#kakashi is very much a “aw he’s so cute when he’s mad’

[dark-elf-writes]

Hot for Teacher in a nutshell:

Iruka: That’s so irresponsible! What if Naruto gets hurt?

Kakashi: …

Naruto: *held up by one ankle, cackling, asking to go higher*

Kakashi: Idk he seems fine

Iruka: *kill bill sirens*

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[animeomegas]

Do the Naruto omegas like comfort sex?? It’s for research purposes of course 👀👀

Aww, this was a cute ask, I’ve put it under a cut just in case, but it’s not explicit in any way. <3

Naruto – He doesn’t really like it, he’d rather you just cuddled him. Will outright reject comfort sex for anything really serious. If he’s mourning someone, or is worked up to the point of panic, he would hate you making a move on him. He would take that as you invalidating his feelings. Some comfort kissing might be more up his alley.

Sasuke – He likes comfort sex a lot because it’s a way to deal with his emotions without having to rely on words. He’s not the best at communicating his feelings verbally and can be awkward if his alpha is reassuring him verbally. So physical reassurance? It’s right up his alley. Works best when he’s feeling insecure, lonely, or is caught up in bad memories.

Kakashi – He will almost always default to comfort sex as a solution, but it’s not always what he needs. He likes to be punished after difficult missions, and that normally does help him feel better (it’s also very useful in helping him deal with the stress of being Hokage). But occasionally, when he’s swallowed up completely by guilt and grief, he doesn’t need sex, even though he may ask for it. It’s up to his alpha to make the call about when to indulge his request.

Iruka – No, he doesn’t like it at all. He wants to watch films together and drink hot chocolate. He normally has a good cry in his alpha’s arms and ends up feeling a lot better (Iruka is an ugly crier, like full sobbing when he gets sad enough.) Would get mad if his alpha tried to seduce him while he was upset. He does sometimes enjoy the intimacy of naked cuddling when he’s upset, but even then, he normally prefers some comfy pyjamas.

Shikamaru – He likes it when he needs to blow off some steam. Shikamaru can get angry when he feels upset or when something bad happens. He stays in the anger stage of grief the longest. So, rougher comfort sex helps him blow off the steam that he needs sometimes. However, if he is just plain upset with no anger, he likes to be left alone.

Shino – Comfort sex is very helpful for when he’s feeling insecure, but only then. Shino is prone to becoming insecure about himself because he was always treated as the weird outsider, so he feels like his alpha will find someone more normal and leave him. This disappears over time, but comfort sex is a great way to give him a self-esteem boost! He just feels so content and fuzzy after his alpha shows him how much they love him.

Neji – Oh, he would get so frustrated if his alpha tried to seduce him while he was upset. It takes him a lot to open up, he’s just not that used to it, so when he does, he wants his alpha to listen to him, not try and fuck him. Would feel very dismissed and that makes him angry.

Itachi – It’s not really his thing. Itachi has a very low sex drive and a lot of awful feelings. He prefers his alpha to run him a bath or make him some tea when he’s upset. Even just sitting with him in silence will make him feel better. He doesn’t hate comfort sex per se, sometimes he likes it after very difficult missions when his adrenaline won’t go back down. Sex is a good way to burn off the excess adrenaline which can make him anxious and fidgety, but other than that? He’s not the biggest fan.

Gaara – Gaara likes comfort sex for a lot of things actually. Gaara is a worrywart and a mother hen, so if he worked himself up because his alpha was one day late coming back from a mission, comfort sex is an excellent way to get him to calm down and relax. He also thinks comfort sex is an excellent stress relief for when his job gets a little too much. He views sex as emotionally charged just as much as he views it as physically, so he won’t find it insulting or a bad idea if his alpha seduces him to make him feel better. Grief is probably the only exception.

[missmooncakes]

Seasick.

[Kimetsu no Yaiba]

[One-shot]

[warning: crack]

[Demon slayers/Hashiras x Reader]

On order of Ubayashiki, all of the Hashiras, besides some, were required to travel to a specific destination; fastest way was through the ocean. However, they were accompanied by kakashi and a few younger demon slayers, including a demonic sister.

Their transpiration was a large wooden ship; filled with more than necessary essentials for the journey.

“Uwah!” Tanjirou stared, excitedly as the waves would thrash violently amongst one another,”I’ve never gotten the chance to see the ocean before! It’s so pretty!” Tanjirou was more use to just seeing mountains and trees so it was a delight to finally see what he thought would only be in the books.

He glanced over to see Zenitsu prodding at the box that strapped snug against his back and saw Inosuke bending over the ledge of the ship, yelling.

“I am the God of the Forest! I will conquer you, God of the Waters!” He was attempting to chop at the waves.

Tanjirou frowned,”God of the Forest, huh..” His attention was pulled from the screeching boar from a tug on his green kimono. The mist pillar stood next to him with a lazed expression.

“Where is [Name]?” Muichiro asked,”She told me that if I helped load supplies to the ship, she would play with my hair. I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Ah, [Name]—“ Tanjirou took a quick scan of the boat. Most of the Hashiras were either wondering around or in their designated cabins,” Maybe she’s in her room?”

Muichiro shook his head,”Her room was empty.”

Tanjirou rubbed the back of his head,”I can help you go look for her.” He set his crate down near Zenitsu,”Zenitsu, watch Nezuko for me.”

“I would love too, Tanjirou! I’ll protect this crate with my life!—“

Muichiro and Tanjirou already began to explore the deck. They’ve knocked on other Hashiras’ rooms, asking if they have seen the Moon Hashira.

They’ve first attempted to ask Genya. He was at the front of the ship, lounging and basking in the sunlight.

“Ha? I don’t know where she went. Last time I saw her she was talking to my brother. I think they might be in the sparing room. I’ll let you know if I find her though.”

Muichiro and Tanjirou arrived to the sparring room which was at the back of the ship.

“Coming in,” Tanjirou announced as he slid the door aside, only to see a wooden staff fly forwards him,”ACK—“ he yelled in pain as the mist pillar grabbed his hair and yanked him towards the floor. The wooden staff embedded the wall behind them.

Muichiro stood up to stare at the pole,”Master will get mad about that...”

“Sorry.” Giyuu apologized, unfazed. He looked over to his sparing partner,”Sanemi got too heated up and tried to impale me with a stick.”

“WHY YOU!—“ Before Sanemi could attempt to turn Giyuu inside out, Tanjirou slid between the two and asked,

“Have you seen [Name]? We’re trying to look for her.”

“[Last Name]? Last time I saw her, she was in the kitchen. It’s her turn to cook tonight. She’s probably preparing something right now. NOW SCRAM.” Sanemi hissed before shoving the two younger demon slayers out and shutting the door,”Okay, you piece of shit. I’m going to use this stick to beat you so hard that your ass goes up your—“

Tanjirou quickly went downstairs with Muichiro to head towards the kitchen. He placed hand on Muichiro’s shoulder,

“Don’t worry, we’ll find [Name].”

Muichiro was in a moment of a daze as he stared down the hallway with a dozed off expression,”I wonder if [Name] can make me some of those cookies I like.”

When they entered the kitchen, the only residing Hashiras were Mitsuri and Kyoujurou. Mitsuri was digging through a few crates to possibly look for any sweets as the Kyoujurou stuffed his face with rice, loudly exclaiming how tasty it was. He noticed them when they walked them.

“Tanjirou, my boy! Do you want a snack? It’s really tasty!” The Flame Hashira exclaimed, setting down his plate to look at the Kamado.

Tanjirou shook his head,”No, we were wondering where [Name] is.”

“[Name]?” Mitsuri’s voice was muffled as a big bun was shoved into her mouth. She headed towards them before swallowing the entire thing,”She was here earlier but she said she had to see Shinobu real quick. But she’s been gone for a long while.”

“Should we go look for her, then?” Kyojurou asked as he stood up. Mitsuri nodded,”We can check with Shinobu! She’s probably in her room right now. Why don’t you two asked Obanai?”

Tanijrou frowned a bit, recalling that Obanai wasn’t a big fan of him nor the moon pillar,”I suppose we can... but I rather check on Shinobu myself.”

“Let’s all go together!” Kyojurou said before dragging them all back up the stairs to all the rooms.

••••••••••••

“[Name] isn’t here!” Shinobu exclaimed. Everyone sulked.

They literally searched the entire ship. Along the way, they dragged Inosuke and Zenitsu along but still no sign of the [hair color] haired Hashira.

They didn’t dare bother Obanai since he was asleep in his cabin nor Uzui since he was taking a very long ‘flamboyant’ bath.

“Where is she?”

•••••••••••••

At this point, everyone was looking for [Name], aside from the sound Hashira who was still doing his own thing. Obanai was woken up so... enthusiastically by the Flame Pillar. Kyojurou had to get his cheek bandages due to the snake biting him in the face when he kicked the door down.

“[Name]!”

“[Last Name]!”

“Wait, what if she’s in the water?” Zenitsu suggested.

All of a sudden, there was dead silence.

It was so quiet, one could hear a needle drop if it wasn’t for the loud, violent crashing of the waves.

Then, havoc broke out.

Nearly all of the Hashiras had scrambled to all edges of the boat in desperate attempt to find [Name].

Tanjirou nearly went into panic as he watched all of them draw out their swords. Everyone was now yelling or aggressively scanning the waters as desperate attempts to spot the Moon Hashira.

“I can evaporate the entire ocean! Maybe we can find her quicker!” Kyoujirou quickly stood on the ledge of the ship, hand at side, ready to whip out his sword.

“No, that’s not realistic!” Zenitsu yelled, trying to pull the man down before he could fall off the ship.

In the background, Genya was trying to drag his brother away from the edge; he was elbowed in the face and now on the ground, holding his face in pain.

Shinobu and Mitsuri were on the other side of the ship, leaning over the edges, calling out [Name]’s name. Obanai had left to find Uzui to get him to help find the loved Hashira.

Tanjirou was too occupied with Inosuke who had straight up dove into the water. The poor Kamado was throwing a rope into the water to try and fish his friend out. He was only pulled in to the waters, too which lead Muichiro into panic to jump in as well.

The door which lead to the main deck had slammed open. “What the hell is going on?” Uzui was not in a good mood. Obanai trailed behind him.

Tanjirou heaved in exhaustion as he managed to pull both Inosuke and Muichiro out of the waters,”Uzui! We— We are trying to find [Name]!”

Uzui’s angered expression slowly melted into a ‘done’ expression,”You.. You are all idiots.”

“HAH- What did you say?” Sanemi hissed, marching towards the taller man, leaving Genya to be dragged across the floor. Kyojurou walked over to them,”Uzui! Do you know where [Name] is? We believe she’s in the water since we looked all over the boat.”

The sound pillar pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved a sigh. “Have you ever bothered to look up?”

They took a moment to glance up.

“Can [Name] fly or something—“ Zenitsu was knocked out by Uzui punching him in the stomach.

“No, you fucking idiot!” Uzui was ready to throw everyone off the boat. He walked over to the large wooden pole that had the large, white sails strapped to them. About half way up the pole was the crow’s nest. It was hardly noticeable. He climbed the ladder that was attached to the pole to get into the crow’s nest.

When he poked his head into the entrance, the first thing he noticed was a light blue haori decorated of blue petals placed over the head of the missed demon slayer.

It was [Name]. She was curled and pressed against the side of the wall on the floor.

“Oi, [Name]!” Uzui said as he gently pulled her haori off of her head. He recoiled back in surprise to see how sick she looked. Her face was green and definitely looked dizzy.

The sound pillar felt worried. He climbed further to sit on the surface next to her,”Oi, [Name], you alright?”

Her only response was a soft groan. He couldn’t help but just stare in awe. She looked cute when she was sleeping.

He gently brushed his hand against her face, brushing the sweated strands of hair away from her forehead,”Well, it’s not at all flamboyant for you to be up here and not looked at.” He stood up, slipping his arms under her legs and head. He lifted her up and looked down at the other demon slayers who waited below him.

Most of their jaws were dropped.

How did no one check that area?

As Uzui was ready to carefully make his way down the mast of the ship, a large wave slammed into the side of the boat, jolting him.

“Oh shit—“

He tripped and fell against the side of the crow’s nest, fumbling the Moon Hashira, then she fell from his grip. [Name]’s eyes snapped open as she squealed. When she braved herself for impact, she felt herself fall into another pair of arms along with a soft grunt.

Everything around her spun. She absolutely hated the ocean. She knew the moment she stepped onto this boat, she was in for a hell ride. Thus, she had camped in the crow nest of the mast for nearly the entire day. When she opened her eyes, she met eye contact with darken blue eyes.

Giyuu had caught her.

[Name] felt herself grow warm just from the close contact,”Thank you, Gi—“ Her hand flew towards her mouth. She quickly squirmed out of Giyuu’s grasp much to his dismay. She threw half her body over the edge, gagging.

However, she didn’t throw up since she didn’t eat all day. She couldn’t bring herself to go to the kitchen. She was way too sick too. She felt a couple of hands rub her back in some sort of comfort. From the corner of her eye, she could see Kyojurou next to her and Shinobu on the other side.

“We should take you to my room, [Name]. It’s where you won’t feel the ship move as much.” Shinobu suggested,”And I can probably make you some tea to help calm down the nausea.”

“I think we should take her to my room instead, it has a large window and the fresh air is nice.” Muichiro said as he came up behind her.

“My bed is the softest! She needs to comfortable, so she should recover in my room!” Kyojurou declared.

All the hashira began to argue where [Name] should sleep. Tanjirou watched from the sides, befuddled why the Moon Hashira couldn’t just sleep in her own room.

“She doesn’t need the sun, it gives her a headache, my room would be better.” Obanai argued,”And I have Kaburamaru to watch over her too.”

“I have a softest chest she can cuddle into!” Mitsuri declared. All the Hashira went silent for a moment and stared at her.

“[Name] should just sleep in my room! She doesn’t need to deal with you dumb asses!” Sanemi yelled.

“Why would she be in a room so shitty and not flamboyant-“ Sanemi proceeded to punch Uzui in the face. It was now an all out brawl between the two.

Well, until one of them had slammed into [Name].

She gasped was sent over the ledge and into the raging waters with a loud splash. Now was a time time for everyone to freak out.

Giyuu immediately went over the ledge after her. The last thing she saw was Giyuu’s outstretched hand trying to grab her before she submerged into the sea.

Giyuu landed into the area near where she fell, however, he didn’t see her head go back up. He felt the anxiety as he desperately called out her name. He heard someone plummet into the waters next to him. Sanemi gasped as he lifted his head back above the waters,”Damnit, where did she go?! [Name]!”

The Wind Hashira felt another body slam onto the top of his head,”S-sorry, aniki!” Genya apologized as he literally landed on top of his brother.

“Genya, you little shit—!”

As Sanemi proceeded to try and attempt to drown his brother, Giyuu continued to try and look for [Name]. It didn’t take long to notice strands of [Hair]-colored floating up at the surface just a few feet away from him.

He paddles towards the direction and manage to pull [Name]’s upper body up and out of the surface.

[Name] gasped and sputtered. She grasped onto Giyuu’s mismatched haori. She felt his arms wound around her and pull her upwards so she would rest a bit against his chest. She felt Giyuu gently brush the wet strands of hair from her face. [Name]’s posture stiffened as she felt herself go flustered. Before Giyuu could hear anything, more yelling was heard from above.

Giyuu and [Name] looked up.

Rengoku had launched himself from the ledge and into the air; Tanjirou was latched onto his leg, screaming as Rengoku boasted about joining the fun.

“FIGHT ME, GODS OF THE OCEAN.” Inosuke screeched, being the next demon slayer to throw himself overboard.

“You stupid boar! Come here!” Zenitsu tried to grab the beast before falling himself.

“Iguro, Iguro! Let’s join too! This looks like a fun swim!” Kanjiro grabbed the Snake Hashira’s arm and jumped into the ocean, holding the poor man like a rag doll.

Everyone was basically yelling in the waters.

“This is quite a show.” Shinobu laughed as she walked up next to Uzui as he was shaking his head. Then, the commotion stopped.

It was silent.

“Did everyone just die?” Uzui silently muttered as he peered over the ledge. The scene below made him choke.

[Name]’s back was pressed against Rengoku and still squished against Giyuu, rendering her movements. Obanai was nearly on top of Giyuu, his weight slamming Giyuu downwards.

Giyuu’s face would have been in the water, however, it was pressed against [Name]’s farce.

An accidental kiss.

The two hashira fell silent, wide eyed and staring at one another.

Everyone was staring. The atmosphere went cold.

Slowly, Giyuu pulled away from the moon hashira. He stared at her, the look of shock still residing on his face.

“[Name], I—“

.

.

.

“YOU SLY PIECE OF SHIT!” Sanemi yelled as he slammed his elbow on top of Giyuu’s head, shoving Obanai into the water during the process.

“Sanemi, Sanemi! You’re going to drown him!” Tanjirou panicked only to get punched in the face as well.

“If we have to see who is the best in these waters, I will show you!” Kyoujirou shouted as he managed to throw himself over all three men.

[Name] felt Genya gently take her into his arms since he was smart enough to not get involved with the whole fiasco.

[Name] could see Inosuke punching at the waters, hitting Zenitsu in the process.

“Does this mean I won’t get my hair brushed?” Muichirou muttered as he stared at the bundle of demon slayers having an all out brawl in the ocean.

[pekorosu]

got my hands on the old radio drama for banana fish (thanks so much @vashak!! 😭) so im gonna do some mindless liveblogging bc i miss doing that shit

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

- their voices are KILLING ME

- okay you could say it's partly bc i'm used to their anime voices but i'm actually fine with eiji's voice! IT’S THE REST OF THEM THAT SOUND REALLY FUNNY

- especially marvin and arthur omg. i could not stop laughing when they showed up. i remember thinking anime!arthur sounded way too cool, but this version just went in the complete opposite direction

- ash's voice is a little deeper (?) than i expected. i don’t think that’s the right word for it but yeah... uchida yuuma's voice is closer to how i imagined it in terms of "youthfulness" but his is also a tad bit too "clean"...

- MEANWHILE MAX SOUNDS SO GRUFF AND MANLY LOL. now anime!max just sounds dopey in comparison

- i think the only person who doesn't make me feel like doubling over with laughter so far is dr. meredith, jenkins and eiji...

- skip sounds way too cute. son... 🥺

- the bgm when eiji and ibe first meet ash ADJHJDJSKFHKD 

- IT’S JUST HILARIOUS IN CONTRAST WITH THE EARLIER BG ROCK MUSIC

- omg now it sounds a bit like pokemon music

- eiji: CAN I TOUCH UR GUN ash: SURE *pokemon music*

- HAHA EIJI'S STUPID GIGGLE

- eiji: HEY CAN I ASK U SOMETHING ash: SURE eiji: HAVE U KILLED ANYONE BEFORE ash: YUP *cheerful pokemon music continues*

- SHORTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- i like shorter’s voice! 👌 it actually sounds similar to his anime voice, just less nasally, i think

- this version of ash sounds more uhh... forceful? emotional? idk how to describe it lol but i feel like his VA tends to 1) overdo it, or 2) get it tonally wrong for the situation...

- nooooooooooooo they removed my favourite eiji line before he jumps over the wall i was WAITING FOR IT

- hmmm the scenes just don’t have that oomph... i think it’s bc they're pushing through the scenes very quickly... then again, the anime had the same issue but their VAs still did a better job compared to this...

- i guess ash and eiji will always have sad gay piano music whatever version they're in :')

- ash's voice is starting to grow on me even though i still think he sounds off at certain parts that demand more subtlety. max on the other hand, is like, REALLY BAD................... imo

- "and then he kissed me" HAHAHAHA IT WAS NARRATED yeah well duh what was i expecting this isn’t a BL drama cd

- gOD arthur's voice dsfkajskghjfsdlg

- shorter's so cool tho im love 🤩

- love all the 90s gunshot sfx. PEEUNG PEEUNG PEEUNNNGGSSHHHH

- lol eiji and ibe actually sound more like friends than Concerned Dad and Reckless Son

- ash's reaction to griff's death is played so cool... no outbursts just :/ and then the scene straight away jumps to them drinking lol

- ash's crying is so manly...

- WHY IS THE CAR SCENE SO FUNNY

- ok im a lil mad bc that was the ONE scene where eiji got to rebel but this version is just 😂😂😂

- literally:

ash: anyway, imma borrow this car for a bit. eiji: *hops in* i’m coming along!!! >:DDD ash: wtf get out ibe: *knocking frantically on the window* oi eiji!!! eiji: *very cutely* c’mon if u don’t hurry up u'll get caught again :))))) ash: tch -_- *brrm brrms away*

and then they eloped

- oh my god........ is that lee dude's VA trying to do a “chinese” accent in japanese............................

- !!!! this part! i liked the way ash sounded when he was amused by eiji's naive comment about the lees. i think i prefer this take over the anime where ash was more stoic. and i like that you can hear him switching to his DEEP VOICE OF SERIOUSNESS lol.

- i also liked the next bit where shorter warns eiji to keep his head down and eiji's like WHY ARE U TRYNA PROTECT ME I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF >:T hehe iirc that wasn't in the anime

- ...i'll just put it here bc it's a rare moment that i rly enjoyed so far

- aaaand we're back to cheesy gunshot sounds

- hearing jennifer's voice feels so soothing after almost an hour of deep voices

- who sounds scarier when picking a fight? radio drama!max = 1, anime!max = -5

- ash's dad: who the hell are u guys and why are you hanging around ash. max: i’m max. i'm a friend of griffin's, we were in the same squad in vietnam. shorter: name's shorter. eiji: my name is eiji. i'm japanese.

sdfsfsdghkfhk how is that relevant to the question EIJI PLS 

- that said, they actually toned down quite a lot of eiji's doofiness huh

- i truly feel like eiji's a lot less "damsel in distress" and more "chill but curious bystander", while ash is closer to the typical shounen manga protag here 

- damn jessica doesn't sound as awesome as i’d hoped. the anime rly spoiled me haha

- OMG yut-lung's voice. it's so... cute... 🥺🥺

- this ENTIRE freakin scene where shorter threatens to kill eiji just lost its gravity thanks to:

1) arthur's voice sounding like a disney villain’s henchman 2) lee dude’s AWFUL accent 3) EVERYONE TALKING SO QUICKLY 4) THE OVERDRAMATIC BG VIOLINS AND DRUMS

- hmm, i think i might actually like eiji’s voice in this version more than the anime now! sorry nojima

- abraham actually sounds kinda intimidating here

- LMAO SING'S VOICEEEEE. too nasally for me XD

- oh wow, i think i prefer this version of shorter going nuts... not that the anime is worse, just that it chose to emphasize more on the tragedy of the situation while this one focuses more on the terror and urgency. probably bc of the bg music lol. also shorter’s abs were very distracting in the anime

- weapon room scene: ash sounds TOO out of breath and panicky here, but i guess it fits the context of the radio drama... it's inaccurate compared to the manga tho

- another issue i have... ibe's VA sucks. sorry but he always sounds so flat or inappropriate for the situation ><

- god this rescue scene still sounds ridic on 2nd listen... it's so over the top I CAN'T

- i gotta say, even if i were to disregard how i personally imagined ash’s voice, uchida yuuma still does it better acting-wise. i know voice acting has to involve some level of exaggeration but sometimes less is more, y’know?

- it sure feels like this radio drama is intent on cutting out as much gay as they can more interested in spotlighting the plot and action scenes, bc a lot of the convo scenes seem to have been cut...

- also the "pls come back" scene was like... so bro. no more “i’ll wait for you always”. NO HOMO. booooooooooo. but strangely enough i found the acting in it better than in the previous scenes.

- altho from what i remember, ash and eiji's VAs sounded like they had p good chemistry... but maybe it's a bit too early to say, i'll have to hear more of their casual banter to decide

- ash finding shorter's corpse scene: sorry but the anime wins, hands down 

- so eiji's VA is... inoue kazuhiko? wasn't that the guy who played kakashi from naruto or something? lol i don't even go there

- gotta say, the ED song is the part that i enjoyed the most XD seriously tho, it's a nice song! and the lyrics makes up for all the lost gay haha

- okay that’s it for the first CD. nothing much of interest here, and BF starts off slow in terms of ash/eiji content anyway, so hopefully there’s more to comment on in the next CD ����

[sexyshakespeare]

Sasuke comes home - Part 3: You’re special to me

“Man, that cockroach was huge..”, I muttered to myself. It was the third of the day. This kitchen sure was filthy. I had managed to clean out the cabinets under the sink and the sink itself. The stove was wiped down with soap and dried.The fridge needed some serious sponging. Thankfully, I had cleaning supplies in the closet. I was a very proper, clean kid once upon a time. Living in an underground cave and on the road for the rest of my life had shot a bullet through that side of me. I had temporarily started to live like a dirty vagabond because, a dirty vagabond I was.  But now, it was time to revel in wiping down refrigerator gunk. That’s depressing. I sighed woefully as I removed the shelves from the fridge and scrubbed them down with soap water. The whole process must have taken at least an hour to do. Should I have just gone and bought another fridge..  I observed my work of art, a little smirk showing on my lips. With a sense of finality, I reached over and turned on the power to the fridge. I had had the good sense to check the power first of course, and as expected, it hummed to life.  After a quick mop and wipe of the counters, I was ready to hit the market for groceries. I quickly washed up and headed to the village produce market.   Everywhere around me I saw supermarkets and convenience stores. There were a few obasan selling vegetables off to the side, but too few in comparison. I went into one supermarket, feeling strange.  I, Uchiha Sasuke was wheeling a trolley down the vegetables aisle looking for carrots. I felt several pairs of eyes on me as I picked out tomatoes. I got myself some potatoes while another lady busily picked some out too. She handed me a larger potato that she didn’t need in exchange for two small ones from my basket. It calmed me, this simple act, I don’t really know why.  When I was done with vegetables, I went to get myself some condiments and spices. Shoyu was a must, as was sweet vinegar. A little boy came running into the aisle. We both stood side by side looking at all the different spices in little bottles. We both looked on with awe. As he reached for the chilli, I picked it up and handed it to him. “Arigato Sasuke san!”, he yelled cheerfully and ran back the way he had come.  Does everybody know who I am? I got conscious suddenly and readjusted my bangs, making sure to cover up that weird eye. Well, my other eye was weird too put apparently not as weird. I really really really don’t want a kid coming up to me asking to see my Sharingan. I groaned slightly at the possibility and suddenly wished I had just asked one of Kakashi’s chunins to do the shopping. 

I wheeled my cart towards the cashier as fast as I could. As the young woman billed me she said, “Do you cook Sasuke-san?”, beaming at me as she did. I muttered quietly in the affirmative, pretending to be busy picking out the change from my wallet. I grabbed my bags and headed back towards my shitty little flat.  It was about 6 pm on a Saturday. The Saturday that Sakura would be coming over. And bringing things for the apartment. And having dinner with me. And..  My eyes widened with panic. She’s coming to my home. This was very poorly planned. What would we talk about. What happens after dinner, do I just ask her to leave? Will she leave on her own? Dinner guests tended to leave on their own, right? I couldn’t bear to ask her to leave. What if we just talked all night and she fell asleep here. How much would we even talk, that’s not possible. 

I started to wash and cut the vegetables. I had bought some duck as well at the poultry shop next door. I set about cutting off its head and draining the blood from the body. Before I went ahead, I put on an apron I had bought. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any other kinds of aprons at the combini. I felt like an idiot, but it didn’t matter right now. Kiss the shinobi cook would have to do. 

Ridiculous. Itachi used to make duck roast for us when our parents were away. It would take him exactly 3 hours during which he’d get all the sides done. I smiled at the fond memories flooding my mind. I left the skin on the potatoes and cut them the way he’d taught me to. I remembered cutting my pinky finger once while doing this chore. 

Niisan, make chocolate pudding now. Itte ittee. You have to make it now cause it’s my favourite. 

Sasuke! Did you cut yourself just so I’d make that. Seriously, you’re such a- 

Niiiisaaaaaan- 

With a large grin on my face, I started on the sauce. The cut vegetables were boiling. I put in shoyu, chilli powder and vinegar and let it simmer. The duck needed to be cut up, washed and basted. After about half an hour had passed, I put the readied duck breast and legs in the oven. I’d add in the vegetables after about an hour. While the duck cooked, I put some rice in the little steamer I had borrowed from Hinata. I’d fry it up with some ginger to flavour it, to go with the duck.  The clock showed 8 pm before long. The last leg of the preparations was in motion. The duck was sitting with its vegetables, the fatty juices bubbling and bathing them. I took out the duck pieces and put them in the fry pan to glaze with the now cooled sauce. The smells in the kitchen were making me mad with hunger. I contemplated eating a leg or two, nothing she would notice- but then settled for some cola from the fridge. 

At 8:45 pm, the duck, rice and miso soup were ready, sitting on the kitchen counter. I wiped down and brought out plates and chopsticks for us. Carefully, I set the plates down on the little table, the glasses for water, the chopsticks. I even bought napkins for us, the nice smooth velvety kind. I arranged the duck and rice on the table, leaving a bowl of miso each on either side. For a minute or two, I kept fidgeting with the duck breast, aligning it one way or the other. Taking a sharp breath in, I saw the time was 9:05 PM. As I stared at that dusty grey, rectangular clock on the wall I suddenly realized that I had forgotten dessert. Kussoo. I looked up at the ceiling in despair, wishing I had made that chocolate pudding. I would have loved to eat it after this tiring day.  Then I heard a knock on the door. My head snapped in its direction and I immediately walked towards it. Taking a deep breath, I wondered if I should open it with a smile, or if I ought to say something the second I opened it. There you are! or I hope you like duck! No, that would be stupid. Just open the fucking door.  I quietly opened the front door and saw an anxious faced Sakura standing before me. Her hair was put up in a little bun, little chunks of her hair fanning around it, loose strands falling to her neck. Her neck. She was wearing a dress, no sleeves. Her neck was very visible right now.  “Sasuke-kun?”

The color of her dress matched her eyes well, I thought. It was a jade green, her dress. Her neckline went lower than I’ve ever seen. 

“Sasuke-kun.. can I come in..?”  I suddenly snapped out of it and realized that I hadn’t said a word to her for a while now. I now noticed that she had bags on the floor next to her, with little frames and things sticking out. “OH- yeah. Sorry. Come in..”, I managed to say. She started to pick up her things, and I helped her. 

We carried the bags to the couch. “What’s all this?”, I asked her curiously. She beamed at me. “Why they’re for your apartment of course! You asked me to brighten up the place.. right?” 

I started to take out the things from their bags, smiling at them, when in fact I was smiling because she had remembered. Sakura looked embarrassed as I pulled out framed photos of cat after cat, all cartoons or paintings. “Um- it’s a sort of neko overload- sorry”, she said. I started smiling wider as I pulled out a shuriken shape. “Is this for the wall? To hang?”  She nodded gleefully. “I mean. We could have just hung up an old shuriken of yours, but I figured you’d rather use that in actual battle than put it on a wall...”, she explained in a quick breath. 

I found a bundle of cloth in one of the bags that I unfolded. “Oh- perfect. I needed curtains.” 

“You like them? I’m sorry, all they had were Sakura prints-”

I looked at her and smiled. “Red and black are some of my favourite colours-” I stood up and put the curtain against the window to show her. The little sakura flowers were red on a black background. She smiled at my reaction and pointed at the rest of the stuff, starting to apologize again. 

“I really love them. Thank you for getting them for me. The cats are- great. Really..”, I chuckled and tapped the cartoon of a chubby calico. She laughed too.  Then her gaze went to the table with the food on it. Her eyes swallowed in every detail it seemed, which made me nervous. She stood up slowly and turned to me. “You made all of that.. for tonight?”  I felt my cheeks burning and looked away from her eyes, “Yeah.. I hope it tastes good-” She was looking straight at me now. I couldn’t help but make eye contact. Her eyes sparkled as they trailed from my face to my chest. I felt extremely conscious all of a sudden, and also like my chest was ugly for some reason.  She was struggling not to laugh, but a little giggle escaped her pink lips anyway. “That’s a cute apron..”  I stared at her for a second or two, slowly processing what she was referring to. Her lips pulled in different directions as she bit them, to stop the laughter. Then it dawned on me. I quickly put my hands on my chest and scrunched up the cloth to hide it, blushing severely as I did. I started to remove the apron and tried my best to sound dignified, “The stupid shop didn’t have normal aprons so I had to take this silly fucking thing.”  “NO it’s-it’s really cute. Just.. doesn’t go with-you..”, Sakura giggled some more, some strands of hair falling over her face as she shook with laughter. I looked at her, wanting to touch her hair again, smiling at her laughing. There wasn’t a purer sound in the world than that.  “The food will get cold. Let’s eat.”, I said and pulled out a chair for her. I sat opposite her. “Itadakimasu”, we both said in unison and started on our soup. I served her some of the duck and rice with it. “OISHII! SASUKE-KUN! YOU COOK LIKE THIS? WHY HAVEN’T YOU EVER TOLD ME!”  I looked at her, surprised at her reaction. She tended to be loud. “Uh-Yeah I guess. I really haven’t cooked a lot in my life..”, I shrugged it off, not wanting to talk about myself too much. It was strange to be under the spotlight, even if it was a small spotlight between two people at dinner.  “It’s so good, I want to die!”, she said with her mouth full of rice. A grain or two fell out of her mouth and she patted at it with the napkin, looking embarrassed. That made me smile a little too much. She must have thought I was laughing at her. I really hope she didn’t think that.  As we ate our meal, I was panicking slightly. I didn’t know what to talk about. Small dinner banter was really not my thing. I looked up at her from time to time to gauge her mood. She seemed to be in a pleasant mood, but I couldn’t read anything else. She also looked up at me from time to time and smiled. All the things I ought to be saying and all the things I could be saying were flashing through my mind. Instead my eyes strayed to her neckline again. 

In an instant, Sakura’s napkin fell off the side of the table. I was about to pick it up when she stopped me and proceeded to do so herself. That’s when I saw her leg come out of a slit in her dress. I could not for the life of me pull my eyes away. Oh God, you’re being creepy. At least say something while you check her out. Don’t just stare.  I really could not be bothered to come up with something to say at the moment. I could barely manage to chew my food straight. Sakura straightened up and continued to eat. She looked so beautiful in that dress and I hadn’t even worn a nice shirt for the occasion. 

She really did look beautiful. It was a strange feeling, to notice that in a woman. I had noticed it about her before, but this was different. This was very pointedly about her appearance. 

My thoughts went back to when Karin used to dress provocatively around me. That couldn’t have just been coincidence like I had imagined then. She had made some advances too. But it hadn’t fazed me in the least. It was so strange, the difference- how I had felt nothing biting into that woman’s neck, and how I felt just looking at Sakura’s neck right now.  I felt so horrible for looking so much, she had no idea even. It was plain wrong. I forced myself to stare at my empty plate instead. She’s an attractive woman. Sure. She knows that. We all know that in Konoha. You just noticed. That’s nothing to be announced.  I looked away from the table, to one bag that we hadn’t opened. And then I remembered something to say, though I said it unhappily. “I forgot to make dessert-” My voice resounded in a disappointed way.  “Oh I’m so glad! I brought us some flavoured mochi.”, she smiled at me. “It’s my favourite kind, strawberry. I wanted you to try some, my mom makes them.”  I stood up and started to clear her plate. “Sakura isn’t your favourite flavour?”, I smiled back at her. She made a face, “No- sakura mochi is just weird.” She began to help with the dishes. We put them in the sink one by one.  “Well- I like how sakura tastes”, I said unwittingly. Sakura started to go red standing next to me. I don’t think I go red when I’m flustered, but I started to sweat. 

Why are you such a goof. Change the fucking subject, NOW. 

My eyes moved to the unopened paper bag sitting on the couch once again. “What’s in that? Something else for the house?” She looked relieved that I had broken the tension. “The mochi is in there- oh and a little present for you.”  I looked at her perplexed. “Wasn’t all of that enough of a present-”, I laughed.  When we were done with the dishes, we sat on the couch and she brought out the home-made mochi for us. She also pulled out a bottle of sake with a pink ribbon tied around the neck. “Thought you might like this. It’s a nice flavour..”, she placed the bottle on the table.  I chewed on the sticky mochi with delight. It was yummy stuff. “It’s really nice Sakura.” Her legs poked out from the slits in her dress slightly, taking up a large chunk of my attention span. They seemed to be looming up at me. I quietly ate my mochi, trying not to look too hard. 

She adjusted herself a bit to hide them. I felt like screaming. I made her conscious about it because I was staring. What is wrong with me. I’ve seen women before. Why am I behaving like a 13 year old.  The tension between us was very palpable now. She was clearly uncomfortable, probably regretting the whole thing already. I eyed the sake and immediately said, “Why don’t we open that now- that’s a good idea.”  Sakura protested politely, “You don’t have to Sasuke-kun. It’s for you-” I grabbed the bottle and went to find glasses for us. “When am I going to drink something alone anyway..” I found glasses, and washed them a bit, before bringing them to her.  “Well okay. If you’re sure.. I’ll have some-”, she gave in a little too fast. I looked at her suspiciously. “Don’t tell me you drink like Tsunade does now..”, I teased her. She rushed to defend herself, “NO- she doesn’t drink all that much anymore. She’s treated me now and then after a hard week of work that’s all!” I laughed a little and poured for us. “You don’t have to explain all that to me- I’m not judging.”, I clinked my glass with her’s and drained it down my throat in one go. She blinked at me in surprise. “Sasuke-kun, when did you start drinking like that?” I poured some more for myself, thinking back to the days travelling in Hebi. I was so sour all the time, I found that downing a few glasses of sake would help with my mood. I’d stop with that much, cause it was just enough for me to not snap at everyone around me, but not too much that I’d let Karin snuggle up to me and not move.  I downed another glass. “Ah it’s just for the nerves.”  “Why are you nervous?”, she sipped at her glass. She was clearly holding herself back, I could tell. 

I sat very still for some time, thinking about what I could say next. As I sipped my third little glass of sake, I looked at her. “You really drink that slowly? Or are you just trying to be appropriate. Wait-am I being inappropriate? Drinking with you like this?”, the questions kept piling up in my head and I kept vomiting them out with abandon.  She smiled at me slowly. “Well Sasuke-kun, I happen to know that this sake is stronger than the kind I usually take. It’s a special variety.”  I thought back to the sake I used to drink. It was some awful cheap kind that we found in little stores on our travels. It didn’t taste half as good as this did.  “OH-OH I see..”, I exclaimed. I considered being quiet for the rest of the night, but it just didn’t seem to work, my plan.  She sipped some more and crossed one leg over the other. She looked very strong and poised at the moment, leaning back. I turned on my side to face her. My head resting on my hand, I looked at her. 

She began to speak,“Thank you for making this meal for us. You really didn’t have to.. You could’ve ordered in or even made cup ramen for us-”  ”Hey-Hey, I’d never make fucking cup ramen for you the first time you came over...”, I frowned at her, my eyes narrowing. I started to laugh. “I’d make cup ramen for that doggy guy- Kiba or someone if they suddenly came over one night-” She started smiling and biting her lip.  ”Sakura- you’re special. I’d only ever cook a proper meal for you if you came over”, I said to her face. Her eyes fixed on mine, her lips parted slightly. I felt very conscious suddenly and tried to make light of what I had said. “You know that! You’re- you’re a member of team Kakashi- we’ve gone through so much together...” My voice trailed off and my eyes struggled to find a place to rest that wasn’t her eyes or her neck. Her hair seemed to suffice for now. I looked at her hair, the little jade stone comb she had fixed in place, the etching of a flower on the stone...  ”Sasuke-kun...”  A thought occurred to me, a rather scary thought. Before I could process it, I decided to tell her because it was worth sharing. It really was a scary thought. I looked at her alarmed, “I mean, Naruto is a part of team Kakashi too but I don’t mean him. I mean he’s special and all that but that’s not what I meant-”  ”Sasuke-kun!”, Sakura raised her voice a little. My mind snapped to attention. Seeing that, she smiled widely. Then her smile faded until just a little smirk remained on her pink lips. Her eyes lowered as she said, “I’d really love that... you cooking for me, the way you did tonight-”  That look on her face was driving me crazy. I felt like I’d cook every single meal in the day for her just to have her look like that when she talks about it. I’d pack her a bento when she went to the hospital, and she’d look like that when she opens it.  I gulped slowly, the sound of my heart was filling the room. Please don’t hear this. I sipped some more of the sake, trying to calm down. I felt foolish. I was praying she brings up a topic, something we could talk about it and not just have extreme blushy reactions to.  “Where did you even learn to cook so well?”, she asked excitedly. I smiled at her and looked up at the ceiling to remember. “Ah I’ve learnt since I was 5 probably-” I looked back at her face and continued. “Itachi used to cook for us as kids. He was so good at all of this, he was a freaking genius!”, I smiled really wide, my teeth showing. I tried to hide them by pursing my lips, but my eyes glimmered with the memories of a past life. “He would make excuses to our parents, say that he used up all his pocket money- and get more to buy expensive ingredients. Then when they were out, he’d try new recipes and have me taste them.”  I put my legs up on the couch and hugged them to my chest, my eyes glazing over. “He made me the best chocolate pudding ever, every time I’d fall or scrape a knee-” Sakura moved closer to me, and put her legs up on the couch too. I looked at her, she had her chin in her hands, her hands resting on her knees. “EHH really? That’s amazing. What a great niisan-”, she said, her eyes sparkling.  She totally knew I was drunk now. But she didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t care. Sakura just listened to me with her beautiful green eyes pouring over my face, her pink hair bobbing around every time she laughed, her lips always stretching into a smile at just the right moments.  I stopped thinking about what I was saying now. I just talked and talked and talked. I felt like I was 6 years old. “Niisan used to lie to me, saying that he’d teach me the shuriken- but he never did. He just lied to me all the time-”, I said frowning slightly, taking another swig of the sake.  Sakura took the bottle from me and took a small swig too. Her speech was slurring slightly. “Awww- little Sasuke-kun must have annoyed him wanting shuriken practice all the time! You can’t blame him!”  I turned to her feeling indignant. “Well- I didn’t need him. I learnt on my own-” She laughed loudly at me and put her hands on my lap, “Gomen! Gomen! I didn’t mean it like that- awww look at your face-”  I didn’t know what she was talking about. I felt like I ought to be annoyed with her, stop this game right now.  But I couldn’t. I could not stop wanting to play this game where she laughed at me and her giggling was uncontrolled. Her hair was almost all out of her bun now, strands of pink getting in her eyes.  She kept struggling to take the hair out of her eyes, and then going back to laughing. I leaned forward a bit and carefully parted her hair, removing it from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. 

Sakura stopped laughing. She gulped visibly, and stared at my face like a cornered animal would its hunter. “What-”, I whispered. “I’m not going to eat you-”, I whispered again. She smiled and then chuckled. “Oh- I know that-”  I was very close to her now, her smell strong and intoxicating. I went a little quiet now, trying to gather my thoughts. I felt like it had to be said. I touched her face with my fingers lightly, trailing away. “Thank you for coming tonight..”, I said slowly. I frowned slightly, the memory of bad times filling my head, “I haven’t laughed like this since my parents died...”  She looked at me carefully, seriously. She took my hand and squeezed it with both of hers. Her eyes looked sad, as she nodded slightly at me in understanding. “I want nothing more than to do this for you, any time you want..”, she said to me.  I really wanted to lean in to her lips. I really wanted to hold her face in my hands and part her lips with mine... smell her...bite her. My eyes widened a little, I took a sharp breath, trying to knock out that thought from my head. I can’t bite her- get it together man. I pulled away slightly, ashamed. She seemed to come out of her dream-like state too. She was conscious of her bare legs uncovered now from the slits in her dress. I can’t believe I had actually missed that before. Well, they had my full attention now, and it was uncomfortable to say the least. 

I cleared my throat, and looked at the time. It was half past 2 am. She followed my lead and exclaimed in alarm, “OH MY- is that really the time? It is late- we should head to bed Sasuke-kun...”  I exhaled slowly as we made awkward eye contact. “I mean- my bed- our beds- our s-separate beds-”, she sputtered. I interrupted her, her panic infecting me as well, “Yeah- of course- you’ll be fine getting home? You won’t get lost or anything? It’s dark and you’re- inebriated...”  “Yeah- I’ll be fine. And besides, you’re inebriated too, probably more than I am-” , she giggled at me again. I was starting to absolutely love that giggle. I shrugged, “You know what you’re doing. Sakura-senpai, I have a lot to learn from you-” That little quip made her blush, as expected. I smirked a little at my sly manipulative skills. 

She stood up with me and instantly toppled onto me. I lifted her up, being careful not to let my hands or my eyes linger. I felt awful for enjoying that clumsy exchange as much as I did. She had no idea...  Sakura took the comb out of her hair. Her shoulder-length pink hair, though wild and pretty was now covering up her neck. I was saddened. She made her way to the front door, turned around and beamed. “Oyasuminasai Sasuke-kun!”, she shouted. I cringed and shushed her. “Oyasuminasai Sasuke-kun!”,she repeated but in a forceful whisper now. I chuckled at her and returned the phrase, “Oyasumi.” 

She tiptoed down the stairs of the quiet building and out on to the street. I watched her walk pretty straight for most of the way, till I could not see her anymore. Then, I went inside and threw myself on my bed.  I didn’t want to think about what this night would mean tomorrow. I just knew that I still really wanted to kiss her, really hard. I smiled to myself. How had she known exactly what to say.. My head was filled with images of her laughing as I fell asleep. 

[ionlycareaboutteam7-blog]

why do sasunaru shippers hate sasusaku more than naruhina/sakura more than hinata? || aka a sasunaru shipper explaining why sasusaku is better than naruhina in every conceivable way

yeah yeah this isn’t my lane as a sasunaru shipper to comment on ss because it’s not my ship but it IS my lane to comment on sasuke and sakura, 2 of my favourite naruto characters.

this is my first post about naruto or any series in quite awhile, so excuse any possible errors on my part, but i’ve been thinking and i’d like to write out my thoughts on a particular subject. i’m back with a controversial opinion, of course because those are the only ones i’ll ever have

if you ship sasunaru and u viciously hate sakura i suggest going into this post with an open mind because... you aren’t gonna like a lot of what is said here but i suggest reading anyways :-)

during my time in naruto fandom i’ve noticed a trend among sasunaru shippers(and anti ending people in general), sakura is the butt of all of the jokes and especially after the manga ending and gaiden being released people have loved to make jokes about SS’s marriage but hinata never gets the same negative treatment and my thoughts are only

why?

act i: underratus sasusakus

i’m going to get straight to the point and say my opinion. sakura and sasusaku especially are given extremely unfair treatment and exaggerated belittlement among the sasunaru fandom. allow me to explain why

if you love this bitch right here

you should have done enough character analysis to realize these few things about him

1: he was completely deprived of love and any connections from like age 7 up until he met naruto, sakura and kakashi

2: he felt like he had to push everyone he cares about away because he saw it as weak

and 3: underneath all of his trauma he’s kind hearted

so knowing all of these obvious things, why would you say that in moments like these

he is actually trying to shake off someone he doesn’t like at all and only sees as a girl with an annoying crush?

or alternatively, why would you say he’s abusive and she deserves better but then go and ship him with your favourite character? it’s so transparent and it’s obviously just a filler excuse so you don’t have to actually look into the character dynamics and how they work because you don’t want to admit that your least favourite ship actually isnt awful.

Sasuke isn’t the type of person that would have such disregard and apathy towards a person that’s shown him nothing but love throughout the entire series. that goes against his entire character’s philosophy and most of the arguments seem to be pulled out of thin air also

He obviously cares about sakura plain and simple, no mental gymnastic argument in the world can disregard plain canon evidence. if youre so set on the idea that sasuke doesn’t give a shit about sakura, then i’m gonna raise the question: why would you have a character who doesn’t care about one of his teammates that supported him as ur fave? which leads me to my next point

there’s obviously gonna be theeese kind of people:

“of course my precious baby sasuke loves his team, but sakura has a selfish love and she will never deserve him!!!!”

there are SO many anti sakura arguments from sasunaru shippers that are just plain wrong so i’m gonna use this opportunity to crush them all

“sakura only liked sasuke cause he was hot and popular”

after sakura was surprised that the kid guessed she liked sasuke, she was informed he was popular with the girls

so that one panel gets rid of that argument

“sakura doesn’t really love sasuke, she was going to kill him...”

...because she thought it was her ONLY OPTION to save him from himself, she thought he was too far gone and it wasn’t until naruto showed up that she had hope again (which is why sasunaru shippers being as threatened by ss as they are is so dumb and crazy)

personally i don’t like this aspect of ss and heavily prefer the sasunaru dynamic with the whole eternal never giving up on you thing because it scratches my particular shipping itch but it’s foolish to say that sakura doesn’t love sasuke period, she obviously does and she does deeply and she’s one of the closest people to him and always will be

Sasusaku gets tons of unfair hate just because of the long running anti Sakura meme, and it’s always been the scapegoat of the anti naruto ending crowd. But it’s silly to me because it makes sense that if sasuke doesn’t end with naruto, he would end with sakura

aside from naruto, his closest living person is sakura plain and simple. she’s done nothing but love him, maybe not as absolutely and unconditionally as naruto has, and maybe she did falter but it’s more than anyone else in the entire series(besides naruto) has and it’s more than he’s ever got from anyone else (besides naruto lol) so if sasunaru doesn’t happen why on earth would you be upset that the boy who was so deprived of love for his entire life ended up with this girl?

if not naruto, sakura is the best person for sasuke plain and simple because literally who else in the series (besides naruto) put up with all of his baggage for the entirety of the series, + she raised his child when he was MIA and sarada actually grew up to be a diligent and intelligent ninja. i ain’t even mad when people ship SS

sasuke has recognized all of this, too.

and has thanked sakura for all of the love she’s ever provided for him throughout the years, even when he was not himself and hurting her, she always just wanted him to be okay, and he appreciates it. so of course he married sakura, duh.

you cant even be threatened by their eye smex

because sasuke gives naruto bedroom eyes all day long

he gives a shit about sakura okay?!?! sakura gives a shit about him okay?!?! it’s okay to acknowledge that his canon marriage isn’t the devil while still realizing the objective superiority of your otp!!!!!

all of this can be summarized into, for some reason sasusaku threatens the sasunaru fandom and leads them into having bullshit mental gymnastic arguments against it for no real reason when....

the real monster of the series is naruhina.

act ii: naruheinous disgustus

NARUHINA IS THE WORST SHIP TO EVER COME OUT OF ANY SHOUNEN MANGA, OR ANY MANGA EVER EXCEPT MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE VAMPIRE KNIGHT. I said it.

sorry about coming off a little strong there, but i have a lot to say about this matter, and you know i’m for real when i have a lot to say about something that has so very little.

it seems to me like most sasunaru shippers don’t actually care about naruhina and just give it a free pass cuz it’s boring and she’s nice and cute and whatever

but naruhina is so much worse than sasusaku on every imaginable level

so, so much worse

because where sasusaku at least has friendship

naruhina has nothing

at least where sasusaku has care and chemistry

naruhina has a bland empty space

because hinata is a bland and empty character

[due to plot holes and retcon in the last and other filler, i will only be using kishimoto’s material for this post. but hey, since naruhina is canon only the author written material has to be enough, right? right....? please guys he ships our ship he made it canon i swear he planned everything to end with their epic moon(who sasuke) love story]

we get shown this when naruto gets introduced to hinata and his only impression of her is that she’s a weirdo

We get this when Naruto never ever noticed Hinata, while Sasuke was actively trying to cheer Sakura up

naruhina in part 1 has absolutely NO basis at all. it’s absolutely nonexistent from naruto’s side.

unfortunately... it remains that way.

this moment. this fucking moment is when it all started to go downhill. i mean, naruhina was always at the bottom but this is when it becomes apparent that the ship is never going to pick itself back up.

i’m not going to be one of the people who say that after naruto completely ignored her confession that she should just never think about him again and find a new guy, that’s unreasonable.

however,

naruto completely ignored her confession! in fact, i don’t even think he ignored it. i think it just never occured to him that he should even talk to her which is even sadder imo... sasuke, who is apparently the devil to sasuke, at least y’know... thanked her.

after this happened we never saw hinata’s reaction to this, her feelings on why naruto never replied to her, we never even see her doing anything outside of thinking about naruto/talking to naruto period unless it’s a fight in a flashback

it’s almost like hinata is an NPC in the naruverse programmed to react to anything naruto related and nothing else. you can definitely not say this about sakura, she has a defined personality. Hinata doesn’t.

don’t even understand how this

[sending her son to fight alone against an enemy of unknown strength and only telling him to... take care of naruto-kun]

could ever be favoured over this

sakura > hinata

sasusaku > naruhina

sasunaru shippers = dumb for hating on sasusaku and giving naruhina a free pass

[benasabrina]

Smoky Breakfast

So, this is gonna be the start (or rather a little ficlet) of my “kakashi adopts sakura” idea that’s been bouncing around in my head! I’m a little late for father’s day, buuuuuuuuut... better late than never! 

Fandom: Naruto

Ships: N/A

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura

Words: 733

Premise: Sakura wakes up early and realizes it’s Father’s Day! Wanting to do something special for her dad, she decides to make him a very special breakfast!

Fic link: AO3 / FF.net

Fic under the read more!!

Morning came much to quickly for Sakura’s liking. With a soft groan, she shifted in her bed, her eyes peeked at the time and she sighed loudly. After the sigh, she quickly covered her mouth and hoped she didn’t wake up her dad.

Well, rather her step-dad. But, dad nonetheless. He was pretty much all she ever knew. Even if he was over protective… Sakura huffed and sat up in bed. Maybe today will be different. Maybe today he’ll actually train with her! At least, she hoped he would.

‘Papa is a very busy man…’ she thought to herself then glanced over to the calendar in her room and gasped at what day it was. “Father’s Day?! Oh, my God, I have to do something for Papa…” She pondered for a brief moment and an idea struck her. “I know!”

Sakura hopped out of bed and quickly got ready for the day. She showered, brushed her teeth, and got dressed in her usual outfit. Grinning to herself, she tied a bow in her hair, nodded at her reflection and bounded towards the kitchen to make them both some breakfast.

“He’ll sure be glad to see this when he wakes up!” was all she said as she started some eggs and rice.

xXx

He slept soundly for the first time in ages. A soft snore left his throat as he turned onto his side. He probably could have slept for a while longer, that is, until he smelled something coming from the kitchen. At first it smelled okay. Then, he started to smell… Smoke?

“Ah-- Papa!” came a voice from the kitchen.

Jolting awake, he ran towards the smoke and immediately tried to put out the small fire. Once it was out, he opened the back door and he sighed. Mismatched eyes looked towards his daughter. “Sakura… what happened?”

“Sorry, Kakashi…” she muttered as she looked away, not even realizing she called him “Papa”.

It was a weird thing for them. Sakura had few memories of her real father, but those were somewhat getting harder to remember. And despite having known Kakashi basically her whole life, it felt… awkward to call him any rendition of “dad”. She will admit she did call him as such when she was younger. And even now, she’d slip on occasion.

Her gaze still hasn’t looked at Kakashi’s mismatched orbs.

Kakashi sighed softly then he scratched the back of his head. “Well… I suppose it can’t be helped. You weren’t hurt and we didn’t burn down the kitchen… again. What were you trying to do?”

“Make you breakfast. Since today’s, ya know, Father’s Day. I wanted to do something special for you.”

He almost couldn’t stop the little flinch of his brow raising. “Special for me?” Kakashi asked, voice quiet. He couldn’t remember the last time someone did something special for him. He sighed then walked over to the little pinkette. After a brief moment, he crouched down to be at her level and placed a hand on top of her head. Kakashi gave her an eye smile then stood up.

“Well… I didn’t realize it was Father’s Day. Sorry about that, Sakura. Mission after mission has kept me quite busy.”

Sakura huffed slightly. “And here I thought you leaving the ANBU would have given you more time with me. Boy did Sandaime-sama lie to you about that.” Her cheeks puffed out in an almost endearing way.

This caused Kakashi to laugh. Time to ruin the cuteness, just like any father would, right? “Sakura… you called me Papa earlier. Was it another slip?”

Seeing her face flush caused Kakashi to grin under his mask. “So?”

“It-It was totally a slip up, Kakashi! Don’t give me that grin! I can tell!” Sakura yelled back and crossed her arms as she glanced away, cheeks still puffed out.

“Aw Sakura… Don’t be mad at your poor father. My heart can’t take it. Look, let me get ready and we’ll go out for breakfast. How does that sound?”

With arms relaxed at her side finally, she turned her head slightly, lips pursed slightly. “Can we get anmitsu?”

Kakashi blinked a few times. “No. You’re not getting that for breakfast.”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying! Go get ready then!”

“I may be annoying, but I’m still your dad~” Kakashi replied as he left to get ready.

“Oh shush!” Sakura replied but couldn’t help but smile.

[raendown]

Pairing: KibaGaara Word count: 1619 Soulmate au: The one where you have a tattoo on your arm describing how you will meet each other

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI

Chapter 148: Kiba/Gaara

Mustering up his most dramatic and heart-wrenching whine, Kiba draped his upper body over the glass case displaying different flavors of muffins. At his feet Akamaru echoed the noise and turned in a pathetic little circle. Ino stared at him without changing her expression, whipped cream in hand but no mercy to be found in her eyes.

“No,” his friend denied him in a deadpan voice. Kiba whined again.

“Oh come on, please? I’ve gotta study for this test or I’m gonna flunk hard!”

“So? I don’t see why you care about school anyway.” Ino dropped her gaze pointedly to his arm before flouncing away to grab a shaker of chocolate sprinkles. One twist of whipped cream and two delicate shakes of sprinkles later and she had created a masterpiece.

Kiba snatched it up with a glare. “I don’t wanna work in the café forever,” he growled. “Just until I meet my soulmate. Then I–”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Then you’re going to be somebody!” Ino folded her hands under her chin and fluttered her eyelashes. A second later she dropped the sugary smile she had plastered on and returned to the same deadpan expression she’d been wearing since this conversation started. Kiba hoped she never found out just how scary he actually thought she looked like that. He would never hear the end of it.

“I am! So come on pleeeaaase? Please take my shift tomorrow! I will owe you so much!”

“Not a chance. I’ve got a date tomorrow and I am not cancelling. Maybe Choji will take pity on you?”

“Hmph. I hope you choke on Sakura’s tongue,” Kiba grumbled, snatching up his drink and stepping aside when he heard the bell over the door give a cheerful ring. When he came back from break he was so going to spill something on her and pretend it was an accident.

Without even bothering to check on who came in he bent down and scooped Akamaru off the floor. He was damn lucky the owner of their sleepy little café was so obsessed with dogs. Kakashi never minded if he brought Akamaru to work with him as long as the little guy didn’t cause any trouble with the customers. Holding his fluffy friend in one hand and a ridiculously sugary drink in the other, Kiba marched over to the most secluded seat available, stuffed his headphones in his ears, and pulled open the notes he’d made on his phone last week in class. Maybe if he read them over enough times at least half of it would stick in his brain and he wouldn’t fail the dumb test coming up.

Several customers came and went as he dutifully studied, some of them staying and others hurrying away with their precious caffeine the second it was ready. None of it registered on him. His ears were full of heavy metal and his head was full of the musculoskeletal system of an average housecat.

Being a veterinary assistant had better be worth it when he got there.

Akamaru yipped and licked at his ankle when Ino began to glare at the back of his head, the usual way he knew his break was up. With a heavy sigh he stood to slip his headphones back in his pocket and tie his work apron around his waist.

“Green tea frappuchino?” Ino was calling.

Patting his thigh to make sure Akamaru followed, he began to edge around the seats that had filled up while his head was buried in lecture notes.

“Green tea frappuchino!”

Kiba looked up in amusement at the sound of his coworker’s voice, not wanting to miss seeing the irritated face that would go along with her snippy tone. Most of the people working here were college age and constantly low on sleep but Ino was the most famous for her short temper. She was especially annoyed by people who couldn’t bother to wait for their order in the right place.

He was almost disappointed to have the show end early when she caught his eye and jerked her chin at a guy standing over by the fireplace, admiring the decorative pottery lined up on the mantle. Not much of him was visible other than bright red hair and an unseasonable sweater. The guy had to be half-mad at least to be wearing extra layers in this heat but Kiba wasn’t here to judge, he was here to serve people overly fancy drinks in the hopes of finally fulfilling the soul-words on his arm.

You will serve him at a café they said and so Kiba had dutifully gotten a job as a barista.

Not wanting Ino’s temper to turn on him before he earned it himself, Kiba hustled over to the counter, tossed his own empty cup in the bin, then scooped up the bright green drink and turned towards the fire place. The guy hadn’t moved much farther than the next piece of pottery.

“I think this is yours, man,” Kiba said from behind him. Akamaru skittered in front of the stranger and yipped a few times in greeting.

When he turned around Kiba very nearly dropped the plastic cup in his hand. It wasn’t just that he was gorgeous, smooth skin and sharp features – and a tattoo!? So cool – that rendered Kiba dumb and immobile. It was the instant connection as soon as they saw each other and the warmth on his arm which told him that he had done it. He’d found his soulmate after nearly six years of serving endless assholes their drinks.

“It’s you,” the guy breathed out in awe. His voice was low and raspy and so damn hot.

“Uh…do you want your drink?” Immediately he wanted to drop his face in to his hands. What a stupid thing to say! What idiotic first words! Kiba was half a second away from expiring due to sheer embarrassment when the guy denied him with a shake of his head.

“No, thank you. I don’t like green tea.”

“Then – wait, what? Why did you order something you don’t like?”

His answer was hidden under the guy’s sleeve, messy words scrawled in brown ink that read, He will greet you with green tea and a dog. Kiba couldn’t help it. He started to laugh.

“I guess that’s why you came in to a café called Pups’N’Cups, huh?”

“Yes. My name is Gaara.” His soulmate offered a bashful smile. “May I know yours?”

“Kiba. It’s really great to finally meet you, Gaara. Are you, by any chance, free this evening?” He couldn’t seem to quit staring at the vibrant red shade of Gaara’s hair or the cute little cacti dancing on the sleeves of his sweater.

Just as the other opened his mouth to answer Ino’s voice cut across him with a screech. “KIBA! Quit chatting up that poor sod and just give him the damn drink! Your break is over, loser!” He was spun around with his free fist shaking across the room at her with barely a thought.

“Can’t you see I’m meeting my soulmate over here?! Give a guy two seconds, damn!” Sticking out his tongue to drive his point home, he turned back to the conversation. “Sorry about that. She’s right though, I’m supposed to get back to work right now. Are you free later? Can I have your number? We should, like, go out some time.”

“Yes. I am free and I would very much like to get to know you. Kiba.” The little pause and the reverent way Gaara whispered his name was possibly the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

“Awesome. Great. Yeah, alright.”

Grinning stupidly, Kiba handed over his phone for Gaara to add himself in to the contacts list. Then he spent a few seconds just standing there taking in all the details he could. It was going to take some time before he got over the hair; he would have to remember to ask if it was natural. And he was definitely going to need the story behind that tattoo because it was the coolest thing ever and super hot. Kiba wondered if there were any other tattoos for him to find.

Waving goodbye and going back to work like normal was hard but at least he had something to look forward to at the end of his day now. They agreed to meet when his shift was finished and chat over a couple of whatever drinks Gaara actually enjoyed and then Kiba was slipping back behind the counter, practically glowing with happiness – to Ino’s obvious chagrin.

“So,” he drawled. “Any chance you’ll cover me for tomorrow now?”

“It’s still a no.”

“You are a heartless bitch, you know that?”

“Mhm.” Ino blew him a mocking kiss. “And you love me that way.”

He didn’t bother to deny it.

The rest of his day passed like molasses until finally he spent the last five minutes of shift loitering by the syrup fridge and staring at Gaara who had come back and was tentatively playing with Akamaru while he waited. Clearly they were meant to be.

When he sat down in the corner this time it was with two black coffees and the determination to memorize an entirely new kind of subject matter. He learned that Gaara lived most of his life in the desert and thought Konoha was cold even in the summer, that his tattoo was in memory of the hard times he’d seen in his younger years, that he had two siblings he’d reconnected with only just recently. All this and more he absorbed and when they parted ways they shared a kiss and he learned one more thing.

This was love.

[syao]

Neji Plays an Otome Game - Finale

Read Time: 7 mins | Random | Prompt: Competition

RECAP: With Rock Lee’s inspired intervention, Hyuuga Neji was moved by his flowing feelings of a man to play an otome game for his bedridden comrade, Tenten.

“What flowing feelings?” interjected Neji wanly. “And what is Gai doing here?”

Maito Gai emerged from out of nowhere, cracking up. “Ohohoho, count on Neji-kun to sense his beloved sensei’s chakra, even when he’s disguised as a narrator!”

Neji scowled. “I’d really prefer that you refrain from breaking the fourth wall.”

Gai pumped his fist. “You’re right. Why break just the fourth wall when I can do MUCH BETTER than that! The fifth, sixth, seventh, nay, EIGHTH wall awaits!”

Rock Lee’s eyes glistened with tears of pride. “Wohooo! Gai-sensei, so coooool!”

“Won’t you come in, Gai-sensei?” Tenten called from inside the room. “You’re all scaring the tenants.”

“Woooo!!!”

“And don’t break any of my walls on the way in, okay?”

“Woooo!!!”

“NEJI--”

“I’ve got this. Go back to bed.”

Unlikely Kindred Spirit

“Ah, so you’re playing Dokidoki Tutorial’s handheld release,” said Gai, nodding to himself solemnly as he watched Neji navigate through the dialogues. “It’s been many years since I’ve seen these...”

“YOU’VE PLAYED THIS?!” Neji and Tenten exclaimed in unison.

Gai grinned. “Don’t sound too impressed, disciples of mine! Kakashi and I have fought in many, many battles in the game’s original arcade release to test each other’s true strengths. It was a fierce competition to see who gets the Good Ending for all the boys first.”

KAKASHI-SENSEI PLAYED THIS, TOO?! Both faces darkened as they imagined the Copy Ninja calmly and impassively answering all the dokidoki decision points without missing a beat.

“No wonder he grew up to be such a remorseless, feared shinobi,” muttered Neji.

Life’s Philosophy

"So really, you can consult me about the choices and I’ll be happy to enlighten you, Neji.” Gai offered him a fatherly smile, as if reassuring him that of his reliability.

“Very well.” Neji pressed the Start button on the handheld and started to go play back the opening scenes.

Tenten’s forehead creased. “Neji, haven’t you read through those screens before? You can just press Skip to quickly move past those parts, you know.”

“I prefer not to,” he answered curtly. “In real life, we can’t skip out the parts of life we find tedious or those we don’t like. It’s what makes us stronger and more resilient, fallible human beings as we are.”

“Well-said, Neji-kun!” Lee and Gai applauded him enthusiastically.

Tenten’s eyes narrowed. You just didn’t know about the Skip option, did you?

How Women Do It

Tenten forced herself to sit up on the bed. “Well at least use the Load function!” She grabbed the device and demonstrated how to bring up the full menu. “Save the decision parts so it’ll be easier to go back to them in the future!” 

Lee and Neji both gaped at Tenten as she repeatedly tapped on Next to get past filled pages with various dates, game times, and chapters. Finally, she found a blank slot at page 35 to save.

“How long have you been playing this, Tenten?” asked Neji.

“I probably started a week ago.”

Lee held out his fingers to count. “15 slots per page, then multiply it by 34...”

Neji had long computed the answer in his mind, based on the strange look he was suddenly giving at her.

Gai rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “So that’s how women remember all of a man’s past mistakes in life. No wonder these can be easily brought up during arguments.”

“THAT’S SEXIST!!!”

It’s Perfectly Normal

Tenten puffed her cheeks in annoyance. “Look, it’s not just the choice screens you can save. It’s normal to save certain points of the game that you really enjoyed.”

Gai nodded along. “That’s true. There are certain conversations that are always fun to go back to, but they’re not selected to be part of the Clips Gallery.”

The kunoichi nodded gratefully to her sensei for his back-up. “Right! It’s perfectly normal! For example, I saved the moment from Hattori’s route when he finally understood that the female MC was more than just a childhood friend to him. You’ll see that on Page 16, Slot#3.”

Lee and Neji’s face darkened. That random yet accurate memory is definitely NOT normal!

Mission Completion Rate

Neji firmly pushed the coughing Tenten back to her bed. “Get some rest. You’re straining yourself out too much.” 

Lee nodded. “Yeah, Tenten! Leave this game to us.”

“B-But..”

The Hyuuga’s forehead creased. “Are you still holding a grudge against me for turning that guy into a Yandere? I told you, he had some issues right from the start. He had a double personality. He wasn’t a healthy choice for the MC at all. Also, I saw that the bad ending unlocked one picture for the CG gallery, improving your completion rate.”

Tenten sweatdropped. Count on Neji to find mission completion as the most attractive part of the game.

The Essence of Choices

Prince looks like he’s about to cry.

<< You hug him. >>

<< You stroke his head. >>

Neji glanced at Gai. “So what do you think? They’re basically the same thing.”

“HMP!” Their sensei wore a smug grin. “Listen, cherished student of mine. On the surface, skinship in otome games may all look the same. However,  the key to making the right choice in scenarios like this is to understand the context of your relationship. Try to recall your journey of love: did he previously share a rarely-spoken-of past memory of a precious loved one stroking his head as an expression of affection? Then that may be the right answer. Or maybe you two have known each other all your lives and have always treated him like a little brother. Stroking his head is what a big sister will do, so he’ll only feel disheartened if you choose to go with that option.” 

Gai capped it off by patting his student on the shoulder. “The bottom line is, an almost-correct answer means nothing to the game. It’s either you get the exact response and progress your relationship, or you don’t, and you get a smaller leeway for mistakes until the next bad ending cut-off.”

Neji hated to admit it, but he couldn’t help feeling impressed by the expert understanding the man had for the game. “You must have beat Kakashi during the challenge.”

The jounin raised a shaking fist in the air. “Almost! I was so close to beating him! But his choices were flawless and he beat all the endings before I did.” Gai looked torn between frustration and awe as he recalled that memory. “That Kakashi seems to have more experiences with different men than I do!”

Neji (and Tenten, who was trying to rest on her bed) both grimaced. THAT DIDN’T SOUND RIGHT!!!

Okay Kind of Guy

I am caught by surprise when I hear a soft voice speak from behind.

“Do not trust people so easily, Tenten.” He refuses to meet my gaze, but we are the only ones left in the empty classroom, so I’m sure he is talking to me. “What you see is not always what one is.”

“Finally, a sensible person in the game,” remarked Neji. “Who’s this silver-haired, blue-eyed fellow?”

“Oh, that’s Vincent. He’s the mysterious foreign exchange student from England,” explained Tenten. “Really smart but really quiet guy. He always watches the female MC from a distance and gives her advice. He’s cold to everyone else, though.”

“... sounds like an okay guy to me,” shrugged Neji.

"It sounds like someone I know, though,” murmured Lee, tapping on his chin.

What’s Wrong with Him?

“Does Vincent have a route?” Neji wanted to know.

Tenten thought for a moment. “Yeah, I think I saw a page for him in the CG Gallery. I just haven’t gotten around to playing Vincent’s route.”

He gave her an incredulous look. “So you’ve opted to play all the other men before him? What’s wrong with Vincent?”

Tenten sweatdropped. Neji... really does have a soft spot for Vincent, huh?

Down, Boy, Down!

Neji was still inconsolably miffed by what he perceived as a snub of his newfound bias, so Tenten felt compelled to say something.

“I wanted to play Vincent last because I heard his route has the most number of story spoilers.”

“...”

He’s still mad. Tenten sighed, and then added, “I also want to save the best route for last.”

“...really?” He opened one eye and looked at her skeptically.

But Lee and Gai were seeing something else. Neji’s like a puppy wagging his tail!

The Girl Who Feels Loved

“Well, we’ve made enough ruckus for one day.” Lee gave the bedridden patient a snappy farewell salute. “Feel better, Tenten!”

“We’ll check in from time to time to make sure you’ve taken your meds and are well-fed,” promised Gai as he left fruits and bottled water within her reach.

“I left three choice screens on Slots 11, 12, and 13 in case I made a mistake on Prince’ route,” said Neji. “It’s really difficult to seduce a sociopath bastard.”

She stifled a laugh. For all their quirks, her team really loves her, and she loves them back just as much.

"Thank you, everyone. I had a great time today.” She beamed fondly at them.

Otome guys may be cute and all, but nothing beats my 3D boys.

That Word Again 

“Didn't you have fun, Neji?” asked Lee as the trio walked home leisurely.

“Fun. Heh.” Neji rolled his eyes. “Playing to please fictional men so they’ll date the female MC is hardly fun. A relationship should be the product of two people working together to keep it stable and strong, not a one-sided effort to fit somebody’s preferences and expectations.”

Gai looked impressed. “For a tsundere, you seem to express the ways of love so clearly.”

Neji scowled. “There’s that word again! Why do you keep calling me that?!”

Lee and Gai both wore a stupid expression on their faces as if they were doing their damn best not to burst out laughing.

“F-Fine! Just call me whatever you want! It’s not like I particularly care.” He crossed his arms with a scowl.

Neji’s tsundere-ness is a dating sim dream! Gai imagined hordes of male players exploding into massive nosebleeds if they overhear this conversation. We must keep this dere side of him a secret... or he’ll pose a threat to the future of Konoha youth! 

The Last Word

“But all that aside, I really appreciate that you decided to meet Tenten’s interests halfway,” said Lee smilingly. “You’re typically not the kind of person who’d be pushed into doing something he didn’t like.”

Neji shrugged. “If I didn’t do that, Tenten would have insisted on playing all day. Otherwise, I just want to move on from this day and forget those sissy-looking, psychologically-problematic jerks.”

“Now. now, Neji. it”s not so bad,” chuckled Lee. “Besides, it’s not as if it’s the furthest you would go for her.”

The Hyuuga glared pointedly at him, but had no words to rebut until they parted ways.

“Was I too upfront with him, Gai-sensei?” asked Rock Lee when it was just the two of them walking back.

In response, Gai grinned. “A bit. I have a feeling that someone’s going to do a lot of thinking tonight about circumstances.”

Indeed, that night, Neji could hardly feel the beckoning of slumber. He was busy writing down in-depth character profiles for each otome male route, his famed observational skills polished by Gai’s game insights meticulously detailing the nuances of possible choice screens that would come up as the game progressed.

Neji sighed. Maybe Lee was right-- there wasn’t a lot he wouldn’t do for the sake of Tenten’s smile. 

But it’s not like he could help it. Just like the female MC in the game, pleasing someone that matters to him did feel... a little nice.

THE END

[sagemoderocklee]

Opinions on some ships! (I don't remember if you've already talked about some so this is just for fun. They're mostly HP) You can take them separately or together Kakashi/Iruka (kakashi auto-ed to kakagai for me so wow 😂) Draco/Hermione Fred/Hermione (apparently Rowling liked this one and I LOVE it) Victor Krum/Hermione Harry/Hermione Harry/Ron Any other HP ships you like? You don't have to have to ship them, but do you like them? Dislike? Etc ❤️

Oh boy! Okay. Well to start, any negative things I say that show up in the tags for said ships--I didn’t mean to put it there, but like tbh I can’t exactly help that tumblr decided it would be a good idea to make it so that even the mention of something WILL show up in said tags, but there ya go. 

So, now that’s outta the way... 

KakaIr* is literally awful and I cannot stand it. Like originally the only interaction they had was one hot second of Iruka being angry that Kakashi was gonna sign up team seven for the Chuunin Exams when they were so young, but lol everyone wants to ship it cause “Iruka can be Naruto’s mom”--despite NOT being a woman or ever implying that he’d want to be a maternal figure--and then of course Kakashi would be Naruto’s dad even though he’s entirely not equipped to be a parent--like he’s not even rlly equipped to be a goddamn sensei. like ultimately the appeal of KakaIru was some gross yaoi bullshit and it reinforced some gender bullshit and like the usual homophobic shit that you see in yaoi... not to mention i always saw ppl shitting on KakaGai because Gai-sensei was “ugly” or whatever god forbid Kakashi be with someone who isn’t conventionally attractive... Ultimately, I never shipped it despite the friends who introduced me to Naruo insisting that it was one of the three things I needed to ship. It never appealed to me and it never will. 

As for the Harry Potter ships. 

I cannot stand the idea of Draco and Hermione together. I just... really can’t. For one: Ron and Hermione were legit meant to be, and JKR can suck it with her fuckin’ BS “ron and hermione would have had problems” as if any relationship is perfect, as if THAT was the worst thing she made canon when she made fucking Harry/G*nny canon and then later George/Angelina--like Fred took her to the fucking Yule Ball, that’s mad fucked up okay. Honestly. Any Hermione ship that isn’t Ron is just... not good to me, however, I don’t completely hate Hermione and Luna in theory. Like as a concept I do like it, but ultimately I don’t think they’d work out quite so well. And Draco is just.... gay. He’s very gay. I don’t care what canon tells you. He’s gay. Gay. Gay. Gaygaygaygaygay. Anytime people ship Harry with Hermione (JK included smh) I literally wanna scream cause they are fucking family. They never once had an ounce of romantic chemistry. And it was so fucking refreshing. And Harry/Ron is... nooooooo. Ron is straight. I’m sorry, but he is. Maybe he like had a brief moment one time thinking about another guy (NOT Harry cause he’s like his brother), but honestly Ron’s just.... so straight. And again, he and Hermione are just right for each other. 

Honestly, anything JKR says is just... so much wasted breath to me these days. I can sorta see the appeal of Fred and Hermione, but again it’s really not my bag. And I think it’s just...weird given he’s Ron’s brother. Viktor and Hermione was.... I dunno. Like she was fourteen and he was eighteen so it just... wigs me out. Like that’s just.... too much of a difference when you’re that young. 

As far as any other ships I do like in Harry Potter, Luna/Ginny is definitely fantastic; Neville/Ginny too. Very good. Obviously Dean/Seamus is legit and should have been fucking canon. I do really like Bill and Fleur, speaking of other canon ships. and of course WolfStar, Remus and Sirius really should have been canon and it was such a slap in the face to have Remus end up with Tonks. Hagrid and Madame Maxim is also super cute to me. Like he’s such a good person, he deserves to find love if that’s something he wants. 

I can’t think of any other ships that I have... and obviously my focus is mostly H/D with a side of Harry/Luna and Ron/Hermione.