#kaur b

[lyricsssdotin]

Sunakhi Lyrics

Singer:Kaur BAlbum:Jung Sandhu Desi Crew… Suit Patiala Shahi att lagdaAtt lagda ae paaya mascara ve Nakk wale koke de kisse fikraanNakhra jatti da bada bhara ve O ve main lakhan deyan dilan di queenAtt king mera tu mundeya Enni sohni te sunakhi teri naar aaVe bhaaga wala tu mundeya (x2) Kudiyan ni naam rakhe aayi BarbieTe mundeya ne London Queen vi Naughty je subah de dil saaf rakh…

[ewokacja-a]

[beyourselfchulanmaria]

You must want to spend the rest of your life with yourself first.

— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

Paul Cupido

Juliet

2022

[nycmixing]

YouTube Music Top Artists // Ravi B + Raymond Ramnarine + Asees Kaur + Jubin Nautiyal + Tanishk Bagchi

[aodmusic786]

Watch "Tu Mile Dil Khile | Stebin Ben | Asees Kaur | Larissa B | Lijo G-Dj Chetas | Latest Hindi Song 2023" on YouTube

[agirlwithglam]

👠 The It Girl’s Confidence Guide 👠

Greetings and welcome fellow apprentice, to thee official It Girl’s Guide to Confidence! this guide will be from an actual experienced person. i have been through a phase where i completely hated myself and genuinely thought i wasn't worthy of good things to becoming so confident and completely comfortable on my own. <3 here are the tips that helped me so much 💗

btw i have a whole guide on self love which i'll add the link of -> HERE.

what is holding you back from being confident? basically ask yourself: what am i lacking that is holding me back from being confident? then work on it. its that easy! something thing that i've done is that i've made a list of what a "perfect" person/ version of me looks like. i've included their personality, intelligence, looks, relationships, mindset and hobbies. so everyday i'm always working towards that and adopting that energy of perfection. but be careful with this! you rly need to have a good self love and self worth to do this otherwise it can bring you down.

affirmations. im ngl this really did wonders for me. every morning i'd either a) repeat affirmations in front of the mirror, or b) listen to affirmations by other people. trust me, it will start to rewire your brain to help you. here is my post on affirmations for self love and confidence. also i highly recommend that you listen to subliminals!

leave. toxic. relationships. the bad people for you will bring you down. good people will hype you up. choose your people.

create a confidence playlist. fill it will songs that make you feel elite and like that girl. if you don't want to create one yourself, you can always search up confidence playlists on Spotify- they have loads of rly good ones.

become obsessed with yourself. cus girlie.. whats there NOT to be obsessed with??

walk, talk, sit, stand with confidence. whatever you do, do it with confidence. when you're walking walk with your chin up and back straight. when your sitting, watch your posture. when your standing, dont slouch- OPEN BODY LANGUAGE. and when you're talking, don't seem unsure or scared, but don't be too cocky/ arrogant. remember: no one is better than you, and you are not better than anyone.

watch helpful videos. for me, the holy grail, the one i'd always come back to and recommend over and over again: thewizardliz and Tam Kaur. let me say that again: THEWIZARDLIZ and TAM KAUR. these are the queens who really taught me to be confident.

alter egoossss. create a new version of you or adopt the energy of another confident icon! i've made a whole post on how to make an alter ego which you can check out.

[spelllingandthemysteryschool]

i think the only genuinely meaningful or profound artwork rupi kaur has ever produced is that one set of photographs of a woman (herself?) in bed wearing menstrual blood-stained sweatpants, holding a hot water bottle to her abdomen, standing barefoot in the shower with blood dripping onto the tiles. i got my first period around the same time she released that project and i still remember what it meant to me to a) see an artist depict menstruation honestly, plainly, and openly as someone who was still new to it & b) realize how angry it made people that she was unashamed of and unabashed about something so mundane. like i remember it got censored on instagram and taken down before it was reinstated and men were sending her death and rape threats en masse and everything. it was very illuminating for me to see as a tween just beginning to awaken to a feminist consciousness

[youphoriaot7]

strength.

The women in our family are rare. Unique, because we can tap into a shared strength. [...] Your collective past. All the women in our family share it. – iris, 1x06.

b. diaz // pinterest // bob marley // product of my own design by artio // oldekvitee // nina cried power by hozier // dead boy detectives [2024] // blossoms by the amazing devil // [can't find credit, please tell me if you know!] // second child restless child by the oh hellos // rupi kaur // dead boy detectives [2024] // beingupile // the fruits by paris paloma // pinterest // who's afraid of little old me by taylor swift // pinterest // annabelle m. ramos // henry miller // product of my own design by artio

[themiumiubarbie]

More YouTubers I recommend watching 🎀

Gina B.

SheraSeven

Tam Kaur

Emily Paulichi

Simone Nicole

Vanessa Faga

Olivia Yang

Kayli Boyle

AlliyahsFace

Zhirelle

Kenna Marie

sophie diloreto

Michaela Bento

Amber Scholl

Samantha Nicole

Bria Jones

[guilty-pleasures21]

Chapter 3 - the ball

Part A

Part B

Warnings: mentions of racism.

----------------------------------------------------------

     She fiddled with her fingers, her stomach roiling as she waited for her turn to be announced to the Queen. Would she acknowledge her? Would she dismiss her without a second glance? Or would she go so far as to make a mockery of her in front of her blue-blooded highborn court? A hand slipped into hers and X looked up to find her mother shooting her a reassuring glance. She sucked in a breath, pushing down her nerves and held her head high. Finally, the doors swung open and she released her mother's hand so the two of them could make their way down the aisle. She kept her gaze lowered as she approached the throne, her attention fixated on not tripping or falling over when she dipped low into her curtsy. She barely heard the whispers and intrigued murmurs rustling through the room as the haughty members of the aristocracy took in this strange foreigner in their midst. 

     “Rise, Miss Kaur,” the Queen commanded her, her voice firm but gentle. “I would like to take a look at your face.”

     X lifted her head, trying not to let her nerves show, but the Queen maintained an unreadable expression as she examined her carefully.

     “Tell me, Ms Kaur,” the Queen continued unexpectedly, “how do you find England?”

     “It is magnificent, Your Majesty,” X replied immediately, knowing it to be the correct answer. “All the art and the culture and the exploration. It is truly a testament to the limitless abilities of the human mind, my Queen.” She refrained from giving a sigh of relief, glad that she'd been able to keep her tone relaxed as she'd forced the lies from her lips - it wouldn't do to have the Queen know how she hated the gloomy weather and the false politeness and the bland and tasteless food. But the Queen just gave her a satisfied smile, seemingly oblivious to her inner displeasure.

     “I am glad you like it, child,” she replied approvingly. “And might I say you look exceptionally darling today, Miss Kaur. I will be keeping my ears open for news of your journey this Season.”

     X swallowed a gasp, shocked to have the Queen herself take such an interest in her! Then her mother nudged her side and the two of them dropped into another curtsey before finally exiting the room. X grabbed her mother's arm once they were out of sight, her eyes wide with amazement.

     “Did the Queen just speak to me, mama?!” she inquired, utterly dazed by the events that had just occurred. “Do you think my responses were all right? She did not appear displeased, did she?”

     “I think not!” her mother agreed, equally as surprised as she. “She seemed rather interested to know how you would fare this Season!”

     This Season, when all her chances at marriage would be squandered by the deal she'd made to help her neighbour - her childhood friend she'd always looked out for. Her insides twisted at the thought of disappointing the Queen - at the thought of yet another challenge that obstructed her path to her happily ever after. But she gave her mother an understanding nod and obediently followed as she led the way to the ballroom.

     He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt as he stood in a corner of the ballroom, waiting for the presentation to be over. Would she be all right? She'd most definitely stand out from all the other young ladies appearing before the Queen today, but would that be an advantage or would it place a target on her head? He hoped she hadn't gotten herself too worked up before her presentation: she'd never been very good at hiding her emotions, every thought racing through her mind showing itself on her expressive features. The Queen wouldn’t like that. His brother placed a hand on his shoulder, sensing his agitation, and flashed him a curious look. “Miguel? What’s wrong? Why do you seem so nervous?”

     “Hmm? Oh, no,” Miguel reassured him quickly, “I’m not nervous. I’m just-” Before he could finish his sentence the steward interrupted him, announcing the arrival of the one for whom he'd been so impatiently waiting.

     “Presenting Miss Kaur, daughter of Lord and Lady Singh.”

     He grinned when he saw her standing at the top of her stairs, her beautiful cotton dress sparkling beneath the bright lights. She looked so stunning in the Punjabi-style dress, the soft white material hugging her ample curves before flaring out from her waist. She smiled when her gaze landed on him, amused to find that he'd already been looking up at her. But then she turned to Gabe and her smile widened when he gave her a little wave. Miguel rolled his eyes at the sight of her excitement and strode towards her, meeting her just as she approached the bottom of the stairs. He held a hand out to her and gave a small bow before fixing her with a playful smirk. “My lady. Would you be so generous as to grant this poor man the honour of dancing with the most beautiful lady in the entire room?”

     She let out a little snicker as she placed her hand in his and Miguel couldn't help but run his thumb over her smooth skin as he led her to the dancefloor. 

     “You flatter me, my lord,” X told him, placing her hand on the edge of his shoulder as they moved into their positions.

     “On the contrary, you flatter me by granting me the privilege of being your first dance partner of the night,” Miguel argued, placing his hand on her upper back before bending over to murmur in her ear. “Just look at all the envious glares I am receiving right now.”

     She glanced around the room, noting the curious - and admiring - gazes of many of the gentlemen present. Her cheeks heated up at the realisation and she lowered her gaze, inching just a little closer to Miguel. He chuckled when he sensed her sudden apprehension and dropped his hand just a little lower down her back.  

     “You should be proud of yourself, princesa,” he praised her. “I am sure you will have absolutely no problem finding a husband once our agreement is over.”

     She couldn't stop the soft giggle that spilled out of her at his words and Miguel felt his heart quicken slightly at the sound. She was … kind of cute, if he were to be really honest with himself. She definitely would not have a problem finding a husband once their deal was terminated. He only hoped it would be someone who appreciated her in all the ways she deserved.

     He hadn't expected his brother to make such a quick beeline for his friend, claiming her first dance almost as soon as she'd stepped into the room. And he hadn't expected his friend to have enjoyed his brother's company enough for her to keep smiling and laughing at whatever he was saying to her either. What could they be talking about? A hand clamped down on Gabe's shoulder unexpectedly, jolting him out of his reverie.

     “Lord Gabriel? Are you all right?” Gabriel glanced over at Lord Charleston, a tall and thin young man with sandy hair and blue eyes. 

     “What?” he replied distractedly, quickly turning his attention back to his brother and their friend. “Oh, yes, I'm fine. I just … never took my brother as one for dancing.”

     Lord Charleston's lips twisted into a mischievous smile at the sight of X, twirling around the dance floor in her gorgeous dress. “Well, when you get the chance to dance with a beautiful woman like that, who wouldn't become the world's most renowned dancer?”

     Gabe frowned, unsure how to feel about the possibility of his brother being interested in their neighbour. He'd always thought he'd just seen her as … well, as his annoying younger brother's annoying little friend. But the way he looked at her - the way he beamed and danced as if all the weight of the world had finally been lifted off his shoulders … It was most definitely not the way you looked at someone you found annoying.

     Felice Orsini grinned, delighting in the thrilled reactions of the crowd around him. They'd been hanging on his every word for the past hour, oohing and aahing as he'd regaled them with tales of his daring escape from Mantua. He'd fled from the prison not long after being thrown into it on charges of treason and had fortuitously found his way to the home of an old friend. He glanced over at Frederick, son of the Earl George Fitzroy of Langford, and sidled over to him when he noticed the look of rage on his features. He followed the direction of Frederick's gaze and found him to be observing a tall and strapping young man sweeping around the dancefloor with an elegant - and rather adorable - young lady on his arm. “Is that him, my lord?” 

     Frederick scoffed, appalled by sight of his half-brother - by the evidence that his noble father had somehow fallen prey to the charms of some brown-skinned seductress. This was the man - the savage - who thought he could just waltz into high society and steal his inheritance from right under his nose?! The abomination over whom he'd heard his mother weeping over every night when he'd been but a child? “Indeed.”

     Felice squinted at the dancefloor, trying to get a closer look at the dancing couple. “And who is that young lady he is dancing with? They appear to be quite familiar with one another.”

     “Who cares?” Frederick huffed as his gaze fell on X, her smooth skin equally as tanned as his half-brother's. “All these filthy foreigners flooding our country. If my father had been King you could be sure that all of them would be relegated to their positions at the bottom of society! Exactly where they belong!”

     Felice rolled his eyes, amused by his pale-skinned, blond-haired, green-eyed friend's impassioned ranting. The young Earl had always held a deep resentment for the Queen, steadfast in his belief that his father - the eldest son of the previous King - should have been crowned the next monarch, in spite of his illegitimate origins. And yet, here he was, arguing that the illegitimate son of his own father be denied his share of their inheritance. He gave Frederick a pat on the shoulder, then steered him towards a faraway section of the ballroom. “Enough about that, my friend. Let us go search for your own bride tonight, yes?”

     Miguel strolled back over to his brother, the leftover adrenaline still rushing through his veins as he came down from the high of his dance. He'd never been one for dancing despite his mother insisting that he be trained in it as every other member of the gentry was expected to be. But the way she spun around in his arms, relaxed, effortless … Perhaps there was something to this dancing nonsense after all. He raised an eyebrow at his brother, still tucked away in a corner of the ballroom with his friends. “You aren't going to dance tonight, hermano?”

     Gabriel grabbed his brother's arm as he walked past him, doing his best to maintain a polite smile even as he hissed at him through gritted teeth. “I told you not to speak like that in public, brother.” 

     Miguel rolled his eyes at his brother's continued attempts to wipe society's memory of his mixed parentage. “My apologies, brother.”

     Gabe released his grip on Miguel, ignoring the sarcasm in his tone, but he kept his gaze trained on X, his expression curious. “Why were you dancing with X?”

     Miguel raised an eyebrow, inexplicably irritated by the innocent question. 

     “I know her,” he replied gruffly. “And besides, it was her first dance of her first season - I did not want her to feel uncomfortable.”

     That sounded more like his brother; unintentionally looking after X as if it meant nothing to him. So perhaps he hadn't suddenly become interested in her overnight, once she'd reached the eligible age of marriage. 

     “Right,” Gabe agreed, feeling bad now that he hadn't thought to check in on his friend after her presentation. “I should probably help put her at ease as well.” He walked over to the dancefloor and waited patiently at the edge for the current dance to be over. Then, when X and her partner had showered one another with their thanks, he stepped forward, his elbow angled towards her in question. X grinned and curled her fingers around him, her stomach flipping at how handsome he looked in his navy blue waistcoat. 

     “Gab-” she cut herself off quickly, remembering how particular her friend was about using the formalities when in public. “Lord Gabriel! How nice to be able to enjoy your company this evening!” But now she couldn't help but think about how she and Miguel would always address one another so informally when they were alone, no matter if they were out in public.

     “Good evening, my lady. Would you like a refreshment?” X nodded in agreement and Gabriel began leading her over to the drinks table. “A rather … bold choice of dress, my lady. But it suits you.”

     Before, she would have been thrilled by the praise, completely ignoring the hesitant pause before the ambiguous compliment. But now, that minute bit of silence was filled with the reminder that Miguel had immediately told that she was the most beautiful woman in the room and that he - one of the most sought-after bachelors thanks to his devilish good looks - appeared paltry in comparison. She followed after Gabe, the bright smile plastered to her face faltering at the ends at the realisation. “Thank you.”

Continue

[no1butchlover]

oooo okay !!

tagged by @notsosweetlez

> rules: pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people

N - NO!NO!NO! by Shihatsu-machi Underground

O - OTONABLUE by ATARASHII GAKKO!

1- 1 of 1 by Shinee

B - Bonamana by Super Junior

U - Unnatural by WJSN

T - Trash Me by Payrin

C - California Girls by Katy Perry

H - High School Sweethearts by Melanie Martinez

L - Lali by Fifi and Young Zerka

O - One Love by Monsta X

V - Ve Maahi by Arijit Singh & Asees Kaur

E - Eleven by Khalid (feat. Summer Walker)

R - Rainberry by ZAYN

tagging: @lesbianp1lled @babydarkstar @bigmeansweatydyke @intothewings @182cmdyke @femalemalice @femgirlfriend @midwestemoboyfriend @mareshida @isleofijbol @tubular-wave-jpg @ayeeyo1 @mrdyketator

[lyricsssdotin]

Surma Lyrics

Singer:Kaur BAlbum:lopon sidhu Maar diyan addiyan jo ambran di hikk teLagg laaya mela jihdi insta di pic teSuit suit karde aa lakh lakh deSukh naalon husn bhatera Ve ankh jihdi mangge surmaMangge surma jatti mangdi aa saath jatta teraVe ankh jihdi mangge surmaMangge surma jatti mangdi aa saath jatta teraVe ankh jihdi mangge surma Gucci mere pairan ch te tainu sar chaadeyaMera chann tu mere…

[pinkbowmuse]

want to really glow up?

here are some tips && tricks for that !

section a. massaging : helps with anxiety, tension, headaches, relaxation and much more

I have found that with lymphatic drainage massages really help me the most. Here is one of the many great lymphatic drainage massage I have found that has done wonders:

TheMoments on YouTube

section b. mindfulness : to have a good mindset will send you on your way to glowing up. listening to people that talk about mindfulness and advice helps a lot.

Here are the many YouTubers I watch:

TheWizardLiz on YouTube

TamKaur on YouTube I have heard she also has a podcast on Spotify

Persephonesmind on YouTube

section c. discipline (working out, staying on schedeule) : discipline plays a big part in life, not only for knowing your schedule for when to study, but for also going to the gym, having a schedule will help you in the long run. Not only does the gym help you with your goals, but it helps you stay consistent.

Here are some workouts that I do

Lidia Mera she does workouts like Pilates

don’t forget to stretch!!

Pilates workout from the group IVE

Full body workout from the group Le Sserafim

section d. learning : learning can sound daunting, however it is quite the opposite. as human beings we need to be constantly learning things, even if that makes uncomfortable or unsure. we should push ourselves to be more open, to do the things we don’t like to do. keeping our minds curious.

For this I say, learning a new language is beautiful. It can be any of your choice. Also, you may also read books. No matter the genre read from classics to horror, you will learn new words, how to write and more knowledge than before. In addition, learn your history. Know what’s going on in the world. Search up on YouTube about where you’re from or where your family is from.

section e. healing the subconscious : in many of our minds we are unaware of what goes on in the subconscious which can cause negative thinking and blockages to occur.

What I have done to heal my subconscious is to listen to meditations, listen to frequencies and if you’re more of a listener to sounds while you sleep I have just the thing.

Here is a sleep hypnosis from Michael Sealey

Playlist of frequencies on Spotify

Healing subconscious as you sleep, by listening. Also can be listened to while awake

section f. hormonal balance : in society many people are dealing with pms. research has shown that healing your hormonal imbalance will help.

Vitamins that help: Magnesium and Chromium picolinate

Teas: peppermint tea, black tea, and chamomile tea.

Also keep in mind, sleep has a lot to do with many hormonal imbalances make sure you get your full hours of sleep.

Dieting can help as well, having an inflammatory diet can work wonders. Furthermore, cutting down on sugar, not meaning you can’t have sugar, but having it in moderation.

More with pms, learning more about your cycle and your needs helps in many ways. I recommend watching Tam Kaurs video about it link here !

yay you made it to the end, thank you for reading your guide to glowing up, getting better and being mindful. you got this and I believe in you <33

[magnoliaspringsrp]

MWM and MWF over 25 please?!

Males: A.J Saudin, Alex Landi, Avan Jogia, Charles Melton, Chase Stokes, Dacre Montgomery, Diego Boneta, Grant Gustin, Jacob Anderson, Jacob Artist, Jacob Elordi, Kieth Powers, Kiowa Gordon, Lucien Laviscount, Ncuti Gatwa, Rafael Silva, Ronen Rubinstein, Sean Teale, Aaron Tviet, Brant Daugherty, Ben Levin, Brian Michael Smith, Casey Diedrick, Chace Crawford, Charles Michael Davis, D.J Cotrona, Dan Levy, Daniel Sharman, David Castaneda, Jay Hayden, JD Pardo, Jesse Williams, Michael B Jordan, Michael Trevino, Nicholas Galitzine, Taylor Zakhar-Perez, Ryan Gosling, Theo James, Steven R. McQueen, Eric Dane, Joe Manganiello, Pedro Pascal, Sean Maguire, Torrance Coombs, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan.

Females: Adeline Rudolph, Amy Adams, Bianca Lawson, Carla Gugino, Charlize Theron, Danai Gurira, Katheryn Winnick, Lana Parrilla, Laverne Cox, Maggie Q, Alex Daddario, Amber Stevens-West, Brenda Song, Brianne Howey, Candice Patton, Cobie Smulders, Crystal Reed, Daniella Pineda, Nina Dobrev, Candice King, Kat Graham, Emily VanCamp, Hannah Simone, Julia Jones, Karla Souza, Lesley-Ann Brandt, Maiara Walsh, Meaghan Rath, Meagan Tandy, Natalie Morales, Nicola Coughlan, Parveen Kaur, Rose Leslie, Shay Mitchell, Tessa Thompson, Madelyn Cline, Amber Midthunder, Anya Taylor Joy, Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Florence Pugh, Cierra Ramirez.

[paramounticebound]

~ Character Info Sheet

name: Sibahl Khan Noonien Singh

name meaning: 'Khan', often a surname, is derived from the historic title khan, referring to a military chief or royalty. Ruler, leader, king. / 'Noonien' is of Chinese origin and means "gifted one". The story goes that Gene Roddenberry, in the midst of the Cold War, was attempting to find a friend with this name and hoped seeing it on the big screen would enable them to connect again. / 'Singh' is a Punjabi/Sikh surname, derived from the Sanskrit word सिंह (IAST: siṃha) meaning "lion", and is used in the sense of "hero" or "eminent person". ['Sibahl' is rooted from two different sanskrit words: 'singh' which means lion and 'bal' which means strength.]

tl;dr his name is an amalgamation of different cultural roots, while the general meanings remain consistent.

alias/es: The Augmented Prince, The Augmented Tyrant, John Harrison, Captain, Popsicle, KHAAAAN

ethnicity: indian british now ig thanks section 31 ┐('～`；)┌

one picture you like best of your chara:

and his alternate fc b/c i have no chill:

three h/cs you've never told anyone:

His name, I suppose. Learning that 'Khan Noonien Singh' was not the original name for the character sort of set me off, along with the moment in the comic where he took on a new moniker. Sibahl is the name that Sarina gave him, and sometimes he still tastes it in the back of his throat; yet when he'd realized what he must become to lead his people, he shed it in favor of KHAN.

While he fears failure and loss, Khan does not fear death. Truthfully, he finds the concept comforting in a way that words can barely describe. To return to the earth, to stardust, is so unfathomably beautiful-- to continue the cycle of life until it dissipates in entirety. His body will feed the soil, bacteria and carrion consuming all that he has to offer, and so he will live on and on in a way that the soul cannot. He's absolutely written poetry about it, and you'll never get to read it.

When he was a child, he was gifted a khanda by a close friend of Sarina's-- a historian and antique dealer. While it was originally ornamental in design, Khan sharpened and modified it to become a functional weapon.

While I generally consider him unable to scar, a wound from a previous rp partner yet transcends many of his verses. It's a scar just under his rib cage on the left side, vaguely in the shape of a sunburst.

three things your character likes doing in their free time:

Calligraphy-- he misses paper and ink, how his hands long to create instead of destroy.

Playing chess-- a way to destress while keeping the mind sharp.

Whittling-- he has occasionally been known to gift woodwork he's created. Not as often in his current timeline.

eight people your character likes / loves:

Marla McGivers (@sweetbitterbitten): A mad widower does not a worth leader make. Without her, insanity is the best comfort that can be had. With her-- oh, with her, Persephone to his Hades, he is fit to rule in hell. He is fit to drag it wherever he needs it to be.

Fox Alkaev (@vuulpecula): After writing him for so long, Fox has become interwoven into his story, in some way or another. In every verse, he is somehow connected to her.

Sarina Kaur: Mother is God in the eyes of a child.

Joachim: What is a king without an advisor? This is his right hand man and greatest confidant.

Kati: Much like Joachim, he relies on her wisdom, either as a dampener to his righteous fury, or a kindling when blood must be shed.

Liesel Ivanov (@noblehcart ): Who else can dance only to melody of humming stars and thrumming hearts?

His unnamed child from Wrath of Khan/Ender (@middaysandmidnights): His child, his legacy, his lifeblood. The one whom he hopes will endure despite him.

The rest of his crew: without them, he is nothing, a dead end king, a freedom fighter without a cause.

Multiple muses that have melted his icy heart over the years. I'd make a giant post if you'd let me.

two things your character regrets:

Terran exile, and how long it has taken to regain a rightful throne. He wishes that he hadn't relied on the unknown to save them.

Letting any of his people die. Those that have still haunt him, ghosts ever present, continually chanting, "Our captain has left us behind."

two phobias your character has:

Claustrommetaphobia - fear of suffocation in an enclosed space.

Atychiphobia - an extreme fear of failure.

Tagged by : @ssolessurvivor <333

Tagging: @gcldenratio @asteritm @jundlcndwastes (juni!) @hcxcd @noblehcart (liesel!) @lastsurvivor @sweetbitterbitten (whomever you're feeling the most; or marla!) @vulku / @greatprotector @admiralchristopherpike @godresembled (rey!) @whydotheykeeptakingmine @learnedlucidity @hiislegacy @weavefcrged @primitiveside @dethqveen and YOU!

[thoughtsandbones]

The way you ease my trepidation

Kyle 'Gaz" Garrick x F! Black OC (Clarissa Edwards)

Because I keep seeing posts on people excluding our guy Gaz who's LITERALLY THE MAIN CHARACTER YOU PLAY IN MWI and MWII!!!!!

The storyline follows my main fanfic from Part 15 II - Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!MedicDoc OC (codename: Blue) 💀💙

WARNINGS: Profanity, fluff, medical inaccuracies (because all my knowledge regarding medicine comes from Grey's Anatomy and that one stint I did as a first aider)

A/N: This is my first time writing a black character, I've heavily used @writingwithcolor as a guide to ensure I am doing my best to represent the characters. Please do let me know if there are any issues!

Song inspo: 'No Blame' - Christina Chong, Move - Milo Greene, Maan Meri Jaan - King and Nick Jonas, Phantom Studies - Marcel Dettmann and Ben Klock

As Kyle made his way to the RAMC building, Soap's voice echoed in his head.

"Can't feel my legs"

"Lt I'm not gonna make it"

He tightened the grip he had on his vest that he still had not taken off, tainted with Soap's blood when helped Ghost with packing the cellox into the gunshot. Checking his watch it was 12:15pm.

Doc should be done by now he thought to himself as he walked through the double doors, walking past all the medical personnel and straight to reception.

He was met by an empty desk, and looking around the wards he could not see the Doctor nor any other authority figure. Kyle slid his hand into his back pocket retrieving his keycard.

The ambush from AQ when they were in Al Mazrah was something they had not expected, especially not with the kind of hardware they were carrying. State of the art machine guns, snipers, RPGs and up armoured vehicles. All this reeked of Makarov's doing.

Squeezing his fist tighter at the thought of Makarov's smug face made his blood boil. He smacked the reception desk hoping to release some of his built up anger, but it didn't help.

It was then he noticed the big whiteboard behind the desk on the wall and moved closer to it, scanning down the list of patient names until he found John MacTavish, his eyes slid across the row and saw Dr Hari Kaur and Dr Peyton Marie as surgeons assisted by Nurse Clarissa Edwards, Nurse Jenny Mao and Nurse Mikey Way. He then saw he was in the ICU bed 12. Looking down at his all-access keycard, Kyle grinned slightly and made his way to the double doors where the sign pointed ICU.

Once he arrived at the ICU, Kyle made his way to bed 12. There he saw Soap, laying on his back, eyes still closed and intubated. Cables where attached to Soap which were connected to the machines surrounding him, beeping rhythmically. The pipe coming out of his mouth was so unnatural an uneasy sick feeling settled in Kyle's stomach as he stepped closer.

"Soap?" He said, hoping that somehow the Scotsman could hear him and wake-up.

But no answer.

"Jesus" He whispered as he rested his hands against the bed where Soap laid. "You gotta wake up mate" He said nudging his left hand slightly.

Still no response.

Kyle sighed and closed his eyes, running his calloused hands through his hair and scratching the nape of his neck.

"Excuse me, what are you doing in here?" A voice behind him said sharply. Kyle turned, his eyes met a nurse dressed in baby pink scrubs that made her deep sepia skin glow, there was a green stethoscope wrapped around her neck that was crowned by black braids that swayed as she moved closer to him. In her hands she carried a tray with a big bag of liquid with a long thin pipe coming out of it.

"Err.. came here to see Soap" Kyle said, trying to remain cool, straightening up to appear more authoritative

"Dr Marie said I could see him" he lied, hoping she won't pester him...

"Really?" She said, her brown eyes widening, a grin appeared on her face. "When did you speak to her?" She asked moving over to Soap setting aside the tray on the overbed table, and then checked his charts that was in the folder hanging on the end of the bed near his feet.

Kyle cleared his throat. Gotta bullshit my way out of this he thought

"Few minutes ago in reception" He said, smiling at the nurse, trying to look at her keycard to identify her.

The nurse looked up from the chart and at Kyle, and raised her left eyebrow.

"Now, that's a lie as Dr Marie is currently snoring her head off in the on call room."

A wave of guilt and anxiety rushed over Kyle as he was rumbled.

"Err-" Kyle stuttered as he looked around the ICU, shifting his weight before looking back at the nurse who was still giving him a cautious look.

"I'm sorry I lied, just needed to make sure he was okay" Kyle admitted, looking back at Soap.

The nurse slightly relaxed, putting away the charts back in the folder and looked at Kyle as he gazed upon Soap. Her gaze met his and his eyes wandered back to her, she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Alright, five more minutes, I need to give him some meds so you can stay here with me." She sighed moving towards the alcohol gel dispenser, squirting the foam on her hands before rubbing them together.

"Thanks Doc" Kyle said grinning at her

The nurse laughed "I'm nurse Clarissa Edwards, not a doctor" She said "Doctors wear blue scrubs, nurses wear pink or green" She added putting on a pair of pale blue gloves.

"Ah okay, that makes sense" Kyle said, now remembering Dr Kaur always wearing blue scrubs "It's nice to meet you Clarissa, I'm Sergeant Kyle Garrick"

"Nice to meet you too Sergeant" Clarissa said, giving him a big smile. Kyle watched as she moved over to the tray on the overbed table, grabbing the IV bag and hooking it onto the IV stand, and then moved to Soap's right hand, taking the stopper out of the cannula on the front of his hand, inserting a syringe with saline to flush the cannula.

"What's that you doin'?" Kyle asked curiously, peeking over to see what Clarissa was doing

"Just doing a saline flush, making sure any residual medicine is pushed into his vein, and prevents infection." She said, briefly looking over at Kyle's curious face.

"Ah I see" Kyle says "Did the operation go well?" He asked

Clarissa looked up. It was natural and normal for fellow soldiers to be perplexed about medical procedures, especially when their teammates were involved.

"The op went well, Dr Kaur and Dr Marie did their best" She said, not taking her eyes off the cannula as she attached the line of the IV bag.

Kyle hesisted a bit, his left leg began to shake rapidly, the heel of his boot making a rapid tapping sound against the vinyl floor. Clarissa looked down at his foot and then back up to Kyle's concerned face, sensing the oncoming trepidation.

"He got shot in the back" Kyle blurted without thinking, looking at Clarissa, who narrowed her eyes and then returned to the cannula, using an alcohol wipe to clear up the dirt between Soap's fingers.

Kyle wanted to smack his head against the wall. Stupid thing to say, of course she knew that he thought, turning away from Clarissa he rolled his eyes and brought his right hand to his face, running his forefinger and thumb across his brows.

Clarissa took her gloves off, and took a deep breathe in through the nose before exhaling through her mouth.

"The bullet was removed, there was a bit of nerve damage, but Dr Kaur did a neural graft. We won't know the full extent of any damages until he wakes up" She said to Kyle who still had his back to her.

Kyle turned back around

"He said he couldn't feel his legs on the helo" Kyle said, eyes glazed with tears as his mind took him back to the moment in the helo when Soap said those exact words to them.

Clarissa moved away from Soap and then walked around the bed, facing directly towards Kyle.

"You and your team did the best you could, the cellox was a great call, it definitely saved his life" She said, placing her hand on Kyle's shoulder.

Kyle felt a ripple of warmth wash over him as she placed her hand on him, he gazed at Clarissa, who smiled at him, he was struck by her striking beauty and kindness.

"It will take time, at the moment, it is a bit too early as he needs rest to aid recovery" Clarissa stated, smiling at Kyle. "We are keeping an eye on him, and we have the best doctors and nurses around in case anything happens" She added

Kyle's anxiety eased as she continued to reassure him that Soap would be okay.

"I suggest you also get some rest Kyle, I'll give you a call when he wakes up" She said

The continued reassurance and smiles that Clarissa gave him additional comfort. Kyle felt at ease.

"Thanks Clarissa, I'm sorry for barging in and lying" He said, looking guiltily at her

Clarissa laughed and smiled broadly which made Kyle's heart flutter as she gently tapped him on the the shoulder.

"Better get going, don't want to get in trouble" She said

"Ah I won't get in trouble don't worry" He said smiling back as he headed towards the door.

"Not worried about you! I'm saying me! Only authorised personnel are allowed in the ICU, especially not those covered in blood and dirt... no offence" Clarissa said, winking Kyle.

"Shit," Kyle said, realising he dragged his dirty combat boots into the ICU, breaking the clean protocol, he hurried to the door and opened the door, allowing Clarissa to walk through first who had whispered a thank you to him as she passed.

They walked out down the corridor back towards a now busy reception area.

Kyle turned to Clarissa who moved behind the reception desk, grabbing a whiteboard pen before scribbling the names of medicine and time administered on the row where Soap's name was. She turned towards Kyle who was still standing by reception.

"Thanks again Clarissa, you were really helpful" He said, smiling back.

"No problem Kyle, I promise to call you when he wakes up and when I get proper authorisation from either Dr Marie or Dr Kaur" She said, laughing slightly as Kyle widened his eyes at the mention of Dr Marie.

"You won't tell her-" He began

Clarissa's eyes widened and she shook her head as she noticed Dr Jones walk in behind Kyle.

"Clarissa, I need you to check on Miles in ward 3" He said not making any eye contact with her and moved towards the board.

"Yes sir" She said looking at him cautiously as he scanned the board "I'll speak to you later Kyle" She said finally before walking off. Kyle watched on as she walked off

"Bye Clarissa!" He yelled at her and laughed as she turned and gave him another wink.

Kyle walked back out the doors of the RAMC and basked in the sun that shone down on base. Relief washed over him as he took a big inhale through the nose. Checking his watching it was 1:36pm, he had been up for over 24 hours, and decided to take Clarissa's advice of getting some well deserved rest as he headed back to his quarters.

He hoped to see that dazzling smile soon.