#justspooniethings

[thementalspoonie]

Adulting wins as a spoonie looks like getting a new heating pad that covers your hips, knees, and hands all at once, for those awful flares. 👌

Just wish it covered my feet too!

[pineapplebear26]

Will someone tell my bladder to calm the fuck down

We don’t need to piss every twenty goddamn minutes

[lymeprincess]

When it’s time to take my meds

[Gif of woman from informercial opening a cupboard and after a brief pause, a mass of tupperware containers tumble out, knocking her over]

[thechronicallychill-blog]

Had a very long, very taxing weekend at the barn. I am completely out of spoons, but all my students passed their riding levels, so it was worth it. I’m taking this rainy today off work to recover and decompress. There’s definitely some things in life that are worth maxing out your energy for. It took a long time for me to accept that I can’t give all of myself to every area of life all the time. In fact, there’s still days when I get frustrated and hurt that my body has more limits than I want. On those days, I just try to remember that everyone has limits and thresholds, no matter how healthy we are. We live in a world that expects us to deliver a hundred percent on and off the clock. That’s not healthy for anyone and I actually think being a spoonie gives us an advantage in the fact that we can not compromise our self care for the sake of impressing our bosses, our families, or our friends. We have to draw the line much more aggressively than someone who’s healthy, so for as much as I hate having to take time off for my illnesses, I am grateful because they have forced me to grow up and stick up for my right to recover. #justspooniethings #spoonielife #spoonie #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #endostrong #edslife #zebra #ehlersdanlossyndrome #ehlersdanlosgrrrls

[heatherwitch]

Good afternoon I slept in till 12:15 and am attempting to eat blended chili (cold) with a baby spoon because I have a craving but also have blisters all over my mouth and tongue...

[chronicallyoverthis]

*laying on the couch*

HR: 😴✅ 50bpm

*stands up*

HR: 😱⁉️⚠️EmeRGeNcY!?!?PANic ModE?!? ALl EnGIneS FUlL CApAciTY?!? 150BPm!?!?!

[swimmiey]

My new medical ID bracelet from @laurenshopeid came in the mail today. I'm so exited about it and couldn't be any happier with it. Rather wouldn't need one, but since I do I just want a pretty one. Today I've had an appointment with the physician assistant and it didn't go exactly as hoped. The intracranial pressure (icp) readings were way to high when laying down, but standing up the numbers went straight into the negative. This means my shunt still drains to much standing up, making my shunt go vacuum so it stops draining and giving me high pressures. But for now the neurosurgeon doesn't want to change anything in the settings of the valve, because of the pulmonary embolisms and wanted to let my body try and heal from that before changing the settings, because he's afraid he would make things worse when he's changing it now. So I'm facing another 3 months of these excruciating headaches, nausea, vomiting, strength loss and vision loss.. I'm just so ready for some relief.. and I'm just feeling devastated that it seems like changing the shunts valve hasn't done anything so far. Tomorrow I have a phone consult with my nephrologist, my potassium and phosphate levels are dropping the again.. Really hope I don't need any iv potassium anytime soon ▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️ #neverendingstoryofmylife #itneverstops #iihsucks #totiredtofunction #sonauseous #myheadhurts #feelingdefeated #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #chronichope #chronicheadache #butyoudontlooksick #intracranialhypertension #pseudotumorcerebri #headachefromhell #justspooniethings #justwanttosleep #justwantrelief #shuntlife #shuntproblems #shuntrevision #spoonielife #medicalalertbracelet #ineedacure #ifeellikegivingup #electrolyteimbalance #brainsurgerysurvivor (bij Radboudumc)

[kronicallykieran]

I am an adult, I should not need diapers!

[just-spoonie-things]

I'll continue answering asks tomorrow. Sorry for the absence - I have my final exams coming up (Lord give me spoons) but I felt the inbox was in desperate need of attention. Bella x

[hillbillyoracle]

Shadow Work with Me (part two)

in part two of this post, I’m gonna go over how I use tarot and mediation as part of my shadow work practice. As with the first post, these are all just ideas to form a springboard for your own practice, to give concrete examples of what doing shadow work can look like. 

Tarot

Tarot Shadow Work is helpful for those times when I’m trying to work on something more abstract and less experiential. For example, when I’m working on how I relate to power or what it means to really be compassionate or strong. I also use it when I’m low on spoons and I need something to ground me in the work I’m doing. Cards can help keep me focused on the task at hand.

SOAP Journaling

I use this for: when I want to go deep with a tarot reading, when I’m devoting Shadow Work time as an act of worship to a specific deity

What it is: SOAP Journaling is a structured way of looking at religious/spiritual “texts”. It consists of scripture/source, observations, applications, and prayer/gratitude. In this case, I will use a tarot card or a full spread as my “text”. I personally like to use this with bigger spreads where I don’t necessarily want to interpret the meaning card by card. So when I do a Celtic Cross for myself, I’ll use this. I also like to pair it with Tarot Challenges.

How to do it: Shuffle your cards and lay them out according to your spread. Take a picture of record the positions and the cards for your Scripture/Source section. Then take in everything the spread has to offer. Look for anything you didn’t expect, anything that makes you uncomfortable, or anything that speaks to your strengths. Looks for references to the past and to important others. Record this in the observations section. For the application section, look for anything the reading might be urging you to do. Or consider how you want to act differently in light of the observations that got brought up.

Personal Example: There have been times, usually on Sundays, when I wanted to devote some time to the Morrigan so I will pull out a deck of cards and do a general Celtic Cross spread using this method. It’s nice because I don’t have to know what I’m getting into ahead of time and I don’t necessarily have to have a particular emotion, person, or even I’m working with. As such it’s usually less cathartic Shadow Work and more reflective. But it’s always helpful!

More Information: My earlier post on SOAP Journaling https://hillbillyoracle.tumblr.com/post/174456836109/soap-journaling-a-devotional-framework-one-of

 Tarot Challenges

I use this for: when I need consistency, when I want to break a big topic in to more manageable pieces

What it is: Tarot Challenges are a series of prompts for tarot readings or specific spreads usually intended to be done on consecutive days and usually lasts a month. The best way to understand what a Tarot Challenge is is to search for some. Tumblr and Instagram have a ton. I’ll link some of mine below too. I’d note here that just because a tarot challenge is issued for a certain month doesn’t mean you have to do it in said month. I also usually batch them for when I have the energy. So if I get a real pull to do some tarot I’ll do like 5 at a time and then do the next 5 when I get the next burst of energy (#justspooniethings). So take them as more of a guideline than a mandate.

How I do it: I find a tarot challenge that really resonates with me and slowly work my way through it. Sometimes publicly, sometimes not, sometimes a combination of the two. I’ll often combine it with SOAP Journaling, especially if it aligns with my devotional goals.

Personal Example: I’ve done all of the challenges that I’ve posted. I found that posting some of them really kept me from getting the most of out of them so I’ve journaled them instead. They’re satisfying and help keep me on track with intentions because it’s nice and structured and easy to come back to. Other types of Shadow Work can be rather messy and mood dependent so it can be nice to have something where I know exactly what to do. Similar to SOAP Journaling it’s usually less cathartic for me though not always, the Validation Day Challenge got to me a few times.

More Information: Self Awareness Challenge https://hillbillyoracle.tumblr.com/post/173458259674/may-tarot-challenge-self-awareness   Deck Bonding Challenge  https://hillbillyoracle.tumblr.com/post/174459045934/the-deck-bonding-challenge  Validation Day Challenge https://hillbillyoracle.tumblr.com/post/174459045934/the-deck-bonding-challenge  Nonbinary November Challenge https://hillbillyoracle.tumblr.com/search/nonbinary+november

 Card Studies

I use this for: when I want to focus on something abstract, when I want to get more comfortable with an abstraction that makes me uncomfortable

What it is: It’s all about selecting a card and doing a really deep dive. I usually pick a card that embodies one of my Shadow Work goals – so they’re usually ones that make me uncomfortable in some way.

How I do it: I shared a little of how I do Card Studies in my post about how I take notes on a deck. I usually summarize what the deck’s accompanying book says about the deck. Then I write about a paragraph each on the narrative/suite, vertical/same-number, and personal associations I have with the card I’m focusing on. Then I write a little about what draws me to or repels me from the cards, the positives and negatives of the card, and what the card reminds me of in my own life. I usually keep this for reference too but I consider it Shadow Work because it’s very self reflective and has helped me get some good epiphanies from time to time.

Personal Example: Most recently I’ve been doing this with the Emperor card to reflect on what of toxic masculinity I’ve brought to the masculine part of my nonbinary-ness. There are certain ideas about what I thought masculinity looked like and I’m trying to make sure I don’t replicate white heteropatriarchal shit in my genderqueerness. It’s an ongoing process but having a card to root this reflection in has really helped me.

More Information: How I Take Notes on a (New) Tarot Deck https://hillbillyoracle.tumblr.com/post/185038188159/how-to-take-notes-on-a-new-tarot-deck  

 Meditation

I like to close out with meditation because it helps me physically process what ever has come up in a way that I don’t take the dysfunctional feelings with me. I’m also just one of those strange people who just like meditating. It’s one of the few things I do every day at least a little without fail. For the purposes of Shadow Work though it helps me signal to my body that we’re safe, the process is done, and we can relax now.

 Single Pointed Meditation

I use this for: most of the time, integrating what I’ve worked on, sitting with the physical sensations it’s brought up

What it is and How to Do It: It’s pretty much in the name. It’s just continually bringing your full concentration to a single point – your breath, the feeling of your weight in the chair, the sound of a fan – for a set time.

More Information: I couldn’t find a good source for this; I’ll add one in later if I find one.

 Guided Meditation

I use this for: when the guided meditation aligns with other shadow work goals, such as devotional guided meditations for certain deities or when it focuses on a similar lesson as what I’m working on

What it is: Guided meditations are either written or recorded meditations that help you journey into the otherworld, release fear, increase compassion, or move toward one of many self-improvement/spiritual goals. I usually listen to them once through without meditating to make sure they work for my practice and there aren’t any surprises. I do prefer to listen rather than read so that I can focus on the physical sensations of my body. Some people only really jive with guided meditations and I think it can totally work instead of single pointed depending on the person or practice.

How do it: There are many apps that have pre-recorded meditations. I really like the Stop, Breathe, Think app. Lora O’Brien has Celtic meditations, many centered on traditional sacred sites. YouTube is full of different guided meditations for different topics.

More Information: Stop, Breathe, Think App https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/stop-breathe-think/id778848692?mt=8 Lora O’Brien https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0silGlqicc&t=1370s

 Closing

After I meditate, I might pray, give an offering, or eat a snack. It really all depends on where I’m at mentally at the end of a session. Eating a snack helps me feel more grounded after anything that brought up a real emotional upset or anything that triggered feelings of dissociation.

This post turned out way longer than I originally intended but I wanted to lean on the side of being comprehensive. 

So how do you use all this information? I recommend sitting down and picking a time on a weekly or bimonthly basis that you want to dedicate to Shadow Working. Pick an exercise from the first post and pick an exercise from this post and do them then. Plan ahead how you’ll wind down from the work (meditation, shower, food, etc). And then keep a record - I like to keep it separate from the work itself - on how the session went and what you’d do differently. Then wash, rinse, repeat. 

Shadow Work has worked best for me when I can do it with some measure of consistency. I have some that I do on a near daily basis (TMS Journaling) and some I do on a bimonthly basis (SOAP Journaling). That’s just what’s worked out best for me. 

I wish you luck in all your shadowy endeavors! 

[holmeslesswhovian]

#JustSpoonieThings; Having to grind up and measure out your spices the night BEFORE baking, because you know if you do it before baking, you’ll fall asleep with the oven on! #knackered #baking #spices #spoonieproblems #EDS #gingerbread #PriorPreparationPreventsPissPoorPerformance #PestlesndMortar #witchythings

[lymeprincess]

You ever like plan out your stomach flares? Like "no no no I can hold out for one more minute before I run to the bathroom the tea is almost ready".

Catch me in the bathroom with a fluffy blanket on my lap, a mug of earl grey tea, Netflix on my laptop and a stomach that hates me.

[thechronicallychill-blog]

Seriously in love with these lace up Billabong jeans, and not because I’m determined to bring back the ‘70’s. They’re great because when the endo gets cranky and the bloat kicks in, I can loosen the laces and they still look hella cute, hold their shape, and keep me comfortable (as comfortable as jeans can be anyway). #spooniefashion #spoonie #justspooniethings #billabong #chronicallymotivated #chronicillness #endometriosis

[spoonielivingapp]

💜🥄✨🥄💜 #Repost @fitfibrochronicals ・・・ woke up this morning feeling A-Okay and excited to FINALLY be back at work..luckily my dad was driving me because I spent the entire car ride puking and we had to turn around 😔 not sure if Sally is to blame or if I’m just not ready to be back in a car just yet🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ #fitfibrochronicals #fitsisters #fibrosisters #spooniesisters #spoonieliving #spoonielivingapp #chronicallyfabulous #chronicallyawesome #chronicillness #invisibleillness #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #butyoudontlooksick #spoonie #lifeofaspoonie #justspooniethings #ureteralstent #cystoscopy #kidneystone #sallythestent #painpaingoaway #infection #newfriends #roughmorning #homesick #nausea #poorlyday #pjday

[raccoon82]

Chronic illness problem #ilostcount

When your partner, who used to mock spoon theory starts using it to excess, and you feel robbed of a way to identify as a chronically ill person...

[pushingbandcandy]

I woke up at a deficit of spoons today