#just watch the first hour or so of episode 21 and you’ll understand what I mean

[incorrect-upon-a-witchlight]

Frost teaching Torbek to drive and taking Gricko along for the ride

Frost: That's a pothole. To the left!

Torbek: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Gricko, sticking his face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Torbek: Torbek doesn’t think that's how the song goes.

Frost, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Torbek: Country Roads.

Gricko: To the place.

Torbek and Gricko in unison: I Belong!

Frost, crying harder: What the fuck?

[chibi-sunrise]

Luminaria - A Different Recommendation for you!

I’ll fight for my justice… And kill yours if I must.

Long ago, this land was home to beasts the size of mountains that have now become petrified. Mana overflowed from their remains, drawing people who sought its power, and civilizations sprang up.

People came to revere these mana-producing creatures, which they named ‘Primordial Beasts.’ They built their lives around them. Thus began the worship of the Primordial Beasts.

Time flowed ever onward, to the present day…

War erupts between the Jerle Federation, an alliance of countries who worship the Primordial Beasts, and the Gildllan Empire, which has enjoyed explosive development thanks to advanced technology. The fires of war burn ever brighter.

Federation knights-in-training, Imperial soldiers, and adventurers who allegiance to neither side…

21 very different people weave the story of their bonds, and the paths they forge through a turbulent age. Will their varying outlooks lead them to hidden truths about the world? You’ll have to play to find out…

“So I’ve looked at all the characters in Luminaria, but none of them interested me. What order should I watch the episodes now? And do I really have to watch all the character episodes to understand the story?”

If you’ve got a lot of free time, and you’re not sure where to start, then you catch watch Luminaria’s story in the order the episodes were originally released. Feel free to watch the anime any time you want too.

Here’s the post on where to watch the story, and here’s the post on where to watch the anime.

(If you want an answer to the second question, then I’ll give you one after the numbered list!)

***The first set of seven episodes were released at the same time on launch. Leo’s had to be played first to unlock the rest of the episodes. The Devs then recommended you play August’s episode next since Leo and August’s 1st episodes introduced the whole Federation and Empire cast between them. So after Leo and August, you can actually watch #3-7 in any order you want.

Order of Release

Leo ep. 1 Budding Heroes

August ep. 1 Checkmate

Alexandra ep. 1 The Sun

Yelsy ep. 1 Flowers for You

Celia ep. 1 The Selection Exam

Lisette ep. 1 Remedial Training

Falk ep. 1 The Lone Falcon

Edouard ep. 1 Departure

Maxime ep. 1 Dreams Beyond My Reach

Ana-Maria ep. 1 Leaving the Birdcage

Hugo ep. 1 The Traitor

Raoul ep. 1 The Self-Described Archaeologist

Michelle ep. 1 Triage

Gaspard ep. 1 The Stooge

Laplace ep. 1 The Witch’s Whim

Vanessa ep. 1 What Needs to be Done

Charles ep. 1 One to Reach the Primordial

Amelie ep. 1 The (Hard) Luck Girl

Lydie ep. 1 The Cataclysmic Genius

Bastien ep. 1 The Strong

Lucien ep. 1 The Secret Blade of Wisdom

Crossroads ep. 1 The Habakiri Incident

Ana-Maria ep. 2 The Little Lady’s Big Adventure

Lisette ep. 2 Entangled Pasts

August ep. 2 Seeds of Despair

Yelsy ep. 2 Sharing a Table with You

Alexandra ep. 2 Pardon for Justice

Celia ep. 2 Mercy and Resolve

Falk ep. 2 The Ghost-Devouring Falcon

Raoul ep. 2 It’s Hard Being the Oldest

Michelle ep. 2 Compromise

Leo ep. 2 The Noble One

Edouard ep. 2 Requirements of a Hero

Maxime ep. 2 Is It Really Love?

Hugo ep. 2 Battlefield of Farewells

ep. final Blossoming Heroes

“Do I really have to watch all the episodes to understand the story?”

Since Tales of Luminaria is an ensemble drama, you pretty much always have to see everything from every character’s perspective if you intend to have the whole, complete story with no loose ends.

THAT BEING SAID!

36 character episodes, each one at least an hour long, is a massive amount of time to invest in! If you just want to understand the “main” part of the story, namely, the conflicting justice between Leo and Hugo, the Federation and the Empire, then I recommend the order from this tweet.

*Some context for this tweet! When EoS was announced for Tales of Luminaria, this user did a write-up for any new players who were interested in playing the game before the servers went down. They recommended the minimum amount of episodes to play before completing the Final Episode, to give new players a chance to at least experience the “main” part of the story before it shut down.

And I think this is still a great recommended order even now for anyone who’s interested in watching the story, but feels intimidated by the time investment.

***The user recommends watching the anime after watching these episodes

Here’s the post on Youtube channels, so you know what to expect from them.

So without further ado, “Luminaria Episode Order for Busy People!”

First - Leo ep. 1 Budding Heroes

EN audio EN text

TimeFactor

Iira Ellaos

Divine_Judgment

JP audio EN text

Scarfy

JP audio JP text

????

勝手に近未来チャンネル

マッチョイ

JP audio JP text CN CC

舜舜

Second - Lisette ep. 1 Remedial Training

EN audio EN text

TimeFactor

Iira Ellaos

Divine_Judgment

JP audio JP text

????

勝手に近未来チャンネル

マッチョイ

舜舜

Third - Crossroads ep. 1 The Habakiri Incident

EN audio EN text

TimeFactor

Iira Ellaos

JP audio JP text

????

勝手に近未来チャンネル

マッチョイ

舜舜

Fourth - Leo ep. 2 The Noble One

EN audio EN text

TimeFactor

Iira Ellaos

Divine_Judgment

JP audio JP text

????

勝手に近未来チャンネル

マッチョイ

Fifth (and last) - ep. final Blossoming Heroes

EN audio and EN text

TimeFactor

Iira Ellaos

JP audio and JP text

????

勝手に近未来チャンネル

マッチョイ

Here’s the post on where you can watch the anime!

The tweet also recommends more episodes and the order to watch them in if you’re curious about some of the plot points. But I think you’ll naturally gravitate towards different character episodes if the story’s managed to catch your interest, so it’s up to you!

If you have any questions, then feel free to ask a Luminaria fan what episodes they’d recommend!

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 51 - Amazing technology - 'Human with modified skull'

K: Hi this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's  episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome.

T: And thank you too.

J: Ta-da! We are wearing it.

K: Hahaha

J: We are wearing it. This is naturally cool, isn't it?

T: Yes.

K: Um, if we don't say anything the viewers won't understand.

J: Uh, Tasai, could you explain?

T: Um, so this is another Tokyo Sports T-shirt collaboration. We are putting one out.

K: It was a hoodie before, right? 

T: Yes, that was a collaboration with Don Quijote. This time we've collaborated with the store Hardcore Chocolate in Higashinakano, to create this really cool tshirt.

K: I'm wearing it too.

T: Oh, thank you. Its a Core-choco × Tokyo Sports collaboration.

*clapping/cheering*

K: The back is nice too.

J: Yeah, I mean, I can't see it myself though. What is written on it?

T: Its past Tokyo Sports headlines. The black is pro-wrestling headlines, like 'Inoki's grand KO defeat'.....'Hansen...near murder' etc.

J: Wow.

T: These shocking headlines are...

J: All over?

T: Yes, all over it. And as for the front, Joe, could you turn around?

J: Yes.

T: Those are copies of Tokyo Sports tied up with string, just on the verge of being thrown away, giving a kind if melancholic feel.

J: Ahh, this is cool too.

T: Its very Tokyo Sportsy.

K: Are the white and back versions different?

T:  Yes, they are different.

J: Ah! They are different?

K: The white one has 'Matsui' written on it.

T: Matsui's wedding.

J: Oh yeah.

K: This black one says, 'Brody'.

J: Pro-wrestling?

T: Yes, its mainly pro-wrestling. And the white is showbiz...

J: Sports and showbiz? Oh, so it is.

T: 'Elvis lives' and so on.

J: This is great...ah..'The Monster with 21 faces'!

K: Its nostalgic, isn't it?

T: Yeah, this type of thing.

J: Ahh..of course...Ah, shocking photos.

K: 'Discovery of Kappa'....'Madonna had hemorrhoids' haha.

K, J, T: Hahaha.

J: Does it really matter? haha.

T: Haha, that was about one time a long time ago when Madonna came to do a show in Japan. She requested a bidet toilet, so we reckoned maybe its because she had hemorrhoids.

J: Just from that? You put this headline with it?

K: Your info is thin!

T: Haha.

J: Right?! Zero fact checking! Guess after guess!

K: Incredible. So, there are two of these.

J: What should we do with them?

T: Well, I thought we could make them presents for the people who always watch The Freedom of Expression.

J: Ohhh! *claps*

K: There is black and white.

J: One of each?

T: Yes.

K: The size is S.

J: S?

K: Joe is wearing M, I'm wearing XL. Anyone who wants a big one..

J: Please but it.

K: Yes. For people who want S...um, what should we do...you could leave a comment on my Twitter..

T: With your thoughts on this show.

J: Of course.

T: Yes.

K: Yeah.

T: And we could choose one from those.

J: Leave a decent comment..

T: Like which was your favourite episode or something?

J: Ahh, you know how to do this!

K: Joe, its just that you're always drunk.

J: I'm always drunk, haha. When I see Tasai, Im learning how to conduct myself.

T: Excuse me brother, thank you very much.

J: Your stocks will rise with this tshirt. Yours and Tokyo Sports' stocks.

T: I hope so.

K: Everyone will be cool wearing this.

J: They really will be cool.

K: Please buy it, really.

J: If someone wanted to buy this, where do they get it from?

T: Probably online. You can buy it on Corechoco's site.

J: I see.

K: Ok, so today's story is a Tokyo Sports selection.

J: Its a Tokyo Sports day today.

T: A Tokyo Sports produced story...

The headline is 'Will we rise up in 2021? - Amazing technology, human with modified skull'. As for the content of the story, it asks what new technology will appear in the year 2021, and its by our science writer Hisano, who wrote about some of the things he'd heard.

J: Oh, so he's done it properly?

T: Yes. So firstly, well, we hear a lot about this A.I. deepfake problem at the moment, don't we? Like changing faces without permission, and making these made-up sexy images which cause harm, for example. *1

J: Yeah, its the basis of fake news, right?

T: We are hearing about that more and more, thats the first thing. Secondly, there is apparently this idea called, 'Trans-human' where people power up their own body with technology, and Hisano wondered whether Trans-human technology with develop a lot during this year. Specifically, well, there is actually someone doing this in Spain, Manel de Aguas. He peeled back the skin on his head and attatched self-mafe fin shaped devices to his skull. The fins contain a bone conducting oscillator and temperature sensor, so he can tell if the weather is hot or cold through vibrations in his head. So, this is a way to catch very small atmospheric changes that regular people wouldn't normally be able to sense.

J: I see.

T: And there are pictures of him, so please take a look.

J: If you go to the Tokyo Sports website?

T: Yes, you can see it there. Furthermore, well, there are quite a lot of other examples, like a 'trans-human' using prosthetics, or having an IC chip implanted into your hand to use for the train etc. On top of that, France has plans to make a conscription army like this. The name  of the project is 'The Bionic Soldier Project', which is a really cool name. They would be like super strong soldiers who never got tired and didn't need sleep, and who could heighten their sight and hearing with medication, and would have communication equipment embedded in their brains to connect directly to wireless  netwoks. Bionic soldiers..scary, right?

J: Yeah. Its like the end to the era of traditional fighting.

T: Research has been going on even longer America, in their Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, where paralyzed patients have had chips embedded in their brain, and have successfully been able to control drones with their thoughts. They've already done that. Even bedridden people can control drones. Technology his also being developed to go without sleep for 48 hours by running electric currents through the brain. This is not the talk of dreams, we are closing in on these things. There is also a plan by Nasa, a mission to redirect asteroids, where a robot spaceship would grab an asteroid, carry it over to the moon's orbit, and dig up minerals from it. Its like the world of Gundam. What do you think of this for 2021?

J: So, like these might become a reality within this year?

T: Yeah, some of them, as far as the technology goes.

K: It'll be like Robocop.

T: Yeah.

K: Its incredible, its like the world of 'Terminator'.

J: Yeah, it is.

T: In reality, controling a drone with the brain is aleady being used in China with toys.

J: With the brain..?

T: Like, controlling it with your thoughts by just imagining it rising. And in Japan..

J: You have to operate it.

T: In Japan they can be controlled with radio waves *2, but in China they can already move drones around using brain waves. Like, its technologically possible to attatch a bomb to a drone and make it fly somewhere and explode...its scary.

J: If technology advances this far, people won't need to study for exams and stuff, will they?

T: Thats right.

J: With a chip embedded...we talk about preventing cheating these days, but you would have all that data within you, or you could just go outside and remotely update.

K: Or you could send questions with just your eyes and get answers back.

J: Yeah, its like already at the point where you don't have to bother with tests or exams.

K: And it would mean no more back entrance admissions.

T, J: Yeah.

J: Yeah, like whoever has the money.

T: They might starts scanning people with metal detectors when they do exams to see if they have chips or something in them. Like, have you got a chip in your brain?? If it beeps, you'll know they have a chip.

K: They could put the people who have chips inside like anti-vibration shields..

J: Yeah, like to stop the transmissions.

T: Oh, yeah.

J: We're already getting to this point in time.

T: Do we even need to study anymore?

J: Yeah, like the era of people using their brains is ending.

K: We don't even really need universities and stuff anymore

J: We don't! Cause you have have access to all the information in the world in your head, whenever you like.

K:Yeah, if you have it ???*3

J: Well, there's also the issue of whether this kind of thing will be permitted by law. Like how far..

K: Yeah, it wouldn't be allowed immediately.

J: Yeah, like how far can human ability be harnessed in this way. I mean, there is the problem of genetic engineering too, but..thats where we are at now.

K: Well, there might already be people like this out there.

J: Well, yeah, the technology is there already.

K: You don't know whats going on in other peoples' heads.

J: Well, yeah. Eh, what if Kami is one of them?

K: No, I don't think he is. Absolutely not.

J: Haha

Kami: No, gods are different. But the bionic soldiers who don't need sleep, never get tired, and use medication to improve their sight and hearing...they've been around in Nishinari for a long time.

K: In Nishinari?

J: Haha

Kami: People who look like zombies, there have always been tonnes of them. There is also an article about a 'robot girlfriend to go for a walk with you', which Gifu University made, I'm interested  in that. I'd like to support Gifu University with that.

T: I see. Yeah, its a robot girlfriend who holds your hand and goes for walks with you, made by Gifu University.

K: What did Kami say earlier about women, doesn't he have woman trouble?

J: Oh yeah. Kami, don't women like you, being a god?

Kani: Thats a whole different story. Um, this is just a hand holding robot, but I'd like them to try harder with more in-depth research on this.

K: In-depth research? Haha

J: I don't know what he means by that. Kami!!

K: I mean, if they've been able to make the robot to this level, Im pretty sure they can also manage 'in-depth' research. haha.

J: They just won't announce it as university research, they stopped at holding hands.

Kami: Ah, I see. I wanna support deepfake technology too.

K: Ha, you wanna support it.

T: Well, this type of technology was originally invented for mens' pleasure. New technology can even start from such places. Like videos...

K: Ah, yeh, popular people from videos turned up a lot in this erotic stuff (*Sorry if I got this wrong*)

J: Ahh, yes, necessity is the mother of invention. Technology increases due human desires.

T: Yeah, thats it.

J: Well, this could be used for evil ways, or for more interesting ways. There are various ways to use it. Kaoru is there any kind of technology that you ever wanted to invent?

K: That I wanted to invent?

J: Like a specific type of robot or anything like that?

T: If you had a chip in your brain though, and you didn't have to study, what would you do?

K: But if all this stuff becomes normal, I think on the contrary, will might start to want to do things in more detail again. When you can get anything effortlessly, you will start to want to do those things that don't come effortlessly.

J: Ahh, hand made things will become nostalgic.

K: Our sense of value would change. People will want to go out and do things...if you can get everything you need without ever going out. And with food, it will be all there, ready as soon as you open the cupboard, right?

J: Yeah

K: Like, wouldn't you feel like going out instead?

T: Yeah, you'd want to go out and see live performances and stuff too.

K: People were told not to go out on New Years eve, but so many people still went out. haha

T: Oh, yeah.

J: Yep, human mentality just goes like that.

K: People will still go out. So, I think thats the direction it will head.

T: A.I. is pretty popular in human competions at the moment, for example with Shōgi, but in the end, what people really want to see is a human competing with another human.

J: Yes, I think thats true.

K: Yeah, its those natural variations

J: Thats it, we need those. Its that type of thing  that is impossible to calculate.

K: A computer couldn't come up with this type of thing. (*holds up Tokyo Sports tshirt*)

T: Haha

K: Its a product of wild fantasies.

T: Hahaha

J: Yeah, that would be impossible.

T: If we let A.I. do this kind of thing we would have lost. Tokyo Sports would be finished.

K: A.I. couldn't make this.

J: Its incredible.

K: 'Human gives birth to frog'.

J: Haha, A.I. could never write this.

K: It probably couldn't, right?

J: Only some bombed out person could do it otherwise.

K: It was worth making, naturally Tokyo Sports.

T: Oh, thank you.

K: So, everyone, please buy one of these tshirts. We have a black and white in size S here, so please send a tweet. Ok, we'll finish here this week. Please subscribe, thank you very much.

*1, 2 Not sure its exactly right.

*3 Couldn't figure out

Back to top page

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Art of Conveyance and Round-Trippery' Liveblog!

Sorry this is a few days late!! I moved across the country this weekend, we drove like 13 hours within 2 days and we did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm exhausted, but the boxes are slowly emptying and I've been wanting to watch this episode so gd bad, so LESGO

Over halfway through the season!!!! That's absolutely surreal

1:11 oooh they're getting their royal fitting

1:22 LMAOO WTF 😂😂 Princess Diaries vibes

1:42 ✨CONFIDENCE✨

1:52 Alfonse is a perfect name for that guy HAHA

2:05 Nathaniel, my guy, you've made some points

2:11 "do you feel your power?" POWER RANGERS, GO

2:24 no no hesitation just prolly thinkin bout how he was caught cheatin

2:39 "can you not allow yourselves luxury?" okay fr I feel that I get Nice Things Guilt(tm) too easily

2:52 dayummmm let's talk about Sticky being a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, mans is brave as fuck under extreme pressure and loyal to the point of putting himself on the line

3:15 bro Sticky getting some recognition. Love to see it, he deserves it

3:19 "is that a coincidence? Or written in the stars?" IS DR. CURTAIN CATCHING ON THAT THEY KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE OR LIKEEEE

3:49 WHAT WORD AROUND CAMPUS 😭😭😭 MY BOYS ARE NOT A MISTAKE HOW DARE YOU

4:09 why doess the action of Dr. Curtain putting the sash on them seem so nefarious

4:36 I dont really understand the whole pastel yellow, blue, and pink palette of the school but the boys both look pretty okay in their vest-sash getup

4:42 THE OPENINGGGGG. This shit slaps.

5:41 Kate and Constance look so fucking cute in that shot, dont ask me why but hnnggggg

5:54 sash rope 😂😭 kate, honey, that's a reach

6:09 it might feel buttery, but, my guy, it also looks buttery. It's literally the color of butter. Get yourself some crisco

6:24 I find it kinda interesting that they made up new riddles for the show, I'm almost positive that that one wasn't in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong though

7:03 "I'm not gonna apologize for knowing things" the sass. the ✨confidence✨. living for it

7:03 If they build on that it sets Sticky up really nicely for the arc in the second book where he starts to show off a little

7:15 tiny Constance who is constantly dressed in pink with cute little braids is the perfect medium for the most morbid comments 😂😂

7:55 Martina's hot in her uniform. Can't prove me wrong.

8:15 why does that make me sad 🥺 eat with your friendssss. iirc they only talked about eating at the Messenger table in the books

8:26 dipshits forgot their lunches. Seems Constance is holding the communal braincell atm

8:50 anyone have Guiness on speed dial? Reynie and Sticky have a submission for them

9:25 oh hello this was alluded to in the preview!!! Morse code is compromised, rip

10:05 so are Jackson and Jillson stuck with night guard duty all the time?? They've been outside at night a lot

10:18 ahhhhhh the little blinkie light, stopppp

10:25 MILLIGANNNNN!!!

10:25 so is this the point where he starts staying on the island with them????

10:39 so are they just like "fuck it we'll do it right before sundown" ???? Like Jackson and Jillson are still gonna be on the lookout, they aren't gonna chill just because it's not fully dark

10:50 did the kids.....just not tell them that Mr. Bloom was on the island 😂 nice oversight guys

11:05 MADGE TIME MADGE TIME

11:05 remind me to tell you guys a story about Madge, I may or may not have done something irl a few years ago that would make y'all proud 😂😂😂

11:16 idk why but it makes me so happy that they kept Madge as a peregrine falcon

11:37 Rhonda, my love, you have my heart in your hands

11:46 roll credits

12:05 THE HEAD SHAKE HAHAHAH

12:06 Awww man, I was so excited for Milligan to be on the island .-. He must have been scoping out the inlet

12:07 "they're quite regal" A. I read the subtitles as "legal" the first time and that's somehow really in character for him, and B. IS MILLIGAN GOING TO NAME HER???!? HER MAJESTY???? PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH

12:15 his grimace KILLS ME

12:17 the hard cut from Nicholas in a brown setting and brown suit to Nathaniel in a blue setting and blue suit was lowkey striking

12:36 are they looking up Morse code 😳 can you imagine if they wrote down the message and are now decoding it

12:41 omfg all that for a HAT 🙃 I feel stupid

12:51 two things: 1. Those walls are atrocious, and 2. Yeah, talk about Morse code in a louder voice Connie girl, you're just in a public hallway

13:03 I'm sorry but those orange pillar things are not the vibe

13:03 the golden gate bridge called, they want their arches back

13:10 please let Kate climb the tower before the end of season 1. please.

13:22 y'all are about to be flying something else 😎

13:33 cleansing breaths

13:47 OH HELLO MESSENGER DUTY ALREADY??

14:06 what the heck is that teal pole for 😭😭

14:12 blindfold timeeee

I'm so sorry but I'm exhausted, it's 11:30 pm on Sunday night right now, I'll finish this episode tomorrow morning after I get some sleepies

~~

Good morningggg lesgetatit

14:50 "vomit of metal" ashhdjdjd

15:16 a wild Martina appears!

15:36 and if you folks look to your left, you'll see a wild Constance being the voice of reason once again

15:57 "lose the bucket" "I'm not gonna do that" HELL YEAH KATE

16:07 I get not having the bucket on the court lolol, I thought Martina was telling Kate to lose the bucket in general. Like, yeah, good luck convincing her to so that

16:35 show!Kate is much angrier than book!Kate and I'm still deciding how I feel about that. The Kate we've known from the books is a sunshine baby with looots of repressed trauma.

17:03 ......what is that. why is that.

17:11 WAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE REYNIE AHEHDJDJD

17:15 HI MADGE

17:41 the grand swell in the music makes me think it's going to go comically wrong

17:51 she's majestic because she's a queen 🥺

18:03 LMAO CALLED IT

18:14 Rhonda and Number Two getting at each other is such a sisterly thing to do 😂😂😂

18:37 ohhhhh? Someone's approaching? Miss Perumal perhaps????

18:45 YEAHHHHH BABY

18:50 PROTECTIVE MOM COMIN IN HOT!!!

19:22 THEYRE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭 I feel like I've been subconsciously starved for her and Mr. Benedict's interactions

19:36 died at that line in the one trailer

20:00 so Miss Perumal pulled a Sherlock Holmes. Love that for her

20:20 Cheri Tupintown??? Of all the aliases they could pick, Cheri Tupintown???

20:33 "Power in Truth Inc" that HAS to be something Rhonda came up with

21:01 you can literally watch Mr. Benedict realize that this is a woman not to be fucked with and he is CORRECT

21:23 "he's fine. Perfectly fine." At this, Mr. Benedict's pants caught aflame.

21:52 something about Constance sitting in on practice!!! It scratches an itch!!!!

22:19 "incorporate the helix. Live in the helix." Lord Helix is pleased with this offering.

22:26 so what I'm hearing is Kate is going to blow up on Constance for messing with the bucket

23:13 unrelated but Jillson'a shoes are cute

23:29 why does this room give off Johnny Depp's willy wonka vibes

24:13 that looks like a chair from a doctor's office waiting room 😭

25:29 they do be egg heads tho

26:02 baby girl, I have no idea why you're crying at weird art but let me dry your tears 🥺🥺

26:50 SHE FOUND ITTTT

27:27 okay Indiana Jones, go off

27:46 why did that kinda sound like Miss Perumal

28:43 the return of everyone's favorite, "enjoyable"

29:05 not that I'm not loving the ice breaker questions and the one-sided conversation, but I'm not loving it

29:22 oh so we're getting right into it aren't we

29:54 his eyes being open again makes this infinitely creepier

30:36 "where's your proof?" Miss Perumal doesnt fuck around!!!

31:29 you're telling me Constance has been there all day?? And Kate went to find her???? 🥺

31:58 oh so we're getting right to it then?? Kate addressing her independence and trust issues arc????

33:29 NEWS!!!!

33:49 CONSTANCE RIDING PIGGYBACK!!!!!!

34:04 okay, so they opened the murder hole, what are they gonna do now

34:59 Italian? 🤨 m'sir that is so fancy

34:59 fun story I learned Italian diction in college, so I know a little bit

35:16 "take your time" the whisperer says, immediately repeating the prompt to get the answer sooner

35:31 theeeeere it is

35:46 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHISPERER SAYING "YOU ARE HOME" 😭😭😭 the show really played up the cult shit!!

36:02 Kate being protective of Constance 🥺

36:20 ohhh shit is it time for Connie girl to have double Reynie? Double Sticky?

36:36 STICKY

36:52 "what kind of nonsense?" HAVE THEY NOT ASKED THAT BEFORE THIS?????

37:14 "and your tiny brain can somehow pick it up!!" KATE STOP 😂😂😂

37:16 "I knew you had to be special in some way." WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

37:51 she's right, this is disregard for their safety. The show made Mr. Benedict and his team a lot more back-alley and dishonest, and Miss Perumal has every reason to be pissed

38:30 oh good they finally remembered he has narcolepsy

39:38 and the best mom award goes to:

40:38 I was gonna say that this hallway is how I imagined the KEEP in riddle of ages but then I remembered that (spoilers) the Institute is the KEEP

40:46 oh, hello propoganda

41:10 that's the other person Rhonda couldn't contact, along with Mr. Bloom. This has to be the brainsweeping process

41:22 yeppppp

41:44 this dark doctor's office theme gives me horror movie vibes

42:22 ohhhh, so that's how they replaced that scene where the four of them jump in a crate to hide and Sticky drops his glasses in the open

42:47 and so we've come to the part of the story where Sticky and Reynie become infinitely more conflicted

42:47 and since we've reached that point..... can we have the white knight scene? Pretty please? Please Disney I'm begging you-

43:12 so Reynie just figured that out without Constance? :/

44:03 love the manipulation

44:31 I'm sorry, the farm?

44:35 farm and forest????

45:16 "the Emergency has served its purpose" 😳 well okay then murder man

45:39 "one thought, one purpose" the hive mind rises once more

45:48 LOVE THE MANIPULATION

46:07 "what have you done to earn anyone's trust?" VALID

46:26 "please do!" WHY AM I EMOTIONAL

47:06 "we still have the falcon" that you do 😂

47:19 AYYY HERE WE GO!!! Time for Milligan to stay on the island??

47:49 ohhhh Constance, casual telepath strikes again

48:16 "stop it, Kate!" OOOOHHHHH

48:53 that line ("it would be nice to be unburdened") would be funny as shit if not for the fact that Constance is a telepath unbeknownst to herself and can both subconsciously perceive people's thoughts and hear the subliminal messages

49:20 HI MRS. PERUMAL!!!

49:25 wow, she's really going through with it 😳 not that I doubted her, but still, that's dedication

49:39 OH SHIT

50:17 oh, so he's an asshole to SQ too. Got it. Torches and pitchforks? Ready to kick his ass?

50:40 "for the moment, anyway" FUCKIN WHAT

This episode was really good!!! They covered a LOT. I hope Miss Perumal comes back to the group and talks about her findings, I hope Milligan goes to get the kids and they tell him no, and I hope they get that classic 4-person Society brainstorming and binding time that hits that sweet spot

[evendeadlmthehero]

The Sun and The Moon

(Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader)

Episode III: The Five Mistakes of a Jedi

Summary: “You were one of the 12 Padawans that Luke Skywalker taught. There, you met the love of your life. Your first best friend, your first lover and your first boyfriend; Ben Solo. Everything was perfect. That is, until the Jedi temple was burned by Ben Solo himself. 5 years pass since you last saw him and he isn’t the man you used to know. The Moon preferred darkness and in that darkness, Kylo Ren was born.”

Warnings: some swearing, murder and NSFW content.

The Sun and The Moon Masterlist

Ultimate Masterlist

18 years old

“Hey Y/N, wake up,” you heard a voice whisper to you. You let out a moan, snuggling deeper into your bed. “C’mon, wake up.”

Your eyes fluttered open to see Ben with the widest smile ever, holding a plate of pancakes drizzled with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Candles with the number ‘18’ was stuck on top of the breakfast creation.

“Happy birthday my Sun,” he spoke, moving over to kiss you on your forehead. You hummed in approval. “I made you something.”

“I can see that,” you grinned, getting up from your bed to grab the delicious looking plate of pancakes. “It looks amazing.”

You begun eating, moaning everytime you have the syrup mixed in with whipped cream. Ben sat down, watching with a grin on his face. “Can you believe you are finally 18?”

You slowed down eating slightly, an uneasy look settling on your face. Ben took notice of this look and grabbed your hand. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just-“ you put the plate down, shaking your head. You then rubbed your temple before facing the love of your life. “I’m 18. You’re almost 21. You should’ve become a Jedi this year with Almec, Daario and Leirra and gone with Luke to the Resistance base. But you didn’t. Why?”

“Y/N-“

“Why?”

Ben sighed, letting go of your hand. “If we become Jedi, it means we must potentially end things with one another. And- and I don’t want that.”

“We don’t have to, we can keep everything in secret,” you told him. Ben let out a bitter laugh, getting up from his seat.

“Please, you’re telling me Luke wouldn’t know? He already knows and he won’t let us train with each other as Padawans,” he spoke, brushing his hair back. “Imagine if we were Jedi? He would banish the both of us. Shame us. Because God forbid that I, Ben Solo, am ever happy and found someone who actually loves me.”

“Ben-“

“All my life, I felt like I had to prove something to my Uncle. That I’m not like Grandfather. And everytime, he always spits on my face, trying to get rid of everyone I love. But I won’t let that happen, no, that won’t happen. Because I won’t let it,” Ben continued on. He then looked at you, seeing your eyes looking at him in confusion. “But let’s not talk about that now. Today is your birthday. And I have a surprise for you tonight.”

You let out a small laugh, still a bit taken back by his little rant. He was breathing deeply, his eyes moving around your room like he regretted the words coming out of his mouth. His eyes looked at yours, desperate to hear you say something, anything.

“I can’t wait.”

-

Ben sat patiently on his chair, nervously bouncing his knee. He had spent hours trying to arrange this; a table near the edge of the cliff, rose petals scattered across the table, a candle illuminating the environment and a gourmet meal that he had prepared himself.

It would’ve been quicker to arrange, if he had help by a friend. But he didn’t. No one liked Ben, or in his mind he thought no one did. In his mind however, that did not matter. You were all he needed.

But see, the thing is, when you rely on one person, that person becomes your whole life. Your day doesn’t start until their’s does. What you do depends on what the other person wants to do. Your thoughts, behaviour, is affected by their’s. And that concept is dangerous. Because once that person exits their life, whether by death or purpose, their own life crashes, burns. And they are left with nothing but ashes, a reminder of what was.

And then, their lives have no purpose but what the next person asks them of. That is what it means to be dependent.

And that is how Ben was. You both never noticed at that time, but he was someone who relied heavily on you. Maybe you should have realised, when you saw the way his eyes lit up the moment you walked towards him in a white, silky dress, pearls adorned on your hair.

“You look amazing,” Ben spoke breathlessly, watching how the candle accentuated your features. You smiled lovingly at him, walking over and pressing a kiss on his lips.

And then the last night you would ever spend the with him, unbeknownst to you, went on. Many laughs and kisses were shared. It was a night you would not forget. And it wasn’t because you lost your virginity to the man you love on your 18th birthday, you wished that reason was why this night was so memorable.

But that might, you had made five mistakes.

“I’m ready,” you spoke in a quiet voice, looking at him in awe, like he was the one who created all the things in the galaxy. Ben scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding what you were hinting. “I want you to make love to me, Ben Solo.”

That was your first mistake.

Within a flash, you were pressed against the wall by Ben in your room, kissing like you haven’t seen each other in years. His hands were grabbing you wherever he could, both of you panting like starved dogs.

He picked you up before gently lying you on the bed, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving kisses along the way. You let out a breathless moan, your hand tugging at his roots. Ben then looked up, his eyes half lidded. “Are you sure?”

“More than I’ll ever be.”

And that was the night you lost your virginity. You hadn’t slept that night, too giddy with emotions that you couldn’t stop thinking how happy you were as you smiled, drawing shapes on Ben’s back. Wind quietly howled as your window was left open, stars bright in the sky.

But, as fate had willed, you had felt thirsty. Your mouth felt dry. So you quietly got up from your bed, trying not to wake up Ben. Putting on a robe, you begun walking outside to go fetch a bucket of water from the well outside.

That was your unnoticed mistake.

As you begun to attack the bucket onto the rope, you felt a buzz against your neck, feeling a presence behind you. Turning around, you were shocked to see who it was. “Almec?”

“In a flesh,” he spoke, but it sounded a bit dry, like he was wounded. You smiled at him, pulling up your robes more as you realised how you may look inappropriate right now with just a pink silk robe.

“When did you come back from the Resistance base?” You spoke, trying to make a conversation out of an awkward situation. The wind picked up, making your hair fly everywhere. Yet, you still did not hear a response from Almec. “Almec?”

“You know I loved you,” he confessed, taking a step towards you. You moved hair out of your way, looking at Almec in shock. You watched as he kept moving towards you, a broken look on his face. “I loved you. I still love you. And- and I came back to tell you that I left the Jedi. I’m no longer a Jedi. Because of you, Y/N. I want to be with you.”

“Almec-“

“But you slept with him. You slept with that little fucking bastard-“

“Almec-“

“Who fucking killed a bird when he were little and he convinced you he didn’t kill him when I saw him do it with my own eyes! I saw it Y/N! But you always want to believe him. Only him. It’s always him. It will always be him. And one day, he’s going to fuck up. But it would be too late. It will be too late for you,” he spoke, his face now mere inches away from yours. “But even then, you’ll still come running back to him. In the end, you always do.”

Tears were streaming down your face as you looked at him in anger. You looked at him with all the anger you could muster, but you didn’t say anything. You just looked at him like he had betrayed you.

That was your weakest mistake.

Because that quiet little moment, that moment of what could’ve been filled with words defending the person you love, was replaced by a kiss. A kiss you did not want, a kiss not initiated by you. A kiss you had wanted to pull away from, your sense of loyalty kicking in, but couldn’t because Almec’s arms were wrapped around you.

But it did not matter what you wanted to do. Because when someone walks by and sees, they’ll see merely two people kissing.

And that’s exactly what Ben saw. You did not see him, he made his presence known by pushing Almec away from you.

“Ben!” You screamed, as you watched him continuously punch Almec, his eyes black as night. That had taken you back. “Ben stop it! Ben please stop it!”

He did not listen as Almec’s blood splattered against his face. And he didn’t even flinch. You watch, now even more horrified. The most horrified you’ve ever been in your life. You could tell that Almec was in the verge of death. This man, a man you’d known for ages, was going to die in the hands of your lover if you did not intervene.

So you did what you had to do. You used the force against him and pushed him away. Far away from you and Almec. When you made sure he was far away, you ran towards Almec, cradling his head in your arms as he let out a groan. You looked at Ben, who looked just as horrified as you did. “Y/N-“

“Leave,” you spoke, the tone in your voice holding a strict seriousness within it. Ben stood up, gulping as he looked at you, his eyes shining like he was trying to hold back tears.

“Y/N-“

“Leave!” You screamed as you stood up, the wind picking up from the strong aura of the force that surrounded you. Ben looked at you one last time before nodding, turning to look away.

And you did not chase after him.

That was your worst mistake.

You should’ve ran after him. You should’ve been there with him at his most vulnerable state, a state where he could be manipulated by anyone and anything.

As you patched up Almec at the infirmary, not wanting anyone to find out about what had just took place, your mind was thinking about Ben. And how Almec was right about you always running back to him. But you won’t. Not this time. Not looking at Almec’s face, his barely unidentifiable face.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” Almec spoke, his voice coming out a whisper due to his probably broken ribs. You ignored him, moving water through the force to ice out his injuries. “I- I didn’t mean to. To cause a rift between you two. I- I just love you so much, and-“

“Okay, that’s done. Just make sure you apply a new bandaid every 6 hours after putting on disinfectant,” you instructed. Almec nodded, taking the hint. You gave him one last look before walking off to your quarters.

-

It was 4AM when you finally fell asleep. It was hard, but eventually you felt yourself drifting into oblivion.

‘You wanted to kill me!’ You heard a voice cry out. You stirred in your sleep, barely awake as you clung onto your blanket. The wind howled even stronger as your windows begun to ruttle. ‘You will pay for this!’

‘Ben, no!’ You heard another voice yell. You let out a groan, fluttering your eyes open as a full-blown headache consumed you. You got up from your bed, holding your head as you let out a cry. You felt darkness consuming your body, filling your veins.

‘Ben does not exist. He is weak, a young boy clinging on love,’ you heard Ben speak. Your hand went to your mouth as you realised what was happening. The darkness that Ben had warned you about was starting to consume him. The one moment you weren’t there for him, he had invited darkness.

‘I am Kylo Ren.’

You then heard yells from outside. Running over to your window, you let out a cry as you see the temple on fire. The crackling sound was louder than the strong gust of wind. You gulped, knowing the person who started this fire.

Your hands trembled as you grabbed your lightsaber, ready to do what was necessary. Not because you were a Jedi, but because this was something only you could do.

Grabbing your cloak, you then ran over to the the temple, the heat of the fire getting hotter and hotter. You breathed in the smoke, before lifting your arms and slowly bringing it down, allowing the fire to simmer before completely evaporating. You then swallowed the nerves stuck in your throat, a tear rolling down your face as you realised what had enfolded.

Walking around the temple, sadness consumed you as you realised how little was left of this place, how there was nothing. You then let out a cry as you see 10 of the Padawans and Jedi members who had come back from Luke’s mission. They were now just blackened skeletons lying on the floor. One in particular was your friend Leirra, whose necklace was still around her neck. You sobbed as you unclipped her necklace, placing it in your pocket.

“I see you’re finally here,” you heard the now Kylo Ren speak. You let out a cry slowly standing up as you felt like your legs were about to give up on you. “I was going to kill Almec, but he ran away just in time. But now that I’ve killed all the Jedi, he can live out the rest of his days in regret before I eventually kill him.”

You stopped crying, a looking of nothingness on your face. You then turned around, looking at him. “Are you really gone, Ben Solo?”

“I killed that bird,” Kylo spoke, his face showing no remorse. “I’ve never been Ben. I’ve always been Kylo. I was showed the true power of the force. But I can show you, Y/N. I can show you the force. And together, we could rule the Galaxy.”

“You really aren’t Ben Solo if you thought I’d say yes to that,” you coldly spoke. Kylo looked slightly upset but quickly masked it. You then turned on your lightsaber, the mechanical hum coming to life. The white light of your saber illuminated your face and Kylo knew from the expression on your face that you weren’t coming back to him anytime soon.

“Would you really kill me, my Sun?” Kylo spat out the nickname he had for you bitterly as he took a step forward, challenging you.

“For the Jedi?” You spoke, thinking of all the people Kylo killed, including your friend Leirra. You took a step forward, pointing your lightsaber towards his neck. “Without question.”

Kylo pulled out his blue lightsaber, waiting for you to attack. You let out a war cry, running towards him. He quickly dogged you before swinging his lightsaber at your figure. You quickly slid down, avoiding the pulsing light by a millimeter.

You then swung your lightsaber the same time he did, your lightsabers letting out a loud hum as they made in contact with each other. You both looked each other in the eye as you tried to overpower each other. You felt the darkness within him, but you also felt his loneliness, his slight regret yet knowing it was too late to go back.

Eventually he overpowered you, pushing you towards the floor. Your lightsaber fell out of your hands as you tried to crawl away from Kylo who stopped you by using the force. You looked at him, now scared. Kylo had seen how afraid you were and for a slight secound, his face fell. He knew it. He knew you were scared of him. You were scared of him like everyone else was.

“Master Luke was right,” Kylo spoke, his lightsaber now millimeters away from your neck. “I did go too easy on you.”

Kylo breathed in, trying to do what he was told to do, what he was destined to do. The look of fear of him only delayed that so he looked away from you. When he finally breathed out, he swung the lightsaber back but hesitated.

And in that slight hesitation, Master Luke had swooped in, using the force to push Kylo away. He then faced you urgently, a look of seriousness in his face. “Run!”

“No, we can still save him!” You told him, as you saw Kylo get up, rubbing his head groaning.

“You cannot save him!” Luke yelled at you, his eyes wide in fury at your lack of cooperation. “Now run!”

You looked at Kylo one final time. The final time you’ll see him for years to come. His eyes made his way towards you. And the face you had made would be engrained in his face for eternity; the face of betrayal.

You turned around, before quickly bolting. You knew that Luke had a spaceship, so you’d get it in and get the hell away from the island. You will leave this island, forget about being a Jedi, about falling in love with Ben Solo. You will forget him. You have to forget him. You will leave this island and never look back. Because you could never go back to how things used to be. You could not save him.

That was your last mistake.

Taglist (CLOSED):

@lafy-taffy @ah-callie @eridanuswave @janilovecookies @penny4yrthoughts @hello-juuliana @lullaboid @artsyzartsi @thescarletknight2014 @oh-mymendes @marrypuffsstuff @i-have-arrived-bitch @lizziekins234 @treestarrrrrrrr @petalduck @forksoffortune @morningdangerheart @laubluered @killtherandomness @rintheemolion @channna @ashleymarieriffle @oopsiedoopsie23 @cynthianokamaria @bugga-bee @theboyxwholived @bookgirlunicorn @princess-yuna @ren-ni @pokengirl2 @i-am-lokii-of-asgard @wecouldbreakthedistance @bellsclarkee @mell-bell @iwritefanficnotprophecies @freaky-dcaky @steve-thotgers @saucysuazo @gothicgirl100 @sincerelymaria @broadway-runaway @writtenbypics @autobotgirl15-blog @holacherrycola

[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)

After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.

I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.

Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):

Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:

Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.

So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!

We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?

Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.

You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?

Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.

Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.

Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.

We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.

Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.

Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!

‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.

Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.

‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.

Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.

Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.

Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.

Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.

Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.

Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.

‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.

Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.

Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.

So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.

‘You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.

Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.

Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.

Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.

Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*

Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.

Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.

My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.

Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.

Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.

Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...

Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.

Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.

That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.

Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.

Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.

The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...

Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:

The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.

Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.

Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.

Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.

Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...

All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!

[hopetofantasy]

Culture, parallels & meta - S3 E2

Zaterdag 10:21

That’s character: In this scene, they’re again establishing some of Robbe’s insecurities. We already know from previous seasons that he often feels like the third wheel, keeps to himself, lets people walk all over him or apologizes a lot, so that they don’t hate him or abandon him (like his dad did). But this scene takes it even further: he doesn’t want to be a burden. Not with stuff like his friend’s party mess, so he cleans up as early and fast as he can. Not with taking food that doesn’t belong to him, so he chooses to not eat anything instead. 

Perfect parallel: Zoë mentioning “Especially the pasta” in this season, because Milan stole her pasta at the beginning of hers.

Surprise bitch, guess who? Milan’s one-nightstand appears to be ‘Georgy Chtchevaev’, a close friend of Jonathan Michiels (Viktor) and other cast members. Small, small world.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe’s expression at the end reveals how he longs for something like Milan has, but then realizes he might never have/want that. (Internalized homophobia is a bitch, y’all!)

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The guy pulls out strawberry yoghurt from ‘Colruyt’ out of an almost empty fridge along with a spoon, from the cutlery drawer. Robbe’s gaze keeps lingering a tad too long on the half naked boy in their kitchen.

°

Zaterdag 14:43

C is for culture: 

“Hey, I’m working here” - Teens are allowed to get a student job, as long as they’re at least 15 years old and completed the first two years of high school. The rules around how often they may work, has changed a lot during the last decade. However, nowadays, they’re allowed to work at a lower social security tariff as long as they don’t go over 475 working hours per year. Otherwise, they’ll have to pay the normal amount or even taxes if they surpass a certain income limit.

“No, I was just shopping” - C&A (Clemens & August Brenninkmeijer) is a Dutch chain store of origin with approx. 1,500 stores in Europe. They mostly attract older generations, as their style is seen as a bit old-fashioned and classic. That’s why their popularity significantly dropped in recent years, causing closures in some cities. - A smart move of putting product placement in a youth tv series.

Perfect parallel: 

Robbe pulling a t-shirt off the rack to get Noor’s attention in this episode, him using the same tactic with a sweater in the last episode.

Noor sitting on a reluctant Robbe’s lap to kiss him here, Robbe happily straddling Sander to kiss and talk later on.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe again faking that he likes Noor’s sexual advances.

Lost in translation: Robbe’s mom texting him “Ziet ge mij niet graag?”, which could literally be interpreted as “Don’t you want to see me?”, but in this context it actually means “Don’t you love me anymore?”.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: In case you didn’t catch it, Robbe is making a double joke with the t-shirt - saying that Noor is sexy as well as repeating the song on the store radio. Jana’s look at a disheveled Noor reveals that she knew Robbe wasn’t just ‘trying something on’.

Bonus: This season uses a lot of mirrors to reflect Robbe’s emotions and inner turmoil. Even his relationships with Noor and Sander are mirrored within the season itself: he never liked what Noor did for him (waiting outside the school, making out in public, going next level) and he was amazed at Sander doing the same. Mirrors are the perfect way of showing how Robbe has two faces: his ‘straight’ public persona and his struggling inner ‘gay’ self.

°

Zondag 19:59

That’s character: Zoë’s mom behavior is at full force here. When she spots her friends, roommates or boyfriend in difficult situations, she jumps to the opportunity to make them feel better. She instantly defends them, provides a shoulder to cry on, gives advice, feeds them when needed, tries to figure out what they’re feeling, ... Sometimes giving some tough loving too. Zoë just has that caring nature of her own. This probably stems from the fact that she missed out on parental figures and wants to feel needed as a compensation.

Perfect parallel:

Symbolism! Robbe walking away from his mom’s room in a cold-looking hallway, because he’s not comfortable (yet) with the situation. And him walking towards Sander’s room in a warmly lit hallway, since he’s at peace with what’s happening with his love.

Zoë asking Milan if he’s “Playing hard to get?” in this situation, Milan asking Robbe if his clothes say “Hard to get or playing hard to get?” later.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe analyses what Milan is doing with his partner, not really sure how to feel about it.

Nod to the OG: Zoë stating “The only thing you can do now is just be there for her and yes, that you have to wait”, sounds oddly familiar to the minute-for-minute speech by Sonja.

Funny coincidence: Milan making out heavily with his boy in front of Robbe and his salad, might look like a nod to the ‘Right in front of my salad’ meme.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Robbe’s other (thicker) coat is hanging on a hook in the hallway. Senne’s “If I had have known that, I would have tried harder” indicates that he probably had to retake a year in high school, because otherwise he’d been a student in uni earlier on. 

°

Maandag 16:27

C is for culture: “Kwak en Boemel kwamen binnen” (= “Kwak and Boemel entered”) - Robbe is referring to two side characters in the Belgian comic books ‘Jommeke’, who are homeless, lowlife criminals. The main protagonist in the series is the 11-year-old boy ‘Jommeke’. He is clever, honest, brave, loves adventure and is recognizable by his distinct blonde bowl cut. It’s one of the best-selling strips in Flanders, besides ‘Suske and Wiske’. 

Perfect parallel: Jens’ first time suggesting toothpaste to jerk off happens here in S3, but he repeats it again during wtFOCKDOWN. 

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: The boys questioning why Robbe didn’t go all-the-way with Noor yet.

Lost in translation: Noor saying “Is dat een eik? Want ik zie veel eikels hier!” has completely lost its meaning when translated. ‘Eikels’ means ‘acorns’, which come from the ‘eik’ (= ‘oak tree’). But ‘eikels’ also means ‘assholes’. That’s why she’s pointing out the oak tree, to diss the boys that they’re actually ‘eikels’. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Again, the very subtle hint at the beginning that Sander was at the skatepark - checking Robbe out. Robbe pulls the middle finger at the boys hollering. His skateboard has a ‘World Industries’ sticker on it. 

°

Dinsdag 14:56

Perfect parallel: 

Robbe arguing “A whole weekend on a trip with people you don’t know?” against Noor coming along in this episode, his flirty affirmative answer to Sander’s “Like a weekend trip with strangers, right?” in the next.

Amber and her match making skills again! First, she tried to set herself up with Senne in S1, then Jana and Zoë with Max in S2, now Luca with Aaron in S3. 

Lost in translation: “Ik denk niet dat ze daar goesting voor heeft” - ‘Goesting’ is a typical Flemish word for anything that has to do with desire, preference or willingness to do something in any context (work, food, activities, sex, ...). That’s why Aaron answers him with “I had a different impression on Friday”, taking the “I don’t think she has ‘goesting’” in a very sexual way.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: The real reason why he doesn’t want Noor to join the trip, is him not wanting to fake his attraction to her. Except Robbe isn’t willing to admit that to himself yet.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Luca has braces!

°

Woensdag 12:21

Perfect parallel: Noor’s “And then you haven’t even seen the men yet” as a rebuttal to Moyo’s comments about art school girls in this episode, Robbe meeting the beautiful art boy Sander in the next. 

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe just doesn’t see the appeal in watching women dance, since he’s not attracted to them. But the guys don’t get why he says ‘no’ to the recital.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Noor is greeting Britt with a hug in the background. Moyo kisses the dance recital flyer right before going outside. 

°

Donderdag 07:21

C is for culture: Robbe is making a sandwich with choco spread and speculaas cookies. ‘Speculaas’ (’Biscoff' in English) is a spiced shortcrust biscuit with origins in the Netherlands and Belgium. It’s typically baked for the ‘Sinterklaas’ and Christmas celebrations. Though, it can be eaten as a treat to accompany coffee, thee or ice-cream as well. 

Perfect parallel: 

Zoë saying “I think you’re not used to eating healthy” earlier this episode and Robbe making sweet sandwich at the breakfast table, confirming her statement here.

Milan taking revenge for Zoë on a sleeping Senne in this episode, him helping Robbe prank Moyo for being homophobic in a later one. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Milan’s breakfast is a banana. Senne pulling Zoë into their bed, without her spilling the coffee in her hand.

°

Vrijdag 18:02

Perfect parallel: Luca dissing Moyo’s sexist statements with “Do you actually have a girlfriend? ... I understand why” earlier, her saying “Moyo, then you better take a good look at it, because it will be the last time you’ll see that room” here.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Zoë and Jana hugging each other outside. Luca giving Moyo a clear wink after dissing him. Robbe didn’t expect Noor to sleep with him in the bunkbed, as his face falls when she says she will.

°

Vrijdag 22:04

C is for culture: "It isn’t because he isn’t here...” - The reason that Senne couldn’t join their trip to the seaside, is that he doesn’t have a fall break. Universities usually start their school year a week later than university colleges, so they’re the only ones who don’t have a vacation at the end of October.

Perfect parallel: Robbe looking at drunk Noor with a sad expression of “Why can’t I just love this girl?” in this episode, him looking at a sleepy Sander with a face filled with love in the last episode.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe trying to pry Noor’s hands away from his body.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Senne responds with “#metoo” as a joke, referencing the movement and him missing Zoë. Her face freezes for a few seconds to indicate that she is indeed jealous. Robbe’s little wink at Luca. 

[jennycalendar]

(via https://open.spotify.com/playlist/42wZ51TgoyxD4xv0xPblT7?si=fOBdq5sJRjSWyGEcyvogXQ)

@angelinthefire and a very nice anon asked about my calendiles playlist, so here it is! i put some feels-specific lyrics under the cut because every song on this playlist has a very different giles/jenny vibe (except for the bay city rollers cover of i only want to be with you, which i really only put on because i take one line from one episode as rupert giles gospel).

i posted a version of this about two years ago, but. it’s been a while since then. now: thirty songs, nearly two hours, AND over the last five-ish years, i have organized this thing so that the mood loosely follows the canon trajectory of giles and jenny’s relationship!

(PLEASE talk to me about this playlist you will make my DAY. or give me song recs! that is welcome as well!)

1. friday i’m in love (the cure)

i don’t care if monday’s blue / tuesday’s grey and wednesday too / thursday i don’t care about you / it’s friday i’m in love

2. there she goes (the la’s)

there she goes / there she goes again / and i just can’t contain / this feeling that remains

3. she’s so high (tal bachman)

first class and fancy-free / she’s high society / she’s got the best of everything / what could a guy like me ever really offer?

4. would you be so kind (dodie)

oh, would you be so kind / as to fall in love with me? you see i’m trying / i know you know that i like you / but that’s not enough, so if you will / please fall in love

5. stop desire (tegan and sara)

i can’t deny, i’m begging for attention / dropping hints, hoping for some tension / getting tired of making all this racket / waiting on you to get your ass in gear

6. i won’t say i’m in love (hercules)

who’d you think you’re kidding? / he’s the earth and heaven to you / try to keep it hidden / honey, we can see right through you

7. accidentally in love (counting crows)

how much longer will it take to cure this? / just to cure it ‘cause i can’t ignore it if it’s love

8. i only want to be with you (bay city rollers)

‘cause you’ve started somethin’, can’t you see / that ever since we met, you’ve had a hold on me?

9. must have done something right (relient k)

we should get jerseys / ‘cause we make a good team / but yours would look better than mine / ‘cause you’re out of my league

10. give your heart a break (demi lovato)

the day i first met you / you told me you never fall in love / but now that i get you / i know fear is what it really was

11. jackie and wilson (hozier)

she blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild / laughing away through my feeble disguise / no other version of me i’d rather be tonight / and lord, she found me just in time

12. collide (howie day)

i’m open, you’re closed / where i’ll follow, you’ll go / i worry i won’t see your face / light up again

13. louisa (lord huron)

do you know what loneliness does to a man? / turn him into the walking dead / i may have died, but your lovin’ raised me

14. manchester (kishi bashi)

oh hello / will you be mine? / i haven’t felt this alive in a long time

15. love don’t come easy (the moody blues)

but then again / i don’t think i’ve ever looked / had the time to spare / the will to share with you

16. between my teeth (orla gartland)

you need me, i don’t need you / just admit it / admit it / oh, i’m too broken to fix you too / i admit it / i admit it

17. i couldn’t be your friend (tegan and sara)

now you wanna say i was a liar / led you astray, i won’t deny it / i did what they thought would be good for me

18. supercut (lorde)

and in my head / the visions never stop / these ribbons wrap me up / but when i reach for you / there’s just a supercut

19. fuel on the fire (bear’s den)

there’s a demon in the server / and histories we cannot erase / you’re so close and so far away / you’re so close now

20. s.o.s (abba)

where are those happy days / they seem so hard to find / i try to reach for you / but you have closed your mind

21. the story of us (taylor swift)

oh, a simple complication / miscommunications lead to fallout / so many things that i wish you knew / so many walls up, i can’t break through

22. she lit a fire (lord huron)

i have been trying to find her, wanna give all i’ve got / she lit a fire and now she’s in my every thought

23. agape (bear’s den)

so tell me how long, love, before you go / and leave me here on my own / i know it / i don’t wanna know who i am without you

24. i’ll be waiting (adele)

please forgive me for my sins / yes, i swam dirty waters, but you pushed me in

25. breakfast at tiffany’s (deep blue something)

i see you, the only one who knew me / but now your eyes see through me / i guess i was wrong

26. all this and heaven too (florence + the machine)

but for all my education, i can’t seem to command it / and words are all escaping and coming back all damaged / and i would put them back in poetry if i only knew how / i can’t seem to understand it

27. fidelity (regina spektor)

i never loved nobody fully / always one foot on the ground / and by protecting my heart truly / i got lost in the sounds

28. the night we met (lord huron)

i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met

29. vanilla twilight (owl city)

i’ll watch the night turn light blue / but it’s not the same without you / because it takes two to whisper quietly

29. world spins madly on (the weepies)

and everything that i said i’d do / like make the world brand new / and take the time for you / i just got lost / and slept right through the dawn / and the world spins madly on

30. i will follow you into the dark (death cab for cutie)

no blinding light / or tunnels to gates of white / just our hands clasped so tight / waiting for the hint of a spark

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Banished (Part 21)

*Not My Gif*

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been locked up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished…

Post Date: 10-25-19

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 2.6K

~Banished Master List~

~Master List~

*Based off episode 2x08 of the 100 “Spacewalker”

You found yourself pacing back and forth inside Lexa’s tent, waiting for the brunette to come back. Things were not going well at all. First you find out Bellamy was alive, then you guys have a fight, THEN Clarke tells you that In exchange for peace Finn had to be sacrificed. This wasn’t how anything was supposed to go.

“What are you doing here?” Someone exclaimed as you turned around fast to see an angry Indra with her hand on her sword. You had to refrain from rolling your eyes as you glared at her.

“I need to speak to Lexa.” You told her as she unsheathes her sword directing it at you. You quickly stepped back as she took a step forward, making you a little worried but you didn’t show it.

“You’ll call her Heda. If she’s letting you stay you address her correctly.” She lowered her sword and for a second you were confused when she didn’t trust the blade into you. “I should kill you.” She tells you in more of a warning as you just stared at her, watching as she walked out of the room. You didn’t realize how shaky your breath was until you released it. Letting your eyes flutter close, you gripped your fists tight and before you knew it you were slamming them against the wood table.

“Did that help?” Lexa asked as she stood by the entrance of the tent, having watched your whole moment. You didn’t look at her, instead you stared at the slight coating of blood on the table as you slowly opened your hands to more blood before you wiped them on your pants.

“Yeah. All better now.” You lied before turning around. Lexa’s eyebrow was raised and her mouth was upturned into a smirk. “We need to talk about Finn.”

“He’s a Murderer Y/N. He slaughtered an entire village. Killed my people.”

“And I haven’t?” You countered as Lexa clasped her mouth shut, trying to choose her counter. “I’ve killed your people Lexa. And you never once asked for my death. In fact you invited me into your people.”

“Like i said, I’ve been watching you. Your Finn murdered a village without a second thought. The sky people abandoned you and you only killed when they attacked you. If you don’t want to be here then leave.” You were silent, you could see why Lexa was the commander, she was terrifying. But she was also right. Your head dropped and Lexa took that as your answer. She knew that if you left you’d have no where else to go. You met Lexa’s eyes one last time before turning out of the tent. “You have a lot of anger.” Lexa shouted right before you exited which caused you to stop. You didn’t look at her, only turning your head slightly to show you were listening. “You need to learn to control it.” You nodded slightly before leaving her tent.

The grounders around you all gawked as you walked through their camp but you just stared straight ahead until you found an almost empty fire and sat next to it. It wasn’t long before the rest of the grounders cleared away, leaving you alone to rest your head in your hands.

The entire room was staring at you besides Octavia and Lincoln who were holding each other. Lexa was staring at you as well, but you didn’t notice that either. Because all you were looking at was Bellamy.

You swore your mind was racing almost as much as your heart was and you refused to look away from Bellamy, even when Clarke turned to Lexa and Abby pulled you away and took your place. You obviously didn’t mind, let the doctor do the doctor work, you didn’t know what you were doing. Bellamy was about to take a step towards you and you saw his Adam’s apple bob as he tried to figure out what to say. But he couldn’t get words out fast enough.

“Lets go.” Lexa spoke to you, finally pulling you way from Bellamy. You risked taking another glance before nodding, following the girl out of the drop ship. You ignored the calls of Bellamy until his hand was on your arm, gentler than you would’ve imagined, almost as if he wasn’t sure you were really there.

Your suspicions seemed to be holding up as he looked down at where he touched you, squeezing slightly before releasing and your skin tingled from the lack of contact. From the lack of his contact. He slowly opened his mouth, hardly shaking his head and you knew exactly what he was going to say.

“I know. You thought I was dead, right?” You tried your best to sound harsh, trying to ignore the pounding in the back of your head that threatened a waver in your voice but it didn’t do much as Bellamy’s eyes dropped to the ground.

“I knew you were alive.” He whispered as you found yourself lightly gasping and your face turned sour.

“You knew?” You repeated as he looked at you with solemn eyes, looking up at Clarke briefly before you. You followed his gaze, eyes widening slightly as you realized what that meant. “Clarke told you she banished me.” Bellamy nodded as you bit your tongue.

No matter how much you tried to convince him or yourself that you two wouldn’t work out, you had hoped if Bellamy had made it he would’ve searched for you. But by the looks of it, he didn’t.

“I knew you were alive before that.” He finally admitted before walking past you. You stared at where he once stood for a second before turning around and finding Bellamy in the spot you had been last time he saw you here at the drop ship. “There was no body.” He whispered for the last time, knowing all the doubt Finn, Murphy, and the others gave him was wrong.

You both stayed in silence as you approached him looking at all the scattered charred bodies as if it was the first time you saw them. And the truth is it had been. You were so distracted when you first arrived at the drop ship that all the bodies, all the death, just faded into the background.

You had just gotten used to seeing the dead bodies.

Bellamy had no idea what you were doing as you turned towards the front gate to leave the camp. “Y/N!” He called, hoping you would spare one last glance back but much to his confusion you stopped just outside the gate and began scouring the ground.

For once your mind was completely blank of Bellamy as you held the silver chain in your hand, lightly coated in a layer of dirt but still shining as you looked at it. “Y/N?” Bellamy’s voice broke through your stupor and you felt his hand on your back as he kneeled down to your level. “Your necklace?” You were shocked that Bellamy even knew about it but you didn’t show him that. Instead you took the necklace and buried it, the last bit of your childhood before you heard Lexa calling you and the others.

“You’re going with them?” Bellamy asked quietly, coming closer to you.

“They didn’t banish me. Twice.” You shrugged without a care as you walked away before Bellamy grabbed you once again and you shoved his arm off. “No Blake. I’m not doing this right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m tired of it! I’m tired of no one understanding how much I’m going through! I’m tired of fighting. I’m tried of knowing that I’m not wanted with you guys. The grounders want me. Killer and all.” This time you finally walked away, right to where Lexa had been watching.

A pair of footsteps invaded your sanctuary as you looked up from your hands seeing Indra making her way to you from the entrance of the camp followed by a horse. she handed the horse off to some and says nothing to you, only beckoning you to follow. She led you to an empty part of camp before pointing at a sword on the ground.

“Pick it up. You want to be a grounder, you’ll need to learn how to fight like one.” You followed her lead, picking up the sword and copying her stance. You’ve never worked with a sword before. Hand to hand combat you could do, but this? You didn’t even know where to begin. She swung at you first as you ducked, dropping your sword to the ground. “On your feet Skaikiler.” She demands as you pulled yourself up. Indra glared at you, showing you how she was holding her weapon as you copied before she showed you how to swing it. You copied, clashing your sword with hers as a hint of a smirk appeared on her face before it disappeared. The next hour or so was much like that, Indra slowly showing you how to use the weapon but not saying anything.

“Again.” Indra said as you got in your fighting stance one last time, watching as Indra swung her sword at you. You ducked, quickly countering her as she barely avoided it. She took another go at you and you avoided it but you didn’t count on her striking again so quickly when she knocked your legs right from under you and you landed right on your back, all the air leaving you.

“Always watch your back.” She told you as you nodded and breathed heavily.

You stuck your arm out for help up but the older woman looked between you and your hand before turning around and leaving you. You got back onto your feet with a scoff, starting again and soon with a few dodges and a few scrapes from Indra it was her time to land on the ground. You didn’t know what you had done exactly, choosing to have forgo the use of the sword and just kick her legs out from under her. Indra glared at you and you stuck your arm out again, hoping she’ll let you pull her up but instead she slapped it away, making it fall back at your side as she stood up herself.

A man had came up to Indra, whispering something in her ear as you caught your breath. She nodded sending him away and looked at you. “Keep practicing. You need it.” She told you as she walked past you, making you turn around in confusion.

“We’re done?” You asked her as you panted, envying the fact she didn’t seem the outmost out of breath.

“Yes. We have justice to serve.” She said barely loud enough for you to hear as she walked away.

Justice? You thought as you made your way back to your makeshift tent. You barely got there before you heard chanting.

“Jus drein jus daun! Jus drein jus daun!” Grounders shouted as realization struck you.

“Finn.” You whispered as you ran towards the chant, your legs feeling like they could give out as you found Lexa talking to a group of people. “Lexa!” You yelled, getting her attention. She glanced at you, dismissing her people with a frown as you finally reached her. “You can’t do this.”

“It’s already done.” She says and you can feel yourself already regret this.

“Let me talk to him at least?” You asked and Lexa was hesitant but ultimately agreed. She led you to where Finn was tied to a pole.

“Hey Tarzan.” You said timidly as Finns eyes snapped to you in surprise, mouth agape.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? Why are you with the grounders?” He asked and you found yourself locking your jaw.

“Don’t Finn. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to be banished or for you to be here, like this. I didn’t want any of this.”

No one seemed to understand that. It’s almost as if everyone thinks you asked to be banished, to be tortured, to be arrested, to be a killer. No one seems to understand that the world doesn’t care what you want. It only cares when the person matters.

And that wasn’t you.

“I just want to stop fighting.” You whispered. Finn stayed silent as he looked off into the distance. You could barely make out the figures standing on a cliff above you both but when a certain blonde stepped closer to the fire you heard Finn’s breathing falter. Finn was your friend, banished or not and seeing him like this, tied and trying to hold back tears made you feel like shit. Guilt. It made you feel guilty.

“Y/N. I’m sorry.” He mumbled, meeting your glossed over eyes and you shook your head.

“May we meet again, you spacewalking tarzan.” Finn chuckled in his cries as a small smile graced his lips that spread to yours.

“May we meet again.” He repeated as Clarke made her way down the slope to her boyfriend and you. You left before she got there, giving them both private time as you stood next to Lexa.

“It is done.” Lexa says as finally find your place, looking up at her with knitted brows as she continued to stare at Finn and Clarke. Only when Clarke pulled away did you finally get a glimpse at the red coating her hand and knife.

Finn’s dead.

And for the first time, it wasn’t your fault. But why did you still feel guilty?

You felt your cheek get wet and you quickly wiped away the tears falling before anyone could see.

Kane had his eyes you the moment he saw you again and it pained him. Seeing you with the grounders wasn’t something he expected when the commander pulled you out of the room, but here you were. When Clarke mercy killed Finn, the kids around him cried and Raven in particular broke down in screams and falls into Bellamy’s arms and yet he still watched as you hid your emotions, he knew you had always been good at that.

You couldn’t take the pain of watching Raven, Clarke, or anyone cry over Finn. It was too much on you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. The only thing you could hear was your blood thumping and heart pounding right out of your chest. You stumbled backwards, pushing through the mass of people until the lights of the fire finally died down and it was just darkness surrounding you. You fell to your knees, letting your head hit the dirt as you hugged your yourself with shaky hands. You stayed like that for so long you didn’t even know.

“People die.” You reminded yourself in a slight whimper. “People die.”

A few conversations made their way to your ears and from the sounds of it you all were heading back to Tondc at daylight, but until then you had other plans. You pushed yourself off the ground, taking no notice to the way the dirt clung to your pants and face as you slowly crept to where Indra had started your training. Your sword still sat there, discarded at the side as you picked it up with loose fingers. It lulled out of your hand before you gripped it so tight your knuckles turned white. You took a swing, feeling the motion before closing your eyes and relaxing the grip. The moment you opened your eyes you took a swing, and another, and another, and another until the only thing you could feel was nothing but the ground beneath your feet and the weapon in your hand. No feelings. No guilt. No Finn. No Kane. No Bellamy.

It didn’t matter if you wanted to stop fighting or not. Fighting was the only way to numb your pain.

Tell me what you think and what you want to see!

***Reblogging with Banished Taglist***

All Taglists Open

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @just4muggles @saturn-aka-six @nathaliabakes @whyamihere-bro @colored-confetti @wiseeggspickleslime @sadn0va @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @wellhellotherelovey @hollymac79

Bellamy: @jodiereedus22 @nyxxxwtp @danielabetancourth

[makczio]

Maxence Danet-Fauvel's interview for EntourageS with Kevin Elarbi part 1/2

On this interview for EntourageS, Maxence and Kevin Elarbi talks about Actors Factory, the success of Skam France, the pros and cons of a transmedia serie, and Maxence’s favorite series.

K: So Skam, a phenomenal serie from france tv slash. A bet that also made france tv shlash because it’s a transmedia serie, which we’ll talk about it later with Maxence Danet Fauvel, one of the pioneer actor. How are you Maxence?

M: I’m very good!

K: We’ve been running after each other for few months now to know where we can meet, which podcast an everything. I’m so glad you’re here with us for this premiere on Betaseries the radio. This serie is amazing it’s crazy, on the representation but especially on its popularity. Is this something you expected?

M: No

K: By the way, how did you arrived on that serie?

M: How did I arrived? Well I was in an actor formation at the Actors Factory for, at the beginning I didn’t really knew why. And when I started to discover the method I thought “I would love to work on castings it would be cool to do casting director. We do classes opened to the public every friday since January, and at the class I did at the end of my second year there was Léa Coquin, the casting director for the first two seasons of Skam France, was in the public saw me and called me a couple of days later and proposed me to do a casting.

K: Because the Actors Factory, we’re going to talk about it now ‘cause you just started talking about it. For the people that doesn’t know or that are not actor. It’s a theatre school but not like Cours Florent or Cours Simon (French institutions were you can study theatre), but looks a lot like Actors Studio in the 50’s

M: Wow! You just said 3 things, if my coach hears you she destroys you haha

K: I mean by the creation and the group, it’s not 2k people classes, were we want to know the actor

M: Yeah

K: How much could you define Actors Factory?

M: Yes I’m saying that because I always have the habit to say School but she doesn’t like it. For her it’s a studio.She’s at the extreme opposite of the french methods of acting, so it’s not a theatre school it’s a… (Max just realised he wasn’t speaking in the mic haha) It’s really an actor formation for the cinema. We work on camera, we work on the organic processus of the actor. It’s far from a theatre school. And how can I talk about it? It’s a 2 years formation where we first work on ourselves which allows us to get rid of the mask and avoid pretending on the camera and really live things.

K: And you arrived on Skam with that formation? Because you just said that you were at the Actors first, so you worked on that character with that formation. With professors or alone?

M: So at first it was alone, and then for every role I play I’m helped by my coach, the one who trained me at the Actors Factory, she also train actors that aren’t in the Actors Factory. And when I really worked on my character I see her and everytime she gets to see things, not really important for the viewer but very important for me to understand my character more and play it with all I have.

K: Because in the seasons 3 and 4 of Skam France, the very popular ones, the word to mouth worked! So popular that whenever we do an interview with one of you it’s immediately translated in China, UK, well everywhere!

M: Haha it’s true!

K: In theses seasons your partner is Axel Auriant, you have a common narrative arc. You’re going very far in the scenes you’re playing for a series for “teenagers”, that’s why I wasn’t surprised to see Euphoria in your choices because Euphoria does that too with HBO and OCS in France but we’ll talk about that later. So I’d like to see a clip from Skam France, a love scene between you and Axel’s character, so you can explain to us if it’s a decision of France 3 and France TV Slash because it never happened to go that far in a teenager serie.

A part of the Samedi 9:17 clip is showed.

K: So a really beautiful scene with Axel Auriant that we kiss (in France, when we talk about someone we like on television or radio, we say we kiss but it means we salute). How did you worked together? I know you shoot many useful minutes per day, and we don’t see it because it’s a qualitative serie, as I said in the introduction of the podcast. So you shoot many useful minutes per day however it’s very qualitative and technical. How did you did? Did you see each other a lot? Talked a lot? Repeated a lot when you weren’t on set? How did it happened? 

M: So we have a big work behind where we repeated a lot with the director. With Axel we worked a lot about, how can I call that? It’s not even a work in fact, we get to know each other, first we went to take a beer, then we repeated at his place etc. And yeah we really took a big month to prepare ourselves, we got our texts and positions on the rooms rock solid before arriving on the set, so when we arrived on set and it was David’s goal, we just had to live all the colours that we created together, and yeah it worked so well because we trusted each other, we were well leaded with a great team. I mean it’s really an impressive team on Skam France because we don’t have a big budget, we shoot a lot and fast so it means that we barely sleeps, and really everyone is really invested and united and it gives a work energy were you don’t count your work hours, you don’t care acting 18 hours a day, you’re so invested that when it ends you feel like it’s a dream and lasted half a second and yeah the months were so fast!

K: Did you watched movies, did you got any book references or did you went with your knowledge in this character?

M: Well no, I never watch movies during a shooting or during the preparation 

K: That’s very interesting, can you explain why? I think I know why but...

M: You wanna know why? 

K: Yeah

M:  Well because… Well my favorite part during a shooting, what really makes me love it isn’t the shooting itself but all the month before, all my preparation, the isolation is really a phase where I need to be alone at my place, changing my morning routine and the decoration of my apartment, there’s really a work to be the character. And that’s really the phase that I love the most, and it’s something that should be me that I don’t want to be inspired by... I don’t want to take the risk to steal something that an actor build. But what I do is maybe better than going to the cinema, is that I go on the street and I observe a lot people. And for Skam France for example, it was really impressive. I spent 6 or 7 hours a day walking in Paris without a destination or a goal. I walked an sometimes there were things that came in my mind and when I went back home I wrote it and thought “Yeah that’s good, this is a good element for this or that” so bit by bit you build something and a complete character

K:  That’s so interesting! And as I said in the introduction, it’s a transmedia serie. So when we say transmedia we don’t understand it in the first place, can you explain what’s a transmedia serie? If I'm right it's a serie that take your character and broadcast it in real time. It's so 2.0. Did you understood this concept at first?

M: I understood… Well I didn't tried to understand it. Until the last day on set I was really focused on Eliott, and it's a character that's so close to me that I couldn't fail. It could've been so easy to go for my comfort zone thinking "Oh they took me for Maxence so I'll play some Maxence and it will be easy!" So no, until the end of the shooting I wasn't paying attention to that. I heard stuff, they asked us to take selfies on the set, I was expecting there was something to follow. But I understood that the serie was broadcasting in real time, so a Monday at 10:21 will be out a Monday at 10:21 and it was a full episode a Friday at 18:00 but I didn't really cared about it. So you want me to explain that's right?

K: No but that because when Lula explained me that concept when she came I didn't understood anything, I was thinking "What the fuck is that"

M: Okay so I'll explain

K: Yeah explaining but popularizing this term, for those who aren't used to this kind of serie

M: So a transmedia serie is… should I watch there? (he was pointing at the camera, funny he thought about that 11 minutes after the interview started). So basically a transmedia serie is… I'd like to call that a serie that you can't really see if you don't watch it during the airing time. Skam France season 3 you can find it in the France TV Slash website or youtube but during the airing, something like the scene we saw earlier, if it happens at, I'm going to say some crap I'll be bullied by fans haha, but I'd it happens Saturday at 11:21, I said it randomly, it will be online Saturday at 11:21 etc, and it's the same for every clip. And at the end of the week, there's the episode.

K: And that episode is the whole episode?

M: Yes that's the whole episode, plus, the characters have Instagram accounts where we can see them in real time, exchanging texts, that they put in an Instagram story so people can follow them, they post pictures during their days. For example if Eliott, well he doesn't do that but we can imagine Eliott posts a pic during the airing of an episode, if you update if Instagram account at that second the pic will appear. So that's a total immersion.

K: Isn't it dangerous for an actor, I'm thinking about the distance to have with the public, who is enormous. After the scene that we'll watch later I'll ask you something about the LGBTQI+ community in China or even the Middle East, that serie is very important and so many people watch it,  sometimes they're hiding just to watch it. But how do you put a frontier as an actor, I mean during the convention when you meet tour fans, this serie is one of the few ones to have that many conventions I mean you'll soon have one in Seoul, it's crazy

M: Yeah it's crazy 

K: Yeah, how do you do to.. Yeah there's tour character that's in your life and it's just fictional but is also everywhere like on Instagram. How do you do to put a certain distance? Is it something that you like or is it hard?

M: No that's not something that I really like, I mean I think we're already so much on our phones, even I am! I don't remember when but I discovered on Instagram you can see how much time you spend on it, it's dumb but you do there on the morning, during coffee, etc. I think it's not a good solution because we use a society problem to encourage people to use it more etc. I don't think people need that, I think in the new generation, there's people that wanna go to theater, there's young people that wanna go to the cinema, there's no need to give them that much on social networks to interest them. It's not something that I really like but it gives something to the serie that, I know when I watch a serie, during two seasons I miss the characters and I think "Fuck the next episode is in a year, it's hell", so in that case it can be cool. I don't know during an evening you wanna watch an episode of Peaky Blinders and the season isn't out yet, well you can see between the seasons what the characters are doing and it makes a link during the seasons. So there's something interesting about it but I can't say that I like it, because it would be a lie. The idea is good but if it was created in an other way I would've liked it too

K: So another clip and then I'll ask you to react to the importance of that serie for like I said the Middle East countries or China, countries where the liberties are less than in France, where your character and Axel's character are now close to political characters 

A part of the Friday 20:27 clip is showed.

K: Yeah so a part of a clip of Skam France, a strong one. Oh and you're filled with emotions

M: Noooo haha (he's moved and has his eyes all teary)

K: Haha barely. I didn't wanted to move you. I know how difficult it must be because I know you gave a lot of yourself for this scene and maybe you're back at how you were during the shooting 

M: Haha no I don't know

K: Haha yes I know, I tell you. Do to change the subject, I didn't wanted to touch you that much Maxence I'm sorry 

M: No that's cool, it's beautiful. It's such a beautiful scene. This scene is magnificent it kills me, Axel is...

K: It's everything 

M: Yeah it's everything, the music, the editing its wow!

K: Yes the travelling on him, and the light! I completely agree it's one of the most beautiful scene of this season, and I have to say thank you to Mathilde who works with me and insisted that I play this scene. Do you have any idea how important this serie is, seen by ao many people legally or not, even more seen in other countries than in France 

M: Oh really?

K: Yes! Have you ever received testimonies, I'm thinking about Middle East or Chinese, even Russian, it's amazing the success in Russia

M: Yes Russia is unbelievable 

K: So have you received testimonies?

M: Yes, we've got a lot of them in private, also a lot of touchy videos from hundreds of people, you were talking about Russian, I remember of hundreds of Russian doing secret meetings to watch the serie because they can't watch that kind of fiction and, and yeah that's very touchy but it's true that it brings to a really rough reality and we did Skam France for the love of cinema first and now with the message we give,  it's true that it has a big impact and gives us responsibilities that we didn't thought about. And yeah when we see the impact it has like in China, even Corea, you know I lived in Corea and we might thought that it's free but not that much, it's getting better slowly but not that much. So seeing that in all those countries all these people are watching it and taking this message, it's something we didn't imagined. We weren't expecting this

K: We're lucky to have this serie, hopefully it will last. By the way, I don't know, because I know but I don't know if we can say it, I'll do like I didn't knew. You're currently on set?

M: Yes we are but I only acted just a day for now K: The shooting just started?

M: Oh no, it's been shooting for 3 weeks already 

K: Oh okay not a lot

M: Yes it's not a lot but for Skam France it's almost half of the shooting 

K: Oh yeah that's true. How many useful minutes a day?

M: 16-17

K: Wow, and with quality!

M: Yeah with quality!

K: Not a lot of series can afford 17 useful minutes a day! Don't laugh that's true!

M: Haha no you're right that's true

K: And the choices of the team are amazing!

M: Yes and also Xavier director of photography is completely insane, David the director doesn't give up, the actors are so invested. And yeah we're with a passionate team, very young. For most of us it's the first project, it was mine. For David it's also one of his first one. We all want to do something wonderful because it's our first experience, it was my first experience in front of a camera and you want to remember that your whole life and I think that, yes, it's by far the best shooting I ever done for now 

K: A shooting followed by many, became I know the Actors Factory take a lot of time, the Skam France shooting too. And also one of my friends that was on the shooting with you guys

M: He also was there during the shooting of seasons 3 and 4

K: Oh yes but what I understood is that this year his work is more important 

M: I won't say anything!

K: Fuck! I was trying haha! So you lose me I don't remember what I was about to say. Oh yes, I wanted to wish you a good luck for this shooting and I wanted to know if there was new ones?

M: Yes! There's new people coming but...

K: But you can't say who?

M: No I can't say

K: Why?

M: Mostly because, there's someone I won't talk about it

K: Okay 

M: And a project that I won't talk about because I don't want to and I want to work it alone, also another serie but I don't know if I can tell for who or what it is

K: Is it french?

M: It is

K: A hertzian group?

M: Yes

K: Shooting in October, this summer?

M: From January to April

K: So it will come very soon

M: Yes very soon

K: So you'll come back to talk about it then

M: It would be a pleasure!

K: So now we'll talk about the series you picked. First we're going to talk about an amazing serie, and OCS serie called Westworld and the a scene without visual effects but I think you'd like with Anthony Hawkins, a philosophical scene from the first season

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 6: All Souls and Sadists

My thoughts are heading your way.

SPOILERS AHEAD

0:40 - “No as a white man. We’re terrible.” hahaha I hate Martin on principle but that’s hilarious - and somewhat truthful. 

1:00 - Notice how Ainsley and Malcolm have similar facial expressions when talking to their father? They both do this thing where they sort of smile and look at the ground in a “Dad’s crazy” kind of way. It’s almost like they think their Dad is endearing in a very frustrating and dysfunctional kind of way? They also both shake their heads and close their eyes a lot when talking to Martin. Even the tones of voice that they use with Martin is similar. They start speaking to him calmly and softly but they end the conversation angry, frustrated and desperate. You can really tell that they’re siblings. 

2:32 - “It’s not the right one.” How did the car salesman know Malcolm was looking for a specific car? If I were the salesman I would’ve interpreted that as “It’s not the right car for me. What else can you show me?”...and then show Malcolm a used Honda Civic or something.

3:50 - Malcolm is completely losing it. He’s so desperate. You can see how much pain he’s in during this scene. Look how sad his eyes are. You can tell how close to the edge he is. Also - is this foreshadowing? Is this why Malcolm looks so broken in the 1x19 promo pics? Is he going to revert back to his mute, scared 11 year old self?

6:35 - Despite how broken Malcolm looks in Gabrielle’s office, he looks and acts remarkably put together in this scene. He’s calm, rational, and professional. He’s also subdued. 

6:43 - There’s a look that Dani gives Malcolm right here. She’s concerned about him. Rightfully so. His behaviour is wildly out of character. This is maybe the calmest, most serious he’s ever been at a crime scene. 

7:30 - Dang. This woman is OCD and very numb to her husband’s murder. Did she even care about her husband? I mean I know they were getting a divorce but I would be more upset than she is if my neighbour died - and I don’t even talk to him. 

8:20 - Right here. Malcolm just stopped profiling. He’s trapped inside his head. Overwhelmed with empathy for the little boy who just lost his father. Overwhelmed with the realization that this woman and his own mother feels the same way about their children. He and Ainsley are Jessica’s everything. 

8:30 - See this look in Malcolm’s eyes? That sadness and empathy? That’s a good man right there. That’s not a killer. 

9:00 - You know, right off the bat, this kid is off. No child who has been through trauma that recently is comfortable talking that openly and calmly about how they feel (or how their rabbits feel) because they haven’t had time to process how they feel yet. 

9:15 - You know. I feel like the fact that Martin appeared to be such a good dad to Malcolm during the first 10 years of his life really compounded Malcolm’s trauma. It ruined Malcolm’s ability to trust. It ruined Malcolm’s ability to look fondly at his early childhood memories. 

9:46 - Again. This kid is weird. “I think she’s not that sad.” What? What child talks like this less than 24 hours of the death of a parent? He’s calm and articulate in a way children in emotional pain rarely are. It’s strange.

10:35 - I love how Malcolm is interacting with this kid the same way that Gil interacted with him as a kid. Because Gil made Malcolm feel safe when his whole world fell apart and Malcolm wants Isaac to feel safe. It warms my cold, dead heart.

10:55 - Malcolm’s self-deprecating humour is really heartbreaking. 

11:28 - Tell me I’m not the only one whose heart breaks when Malcolm asks Ainsley if she’s okay. It’s something about the way his eyes widen. He looks so concerned for his little sister and I love it. 

11:45 - I love Ainsley BUT the severity of her ambition is a little concerning. However, I don’t blame her. Chances are the only time Jessica ever showed Ainsley any attention (between her alcoholism and worrying about Malcolm) was when Ainsley achieved something extraordinary. Makes me wonder what kind of a student Ainsley was like in school. What kind of extracurriculars did she do as a child? 

12:00 - Jessica’s behaviour in this scene is wildly inappropriate but also completely understandable. She’s so concerned with her children’s well-being. She always is. It’s why she meddles in their lives and tries to order around her adult children as if they’re 10 years old. Her personality in general is a little extreme, cold, and controlling. I’ll say it again - Jessica lost everything except her children when Martin was arrested. If Jess had some true friends who stuck by her then (or now) I bet she would’ve been less of a controlling force in her children’s lives. 

12:46 - Holy crap. Is Malcolm sleeping with that photo? He’s pulling it out everywhere. The car dealership. His psychologist’s office. His Mom’s house. I know he’s in a fragile mental state right now but that level of obsession with a photograph is not healthy. 

13:09 - Has anyone else been trying to figure out what time of year the Surgeon was arrested? So far the flashbacks look too warm to be between November - February (when there’s usually snow) but we’ve also had confirmation that Malcolm was in school. Therefore, it was during the school year. So it was either in September, October, or sometime between late March - early June? I’m thinking it’s probably closer to June because that’s when camping season generally starts? Anyone else have ideas?

14:20 - I’m genuinely surprised Jessica didn’t make Malcolm stay the night after that little outburst. He looks positively terrified. He’s clearly looking off into the distance because he’s hallucinating. You’d think she’d jump on that and keep him at her place for the night. 

15:08 - Martin might be the most dangerous criminal in Claremont because he’s so manipulative. Watch him try to manipulate Stanley. Martin is clearly doing it deliberately. Martin is so desperate for attention that he’ll do and say anything to be the center of attention. He always has an ulterior plan. Ugh....actually it kind of reminds me of a much more extreme version of Ainsley....which is slightly concerning.

17:00 - UGH. Gil why did you have to walk in now? Dani was just about to get Malcolm to talk about what’s bothering him. She was so concerned about Malcolm you could see it on her face. It was beautiful.

17:21 - I love that JT says what we’re all thinking. Where do you get a stat like that? 

18:25 - I wish we could’ve seen the scene where Malcolm has to convince Gil to let him get beat up for a potential sadist. That would’ve fuelled my heart for days....also Tom Payne looks super attractive in this gym outfit. 

20:15 - You know, I don’t think Malcolm is a masochist. I think he’s so depressed and in so much constant emotional pain that sometimes he forgets that his life is important. He forgets that he matters to people. He subjects himself to physical pain because it numbs out the emotional pain. He’s not a masochist - he just needs an escape.

20:49 - There’s Papa Gil. Look how annoyed he is. He totally wants to give Jake a piece of his mind for trying to hurt Malcolm. You can see it. Too bad he won’t because it was technically consensual.  

21:56 - Seriously? How fast is this woman and how quiet is she? Dani looked away for maybe 5 seconds and didn’t hear the woman book it toward her? Nah. I don’t buy it. 

23:00 - Dani is a badass. JT is a total big brother look at how concerned he was for Dani. I love it all. 

23:15 - Proud Gil is everything. <3 

23:45 - This little pep talk that Gil gives Malcolm is precious. Gil is Malcolm’s Dad in all the ways that matter. Look at how concerned Gil is about Malcolm. Gil knows. He knows that Malcolm is spiralling. *sigh* My heart is breaking.

24:10 - Again. Where did JT go? Sometimes JT just disappears in the middle of an episode with no explanation. 

25:15 - “It’s what you say to a kid.” Is it Gil? Because you’ve spent the past twenty years of your life trying to ensure that Malcolm is okay. Why do you think Malcolm is so cut up about Isaac’s current predicament? It’s because Malcolm is trying to be as good a man as you are and he thinks that he’s failing.

26:04 - Why is this dude always half-naked? Seriously. This whole episode he’s shirtless. 

26:21 - Do you think Ainsley dated much in high school? Given the way Jessica is currently treating her boyfriends I can’t imagine that it would’ve been easy for Ainsley to date. 

27:10 - THIS. I feel this. “Everything I know has been coloured by your resentment”. This is real. My Dad was abusive. He left (court-ordered, long story) when I was ten. Everything my brother and I know about our Dad and his past is coloured by our Mom’s resentment. Even though we know he was a bad guy, we still wish we could’ve met the guy that Mom fell in love with. We wish we could have happy stories about his past that aren’t coloured by his mistakes. Ainsley’s reaction here is totally justified. Sometimes you’ll do anything to find the one story that reassures you that your Dad wasn’t a total loser. 

27:36 - “Did you love us?” That one hurt. The real answer is no. He didn’t. He’s a psychopath. He’s incapable. And deep down Ainsley knows that but look at her eyes. You can see how desperately she wants to believe her that her Dad loves her. Ugh. Martin is scum. He’s such a good manipulator. I hate it so much.

32:50 - This whole scene with Malcolm barging into the interrogation room is amazing. I mean I have nothing to point out that isn’t blatantly obvious but holy moly this is a good scene. Makes you wonder if Gil was ever worried about Malcolm becoming like Martin.

37:00 - A wild JT has reappeared.

38:00 - This scene is perfect. The juxtaposition between Bright and Isaac is beautiful. The insight to Malcolm’s childhood is heartbreaking. The empathy on Malcolm’s face is heartwarming. The concern on Gil’s face. You can really see who Malcolm might have become without Gil. 

40:30 - This Gil and Malcolm conversation is perfect. “Not on my watch.” My heart is full.

42:00 - Does Malcolm have any sense of self-preservation? I know he’s desperate but hanging out at a junkyard in the middle of the night is a bad idea. 

Thanks for hanging out. Catch you again soon.

[danahmbisyosangdoktora]

Wow, I’m ten months behind in this supposed “drama list” ??? LOL why did I even try? I should just accept the fact that I am no longer capable of maintaining this blog. Just kidding! Of course... I still have to do this! 

Here’s the many dramas I have watched for the past months I’ve been... away... and working (wew! you know, I’m employed *winks*... but can still watch ofc ofc #asiandramaislife)

NOTE: I’m not gonna include the plot anymore because it takes so much characters and effort. Also I don’t have much luxury of time to rephrase each of them (because we don’t tolerate copy-paste here). I mean I only get them from Wiki! Anyway...

FEBRUARY Let’s Fight Ghost Rating: ★★★★☆ | Moderate plot Country: South Korea Genre: Horror, Mystery, Romantic Comedy No. of Episodes: 16 Thoughts: Watched this because of my number one bae, Kim So-hyun!!! This has been on my list since time immemorial but only decided to watch it this year and month. This is a breather from my usual high school drama (because I so dig this theme/genre) since it includes some uh, supernatural elements. Over-all, it was wrapped up nicely and the drama is such a good mix of different... flavors, be it horror, mystery, romance and comedy... I must say. Finished Watching: February 02, 2019 

Witch’s Love Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Light plot Country: South Korea No. of Episodes:12 Genre: Romantic Comedy, Fantasy Thoughts: I LITERALLY WATCHED THIS BECAUSE I SAW A CLIP ON FB AND THOUGHT THE LEAD ROLE GUY WAS CHANYEOL!!! #clown. It’s my first time to see Yoon So-Hee in a lead role. The last I saw her was in the Ruler: Master of the Mask. The drama is cute! I really ship the main actors!!! It’s kind of confusing in the middle but soon, you’ll get a hang of it... or is it just me?  Finished Watching: February 07, 2019.

SKY Castle Rating: ★★★★★ | Heavy plot Country: South Korea No. of Episodes: 20 + special Genre: Satire, Drama, Black Comedy, Family, School Thoughts: I HAVE NEVER SEEN A DRAMA THIS HEAVY??? Maybe it’s just me?? Coz this is the first time I shifted from the usual mood and age of the actors I watch??? I’ve only been seeing tweets about this drama during it’s airing that said “it’s a must-watch” and the like so I literally got curious and watched it. I don’t remember how exactly I felt during the earlier parts of the drama but I’m sure I never dropped it/delayed it until I was able to keep up with the weekly release of episodes. It’s a total page-turner if it is compared to a book. I really like how it was able to portray the side of education that most people with not-so-obsessed-with-merit-parents don’t understand; the manipulation, the strict competition and the emotional impact it brings to the family ganoin. I love how each family has their own issue and how it all got twisted together (I’m that obsessed with angst). It could really be just me because it’s my first time but I totes recommend!!!!!! Finished Watching: February 11, 2019

On Your Wedding Day (Movie) Rating: ★★ ☆☆☆ | Light plot Country: South Korea Genre: Melodrama, Romance Thoughts: Meh. Just kidding! I watched this during one of my night duties together with my workmate. She was actually the one who’s watching, naki-panood lang ako lol the plot really didn’t appeal to me... or because my attention wasn’t on it full time because I remember we stopped for a moment because I had to work hehe anyway, as someone who fancies... tragedies, it’s nice to see a drama which deviates from the usual happy ending of lead roles.  Finished Watching: February 20, 2019

MARCH Hwayugi Rating: ★★★★☆ | Moderate Plot Country: South Korea No. of Episodes: 20 Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Comedy, Horror Thoughts: I remember watching this because I was in the mood for a supernatural theme.This has been on my list since its release too but only found the mood to watch this month. It’s the right amount of every genre, I love how it turned out. I watched this alongside four other dramas hahaha la lung, just to put it out there. 

I wasn’t able to note what date I exactly finished this though.

Romance is a Bonus Book Rating: ★★★★☆ | Light plot Country: South Korea No. of Episodes: 16 Genre: Comedy, Romance, Life, Drama Thoughts: Watched this when it’s on-going because it’s my number one oppa and nation’s boyfriend, LJS! I was actually surprised he was paired with a noona but ofc ofc, he was able to carry it. I was kilig the entire time! This is actually very close to my heart; aside from it being the last drama of LJS before enlisting, he was actually a Chief Editor!!! He’s really out there outdoing the man of my dreams by taking all roles/professions I like for my man and myself be it a journalist, a doctor, a lawyer/prosecutor and here, an editor. It’s actually not that deep? It focused on how one found love in the middle of career development and adulting. I really admire Jong Suk’s character here because he’s not the type to shove his feelings to the woman and respected whatever decisions she has. Finished Watching: March 29, 2019

Cart (Movie) Rating: ★★★★☆ | Moderate plot Country: South Korea Genre: Life, Drama, Family Thoughts: This was just one of my ‘catching-up-with-EXO-dramas’ moment. Okay, I cried. The plot isn’t perfect but it’s super powerful, it was able to speak volumes. It’s not enough (for a movie) but it was able to talk about the struggle of the working class and was able to show the wicked side of employers and how the upper class together with the media and the government handle situations such as workers’ protest. Just a little eye-opener to those who can’t seem to understand this matter. Finished Watching: March 29, 2019

JUNE Criminal Minds Rating: ★★★★☆ | Moderate plot Country: South Korea No. of Episodes: 20  Genre: Action, Mystery, Detective Thoughts: I was randomly watching tvN via SKY Cable (yes free promo) when I stumbled upon its episode 12. My mom joined me and we got hooked and curious, she asked me to search for the drama so we can watch it from the start. I think this was the first time that I watched an investigative drama. Not sure if Terius Behind Me and Strong Woman Bong Soon count so this was probably a first. Also, based on my little research, there are cases incorporated in the drama that actually happened in real life in Korea. I really love this! Finished Watching: June 09, 2019

Her Private Life Rating: ★★★★★ | Light plot Country: South Korea No. of Episodes: 16 Genre: Comedy, Romance Thoughts: I HAVE NEVER RELATED TO A DRAMA SO BAD AS I DID HERE!!! Of course, it’s a fangirl’s story!!! This was a bit anticipated by stan twitter and I’m one of them. Watched this while it’s on-going. Although the fangirl life was put aside in the middle of the plot to give way for the romance, I was glad someone thought of making a drama out of a fangirl’s perspective. I must say, Deok Mi is one hell of a fangirl! I can only dream of being on her level. Of course, that’s understandable because her character is a masternim.

To conclude my thought on this drama in two words: SANA ALL! Finished Watching: June 10, 2019

Put Your Head On My Shoulders Rating: ★★★★☆ | Light plot Country: China  No. of Episodes: 24 Genre: Youth, School, Romance, Comedy Thoughts: My coming-of-age and high school romance fix! This was one of the many “Facebook made me watch this” because again, I saw a clip of this drama on FB and got curious so I watched it! Haha I seriously can make a list of this sort though. I was lucky to be able to catch it while it’s on-going hahaha so much for #TeamOnGoing. It’s cute, tamang kilig ba. Finished Watching: June 21, 2019

It’s not a lot because I only watch whenever I’m off duty, whenever I get off from work or whenever I can squeeze it during work hours while waiting for blood work he he he 

Some people ask how I manage watching this lot. 

Answer: just watch a lot. 

The past months, I realize I’ve been watching a minimum of five dramas at the same time. Since most of the dramas I watch are all on-going, it’s not that hard to watch all of them. I watch either which ever drama updates first or what I feel watching first. Actually, each drama has their own schedules naman... one drama I watch either updates on Wed/Thu, another Thu/Fri then one on Fri/Sat and so on kaya it’s really not that hard. It’s also the reason why I get to watch completed dramas because each episodes only run for maximum of 1 hour and 30 minutes so let’s say, 4 on-going dramas with 2 episode-updates wont really take a day for me to finish. Remember, we have seven days in a week! So while waiting for the on-going dramas to update, that’s when I watch the completed ones. I only mentally schedule my on-going and completed dramas so I can watch them all equally and just in time when I can still retain what happened on the last episode I left off. Pero there are also times when I like the completed drama so much, I finish it in two days. I stopped finishing dramas in 24hrs because I have commitment issues, ayoko yung iniiwan ako agad cHAROT HAHAHA ANUDAW 

Anyway, ayun lang naman! Let’s see each other again for the other half of this year’s Drama List!

[ytsthepodcast]

Infinite Consciousness Could Be Predetermined As Energy (#20)

Infinite consciousness could be predetermined as energy, which is never created or destroyed, which kind of lends to reincarnation. But that might be another thing, but definitely what we do in life. And those set milestones, you know, get a diploma, get a job, get a big house, nice car. Having the awareness that there is life and certainly something that you can look into things.

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        Did you hear the last episode with Bobby Tester? The Biggest Obstacles In The Culture Of Toughness And Self-Sufficiency (#19)

            LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE

  Is the D.A.R.E. program good for America's kids (K-12)?

The 5 big lies that D.A.R.E. told you about drugs.

David Icke

David Icke is an English writer and public speaker, known since the 1990s as a professional conspiracy theorist

David is the author of over 21 books, 10 DVDs and has lectured in over 25 countries, speaking live for up to 10 hours to huge audiences, filling stadiums like Wembley Arena.

        Wanna get heard on Your Transformation Station? Leave us an audio review here.

      SHOW NOTES

How our social upbringing plays an impact on complacency.

It's when you're at the lowest frequency and we're soaking up informationSubliminal messaging in television shows.

The problem with the DARE program.

And much more.

      Interested in getting on the show?

      Previous Episode

Should You Feel Ashamed For Wanting To Kill Yourself? The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. But if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, you need to know that you're not alone. The Biggest Obstacles In The Culture Of Toughness And Self-Sufficiency (#19)

        Transcription

  You have to have a definition of success. If I could go back, this does not mean things that I would go back for, but what do you do when you lose your purpose? It's okay to struggle. It's okay. That you're not okay. I am your host Craig for Vasa together. We will go on a journey. The show is all about surpassing our internal dialogue.

We discovering. The true identity in new foresight, we have a chance to make the world a better place for our chip. Starting leaning in the example today and become your future self tomorrow. If you can leave our viewers with some good advice to follow, what would you let them know? These things that you're afraid to do?

Go boom.

  We're tapping into surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern-day and honing in on new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance. You never knew this is your transformation station with your host, Greg Abaza.

Then, the military gave me this fire inside, and lately, I just feel like I've been struggling to keep it ignited. I'm pretty sure it's probably not so much the fire that they instilled in you as much as it is the fire that you already have, that they help jar out. You already have that power and that flare and drive.

It's just that being put in that situation drew it out of you more than it would if you will like a regular citizen, the situation that I've noticed. Okay. I'm an introvert. However, you put me into a situation where I have men that are below me waiting to react to my command. I can, I completed one 80 into an extrovert, all a passion, anger, and frustration to deliver the very best I can be for them.

  And that is wood is something that I don't because you want them to be able to obtain the frequency that you have got to. You want to draw out in them the same way things which are not in you. Which still means that they have that fire in them. But in this scenario with you as a leader, you draw that fire that's in them up to the surface.

And that is within the regimen. It's in command is taking orders and following tasks. Nate, welcome to your transformation station. How are you doing brother? I'm great. Thanks for having me. What's that with you when you do it right now. Now right now, I am trying to find out where I'm going in life. And, uh, obviously I'm doing this podcast with you.

  It's really relatable. Like what are we doing with our lives? I was dunno, man. I fell out. Most people just go day to day and never think it through like wake up and react to the day rather than planning it out. Exactly. That's all people do. They let things happen in set up, making it happen themselves. What do you think that complacency it's taught through childhood up until school?

You know, the entire indoctrination of the system is kind of why most people are where they are now. So it's like an industrialized mindset. Hasn't left. That they're still, it still carries over because it's enforced through school such as we were taught to just obey, listen, learn, and then go to college, then get a job, get married, and then die.

Exactly. It is. This sounds miserable when you say it out loud, that is, that is. Um, it's what you make of it to a certain extent, but it starts from before school, you have parents, for example, that will transition the knowledge of the system. They were taught to their newborn baby babies to toddlers young children before they even get the chance to go to school or kindergarten or whatever it may be, keep going.

  Okay. So for example, we are taught from an early age, that dreams are not real. So if a young child has a nightmare or a bad dream, it's put down to be in a boogie man under the bed, or, you know, Oh, it's just a dream. It wasn't real. But keep in mind, this is some of the most influential ears of your life.

It's when you're at the lowest frequency around that four Hertz range and we're soaking up information. And it's all coming from parents that have been felt through the system and a system through technology, through phones, tablets, TVs. Um, that has become a surrogate parent of sorts to children because they spend so much time watching television and soaking up all of this information.

Not realizing that it's not organic and it's preprogram prescheduled pre-installed is all decoded and they're recounted into saying a child's show. And then it's broadcast and the child was soaking up all that information, not knowing whether it's positive or negative because their young brains are too young and underdeveloped to process that from wrong.

  So are you saying subliminal messaging in children's shows? Exactly. Can you elaborate on that? Um, I mean, I wouldn't say it's necessarily a child show, but the Simpsons have, let's say, had its fair share of interest in the media over the last few years. Um, they predicted a lot, you know, obviously Donald Trump's presidency, the nine 11 incident we had happened here in America, um, is being installed into personal homes.

You know, they've polluted to quite a lot of stuff. I can pick that up in a second. As far as indoctrinated of what our family values are, what our parents believe. How did you come to understand that is what's happening today in America? Well, here's the thing. Um, being able to, and being allowed to are two separate things.

Most children won't venture out because they're afraid of what their family, their peers or say. And when you're a young child, you have more fear of both Dorothy than certain people do as they progress through life. But. When all is said and done, the child was told not to put the curve and the hands in the cookie jar, normally of the children that end up doing it and have a face full of crumbs.

  I don't know if you're familiar with the dare program. It stands for drug abuse, something. I can't remember the exact words I have to look that up and then I'll enter in the show notes, but the whole point of it is to teach children that drugs are bad. It's like, if you smoke weed, you are Brian to smoke other drugs.

You will pretty much, the backfire as well, they tried weed. Oh, I didn't end up homeless. Okay. So let's try it. Let's try some heroin. Let's try some, let's try some crack. It just kept going. And they were like, well, fuck, they didn't plan that. So would it relate to what you're saying? Or is this a completely deeper topic that I'm going on too?

So I think with drugs is subjective to an addictive personality and it depends on why someone would use weed, um, would lean into whether they were more prone to, or not try other drugs, have a harder, more chemical substance. Is let's face it, not everyone that smokes cannabis ends up being a method.

  It's just not known plus cannabis hasn't as far as I'm still aware, ever had a recorded history of death in human history. So, and obviously math, cocaine, heroin opium, all of these other things they can kill and they have, and they will, I think the tobacco industry. Is also fighting that, wow, it's not death from a cigarette.

It's cancer that is caused by proxy. Yes. Cell killing people left-right. And center every day. Doesn't change. Let's go back. You've said the child being brought up at a certain frequency. What do you mean by frequency? So when you are born and you're out of the worm, As, you know, a child's head is not the same size as an adult head, which means, you know, the brain is softer and more vulnerable, I guess, to young babies.

That's why, you know, people take extra care with babies over a 13-year-old boy, for example. Um, and with that, The brain, as it evolves and grows gains mass, as well as soaking up all this information. And so I guess the frequency that I was pertaining to is when you are a certain age between. One and four you're around a lower Hertz frequency range, um, like radio waves for G wifi, um, and information that you process through the senses.

You know, the smell, touch, airing, taste, all of this pertains to what a child will learn. So basically. If they're exposed to the good things that those senses can pick up, then they're going to have a headstart over someone who is born into negativity. I'm a broken home. Uh, parents are, it did to a substance of some kind, um, abused being shown.

  Some things on television aren't appropriate for that age range. But most importantly, I think it's what the child sees outside of the home as well because that's another thing that they decode different than say, someone of older age, because someone that say 13, that's been to school and being a part of the programming.

We'll see. Mainly the programming outside of the score outside of the family hub. It's. Pre-installed whereas a young child, they don't have a bad experience with the outside world and they haven't been indicted translated yet. So they decode it differently than someone older say, decode, I'm referring to the way they perceive things.

The way they look at the world and everything in it. They look at the world in a more your perspective, something that caught my ear. Uh, it was, uh, Broke up was prime. It made me want to think of prime, a decode Prince sold. Maybe these children are being primed or something it's preemptive. Yes. Yeah. Now, what do you think people in societies actually being primed for?

  To answer. Some of this is to open up a real big hole and it's kind of endless. So you have to first acknowledge the separation of self and everything else that isn't the self. So when you say what splits up a person's life, pretty much from their true calling, you have. You know, for me, Nate, that works at the store and it's Nate at the store.

That's what people say. But the real stuff isn't even bound to Kara tourist steaks or the true South. Isn't the body I'm in. It's more of infinite consciousness now. Yeah. Again, I've been inspired by David Ike for years. And a lot of this, I have picked up from him and when I was younger, I really didn't understand it.

But nowhere near as much as I'm starting to now. And he just described the life that we lead as an experience, we are infinite consciousness, living, and experience, and infinite, conscious snares could be predetermined as energy, which is never created or destroyed. Which kind of lends to reincarnation, but that might be another thing, but definitely what we do in life.

  And those set milestones, you know, get a diploma, get a job, get a big house, nice car, have a family and kids that are nice. And that's certainly something that is good and you can look into it, but the true meaning of life and this is where it gets kind of dark there. Isn't one. It is purely what you make of a miraculous existence that you've been thrown into because no one's ever asked to be born.

They just are. But the energy for that existence is drawn from somewhere. Yes. There's conception, childbirth, all the Scientifics that you can apply to it. But if you look so much. Deeper than what may as science and that alone has a lot of gravitas. Me as science. Science is a base Foundry for everything pretty much.

But if you look further than science and just, you know, an egg or sperm and, you know, contraceptive, not contraception, um, conceiving, then you really start to look way deeper, a lot deeper. Like the chicken before the egg, which came birth and still no one really has the definitive answer to that thing.

  Now that is really interesting in who is David Eick. David Ike is someone that actually was born and raised, not too far from where I lived in England. A car thinks quite off the top of my head where it's from. It might have been, sorry, maybe Norfolk. But I was born in Leicester, share, raised in a little town called Burbage.

And I think the sky was like maybe an hour or two in a car away from where I live my whole life growing up. So now it just took a wild turn. What are you doing in America? So I actually met a girl that I knew online, did the whole internet date in thing. And between her and my wanting to leave England because of everything I had seen that growing up and I felt like there was never really a good Avenue for me to branch out into not many job opportunities, really, not a lot of anything.

There are all the manufacturing jobs were closing down because England had been in a recession for many years. And there was just no room for growth there. So between meeting her and the potential of life over here and my wanting to leave, that was kind of where that came from. Do you tell me you met a girl off tender protocol now it was back in 2013, 2014?

I believe to leave England. Yeah, the pursuit of happiness. I guess. So you, you don't have any family here, you met a girl online and you just said you're the one I'm I'm a nappy. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. It was, uh, she, uh, she came to visit England before we left. Wow. Yeah. She originally went to Wales and then came them, I say, over to England, depending if you're wild shot, now it's the same place.

  But, um, yeah, when we got together and did our little thing and you know, and we, I came over on a visa originally and then, uh, transitioned through that, paid my dues to the government, got an old uncle. Sam's got to have his current right. And, uh, basically here I am still living in America and all my paperwork up to date.

Don't come to get me and we are all good. So we did you come here on a temporary visa for a little bit, and then somehow had to go back and then the chick that you're seeing go back to Anglin. And then from there, you decided to. So originally how that was meant to play out as I was meant to go back after six months and it never happened because we got married.

Yeah. And in the state of Missouri, if you do that, it waivers the visa. Apparently, this sounds like one big green card thing going on here, but it's not a problem. Let's, let's rewind. And let's what got you into understanding how our minds pick up neuro. Would that be the frequency in our brains that is being delivered out?

  And how did you come upon this information? I think I figured it out at a very young age, probably around. Doris says four or five. And basically what that pertains to was I looked at things differently than all the others is in my classes. And I'm not really sure why, but they were so focused on doing this paperwork and pleasing the teacher.

And I would just sit there thinking about all the things taken in the day before, or. You know, little things, you know, like out of the window in the school. And I guess that's one of the reasons why they labeled me as like special needs kid in school is they put me on a statement soon after I didn't really perform to their standard in the classroom.

And, uh, it kinda just snowballed from there, but I was never really into the whole, you know, Being a part of the mainstream, even as a little child, I didn't really know what it was back then, but I knew it didn't feel right. And like, guess everything I did from that point on was more self-discovery than letting myself be in a cog in the system.

  When you say self-discovery, were you something that, that happened later on in life and you kind of just blown with the system, but lived in a different realm? Perse, you know, for me, Nate, that works at the store and it's Nate at the store, that's what people say. But the real self isn't even down to characteristics of the true self isn't, the body I'm in, it's more of infinite consciousness now.

Yeah, again, I've been inspired by David Ike for years. And a lot of this I have picked up from him and when I was younger, I really didn't understand it that nowhere near as much as I'm starting to now. And he described the life that we lead as an experience, we are infinite consciousness, living experience and.

Infinite consciousness could be predetermined as energy, which is never created or destroyed, which kind of lends to reincarnation. But that might be another thing, but definitely what we do in life. And those set milestones, you know, Get a diploma, get a job, get a big house, nice car. Having the awareness that there is life and certainly something that you can look into things.

  But the meaning of that, we don't, this is where it gets kind of dark hole there. Isn't one. I think we can understand that is surely having a love of Mirage likes this instinct to, or how do we think no one's ever asked to be born. They just are, but the energy for that resistance is drawn from somewhere that happened in the past, conception, childbirth, all the Scientifics that you can apply to it.

But if you look well so much deliberate science and alone has a lot of gravitas. Mia science, science is a base Foundry for everything pretty much. But if you look further than science and just, you know, an egg or sperm and, you know, contraceptive, not contraception, I'm conceiving, then you really start to look way deeper, a lot deeper by the book before the day.

Yeah. And still, no one really has the definitive answer to that of think. Now that. Really, I'll be sure to link a bit. First off I have five or who is David? David. Ike is someone that actually was born and raised, not too far from where I lived in England. Uh, coughing quite off the top of my head where he's from it.

  Might've been sorry. Maybe Norfolk. But I was born in Leicester, share, raised in a little town called Burbage. And I think the sky was like maybe an hour or two and a car away from where I live my whole life growing up.

What are you doing in America? So I actually met a girl that I knew online, did the whole internet date in thing. And between her and my wanting to leave England because of everything that I had seen that growing up. And I felt like there was no right branch out because. Yeah. Or to challenge somebody let's say knowledge would have another lens.

England had been in a recession and there was no room for growth there. So between meeting her and the potential of life over here and my wine to leave, that was kind of why that came. Can you tell me, you meant girl?

It was Facebook. Oh, Facebook. Yeah. Back in 2013, 2014, I believe. And that was your primary driver? Yeah, the pursuit of happiness, I guess. Very well, but

  you don't have any family here? Is that a girl? You're the one. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. It was a share. She came to visit England before we laughed. It seems like no, everybody's she originally went, nobody's going to step outside their own, say over to England, depending if you're wild Shaw, now it's the same place.

But, um, yeah, when we got together and did our own little thing and you know, and we came over on a visa originally and then, uh, transitioned through that, paid my dues to the government, got an old uncle. Sam's got to have his current right. And, uh, basically here I am still living in America and all my paperwork's up to date.

Don't come to get me and we are all good with it. So I'm going to go off.

We did you come here on a temporary visa or a little bit, and then somehow had to go back and then the kick that your theme. Go back to Anglin. And then from there, you decided to come back. Yeah. So originally how that was meant to play out as I was meant to go back after six months and it never happened because we got married.

  Yeah. And in the state of Missouri, if you do that, it waivers the visa apparent. This sounds like one big green card thing going on here, but it's not a promise. No, no, I'm curious. I heard this story. Well, what was the girl's name? Uh, wow. She went by many names on a real name's Jess in the note. What's the last name, but I'll be sure to edit this out.

Alright, bringer. Yeah, no, cause it blows my mind. Because I don't know. I was talking to the girl. It's all starting to take a picture of when we originally started out children being a blank canvas, all their parents' values passed down onto them, whether they want that or not. Is based on it indoctrination, that's the beginning process, the moment.

  And they have the self-realization to know that they're worth more and can do more. Most people find that when they're at the lowest place in life and they will question, why am I here? What am I doing? Where will I end up? It's kind of like how people in an interview will say, where do you see yourself in five years from now?

Now, um, they're talking about the system, the construct in the workplace, the real self-discovery of why you'll be years to come can only be unlocked three around self-realization. And I think a part of that is revisiting past events. I'm looking at where you are currently and having that movement, that plan, that regime to progress for the, as an individual.

Cause I have so many cons there are so many things that are going through my head that I want to take this. As far as we reach self-actualization between age 35 to 45 or even never. And that's for somebody who. Takes the appropriate steps to learn their own image that they carry. And also who others perceive them as, because what we think about ourselves and what people perceive us are two different identities.

And once we

Marker

reach that self-actualization, we understand those two factors plus our purpose, our direction, and our vision in life. And that's how we define meaning. When we come to that ultimate question. What is the meaning of life that there's so much work behind that? And that's what we have to do. We have to put in the work nature, want to leave our audience with anything?

Yeah, I would basically say no matter how you feel, when you wake up in the morning, take a second to quiet your thoughts. Don't reach straight for the farm. Don't turn on the television thing to yourself. What would I like to achieve today, analyze to yourself if it's possible and how much you can port of yourself and that effort that you have?

Into that plan. And even if you don't succeed, you do everything you can to make it happen. Because like I said before, I have everything to gain from trying and everything to lose from not trying. So no matter how bleak it may seem in the day and in the moment take life by the horns and you don't know necessarily is it's going to lead, but it'll lead somewhere and somewhere is always better than nowhere.

Nate. I appreciate you coming on to your transformation station for this weekly uplift. Absolutely man. Thank you for having me. You've been listening to your transformation station, rediscovering your true identity and purpose on this planet. We hope you enjoyed the show and we hope you've gotten some useful and practical information.

Join us weekly on Monday for the YTS challenge and biweekly on Wednesday for the exclusive interviews at 8:00 PM central time. In the meantime, connect with us on Facebook and

Instagram at. Y T S the podcast we'll be back soon until then this is your transformation station signing off.

  Check out this episode!

[zeebient]

Since I’m pretty sure we’ve reached the climax point in our dystopian novel that 2020 has made us into and we’re currently in the defund and reform the policing system phase, I wanted to offer some insight how it could be better/why it’s so fucked up because I went through a whole schooling program that taught me that exact thing.

For clarification, when I was in high school I wanted to take as much law related classes as possible because a want to become a lawyer (currently that whole plan in on hold bc my mental health took a dive and college is expensive) but anyway one option I had was a vocational school that worked with my high school had programs you could take to learn trades and skills in your junior and senior years, attending the vocational school for half the school day with students from other schools in the county. They had a program for security & law enforcement that was sort of a catch all law related type jobs with a vague focus on policing. So everyone in the class either wanted to do some sort of forensic science, being a lawyer, or general security/police stuff and that’s what we learned.

First thing I can definitely tell you that’s messed up is that I spent more time being trained than rookie officers. To become an officer, you have to at minimum have a high school degree, most departments don’t require any college degree, you then have to apply and pass a police academy exam in get in. Once you get in police academy is approximately 26-weeks (5-6 months) of training. 12 weeks of that is in field training with a senior officer and then their test is basically the instructor being with them on patrol one day and seeing how they did and then they’re on their own as a fully fledged police officer.

GUYS, my program was 2 YEARS. Kids graduating high school should not have more training that doesn’t even give them any authority after completing the course than PROFESSIONALS. 

A big part of my class was constantly critiquing any form of policing/law related work that we saw. We would purposely sit down with worksheets that would be referencing what we we’re watching and asking either in general what they were doing a wrong/right and at certain points we had to specific watch out for certain things. Then we would review and talk and re-watch and suggest better approaches to the situation. We did this with both fictional and non-fictional police shows, in order clear up common misconceptions from crime shows, as well as reviewing cold cases that were rampant with mistakes.

One thing we watched was a show called ROOKIES (2008), that followed rookie police officers during their 12 week field training. It only had 16 episodes, and for a very good reason. It followed two different police departments training, one of which was completely awful. The one I’m talking about out of the two is Jefferson Parish from Louisiana and you’ll understand in a sec. Both the senior officers and the trainees were blatantly sexist and racist toward one another and they straight up caught them abusing their authority on camera. One of the training officers hit someone’s car and on the official report they blamed the VICTIM. It gets worse because there was a rookie who was just really bad at being a cop and I’m pretty sure he went through field training twice, which is an option if you fail it, and he wasn’t ready at all but they passed him.

The show then does a follow up after, and this dude’s follow up was the worst. He was shot and killed the first day on duty, on his own. They shouldn’t have ever passed him, it was so obvious that he wasn’t competent but they did it anyway. He was engaged to be married with a kid on the way at 21. The worst part was that in the first episode he points to some plaques on the wall not knowing what they were and said he wanted to be up there with the other officers. Those officers were killed in action and that’s exactly what happened. The police academy’s gross incompetence ended any desire for the crew to continue filming.

We did this same thing with news articles, where each week we individually found one and typed up a summary and opinion on a crime related article, then read and discussed it with the class.

We did a project to create our own police departments, including, budgeting, district distribution of officers,job requirements/positions. Our teacher straight up told us that our presentations had more requirements for the positions than in real life.

We learned how to read, interpret and apply the state penal code books. We had daily worksheets about specific laws and we had write a response on how it applied in a given scenario.

My one teacher was a certified hunter & safety instructor and took several week to teach us in detail guns responsibility for what’s normally a 5 hour course required for a gun permit and then had us take the actual test.

We had an international defense training expert teach us defense tactics, the first thing before that happened,we had a lesson talking about what parts of the body are vulnerable/bad to touch/fatal. Head and neck was a big red automatic bad zone, don’t do that. We learning disarmed, deescalation, proper form and tactics, distance to maintain. So much stuff I haven’t seen being applied lately. 

It’s just the bare minimum of some of the stuff I’ve learned, and there’s so much more. We even learned policing history. I know I had some great teachers but it’s just so awful that in reality that professionals aren’t even doing half of what was done for my class and that it’s a small minority. Send me asks, i’ll tell you all the stuff I learned about the dark shit that my teacher were blunt about like police domestic violence and the toxic mental health culture. There’s so much to go through and It’s been clogging up my brain.  

[waltoncreek]

welcome to walton creek, iris ! i see you’re twenty-one and look a lot like odeya rush. i’m sure you’ll adjust to your new home in no time. don’t forget to check the after acceptance checklist. you have 24 hours to send in your account.

𝒐𝒐𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

name/alias, age, timezone: hannah, 19, pst

preferred pronouns: she/her

𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

character: iris (she doesn’t have a canon one but i’ve used de luca before)

faceclaim: odeya rush (or kaylee bryant or danielle campbell if you prefer…) i’m still not 100% sold on a fc choice, but i think i’m gonna have odeya as my first option

age: 21 (since buffy’s being played as 19 and iris is two grades ahead)

brief description of the character: 

iris was a character i latched onto fairly quickly back when i watched andi mack. i’m not sure why, given she was only around for a couple of episodes, but sometimes it just happens to be those side characters that grab your attention and hold on tight. she’s the little ray of sunshine to her best friend’s relative cruelties.

she’s a girl whose best friend is one of the most popular girls at their high school, with the cool boyfriend a grade below them. iris on the other hand, she’s not sure about the whole boys and dating thing, but when she sees cyrus pointed out across the room, and amber offers to introduce them, she decides to just try out a conversation or two.

amber seems to like the idea of her getting a boyfriend. “FINALLY!” amber all but shrieks when they text later that night after cyrus takes iris to the dinosaur museum and they share their first kiss. iris loves spending time with cyrus, they had so much in common, from their fascination with dinosaurs to their mutual admiration for gift shops and shakespeare plays… the fun she had, that’s what liking someone like that feels like… right? she just decided it must be, that this sense of similarity, shared interests, shared sense of humor, this was what amber always seemed to latch onto… right?

she assumed so, and so she had herself a boyfriend. the relationship doesn’t last long, especially given what happened when he came over to watch the movie… and while she’s a bit disappointed to be broken up with, she certainly understands. they weren’t right for each other, for more reasons than she knew at the time. they were able to remain friends of course, especially given their similarities, the things that made him seem like a good idea for a first boyfriend to begin with.

it became more apparent with another relationship of hers that she just… was more romantically interested in a certain blonde girl who was meant to be her best friend than she ever was in her boyfriend. she ended that relationship with the boy who while upset that she was done with the relationship that had helped his social status, he never behaved angrily with her. not even when iris came out to him as a lesbian a few months later, properly sealing their friendship as distant from their old relationship with a kiss on the cheek. she told amber later, after her feelings were resolved, and they remained the best of friends. cyrus actually was just about the first person iris came out to, the pair had become rather close by the time he entered high school during her junior year, and she trusted him more than anyone with something such as this secret she was holding onto in her heart.

as high school ended for iris, she followed amber to los angeles, taking community college classes. she wanted to do school the right way, but she wasn’t ready to live in a dorm when she could stay in an apartment with her best friend. this was their life until iris got cast in a large scale local theatre company, playing ophelia in hamlet. it was a dream come true, to obsess over the genre with others with similar passions. while it was far from the science degree she was planning to pursue, it was truly incredible and she switched into more literature and history classes following the production.

after graduation from ucla where she transferred after getting her associates, doing theatre brought her to new york city for an off-broadway show, a jukebox musical based on a modern adaptation of you guessed it – hamlet. it’s just after closing night of the show that she wakes up in this whole new place, walton creek, and does her best to settle into a new home.

i should of course say that this is all very much just all my personal headcanons beside her having the short lived relationship with cyrus and them having common interests, since the girl was barely in the show, but i am excited to potentially explore her more thoroughly in this group!

what they think of being sent to walton creek: iris is sort of excited to be somewhere new, she grew up in such a small town, shadyside, and while l.a. and new york city were exciting for her, she’s sort of ready for a fresh start now that her show is done with. she’s more than a little bit confused about why on earth she woke up somewhere she’s never been, but that’s okay. she likes to try to find an answer to everything, or she did while she was growing up anyway, but she’s content for the moment in the newness of it all. though she admittedly hopes to find some familiar faces from back home in shadyside.

𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚

favorite disney movie: honestly, i’m not sure right now. i have a huge amount of love for the disney princess movies, as well as dcoms tbh (though my guess is that these couple of questions are about the classics moreso)… also hercules and its’ musical numbers will always have a special place in my heart

favorite disney character: what i’m coming up with right now is my childhood fave disney princess aka aurora / sleeping beauty / briar rose. she was just the blonde beautiful kind hearted human i wanted to be when i was small.

favorite disney song: lately i’ve admittedly been obsessed with sofia carson’s “ciclo sin fin” aka the circle of life for the spanish version of the lion king

𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆?

i have a pinterest board for her HERE… not all that pretty or organized yet but it exists!

[armyvetswife]

My 2 Cents worth on Faith, Time Travel and the “Failure to Communicate”

At the danger of getting "yelled at", I freely admit that I wasn't too fond of Lee Min-ho's character (Gu Jun-Pyo) in 'Boys over Flowers'. If you've read my very first "2 Cents worth" you'll know that I was rooting for Jan-Di to end up with Yoon Ji-Hoo. But while I was browsing through pictures of some of my favorite Kdrama stars on Pinterest, I just happened to come across a picture of Lee Min-ho that immediately caught my attention. I prefer the historical and fantasy Kdramas and that picture appeared to be from one of those.

Usually, I pick which movies or series' to watch based on whether or not they star any of my favorites, but since Lee Min-ho hadn't ranked in that "favorites" category for me yet, I had overlooked this particular series. Took me awhile to find it too, since people on Pinterest have a bad habit of posting pictures without any kind of descriptions. Yet on the other hand, that is sometimes also a "blessing in disguise" because I found several Kdramas and also Cdramas worth watching, that I might not have noticed if it hadn't been for having to spend a few hours, trying to match a picture to a name.

So, in this case, Lee Min-ho's picture led me to the Kdrama 'Faith' and I have to say that it took me less than 2 full episodes to add Lee Min-ho to my "favorites" list. Absolutely LOVE him in the role as the King's bodyguard, Choi Young, and it's a difference as night and day to the character of Gu Jun-Pyo.

Now, for some reason, 'Faith' has received several rather "lukewarm" reviews, which I really don't understand. For me personally, it ranks right up in the top 5 on my ever-growing list of favorite Kdramas. I loved the time-travel aspect in 'Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo' (still holding out hope for a season 2 on that one), and 'Faith' has a similar story-line....though with the added possibility of being able to travel back and forth through time...and a (in my opinion) more satisfying ending.

But getting back to Lee Min-ho for a moment where, in 'Boys over Flowers' I felt the urge several times to kick or smack Gu Jun-Pyo, while in 'Faith' I just wanted to hug Choi Young whenever he was faced with the difficult choice between his duty as bodyguard, protecting the King, or protecting Eun Soo (the female plastic surgeon he brought back from the 21st century to save the Queen). Absolute kudos to Lee Min-ho for the way he portrayed the character of Choi Young, especially in scenes where his duty as the King's bodyguard forced him to kill adversaries.

Min-ho was able to perfectly convey the reluctance with which Choi Young fulfilled his promise to protect the King (and also the Queen), and as the story progresses this reluctance becomes more and more obvious.  The meaning of the "sword getting too heavy" seemed to have eluded some people, judging by a few snide comments I read, but of course everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Mine is that 'Faith' is a wonderful story and most definitely worth watching and I would love to see Lee Min-ho in more historical Kdramas.

One more thought....is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that there seems to be one common aspect in ALL of the Kdramas (and the Cdramas I've watched too) and that would be the "failure to communicate". In every movie and series I've watched so far, the characters talk to each other all the time, BUT NOBODY ever says WHAT they need to say, WHEN they need to say it! Have you ever yelled at the TV (or whatever device you're binge-watching on) "Tell her that you love her!" or "Tell him that you love him!", because it's so obvious that they're in love and it's driving you nuts that they just won't say it? How many misunderstandings could be avoided if people would just say WHAT they should say, WHEN they should say it? But I guess that's what "drama" is all about and what keeps us glued to our screens....ironically, since many of us probably have enough real-life drama to deal with in our own lives, and even more ironically often caused by the same kind of a "failure to communicate".