#kakuzu's partner

[superflumpty]

Chafa

[wispforever]

do you guys think kakuzu's ever really hard on himself bc of his time in the waterfall and then hidan just unknowingly is himself

bonus under the cut

[ludagubi]

[fg083nrt]

[ladykissingfish]

Hidan: 'Kuzuuuu ~ Kakuzu: No. Hidan: You don't even know what the fuck I was gonna say! Kakuzu: Whenever you say my name like that, I know it can't mean anything good. Now what do you want? Hidan: You weren't complaining when I was saying your name like that last night ... Kakuzu, blushing: Tsk; your crudeness knows no bounds. Alright, what are you about to ask me? Hidan: Nothing! Holy Jashin you're one suspicious bastard! I was just gonna tell you that I loved ya, jackass! Kakuzu: ...Oh. Was that all? Hidan: "Was that all"? That's all you've gotta say to that?! I should pull out my scythe and -- Kakuzu: *grabs Hidan and pulls him into a hug* Kakuzu, kissing the top of Hidan's head: I love you, too, you god-awful annoying brat. Now stop being so noisy and let me hold you for a while. Hidan, relaxing in Kakuzu's arms, speaking softly: See? You can be pretty okay sometimes. You know me and you should go away somewhere for a while, a nice little vacation somewhere warm, with good food, and no missions or nothing to go on. Kakuzu: Mmmm, sounds expensive, but, I can see the appeal. Let me think about it and -- *from the other room* Sasori: Hidan!!! What in the FUCK did you do to my puppets?! I'm gonna kill you, you sadistic fuck! Kisame: Get in line, Sasori. Did you see how he painted Samehada?! Deidara, shrieking: Holy shit!! I've been working on this sculpture for months! WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?! Kakuzu: Brat. What did you -- Hidan: Better plan for our vaction to last a few weeks, at least. And somewhere FAR AWAY. Kakuzu:

[lycheefreeze]

Another scene from that rp again! This one isn't so spicy so I included the scene below! Basic context: Hidan's having a crisis of faith and he's trying to rationalize his usefulness ever since his rituals began to-as Hidan describes it, fall on deaf ears- Kakuzu has confiscated his Jashin sigil trying to help him make a point and Hidan's having a hard time coping. So he decides to test himself and see what he can do without his Lord...with mixed results. This is off the tail-end of a fight where Kakuzu tells Hidan he's the bottom of the food chain, despite his potential.

------------------------------------------

Until recently, he'd thought he'd learned the most important lesson of being a person in this cruel world. The pinch of his cloak as Kakuzu's grip tightened on his neck was the single precarious link Hidan had to the world as he searched himself.

"...Learn something...?" Fine. Then he'd learn. He'd learn just what made him useful. Prove it even, to himself, and to Kakuzu, that even without his rituals, he wasn't going to be useless.

The man swatted Kakuzu's hands away from him, staggering back as he stood before his partner. "Fine. Fine, I'll learn something right now!" He snapped, something in his hand catching the light- one of the cultist's retractable spears, from inside his cloak. He held it up, pulse rushing in his ears as he looked at the freshly sharpened edge. But he had to be quick- or else Kakuzu might try to stop him and then he'd really be an idiot. But this way, if he lived, he knew he wasn't usless. If he died, well…then he was useless and now the world would be better off without a lesser creature defiling it- he might even be able to reconcile with his Lord! And...Kakuzu could find a better, more worthy partner.

He gave the other immortal one more look before closing the distance between the spear and his chest, plunging the thing into his heart. In hindsight, maybe the heart had been a hasty choice, because immediately, he realized he'd made a miscalculation. Something about this felt different.

Kakuzu’s eyes widened as he saw the pike turn inwards and before he could reach out to stop the idiot, it was already inches deep into his chest cavity, and most likely into the muscle of his heart- and jutting out the other side of Hidan's hunched-over body. Fucking dramatic moron.

What was Hidan trying to accomplish here? Did the kid not remember he was immortal? Did he-

Right. His dumb idiot must have thought that his immortality was tied to his made-up religion, and now without it there was a possibility that he could simply just die. Except that’s not how it worked.

“What are you doing?” Kakuzu sounded more inconvenienced than anything. He watched and waited for Hidan to make the connection himself, hoping that he wasn’t stupid enough to assume that his lack of dying meant that Jashin was still watching over him.

The blood flowed over Hidan's hand hot and thick, pouring with enough force that the mud under him splashed, mixing around his feet. Hidan actually felt…light-headed this time. Was he dying? The taste of blood on his tongue, and slowly his internal bleeding leaked through into his lungs- he must have pierced a lung with the kunai as well- the wider surface was different from the usual spikes he used- those were much more precise. Maybe that's why he felt like he couldn't breathe.

Hidan's hand fell from the spear, the handle still embedded in his pectoral as the younger shinobi's feet lost their hold on the bloody mess beneath him and he collapsed to his knees. He was…still alive, he concluded for the moment as he tried to suck in a breath. So why did he still feel so numb? Felt like his body was getting heavier… Kakuzu watched as Hidan fell to his knees, about ready to roll his eyes. Great. He was about to pray again-

Except… instead of his skin fading into the black and white skeletal pattern, all it did was pale. Kakuzu saw how the zealot's hands were shaking now, the color of them looking less his usual pale peach complexion and more like parchment. More like the bodies they turned in for bounties. Then he heard his partner’s voice which had fear laced heavily in the words.

"Kakuzu…Something's wrong." Hidan gagged, looking down at his blood and mud stained hands. "This isn't right-" He gasped again, staring up at his partner, blood spilling from his mouth. "None of this is right!"

“Hidan!”

[valtiels-darkness]

.:Open for RPs:.

Independent Orochimaru RPer, selective.

A bit about me... I have been RPing for over 15 years. I write in 3rd POV. I prefer multiple paragraphs for replies. I can do novellas if the need arises. Types of RPs? I can do Shipping or Gen. My portrayal for Orochimaru in shipping based RPs is a submissive (... Well, a switch but recieves. That make sense? This being loves domming from the bottom.) I am tired of topping and will not top. Crude, I know.

I am more than willing to explore AUs and to diverge from canon.

Minors need not apply. Seriously. This should go without saying. Rape is a hard no for me.

Feel free to send asks! I bite but don't let that deter you!

OC friendly. ANTI unfriendly.

Drop Thread Friendly... just communicate that it is being dropped? That way I am not being all awkward wondering if i should ask or wait or ya know xD

Crossover Friendly!

Looking for people to play (Shipping/Romance based): Itachi, Pein-Nagato, Kakashi, Izuna, Indra, Tobirama, Madara, and Kakuzu.

Gen/non-romance: Sakura, Konan, Hinata, Sai,

Really just ask what characters and we can go from there. My Orochimaru is gay (Homosexual) and Demiromantic, however.

Right now, my main muse is Orochimaru and as such, I am looking for Naruto Fandom RPs.

Inquire via messages for my Discord add, as that would be easiest for me.

Headcanons +NSFWs <----Click.

I forever have brainrot for the Silent Hill (1-4) games. Some of it's influence will be felt/seen in my posts.

[nakanospring]

NARUTOP99

I’m once again thinking about who the fuck decided on the pairs in Akatsuki. Bet it was Obito who did it just for shits and giggles and also unlimited chaos potential. Maybe Konan got fed up and demanded one (1) team that has a work ethic fit for an international terrorist group and put Kisame with Itachi. Nevermind that one of them was literally a spy and in the end both decided to suicide their way out of Akatsuki. Besides that I actually think they were a perfect match, not only ability-wise but also thematically

[fireflylitsky]

There is no smile. Death does not wear such a thing. But Death does not mourn either, and if this isn’t mourning, Kakuzu doesn’t know what else to call it.

Read the fic here.

Rating: T

Words: 1,588

Characters: Kakuzu and Hidan

Warning: I've been told it's very sad. Mind the tags.

[blaze13full]

I have the angst and hurt and drama part... but where is the comfort, the fluff the love, the good vibes?

.....

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WRITE IT MYSELF AS WELL?

[sharkfinx]

“ Is called basic courtesy. No wonder there’s so much hate among all of you....”

[superflumpty]

[cherubfae]

|| love rival || Akatsuki x reader

They're now realizing what a mistake it was to introduce you to the group, now they have competition with their own teammate.

tags: former ninja!reader, gn! civilian reader, established relationships, threats, violence, protective!akatsuki, slightly suggestive in Sasori's || MDNI

Pain

He knows that Konan is harmless and she's not the sort of disrespectful person to go sniffing about where she doesn't belong, especially where he and his partner are concerned. Pain, however, cannot tolerate the lingering touches Konan gives you as she passes by. Her hand brushing yours, guiding you with an arm around your shoulders, and blushing at you. He feels a warning is warranted.

"You are my dear friend, Konan, I have known you many years, but this simply won't do. You are better than how you are acting. Be respectful and leave them alone, and I won't need to inflict pain upon you."

Konan

Oh, well isn't this troublesome. Konan isn't the type to make idle threats, but Pain is her commander and leader. That would not be a wise decision on her part, but she does trust her long-time friend to be somewhat respectful and not place you in any situation where you would be uncomfortable. She's not above putting her foot down if she really must.

"Sir, with all due respect, my partner isn't interested and we would both appreciate you to mind your manners."

Obito

You are his everything. He would destroy the entire world for you. Level mountains, tame seas, there isn't anything he wouldn't do as long as it's within his power. He's pretty surprised that Zetsu even took a liking to you, as he's not one that's expressed interest in most anything other than his eating habits.

"Surely Zetsu is mistaken. My partner isn't a corpse for you to munch on you, nor are they yours for the taking. Keep your distance and I won't have to bloody you up too much."

Zetsu

As with anything, both sides of him are at a near constant quarrel with each other. His light side trying to reassure his darker side that Tobi is harmless and doesn't mean anything malicious by taking interest in you.

"Tobi is a good boy, he means no harm." "His harm is his unwarranted interest in our beloved partner. Fool! You have no sense, do you?"

Hidan

Honestly he could laugh so hard he may undo the stitches in his neck. That old fucker wants his partner?? Is he actually serious?

"Haha! That's fucking rich! You've gotta be at least one-hundred by now, huh? Fuck off, geezer! They're not yours!"

Kakuzu

Clearly decapitating Hidan over and over doesn't make him talk any less. Neither does stabbing him-- but it sure does take the edge off. Kakuzu would rather not deal with the younger man's insufferable stubbornness. You are his lover, his alone, and Hidan had no chance in whatever the fuck kind of afterlife his mighty lord Jashin provides. None. Fuck off, Hidan.

"As if they'd want someone as lowly as you. You don't even pay for your own shit. Remember your place or I won't hesitate to remove you from this world permanently. One swipe and your head will be freed from your miserable shoulders. I'm sure all sorts of insects would love to burrow inside of that hollow space."

Itachi

For a moment he's reminded of Sasuke's little schoolboy crush on you, except Kisame isn't Sasuke. He is a grown adult capable of getting in the way of Itachi's livelihood. Threatening the sanctity of his relationship. He's unlikely to do much other than step in if he crosses any boundaries or makes you uncomfortable. So until something is said, it's just this weird, heavy atmosphere. Kisame starts to speak but Itachi cuts him off immediately.

"Keep their name out of your mouth, Kisame. I won't warn you again."

Kisame

Oftentimes he wonders how lonely Itachi is. He annihilated his entire clan save for his younger brother in a single night. He took away everything he loved and for what? He can appreciate Itachi's past but Kisame doesn't take too kindly to the eldest Uchiha brother being a bit too welcoming and protective of his partner.

"Itachi, a word of advice. Don't shit where you eat. And keep your nose out of other's relationships. You're a good, respectable man and I appreciate your concern in my partner's well-being. Let me handle it from here."

Sasori

There's still the age-old artistic view difference between the two: eternal art vs shortlived art. One could argue both have their merits, but even after all these years it was a sore subject between the blonde and redhead duo. And now you were thrown into the mix.

"If you truly think you're so superior to me, Deidara, then perhaps you'd be more open to what a waste your art truly is. My partner prefers eternal, long-lasting, but there's nothing long nor lasting about, is there?"

Deidara

This was great. Jusssst great. Sasori had been hanging around his area of the hideout more and for what, Deidara wasn't sure. Until he recalled that you had been given special permission to visit from Pain himself. You'd forsaken your village long ago and clearly had no interest in reporting them, so it was allowed. Sasori had begun skulking about ever since and the blonde could guess why he might be drawn to you.

"If you even think about turning my partner into a fuckin' puppet, I won't hesitate to kill you, Sasori. No matter which way I go about it, you'll end up in splinters. So, I repeat. Stay the fuck away from them, hmm."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

[or0ch1maru]

••••••CRY BABY••••••

Warnings: none? Crying, being called a cry baby. Sensitive female reader

•

-you were sensitive, always have been, but you never thought you were a cry baby. It wasn’t until you got together with your boyfriend that you realized just how soft you truly are

-“aww, what’s the matter pretty girl?” Your partner coo’s towards you when he walks into your shared room. Seeing your blood shot eyes, mascara smeared under your lashes, and streaks of the black ink stained against your soft skin

-“such a little cry baby, hm?” despite your lover’s teasing, he hates seeing you upset, let alone to the point that tears were shed. He’d kill anybody who upsets you, especially if they called you a cry baby. Only he’s allowed to do that.

-all you manage to mutter out is a faint ‘m sorry”, using your sleeve to wipe away the evidence of your feelings.

-“tsk, none of that baby” his words are soft, devoid of his usual taunting nature. He climbs into bed, wrapping his arms around you, pulling your small frame against his chest.

-you always felt safe around your boyfriend, allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable with him. Which, of course, causes you to let out a soft sob and a few more tears, forming a small wet spot against his shirt.

-you relax further into his chest, feeling a large hand move up and down over your back, something he took to the first time you cried in front of him. Something he does to keep you grounded. Focused. Calm.

-“come on, talk to me mama. Let me know what upset my baby.” His voice is gentle, his tone full of patience as he waits for you to catch your breath.

-he’ll never admit it, especially to you, but he loves this. Loves being able to be the one to make you feel better, allowing his own vulnerability to show, which goes against his tough nature. It only fuels his need to protect you

-he loves nothing more than having a cry baby as a girlfriend.

•

SATORU, Suguru, SUKUNA, TOJI, Choso, Renji, KENPACHI, Kakuzu, Hidan, OBITO, Zetsu, Kisame, pain, orochimaru, + whoever else you see fit ^.^

[0ynes]

not that long post about Akatsuki's immortal pair

Man I didn't remember Kakuzu and Hidan being so in love. Kishimoto can't make two male characters interact without them having homoerotic subtext, huh?!

Tsundere Kankuzu in a shoujo: "It's not like I c-care, b-baka! Don't misunderstand!!" Also Hidan why do you want Kankuzu to admit that he likes you so bad?! 🧐

Kakuzu really wanted his partner so of course he'll look out for him 😤

Hidan checking on Kakuzu after the explosion, even though he totally didn't have too, and Kakuzu reassures him immediately. Like usually this type of characters either don't respond or just tell the other to shut up, but Kakuzu explains how he saved himself and reassures Hidan.

The amount of times Hidan calls Kakuzu's name in distress, even though, again, he doesn't have to. Like calm down your husband is immortal!

THEM FLIRTING AND TEASING EACH OTHER like there's no one else there

:(( don't do that. Pain puts a lot of effort in his match making skills to create te perfect pairs.

I feel kinda bad that they died apart.

[mixelation]

oh yeah i wrote this last night

“No,” Shisui said, flatly. “Absolutely not.”

He still maintained his proper at ease pose, feet apart and arms folded behind his back. It was a stark contrast to his rather blatant words. 

“I recognize you have a very… strong interpersonal relationship,” Minato said carefully. “But like all our shinobi, Tori knows how to behave professionally when on missions.”

“With all due respect,” Shisui replied, “if she wasn’t a problem, you could hand her to any other captain.”

Minato’s lips thinned. He had wasted so many years believing Tori was the most personable member of Team 4, and now look what he and Kushina had allowed her to become. Now that he needed to temporarily pull a fuinjutsu master for ANBU, it was becoming clear she’d somehow ended up on the shit list of several key ANBU members. She was as bad as Itachi in terms of reputation, except she had to clout within ANBU to command respect. 

He could just put Kushina on this mission, but her personality was wildly unsuited for ANBU. Tori was theoretically a much better pick. She could be incredibly discreet when she wanted to be. 

Shisui’s dark eyes watched him, waiting for a reply. Unlike any member of Team 4, Shisui was not openly judging him for his decisions, or the fact that he’d just let Tori piss off half of ANBU and done nothing to intervene. 

“Uchiha Itachi recommended you,” Minato said finally. “He believes your skills would complement, and that despite your differences, you would be able to read each other well, despite never having run a mission together.”

He could tell Shisui was fighting hard to not react, like a good ANBU. 

“Perhaps Itachi should captain this mission then,” Shisui said finally. “They have an excellent mission record together.”

“You know I can’t assign them together,” Minato replied. 

In theory, he could, because he could do whatever he wanted as Hokage. But now that they were dating, he didn’t want to throw them together into a high-stakes mission until after they’d had some trainings on workplace romances and run a few easier missions together, if they wanted to explore that. Romantic feelings and missions could be a disaster for both the mission and the relationship. 

(Kushina would be so upset if they broke up.)

Shisui took a deep breath. 

“If you force this,” Shisui said, steely eyed, “I will consider resigning from ANBU.”

Wow, Minato thought. He hadn’t thought they’d disliked each other this much. 

“I will take your opinion into consideration,” Minato said, and then dismissed him. 

Minato distracted himself with some more mission assignments for an hour, but he inevitably came back around to the Tori problem. 

The unfortunate truth of the situation was that he did have to build an ANBU team around her, rather than carefully pull the best agents from a range of different candidates. 

The mission was a rare invitation from the Water Country Daimyo. He wanted a certain political enemy eliminated, but all three of Kiri’s own attempts to assassinate the mark had failed, because the mark had somehow turned his home into a maze of fuinjutsu barriers and traps. So the Daimyo wanted Konoha to infiltrate, kill only the mark and his two partners, and also not leave any evidence a foreign ninja had done this so he didn’t have to explain anything to the Mizukage. 

The fuuinjutsu requirement, along with baseline ANBU requirements, meant literally only Kushina and Tori could reliably do this, and Kushina was horrible at being subtle. 

Could he maybe move the mission out of ANBU and widen his pool of other teammates…? No, it really had to be ANBU. 

What if he just did the mission?

Kakashi walked into the office to find Minato with both hands in his hair, glaring at the current ANBU roster. ANBU Jaguar would be perfect for this, actually, except Tori had brought Jaguar to Book Club the time Bounty Hunter Kakuzu had inexplicably shown up. 

“Have you also been speaking to genin?” Kakashi asked, dropping a folder onto Minato’s desk. 

Minato stared up at him helplessly. That was right; he’d asked for the newest Jounin Sensei to turn in their six month report on their genin teams in a tad early so they could discuss entering them in the Chunin Exams this round. 

Team 7 must have really done a whammy on Kakashi if he was the first to turn his in. 

“ANBU is sort of like speaking to children,” Minato said, and Kakashi dropped into a seat across from him to listen to him whine. 

“Just make Itachi deal with her,” Kakashi said when Minato finished. “Or are you afraid their relationship will turn them into a vortex of toxic behavior likes of which ANBU has never seen?”

“Something like that,” Minato replied. He absently picked up a pen and jotted down a note to himself to tell them they had to do workplace romance training so he never had to deal with this again. 

Then Minato said, “I really thought Shisui was a good fit. They’re not friendly, but they’re civil at Book Club.”

“Ah, it’s because Shisui is intimately aware she’s a manipulative little monster,” Kakashi said. He settled back further in his chair and crossed his legs. “He used to get weird about having to work with Itachi too.”

Minato sighed and tapped his fingers on the desk. He should have a conversation with Tori about being more pleasant. Except if he used that wording both she and, more importantly, Kushina would yell at him about being anti-feminist because… something something women were expected to be kind and gentle where men weren’t. 

He just wanted her to not use her teammates as psych experiments… 

“Hey,” Minato said, eyeing Kakashi up and down. “Do you want a break from your genin?”

Kakashi, currently fiddling with a pen, froze. 

“It’ll only be a couple weeks,” Minato said. “I’ll stick them with someone else and tell them it’s an evaluation for candidacy to the Chunin Exam.”

Kakshi looked less than convinced. 

“I of course enjoy my cute little ninja sibling,” Kakashi said very slowly. “But only in my personal time. When there’s other people to point her at.”

Minato could force the issue and just assign Kakashi to the mission. But he was trying so hard to get people to get along on their own. That was his philosophy as Hokage. 

Of course, sometimes people just didn’t want to get along, and then he had to use other tactics. 

“I’ll get you Jiraiya’s current manuscript,” Minato offered. “And just think: it’ll be really, really funny.”

Kakashi looked more considering. 

xXx

Tori stared down at the mask on the desk. Her eyes rose, meeting MInato’s. They had a certain dewey quality to them that almost made him feel bad.

“Why would you do this to me?” Tori asked, sounding betrayed. 

“Wow,” Kakashi said, putting a hand on a hip. He was a nostalgic sight, in full ANBU uniform again. “Usually people are overjoyed to work with me.”

Tori made a face like she didn’t believe this. 

“It’s just like any other mission,” Minato assured her. “Just with a couple extra rules.”

Tori reached hesitantly for the mask.

“If you make me ANBU Songbird,” she said, turning it over in her hands, “I am going missing-nin.”

“So,” Minato said blandly, “a stricter behavior code is part of your temporary ANBU assignment–”

“Maa, it’s a Nightingale,” Kakashi interrupted, completely undermining Minato lecture on how he should technically give Tori several demerits and send her off to a psych eval for her joke. “Which I believe is a songbird. Suborder Passeri, right?”

Kakashi had definitely looked this up beforehand, specifically for this. 

“Why would you do this to me?” Tori repeated. 

“I was being sensitive,” Minato defended. “You went on for a very long time about your ancestor Nightingale, and it was available.”

Tori stared at him, clearly confused. 

“The statistician?” he tried. 

“Florence Nightingale?” Tori said, sounding mildly scandalized. “She’s not my ancestor!”

Minato could have sworn Deidara had referred to this Nightingale person as “one of Tori’s people” to explain the strange given name. Maybe he hadn’t meant she was part of Tori’s family after all…?

“No one gets to choose their own mask,” Minato said, backtracking. “I try to allow people to turn down temp ANBU assignments, but we really don’t have anyone else with the required skillset.”

Tori scowled down at the mask some more. Minato would at least hear her out, if she decided to give an actual argument for not wanting to run an ANBU mission, but she didn’t offer one up. 

“Maa, I’ll try to fill the rest of the team with people you haven’t personally harassed,” Kakashi said. “Although that’s not a long list…”

Tori held the mask up to her face experimentally, then pulled it away. 

“Do you sterilize these between uses?” she asked. 

“Yes, of course,” Minato said. “But, um, that one’s been in storage for years. I’d clean it again.”

“Don’t worry, my cute little sister,” Kakashi drawled, “I will teach you in the way of mask hygiene.”

Tori shot Minato another pained, betrayed look. 

“He means that as your captain, he’ll brief you on how this works,” Minato said. He almost reassured Tori that Kakashi really was one of their best. But she already knew that. 

Kakashi swung an arm around her shoulder and walked her out, listing tips for cleaning her mask and borrowed armor as he went. 

Minato watched them go with conflicting emotions. Kakashi and Tori… made each other behave worse, in public. It was heartwarming when he looked at them as young people he’d mentored: their mutual interests brought each other out of their shells and they enjoyed each other’s company. It was also kind of a nightmare when he thought of them as soldiers under his command. He trusted both of them to reel it in once the mission started, but Tori’s orientation would almost definitely end with more names on the list of ANBU Tori had personally harassed. 

Ah well. It would be character building for whoever they ended up harassing.