Obviously.

He started bringing in random Velaris citizens instead, but you still felt nothing. It was nice to see the smiling strangers; they were all kind to you, all apparently knowing who you were. The vagueness surrounding them leveled the playing field more. They didn’t know your whole life story and you weren’t supposed to know theirs.

“You’ve explained it to me before,” Rhysand had said. “It’s a vibration, sometimes a light or a color. You see it around them, feel it. You understand a deep part within them that they don’t even know they’re revealing.”

Well, there was never any light or vibration or color. You could never tell that the fae were lying or that Rhysand was planning something big for his anniversary with his mate. None of this otherworldly intuition that the Night Court seemed to value so highly. It was all just stagnant.

After spending some time failing with Rhys, you got to explore Velaris. You had insisted that you didn’t need a chaperone, and your family believed you—for a time. You had three whole days of walking around the city alone before that privilege was revoked.

Granted, it was your fault that it was revoked, but that was neither here nor there.

It hadn’t been your plan to get lost, just as it hadn’t been your plan to get caught up in a street brawl over a cart of potatoes. But when you weren’t at the designated meeting spot for Cassian to bring you back up the house, and when he found you with a bleeding nose an hour later, what you meant to do didn’t matter.

“Y/n?” you heard a voice shout, heavy footsteps shaking the ground beneath you. “Shit—y/n, look at me, you okay?”

Warm hands enveloped your shaking ones, drawing them back and catching sight of the red staining your fingerprints. It was Cassian, you realized, with his broad wings cloaking you in their shadow. The General’s expression hardened when he took in your face.

“What happened?” he asked, voice low, comfort combatting fury. “Where have you been? We have about 10 people looking for you, sweetheart.”

You grimaced—both at the pain in your nose and the notion of your family scouring the streets of Velaris. “I’m so, so sorry, Cassian. I got turned around and then I was in this alley and there was a boy—”

“Hey!” Defeat washed through you at the sound of another voice in the alley, all hopes for a peaceful return home washed away. “Is your girlfriend over there gonna pay for the product I lost?”

The Illyrian before you paused, body going still at the accusatory tone. Cassian’s jaw clenched and he turned, keeping you well behind him. You still caught a glimpse of the scene from between his legs, and the merchant—to his credit—had the mind to stop his taunting.

And to look afraid.

Really, truly afraid.

“You did this to her?” Cassian growled, fists clenching at his sides.

The merchant swallowed. “You’re—and she’s…”

“Did you. Do this. To her?” Cassian asked again, words broken up by malice.

A beat of pressing silence, only whispers of the street meeting your ears. The merchant took several, shaky steps back, but the movement damned him. His hands swayed with his backtracking feet, and red glistened on his knuckles.

Cassian’s wings flared at the sight. It only took a small uptick of his brow for the smaller man to fall to the floor in a plea.

“Please, please don’t kill me! I didn’t know who she was. Don’t turn me over to the Shadowsinger, I won’t make it! I have a family to care for—a wife! I was only trying to protect my crops and she butted in. I didn’t want to hurt her!”

The General hooked his chin over his shoulder and sent you a questioning gaze, one you were sheepish to answer. With a harrowing breath, you revealed, “There was a little boy stealing potatoes. He was going to hit him. I stepped in the way.”

A tug at your chest had you gasping as Cassian turned back around. The feeling had been persistent the moment you got lost, increasing after you’d been implicated in the merchant’s conflict. It pulled and pulled, a desperate winding around your ribs that you didn’t know how to relieve.

It had to have been fear. Or stress.

Cassian eyed the man crumpled to the floor. “Is the boy okay?” he asked, the question meant for you but directed across the alley.

“Yes,” you confirmed, pressing your hand to the blood running down your chin. “He ran away.”

Cassian grunted, sent a harsh warning to the man, and then crouched back down to your place on the ground, shaking his head in frustration. “Let’s get you home.” And then he grumbled, “I might get my ass kicked but…”

Cassian had not gotten his ass kicked when you got home, but many other things happened. Mor just about cried in relief, her arms thrown around your neck followed by a string of commands to never do such a thing again. Rhys rubbed at his jaw as tension lifted from the House. He also had a command—that you wouldn’t be traveling alone anymore.

And Azriel… Azriel looked like he would vomit, his shadows flitting angrily around him before bridging a path to you. He had cleaned the blood from your face, eyes haunted by misplaced grief, and pure guilt replaced all else in your myriad of emotions.

You agreed an escort would be better.

Azriel volunteered. Every day.

And so you got to know Azriel.

Mor had described him as reserved, not one to offer the intimacy of touch or personal information so readily. That was not your experience with the Shadowsinger.

Fleeting touches had become commonplace between the two of you, whether it was his hands or his wings or the brush of his thigh as you sat by the Sidra. You weren’t sure if he was doing it consciously, but you welcomed the familiarity. You found he did it most when he wasn’t paying attention—when he was deep into a story about your past or listening to your opinions intently.

He was open, sharing pieces of himself you didn’t have to pry to receive. He told you about his mother, about his scars, about how he overcame them. He shared with you how important you were to him many, many times, slipping it into conversations so causally. A thread connected the pieces of his life, and you, it appeared, made up the spool.

He did not speak of his mate, despite being prompted.

A sadness came over him at any mention of her, one so achingly melancholy that you told yourself you wouldn’t ask again.

He loved her deeply, but something had happened there.

You tried not to get too close. This was friendship, a deep familial love that he relied on. That you seemed to have relied on for so many years.

And Azriel was hurt. Even if he and his mate were no longer intertwined by their bond, he didn’t need the onslaught of emotions his amnesiac friend was suddenly overcome with.

Because you were—overcome by emotions for him.

It was wrong.

You wished you had the context to separate those feelings. If you understood your history—if you had memories beyond the few weeks of sweet stories and brushes of his fingers along your hair—maybe you wouldn't be feeling this way. Maybe your heart wouldn’t beat painfully against your ribs each time he entered the room… each time his eyes met yours as if he could feel your admiration for him within his own chest.

You wouldn’t be feeling this way, surely. Because no one had told you that you should be.

You only had the recounts of your friends, and the three of them had made no insinuations about you and Azriel.

You wished you could meet the rest of the inner circle.

There had been plans to, but then you came home with blood on your face and a disorientation in your eyes and that was suddenly off the table.

After your time exploring Velaris, you read.

Mor would pile your favorite books beside you in the small reading room you had come to love and rave about how great of an opportunity this was for you.

“You would kill to be able to read these for the first time again,” she’d laugh. “So have at it!”

Reading felt easy.

Books did not pressure you to remember things you weren’t able to.

You could see it all in their eyes, the way your family clung to each of your words for even a hint of reminiscence. They’d make a joke and hold their breath, desperate for the laugh that should be bubbling out of you. But you never got it, never making the connections that they did.

Azriel was the only one who’d catch the shame you felt at your lack of deliverance. Although he was the one with the most torture in his expression, he was also the one with the most understanding. He’d lean his head down and whisper what you needed to know in your ear, and then you’d giggle—for show—and hope would return to the room.

But nothing had returned to you.

You were still a shell.

“What do you think?”

Cassian’s question blanketed the table, forks halting their movements atop plates. Breakfast had just begun and you were dressed for a morning in Velaris at the theater, this time with Cassian.

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?” Mor questioned, eyeing the General beneath a raised brow.

“Were you there last week when I brought her home all bloody? I think it’s a great idea. Rhys agrees.”

“And Az?”

Cassian continued his breakfast, reaching for his drink. “Cassian—”

And so you found yourself steps away from the roof of the House of Wind—no longer in the comfortable daywear you’d been sporting—squinting into the morning sun. Leathers fitted for your body were laced up at your back and waist, stretching with a groan as you reached up to block the light from your eyes. Although the pain in your head had subsided to practically nonexistence, it often flared up in brightness or in times of stress.

Like when you stood atop a mountain and stared into the sun. Or got punched in the nose by a potato merchant.

“This is where I go while you go galavanting around the city,” Cassian chimed in, a grin evident in his words.

“Charming,” you muttered, still adjusting to the jarring assault of the sun.

The sound of grunts and clashing metal oriented you quicker, and as your eyesight settled you were met with the image of Azriel. He was bare-chested, leathers donning his legs as he pressed further and further forward, the knife you always saw at his hips hacking away at the metal dummy before him.

He moved so quickly that it was difficult to track him, one swipe after another, so carefully skilled and practiced. Sweat beaded down his tattooed skin. His wings rippled and spread in time with his footwork.

He was mesmerizing, a force of nature only halting as his shadows wound around his ear, whispering. Azriel whipped around, sheathing his knife at his side and staring out beyond the training ring with a narrowed gaze. He spotted you instantly, without looking near or around—a magnetic force.

Until he wasn’t looking at you, instead glowering in Cassian’s direction. “What are you doing, brother?” he bit out. The back of his hand made a quick pass along his forehead.

Cassian didn’t look the slightest bit sheepish, ushering you to the outskirts of the ring. “She’s going to train. Now that we know she won’t break at the slightest thing.”

Hazel eyes slid back to you, a softness overcoming them as you quickly averted your gaze from the broadness of his chest. You were not ogling him.

You bit into your cheek to stave off the embarrassment.

“I thought we agreed—”

“Az, come on. It’s been a couple of weeks now. We need to get her back in the swing of things.”

A crack of defeat edged its way onto the Shadowsinger’s face.

What had they agreed on? To wait it out? To treat you like glass until you were their version of yourself again? Something ugly licked up into your chest, something raw.

For a moment—just one—you stood on the sidelines and felt pathetic. While the two Illyrians stared at each other, a silent conversation between eyes, you let yourself feel like an outsider. They had had discussions about you, but not really about you. About the you that they loved—the one with memories and reciprocation.

“Will you be careful?” Azriel’s even voice snapped you out of the spiral you had initiated. His expression was uneasy, a hand pressed to his chest. “And tell us if you need to stop? If your head—”

“My head has been completely fine for a while now,” you assured, hands coming up to grasp the rungs of the training ring. “Promise.”

Azriel pressed his lips into a line but motioned you in with a nod of his head.

Despite the conflict still raging within your mind, you smiled at Cassian, the two of you letting out a small cheer and high-fiving before the General lifted you by your hips and past the rungs. You regained your footing and stood before the spymaster, meeting his level gaze with your own.

“Alright, sweetheart,” Cassian began, a loud clap resonating behind you. “Muscle memory is going to play a big role here, but I don’t want to risk you getting hurt, so you’re just with this guy for now.” He patted the shoulder of the dummy Azriel had been practicing with.

You scoffed, dropping your hands to hang by your thighs. “What? I still have the same muscle tone from before and last I checked my face was beaten in by a real person, not a chunk of metal.”

“And that will not happen again,” Azriel cut it. “Ever. But especially not when you’re… in this state.”

You ignored the unsettling remark. “Okay, well I think sparring one of you would be more effective in the prevention of that, don’t you?”

“Cassian and I could hurt you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“We can’t guarantee—”

“I trust you,” you interrupted, your view of Azriel partially obstructed by the shadows that wound up your body. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Let me do this, Az.”

The male before you faltered, his eyes darting quickly between yours. His chest, gleaming in the sunlight, rose and fell with strenuous effort. A clench of his jaw. Another pass of silence.

“Okay,” he nodded, gaze roving over your features. “Okay, y/n. Get warmed up and we can spar.”

You warmed up with Cassian, stretching and relishing in the feel of your body moving. He went over a few basic maneuvers with you, and you tried your hardest to pay close attention to how his feet slid around the ring.

It was a rather hard task, seeing as Azriel had continued his blade work on the dummy. Still shirtless.

After the General was satisfied with your progress, he passed you off to his brother. The Shadowsinger’s posture had softened a hair from when you first entered the ring, his wings coiled back and his shadows creating uneven shapes along the floor. He kept his hands by his sides, his feet relaxed—not a fighting stance in the slightest.

“Come on,” you teased, cocking your head to the side. “You have to at least try, Az.”

“I did not spar with you often before your memories were lost,” he admitted. “I do not enjoy the thought of hurting you.”

Guilt immediately flooded you. You hadn’t even thought about what this would be like for him, too caught up in your own strife. Your stance dropped, the fists at your chin loosening and falling.

“Oh, Azriel, I’m sorry. I can have Cassian—”

“No.” He dragged his left foot back. A ghost of a fighting position. “Only me.”

You took a painful breath in.

He didn’t move, allowing you to lead.

You shook your hands out and then your body moved of its own accord.

You swiped at his legs first, unsurprised when he leaped back with practiced grace. The two of you fell into a dance of drawn arms and calculated shifts and you were almost unnerved by how your body moved without you willing it to.

Cassian had said that muscle memory would play a role.

It seemed to be the only thing driving you.

You went for his knees, but in a way that maneuvered past his wings.

You used his shadows as cover, taking advantage of their familiarity with you and cloaking yourself in their mist.

Azriel swung a halfhearted punch at your shoulder and you bypassed the motion, grabbing his wrist and twisting at his back.

It felt right. Your actions were not your own but they were ingrained in your being.

This was your body.

Something that remained unchanged.

In your newfound joy, you missed the open palm Azriel carefully directed at your chest. The impact caught you off guard, stealing your breath from your lungs as you were pushed to the ground. As your back hit the floor, another shocking burst of air was ripped from you.

You laid frozen for a moment before a shadow cast over your body, the sun no longer beating down on your skin. Through the ringing in your ears, Azriel’s voice flowed through.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have—y/n, take a breath.” A scarred hand rubbed along your clavicle. “Breathe. You’re okay. Breathe.”

A startling gasp of oxygen entered your lungs. You were fine, completely unharmed, only shocked and disoriented. Azriel bowed his head as you continued to circulate the air into your body, and it was then that you saw it.

A chain hung between you, dangling from his neck and brushing against your chin. It swayed back and forth, a grounding point as you blinked back the tears lining your eyes. The ring glinted in the sun, rubbing against the golden chain, looking as if it did not belong there.

Azriel tracked your gaze as he raised his head, looking down at the object of your attention. He sat back on his ankles and the diamond followed him, resting close to his chest.

You raised yourself to your elbows. “Who’s—” You coughed. Azriel winced. “Is that yours?”

A stupid question, but you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. A guarded look passed over the Shadowsinger’s face and you regretted it instantly. He reached up and clutched the necklace in a closed fist.

“No,” he responded. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t release the ring.

“I’m okay,” you confirmed. “I’m not hurt. It just knocked the wind out of me.”

Azriel nodded. A grim line formed between his brows.

“Hey! She alright?” Cassian called. He had moved clear across the roof when you began to spar with Azriel, mentioning something about inventory or knives or something you hadn’t paid attention to. You had been too focused on the warmth you felt from being so close to Azriel’s skin.

The sound of Cassian’s voice did nothing to break the hold Azriel’s eyes had on you.

Another beat of silence passed.

The wind blew a strand of his hair across his forehead.

“I—”

“I have a mission. I was supposed to meet with Rhys before midday.” He spoke the words apologetically but his hand shook when it lowered to his knee.

The sun was already past the high point in the sky. It was no longer midday.

“Okay,” you whispered. “I want to thank you for—”

“Don’t thank me. Please, just—Be careful. I have to go.”

A quiet collection of parting words fell from your lips and Aziel twitched, looking as if he would move forward but thinking better of it.

But you had thoughts too, and they worked against Azriel’s

You raised to your knees and brushed the hair on his forehead back, a small smile gracing your face, trying so hard to melt some of the tension that had grown between you. Azriel’s breath caught as you moved, but you only doubled down, softly dragging your nails along his scalp.

He shuddered, eyes falling shut for a brief, unguarded moment.

His shadows consumed him.

Azriel was gone.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #azriel x female!reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel acotar #azriel angst #acotar #acotar fanfiction #fanfic

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alistarascendance · 8 months ago

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❝𝐈 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨, 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧—𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧?❞

— in which, fabled legend Alistar returns from the Chasm decades after their descent, only to find themself faced with an issue: humanity, in their absence, has created a world of suffering, dilapidated by greed, and Alistar’s presence only continues to fuel their selfishness, as a living legend must kill… or be killed.

Alistar: Ascendance is a cyberpunk, dystopian romance interactive fiction that was originally intended to simply be a story, before its writer (me) decided to be impulsive and turn it into an IF.

DISCLAIMERS

this story will contain depictions of alcohol, smoking, blood, violence, profanity, mild gore, yandere behavior, toxic relationships, suggestive themes, discrimination, self-hatred, mentions of emotional and physical abuse, suicidal thoughts, an oppressive government, fictional languages and religions, real world philosophies/religions including but not limited to: cynicism, nihilism and atheism; a corrupt world, discussion of morals and human conscience, as well as other mature themes. this list will be updated as the story is written.

please keep all of this in mind while reading!

A gender-selectable MC, who you choose the name, personality, sexuality, appearance, and morals of.

A wide variety of choices to choose from that will impact your story, and the need to keep your MC sane (or just go batshit insane. That works, too).

5 male love interests + 1 secret RO, all of whom you can maintain a simply platonic relationship with if you wish, or you can just continue to flirt with them endlessly (+ a FWB relationship for some).

An enriching world and story, set in a cyberpunk dystopia (we know all of you are here for the romance though).

A powerful MC 😔😔

ROs (romance options, also referred to as LIs or love interests).

THE SURFACE DWELLER:

Seven. 21, Chaotic Good. Mechanic.

“The HIVE needs to fall. There are no exceptions—not even for you.”

The first person you meet once you arrive on the Surface, you and Seven have a unique bond. He’s got a reputation in the slums and Neon for being great at parties, but his friendliness can easily be read as something more.

Is it something more? Further observations will have to be made…

THE SURVIVOR

Saturn. 23, Lawful Evil. Bartender.

“Keep your head down, and you’ll survive.”

The quiet bartender has a curious perspective on things. He seems to have no problem with the HIVE members patrolling his bar, even serving them drinks like they’re normal customers, despite their heavy armor and edges that are too sharp to be humane.

He also doesn’t seem to be particularly interested in you in the slightest. Why’s that?

THE DIPLOMAT

“Is it better to live in quiet solitude, your voice stripped and taken—or would you rather have died, knowing your voice was the loudest amongst them all?”

Chain. 23, alignment unclear. Current occupation unknown.

He’s someone to keep an eye out for. While he hasn’t practiced his craft in years, he may still prove to be dangerous. Just as friendly as Seven, but far more difficult to truly befriend.

Obtain new information as soon as possible…

THE PUPPET

Judge me if you must. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m up here, and you’re down there.

Orion. 25, Lawful Neutral. HIVE operative.

The HIVE member patrolling Saturn’s bar. Part of something greater than he is, but he’s a part of it, regardless. Keep him around…

OTHER ENTITIES

Argos: Neutral Good. Age unknown. The deity whose spear you brandished, after his passing. He was a good man, but the fact only makes your sins rest heavier in your heart.

Teacher: True Neutral. Around ~200 years old. The chasm-dwelling shadow who taught you all you know of the Chasm and its residents.

Alistar: alignment unknown. Around ~200 years old. That’s you! You’re Alistar. At least, that’s what the world has been calling you ever since you ended the war and revitalized humanity, so that is what you will be referred to as throughout the entirety of the story. However, if you’d like to change your name (as Alistar is the default) you may!

As I am primarily an author (as in I literally have done nothing else with my life) I am new to coding (I took ONE coding club in fourth grade) and am trying to write out and perfect a chapter before converting it into typical IF form.

Once I manage to get things situated, I’ll started to code. I’m currently almost done writing chapter 4, so I’ll start working on coding once I finish it.

If anyone wants to read the chapters I’ve written until now, just shoot me an ask or message :)) I’d be happy to show you. otherwise, here are the ones I’ve posted so far:

CHAPTERS

CHAPTER ONE: COURTING DEATH CHAPTER TWO: THOSE WHO REMAIN CHAPTER THREE: TARNISHED DREAMS

asked to be tagged for new chapters!

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alisonsfics · 5 months ago

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off limits - part five

pairing: brother’sbestfriend! henry cavill x reader

summary: henry was best friends with your brother, theo, which meant despite the clear chemistry between you two, you both had chosen to not date.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: swearing

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 6 coming soon

After getting the ominous text from Theo, your mind had been racing a million miles a minute. You had no idea why he suddenly wanted to hang out with you and Henry, specifically. Theo wasn’t even really supposed to know that you and Henry had been spending time together.

You tried to distract yourself with a whole lists of hobbies, but your mind kept running back to wondering what Theo wanted to talk about. Theo wasn’t normally very secretive. He was normally an extrovert who didn’t keep anything in. You started preparing yourself for the chance that Theo knew about you and Henry.

Theo had sent you an address for some gala being hosted by the company he worked for. The only other information he gave you was that you’d talk once you got there.

You tried to assure yourself that if he was going to yell at you for dating-but-not-dating his best friend, he probably wouldn’t have picked a public event.

You got dressed up, as the invitation mentioned, and arrived at the gala way earlier than you were supposed to. You hadn’t seen or spoken to Henry since you got the text from Theo. You both were mentally spiraling and needed some time to think.

When it was finally an acceptable time, you headed into the lobby, where you saw Henry waiting. He was sitting on a bench, anxiously tapping his leg.

He gave you a soft smile once he saw you. He was so anxious that he couldn’t even force himself to stand and give you a hug.

“Theo here yet?” You asked him, trying to keep your hands from shaking. He shook his head. “Haven’t seen him yet,” he told you.

You grabbed your phone out of your purse, hoping you could distract yourself. It didn’t work. You anxiously switched between your Instagram feed and your email for ten minutes, until Theo showed up.

When Theo finally walked through the door, you and Henry practically jumped. “Hey, Theo. How are you?” You asked, giving your brother a quick hug. You were partially convinced that if you acted like everything was okay, maybe it would be. “Hey, guys. It’s good to see you both.” Theo said, also giving Henry a hug.

“So, you guys are probably wondering about my text. I’m sorry that I was so vague, but I was worried that neither of you would agree if I told you beforehand.” Theo started to explain.

Your fears that this was about you and Henry started to fade, but they were replaced by fears that this was worse.

“So, you both know that you’re the maid of honor and best man at the wedding, which me and Sarah are so happy about. But, we knew neither of you had a date yet to the wedding, so me and Sarah wanted to set you both up.” Theo finished explaining.

You and Henry were stunned. You glanced over at Henry, trying to read his expression. You both had been so worried about Theo finding out, and now, it sounded like he wanted the two of you to be together. You weren’t sure what you were hearing. Neither one of you knew how to respond.

“So, Sarah’s on her way in with two of our friends. We think you’ll love them. For you, we have my coworker Todd. He loves all your favorite movies, and he’s really into cooking. And Henry, Sarah has this friend named Mia, who owns this little bakery downtown. And if all goes well, maybe they could be your dates to the wedding.” Theo said, causing a pit to form in both yours and Henry’s stomachs.

Theo wasn’t setting you up with Henry. He was setting you both up with different people. You couldn’t even tell Theo that you weren’t interested because both your dates already in the parking lot.

“Alright. One of you say something, please. You’re scaring me.” Theo said, noticing your stunned reactions.

You were pissed. Theo had ambushed you.

“What’s to say? They’re already here, aren’t they?” You said, with a slight bitterness. Henry and Theo both picked up on it, but neither of them mentioned it.

Then, the front door to the lobby opened, and Sarah walked in with two people behind her. Sarah smiled at you both, unaware of the awkward tension in the room.

“Hey, guys. This is Todd and Mia.” Sarah said, introducing you all. You politely smiled at Todd, who was giving you an expectant look. “Shall we?” He asked you, holding out his arm for you. You reluctantly held onto his arm, and he led you into the banquet hall.

Henry didn’t realize how protective he was over you until he saw you with Todd. It made Henry sick to his stomach.

Todd brought you over to your assigned table. You glanced at the name tags and realized that all six of you were at one table. Todd pulled out your chair for you, but you still didn’t even want to look at him.

“So, you work with Theo?” You asked with a desperate attempt at conversation. Todd nodded his head and starting rambling about his job. You watched Henry, Mia, Theo, and Sarah start heading towards your table and prepared for the disaster that you knew would occur.

You zoned out as Todd rambled on and on. Henry gave you a sympathetic look as he sat down. You’re weren’t mad at Henry in anyway, but for some reason, you hoped that he would stand up to Theo and fight for you. You knew it was a crazy hope and that Henry wouldn’t do it. Henry had promised you that he’d keep whatever your relationship was a secret from Theo. He wouldn’t break that promise without your permission.

As if you weren’t feeling upset enough, watching Mia practically drool over Henry wasn’t helping.

“I’m going to go get a drink. If anyone wants to come with.” Sarah excused herself, starting to pick up on the tension. “We’ll come with you,” Mia volunteered, grabbing onto Henry’s hand.

You watched Henry’s eyes widen as he was dragged away from the table. “While they’re gone, I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick. I’ll be back in a minute.” Todd excused himself as well.

“So how do you like him?” Theo asked from across the table as soon as Todd was out of earshot.

You refused to look at Theo. You fixed your attention on the other side of the room and didn’t budge. “Hello? What’s wrong?” Theo asked you.

“I’m fucking pissed at you. That’s what’s wrong.” You snapped at him. Theo looked genuinely shocked by your response. “You’re mad because I…got you a date?” He asked, confused.

You rolled your eyes, running a hand through your hair. “No, I’m mad because you ambushed me. You didn’t ask if I was interested, and I couldn’t have said no because he was already here.” You ranted. Theo was trying to reason with you, but all the stress from hiding your feelings for Henry was bubbling up.

“I was just trying to be helpful. I just want you to be happy.” Theo told you. You believed him, and you knew he had good intentions, but sometimes his execution was shit. “Maybe I already am happy. Maybe I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean I have to. I mean, I get enough of this shit from mom. I don’t need it from you too.” You said, standing up from the table and walking away.

You started walking towards the lobby again. You walked past the bar, and Sarah and Henry saw that you were fuming. “I’m gonna go check on her. Can you get me a drink?” Henry asked Mia, to which she quickly nodded.

Henry followed you into the lobby. “Hey, wait up. It’s me.” He called after you. You stopped when you recognized his voice. You turned around to face him and a few tears rolled down your cheeks.

“Talk to me,” Henry said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a hug. You hated how safe you felt with him. You wrapped your arms around him, holding onto him like it would make your problems go away. “I am so fucking pissed at Theo for this, and this has all been so much recently. I’ve just fucking had it.” You rambled.

Henry rubbed your back as you ranted to him. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to complain so much. I mean, you’re going through this too, and I haven’t heard you complain once.” You apologized.

Henry took your hand and pulled you over to one of the benches against the wall. He sat down next to you. “You’re allowed to complain all you want. This fucking sucks. And trust me, I am just as upset as you are.” He comforted you, moving a strand of your hair behind your ear. You never felt alone when you were with Henry.

“You’re such a good listener. You should be my therapist. God knows I’m gonna need one after tonight,” you joked, laughing as you wiped another tear off your cheek.

“I hate seeing you cry.” Henry said, grabbing one of your hands in his. He ran his thumb over the back of your hand.

You saw a flash of doubt in Henry’s eyes for a split second, and then he cupped your face with his free hand. Then, he slowly leaned in to kiss you. It wasn’t like any of the other times you’d kissed Henry. Normally, it was heat of the moment and rushed. This was different. It was slow and sweet.

You leaned into the kiss. Butterflies swirled around inside you. You interlaced your fingers with Henry’s. It was magical.

Henry could feel you smile against the kiss. For a second, his feelings for you were simple. In that moment, he didn’t care about anything else, especially Theo. He just wanted you.

“Hey, Theo said you ran off. I wanted to come check on you.” Todd said, bursting into the room before realizing what was going on.

You and Henry froze. You half expected Henry to jump away from you. He didn’t. He let his hand rest on your waist. “I’m sorry. We really had no idea Theo was going to set us up. Theo doesn’t know about this. Please, don’t tell him.” You apologized.

Todd nodded and left you both alone.

Henry quickly stood up. “I need to go talk to Mia.” He said.

“That’s your first reaction after kissing me?” You asked him, half teasing.

“I need to tell her that there is somebody else who makes me very happy. I don’t want to lead her on when I am one thousand percent crazy about you.” He said, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“What do we do about Theo?” You asked him.

“I think we should talk to him and see how he reacts. There’s so much stuff going on with the wedding in three weeks, but I think we should talk to him after the wedding. I know that’s still a while from now, but I don’t want him to be stressed about the wedding when we talk to him.” He suggested.

You pulled him in for a hug. “I’m going to go hang out with Sarah. I’m not really in the mood to talk to Theo yet. But we’ll talk soon, okay?” You told him. He nodded and smiled before you left.

Then, Henry went to find Mia. “Hey, can we talk?” He asked her. She quickly nodded.

“I had no idea that Theo and Sarah were setting us up today. I don’t want to lead you on, and there’s this girl. I mean, it’s complicated, but it wouldn’t be fair to lie to you. Theo doesn’t know anything about it though.” He explained.

“Thank you for telling me. I really appreciate your honesty. And I totally understand why you’d be nervous to tell Theo.” She told Henry. Henry furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait, I’m sorry. What do you mean?” He asked her, curiously.

“Because she’s his sister,” Mia told Henry, as though it was clear as day.

Henry chuckled to himself. “I didn’t realize it was so obvious.” He admitted. Mia shyly nodded her head. “It’s just the way you look at her,” she told him.

They wrapped up their conversation, and Henry went back into the lobby to think. He wanted to seem confident and hopeful in front of you when talking about telling Theo, but Henry was terrified. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin his relationship with his best friend or ruin yours and Theo’s relationship.

The stress had really gotten to Henry over the past few weeks. He felt his eyes start to water from the pure stress and anxiety. He had no one to talk about these things with except you, and he wanted to be strong for you.

Theo walked into the lobby, startling Henry. “You mad at me too? My sister's pissed, and judging by the way Mia and Todd are making out, I’m assuming neither of you were interested in your dates.” Theo said.

Henry shook his head. “I’m not mad at you. Slightly irritated, but not mad. But, I couldn’t date Mia, Theo.” He told him.

Theo noticed the emotion in Henry’s face. “Hey, man, are you alright?” Theo asked, concerned. Henry just shook his head. “There’s this girl. And god, I want to be with her. I think about her all the time, and it fucking sucks because I know how amazing we could be together, but it can’t happen. All I really want to do is take her on a date.” Henry explained, wiping his eyes quickly and faking a smile.

Theo put his hand on Henry’s back. “No one can really stop you though. You should go be with this girl if she makes you happy. Don’t let anything stand in your way.” Theo assured Henry. Henry chuckled to himself at the irony. He knew Theo would have a very different sentiment if he knew the girl was his sister.

“It’s just way too complicated. You have no idea.” Henry told him.

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#brothersbestfriend!henry cavill x reader #brothersbestfriend!henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill #henry cavill series #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fic #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction

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neiptune · 1 year ago

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always for the first time

c/w: 1.2k wc, reader is deep in her head, gojo is stupidly in love & wants nothing more than to be the best boyfriend on planet earth, sickeningly sweet, disgustingly self indulgent, inspired by andré breton's poem, wrote this in like 10 minutes, reader discretion advised: you'll drown in fluff

Life has been brutal in teaching Satoru the consequences of not picking up on things in time and with that now comes the anxiety of missing out on hints, small details, imperceptible signals.

He is a good learner, although he wasn’t ready for what you had in store for him. He can be too much, always has been too much, people have told him. Too strong, too loud, too obnoxious, too dumb. He didn’t know how to juggle his worst traits and keep them under control around you, has never wanted not to scare someone away so bad.

Satoru is also, and most importantly, a keen observer.

He has to be, not only to watch his back every now and again but also to pick up on more subtle things that could escape a less trained eye. You are one of those things.

He has studied you, mapped out every twitch of your lips or crease between eyebrows, he has memorized the heaviness of your sighs and which limits it’s best not to push. He knows you need your space and that some people don’t appreciate how overwhelming his interest in them can be. Because what if his insistence ends up crushing them? What if he cares so much you eventually drift away?

So Satoru knows when to keep quiet, when to leave you be or wrap his arms around your waist to bury a gentle kiss in your hair. You have taught him that he doesn’t have to prove his presence all the time, a broken record of I’m here, don’t you know that I’m here for you?

You know. His presence is embedded in every aspect of your life, in every soft thought crossing your mind. He’s there when he lies on top of you in bed, infinity turned off for good measure, cheek pressed to your stomach and arms wrapped around your frame in a petulant attempt to convince you to stay five more minutes. He’s there when he gets back early from a mission and you come home to the tall, familiar figure making a mess of your kitchen. I had half an hour to spare and I thought you’d like soup.

Satoru sees the flow of individual atoms that make you, you. Which means that he knows when you’re in pain, feels your sadness creeping up into his very bones, only experiences true fear the first time you bury your face into his chest and your body shakes in his arms, consumed by the terror of not seeing him again. Satoru is not scared because he thinks the thought of something happening to him is even remotely rational, it’s the thought of leaving you without him for a second too long that petrifies him.

He’s there when he looks at you and sees everything there’s to see, the good and so much of the bad. Satoru has eyes that grant him extraordinary perception and cause a constant, exhausting influx of information. But he can now see you as well as he sees cursed energy: the flux of excitement, sadness, rage or embarrassment. He sees how big your heart is and yet deems it not nearly large enough to contain the love you have for him and for others, threatening to bubble over at all times.

He sees your shame and insecurities and how desperately you attempt to keep those from him. Sometimes he forces himself to respect it, other times it’s hard not to at least attempt to work his charm.

You could get mad but he can’t risk skipping the chance of reminding you once more that he’s there. Just in case. He’s there.

“What’s up?” he asks nonchalantly, nose still buried in that book you couldn’t stop talking about for an entire week.

“Nothing’s up. If something was up, you’d know first” your grin is charming although a little forced and when you go back to the cooking show you’re watching on television, Satoru lets a few seconds pass.

“I think something’s up”

You sigh. He’s not even looking at you but you feel the wary concern vibrating in his voice.

“I’m okay” your own pitch gets softer, a gentle reminder that there’s nothing to really worry about. It’s just that your mind can get very loud at times, but that’s not to become another one of his battles. He has enough of those already.

But that’s when he puts the novel down, a bunch of dried lavender twigs used as a makeshift bookmark.

“I can see that” he knows the punchline will always make you roll your eyes with fondness, especially if he has his blindfold on “your limbs are still attached, your hair looks pretty, skin is fairly hydrated” you huff out a laugh as he crawls over you only to slump his long, inconveniently heavy body on top of yours.

“But something’s wrong” he whispers it into your skin, hopes that it’s easier to get you to open up if you can’t see him and think he can see less of you. His lips are pressed to your neck and snowy hair tickles your chin, so you attempt to comb some of it back with a light scoff.

“You currently obstructing my airways?”

He lightly pinches your side and you squirm underneath his weight with an airy giggle.

“Stop doing that”

“Doing what?” you flick his forehead but he doesn’t even flinch.

“Deflecting. Something’s wrong, I can feel it”

Satoru wishes he didn’t sound every bit as pathetic as he did. But he’s made peace with the fact that this is what love does to him a long time ago. He’s in love, and pathetic, and simply prays it’s one of the times he’s lucky enough you’ll give him the green light to make a breach in the walls.

“You can feel it?” you muse “what are you, obsessed with me or somethin’?”

“I am” he lightly nips at your jaw and draws a gasp “what a stupid question”

As obsessed as an invincible man can be, one that spends each day hoping he’ll be allowed to gain yet another victory over the ache throbbing in your ribcage. What good is being the strongest if he’s barely allowed to shield you from yourself?

“I’m just tired” you articulate the words slowly, attentively, and your heart swells in your chest when he instantly stills his movements “it’s a tiring day. I’ll be fine”

And Gojo hums against the warmth of your skin, tightens his arms around you. Of course you’ll be fine, he’ll be there to make sure you will be. Not that you need him to fight your battles, you never needed him in the first place.

“Thank you” for making this one of the moments I’m allowed to climb over those walls, even if just to take a small peek.

“You’re so silly” you smile and don’t even understand how the hell someone could get so lucky.

“S’why you love me”

“Wrong, I love you because of your pretty face and remarkable abs”

“I’m more than a nice piece of ass, y’know?”

Another silent laugh fills the air, now lighter, and you can already feel his smile as you gently pull his blindfold down. Satoru lets you, lifts his face to make your job a little easier and when his eyes slowly flutter open there’s nothing but sincere adoration swirling in them. There’s trust, and love, and you can’t help but force them shut again as you gently press your lips to both his eyeslids.

To tell him that you love him with just as much fierceness, with every fragment of your flawed, human body.

To thank him for seeing you with such earth shattering clarity, always for the first time.

#gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #jjk x reader #please be nice it's only my second time writing fully for him #and I must confess angst gets me going more than fluff #anyways #I'd love feedback!!

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girlkisser13 · 5 months ago

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emily i’m sorry

"emily, forgive me, can we" "make it up as we go along?" "i'm twenty-seven and i don't know who i am" "but i know what i want"

pairings: emily prentiss x fem!reader

warnings/tags: angst with a bit of fluff at the end.

summary: you and emily find your way to each other.

returning to quantico was like stepping into a time capsule. the bau had always been a place of intensity, where minds were stretched to their limits and where you had once spent countless hours. but this time, walking through those familiar halls, you felt a different kind of pressure— the weight of seeing emily again after so many years apart.

the past had a way of creeping up on you, especially in a place like this, where every corner held memories. you had loved emily once, more than you thought possible. but in your pursuit of a career that demanded everything, you had made the impossible decision to walk away. it was mutual, or at least that’s what you both said at the time. there were no harsh words, no accusations— just two people who had to part ways for the sake of their futures.

yet standing here now, you couldn’t help but question that choice.

as you made your way into the bullpen, you were greeted by the team— a group of people you knew by reputation but had never worked with before. penelope garcia was the first to spot you, her eyes lighting up as she made her way over.

"you must be the new liaison!" she exclaimed, her voice as bright as her personality. "i’m penelope garcia, resident genius, and lover of all things tech."

you smiled, accepting the warm handshake. "y/n l/n, nice to meet you, garcia."

"please, call me penelope. we’re all friends here," she said with a wink before turning to the rest of the team. "everyone, meet our new liaison."

you exchanged handshakes and introductions with david rossi, spencer reid, aaron hotchner, and derek morgan. they were all friendly, professional, and welcoming. none of them knew your history with emily, and you weren’t sure if that made things easier or harder.

"prentiss is in her office," rossi mentioned, almost casually. "she’s probably buried in paperwork."

you nodded, trying to keep your expression neutral. "i’ll go introduce myself."

the walk to emily’s office felt longer than it should have, each step heavy with anticipation. you took a deep breath before knocking on the door, trying to steady your nerves.

"come in," came emily’s voice, slightly muffled by the door.

you pushed the door open and stepped inside, your heart skipping a beat as your eyes met hers. emily looked almost exactly as you remembered— poised, strong, with that keen, intelligent gaze that had always drawn you in. but when she saw you, her eyes widened in shock, and she froze, the file she was holding slipping from her fingers and landing on the desk.

"y/n?" her voice was soft, almost disbelieving.

"hey, emily," you said, your voice betraying a hint of the nervousness you felt. "it’s been a while."

she stared at you for a moment, as if trying to convince herself that you were really there. finally, she found her voice. "i didn’t know you were coming back."

"i’m the new liaison,” you explained, stepping further into the office. "i just met the team."

emily blinked, clearly trying to process this new information. "you’re taking jj’s position?"

"yeah," you confirmed. "it feels right. like coming home, in a way."

a long, tense silence stretched between you. the last time you had seen emily, you both had agreed to part ways. you needed to focus on your career, and she had understood. but standing here now, all those old feelings resurfaced, and you realized how much you had missed her.

"i didn’t think i’d see you again," emily finally said, her voice low and laced with emotion.

"neither did i," you admitted. "but life has a funny way of bringing you back to the things you thought you’d left behind."

emily studied you, her expression unreadable. "why did you come back?"

her question was simple, but it hit you like a ton of bricks. you had thought about this moment, about what you would say if you ever saw her again. now that it was here, the words felt heavy in your mouth.

"emily, i’m sorry," you began, your voice cracking slightly. "when we broke up, i thought i was doing the right thing. i thought i needed to focus on my career, and i convinced myself that it was for the best."

she listened, her eyes never leaving yours, but she didn’t say anything.

"i thought i was making the right choice," you continued, your voice filled with regret. "but after all this time, after everything i’ve done, i still don’t know who i am. the only thing i’m sure of is that i still love you. i never stopped."

emily looked down, her expression softening. "you left," she whispered, her voice carrying a weight of hurt. "you chose your career over us."

"i know," you replied, feeling a lump form in your throat. "and i'm sorry for that, more than you can imagine. i thought i was making the right choice, but i was wrong. i've spent all this time trying to figure out who i am, but the only thing i'm sure of is that i still love you."

her breath hitched slightly, and she finally looked up at you, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "you broke my heart, y/n," she said, her voice trembling.

"i know," you whispered, taking a cautious step closer. "and i’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you, if you’ll let me."

for a long moment, emily just looked at you, as if weighing your words. then, slowly, she stepped forward and pulled you into a tight embrace. the warmth of her arms around you, the familiar scent of her hair, it all came rushing back, and you held her close, never wanting to let go.

"i missed you," she murmured against your shoulder, her voice thick with emotion.

"i missed you too," you whispered back, relief flooding through you. "i’m not going anywhere this time, emily. i promise."

she pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. there was a hint of a smile on her lips, a glimmer of hope in her gaze.

"maybe we could… start over?" she suggested tentatively.

you smiled, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years. "i’d like that."

as you stood there, holding each other, you knew that this was where you were meant to be. not just in the bau, but with emily, in her arms, where you’d always belonged.

and this time, you weren’t going to let her go.

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doctor-dusk · 8 months ago

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𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢'𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

you decide to surprise your boyfriend (late sias!alex) on valentine's day.

warnings: oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (piv), veeery sub!al (but then after comes dom!al cuz i don't know how to write sub lol), a bit of aftercare :3

word count: 5.7k

celebrating the baby recents in nyc i'm going crazy that man's just….... *chef's kiss*

the bed felt cold that morning for alex, not just because the thermometers were reading low temperatures, but because you weren't there beside him to warm his body when he woke up. which was kinda weird.

‘’it’s not possible that she left so early today.’’, he thought while still staring at the empty side of the bed before raising his head. he smelled your perfume in the room, albeit faintly, narrowing his gaze at the half-open bathroom door in the hope that you would get out of there, even though he knew that wouldn't happen.

especially because it was valentine's day. alex wanted to wake up, look at you and your messy hair, your sleepy face, wake you up with a million kisses all over your face, then ask what you would like to eat for breakfast.

he looked at the digital clock on his cell phone, seeing that there were still ten minutes until 8am. you usually never leave for work so early, and alex really hoped you could curl up with him in bed for a few more minutes until you ran the risk of arriving late at the office.

in addition to the time, he saw a message that you sent to him twenty minutes ago informing him that you needed to go to work early that day and that you had left the breakfast table set for him in the kitchen in case he wanted to eat something.

but alex wasn't feeling as hungry as he would have liked, limiting himself to taking some sips of black coffee as he got ready to go to the studio.

as much as he wanted to focus on the demands during the recording process, his mind was stuck on the idea that it was strange that you hadn't sent him anything other than a text all morning. he thought he could ask you to have lunch together at any nearby restaurant, even if it was for fifteen minutes.

his hand reached his phone on his pocket, the wallpaper was a photo of you that he took during your annual skiing vacation in the austrian alps.

‘’hi.’’ you answered his call on the third ring. alex was surprised by the way you answered. in fact, everything seemed too strange for him now.

‘’hey... are you busy?’’ he said after a few seconds, speaking softly more so as not to let his friend hear him than to not disturb him.

‘’yeah, why?’’ you asked quickly, getting irritated by a document that was not scanned well, which made you curse under your breath.

‘’nothing, i… i thought we could have lunch together in a little while.’’ alex replied, nibbling on the cap of the pen he had in his hand, pretending to be focused on the computer screen, but in reality it only made him more anxious.

‘’i can’t, alex.’’ you answered him almost immediately, making him bite the pen cap harder.

‘’c’mon, just fifteen minutes. i didn't even saw you get out of bed this mornin’, y/n.’’ he replied, trying to not show his frustration through his voice.

‘’i already i can’t, turner. i’m really busy, there's no chance of leaving here now.’’ you replied in the same tone to him, making him sigh and remain silent. alex thought about asking you why you were like this, but he thought it could just be the stress consuming you day after day, you have great responsibilities in your department that sometimes keep you up at night. ‘’are you going to say anything else or can i hang up?’’

‘’no, i have nothing more to say.’’ alex replied shortly, not hiding the frustration in his voice.

‘’fine, i'll see you at home.’’ you replied and then hung up, not expecting him to answer you back.

turner threw his cell phone onto the table, letting out a heavy sigh as he tried to relax his tense shoulders as he adjusted his posture in the chair. he didn't know if he had done something wrong to you the day before or even before that, because everything seemed to be fine with him. or not.

did he forget to take out the trash yesterday? did he not compliment the color of the nail polish on your nails? is he spending too much time in the studio?

after all, he was a man and men can be stupid when it comes to women's feelings. but you didn't have any communication problems, at least not that he knew about.

“tough valentine's day, huh?” he heard matthew comment next to him, his eyes never left his cell phone screen, but his ears were certainly very sharp to the conversation next to him.

alex didn't answer him, preferring to immerse himself in any recording demands and not stress about the idea that you were acting weird with him for no reason.

and well, he failed the mission miserably.

what alex hadn't really stopped to think about for a second was that this was all a plan so that you could leave work early and get to your apartment first to surprise him.

and of course, you knew that alex would probably arrive a little after 8pm due to the chaotic traffic, or even later because he would probably be too upset to not want to get home early, so you knew you needed to be quick, tidying and organizing the entire apartment, and of course, preparing his favourite pasta, as well as the quick strawberry cheesecake for dessert. you just hoped you hadn't angered alex enough to make him not even want to look at your face at the end of the day.

it was past 10pm, you were finishing lighting the last candle placed on the dinner table when you heard the sound of the password being entered into the digital lock outside, indicating that alexander had just arrived. you directed your gaze to the door at the exact moment you saw him enter, one of his hands was wrapped around the suitcase handle and the other was trying to close the door behind him.

turner was too distracted to notice that everything was dark until he smelled tangerine and pink mango in the room, as well as some rose petals that trailed a small path through the hallway. he stopped, looking ahead and seeing you standing next to the perfectly set table for dinner.

he wasn't staring at you for too long without saying anything just because he was trying to understand what was happening, but because you were wearing a red dress with shoulder-to-shoulder straps, leaving the collarbone exposed and the skirt with a slit that began just above your left knee. he felt disoriented for a few seconds to the point where he even forgot that he was upset with you.

“what is that?” he asked, letting his shoulders relax as you approached subtly, letting him see how your makeup was light, but at the same time striking due to the red lipstick pigmenting your lips.

“what does that look like?” you chuckled, taking the suitcase from his hand and placing it against the wall close to the door, then wrapping your arms around his neck. turner looked once again at the dining table, the smell of gorgonzola cheese sauce mixed a little with the aroma of the candles, not that it bothered him.

“thought you were mad at me. i spent the whole fuckin’ day reviewing my sins to find out what i did or didn't do.” he squinted at you, seeing you laugh comically, and then he couldn't help but smile too. “it was all a plan, eh? i should ‘ave suspected.”

“you're still the smartest and dumbest man i know, honey.” you quipped, sliding the tip of your index finger along his chin, lowering it a little so you could give him a kiss that probably left his mouth stained with lipstick. not that he cared about that. “c’mon, i made this recipe in record time and i want to know if you will like it.” you said, taking his hand and making him sit in the chair at one end of the four-seater table and you sat in the chair on the other side.

there wasn't a moment when you both weren't laughing, or talking about the food, or planning what you were going to do the next day. alex felt mesmerized by you, as if you were always able to make him fall in love with you every day, or in every act like smiling at him and asking him why he had that silly expression on his face when you get up from your chair, walking around the table to hug him, taking the opportunity to sit on his lap, feeling him hug you with one arm while the other remained over your partially bare leg.

soon, you were laughing loudly with your minds connected, your face was red from laughing so much, and alex was trying not to choke on taking another sip of wine, as he was now laughing more at your laugh than at the conversation itself. he loved those moments where he lost himself in the feeling of laughing until his stomach hurt, or just enjoying your laughing face as you tried to stop laughing.

‘’oh, baby, i love you so much…’’ alexander murmured, kissing your rosy cheek, dragging the kiss a little longer until he reached your parted lips, giving you a long open mouthed kiss as you felt him playing with the slit of your dress, his hand moved a little further to feel the warmth of the skin on your thigh.

‘’not more than me.’’ you replied, kissing him again, feeling him smile between the kiss, biting your bottom lip.

‘’why not? i didn't knew this was a competition.’’ he drawled his voice, feeling you caress the back of his neck, giving him goosebumps slightly. you pretended to think for a while, nibbling your lip gently.

‘’cause i have something to show you.” you whispered as if it were a secret, holding his hand so that you could now leave the small room between the kitchen and the living room, crossing the hallway a little further until you reached the bedroom.

turner wasn't too surprised to see the bed littered with rose petals and more scented candles on the nightstands. the dim lights from the candles along with the city lights that invaded the room through the half-open curtain only added an even more romantic touch to the occasion.

in fact, what really surprised him was a chair in front of the bed, which apparently had no use until he realized he was going to sit there when you pushed his shoulders down, making him sit down. his curiosity and excitement were already at an all-time high as he looked at you and wondered what was going through your devilish mind.

he didn't dare say anything as anticipation pounded his chest, watching your every move as you went to the portable speaker connected via bluetooth to your cell phone, double-clicking on the cell phone's screen only to make the first rings of the selected song start to echo in a considerable volume.

you shook your head gently, closing your eyes to feel the music a little and let you body adapt to a rhythm, your closed mouth hummed the melody, your hands slid across the silky fabric of your dress, as if you were in your own world and for a moment, forgetting that alex watched your every act without blinking, thinking that he was incapable of missing something, especially the mischievous way you smiled at him when you opened your eyes and watched him.

‘’i really tried to be a little more creative this year, ya’ know?’’ you said, forming a hook with your two index fingers to pull the straps of the dress, and then the fingers of one of your hands quickly wrapped around the zipper, just to lower it enough to let the piece of clothing run like water down your body. ‘’you're a little hard to please, turner.’’

‘’oh, honey, i’m happy with literally anything you can give me. especially this.’’ alexander replied, opening his legs a little and leaving his body a little more relaxed in the chair, feeling uneasy with his girlfriend's figure in just lingerie in front of him. you were always able to leave him speechless. ‘’this lingerie is new, isn't it?’’ he asked, paying attention to every detail of those intimate pieces, his fertile imagination just formulating the image of those panties and bra thrown in some corner of the room while he was too busy touching and feeling every inch of your body.

‘’did you like it? i bought it just so you could take it off.’’ you smiled, turning around so that turner could lose himself once again in your curves, in the skin that seemed to glow in the candlelight, and, while he would love to continue having this privileged view, he couldn't wait to do what his mind already formulated.

you allowed yourself to get a little closer to him in rhythm with the music, each touch seemed to send him a certain type of stimulation, and alex was loving every second of it, feeling his chest rise and fall restlessly amidst his heavy breathing, watching you spreading your legs so that you could sit perfectly on his lap.

‘’look at you…’’ you murmured, slowly tilting your head to capture every little feature of his face, feeling that his eager hands were already trailing a small path from your knees to your thighs. ‘’you seem so desperate.’’

‘’i am.’’ alex responded almost immediately, feeling your lips press against his neck as you tilted your head a little more, taking in his scent, feeling it invading your nostrils like a summer breeze. alex let his hand go up a little more to hold your hair, taking it off of your shoulder to leave the area free so he could give you a simple kiss, but it was certainly capable of making you shiver completely. ‘’i need you so much, baby…’’ turner dragged his voice into your ear, letting his hand gripping the back of your head as he felt you smile into his neck.

‘’oh, but i'm not finished yet, love.’’ you tutted, moving your hands up to his shirt, and then your mouth took his in a deep and passionate kiss. alex felt the urgency to help you get rid of the shirt as soon as possible, now enjoying the sensation of your nails scraping the skin of his chest from top to bottom, the skin boiling with the desire that consumed him more and more. he loved the touches, the way you handled everything and made him more aroused to the point where he felt like he would explode just with these small acts.

the kiss didn't last long, as soon alex was enjoying the sight of you slowly flexing your knees to lower yourself in front of him as you got off his lap. normally, you were always quick to get rid of his undergarments, but at that moment, you absolutely loved to take advantage of the slowness, just to increase alex's anxiety a little more to the point of realizing that he felt goosebumps and was holding back a few curse words due to your slowness in just lower the zipper of his pants.

‘’you're very…’’ he murmured, holding his tongue between his teeth and letting his mouth contort into a crooked smile. he didn't want to act like he was practically dying from it, even though you knew that very well. it was clear to you how desperate he was, and that only made it more fun for you.

you laughed, ceasing the torture that would probably make alex climb the walls at any moment or just lose his patience, pulling his pants down with his underwear, watching his cock pratically jump out of the confines of his underwear, painfully hard.

you licked your lips at the sight, wrapping your hand around his throbbing erection, making him let out a sigh both from the relief and the simple pleasure he felt with the slow slide of your right hand, making him shudder.

for him, that was enough to make him see stars, but of course you could improve even more by replacing your hand with your lips that were thirsty for that touch, getting a preview of his taste as the precum entered in contact with your tongue at the exact moment your slid the muscle over the tip.

you wrapped your lips around him in a deliciously pleasurable way that made him raise his hips towards you a little, thrusting into your mouth, the tip of his cock hitting your throat roughly, making you gag in response, drooling over his length.

alex closed his eyes tightly, letting his head fall back, a long moan escaped his mouth when he felt you stimulate him with your lips and hands, stroking him where your mouth couldn't reach. he felt the spasms getting stronger and stronger, letting his fist close on your hair when you took him deeper.

but of course, you needed to take breaks, letting your hands work their magic on his cock so you could look at him. his face was flushed and frowning, his mouth was half-open, letting out the moans and whispers of someone who was loving it, and his hair was messy, with some strands sticking to his forehead due to sweat.

he opened his eyes, sighing deeply as he looked down and saw you smile discreetly, pleased to see him totally vulnerable and completely out of breath. and only because of you. he felt like if you kept going for a little more he was going to cum in your mouth, even more so if your kept looking at him like that.

‘’fuck, baby, please…’’ he pleaded, moving your face away from his cock when you slid your tongue once again along the hard and pulsing length, he didn't want to finish in your mouth now. you were already so turned on at this point, so you didn't respond and didn't dare tease him anymore, using your free hand to reach for the elastic of your bra.

alexander thought you were going to get rid of the piece, but he saw the moment you took out a condom strategically hidden inside the cup of your bra. he found that to be surprisingly exciting, and even more so when you wanted to make a point of looking deep into his eyes as you brought the packaging to your mouth, tearing the plastic in a careful yet provocative way so as not to end up damaging the latex.

your touched him again briefly, always having control of everything you were doing there, from the moment you fitted the condom onto his erection, lubricated in advance by both precum and saliva, until the moment you sat on his lap again.

‘’you must be so wet right now…’’ alex murmured, his sneaky hand wandered over the fabric of your panties, noticing how soaked it felt at that point, which made him smile devilishly as he brought his mouth closer to your ear. ‘’of course you are.’’ he said, nibbling your earlobe gently, his hot breath gave you goosebumps all over, feeling him grope your back to get rid of the bra, and soon the piece was on the bedroom floor and your firm breasts were in full and total contact with his chest as the two of you began kissing again urgently.

and alex chose not to waste time, just pulling your panties to the side and making you sink down on him while your mouths were still attached, losing himself inside you and making you feel every pulsating inch invading you in one single thrust.

‘’fuck, alex…’’ you caught your lip between your teeth, arching your back a little, feeling his hand on your lower back while the other massaged one of your breasts, trapping the nipple between his index finger and thumb, giving your extra stimulation.

it didn't take long for you to place your feet on the floor, feeling alex squeeze your waist as you moved up and down, as if with each thrust you felt him even deeper, you were trying to concentrate on each stimulus and trying not to forget how to breathe. alex was also in the same state, even more so when every time he opened his eyes he was faced with the sight of you bouncing on his lap constantly, your breasts seemed to bounce like two large tennis balls as the chair was making an annoying squeaking sound.

he wasn't expecting you to use your best trick so soon when you were on top of him, so he completely lost his train of thought when he felt you rolling in his lap while he was fully inside of you and the tip of his cock was brushing on your cervix. it was slow and provocative, which made him place both hands on your waist and suck the air tightly between his teeth.

‘’that's right, love... you love doing this, don't ya’? you know how fuckin’ crazy i go when you do that.’’ alex murmured as he pulsed hard inside of you, twitching as his nails digged on your skin, which stimulated you even more, pressing your fingers on his shoulders as you’re getting more wet. ‘’such a little devil.’’ he said through his teeth, leaving a hickey on your neck that made you roll your eyes before giving a cheeky smile.

‘’i'd be lying if i said i didn't know.’’ you answered, feigning such an innocence that didn't go unnoticed by him, which made him decide that now he wanted to have control. he wanted to tease you the same way you did to him. he wanted to make you beg for more.

‘’i want to fuck you on all fours. now.’’ he said in a serious tone when your lips brushed against his. you felt the authoritarian tone from afar, and oh, how much you loved this side of alex, especially now when he’s so turned on, determined to have his way with you.

turner grabbed your thighs from below with both hands, not daring to pull out for a second, getting up from the chair and turning around only to throw you on the bed, his free hands now pulling his pants and underwear down so that he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible, kicking it out when it reached his ankles. you loved seeing his desperation, the desire sparkling in his barely blinking eyes.

‘’turn around, ass up.’’

you turned around, your body was partially lying on the bed, your breasts were slightly compressed by the mattress, while your belly and ass were a little higher, your spine was arched to the maximum. alex loved the view he had as he crawled across the bed, parting your legs a little so the angle was perfect for him.

‘’look at you…’’ alex said in a purr, imitating your speech when he saw that the roles were reversed, and obviously he wasn't going to miss the opportunity to tease you a little since you were in that position, so vulnerable and so thirsty for him. ‘’you seem so desperate.’’ he let out an ironic laugh through his nose, letting his hands slide down thighs, a naughty smile appeared on his lips when you grunted something that he didn't understand because you were so numb.

his fingers caught the elastic of your panties, sliding the underwear down to your knees and you finished taking them off in one quick act, throwing it away. he drew random patterns on the hot skin of your right buttock with his index finger, leaving a few kisses there, and then that same finger invaded your wet hole in an easy glide, making you bury your face in the sheet, breathing deeply and smelling the faint aroma of one of the countless rose petals scattered across the bed that was dangerously close to your nose.

alex took his sweet time, loving the scene of you holding his wrist while he continued moving his index finger until it reached the knuckle of his hand, and soon his middle finger slided in, doing rapid movements that made you writhe like a true acrobat in bed.

‘’oh, fuck, yes, yes!’’ you moaned, feeling a hard slap on the other buttock that he made a point of hitting with his open palm to leave the mark, the burning feeling sending tingles all over your body. you gripped his wrist, feeling his breath hitting the middle of your back, trailing a few kisses to her shoulder. ‘’you love torturing me like this, don't you?’’ you said amid another groan, turning your face a little closer to get a glimpse of him, his left hand strummed on the side of you waist as if he were playing a piano.

‘’mhmm, it's my favorite pastime, darlin’. i love hearing you moan like that for me.’’ he bit your bottom lip, sinking his two calloused fingers once again inside you only to see you roll your eyes. ‘’and i really want to fuck you now.’’ he continued, increasing the pressure a little so that he could hear you panting with each thrust, his digits massaging your spongey spot.

‘’and what are you waiting for?’’ you asked, your eyes glued to his, especially when he took his two wet fingers out of you and put them in your mouth to make you taste yourself, savoring it as if it were your favorite lollipop, licking his fingers without breaking the visual contact. you definitely knew how to wake up his demons.

still without breaking eye contact, you felt his cock slide up and down your folds in a slow provocation, you knew he still wanted to prolong the torture a little longer, he was so thirsty to hear you beg for him that he just slide the tip on your hole, pushing just a little and pulling out, sliding it back over your clit, tapping it to cause minimal friction that made you close your legs a little and clench your empty hole around nothing.

‘’fuck, don’t do that to me, love.’’ you let out a whine, moving your hips towards him a little just so you could feel him enter a little more, and then he moved back, listening to her cries.

‘’what do you want, baby? tell me.’’

‘’i want y-you.’’ you said in a whimper, trying to get a hold of his hip.

‘’you already ‘have me, sweetheart.’’ he tutted. he knew what you wanted, but he wanted you to say it.

‘’y-your cock. i want it. please, just…’’ you swallowed hard, feeling frustrated with how much you wanted him to fuck you until pass out.

‘’just what?’’

‘’fuck me, alex, just fuck me, i need-’’

he didn't let you finish your sentence, sliding inside of you in one deep thrust, making you moan loudly as you felt every inch of him filling you at once.

alex took a deep breath, both hands holding the flesh of her buttocks, keeping it spreaded as he went back and forth slowly but with the right pressure until he bottoms out. you felt the strands of his gelled hair tickling your cheek and his warm chest pressed against your back for a few seconds when he made those slow movements.

‘’al, please…’’ you whispered, so cockdrunked that you can’t even think straight. ‘’the condom. take it off.’’

‘’you sure?’’ alex asked. the condom was something rare when you had sex, but still alex always wanted to make sure you wanted to go with or without it, always respecting your wishes.

‘’y-yes, please, i want you to come inside me, please…’’ you said in a plea, you’re so desperate to feel him filling you up that you didn't care about the consequences.

alex kissed your cheek, pulling out quickly just to remove the condom of his cock, penetrating you again with such ease, hissing at the feeling of your wet and warm walls wrapping around him, making it difficult to hold on for longer.

‘’faster…’’ you said eagerly, opening your eyes again to look at him, rolling your hips around a little more when you felt him buried deep inside of you, lost in a deep devotion that he even forgot how to breathe with those thirsty eyes staring at him and his slender body, begging for greater friction as you dictated the movements that made him lose consciousness.

turner smirked, gathering a handful of your hair in his right hand, pulling with enough force to make you bend your head back, forcing you to now support the rest of your body with your arms stretched out and your hands resting on the mattress, your head fell back enough so that your sweaty forehead touched the tip of his chin.

you couldn’t stop panting and moaning like crazy when you began to feel his movements gain more speed and more pressure, making you feel his cock so hard and with such perfection that you could even say that you were feeling the veins of his cock pulsing inside of you. the sound of your sweaty bodies colliding could not be overshadowed by the music that was still playing on the speaker, nor by your loud moans, as you were no longer ashamed to show him how much you were loving every second of it.

‘’that’s it, love. scream for everyone to hear how good i'm fucking you right now.’’ alex hissed as he moved his head to the side so he could place his cheek against yours, his fist closed tighter against your hair and his other hand snuggled firmly into the skin on your waist, his movements were increasingly intense and you felt like you’re literally going to explode.

‘’holy fuck, ‘m so close, please…’’ you bit your lip as your eyeballs turned white, trying to hold on as much as you could, but it was impossible when turner was massacring you with his movements, making your legs literally wobbly to the point that you couldn't support your body on the bed, but you would never ask him to stop what he was doing.

‘’mhmm, cum for me, baby. cum on my cock while i fuck you just the way you like.’’ he ordered, placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth, feeling you clenching hard around him. he knew this was a low blow from you, but he loved the way you squeezed his cock and made him dizzy.

you joined the clenching movements with a few more rolls, now it was he who felt like he was going to explode, continuing with the movements to his limit, closing his eyes and letting a broken moan escape every now and then that was not heard due to the sound of his hips clashing against your ass that echoed throughout the room.

‘’i’m fucking close, p-please…’’ you cried, feeling a knot on your stomach.

‘’me too, darling. cum with me, c’mon.’’ he muttered, already feeling the spasms through his body.

the climax arrived for both of you at the same time, followed by racing hearts, muscles tensing more and involuntary tremors. you felt your nerve endings like little electrical circuits, dissipating shocks throughout your body as you felt him pulsing inside you, coating your walls with his hot seed.

alex had to try very hard to keep you both in the same position, wanting to prolong as much as possible the feeling of bodies vibrating in ecstasy, your insides seemed to be much more cozy with the small contractions you were still doing. he let out one last long moan followed by a deep breath before opening his eyes and coming back to reality.

‘’wow. that was fucking awesome.’’ you were the first to speak up, hearing him laugh into your neck, pulling his soft cock out of you, taking a look at his cum running down your thighs, dripping onto the bed sheets before you could lie on your side so you could regulate your breathing.

‘’i swear, you're going to kill me one day, y/n.’’ he replied, seeing you laugh amidst your flushed face and smudged lipstick. and you were still as beautiful as at the beginning of the night in that red dress and under impeccable makeup.

‘’come here.’’ you called him with you finger, seeing him drag his body a little to lie down next to you, letting his hand go around you waist as he pulled you closer, looking at you with a silly and passionate smile, fitting his face into the crook of your sweaty neck, loving the texture of your shivered skin against his face. ‘’do you like the gift? maybe i won't be able to walk properly tomorrow, but... it was from the bottom of my heart.’’

‘’i loved it, babe. it could not ‘ave been better.’’ he responded with a laugh, removing his face from your neck to look at you again, not holding back from wanting to kiss every inch of your tired and satisfied face, which had a lazy smile after such an intense sex. he held your face, squeezing your cheeks a little so that you could make a pout with your lips and he could kiss you there countless times. ‘’still owe you a gift though.’’

‘’no need to, honey. i’m totally satisfied.’’

‘’bullshit. you can't expect that the only thing i have to offer you is my cock.’’ you giggled, your face was still flushed and his thumb ghosted over your parted lips. you didn't demand anything from alex, but still, he insisted on giving you the whole world if he could.

‘’do you know what would be very good now?’’ you asked, your voice a little choked up as you were still feeling the pressure on your cheeks and his kisses on your lips. he chuckled, letting go of your face for a few seconds so you could speak normally.

“a round two?” he asked mischievously, seeing you laugh a little lazily.

“i was going to suggest a slice of cheesecake.” you replied, laughing even more when he pouted, dramatizing an expression of sadness. “but a second round is not out of my plans for tonight. and neither did a third.”

“oh, you're a thunderstorm.” he laughed, kissing you again amidst a caress and the thought that he loved you more than he could measure. “a slice of cheesecake now and as many rounds as you want later, what do you think?”

you smiled widely at him, knowing that was an offer you would never refuse as you kissed him again at the sound of yet another slow song echoing through the bedroom.

#alex turner smut #alex turner x reader #alex turner fanfic #alex turner #alex turner fluff #alex turner x y/n #alex turner x you #doctor says

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wntrs0ldier · 1 year ago

Text

AN OFFER II · 05

pairing: mob!bucky x reader words: 3,3k warnings: mafia, language, violence (graphic descriptions), minor character death, mature themes, dark themes, angst, smut, toxic behavior, blood and injury, abuse and sexual abuse, hurt/comfort,

Taking his eyes off you, Bucky turned to Sam. “Go get Clint,” he ordered, his voice — just like his stare — lacking a particular tone; it was emotionless, perhaps with a hint of cooling anger, the seed of which got there completely naturally. Then he looked at Steve, his jaw clenched again. “Get her out of here.”

series masterlist

The exhibition, crowning the last few months of your work, was going surprisingly well for something you had initially occupied yourself with just to pass the time.

It all started with Bucky’s absence and now he was there — keeping his hand on your lower back, stroking it in a comforting manner, he made you forget about all the things that could go wrong. You watched some people admiring the artwork you’ve collected, exchanged some words, shook some hands, and Bucky didn't leave your side for a second.

At some point, Tracy appeared right next to you, touching your shoulder to get your attention. “There’s a call from Connie. She couldn’t reach your phone, so she called the gallery. I put her through to your office.”

Your friend, whom you had fortunately dissuaded from the idea of using her leave to attend the exhibition, was currently enjoying her free time on a real vacation. It certainly would have been nice to have her around, but it wasn't worth it; besides, you had solid support coming from not only your husband, but also Steve, Sam and Clint.

“Thanks,” you said, and when Tracy left, you turned to Bucky to hand him your glass with the wine you haven’t had the chance to finish. “I'll be back in a few minutes. An hour tops,” you informed, smirking.

The corner of Bucky’s mouth quirked up. “Sure. Got any knives I could juggle?” He raised his eyebrows. “You know, to entertain your guests.”

You sized him up, your eyes narrowed. “Do you really know how to juggle..?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged casually. “I can show you somewhere a little more private.”

“Oh, shut up,” you laughed, smacking his shoulder.

Bucky’s mouth stretched into a much wider smile as your laugh reached his ears. “I’ll be waiting here,” he promised. Still grinning, you cupped his face and kissed him, then went to the stairs.

Having hurried into your office, you got to the phone. “Connie?” you spoke with undisguised excitement.

“Hi, babe,” Connie giggled. “How’s the exhibition? How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, the exhibition is fine…” you sighed, resting your free hand on the desktop. “I have a lot of buyers, actually. It's better than I thought.”

“Is one of those buyers your filthy rich husband?” she asked, and if she was here, right beside you, she would probably pinch you teasingly.

A bright smile came to your lips. “He’s banned from doing that, and is here only for support.”

“That’s really great,” when you heard that, you also heard her smile fade away. “I'm sorry I can't be there for you.”

“Oh, come on, Connie. We talked about this. You deserve a rest, especially from those uptight bankers.”

Connie said something else, but you got distracted by the sound of the door opening. You looked over your shoulder, and to your surprise, saw Adrian.

“Y/N? Can you hear me?”

“Uh, Connie? I’ll call you back, okay?” Without waiting for your friend's answer, you hung up the phone. “Can I help you..?” you asked flatly, turning to Adrian.

“Have you made a decision? About Paris?”

Your eyebrows rose; you secretly hoped that Adrian would eventually use his common sense, and as a result, realize how ridiculous the idea was. “I told you already. I can’t come to Paris with you.”

In a moment of weakness it crossed your mind that, perhaps, you should agree for the sake of the gallery. But Bucky was right — you couldn't sell Adrian your time; not when he was pushing the limits that way, treating you like an object he could do whatever he liked with.

“You are making a mistake. Big mistake,” he stated slowly, and just as slowly covered the space between the door and the desk.

You understood that you were just a woman — a fragile, weak woman, left alone with an offended man; the only thing in that room more fragile than you was only Adrian's pride. And yet, when he approached you, you didn't even flinch, didn’t take your stern gaze off him.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” he questioned, giving you the last chance to change your mind. “Are you sure what you are doing? You are rejecting the opportunity of a lifetime. And it will cost you a lot. Can you afford it?”

He grabbed your forearm rapidly. Twisting it, turning your body, stiff and paralyzed with sudden panic, he pushed you, then pressed against the desk. The moment you collided with the hard surface, the air abruptly spilled out of your lungs, leaving you breathless, and the hit your chin took from crashing onto the desktop cut your bottom lip open; the rusty taste of blood settled on your tongue.

One of Adrian's hands, which had wrapped around your forearm earlier, moved to the nape of your neck and pressed your torso down to the glass surface; his legs pinned your thighs to the edge, at the same time opening them for easier access. His other hand struggled with the fabric of your dress until it finally gave in and chose to betray you with a deep rip on the side.

“Adrian,” you grated, your breath heavy as you unsuccessfully tried to fight back, “get the fuck off me.”

“Stand still, bitch,” he hissed, pressing your body even harder. You were losing your breath again, since your chest didn't have enough room. “And shut up.”

Struck by the sudden return of panic spreading at an alarming speed, you became numb when Adrian lifted your dress. His sickeningly cold and wet hands, touching your skin directly, without any additional layers protecting your body, turned your stomach sick.

Until that moment, you were clinging to the hope that you could get out of it, or that Adrian would come to his senses. But now, it didn't appear that either of those things were going to happen; Adrian was going to get his way, he was going to take something from you, to break you.

Despite the shock of realizing what your fate would be, you swept your hand over the desktop to scan the area. In the process, you knocked down the phone, which Adrian considered to be continued attempts to fight, and eventually found something that, judging by its shape, was a stapler — an useless tool. A moment later, your hand felt something thin and oblong. A pen. Without much thought, you clenched it tightly in your palm and, pushed by adrenaline, blindly slammed your weapon into whatever happened to be behind you. All you knew was that it went in deep.

Adrian let out a loud, inhuman noise. The pressure of his hold loosened enough that you were able to break free. You darted to the door, and when you opened it, you ran into Bucky standing on the other side, clashing with his body. With your heart beating painfully fast, you lifted your gaze to him — your eyes still carried terror and distress, but there was a little room for relief as well.

In Bucky's case, it was different. With his forehead creased and his lips parted in devastation at what he had in front of him, he examined you closely — the ripped dress, the broken shoulder strap, the cut lip. His mouth snapped shut in a hard line, his jaw clenched so tightly that you could easily see that familiar twitch below his cheekbone, his nostrils flared. And although just a moment ago his eyes expressed so much — helplessness, fear, disbelief, disappointment — in a split second they became cold, dead. They passed you, as if you weren’t there anymore, and switched to Adrian.

Adrian looked around in a frantic search for an escape route, but the only exit from the office was blocked by you and Bucky.

Having placed his hands on your arms, Bucky moved you carefully to the side, then made his way to Adrian. You immediately looked over your shoulder, and the rest of your body followed.

“Hey, man, let’s talk-”

Bucky rammed into Adrian, and the kick that reached his stomach was charged with force so powerful that the man crashed into the cabinet standing against the wall. There was glass splattered everywhere — it came from the cabinet door, and from broken bottles; a few pieces cut Adrian's skin harmlessly, although it would have been better for him if one had killed him instantly. Bucky didn't wait for his target's reaction; he got on top of him, and, heedless of protests, pleas or pathetic screams, punched him in his face. Again, and again, and again.

“Stop. Please, don’t-” Adrian managed to choke out. He tried to defend himself, but was unable to block Bucky's blows, driven by tremendous power and speed. “I can pay you! I can pay you a-”

To Bucky, his words meant nothing, his money worth nothing. What really mattered to him — what kept replaying in his head, boiling the blood in his veins, steering him to the only possible ending — was the fact that some man, no matter who he was or how much he had to offer, hurt his wife. He touched her. He touched in a way that made her too terrified to even cry.

With each repeated punch, a little blood sprinkled out — Lancy spit and choked with it, coughing and screaming, but Bucky still didn't pay the slightest attention to it; he stopped feeling his own hand — the pain spread through his metacarpus at first, but that soon went numb — instead, he felt Adrian's bones break and crumble under his fist; he felt his nose snapping, his jaw cracking, his cheekbones collapsing. He felt only that; no shame, no regret, no remorse. Why should he, when none of these things were shown to you?

Bucky did what he had to do — he beat the life out of Adrian Lancy with his bare hands. But to Bucky, he was no Adrian, no young investor with a bright future. He was a scumbag that attacked his wife and before that, put her on a short leash.

Breathing hard and slowly, Bucky stood up. For another brief moment he stared at the lifeless body, feeling a little less disgust. Despite the fact that instead of his face, Adrian now had a bloody, still steaming hole, he no longer evoked such disgust in Bucky.

He turned around. Blood covered his hands, especially the right one; crimson specks now decorated his face and his white shirt. You didn't feel the slightest need to run away, and if any shiver ran through your body, it was a shiver of admiration, of delight.

You didn't know when exactly, but at some point Steve and Sam showed up; Steve stood right next to you, Sam stayed somewhere behind your back.

You've lost track of time; you haven't checked it once since you and Bucky separated. Staring stubbornly, and without any purpose, at the darkness outside the bedroom window, you stood frozen, numb, wearing his t-shirt, that wrapped around you like a safe embrace.

Your skin was still aching from the almost burning water and excessive rubbing — you tried to deeply wash off Adrian’s scent and touch, but you could’ve sworn you still felt him. His smell — unpleasantly strong, hitting your nostrils aggressively — lingered in the air, and his hands, cold, sweaty, driven by evil intentions, remained on your body. A repulsive tingling plagued the places where he touched you, making you sick.

The door opened carefully, letting in some warm light from the corridor. You turned away from the window; Bucky entered the room, and then, keeping his eyes on you, came closer with a cautious step. And this time he scrutinized your figure intently.

In contrast to his shirt, there was no trace of blood on his face or hands. He washed it away along with the memory of that man, so it wouldn't clutter his mind. Instead, he knew that he would never forget that he had failed you; that he should have protected you better.

Without any words, you started unbuttoning his shirt; your fingers worked quickly and smoothly — you, too, wanted as soon as possible to get away from everything that reminded you of the events of a few hours earlier. When you were done, and the shirt tails opened, showing Bucky's tensed stomach muscles, you cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss. By instinct, he placed his hands on your hips and pressed his body against yours, his tongue slid into your mouth, and despite your lip stinging, you eagerly accepted it, meeting it with yours. You already knew the way you could wash Adrian off you.

Bucky bent his knees to lower himself a bit; he moved his hands under your ass to lift you, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist. He walked to the bed and sat down; Bucky, as well, was fully aware of what you needed.

He laid down, pulling you with him — without breaking away from his lips, relishing the taste of the man who had done something so thrilling for you, to the point of intoxication, you began rubbing against his crotch. Both of you breathed heavily into each other's mouths as your core, now wet and throbbing with desire, grinded on Bucky's bulge. But it wasn't enough — you needed him inside you, immediately.

You backed away just enough to be able to unzip his pants. He raised his hips, lifting you along with them, in order to slip his pants lower. At that moment, neither of you thought about taking the time to remove all your clothes; it was only about gratification, about forgetting, about pleasure.

You rose, wrapped your hand around his engorged cock and guided it to your entrance, then sank down on it slowly, a quiet, breathy moan leaving your lips. At first, Bucky looked at you with concentration, as if making sure you could handle it without his help, and when he got the proof, he relaxed slightly. Feeling your pussy swallow more and more of his cock, he groaned, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, but soon returned his gaze to you. He had to — there was nothing that could draw him away from the pleasure of watching you.

You grabbed the ends of the t-shirt you were wearing and stripped it off. Seeing your body almost in all its glory, feeling it on his own, Bucky pressed his lips together, the devotion and worship visible in his stare only deepened.

Now, it was you who had the control you so badly needed to regain; you needed to regain yourself, and that's what seemed to be the best way to do it. Bucky's dick was plunging into you with your every move, penetrating you, hitting that sweet spot just right, but it was you who was fucking him. The bliss overpowered you enough that, forgetting the previous damage, you sank your teeth into your bottom lip. Bucky kept looking at you — your face overtaken by delight, your body moving up and down, the way you were riding him flawlessly — and the view alone would have been enough to make him cum.

Lifting his torso off the mattress, Bucky sat up. Your back arched as you propped your hands somewhere behind, your hips rolling in circles. Bucky slid his tongue between your breasts up to your neck, leaving a wet trail on your skin. With his hand supporting the back of your head, his mouth traveled all over your face and jaw, dropping sloppy kisses.

Sensing some weakness creeping into the dynamic you had set up, Bucky returned on the mattress, taking you with him. And you let him, knowing it would be worth it.

“Take my hand,” he whispered between heavy gasps. You followed his request without a second thought; the hand that only a few hours before had brought death was now holding yours. His fingers, intertwined with yours, reminded you that he was here for you; fully consciously, voluntarily, not just to satisfy some animal needs.

Bucky's spare arm embraced your back, pressing you as tightly as possible to his body. His hips began to move fast but not violently, he was moaning softly, pumping his cock into your cunt. It was hard for you to concentrate on anything other than that delicious sensation of being filled like that — your brain was melting, making you nothing more than a body to fuck, but the same brain told you to look at Bucky. So you looked at his lips, parted, swollen, in that familiar deep shade of pink they had turned from biting, and finally decided to occupy them with yours, devouring his warm, plush mouth.

The space between you, if such a thing had any right to exist, was filled with Bucky's loud breaths and grunts, your soft whines and his name — the sweet promise that you belonged to him only.

Bucky went still, letting out an interrupted whimper. A single, strong shiver ran through his body, his seed filled you up. When his mind regained a small percentage of sobriety, he continued thrusting into you. You straightened up to the sitting position, but still held tightly to Bucky’s hand. The tension building in your stomach released — orgasm shook your body, sending it into strong spasms, throwing your head back, squeezing only a heavy exhale out of your lungs.

Bucky looked up at you; he admired your jawline, your arched neck, the blue gemstone of the chain he gave you hanging in the middle of your collarbones, the single drop of sweat running down between your breasts. You were the most beautiful creation he had a chance to experience.

You gazed at him too, tears shimmered in your eyes, one of them dropped unexpectedly on Bucky's chest.

He furrowed, and, gripped by a burning panic and worry looming over, sat up; one of his hands was instantly on your cheek, the other brushed a few strands of hair away from your face. “It’s okay,” Bucky said softly. Sniffling, you nodded, the tears still streaming down your cheeks. “It’s okay…” he repeated more to himself, his eyes studying your face nervously, helplessly. With his thumb, he quickly wiped off another teardrop that escaped from your eye, then leaned closer and kissed away a new one, the salty taste smeared on his lips.

“Nothing-” you sobbed, then took a deep, shuddering breath. “Nothing like this has ever happened to me,” you choke out. Bucky's jaw clenched, his eyes filled with sadness. Nothing like this has ever happened to you, and now that you were his wife, it did. On his watch. He was convinced that the blame lay with him, but he didn't admit it out loud — he wasn't going to make a victim of himself, all that mattered was you. “I shouldn't have let him-”

“No,” Bucky interrupted you strongly. He looked you in the eye. “It's not your fault, Y/N. You hear me?”

In response, you only sniffled again, dropping your gaze. “You told me something like this could happen. And I didn't listen.”

“Hey,” he said to get your attention, his voice gentle, but you didn't have the courage to bring your eyes back to his. Yet, with his hands on your cheeks, he made you look up at him. “Don’t do that. That fucker had no right to touch you even with his finger. That’s not on you.”

You weren't sure about that — your mind wasn't in a place that would allow you to believe Bucky's assurances. The wounds were still too fresh, the memories too vivid. However, one thing you were sure of; you had washed Adrian off of you. Bucky's scent clung to your skin, but your body was also marked with his sweat, his spit, his cum.

You started crying all over again — you needed this kind of purification. Bucky got that, so he wrapped his arms around you and pressed to his chest. “You’re safe now,” he whispered, stroking your hair.

a/n: feel free to share your thoughts, they are more than welcomed 🥰

taglist: @goldensunflowe-r @nefri-black @vickie5446 @learisa @sjsmith56 @aya-fay @hhiggs @wishingwell-2 @buckysgirl01 @emily-roberts @prettylittlepluviophile @leaaa008 @itvy5601 @melsunshine @pattiemac1 @marvel-fandom23 @rabbitrabbit12321 @xsecretsirenx @heyyitsreign @xhollycowx @samfreakingwinchester @thrnlvr @samjuarezzz @loustan90 @kandis-mom @abaker74 @gabshouse @casa-boiardi @globetrotter28 @fand0mskullfa1ry @iateall-yourcookies @swordofawriter @theroyalmanatee @midnightvitality @thebuckybarnesvault @milanaasblog @itsmytimetoodream @talesofadragon @r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e @bbiaa420 @funkybarnes @sebastians-love @walkingwithoutreason @hereticdance @abitofblues @purple-vegan @queenashen @oqueano @yourdryadwife @lethallyprotected @abbyyourlocalmilf @sapphirebarnes @matchat3a

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throneofsapphics · 1 year ago

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old faces, part eight

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret.

Warnings: mentions of death, drinking

Word Count: ~5.6k

A/N: i’m not too sure about this one, but here it is!

series masterlist

The sun shifted, light hitting you directly in the eyes. You groaned, throwing your arm over your head. Disentangling yourself from your sheets … not your sheets, the one on your bed at the castle.

Lurching forward in bed, a pounding headache set in, and not alcohol induced this time.

The hungry look in Aelin’s eyes. Rowan’s hands on your face, your hips, in your hair. Aelin’s hand running over your shoulder, down your arm. Soft lips, canines grazing over your neck, whispers in your ear …

You slammed your palm into your forehead, like you might shake the memory out - or reverse it.

Was it a bad idea? Probably.

Did you want it to happen again? Yes.

Should it? No.

You debated all of the possible reactions to last night’s events.

Pretend it didn’t happen? That wouldn’t work.

Hide out in the staghorns for the rest of your days? First, Ceri. Second, they might be concerned and come looking.

Tell them it shouldn’t happen again? The most ‘mature’ reaction, but the most terrifying one to you. The next few weeks would be busy, and with a little luck you could limit encounters, and have time to find the courage to say what you needed to.

“Don’t run away in the morning.”

Like you’d run all those years ago. Was that what he meant? You’d run to keep yourself safe. But now … you’re struggling to grapple with a reason why that shouldn’t change. Everything was different now, and that meant you should react differently. Gods, it felt like your life was full of ‘shoulds.’ Everything you should, should have, and should not. If you could kill a word and bury it deep under, that would be the target.

Pounding on the bedroom door. You’d been distracted enough you hadn’t sensed or scented anyone coming - but it was Ceri and Evangeline, and sure enough the door swung right open. The older girl had an apologetic look on her face as Ceri nearly sprinted in, jumping right up on your bed, flopping down on her back.

You sent her what you hoped was a reassuring smile, and she only grinned back, telling the two of you she’d see you at breakfast. A nice way of informing her she was expected.

“How was your night,” you prompted your daughter, and was treated to a full recounting of events. It took your mind off of the end to your night - or the beginning of your morning, and her joy was infectious. Listening attentively, you found yourself drawn into her story.

“We jumped over a massive fire, taller than you!”

“That’s impressive.”

She nodded, “it was all magic.”

“It was,” you added, smoothing out some of her hair.

A few hours later, another pounding on the door - not the bedroom one this time. Swinging it open, it was him. Instantly, your face turned bright red. His mouth quirked at one corner.

“Aelin’s still asleep,” he looked past you to see Ceri, grinning at him but not moving. An orange fluff ball was on her lap. Fleetfoot ran past him, running over to greet the two.

“I’m glad they get along,” you said, as Halle jumped down, and the two went past them, probably to try and find someone to slip them bits of meat. Whenever you were here, so was Halle. Even if they tried, they couldn’t keep her away.

Rowan was also treated to a full recounting of the previous night's events, something you tried hard to pay attention to - very intentionally not looking at him. Had he come to make sure you hadn’t run away? At least that meant they still wanted you here.

Rowan was a bit surprised you were still there in the morning. He’d not expected, necessarily, but was fully prepared for you to disappear. Just like before. That wasn’t fair of him, not at all, but it didn’t stop the unwanted thought from popping in. You could barely look at either of them, as expected.

Still, nothing seemed awkward throughout the breakfast - if you could call it that, the sun was already bright overhead. Aelin looked like, and had, just rolled out of bed. He debated what time to come knock on your door, but turns out someone beat him to it. Apparently she’d woken you up around nine, when the majority of the castle was still sleeping off the night before. You’d smiled fondly at her as she told everyone, before ruffling her hair.

He found himself scanning the table. Their friends, and court, all in one place. Generally it resulted in some level of chaos, but he didn’t mind it. In four days, guests would start flooding in, and he relished in the temporary peace.

Five months ago, they’d first brought up the ball to you. In the time that passed, you’d started your work as an advisor, and it had been invaluable. Although once word fluctuated to the librarians, they’d stolen plenty of your time with help for research.

Too much of it, once they’d noticed the absolute exhaustion, Aelin had a little chat with them. Well, Ceri had brought it up first. Never giving any hint that you’d neglected her somehow - Rowan knew you wouldn’t - just that you weren’t sleeping as much, that you’d stay up half the night with books. Your daughter had always been skilled at sneaking around, and she’d only gotten better.

“Ceri told me you spoke to the librarians,” you said casually, glancing up from the papers you were studying. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.”

Aelin snorted, “they’d run you down to the bone if you let them.”

You would be ‘on-call’ during the week of meetings, but not ‘required’ to attend them, like the rest of the court advisors.

It happened this year several countries outside of Erilea would attend. That was confirmed before your arrival in Orynth, but Ceri’s appearance - and your own, would add an extra layer of interest. Anyone with two eyes could see who Ceri was related to, and he wouldn’t deny her anyway.

He’s certain people know of her by now, but seeing and knowing are two very different things. He hated it, but it would be good to note who asked too many questions, and everyone in the castle already knew what to listen out for, and that was one item on the list.

Now that Beltane was over, there were several days of different kinds of preparations to do. Ones that were much less enjoyable.

Ceri was staying for another few nights, but after breakfast you managed to slip away, with Fenrys, before he or Aelin could catch up to you.

“Tell me what happened last night,” Fenrys demanded as you walked through the door.

“We’re supposed to be working,” you tried to deflect, failing miserably.

“I can’t do that until I figure out why you’re so …”

“So what?” you hissed

“Skittish.” Fenrys raised his brows, arms crossing over his chest, daring you to disagree. Unfortunately, you couldn’t. With an overdramatic groan, you collapsed back onto the couch. “That bad?” He took the seat across from you.

“No,” you closed your eyes. This might be easier to say if you don’t look at him. “Aelin and Rowan kissed me,” it came out barely above a whisper.

“And how do you feel about it?” He asked, and you peeked your eyes open. His expression was carefully neutral, giving away nothing.

“Conflicted,” you answered honestly.

“Was it not enjoyable?” A bit of amusement slipped into his tone. If you told him that - it would be a lie, and it would get back to them - he wouldn’t be able to resist making fun of them for it. Maybe if that happened … they’d be inclined to come prove you wrong.

No. no. no.

“That’s not it,” your hand ran over your face. “It just can’t happen again.”

“Why?”

“You’re nosy today.”

He snorted, “it’s my default.”

“Fair enough.”

“You weren’t supposed to agree,” his eyes rolled before his expression slipped back into neutrality. Unfortunately, he didn’t give up. “Why?”

He stayed silent during the long moments you attempted to put words to it. “It’ll make things … messy. Complicated.”

“Simple is boring.”

“It’s easy. Maybe that’s what I want.”

“The fact that you said ‘maybe,’ proves that wrong.”

“What about Ceri? This is probably strange enough for her already”

“She’s a kid.”

“Exactly.”

“So she’ll adapt. Are you scared she’ll ask if you’re special friends again?” You laughed, it wasn’t that funny, in fact the idea of it was horrifying, but it was enough to make you loosen up.

Once you’d calmed down, Fenrys kept opening his mouth. “It’s obvious you all want each other. Why would you deny yourself?

That damn word again. Are you going to deny her? Are you going to deny him? Your toxic thoughts chose a fantastic time to resurge. Maybe you were nothing more than a way to pass time, a temporary reprieve to their boredom. Something to get out of their system. The mere thought left you feeling dirty, made your skin crawl. You didn’t know if you were capable of seeing them in that light.

“Maybe I'm a masochist,” you finally responded.

“I don’t know what to do,” she told Lys, collapsing back onto the couch. Twelve hours ago, you’d been here with her.

“That’s a new one,” Lysandra grinned. “About the kiss?” Aelin scowled, and flipped her off. She hadn’t told her, hadn’t told anyone, but somehow the shifter figured it out and promised to keep it a secret.

“No,” she gritted her teeth. Although she was a bit lost on that one, something she could figure out with Rowan. One task at a time, she reminded herself. One gods-damned thing at a time.

First, get you a dress.

Second, figure out when she can kiss you again. They hadn’t expected you to fall right in with them, although it would’ve been nice. But, the last thing she wanted was to scare you off - and that meant patience.

Rubbing at her temples, she refocused herself. “On how to get her to go dress shopping.”

“What’s stopping her?” Aelin kept her mouth shut.

Definitely not something she’d be spreading around, she’d been trusted with that precious kernel of information. The main reason was to not betray her trust. But, even if you’d given your permission for her to share, she’d be reluctant to. A precious gift. One she’d want to keep to herself. Then again, Aelin had pissed several people off in the past for withholding information. What could she tell Lysandra without giving too much away? No matter what she said, it would imply something, and she refused to lie to her friend. Thankfully, before she could come up with an answer, Lysandra nodded in understanding.

“Should we ambush her? Take her out to one of the shops?”

“Catching her by surprise is our best shot,” Aelin paused, “but she’d hate being taken out into public like that.” She grinned at Lysandra, her plan already formed. Emerald green eyes twinkled in response.

You intended on having a slow morning. All of the work you wanted to accomplish for the week was done, and for once you had zero plans. Recently, keeping yourself busy seemed like the only reasonable way to keep your sanity. Two days ago you’d kissed them. They’d kissed you.

Maybe having zero plans was a bad idea.

Aelin’s thumb grazing over your lips. Rowan’s fingers sliding into your hair.

A loud meow snagged you out of the memories, and you mumbled a ‘thanks’ to Halle. At least nobody could witness you speaking to your cat, currently winding herself in between your legs. You leant down, scratching between her ears.

“What is it?” Yellow eyes stared up at you, before she darted towards the cabinet. “I know Ceri snuck you one this morning.”

Dried pieces of fish. Would stink up the house permanently, if you hadn’t a small box to contain the … stench. She wouldn’t stop staring, and you caved. A little bit of magic floated it, just high enough for her to lean up, snatch it, and dart off somewhere else.

Less than a year in Orynth, and it already felt like home. At first, it felt a bit like a betrayal to Antica - to the friends there who’d become family, but … someone could have multiple, you supposed. Part of you might always belong there, but another part was growing its roots in this city, and Ceri was flourishing. That always helped. Your ‘advisor’ role helped too, bringing a different kind of purpose and motivation. Maybe you weren’t ‘vital’ or ‘essential’ to the country, but you felt like you were helping - and that was enough.

A pulse from the wards showed visitors coming. The feel of their magic told you who, and your cheeks preemptively flushed. Glancing at the clock, Aelin was up early, for her. And dragged Lysandra with her. You didn’t have a good feeling about this.

The door creaked, and then swung open. Maybe you shouldn’t have told them if it isn’t warded, locked, or before eight in the morning, they could come right in. Still in the kitchen, you sighed and started making tea for them. Then, you’d figure out whatever Aelin’s plan is, and try to keep yourself from blushing every time you looked at her. Halle re-appeared, winding herself around your ankles.

Aelin wasn’t surprised you didn’t come meet them at the door. After all, you’d told all of them that if the wards didn’t keep them out, they could come right in. They’d all taken advantage of it one time or another - Fenrys, most of all.

“You’re up early,” you commented - water set to boil on the stove. Aelin, on instinct, quickened the process for you, flames heating it up. A flash of surprise, you glanced at the pot, before shooting her a smile. “Thank you,” you murmured.

“We’ve got things to do today,” she grinned, catching your eye.

You looked at her skeptically, before asking Lysandra, “should I be worried?”

Lysandra shrugged, and she jabbed her elbow into her ribs. At least you looked amused, rather than concerned. She waited to broach the topic until you were all seated.

Halle had hopped into your lap, and you sighed - but didn’t try to remove her. There was a barely detectable smell of fish coming from somewhere.

“Do you have a dress yet?” She already knew the answer.

“I don’t,” one hand stroked Halle's fur, but the cat was still tense - staring right at Aelin, as if she could read her mind. Maybe it was too early, because it felt vaguely like the cat was warning her. “Ines hasn’t stopped harping on about it, one of her cousins is a seamstress.”

“Who?” Aelin tilted her head, and you named the exact person she had in mind.

“She told me last night she already gave her my measurements,” you groaned, “and I agreed to meet her tomorrow afternoon.” Aelin’s heart dropped to her stomach.

“That’s wonderful,” Lysandra cut in, and your eyes darted between the two of them, bottom lip rolling between your teeth.

“It’ll be just me, here. If you’re not busy, I could use a friend or two with a good fashion sense.”

Friend.

“We volunteer,” Lysandra replied, “what time?”

“She’ll be here around two.”

Meetings for the morning, some of the final preparations, wrapped up at half past one. They’d be a bit late, but could still make it.

“Perfect timing.” Aelin noticed the cat finally settled.

The kindest way to put it, was you were a wreck the next morning. In fact, you drank several cups of tea designed to keep you calm, and it worked somewhat. Baking carob cookies helped too.

At least you knew the seamstress, Lya, from nights out. Unfortunately, she detected some of your nerves.

“I promise I’ll try not to jab you,” she grinned.

Laughing, you asked, “how much will I owe you?”

“I’d be willing to trade instead.” That worked fine for you.

Aelin and Lysandra showed up a quarter of an hour after her, and you were grateful they’d come. Their presence added excitement, instead of dread. They spoke eagerly to Lya, already familiar with her, about different colors, textures, designs, and you tried your best to keep on top of it.

Gold. That was the color you ended up deciding on, and a small gleam appeared in Aelin’s eyes at it. Sleeveless, gauzy and flowing, and a v neckline - bordering on the hint of modesty.

An hour later, you’d made it through unharmed. You ended up trading three amulets, and a ward to alert of anyone approaching. She tried to insist the ward itself was enough, but you’d refused. If you were exchanging actual cash value, it probably would even out. But, without knowing, she’d made you feel comfortable during it, calming any nerves, and that was worth much more to you.

Neither Aelin nor Lysandra commented, but they stayed with you until after the seamstress left. Just in time for Ceri to come home, her three friends in tow. The same friends she’d convinced to attend the local school with her, for the three days a week she went.

“They really are inseparable,” Lysandra commented as you watched them through the window, running right up the path. Ceri paused twenty paces away, and her eyes lit up, she knew who was here. Maybe she remembered Lya was coming today - and you always baked when guests came over.

The door swung open, and after a few quick hellos they breezed right into the kitchen where the sweets were.

“And I thought you were excited to see me,” Aelin called after them. Laughter, and then the sound of a box opening. It took a few months, but they always made themselves at home now - and you loved it.

Minutes later, they sprinted out into the back garden - going to check on the chickens. Lysandra made an excuse to leave, and it was just you and Aelin.

“More tea?” You asked, heading towards the kitchen. You needed something to do, because looking at her kept bringing back memories, and being alone with her was dangerous.

Aelin stood, and caught your wrist as you passed, calloused fingers closing around your skin. Knowing you’d probably regret it, you let her invade your space. Jasmine and lemon verbena. Her eyes met yours, before slowly scanning down your face - pausing on your lips, where your teeth bit almost painfully.

You were frozen in time and place, stuck and lost as her thumb tugged it free, before slipping between your lips. Your skin heated, heart quickening as you swirled your tongue around it. The smallest touch from her should not be doing this to you.

Hearing the back door open, you both separated, Aelin with a particularly feline grin.

It was Terrasen’s first time hosting, and Aelin was glad to see everyone gathering under different circumstances. Several people who’d been in Orynth during the battle were coming. Dorian, Manon, Chaol, Yrene, Ansel, Sartaq and Nesryn, a few of Rowan's cousins, and more.

The entourages from Adarlan, and the Witch Kingdom arrived first.

In the end, they had to tell Ceri Manon was coming, likely with Abraxos, and coached her several times on what not to say. For example; ‘Rowan tells me bedtime stories about you.’

Gods, part of Aelin hoped Ceri did say it - if only to see Manon’s reaction.

Still, her mind wandered to you. To that night. She’d only had that brief time alone with you, that moment when your eyes met hers, and she saw lust start to glaze over. The feeling of your tongue against her skin, the sound of your heart pounding, she wanted more. You were quickly becoming a sweet addiction.

They weren’t announcing you were Rowan’s ex-lover, but anyone with two brain cells would put the pieces together. Instead, you were an advisor to their Court, and Ceri’s mother.

It was probably one of the last things on everyone else's minds, but it was circling around in yours enough to cause a headache. Several headaches.

“I can do this,” you muttered, in front of the mirror. There wasn’t any other option.

“Do what?” Ceri asked, and you spun around to see her, lurking just outside of the door. She waited for you to answer.

“Meet all of these new people,” you answered honestly.

“I’m excited,” she grabbed your hand, tugging you away. “I’ll get to meet Manon,” she peered up at you, “do you think she’ll let me see Abraxos?”

“You’ll have to ask nicely,” you squeezed her hand. “And maybe wait until you know her a bit better, Wyverns aren’t pets.”

Ceri agreed, and you headed out. All you had to do was make it through dinner, and then you could overthink everything alone.

She’d been to Terrasen before - since the battle, but visiting with several others would be interesting. From the air, she’d spotted the memorial to her … to her thirteen. Although she didn’t come here often, each time she did it almost felt like she could feel their presence - could hear Asterin; “Live, Manon. Live.” With some difficulty, she let the memory slip from her mind. It never got easier with time.

Manon didn’t know what to make of Rowan’s child. The girl was perfectly polite, but kept sending her looks throughout the entire meal. Nothing rude, more like curious.

She didn’t seem afraid of anyone. Her mother, on the other hand … you’d been introduced at the beginning as an advisor to their court. A few others seemed to vaguely recognize your name.

“The child's mother,” she asked Dorian later on - keeping an ear open for anyone crawling around. “Who is she?”

“A specialist.”

Manon scowled, at the small smirk growing on his face. He was enjoying knowing something she didn’t. The King didn’t say anything further, waiting for her to keep asking.

“A specialist in what?” She hissed.

Shrugging his shoulder, he only responded when she shot him another glare. “Wards, enchanted objects, those types of things.” Mildly interesting, and she noted it for later. “Ceri couldn’t stop looking at you,” he commented.

“I’m aware.”

Manon couldn’t tell from where, but she felt eyes on her. Launching to her feet, she began to search around the room, and felt Dorian’s magic doing the same.

Then - soft paws, and a meow. An orange cat, bright yellow eyes, was staring at her. Not a shifter, and her body relaxed somewhat.

“Where did you come from?” she crouched down, holding her hand palm up. It, Manon tilted her head, she trotted over, her head rubbing against her hand. Too well taken care of to be a stray, but she supposed there were always mice to find.

She scented them first, then three knocks on the door. Dorian called them to come in, and Chaol, Yrene, and a good portion of Terrasen’s court followed.

Aelin stopped as she saw the cat, eyes widening in surprise.

“Halle,” she called, and the creature looked up.

“You have a cat?” Dorian asked, “how does Fleetfoot feel?”

“Fleetfoot loves her,” Aelin huffed, “and she’s not my cat.”

Sure enough, the cat spotted Yrene and bounded towards her - like greeting an old friend. “Or my cat,” Yrene said, but still bent down to scratch between its ears. “How did you end up all the way out here?” Another meow, and a purr.

“Yrene,” Chaol cleared his throat.

She glanced up at him, to find most of the room staring at her. “She’s part Baast cat, I didn’t know any lived outside of the Torre. “Or that they mixed with other kinds.”

“It’s almost like she knows you,” Aelin looked between them.

“Well, they’re certainly not normal cats. To offend one is to insult them all, it's best to stay on their good side.”

“She’s y/n’s cat,” Rowan finally said. With a swish of a fluffy tail, the creature trotted off through the still open door. Ceri’s mother is getting more interesting. “I should warn you,” he fixed his gaze on her, “Ceri’s recently -”

“It’s not recent,” Aelin interjected - and she ignored him,

“Become obsessed with Wyverns - and dragons.”

“And?” Manon pushed.

Aelin stalked over, and flopped down on the couch next to her. “We’re apologizing, in advance, for when she tries to badger you with questions.”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t already,” Lysandra added, taking a seat across from them.

The subject changed after that, and a bottle of wine was brought. Manon supposed if she was stuck talking to anyone, this group wasn’t the worst option.

They couldn’t force you to, but had offered for you to come meet their friends, aware you’d probably decline. Aelin might consider them friends, but to you - you’d see rulers of different countries, a lot of which most people in Terrasen would never be in the same room as.

As expected, you turned down the offer and although she understood, Aelin couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed, even as she tried to imagine herself in your situation. Rowan came up with the idea to warn Manon, instead of having Ceri catch her off guard. It was a smart decision, but it would’ve been nice to see the Witch Queen surprised.

Gods, Aelin wanted you here - even felt like you’d belong. Aelin was waiting to see if you would be brought up, if someone would ask questions.

“Your friend,” Yrene asked carefully - not sure who to address, “y/n, she’s from Antica?”

“She lived there for a while,” Rowan answered.

“I thought she looked familiar.”

“Familiar?”

Yrene paused, her mouth tightening for the briefest moment - debating what to say. “Antica is busy - but I still remember faces.” Chaol’s hand covered her own, her friend smiling.

You didn’t come up again for the rest of the night.

Mind whirling, you tapped your foot incessantly against the carpet. Ceri was nearly asleep, Rowan finishing up a story. Likely, he had somewhere to be after this, and with a touch of luck he’d say a quick goodnight and walk right out the door.

Instead, he stopped, eyes tracking your movements. Your foot stilled.

“Nervous?” He asked, and took a seat next to you, still a healthy distance away. Shields of wind went up around the room, keeping nosy ears from listening.

“A bit,” you admitted - fixing your eyes on the wall. It wasn’t nearly as nice to look at as the male next to you.

“Look at me,” Rowan said rather gently.

You couldn’t. A few seconds passed.

“Look at me.” His words were more forceful, more demanding this time. “For fucks sake,” you heard him mutter, and his fingers closed around your jaw, turning your head. The grip didn’t hurt, but it was firm. He almost looked … worried.

“Rowan, I'm fine.”

Two fingers tapped together, he caught it. “Don’t lie to me.”

Shrugging out of his grip, you stood, one hand through your hair. “Fine. I’m a fucking wreck, is that better?” Squeezing your eyes shut, you forced the memories out, back into the past - where they needed to stay.

Grabbing your arm, he tugged you back down to sit. “Stay at the castle after.”

It wasn’t a question, and something you’d already agreed to do. The look in his eyes … as if he was saying it for his own reassurance.

Your throat bobbed, “I will.”

Rowan’s hand slid down your arm, stopping to squeeze your hand. “Good.”

The next morning, over breakfast, Ceri finally cracked.

“I’ve heard all about you,” she told Manon. In the rush of everyone getting seated, they hadn’t noticed she was directly across from the Witch.

Rowan braced himself.

“Really?” Manon paused, putting her fork back down and giving her full attention. Aelin may have killed all of the Gods, but he still prayed.

She hummed, “I want to be a Wyvern-rider,” he could tell she was holding her tongue - avoiding saying and a witch. She’d been very upset when they had to tell her Witches were born, not made.

“I can take you on Abraxos.” The entire table went silent.

“Absolutely -” Aelin started, he was still in shock that she'd even offered. He glanced at you, on Ceri’s right. Your shoulders had tensed, but you weren’t protesting.

“Yes please, that would be amazing,” eyes identical to his own lit up in pure joy and excitement.

Manon’s mouth briefly curled up at one corner, “then it’s settled.”

His eyes slid to you, again, at how your mouth had tightened. Rowan watched as Manon met your gaze, and you held her stare for a few moments, before nodding almost imperceptibly, before nudging your head towards him.

Wanting him to agree as well. Very briefly, you looked at him.

Ceri had tracked the silent conversation, and now stared at him with pleading eyes. Shit.

He looked at Manon instead - more like glowered, enough Aelin stomped on his foot.

A silent stare said; anything happens to her and I'll destroy you.

Manon rolled her eyes, but her mouth indented at the corner. Was he really about to trust her to take her daughter on a wyvern?

With you already agreeing, and Ceri likely to throw a fit if he disagreed, the decision was already made for him.

The next morning, at dawn, a small crowd gathered as Ceri trailed Manon, approaching Abraxos. You were on edge, and this was insane, but a dream came true for your daughter. Maybe it wasn’t entirely fair you left the final decision on Rowan, but in your defense Manon looked at you first.

You’d always been good at reading people, and animals, and this was the safest way possible. Plus, a hawk would be trailing them - wind prepared to slow her down if anything happened.

Abraxos seemed to like her, and Manon explained everything, answering all of her questions. Honestly it seemed to surprise everyone around you as well. It was all she’d talked about last night, and it took some convincing to get her to actually go to sleep.

You could’ve sworn little screams of joy were heard over the city as they did a loop around the castle and surrounding areas, a white tailed hawk trailing after them.

Ten minutes, but possibly the longest ten minutes of your life.

You fidgeted with your gown. Gold and elegant, Lya had really outdone herself. It was nothing like the last one, and you were grateful for it. Even then, part of you still wished your parents were here with you.

“There’s going to be several guards watching over Ceri, all night,” Fenrys said, appearing behind you in the mirror. He’d told you this before - probably dozens of times by now, like he needed to beat it into your head that you were allowed to enjoy yourself. Still, you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to tell another person about the last ball you went to.

“Aren’t you supposed to be down there?”

“I have a few minutes,” he glanced at the clock. “Don’t forget you have to be there too.”

“You won’t let me.”

After unnecessarily moving a pin around in your hair, you let Fenrys loop his arm through yours. “Remember to have fun. Remember you don’t belong to anyone.”

“Obviously,” you nudged him. “What are you trying to say?”

Voices started filling the hall, and he shot you a sly grin before merging both of you into the crowd.

Ceri glowed. She wasn’t introduced as a ‘princess,’ but a member of the royal household. You were well aware that several parts of the world still shunned children born out of wedlock - especially in Royal families, and seeing her up there made you proud. Proud of how high she held her head, of the confidence radiating from her.

Although her existence was already known, murmurs still rose in the crowd - just from a few people. A few sharp looks from Terrasen’s court and the Witches, cut those right off.

The ball was beautiful. Joy, laughter, feasting, and dancing. Gods, just after a few hours you thought your feet might fall off. But as Aelin and Rowan swept across the dance floor, it brought a strange feeling. It wasn’t jealousy sneaking into you, but a realization.

There would never be a place for you there, with them, not with how perfectly they fit together. As far as you were concerned, whatever that night was - physical attraction drove it. Nothing more. It couldn’t be more, even if you wanted it to. Giving in to that same desire … it wouldn’t end well. If you grew attached like that, it would rip your heart out once they realized you didn’t fit, and that would come eventually.

You can’t speak for them, a little voice whispered in your mind. Likely part of you trying to convince yourself it could work. But, it wasn’t like you to wait around in denial.

‘You don’t belong to anyone,’

When a witch strode up to you with confidence, asking if you wanted to dance, you said yes without a second thought, sore feet forgotten. When she asked if you’d like to get some fresh air, you agreed.

In a private corner of a garden, her hand slid around your waist, the other sliding into your hair, you let yourself lean into the moment and forget.

The light hit your dress at all of the right moments, drawing his attention to you. Gold. He knew Aelin must’ve been behind it. You were absolutely beautiful, and each person you danced with seemed charmed. He hadn’t made his way over to you, but he planned on it at some point throughout the night.

Just as he thought he had an opportunity, your last dance finished, Rowan saw you smile at her, watched the witch lead you from the ballroom, and couldn’t do a damn thing.

taglist: @holb32 @fussel9913 @moonlightttfae @cassianswh0reeee, @reidishh

#rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin x reader #throne of glass fic #rowan whitethorn x reader #aelin galathynius x reader #rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin x y/n #throne of glass x reader #rowan whitethorn x y/n #aelin galathynius x y/n

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kyra45 · 1 year ago

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Keys guide to scam spotting

Hi! I’m Key/Jess and I’ll be giving you a detailed explanation on how to spot scam accounts with commonly known examples such as what they do or what to look out for. All this information is meant to serve as a post that can be easily understood with information of my own and tips of my own. Any tips I give here is my own and any resemblance to other info is entirely a coincidence. I will make this post as accessible as possible for ease of readability so it is all plain text and no big letters beside the top so it has a title. This is mostly based around pet donation scammers but can be used to spot other scams as well.

—

What is a scam post on tumblr? A scam post is when someone is using information that isn’t their own and claiming they need money but are using a stolen story as theirs. Their situation, while it is real most of the time, is actually from another site and isn’t their situation. Usually a search of it will show any posts but this works best if you used Google or another search engine. However, this process isn’t always reliable. Scam posts are posts that are not truthful and deceive users into donating by having stolen content.

—

There are a few things to keep in mind that will help you figure out if an account contacting you is a scammer and usually, most of the time, you will find it is a legitimate person if you just kindly ask them for verification with any personal details removed. However, some blogs will never reply and may block you or ignore you because they don’t have any interest in proving who they are. It’s not uncommon for these scammers to wave away questions or turn off anon asks or asks off overall so no one can ask them anything. They may even turn off messages to further prevent any concerns being addressed and try to avoid suspicion.

—

One thing to keep in mind is how the account contacting you would have located you. Do you have a popular post that’s breached containment? Did you share a post that may be trending or fandom related? Any of these may lead to someone contacting you an asking you for donations be it through asks or direct messages. If your DMs are closed, the account may send you an ask telling you to message them first because they are desperate and then when contacted they ask you for like a thousand dollars on the spot. If you wonder why I suggest limiting your messages, it’s because people don’t like getting these and will mark it as spam. Scammers also do this to avoid public confrontation. But know not everyone doing this is scamming.

—

Another thing to keep in mind is how the ask was worded that the account sent you. Did it tell you to answer privately because they don’t want anyone calling them a spammer or because they would prefer you to message them instead? This is a very common type of scam ask and one that’s unfortunately extremely easy to get and see if you share trending/popular posts. Most often these are asks related to a sick pet by a blog that is only an hour old or a week old if you check the date of their pinned post. If they detect even the slighted doubt in your reply or question back? They block you.

—

Lastly, it doesn’t hurt to also ask questions to the blog who contacts you and see if they can provide clarification on anything you may be concerned over. This can be showing more images with personal info edited out or explaining any discrepancies in the info they supplied. For example, it could be how the images their using don’t match up with their information or how the story their using doesn’t seem to make sense because it’s not collaborating with any specific details they had already given. It may also be the supporting link they supply doesn’t match up the currency they request because the county doesn’t use the specific kind of currency they claim to need. More so if they don’t give any currency conversion rates. You can also check for backdated posts by turning on timestamps and checking the date of the first post if it’s easy to locate and seeing if it matched the reblog date in ‘other notes’. Some accounts will make posts look older in order to be deceptive and make the account look older then it really is.

—

Additionally, some scams are blogs who connect you saying they can help you but they want to give you a check and ask you to cash it or give them your banking information and phone number. These blogs are never legitimate people wanting to help you if your post has links that lead to ways to send support. Their are legitimate people who would help you that don’t ask for personal information using a blog that has no pfp, no bio, and has no posts. Treat these kind of blank accounts as bots. Report them and block them.

—

In closing, it is necessary to research the information you see in some posts and accounts to make sure it is a legitimate blog and not a scammer trying to make a quick buck. Not every blog you see asking for help is a scam account and generally most of them can easily provide proof their legitimate such as having several close friends, a blog that’s extremely old with tons of posts, or provides plenty of information in their posts that clearly explains their situation and shows the images they use is their own and don’t resort to a temper tantrum when questioned or when concerns are brought up.

If you found this post useful, feel free to share it or add your own tips to it! This is just based around my own personal encounters over the months of compiling information.

#long post #longpost #scam #kyra45 speaks #how to spot a scam blog

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jettermelon · 5 months ago

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I think this is a week or two late, but there was some fantastic discussion happening on TTRPG Tumblr earlier this month about incentive systems in rpgs - @thydungeongal, @imsobadatnicknames2, and @cavegirlpoems all have good posts that you should read. I’m here though to talk about incentive systems in games more generally. I’m seeing a lot of confusion in the notes of those posts about why they’re used in the first place (and also because I’m trying to articulate my own thoughts about them! I’m still a baby designer trying to figure out how all this works).

So real quick, let’s all get on the same page. Games are a voluntary limitation of agency, right? While playing the game, participants agree that certain arbitrary actions are off limits, while other actions are desirable. Which actions are off limits and which are desirable then create a certain experience. Go Fish and Texas Hold ‘em play fundamentally differently, and create a different emotional experience in their players, despite literally using the same components. The only difference is which actions are off limits, and which are desirable. We then play those games because the emotional space that play creates is... well fun. The whole point of rules in games is to put players in a specific emotional space.

This same idea can then be applied to more complex or thematic games. For example classic board game Clue loosely simulates the experience of being an old school mystery novel detective. It drip feeds you clues, and because the first player to correctly guess whodunit wins, players are encouraged to make their guess before they’ve mathematically “proven” the solution. Winning at Clue, then, requires some deductive reasoning skills, and when everything’s working it makes you feel like the hero in an Agatha Christie novel. That feeling is the goal of Clue’s design.

Okay, sweet, so we all agree that systems when voluntarily engaged with can create certain emotional states in the player - and those systems can be deliberately designed to invoke specific fantasies (this is what folks mean when they say “game design is real” btw!). Now I want to take a look at incentive systems specifically. So far the games I’ve used as examples all have the same, very simple incentive system: do a specific Thing and you win. Even with such a simple system, you can get a lot of mileage. Again, to win at Clue you have to name the murderer before anyone else. That “before anyone else” bit is key here. It encourages the player to be risky - to try and deduce what the other players know. That way they can make a call before anyone else has the chance to gather enough clues to solve the puzzle through process of elimination. That single incentive system contains most of the game’s fantasy. Change how you win a bit, and the game no longer fulfills its fantasy. If multiple players could win, you would no longer have incentive to make a call before you had literally all the information and therefore no deduction would be necessary.

Now obviously “winning” doesn’t have to be the only incentive, especially as your game gets more complex. Let's take a step out of the tabletop realm for a sec (there are other board games I could use here, but all that’s coming to mind are fucking Nerd Games™ and I want to keep my examples accessible) and take a look at the most recent Legend of Zelda games. Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom have incentive systems a lot closer to your typical TTRPG than something like Clue does. Sure, there’s the main quest to win the game (kill Matthew Mercer), but that’s really difficult to do at the start. And also like... not really the fun part of those games. The fun part is exploring Hyrule. And whether you realized it or not, the Zelda designers bribed you into engaging with the fun part of their game.

Imagine for a second if Breath of the Wild was missing its Shrines, Korok Seeds and sidequests. Literally the exact same game, same level geometry, same backstory, same enemy placement, just no rewards out in the wild. It would kind of suck yeah? You’d get tired of exploring right away, and just play it like an action game. Even if you added back in the parts of the game most of us consider fun (Shrines, Korok puzzles, actual content to find out in the wild) but withheld the rewards which make Link stronger (loot, Spirit Orbs, Korok seeds, etc), only completionists would bother doing any of that. The rewards are what lured us into the fun part of the game - without the rewards the game would have been less fun. Not only that, but it would have lost its core fantasy. It would have stopped being a game about exploring the wild, and turned into a game about killing an evil pig. All you had to change was the incentive system.

I think you're seeing how this applies to TTRPGs now. The things which make a player character stronger (that is to say, gives them more agency over the gameworld) are the things your players will gun for. A smart designer is going to make sure their incentive system rewards play which guides players to the game’s core fantasy. If your game is about being a badass monster hunter, XP for killing monsters is a fine reward structure. If the game is about making your and your friend’s OCs kiss, then you need a reward structure that incentivizes OC smooching.

Now some of you are protesting “but my friend’s OC and my OC smooch in D&D sometimes! What gives Lucy?” What you’re doing there is called playing pretend (a fantastic pastime, this is not meant as a knock on playing pretend. I do it all the time actually), but you shouldn’t give D&D or its designers credit for that. YOU AND YOUR FRIEND are responsible for that cool story - not WotC. Take credit for the cool shit you and your friends make, don’t give it to some corporation.

Idfk how to end this uhhhh.... Game design is really cool, and it can incentivize real neat stories when properly utilized. If you’re ignoring your game’s designed reward structure, then the cool stories that come out of it are a result of you and your friends being good at telling stories (seriously go give your GM a big ol’ hug if you haven’t already), not the game. If you are the GM and regularly ignore your game’s incentive systems, there are probably other games which better reward the style of play you want. Love yourself more than you love D&D and life is good. Or whatever

#ttrpgs #game design #d&d #sort of?

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wooahaeruby · 22 days ago

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Chapter 37: A Very SVT Christmas

Chapter Word Count: 10,612

None! This is the peace we needed c:

Author's note: HI, I'VE HAD THE WORST LUCK RECENTLY, 2 BROKEN PHONES, 1 KNEW PHONE, A BROKEN WASHING MACHINE, AND I WAS DYING. Anyways, I'm working hard on this, please be patient with me :D <3

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“So…” You took a long sips from the milkshake you ordered from the diner, raising a brow at Seokmin who sat close to you on the couch. “Christmas makes everyone…nice?”

“Okay, well, I wouldn’t say nice.” Seokmin munched on some of his fries, kicking his sock covered feet up on the coffee table. “More like…everyone kinda agreed years ago that the holidays are off limits for any turf wars, gang on gang violence, and mob shit. So no drug pushing, cartel product moving, nothing until January second. After that, it’s all fair game again.”

“You know, Min, the more and more you feed me mafia information, the more I believe I’m in some sorta coma and my mind is making shit up.” You used a chicken tender to point at him. “You mafia people are weird as fuck.”

“ Us mafia people, Mouse. Stop acting like you aren’t in on all this. You are friends with the 99 line for fuck sake.”

“I feel if I am to accept the fact I am part of the mafia then I might turn crazy and start killing people.”

Seokmin threw his head back in laughter, shoulders shaking and a wide smile spread on his face. “Honestly, you are so right and I can’t deny that. Though, we wouldn’t let you go on a killing spree. Promise.”

“Um, excuse me,” Clicking your tongue, you took a bite of chicken. “You completely underestimate my affinity for crazy, Seokmin.”

“I definitely do, but I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt. I don’t see you as some big shot street crawler, but you are currently dating and sleeping with two of the bosses here.”

Nodding, you could agree on that. “Yeah, you're right. I’m too much of a homebody to be a vigilante. Only in my dreams I guess.”

“Oh!” Seokmin wiggled in his spot beside you, shifting to better face you. “Are you ready for a SVT Christmas?”

“Dear god, no.” You slouched down, hugging yourself. “I got all the presents but Chan said you guys go all out.”

“It isn’t that bad.” He reassured, “The guys just get all excited. Plus…nice gifts are fun. We really try to keep it a secret from each other about what we get unless people team up.”

“Excited,” You snorted, frowning. “Joshua said the presents get open at six in the morning, big breakfast, and everyone spends the whole day together.”

“Eh. Cheol said no more six in the morning presents, but Mingyu likes cooking and making desserts. It’s a big family affair. He really wants to cook with you.”

You smiled, sighing quietly. “You know, this will be the first Christmas since I started college that I’ll be spending with people.”

Seokmin leaned forward and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest for a tight hug. “Don’t worry, honey, we will make it a Christmas you won’t forget.”

“This better be, I’m nervous you guys won’t like the gifts I got.” You let him hug you, even returning it just as tightly.

“It’s always the thought that counts, no matter what.”

Earlier in the morning, earlier than Jeonghan really wanted to be awake, Mouse crawled out of bed much to his disdain. Joshua ended up being his own heat source but he was too much of a light sleeper to curl back up and go back to sleep. She quietly and quickly scurried back into the room and went directly into the closet. He raised his head when the closet door was shut then opened a few minutes later, seeing her in multiple layers before rushing back out, boots in hand. He, rightfully confused, got up and stepped down the hall towards the living room, seeing the thick blanket of snow that started late the previous night.

Mouse was out by herself, shuffling through the snow in a mix of his, Joshua’s, and her clothes. She looked so happy standing under the still falling snow, stunning really – even if the layers looked a little ridiculous. He grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and dragged a chair by the glass door. Jeonghan gladly sat and watched her play in the snow, smiling to himself at how ecstatic she looked.

Mingyu emerged from his room, half dressed and half asleep, perking up when he noticed Jeonghan, a sound of question leaving him. He simply nodded his head towards the backyard where his girlfriend started to make a snowman to the best of her abilities. The taller man nearly skipped back to his room and Jeonghan could hear Mingyu bothering Chan to get dressed to go out in the snow with her.

The pitter-patter of socked feet had him looking away from Mouse, finding Mingyu and Chan dressed for the freezing weather.

“That was fast.” Jeonghan clicked his tongue, wrapping the blanket snugly around himself.

Chan slid on the boots in his hands, grinning from ear to ear. “This is the most snow we’ve had in ages! Plus, I wanna play in the snow with Mouse.”

“And everyone is still knocked out.” Mingyu rushed out the door, calling out to the woman.

Jeonghan simply sat, returning to his observation, sighing with a smile. Mingyu started a snowball fight the moment Mouse was in range. There was an unspoken conversation between Chan and his girlfriend, something evil behind their bright eyes when their gazes met. When whatever communication ended, they both turned on Mingyu. Snowball after snowball, the two youngest pelted the taller man despite his attempts to fight back against them.

By the time Jeonghan got up to make himself a cup of coffee and settled back down in his seat, Mingyu had given up, hands raised in surrender as he retreated towards the backdoor though the snowball assault didn’t end. The attack stopped the moment the sliding door cracked open and Mouse sent a beaming smile Jeonghan’s way.

“Those two are brutal.” Mingyu huffed out a breath he was trying to catch. “They teamed up and everything.”

Jeonghan let out a silent, breathy laugh through his nose, raising his mug to take a sip of his drink. “They are living their childhood dreams and you were the perfect, easy target. I would’ve been surprised if they didn’t team up against you.”

Mingyu stripped out of his shoes and heavy jacket, shivering violently. He quickly made himself a cup of coffee, turning to the sound of a yawn coming from the hallway. Seokmin trudged into the living room, clothes wrinkled and hair sticking up in a thousand different directions. He barely muttered a good morning as he joined Mingyu for a cup of coffee.

“Pancakes?” Jeonghan questioned, peering over and watching Mingyu start to pull out bowls and pans, along with his favorite countertop griddle to make the usually large morning meal.

“With bacon, eggs, and those little breakfast sausages that Cheol likes since he bought them.”

“Mornin’.” Joshua grumbled, leaning himself over the kitchen island tiredly. He stretched out his arms and legs before moving to silently help the other two in the prep and cooking.

Looking back out the doors, Chan was tackled into the snow by Mouse, almost entirely covered by the white fluff on the ground. Jeonghan let out an oof, cringing at the wrestling that started between the two of them, seeing her press snow into his face before he managed to shove snow down the back of her jacket. Mouse screamed out a curse as Chan chuckled in victory.

“They are going to catch a cold.” Seokmin giggled, placing the eggs in a pan to cook, looking out the window over the sink.

“Ah, they’ll be fine.” Standing from his seat, Jeonghan started to grab dishes needed to set the table, knowing it wouldn’t be too long before everything was finished.

When everything was placed to his satisfaction, Jeonghan slid back into the kitchen, keeping to the corner where the warm drink mixes were usually kept; tea, coffee, etcetera. He got two mugs out to make Mouse’s hot chocolate for her and Chan. Humming to himself, he tried his best to make it exactly like she did but it never came out the same. Mouse always said his attempts were perfect but he also knew her versions were top tier, the absolute best.

Carefully he walked the mugs over to Chan and Mouse’s usual seats to cool just enough to not burn their tongues. He huffed as he opened the sliding glass door, the chill sending a shiver down his spine.

“Chan, Mouse, breakfast soon!”

Both their heads whipped over, snow in hand to throw but it was quickly dropped and they stumbled through the snow towards the door. He stepped aside to let them in, helping with their coats and handing them up while they removed their shows. Chan cheered out a thanks, skipping off to warm up his bones. Mouse wrapped herself around Jeonghan’s waist, sapping his warmth.

“Good morning.” Her teeth chattered together quietly as she warmed up.

Jeonghan wrapped his arms around her snugly, running his hands up and down her back. “Good morning, my love.”

“ ‘m sorry if I woke you and Shua.”

“Me, yes, always. Him? I don’t know how he can sleep so deeply at times.” He chuckled, kissing her head. “I tried to make your hot chocolate for you and Chan.”

She lit up, bright eyes looking up at him before pulling away. “Thank you, babe!”

Jeonghan shrugged it off, just content seeing her happy any chance he could. He had been hoping the holidays would help lift her spirits even if it was a smidge.

“Mouse, do you wanna do something later for me?” Joshua asked, placing one of the many plates down on the table.

Mingyu gasped and Joshua snickered, seeing him nod. She frowned at the two of them, sipping the drink Jeonghan made for her. She raised a brow at him curiously but Jeonghan shrugged. Of course he knew what Joshua was going to ask but wasn’t going to ruin anything for the other man.

Jeonghan watched as his counterpart rounded the table and wrapped his arms loosely around Mouse’s waist.

“So we usually have Chan do it, but…” Joshua smiled sweetly down at her. “Chan gave up his job willingly so you could place the star on the top of the Christmas tree.”

Leaning over the back of Seungcheol’s chair, Jeonghan watched as their girlfriend peeked over to the large Christmas tree placed in the living room near the front windows, beside the TV. It was missing the usual large star that sat on top. The last few years, Chan would climb up the ladder and place it, but he suggested that Mouse do it as her first Christmas with them. Joshua and Mingyu thought it was a great idea knowing she hadn’t done much for the holidays.

“The star…?” She stared over at the tree but looked back at Joshua with a nod. “I’d love to do that.”

There was this…gooey, warm and fuzzy feeling in Jeonghan’s chest, a smile spreading on his lips. She gave a kiss to Joshua’s lips before he was breaking off to finish helping with breakfast. Seokmin asked Chan to start getting everyone up to eat, leaving Mouse to slide her way under Jeonghan’s arm once more.

“Why are you smiling like that?” She whispered, peering up curiously.

Jeonghan pulled her close, tightly wrapping his long arms around her so she couldn’t easily escape. “I dunno, baby, maybe I’m just in love with you.”

Her cheeks flushed a dark pink and he swore he could see stars in her eyes.

“Get a room~” Seokmin said in a sing-song voice and both Jeonghan and Mouse rolled their eyes.

“Oh trust me, we can and will get a room.” He smirked as Mouse hit him on the chest.

“Jeonghan!”

“No, Mingyu- Do not pick me up-” Mingyu’s hands were already on you, easily lifting you as you struggled in his hold.

You were just about to climb up the ladder when he grabbed you as a joke and lifted you up. He had been a little annoying all day, following you around as he wished the evening would come sooner so the star could be placed on top and the tree could be lit.

“Put me down!” You hollered out, wiggling in his grasp. “I will kick you!”

Chan laughed along with the giant, even a few others in the group joining in.

“No you won-”

You accidentally kicked back and hit him right in the groin and Mingyu crumbled. The loud uproar of laughter nearly overshadowed his pained groan. Once your feet hit the ground, you turned to Mingyu, seeing him on the floor, hands covering his crotch.

“Note to self,” He wheezed out a breath, trying to collect himself. “Don’t pick up Mouse.”

“That should have been obvious, dude.” Vernon chuckled, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes. “I don’t know what you expected to happen.”

“I am so sorry.” You kneeled down, panic in your eyes since you never intended to kick him there.

“Don’t feel sorry, he deserved it.” Seungcheol shuffled in, grabbing two decently wrapped presents on the couch to place under the tree.

“I just wanted to help you get the star up.” Mingyu pouted, sitting back on his feet.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “That is what the ladder is for!”

“Don’t yell at me! You kicked me in the balls!”

“Keep talking and I’ll kick you in the face!”

“You are a menace to society!”

“Good!” You crossed your arms, star still in hand and you stood tall. “Don’t forget it.”

“Come on, up the ladder.” Joshua defused the situation quickly, guiding you towards the four-step ladder.

You childishly stuck your tongue out as Mingyu now that he mostly recovered from your kick, letting your boyfriend usher you. Joshua held the ladder steady as you climbed, getting to the top and balanced yourself as you stood at the top. Reaching up, you ever so gently placed the star atop the artificial tree. When you were satisfied with how it was placed, making sure it was straight, you descended, looking up at your handy work. With a curt nod, you turned to look at all the guys.

“Ta-da!” You Will Smith memed the tree, noticing Seungkwan’s phone raised and aimed at you.

You gave him a little shimmy of your shoulders to make him and Vernon laugh as Chan bounded over towards the light switches and Jun was up and ready to plug in the tree. When the lights were flicked off and in the dark of the living room, the Christmas tree came to life when Joshua pushed a button on the small remote.

From bottom to top, the lights ingrained in the tree went on in a straight white pattern before Joshua pushed another button and they transitioned to a rainbow spiritual starting at the base. You watched with wide eyes at the different effects it had, never having a tree as nice to see such a fancy display.

Joshua placed his arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his side, kissing the top of your head. You took a deep breath, smiling pleasantly as the lights went solid white once more and the lights flickered back on.

“Hmm, maybe I am feeling some holiday spirit.” You admitted, leaning your head against your boyfriend’s chest, staring at the tree.

“Good, I want you to have a good Christmas, sweetheart.” He tilted your chin up and kissed you sweetly, feeling him smile against your lips.

“Right in front of my salad?” Seungkwan asked and you raised your hand to flip him the middle finger.

“Do your mushy couple shit somewhere else.”

There was a devious glint in Joshua’s eyes that you didn’t like. It was only a second before you were dipped back, hand on your ass, and he was kissing you again, this time rougher. If you could, you would have been laughing but up until this point, a majority of Joshua’s affection was slow, sensual even when things got heated.

You noted the sounds of complaint and retching from your friends, but a laugh came from Jeonghan. Joshua pulled your back up, moving away some to throw a smirk as some boos were also thrown out. Your cheeks were flushed and you turned your head away, not wanting them to see how flustered you were.

“You guys are nasty.” Jihoon griped and one peek at Joshua showed his eyes lighting up once more.

“Nope, no, do not-” You escaped his arms and ran straight into Soonyoung’s waiting ones.

“Who are you and what have you done with my Shua?” You gasped as Soonyoung bundled you up close to his chest. “Demon.”

Mingyu jumped into your other side, holding you along with the other. “We’ll protect you, Mouse!”

You stuck your tongue out at your boyfriend and Seungcheol cleared his throat, breaking the moment.

“Make sure presents are under the tree before Christmas day, by the way.” He sent a glare to Vernon then Jun, both avoiding his gaze. “Last year some people nearly lost some of their gifts because they weren’t placed in the living room to not lose them.”

“Oh come on.” Vernon crossed his arms and Jun only grinned and snickered.

“Don’t ‘come on’ me. Soonyoung at least can follow the simple instructions and his room is a minefield of shit.”

“Okay, he isn’t wrong…” Soonyoung muttered and you covered your mouth to hold in a laugh. “I’ll admit that I’m messy.”

“I’m hiding the mistletoe!” Mingyu parked up, grinning wide. “Been thinking of hiding spots all year.”

“Oh god.” You cringed, shaking your head with a smile. “Why mistletoe?”

“Because everyone deserves a kiss!” Seokmin chuckled, biting on the tip of his tongue.

Mingyu placed a sloppy, wet kiss to your cheek and you pushed him away with a squeak. Wiping his spit off with his sleeve, you whined at how gross he was.

“There will be a lot more of that where those came from. Whoever has got the most mistletoe kisses by the end of the night gets another gift and this year Cheol gets to provide it.”

“First year we did this, Minghao had to provide it, then last year it was Wonwoo.” Soonyoung filled you in thankfully, still keeping you wrapped up in his arms.

“And I’m keeping it a secret until then.” Seungcheol spoke smugly, a smirk on his lips.

“You rang?” Sona stepped into your apartment, stopping as she noticed the mess you were working on cleaning before Chan would pick you up. “Did a baking tornado rip through here?”

“No, uh, sorry.” You placed some mixing bowls in the dishwasher, along with some measuring cups and spatulas. “I was baking seven batches of brownies, some for 99 line Christmas to take home with them for everyone else. Lost track of time but they are all in my ovens.”

Quickly rinsing off your hands and dusting your apron of any flour, you moved towards her with a small hop in your step. Sona raised a brow and tilted her head to the side in curiosity.

“Okay, so I know you said I shouldn’t have to, but I got you a gift for Christmas.” You smiled at her, hearing a scoff and shaking her head.

“You are ridiculous, but I…did do the same.” Her features broke into a smile, dropping her head with a huff. “Let me go grab it.”

You cheered as she hurried out and you sprinted down the hall to get the recently wrapped gift box. It was placed atop the pile of presents you needed to take up to the house, along with your small suitcase since Seokmin and you would be heading here from the house to work through the week between Christmas and New Years.

It was, in fact, the day before Christmas either way. In a little while you’d pack everything into Chan’s car, head to the 99 line party, then head up to the house. You were so lucky that the 99 line settled on a Secret Santa rather than getting everyone present for the gift exchange. You’d have enough time to place everything under the tree at the house with the rest of the gifts then crash before the festivities started.

Over a week ago, a sealed envelope was given to you by one of SVT’s men who stated it had been delivered by one of ATZ’s people. It was a note that told you who your gift was for, which ended up being Yeosang, and that there was a five hundred dollar spending limit. Wooyoung had texted the groupchat to start gift hunting and they could figure out a day to chill another time and exchange.

You sat at the kitchen island as your pans of brownies baked, drumming your fingers over the box until your door opened once more. Sona walked in with a simple gift bag, tissue paper sticking out along with an envelope.

“I want to admit that one part of this gift here is for both of us on my dime.” She commented and you chuckled, motioning her over.

“Not a problem.” You slid the box over to her once she sat down and she placed the bag in front of you. “You first, Sona.”

Sona huffed, smiling gently as she tore off the purple wrapping paper and opened the box, letting out a laugh at the contents. One after another, she pulled out five large makeup pallets you had ordered. They were new releases, you stayed up a few nights on their drop dates and spent a good bit on them. Thankfully, for once, you weren’t overly worried about the cost you spent.

“Damn, how did you know?” She opened each of them, loving over the wide variety of colors and shimmers she could use.

You grinned, resting your elbow on the table and your head in your hand. “When you did my makeup for the gala and the ball, you always had the newest pallets in your case from these brands so…ta-da!”

Sona closed the pallets, stacking them nearly and nodding her head towards the gift bag. You took the envelope out first and placed it down, digging to pull out the bottle of wine. Your eyes ran over it, seeing the date, an older, definitely expensive bottle from France from what you could tell. Once you were content with the wine, eyes having looked over every inch, you reached for the envelope, practically vibrating in your spot.

“No way!” You read over the papers, beaming from ear to ear. “You did not.”

“Oh I did.” Sona giggled, watching you continue to read. “I think after all this shit, we both need it.”

“Three days, two nights, all inclusive spa resort for four- Wait. Four?”

“So, it was mainly for you and I, but there was a deal for four people and I thought you could bring Gahyeon or one of the other girls and I could bring Lex, all on me.”

“That sounds…” You paused, narrowing your eyes as a mischievous grin spreading on your face. “Lex, Huh?”

“Not this again, Mouse, we are just friends.” Sona groaned, dropping her head. “Nothing is going on between us.”

“Mhmm, nothing. Keep telling yourself that, babes. Nothing yet.” You winked but opened your arms for a hug.

Sona pulled you into a hug, resting her head on your shoulder, holding you tightly. “Thanks, Mouse, and Merry Christmas.”

You sighed happily, rubbing her back. “Merry Christmas, Sona. I’ll see you after New Years.”

She moved back, holding onto your forearms gently, looking at you almost with a hint of melancholy in her eyes. “First vacation in a while. I dunno, I might miss hanging out with you.”

“You’ll make me blush.” You swooned dramatically. “Enjoy your vacation and your new makeup pallets…Tell Lex I said Hi.”

She rolled her eyes. “We’ll schedule the weekend for the spa trip after the holidays.”

“Oh for sure.”

Sona gathered the bow into her arms and bid you a goodbye before leaving. One glance at the timer for the brownies told you that there was plenty of time to change and throw on a little makeup. You were pulling the brownies out of the oven when Chan came in. With haste, you placed them aside to cool and hurried over to greet him gleefully. He explained that he borrowed Minghao’s SUV since he was already home to take whatever you had to the party to the house. When he ended up seeing just how many assorted boxes needed to be brought, Chan asked a few of their men downstairs to help. You were so glad you baked more than just brownies recently, offering them a whole batch of cookies when they took the last of the boxes. The men took the container at your insistence and you could see their barely there smiles as you wished them a happy holidays.

The moment the brownies seemed cool enough to transfer, you divided them into the extra containers you bought and set off towards the small restaurant Changbin chose for the evening, or well – he booked the entire place. Main reason you brought the brownies was for them to take home to their groups since you couldn’t do anything else for them.

You grabbed the present for Yeosang out of the back, grinning to yourself at the item inside. It took a few minutes to simply find the item, surprisingly, but two weeks to arrive at your doorstep. You received it in the mail the previous night and scrambled to get a box and wrapping paper together to wrap it.

“You good?” Chan pulled his own simple box from the car, an unknown gift for an unknown Secret Santa.

Giving a nod, you stood beside him with the brownies in a bag and the present. “You’ll be okay to drive later?”

“Mhmm. I’m not drinking tonight.” He bumped his hip against yours, locking the car as you both strided into the restaurant.

“Merry Christmas!” Wooyoung nearly barreled into the two of you, placing a sweet kiss to your cheek and a gross wet one to Chan’s.

“Ew! Fuck off.” Chan wiped his cheek off, cringing and frowning. “You kissed her all nice and kissed my cheek like you are a dog.”

“Because I treat women well.”

“That is a lie.” Gahyeon strided over, dressed down in a sweater half tucked into light jeans. “You treat Mouse like a lady sometimes and me like you are an annoying little brother.”

“And I still treat you better than I do the rest of these idiots.” Wooyoung hummed, nodding his head back towards the others. “Come on, let's sit since food is gonna be ready soon.”

You happily greeted the rest of the 99 line, giving hugs and big squeezes. You placed your present on the wall behind you, taking a seat between Yeosang and Yeonjun, teasing the former for his bright dyed orange hair. He explained that he lost a bet but even then it did look good, which Yeonjun appreciated.

The food was amazing, the minimal staff was amazing and attentive, and you were glad to have a simple night. Chan had informed you in the car that they had security watching the perimeter of the building, the ground understanding the anxiety you had being in public, even if all of them were more than able to protect you. Some were drinking, you agreed on a glass of wine as you ate and Chan kept his word that he wasn’t drinking, along with San, Mingi, and Wooyoung.

San and Yunho were on a tangent about some event in League of Legends, specifically the TFT side, and it was getting loud. Wooyoung joined the conversation and Yeosang sighed, shaking his head at their over the top behavior. You chose to stay quiet since you hadn’t used your computer to play any games in a while, leaning into Yeosang’s space when Yeonjun got involved, wanting to preserve your hearing. They went on for a while as dinner was eating. Wooyoung almost threw a piece of bread, which Changbin stopped, and you were glad they were mostly sober, minus a drink or two.

“Okay, you guys are getting overly rambunctious.” Chan spoke up, grinning despite their lively, weird banter. “Presents before dessert?”

With the questions posed, the main course was quickly finished and plates were taken away. Everyone grabbed their presents, eyeing each other to make guesses at who was whose Secret Santa.

“Whose first?” Mingi gazed about, leg bouncing with pent up energy.

“Youngest or oldest?”

“So Gahyeon or Wooyoung?”

“Oh, I wanna go!” Gahyeon placed the small, square Swarovski box on the table, smiling wide. She handed the bow closed box across the table to you. “I was lucky enough to get Mouse for this.”

You laughed through your nose, taking the present and undid the bow, gingerly opening it. Inside, you laid your eyes on a cuff bracelet, silver in an infinite style band design. You lifted it from the box, letting out a small hum of amazement, examining the crystals in their settings. You undid the hinge clasp and slid it around your wrist.

“ ‘Hyeon.” You pouted, lifting your eyes to meet her wide, bright gaze. “It’s so pretty, thank you.”

The woman continued to smile across the table, eyes shining in the lights. She lifted her arm and pushed her sleeve up, revealing the same bracelet in gold around her wrist. You whined, bringing your hand up to your heart and pouted even more.

“Now you can never escape me.” She winked. “Your turn to give your gift.”

“Oh, yeah.” You lifted the rectangular box from your lap and handed it over to Yeosang beside you. “This is for you.”

His eyebrows raised in surprise but a shy smile made its way onto his lips. He tore the paper and balled it up before lifting the lid on the box. You watched as his eyes widened at the limited edition skateboard with black and red designs all over it with matching grip tape. Yeosang took it into his hands and you moved the box to let him examine it thoroughly, flipping it over in his hands.

“How did-”

“At karaoke you said that you like to collect them and ride skateboards so…” You shrugged. “I had Channie help with the colors.”

He thanked you, a breathy chuckle leaving him and a wide, timid smile continued to spread on his lips. “I’ll make sure it gets good use.”

Yeosang’s gift ended up being for Wooyoung, who had a few people eyeing the latter as he snickered but was thankful for the large designer duffle bag within the packaging. Yeosang said that his old one was getting messed up since he needed to travel a lot. Changbin was next to receive a gift. Wooyoung’s present to him was a thin but large box and Changbin was confused as he unwrapped it. Once the top was off, he scoffed but smiled broadly, pulling a nicely framed, signed horror movie posted. Wooyoung went on to say that he knew it wasn’t a part of the already existing collection so…

Changbin’s Secret Santa was Yeonjun, who was gifted a pair of simple diamond earrings since the latter lost his first pair when traveling and was bummed since they were a gift from Soobin. San was given his gift from Yeonjun, a three piece suit, designer of course, in a lovely dark purple color since he looked good in said style and color.

San was given Mingi to give a gift to, which came in the form of a matching ring and chain necklace set due to his love for jewelry. Mingi didn’t hesitate to slide them on happily as he thanked San, grinning wide. The aforementioned man passed his present over to Chan who tore into it with childlike fervor to reveal a pair of shoes, ones you knew he was looking to pre order but decided against it.

Chan was Yunho’s Secret Santa, handing the present over to the grabby hand man. He pulled off the ribbon around it, along with the top, and Yunho took hold of the jacket inside, humming excitedly as the long silhouette came into view. Chan snickers that Yunho’s last long jacket got ruined in a shoot out so it was necessary to get another.

Since Gahyeon was first, she was last to obtain a gift, having waited patiently. Yunho handed the box over and she opened it with hand, gently moving the tissue paper aside to pull out the designer handbag. She thanked him and ran her gaze over it as Yunho spoke up, stating that her old favorite bag fell to pieces from how much she used it, the hand strap even frayed to bits, and he wanted her to have another she liked.

With gift exchanging done and more gratitude passed around (along with many hugs), the staff on duty brought out dessert; chocolate lava cakes with vanilla ice cream. Yeosang asked you where you found the skateboard which you gladly explained, even pulling you your phone to show him. You hadn’t stopped smiling, laughing at jokes that were said, a light, warm feeling in your soul.

Goodbyes weren’t far behind dessert, all wanting to get home since it was getting late, with a big exchange of hugs, cheek kisses, and a promise for a meet up once the New Year started. You gave Gahyeon a tight hug, hearing her giggle as she squeezed you close to her body. She asked one of the others to take a picture of the two of you, to which Yunho took her phone and snapped a few happily. Chanbin asked a member of the restaurant staff to take a group shot, all of you scrunching together to fit into the frame well. All vibrant smiles spread on your faces.

Before you left, you handed out the containers of brownies, warning them that you were going to text other members of their group so the treats were shared, which made a few groan in disappointment.

Between you and Chan, it was loud the entire ride home, which wasn’t a big surprise. Despite how late it was, Chan continued to keep you smiling, through stories and horribly tuned karaoke. You did end up giving him a brownie when he started to beg, laughing as he almost dropped it, twice, while driving. He pulled into the garage to Minghao’s spot, peeking inside to find it quiet and most of the lights off.

He helped you as quietly as possible to take all the presents from the car, almost tripping over other gifts in the living room. You gave Chan a hug, whispering to sleep well and that you’d see him in the morning. He trailed you to Jeonghan’s room before wandering off towards his room.

Slipping into the room, you could hear the soft breathing from Joshua but saw the dimmed light of Jeonghan’s phone. His head shot up at the click of the door and you padded over to the closet with a wave at him. You changed quickly then disappeared into the bathroom to clean off your face and brush your hair. There was a quiet grumble of your name, you rolled your eyes as you flicked the light off and made your way over to where your boyfriends laid.

“Welcome home.” Jeonghan muttered, pulling you into his hold, letting you climb over him to the spot in between.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” You slipped under the covers, feeling him snuggle into your side.

“Was worried about you. You didn’t answer my texts.”

Placing a kiss to his forehead, you sighed and ran your fingers through his hair. “Sorry… Chan and I were having fun bullshitting. You can go to sleep now.”

He huffed, planting a kiss on your jawline. “Can I be the big spoon?”

“You wanna-?” You snickered and nodded, feeling his arms loosen so you could turn over.

He tugged you to his chest and you reached out to pull Joshua into the pile. The second man made an unknown sound but his body easily shifted to curl up with the two of you.

“Merry Christmas.” You muttered into Joshua’s hair and knocked out not long after.

“Wake up! It’s Christmas!”

You, Joshua, and Jeonghan were violently startled awake by Jun yelling into the room. When your groans of disapproval started, he jumped into bed across all of you. Jeonghan hit his back weakly while Jun laughed with childlike enjoyment but whined. Joshua pushed him away and you struggled under his (light) weight crushing you.

“Everyone got to sleep-in this year, wake up!” He rolled over and off the bed, checking his phone. “Almost nine in the morning, get up!”

Through the door, you could make out Soonyoung cheerfully yelling into someone’s room. Jun grinned once more before he scurried out, leaving the door wide open.

“I’m gonna kill ‘em.” Jeonghan pressed his face into the pillow. “Violently. Murder.”

“He’ll enjoy it too much.” Joshua replied, an arm over his eyes as he continued to wake up.

“I hate that you’re right.”

Reluctantly you sat up, brushing some hair out of your face and flattening the rest down. You contemplated whether you’d change but looked down at your (Jeonghan’s) flannel pajama pants and t-shirt (Joshua’s) and only decided on throwing a sweatshirt over it. Both of your boyfriends followed out with Joshua dragging blankets off the bed and trudging out to the living room, stealing the loveseat for the three of you. Seungkwan, Vernon, and Chan were huddled together on the couch, bleary eyed but awake enough to be coherent. You sat half on each of your significant other’s laps, both cuddling into your sides.

“Mouse,” Chan pouted. “Can you make hot chocolate?”

Giving a pat to both Joshua’s and Jeonghan’s heads, you gleefully stood despite their whines and set off to the kitchen on a mission. You set up quickly to make everyone a cup of something, keeping in mind who liked theirs extra sweet or didn’t want it at all. Chan did end up helping you pass out the wide assortment of mugs, even helping toss some mini-marshmallows into them. Members were still emerging from their rooms but accepted the sweet drinks to warm their bones before the massive stack of gifts were open.

“Merry Christmas!” Mingyu skipped over, a devious smile on his face, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

He pulled you close to his side, opening a different cabinet beside the mugs. “Would you look at that! Mistletoe!”

Not giving you a moment to react, Mingyu pressed a big, wet smooch to your cheek. You squealed when he didn’t let up, laughing when Seokmin appeared at your other side, doing the same.

“Ridiculous!” Swatting both away, they simply grinned.

“Two Mistletoe kisses for Mouse!”

“Take your drinks and stop being nasty.”

You forced mugs (carefully) into their hands, but you didn’t stop smiling at their antics. Chan took the two for Jeonghan and Joshua while you walked over to the half awake, pouty leader, handing him a mug. He thanked you with a lazy side hug and a grumble, plopping down on the couch. You joined your boyfriends with your drink, humming at their warmth and the mug in hand.

“Alright, teach me a very SVT Christmas.” You motioned aimlessly at the tree and gifts.

“Typically…” Minghao yawned, taking a sip of the tea you made him instead of hot chocolate. “It’s a free-for-all thing but since it's your first major holiday with us, I think we are going easy.”

“Mouse should open all her gifts first!” Seungkwan smiled wide, resting his head on Vernon’s shoulder.

“Mmm, if we do that, you all need to open your presents from me then you can have your wild free for all.”

“Deal!” Sooyoung beamed.

“He is the worst of all,” Joshua complained, groaning. “Last year he fucking bit me.”

“Huh?” You looked at Soonyoung in disbelief but he didn’t deny it. “No biting for fuck sake!”

Soonyoung almost looked…disappointed. Weirdo.

“Okay!” Jun interrupted, clapping his hands together. “Mouse’s presents.”

He grabbed each of your gifts with called-out help from the others saying which were for you, an almost scary sized cluster of boxes. Jihoon laughed at your shocked expression, pointing like a child.

“The fuck, guys…” You said, slipping onto the floor in front of the pile, taking in the plethora of boxes.

“Open them~” Jeonghan encouraged and with smiles all facing you, you reached for a gift.

You tore off the (slightly) janky wrapped paper after finding the name, the first from Wonwoo. It wasn’t heavy as you opened the inconspicuous brown cardboard box, snorting as you pulled out the fancy digital camera and the accessory box.

“Once everything…settles down, maybe we could go out and take pictures together.” The low, tired rumble of his voice had you nodding in agreement, having seen his camera before.

You set your eyes on the smallest of the stack, a smile square box with a bow holding it together. There wasn’t a giver name, but you were able to see the Cartie etched across the top.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, seeing the gold, diamond bracelet staring back at you. It was thin, dainty, but the metaphorical weight was a lot. You’ve seen them before, expensive, and a dream if you were a millionaire.

You gazed around the room and the moment your eyes met with Seungcheol’s, you knew. There was a subtle shake to his head, almost asking not to point it out as you slid it around your wrist.

“Damn, okay, I’m glad I didn’t go with that.” Mingyu snickered as you moved along to a medium sized, rectangular box.

“I’m terrified of this big square box.” You gave it a light kick and Jun’s shoulder shook with silent laughter.

Minghao panicked when you were a little harsh in peeling off the wrapping paper. “It’s fragile-”

You instantly were gentler, hearing a deep breath leave him. Pulling off the top, you squeaked. It was a gorgeous tea set in a very pale blue-green, mint colored glaze and a seemingly hand painted cherry blossom pattern. Another squeak left you when you found the matching designed cups. Mingaho let out a giggle and you found pouches of hand labeled tea bags of ones he had made for you previously.

“I’m gonna drink the fuck out of these, Hao.”

“Good, I know where to get more.”

The boxes were getting bigger, minus a singular smaller one. You saw a neatly wrapped present with the youngest three’s initials scrapped across it. You dragged it over, noticing the three perk up as you tore off the ribbon and popped off the top.

You bulked at the three, crisply packaged designer bags in three different styles. You really tell who picked out which one based on the varying colors and style. Seungkwan definitely got you the lavender purse with a regular hand strap and a detachable shoulder strap. Vernon’s was a simple black shoulder bag with silver accents. Chan’s was a chrome silver with matching metal chain hand strap to hold it.

“Between this and the clothes in my closet, I’m getting the feeling you don’t like my style.” You snarked, looking over each bag lovingly.

“It could use some help.” Seungkwan teased back and you scoffed, flipping him off.

“Jackass.” You placed the box aside and picked up a sparkly wrapped small gift. “I hope you all know that I know some of you can’t wrap gifts.”

“Team effort.”

“I feel like a kid on Christmas morning with all the aunties and uncles here to spoil their only niece.” You got the paper off, hating the glitter that now stuck to your hands and clothes, but coming face to face with a pair of noise canceling headphones. “I need these with how loud you guys can get.”

“See, I told you!” Seokmin hit Mingyu’s arm, cackling. “Twenty bucks, please.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get it later…”

You moved onto the next gift, turning it about to see Santa Jun scrawled across the side. It was the second largest box in the pile left and you were laughing when you saw the contents. The squished, vacuum sealed face of Gengar staring back at you.

“A giant plushie!?”

“Bean bag chair!” Jun vibrated in his seat, hands shaking happily. “It’s huge, like five feet by five feet.”

You stared at him blankly, slow blinking. “I will never leave it. It’s my new home.”

He grinned, nose scrunching up in a snicker. “Good, that was the plan.”

“Okay, biggest one.” You stood to open it and Mingyu was bustling with excitement.

It was a large entertainment speaker system similar to the ones at the house with a note saying ‘ Movie Night?’.

“Yeah, I think that can be arranged. Another big movie night.”

There was a cheer from some as you reached for a bulky square-ish box. It was heavy and you heard something shift inside. There was a messily drawn tiger and cat face that made you chuckle. There was a lovely record player inside with a very thick stack of vinyls of multiple artists you knew or some you haven’t heard of. The one that stuck out to you at the very bottom of the stack, however, had you on the floor laughing.

“DJ-” You wheezed, “DJ Leaf Blower’s Greatest Hits-”

“Read the number one song.” Jihoon called out.

Flipping the vinyl over, you screamed and laughed harder. “ Ram Ranch Remix?! ” Gasping for air, you held your sides. “I’m gonna pee.”

“ Barbie Girl 4.0?” Minghao raised a brow, reading it once you handed it over.

“Don’t worry about it.” Vernon snorted, a wide grin on his face.

“Come on, one more before ours.” Mingyu hummed, shimmying in place.

Collecting yourself enough to catch your breath and wiping your face, you pulled the last gift close, a black and gold rectangular box. J&J was written on the card and you quickly opened it.

There was an assortment of items inside that you sorted through. Perfumes, clothes, shoes, and so much more. You smelled each new perfume, happy that were similar to your much cheaper ones. The clothes and shoes were matching and you found a note insinuating they were for a night out with them. There was even a new clutch and jewelry to go with said outfits.

“You know, I can’t hug all of you at once-”

“Wrong!” Mingyu yelled while Seokmin cheered, diving at you and talking you to the floor.

A few more joined, mainly Seungkwan, Chan, Jun, and Soonyoung, leaving you squished against the tallest and your best friend. You struggled, clawing at the carpet to try and flee, but you gave up as they started to get up and off of you.

An exasperated huff left you, tired and unable to fight back. “I can’t believe you heathens.”

You stood, ignoring their beaming smiles and chuckles in order to retrieve and hand out each of their gifts. Some were large while others were small, handing them out to some grabby handed adults. Jun helped you move all your things aside as they started one by one opening their gifts starting with Chan.

You had found a humongous otter plushie on sale, knowing he looked like the animal, and a new leather jacket. He laughed loudly as he unpacked the stuffed animal, keeping it tuck under his arm as he took the jacket out. Chan thanked you as Vernon started to open his two packages of similar size tied together with a ribbon, one thin and the other relatively thick box. You had many text conversations with Seungkwan to find something, deciding on a new DJ turntable and a rare, signed David Bowie poster that you got help from Changbin to find. He let out a surprised sound, eyes wide and a grin in disbelief.

Seungkwan opened his gift next, a nice, reliable shoulder bag he didn’t have. Totally didn’t snoop in his room to find out, and a new pair of running shoes since his current ones were falling apart. Mingyu tore into his gift the moment a thank you left the younger man’s mouth, meeting the cheesy Kiss The Chef apron, resting on top of a custom tailored dark green suit. Siyeon had given you a list of all the colors the giant looked good in and you picked the color you hadn’t seen him in a lot. He was ready to strip, standing up to throw the jacket over his black sleep t-shirt, rambling at how much he liked it.

Seokmin opened the box in his lap, gasping dramatically as he lifted the papers in the air.

“Divorce papers?! How could you?” He waved them around before tossing the faked papers on the floor. “I thought you and I were soulmates!”

“I’m sorry,” You placed a hand to your chest, sighing. “But I have found another- two others.”

He fake cried as he rifled through the box more, pulling out the bottles of cologne you found similar to his common ones. He thanked you with a playful kiss to the cheek.

Minghao was next, giggling at the gift you got him. Just as he had given you, a custom tea set rested in the box with little cute, painted frogs on it. Each of the four cups had cartoon frogs with different expressions on them, and it came with a handcrafted frog tea pet. You went on to explain that Jun told you about his love for animated frogs and had a great idea. He thanked you and curled in on himself to take the pottery in.

Jihoon’s gift was harder to find, but the moment you did, you bought it without looking at the price tag (you did later and you died a little inside). It was a limited edition, dark red Ibenez guitar. His eyes lit up as he lifted it from the case, an excited, random sound leaving him as he gazed upon it. He mumbled a thank you a moment before Soonyoung unwrapped his present, laughing loudly at the three piece tiger print pants, shirt, and suit jacket set you bought. He, without a single care, kicked off his pajama bottoms and tugged the new pants on. You made a sound of complaint at his stripping but glad that he enjoyed it.

Wonwoo’s presents were bundled in one, three (four technically) items to add to his computer setup. You were originally going to get him a new graphics card but you walked in on him a few weeks ago taking his tower apart to install…a new graphics card. In the end, you settled on a large, wireless charging mouse pad, a new mouse with a lot of side buttons, and a clicky-clacky keyboard. You matched the brands to ones you knew he had in his current set up, but got a second keycap set if he wanted to change the style out.

Jun’s present was kind of similar to what he got you, funny enough. He got you a huge ass Gengar bean bag…you got him a four foot long Mareep Pokemon plushie. He wheezed in excitement, ripping the plastic off to hold it comfortably to his chest, making a comment that he would cuddle it forever.

Joshua’s and Jeonghan’s presents were quite large, however you added a small gift to match something you had made. Based on their taste, you got Jeonghan a chain bracelet while Joshua got a necklace of similar design. You got yourself a necklace with a mix between both styles to match, but you’d tell them later.

Along with the jewelry, you got Jeonghan a huge lego set to work on during the holiday. He expressed wanting to build one again and not knowing what to do with his time when you went to work during the week with Seokmin. For Joshua…you got a life sized model of Ichigo’s first sword from Bleach, one of his favorite anime. Both looked thankful but overjoyed admiring their gift.

Last but certainly not least, Seungcheol held the box in hand, larger than his palm but still small. You, with the encouragement from Jeonghan, snuck into his room to find a decent gift idea for the leader. He had a large collection of watches of varying brands, styles, and types, you took as much time as you could to find something online before rushing out.

Seungcheol’s gummy smile could be seen as he popped the lid open, removing the rose gold Rolex watch. He looked it over with quiet enjoyment, hastily sliding it around his wrist, surprised it fit well since links usually needed to be table off. You…won’t tell him you took one of his and returned it to its original place with the help from Chan.

You asked everyone if they liked their gifts and the chorus of affirmation and thank yous followed. Soonyoung got up, still sporting the tiger pants, and quickly started to pass out presents. You moved out of the way, dodging a box tossed Jeonghan’s way. Sitting with your back to the foot of the love seat, you watched as chaos ensued.

Wrapping paper, bags, and box tops littered the living room. Excited screams and loud conversation filled the space as more presents were thrown. You wanted to help in some way, taking on the duty of collecting the trash, making a neat pile for easy clean up once everything was done.

It was outrageous but also so heartwarming to see the happiness shared. While Jihoon wasn’t physically affectionate, he let Mingyu give him a tight hug and Jun to ruffle his hair. Seokmin practically jumped into Seungcheol’s lap when he opened the present from the leader. Jeonghan and Joshua nudged shoulders at their own exchange. You hugged your knees, continued to watch them, your… family, living in the simple pleasures of a normal life moment.

When gifts were finished, Mingyu and Minghao took charge in fully cleaning up, which became a group effort. You snuck into the kitchen to start on the even larger breakfast, finding Joshua at your hip not long after. Between breakfast and dinner later, you didn’t mind the thought of spending the whole day in the kitchen. You even had something…special up your sleeve for dinner.

“Why is there mistletoe down here?!” Joshua asked, opening a bottom cabinet. You sprinted around the kitchen, sliding on your socks to plant a kiss to his cheek.

“Joshua one!” You sprung up, calling out to Mingyu who whooped loudly.

Joshua rolled his eyes but stole a kiss from you when he stood before letting you get back to cooking. With help from Seokmin and Chan, breakfast was a mix of food from pancakes to hashbrowns. Despite the time, everything ended up being more brunch items, but everyone looked satisfied with the spread of sweet and savory.

Some gifts were moved from the living room to make space for the full bellied bodies and movie watching. Jihoon sat with the guitar you got him, tuning it with practiced precision. Seungkwan was sitting on the couch with Jeonghan, snickering over the gifts they got each other; a nice set of jackets for the younger man and two sets of imported wine for your boyfriend. Everything was calm and domestic.

You could hear an annoyed shout from Minghao as Soonyoung and Jun pecked him on the cheek when mistletoe was found in the linen closet. They both shouted the count then ran from the assassin. You, on the other hand, started prepping items for dinner, chopping many vegetables, positioning out so much chicken, and making some (a lot ) of dough. Their background noise was comforting, hearing them laugh and chatter. After being on your own for a while, this was a change you knew you needed.

“Mouse, come join us.” Jeonghan called, peering over the back of the couch, pouting.

“I’m almost done here.” You hummed over your shoulder, placing the prepped items in different containers.

“Mouse-” He whined and you shot him a playful glare, moving to wash your hands.

He was grinning at you with a gaze full of love and infatuation as he watched you move about. You shook your head and moved over to him once you were finished. Seungkwan ran off somewhere else, leaving a space next to Jeonghan that you were going to fill, but he pulled you into his lap, kissing your cheek a few times.

“Are you having a good Christmas?” He whispered, watching as you looked around the room.

You took in a deep breath, smiling with a nod as your eyes settled back on him, taking in his features. “I am.”

Once more, you looked around, seeing the holiday joy, bright vibes, and the love between everyone.

“I’m glad that I ended up tangled with you guys, Hannie.”

Dinner was a much bigger affair than you had previously thought. You were kinda warned that you needed to dress up a little, but you laughed, seeing some of them in some of their best outfits, recognizing some from the gala. You did throw on a dress Joshua got when you moved into your new home, long and classy but not long enough you needed shoes. Soonyoung had the tiger suit jacket that you got him and Mingyu wore the lovely dark green suit with lots of ostentatious jewelry. The entire scene was comical the more you looked them over head to toe.

The only explanation you were given as to why this dinner needed nice outfits was that someone had made a joke once that everyone should dress up extra nice just to have a home cooked meal and hang out. Some took it to the extreme with Seokmin and Chan walking out in brightly colored outfits and horribly clashing patterns, making everyone die laughing. They looked like eyesores. Joshua decided to go similar to Mingyu, hands and neck littered with lots of over the top jewelry.

You were happy the dress you brought wasn’t bothersome to keep cooking, quickly tossing on an apron to assemble the individual chicken pot pies and getting them in the oven. Minghao, Jun, and Seokmin were finishing up their own dishes that wouldn’t clash too much with what you were making.

Pulling open the cabinet with the serving dishes you opened earlier in the day, you gasped, cursing under your breath. You tried to close the cabinet quickly but Minghao’s hand stopped you. He giggled but placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, only for Seokmin to dive in and kiss your other one.

“Mouse two!”

You grumbled and turned to find Mingyu’s playful gaze. “How did you manage to change the spot?!”

“Dumb question, I changed more and hid more so everyone be prepared.” He grinned. “So far, Mouse has four, Hao has two, and Joshua has one.”

“How the fuck…” You whispered, huffing as you went back to cooking, exasperated, “Someone set the table!”

Jihoon, Vernon, and Wonwoo worked on setting the table, happy to help since they were…pretty useless when cooking. Working with Jun, you got everyone’s ramekin out of the oven and to the table. You gave a warning that it was scolding hot so on one should touch them right away. Hao and Seokmin got the rest of the dishes plated and to the table and soon you were sitting down to eat with everyone.

Seungcheol took a peek at the dish before him then to you, raising a brow since he knew exactly what it was. You only gave him a wink as everyone started to grab more food and dug into the meal. Seeing the satisfaction on everyone’s face was enough to get you all giddy and a fuzzy feeling settled in your chest. Your grandmother would be over the moon to see more people enjoying her recipes. You knew you were happy for her.

“Can we do a big family picture after?” Seungkwan looked down the table, addressing everyone. “I think we all look amazing enough.”

“Ostentatious, you mean?”

“Oh yeah. I want this framed for my memories. Plus we had stupid matching pajamas last year thanks to Jeonghan. And we have Mouse with us.”

“I want a picture of all of us.” You hummed, chiming in as you smiled to yourself. “My first Christmas with all of you.”

“We can take it by the Christmas tree!” Soonyoung was excited, hummed with joy.

“That would be great.”

Those who didn’t cook, cleaned, leaving Minghao, Jun, Seokmin, and you to relax. Seungcheol opened the fridge, yelling out at Minghao as Chan kissed his cheek dramatically. You shouted out his couch, laughing as the leader wiped his face. With time, you moved any presents laying around away from the tree to make room for everyone. Seokmin scurried off to get his camera and tripod to take the picture.

Everyone piled in, tallest of course in the back and you secured a place standing in front of Joshua with Jeonghan and Seungcheol on either side of him. Seokmin called out that he was setting a timer, wanting everyone to post while he ran to his spot. It took three tries and two poses later for the group of you to be satisfied with the effort. You snickered, asking to have them printed and framed to keep with you at home.

“I’m getting out of my suit and getting back into my pajamas.” Jeonghan complained, already almost out of the living room. “Are we watching bad Christmas movies still?”

“Oh yeah.” Vernon followed, heading towards his own room.

“Bring your pillows and blankets I guess.” Wonwoo hummed out a chuckle.

You stayed behind to finish and clean up, watching everyone go to their rooms. Joshua joined you despite his gaudy jewelry and a look that he definitely wanted to change.

“Shua, you can go change, I’ll be there soon.”

“No, no, I want to help.” He stepped close, taking the rings off his hands and pocketed them. “Plus, I get to have a moment alone, in peace, with you.”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him flush against your body. His hands were on your waist, gently swaying with you to an unheard tune as he lovely smiled down at you.

“I’m happy you got to spend the holiday with us, and that you are going to spend new years with us, Mouse. Having you here with all of us…God, the guys love you, I love you-” He stopped with his mouth agape, sputtering. “Wait fuck, I didn’t mean to-”

Gently you pulled him down for a kiss, sweet and slow, hoping it began to express the feelings bubbling in your chest. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach when he returned with fervor, feeling him smile against your lips. One of his hands came up to gingerly hold your face, his thumb ghosting over your cheek. He pulled away first, only to chase back to give you a singular small peck to your lips before he bashfully grinned down at you.

“I love you, sweetheart.” Joshua whispered, as if the statement was a secret between the two of you, but you cleared your throat, taking his face into both hands.

“Joshua Hong, I love you too.”

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