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tjemegames · 5 months

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HSR: HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY! 🥳🎉 - TJ's 1st Annual Playthrough Recap

The big day is finally here! One full year has passed since Honkai: Star Rail first launched and so much fun was had. I’m so pumped to officially be starting year two and I can’t wait to see what the Devs have in store for us. Until then, let’s chat about my experience over the last year:

⚠️ Extremely summarized spoilers ahead for the events/storylines of HSR versions 1.0-2.1. Read at your own discretion! ⚠️

Also, apologies in advance this post will be a bit verbose because I don’t know how to stop yapping about this game; we'll get into it all under the cut!

Stats Overview

Firstly, what can I say? I fell absolutely head over heels for this game on day one; I was initially a bit turned off by the combat mechanics when the teaser demos came out — I had a very limited experience with turn-based games at this point (shoutout Wizard101 💀) and was confused about how they were going about it. Suffice to say that my weariness was unnecessary because, as of today, I’ve logged 342 days of gameplay on my main account!

The Astral Express Annual Trailblaze Report (data collection as of 03/31/2024 at 23:59) had some great insight on the statistics of what I’ve done since launch:

My e6 Natasha and I were really doing the damn thing together for so long:

She’s since been replaced by Aventurine (because I was finally smart and pulled a premium sustain) but we had a good thing going for us. Thank you for paving the way, Dr. I won’t forget about all our struggles together.

Prominent Story Moments & My Thoughts on Storytelling

Once it was determined that combat wouldn’t be an issue for me, I immersed myself wholeheartedly into the lore and storytelling that was provided. I absolutely adored getting to know the Nameless better and exploring parts of the cosmos with the Astral Express Crew. We’ve done so much already:

Being coalesced into existence, fending off the Antimatter Legion’s relentless attack, and helping restoration efforts on the Herta Space Station

Becoming Herta’s guinea pig in the Simulated Universe

Dismantling a corrupt leader and freeing the under worlders in Belobog

Keeping the IPC from seizing the entirety of Belobog to pay off the backdated interest on their ancestor's 700-year-old unpaid debts

Foiling the war-motivated plots of an Emanator of Destruction on the Xianzhou Luofu

Business Simulator 1.0: Restoring Aurum Alley and making a grown man bark

Becoming the best Ghost-Hunting Content Creator on Ghostly Grove

Getting swallowed by a giant Swarm bug and being fender-bendered by a Knight of Beauty; having to duel him into acquaintance (because he’s just quirky like that) before witnessing him valiantly sacrifice himself for the Express, in the name of “Beauty” (because he’s also a little delulu), and then texting us once to see if we were okay after escaping through the hole he cut in the bug’s stomach. Subsequently, disappearing back into the cosmos without a trace (can you tell that I’m enamored by Argenti?)

Being drugged by Ruan Mei, having to deal with her experiments (I hate that synthetic bug with a burning passion) and becoming a Cat Cake extraordinaire.

Accepting the Charmony Festival invitation and having a “very heartwarming and uplifting” (aha aha-hA 😭) “vacation” in Penacony

And of course, so much more in between all of that but those were the things that stuck out the most to me.

I will say that I am in the camp of people who had to experience the Xianzhou storyline before it was streamlined for comprehension purposes and, as much as I loved it there, there were a lot of missed opportunities and wasted moments in that section of the storytelling. Not a huge fan of games trying to get me to care about something by forcing me into a nonsensical quest line during an ill-fitting moment, thereby muddying my understanding of what’s going on/what the importance of said thing is… But it is what it is, and they slapped a band aid on it for newer players. Hopefully, when we eventually return to the Luofu, they will have a better grip on what it is they want to portray there.

Overall, I’m not too fussed by the story so far. It’s been very enjoyable, extremely satisfying in some parts — a bit less so in others. One of the things that I love about sci-fi/fantasy is the ability to go all out and do pretty much anything you can think of because of the creative freedom that both genres allow. I think we’re just barely beginning to scratch the surface of what the series writers have planned for us.

Simulated Universe & Permanent Endgame Modes

Oh boy, I was almost home free in my drafting of this post when I remembered I hadn’t yet yapped about Simulated Universe, Memory of Chaos, & Pure Fiction. I am so sorry, I will try to keep it short, but I’ve got a lot of feelings about these permanent endgame modes.

Let’s kick it off with the SU. Back in the late summer of ’23 when we had our first bout of dry patches, I did more SU runs than I thought I ever would do because I didn’t want to stop playing the game. I was absolutely hooked, and I wanted to hone my skills prior to facing off against the next Echoes of War boss we would get. Within the first four months of launch, I think I had collected almost all the blessings, curios, and Aeon information that you could possibly get. Hell, there was even a day where I spent probably six hours just trying out all the different resonance paths against Gepard. It was so novel to me, and nothing like my previous experience with other rouge-like domains/dungeons – I just couldn’t get enough…

That was until they started patching in new updates. Swarm Disaster eviscerated all my excitement and desire for SU. I hate that bug; I hate that bug so very much. It’s only now that I have e2 DHIL that I don’t mind going back into Swarm and attempting to collect the rest of the rewards that have been sitting there waiting for me since its debut. The same kind of applies to Gold and Gears, although that mode is slowly starting to grow on me. I haven’t spent enough time in there playing around with all the different dice and strategies to have a definitive opinion on it. I’ll probably make some content of myself exploring the upper levels of G&G when I inevitably unlock them.

Now for the thing that would’ve really turned out to be an essay if I weren’t more capable of reining myself in; the curse that keeps on giving, MoC. Listen, I love this game. I love the combat and having to be a bit strategic, but sometimes floors 11-12 make me want to pull out the tiny bit of hair that my buzzed head tends to have. It took me 11 and a half months to 36 star the MoC for the first and only time that I’ve been able to do so. I’ve reset, changed teams, and fully rebuilt characters in attempt to beat floor 12 within 10 cycles more times than I can count. Sincerely, I wish we could’ve seen a year-end review of just the reset statistics alone. It is a source of infinite frustration for me, and it really shouldn’t be so goddamn difficult sometimes… Please Hoyo, just let me have my last star; I’m tired of sitting at 35/36 stars. There's only so much min-maxing a person can do before losing their mind.

Don’t think that I forgot about PF. Follow-up attackers’ paradise and what seemed like it would be a great time until I remembered that my only follow up attackers are Jing Yuan and an under leveled, mostly untouched Herta. This game mode is truly the one that got away for me. I’ve barely participated in it due to a lack of necessary characters. O7 to all the jades that I’ve missed out on. We’ll get there one day.

The Triumphs & Perils of Warping

What’s a gacha game without pulling? I’ve been keeping track of all my luck, both good and bad, since I started playing. This is what a year, 380 standard passes, and 1013 special passes got me:

Not a bad roster at all. There were a couple questionable choices made by me though. The lack of pulling a limited 5 star sustain until Aventurine came out being my biggest flop of them all. I did attempt to get Fu Xuan on her release banner, but I lost 50/50 and wasn’t willing to put everything I had into her at that time.

Out of all eight 50/50s I’ve had so far, I only lost three of them; I also pulled two of the following guarantees early after that so I’ve been a lot luckier than I thought I would be. My Genshin wishing experience sunk the bar for my pulling expectations well below ground, so everything feels like even more of a win here. I hope things continue to stay that way.

Another thing of note: I chose Bronya’s e1 from the standard banner selection reward once I hit the 300-warp requirement. I probably should’ve chosen Himeko for PF purposes but e1 was just too good to pass up for my hyper carry teams.

Also, Dr. Ratio gave himself to everyone (for free) in the pursuit of “curing idiocy” so that’s why I have him. Had I have been proactive in pulling his signature LC, I could be rocking a Ratiorine team right now – but no, instead he remains in Level 1 Purgatory with the rest of my unused characters.

Let us not forget about the light cones either:

I broke my one cardinal rule of avoiding weapon banners for this game, but I don’t regret it in the slightest — I did lose 75/25 to Sleep Like the Dead twice and then proceeded to get it a third time (from the standard banner), so I'm salty about that. Still no regrets though!

Final Thoughts

This game has been such a safe space of indulgence for me over the last year. It reminded me of my love for turn-based combat and strategy-based games. It has also helped me reinvigorate my creativity — this blog is proof of it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so enthralled, inspired, and passionate, so I’m grateful to Hoyo and all the HSR Devs for bringing this game to life.

While there have been some low points from struggling with story bosses, tediously challenging endgame, and incohesive plot lines, I have mostly found great enjoyment in my traversal of the stars thus far. I can’t wait to see who else I’ll meet and where this journey among the cosmos will lead me. I also look forward to sharing even more of my adventures and insights with all of you in the years to come!

Happy Anniversary, Trailblazers! May the next year be fruitful and fulfilling. Don't forget to sign in and collect your 1600 jades!

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr anniversary #astral express annual trailblaze report #hsr spoilers #hsr 1.0 to 2.1 spoilers #tj talks hsr #tj yaps so much in this post #i am so sorry #hsr character roster #hsr light cones #tjs hsr shenanigans #tjemegames

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pbandjesse · 2 years

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It was a dark and rainy day. The rain makes me tired. I did get a little nap in though. And I got to have a hoagie so it's been a pretty good day.

I was going to drive James to work because of the rain. But when James woke me up I was dizzy I was so tired. And it wasn't raining yet. So James told me to keep sleeping. The next hour and a half helped me feel a lot better but I was sad I flaked on James. I would pick them up later.

The rain was very bad though even I was getting ready to leave. I was running a little behind because I had to fix the insoles in my rain boots and then I had to change my socks. But I felt good. My picture for today I am not wearing the sweater dress I had on top of this outfit. But I worked really hard and got very sweaty so I am glad I had the tank top and leggings on. This was a smart move on my part.

Driving the camp was scary. The rain would pick up about half way through and it was so thick that my cars eyesight was turned off. I couldn't see cars in front of me if they didn't have their lights on. I had my flashers on because I was nervous about being seen. It was slow going for sure. But I would make it safely and only felt a little stressed.

I let James know I made it safe. And I let Alexi know I was over in the eyrie. She let me know that she had a tour group coming through and to let her now if I needed anything.

I would be pretty self sufficient though. I had organizing to do.

I was slightly overwhelmed though. The eyrie is where all the feild trip program stuff is. But it is also a classroom. Except two years ago a tree fell on it and the power has been out since. So now it's just storage and it has become just. A huge mess.

So when I first got in there I would just walk around and try to make sense of what I could do. I started with making piles of boxes and then figuring out which programs or what. I collected trash and figured out different types of things and put them in different piles in the room. My big goal was just to get everything off of the ground. And I think it's a good job I was in there for a few hours. But I felt very accomplished while I was doing it.

I also was just absolutely getting covered in their webs. That was like a theme of the day. There were so many boxes though and so much of them just had nonsense in it. Some of them were just empty. So I tried to collect things and make decisions on what was worthwhile to keep and what wasn't. The buckets that we used the other week for the water testing program we're all wet on the inside and so I separated all the pieces out and decided that some of that material I was just going to put to the side.

Some of the issue really is that I'm not familiar enough with the programs to really make calls on what is actually supposed to be in all the boxes. Like Elizabeth gave me a binder but having a list of words doesn't always help me because I don't know what I'm looking at. So I tried to at least make it so that when she goes in to get stuff for a field trips it's a little bit more streamlined. And she isn't climbing over trash. The ground is completely clear now. And the back shelf and table have all of the boxes that I think are full. And then the two classroom tables have the things that need to be distributed. And then I put all of the craft supplies in one corner. And then all the empty boxes in the other corner. It was a really nice time honestly. I had a podcast going and I was enjoying the sounds of the rain outside. And I just felt very peaceful.

I took a break and got a message on eBay as an offer for a watch I was looking at. They gave me 40% off so that was exciting. And then I was looking on Tumblr for a second and there's the thing about the blue check marks and so I was joking around with James about buying those and. Then I go on Facebook and my mood just shifted.

I saw that was my sister's birthday. The second one since she died last year. And I don't exactly know what to think about it. I texted Jessie and James right away. And both of them asked me the same thing. How do you feel? And I feel weird. I like to tell people that grief is just love that you haven't been able to express. But I think so much of my grief is still tied up and anger and regret. Disappointment. That it still hurts. And there's so much I don't even know about hers though. I tried. There's a long time where I didn't try. But I did try for a few years. I thought that we were adults and that we could get to know each other again but I didn't happen and now it never will. And I know that my dad hurts. And my mom hurts. And Renee hurts. And Raeanna and Wilson. And I feel selfish. To be angry. But I think that's just the reality.

When she first died I said it felt like she was a bullet that ripped through everything. All the time. And I'm talking about before she died. She would disappear for weeks at a time and then all of a sudden she was all anyone could think about or talk about. He's doing something outrageous and she was a topic of conversation more than a person to me sometimes. There were years I didn't see her. Years I didn't speak to her. So when she died it was almost like well okay. Not every day changes. But I am a different person I'm a different person than who I was last year. I'm a person that she's never going to know. And that doesn't feel very good.

I don't even know where I'm going with us but I was sitting there in that classroom. And I just felt strange. I felt sad.

And then I couldn't focus on cleaning my building anymore. I was in there for 2 hours and I had to go and be somewhere else. So I walked back to my car and I drove around camp to go to the office to start cleaning out the attic.

This was much more straightforward. I understood about all the materials up there and most of it was just things that needed to be put back in their places. And so I was up there for two more hours and I was sweaty and covered in spider webs and dusty. But I was making really good progress. Alexi would come back and she saw the hard work that I was doing. And I pass a snack and a soda. And I really made it a space where you could actually find stuff. The one thing I didn't do was towards the end I was just pulling out any craft supply and making a big pile. And I sorted through all of that to find all of the drawing utensils but I needed to eat something. I had only had crackers and Skittles today. So I put all the other craft supplies in one cardboard box to be sorted later and I went to check in with Alexi before I left.

Alex you know that I was going to work on the map that they requested this weekend and figure out some books that we could possibly use for the Native American program. We chatted for a few minutes. I told her that I found a bunch of beans in the attic and she thought that was very strange. And then I left.

I hope things I wanted a hoagie so bad. They suggested we get some fancy ones right in our but I was like no you don't understand I haven't eaten yet I'm just going to get Wawa. And so I drove out to cockeysville and I got Wawa and I ate in the parking lot.

An accidentally made my own hot at first. Which I'm sure would have been fine but was not what I wanted. I just wanted a cold cheese sandwich essentially. But once you removed it was really good and I didn't like my chips but they were good on the sandwich. I watched a video and had my food and then I was just like I got to go home. I am so tired.

I would get home at 2:00. Parked the car and came upstairs. The matching pajamas I got for me and James came in the mail. And I brought that up. And I texted James that I was laying down till 3:30. I should come get them. Wasn't raining anymore but James said that the radar said it would again so that was the plan.

I slept hard. I wanted to keep sleeping. But I woke up all dizzy and had to shake it off. It was storming again and I needed to get my love.

Honestly I probably shouldn't have been driving I was so delirious. But I safely made it. And swapped to the passenger seat. I texted with Jess. She is planning a Disney trip for us for 2024 and was crunching some numbers of what we need to save. $100 a month. Can do.

And then James was there. And I was so glad to see them. They were so cute in their sweatshirt. Love my James.

We went home and I laid down and looked at videos for a little while. But eventually would get up to do some art.

While I'm trying to stick to a schedule to not fall apart when it's dark, I am going to be flexible with myself. Instead of doing st from 7 to 8, I started it at 530, worked until 6, had spaghetti, then back to art until 730. I'm just glad I am doing art.

I worked on some more random stamps. I have a few ideas I just want to play with. So I'm just carving and trying stuff. And it's fun. I also made this animal head circles I am going to see as Christmas ornaments. I think it'll look so cute.

James helped me finish the backs of those. Trimming strings once the glue dried. And then it was time to clean up.

I took a bath. I got bath milk/bubbles that smell like hot chocolate. And it was an excellent bath. And now I am moisturized and in my new jammies.

I am tired. I am feeling a little empty but most because I want to go to sleep.

I love you all. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day. I have the market and then we are going to have dinner at Jack's and Cindy's new house. I'm looking forward to it.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well!!

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veebs-hates-video-games · 1 year

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Look at me continuing to not talk about 13 Sentinels next. I hope this doesn't turn into another XC3 thing where I keep saying I'm going to for several months before actually doing it. Definitely at least one of the top three things I've played this year that I got the most out of/had the strongest reaction to though.

Anyway I keep trying to find something else to play next after that that my brain will cooperate for and that I like enough. Persona 5 clearly wasn't it, but it did get me to go back to Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore for a bit, and that was fun. I remembered why I like it so much (same reasons as my previous post(s?) about it) and do still plan to finish it one of these days since I'm on chapter 5 of 7 or something, but I also remembered why I keep taking breaks from it too.

As much fun as I have with it it also could really have stood to streamline some things so they waste less time. The game would be like 20% shorter if I didn't keep having to go back to talk to Tiki and suffer through the most annoying menus ever every time I want to unlock a skill or upgrade a weapon, and also if it actually had a quest journal or some non-garbage way to keep track of stuff. I'm sorry I don't remember what this random NPC told me to go do last time I played the game literally a full year ago, and it doesn't help that they'll only repeat a single line of their dialogue to me that isn't enough to go on. It still never gets old that my party members will occasionally randomly burst into song and go 🫶 with each other and obliterate something with the moe moe kyun beam though.

And then I messed around with AI: The Somnium Files for a bit because it was on sale pretty cheap and people kept saying it was good. My initial impressions were that the detective vibe wasn't super my thing and that moving around the cursor to interact with stuff was more annoying and fiddly than it needed to be (seriously just put a tiny bit of "gravity" on interactable objects so you don't zoom past them accidentally and it would feel a lot better).

And then suddenly like 15 minutes in it went full nonsense, and mostly in a bad way. Like I'm all in favor of weird dream logic, although unless they get really clever with it later it would make puzzles/progressing the story essentially just guess and check if it's anything like the first dream sequence, which is not great. I could get over that and be slightly disappointed if that was all it was, but then the AI that lives in my character's brain gave a ghost handjob to a doorknob and a whole series of lazy horny jokes (not even clever or original ones) happened, and I was reminded that a friend had warned me it gets so much worse than that and decided to just pass on the game. Oh well.

And then the Children of Morta demo went even worse for me. The game is supposed to be rather good from what I've heard, but the Switch version doesn't seem like it. I just didn't love how the character felt to control, which is entirely personal preference, but also the load times are atrocious. It's a 2D game that's just pixel art. I have no idea what the heck it's doing when it takes like 30 seconds for load screens.

I'm still glad the devs seem to have finally had some success with it though, even if it's not a game for me. I always thought they had potential after they made Garshasp like 12 years ago or whenever. It was basically just a God of War knockoff, but it was still fairly impressive that a random small indie team in Iran decided to make a game about Persian mythology with very little previous experience and no local gamedev scene for support and somehow pulled it off anyway, and I was hopeful they'd get better with time. It's nice that they seem to have stuck with it and actually managed to get a pretty positive reception for this one.

The Fuga: Melodies of Steel demo was pretty compelling though. It seems like it's basically the horrors of war from the point of view of small children as not!France is invaded by not!Germany and they find a fantastical tank that they're using to try to save their friends and family, and also everyone is cats and dogs because why not? Some day when it goes on sale again I look forward to playing more of it.

And then finally another thing that went extremely poorly: trying to go back to The World Ends With You after not touching it for 547 days, according to the in-game message I got. After like 10-15 minutes I was reminded that it's completely genuinely and unironically one of the worst games I've ever played. Like specifically as a game. Lots of the non-game aspects of it are good or even great. I'm a big fan of the art style and music, the characters and their weird relationships are interesting, and I was curious about where the story was going, but I just can't suffer through the UI and controls and especially the combat any more to find out. I know I've said it before, but I still can't understand how a major publisher said "yeah this is fine, ship it the way it is" when it's barely playable. NEO: TWEWY supposedly throws all of that stuff out and starts fresh, so maybe that would go better for me.

I guess we'll see what my actual next thing I manage to latch onto is. Not any of these, apparently, although I did at least get several more hours through TMS#FEE this week.

#tokyo mirage sessions #ai: the somnium files #children of morta #fuga: melodies of steel #the world ends with you

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thereluctantinquisitor · 5 years

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just started to follow you recently but your ocs seems so interesting! have a nice day/night :D

Thank you! I have a silly amount of OCs, but I am glad you find them interesting!

For anyone who actually happens to be interested, I also have a writing blog over at @reluctantwrites where you can search by characters, ships, and genres :)

#admittedly i need to reblog a bunch of stuff over to the writing blog #>.>#ive been so bad at maintaining it haha #but yes there is a tags page that has a bunch of different navigation options #just to try to streamline my nonsense a bit more #<3 #reluctant replies #vaughn-the-bandit-king

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razorblade180 · 3 years

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Interdimensional Moms pt4

Part 3 here! <-

The tales had be interesting. The tales had even been emotionally gripping, yet all of them so far didn’t seem to register at the moment as Ruby’s teammates looked at her with the same excitement she used to give her own mother during story time. Ruby couldn’t help but give a little smile.

Ruby:I take it you’re ready for my turn? You do know it’s not exactly a sunshine and rainbows story, right?

Weiss:We figured as much, but....

Yang:You’re so different! From the moment you showed up I could just feel it in my gut. You have this...presence about you. Not to mention intsene confidence.

Blake:Yang is right. You said you beat your Salem when your seventeen. That’s...scary if I’m being honest. Such a drastic departure from any of our worlds.

Ruby:*red* Hehehe ummm I guess I’m just awesome? Really I don’t think it’s the most outstanding feat. At least by my worlds standards I suppose. I mean sure, I’m consider cream of the crop there too but there’s talented people and challenges all over that would put me through my paces still. I’m just...me.

Weiss:Sigh...honestly, I suppose that means our own skills must pale in comparison to our counterparts.

Ruby:Mmmm I wouldn’t say that for sure. My Yang would kill me if she heard this but there’s something about the one right here that has spark I dig.

Yang:Really?

Ruby:Uh huh. Can’t put my finger on it but I think you take her if you want it bad enough. As for Weiss....couldn’t tell ya. Haha, I know better than anybody to not underestimate the power of mother, and you pumped twins out.

Weiss:Not sure if those are pity points or real ones but thanks either way.

Blake:You don’t even have to tell me I’d lose. Just gave an entire story about me an my condition.

Ruby:Don’t feel too bad about it. I can’t imagine much reason for you two to fight for any reason. You’re both too reasonable to not reason with yourself.

Blake:Aw I’m touched.

Yang and Weiss:We aren’t....

Ruby:Hahaha I’m just saying! So, I guess I take things from the top like you all? From what I learned from all of you our Beacon experiences really are more or less the same, not counting certain interactions between a bookworm faunus and an adorkable blonde knight. Enrolled early, blew up the entrance, Weiss was rude, Yang ditched me, all the same beats.

Yang:There’s no super badass change like you beating Cinder the night of dance and making our entire lives easier?

Ruby:Ha! I wish I was that legit. No, I was very much the young girl tripping in heels that night. Vytal festival came around and was attacked, then Beacon fell. Pyrrha was lost and so was Penny. Difference being that was my last time seeing her, unlike Weiss’s story apparently.

Weiss:Yeah that...that’s a little bit of shock to be frank. Sorry.

Ruby:No worries. Not like you did anything and it was decades ago for me now. After that day is when I started to get a bit more serious I think. I had always taken being a huntress seriously and never slacked of in trying to live my dream. However, my perspective may have honed in on just how do or die life his when you’re the one choosing to walk into unknown danger. Team RNJR’s first and only mission, save the world!

Yang:Sub mission: Flirt with Jaune Arc.

Ruby:*blushing* We do not choose who we fall in love with it. But yes, that may have been a personal pseudo mission for me. He’s my first friend at Beacon for crying out loud and I you know.....thought he was cute then too.

WBY:Yeah that checks out.

Ruby:What does that mean!?

Weiss:Ruby, even my Ruby admits to finding Jaune attractive and having a crush on him back in the day.

Blake:Same.

Yang:I already went into enough detail on how my little sister feels about Jaune. Your just the reality where you pounced on the opportunity and never let go. Struck when the iron was hot and none of us were around; sly fox.

Ruby:Gee you make it sound underhanded. It isn’t like I intended to actively pursue him. Everyone was really sad and stressed traveling to Anima. There was a tension in the air. One that really strained us. I did my best to keep focus, but a leader is only as put together as team. Ren and Nora confided one another as usual and I tried being there for Jaune because seeing him emotionally shut down was rough; so I did my best to be there for him. Then...he ended up being there for me and I was the one who needed comfort. All the airing out and late nights just...led to....*red*

Blake: “Breaking the tension?”

Ruby:I guess that’s one way of putting it. We were lonely. I hid my feelings best I could under the veil of comfort in the moment. Not that needed to. He made it pretty clear that he wanted me in the same way I wanted him. I just the two of us were too scared to ask for promises we weren’t sure we could keep so we loved in the moments we could, so to speak.

Weiss:If it wasn’t under dire situations, all that sounds oddly romantic.

Ruby:Right!? Looking back at it makes the entire thing seem romantic but I definitely wouldn’t wish a similar experience on anybody! I guess it’s what I wished for when I fantasized huntress life huh? Things obviously got better along the way. Our relationship got a bit more serious right before we got to Haven. Then Tyrian and other crazy stuff happened that threw all of us into panic mode again before slowly getting better again by a lot.

Yang:We showed up?

Ruby:Bingo! You and Weiss, met Oscar, and then eventually Blake came back. Things were on the up and up.

Weiss:Uh, Haven attack?

Ruby:We lived, up and up. Yeah you got stabbed but you know...that’s not new I’m sure.

Weiss:Yeah I have the scar and I’m still little pissed.

Ruby:Valid. Anyways, so my Atlas experience was different as hell. There was no formation of Remnants armies like Weiss spoke of or even between two kingdoms like Blake. Yang, what happened yours again exactly?

Yang:Nonsense. Cinder showed up with lackeies but not Salem’s lackies. Those people showed up separately, then Adam came back from wherever the hell he- a lot! A lot of people showed up for different reasons but also the same reason and to be frank, we all almost got shot by the military for being in bases that quote unquote, “didn’t exist.”

Ruby:Man I wish we traded. That at least sounds crazy enough to be fun. Just a rollercoaster in the dark basically. My experience was probably as hectic, but also way more streamlined. We showed up, and then all hell broke loose. Specially a mass grimm invasion lead by Cinder and her annoying associates. We were there for about three weeks updating General Ironwood and getting our barrings together when it happened. I wanna call it a hit and run tactic but it was clearly planned in advanced. Mechs were hacked again, traitors in the military, grimm lying in wait before hand; it was chaos! All for the relic.

Blake:Who was the maiden?

Ruby:Never met her. By the time we got there, Ironwood was panicking because she had vanished, taken right from under his nose. It was some young girl apparently, really young. The attack on Beacon looked like child’s play to this. Mantle got attacked, grimm were on the chains, they tried dropping Atlas to the ground; all a diversion for a relic. We all should’ve died, and yet, we didn’t. Winter and Weiss weeded out traitors, huntsman and military held the line, Yang bested Hazel with Nora, Qrow and I cut down Tyrian! Ren, Blake and Jaune helped the kingdoms while Ironwood struck down Watts. Nobody was in the mood to die that day. There wasn’t gonna be another Beacon. By all means, we were pissed. Even Raven showed up of all people.

Yang:What!?

Ruby:You can’t attack a kingdom without the world knowing. Especially when traitors leak info. Honestly she came for you though, or she never left to begin with. Couldn’t tell ya. Thanks to Maria I had a bit more handling with my eyes. That helped a lot. Without them and Os-

She stopped herself, choking on the words. The zest and excitement of recalling the heroic feats of her friends dimmed slightly with her smile. Her joyful smile became bittersweet like the memory.

Ruby:Then there was Oscar, the real warrior on that flamed filled night. That battle had to have been three days at least. We were so driven, and so tired. I was tired, but Cinder, Neo, and the others with her at the time weren’t; always showing up at the worst time. I managed to push Cinder back in a fight but grimm and others still swarmed. We were at a point that grimm very well might’ve did us in and the villains didn’t have to push any harder. But Oscar changed that. Hehe, what’s it about country folk that makes people like him and I not hesitate to grit our teeth? That dork looked at me, gave me the biggest smile on the the steps to Atlas, and then he left. His hair went white as he twirled the cane and then he left, forever. Oz came out, and he left nothing to the imagination. “Limited magic” my butt. He obliterated grimm and made a barrier aroma Atlas while everyone else cleared Mantle long enough for the world to send reinforcements. Salem didn’t get the relic, but she got the maiden and thousands of casualties. Oscar being one of them. Also, Whitley....he was in critical condition for a very long time.

Weiss:What do you mean...critical condition?

Ruby:Everything happened so fast Weiss. Panic was high, buildings fell....a piece on him. I wasn’t there but when I eventually found you, you were nearly hysterical and banged up. By some miracle he lived even though we could not reach him and he did not get aid for awhile. We thought him dead. It was only after everything we learned somebody got him. Being rich never paid off more than with medical bills. Thanks to youth and medicine he can still walk, but he can only do so much before being tired. He also left Atlas. The cold hurts.

Weiss:So, I run the company because he can’t?

Ruby:I wouldn’t put it that way, but it was one of dozens of reasons that made that goal stronger for you. Relax though, both of you get plenty of time to be witty siblings like I told you earlier.

Weiss:I know. It’s just, I guess it’s hard imagining Whitley hurt like that. I don’t think I could handle it.

Ruby:You definitely teetered in the moment. Knowing that happened though probably gave you anger and grit to fight the entire battle. You were a beast. Scarier than Winter. Anyways, that hollow victory was a real wake up call for the world. They didn’t know about Salem and we never told society in earnest. Cinder and other conspirators were enough to make Remnant work together to boost defense. Relief went to places that needed it and I, became the face of hope. Haven, Argus, Atlas, even people from Vale got to chattering of a particular group of people who always seemed to answer the call for help. Then the towns in between chattered. Yours truly had been carving a name in the history books and was only gain popularity the moment I stepped into Vacou, alone.

Blake:Alone!?

Weiss:What!?

Yang:Where were we!!!!!?

Ruby looked at surprised faces around the table, smiling tenderly. She looked down her dress and pulled out the cross she wore around her neck. Her thumb traced its edges as her mind began wandering down an old path paved with emotions raw to the core.

Ruby:I’ve always felt different. Not just because of my eyes but that there was just...a certain spark that never stopped going off for as long as I remember. There are plenty of people who can’t bare to watch others suffer, but there are fewer people I believe that truly feel the agony of other people’s pain. Beacon, Haven, Atlas, Argus; there was no place I went that I didn’t see the faces of others lamenting, and I didn’t make me want to grieve. Atlas took so much out of all of you and I just felt so....driven to stop that ache. For everyone’s sake, but mine as well. I wanted the world to finally get to the happy ending. Enough trauma had be sowed for a hundred lifetimes, so I went on ahead of everyone. I never doubted you all would follow but I wanted to get ahead of the curve and take on as much of the suffering I could do others wouldn’t. If the world wouldn’t give me a miracle than I’d be it myself for everyone else.

Yang:That’s suicidal! Salem wanted you specifically!

Ruby:It’s not like I went marching up to her door and said “1v1 bitch, I’m here” no, I just chose to move forward quicker than what we were all doing. Believe me, all of you were upset when you caught up, after I had already saved Vacou. *smiles* I really like that place. I told the people it was the next target and all they did was double down on pushing back. I managed to pin down the Summer maiden before the villains and thanks with the city on alert, there wasn’t a shift in the sand that didn’t go unnoticed. I got the jump on Mercury and Emerald, personally paying them back. Can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. It didn’t take long before they realized how screwed they were with them being outed like this and Cinder having the nerve to retreat before hand. Both of them threw in the total, outing the plan against Vacou. A wipeout of a win. Not to mention they told me the location Salem’s little hiding hole.

Weiss:We missed all of that?

Ruby:That’s what happens when I leave in the dead of night and running on adrenaline. Like I said before, people were tired. As much as all of you wanted to hoof it, other’s were relying on you. Atlas almost dropped for gods sake. Eventually when you all caught up it was at a good time. Soloing was rewarding but difficult. Fortunately Sun, Neptune, Ilia, and a few other familiar faces were close by if I needed an extra set of hands. My little stunt earned the anger of everyone for awhile.

WBY:Yeah no shit...the leader left.

Ruby:Yang was the most upset, followed by Uncle Qrow, and you Weiss. I was ready for the blowback. Jaune and Nora saw me though and bursted into tears. Hehe, wasn’t ready for that. Felt terrible and cried back. To prevent that stunt again, my Yang convinced Raven to link me. A couple days of apologizing and rest smoothed things over. It also gave time for just a few close friends and colleagues to get together for an assault on Salem’s castle. A few were apprehensive about it at first but at the end of the day I was going. That attitude was infectious apparently. You guys, actually everybody, they started getting this hunger to end it all. Maybe it was the high of victory? Regardless, it sent me racing to the end with those that I loved most.

Yang:You’re a real “my way or the highway” kind of Ruby. I don’t get how that explains what made you so...elite.

Ruby:I’m not sure what to say. A fight needed to to fought so I fought it. A cry for help was heard so I ran to it. A grimm needed slaying so I slayed it. People needed me to win so I didn’t dare think of losing. Dying was never option, even when it stared me right into my eyes. I had things I wanted to do and people I wanted see for years to come. I guess...I am strong because of the fact I want things my way. A moment I’m not giving it 110% is a moment wasted. After all, a huntress is all I ever wanted to be.

A single dream she wanted since birth. The never ending desire to be the hero in stories told to her many nights ago. That’s all it ever was. That’s all it’s ever been. Even in meadow of beautiful red roses, one would be the rose that captured the eyes of many, that bloomed stronger than the rest. As simple as it was, that had to be the answer here. Weiss, Yang, and Blake were in front of that flower. The Ruby Rose that simply bloomed stronger than the rest. The one that clung to her dream as if letting go meant dying itself. The devotion was inspiring, yet also overwhelming. If this was Ruby they had lead them that day in the Emerald Forest, could they have kept up? Could she be the leader they followed? No, they couldn’t have. Something deep down inside them gave them that answer. No matter how she looked and how much she loved, this Ruby Rose was cut from a cloth they simply weren’t off. The same as others, but oh so different.

Weiss:You’re....kinda a monster, you know that right?

Yang:Seriously, I’m so...floored. It’s intimidating.

Blake:Not to mention humbling. I used to think I gave it all I had. Now I’m not so sure.

Ruby:Oh don’t be like that you three! You’re all living proof there was more than way to go about life, this war! Everything you gave was enough because you’re done with it! Nobody failed. Besides, I...am far from ideal. The assault was challenging. Getting around hoards of grimm and making it to Salem was hell made real. Neo tried taking another shot at me but Yang held her off with help. Everyone pushed the obstacles in front of me out of the way as I went to Salem herself. Cinder had been abandoned by her and stripped of a lot of her powers. Angry and desperate, she tried killing me again as a way to prove worth. I beat her. However, I let her walk away.

Yang:What!? Why would-

Ruby:Naive, I was...naive okay? She was all spent and though I hated her, I just couldn’t. Not when I looked into her eyes and saw that same hunger I had to claw and scream at my dream until it was in my hands die inside her. We both knew from this point on there was absolutely nothing she could do where this ends her way. All she worked for turned burned to ash. So I gave her the choice to not burn up with it. Cinder swallow her pride and then fled. A part of me couldn’t help but rationalize killing her didn’t solve or justify any of my beliefs or desires. It would’ve done it because I hated her like she hated me. That was the dumb logic of a seventeen year old who never quite learned to take things slow.

Blake:....I don’t think it’s dumb. Naive for sure, but maybe that’s good? Even my Ruby, she never wanted to act on hate. She didn’t. Salem lives.

Weiss:Mine sent her soul to be at piece instead of passing a cruel judgment.

Yang:As a person who’s seen what you looked like with nothing but vengeance inside, I can say it doesn’t fit you. Before that day you had a warmth inside you to even foes that were somewhat admirable. You chose to leave Cinder’s fate up to those who had that hate and Salem was undone by her own doing at the very end. That’s what really makes you special Ruby. That’s why you’re called an honest soul. Good will is your nature.

Ruby:....Hmm, you sure know how to butter me up. *scratches head* I guess that part of me is uni-I mean multiversal. Strangely, that makes me feel better, to a degree.

Weiss:Do we even have to ask what happened to Salem at this point? I doubt the story ends with you loosing and having to retreat.

Ruby:Who’s to say it doesn’t? I could’ve been beaten to death before the gods themselves descended down to revive me with awesome power.

Yang:....Did you?

Ruby:Wh-No! Haha, I made her an immortal statue.

Blake:I-It was that easy?

Ruby:Well I wouldn’t call rushing into hell’s castle easy, or Salem. I lit her up at least a dozen times. My head pounded from each use, I was tossed around a bunch, magic is annoying, and not to mention running out of ammo. I left nothing to the imagination in that fight. If it were easy then I wouldn’t be rooting my horn and my age doing it. I was so tired I blacked out afterwards. I woke days later with a sore body and the title of “Remnant’s Savior.” Apparently beating Salem had weakened the grimm everywhere and all of you made sure who was to be thanked for it. That’s the tale of how I saved the world with my friends. Love, trust, elbow grease, and a lot of bullets. Before the final battle, Ozpin had struck a deal with everyone involved. In return for saving the world, he’d cut ties with us.

Yang:Seriously? What brought that about!?

Ruby:Good or not, he lied and was a schemer. Sure I was gonna try to save the world regardless of his interference but there wasn’t a person alive that didn’t to finally take a step towards the future after all this. All of us finally had time chase dreams and help the world the way we wanted to before all of this. Blake begin mending hate, Weiss took back her company, if Yang wasn’t with Blake then she was seeking more answers to Raven on wild adventures.

Yang:You mean Raven still left after all that!?

Ruby:In her defense, both of you made everything fucking awkward when she was around. It’s like you both wanted to talk about something but knew any subject was a land mine so you all you ever did was...stare, like weirdos. Glad that’s in the past. She just lives with dad now and you two now to hold a conversation. I dare not ask for more. I’d be a granny by the time I did.

Yang:Sigh...I don’t know what I expected. Shit it the fan several times and children were born before mom and I found solidarity and understanding. What did you do afterwards? Your goal was already met.

Ruby:Like hell it was! I started busting my butt traveling around the world, visiting every place to help in anyways I could. Ren and Nora tagged along for awhile before going off to make an orphanage in Anima near Ren’s old village. That left Jaune and I to do our hero thing.

Yang:As well as other things....

Ruby:Hey, what can I say? We were young and going up in the world. By the time I was nineteen, I was now a married to my partner and best friend.

Weiss:Uhhhh-

Ruby:He’s my partner on RNJR and you’re my BFF, gosh did I really need to explain that hehe?

Weiss:I just had to make sure. Crazier twists could happen.

Blake:Wow you married young. Not that there’s a problem but I’m surprised. Then again you also dated earlier than my Ruby. Hehe, weapons were on her brain for a long time.

Weiss:No kidding. When I learned about you crushing on my brother I was shocked to find out you liked anybody in general. Especially a person who isn’t a weapon nut in the slightest.

Ruby:*shrugs* All you’re telling me is I’m clearly the most impatient or impulsive Ruby you all know. Don’t know how that happened. Maybe I was dropped as a baby or had one too many coffees growing up?

Weiss:I’m willing to bet it’s both.

Ruby:Ruuuuude. So yeah, that’s...the story of how I saved the world and married Jaune. We even built a home just outside Vacou, overlooking the kingdom and neighboring town in the distance where Maria grew up. Yeah, that’s me....more or less. All the triumphant parts anyways. Anything later on is......

.......

Blake:R...Ruby? You okay?

Ruby:Nope, not really. *clenches cross*

Yang:......You know, I never really got religion, especially after learning the truth. It just seemed completely hollow when you learn of the real gods, ya know? However, I changed my tune a bit after being a parent and then some more when uncle Qrow died. It was never really about the truth behind if those other gods were real-

Ruby:It’s the piece of mind in believing in a better place for loved ones and having people watch over you. It’s truly based on blind faith in every sense but that’s okay as long as it gives peace of mind, to stay strong. Yeah....that’s why I wear this.

Yang:If that’s the “why” then I guess the unavoidable question is what happened?

The reaper leaned back in his chair, letting out a long sigh. Ruby brushed her hair out of her face while her face went pale. Then, Ruby’s eyes, her teammates watched a pair of stunning silver eyes dim, becoming akin to a clouded mirror.

Ruby:Being a huntress was all I wanted. The plan of having a family and settling down never appealed to me much. I feel, I felt like being in the field was where I was meant to be. It’s where I was most myself in a way. So the day I learned that I was pregnant was more than a little upsetting and terrifying, until dad and time itself filled me with the most genuine joy I may have ever experienced. Dustin Arc Rose, my first born son. He opened a door to a world and life I never knew I wanted to be apart of. Then...that door was shut minutes after, when Cinder and Neo stole him right from my arms. I couldn’t do a single thing about it other than blackout. That single act of good will I showed, it did nothing but kill me inside. The same way I did to her.

WB:.....

Yang:Ru-Ruby....your eyes.

Ruby:Hmm? Are they clouded? Funny, I would’ve thought your Ruby would’ve had a similar change. Maybe that’s a world exclusive thing, or a testament to the will you Ruby has to endure. Clouded eyes on a silver eyed warrior means the person has lost the desire or rather the mindset of persevering life. Be it their own life or wanting to end another’s life out of resentment, strife. My entire world fell apart when I woke up and learned nobody was able to retrieve Dustin. I was in pieces, Jaune was broken, nobody was the same. There wasn’t a soul we didn’t know that hadn’t tried to find a lead, but we never did. He was just...gone; and I couldn’t cope at all.

Weiss:I don’t think any mother could. Ruby, I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Ruby:I’m sorry too. I lashed out in anger, and shut people out. My eyes clouded and I dove into my work for a little over a year doing nothing but searching aimlessly as I took and every job back to back. The more time went by meant the more people eventually had to go back to their own, and it drove me up a wall inside. No one could reach me. I didn’t want anybody to. Not even Jaune. I....*teary eyed* I left him alone in house. There was no part of me that could even attempt to understand his pain because I was drowning in mine. I was told he tried his best to catch them at the hospital. I never hated him for not succeeding but I...he... I just, I can’t. I don’t know what I thought. All o knew was I didn’t even want him to touch me. How cruel is that? *hugging herself* I made him drown in despair in the same way I was. I wasn’t home so often that I never realized he eventually left it abandoned to live with dad. Yang and Blake I didn’t even show up to your wedding. Jaune did that much. Hell, Raven attended. Ruby Rose as a person didn’t exist any more. I was only a wandering huntress looking for answers or the challenge that might’ve ended me.

Blake:What changed?

Ruby:Oz, he did what nobody else dared to do. He fought me. I don’t think he thought twice about it. He was prepared to accept all the anger I kept inside until I eventually broke down into tears like I’m trying not to do right now. Thinking about that time is still, extremely difficult. Oz let me lament, encouraging me afterwards to finally except the fact Dustin was gone and that I needed to process it properly. First I went to you Yang, in order to have a my big sis to lean on. Can you guess how that went?

Yang:With me holding you tighter than I ever had before.

Ruby:*smiles gently* I don’t deserve you. You and Blake then came to patch with me where everyone else waited for me and helped me face Jaune. That may have been the hardest thing I’ve done. Grieving or not, the fact that I left him in such a state. I know what that does to people firsthand and yet I left. For the first time in over a year we embraced and finally grieved together. The next two years were spent trying to heal and cope. During my time away the world had fully acknowledged me. I even got a proper nickname, but it all felt hollow. Imagine that, achieving your dream but not caring? If that’s not salt in a wound then I don’t know what is.

Weiss:What’s your title?

Ruby:I am the person people want to see when evil comes to cut their story short. I am a symbol that their tale still has more to tell. Remnant has named me The Storyteller. Curtsey of Maria, who spread the name around. Healing was slow and most nights I felt a pain in my heart, but then everything changed. One moment made me dare to try again to open that shut door in my life. *looks at Yang* I held your son in my arms. Sweet little Kovu.

Blake:*smiles* Kovu? Now I wonder who named him?

Yang:*red* Huh...how about that? Hehehe, wish I could meet him. I know he isn’t technically mine but I can’t help but feel all warm now. Also I can’t believe I named him that!

Weiss:I can. Veronica’s middle name is Nala.

Yang:Okay, maybe not marrying Blake was a win? Clearly I can’t be trusted to not name my children after other cats.

Blake:The wrong kind of cat too. I’m a panther faunus, not a lion. Even if they’re blonde that’s still false advertising of what they are.

Ruby:Well Yang was the one giving birth so you lost a majority of the option to complain.

Blake:That is fair.

Weiss:You gave birth to Vee, so I think that solves who picked her first name.

Ruby rested her head in her propped up hands that rested on the table. She felt exhausted reliving that chapter of her life mentally. Still she managed to smile, then smile bigger. Her eyes unclouded and a warm feeling filling her again. What Ruby said earlier about what made her different may have reign true, but her friends could since that there was now more to it. Ruby had spiraled into an unimaginable tragedy, yet was able to bounce back thanks to loved ones. To smile as she does, it was truly a strong sight to see. Even if she wasn’t fully aware of that.

Ruby:Carmine Arc Rose, my second born and the first child to call me mommy. Followed many years later by itty bitty Garnet. He’s my little man, five years old while is big sis is seventeen now.

Yang:Damn! That’s a gap. Oh, also congratulations. Almost forgot that part. I’m glad you got to be the super awesome mom that-

Ruby:I am easily C-teir.

Yang:Oh come on! What!?

Ruby:Listen, I know I got on you all for calling yourselves bad parents, but I will hear no debate about me understand!? I flop a lot of times.

Weiss:That doesn’t make you a C-teir. That makes you a new mom, silly.

Ruby:*grumbling* I agree to disagree but thank you. It’s just a lot okay. Too much to dive into honestly.

Blake:Summarize. Give us an abbreviated version.

Ruby:Ummm so Carmine is real special kid. The absolute love I have for her is unbreakable but gods damnit if she isn’t the most... “me” I could be! In a way similar yet different from myself, Carmine has always had this sense of urgency in her and a love for the world around her. She recognizes that it’s a fragile piece we have and just how hard I’ve worked with everyone to make it. I could tell that from her when she was five. I’d sound crazy, but the fact she used her eyes at the age proves I’m not.

Yang:She has silver eyes!? Why didn’t you bring that up?

Ruby:I thought that was obvious. All of my kids were born with then. Unlike her baby brother though, Carmine was a weird little kid. She didn’t socialize well. Still doesn’t, she’s kinda comes off rude and cold because of her bluntness. She doesn’t really express all her feelings or understand others fully. One might call her a little cold but the passion she had to protect life itself is a testament to how much she cares. Carmine is also a genius fighter. To put in perspective, people use the same nickname for her that they used for Pyrrha.

WBY:Oh....

Ruby:Yeah! It’s not hyperbolic to say ever since Carmine is far beyond any skill I was at her age since she turned thirteen. You called me a monster earlier but no, I merely gave birth to a beast. I mean she could pass the huntsman exam at fifteen if I didn’t make her wait. I can’t call her arrogant, she talks with confidence because she has that right by all means. Still, besides her face, that’s where the similarities start separating; besides terrible grades in general stuff. We’ve never been in step completely. To put simply in her own words, “What I am is a hero, while she is a huntress.” That good will and mercy I try to give everyone isn’t how she rolls. It drives a real wedge that has resulted in us not going on missions together.

Blake:Is she...killing?

Ruby:She has before, and it had valid reasons entirely, but I also know for a fact she is more than capable of bringing down people without taking that step. Not all cases are that intense thank goodness. Her overall aggressiveness is the root of the problem. You don’t have to put you back into it when handling thugs. They aren’t Hazel.

Yang:Ooo okay, yeah I’m seeing what you mean now. It’s like that one comic you always read!

Ruby:Sigh...yeah she channels a bit of Batman energy and I need her to not do that all the time. I suppose being an honest soul isn’t particularly hereditary. It always feels like we aren’t enjoying each other’s company these days. I can’t blame her though. So....you know how all of you have had one serious problem that has both destabilized yourself as well as the kids and their relationship to you? *clouded eyes*

Weiss:Wait...you loosing a child wasn’t that?

Ruby:Oh it was. It just so happened that it never ended. It grew day by day. Night by night. Jaune and I were cautious with Carmine. Going as far to give her contacts and giving birth to her off the record and not at a hospital. Just in case Cinder came back. Well, Cinder and Neo came back, with my Dustin.

Nobody said anything. What do you even say to that!? All they did was let out a stifled breath and tried to gauge Ruby’s look of guilt.

Ruby:Yet again we had gotten too comfortable. It happened when Carmine was thirteen. I don’t think Garnet was even one yet. That’s when the cruelest realization hit me. My son had been alive and hearing about how his so called mother being a person who saves everyone, yet she never came for him. She had moved on, letting his eyes become clouded with such seething hate for the world she did save; the children she had after. It’s been four years since the day he attacked Carmine and helped grimm try to invade Vacou. To this day it’s been a life of staying on gaurd, searching for them as they popped up countless places to tear Remna- to tear me down and I can’t decide what part hurts the most. The amount of anger that prevents me from killing Cinder in a blink of an eye, or looking at my daughter who has told me herself that she is going to kill her older brother because I’m too weak to do so. That I’m in no way as good as the world believes me to be. *puts hood up* Like I said, C-teir mom, at best.

Blake:That’s- you can’t- there’s no way for you to reach him? Maybe if you-

Ruby:He looks at me the same way Neo and Cinder do, Blake. They raised him to hate me. Besides, he hurt Carmine. She’s just not gonna let that slide and frankly I shouldn’t either. Carmine acts tough and for the most part is, but gets terrified like everyone else. In many ways she’s still just a young girl that I wish had never chosen to become a huntress. If I had it my way she’d just be a normal girl with normal knees; but her mother’s weakness and inexperience wrapped her up in yet another war. It’s ironic. I barely remember mom and yet I ended up putting my family in very similar situation as if she lead instruction. Happy endings, I’m not sure if I get-

Yang:You’re better than mom....

Ruby:......

Yang:Yeah I said. Look I love Summer Rose but at the end of the day she wasn’t around, not that she didn’t want to be, but it’s the truth. Several years of pleasant childhood memories and a lifetime of grief is what she left me, and all you got were tales you should’ve experienced first hand. Ruby you have spent seventeen years loving your daughter unconditionally and being there for her no matter if it’s for better or worse. Yeah you might not being doing it perfectly and I have no idea how to even fathom your predicament, but at least you are there trying. Take it from me, that’s all a daughter ever wants from their mother. It’s also what makes a pretty kick ass dad. *smiles* Chin up, hero. Your story isn’t over yet after all.

Silence filled the air and Ruby’s throat ran dry. Ruby pulled out her scroll to go to her pictures and displayed one of her favorite photos for everyone to see. It was Carmine’s fifteenth birthday. Ruby didn’t lie about the resemblance. the girl had short blonde hair that stopped halfway down her neck in the back and was longer in the front, reaching shoulders. Like her mother, the tips of her hair transitioned to red. The beautiful young woman tried to her hide her smile but her gleeful silver eyes were practically twinkling with joy as Ruby hugged her tightly from behind and a tall, more solid version of Jaune was smushing one of Carmine’s cheeks with an overly dramatic kiss to it. A tiny child no older than three at most was in his big sister’s arms. Garnet had his mother’s hair and eyes but something about the chubby face definitely showed Jaune’s features. The child had red frosting on his face and was reaching eagerly for more cake somewhere out of frame.

Yang noticed the girl took page from her father and wore some regular cargo shorts, but clearly didn’t lack flair by wearing a red crop top that showed off a fresh tattoo of the Arc crest on her toroso. Knowing her sister, that tattoo was most likely practical. The family looked happy, proud; and the mother of it currently sat across the table crying with her head face down in her hands cwhile Weiss and Blake hugged her from each side. Roses may have thorns, anyone who knew roses knew a simple truth. They’re still fragile flowers.

Yang:(Carmine Arc Rose. For you and your mother’s sake, I hope things go well)

xxxx

Though Carmine seemed cold by nature, people were quick learn the opposite. The most recent learner of this was a scared little girl that held on for dear life. It was nighttime, nothing but the sound of pouring rain and the distant glow of red and the warmth of Carmine holding the girl against her body while she sprinted through a mud ridden forest. The little payed no attention to the pain in her side, but the glow of roses, eyes, and flames through her tear filled eyes.

Beowulves chased frantically but then severed immediately by something the girl couldn’t understand, but it looked like the person carrying her. The dead beasts brought no comfort. Not when more followed close behind.

Girl:I-I’m sc...scared!

Carmine:Don’t look at them sweetie, it’ll be fine. Just keep being a brave little girl.

Girl:M...Mommy was back there.

Carmine:.....I know, she’ll be just fine. Your village, there are plenty of people there that will be just fine! Huff..... You got a name?

Mary:Mary.....

Carmine:Oh that’s a beautiful name, Mary. You know I was almost a Mary? Yeah my grandma was a really amazing person and I almost got named something similar to her. Mary is a very strong name!

Mary:You’re a liar! I’m sad, not strong. I want my mommy! Everything his dark and hurts and I want her!

The girl began painfully crying as Carmine followed her trail of roses to avoid getting lost. Things were getting worse. The storm raged and she could feel this girl burning in her arms. Not to mention the unsettling warmth the mixed with the cold rain against her body and dripped to puddles below. Any grimm near by could only be dealt with by many copies of her nearby, but that would only go so far when fear was out full force. Carmine’s boots felt like cement, but she still ran.

Carmine:Mary, you know what do when I miss my mommy? I sing! Yeah, my mom sings the best lullabies that made me feel super strong when I was little! It’s a magic song that makes everyone strong. How about I sing it you and they can sing it your mommy later okay!? But you have to close your eyes to really focus on the words!

Mary:*sniffling* Okay....

Baby deathstalkers swarmed the path made ahead as small Nevermores dove at her. Out of options, Carmine broke from the path, trying to rely on memory to go towards the safe zone while also singing lyrics to her favorite song.

Dream of anything; I'll make it all come true.

Everything you need is all I'll have for you~

Carmine never wavered. No matter how badly her lungs her or nearly slipped, she kept singing all the way to her destination where several other clones were seen racing towards with more civilians to injured or young to go themselves. An orphanage where Nora and Ren stood outside rushing people in while Jaune was keeping the grimm at bay. The sight brought a little ease.

Don't worry, I've got you; nothing will ever harm you.

I'm close by, I'll stay here; through all things, I will be near~

Carmine finally reached Nora and passed off the girl who’s grip weakened overtime. A few lyrics in and Carmine knew she was singing mainly for herself.

Carmine:Get her medical attention! I’m gonna go and find more! There’s still-

Jaune:Wait, it’s too dangerous!

Carmine:I know! That’s why I have to go! That fire is spreading and there’s stragglers pinned down! Dad.....I’m pinned down!

Jaune tensed up and looked at Carmine. No scraps on her and her clothes only soiled by others. It didn’t take long to realize. The man resisted the urge to run out to the ruined town and stood firmly.

Jaune:Carmine...end it. We’ll worry about the consequences later.

Carmine:....Okay.

Across the woods amongst the flames the real Carmine stood bleeding and bruised in front of two Beringel that charged over the vanishing corpses of their fallen with more grimm, her sword stabbed into the ground supporting her weight. Behind all living people that remained finally managed to flee. All except for a woman trapped by house debris. The woman watched this young huntsman stand proudly again. She wasn’t sure what happened next. All she heard was one sentence.

“Close your eyes...” before everything went white. Next thing she knew, Carmine was lifting debris off her as rain and wind washed away any evidence. A relief she didn’t care about in the slightest. She neither had the strength, or the time too. Much like Carmine, who began to pant and teeter. It was clear to the woman that whatever just happened didn’t come without cost as she watched the girl fall to her knees. Though she tried moving, Carmine was spent.

Carmine:Don’t worry...we’re safe....let’s-

Woman:Go...

Carmine:Huh?

Woman:I...my legs. Everything...I can’t move. Just go. I d-don’t think I’d las-

Carmine:Don’t talk like that! The hard parts over! I can-

Woman:Barely walk. *smiles* It’s okay. I don’t blame you. You fought hard.

Carmine:.....I...I’m sorry. *teary eyed*

Woman:Say, I know that face anywhere. Your Lady Rose’s kid. Funny, I thought your eyes were red? My daughter, Mary, she loves your mother. Makes me kinda jealous hehe, but hey I love her too. *crying* Do you know if Mary made it? She was wearing-

Carmine:A black dress, pink ribbons in her hair...

Woman:Yes! Is she safe? I saw you- one of you carry her off.

Carmine:...She’s just fine.

Woman:Good. That’s all....that.....

The woman never finished her sentence. Carmine’s body fell limp on the ground, facing the rain. Even with the cold downpour she could feel the warmth of her own tears, containing her emotions best she could as she looked through her clones eyes to watch Nora take Mary away from the survivors and out of sight to not stir further panic.

Carmine wasn’t sure how long she layed there, but it was long enough for Jaune to find her. The man didn’t say a word. The town was in shambles. Grimm were still fading and his daughter looked tired, but not in serious condition. Unlike the those who didn’t make it. Jaune put Carmine in his arms, carrying her away to safety.

Carmine:......Does mom ever save them all?

Jaune:No, but that never stops her from trying; or mourning.

She clenched her father’s shirt and let herself be fragile, to be a Rose.

Carmine:Next time. Mom and I, we’ll both get it right next time. A happy ending for all!

Jaune:Yeah, I know you will. Together....

#rwby #rwby au #the void #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #carmine arc rose #rwby rosebud #rwby lancaster

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ajoblotofjunk · 4 years

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Sorry for the unsolicited ask, but I remember seeing you said that Ned Stark was Lawful Neutral. What DnD alignments do you see for the rest of the characters at the beginning of their journeys and where they are now in the books? Also, what should have the TV adapted from the book and what should the book series take from the TV’s changes and pitfalls?

Hi! I love unsolicited asks, no apologies necessary. :)

I’m going to pick a handful of some of the more interesting-to-me POV characters since it’s been a minute since I did a book re-read and also there are a ton of characters in this story. So. If there’s someone in particular you were hoping for, you can ask!

Ned Stark - Lawful-neutral from start to finish, ALTHOUGH. I think Ned’s great tragedy is that at the very end he bent and it didn’t do shit for him anyway. He still was killed, because he’d gone too far and he was too unwilling to bend when he had more power. Also my first D&D character ever was a LN gnome fighter and I just have a lot of feelings about LN fighters.

Catelyn Stark - Here’s a hot take: I think Cat is True Neutral at the beginning, and then when things start to happen to her family she slips a bit into Neutral-Evil, with the selfishness focused around her pain and her family’s well-being. (There’s an argument to be made that she’s chaotic-good/chaotic-neutral but I think Cat feels more strongly about authority than that suggests.)

Arya Stark (yes, my secret is out: I am a Stark fan) - Arya is very chaotic-good at the beginning of the story and where we’ve left her, I think she’s chaotic-neutral and poised on a tipping point where she could slip to chaotic-evil but I think she’s gonna go back to CG. Maybe True Neutral, but I don’t see her becoming the true Faceless Man archetype that requires in the books (in the show I think she did become TN).

Cersei Lannister - I think Cersei is Lawful-Evil, because Tywin is Lawful-Evil and she thinks she’s female Tywin. In reality she’s probably Neutral Evil, especially where we’re at in the books, though she still lets herself be bound by authority in a way that suggests she might still be LE.

Tyrion Lannister - Okay here’s the thing. I don’t like Tyrion. Which, if you’ve read my fics, is probably not a surprise to discover. I liked him in the early books! But as he’s gone on I’ve liked him less and less and now he just annoys the crap out of me in ASOIAF. I think Tyrion was probably True Neutral at the beginning; honestly there’s an argument that he might’ve been Neutral-Good, but he’s definitely Neutral-Evil now, MAYBE Chaotic-Neutral if I were being generous with him. Which I am not.

Jaime Lannister - Jaime has had I think the biggest alignment shift out of anyone in the entire series. I think he started life as Lawful-Good, and then when the authority he trusted betrayed him, he shifted to an outward Chaotic Neutral/inward Chaotic Good that’s struggling to reassert itself. I think where he’s at now in the series is transitioned into that Chaotic Goodness more outwardly, and I think by the end of the series he’ll be fully CG, POSSIBLY Neutral Good but I’m not sure I see him making that shift completely.

Brienne of Tarth - Brienne is maybe my all-time favorite character of anything ever, so I have a lot of Opinions about her and this one I hold dear: I think a lot of fandom thinks she’s Lawful-Good, but I think she’s Neutral-Good. She is extremely driven by keeping her promises, but not, IMO, because of the weight of authority but because of the weight of her own moral beliefs in making a promise. She wants to do good because it’s the right thing to do, not because any oaths she takes tell her to. It’s why she was willing to hear Jaime out about what he did to Aerys when others (like Ned) wouldn’t - because she recognizes that good is the choice, not the oath. BECAUSE HERE’S THE DEAL. If Brienne were Lawful-Good, she would have stayed and married someone on Tarth. But she’s not. So she didn’t. I think she will retain her Neutral-Goodness through the series. I could see her slipping to maybe Chaotic-Good, but honestly I think she’ll stay NG/return to NG by the end.

I am very curious if people disagree on any of these (even Brienne!) so discussion encouraged. :)

Whew, that was pretty long. And I still have more of this question to answer! So the rest I’m putting under a Keep Reading cut.

What should have the TV adapted from the book and what should the book series take from the TV’s changes and pitfalls?

This is a really complicated question, and I really like it, but I’m not sure I feel confident answering it.

I think the TV show suffered from trying to refine an unfinished story to its core themes without knowing where George was going to end (except I guess with Bran as King?). I used to think that the choices they made about what they left out where telling - all of the Targaryen nonsense limited just to Dany and not any of the other stuff, for instance - but given the finale, I think D & D both hyperfocused only on keeping the main points they needed for what they saw as the end while also only paying off the bones of what they’d adapted from the first three books and didn’t have room for the ways GRRM expanded the story after the third book nor for the ways his end will probably be more complicated than the one they were limited to by it being a TV finale.

All of which is to say: I would have loved them to adapt the Lady Stoneheart arc, particularly for Brienne, but that D&D had no idea how to make that work within the confines of what their limitations both of what they’d chosen to focus on previously and TV, and so I understand why they didn’t. I would have loved, as well, to have more depth and see more of the Dorne arc with Arianne and Myrcella and Tristan, but that adds a whole season’s worth of episodes that the show just could not absorb. The show was forced to choose early to focus on the Starks and the Lannisters, with Dany as a third party, and they never were able to sway from that.

If I were starting over from scratch, I would have to have a long talk with GRRM and figure out what his point is, and work backward from there. I don’t get the sense D & D worked backward from anything but the Red Wedding.

(To be honest, if I were writing the show, I’d do everything the same up to season 6, at which point I’d separate Jaime and Cersei, and make it all about setting up the War of the Five Queens in s6, then we deal with the threat of the White Walkers as a serious, full-season arc for season 7, and then spend season 8 paying off the Queens War and ending with whatever thematic ending it is GRRM is going toward (humans are the ultimate monsters! Women make it work! Women fuck it up just as badly as the men did! Democracy for everyone! Peace is tentative and must be fought for in a tense standoff that all of these older, weary women now understand! Which is what I would have chosen. heh.)

As for the other way, what do I think GRRM should learn from the show. I mean I love the tent scene and would love to see something like that adapted somehow to the books (when Jaime comes to Winterfell to fight, would be my personal suggested placement; imagine the drama and romance!). I think GRRM could also stand to learn from streamlining to key characters and plots, which is what I hope he’s doing in TWOW. But where we’re at in the story in the books is so different from where the show went that I think it’s hard to make any specific suggestions. Mostly I just really want him to look at the story he’s telling and understand it, and recognize that it may have changed certain endings he may have considered previously before his story unfolded itself and he realizes that Jaime and Brienne living on Tarth can be the sweet part of the bittersweet. Ahem.

#asoiaf #game of thrones #meta #jaime x brienne #sort of #this got long whew #long post #asks answered #anonymous

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one-boring-person · 4 years

Text

Just A Babysitter. (Part Four.)

The Lost Boys x reader (mostly Laddie x reader)

Warnings: none.

Context: (Y/n) and Laddie go to the Boardwalk to spend some time together, whilst Michael and Star get intimate in the hotel.

A/N: I'm sorry this is so short, it's more of a filler part, really. I'll ty and get a better part up later.

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight

Laddie is practically bouncing off the walls when I tell him the next night that we're going into Santa Carla by ourselves, no Star, no vampires, just the two of us, the youngster spouting nonsense about going to buy comics and candy, hoping I'll take him on some of the rides Star normally won't let him go on. With a bright smile, I assure him we'll have fun, though I am confused as to why Star doesn't want to come with us; I did ask her to join me, but she declined me almost as soon as I said anything.

My answer arrives as soon as I hear the familiar sound of someone entering the cave, the footsteps only newly familiar to me: Michael. As he lights the room, he catches sight of Laddie and I leaving, instantly coming over and stopping me with a harsh grip on my arm.

"What the hell did they do to me? What did you do?!" He accuses, voice laced with horror and fear, as well as panic.

Pulling my arm from his grip, I give him an odd look before replying.

"It's not my place to say." I reply, sourly, pushing past him with Laddie in tow, knowing Star will most likely work her magic, in whatever way that is. All I know is that Laddie does not need to be around to find out, and neither do I.

Exiting the cave, Laddie and I ascend the steps, shivering a little in the cool night air as it swirls around us, the raging water somewhere below us loud in the otherwise quiet night. As we emerge over the top of the cliff, I allow myself to laugh when the young half-vampire races over to where my motorcycle is hidden, reaching up and trying to push the bike forwards.

"You won't get very far with the brakes still on." I call out to him as I join him, kicking out the stand and releasing the handbrake so he can at least try to push it. A surprised gasp of pride leaves him when the motorbike moves, though I don't tell him that it is, in fact, me pushing the vehicle onto firmer ground, not him, knowing full well that the Triumph is much too heavy for him.

"You wanna ride up front for once?" I offer him, smiling when his face lights up. Climbing onto the bike first, I settle myself before reaching over and picking the little boy up off the ground and placing him in front of me, brushing some of his long hair out of my face. Directing him to hold onto the unoccupied areas of the handlebars, I make sure he's secure and start the engine, chuckling when he jumps a bit from the sudden vibration - my bike feels a little different to the motorcycles the boys ride.

"Ready?" I question him, revving the engine for emphasis.

"Yeah, let's go!" Laddie encourages, excitement evident in his voice.

"Ok, you better be holding on!" I warn before throwing the bike into gear, starting off at a relatively slow(ish) speed until we hit the road, where I push it up. In front of me, Laddie screams in joy, enjoying the new perspective he's getting from riding in front of the driver for once, delirious cries of exhilaration escaping us both as we thunder down the main road. Thankfully, there aren't many other vehicles driving around, giving us mostly free run of the flat expanse of concrete, allowing me to make the ride more interesting. I keep the speed at a controllable high, making sure I can easily brake without giving us whiplash should I need to, though I manoeuvre the bike in a slalom in any case, whooping with the boy in front of me as we go, my chest pressing into his back as I try to make us as streamlined as possible.

Too soon, the bright lights of Santa Carla come into view, prompting me to slow down as I take the first turn into town, trying my best to obey the traffic laws I don't care about, not in the mood to be pulled over tonight. In record time, I manage to skip all the traffic lining the streets and pull up on the Boardwalk, turning the engine off when I finally find a safe spot to leave the motorbike. Climbing off, I help Laddie off, only to have to catch him again when he falls, his legs shaking from the thrill of the ride. Grinning, I lift him onto my back, carrying him further into the busy area with some ease.

"Where do you wanna go first?" I question him, looking at him over my shoulder as he glances around, eyes wide and impressed as always.

"Comic book shop, please!" He requests, pointing over my shoulder at the Frog's store to my right.

"Okie dokie, let's get going." I agree, heading over towards it, Laddie holding on tight as I go, his fingers gripping the front of my leather jacket eagerly. Upon entering, the two boys who run the shop, Edgar and Alan, give us a suspicious look, though they don't come over, instead just allowing us to look around at the comics on offer. Letting Laddie down, I go over to a particular one which catches my eye: Vampires Everywhere. A chuckle escapes me at the name of it, knowing how true the statement technically is as I take it with me, flicking through the pages briefly as I continue to browse, joining Laddie when we've both picked out three or four each. I take them over to the checkout, where I hand them to Edgar, who is manning the till, his brother currently guarding the comics outside the vicinity of the shop. As the boy comes across Vampires Everywhere, he looks up at me, eyes narrowed.

"Are you aware of the bloodsucker problem around here, too?" He asks, voice a little gruff for a young kid.

"The bloodsucker problem?" I question him, playing it off as a bit of a joke.

"Yeah, Santa Carla ain't the fairy town everyone makes it out to be." Edgar informs me, drawing a scoff from me.

"There is no one in the world who calls this place a fairy town. But no, I wasn't aware we had one. I thought that was the next town over." I respond, shrugging my shoulders in mock concern.

"Well it isn't, so you better make sure you and you're kid are protected against them when they come knocking."

"Ok, I'll make sure my brother and I are appropriately prepared for this. Thank you." I say, giving him a tight smile before paying and leaving, Laddie trailing behind me.

"Right then, where to next?" I ask him, smiling down at him as he considers my question.

"Can we go in there?" He points at a little store selling trinkets, some of the wares already catching my eye.

"Sure, let's go!"

Going over to it, we start browsing, eventually buying a couple of small things before the cycle is repeated, again and again, until we are forced to buy a bag to carry it all in, the money David and the boys have collected from victims over the years finally coming in useful. I manage to get a small something for each of them, as well as a tonne of new stuff for Laddie, who needs to experience some sort of humanity before it is taken from him. By the end of the night, he has a new leather jacket, a bracelet, some figurines and some badges and patches to go on the coat, whilst I've come out of tonight with a new necklace depicting a striking scorpion.

After hours of browsing and going on the rides, we find ourselves back at my bike, eating a portion of fries between us as we watch the crowd become thin, both of us in a good mood after the time we spent together. I notice that Laddie has started yawning more frequently, though, so I quickly make the decision to get home before he falls asleep on the ride back, binning the empty packaging and helping him back into the front of the bike.

"Lets get home, hmm? We can show Star and the boys everything we got." I encourage him, smiling when he grins excitedly, quickly breaking off into a large yawn as he does so. Climbing up onto the bike, I start the engine and swiftly peel off into the traffic, going as fast as I dare in order to get home at a decent time. The roads are mostly empty again, but the drivers that are present are unbearably slow, so I try to overtake as much as possible, nearly spinning off course when a lorry looms up out of nowhere, Laddie screaming out in pure ecstasy at the dangerous turn of events. From his reaction, I deduct that he's been listening to Paul a little too much, taking on the happy-go-lucky vampire's attitude with ease. I smile at the bought, knowing Paul will be happy to have another adrenaline-junky in the gang, though I doubt Dwayne will be too pleased after trying his hardest to teach the young boy the safer perks of being a vampire, despite often ignoring his own advice.

Within fifteen minutes, I've pulled up outside the cave and hidden the bike, lifting Laddie into my arms as I realise he's just as exhausted as I am, his eyes drooping closed even as he tries to fight the sleep off, at least until he's shown off his new stuff. Carrying him down the walkway, I grab the rest of the stuff and enter the familiar confines of the sunken hotel, quickly looking over at the bed in the corner of the room, swiftly finding it still occupied by both Star and Michael, though the latter has sat up and is eyeing his hand in amazement. At my arrival, he looks up, blue eyes finding me with ease as I shift Laddie's weight in my arms, trying not to interrupt anything especially not Star's sleep.

Awkwardly, I shoot Michael a quick smile in greeting before going to sit on my armchair with the half-vampire in my arms, cradling him against my chest as we wait for the boys to return, Laddie keeping his eyes open as much as possible whilst we do so. After a couple of minutes, though, I notice he has fallen asleep against me, clearly exhausted after the night out, even if it hasn't been a particularly strenuous one. Smiling to myself, I rock him a little, happy that the boy is around to keep me sane, uncaring of whether or not Michael is watching me from across the room, his curious gaze not completely unnoticed, though I do look up to stare him down as I finally register the loud laughing of the other boys returning home, evidently having just fed. None of them come into the main room, most likely going straight to their sleeping positions, a quick look at my watch confirming this to me, my own tiredness catching up to me as I make the decision to get some sleep.

Standing carefully, I take Laddie over to his cot, where I tuck him in after removing his new jacket and his usual shoes leaving all of his new stuff beside the bed as I bid Michael a good morning and excuse myself to my own room. As I enter, I notice someone is sat on the bed, his lanky yet short frame sprawled across the space lazily as he waits for me to recognise him, his face just visible in the light from the other room.

"Marko? What're you doing here?" I question, smiling a little as I pull off my jacket and boots, removing all my jewellery as I go.

"Well, I heard you have the others some attention last night, and I wanted some, too." The vampire responds, his grin almost audible as I sigh and shake my head, knowing full well that I can't refuse him.

"You know I'm always open to giving you attention. You don't have to wait until you want to make even with the others." I point out as I slip into the bed, pulling the covers over us as he moves to wrap me in his arms, spooning me with his head resting just behind me, his frigid body temperature radiating through his jacket and into me, though the duvet helps to keep me warm. Humming in contentment, I draw small patterns onto his hands as I try to lull myself to sleep, enjoying his presence immensely.

"God, what would I do without you guys?" I muse, my eyelids drooping closed as my voice softens, the chuckle that resonates behind me only serving to make me fall asleep faster.

He goes to reply, but I don't register it, my mind not quite with it as I allow myself to drift off in his arms.

Part Five

#david(thelostboys)#joel schumacher #the lost boys #vampire #dwayne(the lost boys)#kiefer sutherland #marko(the lost boys)#paul(the lost boys)#star(the lost boys)#laddie(the lost boys)#santa carla

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

Text

The Tumblr Beta Version: an objective analysis

I was tempted to just type “it sucks.” And while that is an objective analysis, it’s not exactly helpful. I’ve sent several requests to @staff and @support to restore my account to the old tumblr dashboard format, and received the same automated reply twice now. I’ll copy/paste it here so everyone is on the same page:

(lol, I had to go back and edit this, because apparently the beta version doesn’t display block quotes on the dash. So I’ve also put the block quotes in italics... hopefully it’ll display properly... note after editing: nope, it doesn’t display italics either... how the heck am I supposed to differentiate quoted text? I’ll start each quoted bit with an asterisk, I guess...)

*Thanks for reaching out about the beta dashboard.

*We're currently testing it out, and your account seems to have been selected to take part in the test. Thanks for your patience while we work on it! At this time there is not a way to opt out of testing. You may see your Tumblr experience return to normal as we continue testing.

WE CAN ONLY HOPE.

*In the meantime, check out some of the new features available only in the beta dashboard:

OKAY TUMBLR, IF YOU INSIST, though I would MUCH rather have back all the functionality I personally invested into this website through xkit... you know... making the site ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL. Let’s see what this beta version has given me instead of functionality:

*Change Palettes: Go to the person icon, then click "Change Palette." You'll find the classic Tumblr blue, dark mode, and a few other color palettes for your dash.

So I tried out all the color palettes. In addition to the ones mentioned here, there’s one that’s trying to look like a green screen terminal that gives me flashbacks to the early 80′s. There’s a reason we stopped using green screen terminals... Another one is “canary yellow.” It’s very yellow. The “classic tumblr” isn’t actually classic tumblr... all the post boxes are dark blue with grey type, not white with black type. And all the other colors are the insanely bright fluorescent of the new Dark Blue standard tumblr scheme. Which means links are practically invisible unless I highlight them. It’s migraine inducing. The one theme with a light colored background is called “Concrete” or “Cement” or something like that and even that only works for about half an hour before the migraine aura really kicks in. I just want my Old Blue via xkit back. You know, what tumblr actually used to look like. I don’t want any of these horrible color palettes. None of them work for me.

*The new "meatballs" menu: This is where you can copy the post link, unfollow the Tumblr who made or reblogged the post, or report a violation to our Community Guidelines.

I could do all of this from the user menus with xkit, too. I don’t regularly report violations or have the urge to block people I have chosen to follow. Why on earth would I want to do any of this? And why would I want these features located directly beside the post link copy feature?

You know what I do miss? I miss the xkit timestamps feature. I didn’t have to hover dangerously close to the KILL IT WITH FIRE meatballs menu in order to see when a post was made, and in this era of disinformation and misinformation spreading around this site faster than Covid-19, being able to see when a post was ORIGINALLY created is a far more useful feature than an easier way to block people. For reference: I currently have three blogs blocked. Two of them are pornbots. One is a nazi. If I don’t want someone’s content on my dash, I don’t follow them. This “feature” is entirely useless to me.

*A quick note: Pagination is not supported in this beta test, but we're collecting feedback to send to our engineers.

THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST. This beta test might actually be tolerable if I wasn’t trapped into endless scrolling. If I could page through my dash, refreshing it every ten posts or so. You know why? Because once I scroll about 30 posts down my dash, tumblr starts overheating my laptop under the load of ALL THOSE POSTS. Things start malfunctioning-- it takes longer and longer to load new posts the farther I scroll. And the keyboard navigation (both page down and hitting J to advance to the next post, and even just using the down arrow to scroll as I read a long post) freeze and stop functioning. One of my laptop fans has actually begun to malfunction.

You know why this wasn’t a problem on the old version? If the data load got to heavy, I could open a post in a new tab, click view on dash with xkit, and voila! Brand new tab! I could close the malfunctioning tab and everything would be refreshed to normal! But without pagination, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

Also, after reblogging a few posts, the beta version of this site breaks, and doesn’t open a post tab to add commentary or even tags. It just... reblogs the untagged post with no warning whatsoever. You know... that’s really really not cool. I tag EVERYTHING. Well, almost everything. The tags are the only way to keep track of the 40k+ posts on my blog. And warn people that I am posting potential spoilers, or other specific content. It’s REALLY inconvenient to have to either immediately go to my blog to edit the post and add tags, or even comments. The alternative is to scroll up to open individual posts I want to reblog in a new tab, and then reblog directly there. Ironically enough, THOSE pages actually open with xkit installed, and everything (surprise!) functions perfectly there.

It’s perfectly reasonable to understand why this specific issue has limited the number of posts I reblog. Reblogging content should not be this much of a hassle. Creators have been complaining for a while that reblogs have drastically slowed down, and I think making it even more annoying and difficult to reblog posts will not help this problem.

Also, with xkit enabled, there’s a function that auto-loads images as you scroll, so the images are always visible BEFORE they appear on screen. I don’t have to look at the colored boxes and wonder if this is a post I’ve already seen or something I should sit and wait for. Don’t even think about watching tumblr videos. Loading priority is given to the ads that you cannot pause or dismiss, so that video loads and plays in choppy two second bursts instead of being given priority. Since that’s the content I am actually here to consume, it kinda makes me want to do the opposite of patronizing anyone who advertises here with graphically intense ads. And then when you scroll away, with xkit, gifs and videos you’ve scrolled past STOP loading and playing, which I think might be contributing to the intensity of the resource hogging that’s literally melting down my laptop.

And for reference, I have a pretty decent little gaming laptop. A blogging platform shouldn’t be driving it to the brink of frying itself. I didn’t realize just how much xkit worked to streamline this and provide basic functionality to this site.

*And lastly, if you're an XKit user, know that the XKit team is working hard to update things on their end to make it compatible with the beta dashboard.

And this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what I’ve lost without xkit. And this is a really REALLY garbage response to user complaints. “Oh, yeah, sorry we made our site suck even worse, but those nice people who do our jobs for free will surely fix our garbage soon!”

Dear wonderful people at @new-xkit-extension, I love you, and I miss you, and while I wish xkit worked with this beta version I’ve been forced into living with, I truly feel for y’all who are trying to deal with this nonsense on behalf of all of us.

And to the folks at Tumblr... maybe try to just... make your site actually more like xkit. You know, actually functional. None of these special new features are useful or functional to me. I respectfully request for a fourth time to be removed from this inane beta test.

Give us OPTIONS. Let us display ALL THE TAGS without having to click a button. Let me have back my Activity+ that actually allowed me to interact with people from my dash! That showed me real-time inline notifications in a way that I could reply to with a single click! Bring me back to my column of open messaging conversation icons so I have easy access to the people I talk with throughout the day instead of closing them all every time I refresh the page. I already feel socially isolated in freaking quarantine, please stop shutting off all my avenues of communication!

Let us have pagination! I mean, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to force heavy users of this site into a beta version that doesn’t allow us to opt out until your engineers had actually figured out how to make it work in a very basic way.

*Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with!

YES. PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS BETA TEST NOW. I have let you know exactly what I want from this site. I just want it to ACTUALLY WORK. For someone who spends 12+ hours a day on this site, this beta test version is NONFUNCTIONAL. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT. I AM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU. I WILL ACTUALLY PAY YOU CASH MONEY TO ALLOW ME TO OPT OUT OF THIS AND GO BACK TO HAVING A FUNCTIONAL BLOG AGAIN. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

PLEASE!

I AM OFFICIALLY AT THE END OF MY PATIENCE FOR ENDURING THIS NIGHTMARE.

(one final quick note... I’ve only been back on my dash long enough to make the parenthetical edits-- i.e. adding italics that don’t display and then adding the asterisks at the beginning of each section of quoted text, and already my laptop is overheating again. For reference, I originally typed this entire post from within my tumblr inbox page-- which still functions normally with xkit-- and spent over an hour on it. My laptop was fine the entire time. Clearly the issue is this beta version of the website. I will never forgive tumblr if y’all fry my literal only portal to the outside world at this time. PUT ME BACK TO NORMAL NOW. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING AND ENTIRELY UNACCEPTABLE. Thanks)

(oops apparently i lied... when the asterisks and the previous final note failed to display, I thought that seemed suspicious, and realized that I literally needed to refresh my entire dash in order to see edited changes. Funny how xkit enabled me to do that in real time, which is just another bit of functionality I’ve lost with this beta program. Please guys, this is really, really not working for me at all, just put it back.)

#tumblr problems #staff #support #xkit #was this good enough for you? because I am totally done with this if that wasn't completely obvious #please end my suffering

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thanksjro · 4 years

Text

Spotlight: Trailcutter - Trailcutter Threatens to Kill Several People For a Good Noodle Star

The Spotlight issues- the one-shots that focus on a single character in an effort to get readers interested in them (and sell toys, of course)- are a funny thing. The ones relating to MTMTE characters within the timeline of MTMTE’s events were written nearly a year after the events during which they are set.

The Spotlights as a whole don’t stick in my brain terribly well, and that’s probably because when I first read IDW’s run back in 2016, I went by publication dates instead of story chronology. I don’t think that really leaves itself for a properly cohesive reading experience, at least not in this particular case. It doesn’t help that a lot of the other ones weren’t super awesome reads, in my opinion. Spotlight: Cyclonus isn’t exactly my favorite thing, for example.

The Scavengers storyline gets interrupted anyway with the Annual, so I figure I might as well slot these in here as well. Really, I should have covered this between MTMTE #5 and #6. Well, technically, I don’t have to do anything in any order, but it’s what I would have preferred.

Anyway, let’s see what's up.

Looks like the Lost Light’s seen better days. It’s had a hole punched in the side of it, and Trailbreaker’s been asked to use his forcefields to keep the vacuum of space from doing its thing while all the Headmasters slap some duct tape on the rip.

No, they aren’t actually Headmasters in this continuity, but it’s not often Highbrow gets to exist in the story proper, so I figured I’d take advantage of that.

Rodimus, impressed by the quick response to the damage, decides he’s going to hold a little ceremony for the boys- not Trailbreaker though, because I guess nobody told Rodimus he’d pitched in too.

Soak it in, Highbrow, because this is the closest thing to main character status you’ll be getting this whole comic run. Be mindful up there now, because if Chromedome turns too fast he’ll take your head clean off with those massive shoulders.

Each of them receive a Rodimus Star, a medal with Rodimus’ face on it signifying that the owner has done something exemplary to earn it. It is in no way shaped like a star.

Trailbreaker, bummed out that he wasn’t recognized for the work he put in, decides to drown his sorrows at Swerve’s, which at this point is still technically not on the up and up and is running illegally. Unfortunately for Trailbreaker, the afterparty is also being hosted here, so he’s not actually escaped anything.

Off to the side, Chromedome and Brainstorm are chatting with Tailgate, who notes the theming of the award-winners’ names, and thinks it’s very funny. Chromedome explains that they’re actually nicknames, from when they all worked together.

Back at Trailbreaker’s table, he’s trying to keep himself entertained, when Whirl happens. Whirl, being Whirl, makes a rude comment about his face, claiming he has an expression he makes whenever he uses his forcefields. Trailbreaker denies this, but he totally does.

Whirl asks what’s eating at Trailbreaker, not that he really cares, and after a bit of hemming and hawing, finds out that Trailbreaker’s really bothered by the fact that he was the only one on the repair team that didn’t get a star. As it turns out, Rodimus has been passing these things out like hotcakes, because Whirl’s got one too. Pretty much everyone but Trailbreaker has a star at this point.

Whirl decides to cut out the middle man and yells at Rodimus to get his McDonald’s-looking butt over here and proceeds to cut to the heart of the matter.

Implying that Drift doesn’t already have twenty Rodimus stars for just existing.

C’mon Rodimus, just give him a star. You obviously ordered way too many if you’ve given one to Whirl by this point, and Trailbreaker’s obviously feeling low.

Whirl, not satisfied with this answer, decides to inflict his special brand of help on Trailbreaker, and decides that it’s time for a little self-improvement.

But y’know. Not like he really cares.

Totally.

The first step in the Whirl Self-Help program is to throw away your old identity while insulting/infatuating over Ultra Magnus.

Now the Spotlight subtitle makes a lot more sense. Trailbreaker/Trailcutter is one of the many characters within the Transformers franchise who suffers from trademark issues, which is why he’s got more than one name. We’ll see him flipflop between the two in MTMTE- or rather, other characters flipflop between them- OR RATHER Roberts flipflop between them.

As is, Whirl takes to the change immediately, probably because he himself has gone through the process in the past.

So, talking yourself up is the next step, but Trailcutter doesn’t really want to reinvent himself, per se; he just wants to be a little more than the guy who does forcefields. He wants people to see him for him, y’know?

Whirl thinks the answer to this conundrum is to get Trailcutter a gun.

They go find Brainstorm, who’s currently busy trying to figure out just what exactly the ship hit to punch such a big hole in it. They’ve brought in the big metal something, and he, Perceptor and a couple other nerds are giving it a good once-over.

As Whirl gushes over Brainstorm’s many inventions- lot of love coming from Whirl this issue- Brainstorm questions Trailcutter’s desire to get into traditional weaponry, seeing as he’s got some sweet stuff going on already, namely the forcefield thing and the magnawheels, which we’ll get to see in action later.

Trailcutter leaves to go take a depression nap.

When he gets to his room, he finds his roommate, Hoist, to be absent. Hoist is off on his own adventure, which is covered in his very own Spotlight. Of course, because Trailcutter is playing the buttmonkey today, he still doesn’t get left alone, as he receives a call from Swerve, who’s probably super jazzed that he’s not the most beat-down character on the ship for once.

Swerve’s supposed to be doing a sponsored silence in exchange for a Rodimus star, but he’s find it very difficult, thanks to the whole “cannot shut the hell up” thing. Swerve, much like everyone with teeth in this issue, looks like he’s got a retainer in, showing that little bit of artistic license off as he asks Trailcutter for a favor.

And on that note, let’s take a brief look at the artist for this issue, Matt Frank.

Frank’s only worked on a couple other things within Transformers, one of which being the second half of the Animated comic “First (and Second) in Flight.” His style is very different from our regular artist, Alex Milne. While Milne seems to prioritize the more technical aspects of the Transformers designs, even in the relatively streamlined looks for MTMTE, Frank’s art is much more simplified, almost soft-looking. Characters look as if their faces would squish if you grabbed them by the cheeks. There’s a lot of expression, almost to the point of looking straight-up cartoonish. While I’m not sure that this style would have worked with the more serious storylines of this series, I think it’s a shame that this was the only entry from Frank that we got to see. It’s a little funky in spot, but I like how emotionally open it feels, if that makes sense.

Getting back to the story, Trailcutter hangs up on Swerve and plugs in for beddy-bye, wishing that he were a normal dude and that everyone would just shut up about his forcefields.

See, I told you- depression nap.

Trailcutter, feeling that something’s up- both with the ship and himself- heads out to find a friend. What he finds instead is profoundly disturbing.

Clearly there is a dark evil at work, if Huffer’s smiling. He shouldn’t be able to DO that.

Trailcutter wanders around the ship, finding more of the same strangeness going on: everyone is frozen in place, even Rodimus as he yells at Rewind over those snuff films Red Alert found, firmly setting this issue for having happened right before issue #6.

Trailcutter heads back to his room, and is about to answer a call from Hoist- who is still on that mission from before naptime- when a laser blast explodes his monitor.

Zounds! Some Decepticons have snuck aboard the Lost Light, and they’re looking for trouble. Thinking quickly, Trailcutter pops out of his hiding spot to forcefield the pair… except he doesn’t, because something’s wrong. His forcefields aren’t working.

The art’s a little hard to follow here, but it looks like Trailcutter just ripped Whirl’s tit-guns off and used them to shoot that guy. Radical.

With the enemy fully distracted, Trailcutter jumps over a chair and bolts for the exit, using his magnawheels and showing us exactly why they’re called that.

They’re wheels that act as magnets. That’s why.

He hacks the door to the medibay and uses it to kill a man, crushing his head, then gets the other guy with a pair of resuscitation pads. Day’s saved! Good job, Trailcutter!

Just kidding, we still have another half of this issue to get through.

The guy Trailcutter just knocked out with medical equipment gets a call. Good thing Trailcutter’s good at impressions.

Turns out, there’s a LOT of Decepticons on the Lost Light at present, and they’re after something in the shuttle bay. Looks like Trailcutter’s got some work to do. Might as well set yourself up for success, huh pal?

Gee, Brainstorm, wonder how much of all this nonsense is your fault. I’m going to guess at least all of it.

Trailcutter stocks up on the heroic necessities, and heads over to shuttle bay 3.

Lockdown’s here, and he’s brought a third of the villain lineup from Transformers Animated with him. Trailcutter brings on the bravado, dumping the two Decepticons he took out earlier on the floor and asking just what the hell these guys think they’re doing on his ship.

Lockdown isn’t terribly impressed.

Trailcutter, what the actual, genuine fuck is that even supposed to mean?

Stealing Whirl’s little talking-up speech, Trailcutter frames himself as friggin’ death incarnate, again not impressing Lockdown very much. Honestly, Lockdown just wants to grab that big ol’ something the Lost Light ran into yesterday and go.

That big ol’ something, you see, is a Titan thumb, and Lockdown and his crew are in the business of Titan hunting. Trailcutter makes it pretty clear that he’s not going to let them take the thing, seeing as Lockdown and his goonies are probably going to use it for nefarious purposes, and so seals himself in the role of the hero for the evening. He informs the Decepticons of his claim to fame, even though his forcefields still aren’t working, then pulls a little magic trick by turning off the artificial gravity for the room, claiming it to be the work of his highly-specialized skills. He lets them go up… then lets them come back down, hard.

Then Trailcutter ramps up the psychological manipulation significantly, using his anime eyes to convince Lockdown that he’s planted a tiny forcefield within his spark, and that he’s fully capable of letting it expand until it rips said spark asunder.

Lockdown and company get the fuck away from Trailcutter as fast as they possibly can, completely terrified and also maybe just the slightest bit flustered by our forcefield specialist. Once they’re out of sight, Trailcutter allows himself a moment to reflect on a job well done.

ARE YOU FUCKING-

Roberts, please, we can’t keep doing this. The sad, proud smiles, I can’t take them.

Trailcutter plops down in the captain’s chair to take a load off, only to get spooked by the hand of Rodimus clapping down on his shoulder.

Later on, Hoist’s returned from his mission to their room, and Trailcutter regales him with his tale of derring-do. Turns out that everyone being frozen was absolutely Brainstorm’s fault, and the only reason Trailcutter wasn’t affected was because he was sleep-forcefielding.

Of course, we can’t just let the guy be happy, now can we?

Okay. I looked it up, and it turns out, the British use “snap” when they’re in a situation where they’ve got the same X as another person, i.e. two people show up wearing the same outfit to an event, or some such. It comes from a matching card game. In America, we say “snap” as an exclamation, like “wow!” or “Jesus Christ!” or “dangit!” Snap is a very versatile word in the States. So there’s your little culture lesson for the day.

Trailcutter, sinking back into his sour mood from earlier, decides to go get plastered, because he has a drinking problem, but not before he goes to make a threat on Rodimus’ life over a goddamn sticker. Thus ends dear Trailcutter’s Spotlight.

#transformers #jro #mtmte #spotlight #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #incoming analysis #comic script writing

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thatfairyfangirl · 5 years

Text

Part Of That World Chapter 10

The bitter chill of winter began nipping at the autumn air as the crowds gathered below to watch the annual thanksgiving day parade. You, however, were nice and warm in the tower, face pressed against the glass of one of the windows watching with childlike wonder at the spectacle below. You could remember watching as a child always wanting a better look. And no look could be better that eye to eye with the giant balloons. Bucky turned glancing back to you with a chuckle and a shake of his head as he worked on stirring the filling for the pumpkin pie. Somewhere deep down he had to admit the childlike wonder held on your face right now was endearing. “Hey gills for brains you going to help with dinner or what?” He asked in a tone that told you he was joking with you.

“Screw that. I'm looking Mickey Mouse in the eye!” You called back.

“And that's great Ariel,” Tony said as he snuck a taste of the stuffing, “but it's time to pick secret santa.” With a roll of your eyes you pushed yourself from the window and dug your hand into the hat filled with names. As your hand rummaged through along with everyone else's you could feel the strong fingers of Bucky brush against yours. For a brief moment your eyes met as fingers pulled away from each other, clutching small scraps of paper with names scribbled on them. Bucky looked down to the paper, his heart not sure if it wanted to sink or do back flips as he read your name. You, however, grew a wide smile as you read Bucky's name, having the perfect gift in mind.

Christmas season in New York was nothing if not a whirlwind. Before anyone knew it the tree was trimmed and the city was covered in a blanket of Carols and Christmas snow. You sat at the table, enjoying the peppermint mocha creamer Tony had picked up for the day as you held back a laugh from seeing Bucky in his santa hat. “Hey robo arm,” you said softly between sips, watching him pour his own mug, “merry Christmas.”

He smiled as took a sip, removing the hat from his own head and placing it on yours. “Merry Christmas sharkbait.” The two of you shook your heads amused at the exchange.

All of the Avengers were adorned in their most festive attire as they gathered in the common room, boxes in hand. You both smirked playfully at each other as you exchanged boxes. Somewhere deep inside you were glad you picked his name, you wouldn't have known what to get any of the others. But seeing his face light up at the shiny paper and bows you almost felt bad. The smile on his face faded as he stared at a box filled with magnets and a note that read 'for your arm’. You grinned a shit eating grin up to him as you picked up the one shaped like a banana and stuck it to his shoulder. “There, now you're The Winter Monkey.”

“You're a little shit.” He couldn't help chuckling as he plucked the magnet from his arm. “Open yours.” You tore the paper to find inside an array of shells in all shapes and colors. “Now you don't have to feel so homesick all the time.” He chuckled at the joke.

But the Atlantean in you was less amused and more shocked by the display. Did he know what this means? “I...I have to go.” You stammered clutching the box to your chest as you rushed to your room.

“What the hell Bucky?” Clint exclaimed before going after her. “Hey?” He knocked gently on her door. “You ok?”

“No...yes…” you opened the door, looking up to your friend with sullen eyes. “I don't know.”

“What's up? Did he get you a dead fish or something?” He asked with a chuckle in an attempt to lighten your mood. You shook your head, showing him the box of shells. “Okay? I don't get it.”

With a sigh you set the box down and gestured for him to come in. “In Atlantean culture giving shells is somewhere along the lines of giving your sweetheart a flower.” You moved to your dresser, delicately picking up a small shining white spiral shell. “It means 'hey I like you, let's get together.’” You cradled the shell as if it was the ocean's personal gift to you. “My mom gave this one to my dad. It was my favorite story when I was a kid.”

Clint nodded seeing now why you were so spooked. “I'm pretty sure Bucky was just trying to make a mermaid joke at you.” He assured you as he rested his hands on your shoulders. “How would he know about mer-culture?” He asked pulling a laugh out of you.

~ ~ ~ ~

The next few days you couldn't so much as bring yourself to look at Bucky. He began to wonder if it really offended you that much. Even as they sat around the table planning their next mission you cradled in your hand your mother's shell. Sure, on one hand you were sure he didn't mean anything by it...but on the other hand you wondered if you were starting to wish he did.

“(Y/n)?” Steve asked snapping you out of your thoughts. “You good with this plan?”

“I'm sorry, what?” You asked as you looked up to Steve.

He once again explained that a diplomat from Wakanda was going to be aboard a river yacht for a political party,T'challa had requested they go in as back up. “You and Bucky will pose as party guests to keep a closer eye on him.”

“What? Why Bucky? What about you?” You asked with wide panicked eyes.

“Too tight. Besides, the shield will be too dead of a give away why we're there.”

“Clint?” You asked turning to your friend.

“Sorry kid. Me and Sam are your eyes in the sky.” Clint answered.

Steve looked between you and Bucky sternly. “Look. I don't know what's going on between you two this time but it's ending now. You're working together.” You both nodded.

~ ~ ~ ~

You grumbled to yourself as you struggled with your dress, wondering to yourself how people wore these things. “So are we going to talk?” Bucky asked through the door, already ready and starting to grow tired of waiting. “Or at least are you going to let me help you?”

“Fuck off Barnes. Definitely not in the mood for any of your nonsense right now.” You snapped defensively. Your eyes closed as the gravity of your own words weighed on you instantly, knowing this was neither the time nor the place for another petty argument.

“What the hell is wrong with you? I got you shells! It's not like I went out of my way to insult you like you did to me!” He barked back, his pride hurt. “Just let me help you put on the damn dress before our guy gets killed and we're not there to stop it.”

“You don't know that! You know nothing about where I'm from!” You screamed back as you finally got the dress on.

“What Maine?” He barked back finding himself getting heated over this. “You know what?!” You swung the door open your hair pinned up in a classic style matching the aqua and silver dress exquisitely. “WHAT?!” You demanded, leaning partially out the door. The dress was very streamlined, yet flowed the further down it went, no doubt hiding weapons holstered to your legs...as if you'd need them on a yacht like this.

Suddenly he was caught off guard. Suddenly, even through the folds of your brow created in anger you looked so perfect, as if he had gone back in time. “You're lovely.” He sighed, stunned by the sight of you, wondering if you knew the dress was stylized after one Ginger Roberts wore in an old Fred Astaire flick.

You stood there a moment blinking in surprise. That was nowhere near how you expected that sentence to end. Your eyes narrowed looking over him trying to find the angle he was playing at but all you could think of was how dashing he looked in the suit with his hair tied neatly back. With a shake of your head you pushed the thought to the back of your mind. “Don't try to flatter me Barnes. I won't be made a fool of tonight dancing with you.”

With a raised brow his head tilted a bit. “What do you mean?”

“I can't dance.” You admitted looking over to the wall, not ready to face him.

With a sigh he tapped on his comlink. “Hey Hawkeye everything quiet out there?”

“Like the grave. What's up?” He answered, just a voice in your ear.

“Maelstrom is having trouble with her dress. Can you buy us an hour?” He's taught girls to dance in less.

“You got it. Honestly I'm starting to think T'challa might have been a little paranoid calling us in.” Clint answered before shutting the com off.

“You could have just said so.” He said as he stepped in close, wrapping an arm around you. For a moment you struggled against him, trying faintly to push him away. “Stop...just once, trust me.” He assured you taking a step closer, nudging you to take a step back as he gently moved your hands around his waist and shoulder. Soon you conceded to the movements he made, allowing him to lead you in a simple waltz. Now you could see the side you saw Halloween night...charming and gentle...this was the side you liked.

~ ~ ~ ~

Clint and Steve both stood in the common room pacing the floor, well past 3am. The mission had been over for hours yet you and Bucky were nowhere to be found. Until you came strolling in with Bucky's arm around your shoulder. “What the hell happened to you two?” Steve snapped with a tone more worry than anger.

“Uhh… after the all clear we decided to go out dancing.” Bucky answered as you slipped from his arm.

“Sorry Steve. We should have checked in.” You added before moving to head back to your room, opting to deal with this fall out later. Right now you were too exhausted.

“No!” Clint snapped following you down the hall. “You don't get off that easy little mermaid!” He said as he caught up to you by your door. “What's going on here? Last I heard you two hated each other. You never shut up about how awful he is and now I’m waiting up for you to finish your after mission date with him”

“Date? No we were just having some fun…” You glanced down the hall toward Bucky’s room. “You really think it was a date?” With a groan of frustration Clint hit his head lightly against the wall.

Meanwhile back in the common room

“So you going to tell me what's going on here pal?” Steve asked with a half grin as he folded his arms.

“Nothing is going on Steve.” Bucky answered with a blissful smile. "(Y/n)'s never gotten to go dancing before...turns out she likes it."

“Oh come on Buck I know that look.” Steve insisted, refusing to believe him for even a second.

“We just danced.” Bucky assured his best friend with a smirk before turning to head to his room.

#bucky #bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barns x reader #Winter Soldier #winter soldier x reader #Avengers #avengers x reader #marvel #marvel x reader

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nochedura · 5 years

Text

bane “nochedura” bane timeline of events

so the thing about bane is most of the shit written with him in it is a) racist, b) ooc, c) a horrible mix of both, or d) uses him because of his status as Bat Breaker as a way to show someone else’s strength which is often times not realistic (ex. theres a new villain in town and to show how tough they are they clowned on bane). a lot of interpretations tend to forget he is brawn And brain (tbh i tend to write him as a strategist first and a fighter second) and its all just a mess.

this interpretation of bane is an attempt to right these wrongs and also streamline his canon a bit because we All Know comics are a mess and extremely inconsistent but especially with characters who don’t get their own titles. nochedura is an anti-hero and also currently on the path of redemption. obviously he’s still not nice and has done a lot of Fuck Shit but yknow. who hasnt.

with that in mind this is a very broad timeline of events that have happened to this bane in particular (with the links to the comics accompanying these events) to clarify what the heck is happening with this man and why he’s like this. im taking a lot of liberties here but fuck everybody im god. without further ado.

bane is born in pena duro. he grows up under the prison’s influence, gets a vision that he was born to rule and in order to become his ideal self he must kill his fear (which takes the form of a bat, obviously), spends 10 years in the cavidad obscura* after killing a man at 6 y/o, and comes out the biggest and the strongest. he trains his body and his mind (by reading thousands upon thousands of books) as he pursues self actualization. he learns from his ally bird that the greatest city in the world is gotham and it is ruled by batman and he decides to break out of prison and kill him to take gotham by force. he is selected for venom experimentation and is the only survivor of the drug’s intensity. the venom aids him in his efforts to get to gotham (if you read nothing else on this list read vengeance of bane #1 (+ 2) because its Good and its required bane reading material)

bane relocates to gotham after kidnapping and killing pena duro’s warden and studies batman. he’s able to figure out his secret identity within a few months and unleashes everybody from arkham city with the intent of mentally and physically breaking bruce so that he can kill him. this culminates in the final confrontation in which batman isn’t even strong enough to fight back and bane decides that killing him would be a mercy and breaks his back. (knightfall is long and incomprehensible so i’ll just link the directory page and broken bat #11)

bane rules gotham for a while and its sexy up until batman’s replacement azrael clowns on him. the fight’s pretty sexy but honestly i dont care about this that much. (he who rules the night #11)

after losing to azrael bane does some silent contemplation in black gate prison. he was taken off of venom cold turkey and suffers through crippling withdraws but he, and i quote, “bears the pain.” he realizes venom was, in fact, poisoning him and taking him further away from his Ideal Self. he finds out venom is being further distributed and after some nonsense breaks out of prison Again to track these clowns down. he has a confrontation with bruce who he tells he has no qualms with, decides he wants to find his father, and presumably goes back to santa prisca. this is also the beginning of bane coming to the conclusion that he’s an innocent man which comes up later. (vengeance of bane #2)

so this is where im Really taking liberties. this is what i’m choosing to call the switcheroo arc where i clown around and decide im in charge and im going to make this more comprehensive. bane goes to santa prisca and gets told that there are five men who could be his dad and it probably takes some time to narrow down that list (while also finding out who each of these men are) so i’m declaring that’s what he’s doing for a while. this search is ongoing and doesnt stop until, well, he finds him. he’s still a villain at this point even though he claims to be innocent.

this is also where he’s knocking out some loose ends. specifically he tracks down a reporter who interviewed him as a teen and murders him for knowing something that could paint him as sympathetic. (batman secret files #2)

it’s at this point that he joins up with the secret six. he probably does this for the purpose of networking and garnering information, but then gets sort of swept up in everything and grows extremely attached to scandal savage, who he takes in as an adopted daughter. secret six 2008 is long and has a lot going on but its a good time. (SPOILERS) at the end of it he convinces everyone in the group to go on a suicide mission with an ulterior motive of severing his attachments to them because he feels that his affection has weakened him. everything goes according to plan and he breaks out of a police van and fucks off. (/SPOILERS) (secret six 2008)

after some time away from all that he gets into a feud with ra’s al ghul who wanted bane as his heir but some bullshit happened with talia, i forget, this doesnt matter to me, what Does matter is he’s now on a crusade to fuck up all the lazarus pits for funsies. this is also the point where he realizes one of the men on his Dad List is thomas wayne. he confronts bruce about this and everyone in the batfam is, understandably, cross. but bruce is nothing without his rehabilitation shtick so he goes crime stopping with bane in the batmobile until the results of the drug test come out and thomas is not, in fact, the father. this absolutely crushes bane for reasons he doesnt understand (he’s a lonely man and it turns out he Does need a family) but batman tells bane if he proves he’s Actually innocent by, yknow, stopping crime rather than doing crime, then he’ll help him find his actual dad. he agrees, but uses... unconventional (read: horrific) methods. (gotham knights #33-36) (tw for rape)

bane continues fighting crime and trying to prove his innocence and change/redeem himself up until he actually finds his real dad who is.......... king snake! who at this point in the canon is really fucked up and somehow alive in the himalayas and is just a real mean son of a bitch. bane is conflicted because like, hey cool, a dad, but also, he kinda sucks! bane’s kinda fucked up himself because he’s been climbing up a mountain and he’s a little brain sicky so i think hes just like... trying to absorb everything and then the bat crew shows up because they do Not like the idea of bane finding his dad who is king snake who is also at a fucking lazarus pit. king snake gets pissed when they show up and starts attacking and almost shoots batman but bane, distraught, jumps in front of the bullet and takes several in the back, lamenting that he wishes thomas was his father and not king snake. king snake ends up getting killed(?) and batman dunks bane in the remainder of the lazarus pit and gets brought back to life, reborn and changed. (gotham knights #47-49)

at this point this is just. my own writing. i guess. but after bane, yknow, literally died for bruce, bruce realizes that bane truly has bettered himself and is on the path of becoming a good man. he welcomes bane into the vigilante side and, eventually, to the batfam itself. when a man breaks your back and then takes several machine gun bullets for you a few years later i figure batman’s like... alright we’re square. comics are like that.

this is also where bane realizes he was wrong to cut ties with the secret six and seeks out scandal savage and her wives and brings them back into his life as his adopted daughter (and daughters in law)

so bane’s just... clowning now. he’s still like, brutal, and when he’s fighting baddies he’s not opposed to just Wrecking their shit (see: the time he used one of mr. freeze’s goons’ freeze gun on his arm) and i think he definitely does some murders but only if it’s like. the sort of bastard who really deserves it(tm) so like. mass murderers. the joker. sex criminals. etc. he’s not always in bruce’s best graces and he’s still on THIN ICE with dick and tim and the rest but its a work in progress. he’s trying.

anyway i left out a Lot of shit because like. theres a lot. but this is ... the basics believe it or not tl;dr bane is a good man born into horrific circumstances and he did a LOT of bad shit but he’s working on redeeming himself.

#*originally it was called cavidad obscuro but thats. wrong. its bad spanish. im fixing it.#ooc #this is so long and im so sorry but this is my bane reading list so at least theres that.#i love talking about him so if you wanna know more my discord is available.#drug ment //

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robot-unicorn-attack · 5 years

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☽ SNOW, 31

“ The ice does not forgive.” —Leigh Bardugo

Real Name: MARIVANA IRINDRA

Agency: 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 (Ice World)

FC: Anna Selezneva

Unicorn Name: SPARKLE CHARMER [+]

Place of Birth: Ice World

Appearance: When Marivana made her comeback to the racing industry as Snow, she had two dozen tiny diamonds implanted into her irises (12 in each eye), arranged in a circle around her pupils. They’re just a tad lighter than her natural eye color, and it gives her eyes a certain cold steeliness, a certain unnatural hardness, when they catch in the light. Although the procedure was originally at the insistence of her agency, Marivana finds that she’s grown to like having the diamonds there. They make her look a bit more intimidating than she would normally be - perfect for fending off sales executives and creative directors who might get a little too handsy while on the job.

In addition, the current makeup looks that the stylists give her are all very dark and dramatic-all black eyeliner and smokey eyeshadow and diamond-encrusted fake eyelashes. It makes her look a tad villainous-like a ruthless evil queen-and Marivana thinks that she could be into that.

“ You think I’m not a goddess? Try me...Touch me and you’ll burn.” —Margaret Atwood

Wardrobe: If Marivana could have it her way, she’d dress in nothing but dark colors and streamlined, practical outfits (“It’s all very Lava World”, her agent had once said, disapprovingly). If she could have it her way, she’d wear severe gowns and sharp suits, without any makeup and with minimal jewelry.

But, of course, that is not how a racer for Ice World’s most prestigious racing agency dresses. When she was Snow Princess, Marivana would be forced into the most ridiculously elaborate gowns - Ice Worlders are never frilly, mind you, but they’e still very extra about their wardrobes. As Snow Princess, Marivana wore poofy fur-lined sleeves and dresses with modular skirts and layers upon layers of satin and tulle - not to mention all the fucking jewelry. Nowadays, however, Marivana’s image as the ice queen of unicorn racing means that she gets less satin and tulle, more diamonds and leather. Nevertheless, everything is still embellished with so many goddamn jewels and gemstones that Marivana feels 100 pounds heavier when she’s wearing some of the ensembles that the stylists put together for her.

Places most likely to be found: When there’s a race coming up, Marivana is usually on any one of the practice race tracks/areas. In the event that she has a bit of free time, Marivana likes to frequent each planet’s respective libraries. Before she was scouted, she’d planned on becoming a botanist, and the interest is still definitely there.

If she’s in Unicorn City, Marivana’s usually at whichever clubs, parties, galas, or promo events that her agency sends her to. Marivana usually hangs out along the side or in a corner - alone, unless someone else approaches her (and people usually do. She’s Snow, after all).

People mostly likely to be with: Sky and Ice, just because they’re from, you know, the same agency as Marivana.

Strongest character trait: Steely

“ I’m headed straight for the castle, they’re gonna make me their queen...and there’s an old man sitting on the throne that’s saying that I probably shouldn’t be so mean. ” —Halsey

Public Image: Cold, determined, aloof, and a bit cruel, a bit ruthless, a bit brutal: Snow is robot unicorn racing’s resident Ice Queen, and boy oh boy does her agency like to hype it up. Every year, they spin something about how her encounter with the thief who allegedly smashed her first unicorn to bits “changed” her from the dainty snow princess into her current icy persona. It’s bullshit, all of it, but Marivana will put up with the marketing and misinformation if it means that her agency will just let her continue running with this public image that matches up with what she’s actually like. She’s had enough of smiling until the entire lower half of her face feels numb to last a lifetime, thank you very much.

Racing Strengths: Marivana has been with Sparkle Charmer (S.C.) for almost ten years, meaning that she knows her unicorn. She knows everything that there is to know about S.C., from where her horn and hooves were manufactured to what breed of horse she was originally engineered from. And though she’s no mechanic, she’s well aware of how to do many of the basic repairs that S.C. might need.

The thing that makes her such a good racer, in Marivana’s opinion, is how well that she and S.C. know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. And there is, of course, the implicit trust in between them - Marivana is unyielding, yes, but only when she knows that she won’t endanger S.C. in doing so. She knows when, and how, to push S.C., and when to dial it back. Neither of them are afraid to take something head-on. Neither of them are afraid to put another racer and her unicorn in a tight spot in order to gain the upper-hand.

Racing Weaknesses: Marivana is perfectly good at navigating treacherous passes and maneuvering her way around plasma beams, yes, but she’s never been particularly great at the delicate dressage that other racers/unicorns excel at. She’s also not one for subtlety, of any kind - she would much rather dash through a star or stone golem than try to do a fancy jump and avoid it.

And, although she would never admit this in a million years, Marivana’s never been very good at adapting quickly to new situations. She likes to go in knowing what to expect, so on the off chance that she encounters something completely new, Marivana would be in a bit of a tight spot.

“ You should see me in a crown, your silence is my favorite sound. ” —Billie Eilish

Personality: Marivana’s entire image revolves around the fact that she’s cold, and it’s true-in fact, it’s the one part about her that her agency hasn’t lied about. Practical and pragmatic, with both feet planted firmly on the ground, Marivana is observant and brutally analytical; calm and collected under even the most trying of circumstances. She is logical and rational and constantly aware of her surroundings, thanks to being in the industry that she’s in for over ten years, and her cunning intelligence allows her to pick up even the slightest of cues.

Marivana is usually more “terrifying” than “charming”, but she is able to be charismatic, albeit in a vaguely terrifying sort of way. She is meticulous and thorough in everything she does, and she knows the ins and outs of the industry like the back of her hand. She tends to think things through before she acts, and rarely lets her temper get the best of her

Marivana tends to be coolly detached and aloof; she comes off as a bit haughty and snobby, sometimes, which perfectly fits her image as unicorn racing’s resident ice queen. She’s not the most moral of people, with more than just a bit of a ruthless streak in her, and her agency would have the galaxy believe that Marivana cares about nothing except for winning.

But they’re wrong. They’re wrong. Marivana cared very much for that first unicorn of hers, the one that her agency put down, the one that her agency then used basically for plot convenience in order to re-make Marivana’s image. She used to be angry and resentful about it, but nowadays, it’s more of a dull sort of ache, when she lets her mind wander back to that. If she lets her mind wander at all.

And so Marivana pretends that she truly does not care for anything except winning, and sometimes she can even fool herself into believing it. She pretends, as if this numbness was any better than the rage from before. As if pretending could somehow make her feel alright again.

(She knows that it won’t).

“ Rebel rebel, call me a rebel rebel; I walk the plank, not a tear in my eye; I won't go down, your blushing bride; Under the water I'll be sharpening my knife. ” —MILCK

Biography: Marivana, the former "Snow Princess", was once Ice World's sweetheart; at only seventeen with her blonde curls and sparkling blue eyes and a smile so pretty and sweet that people said it could melt ice, who would have not loved her? Her first unicorn was the same-extraordinarily gentle, with an even disposition and as pretty as a picture.

Marivana is one of those cases where a racer is scouted as much as for her looks as for her prior knowledge of robot unicorns/horses. She came from a middle class family from Ice World, one that could afford to send her to riding classes. Marivana did well in her competitions, but it was always more of a hobby than it was a career choice. But one day, by chance, an agent from 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 was at one of her competitions. And although she came in sixth, the agent decided that her specific combination of aesthetics and skills was just what 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 needed to round out its 3-racer team.

And so when she was seventeen, she signed a contract with 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 and became Snow Princess.

Marivana had always been stubborn and determined. She was a no-nonsense kind of girl who had never actually been all that popular amongst her peers, thanks to her general standoffish-ness and resting bitch face. But what 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 needed, when they brought her in, was a pretty face with blonde curls and blue eyes and a gentle smile.

Stars above, it was hard, to relax the tension in her forehead, to not look like she wanted to die every time she smiled. But the agency had her practice, and practice she did, until becoming Snow Princess was just like slipping on a scratchy sweater. Not the most comfortable sensation, no, one that felt a little wrong...but it was convincing enough, from the outside, and that was what mattered.

The public, of course, ate it up. That, combined with Marivana’s hours and hours of practice, brought her success. Her career was on a precipitous rise during the first couple of years; the Estrellian Federation and the rest of the unicorn racing world just couldn't seem to get enough of Snow Princess and her unicorn. But her life was turned upside down when the terrorist attacks on Unicorn City were attributed back to rogue AI; one night, as she was returning back to the training facility with her unicorn, a thief tried to rob her of everything she owned. Marivana's unicorn saw her panicking and intervened, killing the thief. Normally, this would not have been such a big deal, but with anti-robot sentiment on the rise, Marivana's racing agency was forced to deactivate ("put down") her unicorn in order to avoid legal sanctions from Ice World’s governement.

For the next three competition seasons, Snow Princess with her sweet smile and blonde curls were nowhere to be seen, and fans anxiously waited for her return. And return she did, but she was different. Marivana came back with Sparkle Charmer (who has been her unicorn ever since), but she dropped the "Princess" from her stage name and all the pretty smiles were gone.

Marivana (now known as "Snow") made a name for herself in the industry with both her unbeatable technique and her ruthless nature; cold and ambitious, she would do anything to rise to the top, according to her bio on her agency’s website. And with both Sparkle Charmer and the backstory that 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 spun up for them, her career sky-rocketed. The Ice Worlders loved the way that she and Sparkle Charmer simply smashed through stars and golems alike; they were fascinated by how Sparkle and Snow could hang still in the air, suspended by nothing but strength and sheer willpower alone. Snow and Sparkle are not known for their fancy flying or their nimble maneuvers. They are known for their raw strength and power and their gritty sort of determination. They are harsh, blunt, unyielding-something that, despite all their insistences on politeness and propriety, Ice Worlders absolutely adore.

Marivana is now over thirty, but she shows no signs of retiring (yet)...and she's definitely good enough to compete with newer, younger racers. These days, she is widely considered to be an industry veteran. She stays with 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙, if only because they give her perks and have generally left her alone, but she’ll never forget how they took what happened with her first unicorn (which was allegedly “smashed to bits” by the thief, according to the official statement the racing agency put out) and turned it into a fucking marketing shtick.

“ Of course I’m a threat. Why? Did you think for a moment that I wasn’t?” —Emma Frost (Marvel’s X-men)

Relationships:

Sky -

Ice -

Supernova - Marivana is...pretty indifferent? when it comes to Supernova. She knows who she is and what she’s done, of course-who doesn’t?-but if you think that she’d be starstruck and/or falling over herself when Supernova’s around her...well, you’d be wrong. Marivana’s had multiple trusted parties tell her that she’s just as good as Supernova was, at her peak, so she knows that she’s not a threat-for now, at least. Marivana’s a bit wary of the other racer, but also a bit curious to see as to where this comeback will lead.

Sunbeam -

Flower - Marivana knows exactly what 𝑅 𝐼 𝒮 𝐸 is pulling with Flower (her own agency did the same thing to her, after all), and she is not fooled at all. She’s not stupid; in the robot unicorn racing industry, nobody is completely, utterly unknown when they debut unless they had no prior experience with robot horses/unicorns in the past. Marivana knows that Flower probably had to work her butt off to stay with 𝑅 𝐼 𝒮 𝐸, and she would bet her right hand that the image that Flower puts out to the public is just that - an image.

Flame - Marivana knows about 1) the image that she projects, and 2) that this image is pretty true to who Flame really is, for the most part. Her verdict? Flame could prove to be annoying, if she gets relevant while Marivana is still in the industry as a racer. Marivana doesn’t know what life not racing would be like, but she’s well-aware that she’s the oldest racer out there (well, besides Supernova, who doesn’t count. She’s making a comeback, after all), and that retirement is probably not too far out in her future. So, if Flame is still around within the next 5-10 years, then Marivana might start worrying about her. For now, she’s just the irritating racer with ʟᴀᴢᴇʀ who won’t ever stop causing a scene.

Nyx -

Widowmaker -

Playlist:

“Freeze you Out” by Sia

“Adios” by Everglow

“You should see me in a crown” by Billie Eilish

“Castle” by Halsey

“Devil Devil” by MILCK

“Glory and Gore” by Lorde

“The Lady in Red” by Jolin Tsai

“Samaritan” by ionnalee

Headcanons:

Marivana addresses her unicorn as S.C., because ‘Sparkle Charmer’ is a mouthful and just ‘Sparkle’ is too Snow Princess, in her opinion.

She gets lots of points for strength and technique/execution when she races, but not so much for speed or precision.

Marivana has always been slightly more sympathetic to Flower than she normally would be to other new faces, just because she knows exactly what Flower’s agency is putting her through.

That one scene with Flower, the 50-pound diamond headdress, and a creepy drunk guy at a club in Unicorn City (The Neon Demon)

Basically, all the Aurivana content. Secret relationship???? Secret relationship.

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ayzrules/and-the-rest-is-rust-and-stardust-rua/snow-sparkle-charmer/

Official Bio on Agency Website: https://robot-unicorn-attack.tumblr.com/database-snow

#snow #racers #sparkle charmer #racer info #marivana #written by alicia/ayz!!

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morshtalon · 5 years

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Digital Devil Monogatari: Megami Tensei

Possibly part 1 of a series of posts on the whole series, maybe?

So, the first game in the popular MegaTen franchise is, wouldn't you know it, kind of weird. It was actually a video game sequel to a series of two novels starring a sort of villainous protagonist and the (government-mandated to exist ubiquitously through japanese media) high school exchange student as they become indirectly related to the summoning of ancient bad dudes Loki and Set through the magic of 80's computer programming, go into historic japanese landmarks to resurrect shinto goddesses, witness horrific, gruesome, sometimes sexual actions from the demons, go to space, fight using gods that turn into swords, and generally have a good time.

Naturally, considering the, um... Notorious source material, it's only logical that the videogame adaptation would, then, turn the sort of dark, villainous, intelligent programmer guy into a blank slate warrior with no personality, the girl into a standard RPG magic user, and drop them into a big dungeon crawl with almost no plot, nonsensical NPCs and a connection with the novels so tenuous they might as well have just taken some inspiration from it and opted to create a more original IP instead (I dunno, maybe put a "shin" in front of the title or something). Thus is born the antiquated experience that is Digital Devil Story: Megami Tensei.

While Japanese gamers did at the time have the original version of Dragon Quest - with the sprites that always faced down and the lack of a save system - ushering in a new style of role-playing gameplay into the mainstream, I suppose the mindset of RPG development was still rooted in the design philosophies of the western games from throughout the decade that were distilled into DQ. Games that, like Megami Tensei, typically featured a simplistic first-person view and a party of six characters, following the rough guidelines of the most recent version of D&D, and had generally no plot development, consisting instead of a hardcore, punishing trek through a few 20x20 grid mazes full of traps and gimmicks.

Furthermore, this type of experience, from what I heard, was huge in Japan, so it's no wonder Atlus chose to capitalize on that market instead of streamlining it and risk losing fans of the genre that were looking for an experience similar to what they had witnessed from RPGs so far. Less cynically, it's also entirely possible the developers themselves were huge fans of the first person dungeon crawler and wanted to replicate their positive experiences in a passionate love letter to the genre. Also, for what it's worth, they did add uniqueness in party management and customization, as you surely already know, but we'll get to that later.

I guess we'll never know the true context behind the original MegaTen's creation, but the point is, this is a very old-school game. I don't think it's nearly as brutal as the ones that inspired it, but it is also definitely far from holding your hand. At no point in the game is it entirely obvious exactly where items you're supposed to collect are located, so you mostly have no choice but to comb the entire dungeon yourself until you stumble upon the stuff you need to progress. Furthermore, sometimes the very NPCs that tell you there's even something to look for at all are slightly out of your way, so there's always the mental pressure of maybe having left something behind and having to backtrack and go to all sorts of places trying to find it when you run into the next dead-end.

By itself, this isn't really a bad thing. As an exploration-based dungeon crawl, it's expected that the player will have some agency over what they're doing, and it's refreshing to see a game where you have so much ground to cover, but with hardly any setpiece to spice up the crawling in terms of context, the job of entertaining the player falls squarely upon the gameplay's shoulders.

To that end, the gameplay is definitely more boring than stimulating. This is where I have to admit, I beat the Kyuuyaku Megami Tensei remake version of it. I have played the original, though, and I am aware of the differences between versions. I have also played future games in the franchise with the same issues, so there's no evidence that the original is much different in this regard. Anyway, apart from an intense earlygame where you're at risk of death from a stray Zan spell cast by a gnome if you're unlucky, the rest of the game's fights are uneventful, once you level up enough and have an array of serviceable demons at your side. There's only ever one group of enemy demons per fight. There can be up to eight of them, but all eight are the same type of demon, and the graphics will only show the one until the entire group is dead. It's kind of like every fight is against only one demon but the demon can attack several times and has an erratic, huge HP pool. Furthermore, targeting is completely random for all moves, and you'd think this would add a fake layer of frustration, but the game gives you an auto-battle option. It simply makes the entire party use their regular attack for as many rounds as you want and prevents text from popping up on screen to slow down the monster-slaying, but for the most part, this is more than enough to get you through whatever part of the dungeon you find yourself in, with only the occasional, very rare exceptions of either:

-A demon that has a dangerous ability, therefore making it so that you want to kill them as quickly as possible;

-A boss;

-A battle that you got yourself into without noticing your HP is getting low, so you have to get yourself back to good conditions before proceeding.

It's definitely more of a preparations game than a reactions game. Preparation is fine, but there's never any need for you to deploy clever strategies. The game is ALL about having a good arsenal of choices up your sleeve and, when you do, you're good to go, and then you need to be either very callous or purposefully challenging yourself while playing in order to get into a situation that requires mental resourcefulness and wit. I will admit, I checked some of the mechanical differences between the original and remake versions, and it seems like they reduced the HP of enemies and bosses quite a bit, and generally went to great lengths to streamline the gameplay and make it more in tune with the next few games in the series (as far I could tell from the party itself, Kyuuyaku seems to have taken the inner workings from Megami Tensei II and applied it retroactively to the first game as well to make it more consistent, but I'm not 100% sure). Maybe this means that the original is more nerve-wracking and you need to level up much more, but I doubt it really becomes more strategy-based and oriented towards exploiting the mechanics, like the style future franchise titles would strive to achieve. As far as I can tell, the abilities remain the same, only the stats change, so it's likely more of a formula redesign than any major gameplay departure. If it is though, I apologize, and rectify my statements regarding battle mechanics boredom as far as the original version is concerned.

But hey, regardless of version, the whole demon system is pretty cool. I don't remember the characters doing it much in the books, I believe Nakajima only had Cerberus and that was it, so there's a nice, original expansion of the novels'... mechanics (?) on display here. I don't think the demon conversation, recruitment and fusion systems need any introduction, but I will say that up until Shin Megami Tensei II, the seventh overall game in the franchise, for some odd reason all demons were limited to three abilities/spells (later three spells and a few abilities), so they were not very versatile. Furthermore, magic and abilities generally sucked for the most part in early MegaTen, and in this game, outside of Hanmahan, group healing and the occasional kaja spell, all you really want is a good punching bag to take the heat off of Nakajima and Yumiko.

Also, maybe it's just in the remake, but there are quite a few demons that are exclusive to the player through demon fusion. This begins happening from pretty much the start of the game, making them sort of unique all the way through and making it sort of cool for the player to go around with these demons that you can't see anywhere else and who are usually more powerful than the enemy demons in the area. Still, however, the limited abilities and limited usefulness of said abilities make things a bit boring and makes the demons sort of interchangeable for the most part, especially considering you can't even see them in battle. But hey, in 1987 I'm sure the vast array of options alone would have been pretty impressive and, considering the plethora of real-life inspiration that was put into the demons' designs, it's kind of still impressive today, really.

Enemies do have a few tricks of their own up their sleeve, too, though, and they usually fall into the "early RPG unfairness" spectrum quite nicely, such as being able to cast death spells when the game's programming is such that you get a game over if the 2 (out of 6) human party members die, even if all your demons are still alive (naturally the final boss can use a pretty accurate version of this move), or the loathsome "smiles and laughs" attack that permanently drains an experience level from a human party member if it hits, making you have to work your way back up again without even the mercy of having the enemy that sucked your level give a massive hoard of EXP when defeated. Or the mercy of adjusting the experience table (if you're level 41 and get a level sucked from you, now you're level 40 but you still need enough experience for level 42 to get back to level 41). It's basically a reset button.

The original version also had some major frustration in the fact that there was, like DQ and so many others of its time, no save feature. You had to visit a guy near the start of the game to get a password or use a late game spell from the girl. There was also no auto-mapping feature (though the mapper/mappara spell did exist, in the old MegaTen-style 3x5 grid), so you just had to create maps yourself, I guess, which is kind of like wizardry and bard's tale and such, and kind of interesting. Though, for a game that isn't all that stimulating otherwise, it's good that in the remake you don't also have to go get a sheet of graph paper to keep track of where you've been. I'm torn on whether the original's extra doses of hardcore game design are better or worse than the remake's streamlining, but it seems to me like the hardcoreness, probably caused by memory limitations and such, served more like an arbitrary layer of confusion placed over a game that didn't really have a juicy core, while the remake's alleviation of it brought about the black spots a bit more into the limelight... It's hard to make up my mind.

The more standard things to talk about in a review are usually average-to-enjoyable here. The environment graphics are pretty good for their time in the original version, and the remake has some good stuff in the late-game, but has a tendency to make the ground a fake-looking gradient that feels artificial and standoffish. Demon designs are always a treat in MegaTen and I wouldn't say this game is an exception, but I think the original designs look kind of goofy for the most part, while the remake uses the scaled-down style of SMT II and SMT If... instead of the better-looking, more detailed style of SMT I, so that's somewhat disappointing. The music is alright, nothing special, but it starts with really cheery, upbeat tunes that go against the ambiance, especially in the remake where they added a dark-ish prologue with more fitting, atmospheric music. The sheer length of each individual section of the dungeon means the tracks will start to get repetitive at some point, and they have a repetitive nature on their own, but they're not bad. I like the bass in Valhalla Corridor. I also like the last two areas' music. Bien's track sucks, though.

Either way, it surely isn't a great game. Nor does it have to be one, honestly. It's a 1987, sort of experimental game that toyed around with the concept of a dungeon crawler in a very japanese setting coming from a very risqué source. It has its merits in creativity, sorely marred by technical limitations and overly emphasizing on its subpar dungeon crawling gameplay, extending it to the point where it overstays its welcome quite a bit. The devs were wise in keeping the plot connections to its immediate sequel small (and it is fascinating, how different it is from all others in the franchise) because Megami Tensei 1 doesn't stand the test of time.

But again, such a thing shouldn't be expected from a late eighties, obscure weird little game, and for what it's worth, like I said about Dragon Quest, it served as a base, though in my opinion a rockier one, with which to found gameplay mechanics that would be expanded upon and embellished in future titles. I'd give it a 4 out of 10, perhaps an honorary extra half-point if the original version's gameplay is a tad more stimulating, but really it's hard to even give games like this a score. They're a product of the times, and they appeal to sensibilities of the times. Gamer mentalities, even within the genre, have moved past it, but it stays here as a testament to the growth of the series. Going into it, you're likely very aware of its shortcomings already, and whether you'd like it or not is, I think, even more independent of whatever mess of words I'd be able to string together like this than usual.

#megaten #megami tensei #review #criticism

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comickergirl · 6 years

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I’ve got a pretty big soft spot for Kara’s Daring New Adventures costume, with the shorts and choker. What do you think about that one? And what are your ranking of Supergirl costumes?

I am a HUGE FAN of Kara’s look in Daring New Adventures. Definitely one of my favorite costumes.

I’ve got a few posts about various Supergirl costumes, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually ranked them! So I’ll give it a shot. XD

Okay, so here it is: Supergirl Costumes, RANKED, from the Least Favorite to HECK YEAH!*

*DISCLAIMERS BEFORE WE BEGIN: Obviously this stuff is subjective, so my list is probably going to be different that other folks’ lists, and so on and so forth. Personally, I value simple, effective designs that are both functional and…oh, what’s a good word. They’re superhero costumes. Like, sure, you could probably get the same stuff done in a Kevlar vest and cargo pants, but there isn’t really a ton of flair to be had when you go the practical route

And bonus points if the costume reflects the character’s personality/disposition, and has a story reason for existing.

Also I don’t think I’ve got EVERY DESIGN, EVER, for any and all Karas in the multiverse, because this post is ALREADY crazy long; we need not make it longer. XD

OKAY, so now that that’s done, LET’S GO:

25. Brainwashed Apokolips Supergirl

Proof that ‘adding pants’ won’t always solve your costume problems.

24. Dark Supergirl

So, here’s the thing: I love the black and silver Superman costume. LOVE. IT. So it should follow that I love the Supergirl variation, right? …Well. Sometimes, a design that would otherwise be ‘just fine’ is pushed into ‘oh God, please no,’ by 1.) a terrible story surrounding said design and 2.) really weird, sexualized artwork. Such is the case with our dear friend Dark Supergirl. Which is why it sits so low on the list. (And for those curious, yes, the blue equivalent also sits down here as well, because there’s just. A lot about this era that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.)

23. Flamebird

Another design brought low by being wrapped up with a terrible story. (I think I dislike the Kandor plot more than the Dark Supergirl plot, actually.) This feels over-designed and like it’s trying way too hard to be edgy. Less ‘edgy’ than Apokolips Girl up there, but. Close.

22. New 52

This isn’t awful in theory but that red…er…plate? kinda ruins the whole thing. Some artists did their best to make the plate look more like the equivalent of Clark’s trunks, but at it’s worst it’s just an awkward patch that looks even more awkward from a variety of angles. (And it’s BRIGHT RED so it distracts you from the other, more effective areas of the design. NOT GREAT, BOB. NOT GREAT.)

21. Bombshells

Look this one is absolutely a personal taste thing, I’ve just never been into the pin-up aesthetic.

20. Superman: The Animated Series

I dunno, this design just never really worked for me. It’s not bad–in fact, it’s really simple and clean, but. *shrugs* Maybe it’s just too much a departure from what I generally associate with the Superman ‘family’ of costumes. Also, the gloves always make me think of like. Loony Tunes and Mickey Mouse. (But I love the boots, guys. Those are great.) (I didn’t include her later JLU costume on this list, but know that I like it a lot.)

19. Justice League 3001

Not a huge fan of the color blocking for this look. The crest is cool, but. The shapes don’t really mesh well, IMO.

18. 70s Hot pants

I like 50% of this costume! As we will see shortly! But that remaining 50% really kills it, man. The way the shorts/hot pants are drawn, they just end up looking like really uncomfortable underwear.

17. Cyborg Supergirl

I’m just not a mech/tech armor person. Lot of plating and circuitry…kinda starts to look too busy and you lose the cooler design elements. (But there’s a story reason for it! So it does get some points in that regard!)

16. Red Lantern

Weird color blocking/shape language strikes again! Not a fan of the knees and torso. (But! It ranks way higher than the new 52 because it makes the plate into an actual full piece of clothing. Improvement!) Mask is really cool. And the sleeves.

15. Elseworld’s Finest

Honestly it’s not a bad design. Pretty simple and slick. Mostly, it’s just kinda plain. I like the way the cape attaches to the main portion, and the boots!

14. Crucible Academy

A bit more streamlined that the Cyborg look. Not at all a bad design. But again. Just not into the mech armor take.

13. DC Superhero Girls

I actually really like this? I mean, she’s adorable? But I don’t quite understand the shirt. Is it a polo? Sweater vest? A sweater vest on TOP of a polo? IDK, it’s a mystery.

12. Gotham City Garage

Belly shirt feels a little dated, but otherwise, I dig it.

11. 1984 Movie Costume

HONESTLY, FRIENDS. ALL THINGS CONSIDERED…IT’S A SMALL MIRACLE THAT THIS COSTUME LOOKS AS GOOD AS IT DOES. We’re starting to move towards my personal favorite look for Supergirl–it’s got all the right elements! But the belt’s not great, and the material–I mean it works but it’s a costume from a movie that’s three decades old. So it’s a touch dated.

10. Headband

So we’re at the point where a lot of these designs are gonna start to look similar so really I can only rank them based on nitpicky things. XD Like, I don’t love when the skirt comes to a point like that, and the way the pleating is drawn makes the skirt sort of…hang weird. (Yes I realize it’s ridiculous to talk about gravity affecting fabric in a DRAWING where neither of those things actually exist but here we are.) Overall though? The crest is nice and bold, the shape is cool, it works well with the rest of the outfit, and they are just LEANING INTO THAT HEADBAND. YOU GO, KARA. (Also heeeeeey STORY REASON FOR HEADBAND so you know what that means. BONUS POINTS.)

9. Matrix

Improves on the areas that I don’t personally dig on the Headband costume–belts and boots are GREAT. Skirt still comes to a point though. :/

8. Linda Danvers

This is why I can’t really take that Flamebird design seriously. You want your Supergirl to look edgy? DOESN’T GET EDGIER THAN FIRE WINGS, BRO.

7. Injustice 2

It’s a video game, so you’ve got SEAMS and WEIRD RANDOM DETAILS and SUPERFLUOUS DESIGN NONSENSE (see: the costume options for the metal thigh bands) but GIVEN that it’s a video game, this coulda gone so bad, bro. So credit where credit is due. XD Don’t like the gloves and bare arms, though.

6. Jamal Igle Update

They took a costume that was…causing problems, and they made it work. Really, really well.

5. Smallville Season 11

Okay, when they advertised this comic, and Kara’s costume, I was not into it. And then I read it, and LO AND BEHOLD, IT’S G8. The color blocking is KINDA CRAZY but remarkably, when you start drawing it in action? It just. It looks good.

4. Rebirth

IT’S JUST SO CLASSIC. (So why is it not in the top three? Because of that infernal skirt point, I tell ya.)

3. Silver Age

I mean they basically NAILED IT right out the GATE man. NOICE.

2. Daring New Adventures

The 80s fix the 50% I didn’t like in 70s look–there’s just something about adding those boots…I dunno man, it just MAKES IT WORK MUCH BETTER. I love this look. I love this era in the comics. I love Carmine Infantino’s art. LOTTA LOVE, IN THIS NUMBER 2 SPOT.

SO WHAT’S NUMBER ONE?

Oh come on, like you guys didn’t know. XD

1. TV Show Costume

Listen. Listen. A real human being puts this suit on–a human being subject to gravity and weather and REAL WORLD** SCENARIOS–and it’s not a train wreck. The silhouette is nice! The material is convincingly durable! There are little design elements that don’t overwhelm the overall look! The CAPE HANGS WELL AND LOOKS SO GOOD, GUYS. SO GOOD. The skirt does not come to that awkward point and the minimal pleating is well hidden by that front portion. The tights and boots help with the whole ‘flying around in a skirt’ thing by covering her legs completely, and the shirt is actually a leotard, so it’s comparable to stuff that dancers wear.

LOOKS GOOD.

WORKS WELL.

ALIGNS NICELY WITH KARA’S CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY.

SCREAMS: SUPER! AT THE TOP OF ITS PRIMARY COLORED LUNGS.

LETS FOLKS KNOW THAT YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY KICK BUTT AND TAKE NAMES IN A SKIRT.

So yes. It wins. Forever and always.

Honorable Mentions: Every single one of Kevin Wada and Cory J. Walker’s Supergirl designs.

#secretlyasummers #comicker replies #supergirl #costumes #comics talk #long post

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technicolorfamiliar · 6 years

Text

The Artist vs Social Media

I have been sharing my feelings about art and its ever-growing relationship to social media with a number of people recently. I wrote a bit about it here some months ago, but that was primarily focused on reactions to different types of art I was posting on different platforms. Without a doubt, it’s been something that’s given me pause for a while, and I have a suspicion I can’t be the only person that feels this way.

To be clear: this is not meant to be an attack on the people who enjoy and excel at being a creative on social media. It is purely an expression of my own frustration, a cry out to others who have struggled with the same issues, because I know I’m not alone.

First of all, my personal style just doesn’t compliment a successful social media presence, I’m such a fan of the long-format, in general. I don’t want anything in my life to be bite-sized, cropped, or condensed. I struggle to convey the concepts teeming in my heart in a limited number of characters and pixels. As I am evolving as an artist, I enjoy incorporating many layers of meaning, drawing on a multitude of sources for inspiration. Social media, for the most part, wants to condense, compartmentalize, limit. It’s short-format, lacks fluidity, and promotes shorter attention spans. It feels counterintuitive to the kind of art I love and the art I want to be making.

For as streamlined and easy as social media has made sharing artwork with the great big world out there, it’s also birthed a lot of additional anxiety and despair. At least that’s been my experience. Some people have taken to social media like ducks to water, they are thriving in an endless stream of posts and pictures and stories. But this particular artmaker finds the rise of social media more like an impossible mountain, and climbing it is a requirement.

I envy the artists and makers who have figured out how to hack social media in order to promote their work and their brand. These people make it look easy, like social media integration with one’s art practice is as simple as breathing. I understand how it is crucial now as any kind of artist to have a big social media presence. But despite that understanding, I still have a lot of issues with it.

I was in art school in the still relatively early days of Instagram. Facebook and Twitter were big, but I didn’t really ever get too deeply involved in either platform. For me, Facebook was mostly for staying in touch with friends and family back home. I didn’t even have a smart phone until some time after I graduated. The school I attended encouraged us to build a website, get a business card, but there was no way to prepare us for the expansion of these apps among others that would emerge later on. This is not a sorry attempt at an excuse for my complicated relationship with social media, because there are a lot of artists in their early 30s right now who are very clearly doing well in that arena.

Circa 2009 – 2011, using social media for networking was beginning to be a real thing to consider. Having a Facebook page and separate Instagram and Twitter accounts devoted to your craft in addition to your website and blog in order to reach all possible professional connections was increasingly important. And now, they are all absolutely essential. People think you must be kidding yourself if you’re making art and don’t have a social media presence. I’ve caught myself being judgmental of young artists who aren’t on social media. But then I’m reminded of my own issues with Facebook and Instagram and all the others and I think maybe I should shut my mouth.

—

That’s the background. The real thing I’m trying to say is this:

Social media is exhausting.

I hate it.

For all the good content being generated and shared on FB, IG, etc there are a thousand mentally and emotionally draining posts being shared by people who, by and large, aren’t on social media to promote their craft. And that’s fine, people should have a place to vent their frustrations, laugh at funny or un-funny memes, share recipes and cute animal videos, get 100+ validating reactions to their photos, post thoughts/criticisms/ideas too long for Twitter but too short for a blog…

But to expect an artist generating original content to compete with everything else being blasted on every social media platform is complete and utter unrealistic nonsense.

—

My big, huge, major beef with social media is the totally insane decision to stop having posts featured in chronological order on pretty much every major platform. This really hurts creative people who are trying to get exposure, share their work to the world (or at least their friends and followers), and requires them to generate even more content, or share the same post over and over again in the hopes that their painting or photo or video somehow makes it over all the other posts from everybody else that are only just so much noise. Trying to get noticed or share your work with likeminded creatives you don’t already know is like shouting in a canyon full of other people shouting, drowned out by all the other voices and the echoes of the voices.

But that’s not the only thing about social media that keeps me up at night.

There are people on social media who have become experts in making their lives look like perfect, magical journeys of self discovery and growth and good fortune. Seeing their perfectly composed, perfectly lit photos of what is supposedly their daily lives, their brunches, their cocktails, their pets, their clothes, their travels, their significant others, and whatever else makes me want to not even try. Why should I even bother to try to compete with that? Looking at those kinds of posts immediately makes me feel inferior because 1) I’m not living that theoretically beautiful, charmed life, and 2) I’m not generating masses of content like that of my own experience. I look at my weird little life and there’s hardly anything photo- or post-worthy, at least not on a daily basis, not enough to get above everyone else’s noise. When did having a social media presence become an art form in and of itself? One of my very close friends described social media as performance art, which is probably the best description of this phenomenon I’ve ever heard. I’m not saying it’s not hard work — in order to project this perfect life, you have to be a photographer, or at least know and/or have the money to pay for one, be a master of self-marketing, and you have to set aside the time in your day to make the posts (more on that in a bit). But as someone with at least half a brain, I know that the content being gobbled up by glowing, supportive friends and followers is only a version of reality.

I know I’m not the only one who feels utterly alienated by the “perfect lives” being presented on social media, and I know that it’s not most people’s intention to alienate their friends by posting gorgeous photographs and positive affirmations of their own journeys.

And yet, even just thinking about it is exhausting. It’s a destructive and deadly combination of self-loathing and self-doubt inspired by the vast majority of what I see on Facebook and Instagram with knowing full well that those feelings are totally unfounded since the posts are not a true reflection of reality. It doesn’t motivate me, it doesn’t inspire me to follow their lead, it doesn’t get my blood pumping. It just makes me tired.

—

By my nature, I am a relatively private person. I have no real desire to share my private life with strangers, and it’s a struggle for me to open up to acquaintances. I have a hard time talking about myself, my dreams and aspirations, my needs and wants with other people. I keep to myself, I have a small circle of close friends and family with whom I share things openly.

There’s nothing like the gut-wrenching feeling you get when you’re talking passionately about your art or your interests or your hopes for the future with someone and seeing the very moment their eyes glaze over with disinterest. It’s a special kind of soul-crushing dismissal that has lead me to live an introvert’s life. Because why, after all, would I share anything with people when that’s the reaction I often got in my youth when sharing with my peers?

The whole grand purpose of social media is to share. Share everything and share often. Artists who hold regular jobs and don’t have an abundance of free time or energy to devote to generating social media content on top of the art they’re already making need to find that magical balance. The Buzzfeed article about burnout that was circulating a few months ago touches on this a bit. Work + Art + Self Promotion. That’s always been the case for artists looking to make a profit off their work, but now it’s on a whole other level and puts creatives in direct competition with social media influencers and everyone else on FB, IG, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat, etc. When I say time and energy, I mean the lack of energy I personally have after a working a job that already requires me to use my creativity, strategy, and organizational skills. When I get home or when I finish a job, I want to recharge so I can have the energy and motivation to actually sit in my studio and make new art. I struggle with budgeting out my time and energy for taking photos, writing cute little descriptions, thinking up clever hashtags, and setting timers to remind me when to post in order to get the most views.

I’m over-focused right now on making the art, in finding my voice as an illustrator, in re-vamping my portfolio and considering the future of my practice. I would need a personal assistant to run my social media accounts in an effective and professional way, and I don’t understand how other artists don’t have assistants. Or maybe they do. At the very least it would require me to have my phone in my hand far more than I already do, so another reason to keep it on me, especially in my studio while I’m in the zone, working, makes me feel gross.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “But Emma… you took all this time to write and edit this long blog post. Surely you could have used that time to work on content for your IG or FB accounts.” And you would be right. However, I’m in a place mentally and emotionally where I see the social media game, I understand it, but I just don’t want to play it. Not the way we’re all expected to if we want to get noticed. I’m not a performance artist, I’m not extroverted enough, my process doesn’t lend itself to this new gold standard of being an artist in the 21st century. Am I making big strides to change my process? Not really, because the very nature of social media feels inauthentic to me and the work I want to be making.

—

In the end… I don’t really know how to make social media work for me and my own journey as an artist. It would be great if there was some compromise, some middle path for people like me who are rubbed the wrong way by hashtags and stories and filters. Is there even a possibility for existing any other way as an artist today? Because everyone I know who creates any kind of art seems to have accepted and figured out the key to doing well on social media. It’s almost not even worth airing my grievances since I’m not willing to completely change and conform to something that does not feel right to me.

I’ll just keep plugging along as I have been until I figure it out. Or some kind souls who have been through a similar conundrum swoop in and offer their wisdom and insight.

#my writing #art vs social media #long post

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