#k-shawols deserve better

[tulsa24]

god sm sucks 🙃

[wonuwrites]

Omg getting tagged by one of my fave blogs? The @horangslay ??? Precious. Thanks for the tag 😭🩵

Nationality: American #YeehawBrother

Birth Month: December ❄️☃️♐️

Favorite Movies/Series: So… for movies i gotta say Taylor Swift Eras Tour is basically my Miss Rachel… but also I am such an older disney girl. Homeward Bound is one of my comfort movies and you can’t beat Sleeping Beauty (Aurora is best princess I will die on this hill.) other than that Nightmare Before Christmas and Marvel movies have my heart. For TV series I have to give it to Criminal Minds. I would do anything for Penelope Garcia and Dr. Spencer Reid. (I wrote so much can you tell I’m a writer or a yapper?)

Current Fave Songs: I’ll share my top 3 most listened to atm and my top 3 fave songs without hesitation lmao.

Most listened to:

1. Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan

Chappell has become my personality and this song is my go to shower shout song.

2. us by Gracie Abrams ft. Taylor Swift

I’m obsessed with this song so freaking much. I have not related to a song this bad in such a long time. 😭😭

3. Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter

I’m in my western pop girl era atm. Espresso and “Spell” by Seventeen are my contenders for my #1 song of the year atm.

Top 3 w/o hesitation:

1. Your Night by Sik-K

Normally I gatekeep my man but this song and him deserves to be heard by everyone. This song is such a vibe.

2. A Place In This World by Taylor Swift

Ofc i had to add Taylor but y’all don’t understand this song has been in my favorites since 2008. It’s simple but it’s perfect. No other Taylor song has topped it since it was released (coney island and maroon were pretty damn close though.)

3. SoSo by Winner

I know I’m practically a Seventeen stan account on Tumblr but Winner will always be my boys and this song will always be one of my all time favorite kpop title tracks. This song deserved to be as popular as “Really Really” 🥲 hurts me how much they are underrated on an international scale.

Fandoms: i have a yt video that explains it better with my kpop male groups but basically kpop fandom in general. Specifics- Inner Circle, Shawol, Atiny, Carat, igot7, moomoo, blackjack, and VIP. Im also in the Dead By Daylight fanbase (video game) and Criminal Minds fanbase.

Favorite Idols: Mino + Hwasa are my ults. Wonwoo, T.O.P, B.I, Solar, Key- basically all of SHINee tbh, Dami, Dokyeom, S.Coups, Freaking Kai, JAY B, and so many more.

Tysm for tagging. I love yapping. I tag @lavnderwonu @animeniacss @mingyuscoffee @cheolkat (sorry if you don’t wanna be tagged i just thought of yall) + anyone who wants to do this.

Also if you wanna be moots hmu 🥹🫶

　　❀࿐　　⁺　.　　get 2 know your fav blogs!

nationality:　chindo + lao/thai

birth month:　january

fav movie/series:　my demon 🥰

current fav song:　siren by ateez

fandoms:　atiny, carat, briize, zerose, dive, onedoor, moa, nctzen, engene, fearnot, the b, ennve, zenith, once, army

fav idol:　xu minghao

my tags:

@yuzchaes @gigittamic @aericita @iluvrei @wonjuii

@y-unrei @i-kyujin @y-vna @jicito @jaewsss

@chuwerii @bambicito @hyelita @chaeneuu @tripleseu

@jimzittos @rkkuri @seulzitos @i-mmaculatus @im4yeons

@daddldee @wiotas @m00nbap @kisrui @7hyein

[naegashutyoassup]

“2 Baddies” may not be the best song they’ve ever made, but the only thing I loved was the fact that I was able to feel happier without having to force it upon myself just to listen to it.

(CW // slight vent and health update)

Although the demons are still in my head, it’s coming up less frequent than usual. I’m proud that I’m able to now see K-pop as less of a chore, but this fight is far from over. Mentally, I’m alright now, but their message still haunts me at night as I would constantly think to myself if I deserve the title “Shawol” or not. I’m still kinda into SHINee, but it’s more in the writing side of things. I don’t really listen to them very much, but I could see myself still drawing Jonghyun and practicing self esteem exercises with myself. I have a friend who is doing psychology in college in hopes of being a therapist or a psychologist for young people and old. He wanted to practice with me so he could have a better understanding on how emotions work and things that he could do to help me. He has been helping going through the tough strings of my mental health regarding Jonghyun’s (you know what) alongside with the cyber bullying that took place at about in between Early-Mid 2020 (March-August) and August 2022. He taught me how to remind myself every single day that whenever I get into a mindset that makes me feel like I cannot do anything but end my life, I should consider thinking about what Jonghyun would say if he was standing right in front of me. Would remind me that he may had possibly went through something similar to me in terms of how I’m feeling mentally unlike our own experiences.

“He wouldn’t want you to go the same route, do you think?” We had been mutuals for few months, but gotten together ever since this situation turned for the worse mentally. He has been studying me and finding ways to better help me in times like this. He was even the one to suggest post goals or anything K-pop related I did or seen — no matter how big or small it is, I shall show my authenticity to you guys to show how much I’ve changed and recovered well.

[imnameim]

Do you not really like taemin anymore??

I really don't even know why I'm answering this😭 I never once said I don't like taemin anymore. I still am a big fan of taemin and SHINee etc. But having a SHINee blog and/or taemin blog just wasn't for me considering the shitty ass asks I was getting. The people who overstep boundaries and continually asked me about jonghyuns passing etc. The people who would tell me to kill myself time and time again. Then everytime I found myself stating that SHINee and jonghyun are much more than the situation that we all witnessed, a bunch of people would say I was crazy and it's not my place to speak on etc. People time and time again tell me I blown things out of proportion. So I took a step back for the sake of my mental health. As someone who has been a shawol since debut it's so mentally straining to see a group that brought me so much joy be dampened by people who only bring up negatives. Also, I have to say I started off as a monsta x blog so it's not surprising. Also, yes I love shinee and yes they've helped me so much in life. K-pop doesn't consume me whole so just because I don't talk about a group doesn't mean I don't like them or the members anymore. But in life monsta x has helped me on so many levels I cannot begin to explain my gratitude towards them. 🥺❤️ And like I hope this doesn't come off rude but I keep getting asks like this and honestly it's exhausting. SHINee is such a special and unique group but people who continue to look at the negatives and as someone who tried so hard to continue to promote SHINee in a positive light as i got constant hate etc for saying that these men deserve better people as fans including myself is an understatement.

[norepangproject]

#1 Jonghyun and the art of storytelling

I waited a very long time before starting The Norepang Project. The main reason for my delay was that I wanted to begin writing about the perfect topic. Unfortunately, I simply couldn't figure out such a theme could be. And then, suddenly, came Spring. April is a special time of the year for me and thousands of other K-Pop stans in the world. This is the moment when we can cheerfully remember and honor one of the most talented and creative artists this industry ever had. This month is not about feeling blue or melancholic, it is about caring and cherishing his work, the other Shinee members, our fellow Shawols and our own love for him.

So, even though the 8th of April has come and gone, I decided to begin the TNP by digging in every single Jonghyun solo album. I am not talking about discussing his title tracks or B-Sides. What I intend to do is to read every single one of them as a book. Better, as a story. A story, Jonghyun, the poet, is telling us.

Our journey begins with Base*. Like most of Jjong's tales, this is one about love. But it may just be a little more poetic and less obvious than it appears at first sight. A man meets a woman, and he is rather taken aback by how attracted by her he is. Moreover, the temptation she presents is so strong that, even though she doesn't appear to correspond to his feelings, at least not on a deep emotional level, he can't help himself but pursue her. Or yet, as he seems to believe at the time, to fall into her trap. Truthfully, part of the reason why he likes her so much is that their feelings for each are unbalanced. He knows it. He enjoys it. He isn't blaming or shaming her for it, unlike his friends.

"They tell me not to get close to you, even your attractive eyes

“See, she targeted him again”

They say I’ll get hurt if I give her all my heart

The funny thing is, the pathetic thing is

Even when you’re being cunning

You’re so attractive, it’s so fatal"

- Crazy (Guilty Pleasure)

Because his desire is too big to contain, he runs after her. During this chase, his admiration for her grows deeper and deeper.

You give me greater

feelings than awe (feel so good)

You make me sing as if I’m praying

Singing hallelujah,

you got me singing hallelujah

The day I saw you for the first time

I probably used up all the luck in my life

But it’s worth it. You’re amazing, what to do with you?

-Hallelujah

And their time together is bright and sweet. It's a darling night under the moonlight. These are moments he keeps coming back to during the day, they are the source of his newfound joy.

Let’s get up now, why is it so sad?

We’ve been saying the same things for the past 30 minutes

I can’t hold your hand,

let go of your hand or hug you

So I’m only looking at your pretty eyes,

nose and red cheeks and lips

- Beautiful Tonight

But something is strange though. It is as if, under the stars' gaze, he is finally able to unravel her true self. A person she constantly tries to hide from the outside world with a cold mask. But this truer self is even brighter, is neon. She opens up a whole new set of colors for him to paint his life with.

"Don’t try to hide, I’m scared of your cold eyes

I saw the light that is you, who can’t be caught

Don’t let go of my hand

When morning comes,

when I meet someone, I feel it

The color of the world without you is boring

Even without lights, you shine even brighter

Even without lights, you shine brighter than anyone else

Show me today, show me your real face

She is a NEON, shine your light"

- Neon

However, simultaneously, he begins to be burdened by his circumstances. It's a paradoxical sensation: he enjoys their push-and-pull dynamic, the "danger" inherent to it, he can't even imagine being without her... but he seems frustrated.

"I knew I would get hurt if I touched you but I denied it

And I squeeze you even tighter

Both sides of the blade dig into me

I try to cut you out but I can take this much

I’m already disinfecting my weakened min with alcohol

Because the sin is so much sweeter than its consequences

It was already too late to stop

I’m falling deeper"

- Crazy (Guilty Pleasure)

And is due to this emotional unease felt by the narrator, that we reach the climax of the tale. These lovers to-be have a dialog. A dissonant duet, so intimate that it resonates like whispers in our ears. Love Belt is about two people opening up about their fears concerning love and a relationship. On one hand, they are scared together: about the external judgment, about the intensity and speed of these feelings. They wish to hold tight and protect one another. On the other hand, each one of them has their own concerns. This why here we are able to listen to two different voices. He is desperate and anxious: the yearning to fulfill his desires, the terrible sensation that she might slip through his fingers. She is fearful and insecure: about diving into the unknown (the dark night, the deep sea...), about the intensity of his sentiments.

"When you’re feeling frustrated

And want to get away

When you’re feeling nervous for no reason

We know, since we were born,

I feel you, propose a toast (cheers)

You don’t say it but I feel it, just like twins

I pretend to not care but I’m scared,

Hold me tight when I tremble

Because of my selfishness, I always hurt you but

Forgive me, I’m sorry"

- Love Belt

For me, the most beautiful aspect of this song is that, even though it's supposedly a dialog of lovers in despair, terribly needing each other's protection, the melody is soothing and intimate. At first sight, however, what might appears contradictory is natural: they need to open up and talk about their differing perspectives, but they are already in love. Furthermore, is if he already sensed the source of her insecurities. Jonghyun, through his lyrics, indicates that she is hiding her true self from the world, afraid of being exposed, almost as if she believes to be undeserving of affection. The narrator tries to sue her concerns.

I lack nothing when I have you by my side

I can do everything,

I can shine on my own

Don’t leave me alone in the dark night

Don’t go anywhere by yourself,

you know (You know what I’m saying)

Even without lights, you shine brightly

Even without lights, you dazzlingly shine

Show me today, show me your real face

(show me the real you)

She is a NEON, shine your light

- Neon

Jonghyun tries to soothe ours: You deserve love too. You have to love yourself.

Somehow the first track of the album, Deja-boo already outlines this whole plot. There is one-side love, growing affection, deep desire, and a promise of protection.

"Stay, Oh It’s a deja vu

Oh deja vu, I saw you before, yeah you saw me right?

I’m not like the others

I won’t make you cry and leave like him"

- Déjà Boo

I like to believe, that since Deja-boo is so upbeat and sensual and, like Fortune Cookie is about intertwining destinies, they lived happily ever after.

**** SO I HAVE TALKED ABOUT MONODRAMA BUT THE TEXT IS TOO LONG. PROMISE TO DO SO SOON.

Oh, please check out THE NOREPANG PROJECT Twitter, Instagram and Cronogram 

[f-l-writes]

December 18th, 2017

A day where almost the entire K-Pop community had come to recognize the loss of a great soul. The loss of someone taken too soon. Kim Jong Hyun had, unfortunately, been battling with depression for God knows how long and eventually succumbed to his demons.

Depression isn’t an easy thing to deal with for a regular person and I’m sure it’s even harder for idols who always have to put on a happy mask for us, to make us think they’re okay.

Kim Jong Hyun’s loss was heartbreaking then and it continues to be even a year later. His life was cut short and it affected so many people. From his family to his friends to his fans and even people in the community who only heard of him in passing. December 18th, 2017 was a day where there was complete mourning for the community. 

I would hope that idols with mental health issues find help somewhere. Any help is better than none and maybe it can be the help that will prevent something like this happening again. Depression is so much more than just be sad for a few days and then being over it. It goes so much deeper than that and, if you haven’t experienced it firsthand, and I hope you never do, it’s hard to explain. 

While mourning may be over, at least let this be a day to honor his memory and all he’s contributed to the community over the years before his death. He deserves at least that much. He was a wonderful friend, artist, son, and person. He really deserves to be remember for his best moments.

Also, please stream Shinin' in remembrance of Jong Hyun. Most SHAWOL's would prefer that over the cancellation of your selca days. If you can, it would also be appreciated if you could buy a copy of Poet|Artist as money goes to a charity.

[lazilyglorioustraveler]

So... It seems like as SHINee’s 10th anniversary is almost upon us... The fandom is a disaster and Twitter is a war-zone.

Now I’ve read a lot of opinions and blogs coming from a lots of fans. And everyone has their own opinions, which I respect.

To be honest, I read a blog post from a Shawol and I agree with everything that she said there. She wrote about how she felt about no one (as in Korean media / SM) talking about Jonghyun or celebrating his life and hard work for this 10th anniversary. She also expressed how she wouldn’t be able to stay in the fandom if Jonghyun’s legacy won’t be celebrated this anniversary.

Although, I understand her sentiments; however, I decided to stay with the boys since the day I first met them 7 years ago, so I will never be leaving. Leaving is the person’s choice, and I respect that.

To be honest, I don’t know where I stand in this place where Shawols are actually standing against each other. In a way, we’re all breaking apart and that hurts. But I understand where all this is coming from.

I’ve lost my faith in SM completely. Jonghyun deserved better. 10 years... He gave more than 10 years of his life (if you count pre-debut years as well) to bring joy to others. As their agency, SM has profited from SHINee for 10 years. After everything that Jonghyun gave to SM for 10 fucking years, having a permanent memorial where the life he lived and the music he made could be celebrated was the least they could do in return. But there is no place for Jonghyun in the very establishment that he contributed to or a place where Shawols can find his overwhelming, larger than life, presence physically and find some closure or grieve openly between like-minded people.

In a way, it’s like no one wants to talk about him. And when I say no one, I mean the entire K-Media. I search everyday for something... anything related to Jonghyun written by someone or posted by someone. However, when mentioning SHINee and their 10th anniversary; it is absolutely not right for one to just exclude Jonghyun in the article or not mention him at all, just because he isn’t alive anymore. Yes, no one is obliged to talk about him all day, every day. And I understand that. But it’s like no one wants to address the magnitude of the loss the world has suffered from the death of a beautiful and talented human being because of a monster called ‘depression’.

I read people telling Shawols to keep Jonghyun alive in their hearts. But what about physically? Does he not deserve being remembered physically as well? That boy spent more than half his life pursuing music, bringing happiness to others, comforting those in pain, and becoming the voice that empowered the voices of those who were weak and afraid. Yet, there’s nothing that SM has done so far to show that they actually wish to celebrate his life. His legacy.

I believe that there’s only so much that the SHINee members can do or say that will keep Jonghyun alive in their music and in the years to come. But K-Media, in all aspects, is just about saving faces. If fans mourns too much, you need to get over it. If fans continuously pay tribute to him or in their own small ways try to keep his presence alive among us physically, you need to stop overdoing it and making everything about him.

Then what else are we supposed to do? How else are we supposed to keep Jonghyun’s memories alive when no one talks about him openly?

The ads on his birthday around Japan and Korea weren’t something SM did. It’s what Shawols did. SM didn’t even put a simple “Jjong Day” pic on Insta for his birthday. The least they could do is pay respect to and remember the person that they had the good fortune of being close to. Yet, they didn’t even do that. Every single tribute to Jonghyun or news related to Jonghyun was either from us fans, the members or his close friends.

SHINee asked us to keep Jonghyun alive in our hearts. But if his last concert - the one that he gave his best to complete and showed his fans a wonderful stage despite being utterly broken on the inside - has still not been released; then where are we supposed to celebrate his life? What about the Goblin Night episode where he guested which was never aired? Why can’t we see the show where he showed his smile and laughed and gave his best at the recording for one last time? What about that?

Yes, I look forward to the comeback. Yes, I will support the boys into the future as long as I am alive. And yes, I’m happy that the members are trying to live normally again. And I also know that the members will in their own ways pay tribute to Jjongie each day, every day in their own little ways. But during this comeback - when it marks 10 years of SHINee’s existence - if there are no traces of Jonghyun or no tributes to him or no mentions of Jonghyun in the media because of the K-Media or SM; I’ll be utterly devastated.

I WANT Jonghyun’s name in the fan chants. I WANT articles of him on media platforms. I WANT people to speak about Jonghyun just as much as they speak about any other member during the comeback and 10th anniversary because Jonghyun is a part of SHINee. Always has been, Forever will be.

SHINee is Five. They have been. They will forever be.

We’re celebrating 10 years of SHINee. 10 years of Onew. 10 years of Jonghyun. 10 years of Key. 10 years of Minho. 10 years of Taemin.

SHINee wouldn’t be SHINee if even one of them weren’t a part of it. And ll 5 of them deserve to be celebrated. Especially Jonghyun, because while the others will continue to make a legacy for themselves. The only ones who can keep Jonghyun’s legacy alive are Us, Shawols.

Now, we are his voice. We are his storytellers. We are what keeps his existence going. We are the ones who will keep his name shining.

So don’t tell us to keep quiet.

I am a MVP. I am a Blinger. I am a Locket. I am a Flamer. I am a Taemint. I am a Shawol.

And all Shawols have the right to talk about our boys. If you’re a true Shawol, then stop fighting each other. Yes, there’s no greater or lesser pain. Every single one of us is affected by Jonghyun’s passing. And if the deciding factor of being a MVP, or Blinger, or Locket, or Flamer, or Taemint is by bias for you guys; then I am not a Blinger. But if you put it that way, then Blingers will have lost their place of existence if people stop celebrating Jonghyun’s life and talking about him. So please do not hurt one another’s sentiments.

We used to be a peaceful and loving fandom. So peaceful and loving that Jonghyun never hesitated to get closer to us fans, let fans touch him or walk around the venue surrounded by them. We used to be loving. And now what has happened to us? Is this what we want to show to Jonghyun while he’s watching us from up there? Please don’t hurt the sentiments of those Shawols who are still mourning. It’s a sincere request.

This 10th anniversary let’s celebrate all 5 of the SHINee members lives with a loud voice.

I hope everyone out there can find peace and happiness. It’s okay if you’re in pain or you’re sad or you’re still mourning. Even I am. And it’s also fine if there are some of you who are moving on. It’s fine to feel whatever you are feeling. It’s okay. no one is going to judge you or blame you for it.

Regardless of whatever you are feeling or whoever you are, even though I may not personally know you, please know that I’ve got your back.

[smtown-tourist]

In Memory of Jonghyun:

“Instead of trying hard to accept somebody, we should acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses.”  - Jonghyun

Today, December 18th, 2017, is a sad day in K-pop history. One of the most talented, beautiful souls to have ever walked this planet has left us. It is a day that will not be forgotten easily and will leave everyone - myself, his family, the SHINee members, and all the Blingers, Shawols, and K-pop fans alike - with a permanent crack in our hearts. Kim, Jonghyun, the main vocalist of SHINee, was one of the sweetest and most kindhearted people that we have been gifted to experience. He was fun loving and of course the most iconic person who represented all of us out their who are easily moved to tears. He lived life to the fullest and strived to bring his dream of working in the music industry to a reality. With the help of SM and his fellow members, he was able to touch the hearts of many and inspire others to chase their dreams and pursue what made them great. Because of that, his passing will be felt as a global heartbreak and mourning.

“There is no such thing as a useless emotion. When I have kids, I’m going to raise them knowing the luxury of emotions.” - Jonghyun

I speak for myself when I saw that I have always looked up to Jonghyun as a personal role model. In light of his sudden death, it only motivates me more to become a better person and hope to only dream of living up to the great human being he was. This man loved everyone, even those who hated him, and wanted for the world to live in peace and harmony. He was a pacifist who didn’t see the point in violence and dedicated himself to making the world a better place for all kinds of people, accepting them into his arms and showing them the love and care they deserve. I won’t let his life be forgotten and will keep his memory alive by advocating for suicide, depression, and, in general, mental health awareness.

“As an entertainer, I feel at a loss towards a world that does not accept differences” - Jonghyun

We won’t ever know completely why he decided to take his life on this day, what finally drove him to the breaking point, but we cannot let his sacrifice be made in vain. He has showed us what can happen when you simply brush aside mental health problems and tell others to “just get over it.” If you see someone struggling with depression, do not avoid it and expect them to fix it all alone. They need support and love and acceptance and it is up to everyone to show those people that they matter.

“I am emotional to begin with and I have no intention to hide it. There’s a saying, ‘A man only cries three times in his life.’ I was told that when I was little, and I would question back, ‘Why can’t men cry? Aren’t men people too?’“ - Jonghyun

For those struggling with depression and other mental heath issues that provoke suicidal thoughts, don’t believe that you are worthless and that no one cares about you, that the world will go on like nothing even happened if you were to disappear. Jonghyun has showed us that that is not the case and he should live on as an example to those of you struggling with those pesky thoughts that, even if you never met them or have only encountered them a few times, you have impacted someone’s life more than you may ever realize. Remember that and remember him as you move on in life. Jonghyun’s sacrifice will bring change to this world. Do not be another soul who prevents this change from happening. Don’t let yourselves become another statistic. Help end this rising epidemic of suicide amongst young adults and teens, and help end the belief that mental health is not as important as physical health.

“Life is full of chances. Take it lightly.” - Jonghyun

We don’t know what provoked Jonghyun to take his life. It could have been a gradual build of many aspects but in the end, we, the K-pop fanbase, can call for justice. K-pop idols have constantly be mistreated by their companies. We must advocate for this to change and for companies to start caring more for the idols they employ. We must also be careful of the things we say to these idols. Hate is toxic and we do not know what these people are going through. We must support and love them for we never know if they are suffering like our beloved Jonghyun was.

“Is this the reality you want?” - Jonghyun

In regards to SHINee, I believe we should show our support to the members. We must not put blame on them for not knowing or for not preventing what has happened. We must remember that those suffering from depression do not always tell others, even those they are very close to like the SHINee members were to each other. If they decide to not continue as a group we must respect those wishes because it might not be a decision that was made light heartedly. SHINee will always be 5 no matter what, even if they continue as 4.

“For me particularly, when I listen to or make music of the team SHINee, I think that ultimately SHINee is me and I am SHINee.” - Jonghyun

Shawols, don’t let Jonghyun’s passing keep you down forever but do not bottle it in either. Our Jonghyun was never one to hide his tears and neither should we. If it hurts, let it out, but afterwards we must pick ourselves back up again. He would not want us mourning him forever. We must move on and cherish the gifts that he as gifted us. He did not die for us to die with him. We must live on for him and enjoy life and music like he did.

We must also not let his passing prohibit us from expressing our love for him. Whether that is making humorously relatable posts on tumblr or writing fanfiction. We must remember that it is not a sign of disrespect and is rather a method of showing love and care for someone. I myself will continue to ship JongKey because it makes me happy seeing them together. By doing so I do not assume that they were a real couple or that either men are/were gay. It simply brings me happiness to see them together and to know that, romantically or platonically, they loved each other.

“Because Key is my soulmate.” - Jonghyun

Jonghyun, we all will miss you. Your passion for and talent when it came to music was like no other. You will go down in K-pop history as one of the best vocalists to have ever graced this Earth. You are a legend. Everything about you will be remembered and cherished. Know that you were always the number one Appa when it came to Yoogeun and that up in the heavens, you are finally taller than Minho. SHINee’s Bling Bling Jonghyun, watch over us while you’re up there and know that even when up amongst the stars where you are shining so bright, you always shined brighter when you were on stage. Rest in peace our sweet little puppy and dinosaur Oppa. You deserve it.

“Even though we cannot communicate using the same language, we use music instead” - Jonghyun

[batpingsoo]

Thank you for everything, Jonghyun

So, I've become a Shawol since I was in my first grade of junior high school. My school was in the city center and I came from a small village outside of the town. I met different kind of new friends I've never found before in elementary school. Through this little girl I know about SHINee. She soon became my bestfriend because of our same interests. Our everyday life was almost filled by SHINee and other K-pop groups trending at that time. But my heart fall for SHINee the most. I listened to their songs, watched their mvs, watched their tv shows, read their interviews, bought books about them, read their fanfictions, asked their songs lyrics to my bestfriend via bluetooth (that time I hardly had internet connection to access anything about SHINee) and I did many other things related to SHINee. One thing I couldn't do until now is, I couldn't buy their albums lol (I'm poor and I need to save up for my school and college) (But I hope I can really save up for Jonghyun's new album if it's ever released, it will become Jonghyun's last memory for everyone :^) ). You can judge me for being a bad Shawol. I couldn't even buy their original album and I just listened the one other people uploaded on websites. I know it's illegal, I'm sorry. I know I'm a bad Shawol, I'm sorry.

But let me express my gratitude for SHINee, especially for Jonghyun. Thank you for accompanying me all this time with your beautiful voice. Thank you for keeping me smile while I was on my worst days with your laughter and funny act on tv shows. Thank you for being together as five, as SHINee. You guys have never disappointed me.

I feel like I grew together with SHINee. Their songs filled my best and worst days, so now, I feel like I have this kind of special bond with them. And when the news came, I couldn't hide my emotions. I don't want to believe it. I don't know that such thing could happen to someone so precious to me at the very unexpected time. I still can't believe it, someone as beautiful as Jonghyun, someone as kind as Jonghyun, someone who had always been good to others, died in the most tragic situation I could ever imagine.

I don't want to blame anyone for his death. Let it be his own choice. It was his own choice to rest, to get away from something hurting him so much, to end the pain he had been bearing for so long that he couldn't handle it anymore. Although it's hard for everyone he left behind, but I know it was what he thought the best for him. I will not angry for what he did. He had tried his best fighting with his pain and his closest people had tried so hard saving him.

To the most precious star who now has become the most beautiful angel in heaven, you have worked hard. You have done your best. You are loved. Your closest people will always cherish pretty memories they created together with you. And you will always be remembered by Shawol as a part of this amazing boygroup from South Korea and a soulful solo singer.

I know it's very hard for me to come out from this grief but little by little I'm trying to be back as usual. Through this, I learned few more things. As a human being who is still alive in this world, it's a must to treat every living creature in this world nicely. Especially to fellow human beings. We won't know what we did or said could become a weapon and hurt someone else feelings. Let's be careful with our attitude and our mouth. We don't want anybody else to feel what Jonghyun felt.

Let's change our society into a better world. Spread love to anyone as much as you can. All of you are loved. All of you deserve to speak up about your problems and deserve to be listened when you are speaking. If you ever think that you don't have anyone to talk to, I'm all ears guys. You can hit me up via message and talk to me. Maybe I'm not a professional helper to handle your problems, but you can share how you are feelings to me if that could comfort you bit.

Once again, thank you so much Kim Jonghyun for being a strong man and holding on for so long.

I love you, even though I never met you.

[pan0ramy]

I wanted to make a post addressing this, but... I don't even know where to start.

When I came home and read the headline, I thought it was some sort of sick joke that someone had come up with. But the more and more I read into it, the more I realised it wasn't fake. That all of this is actually real.

For those of you who don't listen to K-Pop, Kim Jonghyun - a member of SHINee - committed suicide this morning.

I cannot even begin to imagine what dedicated Shawols are going through right now, let alone the rest of the boys. Hell, I'm not a devoted SHINee fan, but they're so well-known in K-Pop that this will hit you hard whether you listen to them or not. I know it's certainly like that for me. This sort of situation can just come out of nowhere, and it's devastating when it happens.

Without a doubt, Jonghyun was an incredibly, incredibly talented individual who deserved all the success that he had. It's honestly heartbreaking to hear he was going through so much, but the fact that he hid it from everyone for so long really shows us how much of a fighter he was. Hopefully he's in a better place now.

Thank you so much for everything, Kim Jonghyun. May you rest in peace.

[stonehearttae]

I wanted to post my letter to Jong-Hyun here because I find it therapeutic. If you haven’t read his letter, or are feeling extra down, you should skip this.

Dear Kim Jong-Hyun,

Ever since I heard that you passed away, I’ve been crying. When I read your letter, I cried harder. I hate that you felt like a failure, I hate that you felt like no one wanted to see the real you, I hate that you asked for help and couldn’t receive the care that you needed, and I hate that we could see you were in pain, but did nothing to reach out to you. Jong-hyun, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had to suffer for so long, and I’m sorry you felt like you weren’t good enough. You worked hard, you lived well, and now you’re gone too soon. As I was reading your letter, I saw parts of myself in it. When I first found SHINee back in 2010, when I first found you, I saw a light at the end of a dark tunnel. I just wanted to die, I didn’t think my life was worth living. Your smile, your ability to always find something positive in the negative, the way you were unapologetically you, it gave me something to hold on to. Since then, you and SHINee have gotten me through a lot of dark times where I didn’t think I would make it. You were the light that pulled me from the black hole. You introduced me to K-Pop and Korean culture, and without you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t even be here. I knew you struggled too, and maybe that’s why I identified with you so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the light for you that you were for me. It’s only just hit me that you’re really gone. I didn’t think I could survive this either. But, then I kept seeing your face, and hearing your voice. You would want me to live. You would want me to go on and be the light for someone else. So, I will. I will support the other Shawols, I will support Kibum, Jinki, Minho, and Taemin, and I will pray for your loved ones so that they can come to terms with your death. Ever since you walked into my life, Jong-Hyun, you’ve made everything so much better. Your passion for music inspired me to keep singing and play instruments again, your smile lit up the whole room and made me feel like you were looking only at me, you, as a person, have accomplished so much in your career that I am proud of. You are a beautiful soul that heals everyone you touch, and I think that’s why I am able to pick myself up after this and keep fighting. For Shawols. For SHINee. For you. I love you, Kim Jong-Hyun, and I always will. I hope you’re finally at peace, and I will remember you with a smile on your face because you deserve to be happy more than anything in this world. My heart hurts, but I will be okay because of you. I don’t want to tell you goodbye either. Instead, I’ll say, “see you later,” because I know that we will meet again someday. Please rest in peace, Jong-Hyun.

[lost-in-many-universes]

Until now i was in too much of a shock to even think about saying anything. I still am. I still can’t believe this happened. I didn’t even have the courage to listen to his voice yet.

I never believed in anything about religion, but I hope he’s happy, wherever he is right at this moment. I hope the memory of him looks after all of us who will miss him for the years that will come.

I hope his family, friends and the rest of SHINee remains strong, because I believe he wouldn’t want them, or us, to be sad about what happened.

It’s a terrible loss to the world, he inspired so many people with his music, words and actions. Even if I never met him, I want to believe he was a kind and humble human being. I would have loved to see him perform, even just one single song, to see that energy and happiness on stage that we see in videos he clearly wanted to give us. I just wanted to have seen it once.

It’s never going to be the same now. I’ll continue to like K-pop, but it’s going to be difficult for me to listen to SHINee songs or his solo albums for a while. I need time to overcome this weird emptiness i’ve felt ever since I read about this tragedy.

For many of you out there, Shawols or not: please, never be afraid to reach out for help. You are loved. You might not see it, but you are. Never stop believing that. Fight with all you have, you’re not alone and you deserve to live.

Finally, this is not even half of what I feel right now, but the feelings are just too overwhelming for me to put them into simple words. But I would like to tell you one last thing. It takes time, but eventually it will get better, remember that.

And if you ever need to talk, i'm just one message away.

[jonghyuns-husband]

Hun… you’re not a bad Shawol. You just had been with the wrong crowd.

Yes I know it’s easy for me to say but it’s quite easy to get caught up with shit people say online that you kinda forget that it’s literally a small amount of people that you’re dealing with.

I know I’ve never been in a situation that you’re in where literally every discord server is either mean or inactive, but seriously you are not alone. There are probably people in your situation that is dealing with shit like this and they think that they’re the only ones because barely people talk about it like you. If I had to be honest here, you have to be one of the bravest Shawol I’ve ever met and I’m so glad you’re able to tell your story to everyone willing to make sure that others aren’t alone and also to make sure that your story comes up on google so more people can share theirs.

I know you’re working on your video now, but I know that it’s going to do so much good for you and the other K-pop fans or anyone in a fandom that is going through that.

Also I hope you know that you’re not a bad Shawol and so you definitely do have a great soul when you was thinking about donating to that fundraiser giveaway knowing it was going to the Shiny Foundation. Just because you said some stuff on tiktok or you got blocked by them, it doesn’t erase the goodness in your heart that you had for this guy’s mother. In fact, you even told me that you would even donate again but not in this way but directly through their PayPal (if they’re still active which I’m not sure) whenever you feel like it.

See if you ever go through shit like this again, don’t listen to what the mob says. Look at yourself and what you had done to see if you deserve this hate that you’re getting because unfortunately there’s nothing much you could do but to believe in yourself and also get some support since it must had been very mentally and emotionally draining to go through this harassment for months on end.

As someone who is a friend to you, I feel like leaving SHINee might be a better thing to do at this moment since it doesn’t seem like it’s doing you justice for your mental health. Interestingly, we’re both on the same page! It’s really hard for me to get off SHINee, but I know that it will happen eventually and with time I will slowly fade away until I wouldn’t even realise it until it’s gone.

I’d suggest you should try and get into a new group. Perhaps Seventeen or P1Harmony would be great groups to fade to. We can do it together if you’d like and you wouldn’t need to go online that way so your love for those groups would be purely on the music and the members’ personalities.

Hopefully my message made you feel much better and remember that SHINee would never hate their fans, especially Jonghyun. Don’t ever say that he’ll be happy that you’re no longer a Shawol anymore because he’ll love you no matter what because you loved him and that’s what mattered to him the most.

Love you man. Take care of yourself.

— Asahi.

Hey guys… I think I’m no longer interested in SHINee like I used to anymore. (Vent)

Everything felt like a mistake. I wish I never went to that SHINee discord server when that user told me to. I should of went with my guts and never interact with SHINee again after finding out about Dec 18th. Now my mental health has been going low lately and still until this day I feel shit about myself and feel worthless in my soul.

That pure, passionate Shawol that I knew and loved is dead and I can’t ever get him back. All just because of the Shawols I came across in my journey that went in and shredded his precious heart.

All just because he felt uncomfortable with the topic of Dec 18th coming up casually so he said a joke that made them uncomfortable.

All just because he made jokes on tiktok that led him to receive death threats afterwards.

All just because he saw a Jonghyun event on instagram that caught his eye and wanted to donate £10 alongside with him making a picture of Jonghyun for their event just for them to block him when he was ready to share it to them.

All just because his vented wasn’t validated on reddit and was even harassed and teared apart by low-life people who couldn’t even read which led the post getting taken down.

All just because he made a tumblr blog to express himself privately and not knowing how to private his blogs which lead to him getting harassed.

All that just for nothing. He didn’t deserve any of this. All he wanted from Shawols was someone he could call a friend and nobody could do that for him. He now feels worthless and a shit Shawol that he feels like it’s over and that nobody wants him.

It really felt like a stab on the back. He had nobody to talk to so he would vent to himself by making stories involving Dec 18th in a comedic manner since he doesn’t usually like saying it casually. Or a vent like what I’m doing which I barely do due to my toxic masculinity of maintaining my manhood as a young transgender guy.

Maybe I was doomed from when I was born. Maybe I shouldn’t have friends after all. Everything feels like they could be better without me. SHINee would be better if I was never a fan of theirs and maybe Jonghyun could truly rest in peace knowing that I’m no longer a fan of SHINee anymore.

I’m done being a Shawol. I’m sick of it.

[wuyifanxing]

I saw your post about venting to you & I just feel awful... I never considered myself a true Shawol, though SHINee was the second K-Pop group I ever found & I've always liked them a lot. Jonghyun's passing showed me how much I truly care about them & even though I only listen to a few songs, they mean so much to me. He wasn't my bias but I miss him so much. I've cried so much it hurts. Ugh. Sorry for bothering you, I know you're probably having a hard time too still & I hope you're doing well

thank you so much babe! most of us started with shinee i think ahaha i even saw them live ;_; but it’s going to be okay, i promise. just try to remember him not because of his death, but because of the amazing person he was, and because of all the happiness he has given us ;_;

a big hug and a big, big kiss, hope you’re doing better my lil flower ;u;

[jinniejohns-blog]

Because it does affect me and I do want to pay respects, I will post what I have said on my Twitter in regards to the horrific event that happened a few hours ago, as well as some other additions since Tumblr does not have a word limit. Please do not read if this topic is sensitive to you, I understand that...and the last thing I would want is to hurt someone or trigger them.

My heart is extremely heavy after hearing this news.. my tears won't stop...

Jonghyun was truly an angel, a blessing to us all. He is a star that will now fly beyond the clouds, spreading his love and positivity up above. We will continue loving you no matter what.

I loved him so much and will continue loving him. A piece is missing from my life and I feel empty, but I will push on as we all should. Be strong for him, his family, SHINee and Shawols. Rest In Peace, you beautiful, talented, amazing angel.

If you or anyone else you know has depression or suffers from suicidal thoughts....just know you are not alone. It feels like you are no matter what people say, I know that from personal experience, but PLEASE seek help or be the person to help anyone you know who is struggling.

To Jonghyun, 

Thank you. Thank you for always working hard for everybody, despite the struggling and pain you harboured within. Although it hurts, you are now in a better place and no longer will you have to fight through the horrible things you didn't deserve.

And now an addition... SHINee was truly a saviour to me. I do not post a lot about them, but I stanned them really hardcore when I was just getting into K-Pop. They helped me go through a lot of things in life, much like other K-Pop groups do today. Of course, none of that matters because it doesn’t matter whether you just got into SHINee, always have been, or barely even know them. The fact is a human being died today; and an amazing one at that. That should be what matters. It doesn’t matter if you don’t stan them or never did, it doesn’t matter if you’re an ARMY, an EXO-L, a BLINK, an iGOT7 or any other fandom out there. Please just give your respect and condolences to an amazing human being, a man of many talents who did not deserve to go through the suffering and pain that he did.

Jonghyun - thank you. You have helped me and many others and your legacy will be carried on through the years. December 18th will be an important date to many now, not for death but for the remembrance of someone who deserves to be remembered.

#RIPJongHyun , you will always be loved by Shawols and many others who have heard your name, music, and beautiful laughter. You will forever be in the hearts of those you have touched. You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.

[fyjjong]

How do you feel about the Shawols (on Twitter and such) that are saying that it's a good thing that SHINee's first schedule as OT5 is in Japan because Japan treats them better and deserves them? I saw one that said that Japan "earned SHINee" and that Korea betrayed them

okay. i’m going to keep this as short and to the point as i can. there’s really no denying that j-fandom has done a lot for shinee in the last few years. a large chunk of their personal income comes from there (considering that sm splits a larger percentage toward their artists in overseas scheduling) and j-shawols are undoubtedly very loyal.

but i think that people need to be careful about the way that they phrase their “japan deserves shinee more than korea comments” because a lot of them begin to generalize the country as a whole and i’ve even seen a few border on sounding flat out anti-korean. 

i know that there’s been a lot of issues in k-fandom lately, specifically in regards to onew, but for every anti or troll that has gone after him there is another k-shawol on the sidelines giving him support. what i think needs to be known about this is: antis and trolls are being very, very loud right now; so loud and persistent that it’s been difficult for k-shawols to be heard over them. it doesn’t help that a lot of these antis were never shawols to begin with: some are sm antis, some are idol antis, so on and so forth and they’re all spending their free time trying to spam sites to make it seem like they’re stronger than k-shawols when, in reality, they’re just more obnoxious. it’s a waste of time on their part, really. it also doesn’t help that media has been ignoring the good things that k-shawols have been doing (such as: trending onew’s birthday at #1 for hours on twitter, the yellow letter project for his birthday, his merch at coex selling out quickly and the seasons greetings selling well) in favor of reporting on negative and sometimes untrue content regarding fandom because they get more clicks that way. so, at the end of the day, things may be shitty but not all hope is lost. these people either need to get bored or realize that nothing is going to go in their favor. the ones that keep on trying to stir the pot later are … well, that’s their choice. it’s sad but it’s still their choice, i guess. 

it’s also important to not let yourself be influenced by translations that are done by sites like allkpop, pannchoa and netizenbuzz (aka the devil incarnate) in relation to shinee. they, like a good chunk of korean media right now, want to translate the negative and are avoiding the positive because it doesn’t benefit them. some are also biased and dislike shinee for some reason. (*cough*netizenbuzz*cough*)

anyway, moving on: as i said … j-shawols have done a lot for shinee and japan does deserve shinee but so does korea. korea … you know, their home country. at the end of the day korea is always going to be their home and it’s likely always going to be the place where they want to be the most. their careers are rooted there, their families and friends are there, so on and so forth. japan may give shinee more in terms of touring, but korea still gives them a lot too. it’s in korea that the members are going to get more variety and drama work, and also in korea where they’re most likely to get more endorsement work as well. this balances out with japan for two reasons: there’s not an incredibly high interest in the hallyu wave there at the moment and korean idols are rarely invited onto music shows, etc. 

i got a bit more long winded than i was wanting to but yeah. it’s best not to say that one country “deserves” shinee more than the other because they benefit from each. (and there’s already been enough instances where k-shawols and j-shawols have fought in the past to begin with; i-shawols don’t want to get mixed up in grievances that they may have with one another on certain topics.) let’s just be happy with what we have coming.