#just yeeting anyone who makes my eye twitch a little

[densewentz]

blocking people who so much as mildly irritate me online is quickly becoming a favorite pasttime. unapologetically curate your online experience guys ✌️

[phoenixyfriend]

Commander Buir

Follow-up to this post. Not in any particular order, just spitballing ideas, with contributions from several friends on discord.

Like presumably it takes long enough for them all to meet up again that Anakin and Cody do, in fact, end up treating each other like family, just so I can have that good good "well, guess I'm Dad now" energy. Shmi isn't entirely sure what's going on but she's not a slave anymore and her kid seems to like this rando mando, so.

Anakin gets to have a mom and two dads, though one of the dads is arguably younger than him.

Also when they all meet up again and Cody explains the "General Skywalker got shrunk" thing, there are three reactions: (General) Obi-Wan: Oh, Anakin. Obi-Wan: [gestures to take him, ends up with an armful of clingy padatoddler] Anakin: You can't blame this on me, Obi. Obi-Wan, a little teary, because babies cause emotions: Of course I can, you absurd human being. ------ Rex: That's... my general. Anakin: I am, Captain. Rex: Cool cool cool I'm gonna go stand where I can't, uh, break you. Anakin: I'm not THAT fragile! ------ Ahsoka: [gasp] Skyguy is SKYKID! Anakin: Padawan, this is-- Ahsoka, grabbing him and cuddling: Oh my goodness you're adorable this is the best day ever. Anakin: This is humiliating, Snips, put me down. Ahsoka: Never.

Anakin hates being a toddler because of the lack of independence but Cody keeps picking him up when he's cranky and just holding him until he falls asleep and that's... nice.......

- The brain limitations aren't quite as bad as the situation with Sokanth and Ylliben in the other AU, but - Even if his brain is mostly adjusted he’s still got a tiny body with different needs that he’s not used to. Like, he needs to sleep more but he’s got more energy than usual when he’s awake and it’s all weird.

Cody carrying around toddler Anakin like "God you give me ulcers but you're adorable, you little shit."

Inconveniently tiny body aside, Anakin has a pretty great time in this au. His family are all together and safe and within reach. His wife isn't around, but toddler brain means he doesn't have the Romance Drive, so that's not as bad as it could be It could be significantly worse.

@atagotiak asked: Does Anakin get annoyed about being called cute? - To which I say, He bites the first few times but Shmi tells him that's Naughty so he stops. - Babies are cute so you packbond with them before they’re annoying, Anakin is cute as a self defense mechanism - He’s extra annoying so he needs to be extra cute

You know how you need to keep an eye on toddlers so they don't, like, fall down the stairs or put something toxic in their mouth? - They need to keep an eye on Anakin specifically so he doesn't rewire the ship they're in while they're in hyperspace. - He has less self control on account of being smol. He still has all the mechanical knowledge! Just less comprehension of y’know, consequences.

Anakin, with a sippy cup: This is demeaning. Ahsoka: Your hands don't work great enough to avoid accidents yet. Anakin: It's still embarrassing.

General Kenobi can't just kill Maul, not when Maul is baby right now (sixteen, which is baby enough) so he just. Kinda. Kidnaps a baby Sith. (It's fine. He's fine.)

General Kenobi (not to be confused with Padawan Kenobi) decides to declare Maul his new padawan because someone has to deal with this teenager, and Plo already claimed the rest of Ahsoka's training. And Anakin's three, so.

"What do we do with Maul?" "Eh, I can handle him. I dealt with teenage Anakin getting arrested for illegal pod-racing twice a month, I can work with this."

Maul bites, but only slightly more often than Anakin, it's fine

Ahsoka definitely bullies Maul whenever possible

Consider: Rex holding very still because Anakin wanted to be tall, so he climbed Rex. Being unexpectedly climbed is better than being unexpectedly yeeted. It's still extremely nerve-wracking. - Cody is perfectly capable of running around with a backpacking toddler General, but Rex freezes like a statue. - Ahsoka finds this hilarious

You know how little kids like to be thrown around and swung in circles and stuff like that? This must get even more ridiculous with force users. Can throw a child real high and catch them safely. - Rex panics whenever Ahsoka throws her chibified Master

Literally everyone except Rex loves being yeeted. Even Maul can appreciate a good tactical yeet no shut up he's not having fun this is TRAINING - Rex is Suffering - Cody, a very Tired Dad, deserves to mock his vod'ika a little, as stress relief - Rex, a certified Little Brother, shoves Cody off something tall. Jokes on him, Cody thinks freefall is fun too.

Tia asked: So the people who didn’t exist yet got flung bodily back in time and Anakin did the mental time travel. Why did Obi-Wan not become Padawan Kenobi? (I mean “because I want it that way” is def a good enough answer I’m just wondering if there’s any reason.) - Which, well, it really was mostly "I want to" but here's two options, both of which come down to Blame Daughter and Father. 1. They figured a responsible adult Jedi Master was needed to convince people. 2. Nobody was supposed to get de-aged but Daughter figured they needed to make Anakin less liable to kill things for a few years. - Also IDK the Force God-Manifestations also took away any risk of rapid aging and early death from the clones because uhhhhhhhhhhh I said so

Rex and Ahsoka are fumbling their way through a relationship where ages are just really confusing and awkward, so they're keeping it to just kisses and cuddles for a bit.

Cody is so tired he doesn't even realize anyone's hitting on him until it's been three years of co-parenting with Shmi and his General. - Somehow Anakin knows Cody is in a relationship before Cody does. Cody has never been so embarrassed. - How did he manage to be less observant than Skywalker? -- it was sabotage; all his brain cells were taken up in managing said Skywalker -- Because Skywalker was up at three in the morning whacking a training droid with a stick so he didn't have the energy for Relationships

Also Shmi's come-ons are super subtle, while the General's are... well, Cody's gotten very used to ignoring anything ambiguous on that end because fraternization rules, and also because Obi-Wan flirts a lot with everyone. So.

Please imagine Cody and General Kenobi walking around with Anakin tucked into a toddler sling while they do whatever work they've ended up with at the Temple. - Yes, Cody is helping the Jedi figure out the best plan of attack to take down this slave ring because his grasp on tactics is phenomenal and he knows how to deploy people at greatest efficiency, but also he's got a nosy toddler on his hip who keeps offering his own insane-but-competent ideas. - General Kenobi ends up with a Council Seat just on account of, like, being the kind of person he is. As often as not, he's got Anakin tucked into his robes, chewing on the ear of a stuffed tooka or something.

IDK what Shmi's doing but apparently Legends had it that some of the administrative and support positions in the Temple were held by non-Jedi civilians? So probably something like that.

GENERAL KENOBI LECTURING PADAWAN MAUL WHILE ANAKIN'S BALANCED ON HIS HIP AND GLARING AT MAUL FOR STEALING HIS DAD

General Kenobi: Ahsoka's babysitting. Anakin: I'm her master, I don't need babysitting, this is-- General Kenobi: Fine, then you need supervision, so that you don't blow up a training salle again. Anakin: And you think Ahsoka would stop me? General Kenobi, eye twitching: Fine, I'm leaving you with Plo.

Even if he’s mentally an adult Anakin always needs supervision Look at canon! Anakin was left without supervision for like two days and he became a Sith

Quinlan gets distracted by how attractive General Kenobi is and tells Obi-Wan "dude, you're gonna be so hot once you can get rid of the stupid haircut" and Obi-Wan pushes him into the nearest pond.

They end up with this weird "Uncle Jango" situation (uncle to Anakin, via weird brotherhood-ish to Cody) because Rex and Cody are just like "Uhhhhhhhhh yeah okay" about him eventually, and Jango just like. Drops by. Trying to Earn Affection Of Blood Kin by bringing weird gifts for them and their (ugh) Jedi.

"Okay, Rex'ika, I stopped by Shili--" "What?" "--and apparently this is a delicacy there, so just... your girlfriend will like it." "She's not my girlfriend." "..." "Okay, I can't call her my girlfriend. Jedi have rules about that sort of thing, and--" "This will make your Jedi happy, probably. Just take it, kid."

Baby Anakin got his arm back but for some inexplicable reason still has The Eye Scar. He matches Buir.

[shadowofahope]

Don't Tell Me What You See

Stars

Warnings:

Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader

Author's notes: Which ending is your favourite?

masterlist

“Tae!” Jimin screeches over the phone. Lungs burning as he sprints down block after block to get back to the dorms.

“What?” Taehyungs voice booms back, his gut was telling him something was wrong a while ago but he had brushed it off.

“Where is y/n?” He pants desperately.

“Um, she said she had a phone call to take, but I don’t know where she is now. Why?” Taehyung notices the panic in Jimin's voice, realizing something is seriously wrong, it wasn’t just his gut acting up. “Why JIMIN?”

“You need to find her please! I’m so stupid, Tae, you need to find her.” He sobs over the phone, still running, pace never faltering. “She’s my soulmate! PLEASE FIND HER.”

Taehyung springs to his feet, he looks around wildly at his soulmate and members.

“Does anyone know where Y/N went?!” He practically yells at them.

“No, what's going on?” Jin jumps in the kitchen.

“Jimin, we'll find her, just get here.” He barks before hanging up his phone and yeeting it onto the couch.

“Wha-” Hoseok starts.

Taehyung makes eye contact with Yoongi, compelling his hyung to understand the urgency.

“He knows.” Eyes as wide as they can get, Yoongi stands up.

“Guys, everyone split up!” Yoongi takes over. “We need to find her NOW.”

Everyone eyes each other, confusion running deep. They didn’t have time for this.

“MOVE IT!” He screams. Everyone breaks into action.

💜♾💜♾💜

Eyes fluttering slightly open, all you see is gold dust. It could be regular dust in the air, catching the light of the lamps above you, but you can’t quite tell. Warmth radiates through your body and you feel content with lying there forever. Something twitches against your left palm, you give into curiosity as your eyes crack open a little more over to your side. There appears to be a figure hunched over your bed, sleeping by its side, hand in yours. The warm fog makes it hard to clearly see who it is, but the gold dust swirls delicately around them. The warmth in your hand, the gold dust... you know this warmth.

As your haze lulls back over you, you hear shuffling. The hand in yours tightens, and you force yourself through the fog. Eyes rolling open, the figure is above you. Fuzzy in your view, their mouth is moving, but you hear nothing. The gold dust hovers over them as you begin to focus just enough.

Reaching up your right hand, you place a palm against the soft warm cheek, heat flows into your hand. Glistening, large eyes stare back at you, dark circles hanging underneath. You can barely see them. Your eyes travel to the moving mouth, plush lips that look like they have been chewed on relentlessly continue in vain.

“I know this face…” Your weak attempt at speaking, stilling the moving mouth.

Making eye contact once again, you feel a faint pull. A tug really, of threads you thought were lost. Warmth tickling your heart. Galaxies shone in these eyes.

“I know these stars.” You say again, a soft smile appearing on your face.

His soft, angelic voice finally pierces through the clouds in your ears.

“And I know you, my soulmate.” Jimin sings, resting his forehead to yours as tears silently slip out of his closed eyes, down his face.

Breathing in deeply, warm air enters your body, it begins to thaw your icy lungs. A wave of heat rolls over your body, rushing through you, into your every limb, every appendage, every vein, every molecule. You feel a jolt through your body, pulling back slightly you look at him, confusion etched in your face. He lets out a deep breathe, slowly opens his eyes and…..you’re gone.

No longer are you in your hospital bed, but in the center of of a mirrored disk, floating in what looked like galaxies. These were the planets and stars you had seen so many months prior, the celestial bodies looking stoic as they shone from a distance. You look around confused, then you notice it.

On the outer edge of the disk, walking straight towards you is a figure. The end of a swirling golden thread loops its way over to the figure, disappearing into its chest. You follow the golden tether with your eyes, finally noticing its other end.

You. You are the other end, the golden strand leads directly into your chest. You stare at it in bewilderment, its warm, the warmth you’ve been trying to find for so long. It’s pulsing with heat.

You’re brain still laced with the fog of before, you can’t comprehend what exactly is happening. A luminescent hand grasps under your chin, lifting you to face the figure. Eyes locking with the childlike face in front of you.

“Sorry, I took so long.” Jimin smiles at you before wrapping you in his arms. You are engulfed by heat. Your body finally regulating to a normal body temperature. All sense of cold now completely gone. The disk below shines bright, too bright as your whisked away, back to your hospital room.

You stare at him from your bed, eyes wide. Lost in all that just happened.

“There’s no amount of apologizing I can do, you don’t have to forgive me. But please know, I’ve really thought about this. I want it to be you. I’m sorry I’ve been so blind and ignorant and selfish and a complete idiot. If you give me this chance I promise to make it up to you, I’ll spend the rest of my existence making you happy.” Words continue to tumble from his mouth, all lost in the only thought screaming at you loudly in your mind. With every sound of his voice, the last of the cold lingering in you recedes. Till only your toes are frostbitten.

“Did you…..accept…” Your breath hitches, as you feel a warm tear escape your eyes.

“Yes.” He breathes, cupping your face in his hands. “I choose you.”

Finally you are able to feel your toes again.

Finally Warm || Stars. || Coral Reef || Golden

Taglist:

@fangirl125reader @christelle332 @shopmum @jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos

@allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig @kookachuwu @megjoonyeol @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue

[depressedacadamia]

Sore Loser

A/N: I rewrote this twice because I deleted half of it- totally no tears here! Comment your opinions and most importantly, enjoy! <3 from moi.

Word count: 1.3K

Summary: The ending to this one shot

Tagging: @showtunesandsolangelo​

Part II

Percy refused to talk to Annabeth the entire ride back to Camp. Most of his team was lighting up on the way back besides Percy and Will who were furious at Nico for overworking himself over a game. Percy would turn his head every time Annabeth spoke to him however when they got off the bus, he snatched her bag out of her hand and threw it over his shoulder. Annabeth tried to not laugh- sure, he wouldn't talk to her but he would still hold her bag for her. 

“Percy, bro cmon, it was a game.” Jason slapped him on the back.  

“That we got beat in!” 

“That was your fault,” Calypso laughed slightly as Leo wove his hand into hers. He had forgiven her for practically yeeting him across into a creek. She still felt quite guilty when she saw the bruise across his back but he had waved it off as if it were nothing. 

“I did warn you that we were going to win,” Annabeth repeated. “ C’mon Perce, it was just a game!”

“Hmph!” Percy shook his head away from Annabeth even though he was holding her hand and her stuff. It was by far one of the funniest things Annabeth had ever seen him do.He clearly did not see the irony. 

“Do you understand what you did? It was a game Nico, a game! Do you understand what those words mean?” Will answered his question before Nico could. “ It means you don’t overexert yourself and have fun. Have you ever heard of fun before!?” 

Nico was trying to keep a poker face and not laugh at Will. He watched as the blond teenager continued freaking out, throwing his hands about and lecturing him. Nico was sitting down on his bed in the infirmary, supporting his weight with both his arms. Yes, Nico injured himself so often that he had an actual bed assigned to him in the infirmary. 

“What are you smiling at!” Will turned on him. 

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“It was you and your little freak outs. Happy now?” Nico raised an eyebrow.

“Oh.” Will seemed significantly quiet as he attempted to fight the rising blush on his cheeks.

“Nerd.”

“Says you.” Will retorted as he sat next to Nico, shuffling so he could get comfortable. Nico shuffled a bit so he could lay his head on Will’s chest who in turn rested his chin on Nico’s head.. Will felt warm, safe and his heart had steady thumps- something that calmed Nico as his eyes closed and he gently drifted into a sleep. The last thing he felt was a soft kiss on his forehead. 

“Anyone seen Will and Nico?” Piper asked as she took a seat.

“Infirmary,” Reyna confirmed as she decided to take a seat by Frank and Hazel. Just as Annabeth was going to take a seat by Piper instead of Percy, she felt a hand grab her wrist. She let Percy drag her to his lap- he was still frowning. His eyes weren’t cloudy like they were when he was truly angry, instead they were his regular sea green hue. His hair was messy form the game and some of the ends had splashes of yellow paint dired to the ends. There were even some splodges on his face and bruises on his arms but despite all of that, Annabeth still thought he looked as handsome as ever. 

“So you’re still going to interact with me but you won’t talk to me?” 

“He’s stubborn,” Leo called out. 

“Grudges really aren’t your thing Percy, leave that to Nico,” Hazel admitted, her legs resting on Frank’s lap. 

“She exploited the trust we had so she could win,” Percy huffed out the few words. Piper literally cackled. Percy was probably the one of the best soldiers in battle but he really wasn’t very good at losing. 

“Percy,” she wheezed. “It was a game. You should have seen it coming.”

“Seaweed brain, I said I’m sorry but come on, you have to admit it was funny!” Annabeth pleaded. She watched as Percy struggled to keep his face under control. The corners of his lips twitched upwards and at the same time, the dimples on his cheeks appeared momentarily before disappearing. His eyebrows creased together in a dramatic fashion, clearly trying to prevent a smile from spreading across his face. 

“Percyyy please!”

“Percy, you realise no one is on your side right?” Reyna reminded. 

“I’m going to my cabin, in case you traitors wanted to continue anymore of your protesting,” Percu huffed as he got up and stormed away in a dramatic fashion. The rest of the group remained in their seats, trying to resist snorting. 

A knock resonated from the door. Percy was considering if he should answer or not. The chances it was a quest or someone in need of his help (he really was close to screaming fuck all the gods except Hestia) and the chance it was Annabeth were both a fair 50/50. The knocking was persistent and finally Percy sighed before getting up and in a violent manner, pulled open the door. 

To his surprise, Annabeth stood there with a plate of blue cookies (that looked like one or two had been burnt), blue nachos (with some famous 7 layer dip which Annabeth had to iris-call Sally to learn the recipe) and a bottle of blue soda which stood by her foot.

“Sorry?” Annabeth offered, her arms a bit full. Percy didn’t know how to react. On instinct, he helped Annabeth, taking the nachos out of her hands and propping the door to his cabin open so she could walk in. As Annabeth walked in, he stuck his head out the door, to make sure Chiron wasn’t watching. 

“So..” Annabeth trailed off, looking at her feet. 

Percy sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “So…”

“I made cookies,” she smiled weakly.

“I saw. How many did you burn?”

Annabeth gasped in mock offense. Her hand flew to mouth dramatically as she struggled to hide a giggle. 

“What! There was no way that Leo didn’t help you with those. He’s the only one who can actually make food here,” Percy laughed slightly. Annabeth, caught red handed, let out a nervous bubble of laughter as she sat herself on one of the chairs in Percy’s cabin. 

“So… have you forgiven me?” Annabeths eyes looked shiny and hopeful. 

Percy had forgotten that he had meant to be mad around Annabeth- when the girl you’re in love with walks into your cabin with blue food and cookie ingredients across her face, you kinda have to stop thinking grrrr. In Percy’s eyes Annabeth looked so adorable- she had flour on her face and hair, her clothes were clearly in a food dye accident and her hands were stained blue. 

“Maybe… I will have to give everything a thorough taste test to determine it though.”

“Oh of course, we can’t have anything not up to your standard,” Annabeth joined in on Percy’s mucking about. Percy took a bite out of the blue cookie that lay on top- expecting the worse however, he was pleasantly surprised when it tasted pretty good. 

“Wow, this is way better than I thought it would be.” The words flew out of Percy’s mouth before he could stop them.

“Glad to see you believe in my baking skills,” Annabeth drawled sarcastically but her lips were still smiling. Annabeth also took a cookie and was shocked at how good it tasted. 

“Wow, these are pretty good.”

“Well you see, I have this super competitive but awesome girlfriend who cannot cook or bake but she has really good battle strategies that seem to also work when coming to blackmailing her friends to make food.”

Percy wrapped his arm around Annabeth's waist, pressing a kiss to her forehead just as she gave him a playful punch, causing him to pout and rub his arm. They set out the food and argued about what movie to watch.

[justleaf]

Summary

Roche and Iorveth go on a date with Geralt as their chaperone (not the hat).

Content Background

This one is especially painful to yeet because it was already completed, together with 50% of the next chapter that was the smutty bits. It was finished right about the time I posted Chapter 5 and would have fit in as Chapter 11, but it just didn't make sense with all the additional plot points I'd shoved in.

I've redacted the parts that could potentially get my tumblr banned btw please donut laugh when you see it.

Original Fic

It Took Years

Length

2,300 words

_____________

“Geralt, remember when I released you from prison and saved you from the Nilfgaardians a year ago?”

The white wolf raised his eyebrows in surprise. Roche had never called in a favour for him, and he could tell that Geralt knew it was going to be quite significant. He had thought about it too many times and despite the embarrassment and possibly never being able to look the witcher in the eye, he simply had no other choice.

“Look, I just need you to help Iorveth and I create an alibi.”

“... Uh-huh?”

“We have a meeting with Dijkstra in Novigrad in a week's time, and I plan to…” he swallowed hard when the words became momentarily stuck in his throat. It took another second for him to gather his courage to speak, and the slight tremble in his voice was immediately noticeable.

“I plan to spend the night with Iorveth in one of the inns the night before. But we need someone to cover us.”

The white wolf seemed to grow even paler and his lips pressed together in contemplation.

“You know that I have enhanced senses.”

“I know, but I need to make sure that no one catches us. Not the Scoia'tael, Blue Stripes, Dijkstra’s spies, Redanian spies, any Nilfgaardian-”

“Alright, alright, I get it. You just need to make sure that everyone thinks that I invited you two for a drink and make sure that no one is listening in.”

“I know I’m asking a lot of you, but you’re the only one I can trust in this situation. I haven’t… Iorveth and I don’t have any other opportunities. I can’t even hold his hand without worrying that someone is watching.”

Geralt stared blankly at him and Roche’s heart began to pump harder. His worry must have shown on his face, for the witcher immediately sighed and shook his head.

“Come to the Chameleon. I’ll get you guys a suite. With a wall to separate the living area and the bedroom.”

Roche looked up at him and down a few times, wondering first if Geralt had misspoke, and then if he had misheard. When the witcher said nothing and shrugged, Roche finally accepted it with a nod.

“Thanks, Geralt. Drinks are on me,” he muttered and hung his head a little. Embarrassment was beginning to burn his cheeks.

“Don’t mention it. I’ll see you soon.”

<center>_________________________</center>

“Why are we here so early when Geralt only wanted to see us after sundown,” Iorveth whispered as they passed the guards that almost ripped their papers in half. Roche had smooth-talked his way in and Iorveth was impressed, even though he didn't let it show.

They had set aside their armour and entered the city dressed as merchants: Roche in a nondescript outfit that let him blend in with the rest of the nobles, and Iorveth draped in a cloak that obscured his elven features.

The sun was nowhere near setting when they arrived in the city. Roche had intended to take him on a date around the city, but didn’t want to admit it.

“I didn’t want to disappoint Geralt by being late.”

“Gwynbleidd would have understood.”

“Well, since we’re already here, we might as well explore the city. I heard of a tavern along the docks with an elven cook. Would you like to go there?”

The mention of food changed Iorveth’s expression immediately and Roche suppressed his laughter.

They dined at the Golden Sturgeon, where Iorveth immediately received preferential treatment from a redhead with freckles (it's Bea btw). She made sure to seat them in a relatively hidden corner and Roche could see the elf progressively relax as his shoulders began to sag. He even spotted the hints of a smile dancing on his lips when she put some strange fish dish in front of him.

Just when Roche thought that Iorveth was incapable of enjoying himself even more, he became increasingly pliant when they sat down at the Chameleon for a pint while a band played in the background. Roche didn't understand the first thing about music, but his two mugs of ale were enough to get him to keep his reservations.

Besides, he had something really cute to look at.

The elf's cloak was finally down and he could see the tips of his pointed ears twitch with every beat of the drum. He thought about how nice it would have been to pin him down to the bed and toy with his ears. His eyes trailed across the elf’s neck. If they didn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow, he would have left bite marks across that smooth skin.

<em>Mine,</em> he thought, and he wanted the world to know once all this was over.

“You play the recorder don’t you,” Roche asked out of the blue. Their eyes met and Iorveth was slightly startled by the intensity of his gaze, but he didn’t back down.

“Yeah. There’s been too much going on recently and I haven’t had the chance to though.”

“You can practice with mine tonight.”

“Vernon,” Iorveth warned with a glare, and then quickly glanced around the room to see if anyone was within earshot. There wasn’t, but the tension in his body didn’t leave.

“I could polish yours all night too, you know.”

The elf flinched and could see the pink develop along the tops of Iorveth’s high cheekbones and the tips of his ear. Past his flustered expression however, there was a particular heat blossoming in his eyes. Roche didn’t let up, his curiosity driving him to see just how much he could take it.

“My carrying case is a bit small, but I’m sure yours will fit in with a bit of a shove."

This time, Iorveth couldn't resist the urge to push back. Dandelion's tavern was filled with his regulars who were deep in their own conversations, and they were just talking about music, right?

"So you admit that my instrument is bigger."

"Well the quality of the instrument doesn't matter if the musician has no idea how to handle it."

"I think we've proven that I'm the better player though."

"Our last few encounters haven't exactly been skewed in my favour and I still managed."

"There is no fairness in music and in battle. You should know this, <em>Commander</em>."

The way Iorveth said the word made his mouth go dry.

Now <em>that</em> was truly unfair, and his [banana] agreed. He was seconds away from tugging Iorveth upstairs when the doors swung open and in stepped the white wolf.

"Geralt!" he called out and waved a hand.

"Nice to see you both. I hope you didn't wait long."

The witcher took a few steps towards them, sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose. He had this resigned look about him and Roche immediately knew that he could smell their arousal.

"Let's drink in my room," Geralt suggested and grabbed four mugs of ale from a passing waitress. She protested at first, but nodded and flashed him a huge smile when she saw who he was.

They headed up the stairs and Roche had to try very hard not to openly stare at Iorveth's ass. It [eggplant] and he had no choice but to stare ruefully at the ground.

As soon as he saw that the second floor was empty, he reached out and pinched the elf's behind. Iorveth jumped at the touch and almost spilled his own mug of ale, and Roche was treated to one of those embarrassed glares. They quietly ascended another flight of stairs and neared the room, and Roche could feel his heart race and his breathing grow ragged.

Finally, after two weeks of planning and trying to fit all the pieces together, it was happening. It had been a year since Dol Blathanna and months since they started seeing each other, and Roche was raring to go.

Geralt opened the door to a suite on the top floor that was exactly as he described: a small living area with a table for four and a few sparse furnishings, though it was far more comfortable than the arrangements he was used to. Partitioned off by a wall and door was a bedroom mostly occupied by a sizable bed and more pillows than he could count. A decision made by the bard, no doubt.

As soon as the door closed behind them and they set down their mugs, Roche grabbed Iorveth’s collar and shoved him towards the bedroom. The elf looked mortified and nearly lost his footing, but he recovered within the span of a few steps. He grabbed Roche’s arms and plucked them off him, then tried to shove him backwards but Roche held his ground.

“What the fuck, Roche?!”

Roche took a step back and considered Iorveth’s anger. The elf's gaze had grown sharp and alert, but he was mostly just shocked at the audacity of his actions. He just flashed him a devious smile and was returned a twitch of confusion.

“What? Didn’t you always like roughhousing me on the forest floor?”

“Not in front of Gwyn-”

Roche barely gave Iorveth a chance to answer. He charged forward, wrapped an arm around the elf’s waist, and threw him straight into bed. Iorveth went flying into the mattress with a groan and Roche climbed straight into his lap. Heavy footsteps thudded behind them and stopped by the door.

“Oil’s on the nightstand. Don’t get the sheets dirty and take your shoes off before you get in bed dammit. I can’t afford to pay for new sheets too.”

“Gwynbleidd, what is the meaning of this.”

“Just a little gift from me to the both of you. Have fun, Iorveth. Just try not to make too much noise.”

The door behind them closed and Iorveth just stared blankly at Roche, who was already taking off his top. No words came out of the elf’s gaping mouth, so Roche blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Enjoying the date so far?”

“Explain yourself Roche, I’m not-”

The elf had to pause when Roche began grinding in his lap. It worked until it didn't, and Iorveth grabbed onto his hips to still them. Roche just wanted to get to the fucking already, but the elf refused to be distracted no matter how much he tried.

“Did you plan all this? Coming to my camp to pick me up. Picking flowers for me along the path. Bringing me to the tavern for dinner. Having drinks. This fake meeting with Gwynbleidd.”

“Of course. When else was I going to get the opportunity to take you out on a date?”

Something in Iorveth cracked visibly and Roche went dead still with nervousness. The other lowered his gaze and Roche cupped his face in his hands, desperate for his elf to be okay. He stroked his cheek gently and tilted his head up to try and get a better look at that unreadable expression. This was the opposite of what he hoped would happen and worry began to pool in his stomach.

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong. Talk to me,” he urged and placed a peck on the scarred cheek. There was no answer, so he continued fluttering kisses along his jawline. He felt like his world might come crashing down at any moment and resisted the urge to salvage the situation before he knew what was going on.

It felt like Iorveth was cycling through a thousand and one emotions. He cupped the elf's face in his hands and pulled back, where he was greeted by a vulnerability he had never seen before. The other had this dazed and awed look in his eyes, and if Roche wasn't so flustered by the sudden change of pace, he might he caught his surrender.

“Vernon…”

“I’m here. What is it? You can tell me.”

“It’s just...overwhelming.”

“In a good way or bad way?”

“Good way.”

Roche released the breath he didn’t realise he had been holding. It was nice that the reaction was somewhat positive, but Roche’s poor heart couldn’t take the anticipation. Surprising Iorveth was turning out to be quite bad for his health.

“Well. Have you enjoyed yourself?”

“Mmn.”

“It's okay. We'll take it at your pace.”

“I just... need some time to process this. I’ve never been treated like this before. It's overwhelming.”

“Well you deserve it. Take the time you need, it’s okay,” Roche encouraged again and placed another peck on his nose as he undid the bandanna that obscured half his face.

This really wasn’t how he thought the evening would go, but he had to admit that it was nice. At the core of it, all he really wanted was to be able to kiss and hold Iorveth intimately without fear of someone catching them. Now they were in bed and there was someone trustworthy to watch their backs, he supposed he had achieved his goal. Maybe they could just hold off the fucking for a while more.

“Do you want to take a nap with me,” Roche offered after they'd sat in silence for a while.

“Yeah… I would like that very much.”

Iorveth tried to take off his cloak, but Roche shushed him and pushed his hands aside. The elf had a blank look on his face and hurt momentarily flashed across his eye.

"Let me," Roche rushed to salvage as he pulled loose the strings on his cloak.

“I can undress myself you know.”

“I know you can, but just let me pamper you a bit more.”

The tips of Iorveth's ears were bright red and Roche suppressed the urge to tease him about it. Slowly, he helped the elf strip down to his underwear and slipped him beneath the sheets. Then he took off his own garments and joined him, snuggling up to that warm and slender body that seemed to fit so perfectly with his.

Yeah, he could wait.

[stab-the-son-of-a]

Whumpers Only

I wish I could explain how this got away from me but I have no words. Not quite a caretaker, so, sorry anon, but here you go.

CW: Brief drug and alcohol mention

The itemized call history that crossed Detective Vance’s desk is deceptively extensive and several pages thick, despite being only for a few months’ span of time. Forensics still have their hands all over the cell phone itself, and the detective has a few choice words they could say about the forensic team’s work ethic, but they’re not in the practice of layering their insults in honey. Their bread and butter is to to dig and root around for information, like some sort of truffle pig, and their tongue is regularly knotted. The detective finds themself quite defective when it comes to spinning the same pleasant, nuanced banter, certainly not enough to keep up with the man down in forensics with the sugar sweet smile.

So, itemized call list it is. It took the detective an obscene amount of time to cross reference the numbers against every possible database and to confirm the pattern to the suspect's behaviors and narrow down which numbers are legitimate. Most of all, which of these numbers matches the spurious rumor of a hotline.

A ‘whump’ hotline. There are many, many similar mentions in certain circles and apparently coded messages sent through various forms of advertising, and yet, this is the closest Jesse has come to interacting with that sphere. They’re not sure, but they think that might be why they still can’t bring themself to finish dialing.

The information has always been there, readily accessed in the same sort of way drugs and alcohol are accessible - a thinly veiled barrier, a little social based pressure to avoid or partake depending on the circles. For years, Jesse has been a teetotaler and avoided whump content in any respect, and kept that influence from their life.

It’s odd to abandon that part of their life, that internal badge of never having indulged.

It’s for a case, however, so they finally stop their waffling and dial.

Not long after, on the second ring, someone picks up. “Hello and thank you for calling 1-877-WHMP-NOW, the whump specialist hotline.” The person on the other end, an operator of some sort, offers a friendly greeting.

Off balanced by just how cordial the other person sounds, Jesse hesitates a moment to collect themself. They just have to pretend to want to be a whumper. That couldn't be too hard. “Um…” they mumble, then clear their throat. “Um, hi, I... want to learn to whump. My name is-”

“Oh. Excuse me, I’ll have to place you on hold while a representative finishes with another client.”

The cheery hold music is far more underwhelming than anything else and Jesse frowns at the phone, as if it’s the device’s fault, before sighing and settling on their couch, one leg tossed over the arm while they wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Eventually they start mirroring the words of the automated voice recording, interjecting with their own commentary in the brief pauses between statements.

“All our lines are busy at the moment.”

“And here at Whump Corp or whatever these moments last a lifetime,” Jesse snorts as they try yet again to find another position on the couch. Their curly hair serves little by way of cushioning from the carpet as they sit upside down. The phone sits a few inches away from their head, speakerphone enabled, and Jesse crosses their hands over their stomach and their ankles behind the back of the couch.

Undeterred, because of course, the message continues, “Please remain patient. Your time is very important to us. We will be with you momentarily.”

“Momentarily means for a short period,” Jesse corrects under their breath. It’s a small pet peeve, something that normally wouldn’t have drawn their attention either, but as they hear the same spiel for the dozenth time, it’s like getting the last final small pebble thrown in their face- just enough to burst the dam. "Not in a short period of time."

“We are currently experiencing greater than usual call volume. Continue to hold the line, and you will be connected as soon as possible.”

“How many people can there even be calling at 11am on a Tuesday?” Gravity draws Jesse’s blood into their head until the pressure and dizziness build uncomfortably. They roll off the couch and root around in their mini fridge for a drink. At this volume, they can hear the same three bar hold music repeat yet again, despite the distance. Cracking the seal on their iced tea, Jesse settles cross legged beside the cellphone. “Don’t whump on company time, guys, jeez.”

“Just a moment please, the next available team member will be there for you shortly.”

Letting out a drawn out groan, Jesse lies back and stares up at the ceiling. It’s been hours. “Starting to think I’m waiting for the next available team member to be born.”

Click. Jesse bolts upright, fumbling with the phone and nearly yeeting it across the room in their haste.

“All of our employees are currently busy assisting other clients,” the new voice announces. The faint static and electric tone warns Jesse that they’ve simply stumbled into another robot. “Your call and phone number has just been noted and a representative will call you back as soon as possible. We thank you for your understanding.”

“What?” That doesn’t make any sense. Jesse runs a hand through their curls, only to freeze as the line goes dead. “What?! No! I did not just sit through hours of happy fun time hold music just to get hung up on by a robot!”

Except that’s exactly what just happened.

They stare down at their screen in acute betrayal. What now? Try again? Their number is now in a whump call center database of some sort.

-

Half an hour after the call disconnected, Jesse still hasn’t moved from their position. Their mind is a blur as they try to figure out what it is they really ended up doing- if they would have to explain themself and the call to anyone- their family, friends, service provider, work. They don’t even know if anyone will know, let alone if they will care.

The house is absolutely silent, the muted television still playing in the background as they’d forgotten to turn it off or to return the volume.

Silent until the phone rings. Shock and no small amount of recklessness has Jesse answering the unknown number.

“Hello, and thank you for holding!” It’s the operator from before- Jesse recognizes the faint impediment or accent that sharpens the glottal sound of their h’s.

“I wouldn’t call that holding,” Jesse grumbles.

Either not hearing them, or not addressing their commentary, the operator continues, “At this time, I'd like to let you know that this call may be recorded for quality assurance and training purposes. Please answer the following survey questions.”

“I’ve been on hold for hours and you want me to perform a survey? About what? I haven’t even gotten helped!”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, friend. Were you highly satisfied with your service experience?”

Bewildered, Jesse cries, “No!”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Did you receive the result you needed from your service interaction?”

“What interaction?!” Are they in the Twilight Zone? Are they still speaking English? Did they have a stroke and now they’re mumbling incoherently? What sort of madness was this, an elaborate prank?

“Thank you for your response. Did you receive friendly service?”

“I didn’t get any service! Rude would have been preferable!”

“Your feedback has been noted.”

Jesse groans again and scrubs their face.

“Was our service timely and convenient?”

“Not on your life!”

“Thank you for your responses. Now, would you recommend our service to others?”

They can feel their head pulsing and pounding, a twitch behind their temple and their eyebrow jumping, but as soon as they hang up, their blood pressure begins to lower with a rush of relief.

Their iced tea now room temperature and bitter, Jesse takes a few more sips and leans against the couch, resting their neck against the cushion. “What a disaster,” they sigh.

After a few seconds of blissful silence, their phone goes off again. Swiping the decline button with a vicious smirk, they return to enjoying what more of their day they can.

Said enjoyment ends with another call, and another.

“Fine! Hello?”

“I’m sorry, it seems we were disconnected. Please finish providing your feedback so we can improve our services.”

“My feedback is that this was an exercise is madness! You kept me on hold for over two hours, but you’ve repeatedly called me for a stupid survey when before you couldn’t give me the time of day!”

“I’ve very sorry you were not satisfied with the level of response and attentiveness. You are welcome to try calling again tomorrow-”

“Absolutely no-”

“As I was saying, Mx. Vance, you may call the hotline again tomorrow during regular business hours. Thank you for completing the survey and for calling 1-877-WHMP-NOW. Have a whumpderful day!”

“A pun?” Jesse tosses their phone to the couch and storms off to the bathroom to wash the rage and boiling heat from their face. “All that for a stupid pun?!”

-

Over at the call center, Gladys and Fran sit huddled around the phone, Gladys actually sitting on the desk and perched precariously on the edge. The speaker button still flashes from the abrupt disconnection.

“Did you hear them?” Gladys roars with laughter, holding her aching ribs. It took everything in her willpower and then some to keep quiet, both while listening to the detective while they were on hold, but especially while Fran spoke with them. Now free, she lets loose, uncaring of who else hears her. “Oh God, oh man, I’m gonna bust a rib. Babe, you’re the best.”

“I’m actually proud of that pun. Like, really proud.” Fran takes out their pen and quickly scribbles that one down.

“Uhhh, Fran, I’m pretty sure Craig in finance already-”

They raise up one finger imperiously and continue to write. “Let me have my moment, Glady-girl. Just this once.”

Smiling, she rolls her eyes and slides off the desk. “Since you gave me the best lunch break surprise ever, want to head down to the cafe?”

Fran takes a final quick look at their work space, how messy and disorganized it is now that it’s no longer Gladys’s chair, considers the amount of time left in their shift and how long this high of a well played prank might last, and wheels back from their desk. “Lead the way!”

“Oh, no, you’re my hero,” she insists, dramatically bowing to allow them to go ahead of her. The angle is perfect for a quick peck on the cheek before they make their way down the corridors.

[saltywhovian]

seven minutes in heaven is hard when there’s four people in the closet

Marinette loved Alya. She was her best friend, her confidant, her rock. But Marinette was going to strangle Alya. She was going to murder Alya, ressurect her, and then murder her again. If she made it out of this closet without being suffocated to death. But hey, being suffocated during Seven Minutes in Heaven is such a good way to die. 

                                                  Earlier

“Marinette! I’m having a little sleepover tonight, nothing fancy, just a few friends, some chips, some bad movies, will you pleaaaase come??” 

Marinette glances over at Alya, who is practically down on her knees begging Marinette to come to the sleepover. “Alya, I-” Marinette makes eye contact with Alya, who has become the literal definition of puppy eyes. Marinette sighs, and grabs her phone. “You know what, I deserve a night off. I’ve been working myself too hard. Let me ask my parents.”

After getting a positive answer from her parents, Marinette gives Alya a thumbs up. Alya squeals, and throws her arms around Marinette. “Girl, you won’t regret it!”

“Okay weirdo,” Marinette chuckles. “Let me finish this homework.”

As Alya walks away, she grins to herself. 

She goes up to Nino and Adrien, and after planting a big kiss on Nino’s cheek, she turns to the boys. “Hey, I’m having a sleepover, do you two want to come?”

Nino nods, and Adrien furrows his brow. “I’ll have to clear it up with Nathalie and my father,” 

Alya interrupts him with a grin. “Uh-uh my friend. I already got approval from Nathalie. You can check with her right now.

Adrien, who is even more confused, pulls out his phone, dialing Nathalie. 

“Hey, um, Alya invited me to a sleepover, and-” he stammers.

“Yes, I am aware of Ms. Cesaire’s get together. You already have your father and I’s consent to attend. But of course, it is your choice on whether or not you go.” Nathalie responds.

“No, no, I want to go! Th- Thank you Nathalie.”

“Have fun Adrien.”

Adrien turns to Alya, amazement in his eyes. “How? Just- how??” 

Alya walks away dramatically, calling over her shoulder, “A magician never reveals her secrets.”

After inviting Alix and Rose, Alya goes to Juleka. “Hey girl, I’m having a little sleepover tonight, do you and your brother want to come?”

Juleka smiles, and shoots a text to Luka. “He would love to come.”

Alya smiles slowly. And that makes four.

You see, Alya was smart. And although everyone except for Adrien knew about Marinette’s “little” crush, Alya knew there was more. Because whenever Kagami was around Adrien, Marinette would get jealous whenever they touched each other. Not just if Kagami initiated the touching, but if Adrien did too. And whenever Marinette was with Luka, they were gentle, they were the same in a quiet kind of way.

So Alya dug a little more. She grilled Adrien enough to know that he’s head over heels for Marinette, just in denial.  She then accomplished the harder task, figuring out Kagami’s feelings. It took nearly a month of careful plotting, and finally, finally got Kagami to admit that she wanted to take Marinette into her arms, and.. Alya stopped Kagami there. 

And then she dug more. Kagami and Adrien weren’t hard to figure out. And the moments that Luka and Adrien shared were so sweet, Alya thought she might get diabetes. As for Kagami, and Luka? There was definitely something there. It just needed a little push. 

Alya did such a good job figuring this all out, she was considering a career as a detective. So with all this information, what was she going to do?

Well she was going to scheme. But she couldn’t do this by herself. So she enlisted Nino, and then after some careful thought, she pulled Juleka into the planning.

After another two weeks, they had a plan. Operation Seven Minutes was a go.

Honestly, the hardest part was convincing Kagami and Adriens parents to let their children attend a co-ed sleepover. Alya went to Nathalie first. She explained that Kagami would be there, and that they would be doing meditation, to relax and tame their emotions due to stress of everyday life. She said that it would be beneficial and would allow Adrien to focus more on his duties. Nathalie gave her a smile, and told her that Adrien had her permission to attend the sleepover. For Kagami, it involved simply stating that Adrien Agreste would be in attendance, and Gabriel Agreste approved of the affair. Ms. Tsurugi approved immediately. 

So she invited the four, and a few others to create less awkwardness in the room, so she could trick the idiots into a false sense of security. 

Technically the main objective of Operation Seven Minutes was to get the four idiots together, but the true objective was for Alya to live all her shipping fantasies and be as amused as she can possibly be. 

She sends a text to Operation Seven Minutes.

Red -The birds are in the bush

Purple - What?

Green - Everyone’s coming.

Purple - Why couldn’t Alya just say that?

Red - Code names, Purple!

Purple - They’re kinda dumb

Green - She’s got a point, babe

Red - Whatever, whatever. Time for Phase 3.

Evening

Marinette rings the doorbell at Alya’s place, face slightly flushed at her late arrival. Alya opens the door, and pulls Marinette in. “There you are, girl! I got worried for a second that you weren’t coming!”

“I’m so sorry Alya, there was an emergency at the bakery…” Marinette trails off as she takes in the people in the room. Nino and Alix are engaged in fervent conversation that’s no doubt involving some extreme dare, Juleka and Rose cuddling, and…

Adrien, Luka and Kagami all sitting together looking mildly awkward. Scratch that, really awkward. 

Marinette slowly turns to Alya, her face twitching. Before the situation escalates, Alya snatches Marinette’s bag and yeets it into a corner.

“Alright, gather round, gather round!” Alya beckons. “Now that Marinette’s here, we’re going to play Uno!”

Marinette balks at the circle, unsure on where to sit. Kagami tugs at Marinette's sleeve, indicating a spot in between her and Luka. “Sit next to me Marinette.”

Marinette smiles, which the team notices, thanks to a nudge in the ribs from Alya. “O-Okay Kagami.”

Luka makes a small wave at Marinette as she settles in. “I’m glad you’re here, Marinette.”

Adrien leans over from Luka’s other side. “Me too!”

Kagami gently scoots in closer to Marinette, leaning into the conversation. “I as well Marinette. I always seem to enjoy myself when you’re around.”

Marinette is practically speechless, already furiously flushing. Nino, Alya and Juleka fist bump, whispering “Pound it!”

Uno goes better than Alya could ever imagine. Sure Alix is another +4 away from murdering someone, but that was a foreseen circumstance. No, Alya is very pleased because the four have been slowly snuggling closer and closer to each other. And because of how competitive Marinette gets, she is no longer stuttering around anyone. 

Kagami looks at Marinette, her eyes gleaming in regret. “Marinette, I’m so sorry, I have no other card..” She places the +4 card down. “I hope you can find it in your heart to ever forgive me.”

Marinette meets Kagami’s eyes, her own filled with understanding. “It’s okay Kagami, I know you would never willingly betray me. Besides, you’ve given me the perfect opportunity.”

Luka looks at Marinette in alarm, clutching his three card deck to his chest. “Marinette, you couldn’t. You- you wouldn’t!”

Marinette shrugs, looking nonchalant, but a smirk is threatening to break through her casual expression. “I’m sorry Luka, but you are a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

“Marinette, it doesn’t have to be like this!”

“Oh but it does.” She slams the +4 card down on top of Kagami's card. “Uno.”

Luka stares at the card, disbelief taking his body. Adrien rubs his back, mourning the defeat.

Marinette tenderly places a hand on Luka’s face. “I’m sorry it had to be like this. Maybe in another lifetime it would work. But it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.” 

Luka gasps at the touch, much to Juleka’s delight. But before he can respond, Alix leaps to her feet, eyes raging, pillow in hand. “I’ve had enough! This means war!” Alix then swings the pillow into Ninos face, knocking him to the floor. 

The room erupts into chaos. Everyone scrambles to grab a pillow, and attack the foes around them. Adrien immediately jumps in front of Marinette, acting as a human shield. “Marinette stay back!” he yells. “I’ll protect you!” 

On the ground, Marinette looks up at Adrien, who is practically glowing in the fluorescent lighting, framed by feathers floating around them. The moment is ruined by Adrien being shunted to the couch by a pillow to the ribs. Marinette rushes to his side and clutches his hand. “Adrien! Are you okay?”

He looks up to her, and hands her his pillow. Marinette nods, determination in her eyes. “I’ll avenge you.” 

She rushes into battle, the power of the past Ladybugs flowing through her veins. Kagami and Luka, who are currently fighting back to back, can only watch in awe as Marinette, crowned with righteous fury, slams her pillow in Ninos stomach, causing him to fall into Alya.

 “Oh girl I’ll get you for that!” she cries, hoisting her pillow into the air.

In a blink, Kagami rushes to block Alya. While engaged in a furious standoff with Alya, she cries “Luka, now!”

Alya looks back to see Luka leaping into the air with his pillow above his head.

From the couch, Adrien yells “Finish her Luka!”

And finish her he does. With one final blow, Alya is struck to the ground. The battle ends with Luka and Kagami flanking Marinette, while their friends lay fallen around them. 

Rose looks up, and starts laughing. “I think that’s a good segway to pajamas, huh?” 

Marinette fidgets with her pajamas, displeased with her selection. She had picked them based on the thought that it was just going to Alya, Rose and Alix, so she’s wearing a silky tank top and short combo that she made herself. The pink tank top sometimes rides up to show a little stomach, and the shorts show way too much leg than she is comfortable letting Luka, Adrien and Kagami see.  “Alya,” Marinette hisses under her breath. “I cannot go out in this!”

Alya tugs a stubborn Marinette into the other room. “Girl, relax. Once you see what everyone else is wearing, you’ll calm down.”

Marinette doesn’t exactly calm down, per say. She doesn’t really notice what Alix and Nino are wearing, but sees that Rose and Juleka are matching. But she stops right in her tracks when she sees her crushes. 

Kagami, who is watching Luka and Adrien squabble, is wearing the prettiest red nightgown Marinette has ever seen. It’s big and billowy, falls right above her knees, and the puffy sleeves give Kagami this innocent yet beautiful look. Kagami rushes to Marinette’s side, clutching her arm. Marinette is trying, and failing to ignore how Kagami's fingers feel against her bare skin. 

“They’re fighting because they’re matching,” Kagami whispers into Marinette’s ear. 

Marinette finally looks at Adrien and Luka, and almost faints. Luka and Adrien are both wearing Ladybug onesies, both with hoods and feet, and are in a heated argument over the matching.

“I’m just saying that you should change because I’m the biggest Ladybug fan.” Adrien argues. “I’m literally Chat Noir- I mean in the animated movie.”

“Any true fan knows that the movie sucked,”  Luka counters. “Just because you are ‘Chat Noir’,” he mocks with air quotes, “Doesn’t entitle you to the title of the biggest Ladybug fan.”

Marinette whispers back to Kagami, “I should probably intervene before this cat fight gets ugly.” Shouldering her way inbetween the onesie clad boys, she gives both of them a stern glare, silencing them. “Boys, you’re both pretty. Besides, I think Chloe wins that title. She literally has an expensive Ladybug cosplay, wig and all.” 

The boys nod in agreement, mostly distracted by Marinette’s choice in pajamas. Luka hates to prove the “boys are distracted by girls shoulders” stereotype, but he cannot stop staring. There’s something about the dip from her next to the shoulder that just makes him…

“Alright, losers, let’s play some truth and dare!” Alix’s challenge breaks the spell. The boys and Marinette sit down where they are, and Kagami joins them at Adrien’s side. “Alright, Rose, truth or dare?”

Rose blinks at the question, weighing the options. “Truth!”

“If you could kiss anyone in this room, who would you kiss?”

Without any hesitation, Rose blurts out “Juleka!” 

Juleka, who is settled in at her side, slowly turns to Rose, her face the same shade as Rose’s pjs. “Um, really?”

Rose, who is also bright pink, nods, and pulls Juleka into the hall. The rest of the room sits in silence until the two come back a few minutes later. 

Juleka breaks the silence. “We’re dating now.” 

The room, once again erupts into chaos. Luka rushes to his sister, crying about how proud he is, Alix to Rose saying that it’s all thanks to her. In the chaos, someone bumps into Marinette, causing her to tumble right smack into Kagami. Thanks to some cruel twist of misfortune, Marinette’s hands… are dangerously close to where they shouldn’t be. Marinette flings herself back, stammering out apologies, but Kagami silences her with a hand and a smile. 

“Marinette, I know you would never purposely do anything to me,” Kagami assures Marinette. “You are pure and true. That’s why..” 

But Kagami never finishes her sentence. With a roar, Alya silences the room. “Okay, we can all agree that we all just witnessed something beautiful. Now let’s get back to Truth or Dare.” She peers around the room, eyes landing on Adrien. “Adrien, truth or dare?”

“Uh… dare?” the blonde answers.

“I dare you to sit in Luka’s lap until dared to move.”

Adrien is practically red. “I, uh, erm…”

Alix whoops, “You’ve got to do, blondie. A dare’s a dare!”

So Adrien makes his way over to Luka. “Are you okay with this, Luka?” Adrien asks, desperate to not be placed in this situation.

Luka, who most definitely wants to be placed in this situation, shrugs, trying to hide his excitement. “Yeah.” he pats his lap, wiggling his eyebrows at Adrien. “Sit down, Monsieur.”

Adrien slowly drops himself into Luka’s lap, gently moving until he’s comfortable. 

Alya sneakily takes a picture. 

After a few more truths and dares, it’s Juleka’s turn to ask. “Marinette, truth or dare?”

After a few seconds of thinking, Marinette answers “Dare.”

“I dare you…” Juleka makes a huge show out of thinking up a dare, but the one she has is one memorized from Alya’s meticulous planning. “To give Luka a kiss on the nose.” 

Adrien looks at the two, who are starting to look like Ladybug’s costume, and asks “Do I have to move?”

Juleka shakes her head. “Stay where you are.”

Marinette sputters, but makes her way over to Luka and Adrien. Leaning past Adrien, who melts at the feeling of Marinette breathing by his ear, Marinette locks eyes with Luka. “I’m going to kiss you now,” she whispers. He nods, and Marinette brushes her lips onto the tip of his nose. Luka cannot control the sigh that escapes him. Marinette pulls back and returns to Kagami’s side, who straightens up, and looks to Adrien.

“Adrien, truth or dare?” Kagami asks him. 

“Uh, dare I guess?” Adrien answers, intimidated by her intensity. 

“I dare you to sit in my lap.”

You can hear a pin drop.

The team was not expecting the operation to go this well. 

“You heard her right, Adrien.” Rose chimes. “Go sit in her lap!”

Luka, who is very reluctant to give up Adrien, watches as he goes, and settles into his second lap of the evening. Kagami leans forward into his back, and whispers into his ear, “I missed you.” 

Adrien thinks he is going to die. 

This time, Nino takes the picture.

After another round that results in Alix reliquenshing her hat to a very delighted Rose, Alya takes the reins. “Luka, Kagami, I dare you two swap pajamas. One of you can change in my bathroom, the other in my bedroom.”

Lukan and Kagami make eye contact, an unspoken message coursing through the room. Kagami taps Adrien’s lower back. “I’ll be back.” 

He stands up, sitting with a very delighted Marinette, allowing Kagami and Luka to go to Alya’s room. Once in the room, Kagami closes the door and turns to Luka. Luka is the first one to break the silence. “What’s your game at?”

“What game?” Kagami drawls, not breaking the stand off. 

“Well, I just found it odd that you dared Adrien to sit in your lap while Marinette was right there, and you’ve been glued to her side all evening.”

“I do not hesitate, Luka. I know what I want, and I get it.”

Luka raises his hands in a sign of peace. “Hey, I’m not trying to start a fight or anything. I’m just trying to figure out if we’re on the same page.”

“What page, Luka?”

“Do I really have to spell it out?”

Kagami’s silence is all the answer he gets.

“Fine, fine. Listen, I’m in love with Adrien and Marinette, and I’m almost positive that you feel the same.”

“You are correct about almost everything.”

“Almost?”

“You failed to account that I might be in love with you.”

“Oh.”

Kagami raises an eyebrow. “Oh? I confess to you and all you have to say is oh??” 

Luka backtracks, trying to explain himself, but Kagami interrupts. “It’s okay. I’m not going to be selfish.”

“No, no no!  You’ve got me all wrong, Kagami!” Luka slides a hand through his hair. “You’re like, part of my harmony. The four of us, we’re like a four part harmony. I… need all of the chords to sound good.”

Kagami gasps, a blush dusting across her cheeks. “Oh!”

Luka chuckles, and Kagami shoots him a glare. “The irony is not lost on me. However, the main issue at hand here is the fact that we’re being set up.”

“Definitely. But, I’m not mad about it..”

Kagami raises an eyebrow. “Hm?”

“Well, think about it. Do you think we would’ve ever figured it out on our own? I lo-love all of you, and you’re probably the smartest of us all, but we’re kinda dumb. Marinette will figure out if given many many hints, and Adrien…”

Luka falters, not wishing to insult Adrien, but continues. “When it comes to crushes, Adrien’s about as smart as a rock. Not like a cool rock. Just a rock.”

Kagami snorts at the comparison, and turns to Luka, smirking. “I say we play along, and enjoy ourselves. Besides, whatever’s going on,” She laces her fingers into Luka’s, who is smiling, and squeezes her hand back. “It already led me to you.”

“Let’s finally complete the dare, huh?”

Kagami nods, and they split to change, fingers touching until the very last second. 

When Kagami and Luka leave, the sitting arrangements have slightly changed. Alya and Nino are cutely snuggled up. Alix is sprawled on top of their laps, smirking at Adrien and Marinette. Alya sees the pair, and motions to be quiet. Adrien and Marinette are holding hands, red as Adrien’s onesie. Their feet are brushed up against each other, and Marinette is very pointedly not looking at Adrien.  

Marinette would later swear she felt Adrien purring. 

Kagami leans over to Alya, whispering, “Where are Juleka and Rose?”

Alya whispers back, “Alix dared them to play Seven MInutes in Heaven, which should be up right….” A timer beeps off, and Rose and Juleka stumble out of the coat closet, mildly disoriented but both foolishly smiling. 

Luka and Kagami make eye contact, an unspoken thought passing among them. Marinette finally notices Kagami and Luka and squeaks when she sees them. She’s mostly excited about how cute Kagami looks in the ridiculously oversized Ladybug onesie, but her and Adrien quickly notice the nightgown on Luka falls smack in the middle of his thighs. Both Adrien and Marinette fight an urge to touch his legs. 

Alya wiggles her eyebrows, and nudges Nino, who grabs Juleka’s attention. They all know it’s time for the final phase of Operation Seven Minutes. It’s perfect that Alix already made a segway to having people playing it, really, this is going way too well. “Hey Marinette, you haven’t had a turn in a while. Truth or dare?”

Marinette chuckles, somehow miraculously still holding Adrien’s hand, decides “I’m feeling a dare.”

Time to go for the kill. “I dare you to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with someone of your choice.”

Marinette looked ready to murder Alya. Twitching hands, and a very fake smile. Nino jumps in, as according to plan, in case Marinette couldn’t pick. “C’mon Alya, don’t make her pick! She’ll take so long, that we’ll all be 80. I’ll pick.”

“NO!” Marinette practically screeches. “No. No. Alya dared me to pick, and so I’ll pick.” She doesn’t pick. 

After a minute that felt like an hour, Juleka speaks up. “I have an idea. How about Marinette goes in the closet, and whoever wants to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with her will follow. Anyone opposed?”

When no one speaks, Marinette nods, and shuffles off to the closet. As she sits in there, her mind begins to race. Why is no one coming? It’s because no one likes you, you should’ve just picked Alya and hugged her for 7 minutes..

While Marinette worries outside, her friends sit in silence. Suddenly, Kagami stands up and rushes to the closet. Luka leaps up, hot on her tail. After a few seconds, Adrien jumps up, and scrambles after the two, muttering “Crap, crap, crap!”

Alya, Nino and Juleka just stare in amusement, and Rose and Alix...are going to need a moment.

Before Marinette can spiral any more, Kagami slams the door open, then attempts to lean on the door nonchalantly. “Uh, hey-” she’s promptly interrupted by Luka's body slamming into her, causing both of them to fall in with Marinette. She squeaks as they both fall in, and if it wasn’t awkward already, Adrien also trips and stumbles in. Alya makes no time in quickly shutting the door, and the fours eyes widen hearing the lock click. “Seven minutes starting now, have fun!”

Marinette is the first to speak up. “So, um, all of us are in here. In here, in this closet, for s-seven m-m-minutes in heaven. Hm, hm, so I uh, hm..”

Marinette is so cute that the three might die. 

Kagami smiles. “Marinette, may I?” Marinette cues her with a nod. “I believe that Marinette is pointing out the fact that we all wanted to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with her, a party game for the sole purpose of making out. I know that I would love to make out with Marinette.”

Luka nods in agreement. “Same here.”

Marinette is a squeaky, blushy mess. They all turn to Adrien.

He is blushing just as bad, if not worse than Marinette. “Y-yeah…” 

Marinette almost faints. “I, um, would like to uh, make, make, um up, no out, with all of you too.” 

Kagami, who would later claim that she already knew this and just wanted the others to know, lets out a faint “Yes!”

“Erm.. Continue.”

Marinette nods. “I, um, also, notice, that you guys, all kinda, you know, um, like each, each, other, and  I um, like, want to sugg- suggest,”

Luka tries to rub her back to encourage her, but because of how small the closet is, he ends up being squished a little too close to Marinette, with his face mere inches from Adrien’s.

Adrien is going to give Alya the entire Gabriel fortune. He’s going to give her the entire company. 

“I-” she gulps. “I would like to suggest us, being in like, a poly group. Only, only if everyone's okay with it, and I know we would have to work out all the kinks-”

Marinette is quickly silenced by a swift kiss from Kagami. While the two girls kiss, Luka and Adrien are both trying to decide to get jealous, or kiss each other. Kagami takes her sweet time pulling away, and whispers, “I would love to date you. All of you. If-if you’ll have me.”

Surprisingly, Adrien speaks up. “It would be a dream to date all of you. I, have to admit, I loved Marinette first, deep down, and then Luka and Kagami came into my life, and I’ve, I’ve never been the same.”

Everyone looks to Luka, who lets out a hearty chuckle. “Of course I want to date you guys! All of you are my harmony. My beautiful, beautiful harmony.”

Marinette looks up at all of them,  tears brimming in her eyes. “I love you guys!”

“We love you too Marinette!”

“You know,” Luka mentions, wiggling his eyebrows at Adrien. “Alya shoved us in here to play Seven Minutes, and those seven minutes are ticking by…”

Outside, Alix glances over to Alya. “Did you set the timer?”

“Oh no!” Alya gasps, most definitely insincere. She makes a huge show out of picking up her phone, and pretending to be surprised that the timer isn’t set. “I’ll just set it to seven minutes now. I just hope they don’t mind!”

Nino rolls his eyes, snaking an arm around his girlfriend. “I’m almost positive they won’t babe.”

After the actual seven minutes, Alya finally unlocks and opens the door. “Times up,” she calls, “I hope you guys weren’t too..” All four of them topple out of the closet, tangled and flustered. “Uncomfortable.” she finishes with a smirk.

Marinette smiles, stands up, dusts herself up, and pulls up her girlfriend and boyfriends, kissing each of their cheeks. “We managed.” 

Later that night

“M’lady,” Chat Noir calls, settling next to her on the Eiffel Tower. “It’s 1 am, are you okay?”

“No, yeah! I’m actually great!” she assures him. “I called you here to tell you something. So, you know how I kept rejecting you?”

“Yeah, about that-”

“Wait. Just, let me finish, kitty. I’m dating the boy now, and I’m also dating two other people that I really love, and I thought was a rival for me to the boy, and the other boy the boy thought was his rival and I’m telling you this because you’re my friend and my partner..”

And in that moment, a fog is lifted from his mind. He places his hand on Ladybug’s shoulder, and whispers, “Marinette?”

“How-” and the fog is lifted from her as well. “Adrien?”

He pulls, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. They pull each other into a deep hug, and sob into the night. 

“Of course it’s you,” Adrien cries into Marinette’s shoulder. “It’s always been you.”

They share a tear soaked kiss, weighted down by each other, by their love for each other, by their love for the two still with Alya. 

Marinette stands up, and pulls Adrien to his feet. “Let’s get back before Luka and Kagami notice we’re gone.”

They’ve already noticed, but they will let the duo tell them on their own time. For now, they just let the two snuggle in close, and hold them tight. After all, that’s what love is. Trust. 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltywhovian

[kimshavacado]

Dead Heat Ch. 9

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: Arranged Marriage/Mafia AU

Summary: Three extremely powerful families with enough power to bring down entire governments, all with vastly different views on how things should be run. The Min family thinks everything can be solved with money, the Jeon family think everything can be solved with violence, and the Kim family relies more on thought which leads to a lack of action. When Kim Y/N loses her father, she only has one way to save herself and her family. But it involves having to give herself over to a stranger. How the hell is she not supposed to punch him in his stupid rich face?

Dead Heat Masterlist

Warnings: Well this is the one where they have unprotected sex. So... yeah.

A/N:  Welp. Here you go. I couldn't stand to reread it so I hope it's adequate. I'll see you all in hell.

Chapter 9: Don’t You Want Tea?

Jimin has done a lot less thinking lately. At least when it comes to thinking about you. Since his failed attempt to reach out to you, his mind has been dwelling on simpler things. Overthinking had always been your job, so he wasn't used to feeling a loss of purpose. If he wasn't there for you, what was he even doing here? Sitting on the rail of the fire escape of the loft he's currently squatting, he thinks instead about the distance in between himself and the ground. It's only about 15 meters, but plenty far enough to do some damage should he fall. The question is whether or not it would hurt. His optimism says that it won't, and that his relief would be immediate. Would you even know if he did? Maybe eventually, but by then would you really care? "If you're gonna jump, make sure you tell me first. Someone's gotta clean it up." Hoseok says from inside. It's meant to be a joke, but neither of them laugh. "I'm not gonna jump." Jimin responds, annoyed. He takes one last look at the ground before throwing his legs back over to the correct side and hoping down. "You haven't been checking your phone, have you?" Hoseok says. "We gotta go, the war is afoot!"

To save yourself from the embarrassment of waking up with Yoongi after last night, you yeet yourself out of bed as soon as you're conscious. The sun has just come up so you decide to wander around the house. When you come across a patio that you weren't able to see last night, you slide open the doors to meet the cold morning air. The cool breeze and soft light from the low sun give off a mood just ethereal enough to take your mind off of everything. You lean over the rail of the patio that overlooks the downslope of a hill that the house appears to be built on. Honestly, these are your favorite kind of mornings. Warm sheets, cool air, bright sun, nice views, the only thing that's missing is a good cup of tea. While your wrapped up in your appreciation of your surroundings, you don't notice the man who has joined your company. In his search for you, he finds the patio door ajar and leans against the frame to observe you in your natural habitat. You appear to be relishing in the pure bliss of the moment and Yoongi can’t help but think that he could get used to mornings like this.

This is what brings Yoongi to start thinking about your relationship. He’s always been someone who other people find to be cold and unmoving, and he used to think that you thought this way about him too, at least that’s what he’d gathered from all the times you’ve yelled at him. But sometimes you can be warm, kind, and unconditionally accepting of him, which is something that he’s never been able to say about anyone in a long time.

And that scares the living hell out of him.

Both of you live in a world where things don’t generally work out in anyone’s favor, and hell, he’s not even sure how you feel about him when you’re sober, but looking at you on the patio right now feels like a little slice of peace in the messy pie that is his life and he never wants that peace to end. Of course, that’s not a completely realistic sentiment but that doesn’t mean that you two can’t try.

In his frustration, Yoongi unintentionally lets out a small sigh that gets you to turn around abruptly. Now, the appropriate response would probably be to awkwardly apologize and dip out of the doorway as soon as possible, but Yoongi must be having some sort of an out of body experience because he kind of just stands there with his mind blank and mouth open for a second. You too have a knack for awkward silence, so you stand there and stare at his dumb face.

He seems to be having a war in his head because he looks away from you and suddenly closes his mouth to gain his composure. And eventually he does apologize for interrupting your morning but he clearly doesn’t mean it because he’s on you in a second. It’s so alarming that you don’t even notice Yoongi is kissing you for the first few moments, but when you do, it only feels natural to reciprocate.

With the sun behind you and Yoongi’s body closing the gap, the cold morning air doesn’t cut your skin as sharply as it did before. In fact, as your kiss deepens, it almost feels like your body is overheating, and you feel this warmth travel down your spine even though Yoongi is barely touching you.

You’re perfectly content to continue, and Yoongi is the one who pulls away, but only a few inches. As you look into his eyes, you feel a tinge of embarrassment sneak up on you. Most of the time that you two have shared your affections you’ve been drunk off your asses.

“Look,” Yoongi pulls you back out of your thoughts. “I’m not really good at these kinds of things.” He gestures in between your bodies. “I know you were thrown into this shitty situation out of nowhere, so I get it if you…like…” He huffs out in frustration and looks away from you. “I don’t know. I just… feel like this could work?” He looks to you expectantly.

You stand in awe of his sudden confession and it feels like all that heat manifests itself again. With your cheeks painted red, the only response that you are able to come up with is to reach out and reconnect your lips. In doing so, you’ve moved the both of you closer to the doorway inside and Yoongi uses this to his advantage. Since your hands are on his face, his take claim over your hips and he spins you around, pinning you against the glass on the open door.

Not so long ago this would’ve felt insane, but all you can think about is how secure you feel under Yoongi’s hold and how you two have waited so long to bond in this way. Again, Yoongi cuts your thoughts short by closing the distance between your bodies. This time, however, his hips sit more firmly against yours and you’re finally able to feel all of him.

It seems impossible, but somehow the kiss gets more intense and it feels like you’ve begun a wrestling match with your tongues and teeth. It must be the pent up frustration from both of you when he left you hanging before. It definitely affects him too because his hands slip a little bit lower and underneath your shirt to feel your bare sides. You gasp into his mouth and he smirks against yours and you swear it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen him do.

You’re starting to get addicted to the shivers he gives you and use his reaction as affirmation, so you move to continue. However, as you reach for the hem of his shirt, you hear a buzzing noise from the house that almost makes you jump out of your skin. When you separate from him, he appears amused at your alarm.

“Relax, I put on a pot of water before. For tea.” Yoongi soothes, and you could swear you’ve never smiled wider.

“Tea? I didn’t know you liked it.” You say, already knowing his response.

“I don’t particularly. But I thought… you’d want it.” It’s a simple thoughtful action but you still have to hold back from crying and ruining the moment. So you attack him with kisses instead, and he has to peel you off of him. “Okay, got it, right move. But I really should get that.”

It makes sense, wouldn’t want the place to burn down after your first night, but when he walks away, you feel his absence. Things between the two of you are definitely going to be different now, so why not keep going. When you walk back inside, you see him taking the water off of the stove and you begin to remove your shirt.

“What are you doing, don’t you want tea?” He asks but you ignore him and continue walking towards the bedroom.

“I’ll be in the bedroom waiting for you to man up and face your emotions.” All you hear is a brief laugh of disbelief as you continue your journey to bed, shedding clothes as you go.

He obviously follows reaching the doorway to the bedroom by the time that you’re left in only your underwear. He doesn’t have much time to look because you’re on him again pulling his shirt up over his head as he backs you up into the bed. When you fall backwards, the cool sheets shock the skin on your back and you sit up to start pulling down Yoongi’s sweatpants.

You are very shocked to find out that he is, apparently, not wearing underwear. You find yourself head to head with him. You admire how pretty he is before looking up at him with mischief in your eyes.

“No underwear? Didn’t expect that from you.” You tease.

“Is that how this is gonna go? Cause I’m not sure you want to play that game.” He warns. Yoongi may appear all tough but you’re like 80% sure he’s just as much a switch as you are. You can’t help but think about what’d be like to ride him so yeah, you do want to play that game.

“I’ll take my chances.” You say as you pull his lips to yours and wrap you legs around his lower half. Yoongi lowers himself over you and you take the opportunity to feel him up. He’s slender but has some firm muscles that start to twitch when your hands glide over them.

He manages to slip one of his hands underneath you and you arch your back so that he can undo your bra. It takes him a moment, but when he reaches the clasp, he helps you slide the straps off your shoulders. He then takes his turn of feeling you up. His hands are on your sides again as his head travels downward toward your underwear. His mouth is wet but his hair tickles your skin more than his tongue or lips.

When he reaches the only fabric that’s keeping you at least a little bit decent, he grabs them hem with his mouth. A strangled sound leaves your mouth as you make eye contact while he pulls off your underwear with just his mouth. Now you have a new definition of the hottest thing. He positions himself back between your legs to look at what he’s just unveiled but you stop him with your hands before he can actually do anything.

“Sweet concept, but if I don’t have you right now, I’ll lose my mind.” He smirks again at this.

“It’s okay, we’ll have plenty of time for that later.” The thought turns you on even more. You scoot up more on the bed until you’re both comfortable and Yoongi looks to you in question. “You okay with this?” He gives you one last chance to back out and you’d be crazy to take it.

“I’m clean, on the pill, and really need this.” You whine out and Yoongi could almost climax from just hearing your whines, without even ever being inside you. He concedes and leans on one elbow in order to maneuver himself to where he need to be. You inhale when you feel him at your entrance and can’t help but smile up at him. You stare at each other as he slowly slips in, inch by inch. When he’s finally fully seated you let out the breath that you didn’t know you were holding and Yoongi moves to embrace you more intimately.

As Yoongi gently rests his forehead on yours you can almost feel your life weaving itself back together again. The weight that’s been left in your soul from all the shit you’ve both had to go through in your lives feels not as deep and hard to carry when you two are together like this. And you know he can feel it too by the sweet kiss he places on your lips.

When you start to experimentally swivel your hips, Yoongi takes the cue to begin moving. The feeling of his length slowly moving against your walls scratches an itch that you’ve been dying to scratch for a long time now and you can’t help but impatiently chase after his hips. After a minute or so, he catches on and pulls out of you before flipping the both of you over and scooting himself up to rest against the headboard.

You immediately reach down to resume and when you sink back down, it hits differently. It’s deeper and almost more intimate. Yoongi’s hands are all over your sides, something he’s gathered that you like from the little gasps that are escaping you. Occasionally, Yoongi makes small grunts against your lips as well, but he seems to not be very vocal. You take a note to have fun with that later.

It feels good to have someone care like this. It’s not just some temporary fix to get your mind off of reality. Yoongi is your current reality and you honestly didn’t think this much emotion could fit into sex. Every time you feel like you couldn’t be closer to each other you’d feel something new and every time you don’t think it could feel any more euphoric it does, until you’re both on the edge, Yoongi focusing his strength on keeping your hips moving at a reasonable speed.

With the angle that you sweep your hips, your clit rubs perfectly against his front and your reaching your high in a matter of seconds later. You stretch your back straight when you do so and Yoongi wraps his arms around your back as he finishes just after you. You collapse with your head in the crook of his neck as he continues to embrace you. You’re perfectly content to continue to lie there until you feel fluid seeping out of you and make an exasperated noise. Yoongi seems to get it as he pulls out making you wince. He kisses your shoulder which remains in front of his face. When you don’t move he offers an incentive.

“Why don’t you go clean up and I’ll finish making that tea?” You move from his neck to kiss him firmly and his hands move delicately across your skin. “That’d be wonderful.”

You and Yoongi spend what you may call one of the best days of your life together. In between the many times that you two make love that day, you talk, eat, bicker, and he even crushes you in mario cart a few times, something that you get payback for in the sheets. By the end of the night, it seems like there is nothing else to be said, and you’re finally hopeful that when you wake up, there won’t be a crushing awkwardness between the two of you.

The concept of having someone to understand you is not something that you’ve had the privilege to come across, but Yoongi makes everything you’ve been through have a purpose. You probably wouldn’t have ended up here if both of your lives weren’t complete shit, and that makes you think.

“What if we met under different circumstances?”

“What, like if I met you and asked you out? I think we’d actually end up here sooner?”

“You still think we’d be here?”

“Yeah. If we met, there’s no way we wouldn’t, even if we resisted. We’re too right for each other.” He looks at you as he says this and you blush a little at his straightforwardness.

“Wow, you sure you aren’t drunk?” You bury yourself in his chest.

“Nope! Just high on life.“

“Please stop talking.”

He obliges and wraps his arm around you before you both fall into a desperately needed slumber. Unfortunately it’s cut short by a phone call a few hours later in the early morning. You have come to associate things like this as bad news. Around 3am, and while off the grid, no one should be calling you with good news. After sharing a worried look, Yoongi reaches over to answer it.

You watch Yoongi intently as he listens to the person on the other line. He lets out a sigh and wipes a hand down his face. He looks stressed and that only escalates your worry. “Are you sure?” He asks through the phone. After a few more moments he looks almost defeated. “Yeah, okay, we’ll be there.” And he hangs up.

“They attacked again.” He says plainly.

“Well I guess it was good we weren’t there then. Did anyone get hurt?” You ask.

“No, Y/N, not our place. They got to Jin and his- your men.” You stare at him with ignorant eyes not trying to accept the possibility of what he’s implying. “They’re all gone.”

“Wait, what do mean, all gone? Like they left or…” You can’t bring yourself to finish because Yoongi is already shaking his head. “I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t think they were capable of it.” And you wish you could hear Yoongi attempting to console you, but all you can feel is the anger bubbling up inside of you. All your people have been ruthlessly slaughtered in the middle of the night and you’d bet your ass that Park Jimin was part of it.

A/N: I have to go dip my computer in holy water now. Stay safe and healthy!

Next Chapter

Tags:  @badbyeyoongi​ @whothefuckstolemykeds​ @xxqueenwxtchxx​ @alecmidnight​ @rjsmochii​ @itsrapmonstanotdancemonsta​ @superarmyofdreamersuk​ @zxlla​​ @1796p​​ @obeythehemmings​​ @betysotelo18​​  @chogiyeol-utopia​ @loonyginger​ @recklesselfless

[lucarioisinthevoid]

ANON THE MAGICAL HERE TO MAKE EVERYONE SUFFER WITH TWO ANNOUNCMENTS. first, henry i hope you will be pleased to know that an alternate version of you claimed mike as its son, and who knows when that nightcore kidzbop addict will come back. and secondly, here's something that happened here before, now with more PHOTOSS *yeets out pictures of the puppetcest wedding before disappearing in a puff of smoke*

(2/5) “I am sorry, you did-“ Henry started, not even knowing what he was supposed to start with. “I can REASSURE you that I never- Mike is certainly NOT what I would like to have as a son- AND DO NOT MENTION THE NIGHTCORE KIDZBOP GUY. DO NOT. I AM ORDERING YOU TO STOP.” “The who?” The Marionette frowned, trying to remember anyone who ever managed to set off this sort of reaction in Miller. This was important information for after the event, if he wanted to give this Pink Pest the pain he deserved- “Do not listen to me and the Anon, pay attention to the image you have been handed. It is rude to ignore such a thing, Marionette.” The Puppet looked at what he had been handed. A wedding indeed. Puppets with long veils and in dress suits. It was all very fancy. One puppet more reddish, one more blueish- He snapped up and stared across the room, to where Vinnie was hovering behind Mary, who was talking to Jerry. The creature was not moving, not twitching, not doing ANYTHING- It had to be on purpose. When Marion did that, it was on purpose to be terrifying. Otherwise he would be slowly floating up and down, ever so slightly moving- “… this image is a fake.” Slowly Henry turned to Marion, giving him a bit of a baffled look. “… yes, Marion, we KNOW you did not marry this other puppet. Do you think there is any doubt about that?” “Well- I mean-“ “However, just because you did not marry this other puppet in THIS reality, it does not mean you did not in another.” Vaguely Henry gestured. “Infinite universes imply the existence of terrible versions of you, as well of godly and amazing versions. You can strive to be your best; however, you will never escape the existence of your worst and most irrational. You should come to term with it.” Glaring at Henry below him, Marion scoffed. “… so, you say you married the nightcore kidzb-“ “SHUT UP!” Before their argument could escalate in any way, Vinnie was suddenly before them, too close for comfort. “… is there   a problem   here   ?” It was a weird way of talking. Just… so chopped. Its eyes were simple, white rings, flickering at the edges. Slowly Marion looked at the photo in his hands again. Yes, there was definitely something wrong here. These didn’t look- the same. Similar, but not the same at all. For one, the machine in front of him had a row of thin, needle-like teeth. “… no. Everything is fine…” The Marionette mumbled. Its stare was so oddly hate-filled. Even when the creature didn’t seem angry. Slowly Marion reached up to his own eyes, feeling along the rim of the holes, wondering if his eyes were shaped like that too- and if looking at him triggered the same sense of discomfort in those around him too. At least- his own mouth looked a little bit friendlier. At least… he was trying to look friendly sometimes. This was Mary’s friend…? Peeking past him, he looked at the girl, who sat with Jerry, seemingly talking about something silly, judging by her face. Before he could think anything more besides that, the other puppet’s face slid in front of his own again, causing him to move back a little. Irritated he checked if Henry was still there- However, the man had retreated to a table further away, watching on. His eyes were focused on both of the puppets with interest. Piece of shit. “You  seem…   very aware.” “It comes with my position in this location.” Dryly Marion responded, desperately trying to cover up his anxiousness. “It   is   rare. At home  they   are like   animals.” The more he talked, the easier the weird breaks were to ignore. They certainly were still there, but Marion’s mind managed to glue the cut parts back together. “… have  you ever  wondered… what it  would  be like if instead of  your  friends… the  guards  you killed  were the ones  accompanying you?” “No.” “Maybe you  should.” The face of the creature twisted into something like a smile. “… its been  so long since I’ve seen a place  so   lively.   Alive.” Marion stepped back, but the other puppet just stepped forward once more, even closer. “Tell.   How  did you do this…?” “I do not wish to talk to you anymore.” “… you  should be careful… they can  turn on you… quickly. You could need  a real friend…” “What the hell are you talking about?!” “You are  not  like them. You pull  strings. Those who don’t… they don’t understand. They  despise instead. We  however… we are more  similar…” “I do not think I have anything in common with you at all-” During their talk, bit by bit the Marionette had moved backwards, with Vinnie moving after in just the right pace to not make his companion realize how FAR he had made it to the back- Until his back hit the wall. Vinnie stared at him, his white rings pulsating. “… all we have  at our place  are puppets. Animals. Robots. It was  them and me. I like it  here. And I think  you are very, very  interesting.” Abruptly Marion showed his own set of teeth, moving up against him, finally causing Vinnie to back off again. “And why is that?! You seem to really like the sound of your own voice, but I am sick of it. Get to the point.” Tilting its head, the blue puppet look at him- Then laughed and unlike his voice, his laugh sounded AWFULLY human and smooth. “… because you have  these claws and teeth…  yet haven’t  raised them once.” “Do you think I can’t?!” “I know you can. That is why I am so… curious.” A timid female voice interrupted them. “Is everything okay? You’ve been talking for a while.” It was someone shut off a light within Vinnie. Despite his eyes still glowing, his whole body went limp, as he turned to the woman- Marion’s claws twitched, thinking he might was- The blue marionette slowly rose his arm, pointing right at the other one, still staring down at Mary. His voice sounded- mentally. But Marion naturally could understand. ‘I want to perform with my new friend.’ “Ah, you’re friends?! That’s great news! Uhm, I guess if we ask the Phone Man- and of course Marion!” She turned with a smile, as Jerry came to join them. “Marion, would you like to perform with Vinnie as your special guest sometimes?” Jerry instantly lit up. “Marion will perform again?!” The tension reached it’s crescendo for Marion, how unsheathed his claws- And then disappeared upwards into the ceiling vent. Confused and concerned Jerry looked up and after him, before turning to Mary. “I- I’m sorry, he’s probably just- I think he’s- I’ll try to find him, maybe something happened to upset him.” Equally as concerned Mary looked up, then at Vinnie. “… you didn’t say anything mean to him, did you?” The puppet simply stared back down, expressionless. That was probably a no. She sighed. “Tell- tell him we’re sorry if we were insensitive in any way.” “I will!” Off to the side, still at his table Henry watched the scene unfolded. His lips were slightly pressed together, as he watched their song and dance- Now his and Vinnie’s eyes met. Henry slimmed his eyes, giving the other puppet a less-than-friendly smile. There was so much he was willing to tolerate in his own location… … however, if it would seem at any point like anyone would try to put a permanent crack into his crew, well- Those kind of people would need a friendly reminder of where they were.

[lamiasluck]

Mimicry

My best friend @emptynarration so lovingly requested more god Edward. So here’s him at his best: an angy doctor boi. Someone saw it fit to dress up as him and impersonate his image for a quick buck. Edward does wear a mask, after all. It’s not the hardest thing to do. Doesn’t end so well for the imposter

Tags: @alvie-ashgrove @theshysepticeye @verse2wo @ferociousfangirlofmanyfandoms @juju-on-that-yeet @m4delin 

Warnings: Injuries, threats, Edward is just very angry it’s spooky

-

It was a peaceful day. For once, Edward wasn’t going around and interacting with the annoying humans. Instead, he found himself relaxing in Author’s and Host’s domain for some quiet time. His mask and cloak was off, leaving him much more ready for leisure. Just a shame things never go as planned. These humans always had nonsense to give him.

Host stiffened in his seat. His bandages became more stained with blood as he grimaced. A vision flashed through his mind. Greed, ignorance, manipulation. He jerked in place, clutching his head once the vision finished. Edward and Author paused their conversation as they noticed. 

“What’s wrong?” Edward asked. 

The vision was quick, but clear in its message. “Imposter...” 

“What?” Edward exchanged a look with Author, who just shrugged. 

This hadn’t happened before. “Just... see.” Host extended his hand and let the strings of fate appear from his fingertips. They went over and gently wrapped around Edward’s head. 

In an instant, Edward saw something back on earth. A man was dressed as him, addressing a crowd of worshippers that didn’t know any better. He had the whole plague getup the doctor had. Very easy to hide one’s identity. No human even knew what Edward truly looked like. They didn’t deserve the privilege of seeing him. 

Edward shot up from his seat and tore the strings away. “How dare they?!” He seethed. The bravery this imposter had to do this. “Damned pest.” He got his mask, stood up and threw his cloak over his shoulders. “Stay here. I’ll deal with this imposter myself.” He was gone with not a second to spare. 

Author and Host let him leave without more trouble. “Will he be okay?” Author asked. 

“More than fine,” Host replied with a grin. He knew what was about to happen. Simply watching would be for the best. 

Back on earth, there was a man preaching to a crowd. “Yes, yes, I’ll grant all you fine people years of good health. I only ask for your finest riches in return.” He was clad in a plague doctor’s outfit he made himself. After some research on the god of health, he managed to make, what he believed to be, an accurate replica of the god. Descriptions varied from legend to legend, but if rarely anyone else saw Edward, then a little error in his costume would go unnoticed. 

Edward shifted into a human disguise, a short man with a messy mop of black hair, and weaved into the centre of the worshipping crowd. He got a good view of the imposter at work. This man’s game was clearly for riches and praise. It was surprising he didn’t try to get the humans to grovel at his feet. Edward had to fight the urge to scowl at the sight.

“Yes, yes, I’ll bless all you fine people with a life of good health,” the imposter said. “All I humbly ask is for compensation for my hard work.”

This guy wasn’t even trying to be authentic. Edward would never speak this nicely to stupid humans, he didn’t care for manners when speaking to those below him. How insulting. His image was being used for such scummy means. Something only these worthless humans could come up with. He wanted to end this man right here and now, but he wanted to wait; might as well get more reason to ruin this man’s life.

The worshippers were spewing their appreciation for such a “blessing.” They prayed to their beloved god. Must’ve been odd to see Edward not saying a word. The actual god merely stared down his double. It became obvious of the tension when the worshippers actually did kneel down to pray more; he stayed standing. 

“My friend,” the imposter noticed his sour attitude, “is there something wrong?”

“The god of Health would never call a human a friend,” Edward responded. These differences were really getting on his nerves now. “Actually, he never visits anyone outside of medical facilities,” he looked around at the street they were in, “certainly not some alleyway in the middle of nowhere.”

Everyone fell silent at the claim. The imposter began getting shifty, easy to tell even with the cheap mask. Edward stood his ground, even crossing his arms and frowning. He would never kneel for such a worm.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Be careful of your words, lest you want damnation.”

Well, that was somewhat like something Edward would say. Not good enough, though. “You’re doing something much worse,” he seethed. “A real god would never lie like this.”

“I’m not lying, you heretic!” the imposter screamed in frustration. “Stop this at once! I will not stand for such blasphemy in my name! A real god would want you out of their sight!” He snapped his fingers as if calling for action. 

Some had the gall to stand up to grab Edward. They held onto his arms, but he continued to stare down the other. With an inhuman strength, he jerked against his captors and stepped forward. “The real god despises you.” He clutched at his sweater’s collar, before pulling it down and revealing his scar. “The real god wants to strike you down where you stand.” His eyes glowed a bright blue. The imposter gasped, stepping back wearily, but it was far too late. The scruffy man Edward made as a disguise was soon gone and replaced with the powerful god everyone knew. His mask couldn’t hide his bright, furious eyes. “The real god is standing before you!”

He stormed up to his imposter and ripped off the mask, showing the imposter’s shocked face. He looked at the mask, “This is a cheap knockoff,” and crumpled it into a heap of worthless fabric. 

The worshippers gasped as the mask was ripped off. They screamed insults at him for betraying their devotion. “I… well, I can explain-!” he tried to reason, but Edward silenced him.

“You’ll pay for this!” Edward grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up in the air. He turned to face the crowd. The imposter dangled in the air, scrambling to explain himself. Or, more accurately, him trying to apologize to the god he ripped the image from. 

“I’m sorry!”

“Shut up!” All the imposter could see was the bright, furious eyes of Edward. The mask wasn’t enough to hide his anger, but at least it was made correctly. “Pathetic. You’re a pathetic worm.” 

The imposter struggled in vain, while the worshippers went down to grovel before their real god. Even the ones that grabbed him, who were near tears with sorrow over manhandling a god. Edward looked at all of them, unimpressed. “I will never visit anyone without reason. None of you deserve the privilege of my presence.” He then glared at the culprit. “And you.” His voice was like a venom.

“I’m sorry!” He was crying by now; weak and mumbling incoherently. 

“I don’t care, worm,” Edward seethed. “How dare you think yourself worthy of mimicking my image? You don’t deserve any title of power, let alone the one I earned through my work. You heretic.” His hand glowed, this time, a darker blue. It looked near black. “The only thing you deserve is the mark of a sinner.” 

The man screamed as a burning mark scorched onto his forehead. A cursed, permanent mark that will tell everyone of his sins; symbolized by a snake. His eyes rolled back as he twitched weakly in Edward’s hold, passed out cold. A now condemned man laid before the fearful onlookers.

“You are nothing. You’re below the maggots that will writhe and feast on your dead body,” he threw him to the ground in front of them, “because you will wish you were dead after all this.” He stepped on his chest and ground his foot in, enjoying how the imposter cried out in his sleep. “I’ll be waiting for you in the afterlife. Then, your real punishment can start. For now, you’re nothing but a husk.” There was no response, so Edward kicked him away and looked at everyone else. “Learn from this pathetic being, or else you will wind up with the same fate.” 

The worshippers looked at the imposter passed out from fear. They understood the message clearly. “We’re sorry, our grace,” one muttered, forehead pressed to the ground. The same ones that grabbed Edward, went over to pick up the heap. They weren’t careful with the body.

“Be more observant next time. Use those tiny human brains for something good for once,” he seethed. “And pray you don’t see me again like this.”

It was a clear message. Everyone cowered before the furious god, unable to look away from his glowing, blue eyes. They would’ve stayed frozen, if not for another warning.

“Leave,” Edward ordered. “All of you.” The worshippers were quick to scramble away, muttering apologies and goodbyes. He watched them leave, before looking at the destroyed mask the imposter wore. “How tacky,” he scoffed as he picked it up. Cheap stitching, ugly material and the wrong frame. It looked like something bought from a costume store.

He deserved better than this. Walking away, he planned on telling Dark about this sin and getting some sort of help. People could only mimic him with his anonymous appearance, but these humans didn’t deserve to see his face. Not after they’ve ruined it. This event would surely send a message to any other minds that were dumb enough to consider this mimicry. A light blue glow surrounded him as he teleported back to the gods. These damn humans were getting too cocky.

[haro-whumps]

Group Whumpees 7: Home

CW: transphobia, shitty family relationships, alcohol and binge eating as a coping mechanism, death ment., slavery, aftermath of abuse, multiple whumpees

Tag list: @bleeding-demon-teeth @theycomeinthrees @redwingedwhump @whimperwoods @inpainandsuffering @whole-and-apart-and-between @whump-whump-whump-it-up @whumpingupastorm @newandfiguringitout @lonesome--hunter @looptheloup @icannotweave  @deluxewhump @whumping-every-day @yeet-me-out-a-window @what-a-whumpy-world @burtlederp @constellationwhump @swordkallya @finder-of-rings @fairybean101 @adventuresofacreesty @arlennil @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight

Masterlist

Galo wasn’t entirely sure of what he expected to happen when his father showed up. He knew he was in deep shit--nobody just hung up on his dad, much less multiple times in a row. Screaming, probably. Ranting and raving, no doubt. So he guessed he was grateful, more or less, to whatever powers that were, that his dad showed up already drunk.

“Hey dad,” he said, forcing a tight lipped smile.

“Hey you piece of shit!” Galo’s father answered, loud and boisterous, but happy. He clapped Galo on the back and jabbed a finger into his chest. “I’ve been callin’ you!”

“Yes, dad, I know.”

“Aaaaahaha, oh shit are those devilled eggs?” 

“Yup, go enjoy,” Galo said, gently pushing his father in the direction of the horderves table and mentally thanking Sasha for making so, so many. Yeah, Galo had requested a lot, on account of him knowing his audience, but thank you Sasha.

“Heeey, lil sibling,” Esther greeted, slinging her arm around Galo’s shoulders. Since his transition, she’d pretty much refused to refer to him in any kind of gendered terms and he’d yet to hear her use, like, pronouns for him. On one hand, yes, it was nice that she didn’t insist on calling Galo a girl. On the other, it had been over a decade.

“Afternoon, Esther,” Galo greeted, “You show up with dad?”

“Yeah, Jeremiah’s parking the car. We pregamed.”

“I noticed.”

“Hey guys!” Jeremiah called.

“Hey lil bro!”

Galo felt his eye twitch, very aware that Esther had no issue calling Jeremiah ‘lil bro’ when Galo was--

It was fine. It was fine. They had a 40 minute service, some time for people to leave flowers and mingle, and then Galo could leave.

“Thanks for doing all this, Galo,” Jeremiah said, and Galo smiled a little more genuinely when he clasped his hand, pulling him into a sorta-chest-bump-ish. The motion, if not the contact itself, was there.

“Yeah. Been a real pain in the ass,” Galo admitted. He did not… get along, necessarily, with Jeremiah. But while he disapproved of Jeremiah’s spoiled nature and entitled actions, Jeremiah’s personality was probably the friendliest of Galo’s family. Definitely used to getting his way, and getting it handed to him on a silver platter (their father treated his “only son” differently than the other two), but not like, a bad dude.

“Luckily, Aunt Jude agreed to do cleanup for me, since she couldn’t help with setup.” Aunt Jude was a fundamentally unlikable person, but she made a mean potato salad and was the most responsible member of their family, with the exception of Galo himself. The phrase “control freak” was not a particularly off-base descriptor for her, and Galo knew she’d be plucking at everything “wrong” with what Galo had done in setup in passive aggressive jabs if he let her rope him into a conversation. 

Which he did not intend to do.

At all.

Fuck there she was.

“So how you been, Jeremiah?” Galo asked, leaving Esther to deal with Aunt Jude’s approach. He’d listen to Jeremiah describe every single attachable part, feature, and accessory of whatever new gun he’d bought between now and the last family reunion if it meant sticking Esther with Aunt Jude. He’d politely prompt Jeremiah to talk about golf and “owning the libs” on reddit and let him complain about his loudly eco-feminist lesbian coworker, if it meant not having to deal with Aunt Jude’s holier than thou party planning and getting deadnamed repeatedly. 

Fortunately, Jeremiah was married to the sound of his own voice, so between Galo subtly herding him towards the alcohol and giving intermittent “Mhm”s, Galo kept him going until the funeral itself began. 

Or would have, if Uncle Mike hadn’t started making a scene before the damn thing even started. Galo sighed and pressed his face gently to the wall, listening to the increase in volume as everyone got in on Mike’s riot act. It was a show, him playing the devil’s advocate or saying something provocative or “accidentally” roughhousing too hard. It was just him making sure he was the center of every fucking body’s attention. Galo needed to be sober enough to drive, two hours from now. Sober enough to have a halfway coherent conversation with his shitty fucking family, in about an hour and a half.

But for now, he could grab the bottle of vodka, cut it with some lemonade, and down the entire glass before refilling it with straight vodka. His tastebuds would hate him for it but ideally they’d not be online here in a few minutes. He knew he couldn’t keep drinking like he had been, the last week. If not for his liver, then at the very least for the continued efficiency of his T shots. 

FUCK Aunt Jude was right there.

“Sorry, can’t talk right now,” Galo said in a rush, downing the vodka (ow) and making a beeline for whatever bullshit Uncle Mike was up to. “Gotta put out this fire, talk after the funeral,” he insisted as she opened her mouth again. Uncle Mike was a rude motherfucker, but just for the attention of it all. Aunt Jude was insufferable. 

Galo got between Uncle Mike and his own father, easily solving the dispute now that Auntie Bethany wasn’t there to egg her brothers on. And, since Galo, official fun-sucker of the family, was now on the scene, the rest of the agitated crowd simmered down. A member of Auntie Bethany’s church approached him, and he forced a smile.

“Thank you, young man,” he said, and Galo’s smile went a little more genuine. 

“Sure thing, dude,” Galo said, pushing his hair back from his face. “Galo. Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine. My condolences for your loss. Bethany was a generous and upright woman; our congregation will miss her sorely.”

Don’t talk shit about the dead, Galo reminded himself firmly, before he could remark on what an evil shrieking harpy she was. He thought on the five people he’d left in that massive house, frightened and hurting, and couldn’t reconcile them with the story this man was now telling him, on how Galo’s aunt had always been the first to visit a church member in the hospital or bake something for an expecting couple.

Auntie Bethany had always worried about appearances more than anyone else in the family, Galo figured. And he was the only person in the room who understood just how far her coverups went. He rubbed at the bandage on his arm, not wanting to stand there listening to a stranger list off how good and kind and giving Auntie Bethany had been, giving Galo sympathy he hadn’t asked for. 

The funeral officially starting was a fucking mercy. He sat between his siblings, trying very hard to daydream himself away for the next 40 minutes. The pews were uncomfortably full. The entire church turned up, it seemed like, and the majority of her facebook friends. 

He forced himself to space out for most of it, thinking very deliberately about which character he intended to romance on his next playthrough, and if playing a female character would be worth it to romance the lesbian who could, in all honesty, do anything she wanted and he would thank her for it. Pros: hot video game girlfriend. Cons: Galo did not care for playing a female character, when male was an option. 

Unfortunately, after eulogies were given (more like soliloquized, everyone in this goddamn (ha) building was only interested in showing off how righteously they were reacting to Auntie Bethany’s passing) and the body was buried, there was a little luncheon and Aunt Jude finally started negging Galo about the funeral. Galo sat, body laced with tension, and forced himself to drink fluids that were not alcohol. Aunt Jude was family, he couldn’t just tell her to fuck off, especially since it’d just start a scene and there was more than one person in the building who would love to join in if Galo caused a scene.

He could really do without the continuous deadnaming though. It was like Aunt Jude was hosting an internal contest on how many times she could say the wrong name in a single paragraph. Even Auntie Bethany hadn’t gone out of her way like this.

He counted down until he felt like enough time had passed, and then called a meeting of all family members in an adjacent room.

“Ma’am, this is family only,” Galo said, halting a woman in a blue dress and pearls at the door.

“Oh, but Bethany and I were like sisters! She always said that, you know? How I was like a sister to her. We were so close.”

“That’s nice, ma’am, but I don’t know who you are, and this meeting is for the immediate family of the deceased.”

Her wrinkly, painted lips pursed, and Galo could feel the exhaustion of the pending conversation hit him before it even happened.

“Ma’am, we know you miss her, but why don’t you go speak with the others,” Aunt Jude butt in. “In this time of grieving, such a close friend to Bethany would be like a lantern in the night, guiding the others, since I’m sure you know how she would have wanted us to mourn her passing.”

Galo turned into the room, letting Aunt Jude handle it, trying as best he could to block out their holier-than-thou sympathetic tones as they discussed whatever the fucking shit they were spewing. Aunt Jude clipped up next to him in her loudly tapping high heels and said, “And that is how it is done.” And then she deadnamed him again! Great. Fan fucking tastic. 

“So,” Galo said, getting everyone’s attention as quickly as he could because he was at his wits’ fucking end, “Auntie Bethany changed up her will right before her death, listing only the people who visited her in the hospital, which turned out to be only me.” He’d summarized as much in a family facebook chat, but it was good to get everyone on the same page, especially since most of them were drunk (and he wasn’t drunk enough).

“Before anyone protests or starts making remarks,” Galo said, a little louder, “let me finish. I figure that, since I am the only one who visited her, I’ll keep her physical properties, and we the family will split her bank account evenly across all of us. Sound good?” Galo hoped his tone discouraged anyone from saying that that did not, after all, sound good.

“And how much is that? Rich bitch never did say how much she had,” Galo’s father crowed drunkenly. 

Galo made a show of counting heads. Ultimately, it wouldn’t matter. “Between the 17 of us, I’ll write everyone here a check for 2 million dollars.”

Everyone was very happy about that. Galo did not mention that, even after giving that much to his relatives (not that any one of them really and actually deserved that kind of money), he’d still have somewhere around 30 million to donate and spend how he liked. Auntie Bethany had been very wealthy. And these 2 million dollar red herrings would ensure none of them questioned after the slaves, who would absolutely not be going to any member of Galo’s family. He got out the checkbook and made his way around the room, reminding the drunk ones to make sure to cash these and not let them flutter off in the wind because Galo wouldn’t be able to write them another one (a lie, but one he’d stick by). And then, and then, it was finally socially acceptable for him to leave, citing being tired from getting up that early that morning and making a beeline for his car. 

“Fuck,” he breathed as he sank into the sweet cloth seat. His body felt ridiculously heavy, but he wasn’t quite out of the frying pan just yet. He turned his car on and drove, drove as fast as the speed limit let him, tricking his stupid monkey hindbrain into feeling like he was running away and it was working. He drove directly and immediately home.

His apartment was no different than how he’d left it. He almost expected dust and roaches, he felt like he’d been gone a year, but really, it had only been a week. One whole week, straight out of hell.

His mattress was kinda lumpy, and had an indent in Galo’s shape from where he so frequently faceplanted into it. He faceplanted then, too. The bed wasn’t particularly comfortable, but it was familiar and it smelled like him. He groaned. He took a nap.

He felt better, after. He removed his jacket and tie, rolled up his sleeves, and splashed some water on his face. Then he decided to just ditch the shirt altogether. He’d taken all his sweatpants with him when he did the preliminary move into Auntie Bethany’s place, but he still had a pair of leggings he used to wear to the gym before they got a rip in the inner thigh and so he put those on. He downloaded grubhub specifically so he could order a shitload of burritos from taco bell, plus a mountain dew slushie abomination and more of those cinnabon ball things than he could actually, personally eat. It was time to put some garbage in his body. 

Y’know, maybe he wouldn’t sell his bed. Almost all of his craigslist ads had been answered, and he intended to hand over the furniture tomorrow, while the movers were here, having set up appointments with the buyers. His bed was the only piece of furniture that he hadn’t gotten a response for. And he was, after all, ridiculously wealthy.

He pulled up his calculator app. If he wanted to keep rending this apartment indefinitely, let’s say, 20 years, it’d only cost, what, $200,000? That wouldn’t even make a dent in his inherited wealth. He didn’t have to break out of his lease early. He could keep this place, a secret little getaway only for himself, when his new life at the mansion overwhelmed him, or he needed to give those five the night off from his presence, or if he was hiding from his family, or god even knew what. He didn’t have to worry about the money. Literally, nothing monetary could ever touch him again.

And he could redecorate this place, too. Get a little retail therapy in, make it his personal project to work on here and there. That would be… nice. He couldn’t have any plants or living shit in here--it’d die--but maybe some fairy lights and a wall hanging.

He tipped his delivery driver with a $50 bill and didn’t even blink at its loss. He shoveled taco bell into his mouth and called the mansion’s house phone halfway through the meal, washing his mouth out with the toxic waste lookin’ slushie.

“Good evening?”

“Hey, Nyla, it’s Galo. Just letting you know I won’t be home tonight, so you all have permission to go to bed whenever you’re ready to, okay?”

“Yes Master, thank you sir.”

“Have a good night,” he said, and hung up. After dinner, he dicked around on his phone, wishing he’d left his game console here (it wasn’t like he was playing it at the mansion), before he turned in early for the night. 

The next day was better. The moving crew was friendly and thorough, he was happy to hand over his old junk to the buyers, and once they’d trucked his belongings over to the mansion he enlisted their help in moving Auntie Bethany’s old craft furniture and the totes of supplies Nyla had packed up into his car, which he hauled off to be donated. His family didn’t call him, likely too busy spending as much of their new money as they possibly could within a day. He went to the gym in the evening, and bumped into an old friend he’d made before he switched to mornings.

Yes, the next day was better.

--

“He said he’s not coming home tonight,” Nyla informed them, gathered together in the kitchen for dinner. It had been a quiet day. With Master Galo leaving early in the morning, the most that had happened was Evan finishing out his recitations and trying to limp feeling back into his numbed legs. “We can go to sleep whenever we want to.”

“I’d like to sleep early, then,” Greyson remarked, and they all took a look at him. Normally he just listened and went along with whatever the group, or Nyla, decided.

“Tired?” Lilah asked.

“It’s been a week,” Greyson said heavily, and they all agreed. It had certainly been a week. 

“Do you think we could take a bath?” Lilah asked, and they looked between themselves. Taking a bath in the basement bathroom, which had a tub like a small pool, was reserved for when Mistress was out of town for multiple days in a row, and only for the middling days, when there was no chance she might return from a cancelled flight or arrive early.

“Master is o-only away for the n-night.”

“But he hasn’t lied to us yet,” Nyla said. She glanced at Evan. 

They all knew she was being indulgent for Evan’s sake, since he’d had a pretty shit time yesterday and that day. Acquiescing to a bit of mischief. He smiled.

“And we’d hear him open the front door, anyway.” Evan’s voice was still a little rough from that morning. “Dude’s heavy.”

“Let’s take a bath,” Greyson agreed. 

They all showered like they normally did, Greyson first, getting off the grime and sweat of the day, and then sank into the large, gently steaming tub, soaking and talking quietly, ears perked for the sound of the front door, but enjoying the warmth, and the chance to relax. They spoke on Master Galo, collectively attempting to parse his mindgames and coming up short. They spoke on the work they had done and what needed doing, Nyla creating neat categories in her brain. Evan and Greyson spoke infrequently, one feeling too guilty to speak, the other too tired. And then they all said nothing at all, still and warm, simply sitting in the water.

Sasha started to nod off first, her head resting on Nyla’s shoulder, then jerking up, then laying on Greyson’s. He pet her wet hair and broke the silence by urging her to bed, with him. The other three, content and about as calm as they could get, in this place, were not far behind them.

They dried and dressed and climbed into bed, Greyson out in a moment, Evan asleep last, warm and with each other in their Master’s absence.

Next

[cozycryptidcorner]

Shark Merfolk Boyfriend

Hey guys- here’s the first place winner of the raffle! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a little while, school and family stuff has had be busy af this month. Hope you enjoy this story about a smartass shark merfolk with a gender neutral reader.

The train from the coastline to the Center takes well over an hour, the lights of the cars dim enough so the passengers can look out windows and into the depths. The glass that protects the track network is thick and military-grade, strong enough not to crack underneath the pressure of the ocean. You don’t mind the time it takes to get there, it gives you a moment to breathe, or finish up any last-minute projects. The paperwork at the Center can be a bitch, and it seems like everyone is running behind on it, even you. So while the wheels on the tracks whirl and moan, you have your laptop out, fingers flying across the keys as you electronically sign off a thing or two.

The shriek of the breaks is dulled significantly by the padding of the train’s walls, but you still hear the barest echo of the slowing wheels. There, out the window, you can see the lights shimmering through the currents, shadows of creatures swimming to and fro dancing on the edge of your vision. Carefully, you start placing your work things back into your bag, placing the strap on your shoulder as the cars come to a final stop. The intercom buzzes as someone’s recorded voice announces this as the Center, reminding tourists to calmly file towards the main lobby for the tours and special bundle deals for the whole family.

You watch your step as you get off, helping a mother carry a rather bulky stroller down the steep stairs while her toddler coos at the bright lights hanging overhead. Instead of following the crowd, most of them just curious passersby here to spend a long day, you scan an employee’s pass on a nearby elevator, stepping in and pressing your floor when the doors close. The labs are a lower level down, far from the loud shrieking of children and the aghast staring of couples as they look into the many different aquatic exhibits. You are similar to them in that you are here to be a spectator, though the reasons are vastly different.

The wetsuit waiting for you in the locker room is cold and wet, as it hadn’t managed to dry from when you left it the night before. You don’t think you’ve put that thing on while it was dry since you first got it, but it doesn’t matter so much once you get it on. It traps the heat from your body, keeping you warm despite the obvious chill deep seawater brings. You step into the main hall, barefoot and with your water shoes in hand, looking over at the adjoining waterway the merfolk use to get around. Someone waits for you, skin a dark shade of blue-gray, teeth sharp and layered in rows in his mouth.

“Hey,” you say, holding your bookbag slightly away from your body, so it doesn’t soak through. “How’d your night go?”

“Oh, you know,” Kanoa says, baring his razor-sharp teeth in a greeting smile, “the same. I watched a- what was it called... RIP Vine compilation for the Chaotic Good. I also learned a new human word: yeet.”

“Hm, interesting.” You bite your bottom lip, looking over the day’s agenda. “You are aware of the proper use of that word, right?”

“Of course, doctor. I would demonstrate, but I have nothing to throw besides an expensive, government-issued tablet.”

“Please don’t,” you are tempted to laugh, but hold everything together for the sake of a professional persona. “Management will not be particularly pleased about that. Our mysterious benefactor’s money can only go so far.”

When you walk, Kanoa follows alongside in the waterway, tail flicking for movement. You know that he could easily outpace you is he wanted, there have been some foot races up and down the halls just for the sake of fun. The merfolk are typically the ones who come out winning, their slick, long bodies perfect examples of speed and agility. Still, there isn’t any use in outrunning your partner when they can barely keep up, so Kanoa matches your rate of steps, looking over his tablet with a furrowed brow.

“How did our patient do during the night?” You ask, bringing up the file of a dolphin.

“I heard from our night crew that she had no issues, though she seemed lonely.”

“Once her wounds are healed up enough, she can join the communal tank.” You push open a set of double doors, entering a large, domed room, an artificial glow shining from the many lights against the ceiling. The simulation of daytime is remarkable, you would readily admit, for anyone less aware of the small biome’s existence, they might be readily fooled for some time, though the painted horizon on one side would be an easy giveaway. The sand feels warm against your bare toes, as the heated plates just a couple of feet below work to keep the internal temperatures like that of a paradise.

There, in the shallows of the water, a baby dolphin swims around in circles, though her movements are rather weak. Still, she’s significantly healed from when she first arrived, bloody and bruised from struggling to escape a stray plastic net she caught herself in. A little rest and some TLC and she’ll be back with her pod in no time, though her family went ahead and migrated without her, most likely under the assumption that their poor baby was dead. The GPS tags have them out in the northern waters already, so you’ll probably have her kept in rehabilitation until they come back.

Kanoa pops out from his own entrance underneath the water, shaking his head back and forth to get the water from his eyes. The dolphin clicks with joy when she sees him, swimming weak circles around his large, gray frame in an invitation to play. He picks her up, and she wriggles in his arms with joy, making loud, squeaky cries of excitement as he dives backward in the water, popping back up only a yard away from the artificial shore. She squeals when she notices you, too, beckoning you closer so she could swim excited circles around your waist.

“She missed us,” Kanoa laughs, picking her up again and placing a kiss on her forehead. “Awww, little baby, look at you! Getting better already.”

The dolphin’s excitement is ridiculously infectious, so you find yourself giggling along to her chirps of happiness. Your fingers run over her back as she wriggles back and forth between you and Kanoa, unable to decide who gets to get the honor of playing the first game of the day with her. Physical therapy, actually, it’s just disguised as something fun for her to do, but every little thing the both of you do has the express purpose of helping her recover. Still, dressing it up to be fun and engaging certainly hurts no one, least of all the patient in question.

“We need to come up with a name for you,” Kanoa coos, cradling her in his arms.

“Don’t look at me,” you say, “you can’t put me on the spot like that.”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something,” Kanoa says, more to the dolphin than you, “yes I will, baby girl, yes I will…”

You hide your smile behind the tablet, tapping briefly just to make it seem like you’re working. Kanoa is more than happy to take the first game, something designed to strengthen her muscles, while you sit on the sandy edge, monitoring her progress from a distance in case he misses something vital in her movement. She’s a wily one, even while injured, so she runs to risk of straining herself far too early, something that might permanently damage what has already been harmed. Then it’s your turn to give her some attention, swimming laps around the pool in the guise of tag.

“You take lunch with the other scientists, don’t you?” Kanoa asks, after a few hours of working with the dolphin.

“Usually. I don’t have the energy to pack my own food, so I eat from the cafeteria.”

“You should eat it with me. If you don’t mind.” Kanoa fiddles with his tablet, the corner of his mouth twitching. “It would give us some extra time to discuss our little patient here.”

It only takes a moment of hesitation for you to agree. “Sure, but you’ll have to let me grab something to-go from the main caf.”

“Of course,” Kanoa says, perhaps a little too quickly. “I usually eat here with little miss sunshine, so-”

“I’ll get something to eat and come back down,” you finish, nodding, “sounds good.”

It doesn’t take much longer for lunchtime to arrive, but it does take you a hot minute to go up to the cafeteria, lines all up the wazoo. You through on a simple cover dress, one thin layer to hide your skin-tight wetsuit from prying, curious eyes. Thanks to the ridiculous amount of tourism that takes up a good portion of the Center, there are many chain restaurants present to feed them all, so you always have a decent selection of menu. There’s an authentic Japanese restaurant, carved out in their own little corner, one that many a night you’ve spent with your land-dwelling coworkers.

The sushi there is top-notch, or at least you’ve been told so by your coworkers with more experience in the cuisine. While a tad bit pricey, it is one of the few things that both humans and merfolk can consume, so you’re drawn to it all the same. Just on a whim, you order one or two more than you think you can eat... in case someone wants to share. After a couple of minutes of waiting after your order was taken, the chef finishes up the lunch, placing everything in a sturdy paper box, one that biodegrades after a couple of days once it’s been used. Plastics are strictly prohibited; after all, styrofoam included, so everything that gets put in the trash rots after a couple of days. Keeps the risk of pollution at a minimum.

You walk back to the elevators, careful to dodge a group of shrieking children running out of the gift shop, little trinkets that couldn’t have cost more than five dollars in hand. It doesn’t take you as long to navigate the tunneling corridors back down to the rehab domes, the chill of the hallways biting at your fingers. The warmth of the artificial sun is a relief the moment you push your way through the doors, and you’re quick to kick off your sandals and bury your toes beneath the sand.

Kanoa waits for you, tail curled up, ceramic bowl in hand with spiced fish inside. It’s rather hard to cook food beneath the sea when a fire isn’t exactly an option, and going to any heat source like a lava flow would end up with you roasting alongside whatever you have, so it’s not really a surprise that merfolk eat their food raw. You sit next to him, placing a metal water bottle in the sand and wriggling it, so it stays upright, and look over to where the dolphin is swimming around in circles, playing her own little game with a large, inflated ball.

“How’s she doing?”

“In the few minutes that you’ve been gone?” Kanoa pops another slice of fish into his mouth. “Not very different. She’s extremely chipper today, wonder what the night crew did to put her in such a good mood.”

“Maybe she’s just stoked to see us.”

Kanoa looks over at you, brow furrowed.

“Stoked, uh, means,”

“Just playing,” he flicks your shoulder, “I know what it means: very excited.”

You snort, snapping a pair of disposable chopsticks in half. “You got me there, dude. I almost went on a whole tangent explaining what it means and how it’s used. Can’t have a repeat of the lmao incident from last year.”

Kanoa lets out a huffy laugh, looking over your meal with an interested gaze. “Sushi? You like that?”

You shrug, picking up one of the more fishy bites and offered it to him. “Mostly. You want some?”

He leans over and takes the sushi in his mouth, not taking too much time to chew before swallowing, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he takes a moment to decide whether or not he likes it. “It’s good.”

“Yeah?” You aren’t sure if you’re feeling relief or not.

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” You quickly pick up another and eat it, mouth savoring the natural saltiness of the fish and the soft crunch of an accompanying radish.

“I have a question,” Kanoa says in a casual-not-casual voice, “just something I’ve been wondering about.”

“Yes?” You take the bait, not sure where to look. Definitely not on his chiseled abs, that’s not a great place to stare at right now. Maybe not at your sushi, either, because that might seem rude. Ugh, eye contact it is, then.

“I’ve seen acts of affection on the Tube. Kissing, right?”

“First, never call YouTube ‘the tube’ again,” you take a breath, steeling yourself for where you know he’s trying to steer the conversation towards. You know what? You’re okay with this. “Second, yes, I’m aware of kissing.”

“I’d like to try it, if you don’t mind, with someone with experience in the action. Most humans do, yeah? You do?”

You clear the air away from your throat. “Yeah.”

“Would you mind?”

You let the question mull over in your head for all but two seconds while you bring forth the pros and cons of doing allowing a shark merfolk press his mouth against yours- or, you suppose, you’ll have to be the one to initiate, coaching him through the process. Pros; you look down at his abs, then back up to the shapely outline of his jaw. Cons; uhm, letting the softer parts of your face get up and cozy with that gauntlet of ridiculously sharp teeth.

“Sure,” you say, swallowing thickly, eyeing his pecs, “for science.”

Carefully, you set the box of sushi onto the sand. Then, slowly, you place both hands on either side of his shoulders, getting up onto your knees, and go in for the kill before you hesitate any longer. His mouth isn’t soft as a human’s; rather, it’s a tad bit rubbery, nor is it at all warm. It’s almost like kissing one of those dreaded dodgeballs that’s been hanging out in the cold night air for a good couple of hours, though his mouth is decidedly far more shapely than a sphere.

Kanoa doesn’t move an inch, frozen in place, almost like he hadn’t expected you to take his offer, or at least do so as quickly as you ended up doing so. When you pull away, though, his hand unexpectedly falls on your arm, his dark eyes almost glazed over from whatever emotions are running through his body. After a moment, he presses his forehead against yours, then tries his best to mimic the way your lips had gently pressed up against his. He’s clumsy at first, but that doesn’t stop him from making a second attempt, one that’s much more improved in the way of technique.

You’re quickly breathless, and you can’t remember how you ended up underneath him, only that his kissing abilities are improving very rapidly with every single intimate moment that passes. It takes you a minute to be able to think properly because you want to ask him something, but the heat the two of you share makes it awfully hard to create a single, coherent sentence in your mind. Oh, the coolness of his mouth was only offputting in the beginning, now it’s grown on you. “Ho-” you let out a little gasp when his face tilts, and he offers a teasing kiss on your earlobe, “how to your people do this?”

“They don’t.” He’s as breathless as you, unable to process any of his thoughts or your words correctly.

“Not this, but- but ways they show love?” You tangling your fingers through his drying hair, your nails pressing into his scalp.

Kanoa mulls it over for a moment, eyes darting across your face, your eyes, nose, mouth, then falls down to a sliver of skin that the wetsuit doesn’t cover on your neck. He leans over, his hair tickling your chin, then bites, not hard, not enough to draw blood, but enough to send a little spark through your nerves. Instead of immediately letting go, he stays that way for a bit longer, then slowly opens his mouth enough to release your skin. His teeth graze against your neck as he does so, the warmth of his breath sending delicious shivers down your spine.

“Like that.” He says, sounding satisfied with how disheveled you look beneath him.

“Oh,” you say, your voice small. “Do it again.”

He obeys, switching over to the other side of your neck, his teeth pulling at your skin. The way he bites is careful, full of cautious movement, clearly aware that any sort of wrong twitch might leave your skin torn and bloody. It’s a careful dance between too much and not enough, the line between pain and pleasure as thin as a silk thread, but he somehow manages to walk it with a sort of ease that you’re not confident you can come close to emulate, should the tables turn. When he lets go, the sharpness ceases, and you are left breathless and heated.

“We should stop,” he says, his voice quiet and muted, as though there’s suddenly a wall dividing the two of you.

“Wha- why?” You ask, suddenly aware that the zipper of your wetsuit had somehow managed to make it down past your collarbone. Did he do that? Did you? It’s a blur.

“I’m afraid I won’t want to stop if we continue- and I don’t think you would, either.” He looks over to where the dolphin is swimming around in circles, eagerly awaiting your return to playtime. “We’re still at work.”

“Right.” Your stomach stops its drop, relieved that he hadn’t suddenly decided that this was all too much, too fast, because the pace seemed to be just right in your eyes.

“There’s a utility closet that I can get into upstairs,” he says, “no one ever enters because it’s tucked in a far off corner.”

You smile wide enough that it hurts. “Oh? And what would be doing in there?”

“Going as far as we’d like without worrying about an audience.”

“I’ll give it some thought,” you say, playing the hard to get card. “Weigh the benefits of any feasible outcomes.”

“Well, please write out your final thesis on the topic and bring it by my desk by evening.”

[ladieslovingladiesandfics]

Time

Y’all will write about 40yr old Jacob bUT WHERE ARE THE FICS FOR 40YR OLD EVIE FRYE YOU COWARDS

anyway for context, reader and evie were in love but never acted on it so Evie soon yeeted herself into India while reader went home to America the land of the stupid free

Atlas would pity her, yet be in awe.

Evie Frye could not help but think to herself. 

She carries a weight that outclasses the world.

“Evie?”

The Frye jolts from her thoughts, mentally flogging herself for her lapse in thought, eyes blinking and looking over at the shorter woman, who carries herself so much more differently than twenty years ago.

Her shoulder straighter, amber tea eyes darkened with age, a little bit of her tummy fat still remaining but perhaps everything about her has changed. Y/N is a Grandmaster Assassin of the Western American branch, taking over for Marissa after she had moved to England to marry her brother; so it would make sense for her to carry such a weight upon her shoulders.

Yet it seems to enhance her beauty that Evie just adores. A drive to better the world.

It makes her heart stutter and shiver.

The taller assassin peers down at the other, having pushed such thoughts out of her mind. “Yes?” “Were you listening?” Y/N questions, a gloved finger on one of the newspapers that the boys had given them. Her eyebrows furrowed and her other hand on her hip. A look so stern yet so gorgeous that Evie was ready to reswear her loyalty to the Master Assassin and beg on her knees for her forgiveness, for her love, for even a scrap of affection.

Because the past twenty years have just proven how much Evie missed her, how much she longed for her. 

“Y-Yes, sorry, I’ve...I’ve been thinking.” “About Jacob?”

A flinch of the body, a gentle hand on the shoulder that makes the woman reel. “Hey,” and a whisper that almost made her cry. “We’re going to find him, I promise, Evie. We’re not some of the best assassins for nothing.” Y/N speaks with a gentle tone, worn with age and authority; a mere glance could cause the dame’s knees to buckle. “But I feel like you’ve been working too much. Go eat, I’m going to visit Freddie for a bit.” And yet all the more distant.

Even if they are working together, they are almost never in the same room or same area. Never talk about anything else past what they need to do, and even if they care for each other, the smaller woman tries her best not to show it.

And it’s killing them both inside. “No.”

“No?” the tiny woman blinks, both hands now on her silken hips. “You need rest Evie, I can handle Jack for a little bit lo-” “I want to talk to you, about us.” 

The smaller woman flinches, sighing heavily. “What about us? This isn’t professional chatter Evie-” “But I want to.” all sorts of emotions were bubbling up towards the surface of her heart, threatening to boil over as the rice porridge that Y/N often used to make for them. She had to speak her mind now, or else, when shall they have the time? “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for twenty years but you’ve never answered my letters-” “I never got any.” 

Y/N’s face only hardens, closing her eyes and there is this old twitch that Evie knows, a sign of her lying; a stutter in his voice and a nip of her tongue. A way to punish herself. The woman knows that the other got her letters, Marissa had told her about them. “You did, Y/N. I know it. Marissa told me-” “Then she shouldn’t have stuck her nose into my fucking business.” 

“Y/N, please, just let me talk!” “There. Is. No. Reason!” Y/N spits out her words like fire, tears budding at the ends of her eyes, splattering down her cheeks in streams. “Why are you so insistent about your stupid letters?! They’re just letters!” “Because I missed you!” Evie screams back, voice reaching a pitch. “I missed you so much that Henry insisted I write letters to you because I truly did! I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since I left for India!” “Why the hell do you care?!” instead of man-made fire, its lava that scalds the mouth of the Master Assassin. Fired to a temper pitch and poured out to drown her and stifle her cries. “You and Henry are just happy and what? You want to rub it into my face?!” “Henry and I?” there was a silence upon Evie’s lips, gears clinking together. “Y/N...Y/N,” a gentler tone, a shake of her head. “You thought Henry and I...were together?” “Yeah?” the tiny woman sniffles out, hiccuping before turning right on her heel; hiding her face from the other. “You and Henry got married right? That’s why you went to India.” “No!” Evie gasps out, a hand over her chest. “Henry and Ned were married!”

Silence permeates over the pair of women, and a small ‘Huh’ came from the equally tiny woman. “Henry...Ned...what?” “Henry and Ned were married.” Evie repeats, slower. “I’ve been single my entire life...and have been, really.” she peers down at the wooden table they once shared, a gloved finger tracing the swirls upon the surface. “I couldn’t be with anyone else...not when I was waiting for you.”

By then, full on sobs were heard from the tiny assassin, causing Evie to hurry to her side, enclosing her in a soft embrace. Whispers of apologies and hushes of later chats.

All they wanted to right then and there was just cry, hug, and let it all out.

[imagine-loki]

Mean Tweets

TITLE: Mean Tweets

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One shot

AUTHOR: timeladylaufeyson

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine the Avengers are on the Jimmy Kimmel show promoting their Young Avengers initiative and hoping for volunteers to join them to train and defend the earth.

RATING: Everyone, with some language

NOTES/WARNINGS: I know it’s been ages since this imagine was posted, but i just randomly thought about it and decided to write a story. It’s kinda short, but I simply needed to get it out of my head in order to be able to concentrate on more serious matters. 

  Everyone thought it would be a wonderful idea. What could possibly be a better way of promoting the new Young Avengers initiative than going on one of the most famous late night shows? 

The evening was, in fact, fantastic. Despite Jimmy being used to a whole different kind of celebrities being on his couch, he handled everything well and knew exactly what to ask. Everyone had a great time. When it was time for the Mean Tweets segment, the whole team was excited.

Tony, naturally went first. He could barely contain his laughter as he read: “I am so fucking sick of this Stinky Stank bitch. Dude literally thinks he can just make a 360 degree turn and the world will completely forget the shit he used to do. What the fuck. Rich privilege at its finest.”

Tony shook his head in disbelief, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Well, first off,” he said. “It’s supposed to be 180 degree turn. 360 would be a circle. Second of all…” he thought for a moment. “I actually have no idea what to say to that. I guess…” he raised his middle finger at the camera. “This will have to suffice.”

The ones about Steve are all aimed at his patriotism and the nature of his powers; “Literally all Captain America is is some wannabe wimp from Brooklyn who got lucky and became some scientist’s lab rat and now has the audacity to prance around in an ugly ass suit and talk about how great America is.”

“Well, I mean… you’re not wrong,” Steve shrugged, smirking.

“How the frick frack did Spider-Man become a thing? I mean he’s just some random ass dudebro that does parkour, I could do that. Literally anyone can do that. But I guess you have to make a funky lil costume to be important. Pathetic.”

Peter, from under his mask, giggled. “Well, buddy, I would love to switch places with you.”

“Bruce Banner should go the fuck to therapy.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Bruce chuckled.

“@BlackWidow make me a sandwich, hoe.”

“Come and get it, @BigDickNick.”

It went on and on, the jabs people had being more ridiculous with each one. There was even a few of them on the newest member of the team, Y/N.

“I am willing to bet money that this Omen girl is just a random ass fortune teller they picked up on the carnival one day. What the fuck does she even do, yeet crystal balls at aliens? Not give them a discount on their tarot reading?”

Y/N laughed, her head falling back. “Honestly, I have never thought about weaponizing crystal balls. Thanks for the tip, @hotdoghoe420.”

Loki, who didn’t really understand the point and did not find the idea amusing, tried to stall as much as he could, therefore his turn was the last.

“How the  f u c k did they allow that space bitchboy Loki to join the  a v e n g e r s??? When he is LITERALLY the one who tried to fucking d e s t r o y the Earth???? What the  f u c k??? Did they fucking forget that he’s a genocidal maniac or smth???”

Loki blinked a few times, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He didn’t say anything, but everyone could see how upset he got. When he looked into the camera, his eyes were full of pain.

As they wrapped the shoot, Y/N noticed how quiet Loki was, sitting in the corner and not talking to anybody. She walked over to him and took a seat beside him.

“Hey, Lokes,” she greeted him. “Everything okay?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded without looking at her.

Y/N stayed silent for a moment. “You’re sad because of the Tweets, aren’t you?

He nodded again, this time without words.

“They didn’t exactly pick the best ones for you, I must say,” she sighed. “Should have found some that make fun of your helmet or something.”

“What’s the point of this?” he asked. “What kind of entertainment is that?”

“I think it’s to show people that their opinion doesn’t matter to us,” she said. “That we’re going to keep doing what we do no matter what they say about us.”

“It’s hurtful,” he said. “And humiliating.”

“It’s supposed to be fun and uplifting,” she sighed. “But as I said, they really picked the worst ones for you. It wasn’t fair. I think none of us would be comfortable with that.”

“The person is right though,” Loki said.

“No, they’re not,” Y/N shook her head and laid her hand on his shoulder. “They’re not. They’re a dumb piece of shit. Everyone knows New York wasn’t your fault. Even you know that. Don’t take it personally. You’re a literal ray of sunshine that’s trying to make up for everything. People actually love you.”

“Do they?”

“Absolutely!” she grinned. “People are actually rooting for you, you know. Don’t let those few stuck up bitches get to you.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asked.

“I can literally read minds, honey. And besides, even if they didn’t, who cares? You’re trying so hard to do good. Other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter to you.”

He smiled ever so slightly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, ruffling his hair. “May I call you sunshine from now on? I think it suits you.”

“Won’t people-” he began, but Y/N’s raised eyebrows cut him off. “Right. Who cares.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” she said. “Give me a sec, I think I forgot something over there.”

He watched her as she walked away again, stopping to talk to Jimmy himself. He didn’t know what they were talking about, but it seemed that it was quite a serious conversation, making him feel bad for watching. He turned away, getting lost in his own thought.

A few days later, when the Mean Tweets: Avengers edition came out, the whole team sat together in the lounge and watched it, laughing at the absurdity of it all. But as the video ended, they realised a tiny little detail - Loki’s part wasn’t there. It was in that moment when he realised what Y/N’s conversation with Jimmy was about. She noticed her looking at him and whispered a thank you just for her to see.

[yeet-man]

One’s Rebirth (Christmas Special)

A/N: Ayo, I know this is kinda weird to upload since it ain’t Christmas but some parts are canon and etc so uh ye. Reblog asking what’s canon and anything else ya wanna know and I’ll be sure to answer it. Hope y’all enjoy this chapter!

As Christmas neared and school let out for the holidays, all the students, at least in class 1-A including Mei, were going to J'me's house since dorms didn't exist yet. It would be their first holiday together, and they planned to make it memorable.

Everyone went directly to J'me's house on Christmas Eve. He opened the door to let everyone in, he was nervous, to say the least. The house was decorated as best he could do by himself, his mother went out for the night so they could have the house for themselves. Everyone from class 1-A would be there including Mei. The only person that was absent would be Kairo.

Ryan would walk in and look around at the decorations before walking over to J'me. "So.. everyone's here right?" He had a relaxed smile resting on his face as he asked this.

"Yeah, though I don't see Kairo. Who cares, man can go fuck himself for all we know." He said jokingly and simply shrugged at Kairo not being there. "How have you and Mina been? Seems like you got a crush on her."

"Uhh... Well, we're good friends." He'd kinda lean in a little so that he was at J'me's level. "Also how'd you know that?"

J'me just looked at Ryan and chuckled slightly. "It's not that difficult to tell plus didn't you say you had a crush on Mina in the real world?" He said with a small smug face.

Ryan would shrug a small bit. "You're right...I did...I was hoping I could use this party to ask her out."

"Nice, I planned on asking Mei out during our 'secret santa' stuff. Though we all know I rigged it so you got everyone and I got Mei."

Before Ryan could respond a huge box and then a small box came crashing through the window. It broke the window and landed on the floor, the boxes had a tag that read 'To the dumb fucks that are my friends.' Kairo was, of course, talking about J'me and Ryan. The gift for Ryan was a red and black scythe, Kairo didn't care what Ryan thought about it, he just hoped he wouldn't be questioned about it. J'me's gift was in the small box, it was sharingan contacts with the tag reading 'fucking weaboo'.

Hearing the crash, J'me immediately opened the door to see no one in the snow. He let out a sigh and had an annoyed look on his face. "I swear to god Kairo..." He turned to look at Momo, she noticed the broken window and simply nodded. She made a new windowpane, J'me smashed the old one and replaced it with the new one. "Ryan, can you pick up the glass while I put the presents under the tree?"

A rock came through the new fucking windowpane because Kairo was being a bitch.

He'd nod a little as his tendrils picked up the shards and dense purple flames shot towards the rock and glass, causing the glass to melt back to its normal shape.

"I hope Kai-" J'me made a clone to go after Kairo. He put the presents under the tree. "It's fucking Christmas, why does Kairo have to pull his dumb pranks?"

He'd shrugged a little as he looked around, seeing the small Mineta walking around looking at the girls. "Hmm.."

Mineta would try to flirt with the girls before Iida smacked him and waved his arms in multiple directions at once. "Mineta! It's Christmas, this isn't a time to flirt with girls!" 

J'me chuckled and looked at Ryan. "By the way man, enjoy yourself... Just don't pull a Kairo."

He would smile a little before walking towards Mina. "Sure thing mate."

Mina would turn to look at Ryan. "Oh hey Ryan! How are you enjoying the party? I'm surprised J'me had a house this big, it looks so pretty!" She looked around in excitement before looking back at Ryan with a smile.

He'd let out a small chuckle as she said that, and looked around. "Yeah, his house is pretty nice... Also, the party seems alright so far. Are ya having fun?"

"Who wouldn't be having fun! Well except for Kairo since he broke J'me's window..." If Kairo was in the room, let's just say he would be dead.

"Yeah." He'd smile a little, "Kairos being a little rude is all." He'd then glance back towards Mineta as he saw him start walking in their direction.

"Agreed..." 

Mineta would walk up to both of them not caring if they were trying to have a conversation. "Hey acid girl, how about we go somewhere else?" Mineta would have a small smug expression on his face. He would also be staring at Mina's boobs.

Ryan's gaze would change as he looked at Mineta. His expression would change to that of annoyance and aggravation. His expression made him seem like a real life demon. "Mineta… stop," he'd deliver a swift kick to Mineta, which would send him flying.

Mineta would fly into the wall, that's when J'me looked at Ryan. "What did I say about pulling a Kairo? Next time kick his ass into the ground." Mineta would be out for the next few minutes.

He'd glance at the wall, which had no damage. "I didn't pull a Kairo, J'me." 

Ryan would then turn back towards Mina with a smile. "So… how about we move to somewhere else... maybe a place that Mineta won't find us."

J'me just rolled his eyes and walked over to Mei.

Mina would start to blush after she heard the question. "What do you mean by that Ryan?"

Ryan would think about his words for a second before a slight blush went over his face. "Uhh... what do you want me to mean?"

"Something that isn't inappropriate you pervert." She was playing of course...or was she?

Mineta woke up with a confused look. He was wondering what he got kicked for asking a question.

He'd smile a little more as he grabbed her hand and slightly pulled her away from the group "It doesn't have to be inappropriate…" Ryan would then pause for a second as his blush deepened in color a bit and mumbled quietly, "unless you want it to be..."

J'me would notice Ryan dragging Mina and got a basic idea of what was gonna happen. "Ryan, there's a mini log house in the back for reasons ya know!"

He'd glance back with a large smile on his face as his face got even redder. "Uhh.. yeah, thanks J'me."

J'me just smirked seeing Ryan turn red. He knew they weren't gonna do it but just in case. Who knows what the hell Ryan would do. "No problem man." He started hanging with Mei, that was till Mineta walked over. 

"Hey momma, how about we get our own room?" 

J'me's eye twitched just hearing that question. He picked up Mineta by his shirt. "Who the fuck said you could come over here you little shit?" Before Mineta had time to respond J'me already slammed him into the ground.

Ryan could be heard from somewhere in the house. "You pulled a fuckin Kairo."

The ground wouldn't be damaged, just the fuck boy knocked out. "Naw chief just knocked his ass out for a while."

Even though he wasn't seen he'd nod before pulling Mina into a room "Sure mate."

An hour or two would pass before J'me would call everyone to the living room. "Alright, it's time to exchange gifts, I swear to god if anyone else pulls a Kairo you will be kicked out of this house."

A few minutes later Ryan and Mina would come back to the living room, both with slight smiles. They seemed to be holding hands.

J'me would look over at Ryan. "Man, could you not wait till it was time to exchange gifts to give Mina's hers?"

He smirked a bit, "I guess I couldn't." He'd pause as he took a wooden box out of his jacket and tossed it to J'me. "And this is your gift mate."

J'me would catch it as if it was nothing. "Hm..." He would open it to see the special kunai in it.

Ryan used his quirk to make a kunai out of dense flames that looked similar to the one in the box. "It's a special kunai that has some of my dense flames fused in with it. Also, it has your 'special' formula on it because Mei helped with it."

He would look at Mei, then Ryan. "This is really nice...I'm just mad that yo dumbass couldn't figure it out by yourself."

He'd yeet his flame kunai at J'me. "No problem mate."

J'me would catch it. "Hey hey now, let's wait till the next battle to fight man."

Ryan would let out a small sigh as the kunai he threw vanished. "Bet... so, did we miss anything while we were gone?" He'd motion to him and Mina.

He looked around for the kunai and then looked at Ryan. "Wait y'all were gone?" He said jokingly, "so why are parts of your clothes melted?"

He would glance down at where some of Mina's acid had accidentally hit and blush a little. "Uhh... She accidentally got some of her acid on me."

"Oh? How did that happen? Y'all weren't fucking were y'all?"

Ryan's face would turn to a deeper red out of embarrassment, "No…"

Mina would quickly protest. "We wouldn't do anything like that!" She exclaimed with a heavy blush on her face.

Ryan would quickly nod in agreement.

"Hm...Alright...." He motioned everyone to sit down so they could exchange presents.

Ryan would sit down as his blush faded and motioned for Mina to sit next to him, instead though she plopped right onto his lap. "Ok... uhh who gets the first present?" The red had faded now, mostly gone except for a slight pink tint.

"Shit uh...I guess let the biggest pervert get his present first."

Ryan would smile a bit as he used his foot to slide a present to Mineta "This is for you mate." 

Mineta would catch the present, which seemed to be twice as big as him and started to slowly unwrap it. "Is this what I think it is?!" Mineta would see Mt. Ladys head and tore off the rest of the wrapping paper with glee, his present was a Mt. Lady body pillow, and Mineta loved it. He had a little drool dripping out of his mouth and a slight nosebleed as he looked at it "Ahhh... Mount Lady... big boobs... big thighs..." He continued to mumble stuff like that as he played next to the pillow.

"Now that you have your present, shut the hell up and go to the corner." Mineta followed his instructions since he was very excited.

Ryan would look down before sliding a present over to Mei. "It's from J'me," he lied about that. It was from him but wanted J'me to get the credit, so she'd think more of him. It was the newest, most expensive wrench set available. Along with some brand new power tools.

As Mei was opening it, J'me looked at Ryan. 'What the fuck…' He mouthed to the boy who was taller than him.

He'd shrug with a slight smile. "What do you mean? You're the one who got it, remember?"

Mei looked at the wrench set and power tools. She then hugged J'me tightly. "Thank you so much J'me!"

He would look at Ryan and simply nodded. "Yeah, no problem Mei."

Ryan would give a slight nod before grabbing a smaller box and handing it to Mina. "This is for you."

Mina would smile lightly as she opened the box with excitement and saw the gift, a golden necklace with her name on it. The name was made of shaped gold with a single diamond where the dot for the I is. She'd see this and smile even more as she spun on Ryan's lap and hugged him while wrapping her legs around him. "THANK YOU RYAN!!" She'd give him a slight kiss before putting it on.

J'me would get a smug face on his face as he watched Mina and Ryan.

Ryan would smile a little as Mina did her thing before glancing at J'me with a smirk.

J'me stood up and helped Mei up as well. "It's time for the actual present I was going to give you." He grabbed her hand and guided her outside.

Ryan would stay where he was and smile as he started hugging Mina and tossed a gift to Midoriya. "Mate, here." 

Deku would open it nervously and see a note that read "Shoot your shot already man." Deku knew what he was talking about and continued into the gift. He soon found a new costume. It was similar to his normal design but more like All Might's "Wh--WHATTTT!! Thank you so much!!" He'd grab it and run to the back before coming back out with it on.

Bakugo would stare at him with a slight grin before muttering, "Idiot," and looked towards Ryan. "Love bird, Where's my gift?"

Ryan would laugh a little as he picked up a small box and tossed it to him, "It's right there." 

Bakugo would open it and stare at it for a second. They were a new set of drum sticks "What are these for?" He'd look to where Ryan was pointing and smile a bit. A new drum set was sitting behind the tree with an orange bow on it. "Thanks."

Once J'me and Mei were outside, they started to walk away from the house. The scenery was stunning, snow falling down on everything. It truly looked like a winter wonderland. 

J'me had a special place where he wanted to ask Mei out. As they were walking towards the place, it was clear they were cold. Their bodies shaking uncontrollably, even with the coats that were on them.

Mei reached her hand out to touch J'me's hand, but she hesitated. The girl was afraid that he wouldn't like it and think she was weird. After a few seconds she gathered up the courage and grabbed J'me's hand, blushing in the process.

J'me turned to see Mei blush as she grabbed his hand. "Mei, why are you holding my hand…?" He questioned with a gentle tone in his voice. Every time he spoke, small breaths of air could be seen in the snow.

"I'm...I'm taking measurements for your hand!" She tried to keep her energetic attitude even if the girl was extremely nervous. 

"Oh really? If you were taking measurements, why are you blushing?" He said with a slight smirk on his face. 

Mei wouldn't be able to say anything in order to counter J'me's question. She blushed even more and looked away, still holding on to his hand.

J'me smiled and kept on walking to the special place. He still held her hand because he secretly liked it.

A few minutes would pass in silent before they reached the place. It was a park with a small lake around 10 meters from it.

"Here we are…" He guided Mei to the middle of the park and turned to look at her.

She looked at the scenery before turning her attention to J'me. "This...this is really beautiful J'me…" Mei would have a light pink blush on her face.

"Thanks!" He looked around for a couple seconds, J'me had no clue how to start this off. All he knew was the feelings he had for Mei and that he wanted to express them somehow. He grabbed both of her hands and held them tightly. "Mei...I don't know how to express this but...I…" He was hesitant to say it, J'me was afraid Mei would reject him for some reason. "I like you...I don't mean as a friend either…" J'me could already fill the blush appearing on his face. 

Mei's face would be filled with a huge blush as she looked away and out to the lake. She felt the same way about him, but did she really want to date him? She bit her lip and thought about it for a couple seconds. "Some people say that love doesn't exist...but here I am liking you as well J'me." She had a soothing yet caring voice as she spoke.

The blush on J'me's face would only get bigger by the second. "R-really? W-would you be my girlfriend…?" He felt extremely embarrassed to ask, but he wanted Mei to be his girlfriend. He looked into her creamy coffee eyes and hoped she would say yes.

The girl finally turned her direction to the boy after the question. Mei looked J'me in his dark wooden eyes before she spoke. "Y-yes, I'll be your girlfriend J'me Falcon." She smiled after her response even with the blush Mei had on.

J'me smiled like a huge idiot but he couldn't help himself. He was truly happy for one in his depressing life. He pulled Mei into a hug and softly placed a kiss on her forehead.

Mei hugged J'me back and only blushed more as he placed a kiss on her forehead. She stuffed her head to his chest since it was very comfortable.

With the hug in front of the lake, the scene looked like it came out of a movie. It was truly beautiful and for once J'me had a reason to look forward to Christmas.

After a few minutes J'me pulled away from the hug and smiled. "Mei, I promise I'll always do my best for you."

"That's sweet J'me but just having you by my side is good enough." Mei smiled hugely as she spoke to him.

He blushed softly before grabbing her hand and taking the girl back to the house.

They held hands through the walk home which helped them stay warm somewhat. It did stop their uncontrollable shaking. 

Once they got back and J'me opened the door, everyone turned to look at the new couple. Most of them smiled for how cute the sight was, unlike Bakugo's bitch ass. 

They sat down as if nothing happened or well pretended like nothing happened.

Ryan would smile and whisper to Mina, "looks like we're not the only ones who got together." He'd give her a light kiss before pulling her closer and holding a thumbs up to J'me. 

J'me just chuckled at Ryan's thumb up. He looked to see some others that got their present. "You actually gave Bakugo a present?"

Bakugo's eye would twitch slightly as he stood up and walked over to J'me. "Is there a problem you fucking pipsqueak?!" 

J'me let go of Mei's hand and stood up as well. "Yeah there is a problem…" The boy sent a right jab straight at Bakugo's jaw. "The problem is you, you fucking bitch."

Before Bakugo could react Mari jumped in between the two boys. "J'me it's Christmas, try to be a bit nicer today okay?" The immortal then turned to face Bakugo. "Let's try our best to not cause problems Suki," she teased lightly. 

"You're right Mari, it's Christmas. I should be acting a bit nicer. My bad Bakugo, you know how I can get mad at you quickly. I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry." J'me sat back down and held Mei's hand.

"Yeah whatever you pipsqueak…" He walked back to his spot and sat down, an angry expression on his face.

Mari let out a small sigh of relief and sat down herself.

Ryan would smile and as the conversation went on. He pulled a blanket over him and Mina while continuing to cuddle with her.

"Hold up partner, the party ain't over so y'all can't cuddle 'Mr. I'm gonna buy everyone a present'." He said holding Mei's hand tightly.

Ryan would flip him off jokingly and point towards the presents, "You hand out the rest."

"Bruh don't you have a demon or some shit inside? Make that fool hand the rest out."

He'd let out a sigh as all his gifts started sliding towards their recipient's.

As each person opened their gifts, they'd all thank him since they all either helped with their quirk or was about something they liked. Ururaka got a note similar to Deku's too.

J'me looked to see if there were anymore presents under the tree. It looks like they forgot about Kairos gift. He got up and tossed Ryan's present to him. "We forgot about Kairos gift he gave us...oof."

His gift seemed to unwrap itself since he was still cuddling with Mina, "a scythe? Nice."

J'me unwrapped his gift as well. "Hell yeah, sharingan contacts. I'm bouta pull an Itachi." He said in a joking manner.

For the people who don't know, Itachi is a character in the famous Naruto series. He was basically forced to kill his entire clan to prevent a war between the clan and village.

The scythe would lift into the air and float almost like something was guarding Ryan and Mina, "bet mate."

J'me would just laugh a little before sitting back down next to Mei.

Mina would pull a small gift from her pocket. It was a box wrapped up, inside the box was a watch that had Ryan's initials on the side of it. She then gave it to Ryan, "I'm sorry it's not much but that's the best I could do."

Ryan would look at the watch then back at her, "It's perfect Mina." He'd give her another kiss before putting it on, "thank you."

Jesus Christ Ryan, the two of yall just got together. You really need to stop being a damn man thot tryna get hella kisses and shit.

Mei would smile a little as she pulled out a small box of her own and gave it to J'me, "Here, I made this for you." She'd have a slight blush on her face as she gave it to him. It was a bracelet that had a button on it. 

J'me would open the gift and hugged Mei. "It's amazing, thank you so much Mei." He put the bracelet on and touched the button to see what it would do.

The bracelet would instantly shoot out around his arm, creating a gauntlet that could shift into a shield.

J'me's eyes widened in excitement as he hugged Mei again. "This is really amazing! I can't wait to use this in battle!"

She hugged him back and blushed a bit more. "Y-you're welcome J'me…"

Ryan would glance down at Mina and see that she was now asleep, still sitting on his lap with her legs wrapped around him, and leaning on his chest with her arms around him. "So... we're staying here for the night right?"

"Yeah I guess so...except Mineta is not staying." 

Mineta looked sad for a second, "why not?!!"

Ryan would smile a bit before motioning to Mineta's pillow, "I think he'll be fine."

J'me looked at the pillow and rolled his eyes. "He does one thing and he's out in the snow for the rest of the night." 

Iida stood up and started waving his arms around. "Alright guys! Time to get into our pajamas and into the sleeping bags!"

Ryan would smile as he looked down at Mina again and saw she was already in pjs. "Umm... I'm ready."

Before J'me changed he called out to Ryan, "Yo Ryan can I talk to you outside before we had to bed?"

He'd nod and slightly/gently moved mina off of him, "Sure." He'd stand up and start walking to the door.

He pressed the button on the bracelet so it wouldn't cover his arm anymore. He grabbed his coat and tossed Ryan's to him. "Put that on dipshit." He said putting his coat on and walking outside.

He'd laugh a little before catching it and slipping it on. "Ok mate," He'd then walk out after him.

He made sure the door was closed before speaking. "So, what are we gonna do about All Might? Since I have all these powers I wanna heal him but I don't wanna fuck up the timeline."

He'd shrug as he thought about it, "I could heal him too... but I don't think we should mess up the timeline."

"I mean we already fucking up the timeline just from being here...hell even Kirishima knows I'm not originally from here."

He'd nod slightly "Same with Mina...."

"Hold up wait a fucking minute Ryan. How the fuck did that happen?" 

"It's a long story to say the least J'me."

"I don't give a damn, you better tell me."

"Well it all started at the hero vs villain part..." He'd go on to explain how they worked together and she realized that he knew the place, and so he explained to her what happened.

"I see...well shit not everyone needs to know we aren't from here."

"I know...Mina said she'll keep quiet as well."

"So did Kirishima," He would let out a small sigh. "How much of the timeline do you think is affected just from us being here?"

He'd start scratching his head a little before he responded. "Uh.. probably all of it.. considering there's that other girl.. Mari I think.."

"I don't think she's really affecting the timeline, considering it's like she's been here her entire life."

He'd nod, "Yeah...wait. What if she's the first thing that's wrong with this timeline...all because we came here."

"Ryan what the fuck are you trying to hint at?"

"Maybe she's here because we're here..."

"That could be possible but how could that even happen?"

He'd make a dense spike and start drawing in the snow, "This is their timeline." He'd draw a straight line off of their timeline "This is the timeline now, since we appeared here..." He'd then draw a line from the front of the main timeline to the tip of their timeline, "But there's always a possibility that these two timelines separated at the start of the first one because we were destined to be here.." He hoped J'me was keeping up.

"Why were the four of us destined to be here then? What use do we have here..." He then realized why. "What if we are here because of overhaul? We know they had trouble fighting him."

He shrugged a little, "Or maybe we're here for a different threat." As he said this Mina would come out and with a tired voice saying, "You left me on the couch baby."

J'me would simply nod, Mei came out with Mina as well. "J'me come on it's getting lateeeee." J'me chuckled and started walking inside, "come on Ryan."

He'd laugh some as he put his coat on Mina and picked her up, "C'mon let's go in." He'd then walk in and sit back down on the couch with Mina, who was already asleep and had her legs and arms wrapped around him, and pulled her closer before pulling a blanket over them.

J'me would grab Mei's hand and guide her to his room. "Goodnight guys!" He called out before leaving the living room.

Everyone fell asleep rather quickly, it was a quiet night. The only one who didn't get sleep that night was Iida. That was because he kept hearing weird noises in J'me's spare bedroom which beforehand, he saw Ryan and Mina go in there in the middle of the night.

Once the sun started to rise, J'me woke up and decided to make a big breakfast for everyone.

He quietly made his way into the kitchen without waking anyone up and started to cook.

After a few hours passed, the food was finally done and everyone was awake. "If you make a mess, clean it up please." Once he said that he let everyone eat. While they were eating, he went into the living room to sit down and relax. 

That's when Mari came into the living room as well. "Hey, J'me right?" She said slightly messing up his name.

"Yeah that's me, what do you want Mari?" He had a confused look on his face, normally she never even talked to J'me.

"Um...I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for throwing the party and making us breakfast, I know you didn't have to do that…" The immortal spoke with a warm tone in her voice.

"Oh, it's not a problem. I just wanted our first Christmas to be special, that's all really. Merry Christmas by the way." He said with a smile on his face. 

Mari simply smiled at the reasoning, "Merry Christmas J'me." She then walked into the kitchen.

Everyone ate breakfast and shortly left after. Of course they thanked J'me beforehand for the party and food.

Thus the end of One's Rebirth, the Christmas special. Merry Christmas everyone!

[jaskier-the-bard]

"Nobody has seen you in days" from the angst prompt list, for Geralt x Jaskier. Bonus points if its from Geralt to Jaskier! Thank you!!

So this is actually the request that made me think of Leon. I hope that you like the encounter! 

@awhitewyvern @dazedandinked @a-hopeful-disaster @yeet-me-out-tonight @chelseabunnyhoney @jacksnervesofsteel @thatonequaker @theflamboyantstranger @dinchenrockt @this-is-whump-dammit @avengerssherlocknerd @rock-on-the-radio @sarcasmwithasideofsass @spookylostboy @borncreativity @darknightchan @sayoonnor @passionfangjrl @master-of-apostrophes @hologh0st @wickedrum @jemenszi @jacksnervesofsteel @ironwinterhawk @baldyxavier @watanukidomeki @tyrala1 @not-so-daily-shit-of-a-fangirl @pandabearlawliet @sapphic–nerd @widevibratobitch @creativeautistic

Warnings: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, alcoholism, crying, and self-hatred

Pairings: Brief Jaskier/OC and developing Jaskier/Geralt 

Jaskier was missing. The bard had appeared to completely vanish off the face of the continent, leaving no note, no belongings, and no sign of when he would return. If anyone asked him, Geralt would have said he didn't care. He would have said good riddance, he and the bard weren't really that close anyway, and when he showed up again tell him Geralt of Rivia never even looked at him. But the truth was, Geralt did care. A lot. Far more than he cared to admit, actually. And he did look for Jaskier. Geralt searched every bar, inn, brothel, and establishments that had bards play for them that he knew Jaskier frequented. He had almost given up on his search completely when he stumbled into one last bar late that night, hoping for some beer before finally heading home. He paid the bartender his dues and pulled his drink towards him, taking it back and drinking a long, hard, gulp. He set it down with a grunt, took a breath, and almost took another swig when he saw the patron beside. He wore a large cloak with the hood covering his face. It was barely nightfall, but the stranger was surrounded by empty mugs of beer and gods knew what else. 

"You alright there?" Geralt asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but quietly concerned for the person beside him. The stranger had begun to lift another drink to their lips but they froze at the sound of Geralt's voice. There was a long, loud sigh and a soft 'fuck' before the hood was lowered. Geralt recoiled in surprise. "Jaskier! What are you doing here?" The bard huffed and waved his drink, tipping his head back and downing the whole thing in one go. He slammed it down when he finished and wiped his mouth, gesturing to the bartender for another. "No one has seen you for days! Is this what you've been doing? Drinking all your money away?" Geralt demanded, his tone rising slightly with anger. 

"Hello to you, too," Jaskier muttered, rolling his eyes and taking his drink from the bartender. Geralt grit his teeth in irritation, turning away from the annoying bard and getting another drink for himself. Maybe Jaskier should have stayed gone, he was just as insufferable drunk as he was normally. He was taking another drink of beer when he heard a soft sniffle from next to him. He glanced over at Jaskier to see the bard rapidly wiping away a stray tear. His eyes were already rimmed with red and his face was wet from tear stains. Geralt's jaw dropped in alarm. How had he not noticed that before? Jaskier met his eyes for a moment and Geralt saw a mix of shame, anger, and sadness within them. Seeing his friend (for that's truly what Jaskier was, even if Geralt denied it) hunched over a mug of ale with his eyes puffy and red pulled at Geralt's heartstrings in just the right way. He moved closer to the bard. 

"Talk to me." Jaskier choked out a laugh, shaking his head and taking another drink. 

"There's nothing to tell, I promise you. I thought you were tired of my talking anyway," he replied, raising an eyebrow at Geralt over his drink. The witcher sighed, looking down into his beer and trying to figure out what to say. The silence that commenced between them was tense and awkward, but neither of the men seemed brave enough to break it. The tense silence was broken by a stranger approaching Jaskier at the bar. 

"Hey there, handsome. Come here often?" the young man said, winking at Jaskier as he bought himself a drink. He wasn't bad looking, with fair, messy, blond hair, blue eyes, and a tall, lean frame. He was fairly muscular as well but looked like a twig next to Geralt. Jaskier looked the man up and down and his face turned red but he rolled his eyes, scooting closer to Geralt.

"Sod off," he snapped, taking another drink from his mug. Geralt waved to the bartender for another drink but kept an on Jaskier's admirer. The man seemed to stumble over his next words a bit. Good. Not a real threat then, just an oblivious moron. 

"Aw, come on now, don't be shy. I'm just trying to be friendly. My name's Leon." The man stuck out a hand, which Jaskier ignored. Leon began to talk again but Geralt cut him off by slamming his mug down on the bar, making both of the younger men flinch. "Can I help you?" Leon asked, no bite in his voice, looking at Geralt with genuine confusion. 

"The bard said to leave him alone," Geralt said gruffly. Leon frowned and began to protest when Geralt drew his sword, pushing the pointed end under Leon's chin. He froze, looking at the tip of the blade with crossed eyes, swallowing nervously. 

"Right. I'll leave you two to it then!" Leon said quickly, giving Geralt a grin and a two-fingered salute before scurrying off back to the corner he came from. Geralt grunted and took a seat directly next to Jaskier. The bard sighed, swirling his drink and looking down at it sadly. 

"Shame, he's my type too. If only he'd caught me at a better time..." Jaskier said mournfully, resting his chin in his hand. Geralt was taken aback at the comment about Jaskier finding the other man attractive, having always assumed his companion was straight, but if he was being honest it made sense that Jaskier liked getting the best of both worlds. He cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting in his seat at the bar. 

"What...what exactly did happen, Jaskier? You vanished into thin air, and then I find you getting absolutely plastered all alone in a bar. What's wrong?" Geralt asked. He hoped that he sounded sincere. Jaskier chanced a glance at him before staring back into his mug, chewing at his bottom lip. 

"You'll think it's stupid." Geralt rolled his eyes. "No, really, you will, and I'm not exactly in the mood to be laughed at," Jaskier mumbled. Geralt's smile faded and he sighed, turning in his seat so that he faced Jaskier, leaning against the bar and looking at the bard intently, giving him his full attention. Jaskier's eyes flickered over Geralt's face, searching for any sign of insincerity. Finding none, he cleared his throat and began his brief but telling explanation. "I had a rather unsavory encounter with someone a little while ago..." Jaskier's voice trailed off and he looked at Geralt somewhat fearfully, but he just saw the witcher staring back at him. He licked his lips before continuing. "He didn't show any signs of it at first. He was at my performance that night, and then...well, he said he liked me. I've always been open to partners of either sex, so I agreed. It turned out to be a trick. There were...three other men in the room." Jaskier glanced down quickly, his fingers tightening around his mug until they were white. "They, ah...called me some things. A flaming faggot, for one. That made me laugh, it's such a ridiculous saying, but they said other things that were much crueler. Threw a few punches as well, but it was nothing too awful. It was mostly...their...the way they looked at me. Like I was some sort of freak." The bard's voice was quivering slightly and he sniffed, hastily wiping at his face, trying to make it look like he was rubbing dirt off. Geralt's intense gaze softened slightly. 

"That's why you said no to Leon, then. The encounter has...made you afraid of strangers approaching you?" Geralt guessed, his hand twitching slightly as he fought the urge to put an arm around his friend. Jaskier nodded quickly, sighing and wiping at a few more stray tears. Geralt looked around the bar until his eyes fell on Leon. The man was drinking alone, his chin resting on one of his hands as he looked off with a rather bored and sad expression. "The lad seems sincere enough. Why don't you go talk to him?" Geralt commented. Jaskier straightened and turned slightly to follow Geralt's gaze. He looked at Leon for a moment before shaking his head, smiling slightly to himself before turning back to the bar. 

"He seems nice enough, but...well. I've got all the company I need right here," Jaskier said quietly, looking at Geralt with a wider smile and taking a drink. Geralt blinked in surprise but couldn't help smiling a bit himself. He moved closer to Jaskier, their arms almost touching. Anyone who saw the two of them there together at the bar would have immediately known the affection that they held for each other. It would take just a little longer for them to find out themselves.