#just wanted to make an icon of Autism crime

[blasterb0t]

Kitty meow

[rad-batson]

Hi I'm rewatching Psych (2006) and have found some glaring similarities between Shawn Spencer and Bruce Wayne:

This is very important research. Do not scroll >:(

Bruce Wayne and Shawn Spencer

Not Your Average Detective TM

Works with the local police department, solves crimes in the most illegal way possible

Definitely needs to see a therapist, literally would rather die

Puts on an elaborate show to lie about his identity but he really doesn’t need to be that dramatic about it???? Calm down 🤨

Barely one step above a silly cartoon character, but it is very close

Has a father figure who constantly vocalizes they did not raise him like this while also cleaning up his messes (with love, of course. And sarcasm)

Autistic Swag. Unmedicated.

Hyper-observant with incredible deductive reasoning skills to the point that others are convinced he has supernatural abilities

✨ Breaking and entering ✨

Sleeps in his man cave more than in his actual bed

Homoerotic tension with a grumpy salt-and-pepper detective (if you squint)

Has a psychotic mortal enemy who insists they’re friends despite attempting to kill his family members on several occasions through fun little games and riddles

Owns a business

Wants to lie down and take a nap but if he does then he’ll be left alone with his thoughts so he instead performs dangerous acts of heroism, knowing full well that said dangerous acts do not promise a paycheck

COMMITS TO THE BIT

Way smarter than he publicly lets on

Wanted in several foreign countries, probably

His best friend is both tired of his shit and constantly enabling his weird antics despite having a serious day job because they know he is Much Worse when left unsupervised and they are secretly also just as unhinged

Has mad sexual tension with a concerning amount of criminals

Casually tries to walk off a bullet wound, worrying everyone

Lives in a major coastal city with perpetually constant weather conditions and a surprisingly high crime rate

Bisexual, Canon Be Damned

And yet the straight ship? Still Iconic

Uses his ditzy, flamboyant playboy image to simultaneously protect his biggest secret and hide his deeply scarring childhood trauma

Is babygirl

Bruce Wayne

Orphan

Outwardly has a dark, pessimistic outlook on life

Secretly hopeful and would do anything to make his loved ones happy

Won't shoot a gun but will beat the crap out of you

Bats on everything

Lives on the East Coast

Actually has Autism AND ADHD but his sidekick has more ADHD, making him the default Autism solidarity

Has health insurance

Shawn Spencer

Child of divorce

Outwardly hopeful and would do anything to make his loved ones happy

Secretly has a dark, pessimistic outlook on life

Doesn't know hand-to-hand combat but is a great shot

Pineapples on everything

Lives on the West Coast

Actually has ADHD AND autism but his sidekick has more Autism, making him the default ADHD solidarity

Does not have health insurance

YES THIS WAS VERY NECESSARY THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

Feel free to add stuff if you also love Psych :D I'm on my third rewatch now

[the-batcomputer-project]

Batfamily (and other) Headcanons that will be canon in my DC timeline:

-Dick is Pansexual. Show me this man in romantic relationships with more than just woman. I also feel like he has potential to be a sex positive icon which I feel is important. Sex portrayed as something that can be fun and casual, not explicitly reserved for romantic partners and situations.

(edited to rephrase and remove offensive language towards the pan community)

-Jason is Asexual. Get some ace representation but also give him some healthy romantic relationships where sex is not the center or a necessity. (I’m partial to Jason/Roy but to each their own)

-Jon Kent is dyslexic. Insert Percy Jackson reference about his brain being wired for kryptonian, but no, the dyslexia comes from Lois.

-Jason was absolutely theater kid before his death who managed to get the lead role almost every time, and somehow maintained a healthy schedule of theater rehearsals, good grades, and patrols.

-building off of the last one, Jason is Bruce’s favorite allowing him to get away with pretty much anything, but no one notices this because Jason is convinced Bruce hates him, and everyone else (understandably) believes Cass is the favorite.

-Cass took up gardening after watching Alfred tend to the rose bushes out front, and is now responsible for the very impressive garden on the Wayne Estate. She loves being to create and nurture life instead of kill, like the was born and raised to. Jason also taught her the language of flowers and she has little flowerbeds for each member of the family. Only Jason knows what they mean (also Alfred but he knows everything)

-Tim isn’t a caffeine addict, but he does have severe insomnia and ADHD. Because of that, caffeine typically has the opposite effect on him, hence why he always seems to be drinking a cup. Either for the placebo effect to stay up and finish a case, or to make him tired enough to fall asleep.

-Damian struggles to connect with people and express gratitude, appreciation, and love. He asked Cass about her garden one day and very intently sat and listened while she taught him about the language of flowers. Each family member woke up the next morning to a drawing of a bouquet of flowers pinned to the door with a knife (Jason has his framed in a safehouse he is fairly sure none of his family knows about)

-The batcave has a secret vault of “bad ideas” which was started by Dick as a child with the original Robin suit Bruce designed (it had pants) along with videos of Dick wearing said costume and falling off of gymnastics bars. (Think of the video explaining why strippers don’t wear clothes with the person falling off the pole over and over)

-Bruce is autistic. He gives off tism vibes (you’re trying to tell me that a man who dresses up as a bat and fights crime as a trauma response to watching his parents be murdered in front of him is neurotypical?) and I also want to see more a positive autism representation in main characters in media.

-Dick’s use of made up words such as “aster” and “whelmed” come from the fact that he spoke very little English when he was first adopted by Bruce, and decided that using obviously made up words made his slip ups less noticeable, or people would assume he did it on purpose. Even after he mastered English, he continued using his made up words because they just made sense (the batcomputer and jl database have a hidden file called the “DICKtionary” unlinking all his words and their meanings)

-Jason can’t drive. He died when he was 15 (you have to be 16 in Jersey to get your permit), was revived in Nanda Parbat so there was no need to drive, and was too embarrassed to mention it by the time he returned to Gotham and the Batfamily. This is his deepest, darkest, secret.

-As a child, Dick was convinced Batman was a vampire (and still isn’t entirely convinced otherwise)

-Tim collects little trinkets. Dick noticed this early on, and made sure to get a little souvenir trinket for Tim every time he went on a trip. Bruce noticed and started doing the same thing, and so did his friends after a while. Tim proudly displays his collection, because to him, each trinket is a reminder that people are thinking about him and care about him. (Most of his possessions in Drake Manor were necessities like clothes, or things he had bought for himself. Barely anything was a gift)

-Jason has OCPD, and needs things to be an exact certain way, and struggles when they aren’t. It’s one of the biggest reasons why he is often so frustrated with Bruce, who tends to do things in a different, certain way.

-Cass is actually the most neurotypical in the family, though because she has learned how to be a person through observing, she has picked up on many neurodivergent traits, specifically stimming.

-Steph’s aesthetic is retro pastel pop, mixed with maximalism. She loves bright colors and loud designs (though purple is still her favorite by far)

-Alfred keeps guns stashed all over the house in case of emergencies. Bruce hates this and has tried to remove them, but has given up as he can never seem to find them all. Alfred also brought up the good point of “I am not a vigilante like you, Master Bruce, and I am not quite as young as I used to be. If there is ever an invasion of the manor, I would quite enjoy the security of being able to protect myself.”

-There is a list of who is banned from the kitchen. Bruce is at the top of the list, Tim isn’t allowed to make anything more complex than instant food, Cass and Damian aren’t very good, but at least make an effort to learn so are therefore allowed with supervision. Dick has a partial ban. He is an absolute disaster in the kitchen, except for soups, and sarma (his mother’s recipe was one of the few things he brought with him from the circus and was obsessed with perfecting it as a kid, leading it to be one of the only things he can actually make) Steph isn’t allowed to cook, but she is a proficient baker. Duke isn’t a horrible cook, but mainly avoids the kitchen, preferring to stay out of Alfred’s way. Jason is the only batfamily member who is not banned from the kitchen under any circumstances. He has a tendency to stress cook, and likes trying new fancy recipes, because on the streets he only ate what he could find. This gives him a sense of control.

-Superman wasn’t a great dad to Connor at first, opting to send him to the farm to stay with Ma and Pa, but after a stern talking to from Bruce, came around started making an effort. Connor is an excellent big brother to Jon.

[hard-times-paramore]

Drive (2011) - An Autistic Reading

Have you guys ever watched this movie with Ryan Gosling? Did you know he's literally me. Hello, fellas, today I am going to talk about why I think Guy From Drive, the Protagonist of Drive, has this thang called autism.

Everything you see here is headcanon. It wasn't intentional on the movie's part. In fact, I know it and find it hilarious. Every writing choice in this movie that led it to be critically acclaimed as a sigma male film bro has only pushed this guy further into The Spectrum. Let's take a look at them.

The Jacket

You can't talk about Drive without bringing up Ryan Gosling's silvery embroidered scorpion jacket. This iconic costume design has him standing out in the crowd as the baddass that he is, a part of his personality and of the movie's visual design. He wears that scorpion jacket so often that it becomes his image in the movie's posters.

OR... It's his comfort clothing. This jacket gets progressively dirtier with blood as the movie goes forward and he does not take it out even when he has the chance to change. Because it's the right texture, it's comfortable and familiar. When everything is falling apart around him in the second half of the movie, that scorpion quite literally has his back.

The Gloves

We love a sexy pair of gloves. I like to think they have the same function, another comfort, since he's never caught driving without them on. Might be a sensory thing too, keeping things from touching his hands.

Which reminds me of this scene

This scene is very WOW. The SYMBOLISM. His hands are DIRTY because he is a CRIMINAL.

But he was also talking his way out of physical contact here.

The Brooding Attitude

Another thing you can't talk about this movie without bringing up is the fact the protagonist is Very Mysterious and Brooding and Quiet. Everyone wants to be as cool as he is with how Quiet and Mysterious he acts. I even saw people making fun at the fact that it takes him a good 30 seconds to answer anything addressed to him.

But to me, that was just screaming nonverbality. It's not even that he's an introvert, or awkward at socializing, since he happily seeks out Irene and her son Benício to chat with them. It's just that it's hard for him - the actual talking.

In this context, his monologue at the start of the film, which he repeats later on when he decides to help Standard, might be something he scripted, and rolls more easily off his tongue now.

People also point out his facial expression stays the same for the entire movie. He also often stares at everything in a very intense manner. It might be him being all baddass and calm and collected, or it might be that he just can't emote properly, something that happens a lot with autistic people. It's not like Ryan Gosling was being a lazy / bad actor, because he hinted microexpressions and acted with his entire body during the movie. A scene that definitely caught my eye was the one he was about to hammer a bullet into his enemy's face.

Sure, his face doesn't change even as he talks with the big baddy guy on the phone, but he's clearly angry to the point of twitching a little.

The Toothpick

I like that he had this little toothpick in his mouth all the time. He even asks Benício if he wants one, and the kid, thinking he's cool as hell, accepts so he can be like him. It's a nice little trait that adds extra personality to him.

It's also most definitely a stim.

The Cars

Last thing I have to add is the theme of the entire movie. This guy lives and breathes cars. He has three separate jobs and all of them involve cars. Every hobby and leisure activity he was portrayed partaking in the movie was in a car. He drives.

Cars are his special interest. We'll never know the choices that led him to his life of crimes, but we know he managed to include his favorite thing, the thing he loves and specialized on, into it. And he does a damn good job at it, his baddass movie protagonist-grade talent at being Mr. Drive.

Bonus: the theme song

Just cause "A Real Hero" by College is such an autistic song to me. Those lyrics about being "emotionally complex, in a grain of dystopic claims", all while the chorus repeats itself ad-infinitum, reassuring you that you've proven yourself to be a real human being (and a real hero). It's a common experience to autism, and I can confirm it, to feel alienated, like you're some sort of alien in a sea of normal people. The fact this song reassures me I'm human is very comforting.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[song-writer-melo-wrath]

Silly Game Time: Who are some of your favorite mechanical characters, be they robots, androids, cyborgs, or something else? And what do like about them?

OOOOH...

Well, first, gotta mention my man Data.

A lot of people has said that he is autism-coded in the way that he is presented, and in how other people react to him. And I kind of agree tbh. He's also just a sweetheart, and his bonds with the crew (especially Laforge), his cat Spot, and sometimes with people who are briefly onboard are so lovely.

I also feel I should mention Connor,

Because his arc has probably inspired so many OCs at this point. Bryan Dechart did such an excellent job playing him, and his growing bond with Hank is very well-written. I think it's honestly touching how it's often emotional bonds that show humanity.

Another I feel would be a crime not to mention,

Because between the iconic lines and the dynamic he has with John Connor, and the way it shapes his various decisions, how could I not? And yes I'm specifically talking Terminator 2 here. Though I will say he makes an EXCELLENT force of nature and presence of absolute horror in the first movie.

Then, of course, the sapphic community's favourite,

Because "Want You Gone" hurts me on a personal level, and I don't just mean because it's how GLaDOS says farewell. I relate to that song so much (and did a cover of it :D) and, in general, relate with much of her story. Of course, she's a sassy motherfucker who you can't help but love. But for how much Portal 2 is considered the inferior game, it really does make her story into one of self-discovery and complicated morality. I guess it just gets overshadowed by Oh hi. How are you holding up.

Next,

I MEAN. COME ON. This guy used to be, and honestly still is, one of my biggest fictional crushes. His charisma is magnetic, of course. His STORY being wrapped up by the connections he used to have being rekindled, resulting in him choosing to be a star for those who need one most, rather than a star for the most people possible???? Ugh, poetic cinema.

Speaking of stars,

[vibrating] I have so many headcanons when it comes to this one But more to the point, Star Dream is an absolute force of nature. Its boss fight is incredible, an absolute marvel of multiple types of play styles coming together. The themes? Slap.

Star Dream's draw, for me, is that its sentience is so…debatable. I'm on the side of “had sentience the whole time”, and more to the point, “based on how much Haltmann copied homework, it's possible he brought something back from the dead” but I dunno, I don't like arguing my case when it comes to the second. The point is, for many of things that it does, it's uncertain whether that's just part of its program, or if it's a sentient decision. Was Susie sent away because of something accidental, or was it Star Dream's intention? The fact that Haltmann became so focused on its creation after her disappearance, in my eyes, kind of implies the latter…

… It's also interesting that even without Haltmann giving it a voice via him-being-possessed, it only chooses to speak to Meta Knight.

Can you tell I have The Kirby Autism, is it noticeable, is it obvious—

Also I'm gonna put two of my OCs here, because self-indulgence is alive and well.

This is Palharine and Mayday! They're my favourites out of a group of robot/android characters I created about three years ago, and have finally taken the time to draw recently:

From left to right, you got Eodel Remidoros, Palharine, Mayday, and Ziah Hyperion. All very different interpretations of robotic.

Palharine and Mayday stand out to me due to their emotional states. They're kind of opposites, in that regard. Mayday is a very sensitive gal, who has been through a lot of pain, and is trying to become stronger so she can confidently say she has no doubt in who she is. Palharine, as far as they're aware, has no emotions. Which is interesting, since the other three all seem to, to some degree. Among the four, Palharine is also unique in that they're programmed to dream. Both of these things shape them a lot.

But these two have a very sweet bond, where they're both passionate about biology, especially botany. Mayday, in a training exercise, also nearly wipes the floor with Palharine. It's more touching than it sounds.

Also, Palharine's genderfluid and Maydays a trans woman, so those things just inherently spark joy for me, haha!

This has been, real robotic character hours.

[daedalusdavinci]

My Riddlebat Recs

ive read most of the stuff in the riddlebat tag. most of it. i dont really read any batman 22 stuff, but ive read just about everything else. that said, heres a list of some of my favorites ive read!

first of all, jovialJuggernaut and fromjannah write my absolute favorite riddlebat fics of all time, so theyre gonna be on this list a LOT. i dont think i put all of their fics on here, tho, so im just telling you right now that you should 100% check out everything both of those authors have. i will link some of my favorites below tho along w some of my other recs

baby lose the costume

by @fromjannah

"Hey," Eddie says, impossibly soft. The lights are so bright. "C'mon, Crusader. You're here. Listen to my voice." Bruce can only oblige. Easy as breathing.

Bruce, Eddie, and a late night visit to Arkham that goes a little sideways.

read all of fromjannahs unburied fics. do it. immediately. rn. they are all devastatingly good and frankly some of the best riddlebat fics out there. this one in particular is so melancholy and aching and it wrecks me every time yes i reread it all the time i reread ALL of their unburied fics

once more to see you

by @fromjannah

The Riddler has been missing for over a year -- that is, until tonight. Bruce Wayne has very normal feelings about this.

shortened version of the summary bc im just reccing everything from fromjannah and you need to just start accepting that theyre all good. the way they write eddie is so perfect

ghar aaja pardesi

by saheeli (@sa-heelies on tumblr i think?)

Bruce gets the news on a Tuesday. The letters start coming on Wednesday. Or; Eddie escapes from Arkham again. He leaves a trail of clues behind him so that Bruce and Barbara can follow.

ohh this one is so good. i think its the longest of the unburied ones and i think it was the first one i read?? the set up and eventual payoff is so good and sweet and barbara and eddies relationship OFC is iconic. this was the fic that made me realize i desperately needed to listen to unburied

a dreaded sunny day

by @lesbiantriphosphate

“Who do you think I am, Bruce Wayne?” He smirks. “Or should I be asking: do you know who you are?” Bruce takes his time to decide whether to continue the banter or answer truthfully. He can’t tell whether Eddie wants to continue their comfortable Riddler-versus-Batman game of talking around in circles, or if he’s just searching for an entrance into a more geniune conversation. “I think…” he starts and stops again. “Far too much, in my humble opinion,” Eddie quips as he makes his way over and sets two steaming mugs on the table.

more unburied bc the unburied dynamic is the best dynamic. this one is really fucking sweet ;;;;;;; i love it so much its very short but its such a good read

Unasked

by penguistificial

Edward had thought the only flaw in his perfectly planned crime was that nobody would ever be able to appreciate it - apart from himself. And yet, Batman had deftly deciphered all his clues, seen the solution Edward hadn't thought anyone would ever find. Doesn’t a correct answer deserve a reward? But, what to offer? What would be both acceptable and accepted?

this ones good! its a different take on their dynamic than the fics i usually read but its a very good take

Kings, Knights, Pawns

by jovialJuggernaut (@jovialjuggernaut-draws on tumblr)

riddle man gets to smooch the batman but its a slowburn so thatll be checks watch in a while updated summary when i can think of a good one update: it took 12 chapters but we made it, they smooched

the summary doesnt do it justice, honestly. as far as comics riddlebat goes this is THE riddlebat fic of all time as far as im concerned. this is the blueprint. this is It(TM). liam has such a way of writing eddie hes so irritating and whiny and fidgety as hell you just HAVE to love him. this fic is peak adhd4autism and the way they write bruces autism in this honestly totally influences the way i write bruce all the time. gamechanger of a fic, youve GOT to read it

Hurricane

by jovialJuggernaut

A hurricane hits Gotham and something (someone) washes up in the Batcave.

eddie w eds!!!! yes!!!!! one of my favorites of liams fics. that said, you should read ALL of liams riddlebat fics. they all go hard as fuck and honestly if i looked any further into my bookmarks itd all just be liam all the way down

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

I need more information on Cosima Holmes. Is she Sherlock’s daughter? Sister? Niece (through Eurus, maybe)?

Anon thank you so so so much I've been wanting to info dump about her this got longer than it was supposed to so it's under a cut! Hope this was helpful info lmk if there's anything more specific that you'd like to know <3

Cosima is the youngest Holmes sister, somewhere around 15-20 years younger than Sherlock (thinking around 13 in s1 but for sure between 10-15 at the oldest), and she's been raised by Mycroft since she was five

Years after Eurus and the fire, her parents had another child basically to replace the daughter that they lost, and Cosima is born. They loved her, but they got so caught up in grief to the point that they believed that she was Eurus, which eventually led to Mycroft taking custody of her – Sherlock doesn't know the exact reason because he doesn't remember Eurus, Mycroft explained it as their parents simply not being fit and it not being a healthy environment for her anymore

She shares the family genius trait but Mycroft did his best to socialize her better than her older siblings were (autistic icon & bad with social cues still but better adjusted than her siblings) – despite Mycroft's own belief that other people are just goldfish and knowing that she's too smart for elementary school. I think that she might be taking university courses but Mycroft makes her choose at least two extra curricular activities with peers her own age (between Eurus being Eurus and Sherlock's addiction, Mycroft is hopeful that giving her pieces of a normal life despite her intelligence will be good for her

Having a parental figure who understood her brain also made a huge difference, both in terms of being able to keep up with her intellectually and understanding her mental health and autism

Also Cosima absolutely adores Greg Lestrade and thinks he’s basically the coolest person ever and not as stupid as Sherlock says. She first met him when she was very young, Mycroft and Lestrade were both in a hospital room after Sherlock had an overdose and Mycroft couldn't get care for Cosima on such short notice so brought her along. Mycroft hates asking favours but having Sherlock in withdrawal at his place wasn't a good environment for tiny Cosima so he asks Greg if she can spend the day in his office at Scotland Yard. Greg agreed, Cosima kept stealing his case files and pointing out discrepancies that helped him solve them. This happened pretty often over the years before Sherlock got sober, and as she got older, she started tagging along with Sherlock or Greg to various crime scenes (and eventually he started asking for her help)

(Lestrade is very concerned about the effect on her mental health. She won't go back to therapy – she had one therapist who tried to "cure" her autism and it was traumatic, no more therapy for her – but once a week she and Lestrade have either tea/coffee or ice cream outings where she updates him on her life, but they also talk about whatever cases she's involved herself in and how she's handling processing them)

She also does love Sherlock and he adores her, even if he doesn't always show it well. And she does know Eurus exists because of the first five years of her life and the way her parents were, Mycroft told her about their childhood but she doesn't know about Sherrinford

and she idolizes Mycroft so much, to outsiders he still seems very cold and detached but he has his own ways of showing how much he cares and Cosima has never doubted that he loves her more than anything

John is very confused about why some kid is hanging out at a murder scene in episode 1, then she's there when Mycroft "kidnaps" him, John thinks that Mycroft is then trying to kidnap her as some sort of leverage against Sherlock and is absolutely ready to fight to protect her – Cosima knows that Mycroft is actually just testing John to see if he can be trusted with her safety (even if only a bit, no one is fully trusted with her except for Sherlock & Greg)

[besidesitstoowarm]

"Partners in Crime" thoughts

bf decided wilf is the best. he is not wrong

the adipose are literally one of the creatures of all time. amongus babies + porg + autism creature. i love them sooooo so much i also kind of want to eat them. it's fine

donna and ten have i think the best chemistry of any doctor-companion pairing in all of new who, possibly ever? in new who at least the only other pairing that comes close is eleven and river and that's bc he wants her strap so bad it makes him sick. they are just so fucking funny and iconic "you're not mating with me sunshine" he is truly in his sad wet era

i don't care about the plot cause the plot's not important. i love how sylvia says donna is the only unemployed person "not like the 80s" what the fuck are you talking about. jesus christ i know jackie can be a bit grating but rose was also 19, of course jackie is protective. donna's like 30! sylvia can eat my shorts. wilf is so supportive and sweet tho, i love their convo by the telescope

do we ever fucking find out what the shadow proclamation is? does chibnall explain it cause it seems like a very chibnall era thing to do. it seems like space nato but idk how much power they could have given that ten basically said the loss of the time lords was the loss of a governing body for space law. maybe he just meant in relation to timey wimey? and the shadow proclamation handles everything else? the whole "breeding planet" stuff felt very futurama to me. popplers

i appreciate that ten acknowledged he "destroyed half of [martha's] life" now can you tell HER that. of course now that she's gone he's all sadboy ohhh i didn't appreciate her enough and i fucked her up. it feels like a retroactive apology from davies. davies i forgive you. ten you're on thin fucking ice.

and then we see the ghost of rose! kind of. not ghost. but her appearance and the music that plays (i think it might be "vale decem"?) echoes the end of the season. we get the hint at the ending right at the beginning. "it was always going to happen, she's been dead since the beginning" kinda vibe. obviously it's meant as just a little tease for the rest of the season but it really felt like a death omen, esp w peter capaldi in the next ep. you're on borrowed time!!

the last thing i want to call back to is when the doctor gives foster one chance to make it right or else he'll fuck her up. it very much echoed "no second chances" from "christmas invasion", i think the only one who ever gets a second chance from ten (not even rose, who gets her second chance with his clone) is the master, who basically never expends his chances. no second chances unless it's my gay best friend that i have a dubiously homoerotic/malicious situationship with. many such cases

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

@deadgodjess yeah I thought I was done being peeved about this but I just spent a full forty minute yoga session unable to think about literally anything else. starting a new post because this one has gotten unwieldy but for anyone just joining us this is the tl;dr:

sorry it’s a day later and I’m still thinking about how dirty this godforsaken show [Gotham] did the riddler. why did you have to give him such a tacky ~ooooo mental illness is SCARY!! uh oh I killed my girlfriend by aCcIdEnT!!~ origin story when it would have been infinitely funnier for Ed to just run some numbers re: how many cases would actually get solved without him and come to the completely justifiable conclusion that he can absolutely get away with quitting his job and turning to a life of riddle-based crime.

I'm going to offer my alternative for what I, personally, think would have been a more fun Riddler buildup across Gotham's 4.5 season run. I am absolutely not seeking feedback, this is a thot exercise meant to be enjoyed by me, myself, and maybe like three people that I trust on this hellsite.

anyway having our boy Ed abruptly jump headfirst into the shallow end of the homicidal maniac pool was executed in a way that was not just wildly ableist but also mmmm dumb and boring as hell and really ripped away a lot of opportunities to use this character in a more interesting way, and by "more interesting" I cannot emphasize enough that I mean "ways that I think are funnier."

if I'm being totally honest I think producers/execs whoever got nervous about the show's continuation and insisted on pulling the trigger on Ed riddling out before season one ended in the hopes that having another Batman villain active pre-Batman would help build a little more railroad for this awful show to keep careening along on. this has to play out via the manifestation of a fucking evil alternate personality because, frankly, up until this point Ed has been characterized as pretty much a total sweetheart with absolutely zero ulterior motives and possibly the only brain cell in the entire Gotham City Police Department. he is literally Just Some Guy with hamfisted autism coding and a fondness for riddles who regularly gets dismissed and bullied by his colleagues, all of whom I wish would die in a fire (except for maybe Harvey Bullock because he's really the only man bringing any kind of eye candy to this show, but we're not here to talk about that).

what I'm getting at here is that the writers had a really great opportunity to spend a few seasons showing us how life in Gotham gradually wore down a man who was one a friendly and law-abiding colleague of Jim Gordon's into a little freak in spandex who cannot stop trying to one-up a man dressed as a bat. he actually could have been a compelling foil to Jimothy, whose whole deal is that he's somehow managed to remain The Only Honest Cop In Gotham despite years of horseshit; building on the relationship between the two of them and exploring how their paths eventually diverge could have been really cool and yes, I will be drawing on that in my posthumous script doctor.

as long as we're talking about the Riddler and basically everyone else in the show sans Selina (and... sort of Poison Ivy, idk, I don't like the in-universe age lift and I don't want to contemplate it too much) I think it's stupid that Gotham is basically setting up a universe where all of Batman's iconic enemies are actually more like a bunch of middle aged assholes that Gordon already has decade-old beef with. it's dumb but it's also what I have to work with because if we tweak things any further to make Bruce and all of his future rogues teenagers together I think we're just remaking Riverdale.

sorry we got a little lost in the weeds there, I wasn't originally planning on making that and I don't want to admit how much time I wasted on it. anyway after a little "oh boohoo I'm just a poor little guy I can't believe I did murders" Ed's pretty much straight to bugfuck crazy murdertown with every other villain on this show. everybody on Gotham is like two seconds away from committing homicide at all times except for MAYBE Bruce; pretty much every recurring antagonist is a kill-happy maniac and most of the one-off villains of the week are as well. even the Penguin gaslight gatekeep girlbosses his way through a truly staggering number of people in the first half dozen episodes alone. what I'm getting at here is that dropkicking the Riddler straight into the same mold isn't just ableist or lazy - it's also the very worst thing that writing can be, which is FUCKING BORING. what if, god forbid, we had one rogue bringing a different kind of sauce to the party? in this essay I will -

season one: my pitch here is actually so simple, because I literally just want to keep Ed's characterization the same for the entire season. no abrupt slip and slide into stabbing and/or choking people to death, just a weird little dude who's around and good at his job and has a little mug with a question mark on it. he shows up once an episode for two minutes to crack the case wide open and tell a riddle and the remind the audience that he's around. "yep, that's the Riddler," they'll say. "no need to give him a violent split personality, I know where this is going and I am indeed capable of waiting for that payoff."

season two: now at this point you might be saying "Makenzie wait - is your pitch going to assume that the original storyline of Gotham is otherwise proceeding as it did otherwise? because that's going to get pretty impossible pretty fast if the Riddler has a drastically different personality/role in the show." yeah hey listen man. listen. I don't give a shit about what actually happens in the show. I give a shit about the Riddler. don't ask about this again. this all takes place in an AU where Gotham is a competently written show; I know that's sort of a stretch but bear with me.

anyway season two is when we can start getting some cracks in Riddleboy's chipper little exterior but for god's sake, let's deploy a little subtlety. probably he needs to start getting bullied more - possibly because he's notably friendly with Jim and easier to bully than Bullock, Jim's only other friend. anyway, this is how Ed learns that sometimes fucking people over is okay, actually. nothing drastic, just manipulating evidence here and there to ruin the day (and then career) of some of the biggest assholes in the department and bolster his faves (Jim). I cannot emphasize enough that the first half of the season has to be about this man realizing that most of his coworkers are VERY DUMB and EXTREMELY EASY TO MISLEAD.

come the second half of season 2 we get to see him getting a little too cocky, which will ultimately lead to his downfall. tl;dr being smarter than everyone is fun but still doesn't solve the problem of nobody else noticing or caring that he's smarter than them, and it's really starting to rankle. this will be the point when Ed upgrades to like. full sending his own boss cut-up magazine ransom notes and shit making demands to try and steer the GCPD more efficiently. there are, obviously, subtle little riddles embedded in these letters, but Gordon is the only one who will notice because Gordon's the protagonist and gets to notice things. this will end in a big confrontation, whatever, he's not going to turn Ed in because he believes Ed was genuinely acting in the interest of flushing out dirty cops, but he's also a little bitch so he IS going to tell Ed that he'll turn him in if Ed doesn't resign. Ed goes quietly and with a frankly unsettling amount of glee that someone was finally smart enough to solve one of his little puzzles. personally I love when the Riddler won't really look at or acknowledge anyone who won't play his silly little games I think that's so fun of him.

season three: the first half of season three is actually by far the most fun for me because it involves Ed a.) doing the Riddler thing where he tries to be a private detective for a while and b.) getting mercilessly bullied by all of Gotham city for a bit. you can fill in the specifics of the goofs yourself but suffice to say he's just a plucky little guy investigating some weird ass shit and still getting dumped on a lot in the process. our boy is going to have to learn to get a little unscrupulous.

it's vital that during this half of the season Jim comes to him at least a couple of times to ask for input that frankly none of the useless sadsacks at the GCPD are qualified to provide now that Ed's gone, because they're all doing the equivalent of that John Mulaney bit where they look at a corpse and go "ew! clean it up!" instead of gathering anything useful in the way of evidence. for some reason that I can't QUITE put my finger on it seems important to establish that Jim Gordon is willing to work alongside people who are operating a bit outside the law as long as he believes their intentions are good. and listen - Ed will genuinely help him! but he is also absolutely going home and idly jotting down notes for how he'd get away with exactly the crimes he helped solve.

the second half of season three involves him getting nabbed by Someone and pretty much extorted into helping them work against the GCPD on account of being a former employee who knows exactly how they investigate. what ensues is a series of crime scenes that have an abundance of fake evidence designed to lead the cops in circles that go nowhere - UNLESS you piece together some extremely abstract hints being hidden there, because Ed is sincerely making an effort to alert his old GCPD chums to what's going on. except, oh no, the stress of being held hostage is getting to him and he is SORT OF starting to enjoy how good he is at this and also beating his head against the wall in frustration over how fucking stupid literally every single one of his former colleagues is. he'll get rescued (by Jim) by the end of the season but god will he be bitter by then.

also I said he was being forced to work for Someone and it truly could be anyone in this horseass show but like. come on. it's Penguin. the rest of canon can go to hell but it's so important to me that Penguin still wants to fuck the Riddler so bad it makes him look stupid. it's just hands down the funniest thing that happens in all of Gotham and I wouldn't change it for the world.

season four: alright so Eddie boy starts this season trying to go to therapy about his whole kidnapping and probably PTSD thing but we the audience will realize very quickly that he's getting twitchy and is just purposefully playing with like. MULTIPLE different therapists and giving them all wildly different information to see if he can get each of them to give him different diagnoses. he has absolutely no idea why he's doing this except that it's fun and he evidently can. this man is living on the knife edge he's so sweaty and gross and he wants to do crime again SO bad and is really running out of reasons why he shouldn't.

if this show were written by people I could trust I'd say we could actually do a really thrilling mental health(TM) storyline here focusing in on Ed getting increasingly manipulative and ruled by compulsive behavior. I'd say the crux of his arc in the first half of the season is Jim convincing Ed to check himself in to some kind of mental health facility for his own wellbeing - probably Arkham, since it seems to somehow be the only mental health facility in Gotham despite the fact that it appears to be patterned on ghoulish 19th century sanitariums more than anything. anyway, this lasts approximately one day before Ed disappears from the facility and leaves an elaborate riddle behind, thus ending his arc for the first half of the season.

second half starts as a straight up revenge plot against Penguin because I love when these awful little homos fight with each other, but Gotham being Gotham I think a bit of an emotional roller coaster can ensue. Penguin can definitely convince Ed to ease off and work with him as more of a partner for a bit, but I still want this Riddler to be a murder lite contrast to most of the other villains in the cast so I think that will be the point of contention that ultimately drives them apart. the Penguin CANNOT stop lethally girlbossing; it's his first love.

anyway after that Ed's just fucking with the GCPD for shits and giggles because fuck 'em, am I right? he's definitely got the whole question mark suit Look going by this point; hanging out with the Penguin for too long changes a man.

season five: god I don't even know; there were only 12 episodes and one of them was for the flash forward. he tells some shitty riddles and probably gives Gordon one final helping hand but in a way that benefits him, firmly securing his status as "sometimes useful, always a bastard." all that really matters this still happens to him. this is the last we see of him, dangling next to Robin Lord Taylor in just the least convincing fake gut I've ever seen in god's green earth.

anyway sorry this got so long I'm genuinely appalled and disgusted with myself. I have problems!

[bae-science]

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

[rockislandadultreads]

Satire & Fiction: Book Recs

Adjustment Day by Chuck Palahniuk

People pass the word only to those they trust most: Adjustment Day is coming. They’ve been reading a mysterious book and memorizing its directives. They are ready for the reckoning. Adjustment Day, the author’s first novel in four years, is an ingeniously comic work in which Chuck Palahniuk does what he does best: skewer the absurdities in our society. Smug, geriatric politicians bring the nation to the brink of a third world war in an effort to control the burgeoning population of young males; working-class men dream of burying the elites; and professors propound theories that offer students only the bleakest future. Into this dyspeptic time a blue-black book is launched carrying such wisdom as: Imagine there’s no God. There is no Heaven or Hell. There is only your son and his son and his son and the world you leave for them. The weak want you to forgo your destiny just as they’ve shirked theirs. A smile is your best bulletproof vest. When Adjustment Day arrives, it fearlessly makes real the logical conclusion of every separatist fantasy, alternative fact, and conspiracy theory lurking in the American psyche.

Lake Success by Gary Shteyngart

Narcissistic, hilariously self-deluded, and divorced from the real world as most of us know it, hedge-fund manager Barry Cohen oversees $2.4 billion in assets. Deeply stressed by an SEC investigation and by his three-year-old son's diagnosis of autism, he flees New York on a Greyhound bus in search of a simpler, more romantic life with his old college sweetheart. Meanwhile, his super-smart wife, Seema--a driven first-generation American who craved the picture-perfect life that comes with wealth--has her own demons to face. How these two flawed characters navigate the Shteyngartian chaos of their own making is at the heart of this piercing exploration of the 0.1 Percent, a poignant tale of familial longing and an unsentimental ode to what really makes America great.

The Way of All Fish by Martha Grimes

In Grimes’s new sendup of a world she knows very well, Candy and Karl, hitmen with a difference— they have scruples—once again venture into the murky Manhattan publishing scene. This time they come to the aid of a writer who is being sued by her unscrupulous literary agent, L. Bass Hess, a man determined to get a 15 percent commission for a book he didn’t sell. The contract killers join forces with publishing mogul Bobby Mackenzie and megabestselling writer Paul Giverney to rid the mean streets of Hess, not by shooting him, but by driving him crazy. They are helped by other characters from Foul Matter and a crew of new colorful personalities, including an out-of-work Vegas magician, an alligator wrangler, a glamorous Malaysian con lady, and Hess’s aunt in Everglades City, who has undergone a wildly successful sex change.

Dexter Is Dead by Jeff Lindsay

After seven national bestsellers and eight seasons as one of the most successful shows on television, New York Times bestselling author Jeff Lindsay bids a thrilling farewell to his uniquely twisted and beloved serial killer, Dexter Morgan. Dexter Is Dead is the definitive conclusion of the character who has become a global icon.

    Dexter Morgan has burned the candle at both ends for many years. Blood spatter analyst . . . husband . . . father . . . serial killer. And now, for the first time, his world has truly collapsed. Dexter is arrested on charges of murder. He has lost everything—including his wife, his kids, and the loyalty of his sister. Now completely alone, Dexter faces a murder charge (for a crime . . . ironically . . . he did not actually commit). His only chance for freedom lies with his brother, Brian, who has a dark plan to prove Dexter's innocence. But the stakes are deadly, and the epic showdown that lies in Dexter's path may lead, once and for all, to his demise.     Jeff Lindsay's trademark devilish wit and cutting satire have never been sharper. Dexter Is Dead marks the end of a beloved series, but is also Dexter's most satisfying and suspenseful outing yet.

[mayapenelopeclutterbucket]

*SPOILERS* for TGD 3x16 “Autopsy” aka I’m so tired of Canadians getting the better melendaire promos and I’m like Owen Wilson with my usage of wow 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😂

Y’all idk if I’m ready for tonight

just kidding I AM and dying to see what “bring the funny” antics melendaire is gonna get into 😆

-not gonna lie it’s weird to not see Claire and Melendez work on a patient together 😂 first time it’s happened in a while but at least they’ll interact this ep still!

-why do they always have heart to hearts in the middle of surgery lmao

-I have never seen them work this fast it’s so disorientating like damn wtf just happened honestly

-wow Neil Melendez actually mentoring shaun?! This shit hasn’t happened since season 1 finale because they never want them to work together lol but it’s so nice to see 😭 I miss the ogs interacting

-l*mlendez having scenes together with no romantic context we LOVE to see it

-gdi Morgan Claire and Melendez weren’t “sneaking around”

-Morgan admitting Melendez is a good mentor but only to Claire 👀 but Claire putting her in her place about reporting and what it really did to the whole team AN ICON 👏🏼👏🏼

-but Morgan thinks favoritism is going on with melendaire but like that’s his job to mentor?? All of the attendings and chiefs have favorites let’s not lie and have mentored all of you in multiple occasions sooooo like

-this is adorable! A crime board with shaun and park and them being detectives

-so far we have NOT seen melendaire interact was I mislead?!

-wow park being in cahoots with shaun and not listening to melendez 😂

-okay wtf is up with lim and this kid she keeps seeing??

-an interaction outside of work with residents?! Wow I’m amazed

-I miss Jared. Jared should be going on these adventures with shaun

-park being some weird pseudo father figure giving advice to shaun instead of his actual friends??

-wow okay plz tell melendez and Claire just argued and disagreed like that to throw people off that they love each other and are still besties and @jillrox202 is right they did sound like a couple fighting 😂 like they straight up pretty much told the other they were wrong

-I did not see shaun getting arrested coming

-shea better still be friends after this ep is all I have to say 🙃

-okay jk I also have to ask so is shaun actually in love w/ lea or did Carly telling him how he feels affect him?

-breznick back to their disagreeing ways I haven’t missed it :// but Morgan apologizing is an improvement!! We love growth plz keep growing for once lol

-awww lim you better adopt this adorable little girl 😭 but wtf is this storyline it came outta nowhere

-I’m hoping Melendez doesn’t suddenly think this is the chance for him to be a dad 😂

-honestly how am I not supposed to ship shea I’m sorry but I still don’t think lea is ready to commit and be in a serious relationship but I am rooting for them

-Audrey lim giving the inspiring speeches we love to see it 😭

-I love Claire being called Dr. B

-wow Morgan connecting with a patient instead of Claire?

-wow Carly doing an autopsy for shaun or I guess allowing him

-lmao can’t you see I’m torn about the ships

-he doesn’t have to do ANYTHING like him and lea can just be friends even if he’s in love with her like if he’s not ready STOP PRESSURING HIM

-so he does love lea and Carly but lea more does this mean we’re gonna drop Carly as a character next season or after this ep 🙄 BECAUSE GOD FORBID WE KEEP WOMAN IN THE SHOW AND STORYLINES IF THEYRE NOT A LOVE INTEREST FUCK OFF WITH THIS NARRATIVE PLZ

-but shaun hugging Carly broke me

-omg yessss I was right 😭 that fight was a fakeout. Melendaire is on a supposedly “platonic” bowling date Claire said why does it have to be hard to hide their friendship and Melendez said it was WORTH IT I CANNOT DEAL

-okay so nothing else made me cry this ep except seeing lea cry that was hard and we’re gonna go back with people being on the lea hating train

-she doesn’t want to put shaun through the stress of dealing with her because we all saw how it was when they lived together they were at each other throats but they got through it and I wish lea would’ve worded it better and elaborated more but to know it’s not unrequited hurts even more 😭 becaus they’ve always been so comfortable together and shaun has never felt stressed or worried around her like he did with Carly and this shit sucks 😩😩 in a way she did mean she didn’t want to be with shaun because of his autism and that makes it 20x worse but she’s just scared and doesn’t want to ruin him 😩😩

-but ayyye melendaire working together again next ep and look to be agreeing with each other as usual and looking like a beautiful team

-BUT APPARENTLY YOU CANADIANS GET THE BEST FREAKIN PROMOS AND DASH ASKS CLAIRE OUT AND WE GET A JEALOUS MELENDEZ WTF WTF @gilbxrt-blythe better have it posted here on tumblr soon folks BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE GONNA GET JEALOUS MELENDAIRE AND CLAIRE WEIRDLY GOING ON A DATE WITH DASH

Because then we get a finale called heartbreak and I ain’t ready for that y’all

[jeanvaljean24601]

How to Watch Mad Men and More Great Shows for Free Right Now

Another day, another brand new streaming platform out there begging you to subscribe to its service so you can ignore your family members and binge-watch a bunch of TV shows and movies in the name of entertainment. This time, it's NBCUniversal's Peacock, which offers a free tier as well as  two premium options (one with ads and one without). The service  features a number of programs for free, including Friday Night Lights and even Parks and Recreation, but Peacock isn't the only place you can stream great shows without breaking the bank.

Below, we've gathered up a number of shows that don't require you to shell out money for Netflix,  Hulu,  Amazon Prime,  Disney+, Apple TV+, HBO Max, Peacock, and/or  whatever other streaming service subscriptions are out there. Sometimes you just need a simple freebie. And you know what? You deserve it. So check out the list below and take comfort in knowing it won't cost you a thing.

Watch it on: IMDb TV

Until recently you had to have a Netflix subscription to watch Mad Men, AMC's Emmy-award winning period drama from Matthew Weiner that was dedicated as much to style as it was to substance. The 1960s-set series, which traced the rise and fall of flawed Madison Avenue advertising executive Don Draper (Jon Hamm) through his own complicated relationship with identity, was a pointed commentary on the toxic masculinity, sexism, and racism of the era. It also changed the way we watch and talk about TV. If you haven't seen it yet, now's the perfect time to do so.

The Dick Van Dyke Show

Watch it on: Tubi (complete series), Pluto TV (complete series)

Realizing  The Dick Van Dyke Show is streaming for free feels a bit like winning a secret lottery or viewing an exceptional piece of art without paying the museum admission fee. The popular comedy, which ran for five seasons, was created by Carl Reiner and starred Dick Van Dyke as the head writer of a TV show, while  Mary Tyler Moore portrayed his wife. It's a timeless classic — one that took home 15 Emmys during its run, and if you've yet to experience it, you literally have no excuse at this point.

The Dick Van Dyke Show Photo: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Watch it on: ABC app (complete series)

Felicity is best known as the show in which Keri Russell cut her hair (not to be confused with the show in which Keri Russell wore a lot of great wigs, aka The Americans). Depicting Felicity Porter's (Russell) college years and the struggles that accompany trying to figure out who you're supposed to be, the show is also famous for Scott Speedman's whisper-talking and the ongoing battle of Ben (Speedman) vs. Noel (Scott Foley). Although the WB series was previously streaming on Hulu, you can now watch it for free on the ABC app.

A reimagining of the kitschy original series, Syfy's Battlestar Galacticastarred Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, Katee Sackhoff, Tricia Helfer, Michael Hogan, James Callis, and Jamie Bamber and explored the aftermath of a nuclear attack by the Cylons, cybernetic creatures invented by man who evolved and rebelled against their creators. The show was critically acclaimed for the way it tackled the subjects of science, religion, and politics, and for the way it explored the deeply complicated notion of what makes us human. Everything from the miniseries to the two BSG films (Razor and The Plan) is currently available to stream for free on Syfy's website, so there's no better time to watch it. So say we all!

Watch it on: IMDb TV (complete series), Tubi (complete series), Pluto TV (first 13 seasons), YouTube (first 13 seasons)

For many millennials, the fourth series in the Degrassi franchise, Degrassi: The Next Generation, is the defining iteration of the long-running Canadian series. The drama series, which was sometimes so overly dramatic it was actually funny, tackled everything from date rape and suicide to sexual orientation and teen pregnancy. The series, which launched the careers of Drake (then known as Aubrey Graham) and Nina Dobrev, is streaming on multiple free platforms.

Watch it on: ABC app (complete series)

Eli Stone really had it all, which is to say it had Victor Garber singing George Michael songs, Loretta Devine singing George Michael songs, and George Michael singing George Michael songs. What else is there? ABC's offbeat two-season comedy-drama starred a pre-Elementary Jonny Lee Miller as Eli Stone, a high-powered San Francisco lawyer whose brain aneurysm gave him prophetic visions — which usually involved his friends, family, and colleagues breaking into song. Aside from a couple of ill-advised plotlines (the pilot, which suggests vaccines cause autism, is best forgotten), the show was a blast: a weird but memorable cocktail that should have stuck around for more seasons because, as I mentioned, Victor Garber sang George Michael songs. Also, Sigourney Weaver played God?! -Kelly Connolly

Watch it on: YouTube (nearly every episode)

A true Canadian treasure,  The Red Green Show was a long-running comedy starring Steve Smith as Red Green, a handyman who constantly tried to cut corners using duct tape and who had his own cable TV show. It was a parody of home improvement shows and outdoor programs and featured segments like Handyman Corner, Adventures with Bill, and The Possum Lodge Word Game. The show ran for 15 seasons, airing on PBS in the States. 

TV Premiere Date Calendar: Find Out When Your Favorite Shows Are Back

Watch it on: IMDb TV (complete series), ABC app (complete series)

Critically beloved but struck down before its time,  My So-Called Life has been praised for its realistic and honest portrayal of teenage life, not just via Angela Chase (Claire Danes), but through the show's young supporting cast as well. Now considered to be one of the best shows of all time, it tackled topics like homophobia, homelessness, drug use, and more without ever feeling preachy or like an after-school special. Also, Jordan Catalano (Jared Leto) could lean.

Watch it on: CW Seed (first five seasons), IMDb TV (first five seasons)

If you don't have Netflix but still want to watch  Schitt's Creek, you'll be happy to know you can watch the first five seasons of the heartwarming, Emmy-nominated comedy series, about a wealthy family who loses everything they own except the town of the show's title, for free on CW Seed and IMDb TV.

Dan Levy and Catherine O'Hara, Schitt's Creek Photo: Pop TV

Watch it on: Peacock (complete series); IMDb TV (complete series)

You may never know what it feels like to have Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler) be proud of you, but you can pretend by watching all five seasons of  Friday Night Lights, a series that was as much about a Texas community as it was about the sport that united it. By the end of the show, you'll be asking yourself "What Would Riggins Do?" and tattooing "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose" on your body, all while chanting "Texas forever!" Trust me, it happens to everybody.

Watch it on: CW Seed (complete series)

It is relatively easy to forget that The CW series The Carrie Diaries was a prequel to  Sex and the City, because the charming show, which lasted just two seasons, was able to stand on its own. The coming-of-age series that followed a teenaged Carrie Bradshaw (AnnaSophia Robb) was relatively innocent compared to the original series. The show's 1980s setting made it easier for the writers to focus on more harmless family storylines and teenage heartbreaks, but the show never shied away from the heartstring-tugging drama of young adulthood either. It's a shame the show never got the kind of ratings it deserved and wasn't able to exist beyond Carrie's high school years, but the Season 2 finale works well as a series finale, so viewers won't feel as if the story was left incomplete. android tv box

Watch it on: CW Seed (complete series)

It's a shame Bryan Fuller's saturated dramedy  Pushing Daisies, about a pie-maker (Lee Pace) with the ability to bring the dead back to life, couldn't bring itself back to life after becoming a casualty of the 2007-08 writers' strike. A whimsical delight, the show featured the pie-maker teaming up with a local private eye (Chi McBride) to solve murders by reviving the victims for a brief time. Known for its quirky characters, eccentric visual style, and Jim Dale's pitch-perfect narration, it remains must-see TV.

Watch it on: IMDb TV (first seven seasons); Peacock

Columbo kicked off nearly every episode by revealing the crime and its perpetrator to the audience, which means unlike most crime dramas, the show was less about whodunnit and more about Peter Falk's iconic raincoat-wearing homicide detective catching them and getting them to confess. Oh, and just one more thing: it's great.

Watch it on: CW Seed (complete series)

The charming and playful Forever, which starred Ioan Gruffudd as an immortal medical examiner, was the one show that could have saved ABC's Tuesday at 10 p.m. death slot. But the network still canceled the series anyway, enraging the show's fans, who have never let the sting of its death go. Luckily, it now lives on, ahem, forever (aka until the content license expires) on CW Seed.

Watch it on: IMDb TV (complete series)

It sounds odd to say The Middle, which ran for nine seasons on ABC, was unfairly overlooked, but it always felt like the series, which followed the middle class Midwestern Heck family, was a bit of a hidden gem. It wasn't as popular with Emmy voters as, say, Modern Family, and critics also failed to give it its due, but it was a real, heartfelt, reliable family comedy with mass appeal, and you can stream it on IMDb TV for free. h96 tv box

Watch it on: ABC app (complete series)

Trophy Wife's short life — it was canceled after just one season — can probably be chalked up to its unfortunate title, which was meant to be ironic but ultimately kept viewers from tuning in and experiencing the warmth of the show and the relationships at its center. Malin Akerman starred as the young wife of  Bradley Whitford's middle-aged lawyer, and the comedy explored the dynamics between the two, his children, and his two ex-wives, who were played by  Marcia Gay Harden and  Michaela Watkins. h96 max x3

Watch it on: NBC app (complete series)

Loosely based on the Biblical story of King David, Kings was a compelling drama before its time. Rudely cut down after just one season by NBC, the show starred Ian McShane as the king of the fictional kingdom of Gilboa, while  Christopher Egan portrayed an idealistic young soldier whose counterpart is David. The show also starred Sebastian Stan, which is reason enough to want to check it out.

Watch it on: ABC app (complete series)

Ray Wise portrays Satan in Reaper, a supernatural dramedy about a slacker (Bret Harrison) who reluctantly becomes a reaper tasked with capturing escaped souls from hell after it's revealed his parents made a deal with the devil many, many years before. The fact the show only lasted two seasons is a crime against humanity. Luckily, you can watch it in its entirety for free on the ABC app. h96 max x3

Watch it on: IMDb TV (complete series)

A team of experts led by a kooky old scientist (John Noble), his son (Joshua Jackson), and an FBI agent (Anna Torv) investigate strange occurrences around the country, X-Files style, in the J.J. Abrams-produced Fringe. The series is one of the best broadcast science-fiction shows of all time, particularly in its first three seasons, and perfected the art of the serialized procedural by weaving the show's deep mythology and excellent character work into weekly standalone stories, making it easy to binge or watch in spurts. And by the time the end of Season 1 starts, you'll have a hard time stopping. -Tim Surette

Watch it on: Tubi (complete series), Vudu (complete series)

Although American TV producers would eventually adapt  Being Human, the original British version, which followed three supernatural beings trying to live amongst humans, is far superior. The show, which ran for five seasons, starred Aidan Turner, Russell Tovey, and  Lenora Crichlow as a vampire, werewolf, and ghost, respectively. So skip the U.S. version entirely and watch the U.K. series for free.

Watch it on: Pluto TV (complete series),  Vudu (complete series), Tubi (complete series)

The Australian young adult-oriented series Dance Academy is not exactly what you'd call "great television," but it is great fun. Brimming with teen angst and melodrama, the series, which ran for three seasons and even had a follow-up movie, followed a handful of dancers at Sydney's National Academy of Dance as they trained in the sport they loved while also falling in and out of love with each other. The acting was sometimes questionable, but the series itself was addictive, not to mention one of the easiest binges you'll ever encounter. h96 max tv box

3rd Rock From the Sun

Watch it on: Tubi (complete series), Pluto TV (complete series), Crackle (all six seasons),  Vudu (all six seasons)

You might think a show about a group of socially awkward, 1,000-year-old aliens in human skin suits who are trying (badly) to pose as a human family and blend into an ordinary Midwest town might sound ridiculous, and, well, that's fair. But  3rd Rock From the Sun was still charming in even its most bizarre moments and gave its cast a lot of room to play up their roles and create an ensemble of weirdos that, at some point or another, start to tap into their newfound humanity and relish their new home here on Earth. -Amanda Bell.

[witchofthemidlands]

WHY POWER RANGERS 2017 DESERVED A SEQUEL. In This Essay I Will...

A lot of people are gonna disagree with me on this, but in my opinion, Power Rangers 2017 is a goddam masterpiece. It’s probs my second favourite film of all time. It’s beautiful, it’s funny, I felt that soundtrack in my soul and it has an amazing cast. I adore it, alright? Have done since I brought the dvd, because I couldn’t see it in cinemas at the time, because of those stupid ass exams... Anyway, I’m in a shitty headspace, I kinda want to yeet myself out of a window, I’ve had a drink, so, like the piece of actual garage I am, I am going to yeet myself into the trash can of Power Rangers 2017 & explain, why I believe that this film deserved a sequel.

First off THE CHARACTERS. Honestly, one the best things about this entire film is just these five wonderful characters. I could’ve watched these characters do random shit for a whole twenty four hours & not get bored istg, they’re great & they all deserved the world.

Jason Scott: Red Ranger, leader of the squad. Jason is probably my favourite out of the squad if I had to pick one & that’s not just because he’s played by the absolute legend, Dacre Montgomery. Jason won me over from the minute he said ‘tHat’S nOt aN uDDeR dUDe!’ (how tf did the cow get out of the gym to be in the field when Jason’s driving away though) Jason was completely different from everything I was expecting him to be. I thought he was just gonna be another one of those dumbass jock characters, who would slowly start to get on my nerves, but nope. Unlike what I was expecting, this character showed a great range of emotions. He was loyal, brave, hugged his best mate twice and cared so much about his family & friends. I mean the guy went so goddam HARD for Billy Cranston after only knowing him for five minutes. I stan that level of immense friendship.

Kimberly Hart: Pink Ranger. I adored her, honestly, I loved everything about her. She was played by the gorgeous Naomi Scott & was a really interesting character, because she was a character that had done a really shitty thing, but was trying to do better. What I liked about all these characters, was that they were all flawed in some way & were not perfect like all these kinds of films try to portray their characters, which was honestly, why Power Rangers was such a breath of fresh air, because it actually showed decent characters, that were not perfect and were working to try and become the best versions of themselves, but knew that they had a long way to go before they could do that. Kimberly was a part of a cyber bullying incident & it was great to see that they never tried to excuse the shit she did, but got her to accept that she did do it and that she couldn’t change what she did. When I first watched this film, I immediately expected Kim to be a major bitch, but she wasn’t. Seriously, these characters were so well written istg. Also, I know the kiss scene was deleted & I both agree & disagree about them deleting it (I shipped Jason & Kim, guys. Then again, I pretty much shipped them all at random times. Jason & Kim, Jason & Billy, Kim & Trini, all the Rangers in one big beautiful poly relationship etc) Yet, what I did like about it was how forward Kim was, most these teen based films, it’s always the guy who makes the first move, gives the first kiss etc, but ma girl, Kim WENT for it. I mean, she full on went for it & topped Jason. I have never stanned harder. You go, Kim! Again, I adored her. Enough said.

Billy Cranston: Blue Ranger, honestly the purest of them all. I loved this guy from the second he appeared (screw that asshole who broke his pencils in his first scene I’d have done more than just slapped that bitch istg), he cared so much about his mates, he gave everything into becoming a Ranger, like the guy was so pumped about becoming a superhero. Too pure for this world, I swear & was such a cheerful character, I mean, the poor dude literally died & he was still probs the happiest of them all. His friendship with Jason was literally one of the best friendships I’ve seen in a film between two dudes, they loved each other & were pretty much joined at the hip throughout the film, honestly legends. Again, these writers really wrote some bloody good characters, because they wrote Billy to be an autistic character & it’s rare to see representation of autistic characters, especially ones that are main characters, which is another reason why the character of Billy Cranston was greatly appreciated, because they handled it well. I will always love that scene where Billy is trying to explain his autism to Jason & he’s just like ‘you don’t have to explain it to me.’ Because Jason accepted him for who he is right away. This friendship was beautiful & the fact that we were robbed of seeing more of it in a sequel is a crime against nature.

Zack Taylor: Black Ranger, was honestly my dude. This guy was so much fun, but honestly, the stand out thing about his character was how much he loved his mother! I appreciate how realistically written these characters are, I really do. It was great to finally see a teenage character who was shown to be a care provider for a relative. It broke my soul when Zack said that his greatest fear was coming home & finding his mother dead, as someone who helps care for a relative, that is a very real fear & I appreciated how they wrote Zack’s explanation about his mother. Another thing I liked about him, was that even though he was a tease & flirted with Trini throughout most of the film, he totally cooled it down when she admitted that she was questioning her sexuality. Honestly, a character to stan here.

Trini: Yellow Ranger, an absolute mood. Oof, what a character. I honestly didn’t know that Becky G could act, but she honestly blew me away in Power Rangers. Trini was definitely one of the best characters in the film, she came across as tough as nails, but she slowly started to find a family in the Ranger Squad. Her & Kim were awesome (I pretty much ship all these characters in various ships, but I gotta admit, I got some hella gay vibes during that doughnut scene). She evidently had helicopter parents, but got on well with her siblings, even if one did say that he thought the Yellow Ranger was a dude, honestly iconic. There was an interesting part where she was talking questioning her sexuality & her parents want to use labels, again, these writers really gave it their all with these characters, because that is incredibly realistic & I really felt for her.

Seriously, this is an incredibly talented cast (Dacre Montgomery deserves whatever awards they can throw at him for Stranger Things) & is one of the more diverse casts I’ve seen in a film & the fact that they want to reboot it again without this cast is just wrong. Yeah, the story was a bit patchy in places, it wasn’t a groundbreaking film, but to me it was a masterpiece, because it made me feel things, it made me laugh, it gave me something I could escape to when I needed it. It had fantastically written characters that you could actually relate to and it was just a whole lot of fun. There’s so much shite out there these days that gets sequels green lit that isn’t nearly as half as good as Power Rangers 2017 was. They also didn’t give us a complete ending, what with the post credit scene, where it seemed like they were introducing their proposed version of Tommy Oliver. I wanted to see who they’d want as Tommy, how they’d write the character & how they’d change the character. I heard somewhere (don’t quote me on this I saw it on tumblr) that Tommy could’ve been a woman in this version, that would’ve been epic. They had so much potential there & they just gave up & decided to reboot because of what? Was it because the film did that badly, did the cast not want to do a second film? I totally respect them for that if they didn’t, but it totally sucks ass that they’re rebooting it again, because they had the perfect set up there, they had a banging soundtrack, the best cast known to man & god & PLEASE can someone create an actual Alpha Five? I need a motivational robot like that in my life.

Power Rangers 2017 deserved sequels.

However, if it must be rebooted, my fan cast for the reboot would be.

Dacre Montgomery - Jason Scott

Naomi Scott - Kimberly Hart

RJ Cyler - Billy Cranston

Becky G - Trini

Ludi Lin - Zack Taylor

Bill Hader - Alpha Five

Whoever they want for the rest of the cast.

POWER RANGERS 2017 DESERVED BETTER FOLKS.

✌️

[courtneyyharper]

Top 10 Netflix TV Shows to Binge during Quarantine & Chill

To help out my fellow friends in lockdown and so you don’t have to put up the standard Instagram story asking, I’ll be doing a quick countdown of my top 10 tv shows available on Netflix that will hopefully help you all pass this monotonous time.

This goes without saying but I’m going to say it anyways: all opinions are my own and as admittedly these are all very popular shows please feel free to shoot me suggestions to broaden my own horizons!

I’m going to try and create some semblance of order and countdown from 10! So, without further ado…

10. American Horror Story

Okays, so maybe not one if you scare easily although it’s definitely verging more towards the creepy and uncomfortable side than horror. The good thing about this show is if you don’t like the plot, not to worry because the next season is a completely different ball game with a new story, new characters and probably even a different time period, making the show more of an anthology than a series. A nice little link is the use of the same actors each season and if you look closely, you’ll see the Easter eggs and links between!

It remains popular amongst it’s fanbase and although the initial hype that made me jump on the bandwagon in 2011 has eventually died down it’s still one to check out, if at least just for the first three seasons, if you want something a little strange and peculiar.

https://www.netflix.com/title/70210884?s=i&trkid=13747225

9. Gilmore Girls

Set in the little dreamy American town of Stars Hollow with fast-talking sarcastic humour and a coffee-loving mother and daughter bond at the centre. This is one for those of us who appreciate many a cultural reference and enjoys many a love triangle. An easy watch with truly engaging characters you’ll be sad when this show comes to an end… but not to worry they do one more season, A Year in the Life, to wrap everything up with a bow.

Perfect for an easy watch about college, boys, and most complicated of all… family!

https://www.netflix.com/title/70155618?s=i&trkid=13747225

8. Prison Break

A true classic! You’d be hard pressed to find someone that doesn’t consider this show one of the greats. It’s the one your mum’s boyfriend will continue to talk about and recommend time and time again, right? Just me? Well I finally gave in and was caught into the binge that is Wentworth Miller.

We see him play Michael Scofield, a structural engineer who gets himself purposefully incarcerated in order to save his innocent brother Lincoln from death row, with a classic prison escape. If nothing else this show has you on the edge of your seat for the first season and impressed at the continual twists and turns the character relations and plot takes. This is a show you want to see before it is eventually spoiled for you…

https://www.netflix.com/title/70140425?s=i&trkid=13747225

7. You

Although by show of hands Joe Goldberg is decidedly just Dan Humphreys on steroids, I can’t deny that each Boxing Day that the new season was released it was binged in one day. See Joe fall in love and do anything to keep it. Character driven; monologue driven. Binging this show may have you questioning who’s side you’re on once you’re rooting for the murderer and it’ll make you gasp out loud while doing it.

Just don’t get too attached to any of the characters…

https://www.netflix.com/title/80211991?s=i&trkid=13747225

6. Stranger Things

With an entrancing 80s vibe aesthetic we centre around the small town of Hawkins and a group of best friends during the disappearance of their friend Will and the appearance of a young mute girl with a shaved head and some peculiar abilities. As the story unravels, we’re brought into the world of the supernatural and government conspiracies based loosely on some very real and very spooky Soviet Union experiments. You may also be thinking ‘hey, these kids look familiar’ and that’s right they’re in every other show with a similar 80s theme (see: IT and I Am Not Okay With This). Oh, and Winona Ryder.

I can see this show climbing the list when I finally get round to watching that last season…

https://www.netflix.com/title/80057281?s=i&trkid=13747225

5. Peaky Blinders

I’m just going to say it, it’s cool. What gang movie or show isn’t? We see the Shelby family conduct some dodgy business in 1919 Birmingham as part of the gang, the Peaky Blinders (based however loosely on the real Peaky Blinders street gang in Birmingham). Perfect for fans of DiCaprio’s Gangs of New York. Run ins with the law, underhand criminal happenings in the back room of a bar, gang wars. Have I said enough? Cillian Murphy in a suit perhaps?

The only thing that stops this show being further up the list is despite the overall plot being capturing, each individual episode runs slightly slow, although that won’t affect the awe-feeling at the end of each one.

If nothing else you’ll really get off on the fun of saying ‘By order, of the Peaky focking Blinders!’ again and again until you drive even yourself crazy.

https://www.netflix.com/title/80002479?s=i&trkid=13747225

4. Suits

This one nearly made me change my whole career path and choose law for a degree.

With this show you’ve really got to binge to keep up with the legal jargon but it’s oh so worth it. Mike Ross, an extremely smart college dropout is questionably hired by Harvey Specter, high flying lawyer for a prestigious New York law firm, all while hiding Mike’s secret. And wearing lots and lots of very nice suits.

You’ll be surprised how fast you get sucked into the daily going-on of the law office. Plus, you get to see Meghan Markle (fun fact: who’s real name is Rachel!) pre-royalty vibes. Sleek, sexy, sophisticated, sharp-dialogue and by episode three you’ll be singing the Greenback Boogie and buying your own ‘You Just Got Litt Up!’ mug by the end of the week.

https://www.netflix.com/title/70195800?s=i&trkid=13747225

3. Atypical

A truly honest coming of age story as Sam Gardner, a teenager on the autism spectrum, attempts to navigate high school, family, friends, love and… penguins? This is one where you’ll just have to trust me and watch to understand.

https://www.netflix.com/title/80117540?s=i&trkid=13747225

2. The Vampire Diaries

Now we’re getting down to the nitty gritty. Okays, yes, if you’re a regular binger then chances are you’ve already saw this show. This show has been on my favourites list since the day it aired in 2008. The first adaptation ever (it’s the English student in me, sorry) that was better than the book and with 171 episodes it’s the ultimate binge.

Vampires (not the sparkly kind), witches, werewolves and love triangles all clash in the small town of Mystic Falls. Granted it sounds like a chick-flick, but I know just as many boy friends as girls that have got sucked (ha, get it?) into this rollercoaster. This is my number one recommendation to anyone who asks for a new show and I’ll say now what I always say: give this show a go and once you get over the cheesiness of the angsty story-telling from the beginning of Season One, then it’ll be worth every moment.

https://www.netflix.com/title/70143860?s=i&trkid=13747225

1. Friends

Oh… my… god!

The one where it’s controversial.

You probably love it, hate it or if you’re a culchie then you’re most likely discovering it for the first time (which still baffles me). If you didn’t grow up with this show on E4 nine times a day before Comedy Central stole it then I do feel sorry for you. A truly iconic show and if you truly believe that loving it is not a personality trait then I beg to differ.

Six friends learn about life, family, careers and relationships in New York city.

With 10 seasons it’s the ultimate binge and will always place my number one!

https://www.netflix.com/title/70153404?s=i&trkid=13747225

Netflix Honourable mentions:

Money Heist (Season 1 and maybe season 2, we didn’t really need more after that)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Because obviously: nine nine!)

South Park (yeah I know, I was against this show for years but recently just caved and #noregrats)

Lucifer (sexy devil, need I say more?)

Rick and Morty (which was originally on the list but got bumped because I’m just watching the same episodes again and again until they’ve lost all meaning now)

I hope this has helped a few people out and cut down the endless hours of scrolling before just watching something you’ve saw time and time again!

Well that’s all folks! Stay safe and happy binging! ✌🏼

[alarajrogers]

Planet of the autistic people

I want to write a story about a planet of autistic people. Basically, far future, we’ve figured out how to terraform, Earth created colonies, and one of those colonies was created by autistics for autistics. So I’ve been trying to think through how things on a planet designed for us would be different.

Firstly, because it’s a future world and could not exist without technology, I’m going to make use of adaptive technology and assistive technology all over the place. That goes without saying. But on a planet of autistic people, the fact that some people may use heads-up displays that tell them what other people’s names are wouldn’t change the fact that many, many people would inherently just not recognize faces, or remember names, so the social norm of “you don’t care about me if you don’t remember my name” wouldn’t exist. People would generally introduce themselves whenever they meet unless they know the person very well.

I’m imagining people wearing badges (velcro’d or pinned to shirts, not attached to bodies, because skin sensitivity) that advertise their preferred communication modality. Everyone learns sign, speech and writing, to whatever extent they are able, and your badge will show your preferred modality. Maybe your preferred and whatever you are unable to do, as separate badges, so if Jack likes writing best but can do sign, and can’t talk, and Jill likes sign best but is dyslexic and can’t read, they’d recognize that sign is the best way for them to communicate even if Jack has a stronger preference for writing. It’s the future and it’s my personal quasi-utopia, so I’m going to imagine that assistive technology allows everyone to communicate even if it meant putting an implant in their brain when they were 6, but the general attitude of the planet of autistics is that modifying people should be done as a last resort, only when their problems are so severe that there’s no other way to let them do something vital. The ability to communicate is vital; the ability to do so via a specific modality is just a plus, and is not necessary, so teaching everyone multiple modalities of communication solves most people’s problems.

Some few people might speak mostly in icons. Their language centers can’t support something as complex as sign or writing most of the time (or maybe ever), so they learn a set of vivid icons that use color, shape and symbol to convey the most important things, so they can at least say things like “I’m hungry” and “No, I don’t like that.” Then they use a tablet or an assistive brain implant to produce the icons, maybe on a screen velcro’d to their shirt or something.

Restaurants use a badge to indicate that their menu hasn’t changed. (They can say so in advertising, too, but the badge allows you to quickly tell that the food is exactly what you expect.) All menus come with full ingredients lists and notes as to what can be swapped or left out, vs what’s an integral part of the dish. The philosophy of food service and for that matter child raising is that food that a person doesn’t hate and isn’t allergic to is a human right, so no one gets butthurt that their favorite recipe isn’t enjoyed by another person. Food service is much more necessary than on our world because it’s so very common that no one in a family can agree on a meal that everyone likes and can eat; food allergies, intolerances, and violent dislikes are normal. So there are a lot of services where meals will be made and delivered to your house. Also, pretty much any dish you want from any kind of food service will offer a tasting sample, so you can tell if you hate it before you order. It’s the future, so I think I can say that life-threatening food allergies are less common because there may be treatments for them, but it doesn’t do much good as an allegory for what I wish this world was like if I handwave the existence of food allergies away completely and say “no one ever gets those anymore”.

People looking for companionship might wear a different set of badges. These have icons indicating love, sex, conversation, cuddling, and side-by-side companionship, where you’re just in the room with the other person, not interacting much, both doing the thing you like. They can be combined (for example, there are many people who are interested in love and sex together, but not either of them separately). Places where you go to meet people might have sections where people sit where they are looking for a specific kind of thing, but these things are explicitly spelled out through the use of signs, and there is usually a poster displaying what the icons mean, in case you don’t know. It is never taken for granted that anyone knows a social norm; whatever people are expected to know, the information is provided. Signs are often accompanied by a video screen where a person will say what the sign says while another person expresses it with sign language. (Wow, I may need a new word for the kind of sign meaning you hang it somewhere and it conveys information in a static way.)

The basic idea I want to convey, really, is that the people here think it’s very important to express what they want, and what they can put up with, clearly, but don’t necessarily want to have to have conversations about it. The social norm would be that you don’t talk to anyone who isn’t somehow expressing that they are okay with a casual conversation, and that’s less likely to be body language than something they are wearing that explicitly expresses this information, like the green/yellow/red badges they use at some conventions nowadays.

No one’s gender is assumed. Maybe the language doesn’t even have gendered pronouns anymore. This is mostly because there’s a disproportionate number of autistic people who are also trans, nonbinary or non-gender-conforming, so rather than such people being a small minority that the cis majority can ignore, they’d be either a majority or a huge minority, like a third of the population.

I don’t know what else. There’s a whole lot. Cooldown rooms that are as prevalent as restrooms, where you can go if you’re overstimulated? Earplugs and VR glasses that assist in containing stimulus and reducing it to manageable levels are a common thing? Disabilities of all kinds are accommodated as part of the natural course because autism has a lot of overlap with many, many other disabilities?

Oh. Lying is a felony. Not like little white lies or an occasional blurted lie under high stress, but a consistent pattern of lying, on a planet where a lot of the people can’t lie and even more of them can’t detect a lie, is considered to be dangerous enough to make it a serious crime. There are obvious potential problems with this, but that’s a good thing, for fiction -- creating a society with no possible problems leads to boring stories.

Does anyone reading this have any ideas?