#just watched a little video on bad decisions that actually turn out well

[invinciblerodent]

From now on, I'm just going to assume that anyone who calls Gale any variation of "pompous", "arrogant", "annoying", "a jerk", or anything to that effect, and talks at length about how they hate him and/or have killed him, is just bellyaching and being a baby over them not understanding his speech. That's right, at this point I'm ascribing a literal skill issue to being wrong about a fictional character.

Aww, poor baby, did the Mean Wizard hurt your tiny, smooth widdle brain by saying "adroit"? Did his correct use of "foeti", the latinate plural of "foetus", frighten you? Aww, I'm so sowwy. That must be so tough for you, being so scared of fun words and the general concept of whimsy. I can't hear you over myself tongue-kissing the pretty man with the calf-eyes and the slutty waist.

[ishaslife]

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

[crimsonender]

Why do you care so much about Lily Orchard

Actually getting this a little backwards. I took notice of Lily Orchard as an individual earlier this year, back in January to March, when she was listed amongst a series of trans creators that are unfairly scrutinized. As she was the only one who had a Tumblr at the time I began following her because I wanted to basically spite transphobes. I've come under fire myself for being trans in the past.

What I discovered in the months I followed her is that she had awful takes and was really dismissive and sometimes outright mean to her fans. I went to a live stream or two, and I watched a couple videos. I soon became critical of her, and decided to do some research. This lead me to Hiding in Private and Sai Scribbles. At the time, I was focused on Lily being a bad YouTuber, both in terms of content and how she treated her fans.

I knew that no one else was going to cover her video on the Coffin of Andy and Leyley because most people dismiss this gothic horror game as problematic and incestuous. As a fan of the genre and the game itself I decided to cover the video. Then as a spur of the moment decision at the end of that stream I decided to cover her latest Kingdom Hearts video as well. This would turn into a an edited video later on where I was very insistant on not focusing on Lily's actions and the allegations. I was mostly concerned with her rhetoric and behaviour as a YouTuber, because I had been wanting to talk about media analysis for a long time. As you can see from my coverage on MatPat, Anita Sarkiseen, Anthony Gramgulia, and iDubbbz. I think there is something fundamentaly flawed with the way the modern internet analyzes media. Each of these individuals has contributed negatively to this rhetoric in their own way, but where people like Anthony and iDubbbz and even Sarkiseen have tried to improve (and in Anthony's case a large reason for the majority of his writing that is worthy of criticism was how he was editorialized by the publications he worked for) Lily has always doubled down and gotten worse. Moreover my biggest issue with Lily right now is how she interacts with her fandom, which is unique to her. She has been publically very sexual towards them, she encourages anti-intellectualism, has a history of abuse, so yeah that definitely is a factor. My last two videos were less about her media analysis and more about how she interacts with her audience and the world around her. I think people like Lily are dangerous.

I don't hate everyone I cover. I'm friends with Anthony and I like his videos and style of writing. He's not perfect but he's also very open to criticism. iDubbbz I'm not a big fan of but for the most part I'm fairly indifferent to. MatPat's videos while I'm highly critical of them, are somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me and I've been watching him since he released his first Starfox video. Sarkiseen I am more critical of but acknowledge she was one of the first people to make videos about feminism in modern media on the scale she was doing it. I wouldn't say anything these people are doing is dangerous.

If Lily was just some woman on the internet with a bad opinion then I probably wouldn't care. It's Lily's control over such a large number of people that worries me. Dismantling her rhetoric is how we show the people she has control over a way out. It's how we teach people that have been trained to turn their brain off that they should think for themselves. Videos like Joon the King's covering her allegations are important don't get me wrong, but unless we teach people to think for themselves, they're just going to fall for the next grifter to come along. The crux of the matter is that no one person should dictate what your opinion is based on how big of a fan you are of them. This problem is so much bigger than Lily. Lily just represents this issue to such a large degree.

[ganondoodle]

i am so extremely confused on how you can acknowledge belly dancing not needing to be sexual yet. still insist that nintendo is sexualizing young gerudo with the attire. the makeup, heels and how impractical it is to wear the shit they wear in the desert i understand. im not defending those design mistakes. but??? jfc.

oh. so, assuming you are the same anon as before, you WERE asking in bad faith then, or are intentionally missunderstanding what im saying, got it, and now you are trying to twist my words around to fit your little narrative about me being the problem and not mega corporation uwu nintendo with a history of racism (to which this issue is extremely attached to)

so, since you apparently didnt understand what i said, and didnt watch the video i attached either, bc that goes into detail of everything as well, im gonna spell it out once more, and i will even EMPHASIZE words like THIS, so its easier to understand, just for you <3

i did NOT say that the 'belly dance' outfit doesnt NEED to be sexual, i SAID it is/was not sexual IN ITS ORIGIN, BUT was TURNED INTO what boils down to nothing else but a sexy strippers outfit by western people and has been used as NOTHING BUT sexual for decades in the vast majority of media of all kind-

which MEANS, that although in ORIGIN it might not have been sexual, the unfortunate PROBLEM is that through its extreme popularization as such you now have to assume IT IS sexual, bc that is pretty much ALWAYS the intent, people dont even know it as anything but a sexual thing

and before you can even say the "well maybe they didnt intent it a such" blah blah, this is NOT SOLELY about the outfit itself being the only problem here, its the whole package, even if they DID have good intentions or did it subconsciously (which, mind you, should also tell you just how much this kind of picture of middle eastern people has been spread, how common it is to see them like this that its what most people actually think they are like) it nevertheless sends a certain message, and again, ITS THE WHOLE FUCKING PACKAGE, everything, from outfit, to design elements, to dialog, to lore, to even camera angles, you cannot view it as a seperate thing bc it is, inherently, not able to be seperated from everything, its as if you took an incredibly racist caricature, zoomed in and said "LOOK they used a realistic kind of skin tone, its totally not racist!!"

you also called these design decisions "mistakes", but they are not, in fact mistakes, a mistake is when you notice after posting a drawing that you forgot to color in a strand of hair, however, ALL of these design and writing decisions are deliberate, they had to sit down, in a giant team of people, to come up with it, then proceed to design and write it, approve it, make it, and ship it, and saw no problem with it, which is a problem

now, im not saying nintendo personally is telling you "its ok to fuck kids", but things have meanings, and if you are making something, ESPECIALLY using something that isnt of your own culture, you should think about things, and what meanings a thing can have attached to, they are a giant corporation, not a single, very uninformed at best- or very racist at worst, human being, they have the means to do research, but they did not do it or think its fine, maybe even good, which deserves to be called out

i am a big, and longtime, zelda fan, but beign a fan of something doesnt mean you cannot criticise it, or aknowledge that its in many ways flawed, part of being a fan is being able to recognize things that are bad and demand better

if you send me another ask spouting bullshit or purposefully missunderstanding what im saying im gonna punt you into the filthy barrel of blocked porn bots, bc i dont have anon messages enabled to receive shit like this but to allow people who might be too shy to send normal asks to talk to me.

jfc.

[woso-dreamzzz]

hate exam szn. i was late to the fateful jenni agenda day 🥲

i didn’t even realize the summary for alexia’s version was you come home and so when i read jenni’s summary—you go home—my stomach actually dropped. was like damn shots fired, feeling bad for alexia but yk she made her bed (unknowingly of course… but still)

bambi being strong and weak against alexia and feeling suffocated when she hugged her? calling out to her only to GIVE HER BACK THE TRAIN? spain without the s.

the (sort of) putellas erasure and feeling content at the thought of just being a hermoso actually hurts 😭 i’ve lowkey wanted this outcome the entire series and now that it’s here i’m sobbing. getting the “worst traits” from alexia and thinking she’d have let bambi stay if she were good at football oh my. jenni having always supported bambi’s interest in ballet feels right though. do you think jenni ever posts about it (perhaps not bambi’s face specifically, more so things related to bambi and to ballet) with so much pride and it gets back to alexia like a slap to the face? or even eli/alba visiting in mexico to watch a big recital and eli’s posts are more private so there are just videos on top of videos of bambi dancing—how does alexia react to all of this? alexia makes the decision that jenni’s better for bambi, but do you ever think she hates that fact? does it ever frost her relationship with jenni?

i was also wondering how olga reacts to bambi leaving. does this mean there’s never a true relationship between the two? bambi wouldn’t get a lot of time with alexia so i feel like alexia would inadvertently push olga to the side when bambi’s here. is olga just jaume’s mother? do you think bambi ever reflects on the fact that the addition of olga into bambi’s life was definitely a turning point? (so many questions omg… sorry) does jenni ever speak about olga and alexia in a bitter sense? does alba ever confront olga as well?

i hope that bambi’s a little more expressive of her feelings with jenni in this alternate outcome. the “so’s mine” and no one hears… the guinea pig comment too. bambi i’m getting you out of all the pain you’ve ever endured. i hope that she’s able to (in both outcomes) overcome this fear of speaking up for herself… because she won’t be able to realize that none of this was her fault if she doesn’t express she feels this way 🥲

also: holy shit. the mami never wanted you to you think mami is special to you know she’ll be the best mami in the world to jaume too LASHED ME W SO MUCH PAIN. SPAIN WITHOUT THE S. bambi’s always held alexia to the highest regard and despite her experiences alexia is never hated/despised. this might be a result of unreliable narrating given bambi’s reflection of her family and “how things are” are most definitely influenced by how she feels… but bambi thinking she was lucky alexia loved her ENOUGH to look after her until someone else could. NOT EVEN CARE FOR HER. look after. pain. her reflection of jenni always having loved her cements my feelings towards my internal jenni/alexia debate. (it’s always favoured jenni) of course alexia never meant for this to happen… “this” meaning bambi (from the beginning she’s faced difficulty on if she even wanted to go through with the pregnancy) but also this as in what’s occurred to bambi in general. to me though, alexia had full autonomy to end the pregnancy. she chose to have bambi. to me that signifies consenting to take on the responsibilities of a parent, and alexia failed that. though people make mistakes… this was dragged on and obviously has long-lasting consequences and haunts not just her, but bambi too. jenni’s constant and unwavering love for bambi hopefully will mend this trauma and heal her from the pain she’s been put through at such a young age

honestly after all this, even if i feel for alexia and we see how happy she is to get bambi back… we see more of how affected bambi’s been in this situation—and if we think about it, this is how bambi feels when she’s not forcing herself to accept alexia’s love especially when it feels so foreign. it matters that alexia tried but i think that train being broken was symbolic of her relationship with bambi… even when olga mended it it’d never be enough—it’s broken now and bambi hands back the new train (the one that should’ve been her birthday present) and to me that feels like bambi passing on this sort of responsibility to alexia with regard to jaume. this is a new train (a new child) and bambi wishes for alexia to take care of it and not break it the way she broke bambi.

still crying though. i love this series. thank you for always choosing the most painful words and sharing such a nuanced story <3 sorry for all the long rambles! there should probably be a feature to hide my asks bc i feel like it must be annoying have to scroll through it if you don’t want to read it 😭 you are the best though and everything you write is always a pleasure to read <33333

ps. princesse’s “mapi who doesn’t play football” HC is my most favourite. mapi’s the most supportive tattoo-acquiring, stray cat feeding girlfriend in the world and ingrid deserves nothing less

another ps. the first time i met my youngest sibling i lifted the blanket and got punched in the nose too. cub i love u <3

Long anon! I missed you! 😘

Bambi giving Alexia back the train was being planned for so long. It was always going to happen. It was just a matter of time that I put it in somewhere.

Jenni definitely posts about Bambi. She's such a proud Mama. She's careful with it though. None of the pics on her actual account fully show Bambi's face but she'll show Bambi's face on her story. There's countless photos of Bambi showing off her new ballet shoes (and then her pointe shoes when she's old enough to have them) and there's so many of the back of Bambi's head surrounded by her trains.

Eli definitely has more freedom in posting about Bambi because her account is private. She adores Bambi and practically all of her recitals end up on Eli's account, where Alexia usually gets her unfiltered information about Bambi from.

Olga and Bambi only really have a foundation of a relationship, the one that was made in the hospital, and it kind of stays that way. It develops a little bit as Bambi gets older but not much. Olga is mainly Jaume's mama and Alexia's partner. As Bambi grows up, she definitely comes to understand that her life changed the day that Alexia and Olga sat her down to talk about giving her a sibling.

Jenni doesn't really like to talk about Alexia and Olga to Bambi. She doesn't want to remind Bambi of them because she knows she's going to bitter about them so she just doesn't talk about them. Alba doesn't really confront Olga about anything. Her main job was getting Bambi out of that situation and she's done that now. She does keep a careful watch for the same warning signs for Jaume just in case.

Also about the train symbolism. The Bambi Train was ceramic. It looks strong but it's actually so fragile (Alexia dropped it and it completely shattered) while the Jaume Train is a proper model train. It's actually strong and if someone drops it, there's not going to be a lot of damage. It kind of signifies Alexia as a parent. She got a lot wrong with Bambi and she knows that but in the end, she ended up shattering the train (she broke their relationship). But with Jaume's train (and his and Alexia's relationship now and in the future) has stronger foundations and can take a few mistakes along the way without ruining it. Alexia has changed as a parent and giving Bambi to Jenni makes her want to be the best parent she can be to Jaume so neither of her kids have to suffer again.

I love reading your long rambles and I was so excited this morning to wake up and see you in my inbox again! I've got a few more parts of Injured stocked up with the first appearance of teen!Bambi that I'm so excited about!

[captainsophiestark]

Sleight of Hand

Jimmy Woo x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024!

Fandom: Marvel

Day Twenty-Four Prompt: "You didn't do anything wrong!"

Summary: Jimmy gets a little help from his spouse to master the card trick he saw Scott Lang do.

Word Count: 1,118

Category: Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

She cautiously stepped around the corner, coming face to face with...

I froze, my attention drifting from the book in my hands at a weird noise behind me. It sounded like some kind of fluttering, but when I didn't hear it again, I went back to my book.

...coming face to face with-

"Shoot!"

I set my book down. The noise had come again, along with something light hitting our hardwood floors before my husband, Jimmy Woo, huffed. I marked the page in my book, set it down, then turned around to look over the back of the couch.

I frowned when I saw Jimmy with one empty hand out in front of him, like he was waiting for a handshake from someone invisible. He hadn't noticed me watching him, and after a moment of intense concentration, he jerked his arm quickly like he was trying to shake something out of his sleeve. Lo and behold, a card fell out. He tried to catch it between his fingers, but he missed, and instead it fluttered to the floor.

"Argh!"

"Honey." Jimmy's head snapped up to look at me as soon as I spoke. "What are you doing?"

"It's this card trick thing... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your reading."

I shook my head, turning on the couch to face him more fully.

"It's okay. What card trick thing?"

"You remember that guy I told you about? Scott Lang?"

"The ant guy? Yeah."

"Well, the last time I checked in on him, he did this card trick where he just made a card appear in his hand, like out of nowhere. It was actually really cool, so... I've been trying to teach myself how to do it."

I stared at Jimmy for a minute, processing. He stared back. Finally, I smiled.

"Okay. Let me help."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I stood from the couch, strecthing a little before walking around to join my husband. "I need a break from all the bad decisions the main character's making in my book, anyway. Let's learn some couples closeup magic."

*****************

I'd assumed it would be a fairly easy trick to learn. Don't ask me why, but I just figured it would take us maybe an hour, tops, and we'd both be making cards appear and disappear like pros. That was very much not how it went.

A few hours after I'd first noticed Jimmy practicing, we were still watching videos and trying to do the trick slowly, quickly, and everything in between with no luck. Technically, we were doing a little better than when Jimmy had first started, but the trick was still escaping both of us.

I watched carefully as Jimmy tried to do it again, and to me, it looked perfect. But the card still dropped to the floor instead of sliding smoothly into his hand.

Jimmy sighed, shoulders slumping as he looked up at me.

"What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong! That should've worked! What the fuck is it with this trick?"

Jimmy laughed, shaking his head as he leaned over to pick up the card again.

"I'm glad you decided to help me. I was getting pretty frustrated, but seeing how much more frustrated it's making you is weirdly making me calm."

I huffed and crossed my arms. "Glad I could help. But seriously, I feel like you're doing everything right. I can't tell what's wrong, or why it's not working."

"It has to be the finger movement," he said, setting up the card again. "I'm fumbling it when I'm obviously not supposed to."

"Frankly, I'm not convinced it's possible to pull this trick off without fumbling the card. Are you sure that Lang guy wasn't messing with you?"

Jimmy laughed again. "Pretty sure, but I guess you never know."

I just sighed as Jimmy prepared to try the trick again. I watched, but not as carefully as before. I'd been looking for some clue as to where we were going wrong for hours now, and hadn't been able to find it. Maybe it was just going to take a lot more practice, no matter how we tried to do it.

Jimmy took a deep breath, then extended his hand. I didn't see the card move, but suddenly, it appeared in his hand. Nowhere near the floor. Exactly how the trick was supposed to work.

"OH MY GOD!" I shouted, jumping up in the air the moment the shock wore off. Jimmy grinned, laughing in disbelief as he stared at the card in his hand. I didn't give him much time to savor it before tackling him with a hug. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!"

Jimmy laughed again, absolutely joyous, as he wrapped his arms around me. I pulled back a moment later, just enough to kiss him. After all that work and frustration over the past few hours, it felt amazing to see him pull off the trick perfectly.

After a moment, the two of us calmed down slightly, taking a step apart even though the gigantic grins were still on our faces. Jimmy's had more of a lopsided tilt to it, which made my heart race.

"...Do you think we're celebrating this a little too much?" he asked. I immediately shook my head.

"Hell no we're not. Do it again."

Jimmy took a deep breath, resetting the card and actually starting with his hand by his side this time. He lifted it, and in one smooth motion, the card appeared in his hand, extended towards me. I actually screamed, jumping up and down, and after a moment Jimmy joined me.

I pulled Jimmy in for another kiss, and when we finally broke apart, he was still giddy. He did the trick another few times in a row, and although he stumbled a little on one of the moves, the card still didn't hit the ground. He was getting smoother every time.

"This calls for a celebratory dinner," I decided. "I'll get something started, you grab some wine. We toast to the defeat of the magic trick that thought it could defeat us."

Jimmy laughed. "Sounds like a plan to me. Thanks for all your help. I can't wait to use that trick the next time I need to give somebody one of my cards."

"You know I'm always here for you, including and especially for stuff like this. No card trick, random guy you see at work, or Avengers-level threat can stop us."

"Damn right."

Jimmy grinned at me, and I leaned in for one last kiss before heading to the kitchen. Sometimes the smaller, less important victories felt the best, and one of my favorite things about my amazing husband was how willing he was to celebrate those moments with me.

Although, after all the time we'd spent today, this victory felt far from small.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hiii, miss me?

Now you want to kiss me (or have to? Wasn't there a song like that?)

This month my blog turned two years old. I got the notification in my email. Last year I made an entire celebration post by publishing the funniest/ridiculous asks I got. There were good times back then. Still. Not so much afterwards.

I wasn't the nicest presence in the last few months leading to me abandoning the blog. And I wasn't too discreet about it. Although there was more to it, a lot more. But I'll get there.

First things first. Why am I here when on the 24th of March I dramatically declared that I'm leaving forever? Well, that was a very emotionally-charged post and the result of a few factors. I'm not entirely proud of how I made my exit, but it's also a true reflection of my personality so there's no point in making excuses. Nevertheless, I will explain as much as I can (I still care about privacy, just like before).

On that Friday, I woke up excited. I took a day off from work (yes...I know), I listened to Face, watched the music video. All good. But I was also dreading a bit having to come here because I knew there was this expectation of me to come up with some thought-provoking analysis, say something smart and all that. I was exhausted on all levels, emotionally and intellectually. I had also promised to leave after the promotions were over, somewhere in the middle of April (who would have thought it would last 9 days? Not me), but the plans changed. Not to drag it too much, but on that day I also officially announced to some concerned parties that I'm changing career paths. You know, just something I thought I'd be doing until the day I die and I've been working towards for at least 10 years. No big deal. I was planning on doing it anyway, but actually saying the words and make it real is a different story. I felt extatic, full of adrenaline, so happy with my decision and at that moment, it felt the right time to close BMT. It was somehow directly connected. I made the blog as an escape and now I got the opportunity to turn the page over. It was perfect. Best day ever. I clicked post, I logged out, and then I sat. And after a while, the reality of my decisions hit me in the face. And I felt sad and empty because what the hell am I doing now and what is my identity? I closed my blog too which was my main hobby. And so followed some difficult days. And then it got better. And then bad again. And so on, because it's a roller coaster.

The thing is, I can change my interests, but I can't stop myself from being opinionated. And getting excited. And wanting to talk about it. And share all that on a public platform with some strangers that are interested in what I have to say. Or they used to. It's who I am.

This blog won't remain Bangtan Media Thoughts because I want more than that. I will rebrand this page. I could start fresh with a new blog, but this is still my space and I know some people were interested in reading about other things as well from me, not just BTS. I hope I can built something from that.

The blog won't reflect only a specific niche of interests, but everything that I like in terms of pop culture. From movies, music, fashion, gossip, you name it. Including Kpop. And if I feel the need to rant about Hybe after talking about Ryan Gosling's Ken, I will. Same about JM, JK or whoever I feel like it. If there is a good advice that I got in the last few months, is to adapt and not force myself to abandon something completely. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. And to be honest, it was easier to give up smoking than completely lose interest in kpop. It's a habit. Perhaps this new blog will reflect the way I try to deal with that. A bit more honestly, a little less discourse, certainly less essays because I don't have them in me at the moment. But never say never. This blog will be all me, not just BMT.

I will change the name and url 24h after I post this. This will be an opportunity for all my followers to decide if they want to stay or they are not interested in the new direction. Feel free to do as you please. I welcome new people and greet the old ones who didn't hit unfollow for some reason.

It will go like this:

Bangtan Media Thoughts > Reflections in a Critical Eye

New theme, new profile photo, new beginnings.

All the old posts will still be here. I don't plan on deleting anything. They are all a product of me and my brain and they have their place. I'll probably pin some new posts these days that have to do with the rebranding. It will be like a construction site, but it will be worth it.

One last thing though. After I abruptly left, I received some DMs. I saw them back then. I do feel sorry about those who wanted to check in with me or with whom I used to talk regularly. But I do hope that some of the things I said today will explain my behavior. I also won't start communicating again like that, at least for now. I always felt a bit pressured and I'm not the best at maintaining conversations in private. If that changes, I'll make that clear.

That's it for now. I'm excited. I feel like writing again so here's to another chapter.

My inbox is open and will be, just as usual. No more messages to BMT, but you can call me M. Like in the Bond movies 😉

[zprites]

TMNT All 4-1 Challenge

I kept debating on whether or not to participate but I loved all of the entries I've seen and felt compelled to write this.

The Gracious Hosts: @turtle-babe83, @thelaundrybitch, @leosgirl82, @tmnt-tychou, @nittleboo, and @post-apocalyptic-daydream

18+ and a little NSFW towards the end (maybe?)

I chose the pick up line prompt since I've had a few saved up for a Donnie x reader idea and what better time than now to use them. I edited as I wrote so if I did miss something, sorry in advance for any errors.

Is it bad? Probably. Am I proud of the Homestuck reference? Very. Did I expect Donnie's reaction myself? No, and I wrote the damn thing!

Rise! Donnie x F! Reader - All turtles and reader are over 20 years!!! Minors DNI!!

Shut Up.

So give me your two lips And baby, I'll shut up Shut Up - Greyson Chance

The lair around you was silent. With a huff you turned onto your stomach, clutching the pillow you were given close to your chest. The brothers allowed you to stay with them while your apartment building was being renovated after one of the tenets caused a kitchen fire so bad that it affected several floors. 

Although your back has grown stiff from sleeping on their couch for the past week, you were grateful for their hospitality. Splinter often kept to himself, spending much of his free time with Draxum in the Hidden City. Mikey enjoyed having an extra pair of hands that knew their way around a kitchen and Raph began teaching you a few self defense moves, in return you showed him the basics of yoga. Leo was just glad to have another person around with insomnia. The two of you often stayed up late to play video games, mostly Pokemon, as well as watching the newest season of the latest hype anime show. 

The only turtle seemingly upset of your extended stay for whatever reason was Donatello. It’s not that you two didn’t get along; quite the opposite actually. You were two peas in a pod. Almost inseparable. For almost the whole year you’ve known the brothers, the two of you spent countless nights working beside each other in the lab, you working on your novel while Donnie worked on upgrades or new inventions. He was the first and last person you talked to everyday. You shared your past with him, your dreams and fears. On the flip side he told you everything about his work and life. He even confided his insecurities to you one late night after a particularly rough run in with a mutant. You picked up some of each other’s hobbies, at least the ones you didn't already share, having a plethora of inside jokes. 

One of your fondest memories with him was when he took two whole weeks to play your favorite video game series, freaking out over every decision he was forced to make and insisting that you stayed with him the whole time. You couldn’t refuse him when he called you, practically begging you to come over while he rambled about the first hard choice he had to make. You packed a small duffel bag and hunkered down in his room with him for the entirety of those two weeks. 

Honestly, you were certain that you'd do anything he asked you to.

It was no secret that you harbored a massive crush on the resident genius, you realizing your feelings early on. His brothers knew. April knew. Splinter and Draxum knew. Hell even Hypno and Warren knew! The only person who didn’t was Donnie himself. 

It wasn’t for lack of trying. As soon as you came to terms with your crush you tried dropping hints to Donnie, but nothing seemed to work. Except one day, you took Leo’s advice several months back.

“If you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print.”

You almost regretted saying those words. Almost. 

Donatello was pushing himself in his chair throughout his workspace. Upon hearing your words he spun around a bit too carelessly. One of the chair wheels caught one of the many cables that littered his lab, resulting in his chair to tip sideways, sending him onto the floor. He quickly hid his face from your view but you were certain you saw a touch of pink on his cheeks.

Oh… That was something…

Suddenly the alarm sounded throughout the lair, informing the brothers that they were needed elsewhere. You stayed behind in Donnie’s lab once they all left, giddy that you finally got some kind of reaction from him.

However when they returned he acted as though nothing happened. But you didn’t let it get to you. For months you tried to get the same kind of response from him, saying one bad pick up line after another in hopes that he would take the hint.

“Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.”

“You must be the square root of 2, because I feel irrational around you.”

“You seem to be traveling at the speed of light, because time always seems to stop when I look at you.”

“Are you made of Uranium? I’m made of Iodine! That explains why all I can see is U and I together.”

“If you were a bottle of Sprite, I’d obey my thirst.”

Each time he remained stoic, often responding to any pick up line in almost a literal sense, seemingly unaware of your poor attempts to elicit some kind of reaction from him. 

Frankly, you were beginning to grow annoyed. You didn’t know if he was playing dumb or just flat out rejecting you. His brothers encouraged you to keep trying. Mikey even let slip one day that Donnie has ‘that look’ about him when you’re brought up in conversation. 

Which brings you back to now. Unlike the others Donatello made himself scarce during the week you’ve been staying on their couch, finding any excuse to be where you weren’t. You thought back to the last pick up line you told, the first thing you said to him when you arrived at the lair for your stay. 

“I’m just hypothesizing, but I think that the reaction between you and me would be quite exothermic. Care to plot some data points?”

Donnie promptly turned around and walked back to his lab, not coming out until the following day. Since then he barely spoke more than a few words to you.

It hurt. 

Maybe it is pointless… 

You flipped dramatically onto your back, your legs twisting in the lightweight blanket Raph lent you. The dark expanse of the ceiling was all you saw, the quiet hum of the silence providing white noise as you bit your lip.

Fuck it.

Shoving the blanket off you stood up from the couch and walked towards the subway cars that served as the brother’s rooms. You soon arrived at Donatello’s car and knocked on the closed door. When you got no answer you let yourself in, the metal door sliding open with ease. His lab was locked, the irregular beat of techno music barely audible through the nearly impenetrable door. 

You steeled your nerves and placed your thumb on the fingerprint scanner that turned green, allowing you access into his lab. The door slid open and you quickly entered his lab, the door promptly shutting behind you. The music was much louder, reverberating off the metal walls.

Once you made it to the main part of his lab you saw him slumped over his desk. You smiled and shook your head. 

You made your way over and turned off the music from the computer console in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly, waking up at the sudden lack of music and the feel of your hand. 

Once he realized it was you his body stiffened. “You should be sleeping.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re one to talk. I don’t know how you can sleep like that.” 

The two of you stayed like that for a short moment. You let your hand drop and bit the inside of your lip. It’s now or never… Just say how you feel…

“Um… Want to come back to my Quest Bed?” 

And you blew it… God, why did you listen to Leo in the first place?

Donnie frowned at you. “What…?”

Well you’re in too deep now… Might as well get this over with so you can die of embarrassment and he can continue ignoring you…

“My Quest Bed. I can help you reach God Tier…”

He stared at you with a neutral expression, unmoving. You had no idea what was going through his mind which only added to your nervousness. 

Finally he let out an amused breath before standing up. You watched his eyes shine in the purple light that filled the room. 

“So you want to put me to sleep, then kill me?” He raised an eyebrow in curiosity, the smallest hint of a smile playing at the corner of his lips. 

You licked your lips, catching the way his gaze shifted down to them before going back to your eyes. 

Oh…

Don’t fuck this up…

“Well, you know what they say about ‘la petite mort’.” 

Donnie’s eyes closed as he took a shaky breath. 

“You really are trying to kill me, huh?” His eyes focused on yours once more as he took a step forward, leaving only a few inches between the two of you. 

“For months, you’ve been testing my patience with all those dumb pick up lines… I thought you’d stop if I didn’t acknowledge them but you just kept at it…”

Your heart quickened as you realized the implication in his words.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me…?”

You chuckled a bit under your breath. Your soft chuckling soon turned into pure laughter which only confused him. “I’m sorry.” Your laugh died down as you gave him a large grin. “It’s just, out of all the pick up lines it was that one. Damnit…”

He huffed. “Shut up.”

You bit your lip with a smirk. “Make me.”

Before you could react Donnie grabbed your waist, placing a hand under your chin to tilt your head upwards, his lips finally meeting yours. You practically melted in his arms, letting out a soft moan as your hands laid flat against his plastron. 

All too soon he drew back. The hand under your chin moved to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your lips. His dark eyes shone mischievously.

“Now, what did you say about reaching God Tier?”

It’s safe to say that the both of you got no sleep that night.

[alphabetboyluvr]

WIP TAG GAME

rules: post 3 snippets from published work, and 3 from your wips

tagged by: @btsgotjams27

tag: literally anyoneeee who sees this!! lemme see ur work he he (tag me in it!!)

PUBLISHED: BD 42, THROTTLE 4, OTTE WIPS: BD 49, OTTE 2, MONSOON

PUBLISHED WORK

BAD DECISIONS - #42 (x)

"You sound just like him."

If you thought Jungkook looked devastated before, then you've no idea how to describe the way he falls apart now.

Though he remains on his feet, body strong, his eyes sink into a darkness you've never known. His posture slopes. Everything about him reduces like wood to ash in the midst of a forest fire. 'Anguish' sounds far too violent for the gentle way in which Jungkook quietly crumbles, but it's the only thing that's remotely apt for his current expression.

"Don't compare me to him," he says. Swallows. "It's not fair."

But love and war never is.

"Don't do the same shit he did," you counter. "Then maybe I won't."

THROTTLE - 4 (x)

“Hey,” he calls through, his voice muffled slightly through the sliding partition doors. The glass is frosted, but you can make out his silhouette as he kicks his shoes off by the door. “Just been on a job. Emergency at an office building downtown. Some bad wires. Tripped.”

The lies roll off his tongue like butter in a hot pan. They sizzle. Spit. Burn you and scar you with the portrayal of a man who isn’t who he pretends to be.

Thing is, Jungkook is exactly who he pretends to be.

He really does get too hot in the night, and genuinely does find videos of kids falling over far funnier than he knows he should. His hair sticks up on end when he wakes up, and he loves his car more than life itself. The way he winces after taking shots, and his dimples, which form in moments of contemplation beneath his cheeks, are entirely natural to him.

None of it - none of him - is a lie. At his core, Jungkook is the idea in your head; the yellow of midafternoon sun before it sets.

He’s the amber light that flashes before fading into red. 

That’s his issue, though. Inevitably, he will always, unavoidably, turn red.

ONCE THE THRILL EXPIRES (x)

The softness of his lips as he presses them against your sternum, long lashes splayed across the top of his cheeks, has you spiralling. Kind of feels like he’s twisting a corkscrew through your heart. You know he’ll rip it right out - but maybe you’ll let him, if it means he’ll kiss the wound better.

“Hmm?” He hums. One of your hands rests on his shoulder, the other in his hair, and that’s how Jungkook knows he’s rectified the damage done for a short while. It’s like putting washi tape over holes punched in the walls - useless, and bound to fall off eventually, but ever so pretty in the meantime. Another washi-tape kiss is pressed to your skin, a little higher this time. “We had a good night, didn’t we?”

The tenderness of his voice rewrites the events of the evening. A good night. 

Not one with tears, and jealousy, and arguments that people who claim to be just friends have no business having. A night shared together, perhaps, with no one else to intrude.

Didn’t we?

WIPS

BAD DECISIONS - #49

He thinks he’s subtle. Thinks you’re none the wiser. Believes he’s good at hiding how he feels about it all.

Or at least he does, until you start laughing, “It’s one night, Kook. You can survive without me for a night.”

“No, I don’t actually think I can,” he replies without missing a beat, decidedly needy in his lack of denial. “In fact, I think I might-“

“You’re not gonna die,” you smile, reaching out for his hand. He doesn’t resist as you pull his knuckles to your lips, pressing a pretty little kiss upon them, then lowering them to your lap. Your clasp is warm. Welcome. Just like home. “It’s just a night-“

“Just a night,” he echoes, before arguing against you. “Just a night where you’re gonna look all fancy and nice, and I’m gonna have to watch another man taking you to bed-“

“He’s not taking me to bed!”

“Well, then he’s a fool.”

OTTE - #2

Because Jungkook doesn’t care how good you make him feel.

He doesn’t care how comfortable he is with you.

Doesn’t care that he buries himself inside you like it’s the only grave he’ll ever need.

He wants danger. Adventure. To constantly be moving and changing and evolving. Hates who he is, and somehow thinks he’ll love the person he’ll grow to be.

And so even though you’re safe – home – he doesn’t want that.

He wants new beds. New tastes.

Even if he returns home in the morning unfulfilled and disappointed, it still beats spending the night in his own room. Gives him a story to tell. A life experience.

He won’t remember their names. Their faces. How they felt, or the scent of their perfume. Will one day be just a notch in his bedpost.

But you’ll be mentioned at family dinners – How’s she doing? Did she get the job she applied for? – and Jungkook will forever remember the sound of the tiny bell on your anklet as you used to run up and down the hallways of your shared accommodation. He’ll recognise your perfume in a crowded subway station, and whenever he’s alone at night, restless and in need of sleep, he’ll always think of you.  

Come the morning, and a new tinder match is saying hello, he’ll forget you again.

Because they’ll be new, and exciting, and ever so nice, and the kind of girl he’d be lucky to have but–god damnit–they’ll never be you.

He met you too soon. Both of you know it. Both of you struggle with it.

MONSOON

elemental magic au - jjk x oc

“Oi,” Jungkook barks when Yoongi ignores him. “Hand it over.”

It’s always the same. Sometimes the colour changes, and more often than not the gas volume varies, but it’s always the same shitty brand of plastic lighter, with the same identifying initials written on the side of it. Fuckin’ idiot.

With a displeased frown on his face, Yoongi shrugs as Jungkook pockets yet another one of his lighters. “I’ll just buy another.”

“Try it,” Jungkook laughs. “I’ll get you banned from every fuckin’ convenience store in our part of the city if you’re not careful.”

And now Yoongi smiles too. “Gyu would never turn me away.”

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, Beomgyu'll most definitely turn Yoongi away from the convenience store he works at if Jungkook tells him to - but he’ll also smuggle the lighters home for Yoongi, regardless. 

“Gyu’ll do whatever I tell him to do,” Jungkook assures Yoongi. “Kid doesn’t need to get wrapped up in your little schemes.”

[ohchosen]

AUTHOR PORTRAIT ... get to know the author behind the blog! repost, don't reblog !

BASICS

NAME:        val AGE:         24 PRONOUNS:         she / they YEARS OF WRITING:          ok how specific are we talking. because i can say like circa 2010 i was on facebook writing bad twilight fanfiction + rp ( which then progressed into bad thg fanfiction ) or i can say elementary school and my little short stories i was always ad - libbing. regardless, it's definitely something i've had a knack for my whole life and it was literally just a matter of time before i found out about rp. and yes before you ask it was my personal facebook. when i was 11. that had all of my relatives added. yes they saw it. years writing on tumblr is different and i think i jumped ship and found out about tumblr rp around 2012 / 2013 and with that came my first formative decision which was to watch supernatural. you know where this is going. yes it was bad. no i'm not showing anyone.

REFLECTION

WHY DID YOU PICK UP WRITING?           i needed a hobby and had unrestricted internet access. i kind of answered this in the question before so jokes on me blah blah blah but without getting too personal i had a very difficult time in school with mental health and tumblr, known weird kid haven, was my little safe space where i could freely pursue what i enjoyed and was really my first venture into fandom spaces. i started in the supernatural rpc [ horror music ] and slowly meandered my way through book fandoms, to animanga, and finally settled on the video game community where i've been good and SAT for like six years now.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WRITING ROUTINES?          not necessarily. it's a miracle if i'm able to sit down long enough to open up my drafts and get going, but if i can lock in i'm all set. i find it hard to listen to music while writing because my brain cannot separate the two and i will accidentally start writing down the lyrics but i've never actually considered tuning into instrumentals so ,, thank you vos. writing that down............

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WRITING?         stealing from vos in stealing answer solidarity but the rp community aspect. it can be awful and exhausting as some of us know good and well but it can also be incredible depending on who you surround yourself with. it's so validating finding people who share your little niche interest or even niche - er pairing ( hi vos ) and then to just completely devolve into sending memes and posts and screaming until 2 am in dms. i've met so many of my closest friends through rp, and stealing vos' answer again, but the characters i write who turn out the most developed are those who have been shared with friends. noctis would be nowhere near as fleshed out as he is if not for the people i met in the ff fandom all those years ago.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.         oughhghh, um. i'm bad at taking compliments and even worse at complimenting myself so bare with me.

i've definitely grown a lot in terms of style and prose, and i'm actually pretty happy with what i'm able to spit out in terms of aesthetic styling as compared to even a few years ago. one of my biggest insecurities ( that still pops up here and again mind you ) was never being able to match length, and i was in the worst writers' block for a few years that i finally managed to escape out of around 2020 and now i can confidently say i'm writing more regularly than i ever have. so to answer the question: it has been my personal growth in my writing and it turning into something i can be confident in and proud of.

i really do enjoy the mundanity of editing my replies. i love to see the progress i make edit by edit and how cohesive and put together a piece of writing becomes the longer i work on it. i fully 100% devote myself to one reply at a time, which is a nightmare for quantity but sooooooo rewarding if it means i can put something out to the best of my ability and not stress myself out worrying about whatever else i owe. i am a self appointed slowpoke, and i've learned over the years to not let myself feel guilty about that because as long as it can become something i devote time on and put effort into, then it really shouldn't bother me how long it takes.

three things is too much to ask for lets all just walk away slowly.

A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON

HAVE  YOU  MADE  ANY  STRONG  CONNECTIONS  /  FRIENDS DURING YOUR TIME WRITING?          i'm pretty sure this question was intended for vos only but its way too late now and i've already written your accolades so you have to deal with it. this post is just going to be exceptionally long now.

vos @stagehunt my right hand man who has been with me for every gacha related poor financial decision. everything you said i'm literally sending right back to you. i knew no one in that fandom and was in way out of my depth before stumbling across you and your blog. i am so thankful we crossed paths and shoved our little barbie dolls together and said kiss because developing, and i mean really developing tomo would not have happened without your input. at this point you definitely deserve writing credits on him too because the way he turned out would be nowhere near the same if not for your influence. i've had a blast experiencing genshin's story with you and knowing without fail you'll be thinking the exact same thing whenever hyv fumbles the bag again, and yes. one day i GUESS i'll play more than 7 hours of hsr. luv u xoxo.

plum, @sherez, my love, my heart. it's crazy how fast the years have flown by and now all of a sudden i've known you since 2018??? i still remember seeing you from afar on ez and always being blown away by how much love and devotion you put into your characters. we are quite literally bonded for life after surviving the [ redacted ] rpc and i can't think of anyone better to come out beside than you. you can't get rid of me bitch!!!!!!!!! the amount of effort and care i've seen you throw into v, and how far she's come in terms of development blows me away. she is easily one of the best written characters i've ever had the pleasure of reading and i am so excited to keep following her growth. besides how freakishly talented you are, it's astonishing how much we have in common. bc who tf else would i be talking to about forgotten mcr lore in the year of our lord 2024. if no one got me, i know plum got me. booket....... booket for my sweety.......

lu @tactition its crazy how in the short little time we've spent together how much i've bonded with u. if i got down on one knee and pulled out a ring would u say yes.... my yaoi soulmate........ its INSANE how well our character Types (tm) mesh together, and i know karma is coming with its kiss for me when i finally download nier and have to atone for what i put u thru when i made you play final fantasy. please be gentle with me im delicate........... real talk tho.. you have so quickly become such an important person in my daily life and i literally feel myself go !!!! whenever i see a new dm from you because i know its always gonna be good. your character takes blow me away and even for myself who's nearly 7 years deep into the final fantasy scene, it amazes me how you still manage to shed light and new perspective on characters i've known for years. let’s kiss freaky style.

i've very much condensed my little bubble into people i actually want to surround myself with atp, and there's always a handful of mutuals on every blog that i don't necessarily talk to but who have been with me for years now so. sorry you can't leave or i'll become a danger to myself and others. kisses :*

WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE MOST INSPIRATION FROM? this is definitely a muse - specific question since it varies from character to character. with noctis specifically, it's mostly music. i have a few different playlists for him after writing him for so long, and while i can't listen while i write they all offer different types of mood setting for him. other times, its media involving fantasy tropes or characters that have similar struggles to him, off the top of my head ( and something i connected early on ) is the character u.enoyama r.itsuka from given. there's a lot i could say here regarding which aspects i took inspiration from but the majority was the similar personality he has to noctis, the internal thought process he offered when i read the manga, and the way he struggled with his sexuality that struck the loudest chord. don't quote me on any of that since i haven't been caught up with given for like 5 years now but !!!!! yeah the end.

NEW QUESTION: how do you relate to your character personally? are there any overt similarities to the two of you?

tagged by @stagehunt my lover..... tagging - @lunabrae @tactition @sherez

[sissybabycucksophia]

The Adult Baby Adoption Part 2

(This story is complete fiction and although i may desperately wish it isn’t, there is no fact or real world experience behind this story, and themes reflected in the story may be triggering, these themes are not my actual beliefs and are only part of a fantasy kink scenario. Also non of the images belong to me)

Eventually the moment i dreaded came, the elevator finally reached ground floor and with a “Ding” the doors would open into the now bustling lobby. No matter how much i tried to pull back against daddy his strength just embarrassed me more as i failed to resist him pulling me by the hand out into the lobby. “Oh my god Mr Carmichael! Is that the guy who came in earlier? Is that ‘baby’?” The very same doorman who had granted me access said trying to hold back laughter as i turned a deep shade of red and hung my head.

“Of course not! This is my newly adopted daughter! This Weak, Defenceless, Helpless and Cute Little Girl is Jade Carmichael. Also that reminds me Doorman! I want Jades face on the watch list for the building, if jade is caught trying to enter or exit the building i want you to handcuff her, call me immediately and while you wait for me you must make her pray for forgiveness till i arrive. I don’t expect she’ll try to run away but measures have to be put in place just in case” Daddy said to the doorman who insisted on taking a picture of me for the doorman notice board. Once that was done, daddy would ask them to retrieve his car. While we waited daddy took me over too a couch in the lobby where he sat me down and from his bag pulled out a banana.

Sitting down next to me daddy would peel the banana 🍌 before handing it to me. “Can’t have you going hungry till we reach the event Princess, eat up now” daddy encouraged as i looked at the banana nervously, then looking daddy in the eyes i said “I… I… I can’t daddy…. I told the agency I… I don’t like bananas” to which daddy replied, “exactly but your not allergic to them which means you’ve made the childish and unfounded decision that you don’t like them. Well thats going to change, so eat up Jade. Growing girls like you need the potassium!”. Looking at the banana, i felt sick, i’d always hated the mushy texture of bananas but I couldn’t defy daddy now, lord knows I couldn’t handle the embarrassment of public punishment. So i took the phallic fruit in my mouth and began to eat, each bite made me wrench and dry heave and my eyes watered trying to eat the disgusting fruit not helped by daddy insisting i finish the entire banana. Finally though it was finished and daddy smiled as he said “see! That wasn’t so bad? But its ok, since your having a minimum of 1 a day from now on you’ll grow to love them!” As embarrassment and discomfort rippled through me i cuddled Angel in my left arm as daddy then took my right.

“Your car is right out front Mr C, safe drive sir” the doorman said to daddy as he and I stood up and headed to the door. Being led by this big man out into the street I couldn’t help but wonder how different things could have been had i paid more attention on that paperwork, could i be sat on some big titted mommy dom’s lap in a diapered dressed as her little boy and playing video games? How different things could have been!. Stepping outside, there to greet us by the roadside sat a beautiful pastel grey Bentley Mulliner Batur. “Oh my god daddy is that yours!? A Bentley Mulliner Batur! Beneath its gleaming bonnet lies the most powerful expression ever of the 6.0 litre, twin-turbocharged Bentley W12 engine. Thats a 710 horsepower car! The fastest i’ve ever driven is 280 horsepower!!! Just how rich are you!!” At that daddy said one of the most demeaning things to me possible. “Jade, first of all don’t take the lords name in vain like that! Secondly, your a little girl! Little girls don’t like or know anything about cars ok princess! Your little girly brain should be more interested in pretty dresses and makeup than cars. So to teach you not to talk about cars from now on you’ll be spanked for showing or expressing knowledge on them. Also you can’t have driven a car as fast as you say, because little girls like you can’t drive. Finally, how much money daddy has should only be your concern when your thanking me for buying you more pretty dresses.” As he proceeded to reach with his free hand for the passenger door handle. How humiliating, to be told i cant like cars because i’m a little girl, to be gender stereotyped for a gender that i’m not and told what my interests should be🥵 unbelievably humiliating.

Opening the passenger door however would reveal something even worse… sat ok the passenger seat was a pink specifically designed seat harness! On the bottom was a padded cushion with a triangular wedge and several straps then on the back there was a wrap around head rest just big enough for my head with 2 chunky cushions on either side and a strap and finally there was a thick harness to hold my chest. Looking at daddy i whimpered “please no daddy, this is to embarrassing! Im a grown up i don’t need a car seat!” But daddy simply laughed as he pushed and manoeuvred me into position. Sitting on the padded cushion, the triangle wedge was between my legs and pushed the skirt of my dress and jacket up, then would guide my arms through the arm holes of the harness before closing it and strapping it tightly so i couldn’t sit forward or move too much from side too side. Then from the cushion a strap was clipped across the top of my knees stopping my upper thighs from moving, finally daddy would run a strap across my forehead keeping my head pinned back against the headrest and sandwiched between the two big cushions. The whole time i whimpered and moaned until i was sat with only my arms able to move freely, my gaze was now forcefully stuck looking forward and because of the big cushions at either side of my head my peripheral vision was obscure. Placing angel back in my arms daddy shut the door and walked around the car before getting in the drivers side and starting the car, as the car started there was an exhilarating growl from the engine to which daddy would infantilise me more by reaching over and holding my right hand while saying “sshh sshh sshh baby girl its ok, the big car isn’t a monster! Daddy will protect you, i know you don’t understand but this is a Mans car! Now lets get to church, can’t keep god and the rest of the flock waiting!” He said with a smile that i could just barely see.

Taking back his hand i clung tightly too Angel as daddy put the car into gear and pulled out into the street, how humiliating! Ever single traffic light from the penthouse building too the church would turn red in us forcing us too stop. Each time we did my cheeks grew redder as people stared, pointed, laughed and teased me from other cars, passing on the sidewalk and more. Finally after a 45 minute car journey we would arrive at a huge Church with a massive ornate Jesus Christ on the cross suspended from the front above the doors. Pulling into the carpark in front, Daddy pulled into a space before turning off the engine and proceeding to release the straps over my head and knees then getting out he’d come round too my side where he would release my torso from the tight and uncomfortable harness and helped me out of the car. Finally we began our approach to the front doors, looking around the car park i was in shock as I spotted Super cars and Expensive cars filling the car park, Bugatti’s, Lamborghini’s, Lotus’s, Maserati’s and more, slowly i began to wonder what the fuck kinda church and delegation this was!!. I also thought about running but daddy had a tight grasp of my hand, however just as we reach the bottom on the steps into the church pressure on my bladder suddenly began building and before i could think i began whimper “i need to pee, please take this thing off me so i can go pee!” I begged daddy however he simply stopped us at the bottom of the stairs and said “pee yourself now Jade! Thats why your in pullups! Stop thinking like an adult, forget about toilets! Your arse will never touch a toilet seat again so act like the weak little baby you are and piss yourself now!” He said sternly as I stood with my knees turned into each other, cuddling angel and looking at him with bright red cheeks and watering eyes…. Hearing that I…. I let go, within seconds warm liquid flooded my diapered crotch and a wave of shame flooded over me. However daddy was leaving no time too stew in my shame for as soon as I finished he then dragged me up the stairs and into the church.

Entering into the reception, daddy smile and gave a friendly greeting too the church receptionist who completely ignored me as she said too daddy “everyones in the main atrium Ulysses, have a blessed day!” To which daddy smiled as he then led me through into a huge wide open space, the wall decorated with christianic symbols and doctrines, the pews had been move too the outsides of the room and in the middle was a huge circular kids play pen with 4 foot tall child barriers, inside there were about 40 men and women of varying physical age all dressed as adult babies of varying age, some were sitting so heavily restrained in their diapers and baby clothes that they could barely move while others sat and crawled around acting the age they were dressed as. Outside the play pen were tables all spread out with the “grown ups” sat drinking wine and talking. As we entered daddy would be approached by a beautiful brown skinned, Black Haired and browned eyed woman in a long black dress which looked very reminiscent if pastoral robes. “Ahhh Reverand Imelda, I hope we’re not too late!” Daddy said with a radiant smile as the Woman gave him a hug before stepping back and said “oh nonsense Ulysses! Your right on time! And pray tell, who is our newest follower of god?” Reverend Imelda said looking at me with a smile. Wiggling my hand which he still had a tight grip on daddy said, “go on baby, don’t be rude! Your pastor asked you a question” nervously i tried my best to soften my voice and said “my name is Jam….I mean Jade Carmichael Miss” which turned my cheeks a bright scarlet with humiliation. Pinching my cheek the Reverend would look at daddy as she said “well isn’t she just adorable! Well you can leave her in the play pen with all the other babies and grab a coffee and some muffins.”

Pulling my face away from the stranger pastors grip daddy would speak for me saying, “Oh absolutely, jade will be going in the play pen. But Reverend Imelda? You don’t have any of those deportment aids for difficult babies handy do you? Jade here hasn’t quite learned to listen to and behave for adults yet” looking at him my eyes widened and I opened my mouth to speak only too have daddy shush me. This was mortifying, being spoken about and too like a dumb child. However as daddy said “deportment aids” and mentioned my unruliness I instantly knew trouble was on its way. “Oh of course Ulysses! I’ll go grab them, get baby’s jacket off while im away so she’s ready” the Reverend cooed as she quickly scurried off past daddy. As daddy unlocked the padlock on my jacket zipper he removed angel from my arms and began to remove my humiliating pink jacket to expose my juvenile and hyper feminine state of dress. “Daddy! Please dont make me wear anything more humiliating! I don’t want those Aid thingys!” I moaned and groaned as daddy completely removed my jacket. At that the reverend appeared with 2 pink fluffy on the inside cuffs connected by a 30 cm link for my ankles and another two exactly the same for my wrists as well as a ring gag designed to look like big red lips.

Before I could protest at all the reverend shoved the ring gag into my mouth making it a gaping hole surrounded by pathetic Pvc Puffy faggot fake lips. Whimpering, i was manhandled into the wrist and ankle cuffs, the ankle cuffs going over my pink sparkly ugg boots i tried to beg for freedom or even just beg to be able to touch myself but i was ignored as the links which linked both ankle cuffs and both wrist cuffs were then connected by another link making it nearly impossible to walk, crawl or squirm to much. Stood unable to separate my legs further an 30cm’s i hung my head In absolute shame as i tried desperately to stop myself feeling turned on as my desperate to be touched penis was painfully smothered in its cage. Then from behind daddy scooped me up bridal style and once in his arms, helpless, dressed like a pussy and restrained I couldn’t help but shoot pathetic caged sissy stickies into my diaper and blush with embarrassment.

Kissing my cheek, Daddy said “now remember and play nice with the other babies! Daddy expects you to behave like a proper lady!” As i looked down at myself, pink lolita style shin length pathetic dress, white shiny leggings and my Sparkly pink ugg boots… god i looked pathetic. Carrying me into the play pen, daddy lay me on my back on a fluffy pink blanket covered in love hearts and surrounded by dollies, then taking angel with him i watched daddy go and take a see at a table and begun talking to some people who looked like acquaintances as the reverend close over the 5ft tall play pen fence. Looking around i was in shock at this place, what kinda church was this? Why were there so many of them who had adult babies? Looking around the pen there were some adult older than me being regressed, some younger, some were extremely femininely dressed, some were extremely masculinely dress, some were lightly bound, others were heavily restrained, some were actively acting like babies and others were desperate to be grown up. However no matter how hard i looked around i could not find another male being forced to be a female baby although i did spot a very attractive female who was clearly being forced to be a male baby. Watching her she was clearly like me and had not planned for this, the poor admittedly very attractive girl with a beautifully feminine face had had her hair shaven right down to a buzz cut, gave her a fake 5 o’clock shadow to look like she had facial hair and dressed her in a full length dark blue romper that looked like a Baseball player which had an open crotch to reveal her Dinosaur diapers, on her arms temporary tattoos of Baseball’s race-cars and dinosaurs, her arm hair has been died a darker colour to make it more obvious, the poor girl had been wheeled into the play pen in a blue Stroller which which restrained her ankles, wrists and torso. She looked so embarrassed, uncomfortable and down right jealous of all the baby girls in the play pen.

However my focus would suddenly snap back to my close surroundings as a man who looked to be in his thirties began crawling over too me. The man had the most childish looking dark blue sailor outfit on, his shorts were very obviously home too more than one puffy diaper and on his head was a matching little sailors hat. Slowly i began to panic and shuffle a little as the man crawled over hand gently brushed my long pink wig away from my face as he and began to speak, “hewwo Butifful, I weally wikes youw dwess. You vewy pwetty giwl~” at which I panicked more and with my gaping faggot lips ring gag in tried to tell him i was a man! “Mommy tolds me I cants touch my peepee for pweasuwe! I fink you vewy pwetty and i fink yous a giwl so yous needs to hewp me makes stickies in my diapees… I’m so fuckin horny man and that woman wont let me touch myself!!!! So i honestly don’t care whats in your diapers dude when you look this much like a girl! Shut up and let me do humpies on you and make out a little…. I gotta cum!!!” He said suddenly dropping the babish talk. Panic and pure disgust set in as i began violently trying to pull my hands further from my ankles and against the restraints to escape.

However at that the man would straddle my pelvis as he knelt with a knee either side of my crotch. Planting one hand around my throat, tears filled my eyes and my cheeks turned scarlett as he then lowered his crotch onto my hands which where restrained just above my crotch. “Rub my crotch with your pretty little hands princess as i hump!!” The man demanded as he began then to rub himself up and down against my hands, dress and diaper. What could i do!? I tried and tried to push him off but he simply tightened his grip on my throat and humped harder, the harder he smashed his crotch into me the sorer it felt as he crushed my caged penis and balls!. After a few moments he would begin groping my chest while shoving his tongue into the gag and making out with the big fake faggot lips of the gag. Gradually he began moaning and whispering for his mommy’s approval, all the while tears flooded down my face from pain and embarrassment as he look me dead in the eyes the moment he hit his diaper orgasm using me like his sex doll. With that he let go of my throat and stopped groping my chest, sitting upright he sat crushing my hands into my caged crotch and looked at me as he said “ohhhhhh god yes that it, stickies in diapees! Thats what we’re here for!!” With a fatigued giggle.

By this point i was sobbing so hard with pain and embarrassment i could barely see him however he would lean in and say, “boy or not, i think I’ll tell mommy I want you as my girlfriend! Then hopefully she’ll talk to your daddy and arrange more playdates like this one!” He teased before spitting into my wide open mouth and saying “welcome to the life of this fucking adult baby parents cult faggot! Thanks for the orgasm!! Mmmmmmmmmwahhh” he said kissing my forehead before crawling off into the crowd of other Adult baby’s. The embarrassment, demoralisation and pure disgust was overpowering and too such a point I would let out a scream of pure rage as tears flooded my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Finally daddy would appear, picking me up he would carry me bridal style back to his table of associates, “apologies folks, you know kids. I better see whats wrong with her” daddy said sitting me on his lap as he sat down and i was surrounded by these strangers who watched as tears rolled down my face.

Unbuckling the gag, daddy would remove the gaping red fake lips from my mouth finally allowing me too close my mouth. Looking at me daddy would stroke my cheek as he said “now then Jade, what were you making such a fuss about?”. To which i sniffled and replied, “that man in the sailor outfit was humping me and hurt my penis by smashing his crotch into mine, i tried to beg him to stop and push him off but he just kept going, groping my chest and sticking his tongue down my throat.” I explained hoping perhaps daddy would get over protective or even tell me he was upset i felt uncomfortable….. but no…. Instead daddy would proceed too humiliate, degrade, belittle and insult me as he proceeded to speak.

“Well first of all Jade. Your a girl, you dont have a penis! Second…. Thats great news!! Your first day out and your feminine and dainty little girl looks have attracted a boyfriend!!! You need to understand, as a pathetic baby girl, you should be happy and honoured that the baby boy found you so attractive that he humped you! In future though, if your going to fit in at this church you need to learn that little girls like you shouldn’t he saying ‘no’ too a boy. If a little boy wants too do something too or with you, as the superior little baby sex, you must do as they say. Remember what i said about cars ? This is the same thing, fill your mind with pretty colours, dresses, makeup, princesses, impressing boys etc!” Daddy said, I couldn’t believe what i’d just heard. What the hell kinda church was this? Who the hell were these archaic minded people! At a complete loss for words i looked at daddy in total shock.

Chuckling to himself daddy then wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his chest, with still my wrists and ankles restrained i could do nothing but cuddle daddy as he rocked me back and forth. Then after about 5 minutes he would resume his adult conversations with his associates as though I weren’t on his lap cuddled into him. Before i knew it…. I had drifted into a peaceful nap in his arms like some kind of magic had taken hold. What would the rest of this horrendously embarrassing day bring 🥵

[bwobgames]

Previous First

The man makes a phone call

"Vivi! Turn on your location. I am coming over!"

"Wh- dont say it like that! No, we didn't do anything, just chatted"

"I wouldn't say disappointed. I mean, it's too early"

"That is an old nickname, and it does not reflect the man I am today"

"Lovingly: shut up, I am going there with him, so be nice"

"Yes, yes, bye!"

"... nickname?"

"Due to my poor decisions in previous years of my life that I do not plan on repeating, I was known as 'Goatman' for being 'Hornier than someone with horns'

I am now regretting giving her this information"

Oliver tries very hard not to laugh

"Ok, I know where she is. Let's go"

They get to a corridor

"Well well well, if it isn't Ángel and a little buddy, what bussiness could you two have with a lady like me?"

"So his name is Ángel"

"Job bussiness sadly"

"Man, and here I thought we would have a new person for our dnd campaign"

"That could be arranged"

"Before we start being boring, have any of you seen a photobook anywhere?"

"I wanted to take pictures of the storm, but without a photobook, they will get all crumpled in my pockets! I have been obligated to use my phone's camera like a measly instagram influencer, Do you see what that does to a vibrant soul like me? The pain? The shame??"

"I'm sorry, I'm sure we'll find it eventually"

"A lost photobook, that's another mystery.

Logically, I know it's probably just a misplaced item, but

Something feels bad about it

Dangerous

What if it was stolen?

By someone with bad intentions?

What if something bad happened?

What if something bad will happen?

What if it's happening right now?

Is there someone behind me?"

"No. Of course there isn't. I must be on edge from what Ángel told me. Ugh, this is not the time for new phobias to be created"

"Time to get into business"

"Excuse me, We were actually here to ask you about Eugene Coli's speedrunning incident. Do you happen to know about it? Why would he do that?"

"Yeaaahhhh no, I only know what happened afterward, I mean, I wanted to know! But the guy didn't want to give any interviews!

And then the guy went to jail for like, a week, only to disappear from public eye until this party, so he's probably here somewhere. If i find out, I'll tell you!"

"But you are then one who found out first, can you tell us about that?"

"It was an anonymous link sent to the place i work at. It led to a speedrunning website with the mans run in a video"

"Did you watch the video?"

"Yeah! It was taken off the site days later, but i managed to download it! It was like a tour to the man's factory. You could see him talking to whoever was recording. Although the sound was replaced with some techno music for some reason.

The video even had accidents! Like, blood and burns! I have no clue how the moderators accepted it, I'm blaming money"

"It was listed as a satisfactory gameplay ironically enough."

"Did you know that the guy used to be a speedrunner? He used the same account to upload this one"

"I don't have any knowledge on psychology, but maybe this guy is just obsessed with speedrunning"

"Well, this does tell us some things. Thank you for your help"

"Also, we must warn you, we think this event might be some kind of disguise for crimes that could hurt us"

"That blows"

"You don't seem very worried"

"I've reported dangerous situations live. This isn't my first rodeo, mister"

"Yeah, but this is more serious. You might be killed here"

"Well, if it's my time, then it's my time"

"Don't say that. You're sending yourself to an early grave if you're this careless all the time"

"Me? Aren't you the guy who can't be two days without injecting cancer gas directly into their lungs?"

"That's not the same"

"How is it not the same? Is that and your crazy stunts of dubious legality not also sending you to an early grave?"

"I quit that! And I can quit smoking anytime! I just don't have the need to"

"Right, right, of course, I'm just being careless unlike you, mature and responsible man"

"Is, is this a fight? A friendly fight? Should I intervene, or is it more like a sibling fight where this is a normal thing that happens. Can we leave?"

"Listen, I get it, I was stupid and unsafe, and I probably should've died thrice by now, but I don't want that life anymore!"

"I want to be safe now. I dont want any of us to be in danger"

"I don't want us to die"

"... It's going to happen eventually, you know this"

"I don't want it"

"Yeah, alright, I'm getting involved"

"...It is normal to fear death. It's unknown and out of our control, but only with death, we have life, yeah?

So let's not waste it by bickering, and let's keep going"

"I've never been good at pep talks, but if we really are in danger, then there's no time for existentialism"

"... Right, keep your location on Vivi"

"Maybe I will. Maybe I won't"

"... I'm sorry for calling you careless"

"...Ugh, Fine, I'll keep it on, stop looking at me with that mopey wet cat face and leave already"

"Well, we didn't find motive, but we have some information.

Do you know anyone else who might have something on the speedrunning stunt?"

"... Someone comes to mind"

"Alright, we'll go now, bye Vivi!"

"Yeah, yeah, run along, bunny boy"

"Did she just ...assign me a fursona???"

"She does that"

[mod-kyoko]

May I please request Mikan and Chiaki with an

S/O that likes to always stay up all night every night playing video games

heya! thanks for the request! here you go

mikan and chiaki x s/o who stays up all night gaming

you staying up all night gaming has its pros and cons

the nurse part of mikan's brain is like noooo

babe you need sleep

so she's jumping up and down begging you to go to sleep

"s/o!! if you don't get good sleep you won't be able to do well on your video games you know!! your cognition will be affected and you won't be able to make good decisions!!"

she's about to pull out some medical terminology that no one understands

she does that when she's nervous, just starts speaking in nurse

she might try to yank the console from your hands but it's all with good intentions

honestly it's really cute when she's jumping around in front of you and begging you to put it down

but when she's not whining to you about your health, she actually enjoys staying up all night with you

sometimes her bad anxiety doesn't let her sleep, so it's a blessing to have someone to chill with until she feels better

on those bad nights she'll make you play games in bed so she can cuddle you

she really likes the background noise coming from your games, and sometimes she'll even watch you play

from time to time you'll hear her root for you very softly in her sleepy voice, and she'll bury her face further into your chest

as a fellow gamer, chiaki has definitely had many sleepless nights

the two of you put together, though, are absolute menaces

neither of you have any regard for your health at night, or for your neighbors for that matter

when the two of you play against each other, it tends tends get loud

well, chiaki isn't very loud herself, the loudness is more on your part

you've gotten several complaints

so when you get a little more rowdy, chiaki will take over and remind you to chill out

once or twice per week the two of you have dedicated game nights where you really go all out in terms of food and comfort

chiaki will prepare an array of snacks and drinks while you take every single pillow and blanket in the house and pile them all up on the floor

she'll turn on some ambient lighting and the two of you will get in the blanket pillow nest and play to your heart's content

sometimes at the end of the day she'll surprise you with a new video game she's been wanting

picture the millions of half empty monster energy drinks and red bulls and mountain dew and all that gamer juice

the two of you often fall asleep entangled with each other, only to wake up super sore from the absolute horrid posture

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

thanks for the request hun! chiaki has my heart (most of the dangan girls have my heart actually)

-mod kyoko

[alligatorpawnshop]

Rapture - Chapter 1

word count: 2617 rating: mature

In the aftermath of the Great Hawkins Earthquake and the death of Vecna, Robin and Steve find themselves a job at a new mascot-based children's entertainment restaurant. Nancy soon discovers all is not as it seems at the Party Palace.

---

This is a Ronance-centric story focused on creating a fun and believable alternate season 5 for the show. Definitely not a thinly-veiled FNaF AU (I promise it's more than that and has actual cool lore)!

read on ao3

next chapter

---

"And so, we played the game again, for one last time. It didn't matter that there were no maps, or dice, or no monsters. Pardieu saw the monsters. We did not. We saw nothing but the death of hope, and the loss of our friend. And so we played the game until the sun began to set, and all the monsters were dead."

- ♁ -

August 2, 1986.

"That was a shitty movie," Dustin said, rolling his eyes and setting his paper plate, slick with pizza grease, on the coffee table. 

"What'd you expect? It's called ‘Mazes & Monsters'. Dumb from the start," Lucas' laugh rolled over the credits music as he finished his own pizza. It had arrived, late, three-quarters through the movie.

Mike huffed, but the light in his eyes showed he was just as entertained as his friends. Bad movies with friends always made for a fun time. "It's just crazy that so many people think that about a game, even outside of Hawkins, enough to make a weird-ass movie about it."

"They just don't realize how cool it is," Dustin turned up his nose, smirking in a very uncool way.

Steve held his hands up. "Woah there, don't get ahead of yourself," He said, having only tolerated the horrid movie because the boys found it so entertaining. He had found it pretty boring. Thank God it was over. "Just because the movie sucked and people hate your game doesn't mean you're cool, buddy."

"Be nice," Robin, sat beside (partially on, her legs sideways over his) Steve in the beat-up armchair next to the couch, playfully slapped his shoulder. "Let the dorks be nerds. Haven't they gotten enough shit for it already?" She tilted her head slightly, grinning.

"Can't let them get big heads, Robin," Steve said with a roll of his eyes, pushing his friend off of him to go and collect the group's used plates. He was always the one keeping their apartment clean—if he didn't pick them up, nobody would.

Yes, their apartment. Over the summer, following the earthquake that practically destroyed a fourth of the town, Steve and Robin had gotten an apartment together. Steve hated being alone, as his parents were always out on trips, and Robin hated living with hers. They rather liked each other, so it was an easy decision. Robin wasn't going to college ‘till ‘87 (at least) now, anyway. The earthquake had wrecked her family's house so much that they couldn't afford to send her to college anymore, so she'd be working for quite a while to save up a little money before the loans got her.

Much else had happened in the few months between the Hawkins earthquake and where they were now, the party huddled up around Steve and Robin's TV watching shitty movies snatched from Family Video by its two responsible, trusted employees. For one, the Byers and Eleven had moved back to Hawkins. Tragedy seemed to follow them wherever they went—they might as well stay close to those who could share in the grief it brought.

Max had awoken from her coma in May, blind and unable to walk. In the two months since, she'd regained her vision—somewhat—and had learned to walk again with a cane. She had been spending a lot more time with the party than she did before after Starcourt, unable to do much else and not wanting to sit around at home. She sat on the couch now, sandwiched between El and Lucas, arguing over exactly how stupid the movie really was. She seemed to be doing better, but Steve still worried about her a lot. He worried about all of them a lot.

Steve worried a lot nowadays.

The worrier tossed the plates in the garbage can by the kitchen, just a few steps from the sitting area. He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, watching with a small smile as the group exploded into a lighthearted argument about the worst movie of all time. It was nice to see the kids laughing—Robin, too. None of them had laughed much anymore. It was hard, knowing all that they did.

Steve had watched as his kids retreated into themselves over the months following the raid on the Upside Down. He saw them become shells of themselves more than ever before. Most painfully, he watched Robin do the same. Himself, too. But it was over. It was over, for good this time. El had eviscerated Vecna's mind, and Nancy, Robin, and Steve had destroyed his body. The gates…they'd opened, the earthquake happened, but just as soon as that big, ugly gash in the earth had opened, it collapsed in on itself. It left no otherworldly trace, only massive earthly destruction. 

The Upside Down was gone, for good. No more Vecna, no more Mind Flayer, no more Demogorgons or Demodogs or whatever weirdo nerd names the kids gave every Upside Down creature that reared its ugly head at them. At least, Steve hoped.

They'd never been able to figure out if destroying Vecna had destroyed the Upside Down, but it had definitely destroyed all of the gates, barring the other world from theirs permanently. There was no mastermind to force gates open, and El knew now how the original one had opened (though she never told Steve himself) and said there was no possible way it could be opened from their side again. He believed her. He wanted to.

"You zoned there, Steve?" Robin leaned her arm over the back of the armchair, giving him a funny look as the rest of the group continued arguing over the credits scrolling endlessly down the screen. He knew that look well. Are you just chilling, or having an episode, bud? 

Steve ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Just taking in the scenery," He said. Not quite sure on that, Rob. "I didn't think such a shitty movie would have them in such a good mood."

"Movies, no matter the shittiness, are an art, my friend," Contrasting the pretentious tone she took on, Robin climbed out of the chair and over the back with very little grace, sliding over the arm and onto the ground at an awkward angle. She grabbed some stray, crumpled-up napkins and threw them out (Robin Buckley? Cleaning? Maybe Steve should be the one checking on her) before sitting on the counter next to Steve. Voice low, the brunette learned over to him and said, "We oughta tell ‘em."

"Oh, it's not that big a deal," Steve hand-waved her head away. "It's just–"

"What's not a big deal?" El's ears practically perked up like a cat's, and soon did the rest of the kids' as they all turned to look at the two adults in the room. Steve could swear El had super hearing in addition to all her other stuff with all the little strings of conversation she'd caught before. Or maybe it was just the urge to know, to never miss out on anything again. Never miss something that could be a sign of upset, or danger, or…

Or maybe he was projecting.

Robin shot Steve a bemused glance and nodded him along, earning a sigh from the poor man. He stood up, pushing himself away from the counter to clasp his hands together. "Alright, kids, here's the deal. Robin and I aren't working at Family Video anymore."

"What?" asked Dustin.

"Why?" asked Mike.

"So?" Max raised an eyebrow.

"We got a better job," Steve raised his hands, shaking his head dramatically. "At one ‘The Party Palace.'"

"Oh, come on dude, seriously?" groaned Dustin, chorused by the rest. "That's so lame."

The Party Palace was once, in another time, known as the Palace, a cool arcade the boys and Max used to hang out and play games at. However, following the earthquake, the former owner put the business up for sale, and it was bought and turned into a Showbiz Pizza-style establishment just in time to spoil the gang's summer. The kids hated that it was gone; Steve had said that maybe, if he got the money, he'd buy a Nintendo for the apartment for them to go crazy on instead. That had yet to happen, but it remained a possibility, since…

"They pay almost two whole bucks more there, you know. It's a business decision," Robin said, kicking her feet from the counter. She almost caught Steve's back, but he was just out of reach, on purpose.

"A business decision? It'll be a net loss with all the money we'll have to spend at the video store now!" Lucas said, exasperated.

"Yeah, what about us?" The kids huffed and puffed, their nearly endless supply of movies Robin and Steve snagged for them free of charge now at an end.

"Contrary to popular belief, our lives don't revolve around you, dipshits," Steve said, dodging another Robin kick by simply moving one inch forward. "I already pay for pizza at least once a week for the entire pack of you, you can buy a movie or two."

"Lame," El said quietly, followed by many sage nods from the others.

"You guys just suck," Steve said, glancing at the clock. 11:38 PM. "You're all probably cranky from lack of sleep. It's late, go home, get out of my house."

"One, it's not that late, two, it's not a house, it's an apartment, and three, you're zero fun," Mike said as the kids gathered their bags. "No wonder you're working at the loser arcade."

"Go home, loser," Robin threw an empty plastic cup at the boy, thonking him in the head. "It's s'posed to rain in a little, anyway," That earned quite the scoff from Mike, but the kids all went somewhat willingly toward the door. 

"When do you start?" asked Max as the group was corralled through the door and down the outside stairs of the short apartment building, Steve helping her down the stairs as she hadn't quite grasped those with her cane yet. It was obvious by her question and the look in her eyes that she was calculating the amount of movies they'd be able to obtain depending on the length of Steve and Robin's remaining employment at Family Video.

Sadly for the redhead, Steve said, "Monday, why? Want to come visit the dumb baby arcade, Max?"

"Forgive me for asking a question," Max rolled her light blue eyes and climbed onto the back of Lucas' bike. He'd been ferrying her everywhere since she gotten out of the hospital.

Steve watched, hands on his hips, until all the kids had vanished from sight. It had begun to sprinkle. He ran a hand through his hair—can't have that getting messed up, no sir. But man, those kids would be the death of him, he was sure. They already almost had been at least five times. At least.

He turned to climb the rickety wooden stairs leading back up to his apartment, not daring to risk the splinters of the handrail, despite it becoming increasingly slick as the rain began to fall in thicker, heavier drops. He opened the red-painted door to find Robin back on the armchair, ignoring the remaining mess of disposable cups and napkins strewn around the room. Oh, Buckley. He knew her cleanliness couldn't last.

Robin remained silent as Steve began picking up the refuse littering the floor and coffee table, playing with the many thick rings that adorned her hands. "Kids always leave a fuckin' mess, I swear," Steve muttered as he tossed the garbage into the can. "If they don't clean up after themselves next time, they're never allowed over again, and I mean it this time."

"Quit being such a housewife, Stevie," Robin hummed, looking up from her rings to shoot Steve a smirk.

"Oh, shut it, you're just as bad as them," Steve chastised her, getting a paper towel to make sure the coffee table didn't get too many cup rings on it. If only those damn kids knew how to use coasters. "Worse, maybe. If I didn't pick up after you, this place would be a dump."

Robin laughed, a sound Steve had always liked, even when they were nothing but coworkers at Scoops Ahoy. Jeez, that felt like such a long time ago. "I picked up those napkins earlier! Just for you."

It thundered outside. "My hero," Steve grimaced out a smile and fake-half-curtsied as aggressively as possible, causing Robin to grin. He went to wash his hands in the sink and was about to tell her to turn off the TV before the bulb went out when all of the lights suddenly flickered in the apartment.

Steve jumped nearly through the ceiling, going pale as the lights fizzed and flickered before stabilizing again. He steadied himself with a wet hand against the counter, sink still running beside him, and took a deep, shaky breath. Just storming. That's it, that's all.

"You okay, Steve?" Robin's voice, far shakier than it had been moments before. Steve looked up from the blank spot he'd been staring at on the counter as he tried to calm his racing heart to see his best friend's pale face peering over at him from the chair, eyes wide.

"I'm good, yeah," Steve replied, letting out a sigh. He hated being so jumpy—he'd never been before…well, everything. But now, it just seemed to keep getting worse.

He knew Robin was dealing with the same thing. The other week, a black snake (Steve was unsure of the type, but Robin said it wasn't poisonous) got into the apartment and scared the shit out of both of them, who had mistaken it for a tentacle. Every time a lightbulb went out, every time their neighbor's loud-ass grandfather clock chimed, every anything, their hearts jumped into their chests. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Robin nodded. She waited a minute before saying, in a slightly less shaky tone, "Got any beers left?"

"No, but I have some vodka, Coke, and some Twizzlers," Steve moved to open one of their cabinets. Drinking after a little Upside Down-memory-thing had quickly become tradition in the Buckley-Harrington household after a night spent celebrating their brave removal of the snake from the premises. It probably wasn't healthy, but what were they supposed to do?

"Oh, gimme that, then, Harrington," said Robin, who got up to change tape in the player. They were always quick to move on from the topic of the Upside Down—unless they were drugged up by Russians, it was hard to get either of them to talk about their feelings. "What movie?"

"Uh, I dunno," Steve shrugged, pouring them each a nice concoction and tossing the bag of Twizzlers onto the couch. "What do you wanna watch?"

Robin sifted through the stack of rented movies the kids had left on the TV stand and picked one at random. "Oh, hey, they got Back to the Future."

"Bet that was Henderson," Steve brought the drinks to the coffee table and sitting on the couch. Robin shoved the tape in and sat down next to him, putting a Twizzler in her drink to use as a straw. Eventually, it grew too slow for her impatient brain, and she ended up chugging the whole thing.

Steve gave Robin's arm a gentle slap. "Woah, Buckley, slow your roll," He said, concern drawing his eyebrows together just a bit.

"Chill, we don't have work ‘till Monday. It's Saturday," Robin said, grimacing after swallowing the last of her drink.

"You handle drinks as well as I handle not housewifing," Steve replied, taking a sip of his own. Eh. Not his favorite. "I'd love for you to be alive in the morning." "Gee, thanks."

[tscritical]

Hello there 👋🏻

I left the sanders sides fandom and blocked every tag just short of four years ago, just after the release of DWIT. Now, there is no obligation for you to answer this ask, but if you feel up to it, think you could fill me in on everything that’s gone down? Has there really not been another ‘proper’ episode since then? Like I said, you aren’t obligated to answer. It just, seems like there’s been a lot. Thought it would be easier to ask someone. Thanks for your time.

im putting this under a read more cos. shit gets extensive

ok so here’s the shitty rundown:

if you remember, at the end of dwit virgil confessed to having been a “dark side” in the past, and thomas didn’t seem to take it well

the next episode was a sanders asides, which is basically,, shorter videos that were promised to give us more content (lie)

in this asides, thomas found out his friend was like. an ex homophobe. and somehow that’s a parallel to virgil having been a dark side??? ok

basically thomas realized he needed to accept virgil for everything he was, including his past. but they couldn’t come up with a better allegory. so it’s apparently canon that thomas thinks of dark sides as being the same as. ex bigots. idfk

about a year later, the svs redux came out. oh boy

thomas got back from the wedding, sang a song with patton and roman about how it sucked because lee and mary lee didn’t drop everything to spend time with him instead of. celebrating their fucking wedding. thomas basically said “wahhh why won’t lee and mary lee talk to me instead of focusing on themselves at their own wedding 😡😡😡😡” which like. whatever i guess

they debated on whether it would’ve been better to discuss the wedding vs callback decision with lee and mary lee beforehand and patton was like “but they may have been sad if you picked the wedding, and they would’ve been sad if you picked the callback” blah blah

logan came in as a pixelated pop up (called “logans lowdowns”) and was like “im gonna give helpful information via text box” and no one bothered to read them cos they’re jerks (I DID. MY REACT VIDEO PROVES IT. real logan stans read the text and then had to rewind the video to hear the other dorks jshdjdjfjf)

ultimately patton ended up suggesting that thomas should sacrifice himself for others. and also he should only take care of himself in emergency situations. and he turned into a frog

oh yeah and then deceit popped in and was like “patton you’re being a little extra” and explained that if you only take care of yourself in emergency situations, you won’t be nearly as equipped to handle it as you would be if you. you know. utilized self care a more reasonable amount

then roman was like “shut up deceit” and deceit was like “my name is janus” and roman was like “shut up janus, also that name is stupid” and janus was like “well you’re the evil twin so suck on that”

im doing a bad job of explaining the tension but holy SHIT this video…

anyway, after the redux was flirting with social anxiety, which is another asides. it’s an animatic because covid prevented thomas from actually going to the mall but anyway

thomas went to the mall having one mini moral crisis after another, until he saw a cute guy he wanted to talk to. but virgil was like “hell no” and roman was like “hell yes” and they basically spent the entire video arguing over whether it was a good idea to approach a stranger (regardless of how cute said stranger was)

ultimately, thomas and the stranger, nico flores, managed to get to talking, and they really seemed to hit it off! thus followed a really cute end credit scene back at the apartment, i really recommend watching that part on its own i fucking love it

the next episode was the third and final (so far) asides, in which thomas has sought help from logan in basically getting his life together, starting with cleaning his apartment

throughout the endeavor, thomas tries to follow the plan logan helped him get together in order to get it done, but remus has plans of his own. with every step thomas takes, remus puts a bear trap in his path. you know. metaphorically

oh yeah and the subplot is that thomas texted nico something stupid and he hasn’t responded and thomas is like “pls god why” probably because he’s worried he scared nico off (i can’t remember what the text said but i think it was cringe? idk hsjdhdj)

logan is trying to help thomas work through his intrusive thoughts… hence the title of the video jsjdjfkfk but remus is pretty relentless. finally, logan approaches remus and is like “what the fuck dude” and remus is like. well y’all know what remus is like akdjkdjfkf

remus starts ignoring logan and logans eyes glow orange and he’s like “STOP IGNORING ME” and remus is turned on or something and he’s like “but who do you really wanna scream that at?”

nico calls thomas and is like “wanna look at art?” and thomas is like “hell yeah” and leaves in the middle of cleaning which makes logan sad and ill kill thomas for making logan sad /j (there was also ominous vague foreshadowing from janus eating an apple in a tree or some shit idk)

then there’s the five year anniversary shit. which is like. pointless skhddkjf it’s basically thomas asking the sides shit about the series and it’s mostly fluff until you look into it. pretty much on the surface level kahdjdfjfk

i don’t remember it well i only watched it a couple times so

im not gonna talk about can plushies improve our health it makes me too mad

then the last video in the sanders sides playlist is the over the garden wall cover which i recommend simply because thomas/janus’s voice is so good and the vibes are so soft i cant

and there ya have it. you’re caught up now. now i have a question for you; what the FUCK do you mean, “four years ago, just after the release of dwit”. that was two years ago you are lying to me /j

[moviemunchies]

Right! Back to the dystopian action.

[Side note: I watched this on YouTube, free with ads. I still don’t recommend it, because it puts ads at really weird places (like it does with all videos). None of them were as frustrating as the time I watched Solomon Kane, but still a bit annoying.]

Katniss has been recruited by the rebels of District 13 after escaping the Hunger Games and her home District being bombed out by the Capitol. But she’s not just called to fight–President Coin of District 13 and Plutarch Heavensbee want to make Katniss into the Mockingjay, the face of the rebellion, to help inspire their p people and rally the citizens of the Districts into open rebellion against the Capitol. Of course, Katniss has complex feelings about that, and she also wants to rescue Peeta, who was left behind in the Capitol–and it turns out! Has been brainwashed into becoming President Snow’s mouthpiece! Ohes noes!

In the wake of the Harry Potter film series, every young adult film series and massive blockbuster type made the questionable decision to split their final installments into two parts. The result is often a third film that’s almost entirely set up for a fourth film that’s almost entirely action sequences. I was worried about that going into this movie, but I didn’t find it too egregious. It is a problem, on reflection–there are a lot of sequences of hunkering in the bunkers that could have been shortened or cut. But it didn’t feel like the cliffhanger for this movie was any more abrupt than the ending of Catching Fire.

I thought that an interesting aspect of this movie is how much it focuses on media and propaganda. The rebellion doesn’t want Katniss to just go out and lead troops in battle and shoot all the bad guys (though I don’t know if that’d mind that), they want her to film public service announcements about how much the Capitol sucks. Which of course, doesn’t work, because Katniss isn’t an actress. Haymitch points out that the best way to capture her being inspirational is to let her just do her thing. But this also means putting Katniss in rough situations and pointing cameras at her to see what she does.

I don’t know, I feel like a lot of movies (or other , especially movies involving rebellions, don’t talk about the aspect of public relations. I liked that take on the subject.

Still, that also means that there aren’t that many action sequences. Which is fine, but apparently that’s a sticking point for many–that they wanted to see more of the war itself. It didn’t bother me much because I think many people don’t like thinking about how little of a war is actually, y’know, combat compared to other considerations, but I’ll admit it is also a little annoying that they’re probably going to pack the next movie with more action sequences and so this one will seem quite boring by comparison. I’ll let you know if that holds out to be true when I get to the second part.

Performances are great across the board, but I can’t help but miss President Snow. He’s not in this movie that much; which is a shame because he’s loads of fun to watch. He’s a bastard, but he’s an entertaining bastard.

That being said, while  I think that Jennifer Lawrence’s performances are good, it isn’t always fun to watch, because you have scenes of Katniss trying to act, and Katniss isn’t good at acting. So yeah, in-universe, it works, but it’s still a bit cringey to watch. 

It’s fine, but I don’t know if I will feel the same after the second part. And this is a thing that I hate about this whole ‘Part 1-Part 2’ thing Hollywood used to do. I watch a movie, and then I have an opinion, but then it turns out that it’s an incomplete opinion because the story’s not meant to be taken on its own.

[Then why did you write a movie review for just half a movie? Well, because I got over halfway through writing this before I came to this realization.]

So I didn’t mind this film being a bit slower, but it IS a bit slower, and I can’t help but think that I can’t make a final judgment. Right now, it’s fine, and the movie’s enjoyable enough, especially if you’ve been keeping track of the story thus far. But we’ll have to see if it all comes together well in the final installment.

Especially because the actor playing the major character Plutarch Heavensbee, Philip Seymoue Hoffman, died after filming his parts for this movie?