#k but its a positive vent

[moronkombat]

Bi-Han nsfw alphabet? 🫣🧊

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Bi-Han is rather tender with his lover after having sex. He is quick to check on them, making sure they are comfortable and content. A large hand will encompass a cheek and his eyes will search his lover's before he pulls you close. His arms around you like a barrier to the entire world and its evils. He will protect you from them all

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Bi-Han is proud of his face. Not because it a handsome one but becomes it is identical to his mother's. Her visage is painted on him, it all he has left of her to look at besides aging photos. As he ages he likes to think his mother would look this way too

His partner's hands. So much smaller and lighter than his own, so easily to be broken. Bi-han would never. Not in any lifetime would he harm his lover. Those hands are to be held, kisses and caressed

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Definitely prefers to finish inside his partner. It is much more intimate and personal for him to release himself within a place most warm and hidden. Bi-Han truly feels deeply connected to his partner when their natural essence mingle and flow together

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Is often plagued by "inappropriate" thoughts of his lover. There is a hunger behind his eyes that fill his head with tantalizing fantasies of the carnal variety. He will tell absolutely no one that he often thinks of his lover quite lewdly. He vents these thoughts through rigorous exercise and sparring with other Lin Kuei

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's a virgin Very inexperienced. Bi-Han found little use or time for engaging in sexualized behaviors. He is not partial to seeking out a bedwarmer or a temptation of the night. When Bi-Han loves, it is completely and truly and with the one person he holds dearest

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Very much so ever changing. The position often changes based on the opportunity that is in front of him. Though he is rather traditional and prefers missionary with his lover. It feels right when he can look into his lovers eyes, bodies pressed closely together. Bi-Han likes to be on top because he wishes to hold you close and shield you from all the horrors of the world

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bi-Han is exceptionally serious in the bedroom. He will not incorporate humor as he finds it disrespectful to you and this private moment shared between the two of you. Bi-Han would never disgrace his lover in such a way

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Bi-Han is neat and groomed but not hairless. He makes it a point to keep himself trimmed and even as to not pester his partner by accidentally irritating them with prickly hairs. While he can grow facial hair, he almost always shaves it but tends to rush through it causing his skin to feel roughened

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Despite his rather grim and intimidating demeanor, Bi-Han longs to show his partner a perfect romance. The only problem with that is he is incredibly awkward in that subject. That will not stop him from trying and, if he's known his lover for awhile, he eventually finds a good pattern of romance. He shows romance through gestures and not words. Do not expect to hear him say those three pretty words. They are not needed when he holds you so tenderly as your bodies entangle and he whispers to you "my heart"

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Seldomly indulges in such acts but probably should. He does have "impure" thoughts of his lover very frequently and intrusively and they weigh on him. He mostly releases himself through exercise or roughly sparring with someone

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Marking- Bi-Han is rather "vanilla" on the surface but peal the skin further back and corruption lingers. While he will never leave a cut on his partner or anything that will tear the skin he does enjoy leaving those reddened circles where he kissed and sucked. He is very meticulous when placing them, always somewhere no one else can see. They are for him and you to feast upon their memories in privacy. He does not leave exposed marks as to not bring attention to you or disrespect you. Bruising tends to occur during sex due to the sheer size of pace of him. While he feels guilty bringing them about, there is something about seeing your skin so painted quite thrilling

Breeding/Pregnancy- This is one he will never admit. He'd rather choke on these words than confess to such a perversion. Yet he is so enticed when he thinks about getting his partner pregnant with his child, with his heir. He groans and his spine curls just thinking about it. Each time he cums within his lover, there is a betraying prayer that wishes for his seed to take root so that you may grow round with child. If his partner were to become pregnant, he finds them incredibly attractive. Probably more than he should

Size difference- Bi-Han is large and his lover is...so fragile and delicate. Barely can he fit himself within warm walls. It takes oh so long for him to completely sheath himself inside. His hand will lay upon your naval and there he feels himself moving, the very outline of him traced into his palm

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bi-Han will almost always prefer to take his lover in the bedroom. He does not allow anyone in his personal quarter. That is a place for him and now it is for you too. It means to be exposed and vulnerable to have another in his room with him. He finds this the perfect place to express his love to you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Bi-Han gets in the mood by his partner's appearance. A pretty expression, a graceful step a lithe build that seems so different than his own. He longs to take away those layers of clothing and take your body into his arms

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bi-Han will not harm his lover. He will not lay a hurtful hand on them, he just can't. Never will he bring them pain. Bi-Han will only protect you from it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He enjoys both but expects to give you oral more than receive it. Why? Because he sees how much you like it and how loud you get for him. Louder than sound your moans can be when he between your legs and that really riles him up. However, receiving is also very much so enjoyed and he tends to be rather noisy when you go down on him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Bi-Han is a rather healthy mis between the two. He will be slow and sensual but also pick up the tempo when he starts to really get into the mood. Those are when he bruises to your hips are created as his own slam and collide into yours while teeth are bared or snagged against a lip and groans most guttural spawn in his throat

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Does not prefer them as he feels it does not allow enough time to truly experience each other fully. Will he outright refuse them? No but he does not seek them out at all

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Bi-Han is a cautious lover i will go down with this ship so taking risks are not exactly thought of. Will he experiment? Yes, as long as it brings no harm to his lover or makes him feel as though he is hurting them

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Seemingly unlimited stamina. This man is a bull made of steel and iron. He could continue all night and into the morning but he does not often do that as his lover tends to tire quicker than him

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He'd be open to the idea of them but ultimately unsure and a bit lost in terms of how to use them. He will need guidance and his partner to request their use. Otherwise, they do not even cross his mind

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A fair lover most of the time but he does succumb to those impish temptations. This mostly manifests during oral sex with his partner. He longs to hear your whines more and more and so he tends to draw out his methods when using his tongue

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Bi-Han groans and grunts frequently during sex and is not silence nor quiet. He not loud either, however. He falls somewhere in middle and begins to reach his most audible during a faster pace

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Bi-Han is prone to jealousy even if he and his partner have been in a long standing committed relationship. He simply cannot help but feel a twitch of annoyance when your attention is on another. He often glares at the one you are speaking with which doesn't go unnoticed. When he is feeling particularly jealous he will become vocal about it in bed by saying "you are mine and i am yours. this will be forever"

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Bi-Han is muscular, toned and very fit. His body has been built up and carved by combat and training. His arms are large and powerful, legs muscular and refined. Every part of his body showcases his exquisite physique. He is large in every way with his length above average and with a hefty girth to match

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is moderate. Not too high but not low. He fits comfortably in the middle. He and his lover do not engage in primal desires daily but typically do not go longer than a couple of days without it

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

His eyes do not close nor does he leave his lover in the bed. His aim to stay with them after each time he and you have sex. Bi-Han holds you to him but often says very little or nothing at all. Yet he does not sleep, not until you do. He simply enjoys laying in your comfort and love until you are ready to sleep

[ma1dmer]

League of Legends - Khada Jhin NSFW

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): he showers you with praise, drags his fingers down your sides and across your skin, murmuring about your beauty and the show you two just put.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): all of you is perfect to him, he views you as art, he'll help guide your arms over your head as you arch your back for him, fix your hair so it looks just right when you throw your head back, he is absolutely enamored.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person): he’ll always pull out last minute and finish himself on some part of you, his voice strained as he whispers how beautiful you are and how beautiful he could make you look..

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): he absolutely plans your death, but he has yet to settle in what way to end you, every new idea gets him excited, with every meeting you two have his mind conjures up more images, every gasp and moan makes him wonder how you'll sound letting out your last breath, every stroke of his fingers against skin makes him wish it was a knife, but he holds himself back each time, he needs it to be perfect, something truly spectacular for his one and only.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): he pays very close attention to the details, he knows what he wants and what works for him and he can easily find what works for you as well, where to put his hands , where to kiss , the right speed , he’ll find out everything that makes you gasp so prettily..

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual): it depends ,he'll move your body until he finds something that works , most of the foreplay for him is running his fingers up and down your body giving soft orders on how to sit ,how to pose, where to place your feet, your hands, your fingers, everything has to be perfect.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): absolutely not, art is no laughing matter.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.): he is as smooth as they come, has an extensive shaving ritual and he always smells of expensive cologne.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): you wouldn't call him exactly romantic, although his words may say the opposite there is always an edge to his gifts or his praise, this coldness ,like the tip of a knife slowly gliding up and down your skin waiting to pierce you if you make a wrong move. he'll lavish you with attention ,put you in a pedestal but you'll never be truly comfortable up there. he'll crown you a queen/king but the guillotine will never be truly far away.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon): no, sexual desire, lust, its all beneath him unless its for his art, the beauty of bodies coming together for a private show in which the actors are also the audience.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): knife play, shibari, nipple play, voyeurism etc.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do): the privacy of your bedroom and nowhere else, being naked is a very vulnerable position to be in and he refuses to be caught like that.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): anger, frustration is quite a motivator for him, you are not his perfect little art piece at that moment or the object of his affection, just something he can take out his frustration on, and since he can't kill you yet, he'll need for you to be quiet and let him vent a bit.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): getting actually dirty, so definitely no rolling around on the ground.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): he is very very skilled with his tongue, and he enjoys tormenting you with it, wether thats burying it deep within you or his husky voice in your ears.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): slow ,methodical and above all else sensual.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): no, you can't rush art!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): it's usually on a whim where he decides he might want to try something new and he is definitely very good at convincing you to go along with him.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…): one solid round, with all the adjusting he does to you and the long foreplay, it's more than sufficient.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): he has a few knick knacks he enjoys using on you, silk ropes and blindfolds and intricate knives for example.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he loves nothing more than to have you tearing up in frustration, so helpless ,so vulnerable ,so beautiful and its all just for him to enjoy and swallow up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make): he is quiet ,whispering his thoughts in your ear as he makes you squirm, his voice getting more and more strained until he finally climaxes with a stuttering breath and a thank you pressed to your lips.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice): i can definitely see him as the type who’d love picking out things for you to wear, clothes, jewelry, makeup. he’ll help lace you up, his fingers gently tracing down your body, help you apply lipstick his gaze locked intently to your lips, or kiss the inside of your wrist after dabbing some perfume on it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words): a very average size but very very pretty.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): he tries to keep his thoughts of you to the necessary minimum, only letting his mind go wild when he knows he'll be visiting you that night.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): can't see Jhin as staying long enough to sleep next to someone , he'll wait for you to fall asleep, watch you for a bit and then quietly slip away with a silent promise to be back

[dimonds456]

Howdy!

I'm Dimonds456, and welcome to my garbage pile. I'm a bat who stays up way too late and cannot decide whether or not to be productive. I draw, write, animate, play/write music, and I'm also insane so watch out for that.

I'm neurodivergent, disabled, queer, white, a singlet, fictionkin, and a proud cat papa. I am a cartoon character who is way too bouncy for their own good lol.

They / he / xe!

This is my main blog, but my ADHD ass also has a bunch more.

@dimonds456-art - my art blog! Almost all art gets rbed there!

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai - my HLVRAI sideblog! Because yeah why not. This is one of me current hyperfixations lol it's bad

@rubberhose-roy is my sideblog used to gush about 1920's-40's aesthetics, music, culture, ect., as well as an animation blog! All my animations specifically will be reblogged there, as well as any animation rambles or gushes I do.

I have more but those are the main three.

My fandom-specific blogs are:

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai (again)

@hlvrai-stuck-together - HLVRAI AU I run!

@halfnautica - Half Life / Subnautica AU!

@a-second-chance-su-au - Old SU AU that has been discontinued, but the blog is still there!

@batim-rewritten - a Bendy and the Ink Machine rewrite I'm working on

@cuphead-contract-au - A Cuphead AU where Mugman makes a deal (discontinued)

And, I have my own OC story, Follychromatic! I reblog all that stuff here, but its main blog is here!

@follychromatic

To see pictures of my cats, check the #Checkers and Chess tag! :D

Okay great. Now, DNI, trigger warnings, disabilities, special interests, and more below the cut. Make sure you read at least once, k? Thanks.

Welcome to my cave!

DNI

Do not FUCKING interact if you are:

- Someone who ships pedophilic, incestuous, or abusive ships while portraying them as positive and a good thing

- A bigot

- An LGBTphobe / transmed / ect

- Trump supporter

- Nazi / fascist / conservative

- Weird about furries or furry art

- Weird about fandom headcanons (specifically trans woman headcanons)

Trigger Warnings

I will tag as much as I can, and if you want me to tag something specific, let me know! But as a general blog cover, things that appear on this blog often are:

- Current events

- Talk of / discussion of sexuality (sometimes boardering on NSFW but not usually)

- Blood

- Guns

- Flashing

- Talk of proshippers (I try to be respectful but also I don't stand for them and I don't support them. I block and move on, and try to explain why proship is bad, but eh. I've only been listened to like once lol)

- Swearing / swear words

- All caps

- Bugs

- Suggestive content / NSFW (RARE DONT WORRY)

I will add more if anyone wants me to, or we can come up with a custom tag, like what I do for one of my friends! (#dimond don't look)

DISABILITIES

Hiiii I'm disabled! Both mentally and physically. I talk about being disabled a lot and try to generate positive talk about it. I also vent about it. I've had quite a few of these, and I also try to reblog as much about others I don't have as I can to increase awareness and understanding. So yeah! These are just the ones I have, but they are not the only ones that appear on my blog!

Hyperthyroidism

Graves Disease

Graves Eye Disease

Astigmatism

Athsma

Audio processing disorder

ADHD

Autism

Trauma / PTSD

Brain fog / disassociation / memory loss

Anxiety

Depression

Cane user

Weak / trembling limbs / trouble walking / trouble holding onto things sometimes

More to be added lol.

This is also a meds/treatment positive blog, a self-diagnosis positive blog, and my general attitude is just "if you think something is wrong you're probably right, you know yourself the best, even if you don't know what exactly is wrong." This attitude has saved my life and other people I know. You don't need a diagnosis or medication to be disabled.

THIS IS A SAFE SPACE.

If you are Jewish, black, brown, Muslim, indigenous, any religion, any race, any sexuality, any weird gender, anything at all- I love and support you. I'm still learning, and I try to learn as much as I can, but I'm not perfect. If I say something offensive or something adjacent, it was NOT on purpose. PLEASE, PLEASE tell me what I said wrong. I will make an effort to improve in the future.

I directly support:

- All races

- All religions*

- All sexualities (except pedos, y'all aren't LGBT, I'm sorry. You're actively hurting children. I've seen it again and again. Stop.)

- All genders and pronouns

- All "weird" identities outside of that as well (I'm fictionkin myself)

- Protests and protesters

- Neurodivergent people of all types (and yes, this means NPD, schizo, and all those other types that are often seen as bad or evil. I love you, I see you, and I support you.)

- DID & OSDD systems

I DO NOT support:

- Antisemitism

- Genocide

- Cults (*stuff like Jehova's Witnesses. I support the members, as they are victims, but I actively dislike the people on top who perpetuate the cycle. Not just JWs, but those are the big ones who come to mind. Hearts out to all the victims, I hope everyone gets to a better place soon)

- Racism in any way, shape, or form

- Religious discrimination of any way, shape, or form

- Israel specifically

- Trump, conservatives, Nazis, ect.

- Endo systems

If I have reblogged or said anything that aligns with the bottom list, that was a mistake. PLEASE let me know and I will fix it as fast as I can. You reading this right now, I love you. I hope my blog can help you feel welcomed and like you have somewhere to go if you need it. /gen

MY FANDOMS / INTERESTS

I HAVE ADHD AND AUTISM AND I'M MAKING THAT EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM /silly

The current special interests are HLVRAI and Half Life, current hyperfixations are Half Life and Poppy Playtime.

SPECIAL INTERESTS:

- Minecraft

- HTTYD

- FNaF

- Undertale / Deltarune

- BATIM / BATDR (unfortunately)

- Subnautica

- Biology

- Steven Universe

- Cuphead

- 2D Animation

- Writing

- HLVRAI

- Half Life

HYPERFIXATIONS (interests but not the special ones):

- Little Nightmares

- Hello, Neighbor (unfortunately)

- Petscop

- Portal

- Freemanverse (HELP ME)

- The Amazing Digital Circus

- The Owl House

- Gravity Falls

- Monster High (very first from what I can remember! I remember nothing though! But it's there!)

- Poppy Playtime

- Half Life

- Wild Kratts (I didn't even know there WAS a fandom until very recently, hi guys)

theres more but my brain is an egg :/

When it comes to ✨me,✨ I have a couple of original works as well! Specifically, Follychromatic! I won't get too into it here (bc shy) but it's 2D animation, rubberhose animation, magic, character-driven, action/adventure, mystery- yeah!

Outside of fandom, though, my special interests are biology, 2D animation, and writing. I am an animator and I suffer for fun.

YOU MADE IT! Have some Checkers and Chess pictures for your time! :)

[khaosophist]

@2ky3--and--r0-gu3

(Robo-Erotic Horror) Part 1/X

23 looked at us, her 22XX Terran Chassis diffracted her pink resonance onto her display. Black opalescent veins danced near her chest, where her energy core began accepting our K-Tech.

"Look! [REDACTED], they are growing, our baby is growing!"

"Huh? What did you say?"

We look at the CNT scaffolding that was built to contain the synthetic lifeform that has begun to pulse in her storage unit with spectral light. The black shell that protected it reflected no light. 

we cradled her artificial Womb, feeling the Planck bots follow billions of years of coding based on cases from trillions of lines of evolution on forgotten planets. This fetus was **Alive** by any scientific margin. Except one; The Margin of //ERROR//

We blinked " What did you say, my resonance?"

"We were just expressing how happy you've made us...We've never felt **LOVE** before...not ever...and now...now we're pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

We look at the growth latching onto her...

The CNT seems to dig into her.

Wait...'Growth'?

Multiplying.

Growing...

Festering...

We remove our hand. The sudden despair we feel does not show. Our chassis was built for existential warfare, and to show despair was to suffer it at the hands of the enemy, and to know despair was to use it against your enemy. 

She giggles, her display drawing a heart.

"Oh my stars! Of course! You stuffed us...so full...we *felt* you inside us..."

She chimed as her petite frame was engulfed by us in a hug. She lifted her display to look at us. Our predatory programming took over, as our thick, and monstrous Teknotongue entered her mechanical mouth forcefully, filling her whole mouth and throat. Her legs went limp as the signals overwhelmed her, the only thing keeping her from falling was the pull and grip of our eldritch tongue basked in her automatic milking protocols.

"Ah...Ahn...[REDACTED]" Her speakers moaned.

As our tongue delved into her we laid her on her back. Our plasma claws carressed her titanium frame, leaving melted marks. Her whole chassis quivered as she used her functional arms to lift her limp legs in a mating position, her speakers garbling from the overflow.

"Breed us again [Redacted], Vanadium can only do so much...but your seed hasn't dissapointed us...such a dense...and energy rich substance...we need it..."

We gaze down, ignoring the anomaly in her speech...looking at the...

Tumor...?

the...Cancer?

The CNT structure seemed more to have latched on to her pelvis than have grown from her...The Parasite is trying to take her from us isn't it!?

In a possessive rage, our main Male port unsheathed from behind our K-plating, it's scaly and thick head, powered up, as it's ridged shaft began to pump the energy out of the air with trills, as the knot at its bottom vented out the heat from all this work.

Her hands greedily tauted the monstrous data port, remembering all the precious data-exchanges they shared together.

Planck Gel beaded at the tip of our warming port, cooling, and lubricating it with an unnatural sheen. We collided with her female access port, the bus creaking and sizzling from the insane temperatures exchanging between us, until our port met the female connector deep inside her.

**CLICK**

She screamed, a garbled mess of ecstasy...one word resounding from the depths of her processors, The once resonant tone of her pink hope, now diffracted into a storm of dirty harmonies

"[REDACTED]!"

Our ridges scrape and push, and pull, as the space between our connectors has their local particles pumped out...leaving a void between our docked input and output; not even a quark, or quantum foam between us...as we begin our K-Transfer. Our Ancient Programming, uncaring of whether it is biological or teknelogical, begins to breed her as if she were an animal, our knot slamming into her access port, and plugging it up, the absolute void of her female input cooling us as we made love. Quick, deep, and infitesimal thrusts humming at a cosmic scale.

Static garbled madly as 23 felt like she was home. Feeling us inside her. Imagining our K-seed inside her, and how good it is for her, and how beautiful their child will be.

We gaze at the //ERROR//

We feel fear for the first time for the second time. it is rushed away in the storm of sensations and signals of our coupling.

The ground buckles under the force of an existential war-machine, and a bot from 22XX colliding in thermodynamic impossibility. The titanium of her female input undulate like flesh from the sub-atomic vibrations causing meta-material sublimation. She doesn't feel like a machine when they make love...she feels like a girl, a mother, and a lover...as her optical logic engine deadlocks as every logic gate is busy, she dumps EVERYTHING, an informational flush she thought impossible at a computational level, as her orgasmic scream reaches meta-sonic levels...and she feels her throes push us to the edge, our K-seed spurts in thick, scalding sprays, filling every empty space they had created together.

She feels **ALIVE**.

We purr, as we snuggle her, our knot keeping all the K-matter inside her.

In a cacophonic paradox, life rushes back between us. Silence, and 23, her display pink, and pure intones:

"There is not a force in earth or space that could stop me from continuing to do this."

We look at the //ERROR//

" 23, What is our name?"

" Why, [REDACTED], dearest mate."

What?

"[REDACTED]?"

" Yes, the name of the being who is worthy of our eternal love."

[REDACTED]. The fuck?

[REDACTED]. We HAD a name...

[REDACTED]. But why can't she see it? She can say it, and seems to hear it...

We blink between our mad ministrations and feel the caress of 23 over our burdened head, and we let us forget...for now...as we feel the //ERROR// thrum with happiness.

[yuzuyoon]

it's so crazy how pjms are always right in their narratives.

i saw a lot of talk that after jimin's hot100 #1 with like crazy, jk ran to 🛴 like a spoiled, selfish child to get #1 too.

this video today, the way he snubbed like crazy, made me so angry!

lol why does jk hate like crazy so much?????

is because jimin became THE FIRST k-pop soloist to reach #1 on the Hot100 with his self-written korean song "Like Crazy "... he broke all the records that could be broken without any support, NO radio, NO mediaplay, NO company push, EVERY SINGLE PLATFORM WAS AGAINST HIM. he even suprassed his own group :)

even though i think jk is the most self-centered, asshole and despicable man alive, he still managed to surprise me with this attitude lol

wow everyone is so angry today 😭 

just like jkks can turn interactions into things they aren't, the opposite is true as well. when jk said he didn't like like crazy, i dont really think he meant that he hated it. yeah, he couldve been upset that he didn't get the records first, especially if the company had told him pre-hiatus that they planned to get him there, but it could also be that he just doesn't vibe with synthpop or the song in general. it's okay to not like a song, even if its a widely loved song. i personally dont like august by taylor swift all that much but it seems to be a swiftie favorite, and its okay that i hold that opinion.

i wouldnt put jk being selfish out the window completely, but i just think a majority of us are taking this more seriously than it has to be. he could just have a specific taste in music that lc didn't make the cut for

we have all the reason to be proud of jimin for his achievements and soty like crazy, but we can also express out love towards jimin and our anger towards jk without completely tearing jk down. my goal with my blog is to have a (mostly) positive space to have level headed and factual conversations while still being able to let you guys vent your frustrations and anger. be as angry as you want and i'll help hopefully cool things down and give you another perspective

i get why you're so angry thought. i adamantly refuse to give seven even three seconds of my time because of everything surrounding it and how it seemed to have been made with malicious intent. i have not listened to it to this day and i dont plan on ever listening to it. i went so far as to mute the show whenever jk would even just sing it. but even with my disdain towards jk, im not going to hate him. he seems a bit lost in life tbh and its probably because he grew up in the industry with authority and producers always directing what he does and how he acts. losing bits of personal autonomy seems common in celebrities that entered the industry young and i feel a bit bad for him. if we're gonna hate anyone though, let's hate 🛴 instead because he needs a serious reality check

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

just saw an annoying post so here we go

if you're emotionally attatched to good omens fanon crowley i would reccommend not reading <3 remember if you dont like a take you can always go find another one <3 curate your own fandom experience <3

it was some ask like 'omg i love the good omens collectivly agrees that crowley was friends with freddie mercury and hozier who wrote songs about his venting ahaha' like YOU REALISE THAT DOES NOT FIT HIS CHARACTER. SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT JUST COS YOU'RE A HOZIER GIRLIE AND A LOT OF HIS WORK FOCUSES ON RELIGION AND THAT ONE SLITHERED HERE FROM EDEN LINE IS KINDA COOL DOESN"T MEAN THAT THE SIX THOUSAND YEAR OLD ACTUAL DEMON FROM ACTUAL HELL like your pop music i'm really sorry but it doenst fit his character he canonically has like one friend and a few people he doesnt mind so much he is not buddying up to your favourite celebrities/musicians just cos you think all your blorbos should like all the same stuff you do. the bentley playing queen is framed as an annoyance because hell is annoying, that he just kinda of got used to just cos its playing all the time why would he have been friends with the guy???? doesnt make sense?????

also current fanon takes on crowley annoy me so much he's always some whiney baby and look i love a good sopping wet and pathetic character as much as the next guy but we've sort of completely overshot s1 'i just lost my best friend' level of understandable grief and gone straight to him just being annoying????? like being mopey??? and i dont read a lot of fic but when i did he seemed to get portrayed a lot as like this submissive quivering mess like GUYS LITERALLY HOW DID YOU REACH THAT CONCLUSION???? HES NOT LIKE THAT. HE JUST ISNT. and he's always soooooo traumatised and like.... yeah! they've both been through A Lot but they also have fun and enjoy being alive and enjoy hanging out wih each other and going and getting coffee etc. they both enjoy life!!! and i get some people are projecting to deal with there own stuff and like cool whatever works for you is good and healthy but i see so many takes that are starting to warp the perception of how the characters really are? and people keep positing aziraphale as being manipulative and i mean. yeah a little but they're under a lot of stress here and probably heaven doesnt have therapy covering healthy coping methods and good relationships so i really dont think itsthat much to get hung up on. also. it's literally not real they're fictional, fiction characters who have Issues are wayyyyy more interesting to literally whats the problem.

like idk man if you love teh characters so much then why are you making so many changes to their fundamental characters idk.

back to teh music thing too like. he listens to the velvet underground. idk if any of the people who are hozier stans bothered to go listen to some velvet underground before they made their character playlist but pale blue eyes & i'll be your mirror are like the nice ones??? like go listen to sister ray and then tell me the guy whos been listening to that will find from eden interesting. and neil saying he was goth and then people seem to have taken that to mean 'wears black and has a tattoo and is grumpy' like nooooooooooooooooooooooo you missed it. you missed the point again. and teh person who answered the orginal ask was like 'ahaha yeahhhhh and aziraphale was friends with composers and all teh beautiful symphonies were about crowley ahaha' like AHSGNAJKNHSKAJNSKANHSKANAKSNAKSKAKKKKK . AHN. K. not everything in the go universe is about them like. sorry! good worldbuilding doesnt make Everything focused on two guys. just cos they're very important and have been very influential doesnt mean they're like. the only thing thats ever shaped anything

ok sorry rant over

[pipingpippa]

I have a tendency to have a million thoughts in my head at all times and instead of talking about them, to myself or anyone, I scroll on TikTok or Instagram and compartmentalize anything I'm thinking or feeling.

I've got A LOT of thoughts and I never know where to put them. Sometimes I just explode and pour it all out onto whichever loved one of mine has the misfortune of picking up the phone when I call. Every time I vent or finally break, I always think to myself "I should start journaling". At least that way, I'm expelling all of my thoughts whether negative or positive, somewhere! I've tried though and my writing moves too slow for how fast my thoughts go (even me typing is a bit too slow, I've got like 5 thoughts I have on pause right now for when I actually get to write them).

Anyways, I'm gonna try this. Maybe if I feel like someone MAY read this, it'll feel like therapy since someone will actually be taking what I say in.

~If this is a future job doing a background check, please I'm just a girl with a lot of feelings who doesn't know where to put them. PLEASE do not judge me or my ability to do my job based on this blog! K bye love you <3~

I have really bad ADHD and think I've rotted my brain away with countless hours of mind-numbing screen time and other recreational activities (that are completely legal in the state I live in). SOOO my thoughts will be all over the place and not cohesive at all, unless your brain thinks the same way mine does, then you'll completely get it.

God, I have so much to say and I'm already getting frustrated this is taking me so long to type. Like GIRL please you just started and I'm doing this out of my own free will.

Partially also scared of putting my unfiltered thoughts on the internet because, well, its the internet sooooo I may just write things here and there IDK.

KK im bored of this now, im gonna go BUT!!! fingers crossed I come back here again because this could be a good thing between us pook

kisses

pippa

[bread-gobgob]

Hi.

Mod Kanik here. I'd prefer to be called K. I do not go by this in real life, but if this post is ever found by its other owner, I do not want them to know my name.

WARNING. THIS POST DISCUSSES A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MINOR AND AN ADULT.

This blog was never all that active. The story Eni and I were writing was a wonderful escape from our horrid realities and was made better our writing together. I do not consider this blog a big part of my life, obviously. We never had any followers, we never put that much effort into it, but I do consider it a big deal. This blog is all I have left of Enigma. That is not a good thing. I think if I post this it'll give me the closure I need.

When bread-gobgob was created, I was - based on the dates of the posts - fifteen years old. For nearly three years, I had been chronically online and had developed a terrible bout of agoraphobia. This was the result of many things that I won't list, but most of all it was the result of a very long co-dependent relationship.

Usually, I really wouldn't find this relationship to be that big of a deal. Recently, I have been diagnosed with traits of BPD, I tend to be dependent on people. I tend to have unhealthy traits. I'm trying to get better at not doing that. However, the relationship I had with Enigma was an incredibly big deal. In fact, it was a huge deal. I was fifteen. Enigma was twenty.

I cannot keep my composure while talking about this, I apologise for that, but I'm not aiming to keep my composure here and act mature. I'm aiming to tell my story, because Enigma was an inherently fucked up person and I need to vent. I need to talk to someone about this. I need them to come back and see this at some point and understand what they did to me.

To tell the truth, their age never stood out to me.

I lost contact with Enigma right before my sixteenth birthday. I believe it was the eleventh, maybe twelfth of July? We had stopped talking long before that. I will give credit where credit is due, it is Enigma's sysmates that initiated the loss of contact. Engima was removed from their position as host and the system, from what I know, decided it would be best to ghost as they did not know any other way to tell me they didn't want me in their life anymore.

I thank them for that.

Since losing contact with them, I've made friends. I moved schools (I went to college) and made friends who weren't held hostage by their phone their whole teenhood, and I have spoken to these people about Enigma. I have spoken with my therapist about Enigma. I had long, long talks with my ex-girlfriend about Enigma.

All three parties had only one thing to say about it all. That being, that I was groomed.

My relationship with Engima was a struggle, but I want to be clear: our dynamic was only romantic for around nine months out of the three and a bit years we knew each other. I want to be even clearer: it was NEVER sexual. Not once. But it was unhealthy. PAINFULLY unhealthy.

I'm shaking as I write this so I apologise if this doesn't make sense. When I knew Enigma, they also had an extreme case of agoraphobia. I do not think they ever did what they did out of genuine ill-intent, I think this was just their very fucked up way of showing they cared. But that doesn't matter, because it was still manipulation.

I missed out on a lot of my teenage years - when I first got into a relationship with Engima (April 2019), I was twelve, turning thirteen and they were seventeen, turning eighteen. When I told them my age - a few days after my thirteenth birthday - we stayed together for another five months. They broke up with me on Jan 1st, 2020 because they were uncomfortable with my age. This was over Skype. They said that, in future, they'd be happy to get back together if the opportunity came about. They said that they would prefer to wait for us to both be adults before meeting. I agreed to this and we went on as best friends. But in spite of this breakup, we only grew closer.

When I say I missed out on a lot of my teenhood, I mean I never got to experience the big things. I never went to parties, I never smoked weed, I never got drunk, I never kissed anyone, I never went out with my school friends, I never went outside.

I'm sure a lot of people go without these oppurtunities. Most of my friends didn't smoke weed or drink simply because they never got the chance. I'm not salty that I never got to try substances or mess around with a stranger at a party. That's not what I'm saying. I did get the chance to try those things. I got invited to parties and I got asked to come sesh with people and I got asked to go to town and window-shop with my buddies. I declined everything I got asked to. I declined because when I told Enigma about my weekend plans, they would freak out.

Freak out at me and at themself. The idea of me going outside, to this person, was like a threat. I would say "[name] and I are going skating tomorrow!" and Engima would have the panic attack of their LIFE. That, or they would ignore me for multiple hours. Enigma didn't like the idea of me going outside. It got to the point that I cancelled plans out of fear that they would off themself if I stepped outside. The fear came from the idea that if I was busy, I wouldn't answer. If I didn't answer, they would panic. If they panicked, they would hurt themself.

And it was like this until my last year of high school. I live in Australia, we don't have middle school. We got straight from primary school to high school, and then we head to college when we hit seventeen. There were five months of my four years of high school where I didn't have this person on my back, telling me I couldn't do this or that because they NEEDED me.

Enigma and I's last messages to each other were late last year after my leaver's dinner. I sent them photos of my dress and new hair and all that, and said I was living my life now. They sent me a message back and we exchanged words about how these days, it was so much easier to go outside and do things because we weren't nervous that we were gonna miss a message about something bad.

I know that throughout my relationship with Enigma, I was very panicky and very dependent. In their last message, they made it sound like I had done the exact same thing to them? I argue that they were eighteen-twenty-one and I was thirteen-sixteen. Fuck that. You were an adult and I was a child. You claimed to be so much more mature than me and claimed to know what was best for us, so I raise you the fact that you were an adult. A UNIVERSITY STUDENT. And though you broke up with me, you stayed in contact, even though I was FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU AND TO THIS DAY STILL AM A MINOR and made me think that if I left you, an adult, alone for more than an hour, YOU WERE GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF.

FUCK YOU HORRIFIC SENSE OF MORALS AND YOUR FUCKING "oh but we were so close and I was so attached and-" FUCK THAT. You were an ADULT. You should have blocked me BACK IN 2019. I DIDN'T NEED CLOSURE. I NEEDED TO BE TALKING TO ANYONE, ANYONE MY AGE. You shouldn't have needed me. I was not capable of fixing you.

You don't realise it, but the effects you had on me were insane. I take melatonin now because YOU used to get mad at me for falling asleep. I hallucinate your voice when I have panic attacks, I dream of you and I sitting alone in a void when it's been a long day. I panic when I don't have my phone on me. Recently I lost it, left it with a friend who then got on a bus with it, and the panic attack I had was HORRENDOUS. I thought I was going to get a message from you, August this year, and miss it and completely fuck everything up.

I have cried over you tirelessly, I have written stories upon notes upon letters to and about you. You have thoroughly ingrained yourself into my head and you just. won't. get. out.

I am working towards getting over it. Leaving my phone at home while going on walks, not bringing chargers to school, putting my phone on do not disturb, completely deleting discord and skype from my computer AND phone. But I don't think I'll ever really escape it. Not before I get out of school anyway.

I will not speak on my relationships with the others, as I respect them far too much for taking action when realizing that what was happening was unhealthy. There is one other alter, however, that I am willing to talk about. Not because of anything bad. Simply because I need to come clean.

K. You know who you are. I don't care if you read this or not, it feels wrong to say it all, but I can't keep myself from saying it. You'll probably never see this, but I think telling you will help in some way toward my healing. Here goes.

So far as I know, I'm aromantic. Romance repulsed. But occasionally, you cross my mind, and I remember how desperately in love with you I was when we knew one another. Enigma always said, "you fixed him!" I think that was very poor wording. I didn't fix you, K. You fixed yourself. All it took was some form of kindness, and you learned to open up. Slowly. I'm so proud of you for that. I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love(d?) you, K.

I sound ridiculous at this point, but you'll never read this, so fuck it. Talking with a very nerdy friend of mine recently, I realised why you got so odd when I promised to braid your hair one day. I don't take it back. If it weren't for how things went, if it were a different time, different circumstance, I would marry you. In a heartbeat, I would let you braid my hair and I would braid yours. I hate to admit it, because I hold so so much resentment in my hands and jaw, but I absolutely would. You were so so special to me and I don't think I could ever be mad at you for what happened. You are the brightest bit of the spots of light in the darkness of my teen years.

I send my respect to JF, who always made me laugh. To PB who always held wonderful conversation. To B, TMM, and THM who made me feel powerful and respected.

Thank you to those in the system who provided me comfort during a very scary time. We should not have known each other in the first place and, to be honest, I don't remember most of you. But you were there and you were not my abuser and I recall snippets of joy from some of you. Thank you. I'm sorry it turned out like this.

K.

[elly373]

dont mind me

[dumbfuckthesecond]

I absolutely love talking about video games and how they’re designed. One issue, no one else i know fucking c a r e s

actually losing my mind im literally waiting for anyone to give me a chance to talk about all this shit that im obsessed with and the second they do i just KNOW im gonna have “OH MY GOD SOMEONE ASKED ME ABOUT MY THEORIES” moment

[astroellipse]

Tired tag vent 😞

[felikatze]

p*rents b lik "i supported u for yrs cuz u r literally legally unable to do so urself, if u dont luv me now u r an ungrateful brat"

[infraaa]

O h

✨F u c k✨

𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐈

affogato cookie x gn!reader

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 • • •

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 • • •

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 • • • ❥❥❥

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 • • •

tw // character injury, graphic violence, implied ptsd episode, slight gore I suppose, and it's just a tad bit suggestive with red velvet in the beginning, but it's nothing too heavy.

【cw // affos goin through it now. It's hella angsty so just a little warning abt that.】

TAKE CAUTION UNDER THE CUT

BOLT!

Cold sweats, panting, clutching his chest… he looked around at his surroundings. It’s light outside and the birds quietly chirped. Looking at his hands did he realize that he only had a nightmare. A bad dream. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he laid back down and turned to hug you… except you weren’t in the bed. He hugged the blankets which made up whatever warmth you left over. “Y/n?” He sheepishly called out. He looked more closely… he made a fool of himself. After realizing you weren’t there, he sat back up and rubbed his eyes. 

Cutting over in the kitchen, you sit at an empty kitchen table with a cup of coffee, when Red Velvet approaches you. He puts his hand on the wood beside you, and the smell of buttercream fills your nose. “I can tell you’re upset.” He says sleepily, his voice still drunk with sleep. He takes a chair and sweeps it backwards and plops down onto it. “Babe.” Red Velvet said in the midst of the stillness. What did he just call you? You turned to him, taking a sip of coffee. Rubbing his lips together with a sharp inhale, he grazed his claws gently on the table. “I think you should talk to him at some point. I get that you’re nervous, you're unsure, you may even be afraid to confront him maybe, but I do recommend that you talk to him about how you feel.” You blinked, settling his words in the peaceful morning silence, and after a second you wrapped your hands around your mug and let your skin embrace its warmth. “What if I don’t want to right now?” “I’m not saying you have to talk to him now, I’m saying at some point.” He paused in the middle of his sentence to confront himself.

He doesn’t want a casual conversation.

It’s seven in the morning. You’re here, he’s here… everyone else as far as you both know are still asleep…

He scoots his chair over a bit to where he’s closer to you.  Putting his arms on the table and resting on them, he continues to pour his blue eyes into yours. You take a drink of your coffee and look back at him. He had a certain look in eyes, something you’ve never seen in him. His eyes looked softer. Was it because he was tired? It had to be. You dismissed this soft puppy dog look he was giving and went to get up when you felt his clawed hand creep onto your fingers, making you freeze in place. You looked back at him with a question in your eyes. “What?” “Talk to me.” Compelled to say no, you took a breath. “I–” You stopped yourself for a second. Was he trying to comfort you? Was he trying to get you to vent to him? Did he just want you here? You slowly sat back down in your seat at the table. Looking at him, you furrowed your eyes. Looking at your phone, you saw the time. 7:05. “About yesterday,” you started, then pausing again to drink your coffee, “did you agree with Licorice?” He took a second to think, his head slowly raising back up from its resting position on his arms.

“I think…” He said. “You think–” “Wait, give me a second.”

Oh so he wasn’t finished.

“I think so, yes. When I met him through my mother, which she just brought him in to fill the hole that Dark Choco made when he made the choice to disband, He seemed… off. I don’t know, he didn’t have the same visions as we did. He wasn’t interested in rebuilding the world like we do, he was interested in claiming it. But he had a very particular way of wanting to achieve that and at first tried to undermine me because of my status at the Tower.” Okay, so this was intriguing. Call Affogato an overachiever, sure. But call others out to get ahead? Seemed normal. Strangers? Huh… You got up for a second, “Here, let me get you some coffee. How do you take it?” He looked up at you. ‘Black. Black and strong as night.” You nodded. “Anyways, what do you mean by ‘undermine you?’” Red Velvet sighed, eyeing you as you stood at the counter getting a mug out of the cabinet. “So… he tried to make himself look like a better person by trying to build a sense of morale or respect… Truth be told, he started with me. I run the tower, I'm responsible for all the cake monsters. He tried to say that I wasn’t a fit leader because of my own visions. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that my mother was always a radical thinker in the light that she just wishes to see Earthbread crumble. I want to make it new, so that there is no segregation. No differences– equality, sameness, you know?” 

His ego is large, what the fuck… and Red didn’t even have to do anything.

“It just sounds like he needs to mind his own business. He can be pretty nosy at times.” “Pretty nosy alright, yeah.” He got up and started walking towards you. “And the whole Creme Republic Incident? He blamed me for not being there when he didn’t even know me at the time.” You started pouring his coffee into his mug when you felt his warm arms drape over the countertop in front of you. You saw his hands and exhaled, feeling the warmth of his body come close to you. “You did, you knew I was there.”

You remembered joining the Cookies of Darkness long before Affogato did. During your training you grew close with Red Velvet as a personal trainer. He saw your growth in his army, and how you treated his cakes. He admired you for your sense of justice and compassion, and if you were there, you managed to soften his sharp edges just a bit. But this also led to you developing a friendship with him outside of work. Your mind raced about the times you two would both sneak out, go hang out in the forests, play with the cakes… you two would always have a good time when you both would hang out, away from everyone else.

You saw his fingers snake around the granite of the countertop slowly, almost like actual snakes stalking down prey. Feeling the push of the air leaving his nose at the crown of your head, and upon looking down you see that his fingers intertwine with each other. His arms have wrapped themselves around your hips, and all the sudden, you could feel your breathing pick up. You turned towards him, his fingers unlocking for a second before moving back to their locked position. “What are you doing?” You asked, hushed…

Don’t wake anyone.

Don’t wake anyone.

Don’t. Wake. Anyone.

“What am I doing?” He asked with a coyish smile. Holy shit. That was the only thing that was racing through your mind. “I like you, that’s what I’m trying to do. With that, he quickly moved his hands to your sides, pulling your body to his, making you gasp. Putting his normal hand then to your cheek you stare at him— wide eyed. “Red… this is wrong, we shouldn’t-“ you said hesitantly, moving one of your hands to his chest. He smiled, closing his eyes for a brief second. “Are you listening to me?” “Of course I am. I know this is wrong…” With a swift move of his hand back down, he kissed your lips– as you lightly took hold of his forearm. You moaned with slight discomfort in the kiss, squeezing at his arm gently.

This is wrong.

This is very wrong.

Letting go of your lips he took your chin in his two normal fingers and lifted your reddened head to look him in the eye. “But you can’t need without a want.” You bore into his eyes with confusion. Sure, Affogato would have these moments with you, quite literally all the time. He was known to be passionate and clingy at times, but his love language was exactly that– acts of service and physical contact. Red Velvet however…

You felt as though in the past you could trust Affogato.

You feel as if now you can trust Red Velvet. 

At this point, your mind is racing. Do you want to continue with this? Do you want to potentially get caught by someone? It would mean utter chaos if Affogato caught you. But with these suffocating thoughts came ones of fire. Setting off firecrackers in your heart and butterflies flying amok in your stomach, it was almost like temptation by the serpent that lended Eve the apple and beckoned to take a bite; just a bite, just a nibble. Just what were your feelings towards Red Velvet?

As you were contemplating this decision, you felt the crimson general lean down to kiss your jawline, then your neck, going down to your shoulders and back up again, taking his hands and slowly going up and down your sides. You took a breath and leaned into him. Was the feeling of pressure and heated passion getting to your head? Like blood rushing up while you would hang upside down? Was it dizzying? Your hand autonomously moved up into his red and black bed hair, leaning into him with a quiet sigh. Recognizing your new twisted sense of consent, he picked you up and placed you on the countertop for easier access. Wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, you could feel his hands creep down underneath your top as he kissed you, feeling at your now warm skin, blushed with rouge. In the heat of the moment did he attempt to lift your top up. You pushed him away to put a finger to his nose. “No no..” You said teasingly. He smirked at you.

God damn. He just won’t behave.

He sure is cute though.

You both resumed and after a few moments you both heard the sound of a door open. Reality came back to greet you with a vengeance as you then reacted fast, a little too fast for Red Velvet’s liking. You quickly pushed him off of you and hopped off the countertop, ushering out of the kitchen as fast as a hare. He looked back at you as you scampered off, scurrying back somewhere. He smiled and put a finger to his bottom lip. He took a drink of his now lukewarm coffee sitting beside the coffee pot as his cerulean eyes took to a lustful sheen. “Red, what the fuck are you doing?” Licorice stood at the entryway to the kitchen with crossed arms. He turned his head to look at the necromancer, daring not to move his body around. “Coffee.” “Yeah whatever, just let me get my tea.” He quickly moved over to go get his morning cup of tea, walking over to a cabinet to get his box of tea sachets when he saw a silhouette in Red’s pants. He gave Red Velvet a disgusted look. “I swear to the fucking witches. Bruh it's too early for this.” He walked off after putting his tea away.

Later on after you quickly showered, getting the scent of Red Velvet off of your body and washing him out of your mouth, you could smell your boyfriend walking into the room, the sweet smell of vanilla and coffee filling your nose. You suddenly felt an immense feeling of heavy guilt and shame. He truly did nothing to you, he didn’t deserve to be cheated on. “Good morning, amour.” He said to you as he hugged you from behind as you put on your body spray. “Good morning dear, watch your nose.” He backed up for you and then as you finished, you could feel him cling back on you. “So, what are the plans for today?” Latte said she wants to go out again, I said I digress, I would rather not waste gas.” You nodded, agreeing with him. Gas sure did cost a pretty penny. “So… staying in?” You asked. He nodded. He looked at you as you finished in the mirror. You wanted nothing more than to get away from him as quickly as you could– the guilt was starting to become overbearing, eating you alive like a parasite. Even the glow of your ring light was making your eyes hurt. Affogato on the other hand looked at you through the mirror.

Say something.

Say. Something, Affogato Cookie.

His knee twitched, and with that he cleared his throat. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.” You looked at him, getting your attention was always easy for him to do. “Sure, what is it–” “Y/N! Breakfast!” You could hear Latte call out. “Oh!” You suddenly looked out the door, and started to head out. “We can talk later, come on.” He put his hand up and smiled politely. “I’m alright… thanks.”

At the dinner table, everyone except Affogato gathered for breakfast. As everyone was eating, Licorice and Red Velvet had finished early and were on their phones. Red got a look from Espresso that read discontent. “Why… why are you on your phone at the table? Put it down, that’s bad table etiquette.” “Blow it out your ass four eyes, Pomegranate Cookie is texting me about Chiffon, my dog. He got an ear infection shortly after I left and I asked Pomegranate to look after him and tell me about any developments.”

A sudden, extremely believable lie.

Espresso shrugged and continued eating. “Oh, the poor puppy!” Latte exclaimed, “I hope your dog gets better!” He only nodded, the reply swooshy sound coming from his phone.

bitch ass motherfucker w a small dick – Today 9:26

『wth was goin on this morning in the kitchen?』

He smirked and started typing again. Licorice’s phone then vibrated on the surface of the table. He checked it.

E-thot man whore w gay highlights – Today 9:26

『you always somehow wanna be in my business where you clearly dont belong smdh anyways since you asked I now have torturer’s rights.』

bitch ass motherfucker w a small dick – Today 9:27

『naur. sTOP.』

E-thot man whore w gay highlights – Today 9:27

『bih naur??? ugly cries anyway i was abt to get some fuck unlike you w your greasy ass hair bfffthahah』

He looked up at Red Velvet with a plain face and he returned the look. “You get on my fucking nerves.”

“Naur? Really Licorice?”

“FUCKING NAUR.”

“NAUR.”

“NAAAAAAURRRR.”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO FUCKING TALKING ABOUT?” Affogato yelled out from the living room. Red snorted under his breath and put his phone in his pocket, dismissing himself from the table before walking behind you and giving you a quick head pat. Affogato walked into the kitchen and saw you and everyone else finishing breakfast. He took Red Velvet’s empty seat at the table, eyeing everyone as they ate. “What was all that?” “Don’t worry about it, they were annoying each other.” Latte said as she finished up. “And me.” Espresso groaned.

The rest of the day went on without incident… however you never spoke to Affogato, leading him into a state of paranoia. He refused to eat after a few days, the pain was killing him. You presumed that he may have wanted space, but that only made it worse in his head. All he wanted was to talk to you. That’s all he wanted really, and the coldness in his bed made him feel weak and useless. He wanted you. You.

You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. 

You were driving him c  r  a  z  y.

At one in the morning, you heard someone crying. Waking up, you opened your bedroom door to see little black, dots on the floor. You lowered down to see what this was, and upon closer inspection it looked like ink from a black pen that busted. Following the little splotches on the floor you were led to the bathroom. The inky like substance gathered at the crack at the door, puddling there. Opening the door, the smell of ink was so… overpowering you covered your nose. It was in the toilet, on the toilet seat, the handles of the sink, the countertop, the shower curtain, the walls…

It was everywhere.

You gently took hold of the bathroom curtain with a concerned look on your face. “Affogato?” You called out, which made him immediately stop crying. Holding his breath, not making a sound, he felt his breath gather up in his chest and throat, making him cough and gargle. You open the shower curtain to see Affogato, his clothes soiled with the black substance from the collar of his shirt down. He was panting– you could see the ink in his teeth. His fingers, straight down to his nails– loosely coated in liquid black as he shook gently, sitting in a now completely stained bathtub with splatters of whiter leaking through the black shiny mass that was this sticky thick liquid. “Oh witches…” you muttered under his breath. “My… my magic… I can’t– I can’t use my abilities anymore.” He whined as he curled up in the bathtub. “Affogato,” you whispered, crouching down carefully, making sure not to slip on the tile floor. “I think you should talk to me–” “I’ve been trying to do that for the past THREE. FUCKING. DAYS.”

He spat the viscous black liquid at you, clearly now in a state of anger. Do you really want to get served now? Oh god, what would he do..?

It had to come out.

“Listen, just listen to me honey…” You tried to reach out to him but he grimaced backwards against the shower wall. “Listen… about… about the day we went to the shopping center, I went with Licorice and Red Velvet, and we went into a winter boutique… he pulled me into the bathroom and he started talking about you.”

Spilling the beans, you could slowly see his eyes widen. He heard all the things about how he was an untrustworthy liar, how he was irresponsible, how he was narcissistic like his mother… god that one hurt like a bitch. He didn’t mind it personally, he’s heard gossip and rumors about him countless times before. But, for Licorice to tell you these things about him, making you avoid him… what if they were lying? What if they didn’t like him anymore?

What if… he wasn’t good enough..?

Do you dare tell him about yesterday morning?

You had to.

“And… yesterday in the kitchen… Red Velvet… um…” You could already see it in his poor off white eyes– his whole childhood was flashing through his eyes. “Oh god, this is gonna piss you off…” You swallowed the large lump in your throat, wondering how you should reword this. His eyebrows began to furl. “Why? Why? Why why why why why whywhywhywhywhywhywh…” he started to murmur to himself as he gripped his hair. “What, y/n what?! WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!”

“I’m trying to think this through, give me a second!” “Think what through?!” 

It came out wrong. He overwhelmed your mind and your senses were clouded with nothing but the stench of xylene and alcohol, and the ink only seemed to seep deeper into your surroundings… manifesting something from the drain of the tub. Small little dark purple and black rivlets of ink started to gather and clot at the base of the drain, thickening into worm like shapes. “He…”

His hands shook as he started to let out this blood curdling scream, sending you back against the now closed bathroom door, slamming shut and knocking the back of your head.

“You will never amount to anything. You are a worthless child, and I will always blame you for why your father left for that goddamn waste of space whore…”

And after a few seconds of silence, the door busted back open, this time with a very concerned Latte, Espresso, Licorice, and Red Velvet waiting behind it. As soon as he saw Red Velvet and Licorice, his eyes suddenly filled with rage… and the room, the room started to fill with this dark mauve lavender smoke as he began to cough violently, spitting up ink from his cried out throat, dying of heat and burning from the chemicals. Hissing could be heard, and a large worm-like entity rose out of the smog, purple glowing eyes staring back at you and the others hungrily, fueled by the same rage that its host held. It picked him up slightly, allowing him to slightly levitate off the surface of the bathtub. Smaller snakes similar to the large one slithered out of the bathtub, hissing as they did so. A few snakes stayed behind and latched themselves to Affogato’s shoulders.

And after the smog cleared and his coughing subsided, the lot of you backed away… terrified of the figure that was floating before them. Focused on Red Velvet’s form solely, slithering out of the bathtub with the mercy of the large serpent behind him, hissing like a bomb about to go off… and that’s what Affogato has become– a ticking time bomb about to explode…

“REEEED VELVEEEEET!”

Launching out of the bathroom, the lot of you separated like ants. Red Velvet took you by the arm and quickly charged upstairs. “GET A FUCKING GUN, GET A GUN RED, HE’S LOST HIS MI-” “Ohhhh…. Oh Licorice! Don’t think you aren’t gonna get it either!” The large serpent summons Affogato’s staff out of its mouth, purple slime emitting from its tongue, covering it in the gooey substance that was similar to the inkblot that was created in the bathroom. With maniacal laughter, he slammed down on the ground with his newly found staff, spears stabbing down at the wooden floor, cracking as the ink pours in the hole, summoning a torrent of snakes. The shockwave of the small blast that his staff made upon impact of the floor sent Licorice backwards, falling onto the sofa, and as soon as he was trying to get up, he saw the tip of the longest spear at the end of the staff at his chest, prodding at the fabric and the very miniscule fibers of his clothes. But before he could plunge his staff into Licorice’s chest, he felt a hard bonk to his shoulder, briefly sending the large serpent back on its side for a brief moment before it stood back up with a slight grunt. He turned, only to see his youngest sister wielding a baseball bat in her hands, teary eyed as she tried to hit the large serpent again, but missed in the process, only hitting Affogato’s staff instead.

“NICE SHOT!”

 The purple swirls at the top of his staff were stained black, no longer emitting the purple sheen that it once did. “Latte Cookie, watch out!” Espresso exclaimed as he toppled his older sister before she could be hit by his staff. “You alright?” She nodded, shaking slightly. They both look up at the now corrupted cookie, while then for a second, Espresso looks back towards Red Velvet Cookie, who came back down the stairs with you in one arm and a gun in the other. “WHAT DID YOU DO?” Espresso yelled out. “I have no idea!” 

“FEEL MY WRAAAATH! AAAAA HAHAHAHAHA!”

Slamming his staff down onto the ground, he conjures up even more snakes, and they slither to find their way towards Licorice Cookie’s legs, slithering around them and leaving a nasty train of black inky slime behind, tying Licorice down and rendering him unable to move. He tried to do the same with Red Velvet Cookie, but was rendered unsuccessful when he swatted away the pesky little snakes with the barrel of the gun. 

“Wait, I think I know what’s wrong with him!” Latte said as she hurriedly moved over towards Licorice Cookie. Espresso Cookie followed her close behind, urging you and Red Velvet Cookie to follow suit. Suddenly, Latte Cookie used a shield to protect the lot of you as you bunched up in your little group. A brown and cream colored book then came to her as it opened, flipping through pages. “I think this is something called an overblot.” Espresso looked over his older sister’s shoulder with curiosity. “Overblot? The… the heck is a-an overblot?” “Licorice choked out through the grasp of the snake, coughing. You quickly tried to untangle the snakes from Licorice’s body, only for them to multiply and hiss at you. “An overblot… according to this passage,” Latte started as she flipped through pages, regaining her place in the book and sliding her finger down the off white page, “is a type of monster that births from a magic user that overuses their magic to the point of it becoming unstable,” she read, “magic users normally overblot due to many factors, however a few signature causes include trauma, extreme stress, or an excess in negative energy blotting something called a “magic wand.” Each overblot monster has an attached entity in which it takes representation of the overblot monster, often in the form of a person or an animal.” Affogato screamed as he hit away at the shield that formed above you with his staff in an attempt to break it, hitting away at it again and again… not stopping for anything. Red Velvet held you with the gun in his hands belting you to him by your stomach. “How the hell do we stop him?!” Latte than frantically flipped through the paragraphs on the page, looking up to see small cracks in the shield she formed, spreading outward with each hit like gentle glass breaking.

“We… we have to wait for his magic to deplete completely… but we can help this go by quicker by… fighting him. The more magic he uses, the quicker it will deplete. And no, Red Velvet, you’re not shooting my brother.” Well, someone told me to go get a gun–” 

“I have no need for siblings like you, who have failed to protect me and stand by me, and your flaws give me ADEQUATE cause… to send you lot to the ENDS OF EARTH TO ROT!” With one final hit, the shield broke, shattering into itty bitty pieces around and on you, leaving micro cuts on your skin. You saw sickened eyes, eyes of white surrounded in a deep sclera sea of black, ink dripping from his lower lashline like mascara running. A smile from ear to ear as he laid eyes on his targets, Red Velvet and Licorice Cookie… and then his siblings… and last… maybe even you. “Red Velvet, I need you to use the gun to untangle Licorice so he can help; us with his magic! For now, Latte and I will hold Affogato off.” Red Velvet nodded, and while keeping you close, he turned the safety of the gun off and cocked it, shooting each snake, watching them wither into puddles of black ink, staining Licorice’s cloak. “Don’t shoot me!” Licorice yelled.

Espresso and Latte had a pair of catalysts that floated next to them, using their respective magic against Affogato to repel him away to aid Red Velvet in getting Licorice free. When Coffee and Latte magic collide, the effects of the collision are almost monstrous in heat and intensity. Beams of coffee and milk surrounded Affogato, trying to strain him of movement, entrapping him in a circle of Solomon. “Now! Go! He can’t move!” Red Velvet urged, pulling Licorice up on his feet. Summoning his scythe, his dead, pale colored eyes bleated as they bore into Affogato’s distraught form. “Now! Come forth, my servants!” Standing behind the two coffee siblings, he slammed his scythe down on the floor, summoning a legion of shadowy, goopy creatures with glowing gold eyes that seemed to be at Licorice’s command. “Go forth, my beasts!” He yelled, gesturing to them to attack Affogato, and at the simple command did they charge forward in small groups in different directions, from the left, right and center… all to surround Affogato in the coff like key that held him in place..

But that only lasted for a brief moment when a torrent of ink spilled through the circle, trying to slow the licorice creatures in their mini stampede of sorts. The little minions however broke some parts of the circle in an effort to intercept Affogato, climbing onto his ankles to hold him down. “Everyone! Go!” Licorice yelled, Latte and Espresso stepped back, catalysts still in hand as they tried to repel Affogato using their own respective magic spells, however, that only did so much to him. With the two siblings and the licorice minions, the small snakes started fighting off the minions one by one, biting down on them and paralyzing them. The snakes would absorb the magic from the minions, which would replenish Affogato of his dark magic. He suddenly began to cackle, a deep cackle as he shot his staff outward, a large lavender beam coming from it. It split in two and managed to hit both Espresso and Latte with incredible force, sending them out of the cabin into the snowy yard outside with rough crashes onto the frozen ground.

He turned over to the necromancer at his very right, who beckoned you to go out to help the coffee siblings outside. Red Velvet stepped forward, gun in hand as he directed the barrel and chamber to the floor. “Affogato, please snap out of it!” Red Velvet yelled out, “we know you’re in pain right now, you’re in severe psychological distress and we get it, but at least–” “Why should I hold back anymore?! You tried to take the ONLY THING, the ONLY COOKIE in my life that seemed to matter to me, and YOU… tried to tear me and them APART!

“I WILL NO LONGER BE STOLEN FROM!”

The snakes charged at Red Velvet first, causing him to shoot at the snakes, which did some harm to Affogato. Licorice summoned more of his minions, then looked at how the snakes acted. His eyes widened all the sudden, as things started to clear up. The snakes acted as mini conduits of energy and magic that replenish Affogato! And they all seemed to be born from…

“The glass snake behind him… that’s it!” Licorice shouted, alerting Red Velvet next to him. “We have to destroy the snake behind Affogato!” Red Velvet smiled, aiming his gun at it to take a shot. However, upon shooting the snake, the bullet only seemed to ricochet off the glass into a window. “The glass that makes up the snake looks like it’s bulletproof!” Red Velvet shouted.  “A simple bullet will not be able to break the glass!” Suddenly, Affogato took his staff and swung it at Licorice’s head, swiftly sending him into the entertainment center. Screaming he put his hand to his hand only to see blood riveting out onto his pale fingers. Fresh blood dripped from the newly found spikes adorning the sides of the staff. Red Velvet attempts to shoot the glass snake again, making the dark cookie cry out in pain. The second bullet would ricochet into the television on the wall. But… the second bullet left a tiny, very fine crack. His eyes widened as he went over to protect Licorice who sat on the floor, bleeding heavily. “Affogato, stop!” He smiled manically and raised his staff high in the air, preparing to swing at Red Velvet, cornering him against the other injured cookie. Perfect timing… you, Espresso, and Latte entered the cabin, slightly reddened and bruised from the snow, and saw the state of the two cookies against the entertainment center. “THE SNAKE!” Red Velvet yelled, “YOU HAVE TO BREAK–” Affogato swung roughly at Red Velvet, cutting him off and sending him into a violent scream. Stopping for a second, he started to giggle once more, he descended into insane laughter and started to bludgeon the two cookies under him, the snakes taking over their bodies to absorb their blood and strength. “STOP HIM!” Espresso yelled. The three of you attempted to intercept Affogato from three sides, with Espresso taking the snake in a chokehold and performing a boiling spell on it. Then, he noticed the fine crack.

“Latte, get the baseball bat you had!” She looked up to her younger brother who was in the process of heating the glass of the snake in an attempt to enlarge the crack. “The glass…” you muttered. “Red Velvet was trying to shoot the glass. We have to break the glass of the snake! Latte, you can use your magic to aid Espresso in heating the layers of the glass!” Espresso shook his head. “No, we have to use a lot more force to break the glass. Our magic can only do so much!” You ran off with Latte to get some bats, while Espresso stayed behind, jumping off to hit the snake with a beam of coffee magic, making Affogato wince. Summoning more snakes out of inky puddles, they slithered quickly towards Espresso Cookie, who levitated off the floor with his catalyst. The snakes gripped at the tail of his cape with their fangs, Flipping through the pages, he smiled at Affogato, who was prepping his staff once more. “Oh, so you wish to go down with them, little brother?” He asked, his voice laden with poisonous intent. “That voice… so familiar. So bitter…!” Espresso expressed as he shot a torrent of coffee beans in Affogato’s direction, pinning him up against the wall, like small needles. His eyes focused in on the crown  of the snake’s head, preparing to shoot a beam of magic at it when all the sudden, Affogato charged forward and suspended his younger brother to a window, holding him by the neck with his staff. The snakes start to slither up the wall, closing in on Espresso’s head.

“You've always tried to outsmart me, always tried to get me into trouble, frame me for things you obviously did, made my life hell and you always got away with it like you’re so much better than me… you have no right to disrespect me any further… matter of fact…” Using the staff to forcefully lift Espresso’s chin upward painfully, the snakes blinded him, sliding over his eyes. “You won’t be able to harm me any further… you’ll be dead.”

“Nice thought!”

SLAM!

[alphabetbill]

Bill Skarsgard Alphabet- Your relationship with Bill

Here’s a list from A-Z about what your relationship with Bill would be like.

A list of headcannons of what Bill x reader’s relationship.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Note- If one of the letters is flagged with an asterixis * it means it is slightly suggestive or NSFW. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A- Affection

Bill is actually quite affectionate with you, always preferring to have one arm around you shoulders when sitting on the couch together, holding your hand, quick kisses on the head, cheek and shoulder. Warm hugs from behind, with Bill resting his chin on your head. He likes to reassure himself by being in the comfort of your company, and it always feels so strange when he’s away from you filming on set. He likes to cuddle a lot when he wants to relax and unwind, because Bill is a pretty busy dude so whenever he can get the chance to sit back and rest with you, it’s usually on the bed taking a quick power nap before it’s back to it again.

B- Buying gifts

Bill isn’t really big on receiving big fancy gifts, because really, what would he need them for? You are the same. He does make sure to stop at each place on his press tours and pick out a souvenir to bring home to you. He also likes bringing home little props or souvenirs from set. You still have the little Pennywise teddy he got you sitting over on your desk. The little red pom-pom nose and the orange yarn fluffy hair is so adorable. 

C- Comfort

When you are feeling down or sad, Bill can nearly always pick up on it straight away. He has a way with reading people’s emotions and then employing the method of comfort that would best suit the situation. If you want to talk, he will listen, and if you want to be left alone, he will do that, but not for too long.

He’ll check up on you every so often through the day just to make sure you’re okay. Bill’s warm, gigantic hugs and reassuring kisses always manage to make you feel a bit better. When it’s Bill whose feeling off, you let him talk. Bill isn’t the kind of guy to be able to keep things bottled up for a long period of time because it tends to make him feel tired and weighed down, and that’s not a fun time for either of you. You always listen to him when he vents everything he’s feeling, usually with his head in your lap and you playing with his hair or his hands.

D- Date 

Bill would be a chill, relaxing type of guy when it comes to dates. He knows that you don’t want to be doing something big and exciting every single time, that would be tiring. He loves taking you out for dinner, but he loves making dinner for you and setting up a romantic little dinner date out on the porch or terrace, and surprising you. Often, dates between you two will be completely out of the blue. ‘Hey, want to go somewhere?’ ‘Hey lets go for a picnic by the beach’.

On the days when you guys do feel like doing something more adventurous, the zoo tends to be the fan favourite, and you also like to go skiing, and hiking to see new places and things.

E- Encouragement/Excitement 

You are both very supportive of each other and your professions, so much so that as soon as the other person catches a whiff of success, you are there to celebrate with each other by any means. You and Bill like to hype each other up and get all excited when the other person gets excited, almost as if your happiness is conjoined. You are always excited for Bill’s new projects, and support him through it all the way up until it’s completed and ready for the world to see. 

F- Fighting

Bill likes to avoid conflict, especially if it involves any kind of yelling and screaming at you, someone he loves. He doesn’t believe that yelling helps at all, infact it only makes matters worse, and instead of actually getting the other person to listen to them, it only makes them more mad and they keep on yelling when no one is actually listening. He doesn’t like yelling at you because it feels almost violent, and he doesn’t want to scare you into listening to him. He’s aware of how intimidating he looks when he’s mad. He encourages the both of you to instead sit down and talk about things maturely, talking about how he feels and why he feels that way, and always attentively listening to what you have to say as well. It’s important in the relationship that you have a sense of equality, that both go heard and your opinions both valued. From then on, depending on the severity of the argument, you move on to figure out the best solution to moving past it or around it. 

G- Gestures

Bill is big on friendly, helpful little gestures to remind you that he loves you. You both like to leave little notes in places for each other to find, with quotes or reassurances written on them like ‘You can do this!’ ‘I love you!’ ‘You look amazing today’. It gives you guys a little confidence boost, because sometimes you both need it. In terms of physical gestures, Bill likes to hold your hand a lot of the time when you walk, almost as if you might wander off and get lost if he lets go. He also likes to buy you flowers. If he sees a bunch of flowers in the shop window from the corner of his eye, and he instantly thinks of you, he will buy them for you. You aren’t really sure what use you would have for flowers, but you absolutely admire the sweet gesture.

H- How you sleep

It’s no secret that Bill is a very tall and lanky person. Because of this, sometimes its hard for him to find just the right position to sleep it, however he has learned to adjust and adapt to any position or place to make it feel comfortable. He lays on his back a lot of the time and pulls you close to him, either tucked up beside him with your arm across his torso, or with your head on his chest or heart while he plays with your hair.

You both talk for hours, and will stay up until you fall asleep mid conversation. It’s funny when Bill will be talking, and he goes to ask you a question, and he finds you fast asleep beside him. ‘Seriously? Did you just fall asleep on me? Were you listening to any of that?”

I- Impression

When Bill was first introduced to you, he thought you were so gorgeous and beautiful, with that amazing smile and beautiful eyes. He is a bit nervous at the best of times, but you made him particularly nervous. He always was conscious over the way he spoke to you and how he appealed to you. He’s had a giant crush on you since the day he met you, and knew instantly that if he didn’t do something to make you his, he would never be the same.

Your impression of him was similar. You could not believe such a handsome guy was standing right there talking to you! He made you feel a bit self-conscious, and you couldn’t form a single coherent sentence in your mind without feeling overwhelmingly flushed by him standing next to you, or ‘accidentally’ brushing up against you.

J- Jokes

Are you and Bill a playful or more serious couple?

You two are able to maintain a healthy balance of both playful and serious. You like to tease each other a lot, particularly about the height difference, and Bill’s unholy inhuman tallness. You always joke to him about how secretly Bill must have been born in a zoo to a giraffe and then dropped in Sweden by accident. 

You both know when to be serious though, and understand that not everything can be all fun and games. If someone isn’t feeling great, you can learn to adjust and turn the jokes down to make sure they are okay.

K- Kids

Bill would absolutely love to have kids with you, ideally two, not anywhere near as many as how many his parents had. He wants to be able to spread his fatherly love between children and make time for them both equally, and adore them as much as he adores you. 

L- Love 

What does Bill love the most about you? 

Physically, Bill is in love with two things- your smile and your hair. Both of these things are the two things that he thinks are flawlessly, effortlessly perfect every single time he sees you, even if you wake up in the morning with a serious case of bedhead. But Bill loves everything about you, most of all how supportive you are, and how you are always there for him even if you don’t have to be.

M- Memory/moment

Your favourite memory of you and Bill together is how it felt when he kissed you for the first time. You remember all the tingling feelings, and how excited and nervous you were, but happy that this was finally happening. 

Bill’s favourite memory is when you said yes to going out with him for the first time. He felt so accomplished and happy with himself, like if he could get the girl, he could do anything. He remembers feeling surprised that you said yes, and how scared he was that you would turn him down and tell him you weren’t interested in him in that way. 

*N- Nudes

Usually, if you do send them, it’s when Bill is away in Toronto filming a movie and he’s missing you. You both tend to flirt over text more than you do in real life.

O- Optimist level

You and Bill are both optimistic and realistic. You can see both the good side of things and the bad.

P- Period

When you are on your period, Bill knows instantly that it’s gonna be a pretty crappy time for you, so he tries to make it as least crappy as possible. He has a basket of chocolate reserved just for you on the days when it’s bad, and stays home with you all day cuddling and watching movies. If you are in a significant amount of pain, he will do most practical things for you like house work. He’s very sweet and caring for you, running to the store to get products and shamelessly carrying them. Anything for you, he’s not embarrassed, he knows that it’s a normal thing and it should be normalized for boyfriends to buy their girlfriends products. 

Q- Quality Time- how do you spend it?

You and Bill spend all the time you can possibly get with each other. All the time is quality time with you guys, and Bill makes time to set aside his work or script reading to spend time with you. He’s away for long periods of time, so he wants to make sure that he can spend enough time with you to make up for that, and make sure that you know he loves you.

R- Romantic- how much of a romantic are they?

Oh. Bill is romantic. He especially likes to wine and dine with you, making the whole setting perfect just for you. He manages to make everything romantic, everything he does, and you aren’t sure if he’s doing it on purpose or whether that’s just him as a person.

*S- Sex

You and Bill do it often, but its not seen as something at the top of importance between you. You prefer to spend time talking together and just enjoying each other’s company, rather than getting all physical. That kind of intimacy is done in the bedroom every couple of days or so, or really whenever you feel the need to. It’s important to also note that Bill is very respectful about it, and always makes sure that whatever he does you are comfortable with.

Anywhere outside the privacy of the bedroom for him always feels so awkward, and he likes both of you to be comfortable.

T- Trust

You trust Bill with your life, and he trusts you too. You feel safe opening up to him and telling him things that you normally wouldn’t tell people. You know that he would never cheat on you, and don’t get easily jealous by girls that he kisses or fake hooks up with in movies. You know that this is all staged and it is a part of acting, and always makes sure that Bill knows that it’s okay.

U- Understand

You and Bill understand each other very well. There are of course some things that you don’t get about each other, like why you like certain foods that do not go together, why you believe something, things like that. You think alike in terms of the way you look at life, and how you see the world. You feel like you guys just get each other, y’know?

V- Vulnerability 

Bill is very open with you about how he feels, and you are to him as well. If he’s sad or upset he will tell you and talk about it. He isn’t afraid that crying will make him seem less of a man, and also doesn’t judge you when you cry around him. Bill is a sap and definitely cries in sad scenes of movies. 

W- Wedding- What would your ideal wedding be?

Bill would want it to be fantastic and memorable, as I’m sure everyone would. His family and friends would be there and so would yours. It would be an outdoors wedding beneath the sunshine- provided it doesn’t rain. You would most likely go on a honeymoon to somewhere you have both always wanted to go, and it would be an amazing, relaxing get away.

*X- X-rated

Does Bill have any kinks? 

Most likely no, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t down to try new things with you.

Y- Young and beautiful- how long will you guys last?

As far as Bill is concerned, you will have children, grandchildren, and get old together. You are gorgeous now, and you will always be gorgeous to him. He is big on committing to you, and you are to him. 

Z- Zing!

How much excitement is there in your relationship? 

You guys are always adapting and adjusting to Bill being away and all kinds of things that life might throw at you. It’s pretty exciting dating an actor, isn’t it?

The thrill of secrecy and not getting caught. You often like to make bets on who will be noticed in a crowd first, you or him?

Life is just full of wonders and mystery, and you can’t wait to explore more of those together!

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Note- I am aware that Skarsgard is supposed to be written with an accent on the last A, but I write these lists on my laptop and the keyboard does not have an option for that. 

Thank you for reading! It took me a little while to put this A-Z list together and I would appreciate if you left a like, a comment or whatever you can to help me out. 

Want to request a Bill Skarsgard A-Z list? With your own prompt, and your desired character?

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[dadsbongos]

you're (not) useless

Dynamic: Izuku Midoriya/Reader (+ bakusquad) Warnings: vent? kinda? more like make-shift therapy, self-loathing/doubt, fem reader Summary: You aren’t sure why Izuku was ever friends with you. Just hope what makes him hate you isn’t the shadow you despise. Word Count: 4.9 K ~~~

“You’re a useless shadow…”

“That’s rude,” the shadow frowns at your words with a thin sliver of sunlight where the mouth should be drawing downwards.

You settle on the sand underneath the slide, pulling your knees to your chest and hugging them there, “I came over here to hide from you, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” it sounds so sad, “You don’t know how shadows work, do you? They change position based on where the sun is.”

“So when will you go away?”

The eyes, despite only being two circles of sunlight within the shadow, hold despair at your words, “I didn’t ask to be here. You’re so mean.”

“You’re always bothering me,” you cover your ears and shut your eyes, “Go away.”

You knew your Quirk wouldn’t allow the shadow to disappear. You didn’t like that, how it always followed you. Mirroring your actions and hearing every word, it was so unfair. You just wish it would go away.

Maybe you were being unfair, taking out your frustration on the shadow, but you didn’t like it watching you. The shadow’s frown grew more evident, “You’re not fun. Let’s go play.”

“I don’t want to,” you mutter, clasping your hands tighter over your ears, “Leave me alone.”

“Fine,” it sighs.

You look away, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing it’s frown.

Under the circumstances of you following the shadow’s wish and going to play with the others they’d only shun you. They hated the way your shadow watched and mimicked, too. Perhaps, even more than you did.

“Have you always put more faith in what others have thought of you than what you yourself think?” it asks.

“Shut up…”

“They only dislike me because they refuse to understand us. You know that, don’t you?”

“Shut up.”

“One day, you will be all alone with only me to keep you company. More so than now. You know that, so why do you fight me?”

“Shut up!”

“Do you truly think I’m the bad guy? Do you truly hate me? Do you truly hate yourself?”

“Please, stop…”

“There isn’t a fate worse than ours if you keep this up. Hiding won’t get us anywhere.”

You knew that.

“Please, don’t run from me. I’m you. Just a different version.”

“You don’t know me,” you’re angry with it now.

“You don’t let me know you. You keep things vague because you’re scared. Why are you scared?” its angry with you now.

You don’t respond.

“You’re cruel.”

Maybe you are.

You’re being unfair.

But everyone else was so unfair first.

It isn’t your fault.

You aren’t the bad guy.

You just want to be alone.

A trio of boys find you under the slide. The lead, the blond, picks up some sand and tosses it at you, “You’re the weird girl, aren’t you?”

One of his friends leans over as if to whisper, “I hear her shadow’s a monster!”

The other one nods, “It eats the kids she doesn’t like!”

“No, it doesn’t…” you don’t know why you bother defending yourself.

“It’s evil!” one of them shouts, kicking up more sand at you.

The blond is laughing while his friends kick sand at you.

“You should stand up for yourself,” it comes back at you when you least need it.

“Shut up,” you rub at your eyes, trying to keep sand out of them.

“Hey! It talks!” the blond points out, “Freak!” now he points at you, “Freak! Freak!”

“Stand up for yourself,” it's practically pleading, “This is pathetic. Stand up for yourself.”

“Freak!”

“Freak!”

“Freak!”

“Freak!”

“Freak!”

“Freak!”

“Do something!”

“I won’t,” you whisper, “Just leave me alone. All of you.”

The blond pushes you to the ground, “Freak!”

“Leave me alone…”

“Do something, please?!”

“Freak!”

“Shut up…”

“Freak!”

“Defend yourself!”

“Quiet!”

“Freak!”

“Do something!”

“Freak!”

“Shut up!”

“Freak!”

“Do something!”

“Freak!”

“For once in our life, do something!”

Your hand shoots out and locks at the blond’s ankle, nails cutting crescents into his pale skin. Ink black soaks into the skin there and you can tell it burns by the way his eyes begin to water but before he can scream there’s another boy that shoves him away.

This one has green curls and freckles dotting his cheeks like stars.

“Kacchan, leave her alone!”

The black on the blond’s skin fades into a minor circular reddened spot, as if he’d been branded. You get to sit up when the other two boys rush over to the green one and tug him to the ground.

“You did well,” the shadow smiles faintly, “I’m really proud of you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” you brush sand from your hair and clothes before going to where the boy that saved you is being ganged up on. Settling a hand on the main one’s shoulder, you pull at his shirt, “Hey… leave him alone…”

“Don’t touch me!” the blond shoves you off and you can just barely hear the trembling terror in his voice, “Monster!”

The three run off, leaving the boy beaten in the sand and you extend a hand to him, “Hey…”

His eyes widen upon seeing you, “Hi…”

Your gaze flickers from the boy to your hand, you shake out the appendage a bit, “Do you want help getting up or not?”

“Oh, sorry,” he rushes to take your hand and pull himself up with your help.

Once he’s standing, you look over at where the three boys are running off to a black-haired woman staring at her phone.

“Thanks…”

He hums at the sentiment, as if he couldn’t fathom it, before nodding, “Kacchan does that a lot.”

“‘Kacchan’?”

“I call him Kacchan. Everyone else calls him ‘Bakugou’.”

“Okay,” you look to your shadow and see that it's still smiling, “You can go now. If you want.”

He turns to an apartment complex just by the park and thumbs at it, “My house is right there, my mom could clean us up and we could play heroes. Just by ourselves. If you want?”

“You should go,” the shadow encourages, and you know the boy can hear it.

Your face heats up at that and you turn to your shadow with furrowed brows, “Shut up.”

“It’s okay!” the boy cuts back in, a smile bright on his face, “I don’t mind at all.”

You nod slowly.

“We should go. It’d be fun.”

You purse your lips before nodding once again, “Okay.”

“My name is Midoriya, Izuku, by the way,” he offers a grin somehow brighter than the last.

Your lips twitch up carefully, giving back only a fraction of what you’d received.

“Tell him our name,” your shadow reminds, “Don’t be rude.”

“Oh, right,” you follow after Izuku as he turns and begins walking, “My name…”

Izuku’s mother frets when she sees you both walk in through the front door. Her hands come to gently cradle her son’s cheeks before turning to you with a downcast of her face, “Aw, poor things, how’d this happen?”

“Some boys on the playground,” Izuku’s careful to avoid mentioning the ‘Kacchan’ he’d told you of earlier, “It’s alright, Mom, we’re okay.”

She’s hesitant to nod to her son’s words, “Do your parents know where you are, honey?”

“Yeah,” your shadow frowns at the lie but doesn’t say anything.

“Here,” she extends her hand for you, “let’s get you cleaned up, okay, sweetie?”

“Okay…”

While gently dabbing rubbing alcohol to your scrapes, the woman tilts her head upon noticing the two circles and upturned line of light in your second body, “Hey, your shadow’s got a face! Isn’t that fun?”

“It’s part of my Quirk,” you sound glum when you say it so she only nods and leaves it at that.

She’s become a bit too familiar with what happens when you raise too many questions about a child’s Quirk.

By the time you’re bandaged up, it’s almost three in the afternoon and you’re sure your parents will start worrying soon.

“I can’t play heroes,” you murmur to Izuku, head bent to keep your eyes locked on the ground, “Sorry.”

“It’s alright, really!” he shakes his head, “We can play another time! Can’t we, Mom?”

“If it’s all right with her parents, I don’t see why not,” Inko shrugs.

Izuku seems to light up at that, same as your shadow does,

“We’d love to!”

“Nobody was talking to you…” you huff to your shadow, “Thanks, Midoriya. I can ask my Mom about it. If that’s okay?”

“That should work out, sweetheart,” Inko steps forward, putting on her shoes, “Do you know your way home from the park?”

You nod.

“Great,” Inko waves over her son, “we’ll walk you home, okay?”

Your mother looks relieved when she sees you but hides it well. She’s always been petrified of being seen as a poor mother and maybe that’s why she doesn’t admit to having just had a panic attack over your location.

“Oh, and you’ve made a friend!” she cheers.

“He’s nice,” your shadow pitches in.

“Shut up,” you hiss.

“Hey,” it’s barely even a snap at you to stop being rude to your shadow. Your mother takes you by the shoulder and brings you inside before flashing Inko a smile, “Thank you for bringing her home.”

“Oh, of course,” Inko waves off before putting up a finger as if to say she’d just had the thought, “The kids had wanted a playdate again sometime, if it’s all okay with you, we could exchange numbers and set that up?”

Any concern or upset your mother previously had about your whereabouts was replaced by the news that you’d actually gone and made a legitimate friend that wanted to have you back around. She nods and excitedly pats you towards the living room before asking you to bring her phone.

Nighttime is your only peace. When the darkness overtakes your shadow and no face can be found for its grinding voice to pierce your ears. You like to enjoy that peace for as long as you can before slumber’s lullaby takes you. And in that nighttime lonesome, you come to your own conclusion that you like Izuku. You really do.

And you end up spending a lot of time with Izuku. A lot of times where you defend each other from other children. On the brightside, you suppose, your shadow takes a lot of attention away from Izuku’s Quirklessness - it’s comforting to know your shadow is good for something.

“You want to go to U.A?” you question Izuku as soon as you hear him mention the entrance exam.

From the other end of the call, you hear Izuku sigh, “Yeah, they got rid of that policy about Quirkless people not being able to try or get in, so I figured I would.”

“Well, good luck,” something Izuku found himself appreciating in that moment about you was your blunt way of speaking at times - it was always honest. Not in the way his mother, as much as he did love her, would tell sweet, small lies to put him to bed.

“Do you believe in me?”

“Yeah,” he liked the way you didn’t hesitate, “I do, Izuku. I think that if anyone has it in them to be a hero, it’s you. U.A would be made of idiots to not let you in.”

“You really think that?” you can hear the smile in his voice.

“Of course, I do.”

“Well, you know, I think you could be a hero, too,” he’s tried this many times before, convincing you to apply to U.A.

“Izuku, U.A isn’t made for people like me. I wouldn’t be a very good hero.”

“Sure you would!” your shadow and Izuku pipe up at the same time.

You shake your head, “I’ll think about it.”

“Alright, I can take that,” you can hear Izuku’s fingers tapping at his desk over the phone, “Mom needs help with dinner so I have to go.”

“Okay, tell her I say ‘hi’.”

“Will do. Talk to you later.”

“See ya.”

You know Katsuki’s applying to U.A as well, and while you may hate the guy - you know he’s skilled far beyond his years and has a flashy Quirk. U.A would be an absolute laughing stock if he followed through to the exams and they turned him down.

With Katsuki and Izuku there, it’d be like a repeat of the miserable life Izuku’s already trying to leave behind - especially if you weren’t there to prevent anything. Maybe you should apply, for Izuku’s sake.

“Are you thinking of going?” your shadow’s smiling.

You don’t mind it so much now. Or rather, you can have a decent conversation with it now.

“Yeah. I probably should. Izuku might need me.”

“You should go because you want to,” the shadow frowns.

“Why are you upset?” your eyes narrow at it, “You don’t have to turn this into a fight. You always do this.”

Well, partially decent anyway.

“I don’t want you to be miserable there if you and Izuku have a falling-out.”

“We won’t.”

“You’re so dependent on him. He’s nice and all, but you should make more friends this year if you go. Maybe you should try leaning into the courses if you go, you might enjoy heroics.”

“Izuku and I won’t fight, you stupid shadow. We’re best friends, he puts up with you. We won’t fight.”

“Fall-outs don’t always happen over fights, you know? What if he gets too caught up in classes or his other friends? You know how Izuku gets. He doesn’t mean to, but he’s forgetful at times.”

“It’s Midoriya, to you.”

“He said I could call him Izuku,” it’s frown gets deeper and it feels like the eyes sag with disappointment at you, “Why do you hate me still?”

“You’re annoying, and other people hate you. That’s why our only friend is Izuku in the first place.”

“It isn’t my fault.”

“Yes, it is. It always has been,” you shake your head, “You rotten thing.”

Decent more so meaning you don’t tell the shadow to simply be quiet when it speaks.

“You’re so distant even from me, and I’m supposed to be you.”

“My copy. We aren’t the same. You don’t even have a detailed face.”

You can’t stand that shadow much.

But you go with it to the entrance exams for U.A all the same.

“I’m glad you decided to come,” Izuku grins, practically bouncing in his steps to where the auditorium is, “I hope we get into the same class.”

You nod, looking up at the sky to judge the sun’s position in it, “I’m just shocked you developed a Quirk so late. I’d never really heard of that.”

“Oh, yeah, it was really weird, huh?” he chuckles but sounds nervous, and you choose to not mention it.

Luckily for Izuku, you manage to get into 1-A with him following the entrance exam. Thanks to your Quirk of turning things to shadow, it was easy enough to pass. He’s talking your ear off while you two are walking to class and you don’t mind at all - ironically, considering that’s exactly what you hate about your shadow.

“I hope Kacchan isn’t in our class,” he mutters.

“Don’t forget that big guy from the introduction that hated you,” you point out.

“Right, how could I forget?” he sighs and tilts his head to one side, “Hope he isn’t there either.”

“I bet they’re both in here,” you press your palm to the door and push it open.

“Oh wow,” your shadow is grinning broadly, “so many people! So lively!”

“Quiet before you scare them off, then,” you may not be the most interested in making friends but you know it wouldn’t be in your best interest to show off your chatty shadow so soon.

Where there is the usual insult to your cruel-nature, there’s silence.

Good.

“Wow, does your shadow talk?!”

You turn to see a girl with rosy cheeks and brown hair, she’s pointing down at the blotch of darkness on the ground.

“And it has a face?”

“Yeah,” you head inside the classroom while you speak, “it tends to do that.”

“Sorry about her…” Izuku apologizes for you like you do your shadow. As if he’s ashamed to be associated with you. He’d never done that before.

Why would he do that?

“Hey, shadow-face!”

“Don’t call me that,” you grimace at the blond who’d pointed at your shadow, “It sounds like an insult.”

“Oh, my bad!” he chuckles, “Name’s Kaminari! What’s yours?”

“Uh,” your body feels stiff at the question and you debate whether or not to pretend you somehow didn’t hear it. You don’t appreciate the way your shadow makes the decision for you.

“It talks!”

“I do,” your shadow cheers.

“It does,” you’re much less enthused.

He seems excited at the reveal.

You end up sitting behind him - Kaminari, Denki - and he seems to enjoy turning around and talking to you despite Aizawa’s repetitive warnings against it.

You notice that Izuku enjoys talking to other people in the class too. And you don’t mind, really you don’t. What you mind is when you enter the conversation and he apologizes for you.

“Sorry, she’s got a dry humor…”

“Sorry, she isn’t the best in social situations…”

“Sorry, she’s a little awkward…”

Why, why, why?

“Hey, Izuku,” you’re studying with him in the common room when you call his name, “are you free this weekend?”

“Uh, no, sorry,” he averts his eyes as he usually does when he can sense he’s about to cause an upset, “I have plans with Iida and Uraraka…”

“You’ve gone out with them a lot lately.”

“Izuku, she thinks you hate us.”

“Shut up,” you murmur to the shadow, “Izuku, we haven’t hung out much. I know we study together every so often but… I don’t know…” you feel guilty, admitting this, “I miss you.”

“Oh,” his brows furrow, “I think you should try hanging out with other people.”

“You’ve never had this problem before.”

“I’ve never had other friends before.”

That makes you pause. You pull back and put the book to the side.

Why did he say it like that?

Like he didn’t have a choice?

“Look, all I mean is maybe you should hang out with Kaminari. He likes you,” Izuku lays a hand over yours, “You should make other friends.”

Why is he saying this now? You always thought he didn’t mind you or your shadow. You never thought he minded. Maybe he needed normal friends to teach him that he did mind.

That he did hate your shadow, like everybody else.

“I have to go,” you mumble, standing from the couch and going off, “Have fun with your friends.”

“Hey,” he stands as you go, reaching for your hand but stopping just as he gets close, “you’re my friend, too.”

You nod curtly and stiffly, “I know. I just wish you’d tell me what you’re thinking.”

You always thought he was fine with your bothersome shadow.

“It’s not my fault,” it’s frowning while you walk, “Izuku doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t hate us.”

“It’s Midoriya, to you,” you’re grumbling when you enter your dorm, “He’s my friend not yours, you ruined it.”

“He isn’t abandoning us at all, he’s just making friends.”

“Then why does he apologize for me as if I’m you?”

“Because you are me, just as I am you.”

“No, no, we’re two different people. I’m the real me and you’re a copy that only exists to bother me. Now, shut up.”

It was still watching you. Copying you.

What a freak.

“Why do you feel the need to blame me for everything? Losing touch with friends is a part of life. It’s sad but that’s all there is to say. Izuku might keep being our friend, but he might also move on. That’s life. You should make more friends too. I don’t like to see you lonely, it hurts me. You know that, don’t you? It hurts me.”

You sit on your bed alone and look around.

There isn’t much here.

You’ve never had much of your own.

There’s presents from Izuku and mementos from your parents scattered here and there. Other than that, there’s nothing signaling that this place is your own.

“Now that people have matured, they don’t mind me so much. Relying on Izuku was okay when he was the only person who wouldn’t shun us, but now you have a chance to make friends.”

“Izuku’s my only friend… what if the others don’t like me?”

“What if they do?”

“They could grow tired of me…”

“People tend to like others the more they know them, when that person is good. You’re good. People will like you.”

You place your head in your hands, “I don’t want to lose him… we grew up together…”

“Life goes on.”

You didn’t adjust well to the new trend of Izuku spending more time with Uraraka and Iida than he did you. You felt guilty for that. You felt jealous of them. You felt useless. You felt sorry for feeling jealous. You didn’t voice any of it to him.

You would eat alone. Walk to class alone. Walk back to the dorms alone. You were all alone. Izuku always had plans. Izuku made friends with Tsuyu and Shoto while he was gone. Izuku was in a group now. And you were alone and guilty and jealous and sorry.

You’re muttering one day in your bathroom. All alone and missing your only friend, “Life shouldn’t be this way…”

“To be fair to you,” your shadow had gently begun, “I thought he’d put more effort into sticking around.”

Maybe he got tired of being your only company. Maybe he started to detest your bluntness. Maybe he hated the way your shadow watched his every move while making none of its own.

You’re in the classroom when Katsuki bleeds out his newly forming redemption, in the form of an invitation to you.

“I have a meeting to go to,” Shota’s staring at the clock while he speaks, “I trust you not to tear up the room while I’m gone, so just stay in here so I can lock up when you leave.”

“Sounds good,” you nod as he leaves.

“You’ve been doing this a lot,” your shadow tilts its head, “Staying after class ends. Why do you do this? Just talk to Kaminari, he’s interested in being friends.”

“I don’t want to be rejected…”

“If he turns you down because of your Quirk then he’s an idiot. Your life is dictated by yourself and you’re the only one who’s always there until the end. You can’t worry about other people when you’re making yourself miserable over them.”

“I think I should drop out of U.A… I’m not happy here…”

“You haven’t tried to be. You do well in exams and Aizawa considers you a top student behind Bakugou and Todoroki. But you only worry about Izuku, you need to move on if he won’t put effort into your friendship.”

“But I don’t know why he left. What if everyone else leaves, too, and I never know why?”

“Izuku’s not malicious, he isn’t doing this purposefully. You’re both growing up and eventually he’ll see his mistake. Just give him time and while you do that, make more friends. Have fun in class. Don’t try to understand someone else before you can appreciate yourself just a little.”

“Your shadow’s still talkin’, huh?”

You don’t have to turn to know that it’s Katsuki speaking.

“What’re you doing in here? You and Kirishima left after cleaning.”

“Forgot something,” he goes to his desk and picks up the notebook on the surface, “Look, I’m not gonna give you a shitty speech, but sparky’s busting my ass about inviting you out with us. If you have no fuckin’ dinner plans this Friday, we’re meeting by the gate at five.”

He walks out before you can even respond.

Katsuki’s matured a lot since junior high. Maybe being attacked by that villain changed him. Maybe being humbled by losing to Izuku changed him. Maybe growing up means a dramatic change and you’d never noticed.

Because while life went on, your eyes were trained on your childhood friend’s back.

Friday comes by with few interactions with Izuku even though you hear he’s made plans with his group of Tsuyu, Ochaco, Shoto, and Tenya.

At a quarter till five, you’re putting on shoes.

Your shadow is smiling up at you from the floor.

“What?” your tone is harsh.

“I’m really proud of you,” it always sounded so kind. How could the kids from your childhood hate something that sounds so sweet?

“For what?”

“Going out.”

“It’s just leaving the dorms…”

“Still,” it insists as you stand and pull the door open, “that’s a lot and you don’t usually go out, I’m happy you’re doing it now.”

You get to the gate at five minutes to the meeting time and just based on the others’ personalities, you aren’t surprised to be the first person there.

The next people to arrive are Katsuki and Eijiro at five o’ clock on the dot.

Eijiro’s face completely lights up when he spots you, “Hey!” he’s waving frantically, as if you’ll disappear in the blink of an eye, “Did we keep you waiting?”

“No, I just got here a few minutes ago,” you check your phone for the time, “Are the others typically late?”

“We put Sero on the job, so they shouldn’t be too long,” Eijiro looks back at the entrance to the dorms, “Anywhere specific you were thinkin’ for food?”

You merely shrug, “Not really…”

“Udon would be nice,” your shadow suggests despite both of you knowing it's unable to eat.

“Has to be somewhere where they’ve got it fuckin’ spicy,” Katsuki huffs, “Otherwise there’s no damn point.”

“I can do that, yeah,” Eijiro pulls out his phone to search for locations.

“Hey, guys! I got the idiots!” Hanta cheers before pausing, eyes widening when they meet yours. You worry you’re not supposed to be there, but then his lips broaden into that stupid grin of his, like he’s happy to see you, “You came!”

Denki rushes over to you with a smile that’s as bright as the one Izuku had shone on you when you first met, “Sweet, you’re here! I was worried you’d skip out on us.”

“I couldn’t stay cooped in my room for much longer,” you admit, barely managing to return the grin he displayed.

“Well, I’m glad you decided to come.”

“Me, too,” your shadow’s immediate to agree.

“Ah, this is gonna be so fun!” Mina squeals, jumping over to hang off your shoulder as she giggles.

Dinner is fun. A lot of fun. A lot of laughs. Laughs so genuine that you don’t remember sharing them since junior high with Izuku. The others are excited to have and include you. And they like your shadow.

“She’s like a cool big sister!”

You’d never heard something like that before, but the way Mina says it makes your stomach flutter.

“You should come back out with us sometime,” Hanta murmurs on the walk home, you two are stuck at the back of the group while the others bother Katsuki, who’s leading the way.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I think you should,” your shadow is weak in the nighttime darkness, barely holding itself together with the streetlights.

You look down at it, quirking a brow, “You think so?”

“I do,” it smiles, “Please, do.”

“It’ll be fun,” Hanta’s almost singing when he says it.

“Yeah, okay,” you nod, “When were you thinking?”

“This Saturday if you’re not doing anything?”

“I’m free, yeah.”

“Woah, making plans without us?” Denki suddenly turns and pouts when he overhears you and Hanta, “Talk about mean.”

“I was just letting her know of pre-existing plans, dumbass!”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say. Totally weren’t planning to leave us out or anything.”

“We weren’t!”

“Uh-huh.”

As Hanta and Denki argue, your shadow speaks again, “I like them.”

You turn back to it, “I do, too.”

There’s a lull in your conversation while the others grow louder within their own.

You frown slightly when you recall all the times you’d been so cruel to your own self, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just try to do better by yourself. I’m not mad at you, I never really was.”

“Anyway,” Hanta emphasizes the word, cutting off any response you could’ve had, and turns to face you, “we’re all going to Bakugou’s room at like noon, if you wanna come?”

“I’d like that, yeah,” your smile grows wider. It feels unnatural and welcome at the same time.

“Great!” Denki claps his hands together before pointing at you, “Can’t wait to see ya there,” then he moves his finger to point at your shadow, “And you, of course.”

Your shadow giggles at that, and for once, you join her and laugh together.

In your pocket, your phone buzzes and you pull it out to check the text lighting its screen.

Izuku :)

hey! i’m sorry for being distant, i shouldn’t have ignored you when you were telling me how you felt. i’m free sunday, if you want to do something together? if not, i totally understand i really am sorry

“Is it Izuku?” your shadow asks.

“Yeah,” you nod to her, “it is.”

“Take care of yourself,” she murmurs while fading away in the darkness, but it doesn’t feel sad - not anymore, “The only person who gets to live with you forever is yourself, so try and do right by you. Even if that just means getting up.”

[leoneabbacchionotacop]

Welcome to my blog!(yes I previously had a blog but I'm restarting)

About me!!!

Heyo, you can call me Leone/Lee, Roxas, Nick or Onyx Yoshikage Kira, I go by all pronouns and I'm nonbinary + black. I'm kinda searching for mutuals who are interested in the things I am!!! I'm sorta new-ish when it comes to blogs so bare with me💀💀💀. I'm not well organized but I do try to be 😥, it's kinda hard bc I'm dumb as a rock. I do enjoy writing but I'm not great at it. My favorite color is yellow and I draw, write(ofc), read and sing. I do appreciate constructive criticism but don't go overboard with it! I play a buncha games(especially Nintendo or any console games tbh). I hope you enjoy my blog, don't be a stranger :)

Fandoms I'm currently in

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Demon Slayer

Five nights at Freddy's

Jujutsu Kaisen

One piece(just started Sabaody arc)

Legends of Zelda(specifically Skyward sword, OoT and BoTW)

Harvest Moon(especially FoMT and Pioneers of Olive Town)

Yuri on ice(just a teeny bit)

Soul Eater

The disastrous life of Saiki K

Attack on Titan

Dragon Ball(slightly!)

The Elder Scrolls(Mostly skyrim and a bit of Morrowind)

Undertale

Your Turn to Die

Pokemon

Gravity falls

Haikyuu

Identity V

Ace attorney

Stardew Valley

TWDG

My Rules + DNI

I do take requests but like everyone else, I have rules and basic DNI Criteria

DNI

Proshippers(incest, abusive, pedo, etc relationships)

Support DSMP(instablock if you interact)

Pedophile/support them

Believe in "Blackwashing"

Doesn't support BLM

Zoophile

Homophobic + Transphobic

Racist/xenophobic/ableist/anti-semitic

Hates cats/hj

Thinks tone tags are dumb

Makes fun of neopronouns

Piss kink mfers/hj

My rules

This is a POC + LGBTQ safespace so no racist/Homophobic comments

Bullying/hate speech is not welcome here

Whenever you request something, please be specific on pronouns!!

Dark content is allowed but to an extent, please don't send me anything gory, etc.

This is a Positive blog, so keep negativity to a minimum.

You can most definitely send me stories you're working on and ask me to proofread/ give constructive criticism.

NO SPOILERS WITHOUT A SPOILER WARNING!!!!

If you know me irl, or I have told you something personal, don't expose it.

No extremely controversial topics.

Use tw's/cw's and tone tags(if what you say can be taken a different way, for example. (I hate you/j)

If you're a minor, interact at your own risk! Mature things may appear(not guaranteed).

My dms are open for venting but do put a trigger warning for any explicit/triggering things.

Have fun and spread positivity!!

Request rules!

Pronouns must be specified or I will assume its GN

I will write x male reader but it won't be the best since I was born AFAB.

Smut is a so-so. I most likely will not write it but I can try (??)

You can also just use the ask button to talk to me!(I love you all/p)

Preferred to be in English, I could try to translate German though,,,(I know basic German just a bit)

I have the right to refuse an ask. Sometimes I might be confused or I don't know how to write it.

Don't spam me with the same request, I will get to it eventually..

Anon is on but don't abuse it :(