#kankri said fuck

[cupid-tune]

EEEEE!! ur art look like how I feel the tricksters would feel like!!!! I would love to see some tricker art from you eventually! Xp

Pov you just woke up what are your last words

[kabutoden]

bug trolls… i am interested in kankri vantas. if that isn’t too much trouble. your buggy guys are so silly and interesting and i am a fan

here is kankri and his baby brother…. they don’t get along!! i wish they did though id love to see these two go on an adventure together where they look out each other. since kankri is a beforus troll and a vegan, his shell is pretty thin because he’s not getting enough iron. on the other hand, karkat’s shell is heavier then it should be due to stress. thanks for the RQ!! im soooo glad ppl like my sillies :D

[badlydrawn-brostrider]

Merry Christmas! I h9pe t9day's 6een adequate f9r y9u. I t99 h9pe y9u find s9me j9y in 9ne 9f my Christmas gifts: a drawing ta6let. I pers9nally d9 n9t Cele6rate the h9liday 6ut I will indulge in s9me min9r traditi9ns. Did y9u get anything that y9u'd wish t9 share? :-)

BRO: Thanks for the present, kid. I appreciate it.

BRO: Got some real nice gifts. A good quality camera to film and a new sewing kit. This has been a pretty good Christmas.

[en8y]

something id like to point out with my hemospectrum role systems is that i added kankri's words for each caste as alternate suffixes cuz i just liked how they sounded. umber. ochre. burgundy. very nice very poetic. and then it turns out he calls limes "yellowgreens" which is where i lost respect for his personal vocabulary

[cringefail-clown]

the difference between karkat and kankri when it comes to their shared aspect of blood is that karkat, as a knight, will protect and cultivate the bonds between his friends and will form connections with others easily due to his empathetic nature, even if said others are fucked up people in the eyes of others (see: his whole deal with spades slick, the way he formed moriallegience with rampaging gamzee), people naturally come into his orbit, meanwhile kankri being a seer doesnt want to create a connection between himself and others, but he wants to understand and study how those bonds work between people, basically looking outside in on the relationships and forming a list of do's and dont's when it comes to cultivating that connection

in other words, karkats that one motherfucker at the party whos somehow friends with everyone here, no matter their background, and everyone fucking loves that foul-mouthed guy, meanwhile kankri is standing in the corner like a creep and nobody knows exactly what his deal is but he knows what everyones deal is and somehow has knowledge of all of partygoers dirty laundry, even if theyve never seen him in their fucking life

[propheticclown]

I need you all to understand. I've seen so many people talk about how Eridan would be slaying the fashion scene. How his fashion sense is awesome and epic, or whatever. NO! Firstly, I wanna preface this by saying that Pesterquest falls under the category of "Dubiously Canon." so his massive closet isn't actually canon. But secondly, LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FIT, MY GUY!

THE DEEP BLUE WITH THE PURPLE??? THE CAPE??? THE HAIR??? BROOOOOTHER!!! THEY EVEN CHANGED THE COLORS OF HIS SCARF AND PANTS TO LOOK BETTER IN PESTERQUEST!

It's subtle but the color shifts towards indigo/cobalt rather than royal blue. "B-But what about March Eridan? March Eridan looks good and is canon!" I don't know how brainrotted you are from buying all your clothes from shien (derogatory) and temu (derogatory) to think that March Eridan looks good, but let me just show you what it looks like again to refresh your memory.

Ignoring the insanity that's even happening with this image in the first place, this IS the Original March Eridan image. Now let me tell you why this fit is more atrocious than Kankri Vantas' takes on feminism. 1. THE COLORS DO NOT WORK!!! His VIOLET symbol combined with MAGENTA arm warmers and thigh highs and a RED SKIRT???? AUUHHG NONE OF THESE COLORS LOOK AESTHETICALLY PLEASING TOGETHER IN A FASHION SENSE!!! NAME ONE TIME RED AND PURPLE HAVE EVER LOOKED GOOD TOGETHER IN TERMS OF FASHION??? 2. STRIPES AND FUCKING PLAID??? WHAT??? IN CARTOONS, MUSIC, BOOKS, AND EVEN FUCKING GAMES, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH "Ew stripes and plaid." IS SAID??? THAT IS LIKE THE NUMBER 1 NONO IN ANY FASHION WORLD!!! 3. AND WHILE THIS ONE IS A BIT OF A STRETCH, THERE IS NO CONVINCING ME THAT ERIDAN AMPORA WOULD WILLINGLY WEAR THIS SHIT! IT JUST DOES NOT MAKE SENSE FOR HIS CHARACTER TO WEAR THIS OUTFIT! FASHION IS A WAY OF EXPRESSING ONESELVES! FASHION, AS A MEDIUM OF ART, IS A WAY A PERSON CAN EXPRESS HOW THEY FEEL ON THE INSIDE! March Eridan as an outfit, artistically expresses confidence, empowerment and a general "I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me" energy. Here's the problem. Eridan at his base components is envious, closed off, emotionally volatile, and a massive fucking nerd, which the old outfit actually does express.

His clothes are long-sleeved, showing the least possible amount of skin he can, which usually can represent being closed off. His cape is large and grandiose, showing that he likes to be exaggerated and theatrical. His scarf indicates his nerdiness, with it being a reference to Harry Potter and how it could be a tie-back to his nerdy love of wizards. The only other outfit he's shown wearing is with a flashback to when he and Vriska were a kismesis.

Here the outfit, even with as little as we see of it, is big and intense. Unlike Vriska, who essentially doesn't change outfits, Eridan puts time and effort into each theatrical performance he considers himself to be a part of. He adores intricate and exaggerated outfits. Things that are fancy, complex, and over-the-top. So that even though he doesn't feel great on the inside, even though he feels as though he's "wworse than evverybody. all the bodies." He can still look well put together. And that's WHY I don't think March Eridan as an outfit works. It's too casual for him. It's not big or flashy in a way he likes. There's not enough for him. It doesn't cover him up and because of that, he'd feel exposed. He's not closed off anymore. It doesn't exude "Eridan Ampora". Who's "most casual" piece of apparel is probably a sweater vest.

Even in the original image, he looks uncomfortable, like he doesn't actually LIKE wearing it. The only way I can find this artistically working from a writing standpoint is if Kanaya made it for him because, in the story, it is shown time and time again that Kanaya doesn't understand Eridan, so by making him this outfit, she'd take it a step further by not even understanding what he likes. Kanaya doesn't understand that Eridan is terrified of being culled, because Kanaya doesn't have to worry about that. Kanaya doesn't understand the pressures Alternian society is forcing upon him, as an Orphaner. Because Kanaya's only societal expectation is raising the new mother grub. Kanaya doesn't think about how he's most likely going to live the longest out of all his friends. Eridan has the second highest lifespan out of every troll blood color, but even then with Feferi, she's most likely going to get culled by the Condense when she's the proper age to inherit the throne. So in Eridan's mind, he's going to be alone, expected to be an Orphaner until the day he dies, utterly alone to feed Feferi's lusus until he eventually succumbs to old age or dies in war. That's why he's so closed off, yet so emotionally grand. That's why March Eridan doesn't suit him from a fashion-artistic standpoint. It's not what Eridan Ampora embodies as a character. Envy.

[conceptofjoy]

yay the post i said id make about the blood aspect and why every vantas exudes blackness. is this a vantas only thing, or a blood bound thing? let me start by saying, you can make white or white coded characters blood bound, that's not what i'm trying to get across. it's just that blood as an aspect, when put through the lens of race specifically in america is just so fucking black.

redirecting you to the karkat specific, "why do i think he's black" thing :)

i get that the extended zodiac is kinda horoscopey, but like just a refresher on blood as a thematic element. you know how the majority of the exposition about the ancestors hinges around the signless and his civil rights movement? the fact that he tried to change alternia sets up the web of characters and reasons for them meeting in the first place.

you literally only need a rudimentary understanding of american history to know about the civil war and the civil rights movement. its not a secret that people who are oppressed form groups to protest their second class status. its also not a secret that major movement leaders get assassinated by people in power to keep that status quo, and their deaths never mark the end of their message. was hussie trying to do an mlk and malcom x parallel with the signless and summoner? LMFAO PROBABLY. that kinda just cements how inescapable race is when you're making an american centric comic.

i can end the post there lol, but here comes the question about where KANKRI fits into all of this... its tough explaining this really, if i call him one of those talented tenth believers to a black person they would just nod and be like ohh yeah... hm.

ok you know how there r some gay cis men who get away with some crazy misogyny but thinks it cancels out because they're gay? there is still something at the end of the day to be gained because they are men. it doesnt matter if they are seen as lesser than, as long as they can "pass" then they can get a spot at the leopards eating people faces party. FOR NOW. nothing that kankri says does he really mean fully. there's something to be gained by telling a woman why are you raising your voice?? when you mow them down with bullshit and they realistically get upset. he's a hardcore lib with conservative leanings.

actually speaking of, the commodification of unity. alternia's a capitalist and colonialist wheel, every instance of comradery comes in the form of quadrants, or how you serve the queen. karkat wants to be a threshecutioner and form bonds that way because he cannot think of anything different. kankri commodifies his own identity so he can be misogynistic and ablest. the signless breaks free from those preconceived boundaries, and tries to instill change to the system.

i dont rlly have a structure for all this or a note to end this on, here are some prev posts from a few days ago where i was thinking about the subject. 1 2 3

[nekropsii]

i would like to ask you what your basis for calling kankri "canonically aroace" is? (other than celibacy which is not a conformation of said orientation as it as has religious ties and can also be an act of purity, not strictly a part of aroace culture)

like I'm genuinely curious where you find it canon?

My basis is that Kankri identifies himself as AroAspec. I have said this many times. I’m not pulling this out of thin air or saying that Celibacy is the same as being AroAce - though in this case I’d argue those things are clearly being attached to one another by means of false conflation, in the same way Hussie was attaching Horuss’s traits of “Otherkin” and “Being a System” - I am repeating the fact that Kankri explicitly identifies himself as AroAspec. He is using specifically AroAspec language to do so.

… And making the argument that since Hussie was being quite mean about it by making his identity not make sense and also stereotyping it quite badly, and also conflating it with Total Sexual and Romantic Celibacy (which are choices), it is best to just take Kankri as fully AroAce, since that was clearly what Hussie was going for. It’s like taking Horuss as a normal System. Horuss and Kankri’s minority identities have literally the exact same problem in writing.

Very interesting how people react to this train of thought, by the way. It’s not a controversial statement to me, I’ve always operated under this mode of thinking, and I do not particularly get why people freak out about it… Especially when people will generally agree with this line of thinking when it’s literally any other identity. If a character is a meanspirited representation of Trans People, then people will generally accept them as a regular, straight up Trans Character. Same goes for if they’re Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Non-White, Disabled…

What’s the difference? Inability to romantically ship them? Easy solution - Just acknowledge that friendship is not only a valid form of relationship but also can be more meaningful than romance for five fucking minutes. Jeez, lol.

Fun Fact: Kankri is the only character whose orientation is specifically identified in words in Homestuck.

[sayakxmi]

I finally got myself together to finish the trolltags/lands I have for the dancestors, that I overthought to hell and back, so why not share. Explanations under the cut!

(Also, I probably should mention that it's all in context of an AU, so if some things are confusing, that's why.)

KANKRI:

vendicateThumomacule [VT] Kankri's original trolltag is, well, grey to hide his indentity, and is actually a small nod to John/June. Hence the letters are VT, absolutely taken from VanTas. Mostly, because ectoBiologist has EB like EgBert. You know how these letters are taken from the genetic code, but John/June ended up breaking from it? Well, Kankri's the opposite here. The very first mutation, someone who didn't belong there, but inserted himself there anyway.

Vendicate means to claim for oneself, whereas Thumomacule comes from two words - thumomancy (divination by means of one’s own soul) and macule, which can be either a) (in printing) to blur, as from a double impression in printing, or b) (in anatomy) another name for macula (a discolored spot on the skin). The second definition refers to his mutation, while the first, I'm kind of thinking about blur/double impression as a reference to The Signless, and seeing visions of another world. Personally, I love the idea that Kankri's always had these visions as well, so that's what I was going for here.

As for constructiveGrievance, I'll be honest, I've seen it once upon a time, I don't know where, and internalized it as his trolltag. He has a lot of grievances, and tries to be constructive about it. (Whether he succeeds is up for debate, lmao).

As for his land, the Land of Conduits and Valves: Conduit: - a pipe or passage for water or electrical wires to go through - reference to Mituna (as I am a huge Captor&Vantas whatever the fuck they have going on enjoyer) - a way of connecting two places - the aspect of Blood - someone or something that provides a way of passing something such as information or payments from one person to another - role of a Seer, but also a small reference to The Signless again, passing information about different worlds between each other Valves - a device that opens and closes to control the flow of liquids or gasses, or a similar structure in the heart and the veins that controls the flow of blood - pretty obvious aspect connection.

In general, thinking about the Seers' lands, they all have somewhat... liquidy feel to it. Rose's has literal rain, while Terezi's land has these thought river-like things on the sky. So I was also thinking about something fluid, and, well, blood.

Kankri's land is pretty similar to Dave's, except there's no cogs or lava, only endless red-and-blue pipelines that are meant to let the blood flow, but the valves aren't letting it, and empty void beneath your feet. It's an extremly unpleasant land.

It's a bit of a theme, actually, that the lands are pretty hostile towards their players here - since the game was tampered wth, Skaia knew early on that this session had no chance at succeeding, so it was quite literally trying to get the players to make The Scratch faster. F.

It's actually quite evident since the get-go, Kankri's land is LOCAV. So. Random fact: I'm Polish. In Polish the way you read V in English is the same as we read W. So I could write it as CAW. A sound made by a crow. And, well. One Crow: bad luck, loss, unpleasant catastrophic changes.

From the very moment Kankri got into the game, it was already lost. RIP.

Also, I've meant what I've said. I aggressively overthought it, lmao.

DAMARA:

acroamaticAcicutie Acroamatic - esoteric - “intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest” - I was thinking about her ability to speak & control ghosts, a medium, but, yeah, honestly, it can also allude to the fact that as far as we know only Rufioh actually understands her speech. Acicula - One of the needlelike or bristlelike spines or prickles of some animals and plants; also, a needlelike crystal. Connected with cutie.

Land of Ponds and Shimmer, well, when it comes to Shimmer I was thinking about light reflecting on crystals, since her Scratch device looked like these music boxes on Aradia's land, so there had to be Some crystals in there. But it can also be the shimmer of the ponds. With ponds, I was kind of thinking about koi ponds? Who's stopping me from there being koi fish, tbh. The ponds are also a reference to Meenah, because, well, water. But also small one to Rufioh, I guess. Also, ponds and reflections (When will my reflection show who I am inside).

In general, Witches lands are, imo, pretty, colorful, and dangerous if you aren't careful. And that's also what I thought about Damara's land - looks very pleasant, but crystals can have some sharp edges, ponds be deeper that it has any reason to etc, etc.

But since all their lands make things difficult for the dancestors, the catch of this one is that it makes Damara homesick. :)

Ah, but here's my favorite part. PAS. Pas is Polish for fold in poker. "Folding simply means to let go of your cards and surrender the pot to another player". Or another set of players. ;>

RUFIOH

agromaniacalTauroboly Agromania - intense desire to be in open spaces Tauroboly - the ritual sacrifice of a bull. I like to think about is as a contrast to Tavros' trolltag, in which Tavros is a bit more of plot’s sacrificial bull, but his trolltag relates to bulls fighting, whereas Rufioh would wreck people’s shit if it wasn’t for his non-existent self-worth & confidence, but his trolltag relates to sacrificing a bull.

The Land of Breeze and Hills has a somewhat simple etymology. All the Breath player we know had some specific type of wind in their land's name (literally Wind for John/June, and Zephyr for Tavros), so I went with something similar. And boy oh boy, is Breeze a reference. Obviously, Breeze relates to water, and that way it references three pretty important gals in Rufioh/The Summoner's life - Damara (ponds), Meenah (a seadweller), and Aranea, or more specifically Mindfang, who was a pirate. As for Hills, Rogues tend to have some rises, like Roxy's pyramids, or Nepeta's... sugar cube pyramids? So I thought about hills for Rufioh to more or less fit it in, very much thinking about"a hill to die on".

BAH is kind of weaker, but at the same time, it gave me some ideas for the land. In several languages it means flood, but in a few others it's an expression of disbelief, disdain, resignation & scorn.

LOBAH is flooded, which is a huge pain for Rufioh, whose wings aren't really good for damp environments. His mobility sure is limited, which kind of sucks. He could probably ask some imps to help him out in travel, but that'd mean using his powers, and he's not a big fan of them. }:(

MITUNA

technicolorAlytarch Technicolor - a vivid or bright color “Alytarch in ancient Olympic games was the leader of the police force who assisted the Hellanodikai to impose fines on athletes who did not follow the rules” "Hellanodikai - literally meaning Judges of the Greeks - were the judges of the Ancient Olympic Games, and the success of the games was attributed to their efforts". I like the idea of it referring to more than one character, but ofc I thought of Latula first.

Land of Screens and Skyscrapers Skyscrapers as in heights & danger, at least that’s my association. Something about falls, especially when you're very high... Screening - concealing, protecting, sheltering. But also screening, as in “checking for disease when there are no symptoms. Since screening may find diseases at an early stage, there may be a better chance of curing the disease”. Also, fun fact, SAS is a group of highly trained British soldiers who work on secret or very difficult military operations. SAS is an abbreviation for 'Special Air Service'.” I wonder if it's relevant.

Heirs' lands tend to be really dark for some reason, but it's a bit difficul to say if it's a theme for them, because Equius' aspect is literally Void, so of course his land is dark. But I went for it. I'd say LOSAS resembles Dirk's land a bit, but there's also a shitton of giant screens on the building, all of them not working properly. The land is dangerous in it's nature, and generally not the most pleasant place to be in (ah, Doom players), but it sure gets worse after Mituna's accident, now that he has trouble seeing, and his balance also got quite bad. F.

MEULIN

acuteCardiograper Acute: - causes severe problems or damage; - pain or illness is one that quickly becomes very severe; - aware of or able to recognize small differences between things, or being accurate in judging something; The first two are more foreshadowing, whereas the last one is the actual intent. Since she's an amazing matchmaker whose speciality is the Hreat. Cardiography - the use of a machine to record the beating of the heart. So. You know. Hehe. Meulin's trolltag is an ad. Bonus a cute cardiographer.

Land of Lily Pads and Wisps Lily Pads are literally there in Openbound, but also I like the general symbolism of lilies - purity, innocence and rebirth. I think it describes Meulin very well. Wisps - of smoke, of light, but also will o' the wisp - a person that is difficult or impossible to reach or catch on (OR aurora). Of course even Meulin can't have nice things. Her land mocks her for being "useless". (Note: I'm not saying that she is, but that's how she feels). LOLPAW is not exactly deep.

PORRIM

gallivantAvantgarde Gallivant - to visit or go to a lot of different places, enjoying yourself and not worrying about other things you should be doing. Avantgarde - the painters, writers, musicians, and other artists whose ideas, styles, and methods are very original or modern in comparison to the period in which they live, or the work of these artists. Porrim's attitude, essentially.

Land of Threads and Frogs Threads like fabric, but also thread/fabric of the universe Also thread as in “to move forwards, often changing direction in order to avoid people or things”. Which is, well, what she was supposed to do. Another land that isn't exactly dangerous, but feels more like a mockery. Cluttered, soft & pastel. You could say ""girly"". She hates it here.

Maid's lands are pretty nice, though they tend to lack the aspect the Maid is supposed to create, at least that's what I've understood.

TAF - a substance, consisting of protein and nucleic acid developed in a malignant tumor, that stimulates the formation of capillaries for nourishing the tumor and carrying off its waste matter. A connection to Kankri, and especially The Dolorosa's role in The Signless' life.

LATULA

I'll be honest, I'm not exactly the proudest of hers, but this grl was giving me a headache at some point. Mostly when it comes to her trolltag, because I like the name of her land, but oh well. I was tired.

galiantCaballerial Galiant - “Galiant is a mixture of two words; Valiant (Possessing Courage and Determination), and Gallant (Grand, Fine). This is what you call someone who excels at anything they play, mainly videogames.” Urban Dictionary. I'm not sure it's the most believable source, but you know what, why not. If it's not really a thing, what's stopping me from headcanoning that it is on Beforus? Or add a small backstory that Liltula found that term & loved it, used for his trolltag & only later found out it's not a real thing. Now she's living a lie. Caballerial - a trick invented by Steve Caballero in the early 1980s in which the skater performs a 360-degree ollie in a ramp while riding fakie and without grabbing.

Land of Smoke and Mirrors Smoke and Mirrors - the obscuring or embellishing of the truth of a situation with misleading or irrelevant information. Other than the obvious, it's not a big discovery that the Knights' lands are filled with danger and even things they personally hate & fear. Mirrors for somebody as self-conscious and obsessed over her presentation? And also smoke. There might be fire somewhere, but she can't smell it, she won't know she's in danger until she gets closer to it. F. No cool meaning for SAM :(

ARANEA

amasthenicGraphomaniac Graphomania - a compulsive urge to write Amasthenic - uniting the rays of light into one focus, as a certain kind of lens does (in photography)

Land of Swirls and Candles Swirls - I was thinking about the weather, so connection to Breath, but also whirlpools, so connection to water. Extreme weather. Hella important in sailing. Etc. Also swirls & cherubs. Candles - light. Quite simple. LOSAC is essentially a gorgeous dark forest lit by candles, and Aranea is blind as shit in there. Did I mention that Skaia doesn't want them to keep going? :) Other than that: - Candle Queen by GUMI is such an Aranea song, you won't tell me otherwise. - one of the definitions of a SAC is "a covering that surrounds a tumor" i WoNdEr If It'S rElEvAnT

HORUSS

compoundTegument Tegument - natural covering of an animal or plant body Compound: - a thing that is composed of two or more separate elements; a mixture - make (something bad) worse; intensify the negative aspects of But Also - compound bow - A hand-drawn, hand-held bow that for similar poundage at full draw, stores more energy than a recurve bow through the use of two cables and two eccentric wheels

Land of Copper and Bolts Copper can be used in making steam engines. “Brown coins of low value made of copper or bronze”. And making electrical wires. “any of various small widely distributed butterflies of the genera Lycaena, Heodes, etc, typically having reddish-brown wings: family Lycaenidae” h u h Can mean “policeman”... Law reinforcement… Executioners… HMM. Bolts - well, bolts, but also arrowheads (in crossbows), also to quickly escape, and also (lightning)bolt, also A bolt is also a part of a gun that pushes the cartridge (= container filled with explosive powder) into position to be fired - I wonder if it its *gets shot* CAB - besides the obvious - “the enclosed compartment of a lorry, locomotive, crane, etc, from which it is driven or operated” - trains. steam. it’s all coming together “the glass-enclosed area of an airport control tower in which the controllers are stationed” listen, it works for me, but I can’t explain Why “first cab off the rank” - the first person, etc, to do or take advantage of something - like. the first person to take advantage of somebody’s malleable and passive personality…?

Steampunk land. What can I say. Downside: them damn bolts everywhere. You can hurt yourself :<

KURLOZ

tumultuousCaduceator Tumultuous - chaotic or disorderly; full of noise, commotion, or turbulence. Caduceator - herald; messenger Also similar to Caduceus (prolly related), so a relation to Mituna who is a Gemini - Gemini is ruled by Mercury (Hermes’ Roman name, the Caduceus belonged to him) So it’s a mixed bag of relations to others: tumultuous is a relation to Caliborn (there’s even a wholeass Sign of the Tumultuous - Caniborn). Herald/messenger is akin to Kankri’s role of a prophet. Except he’s heralding Lord English’s arrival rather than another Signless’. And, well, the Mituna connection. It’s also a Doom connection, lmao.

Land of Pits and Thrills You have this huge never-ending theme park with random pits where you least expect them, cartoonish experience. In general, Princes' lands tend to be extremely dangerous in ways that relate to their aspects, and, well, cartoon-like traps break the immersion a bit, really makes you think about everything being fake. Plus a theme park doesmake one think about the HS clowns a bit, right? Another one of my faves, PAT means a stalemate in Polish - a situation in chess where one of the players can’t move according to the rules, but their king isn’t in check - it ends the game in a draw. Technically, they haven't lost, and yet they cannot progress :o)

CRONUS

corbanAlluvion Corban - offering to God in fulfillment of a vow / kinda thinking abt it regarding Cronus wanting to fulfill his “destiny” Allivion - effect of water impacting on shoreline (eg. deluge) Was I tempted for Cronus to have his trolltag as cronusAmpora? Yes. Absolutely. But in the end I decided to pretend that I Am A Serious Writer.

Land of Tides and Rows Tidal island - a piece of land that is connected to the mainland by a natural or man-made causeway that is exposed at low tide and submerged at high tide Also changing tides. Row - well, rowing, so water travel. This land looks quite nice on the first glance, but once you start to travel you find out, that the further you go, the darker and more dangerous it becomes. Oh no. Also, the water is definitely tainted. TAR - a dark, thick flammable liquid distilled from wood or coal, consisting of a mixture of hydrocarbons, resins, alcohols, and other compounds. It is used in road-making and for coating and preserving timber. But also as a verb: blame or damage the reputation of (someone).

MEENAH

cerescentConqueror Conqueror - obvious Cerescent - a typo she didn’t care to correct; crescent is a phase of the moon (halfmoon); Ceres is a roman goddess of harvest etc.

Land of Passages and Harvest Passages as literal passages, but also in: passage of time, or passing = death, so a relation to Damara. And Harvest is, well, harvest. In general, the only other Thief we have is Vriska, and her land is essentially "things that help in stealing her aspect" and "something that represents her aspect". In this case, then, you need to let the time pass for harvest to begin. Also, I love the idea that all Life Players have some representation of the other players on their planet, just like Jane's lamps. In this case, Meenah has flowers. I have yet to finish it, but I did assign some already. PAH - used to express disgust or contempt. Aka Meenah's reaction when she first saw her bright colorful land full of flowers.

Final notes: - ok, so, the idea for LOLPAW, Thrills in Kurloz's land & Avantgarde for Porrim's trolltag are from kanmeu, Caballerial is 100% an accident, though, when I've found that word I thought it looked familiar, and Oh. - I might fix the formatting tomorrow, idk, but it sure ain't gonna be now.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

God I had the shittest brain blast, absolute monster of ideas, and something that can help us define the trolls because of shitty clone genetics.

First, do the dancestors food into the ultimate self due to how troll genetics work? If so who is the dominate or does it form into someone a balance of the two? Like Karkat (angry and passionate)/ Kankri (knowledable and verbose) combine into the Sufferer or someone close to that?

Second, is Mituna’s brain damage the reason why for Sollux’s dullaity motif, specifically his psiionic troll bipolar brain? If so does that mean Skaia make each and every dancestor the opposite in terms of character development? Meenah’s a bitch so fef is kind? Kurloz’s belief where ignored so Gamzee is both oblivious (pre-supor) and visibly fantatical (post supor)? It seems like with Mituna and Sollux it’s more Sollux need to learn to deal with his disorder which Mituna couldn’t because his friends couldn’t/didn’t want to help him

Finally, from each pair of dancestors being opposites of what their character needs to become yet at the same time lacks, can we figure out their sgrub quest? Meenah needed to learn how to become empress and not such a huge glubbing bitch( which she failed) and Feferi, if left alone, becomes the empress, a direct result of no one challenging her on her ideal of kindness and compassion towards the lowbloods (another reason for nepeta to become so important in her life). The vantas’s seem destined for revolution it’s just that the coin flip of Alternia and Beforus determines if they are successful or not.

Last thing I want to add what the fuck does troll fanfiction mean because who exactly is writing it, because it’s kinda shit ngl. The beforans? Alternians? One of the Sekrets? Piexes?

Just going in order again:

The dancestors are wholly separate individuals from the Alternian trolls, and are therefore not a part of each Alternian trolls' ultimate selfhood. There is theoretically an ultimate Cronus and ultimate Eridan, and these are 100% discrete from each other with zero overlap. The Alternian ancestors (aka signless, disciple, etc.) are full-on just the Dancestors placed in different circumstances, who therefore grew up to be different people. Kankri always had it in him to become the Signless, he just failed to do so in his original session.

Skaia didn't "make" anyone do anything. Each person is their own individual with their own individual struggles, flaws, and arc. The A1 trolls often mirror their A2 counterparts, in Watsonian terms, because of genetic resemblance and similar cultural positions, and, in Doylist terms, because it makes solid narrative sense to have them serve as foils for their descendants, which necessarily requires them to be similar, with key opposite traits or circumstances. If there's anyone to blame here, it's the author for wanting to employ literary devices like foils and irony.

Moreover, I think you're missing many details about the trolls - for example, Gamzee has always been a staunch believer in his faith, Kurloz's belief is also something his friends are aware of, and Feferi has always been a kind of a casteist jackass (I wouldn't necessarily call her "kind" toward the lowbloods when it's clear that a Beforus under her rule still very much had casteism, royalty, and oppressed the lowbloods). It's a bit hard to discuss these things if we aren't on the same page.

At the end of the day, for any character who doesn't outright say what their SBURB/SGRUB quest was, we can only speculate. There's no way to know "for sure," and, in fact, no indication that Hussie even necessarily came up with any, as that entire part of the story was truncated because such details were unnecessary: it can be assumed every troll had a personal quest, since that's how the game works, and it can be assumed that they all basically failed said quest to varying degrees, because their comprehensive failures are what spur on much of the plot. No other details are necessary, and as such, were neither written nor alluded to (and Hussie outright says that this is the case for their entry artifacts). It's fun to speculate, but in terms of discussing the canon, there's nothing there to discuss.

I also have no idea what you're referring to re: troll fanfiction. Meulin canonically writes RPF about her friends, Hussie has referred to Mindfang's diary as being an explicit riff on overly flowery, sexual fanfiction, and has also in-universe called Doc Scratch's recounting of the ancestors' lives that. IDK what else you might be thinking of.

[davekat-sucks]

"OH my god, Anon! [Feferi]'s PETA!"

spot on on, because if meenah is more like caliborn, feferi is more like calliope. and thats how you get beforus, a nanny state planet that pretends to be an utopia. tumblr. speaking of which.

I'm cool with whatever people do in their spare time, you know, you do you. But what ticks me off is when they start acting all authoritarian with their headcanons, insisting they are canon and claiming others are clueless, ignorant, illiterate, tone-deaf, every internalized or externalized -ist and -phobic under the sun etc for not seeing it that way. Treating fictional characters with more decency than they do with real people essentially. So because I dont give a single iota of a fuck anymore, let me call out this retarded fandom that butterfly effected all western fandoms turning into warzones and hussies lazy hack ass really quick.

Here's the deal: Some people really just wanna show off how "woke" they are to others, so they slap labels like they're trendy accessories and project onto characters without giving a damn about their background or personality. That usually backfires and ends up with pretty darn terrible results. We all know this, we've heard the HS2 horror stories. And that's exactly what went down here again.

Because, lately, there's this, as I said let's call it headcanon, floating around insisting that the Vantases, Kankri in particular, are canonically aromantic asexual (aroace). The Vantases are the worst possible candidates in the whole webcomic for this. Why?

1: celibacy ≠ aroace. first one is not an orientation, but a choice to abstain from acting on attraction. and the other IS a orientation, not a choice, where you feel little to no romantic or sexual attraction. so much for respecting some people's identities and values. If the vantases HAVE to be assigned a human label despite being fucking aliens, why not demisexual???? kankri even asks karkat if he might be "panquadrantic demiromantic", doesnt that fit how the signless took time to open his heart to the disciple and had a love that went beyond all quadrants with her?

they are both HORNY and THIRSTY as hell for the pyropes, the captors, the leijons, john egbert, i dont fucking know, take your pick. make them fuck a clown. That's why Karkat is obsessed with romance and Kankri panders so hard, they are both that pathetically desperate for someone to connect and care for them back as obsessively intense as they are with everything.

3: Some previous anon pointed out how HIC, besides being an authoritarian tyrant that wanted galaxy-wide conquest, is an eugenicist fascist. Yes. She genocided limebloods. So did Beforan Feferi actually. And you know Karkat's handle? carcinogeneticist? How he inherited the Signless's burden? These things are all related, and let me use a comparison to explain how or why. Imposing this label onto them would be as perplexing as suggesting that Aang from THE LAST AIRBENDER, being a monk, should also be aroace. Right after all the airbenders were wiped out by firebenders, also authoritarian tyrants that wanted world conquest. Do you see the parallels? Karkat and Kankri have significant self-esteem issues, stemming from their mutant blood, from which bloodcaste they mutated from? Limebloods. The caste that has faced intense persecution, to the extent of genocide, on BOTH planets, resulting in their GENETIC LINEAGE being wiped out from the troll GENE POOL. Limebloods are EXTINCT. That's why their mutancy is their burden, it saved them from being killed, but condemned both to a lifetime of suffering and hiding under the same culling regime that killed their kin. And that's why the burden is the responsibility of revitalizing their bloodcaste BY PROCREATING. ADDING THEIR GENES TO THE TROLL GENE POOL. But because both Karkat and Kankri are fucking idiots with crippling self-esteem issues and Hussie wrote with his asscheeks, what did these two chucklefucks do instead? One praised the Empress that wanted to kill him and wanted to become her thresecutioner, and out of desperation did the devil's tango with the worst and most disgusting vile living being available, a hussie self-insert. And the other became fucking CELIBATE to focus on what was truly important to oppose the regime he disagreed with… performative bullshit that nobody asked him to care about, overcorrecting to the point of being even more offensive than the start, and not actually solving any problems but creating more. To make "progress as a civilization" with trigger warnings, HE DIDN'T PRESERVE THE FUTURE OF HIS OWN BLOODCASTE. NEITHER DID KARKAT WHO WAS TOO BUSY WATCHING MOVIES. And that was actually clever writing, because if you are a fandom activist who hates kankri, and also think hes unironically aroace because he's celibate, congratulations! You fell for the trap, youre exactly the kind of person Kankri is satirizing, he also missed the point by hyperfocusing on labels and hating himself, and like a self fulfilling prophecy, became the same thing that he was fighting against without realizing because he unwittingly ended up aiding troll eugenics by doing the hard work and taking himself out of the dating pool!

So next time you see a pretentious writer vagueposting about you or your interpretation of a character or guilt tripping you because you dont adhere to their offensive stereotypes, check if they headcanon Kankri as aroace, and if they do, you can simply smile and rest assured knowing that nothing you do will ever be as disconnected from reality or as far off the mark regarding character interpretation as that. Why would you listen to these evil people? Are you like Hussie?

That is truly why Davekat really fucking sucks and always fucking will,

Because not only did it ruin everything with their nonexistant chemistry-less relationship but because thanks to it and pandering to its stans, Sea Hitler won and both muties are out of the gene pool and limebloods remain extinct. That IS actually canon.

And while Johnkat and Jadekat are excellent, Karkat and Kankri's harem of trolls is better than davekat. Suck my dick.

PD: What's that? Baby HIC married Karkat? Doesn't surprise me. Grooming kids is her whole thing. There really was no excuse for not making Karkat fuck Sollux or Terezi instead.

Karkat and Kankri's Harem are better than Davekat. Meenah, Porrim, and Aranea sprites from @befriendus Damara sprite by @magua-vida

Condesce, Disciple, Redglare Neophyte, and the Dolorosa by elanor-pam

[doomspiral]

writing patterns

rules: share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

Tagged by @bone-evidence tagging @chessna2 @lithugraph @proosh

There are more than 90 here even with a few redactions because some were multi-fic posts, oops. And even still! I have more than the listed 90 due to anonymous posts, deleted fics, and side acc fics. So this is even worse actually.

 "Come on man, you need to let this go it's been three years now."

    The way she says your name, her strange tongue smoothing out the edges into something soft and pliant, just like it does to the rest of you when she's found an activity more rewarding than pseudoscientific diatribes.

    [redacted]

    It's been nearly six sweeps since your lusus… died.

    The days have oozed past like a mold claiming a damp wall, the problem at hand growing worse, almost unnoticeable until it was already out of hand.

    After several hours of tests designed to be failed by most trolls who weren't him, a few interviews that were so beyond uncomfortably scrutinizing of various private aspects of his life he wasn't even sure they mattered or if the interviewer was just a gossip hound, and a whole lot of waiting alone in a bright, pristinely clean room, Kankri Vantas had by now gotten his fill of the so called Fair Cull Association and wanted nothing more than to peel the skin free of his own face.

    Warm, soapy water itches at your hands as you clean off the dishes from dinner, breathing slow even though you feel like someone sandpapered the back of your skull and keeps shoving you off tiny ledges one at a time.

    Whoever said the beach was a tranquil place to live was probably deaf as well as damaged in the thinkpan.

    Charles looked up from the paperwork littering his desk as he noticed the presence of someone who had seemed to be resolutely avoiding him for a few days now.

    The body in the sand looked, and smelled, like something she had seen one the few times she'd skittishly entered The Tilting Worm, something cut up in pieces and skewered on a plastic rod.

    "Definitely absolutely just a casual inspection that I do in every new lab, just been soooo busy, couldn't get to this y’know what with the uh, yeah, the stuff with the kaiju and all.

    Newt yanked at the cuffs of his new shirt with the patience of an enraged child, I.E. None, I.E. Fuck Hermann and his sensibilities.

    "To the ocean?"

    It wasn't that he wanted to die, exactly.

    “You’ve been having bad dreams lately.”

    Hermann ignored the sight of Newt standing before him, ignored the words he said, ignored the ache in his chest and the way his lungs felt like they would never expand fully again.

    When he got like this, he could wake up.

    The locals say there’s monsters taking the form of humans these days, now that they can’t get away with being big as skyscrapers, big as death.

    Normally the gears were well greased, allowing the machine that was Dr. Geiszler's mind to run smooth as it could at such a high speed.

    Not all stories have a definitive beginning or end, sometimes they just take place.

    They burst out of the casino doors at top speed, Leorio ahead of Kurapika as they jumped in through the passenger side door.

    The room was dark, like ink filled it up and bled out around the edges, lit sharply in flashes of white from the only television in the pile of junk that could possibly still play VHS tapes.

    The evening was still warm but the breeze was cool as Hisoka walked in the road in a neighborhood that seemed more run down than some of the places The Phantom Troupe had called home.

    It took Kurapika more than half his life to run himself well and truly into the ground.

    "About… Face!"

    The silence of the room rang out like a siren, the light dimming as Kurapika drew the shadows tighter around himself.

    He wanted to kill him.

    The subway train was empty except for the two of them, rushing down the track despite the faltering light, casting them into shadow more often than illuminating the car.

    Kurapika didn't drink, as a general rule.

    He showed up on Mito's doorstep with a baby in his arms.

    The hotel room wasn't especially nice, and the carpet smelled vaguely like mold, but he wasn't able to focus on how annoyed he was about that because Chrollo was currently kneeling on his arms, successfully pinning Kurapika to the floor.

    Time crawled and lurched, dragging him along despite the way his body ached and his skin felt fit to burn right off, or freeze off, it didn't want to make a decision on that.

    From the moment they'd met, Leorio knew Kurapika was a monster.

    It began with a start; Kurapika opened his eyes and looked around, not having realized he'd fallen asleep in the first place.

    "Where are you going?"

    It had been a month since Leorio "agreed" to not being murdered viciously and today the group was attending a small concert; a local choir in a small venue, something that didn't seem to fit Chrollo, who looked like he'd be more comfortable thrashing around in a mosh pit, or Phinks, who looked like he should be pouring beer on his head at some illicit EDM hideout.

    The Queen's Own Herald, Kurapika, was a master of his Gift.

    The sheets were chill and soft against Kurapika's skin as he leaned forward across them, thighs tensing as the lube warmed only as it was rubbed into the flesh.

    News reel.

    The force was not light or dark, it was just the force.

    As it turned out, women's clothing was much more arbitrary than it had any right being.

    The image of Death in the mind of the human race was, rather unanimously, related to the image of the dead.

    On his hands and knees, Kurapika was a target much harder to miss than usual.

    [redacted]

    “So blast a hole in their starboard, just because they wasted a shot over our deck doesn't mean we have to give the same courtesy!”

    [redacted]

    The letters were from a secret admirer, always.

    The heat was the more oppressive aspect of Kurapika’s return home, he thought, rather than the snapshot polaroids of the crime scene it used to be.

    Summer was always toughest on the tents’ vibrant colors.

    “Do you think he’s cold in that?”

    The hand around his mouth pressed tight to the flesh, but the knife at his throat was what kept him docile.

    Chrollo had always seemed to run a bit cooler than average, tapping out around 96 degrees Fahrenheit, while Kurapika always seemed to be running a low grade fever.

    The office was dark.

    Cheadle Yorkshire did not do anything halfway, and it showed in the grandness of the hospital she managed.

    “Don’t listen to them, they’re just being mean because you get so angry.

    The city is sinking into the waves.

    The grain in the fields has gone yellow-grey with desire for harvest, the wind coming in puffs, waiting for its chance to unleash the coming winter.

    The city aboveground glittered and heaved with the life it contained.

    "You would defend Mercutio's death in the name of literary communication.

    Kuroro’s knife sank into his gut with viper-precision and similarly backwards-bent hooks.

    Kuroro sat nestled in the crook of Leorio’s arm, summer air breathing down both of their necks like the hovering specter of Kuroro’s ex-lover; hot, humid, invasive.

    Air rushed into Leorio’s lungs as he clawed his way free of the blankets.

    Lights stabbed at his brain, sound turned his stomach, and Kuroro stumbled into the office in true living-dead fashion.

    The wake had been a nightmare.

    "-son of a bitch, why don't you-"

    "Because its an incredibly stupid request," Tolys crossed his arms and kept a firm set to the mouth.

    The world didn't stop when Feliks left home at fifteen to live in America, nor would he have expected it to.

    Tolys had wedged himself into the place where one chunk of rubble intersected with the remnants of a wall.

    When he’d gone to sleep, Tolys had been the only person in his room.

    It so happened that Gilbert landed a cushy desk job right around the time he was being threatened by his last job for sabotaging someone’s breaks.

    They ate cherries together in the window.

    Gilbert found him at the edge of the property.

    Well, he was sure that he wasn’t in Tsaritsyn.

    Tolys stared up into a dizzyingly white sky.

    Confectioner sugar across the white tablecloth, filling the curve of a painted plate.

    Giselbehrt had outgrown his Christian name.

    The uniform was bulky, moreso than Tolys really wanted to wear while getting intimate, but when he remembered Gilbert's shrill whistle of approval he found it difficult to keep a straight face.

    "All day?"

    Ivan was not a stalker.

    Tolys jolted from the strike, wrists bound but not lashed to anything, bent over the edge of the large bed in Ivan's room.

    All week Gilbert had been a mopey piece of shit on Feliks' basement couch, face down in a ripped up cushion chain smoking like god put him on earth to take the bullet.

    If the drive to the airport took an hour, waiting that same hour to board the plane felt like ten times as long.

    Gilbert had his feet up on the radio tower railing, lying flat on his back with a smoke in his mouth.

    Snow blanketed the ground and dusted Ivan's shoulders as he waited.

    Giselbehrt was tied up with his back ramrod against a sapling.

    The paper crowed about the victories against the little uprisings, stated a few numbers, interviewed one of the officers in charge who stamped out the worst of things.

    The bed was strewn with the signs of both a struggle and the planning that went into play like this; toys, tools, leather and rope.

    More than hunger gaunted Constantin's face as he stood in the road beside a seated Dragomir.

    "Yeah bro, I wanna believe you," Alfred's tone was disarmingly light.

    He’d always hated scribe work.

    Vanya: i dun think thas necessary

    There was an odd stillness about the house when Tolys vanished.

    Ivan ran his hand up Gilbert’s back until he could thread blunt fingertips through ashen hair.

    The two of them had been at it for hours.

    The farmhouse is large.

    It was a scandal even amongst their kind; a marriage in place of simple guardianship with someone still fat in the cheeks.

    That was the end of it.

    The palace grounds glittered with frost, and indoors from candle light bouncing of gilded furniture and cloth of gold embroidery.

    Since returning to Lithuania, Tolys had taken to solving his non-existent sleep schedule and inability to sit alone in his house by setting up shop in the back booth of some hipster cafe.

[palestporn]

Gamzee: Attempt the complex advanced maneuver known as "get hugged, idiot"

It's only being as how you got "be cool, dumbass" slapped into your thick nugbone so hard so many times, that you don't go "huh?" and freeze up--but whatever shit your face does get up to must read plenty clear enough anyhow, because Karkat goes "...Hm" at you.

"Everybody's always rubbing all kinds of disgusting body parts talking about how the consorts must just be committing the most decadent possible acts of debauchery to each other all night, every night," he says. "I guess I'll use my fucking, lightning wit and wildly functional gazebulbs to deduce that's just a rumor."

You nod your head, and then shake your head, and then shrug at him.

"I know how shit gets done--"

"For me," says Karkat, laying it out clear, still frowning. "By you."

Motherfucking relief to hear he gets it. But when you nod grateful at him, he frowns some more. "Well, as far as I'm concerned that falls under the heading of ass-kissing," he says. "Which we've already figured out, you're not going to be doing. So. Well. Maybe, just--"

He marches up to you, and hugs you hard.

Startles you to freezing up for a second--but he's gripping hard, and he's so warm, and when you put your arms down around him he makes a low little satisfied chirr and squeezes you harder.

Your body gives way on you in pieces and parts; he tries holding you up a second or two and then stops fighting it and lets you down on the ground, lets you curl closer around him and grip onto him hard. For a second, he twists and wiggles loose--but before you can try to get yourself to let him go he just hugs you again, over your shoulders this time, so he can put your face in his shoulder and grip a hot, strong hand on the back of your neck.

"Okay," he says, over your head, and pets at your hair, like he's not sure he's allowed. "Yeah? Good. That's enough bullshit for today, you uh. You did good, we're done. Fuck, I thought you were going to kick Kankri's ass. He would've deserved it."

Hits you first that Kankri must mean the emperor; second, flinching fear like you gotta not be allowed to know that. Third, boiling-up anger you can't even blame on your ancestor's whispering this time.

"...Wanted me safe," you say, thin over the growl you're choking on. "He said--"

"Yeah, well, maybe if he ever bothered explaining his fucking high-horned for your own good plans to people, he wouldn't be so fucking insufferable," says Karkat. "Maybe he did keep you safer in here! But holy shit. If I was you I would've hunted him down a long time ago and blown up right in his fucking face." His claws knead prickling at your back, protective at you. "...You can get pissed off. That's uh. What I'm here to help with. If you want."

You haven't gone and wound yourself up like that since you were new, when you didn't get how everything was all set to go and no point arguing--but you remember how ugly shit got when you let it, and how much trouble you got in. The growl that pushes out of you is ugly enough already, even if he doesn't flinch back from it.

"Yeah," he says. Low and half-relieved and holding you even tighter like the ugly's just exactly what the fuck he was looking for. "Come on. Say it."

Gamzee: Rage

==> Your body's been changed ==> You lost your name and your sign ==> They came back with a hundred sweeps of curse on them ==> All for your own motherfucking good

[START OVER]

[completelyandtotalyuneventful]

So Kankri is a bad person and sucks and is annoying and all that but honestly I think we should let him be that way a little bit.

Dude was not allowed to have a personality and a life until he was 13 years old. Kankri was literally not allowed to do ANYTHING on his own. By LAW. Who knows what his culler was like? We never MET Kankri’s culler, but judging from Kankri I think it’s safe to assume they’re (and this is nothing against Kankri we love Kankri) a monstrously stupid sewer person (that was a reference to a tiktok audio in case you didn’t get it but its also accurate to my feelings on Kankri’s childhood). 

So honestly if they guy wants to cancel people on twitter, I’m gonna let him cancel people on twitter. He was probably not allowed to openly disagree or have issue with anything the people around him said for his entire fucking life or else his life would have been hell. It’s part of the reason why he’s such a boot licker, it’s because if he wasn’t everything would suck really bad for him. I’m not excusing his actions, Kankri has said and done some pretty fucked up shit, but if he wants to be an annoying douche that enjoys cancel culture im gonna let him be an annoying douche that enjoys cancel culture.

#letKankribeapieceofshit2023

[fictionkinfessions]

people should stop shipping me with my abuser please and thank you i have a fuckin matesprit that i love so much and miss dearly. fuck Cronus x Mituna forever and fuck every Crotuna shipper that’s ever made me feel like slitting because of the memories you brought up for me. also, fuck you Cronus, fuck you partially Kankri, and fuck everyone but Latula for not listening to me when i said we were all gonna die. Fuck myself for doing that shitty ass sacrifice that didn’t even save anyone, and once again MAJOR FUCK YOU TO CRONUS!!!!!!!

-Mituna fuckin Captor.

x

[spidersfanfics]

Fanfic Snippets (Homestuck)

Continuing to post my fanfic WIPs so that maybe it being out there will give me the motivation to eventually finish it. Finally start posting on my AO3 again.

Regardless, this is a Humanstuck!Cronkri College AU (kinda) fic idea that popped into my head. And then I had no idea where it was going or what the plot would be so there ya go.

“Vantas? No fucking way,” Cronus jogged over slid into the booth across from Kankri before he could even register what was going on. “What are the odds, I didn’t think you were still around.” His grin wavered as Kankri stared at him, blinking in stunned silence. “You do remember me, don’t you?”

“Cronus?” Kankri stammered out at last, “You- You’re. Wow. Hi. It has been a while.”

“Not since highschool,” Cronus nodded and leaned back against the seat of the booth with a smug smile. “I didn’t go to the reunion.”

“Neither did I,” Kankri said with a shrug.

At that moment, a waitress came by with a plate of fries and a burger. Kankri scrambled to push aside his things in order to clear some space on the table. “Does your friend need to order?” she asked, sounding bored as she glanced over at Cronus then put the food down.

“I’ll have the same as him,” Cronus said, “And a large vanilla milkshake.”

The waitress nodded politely and jotted down his order on a notepad. “Veggie burger with a side of fries and a large vanilla milkshake. Is that everything?”

“Veggie?” Cronus wrinkled his nose, “That’s right, I forgot you were vegetarian. Make that a regular cheeseburger.” He flashed her a smile with a wink, “Thanks doll.”

The waitress shook her head as she left and Kankri was almost certain he caught an eyeroll.

Unable to wait for his own food to arrive, Cronus reached across the table to steal a fry off of Kankri’s plate. “At least no one tries to ruin fries by making them vegetarian,” he said.

Kankri raised an eyebrow, “I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t take my food without asking. And besides, fries are already vegetables. They’re made of potatoes.”

Cronus took another fry and gestured with it as he shrugged, “Yeah but I mean like, replacing them with tofu or whatever nonsense.” He ate the fry then waved a hand at Kankri’s laptop and books. “I’m not interrupting anything am I, chief? You aren’t waiting on a study buddy or anything?”

With a heavy sigh, Kankri shut his laptop and started to pack his books back into his bag. “No, it’s fine,” he told him. It didn’t appear as if Cronus planned on leaving anytime soon. So the chances of him getting any more work done had suddenly dropped to just about zero. “I’m surprised to see you here though. Don’t tell me the band is touring its hometown for some kind of special event?”

“Ah yeah, the band,” Cronus grimaced, “We split up actually. Artistic differences, let’s say,” Cronus made air quotes with one hand and frowned. “Rufioh saw his problems as our problems. And Damara saw me as a revenge fuck.” He sighed, “That’s the last time I stick my dick in crazy.”

Kankri frowned, “I think I get the picture. And please refrained from such topics around me. Even if you are an old friend.”

Cronus chuckled, “Oh that’s right. How’s that vow of celibacy treating you?”

Heat filled Kankri’s cheeks and he reached for his burger, hoping to hide his embarrassment. “You remembered that? I sure was dramatic as a teenager, wasn’t I?”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean, chief?” Cronus’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you broke your vow? Has little Kankri Vantas been out there getting bitches? Or did Latula finally break you? She always was quite the broad, wasn’t she?”

Kankri scowled, “I’d appreciate it if you dropped it now.”

Cronus sank further into his seat, somewhat deflated by Kankri’s harsh tone. “Right, sorry, I’m only teasing.” He was remembering now. How quickly Kankri would snap at him if he pushed too far. How too many stupid jokes would invariably lead to a lecture he never bothered to actually retain.

He was also starting to remember Kankri’s kindness, whenever he’d managed to appease him. Kankri was probably the only one of his highschool classmates he could really consider a friend. The only one willing to give him a second, and third, and however many chances he needed to not be a total ass. And in return, Cronus bit his tongue whenever a flirtatious comment threatened to bubble up and did his best to refrain from pushing away his unlikely companion.

Though if he was being honest, he was having a particularly hard time keeping those comments at bay just about now. And it wasn’t just about habit. Sometime during their part, Kankri had filled out his boyish nerdy frame into a broad shouldered young man. He’d also ditched his signature red knit sweater in favor of a smart looking sweater vest that stretched tightly across his chest. A cross dangled from a chain around his neck and Cronus couldn’t quite help but wish he could follow it downwards with his gaze. Just to see what else had changed about Kankri. But alas the diner table got in his way.

“So why are you here?” Cronus said instead of anything more incriminating. “Last I heard you were off to become a lawyer in some fancy big city.”

“That didn’t pan out either,” Kankri said stiffly.

Cronus frowned, this conversation wasn’t exactly going the way he’d hoped reuniting with an old friend would. There had to be something safe they could talk about. “Well then what are you doing now?” He asked carefully.

At last Kankri cracked a smile, “Writing. I’m at Beforus Community College, studying English. I think I might want to be a teacher. Maybe write a few books while I’m at it.”

Cronus felt himself relaxing at Kankri’s answer. Slipping back into his usual, cool and casual persona. “You would be a teacher,” he laughed.

Kankri gave him an amused look. Though he let the conversation pause as Cronus’s food showed up and they had to shuffle things around once more to make room. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, once the waitress had left again.

“Just that you loved to give lectures back when I knew you,” Cronus laughed, “Going on and on about what’s proper and good and godly.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I still go to church,” Kankri protested, though it was much more good natured than his previous rebuttals. He shook his head and sighed, “Ah but look at us. I can say whatever I want but here we both are, aren’t we? Right back where we started.”

Cronus scanned Kankri up and down, “I don’t know about that, chief.” He mused, somewhat to himself. Then he let himself meet Kankri’s eyes with a genuine smile, “You seem like you’ve changed a lot.”

Kankri returned the smile. “Meanwhile, you haven’t changed one bit,” he said. And it wasn’t entirely unwarranted. There, across from him, sat Cronus Ampora. Exactly as he remembered him. A wannabe greaser in tight jeans and a white t-shirt. With slicked back hair so styled it practically shined under the fluorescent diner lights. An unlit cigarette tucked behind his ear and enough rings that his hands clicked every time he moved his fingers.

“Hey that’s hardly fair,” Cronus protested melodramatically. “I’ve changed plenty.”

“Oh really,” Kankri asked playfully as he raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean you aren’t the trust fund party animal I remember anymore?”

Cronus scoffed, “As if. My parents cut me off after I had to blow half my allowance paying off damages at some tacky overpriced club in a town that was the definition of trying too hard. And mind you the place only got trashed because Rufioh and Damara got in a fight that went off the rails so really, it wasn’t even my fault.” He threw his hands up dramatically then shrugged. “Try explaining that to my pops after he saw the bill though. I’m actually staying at a motel right now.”

“Wow, you really have hit rock bottom,” Kankri said, audibly surprised.

“And you always know how to sugarcoat things,” Cronus laughed. “Anyway, I’m paying that off by working at a gas station, aka the most mind numbing job known to man. So the bright side is now I’ve got nothing but time to figure out where my life’s going from here.”

Kankri poked at his food with a thoughtful expression. “Cronus working,” he mused, “Maybe you really have changed.” He drummed his fingers against the table, weighing his options for a moment, before speaking up with a bit of a sigh. “Would you like to crash at my place instead for a little while? It’s not much but you’ll save up faster if you’re not paying for a motel room at the same time.”

Cronus’ eyes widened. “Woah, really chief? That’s way too nice of you, I couldn’t possibly impose like that.”

Kankri shrugged, “It’s no bother as long as you pull your weight with chores. And the offer only stands while you’re trying earnestly to get yourself back on your feet. If I suspect you’re slacking then I’m kicking you out. Not to be harsh.”

“You know saying that doesn’t automatically soften the blow, right?” Cronus chuckled, “But yeah, of course, man. That’s way more than I was ever expecting coming into this diner today.”

“Just don’t make me regret offering,” Kankri shrugged, “But if I have the means to help an old friend, it’s only right that I should do so.” He glanced up at the clock on the wall and gestured to Cronus’ empty plate. “Shall we ask for the bill and head out? I can show you where I’m living. Then, once I’ve cleared it with my landlord, you can start seeing about moving in.”

Cronus downed the rest of his milkshake in one gulp and nodded eagerly, “That sounds just fine by me.”