#just thinking i’ve seen more people die on video in the past 4 months than the rest of my life combined | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skyeet-the-writer · 4 years ago

Text

The Love Among Us

Chapter 1-- I’d Never Snitch On Daddy

so i haven’t seen many corpse husband x reader stories on here, so i decided to upload one myself. i’ve been watching jacksepticeye’s among us videos and when i heard corpse talk for the first time, i was like, “hol up” and now i’ve been obsessed with him. also, go stream his music on spotify, it’s amazing. enjoy! x.

corpse husband x female!reader

summary: while playing among us, y/n watches corpse kill felix in o2. when his body is reported, however, she doesn’t tell who killed him.

word count: ~3.6k

warnings: swearing, mentions of death (not real death), mentions of murder (not real murder)

EDIT: before i wrote this and after i published it, i did not know that corpse did not like to be referred to as “daddy”. had i known this, i would have not even thought of posting this. and since i know now, i won’t refer to him as such in the future. thank you. (10/19/2020)

EDIT 2: this is the first part to my corpse x reader series. i will be adding chapters as we go!

next>

4 rounds before the incident

“I was in coms with PJ!” Sean exclaims.

“He is doing the liar voice!” Felix shouts with a laugh.

“I’m not,” Sean tries to say, but everyone talks over him and the voting time ends. Everyone left alive, though it was only four people, had all voted for him and he yells at them as he gets ejected.

stinky was not the imposter

2 imposters remain

The round ends and everyone unmutes themselves.

“Lizzie, you saw Felix kill me and you did nothing!” Roomie yells as soon as the round ends and the imposters are revealed.

“Yeah, because I was the other imposter.”

“Oh. Okay, well that makes sense.”

Everyone laughs and Ken starts the round again.

“Wait, can I invite y/n to play? She’s doing her twenty-four-hour stream and she just finished playing Monopoly with Mark, Bob, and Wade,” says Lizzie, looking down at her phone as they all appear back in the waiting room.

“Yes,” Corpse blurts out and there are a few laughs and chuckles.

“You were quick to answer, Corpse,” Sean teases.

“Shut up,” Corpse mumbles and there are even more laughs.

Lizzie smiles and taps into her phone. “I’m gonna invite her.”

“I can’t believe that you actually made that deal, y/n,” Wade is telling you after ending the second round of Monopoly that you’ve played with them.

You smile and cross your legs on your chair. “Look, I was going bankrupt and it seemed good at the time. Besides, Mark was going to win anyway, he owned half of the board.” Your phone buzzes beside you on your desk and you pick it up. “Lizzie texted me.” There’s a sound effect that plays in your headset and you look up at your screen and smile. “Thanks to _lorieplays _for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot. Thank you so much.”

“Do you want to play another round?” Marks asks.

You shake your head, reading the text from your friend in England. “No, I don’t want to lose to you again.” You laugh. “Nah, Lizzie wants me to play Among Us with her and a few others. It was fun playing with you guys.”

“It was even though you took all of my money,” Bob snaps.

You laugh. “Yeah, yeah. See you guys later.”

“Bye,” says Mark.

“See y--” Wade begins but you cut him off when you disconnect from the call.

“Oops.” You put a hand over your mouth and laugh. “Sorry, Wade. Okay.” You straighten up and glance over everything, making sure it’s all working properly. “I have to pee and I think my roommate ordered pizza, so we’ll be back after this short break. Enjoy this live feed of my pet rats.” You giggle and switch the stream over to a view of your two rats in their cage where you have a camera set up. You take your headset off and head out of your recording room.

Every two months, you have a twenty-four-hour livestream where you play games with your friends from all around the world. Despite being only twenty-five, your Youtube channel had grown exponentially in the past three years and you’ve had the chance to meet lots of other Youtubers like Markiplier, PewDiePie, and your close friend, LDShadowLady.

Currently, you’re on hour twenty of twenty-four and you’re beginning to feel the effects of not sleeping for a whole day. You had been drinking coffee and energy drinks for the past four hours and that seemed to perk you up for two hours max. But your roommate had ordered pizza and that would hopefully wake you up.

After going to the bathroom and grabbing an entire box of pizza, you return to your recording room and sit down. You put your headset back on and eat a slice of pizza before switching the views back to you. “And we’re back. I hope you guys enjoyed my rats because I don’t. They keep me up at night.”

You read a comment while loading up Among Us and laugh. “No, they’re not dead. They’re sleeping. They do that a lot when they’re not fighting.”

When you finally get into the game and entire the code, you spawn in. You also quickly join the Discord chat and wince when nearly ten voices hit you at once.

“y/n!” exclaims Lizzie and the other voices die down for a moment before rising to greet you.

You wince again but laugh. “Jesus, you guys are loud. Hey, Lizzie.” You move your character to the customize tab and go to try and switch your color. But then you frown and realize that you’re stuck with being dark blue. “Damn, I wanted to be white.”

“Do you want to switch?” Corpse asks.

Your eyes widen you your stomach flips. You hadn’t noticed Corpse was in this game. Immediately, your chat became flooded with keyboard smashing and lots of “omg my shipp” and “y/n rlly said ‘anna oop-’”

“Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind,” you manage to stutter out and take a bite of pizza as Corpse’s player comes over and the white option becomes available. You select it and also select the goggles in the hats menu.

“How’s your stream going?” asks Sean.

You shrug. “Pretty good. I’m super tired, though. I literally almost fell asleep while playing Monopoly with Mark, Wade, and Bob.”

“You went to college, right?” You’re pretty sure that’s Roomie.

“Yep,” you affirm with a nod even though they can’t see you. “You’d think that those all-nighters writing papers and studying for finals would make me able to do this.”

There’s a laugh in the group and the round starts.

3 rounds before the incident

You scratch your eyebrow and sigh in relief when you’re the crewmate. You mute yourself and slide up in your chair.

“I like being the crewmate,” you say, heading towards admin as a habit. “It’s a lot less stressful than being imposter.”

After doing your tasks in admin and fueling the engines, you stumble across a dead body in the lower engine and a vent closing.

“Oh,” you say, and press the report button. You unmute yourself and begin with, “So I saw a vent close but I didn’t see who went in.”

“Who died?” asks Lizzie.

“Felix,” says Sean.

You smirk. “It’s always yellow that dies first.”

“Where was the body?” Ken asks.

“Lower engine,” you reply.

“I was in medbay with Corpse doing the scan so it wasn’t him,” PJ says and Corpse makes a noise of confirmation.

This makes your cheeks heat up and you smack a hand over your mouth. Your chat explodes again but you decide to ignore it.

“And I was doing wires in cafeteria,” Lizzie says.

“Sean, where were you?”

“I was in reactor doing the simon says thing,” he answers.

You sigh. “I hate that one. What about you, Ken?”

“I was with Roomie in electrical doing the power thing. You know, the one where you have to divert it somewhere else.”

“So do we skip then?” asks Lizzie.

“No one is super sus, so I’m going to skip,” you answer.

When no one is ejected, you mute yourself again. “I dunno why, but Sean seems pretty sus. Because I didn’t see him on the way down from upper engine. But I guess he could have gotten there in time.” You shrug and run over to the trash chute in the cafeteria. “RIP to Felix, though.”

After doing the trash there, you head down to storage, running into Corpse doing the wires in there. You wait there to clear him and once you do, you run a few circles around him to get his attention and he follows you over to the trash in storage and watches you do that. After that, the two of you head over to electric together and do wires there.

Suddenly, there’s a body reported and you unmute yourself.

“Sean just killed Lizzie in front of me!” exclaims PJ.

“PJ killed Lizzie,” Sean retorts, flipping the blame. “I watched it, he didn’t realize I was there and murdered her.”

“I watched PJ do the scan in medbay, he’s cleared,” Corpse says and you find yourself smiling for no reason. “Sean, you killed Lizzie.”

“I knew he was sus,” you say, grabbing another piece of pizza. You look at the box and your eyes widen. Had you really already eaten half of it?

“Wait wait, how am I sus?” Sean asks.

You take a moment to swallow. “Because when I was doing fuel earlier, I was running down from upper engine and didn’t see you in reactor. Sure, maybe you could have gotten there earlier, but it was super weird.”

The discussion time ends and PJ immediately goes to vote for Sean as well as you, Corpse, and everyone else still alive. Sean ends up getting ejected.

stinky was an imposter

1 imposter remains

“You’re such a detective, y/n,” Sean says when he gets ejected.

You laugh. “I just play this game too much.” You then mute yourself and smile. “I am a genius.”

You end up finishing your tasks quickly after that and then stand in the cafeteria and eat another piece of pizza and read some of the chat.

“’ What am I going to do after this?’ I don’t know. I might play some Minecraft. Should I have a poll on Twitter? I’m stuck between public Among Us games, Minecraft, and taking random quizzes on Buzzfeed.” You smile and hear another sound effect and something pops up on the screen. “Thank you to coochie man for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot.” You laugh at their name. “I love your name, by the way.”

There’s some rattling in the cage behind you and you turn around to see one of your rats drinking water. You turn back to the chat and read another comment. “’ Do you have a crush on Corpse?’” You blush and smile, biting your lip. “I mean, his voice is hot. I’ve never met him since he lives in San Diego and I live in h/t, but yeah, I guess I do. I’ve been listening to his music for the past few days and it’s really good, you guys should go check it out.”

You look up and unmute yourself when a body is reported. “Who died?” you ask. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Are you already done with your tasks, y/n?” Corpse asks.

God, even the way he says your name is making you blush. “Yeah, I get them done quick.”

“She does that,” says Lizzie, “She always gets her tasks done quick.”

“Ken is dead by the way,” says Roomie and your snort, smacking a hand over your mouth. “I found him in the hallway by navigation. Where was everyone else?”

“I was in cafeteria doing nothing,” you say, leaning back in your chair and spinning around just a little. “I think I saw PJ downloading while I was in there, but I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yeah, I was downloading,” says Ken.

After more discussion, Corpse points out that Jaiden had been following him and it looked like she had been faking tasks.

“No I haven’t,” she says.

“That sounds like something the imposter would say,” you hum with a smirk. “That’s pretty sus, Jaiden.”

Everyone else agrees and you all end up voting Jaiden out.

jaiden was the imposter

0 imposters remain

You cheer as the round ends and a blue victory screen pops up for the crewmates. “Good game, guys,” you say and play again, waiting for the host.

1 round before the incident

“Oh my god, I’m imposter again?” you groan and sigh when you spawn back in. “I was just imposter, I don’t want to be it again. I’m so bad at it,”

After another short round of you and Felix losing to the crewmates, you all agreed to play two more rounds before Sean had to leave. So you move your character to admin where PJ is and fake the card swipe before moving over to the admin security thing where you could see who was around where. Luckily, no one appeared to be near admin, so you quickly kill PJ and escape through the vent and come out through medbay.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whisper over and over, running down to storage. “That was clean.” You fake getting fuel and go back up to the upper engine.

When PJ’s body is reported, you see that your fellow imposter, Sean, had reported it. You stay silent for most of the round and only say that you were in the fuel area when it was reported.

“Yeah, I saw her run past electrical earlier,” Corpse says. You blush and glance at your exploding chat and shake your head.

After everyone skips the round, you mute yourself once more and head towards navigation. “I hate this.” You drag the last syllable and watch Lizzie enter the room. You wait a moment before walking towards her and killing her, jumping into one of the vents. You let out a sigh and flex your fingers. “I’m so stressed.” You exit out of the vent into shields and your heart stops when you see someone else in there but you realize that it’s the other imposter, Sean, and you relax.

You run past him and go to the trash compartments and pretend to unload those. And that’s how the rest of the round goes. You kill someone, someone reports it and you vote someone off. Eventually, you and Sean do a double kill and end up winning the round.

You unmute yourself.

“Let’s go!” Sean exclaims and you smile.

“I can’t believe you killed me, y/n!” shouts Lizzie. “I thought we were friends.”

You laugh. “There are no friends in this game. I’m not loyal to anyone in this game. You could be my best friend and I would fucking murder you.”

“That’s cold,” says Roomie as everyone else spawns back in.

“Yeah,” you nod.

“Wait, PJ disconnected,” says Sean, and you all end up waiting for him to rejoin.

In that time, you look at your chat and say, “Hey, do you guys have any questions for who I’m playing with. I’m asking you, chat.”

“I swear if someone asks about my hands, I’m leaving,” Corpse says and everyone laughs.

You laugh louder when you read a comment and read it aloud, “_Ironlady _says that you should be a hand model, Corpse.”

“Okay, I’m leaving,” you hear Corpse say over everyone laughing.

“No, stay!” you exclaim, trying not to laugh. “C’mon, don’t leave.”

He sighs deeply and your brain goes fuzzy. “Fine. I’ll stay for you.”

You beam and your tummy turns. You ignore the whistles and remarks from everyone else and stand beside Corpse. You suddenly wish that the little bean characters could hold hands.

When PJ joins the server again, Ken starts the round and you cross your fingers, hoping to get crewmate.

0 rounds before the incident

You mute yourself and sigh when you’re a crewmate. “Thank god.” You let out a breath and go over to admin with everyone else. You swipe your card and go to the cafeteria to do some wires there.

The game turns out to be rather uneventful. A few people die and two people are voted off before the game gets truly interesting. And that happens when you walk in on Corpse and Felix.

“I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days,” you’re saying, walking from electrical over to O2. “And I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe singing it will help.” You hum the first part. “Don't go in there, you'll become one. Freaky creatures, monster party. Eyes of yellow, scales and feathers, tails in tethers. Turn the lights off. Bend the nightmare, you control it. Artful dodger, easy does it. Shut the closet, get under the covers. Snakes and lovers. Turn the lights off.” You do a little dance for a moment and continue hum the song, glancing at the chat as you go towards O2 after doing wires in storage.

“Like, I know the song, it’s just been stuck in my head,” you explain. “And it kind of annoys me--”

But you stop as you enter O2 and watch Corpse murder Felix. Neither one of you move and you don’t know what to do. “Uhhh.”

Then, without thinking, you turn straight around and make your way away from the scene of the murder. “I didn’t see anything!” you shout to no one. “I suddenly can’t see who murdered Felix.” You smack a hand over your mouth and stand in the middle of a hallway. “Oh my god, what do I do? I don’t want to snitch on Corpse, he’s hot.” You scratch the back of your neck and shrug, continuing on to reactor. “I didn’t see anything.”

You’re in the middle of doing the simon says in reactor when Felix’s body is reported. You unmute yourself and fidget with the sleeve of your hoodie. You know exactly who killed Felix.

“--was in O2,” says Jaiden and you focus back into the conversation. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”

“I saw you heading that way, y/n, but I know it wasn’t you because I saw you do the trash in storage.”

You look at the screen when Sean talks to you and you chew your lip. “I know who killed Felix.”

“Who?” asks almost everyone at the same time.

You close your eyes and swallow. It’s just a game, why are you taking this so seriously? Suddenly, a song lyric pops into your head and your stomach flips. You imagine yourself saying it and no one knows who you mean except for him.

You open your eyes. “I’d never snitch on daddy.”

There’s a laugh in the chat and you blush fiercely, your livestream chat blowing up once again.

“I think we know who it is, then,” says Sean, laughing.

“Yeah,” agrees Lizzie and your eyes widen.

“Wait, what?” you ask, watching everyone vote almost as soon as the discussion time ends. “Wait, hang on, who--”

“We know who you’re talking about, y/n,” PJ tells you.

You vote for yourself and your brain goes blank as you see that everyone voted for Corpse. He even voted for himself. They knew. They all _knew _about your feelings for Corpse.

The round ends with Corpse being voted out and the crewmates win. There’s some talking, but you stay on the victory screen. You’re trying to decide if your mad or embarrassed or both.

“I didn’t know you’d say that, y/n,” Corpse says, effectively breaking you out of your trance. “I thought you were gonna snitch on me.”

“You heard her,” teases Lizzie and you can tell she’s grinning. “She’d never snitch on you, Corpse.”

He laughs and you feel something in a certain place. “Oh my god, I’m gonna die of embarrassment.” You put your face in your hands, listening to your friends tease you in the chat. You suddenly want to jump out your window and run into traffic.

“Don’t die,” comes Corpse’s voice through the onslaught of teasing. “I’ll be sad.”

“Fuck!” you shout and slam your hand on your desk, shaking your equipment and scaring your rats. “I’m so sorry, Corpse, that was really weird, I--”

“Stop.” He interrupts you and the chat goes silent and you look up at the screen even though you can’t see him. “It’s okay. It was funny.”

Your eyes widen and then narrow. Funny? He thought what you said was funny? How could he think it was funny?

But then he speaks again and he sounds oddly flustered. “Uh, I gotta go. Um, it was fun playing with you guys. Bye, y/n.”

“Bye Cor--” but then he disconnects and you’re left talking to no one. “--pse.”

There’s a long moment of silence until Felix breaks it. “I can’t believe you just watched me die and didn’t do anything about it.”

There are some laughs and you smile faintly, rejoining the game. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that.”

“Are you okay, y/n?” asks Lizzie.

You blush and swallow. “I don’t know. God, I’m so weird.” You run a hand through your hair and adjust your headphones

“No, you’re not,” Roomie assures you. “He has a crush on you, too.”

Your eyes widen and you scoot up in your chair. “He does?”

“I mean, he called you pretty once during a game and said that he watches your videos a lot, so maybe.”

You groan and sink in your chair. “I’m gonna go, I need to run into traffic now.”

A few people laugh or chuckle and Lizzie asks you if you’re actually going to leave.

“Yeah,” you tell her. “But not to run into traffic. I’m going to go play Minecraft to soothe myself.”

“Aw.” You can practically hear her frown. “Okay. Bye, y/n.”

“Good luck with your stream,” Ken tells you.

You grin. “Okay, thanks, bye.”

When you exit the game and leave the chat, you scream. You actually scream and it’s loud. Your roommate even knocks on your door, asking if you’re okay.

You look at them and nod. “Yeah, totally fine. Probably about to have a mental breakdown, but I’m fine.”

“Okay,” they say and lean on the doorframe. “But I’m not cutting bangs for you again.”

You laugh and nod. “Yeah, okay, fine.” They leave and you turn back to your stream, feeling like you’re about to cry. Corpse knows you have a crush on him. And it seems like he has one on you as well, but now you’re embarrassed because you called him ‘daddy’ on stream.

You rub your eyes. “Well, now I know what’ll be streaming on Twitter tonight,” you tell the chat.

#corpse_husband #corpse husband #x reader #female reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse_husband x reader #jacksepticeye #among us #ldshadowlady #pewdiepie #fanfic

5K notes · View notes

notanotherinfjblog · 3 years ago

Text

The types as strangers I wish I had known (version 4)

Previous versions: One, two, three

INTJ: She was the first person to show me kindness in a new place. Moving across the country all alone in the middle of a pandemic is not exactly the ideal start of your first real job. So she took it all on herself to take me by the hand, to organise all the things that I had no clue about. She gave me a little tour around the workplace, recommended me places to eat once the pandemic is over, asked me about how I was settling in, remembered little things I mentioned. She was the only person not working from home when I first arrived and so it was just the two of us. She was quiet and reserved as most people here seem to be, and she was awkward in every way when interacting with me. But she tried so hard and maybe it’s just me projecting, but she said her son was in the very same situation as me right now, and it felt like she tried to help me in the way she couldn’t help her son, like she wanted to take me under her wing, but not make it awkward, and then actually making it slightly awkward in doing so. Her heart just felt warm and so did mine when I said thank you.

ENTJ: Everyone knows the classic character of a self-righteous doctor in a hospital show. You know that one. The one that everyone thinks may be hard-working and clever, but heartless and uncaring and egocentric, but a few episodes down the line you start to see that there is more going on underneath the rude attitude. I’ve always believed this to be a stereotypical depiction that is more of a caricature until I met her. She was a doctor at a hospital I stayed in, and damn, she was just like that. She stormed into the rooms, rolled her eyes at a patient whose German was bad, even though she had a thick accent herself, couldn’t be bothered to commit to polite standards of communication like saying hello or thanks, and she didn’t care to wait for just a second when a nurse was in her way and pushed her aside instead. Especially two young nurses were exasperated with her and complained about her as soon as she stormed out of the room. They really made me feel like I had gotten myself into a hospital show as a patient, it was fantastic. And I have to say, even though this young doctor had all of these flaws, she was the only one that actually talked to the patients and explained what was going on, hell she even talked to that woman’s daughter on the phone for a few minutes because the woman didn’t understand the language. Just like on tv, she may have been rude, but at least she seemed like a good doctor.

INTP: My university department held a conference and I was responsible for making sure that all these professors and PhD students didn’t die from their coffee cravings, so I spent most of my time running around with giant coffee cans. And I have to admit, among all the scientists that were roaming the halls, I couldn’t help but stare at him. He was a PhD student from the Netherlands and there was just something about him that did not fit in. You know how professors are often a bit eccentric or strange by normal standards (which explains why we had to explain to an unspeakable amount of them how a coffee can works), so you’d imagine he’d fit right in. But he didn’t. He was his own universe. While everyone was networking, he was studying the research posters in silence. Not because he was too shy, he seemed very comfortable in his own skin. He just didn’t seem to care all that much about other people. I got to listen to a few talks and as he sat in front of me, I saw him play a video game. At an international conference. With professors and colleagues sitting behind him. And he still managed to ask intelligent questions about the talk afterwards. No idea how. Part of me wished I could have talked to him, not because he was cute though he was, but rather because I really could not tell you what kind of person he was. Was he a good person? A bad one? Probably something in-between. But I don’t think my opinion would have fazed him all that much, since to me, he seemed like the kind of person that valued his own opinion on himself the most, and I think that’s a good thing that he’s got there.

ENTP: I had just moved to a different city in a completely different part of the country, and I had just gotten back from my first walk around town. Sounds exciting, but I got back to this unfamiliar flat that I was supposed to call home now and I was panicking. So I stepped out on the balcony hoping the cold air and the stars above could calm my nerves. But it wasn‘t them that did. I stood there in the dark and saw an elderly couple in the parking lot. The woman was in a very similar mental state as me. She was running around their car and was talking about all the things they still had to take care of and things they‘d need, but had forgotten, and her voice got higher and shakier with every word. And then her husband just went and hugged her. She kissed him goodbye three times and every time she did, he let out a little laugh, calm and gentle. He pat her on the back and said that everything was going to be okay, that they would see each other again tomorrow. She kissed him goodbye one last time before she drove away, and I stood there alone in the dark and thanked the universe that I was there at the right time to hear this old man‘s words. For some reason he always seems to appear every time I‘m feeling low and strikes up a little chat with me. And every time he leaves, I have already forgotten what I was sad about.

INFJ: I think everyone pursuing an academic career has this one hero, this one scientist that lit the spark in their heart to dedicate their life to science just like them. I know I have one. So when I started an internship at his lab with one of his colleagues, I didn‘t really expect to meet him. I had seen him around once in a while, yes, but who was I to approach a stranger to tell him what his work meant to me? But then came the plenary meeting that was meant to get more people of the lab to get to know one another - and he approached me. He sat down next to me, asked me about my academic past and future, asked about my current project with his colleague. And I still can‘t believe it. Only a little girl singing in the church choir who is suddenly approached by Beyoncé can hope to imagine what it felt like. He was an internationally renowned scientist, he would have had every reason to look down on the rest of us. Many of them certainly do. But here he was, talking to a little intern from abroad. He was such a genuinely nice person, was sweet and slightly awkward, he even mirrored my weird head nodding that I always do when all the words have left me. He felt like a kindred spirit. I didn‘t tell him what these few minutes talking to him meant to me though part of me wishes that I did, yet still he invited me to the meetings of his research team even though I was not a part of it. And when I came and sat down, he turned around, smiled at me and turned away again, and I can‘t tell you how insane it feels that all of this actually happened.

ENFJ: I’ve written about him before and I will write about him forever. I remember the day our eyes first met in that crowded school corridor almost half of my life ago. I don’t know why neither of us could look away that day, why neither of us could ever look away again from this day on. Somehow our eyes always found each other. I remember the snowy day at the train station so many years later, how he stood there alone in the cold and how he slowly walked towards me, his eyes glued to his feet that abruptly stopped right next to mine. And yet he stayed silent. As did I. So we stood there for an hour waiting for our train, quickly averting our eyes every time they came close to meeting. I remember him looking back at me over his shoulder once we got off the train. He seemed quite flustered that I was about to find out that he had parked his car right next to mine and so he fled. Both of us kept parking our cars next to each other, even when we didn’t see each other for months. But I could never follow him out. He was my own personal mystery. I spent countless nights staring at the ceiling wondering what it was, this strange thing that was going on between us, this little secret that we shared, and I wondered who he really was inside, not who he pretended to be in front of his friends. He was like an island in their midst, always a bit detached, always tucked away behind a smile. Soon twelve years will have passed and still we’ve never spoken a word, but somehow these dark brown eyes still feel more familiar than my own, these eyes that always seemed to look right into my soul. I could have stared at them my whole life. I honestly have no idea what it is that is tying me to him, what it is that I felt back then and what I’m feeling right now. Maybe I’ll never know. I haven’t seen him in three years, but I know our paths will cross again some day. I can feel it in my bones. This story is not over yet. Maybe then we’ll finally be ready to meet properly. Maybe then we’ll finally be able to speak.

INFP: I happened to stand at the window when I saw the new postman approach our letterbox, and so I watched him throw letters and magazines inside - and stop. He moved his head closer to the box and a frown appeared on his face. He backed off, wanted to leave, came back again and didn’t seem to know what he was supposed to do. So he rang the doorbell. As I opened the door, there he was, shy and with slight panic in his eyes. “I’m so sorry”, he said. “There is a sign on your letterbox that you don’t want advertisements, but I saw that too late and I had already thrown it in. I’m terribly sorry. I can’t get it out of the box and so I thought, I should ask if that’s alright.” And my heart just went awwww, that’s adorable. I smiled at him and told him that it was absolutely fine. He seemed so relieved. So he went away and I closed the door.

ENFP: This is for the man with the kind, but heartbreakingly sad eyes who sometimes sits in front of the train station silently begging for money. This is for the grandparents who spent their train ride trying to teach their little grandchildren the numbers from one to five. This is for the old woman who always kneels down in the middle of the train station with her forehead pressed to the ground, keeping still for hours, enduring the devastation of thousands of people passing by without stopping. This is for the woman who knelt down next to a homeless man, who took his hand and asked how she could help him. This is for the man who made faces at the little boy sitting next to him on the train to make him laugh. This is for the anger I felt when I saw the distraught face of a 10-year-old boy coming out of the movie „1917“ at the cinema with his father. This is for the happy little puppy who lives next to the bakery where I usually grab my lunch. This is for the twenty people who decided to all speak a foreign language during a meeting with each other just because I was there too, a total stranger they had never even seen before who is bad at their native language. This is for the creep that asked me in the middle of the street at night to accompany him. This is for the two teenagers who went to buy sandwiches and coffee for a homeless woman. This is for the families I often see sitting at the train stations, sometimes with a baby in their arms, holding a sign saying „Syrian family. We are hungry, help us please.“ This is for the man who yelled at his girlfriend because she gave them some money. This is for the people who play music during everyone‘s morning commute on the train. This is for all the people who approached me speaking in French and started to laugh when I apologised for not being very good at it. This is for Paris, in all its beauty and all its ugliness. This is for humanity, in all its beauty and ugliness.

ISTJ: He was sitting alone on the train, looking out of the window while listening to something with headphones. He was a tall guy in his mid-20s, one with a full beard, long brown hair in a neat ponytail, and a t-shirt of some rock band that I had never heard of. So, I was sitting there, three meters away, minding my own business, when I suddenly heard a giggle. The entire car of the train had been quiet all this time as it usually is, so I looked up and saw this guy trying to contain his laughter. He pressed the lips together, scratched his nose in order to inconspicuously cover his mouth. I don’t know where this sudden burst of laughter came from. Maybe he was listening to an audio book and reached a funny part. Maybe he was listening to a voice message of a funny friend. Maybe he just had a very amusing thought, I don’t know. But I’ve always had a soft spot for people who randomly start laughing in public and get embarrassed about it cause it’s always, always adorable.

ESTJ: She was a PhD student at my university and she was the one who mainly organised the conference that the above mentioned INTP was attending, too. And even though she didn‘t get tired of complaining about how much work this all was, how typical it was of her boss to volunteer to hold the conference at our university and then not lifting a single finger, she was like a fish in the water, not out of it. She observed everything and everyone, immediately recognised little problems or things that could become a problem, she was constantly running around checking everything, and she kept so many things in mind, it was impressive. One of the attendees sat in a wheelchair and as soon as she noticed, she made us rebuild the entire cafeteria immediately so that everything was reachable for her. And in all the running around, all the obligatory smalltalk, all the stress, she still found the time to stand with us student helpers and joke around.

ISFJ: It was 6pm on a Friday afternoon when all of Paris was trying to get home in the middle of a train strike, so the trains that did run were even more crowded than usual. I did not enjoy sharing 5 square metres with almost 40 other people. But then he entered the train and stood right next to me, leaning against the doors without moving, looking like an intellectual in gangster clothes. We were surrounded by noise of people talking and of rails screaming, by strangers breathing onto our skin, and he just stood there unfazed by it all. He radiated calmness like I‘ve never seen anyone do before. Soon it reached me too, filled me up and left no place for any distress or anxiety. He was like an island in the storm that grew and grew and grew until all of the 40 people around him were safe. I felt safe. I don‘t think he has even the faintest clue about how special he is, but I feel like it has been a privilege to have crossed paths with him.

ESFJ: Did you ever meet someone who, on first glance, looks like the perfect example of a jock, just a short guy with bigger arms than he’s tall? But then you look again, take a closer look at him and you realise that his face has goodness written all over it. He may be horribly bad at grammar for a linguistics student and he may be a bit too sensitive for his own good, but he never made it a secret of how much of a sweetheart he really is. And in situations like these, when he talks about how emotional he got as a tutor when his student told him about a dying grandfather because he felt responsible for the student’s wellbeing, in situations like these, when he approaches my friend after a class to apologise for his harsh criticism of her presentation and to tell her that he didn’t mean it that way, to which she gets all confused because she didn’t take the slightest offence to anything he has ever said in his entire life and he mumbles that he may have to stop beating himself up about stuff like this, I just want to give him a hug and never let go.

ISTP: I saw her on the metro during rush hour in Paris, and I immediately noticed her to be different. Everyone else always only stares at their phones or into space, everyone else always look like a tired zombie. She was not a zombie. She was leaning against the doors, shaking her leg in the rhythm of the music she was listening to. She was short and skinny, and not even her punk boots could hide that, but there was such a confidence shining out of her, a confidence in who she was that made her look like a giant. She looked like she‘s probably had it rather rough in life, but it didn‘t break her. She rose to the adversity, rose in spite of it all. She seemed to be capable of so many things. Intelligent enough to go into science if she ever wanted to, vicious enough to end someone who ever dared to cross her, warm enough to love deeply and with all her heart if she let it.

ESTP: It was a hot day and far hotter than a September afternoon ever should be. I was stuck in a traffic jam in the city, melting in my car as were so many others, waiting for that red light to finally turn green. And then he came, a young guy in an ugly shirt and with a hat on his head. He started to cross the street, but then stopped right there in the middle. And he started to juggle. In the middle of a traffic jam on a Friday afternoon, he juggled. Just before his green light turned to red, he bowed down to the cars a few times, and then jumped to the sidewalk and left. Thanks, mate, you enigmatic juggling traffic hero.

ISFP: I met him at a wedding. He was a bald man in his 70s with thick horn glasses and probably the most intimidating person I’ve ever met. Not because he was mean, but because he was so confident in himself and so observant. His gaze constantly changed direction. He took everything in that happened around him, he didn’t miss a single thing that was going on, and still he was calm and sure of himself that everyone at our table felt like they had to impress him in some way. Just by looking at him you knew he must have lived an extraordinary life and he really did. He liked talking about himself. He talked about living in the American desert, on a mediterranean island, in a Buddhist monastery, and on a cruise ship. He talked about the smell of the desert at night, about the taste of oranges picked from a tree. He talked about the people he met, about professors and musicians, about cooks and monks. He talked about how much his village loved him. But he also liked listening to others talk about their own lives. It was obvious that he treated life as an experience, as a journey that cannot be planned or imagined, only lived. When we said goodbye, he looked me right in the eye and told me that he thinks it’s great what I’m doing with my life and that he’s looking forward to meeting me again some day. It felt a bit like receiving praise from a deity.

ESFP: He was a nurse in the accident and emergency department at the hospital and the first person to talk to me while I was waiting in front of an examination room. He was only passing by with a colleague, but he stopped the conversation when he saw me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Aw, sugarmouse, what happened to you?”, was the first thing he said to me. You know, if an unknown man in his 50s is coming towards you and calls you “sugarmouse”, you’re usually not exactly happy, but he was just an overwhelmingly non-threatening guy that called all of the nurses and doctors by kitschy nicknames and radiated warmth wherever he went. He had noticed that I was nervous, and so he came to me and tried to gently put my mind at ease and I was really grateful for it.

#writing this took 3 years #nothing happens during a pandemic but all the more important this kind of testimony to these people feels to me #esfj has actually become a friend of mine by now #isfp is part of my family now since it was his brother's and my mother's wedding #and the enfj guy is the same as in the first version of this post that i wrote 5 years ago #i don't know where he is now or what he's doing but i really hope that his life is filled with love and happiness #i just think it's strange that after graduating i never saw 98% of the people i went to school with again #but the two people i did meet again dozens of times? were enfj and his little brother #sometimes it felt like a conspiracy of the universe and we were just too stupid #every time i think about how we had eye contact while driving past each other twice i think i‘m going insane #mbti #myers-briggs #types as #strangers i wish i had known #intj #entj #intp #entp #infj #enfj #infp #enfp #istj #estj #isfj #esfj #istp #estp #isfp #esfp

194 notes · View notes

engagemachine · 3 years ago

Text

"You're so gentle," she tells me. They all say it. I hear it from my patients every time I take their arm to wrap the blood pressure cuff around it, or when I place my stethoscope on their belly, or when I rub circles into their back when I've helped them sit up on the side of the bed for the first time in three days. Sometimes they cry, because it's the first tender touch they've felt since they've been in the hospital. It's very humbling and at the same time very concerning -- why has no one else offered this tenderness to you? Why am I always the first?

But I don't feel gentle. Not when a pair of ribs are cracking beneath my hands as I'm doing chest compressions on a Covid patient who's stopped breathing--the second time I've administered CPR on a Covid patient in two days. I don't feel gentle when I'm wrestling with a patient and begging for them to keep their oxygen mask on. When I have to hold them down and hold them still so my coworker can draw a blood sample. I don't feel gentle when I'm inserting a nasogastric tube down someone's nose, then throat, and into their belly while they're gagging around the tube and their arms are flailing. And I don't feel gentle when I'm washing a sacral wound with bleach and they're crying because it hurts. I don't feel gentle when I have to shout, beg, and plead for patients to listen, when I tell patients they're going to die if they don't keep their oxygen mask on. I don't feel gentle when I have to place a patient in restraints, or when I call a family member and tell them that their loved one's condition hasn't improved. I don't feel gentle when a patient tells me they can't breathe, they can't breathe, I can't breathe, and I'm yelling for coworkers to call the doctor while I'm cycling through different oxygen masks and trying to administer medication to slow their respirations and calm their anxiety.

I'm writing this because I feel like I've been living a little bit behind a veneer on here, although I know deep down that's not really true; I have always wanted my blog to feel like a positive space for anyone and everyone, including myself. I come here to have fun and destress and that's why you usually don't see me reblogging content having to do with politics or global news. I think it's possible to create a healthy space where one does talk about those things and spreads awareness for important causes, but for me, Tumblr is where I come when I need to escape the harsh realities of real life. This is my platform where I can indulge in my fictional proclivities and interests, where I can appreciate art, photography, beautiful writing, my favorite films, music, and cute animals. That's what this space is about. I also have loved meeting new people and getting to know my readers and making new friends and chatting about my stories. That's why I'm here and I thank you all so, so much for indulging me in my passions and for encouraging my writing the way that you have: it has helped me weather the current storm of stress I am feeling in more ways than I could possibly convey.

But I have to be very honest with you all about how much I've been struggling lately, as I feel like I'm reaching a breaking point and I'm somewhat at a loss for how to handle it.

Since September of last year, I've been on an accelerated track to finish the degree I'm working towards, which is a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I've been a nurse for four years, but I graduated from a two-year nursing program versus a four-year program because I wanted to get into the field earlier than some of my peers, which has been great. Anyway, my school counselor/mentor and I agreed that I could obtain my BSN in a year if I really pushed myself. The program I'm in is self-paced, which has been both a blessing and a curse. Most of my classes I have finished in about three to four weeks. Other classes, like biochemistry, took substantially longer, about seven or eight weeks, if I remember correctly. All of the classes have relied on my ability to self-teach, as there are no scheduled lectures to attend, only assigned readings and videos to watch, if you choose to do so. Fast forward to the end of May, when I went to visit some family, and, upon my return home, really started to lose some of my motivation to complete my classes. I was meant to finish my program in August (this month) but agreed with my mentor that I would take a short break and put my last three classes on hold so that I could resume the program in September. I've enjoyed approximately a month off from school, but "enjoyed" is a term I use loosely here as I was also picking up extra shifts at work because we've been so short staffed and losing nurses left and right.

Which brings me to the main cause of my stress. This pandemic has completely changed the landscape for how I administer care to my patients, and the stress of the care itself has been so utterly overwhelming at times I can hardly bear it. I broke down in tears at work on Sunday morning, shortly after 4:30 am, right there at the the nurse's station, and was sobbing so hard that my supervisor had to pull me away so that I could have some privacy. I wish I could tell you that I sobbed harder than I have in a long time--but I had sobbed at work with that same intensity just four weeks prior, only, I had been alone at the time. It's becoming a trend--I either cry at work or I cry at home--because the stress of this job has become unbearable.

I wish--I desperately wish--I could convey to you the seriousness of Covid. I think so much of the world has already decided to move on from it because they're so tired of having to deal with it and, quite simply, are ready to return to normal. I don't even know what normal is anymore and when--or if--we'll ever be able to return to it. And that has caused me a fair amount of stress and anxiety in and of itself. I miss traveling so much and I don't know when I'll be able to do it again. I haven't seen one of my best friends since the fall of 2018 for this reason, which kills me.

I've seen so much death. Transferred so many patients to the PCU and ICU. Frantically chased patients' oxygen saturation, trying to keep them from circling the drain. Being responsible for six or seven human lives at one time is a stress you cannot fathom unless you have done it yourself. I have cried with a patient, a young woman, who had lost her husband to Covid only hours before in the ER, a young woman who was now faced with battling Covid herself but also planning the funeral of her high school sweetheart from her hospital bed. I have wheeled a patient to the ICU so that he could say one final goodbye to his wife--married for over 50 years--before they pulled the plug and removed her from the ventilator. I have raced down the hallway with my patient on BIPAP, pushing his bed to the ICU and praying that he doesn't stop breathing on the way there. I've had to console crying family members over the phone who are worried about their loved ones, not to mention my crying coworkers who are as overwhelmed as I am. These are just a handful of experiences from the past month alone. There are so many more.

The discomfort of my job has become secondary. I expect, now, to be wearing an N95 for a full twelve or thirteen-hour shift because there isn't time to take it off. Not having a chance to pee or go to the bathroom during that time. Not drinking any water until I'm in my car and taking off my mask and finally taking a deep breath.

On a more personal note, I am continuing to lose weight and it's so discouraging. In high school I used to wear a size 2 or 4. Now, depending on the brand, I wear a double 00. My hair is falling out because of my stress. I haven't slept during the night in... I don't even know how long. I'm constantly tired. Exhaustion hits me like a great tidal wave and I am powerless to stop it. I expect now to crash during the middle of the day on my couch, only to wake up at 11pm and be wide awake for the rest of the night, and, if not wide awake, then in an out of nightmares and sleep paralysis. I have thought about leaving my job, but the idea of job hunting during a pandemic, and while I'm in school... it just makes me feel even more stressed.

I need a break, but it feels like there's nowhere to go to escape. I fantasize about some great adventure, going somewhere I've never been, but I also really miss my family and I'm scared to go home to visit.

This post doesn't really have a conclusive ending. I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed. Any prayers/thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

#text

41 notes · View notes

whitehotharlots · 4 years ago

Text

Anything changed yet?

The "2020 UGGGHH" discourse is insufferable. It boggles my mind that so many people think an arbitrary temporal distinction is the cause of our nation's collapse. They believe, in all earnestness, that 2021 is going to be better simply by virtue of it being different.

There's a very good chance--better than 50/50--that 2020 is going to be the best of our remaining years, that every year and month and day from now until the sun explodes is going to be progressively worse than the one that preceded it.

I had a sad, drunk epiphany last night about neoliberal management strategies during our collapse. The general consensus is that people like Mitch McConnell and Larry Summers are evil and stupid. But what if they're actually evil and competent? They know that mass displacement is coming, probably very soon, and they intentionally want to immiserate most people beforehand so that we won't have the resources or will to mount any consequential protest as the cities start to flood and burn and trains start herding us into camps.

You might have heard of The Great Reset. Like all other reflections of our horrific future, the political media recently began referring to it as a "conspiracy theory." Indeed, it has been badly misunderstood by paranoid right wingers. But it's real. There was a Davos conference that was literally called "The Great Reset." Transcripts and videos of conference proceedings can be found with a 10 second Google search. These people put their ideology out in the open for everyone to digest, and now simply re-posting the things they said on record makes you a conspiracy theorist.

These types of Rich People Gatherings--Davos, the Aspen Ideas Festival, etc--should not be regarded as a meeting of soothsayers. They're not even really prognosticators. They are, instead, the collected mewlings of the modern clarisy. Their declarations are meant to placate the hyper elite, convince them that their destructive behaviors are moral and the current system is totally sustainable even though the ground is clearly caving in beneath their feet.

You can think of the visions set forth at these conferences as sort of what the rich think the best case scenario might be.

The Great Reset's best case scenario is terrifying indeed: one of the very first slides announces that by 2030 upwards of a billion people will be displaced by climate change. We won't eat meat anymore (okay, fine, whatever). Oh, also, our economy will be entirely rentier-based. You don't have any possessions. You rent everything you use. You don't draw a steady paycheck. Everyone is a gig worker. There is no retirement, either; you work until you can't, and then you die.

This is the world both of our wretched political parties want to build. To the people who control our fate, this is idealism.

The weirdest omission is that they all seem to think that the masses are just going to go along with it. India and Pakistan will not exchange nuclear weapons: each side will merely accept that their countries are no longer inhabitable and instead of fighting for water or territory they will simply sit tight and wait for immolation. Eritreans will humbly march themselves into the sea. American homeowners will simply shrug their shoulders and consent to signing all of their earthly possessions over to Citibank in exchange for a weekly allowance of 4 cans of Spam.

Is this naivety, or do they know something we don't? Are they stupid enough to simply believe that no one will fight back, or are they planning some type of mechanisms for the suppression of unrest?

Maybe neither? Because, honestly, I can't see any reform taking place no matter how bad things get. Next year--after Biden eliminates all remaining vestiges of the social safety net and unemployment hits levels never before seen since the dawn of industrialization and the police continue to murder people at will--we could very well see riots that are ten times as destructive as the ones that hit over the past summer.

So what? What will change? The government will act swiftly to ensure that the hyper rich don't suffer a moment of inconvenience. They will give everyone else the choice of either dying quietly or getting mowed down by cops.

Remember the French Yellow Vest riots? Those were morally clear cut: their shitbag neoliberal weasel president eliminated the wealth tax--because omg can you imagine the injustice of a Kardashian only inheriting 80% of their father's money? To pay for this, France instituted a regressive gas tax and incredibly cruel pension cuts. This generated two straight years of violent, disruptive rioting. Macron's approval rating cratered toward near the single-digits.

What was the result? The wealth tax was not reinstated. The gas tax was not rescinded. The government made a minor concession on the pension reforms, cutting payments on average by 40%, instead of the 50% that was initially approved.

This is the efficacy of protest. This is the best us non-elites can to do change the future everyone in charge has very explicitly said they want.

The Democrat adoration for Biden sends a clear message: you get nothing. You will never get anything. You are a bad person for even asking for something.

I’ve mentioned this before, but Endless war, deadly austerity, and environmental destruction simply do not enter the liberal worldview. Anyone who tries bringing them up is a racist sexist bro who cares more about "preventing the oceans from catching fire" when he should be paying attention to something really important, like the newest trans Marvel hero. L-look at this Beefaroni commercial that features a biracial family... you gonna look at that and tell me we're not making progress? You ingrate. You fucking worm. How fucking dare you be upset that we just stole your pension? Your soul is so blighted by privilege you think you just deserve to not go bankrupt to pay for cancer treatment?

That's the thrust of liberalism post-Obama. No solutions, just excuses. We're not going to help anybody. But we will give relatively well off people a means of justifying, in their tiny brains, why it's good when the leaders they adore act like cruel shitheads.

56 notes · View notes

potatoswritingblog · 3 years ago

Text

Tittle:Breaking Free

Show:Haikyuu!!

Pairing:Kuroken

Genre:Angst

TW:Suicide and cheating

Also all characters mentioned are adults.

Before you start reading: this is a rewritten piece of work I wrote about a year and a half ago. I wrote this as a reader insert based on the song "Breaking Free" by Night Riots and the reader was Kenma and Kuroo was supposed to be reader's ex or crush. These are fairly out of character but I tried my hardest to write them. This is my first actual fanfic I wrote. Anyways I hope you enjoy!

You have 4 missed calls from Kuroo

'What the hell does he want? Does he really think I want to talk to him? Well I don't, he could die for all I care.'

Or so Kenma thought. I mean after all Kuroo was Kenma's first love and even his first friend, but he did cheat on him. Why should Kenma care? Kuroo obviously didn't care about him.

Even though Kuroo did cheat on him he still cared about him. He couldn't stop thinking about the cat-eyed male. When Kenma called off the relationship after finding out, he stopped seeing the other person in hope to get you back.

Obviously it wasn't going to work.

Kuroo P.O.V.

I regret cheating on Kenma, I really, really do. I know what I did was wrong and there is no way to get him back, but I can't help but reminisce on the past.

I drive to the top of a cliff once a month just like Kenma and I did.

We went at least once a month to see the sunset. It was stunning, how all the colors would swirl together over the ocean below.

Kenma didn't know why he wanted to go back to Kuroo so badly. He tried to convince himself he didn't want him and that he was just someone from the past.

He thought that there was something wrong with him. Why would you want to go back to the person who shattered your heart into a million pieces?

Kuroo P.O.V.

I've been drinking a lot more recently. It drowns my sorrows of not having Kenma with me.

I've been having violent thoughts recently. Sometimes I want to hurt myself for being such an idiot, other times I want to take it out on others around me.

Kenma checked his phone and like the past few days he had no missed calls from Kuroo.

He didn't understand why it hurt him so much not receiving any calls or messages from his ex.

Kuroo P.O.V.

I've found someone new, they remind me a lot of Kenma, but it still isn't the same. I often catch myself imagining that it really is Kenma next to me, but it never is.

I hope that one day I'll wake up and everything will be just a dream. Kenma lying next to me

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the night I met Kenma. I wouldn't ever dare to think of cheating on him.

Even after I started seeing someone else I still drove to the Kenma cliff and I would visit; however, normally I would drive to the top of the hill before sunset, but tonight I'm not. In fact it is pitch black out right now. I can't see anything except the pain I'm focused on and I want to feel it all.

I thought that maybe finding someone new would help me get over you, but it hasn't done a damn thing.

My vision begins to blur with my tears. I began to drive faster and faster.

I'm already at the top of the cliff, but I continue to drive. Next thing I know I'm driving through the guardrails and right off the cliff, exactly how I wanted it.

I felt the violent waves of the ocean as I crashed down. They'll hold me until I fall asleep. I know that I'm as good as dead now.

I want to be next to him though. All I can think of is him holding me. But it doesn't make me feel better, maybe because I know that he isn't not mine and never will be because I'm an idiot.

Everything that has happened since the end of our relationship reminds me that others can't fix me and nobody can be my savior, not even Kenma.

If I could I would take everything back. I wish I could still be with you Kenma, but I'm not you were just someone I used to see.

I love you Kenma, goodbye

Kenma P.O.V.

(Time skip to next morning)

I was playing my video games when I'd gotten a call from Bokuto. I hadn't talked to him since I broke up with Kuroo since he was more Kuroo's friend than mine. I answered to see what he wanted, hoping it wasn't him on behalf of Kuroo.

"Hey, what do you want Bokuto?"

"Have you seen the news this morning?"

"No, I've been playing video games all day. What is so important that you called me?"

"Kuroo is dead. A person reported seeing a vehicle break through the guardrails on the cliff you and Kuroo always went to. He was already identified."

I hung up the phone in complete shock and despair. I know I said I didn't care if he ended up dead, but I feel a deep pain of sorrow and guilt build up in me.

I stopped playing my game and went to the bathroom and took a bath to try and calm down. It didn't work and I only started to think more and feel more and more guilty. I slowly got up and made my way over to my medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle of pain relievers.

I feel broken maybe I'm just breaking free

Bokuto's P.O.V

Within an hour of Kenma hanging up suddenly, Akaashi and I went over to his house. We knocked on the door but there was no response. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting even though it was probably only a few minutes we decided that we would just have to break in.

Of course Akaashi didn't like this idea but I convinced him that something could be wrong with Kenma.

When we finally got in, due to my amazing strength and big muscles, we didn't see any sign of Kenma. We decided to check his room upstairs but he wasn't there. I noticed that the bathroom door was shut and the lights were on. I knocked on the bathroom door to see if Kenma would respond. There was no response.

I slowly opened the door just in case Kenma was in there and doing something and just didn't hear us. When I had the door fully opened I saw Kenma's body in a full bathtub with a bottle of pills on the edge of the bathtub.

Akaashi, being right behind me, immediately called 911, knowing that he needed medical attention. I didn't know how many pills he took and if he was unconscious or dead. I was frozen in place but Akaashi wasn't. After he told the dispatcher where we were he immediately went to check Kenma's pulse. He was able to find it but it was very weak.

When the ambulance got to Kenma's house he was already dead.

Within two days I had lost two highschool friends. Neither explaining why.

~~~~~~

PLEASE READ!!

If you ever have suicidal thoughts please, please, please talk to someone whether it is me or someone you actually know. Trust me people care. Suicide is never the answer.

I'm here for anyone who needs to talk <3

#kuroken #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo #kozume kenma #kenma #haikyuu!!#kuroken angst #haikyuu angst #character x character

9 notes · View notes

redhawtriot · 5 years ago

Text

Baby Boom (Bakugou x Reader)

Sooo... I think It’s the size of my tag list that was fucking this chapter up so much! Every time I have more than my previous chapter had, this chapter deletes itself from my page/drafts! I’ve contacted Tumblr about it, but don’t cross ur finger’s on that one lol. I am sorry if you weren't able to make the list!

(If you beta read for me you could read the chapters up to an entire day ahead of every else tho! If ur interested in that, just inbox me!)

HnM

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

Month 1, Month 2 , Month 3,

--Month 4--

‘SLAM!’

The front door crashed shut like ammunition through cannon fire. The sharp bang clapped and echoed throughout the small, otherwise quiet living space, and soon, three roommates filed out of their respective rooms. One by one, they inched out to get a glimpse of the oncoming storm: Hurricane Katsuki.

Denki warily removed his gaming headpiece as Bakugou whipped past his bedroom door, “Oh hey, Bakugou! You sure disappeared outta nowhere. We coulda used the backup in squads! Where’d ya go, man!?”

The others listened carefully for the explosive blond’s answer, but got nothing short of an insult in return,

“None of your business, you damn idiots. GO DIE ALREADY!” and with that, Hurricane Katsuki simply slammed the door shut-- somehow even louder than before.

Kaminari, who had gotten the brunt of the explosion, was left wide eyed,

“Woah…”

Sero gave a low whistle as he shook his head at Bakugou’s shut door, “Looks like a wild Teenage Bakugou has entered the chat.”

Denki gave an abrupt, slightly uncomfortable chuckle at the remark, but soon gulped, giving his roommates a concerned gaze, “So… should we…” he trailed off.

Kirishima fervently nodded, stepping fully out into the hallway, “I’ll go check on him, guys.” He flexed before making his way to Bakugou’s room—a nervous habit he had picked up somewhere along the line to reassure himself before he dived headfirst into rough situations.

He looked back to his other two roommates one last time and threw a pleading glance as if to say “Wish me all of the luck” before giving a few slight knocks to the rage-secreting room, “Bakugou,” he called out, “You okay, buddy? I know that there is something up. There’s no point in hiding it…we can talk?”

No answer.

Kirishima gave a long sigh, “Well, when you finally want to talk about it, you know where to find me...”

The other roommates sighed as well before both retreating to their rooms and shutting their doors. Kiri turned to make his way back to his room as well, but only made it a few feet before Bakugou’s door sharply yanked open a few inches.

“Where are those other idiots?” Bakugou’s eyes were redder than their usual vermilion as he glared out from the cracked doorway. Kirishima gave a thick blink in surprise. Had he… had he been crying?

“They back in their rooms?” Bakugou said very lowly. His voice had an extra hint of raspiness weighing it down, Kirishima noticed.

“Y-Yeah.” Eijirou quickly replied, startled by the unseemly sight of his best friend, “They’re prolly back on the game by now.” Bakugou did not say another word as he threw his door open a few more inches and marched deeper into his room to stiffly throw himself on the edge of his bed. Kirishima cautiously followed him-- this was as good of an invitation as any in ‘Bakugou language.’

Bakugou sat, glaring seriously at the floor in front of him, as if it offended him, and his leg bounced nervously. The red head uncomfortably cleared his throat. ‘Holy shit, what the hell is going on…?’ Kirishima had never seen him do that before, “You.. uh.. you wanna talk about it, buddy?”

No answer.

Kirishima waited a few beats before releasing another sigh and shutting the door behind him so that he could make his way to the bed. He sat down next to his best friend and simply sat deep in the silence with him. The two waited for what seemed like hours before someone finally spoke up,

“I got a girl pregnant,” Bakugou said very flatly, still glaring at the floor and bouncing his leg.

Kirshima had to stifle the choke that erupted out of his throat as his own saliva sneaked into his larynx, “Ack! Achkaka!” His natural bodily functions were completely forgotten as his brain tried to compute the sudden and drastic information that was just thrown at him.

Bakugou?? Pregnant? He never thought he would hear the words in the same room, let alone the same sentence! The guy hardly ever did anything but work, work out and come home to play video games. He didn’t converse with people. He didn’t get girls pregnant. Girls didn’t even look at him!

In his coughing fit, Kirishima’s speech was also forgone, “I-I- uh.. man that.. wow I…” he tripped and tumbled over his words. He was dreaming. He had to be. Well, either that or he had wandered into some strange episode of the Twilight Zone or something.

Bakugou’s glare at the floor intensified, “I thought she might not be so bad… but I didn’t want to be with her like this,” Kirishima’s eyes widened at the underlying tone of hurt buried under his friend's words, and then they widened even further once he realized what he just said.

Had Bakugou fallen for someone for the first time?? And then his eyes widened the furthest as things finally began to click within his confused mind.

He sucked into a sharp gasp, “You mean that model!?”

Bakugou simply scoffed, finally relieving his glare form the ground and focusing his hot gaze on Kirishima, “Yeah, turns out she’s actually a fucking bitch.”

Kirishima’s jaw dropped, “BAKUGOU! That’s the mother of your child! You shouldn’t—”

“She didn’t remember the night at all. I was just another fuck toy for her,” Bakugou stood up and clenched his fists over and over again as if they itched to be slammed against something—tears welling up in his red-hot eyes, “Now tell me if the roles were reversed, how shitty it’d be then, huh?” Kirishima immediately shut his mouth from speaking up anymore as he allowed his friend to release his feelings. It wasn’t often that Bakugou built up enough to let things out this way.

Bakugou scoffed again as he began pacing the room, but Kirishima swore that it had the hint of a cry layered within it somewhere, “they might not even be mine since she likes that ‘fuck toy shit’ so much. That night meant nothing to her…” he threw his arm against the wall, effectively tearing a hole into it

Kirishima jumped a bit from the action as his mind briefly wandered to the security deposit on their lease. He pushed these thoughts away as Bakugou stiffly returned to the bed, his leg bouncing even more fervently than before.

Kirishima simply watched for a moment to allow his friend to simmer down before he spoke up very softly, “But you think it is yours though…”

Bakugou’s eyes snapped up to Kirishima’s, whose eyebrows were furrowed deeply into each other as he stared back.

In all his years of knowing Katsuki Bakugou, Kirishima would have never described his best friend with anything even resembling ‘gullible.’ His gut feeling and instinct were as sharp as ever and hardly ever wrong,

“Must be for a reason then…” he tried to look past the tears that filled up within his best friends eyes but they still left his heart feeling a little heavier than usual, “If you think it’s yours then I’ll have your back no matter what buddy. You’re not alone in this.”

“They.”

“What…” Kirishima eyebrows folded toward the center of his expression.

“She’s having fucking twins.”

“Holy Sh…” Kirishima quickly swallowed his words as he took in the forlorn expression plastered onto his friend’s face. There was no room for him to be shocked right now. He had to be Bakuous ‘rock’ so to speak, “I-I mean congratulations!”

Meanwhile you found yourself studying the woman in the reflection of your mirror. Your eyes trailed every detail of her swollen, red eyes. Then to her hair that was fuller than you had remembered—the beauty of bottled color maybe? You danced over the way that loose strands stuck to the slimy mess of tears and mucosa that had accumulated on your cheeks.

Nasty.

A sharp chuckle came out of you, spittle following not too shortly after, but as it reached your ears it resembled more of a cry.

Okay, that’s enough self loathing for one lifetime.

And with that, you moved away from the mirror; however, as you did so, your sight basically smacked the open cabinet of liquor bottles that you were eyeing earlier.

Okay…. Maybe not quite enough self loathing. Your mouth began watering at the delectable sight. It was a desert after a delicious four course meal. There was always room for more…

With a shake of your head, you brought your hand up to smack these thoughts out of your mind. What was wrong with you? You had been a lot of things in life, but were you really so low to bring yourself to effectively murdering your own children?

That’s what would happen if you drank, right?

You loudly groaned as more tears slipped from your eyes. You really didn’t know shit when it came to this pregnancy thing.

Your mind briefly wondered to Baby Notes Vol 1. You should probably take the time to actually read through it a little. Skimming it wouldn’t kill you.

Physically.

The sudden pounding at your door snapped you almost immediately out of your thoughts.

“Y/N?? Y/N, it’s me!”

With a final pathetic sigh you found yourself gathering up all the alcohol from the cabinets that you could into your arms and placing them in the bathtub before jotting over to the door.

As soon as you opened it Deku barged in and gripped you softly, “I came as soon as you called! What’s up, what's wrong?! Are you okay??” His eyes frantically danced around your wet eyes and red sockets before he allowed them to roam all over you, checking for injury.

He wouldn’t ever think that Kacchan was the type of guy to put his hands on you, especially with how much he’s grown since high school, but the nagging voice in the back of Izuku’s mind fervently reminded him of all of the bruises and burns and numberless emotional scars he accumulated with he was quirkless from his childhood friend.

And here was a woman he deeply cared about-- quirkless—having to spend time alone with said childhood friend.

“What’s wrong??” Izuku found himself repeating as his hands mindlessly wiped the fluid from your cheeks. As soon as he committed the action, however, his face ran completely red and he quickly released you from his grip, so that he could get a grip of himself.

You didn’t notice his slip up, and if you did you sure as hell didn’t care at the moment. There were more pressing matters at hand. Two to be exact, “Twins,” you simply said to him as tears began flowing down your cheeks more furiously.

“Huh? Oh… Oh.” Izuku’s eyes went wide as your words sunk in. As soon as he threw you an obviously apologetic glance you threw yourself into his chest and sobbed throwing him a bit off guard as he barely caught you in his arms.

Izuku’s eyes nervously roamed around your home as if he were searching for the right thing to say to you, but as he made contact with an open pantry in your kitchen, his jaw dropped-- your alcohol pantry.

It was far less full than it had been the last time that he visited, “Y/N… What’s with the… have you been drinking?” he pulled you away from his chest and looked seriously into your eyes.

The sight honestly kind of scared you a little—like a 15-year-old being caught with their first beer-- that is, until you remembered that you were innocent as fuck, “No,” you gave a slight chuckle through your tears at the sudden surge of intimidation, “I need your help getting rid of it.”

You walked away from Izuku for a moment, leaving him confused and a bit wary of where this was going, until you returned with a hammer—leaving him even more concerned,

You were aiming for bad ass Harley Quinn vibes, but you were sure that with a dried trail of tears on your cheeks and the force smile splitting your face you came across like more of a psycho ass Harley Quinn. Furthermore, the look on Deku’s face screamed that you were correct (also it screamed ‘GET THIS GIRL IN A STRAIGHT JACKET!’).

“What are you gonna do with THAT?” Izuku squealed.

“I need to get my favorite bottles out of the house. Stat. and you're gonna help me.” At your words, Deku gave a gigantic sigh of relief, but still kept his eyes glued on the hammer in your hands. You noticed and shrugged a bit, “Smashing things is also really cathartic. I am sure you of all people can agree with that.”

“Heh… Yeah. But are you sure this is okay? I mean, I don't want to raise your blood pressure or anything because--”

“Deku. Less talk, more smash,” you threw a towel in your tub to make clean up a little easier, and so you didn't knock a chunk of tile on your bathtub. You gave Deku one last glance. He was still looking very uncertain, but you threw him a short smile before bringing the hammer down onto a bottle of tequila. The bottle instantly shattered, sending bits of glass throughout your tub. You looked up to give Deku an excited glance, and surprisingly, he returned one right back.

“See? Not so bad!”

But you spoke too soon as the scent kicked you in the fucking nose. It was too far to turn back now. You choked down your nausea and handed Deku the Hammer, “You go ahead and get started. I’ll go get another weapon-- I mean… tool,” you corrected yourself after he sent you a terrified stare.

As you made your way back to the after grabbing your second weapon-- I mean tool a sudden thought crossed your mind. Without hesitation, you pulled your phone out and dialed in,

“Hello?”

“Yes. How may I help you today?” Dr. Yamakawa sounded from the other line.

“It’s Y/N…Y/N L/N…” you trailed off, hoping that you wouldn't have to say the ‘p word’ or anything relating to it.

His old ass better take the hint. To your dismay, his old ass did not take the hint, and a long pause of awkward silence filled the air.

You pursed your lips together in annoyance, “Mama Bakugou,” you clarified through gritted teeth, still dancing around the fact that you were a maternity patient of his.

“Ohhhhh!” He exclaimed, causing your face to fall into an expression of disappointment as he continued, “What can I do for you, Mama Bakugou?!”

This mf. You internally ground and fought the urge to facepalm, “Well. I need you to write a doctors note for me.”

“For…?”

“Work?”

“For your pregnancy? Dear, why don’t you just take maternity leave for that?”

“No.” In the moment you shook your head even knowing that he couldn't see you, “I need a few weeks more before I can tell my job about this… situation. I’m a model. They own me through a contract and I didn't exactly add two roommates to the lease on my body...”

There was a pause on the other line, causing your heart to lurch a bit, but things soon went back to normal when he finally spoke up, “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll email you something.”

You gave one final thanks (and an internal ‘yessss’) before making your way back to the bathroom, “Hey Deku, sorry it took me so long I was just--” you froze at the sight in front of you. The shirt that Izuku wore was completely drenched in liquid and your tub had a gigantic hole on the side.

Your lips fumbled over themselves as you gawked at the spectacle. Deku could only send you a nervous laugh,

“Uh, hahaaa… Can we be done now? This… this burns,” he rapidly blinked the liquid from his eyes as he glances back down to the lot of broken bottles in your tub before throwing your one more pleading glance.

You choked down a laugh, causing it to flee from you in the form of a snort, “Someone had some pent up aggression, huh?”

In response, his face delved into a deep shade of red, “I.. uh..” he had no idea how to answer you when you looked at him like that-- your lips curved into a stunning smirk of a smile. Izuku promptly cleared his throat, “C-can I take a shower?”

“Obviously not that one-- you're totally fixing that by the way Mr. Big Shot Hero,” with a laugh you swiftly made your way to him and carefully grabbed the hammer from his grasp, looking up to see his face dive even deeper into crismon. You flashed a smile at the display. He really was adorable as hell.

You took in his face bit by bit-- his soft, blushed skin, his freckles cheeks, his round eyes. As you digested his expression you swore you could see an entire forest within his stare. Suddenly your heart pinged.

“Uh, Y/N,” Izuku interrupted your thoughts, causing your heart to throb for a different reason as you suddenly realized the proximity of the two of you. You stepped back so fast that your head spun. At least, you hoped that was why your head was spinning,

“You can use my shower.” you said very abruptly as you turned away from him,gesturing him to follow you to your bedroom.

Your bedroom. Your hear throbbed once more. Deep down, you hoped that you were about to have a heart attack or something; however, something within you told you that that probably was not the case. You swallowed hard.

What the fuck was happening?

‘KNOCK kNOCK KNOCK’

The next morning you found yourself stirring awake to a loud succession of banging. Your eyes fluttered open for a moment only before they snapped back shut. The magnet drawing them together and you closer to sleep was much stronger than whatever noise was trying to wake you up, “Mhmfmfm…” you muttered as you rolled over on the couch and pulled the blanket over your head.

Izuku, however, was not one to ignore such an obvious noise and he found himself trudging off of the other sofa he slept on to answer whoever was banging on the door.

‘KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!’

“Coming!” the green haired man tiredly called out as he launched himself toward the front door and swung it open.

The astounded face on the other side of the entrance soon mirrored his own.

“Kacchan!” Izuku exclaimed.

Bakugou’s shocked expression very quickly contorted into one of pure rage, “What the hell is going on here?!” He screamed causing you to jolt awake as you threw the blanket over your head. You found yourself fumbling up as Bakugou continued to scream pointed to Deku, “The fuck is he here for??”

You made your way over to the two men- one seemingly terrified, and the other obviously enraged. As your head began lifting from the daze of sleep, you crossed your arms and glared at Bakugou, “He spent the night helping me with something,” you shook your head, trying to free yourself from the oncoming headache, “Hey, better question: why are you here?”

Bakugou seemed to swallow his own tongue as his jaw clenched shut, “I wanted to… uh…” he glared at the ground as he tried to find his next words. Shit. why was this so fucking hard? He should have never listened to that Shitty Hair and come over here. Bakugou scoffed to himself before redirecting his stern gaze back toward you, “Come with me.”

You could only blink.

What kind of caveman talk…You tilted your head as you fleetingly threw a confused glance toward Deku, who only shrugged in response.

Bakugou quickly grew tired of yours and Dekus silent conversation, “You wanna hang out or not??” he growled before throwing another heated finger toward Deku, “And he can’t come.”

“I was just heading out anyways. It’s no big deal really!” Izuku defensively threw his hands up as if to show Bakugou that he was no threat at all. He went to gather a few of his belongings from the sofa he slept on before throwing Bakugou one more gaze-- this one a lot more astute.

A majority of Midoriya’s mind told him that there was nothing to worry about at all, but there was still a small section of him that couldn't shake the memories of how Bakugou treated him as a quirkless child. Izuku knew that he would never hurt you! But… just in case…

“You take care of her Kacchan,” the tone came off pleadingly but the look in his eyes was a bit stern. You had never seen this portion of Deku before and it almost instantly caused your chest to thud, harshly reminding you of last night’s sensations. Shit.

“Don't tell me what the fuck to do, Deku. Those are my kids in there. Not yours. You just remember that,” Bakugou scoffed, causing Izuku’s expression to falter ever so slightly before he fixed it again.

Your jaw dropped at the sheer bluntness of his statement, “Kacchan, what the f--”

“I guess you’re right, Kacchan,” Izuku began, “Sorry if I crossed a boundary,” he smiled at Bakugou-- who only huffed in return-- and quickly turned to you, making the tightness in your chest worse, “Bye, Y/N!” Izuku smiled, almost too innocently, considering the raging war in your gut at the moment.

You smiled back-- a feeble attempt at masking the inner turmoil ravaging your insides. “Peace, bb,” you gave him a weak hug before gesturing him out of your home. You threw him one final smile before shutting the door. You instantly whipped your head back around the the blonde brat behind you, “What. The. Fuck!?”

“I already told you. I want to hang out.”

“Are you fucking allergic to texting or some shit??” you yelled, “You just waltz in like you own the damn place and demand me to ‘Ohhh ahhh wo-man! come with me, wo-man��,” you renacthed his prehistoric behavior.

Bakugou felt his muscles tighten in response to your taunting. Your loud nature, mixed with the confrontational behavior was reminding him way too much of his own mother. He swore on his life that he would never end up with a woman like her and yet, here he was standing in front of her fucking carbon copy. The thought made him sick as he groaned in frustration,

“Shitty hair was fucking wrong!” Bakugou spat, causing your eyebrows to furrow in confusion as he continued, “The last thing I want to do is hang out with a bitching hag like you!!”

Your jaw dropped, “Excuse me??” You have heard pretty much every other insult in the book hurdled at you, but ‘hag’ was never one of them. You laughed, “I wasn’t a hag when you fucked me all night, huh?!”

“Yeah? I don't know what was wrong with me then. You are way different when I am not pumped full of alcohol, apparently.”

Your laughter immediately ceased, “Whatever. you came up to me and confessed your love like a raging SIMP, and now all of a sudden I’m a bitch?

“Fuck! Well, I got to know you past a pretty, stupid, fucking face!”

You blinked in shock. The unfamiliar feeling of your heart sinking into the pit of your stomach overwhelmed you as hurt surrounded your face. Practically your entire life, being beautiful has been a mask of sorts for your overwhelming failures. Still, here this man was-- practically a stranger-- seeing past your facade, looking directly into the steaming pile of shit that you truly were. Your eyes suddenly became warm as tears filled them,

“Then why the fuck are you even here, asshole?? TO PISS ME OFF?” you shouted, throwing your hands by your side and clenching them so tightly that your nails dug into your skin.

“BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW ALL OF YOU!” he screamed back. The shocking words fled out from under his harsh tone and stunned you as your brain processed them. You felt your fist unfurl a bit as he continued, “I wanted to know you. Good and bad. Bitchy and not. You're carrying my children… I want to know them,” he finished, almost defeated. This tell of emotion was obviously the last thing he wanted to be doing, you could tell.

Still, it meant a lot for some reason that he felt that he could do this with you “Oh,” you breath out, unable to articulate much else.

“Oh?!” he angrily repeated. Bakugou felt his face shrivel in disgust. He just poured out his being to you once more for you to trample on it like a fucking gymnast mat. However, as Bakugou formed his mouth to say something else, you halted him,

“Go… have a seat,” you gestured to the couch, blinking the accumulating liquid in your eyes away. The blond could only shoot a lone eyebrow up in response, causing you to sigh in exasperation, “Well, Are you just gonna stand there looking like that, or what?” he gave you one final scoff before making his way to one of your couches and seating himself comfortably, propping one of his feet on your coffee table as he glared at the non functioning television.

“Welcome, I guess. I am sure you’ll have no issue making yourself comfortable,” you deadpanned, eyeing his propped up legs, “I’ll go make us some… tea?” you suggested , but no answer came from him, “Tea it is.”

You rolled your eyes before trudging away. You always loved green tea, but for some reason the smell had been killing you lately, so you opted for peppermint tea instead. It was inferior by, far, but it matched the inferior, pathetic life that you had adopted recently.

Jeez. How much self deprecation can you fit into one week? Would this have any effect on the babies? If so, they’d probably come out singing RnB or some shit in the maternity ward. They’d have already stressed dyed hair and an entire Tumblr dedicated to sad aesthetics before they reached their first birthday, for god's sake.

You vehemently shook your head to once again get rid of the oncoming headache that snuck in with these disgusting thoughts, “So Kacchan!” you called out as you walked back to the living room, “What do you wanna know?”

“Don’t call me that,” he simply barked.

“What?”

“Don’t call me that name. I fucking hate it.”

You snorted and took a seat next to his glaring figure. You tried not to notice how he shifted further away from you as you sat down, “I am sure Deku disliked being called worthless his whole life too,” you smirked up at him, “I bet he fucking hated it.”

The atmosphere seemed to once more shift into a much heavier tone after your statement and the room fell quiet for a few beats. Bakugou’s small glare morphed into a much more forced one. It was as if he was trying to use the glare to hide another feeling, you noticed.

Finally, he spoke, “How much do you know.”

You tilted your head into another shrug, “Enough to know that you probably hate the fact that I am quirkless.”

His face contorted into one of pure disgust as the glareful mask he wore faded away like yesterday’s lunch. “I don’t give a fuck,” he argued, but the look you sent him showed no sign of believing it. Bakugou’s disgust deepened, but he made sure to control it enough to where you didn't know that it was directed towards himself.

“Oh really? Let’s see if you can keep that same energy when one of your kids pops out without that flashy quirk of yours,” Of course his face fell, just as you suspected it would. Just like it had for multiple other men you had told.

Most men’s pride utterly shrivels into dust as soon as the pretty girl in front of them-- the one that they fantasize about having a dream life with-- ends up telling them that they are quirkless. As soon as the words fall out of your mouth, the men's dreamy gaze effectively shatters alongside their hopes and dreams concerning you.

Nobody wants to pass weakness onto their children.

“You know what? I think I’ll go first,” you snapped him out of the uncomfortable, uncharacteristic silence, and he gave you an irritated, questioning glance, “You wanted to play 20 questions with me, or whatever. No limitations, okay? And I have the first question for you,” you explained before sending him a challenging gaze, “How could someone so full of hate truly aspire to be a hero?”

You expected him to blow up at you-- to scream, and yell and argue that you were wrong.

Yet.

The slightly apologetic, yet stern look on his face threw you for an absolute loop, “I wanted to win.” he simply answered. Somehow his matter of a factness was worse for you than any furious defensive scenario you had conjured in your mind, but as you went to open your mouth with a roll of your eyes, he halted you,

“That was when I was younger, “ he sharply clarified, “I wanted to win more than anything. To be better than everyone else—and that hasn’t changed but there's more to it now. I have to protect the people I care about—like my idiot roommates—I want to make sure we all come home safe by the end of the night.”

Once again he had thrown you off with a surprisingly normal non-caveman response, “That was actually…”

“My turn,” Bakugou abruptly cut you off, “How many men the you fuck this past few months?”

Your jaw dropped.

And back to Neanderthal you mother fucking guess! “Are you fucking kiddin—”

“You said no limitations,” he gruffly stated.

You bit your tongue and shot him a glare that could match his own before giving a sharp sigh, “Four during the last year. You were the last and the only one during the month I… conceived,” you swallowed as the word left a bitter taste in your mouth, “My turn. What about you?”

“What.”

“How many women the past year?”

“Why the hell does it matter?” Bakugou argued. Your eyes shot down to his body as it shifted around even further from you. From his body language you could tell that his answer was sure to be outrageously high.

He was an extremely attractive guy after all. Those rippling arms were nothing to fuck around with. His red hot eyes could melt steel beams with a passing glance. The chisel of his permanently hardened expression could slice through even the most secured of panties.

Yes. and there was no denying that he was a sex god in his own right.

It also didn't help that his temperament sucked, so you doubted he had had many long term relationships. He had all of the ingredients of a man whore stirring within him.

“I’m just curious,” you shrugged.

Bakugou threw his glare away from you for a moment as he contemplated on whether or not to answer your stupid question. He had his own questions to ask you still so he guessed that he didn't really have a choice if he wanted his answers,“...One.”

Your jaw dropped, “Seriously?” as his face fell into a furious shade of red you were smacked with a sudden realization,

“Kacchan, did you... lose your virginity to m...?” He glared even further away from you, but you could still see his ears falling even deeper into red-- effectively giving you your answer, “Oh my…” he trailed off. No wonder he was so fucking head over heels for you! Through your discomfort a horribly timed joke flew past your lips,

“You knocked her up on the first try huh? You’ve got some super swimmers,” you half laughed, but Bakugou obviously didn't find anything funny about it as he snarled angrily as you,

“Shut up!” he barked, throwing a pillow at you, “My turn. What’s up with you and that shitty Deku?”

The pillow hit you, but it was really his question that had smacked you in the face. Your chest thudded, and you prayed to whoever was listening that he couldn't see the racing of your heart, “He’s just a friend! A really good friend to me. Probably my first actual friend ever,” you said this as a joke, but obviously forgot who you were talking to.

“You didn’t make any in high school?” Bakugou’s face twisted up disbelievingly.

“Never went. Couldn’t afford the tuition...” now it was you who was uncomfortably shifting from him.

“Your parents didn’t help you out?”

“Slow down there, buckaroo,” you laughed, but his face remained as stern as ever as you continued, “That’s like three questions In a row for you. My turn.”

Luckily he caught the hint and didn't press upon the subject any further.

Through the night, you found out a lot of things about him. He was actually younger than you by a few years at twenty years old. His parents were both fashion designers (probably the biggest fucking shock to you considering his choice of black shirts and flannels) and that he was working on making his own hero agency since he had already climbed up the ranks in Japan.

Your game, however, was cut short by the growling of your stomach.

Bakugou almost immediately stood up, surprising you as he walked to your kitchen. Well, you did say ‘make yourself at home’ but this was a little upfront wasn't it? He soon yelled to you from the kitchen as you sat in shock still, “What do you have to eat in this shit hole?!”

Shit hole? You glance around at the decorations and clean atmosphere that you pride yourself on. That jerk. Your house was not a shit hole! “You can eat shit if you want. I’m not hungry.”

“The hell are you talking about? I just heard your stomach growling.”

You shrugged, “Just indigestion. I get a lot of stomach issues with these things inside of me,” the sudden clanging of pots and pan in your kitchen startled you, “What the hell are you doing??” you called out before marching to your kitchen.

You found him rummaging through your cabinets, stopping momentarily to judgmentally eye your still plentiful liquor cabinet for a moment before moving on, “You can starve yourself all you fucking want, but you're not fucking starving my kids.”

Your breath hitched in your throat at his accusation, “I’m not starving.”

“You think I’m fucking blind?”

“I have to stay in shape for work. Just like you I am sure,” you walked up to him and grabbed a bicep for demonstration, but he quickly threw your hand away from him as his face fell into a bout of shock. He quickly regained himself,

“Whatever,” he grunted before swinging open your refrigerator.

“What are y—Hey!” you yelped as he began haphazardly throwing food onto one of your counters.

“Is all you have in here rabbit food? Jesus fucking Christ,” he ignored your cries and began throwing certain items together and heating up a pot of water.

You couldn't help but blink at the display. He seemed pretty natural in the kitchen and that in itself was unnatural considering his caveman persona, “You... cook?” you felt uneasy.

“You don’t?”

Honestly, your diet consisted of salads and ramen since you were 15, so cooking wasn't a necessity. You reluctantly shook your head at him.

He looked completely disappointed and disgusted with you but, hey, what else is new? Bakugou scoffed, “Well you’re gonna have to learn how now. Pay attention.”

You rolled your eyes at him. If you wanted fucking Gordon Ramsey bitching you around in the kitchen you would have clicked on that stupid ad that always popped up on your Youtube. Then again, Bakugou was more of a Guy Fieri with that spiky hair of his.

Whatever.

You guessed learning how to cook one meal wouldn't be too terrible,

“What are you stirring the water for if you didn’t put anything in it yet?”

“It helps it heat up faster, idiot.”

“Do you actually throw the noodles on the wall to see if they’re finished?”

Bakugou threw you a frown, “If you’re a fucking dumbass,” he said, moving you aside as he began stirring a saucer filled with vegetables. He completely disregarded your yelp as he moved you as a parade of thoughts bombarded his mind.

He would have to come over more and keep you and his kids fed if you truly didn’t know how to cook. He scoffed and his stirring hand more slightly more erratically with frustration. What kind of grown woman didn't know how to cook pasta?

His thoughts were halted by a loud squelch that sounded through the air. He immediately threw his gaze up to the wall in front of his face and his expression fell at the sight. He growled, snapping his gaze back toward you by the pot of pasta, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” his furious glare danced between you and the wet noodle that stuck to the wall.

“I wanted to see if it would actually stick! Don’t get your balls in a twist, it was one noodle!”

“So damn wasteful,” Bakugou ground his teeth as he frustratedly scrapped the starchy pasta off of your wall. He opened his mouth to tell you just this, but immediately snapped it back shut as he felt something being thrown at his head, “that better not be what I think it is…” he snarled through his teeth as he eyed food dangling from one of the spines of his hair.

“Don’t worry, Kacchan. It’s not a worm,” you laughed, but your giddiness was soon cut off as a hot noodle was thrown back in your direction. You could only blink as it stuck itself on your nose.

“Hmph,” the corners of Bakugou’s lips slowly curled into a smirk, “It’s a good look on you, noodle face,” You laughed but once again was cut off. The brief sound of his laugh coinciding with your own shocked you.

His smile slowly died down as he caught wind of you gawking at him. He cleared his throat, “Are you done being a child? I’m ready to enjoy my good ass cooking.”

However, you didn't answer him as you once again found a smile creeping onto your face. He rolled his eyes and began making himself a plate of food, but he quickly grew tired of you smiling at him like some bimbo,

“What?!” He snapped, “You want another noodle to the face.”

You shook your head as you shuffled past him to serve yourself a plate, “No.. just you have a nice laugh.”

He scoffed, “That all you're eating?” he completely disregarded your comment but you decided to let it die too,

“I don’t see you with any food on your plate,” you shrugged, “I’d be more worried about yourself if I were you,” you winked at him before setting down at the table.

The night went pretty well after that. So well, in fact, that the two of you decided to have “parental meetings” every few days so that Bakugou could teach you how to cook. You ended up learning how to make 10 more dishes within the next three weeks.

Bakugou and you didn't exactly become close, but there were far less screaming matches than there had been in your first few meetings. You still didn't know him very well, but he wasn't necessarily a stranger anymore.

It was… nice.

The next check up came very quickly because of your lack of employment and your dates-- err um… “parental meetings” with Bakugou.

“Your twins should be about the size of avocados now! We’ll check again with a routine ultrasound. We do have the DNA tests in for you all so I’ll just go and run for those real quick.. well walk briskly. You don’t do an awful lot of running at my age.”

“I don’t do an awful lot of running now,” you joked, and Bakugou sent you a stern glare that screamed, ‘don’t encourage him.’ you shrugged as the doctor walked out of the room.

It was silent for what seemed like forever. You and Bakugou still weren't very good at sparking conversations, but eventually he spoke up as you laid back on the exam table, “You're really fucking showing now.”

You brows instantly came together, high fiving each other in your state of being roasted, “Thanks...” you deadpanned.

The look on your face sent a wave of hurt through the blond’s heart.

What the hell. It was like he felt your hurt. For the first time in a long time, Bakugou actually regretted his choice of words. He glared at the ground as he attempted to change the subject, “You’ve been eating, right?”

“How else Would I be sitting here, looking fat and talking to you, Kacchan.”

“I told you don’t call me that,” he paused, as if he were really considering his next statement, “Call me Katsuki,” he finally dragged out.

You rolled your eyes, “Okay, Kacchan.”

Just as Bakugou open his mouth the no doubt scream at you, Dr. Yamakawa entered the room,

“Mama Bakugou! We have some really good news. Everything seems fine with the twins according to the DNA testing. One is a little small right now, but it’s completely normal for there to be a dominant twin so to speak. No genetic abnormalities or health concerns,” you saw Bakgou visibly stiffen at this before relaxing as the doctor continued, “’Cept for you.”

You shook your head, blinking heavily as if you’d just been punched in the brow, “Me?”

“You do have a concerning BMI—you tend to lean a little towards underweight. I understand you are in the profession of modeling correct,” he said very, curtly, “You need to add more calories to your daily intake. You wont need to ‘eat for three” as they say, but you do need to put on some substantial pounds or you will risk a premature birth..”

You had no fucking idea what to say to that. ‘Nice?’ ‘Cool beans.’ ‘fucking just give me the mother of the year award already!’ You felt your chest tighten and suddenly you realized you hadn't been breathing. You sucked in abruptly, causing the doctor to take a step towards you,

“You're looking a little flushed there, Mama Bakugou.”

“Well how else is she supposed to respond when you tell her like that, old man?!” Bakugou snapped, causing both you and the doctor to gawk at him.

“Kacchan! What the fuck don’t talk to him like that, jerk!”

Bakugou scoffed, throwing his glare, much more pouty this time-- to the jar of cotton balls on the counter of the office.

“It wouldn't help either of you to sugar coat this, son,” the doctor sighed, “You have made it this far along in her pregnancy. Miscarriage is substantially less likely but if you want to give these babies a better chance, I’d suggest higher caloric intake.”

Needless to say, Bakugou did not leave the doctor's office that day a very pleasant man. He would angrily stalk ahead of you a for a few moments before pausing and grumbling about how ‘fucking slow’ you were as you caught up before the cycle would start all over again. You could only take this for so long, however,

“What!?” you yelled suddenly as the grumbling phase of his cycle began once more, “Will you stop fucking brooding already and speak your mind—”

He instantly snapped his face towards your own to stare into your eyes. You fumbled back a bit as the intense vermilion bore into you. You opened your mouth to speak but his serious expression exclaimed something before yours could,

“I wanna move in with you.”

You paused. You couldn't have fucking heard that right.

He… wants to...

“What…?” you mouthed.

Taglist: @steggy4ever @library-trash @watevermelon @glimmadora-ble @persephones24 @dragonempress123 @your-pri-ncess @broken-from-fandoms @hot-pocket01 @tsukineho @bakugousbabydoll @bubbzibubbles @ikebukuro-ghoul @thehoneycookiecrumbs @katsukis-sad-angel @dulcetailurophile @yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @kanasakura @lonekitsune @pastel-prynce @mynameispurple @cutest-celestial-princess @minfani @aurorahoneybuns @galacticrosee @orokayagi @centerhabit @animefan7420 @katsukisposts @bakugou-is-my-daddy

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #mha imagine #mha imagines #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugou imagines #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou #baby boom

397 notes · View notes

silverducks · 3 years ago

Text

Jaime Lannister - Honour vs Loyalty

And why I didn’t like his ending.

Ok, so I was going to write a post about my thoughts on how they ended the show for Jaime Lannister, but it was getting very, very long, so it will have to wait for another day. Because yes, nearly a month after I finished watching the series, I’m still not over that.

Anyway, as that post was getting very long, I thought I’d just focus on this one thing here, and that’s the idea of honour vs loyalty and how it effects Jaime as a character.

Spoilers below (cause I’m sure there’s still a few people in the world who don’t know yet how it ends.)

Ok, so to say it bugs me that Jaime went back to Cersei at the end of the series and died in her arms is putting it mildly. No matter how much I try to reconcile it, or watch/read people’s opinions on it, I just can’t get it to make sense. It’s more than a bit frustrating.

For me, it makes no sense that, after all that character development, after everything he went through and everything he watched his sister do, after finding another woman who not only believed in the good in him, but helped bring it out, he decides to run back to Cersei.

Now, I’ll leave most of my thoughts on that in the other post (I have a lot, lol!) and just wanted to focus on here the idea that Jaime’s ending is somehow tied up with his concept of honour vs loyalty. Or at least in how I’ve read people try to justify it.

Ok, so I’ve not read the books yet, but I’ve read enough quotes/analysis and opinions online to know that after about series 4, Jaime’s character takes a very different path to what we have in the show. So I’m only really talking about the show here. Also, I have only watched it all once, recently in a marathon watch, so there’ll be loads of stuff I’ve missed or forgotten.

And I’ve read/watched enough online to know a lot of people are also very annoyed that Jaime went back to Cersei. In fact, most of what’s been bugging me is based on comments I’ve read on YouTube or series 8 reviews. The main video, or review, mentions that they don’t like how they assassinated Jaime’s character arc, but then there are discussions in the comments saying that for some they do think it makes sense.

Now, I’m not saying they’re wrong, but I do disagree with some of the main justifications they have said. One of these is that people say it was honourable for Jaime to return to Cersei at the end. That it made sense for his character to return to his sister and it did complete his character arc.

My thoughts on that are basically NOPE! You’ve misunderstood the point of his character arc. I’ll save most of my thoughts for the other post, but to summarise, for me, Jaime’s character arc has been both about redemption and identity. It’s been about becoming a better person and trying to make amends for your past mistakes, but also about finding your own voice, your own thoughts and your own inner self. And, as both these arcs are tied together for Jaime, overall his whole character arc was about him breaking away from Cersei and, through doing that, becoming a better person.

Yeah, I know that sounds kinda corny and simplified, but, for me, that’s overall been Jaime’s character arc. He’s had plenty of slip ups (cough mainly the writers refusing to let Twincest go cough), but overall he’s grown as a person, so what we see in series 8 up to that scene in episode 4, is a better, changed person. As he says to Bran, “I’m not that man anymore.”

This means the fact that he just goes back to her at the end, does indeed ruin his whole character arc. And I honestly can’t get it to make any sense in way that isn’t JUST because the writers decided he should.

So, if we then consider the idea that it’s somehow honourable for him to go back to Cersei… Ok, I can see why people may think that, but for me, it’s not honour, it’s loyalty. Honourable would be to continue on the better path, acknowledging that your sister has done wrong, continues to do wrong and has gone down the opposite path. Jaime’s path has been about redemption, Cersei’s has been one of villainy.

Cersei needs to pay for her crimes as it were and that is, imho, the honourable thing to do. Now pay for your crimes doesn’t mean anything as awful as torture or that walk of shame (no, even though Cersei tortured others, I’d never say the same should be done to her). But as she’s never shown any remorse for what she’s done (unlike Jaime, who then had 7 series of redemptive arc making up for it), it’s not honourable for Jaime to go back to try and save her, to think they can just run off together. Of course, I know and understand both Jaime’s and also Tyrion’s inability to just let her die – they instinctively want to try to help her because she’s their sister. That’s why Tyrion still keeps on trying to plead with her. If Jaime was already in Kings Landing he could do the same.

No, the issue is he leaves Brienne in the dead of night, breaking her heart and saying how hateful he is, rides all the way to Kings Landing just to be with Cersei. Especially when he knows it’s pretty much a suicide mission and won’t make any difference. That is not honourable - to want to die with your evil twin sister so she’s not alone. That is loyalty.

And, this brings me back to the whole honour vs loyalty issue with Jaime, and why series 8 messed it up imho. In the earlier series, we see that Jaime is very loyal to his House, as is everyone in Westeros really. And usually loyalty is seen as a good trait – in our world as well as the world of GoT. And the Lannisters are even more focused on their loyalty as we see from Tywin. Your house/family is it and you pledge loyalty and are willing to die for them. So him being willing to do all he can to save his sister, that is loyalty.

And Jaime is very loyal to his house. But he’s also a Knight and Brienne is right, there is also honour in him. Something she first found out when he told her about why he killed the Mad King, and something that she has been slowly encouraging and bringing out in Jaime ever since.

Yet what do you do if your House/family are not honourable? The Lannisters as a House have done all sorts of bad things, including things like organising the Red Wedding and Cersei’s attack on the Sept. What do you do then, when your honour conflicts with your loyalty? This, for me, is one of the biggest struggles for Jaime’s character and so imperative in his overall character arc.

This is something that is brought up in the tent scene between Brienne and Jaime – they both know there is no honour (ie, it’s not the right, moral thing to do) to attack and kill the Tully rebels when they are defending the home the Lannister’s took from them. But he is a Lannister. And this is a big struggle for Jaime – as he’s trying to be more honourable and become a better person, his loyalty to his House and family are more and more at odds with that. Even more so when you consider his complicated relationship with his sister.

In that situation, he found an alternative; a way to still be loyal to his house, by taking back RiverRun, but also be honourable, by making sure no blood was spilt.

And for me, as Jaime grows in his character arc, he starts to choose honour over loyalty more and more (eg giving Brienne the Quest to find Sansa rather than killing Sansa at Cersei’s request and then freeing Tyrion against his sister and father’s wishes.) This culminates in the scene where Brienne challenges him outright in the Dragon Pit. There is no alternative here; he can do the right, honourable thing and join the fight for mankind, or he can choose to remain loyal to his sister and Queen and not help.

Now, we know this isn’t an easy decision for Jaime, but eventually, he does just that. He chooses the honourable thing by going to the North to help them. And that is, imho, where he finally and fully breaks away from Cersei and becomes his own person.

So, for me, the idea that it is honourable for him to return to Cersei goes against his whole character arc. It ruins his identity arc, because he once more stops being his own person, stops making his own decisions and is all focused on Cersei again. And it goes against his redemption arc, by choosing loyalty above honour, by returning to her and trying to save her after everything she has done.

That is not honour, it is loyalty, which is basically taking Jaime back to the start – where he always did choose loyalty over honour and it made him do some pretty darn bad things.

So, for me, for a Jaime that had been through so much, come so far in his character arc, his identity and redemption, to return to Cersei like that is a complete 180 and a waste of those 7 years of character development we saw.

And it makes no sense.

#Game of Thrones #Jaime Lannister

6 notes · View notes

ask-gotham-city · 4 years ago

Note

Do you have any favorite conspiracy theories surrounding the bats?

G: Since I’m not as passionate about the Bats in the same way W is, I mostly stick to their history in and impact on Gotham more than the theories and more fandom-y side of the community. However, I do strongly believe at least a few of them aren’t fully human. My front runners for that theory are Black Bat II, Batman, Red Hood, and Orphan. There’s just something funky going on w/ those guys. Anyways I’ll turn it over to W now for whatever she has in mind.

W: Oh boy anon :-)

Here’s a whole post we’ve made about Batman theories, and now it’s time to get into some others.

1. There have been/are multiple Batmen

Think about it. Being Batman is a tiring and complicated job, he gets beat up a ton, much more than most people could probably take. Not to mention descriptions of his personality, voice, abilities, etc. vary wildly from person to person. Makes you think. Is it multiple people alternating wearing the suit over months or years? Is it really just one crazy powerful or supernatural guy? No one fuckin knows bro!

2. The Red Hood is some kind of ghost or zombie

There are soooo many reports of strange encounters with Red Hood. People describe everything from feeling like they’re being watched to getting a strange cold sensation when they catch sight of him. I’ve had that experience once, when I saw him while walking home. By all accounts he carries this weird air of oddness with him, something unsettling and supernatural. He still acts pretty human in fights and when he talks to civilians according to most reports, but no one can remember what his voice sounds like. At all. We love a spooky bitch guys, but damn that bro creepy.

3. They’re all vampires

I mean. A classic. From the Bat theme to reports of members reportedly being supernatural or withstanding lethal wounds to Bat sightings in the day being extremely rare, there’s really a lot you can speculate on. Also there are a few pictures floating around the internet from like... idk some time a few years ago that actually look like a vampire Batman, but it might just be photoshop.

4. New developments and theories in the hero relationship world

Over the past couple of weeks there have been reports of some new or changed hero relationships. I guess the capes are jumping on the Wayne trend of breakups! The only stuff I’ve really been able to find so far is that Spoiler/RR couple sightings have declined recently, and that a few weeks ago when there was that company explosion over in San Fran there were also some shaky videos that have lead people to believe RR might be with Superboy, Impulse, or both now. We aren’t really sure! But I hope all parties involved are happy with where they are. There have also been more scattered sightings indicating a possible new relationship for Mr. Batman himself, but the parties involved can’t be identified in the video.

5. Secret Batfamily leader/puppet master?

This is a favorite of mine. It stems off the fact that when the Bats are caught talking a lot in battle, it never seems to be to each other. People have picked out a few names that don’t match up with the vigilante’s aliases, including A, O (thought to be Orphan by some though people talked about this mystery person before that name change, making that unlikely), and finally Oracle (who many people have tied to the aforementioned ‘O’). Is there someone behind the scenes organizing the Bats? A leader who isn’t Batman? The theories on who this is range from the second Robin and first Batgirl all the way to Bruce Wayne. I love this theory, and though I don’t have a stake in this mystery person’s identity I do think they exist. I don’t see too many people talking about this one though which is insane! There might be another Bat right under our noses guys!!

6. Spoiler=resurrected from dead or relative of previous Spoiler

I’ve talked abt this one before but I was too lazy to find the post. Basically, there’s a swirl of theories around the blonde haired vigilante(s) that have been seen in Gotham. Some theorists think they’re all the same person, from the first Spoiler to that female Robin to the blonde Batgirl to the current Spoiler, but some people think there’s more to it. It’s pretty well known that something bad happened to the female Robin. There was all that gang shit and violence and then there are civilian reports of seeing Batman at a free clinic in the Narrows, etc. etc. Personally, I agree with the people that think she died, which is pretty widely accepted as fact. From there though things get muddy. Some people think that girl was resurrected somehow (it happens man who knows) and went on to be Batgirl and Spoiler, others think she didn’t die but you end up the same way. People who think she wasn’t resurrected point to the similarities in hair and build of the following heroes as a possible genetic connection, citing sisters, twins, even parents or children depending on the age people slot the original Spoiler at. Personally I kind of like the sister theory, but imagining the original Spoiler is still kicking is a happier concept. I’m not really sure on this one but it’s a deep rabbit hole for sure.

7. The Signal is a meta

This ones almost not a theory, just based on the amount of overheard conversations and firsthand accounts. People aren’t quite sure what his powers are, but I’ve found stuff on shadow manipulation, possible precog stuff (though might just be Bat training), and other mixed abilities. This is one of my favorites just because I already thought Signal was cool, but when the news of him being a possible meta started spreading I know a lot of meta kids in Gotham found a new role model! You don’t have to be a supervillain if you have powers in Gotham, you can be a hero too!

Anyways I have more but those are a couple off the top of my head and this is long enough. Let me know your guys’ thoughts on any of these, or if you have any theories yourself. I’d love to talk to some other Batfans!

-W

#the dynamic duwu #gotham city #batfam #batfamily #red hood #jason todd #spoiler #stephanie brown #batgirl #robin #timkonbart #barbara gordon #oracle #duke thomas #the signal #dc #dc comics

51 notes · View notes

nala-raines · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 4 The Telling: My Friends

When I woke up a few hours later, and when I walked into the living room, everyone was saying congratulations and hugging me. The three of them wanted details about how Adrian proposed, the wedding, and who all knows. We tell them that in two weeks we plan on taking another one maybe two week ‘vacation’ to tell my friends and family back home. And I had checked some gossip sites and I didn’t see anything. So, I’m hoping I’ll be able to tell my family the news.

Lily once told me that she was cursed when it came to Christmas, while my family is cursed when it comes to making plans. I had hoped to tell my family and friends in person a week after we got back, but we weren’t able to go to Michagan, until a month and a half later. On the 20th of August, five days before my birthday. Heidi had called me every other day after I got back from Paris. She knows I’m not telling her something, thankfully she doesn’t push for answers, I had to swear that what I was keeping secret was good news.

A week before we leave, my parents call me on game night. Adrian and I started right after everything happened, he knew I needed to keep my friends close. He also knows I like playing board, card, and video games. So, he suggested that we start a game night. But when I answered the phone, well there’s no other way to really say it, all hell broke loose. My parents and sister started yelling all at once, it was so loud that I nearly dropped my phone. I couldn’t make out much, just that they were pissed, I was also able to make out a few words like ‘whore’, ‘gold digger’, ‘b*tch’, and other hateful things. I couldn’t say anything, I just sat there, numb, it's when I started crying that Adrian lost it. He took my phone, and ended the call, and held me, he held me and said ‘I love you’, as I cried into his shoulder. Kamilah, Jax, and Gaius put their hands on me, just letting me know that they’re there.

When Adrian and I get to the airport, we’re both shocked that the three of them are there.

“Hey guys, what are you doing here?” I ask them.

Gaius seems to want to be gentle, and tried to respond, but Kamilah spoke first, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you two to see your family without us there. So, we’re coming with you.”

I tried telling all of them that my family is unpredictable, they did care, but the gang wanted to make sure that Adrian and I were safe. I looked over at Adrian and nodded, we all went on the plane. The flight wasn’t that long, but I still leaned on Adrian and took a nap.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

When the plane landed we all piled into a car with our luggage and headed to Heidi’s house. As Adrian drives us to her house, at ten minutes out, I decide to lay out ground rules.

“Okay guys, I need to lay out some quick and easy ground rules. Try to keep swearing to a minimum. If any of the kids want to hear stories about your past, you can share with them, but make them PG. And please, no one tell anyone about what I did on the day I killed Rheya.” I tell them. “I’d like to tell them about that day myself.” I look over at Adrian first, he glances over at me with a smile, takes my and kisses the back of it. I look at the others in the back.

“Alright.” Gaius said, I think he can tell I’m nervous.

I know Heidi and her family, and we’ve talked since revealing vampires to the world. I told her how and why Adrian had turned me, and that I was, and still am, actually happy with my new life. When I told her about why I had to turn into a vampire, I heard her start to cry, and Adrian had kissed my forehead telling me that he was sorry, that he had done that because he was selfish and didn’t want a world without me in it. Heidi had overheard him talking to me, she had told me that she said that she understood it was a hard choice to make, she had actually choked on a few sobs when she said “That you were … about to … die.” Now we’re closer than before, we text and call every few days. But this is the first time I’ve seen her and her family since I’ve been turned. I know I’m not exactly a vampire anymore but I’m still nervous and excited to see her again.

“Oh, Adrian, it's this driveway on the left.” I tell him, worried that he might miss the turn. He immediately starts slowing and turns into their driveway. As soon as he does, clouds fill the sky, blocking out the sun. “Huh, would you look at that. Oh, you can park in front of the garage.”

“Wait, why are so many people here?” Jax asks confused. “You told her that we were coming today right Nala?”

“Of course I told her. She even texted me two days ago to confirm that we were coming today. And I texted her saying that our plane had landed and we were on our way. She said that we could show up anytime today.”

“I think she may have planned a surprise gathering to celebrate your birthday.” Adrian says with a smile and a small chuckle.

“Did you two plan something without me knowing.” I think I should spend a little time looking through his memories from the day, but then I remember something that she had mentioned a long time ago. I’ve even gone to several of these gatherings after things started going south at home.

“No, I didn’t plan a party for you. Not this time anyway.” Adrian responds.

“This may not be safe.” Kamilah says, the concern obvious in her voice, “Maybe we should go back to the hotel…”

“Relax guys I know what’s going on.” I tell them all with a fond smile on my face, as I recall the memories I have. Adrian parks the car and it starts to rain.

“What’s going on then?” Gaius is wary. I may not have known him long, but I can just sense it.

“Cousin game night.” I grab my purse getting ready to open my door, “Well you guys coming or staying in the car?”

As I reach for the handle, Adrian puts his hand on mine, “Hold on, I don’t want you to get soaked.” He grabs the car keys and his cell and opens his door. He walks over to my side to open my door, but he first takes off his jacket and as he opens my door he puts his jacket over the opening reducing the amount of water that hit me. Kamilah, Jax and Gaius follow us to the front door.

I hesitated for a moment before knocking, my fist is just hanging there. Adrian puts a hand on my lower back, I turn to him and he gives me a loving look and a supportive nod. ‘It’ll be okay. It’s Heidi, she’s always been there for me.’ I knock on the door, and a second later I’m face to face with Heidi. She just stands there for a minute, not moving, I don’t blame her. I told her that I would be bringing four vampires, she said that she was fine with it, but being face to face with vampires can be overwhelming. Before I can say anything, Heidi just pulls me in for a huge bear hug.

“I'm so glad you’re okay.” I feel her tears and my own start to fall.

“Yeah. Of course I’m okay, Heidi. Adrian has put himself through a lot just to make sure I’m okay.” She let out a laugh.

“I’m sure of that it’s just… I didn’t really know what to expect.” She pulls back and looks me in the eye, “I kinda thought you would look more…”

I can tell she’s trying to find a word that won’t be offensive but there was only one real word for it. “Undead. Yeah I thought that too, but as it turns out you only really look different when you’re supper ticked off or about to feed” Everyone who heard that laughed. It honestly feels like nothing has changed. “Oh, Heidi,” I wrap my arm around Adrian’s waist, and with my other hand I gesture to him, “I would like to officially introduce Adrian Raines.”

“It’s a pleasure to Mrs. Leonard.” Heidi takes a step forward and shakes his hand. And then I introduce her to the rest of my new friends. After that she welcomed us into her home, her kids run up to me to give hugs, her husband, Kole, and the rest of the family greets us in a similar manner.

⚜

After dinner, the boys and Kamilah were cleaning up and talking while Heidi and I were talking about how my life is really going. Like how I feel about Adrian possibly becoming a Senator, me taking over his company, and how I feel about continuing our relationship long distance.

“We’ve talked about that a lot actually. He understands that after everything that I’ve just been through, I don’t really want to move and I’m really afraid of losing him. Adrian was actually late to several meetings because he wanted to know how I was feeling about anything and everything. He uh, he actually took me a trip to Paris. So we could have some ‘us’ time before the actual election.”

“You went to Paris, again? But when? And what about that vampire hunting group? They could’ve killed you both?” Heidi was worried, because I had told her about the Order. But I forgot to tell her that Rheya had killed them all.

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you, Rheya had killed everyone that was in or associated with the Order. We went there about a month ago. Which leads me to this…”I hold out my left hand and show her the ring that Adrian had given me on the Love Bridge. She lets out a gasp, covers her mouth with her hands, before she grabs my hand and takes a closer look at the ring. Heidi gives me a questioning looking at me, silently asking if it means what she thinks it means. I answer her with a question, “Wanna be my matron of honor?” Tears start to form in her eyes, she doesn’t move or make a sound… until…

“AAAAHHHHHHHH!” She screams out of happiness. She throws her arms around me and we fall back onto the couch. We both are laughing and smiling. And then everyone in the house or out in the yard runs into the living room.

“What is it?”

“What’s going?”

“Is everyone okay?”

“Oh my gosh! Of course! I’m honored! When are you guys thinking about having the wedding?” Heidi is talking fast and excitedly, thankfully, I can understand every word while everyone else is just looking at us mostly confused.

“Sometime this December. He didn’t just ask to put me at ease. Believe me, I checked. He just wanted me to be his wife.” I tell her a few tears start falling down my own face.

“Wait, what’s going on in December?” Kole asks.

“Nala and Adrian’s wedding.” She lifts my hand so he can see the ring, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted to tell you in person and Adrian wanted to be here too. He wanted to meet you and my family.”

Adrian comes over to stand at my side, and when he does Heidi gives him a hug. Kole walks over and shakes his hand, and everyone else congratulates us. We talked, I told everyone how Adrian had proposed, then we all played more games, talked about ideas for the wedding, and Heidi made sure that every weekend in December was clear, so when we had a date set, she was ready. Adrian already had made appointments ready for me, Heidi, and whomever else I invited could look at wedding dresses. Both here and in New York, he even got a famous designer to come and design one if I wanted it.

She put the dates in her calendar, and talked about the engagement party. After awhile, we got ready to head to the hotel we were staying at.

“Well that was fun.” Gaius said and Kamilah nodded in agreement.

“I know right. Those kids are a blast.” Jax says smiling. “It kinda felt like we’re all a giant family.”

“They’ve always been like that. My first Cousin Game Night, I had just called to vent, but she invited me over to get away. It was so much fun that her parents had invited me to the next one, too.” I smile at the memory. “Did you have a good time, Babe?” I ask Adrian.

He just glances at me and smiles, moving one hand off the wheel, holding it out to me palm up. I put my hand in his, and he brings my hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to the back of it, before answering, “Yes I had fun. Heidi is a wonderful friend to you. It was nice to see you relax.” Then I see worry flash in his eyes before he says, “You feeling okay? Are you dizzy, lightheaded, or tired?”

“Surprisingly, no. I’ve felt fine ever since we landed. I’m either lucky or I’m going to feel like I got hit by a car tomorrow.” Everyone lets out a laugh, before I hear Kamilah ask,

“So, who are we meeting tomorrow?”

“Well I was hoping I could introduce you guys to my Aunt Lauren, but she’s busy for the next few days, and Porkfest is next weekend. Sooo, we could either go to the UP to see my Aunt Diana, or go to Ludington and meet up with my Aunt Karen in the afternoon, and they both have their issues that will make this difficult though.”

“What issues?” Gaius asks.

“Well, My Aunt Dianna’s ex-husband was a dirtbag, they split a long time ago, but ever since, she doesn’t like many men, other than my dad, and her kids and grandkids. And my Aunt Karen is … well a Karen. She's a tough, stubborn lady that had four kids, and she’s not afraid to tell you what she thinks. Thinking about it, she and Kamilah will get along great. I love them both, and I’m sure that they can keep quiet about our engagement for a few days?”

“What about us being vampires? How did they take that?” Jax asks. Not that I blame him.

“Well, they sounded okay with me being a vampire-human hybrid of sorts, and me bringing vampires into their homes. But they took it better than my parents did. And before you ask, my cousins have a higher chance of having list after list of questions for you to answer than kill you guys. They love stories about werewolves and vampires.”

“And your parents?” Kamilah asks because I haven’t mentioned them yet. I only told Adrian what the argument that caused my move to New York was. Adrian just gives my hand a supportive squeeze and says,

“The plan is to see them on Friday.” They can all hear the concern and dread in my voice.

“I know you have issues with them, but how bad do you think it's going to be? And isn’t Friday your birthday?” Jax asks. He understands having disagreements and fights with family members, but I never told him just how ‘fun’ this was going to be.

“Yes, Friday is my birthday. I’m hoping that will put them in a better mood. Their first baby’s twenty-fourth birthday and all. 2. Remember meeting the Five?” I see him nod and Kamilah shares a worried look with Gaius, and Adrian just looks angry for a moment. “Imagine that, but times worse.”

“How so?” Gaius asks.

“Well my sister, Sarah, is a lot like Kamilah, but way, way, way, way, way… woooorse. And my mom is pretty easy to piss off, and will yell and try to manipulate you into feeling bad. Oh and if you try to explain how something affects you, she’ll usually just say what she meant to do and wasn’t supposed to be offensive, and we just get in a loop.”

“Oh… Now I’m worried.” Jax responded, and everyone in the car fell silent. I glance back at Kamilah, she knows that she can be cold and harsh, and even she looks concerned.

“And your father?” Gaius asks.

“He actually called me the other day.” Adrian gave me a surprised look, ‘Dang it. I knew I forgot to do something before we left New York’. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you, A.”

“It’s alright, how did it go?” He squeezes my hand a little tighter.

“He apologized for my mom and sister, and told me that he supported my decision to stay in New York and you”, I look at Adrian with a fond smile, “as long as I answered a question.”

“What was the question?” Adrian asks me.

“He asked me if you treated me with love, honor, kindness, respect, and if I believed that you wanted me, and me alone.” I say still looking at him, “I told my dad that I have never felt more loved in my life. That when I draw a line or don’t want to do something, you honor and respect the fact that I don’t want to whatever it is, and you don’t push for it. You ask me before we do something. And that I don’t think I’ve ever met a man as kind as you.” Adrian wipes the tears off my face as we pull into the hotel’s parking lot.

He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to me, still holding my face, “You mean everything to me Nala. I will always want you and you alone.” He gives me a sweet, gentle kiss.

“Get a room!” Jax says getting out of the car, along with Kamilah and Gaius. We pull away and laugh. We get out of the car and he puts his arm around me.

“Hey guys, how do you all feel about going to Ludington? It would be a few hour drive, but I know a few vampire safe spots in the area.”

They all share a look, before Gaius spoke up, “Why not. We handled Rheya, Baron, Lester, Vega, and Priya. I think we can handle your aunt.”

“Why not.” Kamilah said and Jax just shrugged. I look at Adrian to get his opinion.

“Let's get you to bed, we’ll be meeting your aunt tomorrow.”

“Ludington here we come.” We all go into our hotel and find our rooms to get some rest the days ahead.

#adrian raines fanfic #adrian raines #bloodbound #bloodbound 4 #adrian raines x mc #jax matuso #kamilah sayeed #gaius augustine #engagement #best friends

11 notes · View notes

kerikaaria · 4 years ago

Text

If I Never Met You: Chapter 4

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Some fluff, angst

WC: 3.1k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

By the time another week and a half passed, I started to get the hang of balancing everything without over-exhausting myself so much – although of course, it still wasn’t easy. If Bang PD-nim will let me stay after my contract is up, I am definitely not going to stay full-time as a student, but I’m just glad I won’t feel like I’m suffering as much from now on.

Sejin oppa has been spending his time with me to show me everything a manager is supposed to do. I’ve learned that the managers work directly with the celebrities and in particular, anything to do with their schedule. From setting up the schedule, to taking them to the different schedules and back, to making sure everything runs smoothly at each place. There were other things as well of course, but that’s one of the biggest parts of the job.

So that’s mostly what we’ve been doing – he’s been showing me all the duties of a manager and teaching me how he does it. Since they haven’t debuted there’s not a lot of things for us to technically do quite yet, but there are still small things the boys can do, like being a backup dancer for someone else’s music video, prior to debut. When they get closer to being ready for their debut, we will have to start working really hard to get their official debut scheduled. He’s already warned me that it won’t be easy to convince a station to debut a group from a company who hasn’t had any big celebrities yet.

It was a Saturday and there were no classes, so when I woke up early I went to the boys’ shared dorm to meet them there before heading to the company. Sejin oppa shared the boys’ schedules with me now so I knew when they had anything to do. Whenever possible, I’ll be helping with getting them to their schedules. And I had a particularly difficult person to wake up today.

I knocked on the door. I had a spare key, but there was no way I would enter without at least making my presence known. I didn’t want to see any boys walking around in their underwear.

To my surprise, Jin answered the door quickly. “Good morning, (Y/n). What brings you here so early?”

I made eye contact with him and said, “Yoongi.” He understood right away and placed a hand on my shoulder to offer his sympathies.

“Well, I am making breakfast so once you manage to wake him up, you’re welcome to eat,” he suggested.

“If I make it out alive, I will definitely take you up on that offer,” I replied as I entered the dorm and placed my belongings in the living room. I turned towards Namjoon who was the only other one awake in the dorm. “Is it safe for me to enter?” I asked.

Namjoon flashed a smile. “They’re all presentable, no mental scars for you today noona.”

I took a deep breath as I slowly opened the door to the boys’ bedroom where five very sound asleep bodies lay in their beds. I looked for the 2 who needed to be at the company for lessons in an hour, contemplating if I should start with easy or hard mode. I decided to climb the ladder to the bunk of the boy curled up hugging a pillow.

“Taehyung, time to wake up,” I gently tried to shake him awake. When he didn’t respond, I tried pulling the pillow out of his grasp, but he just held onto it tighter. Was he actually awake, or does his sleeping body have that good of reflexes? “Taetae,” I called in a sing-song voice. “Seokjin is making you breakfast.”

His eyes opened just slightly at that. “Really?” he asked groggily.

I giggled at the adorable picture. “Yes, really. Now get up before you have to witness my massacre at the hands of Yoongi.”

He sat up and deciding I no longer had to worry about him, I made my way to the bunk where my biggest obstacle lay still. I breathed in a large gulp of air as I prepared myself for what was to come. “Yoongi,” I tried in the same sing-song voice I used with his younger brother. “Time to get up, Yoongi.”

I heard a grumble come from the otherwise lifeless rock. I tried nudging his shoulder but still nothing. “Come on, wake up Yoongi,” I tried again. He responded with weak swats of his hand to tell me to go away. I paused for a second while I thought of how to best wake him up.

I watched Taehyung climb down from his bed and an idea popped into my head. Before he could walk away, I stopped him and gestured to Yoongi’s bed followed by a hugging motion, hoping he’d understand what I was asking of him. He frowned back at me, not wanting to die today, but after I pleaded with my eyes he sighed and shuffled over to Yoongi’s bed. He laid next to his hyung, curling around him and wrapping him in his arms. I quickly snapped a picture with my phone while the older boy tried shoving him off. I gave Tae a thumbs up so he knew it was safe to run for his life.

“Yoongi, if you don’t wake up I’m going to show this picture of you and Tae snuggling to everyone in the company.”

At that, the reluctant sleeper sat up in bed, turning his head in my direction. I’m sure if his eyes were open, I’d see him glaring at me. “Noona, don’t you dare,” he grumbled.

“Then wake up, sleepyhead. Seokjin’s making you breakfast anyway.”

He slowly pushed his covers to the side as I pulled him out of his bed and pushed him out the door to make sure he didn’t go lay back down.

As we walked out, Namjoon looked up surprised. “You made it out in one piece, noona?”

I nodded, happy that my mission had been accomplished so easily.

Yoongi sat down at the table and held his hand out towards me. “Give me your phone, noona.”

“Nope!” I teased him. “I need to keep this for future blackmail.”

“Yah, don’t even think about it,” the grumpier boy retaliated.

Ignoring him, I sat down at the table across from Taehyung to wait while Jin finished making breakfast and placed a very delicious looking meal in front of me. The five of us had a quiet, peaceful breakfast together and Seokjin covered the leftovers for the rest to eat when they woke up.

I walked with Taehyung and Yoongi to the company while the older boy lectured his younger brother for our conspiracy this morning. Despite Yoongi’s seemingly angry demeanor, I swear I saw hints of a smile and a look of endearment flash on his features a few times. It was a rather cute scene.

When we got to the company, they went to their individual lessons – Taehyung to his vocal lesson and Yoongi to dance. I’d be getting some more training today, but Sejin oppa was busy until afternoon, so my only mission for the morning was accomplished. With nothing else to do, I decided to hang outside of the room where Tae was receiving his coaching and pulled out my schoolwork to pass the time.

I was quietly listening to music and after sitting there for a little while, I heard some other employees talking nearby. I was going to ignore them, if it wasn’t for the fact that I heard my name.

“What do you think about the boss hiring that (Y/n) girl?” a voice asked, enticing me to remove my ear buds.

“I don’t get what’s going on in his head sometimes. She’s so young, probably has no job experience, and she’s not even Korean. What did he see in her?” another responded.

“I have no idea. He’s trusting her to be able to debut a group. Sejin no doubt could do it, but I’m sure all that girl is doing is pulling him down and making it harder for him.”

“At least she’s a temp employee, she’ll be gone in a few months then he can get them back on track with their debut.”

“Yeah, I’d hate to see their potential and everyone’s work get wasted over a stupid spur-of-the-moment choice.”

“I can’t wai-“ the voice stopped abruptly and the conversation seemed to end.

I finally placed the earbud in my ear. I had heard small whispers and seen people giving me strange looks out of the corner of my eye here and there throughout the past couple of weeks so I had my suspicions that there were those in the company unhappy with me. But I had never heard anyone talk about me like that before. I knew they didn’t matter and it shouldn’t bother me, but I couldn’t help but find myself upset over the words.

I leaned my head against the wall behind me. As I looked up, I saw a very silent Seokjin staring at me.

“Oh, you’re here?” I conjured up a smile for my friend while putting my ear buds away, music no longer needed with him here.

He sat next to me. “You heard them, didn’t you?” I guessed him walking past them is what halted their conversation.

I placed my head on his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter.”

Seokjin wrapped his arm around me, gently caressing my side to comfort me. “We have faith in you, (Y/n). I hope you know that.”

I sighed. “I learned to not pay attention to what other people think of me a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t mean it can’t bother you, though.”

“The only opinions here that matter to me are you and the boys, Sejin oppa, and Bang PD-nim’s. Everyone else is insignificant to me.” I said the words more in an attempt to convince myself, and I’m sure Jin knew that because his grip on my side tightened as he lay his head on top of mine.

We sat in silence for a while until I felt the familiar vibration of my phone. I looked to see a message from Sejin oppa telling me he’s here and it’s time for me to go to his office. Jin let his hold on me go so I could meet with my mentor, and jokingly blew me a kiss as I walked away. I shot him a hand heart back and he grabbed his chest, pretending to faint at the gesture. I giggled, glad that I could always count on my friend to be there for me.

Since we had more time today than most other days today, Sejin oppa took advantage of that to test the knowledge he had given me up to this point. He ran a bunch of management scenarios past me, such as issues that could happen during various events, and I had to explain how I would handle them on the spot. I understood a lot of what was expected of a manager and I seemed to have a good grasp on how to do these things in theory, I just hoped that I’d be confident and stable enough to be able to do the same in practice too.

Eventually, hours had somehow passed and Sejin oppa had other things he had to do, so he let me go and I was free to do what I wanted. Not wanting to go back to my dorm just yet, I made my way to the boys’ usual dance studio. I knew it was about time for their group dance lesson, but I planned on hiding in the corner and to do some school assignments by myself. I just wanted to be somewhere I was much more comfortable.

I snuck my way into the room while they were attentively following their instructor’s lesson and found my way to the back corner where the couch was. I quietly pulled out my work and put in my headphones to help me focus.

I would periodically glance up at the boys’ hard work, admiring their skill. No matter how many times I saw them it still always amazed me. The amount of work and effort that the trainees put into improving their skills was so admirable, it made me almost feel motivated to work equally as hard at what I wanted to accomplish in my life too.

But what did I want to accomplish? When I chose my college major I was so sure of what I wanted to do, but ever since coming here I can’t help but find my schoolwork tedious and almost pointless now. I found myself wanting to focus on learning how to be the best manager I could be for the group of wonderful boys working hard in front of me.

I stopped working on my schoolwork as my mind flooded with thoughts. I felt like I really wanted to stay here, but could I? I wanted to help my new friends achieve their dreams but what if I wasn’t good enough and ended up messing it up for them? Suddenly the conversation I overheard earlier plagued my mind. As much as I wanted to be here and prove those people wrong, as much as I felt that I could do well if I just tried my best at this job, there was a part of me deep down that just made me feel so insecure about if I really could do it.

Someone quite literally snapped my mind back into reality. I looked up to see Jimin looking at me curiously.

I pulled my earbuds out of my ears. “Yes, Jimin?”

“Nothing. Our lesson is over,” the boy responded. “You seemed really lost in thought there, noona. Everything okay?”

I offered him a smile. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” I looked around the room and noticed that they were putting on jackets and gathering some belongings.

“We’re going to go get some dinner, want to come?” Jimin asked.

“Sure! And you know what? It’ll be my treat,” I said.

Hoseok seemed to be the only other one to hear my offer. “NOONA! You’ll buy us food? Oh my gosh, can we get samgyeopsal? Please? Please, please, please, please?”

His volume got the attention of the rest of the group, so they all started chiming in asking the same.

“Okay, okay. I can splurge on you guys, just this once,” I teased as I made my way out the door first. Everyone followed closely behind.

Eating dinner was about the same atmosphere as it usually was with these seven, full of chatting, laughing, and playful banter. I found myself laughing along with them as we ate.

I sat across the table from Seokjin. He placed about the twentieth piece of meat that night on my plate and I shot him a look.

“Seokjin, stop feeding me and just eat,” I lectured. “I can feed myself.”

“But (Y/n), you need to eat more,” my friend defended.

“And so do you,” I retorted. “You guys work hard all day, you need to eat.”

He gave me an unreadable look as he somehow stuffed 5 pieces in his mouth at once, making me laugh.

As the boys kept conversing, I tried to enter the conversation here and there. It was hard, with there being seven other voices and of course a lot of the things they talked about where from before I knew them or things that I didn’t have much to say about. As we were starting to wind down and finish our food, I excused myself to the bathroom but I’m not sure any of them noticed.

It made me happy seeing them all have a good time like that, but I couldn’t help but feel a little left out. I didn’t necessarily blame them; it couldn’t be easy to add one more person into the mold when they were all so close and fit together perfectly already. I closed my eyes and shook my head, as if to literally get rid of any negative thoughts that were surfacing in there.

When I walked back to the table, I was shocked to see it void of any people. I quickly walked up to the register to pay for the meal and left the restaurant as fast as I could to go find the boys. Relief washed over me when I saw Seokjin leaning against the wall just before the door. He pushed himself upright when he saw me so we could leave and start walking.

“Thanks for waiting, Jin,” I said.

He put his arm around my shoulder, “Of course, (Y/n).”

“Why’d they all leave?”

He shrugged. “I guess they just didn’t pay attention, maybe they thought you left first? I saw you head to the bathroom though, so I waited for you.”

I looked at the ground as we walked, contemplating the words of my friend. It was hard to not feel upset that I was that unnoticeable, for them to just leave without me as if I were never there in the first place. No, I can’t think those kinds of things. They’re not like other people I’ve known, they wouldn’t do that. I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding. I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts once more.

“You alright, (Y/n)?” Jin asked, looking down at me.

I mustered up as much of a smile as I could and nodded. “Let’s just get back.”

We walked the rest of the way in silence as we headed back to the dance studio, where the boys were planning on getting some more practice in before heading back home. Jin opened the door to the studio but paused for a second before turning to look at me. I was about to ask him what was wrong as he went to close the door before I heard a voice from inside.

“She’s just going to leave us anyway, so what’s the point of trying to be close?” I heard Jungkook say.

I stopped Seokjin from closing to door to listen in on the conversation a bit more.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh, though?” Jimin responded.

“I don’t know, aren’t we just temporary to her too? It’s not like she’ll see us after she leaves,” Yoongi’s voice pierced my heart.

“We should still be nice to her while she’s here,” Namjoon said. “It’s not like we can just ignore her.”

I couldn’t register the rest of the conversation, as their voices turned to inaudible mumbles while my head started spinning. I felt Seokjin’s concerned gaze on me as he closed the door, my hand no longer holding it open.

“(Y/n)…” he started.

I didn’t let him finish. All I could think about was getting out of here. Getting out of this place where I clearly wasn’t wanted. So I ran.

(A/N) - I'm not an expert on anything related to being a celebrity manager so I'm sorry if any of the information I put in this chapter regarding what the job entails is inaccurate. This is just how I picture the job to be. I'm trying my best to be as accurate as I can with most things, but I can't know everything about everything lol.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope

Send me a message or ask if you want tagged!

55 notes · View notes

evendeadlmthehero · 5 years ago

Text

The Five Year Promise: A Rainy Night (3/10)

Summary: Y/N Stark, 20 year old superhero, makes a promise with a 16 year old Peter Parker after being cheated on, that if she hasn’t found love in the next 5 years, they’d finally go on a date. Then the snap happens. Y/N is gone and Peter isn’t.

Warnings: Angst, swearing

Twitter// BuckysLemons

The Five Year Promise Masterlist

Part 4

A/N: this is probably my proudest chapter. Hope you guys enjoy!

Based on before Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

You smiled to yourself as you walked inside the Osborn building, holding a little gift by your side. It was a black box encased with red wrapping paper and inside it? It was a high tech watch you designed yourself, that allowed people to call, holographic video chat and set reminders and countdowns.

Why you might ask? Well it was yours and Harry’s three year anniversary. Yes, despite the cautioness from your father and what the media had thought, Harry and yourself had been going strong for 3 years.

So you decided to surprise him at his apartment. You were wearing a red dress, his favourite, and a limo was waiting outside to pick you up.

You had it all planned, with the help of Peter of course.

“I’m so scared Peter,” you shook your head, looking at all the possible Limo services you could rent as well as restaurant options. “I want this to be perfect.”

“Well, if he really loves you, he wouldn’t care what you guys do as long as he gets to spend time with you,” Peter spoke, playing with hands.

Peter didn’t want to help you plan a date with Harry, of all people. It was painful to watch someone he loves talk about planning a perfect date with someone else when he knew he loved her more.

But then you pleaded with him, and he couldn’t say no. Almost a year ago, Peter thought that he had lost you. And he wanted to spend all the time he could with you in fear of losing you again.

“C’mon Peter, it has to be special!” You groaned, rubbing your eyes as you searched for good restaurants. “The day has to be perfect.”

You let out a sigh, and stared out the computer. Peter watched you, all tired and frustrated, and of course he felt bad.

Brushing his hair out of the face, he swallowed his pride and spoke. “Where did you guys first meet?”

“We met at a small Avengers Charity Event at a restaurant called Masa in New York-“ you stopped, beaming at Peter, knowing what he was insinuating.

You jumped up from your seat and gave Peter a bone crushing hug.

“Peter, you’re a genius!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he forced out a laugh, as his arms wrapped around yours. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of warmth radiating from your body.

His eyes opened, as he realised you were taken. You were in love. And you were happy.

But it was never going to be with him.

You smiled at the receptionist as you made your way to the elevator. The door closed, and you pressed level 72; the highest floor in the building.

“Name?” A voice spoke in the elevator, already doing a retinal eye scan.

“Y/N Maria Howard Stark,” you spoke, fixing your dress.

“Access accepted,” the voice responded, making you smile. You were so estatic, you couldn’t wait for today.

You were going to take Harry to Masa, show him the present you got him and then take him to your favourite little get away in the woods were you would tell him how much he means to you.

You had been planning this for 4 months now, wanting everything to be excecuted flawlessly.

You let out a deep breath, closing your eyes as you tried to calm down your nerves.

‘52, 53, 54’

You were almost at his floor. Your stomach felt queasy, but you assumed it was because you were afraid he hated this date you took forever with Peter to plan.

‘65, 66, 67’

Only a couple more secounds, and you were almost there. It felt like the elevator was moving in slow motion as you patiently waited to surprise your boyfriend.

You smiled at yourself as you were one floor away from his room. The elevator dinged, and you couldn’t stop smiling.

‘I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I surprise him,’ you had though to yourself. You were about to hop off before you stopped dead in your tracks as you saw Harry.

He was in his bed, hair all ruffled up and his face a deep shade of red, like he had ran a marathon. But he wasn’t alone.

No, there was a blonde girl in bed with him.

Your breath couldn’t make it past your throat. You felt like your throat was slowly swelling up, like you were suffocating. Your heart was racing, because this was a dream.

It was a dream wasn’t it?

But it wasn’t. This was real. The person who you devoted your whole life to just ripped the heart out of your chest and left you to die.

“Y/N, I can explain!” Harry spoke, getting up from his bed, quickly putting on his pants. You looked at the girl in bed with him, who gave you a little smirk. Like she was taunting you.

And why wouldn’t she taunt you? She had broken the heart of the world renowned superhero-tech-genius and one of the original Avengers, indirectly.

This hurt. This hurt a lot. More than when you had a bullet go through your chest last year. No, emotional pain was worse than physical pain.

Because physical pain never kept you up at night.

You looked back at the love of your life. The person who you stuck your neck out for. Tears almost fell from your eyes, but before it did, you pressed the ‘ground level’ of the elevator.

Harry ran towards the elevator, but before he reached it, the door closed on his face.

You took a deep breath as the elevator begun descending.

‘64, 63, 62’

You could see the reflection of your face staring back at you as you went down. You were quiet, numb and felt completely and utterly destroyed.

But you couldn’t cry. No, not yet.

‘47, 46, 45’

You spent 3 years with him. 3 years. And he left you for a blonde. How long had this been going on for? Has he done this before?

Your thoughts kept racing in your head, 100 miles a minute. You kept thinking, what did you do wrong? Did he not love you?

‘3, 2, 1’

The elevator dinged as you fixed your hair. You then held your face high and walked out of the elevator.

You gave the reception a small smile, but she could tell something was wrong and gave you a sympathetic smile. You looked away from her and continued your walk of shame towards the limo.

Shame because you weren’t enough for him.

The driver got out of the limo when he saw you coming and opened the door for you. “Take me back home.”

“But Miss Stark, I thought you wanted to go to-“

“There has been a change of plans,” you spoke in an emotionless tone, as he closed the door of your limo. You sat back on your seat closing your eyes as you leaned your head back.

You then pressed a button that made the window divider move up so you could get some privacy away from your driver.

And that was when the first sob raked your body.

Peter yawned as he ate cereal from his bowl. Vision was sitting in front of the Parker boy, reading one of the Game of Thrones books and Rhoudey was on his right, reading the newspaper.

He looked to the your seat and realised it was empty. He was confused, you were usually the earliest one awake to go to the gym before having shower and then eating breakfast with everyone else.

But you weren’t there.

“Um Mr- Mr Rhodes,” he coughed, clearing his throat. “Cornel Rhodes. Do-do you know where Y/N is?”

Rhodey put down his newspaper and looked around the table before going back to read his newspaper. “Probably asleep or at that rich asshole’s apartment.”

“Miss Stark is not at Mr Osborn’s apartment,” Vision spoke, not taking his eyes of the book. “I heard her come in yesterday so my guess is she is tired and is in great need of rest- oh no they just killed Robb Stark. I did not see that coming.”

“You should watch the show Vis,” Rhodey spoke, rolling up the newspaper. “It’s better than the books. And I have a feeling the last season is gonna be a hit.”

Peter tuned out Rhodey and Vision’s conversation and kept thinking about you. Surely you’d come out of your room eventually, right?

But you didn’t.

Peter was with Tony, doing his internship and you hadn’t come out to experiment with them like you usually did.

“That’s weird,” Tony spoke as he realised you didn’t show up. “Can you go find her, see if she’s fine? I’ve got an interview with a major jackass and a bunch of other jackasses trying to get the major jackasses’ job.”

Peter nodded and went off looking for you when the clock struck 6pm.

Outside was pouring of rain, as the end of winter started approaching. There was no sign of snow, meaning the cold days were over and spring was slowly approaching.

Before Peter knocked on your door, he heard sniffing. His eyebrows furrowed as he spoke out.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

The sniffing sound immediately stopped and it was suddenly quiet in your room.

“Just a minute,” you spoke back. Peter heard rustling and movement as he waited outside. You then opened the door, a smile was once again on your face. “Come in.”

Although your eyes were still red, he pretended like he didn’t see it and walked inside. He looked at your room, looking at all the tissues you tossed in your bin, before sitting on a chair near your bed.

“So,” you begun, sitting on your bed awkwardly, playing with the sleeve of your sweater. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I’m just worried about you. I haven’t seen you all day because you didn’t come to breakfast, then I didn’t see you at the lab working on your suit and you didn’t even show up to our nightly lab tradition with Mr Stark-“

Peter stopped, his eyes looking elsewhere. You were confused on why he had went quiet, following where he had his eyes trained.

The gift you had wanted to give to Harry was still there, still perfectly wrapped up.

“Oh,” Peter spoke, his eyes widening in realisation. “You didn’t give Harry the gift. Why didn’t you give Harry the gift?”

He heard a little sniff, looking over at your direction only to see tears falling down your angelic face. One tear fell, then two, before a sob left your body and your hand moved towards your mouth as you started shaking your head.

“I don’t- don’t know what I d-did wrong Pete I- he just- he just-“

Peter quickly moved towards you, grabbing you into an embrace and holding you as you cried in his shirt, the sound of the rain silencing your cries. “Hey, Hey. Everything’s alright, okay? It’s just me Peter, you can speak to me.”

You shook your head in his shoulder as you continued sobbing. “Peter, he cheated on me.”

At first he didn’t think he’d hear you right?

Someone had cheated on you? Y/N Stark? That wasn’t possible in Peter’s mind.

But then he thought it was possible in the despicable mind of Harry Osborn. The man who cared about three things; money, his father’s approval and keeping his name famous.

Of course Harry would do something like this, it didn’t come as a surprise.

Peter closed his eyes, anger consuming his body. He couldn’t believe it. A boy who had the most gorgeous woman around his arm had slept with another woman that Peter knew wouldn’t even come close to you. Even if he didn’t know how she looked like.

But he couldn’t be mad around you. He couldn’t let his anger get in the way of your state right now. “He’s your first love, right?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, your voice cracking as you held Peter close to you, sniffing in his smell. It gave you a somewhat feeling of calmness. “Yeah he is.”

“Well, sometimes, that’s just how life is, right?” Peter spoke, trying to find the words to express was he’s trying to say. “You find love, and get your heart broken. But- but that’s okay. That just means you’re closer to finding your one true love. Your soulmate.”

“But I thought it was Harry,” you sobbed, shaking your head. That stung Peter a bit, but he ignored it. He had to, for you. “I wanted it to be Harry.”

“Harry was blockade. He was an immature arrogant blockade that stopped you from finding true love,” Peter spoke, brushing your hair with his fingers, which eased your cries a little bit. “You’re gonna find someone Y/N. Someone who’s going to remember the small things. Where you first met. Your favourite food. Even stupid things like how you like your coffee. And then, Harry is just a little memory.”

You stopped crying, looking up at him. Your faces your millimeters apart, making Peter gulp. “Where did we meet?”

“What?” Peter replied confusedly.

“When we met,” you repeated, looking at him in the eyes. The rain got heavier and heavier, now slamming against the roof of your room. “Where was it?”

“In Germany,” Peter spoke, trying to look anywhere other than your soft and inviting lips. “At the Ritz-Carlton Hotel. You were wearing a red top, red lips and a leather jacket. You smiled at me and introduced yourself.”

Your heart stopped, looking at him in bewilderment of how he remembered not just where you met, but your clothes. “My favourite food?”

“You like penne pasta with taco seasoning, corn, cheese and bolognese sauce,” he replied back, as he his eyes flickered to your lips and back up to your eyes. “Because um- because it reminds you of that time you went to Mexico with Mr Stark when you were ten. You make it every Tuesday for dinner. And you always give me some when I’ve been working hard or studying.”

“And how do I like my coffee?”

“You like iced mocha,” he answered, letting out a breath. “You don’t like normal coffee, because it tastes like crap and you like to add a little chocolate in it for taste. And you also don’t like it hot because you usually burn your tongue.”

Peter chuckled at his last comment, shaking his head as he stared at the wall.

You continued looking at him before nodding. Peter watched you as you got up to walk near the present you were meant to give Harry.

You ripped off the the wrapping paper, and walked towards the bed once again. Peter watched as you played around with the gift, before looking at him and handing it over to him.

He looked at the watch and read what it said.

1824 days, 24 hours and 43 secounds

“I-“ Peter begun shaking his head as he stared at the countdown on the watch. “I don’t understand-“

“Put it on,” you cut him off. Peter furrowed his eyebrows but followed your instructions nevertheless.

He placed it around his wrist, clipping it on carefully due to his fear of breaking it. He knew you worked hard for it. He saw you up at 4 am making it. And then he had made you breakfast just in case you hadn’t been eating.

Peter had awaken at 4am in the morning due a strong toilet urge. He had just finished washing his hands before he stopped, hearing the sound of electricity and metals clanging.

Naturally, Peter went to investigate. He thought he’d see Tony working on a new suit, but it was you. And you were working on what looked like a watch.

You looked horrible. Your hair was in a messy bun, there was bags under your eyes and you looked like you were in dire need of sleep.

But Peter of course still thought you were the prettiest girl he’d ever laid eyes on.

He could sense your tiredness. And if you’re up this late making something, it usually meant it was important.

When something was important, that equals you skipping meals. Peter knew that, so he head to the kitchen to make you some early breakfast.

He found a pancake mix and all he needed to add was some milk. He then turned on the stove and poured the mixture.

When he flipped the pancake, he then added some blueberries just for an extra pack of nutrients to make sure you were full.

Adding some maple syrup and some icing sugar, Peter was satisfied with the outcome and walked towards you.

He was being quiet, careful not to scare you, but when he knocked on the door of the lab you of course jumped and dropped your tools.

“Peter, oh my god,” you gasped, holding your chest. “You scared me so much that my 13-year-old one direction fan girl self came out from deep within me after being burried for so long.”

Peter chuckled at that, before going quiet, his shyness coming out once again. And he hated himself for it. He wish he was just as extrovert and funny like Harry was. He wishes he was him.

A billionaire man who had a father and you.

“I remember once my dad was so shocked when he opened my door once and saw me making out with a Niall poster,” you chuckled at the memory, shaking your head. You then looked at Peter and noticed he was holding a plate. “Whatcha’ got there Spidey?”

“I- I,” he stuttered, scratching the back of his neck. “I made you pancakes with blueberries. You just looked a bit tired and I thought...”

His eyes went around the room as he nodded to himself.

You let out a smile. No one had ever done something like this for you, ever. Peter was a true gentleman. But you couldn’t cross that road. You just couldn’t.

“Thank you Peter, but,” you fakily sighed, looking at your nails before flipping your hair. “You can’t possibly think that I, Y/N Stark, would eat this by myself.”

Peter smiled at you before grabbing a secound fork and sitting down with you to eat pancakes together.

You guys talked about everything, from random stuff like concerts and Star Wars to more personal stuff like how you miss Natasha and Wanda and what you’d do just to see them again. You miss gossiping with them, painting each other’s nails, talking about boys and other female stuff.

But you couldn’t tell your father that, he’d blame it on himself.

Peter told you about his parents and Uncle Ben, and how it was hard for him. He even told you about Ned and his high school bully; Flash. You told him that if he ever needed help, that your dad and yourself were both there. Even if it meant kicking a 16 year old’s ass.

Peter was going to remember this night for a long time.

But so were you.

When he was done putting the watch on, he then looked at you for answers.

“You like me Peter, don’t you?” You had asked. Peter’s face turned red as he stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence. “It’s okay, Peter, just listen.”

Peter nodded, but his cheeks were still tinted with a slight shade of pink.

“This watch is counting down till five years from now,” you explained, nodding down at the watch. You then breathed before looking at his eyes, finding it hard to say the next words.

You haven’t been this nervous since your father went up a portal with a missle.

“For what?” Peter had asked, awaiting your answer. You let out a little sigh, and closed your eyes.

“If I haven’t found love and if you haven’t found love either,” you begun, grabbing his hand and placing it around yours. “Then we will have our first date.”

And that was it.

That was the comment that made this day single-handedly Peter’s favourite day in his life.

Because for the first time, Peter had hope.

Taglist (CLOSED)

@kissingtrutharchives

@autobotgirl15-blog

@clockblobber

@im-a-stranger-thing

@jonsnowdoesknow

@fangirlingonrhys

@trenchcoatedwhiskers

@platonictrashh

@misswritingintherain

@itsbebeyyy

@xs-hoodie

@callmedaddys-blog

@fangirling12566

@editsbyjenny

@bubblegumholland

@hollandinq

@lordofthunderthr

@hgacutan

@colored-confetti

@legendarydazekitten

@maya-t-13

@house-arya

@cutie1365

@buckysblondie

@clipopex-writing

@wifunozomi

@babebenhardy

@sadgirlhours247

@sweetdarlingholland

@taliarosej00

2K notes · View notes

steve0discusses · 4 years ago

Text

The Full Metal Alchemist Live Action Movie Part 8: Watch This Episode Covered in Butts be the Only One Not Flagged by Tumblr

Gonna be risky business and not only upload all of these caps the way I screenshot them--which has just SO MANY poorly CGI’d butts but also gonna do it on the Tumblr Drafts folder, which I have been assured works now.

I’m so worried about so many things, but considering all the fears I have about like...everything else in the world right now...I guess I’ll take a risk on tumblr.

Edit: I cannot believe that I had 8ish episodes of Kaiba’s tall dueling tower get flagged but not this movie. I just....wow I cannot.

So anyway, last we left off, General Hakuro stepped in and was like “Hi guys, you like my wily plans that no one in their right mind would have ever guessed???”

Yo remember this part of the anime? Where the bodies drop from the ceiling and it’s a hunk out of the final arc--it’s here. In this movie. This movie that can’t possibly afford to do that. Lets get some CGI animated bodies in here ASAP.

(see some texture regrets under the cut)

It’s like a Monet, as the Mean Girls say, because far away and shrinked to 500 pixels this looks kinda neat. They sort of look more like those slime ball that grow in the back of your throat rather than human bodies, but they still look pretty gross hanging up there.

But then.....we zoom in. Remember again that this was full screen on my computer, and at one point was on a freakin movie screen. This level of 3d...was on a movie theater screen.

The mind boggles. The mind boggles!

Like as you know, I am an artist, and I’ve dabbled in...basically everything in my pursuit to make a dollar...and I have taken about 2 years of classes in 3D art with Maya and all those. I’m not thaaat great at it--I’m much more an illustrator/painter--but I feel like I have that reference point. Can I just say--the model is...fine...you can do a lot with layers of bump maps so you don’t need a truly detailed model (not like they did that, because they didn’t do that, but I can figure that maybe they had an intention to do that and forgot?)

But, there’s no connection of the wires to bodies. They just kinda float? The bodies are also all the same shiny-ness? To the point that it looks like a copy paste? (I don’t think it is, the wires are slightly different on a few of them) There’s just not much in the way of a texture map or a bump map. It just...there’s also something missing from the skin.

Skin is actually kind of rough to render, so when I did it back in the day, I followed like a checklist to make sure I had all the layers and steps to make someone look...clammy. Some things are kinda translucent, they reflect light a different way...especially white skin like this wouldn’t be just...white like putty. Dunno if you ever saw a white person, but we got so many veins...there was so much potential to make something really gross and fleshy.

Instead we got silly putty. It’s fine. I’m fine.

So General Hakuro decides to just...kill everyone right now.

This makes no sense to me.

That means that the whole thing of Lust killing Hughes was completely unrelated to General Hakuro. All Hakuro needed was Shou Tucker, who has been in prison for...I assume months since Ed shipped him off. And Shou was only released today? Just now? Just now when Hughes was shot?

So this all just happened at the same time by accident?

I mean the General sent us to the wrong lab initially, so he didn’t actually want us to be here, and now that we are here, he’s going to set off an entire army as a reaction to three people walking in and going “oops”?

So, lets get a look at our army.

Oh it was so disappointing, this reveal. Not just the eyeball that has a bounce light coming from below the top lip there (how did that even happen???) but also when it opened it’s mouth, it had a flat animation of skin breaking--it wasn’t actually rendered 3d skin, it was like a jpg wrapped around it or something (or at least that was the illusion I got. That is fine for a video game or a TV show, but this is a movie. This is shot so that it can be displayed in a size bigger than your own house.

What happened to the animation team on this one? Not saying I can do better, cuz no, I can’t, that 3d chapter in my life was a while back, but I’m just one guy. This was an entire animation studio and they just...didn’t render 3d face ripping (which is their entire job, to work in 3d) and then they kinda just turned on the stock physics dynamics and dropped em instead of animating them.

The way they fell was like fish from a bucket--the same amount of speed, too. they all ragdolled like a 3D shooter, their rigs just hanging on for dear life (and yes, you could see the deforming happen on the joints of these models.) I’m fine with having a computer program render something out with a physics engine...but there is a balance.

You do have to still go in there and finangle it back because...real life is hella stupid. Real physics? So stupid. It was hilarious how nonthreatening it was, too because they’re like...the size of shrimps in that zoom out image. The scale is just so wild!

It was like one bored guy in a sound booth and they multiplied his voice three times. Golden. Absolutely golden.

So these guys stride over, all of them with the same amount of speed (leading me to think it was probably a recorded walk cycle they all share with slight alterations between all of em) and they kinda just...pile on eachother in a weird way.

I will give them this: I was happy to see something that wasn’t physics or procedural. They mo-capped and animated that part for sure. It had the touch of an artist’s hand. It was also a very funny way for Hakuro to die because this guy was on screen for like 5 minutes, and maybe 7 minutes of this whole movie.

Youknow...I think it really says a lot about your nude 3d models if they’re not disturbingly human enough to trigger the tumblr filter, youknow?

Anyway, Envy looks on.

And then Gluttony saves the city.

Meanwhile, they decide to bust out the fire effects and Mustang becomes the most useful person in this entire movie. Like honestly this movie was poorly named, because it should have just been “Mustang saves the FullMetal Alchemist’s Entire Ass.”

The next part seems like I forgot a cap, or maybe missed something. I swear to you, I did not.

First off, Al becomes fullmetal and makes this happen without an alchemy circle. The show doesn’t really care to talk about that though, it’s just a thing he can do now, and you’d only notice it if you were writing a Tumblr post about it.

I swear to you, Winry is just inside of Al and there is no explanation.

There is no explanation for this.

She was on the couch...why is she not on the couch? What?

And then when you think they might have a moment, Ed’s like.

Damn.

For reals what the hell was that entire scene except for a way for Ed to get his arm stitched back on in like 2 minutes?

Outside, Envy and Lust are just strolling around the back-alley of this red brick building we have seen used for this entire movie.

And like...it’s so funny to me because they weren’t trying to run or hide. It makes complete sense why they got shot. This is what happens when you just...walk away when the whole military guard wants to kill you.

Now lets go see how Hawkeye is faring.

Luckily, all of the ambling bodies have decided to walk slowly through this one weird grass section between extremely long buildings.

And Hawkeye tells everyone “You have to shoot their heads off” and I want you to look at that scene and tell me how many of those bodies still have heads.

Oh, all of them. Don’t worry about it.

Kinda hard to see, but Ed shows up to give Mustang a hand, which was fully unnecessary but we’ll get to that in a bit.

This movie is such a gem.

Ed goes big brain and realizes that Envy is still burned up, and thus is about to pass on.

And whatever, I’ll take it. It’s not like the movie has told us that they are made out of 1000000 lives, for all we know, in the movie universe, they really are only 4 lives. Like half a cat. Maybe Father only killed half a cat instead of an entire city.

Yugi Muto would be so freakin proud of Envy for how often this guy gets hit square in the chest with fire balls. It’s basically every scene where Envy and Mustang share screen time.

And don’t worry, I don’t think Envy died? But they sure made it look like he did, which I’m sure everyone everywhere was really happy to see, since Envy’s death was one of the climaxes of the whole series. Like people used to make these lists of “top 10 saddest anime deaths” and how many people had Envy on there? Like everyone? People freakin love Envy and they did him so much dirty in this movie.

Again I have no explanation for Winry.

So Mustang is like, Ed, you make sure Winry doesn’t biff it in that corner, and I’ll do my actual job over here on this side. And yo, he did.

And so then that’s it, Lust is dead, and now we have a Sorcerer’s stone.

Man it looks delicious, right?

I’d eat the hell out of that.

Anyway, we only have one more update and we’re done with this movie!

I know!

I know! They only have 10-15 minutes to resolve pretty much everything, and that’s assuming that the credits don’t take up a heap of that. Hell, I might only have 3 caps next episode if that’s all credits. I honestly don’t remember.

Anyway, hope y’all take it easy this February, here is a link for people who just got here to read these FMA recaps in Chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

#FMA #Fullmetal Alchemist #Fullmetal Alchemist Movie #recap #photo recap #ed elric #colonel mustang #hawkeye #al elric #Winry Rockbell #so much fire #so much almost there CG

8 notes · View notes

feminist-propaganda · 4 years ago

Text

The War - On Drugs

One of the things that pisses me off when it comes to drugs, is the idea that somehow they make people more peaceful.

Drugs tend to be associated with spirituality (LSD, marijuana) or parties (cocaine, MDMA). Not taking drugs is seen as something “fachist” or “intolerant”. All of the cool kids are doing it, only the stuck up ones are saying no.

Even though humans discovered a lot of psychotic substances by observing animals use them (such as the goats who were chewing on the coffee beans in Ethiopia ) it simply isn’t true that drug usage is a peaceful practise. Quite the opposite.

I want to talk about how historically drugs have been used to fuel war.

1. Snorting Cocaine in the Trenches

The very first factory that ever produced cocaine is located a couple of kilometers away from my house, in a town called Amstelveen.

In 1875, some coca plants were transferred from Brasil to Java, where they were cultivated by the locals under Dutch supervision. In 1900, the Nederlandsche Cocaïnefabriek was created and quickly became the biggest producer in Europe.

It’s only during the first World War though, that the Nederlandsche Cocaïnefabriek really made it’s mark on the pages of History. It sold cocaine to both sides (The Allies and the Germans). Soldiers were taught to cope with the atrocities they saw on the battlefield, the long marches and the rest of it all because they were using cocaine as an upper and opium as a downer.

In the period between the two Wars; some regulations were passed and manufacturing cocaine ceased to be so lucrative, as you could only sell it as a medical product. Fortunately for the Nederlandsche Cocaïnefabriek, during the Second World war, they were once again able to turn a profit by selling opiates to the German Army.

2. Walking to Russia on Ecstasy

During the Second World War, Hitler used methamphetamines to motivate his soliders and give them the energy they needed to walk 30 km a day. People have written at length about the engines and machinery that were developped during the Third Reich, but fail to mention or understand that twenty year old men would’ve probably not commited mass murder and genocide had they not been high on methamphetamines.

Don’t believe me? This is how Time magazine put it in January 2020:

“Few drugs have received a bigger stimulus from war. As Lester Grinspoon and Peter Hedblom wrote in their classic 1975 study The Speed Culture, “World War II probably gave the greatest impetus to date to legal medically authorized as well as illicit black market abuse of these pills on a worldwide scale.”

3. Murdering people on Hash

You might not be convinced that Drugs are the fuel of war and violence because I’ve only talked about the hard drugs, also known as the “party drugs”. How about Hash? The word “assassin” comes from a murder cult called the “Hashishin”. These people formed a group of killers in Northern Iran in the 11th century. The members of the group were offered hash and while they were high would enjoy sensual pleasures such as sex with young women and good food. When they came out of their transes, they would go on murdering expeditions where they were expected to kill specific people.

The secret group was very well organized in a hierarchy of five levels, and only the lowest level was tasked with killing individuals. The decision makers believed that it was better to kill a select number of people that had differing opinions or views than them rather than waging a war.

The killers belived that they were fighting a holy war. In reality, the leaders of the organization would receive commissions from third parties who would pay for the assassination they ordered. They were also great at extorting money, and used the threat of the “Hashishin” to convince their victimes of paying up.

But why do I care about this anyway? Can’t I just let users use whatever they want to? Why am I giving you this history lesson?

The reason I care is because we tend to think that men are violent, we use the phrase “boys will be boys” to illustrate our belief that we don’t think there’s anything we can do about this. It’s almost as if we think it’s intrinsic to their nature, that they have to let it out sometimes. We think it’s expected and we can’t be upset if they use violence to express themselves.

The idea that men are violent serves a very specific purpose. We don’t perpetuate it for nothing. It’s function is to justify Wars. We teach little boys to own guns and fight, we make videos games that are full of violence, then when they become teenage boys we give them beer and joints. By the time they are adults they’re transformed into violent, dangerous citizens.

Sending such a man off to war is easier than sending a man who is well read, who likes to paint and writes poetry about his emotions. How could such a man accept the War?

We perpetuate the idea that men are violent to justify War.

I disagree. Men are not intrinsically violent. During their childhoods, they are told to suppress their emotions, taught that emotions are dangerous, that their emotions make them less worthy of love, that their emotions are so undesirable that if they allow themselves to feel them; they might be excommunicated, that their own mothers might stop loving them.

Later in life, men start resorting to drugs to avoid feeling and dealing with their emotions. And we all know what the consequences of this behavior is. But hey, let me just share some numbers:

- In the UK, suicide is the second biggest cause for deaths in Men. According to one article on the BBC:

It’s the same in many other countries. Compared to women, men are three times more likely to die by suicide in Australia, 3.5 times more likely in the US and more than four times more likely in Russia and Argentina. WHO’s data show that nearly 40% of countries have more than 15 suicide deaths per 100,000 men; only 1.5% show a rate that high for women.

- Men are more likely to develop an addiction to the effects of alcohol. The Center for disease Control in the US reports:

Adult Men Drink More than Women

Almost 59% of adult men report drinking alcohol in the past 30 days compared with 47% of adult women.1

Men are almost two times more likely to binge drink than women.1-3 Approximately 22% of men report binge drinking and on average do so 5 times a month, consuming 8 drinks per binge.2

In 2019, 7% of men had an alcohol use disorder compared with 4% of women.4

-Men are also more likely to be homeless. According to the Demographic Data Project:

Homelessness in America is largely a gendered phenomenon. Men are the overwhelming majority individuals counted in the HUD-required annual Point-in-Time Count. They are also more likely than women to be unsheltered. Ending homelessness requires better understanding of the issues that cause so many men to become homeless, and the particular housing, employment, and services solutions that would best end their homelessness.

When will we stop romanticising drugs as something that makes us creative, friendly or funny and actually see them for what they are?

#drugs #violence #post traumatic stress disorder #toxic masculinity #feminism #war

4 notes · View notes

cynthiaandsamus · 4 years ago

Text

Game Blondes: Tekking101 One Piece Isekai Adventure!

“Hey I’m Blonde!”

“...I’m also Blonde.”

“AND WE’RE THE GAME BLONDES!!”

Game Blondes Logo by @game-overture

One Piece Isekai Setup created by Tekking101 and found here:

https://youtu.be/zHInvsopBtQ

“Wait this isn’t a video game.” Samus pouts.

“The show’s called “GAME Blondes” not Video Game Blondes, that means any game is fair… game!” Cynthia cackles. “And today we’re doing the One Piece Isekai Adventure Game created by Tekking101!”

“I don’t know who that is.”

“That’s fine!” The Champion nods. “We’re going to roll some dice to determine how and where we get sent into the One Piece world and what goal we have to achieve in order to come back to our own world. They’ve made some reference tables to show everything about our situation and we’re gonna make little stories based on them!”

“Okay, sounds simple enough.” Samus flicks one of the dice around. “So what’s first?”

“First the Isekai Fairy comes to take you away! As per the rules the Isekai Fairy is extremely attractive for some reason and is your ideal type of attractive person. For me they look like Dawn.”

“Okay that’s strange, I guess my fairy looks like Tifa.” Samus shrugged.

“Fair enough! Now the fairy lets you get hooked up with your starting gear!”

“You get to take what you’re wearing, plus two sets of clothing and one free set of winter clothing in case you end up somewhere cold, though they have to be extremely unfashionable.”

“That seems unnecessary but given I’m weak to the cold I’d better take it.”

“You get a backpack to carry this stuff in and also arrive in perfect health, get 1 million starting beli ($9,500) and one object of your choosing.” Cynthia read down the list. ��So you gotta choose something to take with you, it’s one thing and most kinds of electronics and stuff won’t work. Though pets are allowed.”

“Guess I’ll take my arm cannon since I don’t think my whole suit would fly here, and the basic laser of the arm cannon works off my own energy instead of external missiles or power sources.”

“And I’m taking Garchomp, if pets count that must mean pokemon do too!”

“But if Garchomp is one object doesn’t that mean you can’t take its pokeball?”

“… fuck, so I gotta walk around the One Piece world with a giant sand shark following me everywhere… well they’ve seen worse so I guess it’s fine, it’ll work for the intimidation factor at least and keep people off my back.”

-Cynthia’s Inventoy-

1 Million Beli, Large Backpack, Champion Coat Outfit, Summer Blouse Outfit, Hideous Plaid Winter Clothes, Garchomp

-Samus’s Inventory-

1 Million Beli, Large Backpack, Zero Suit, Workout Clothes, Neon Pink Winter Clothes, Arm Cannon

“Okay so we’re ready to go, got our starting gear, we’ll get a bonus item once we arrive but first we have to decide where we arrive at.”

“Fuck, the One Piece world’s huge, how do we do that?” Samus blinked and tilted her head.

“More reference tables! We roll a die to determine the region we end up in and then another to determine the exact island, let’s check out those tables.”

Cynthia’s Result: 2

Samus’s Result: 6

“So I’m in the South Blue, the buttfuck nowhere of the One Piece world, and you’re in the New World, the hellish crime-littered frontier of the current storyline. We arrive at the same day the One Piece story starts so none of the events have happened yet but we do retain our knowledge of their events. Now to find the islands we’re going to!”

Cynthia’s Result: 5

“I’m in the Black Drum Kingdom, a snowy desolate area that Wapol will eventually come to rule after Luffy kicks him out of the Non-Black Drum Kingdom. For now I guess it’s up for sale though since he only becomes King of it by getting lots of money so I might have a shot at ruling it before he does.”

Samus’s Result: 11

“You land on Applenine Island, a land neighboring the country of Dressrosa ruled tyrannically by Donquixote Doflamingo. I don’t know much about it except the terrain and houses look like Apples but it’s probably a short hop over to Dressorosa if you feel like going over there and making some connections.”

“You said something about a bonus item once we arrived?”

“Yes! For this one we roll a D100 and get an extra potentially useful, potentially useless item to add to our inventory. Let’s see what we get!”

Cynthia’s Result: 38

“A fishing rod with line, tackle box and bait. Well I’m pretty good at fishing up Magikarp so that might come in handy, though I don’t know how good the fishing is on the Black Drum Kingdom, maybe ice-fishing or something…”

Samus’s Result: 42

“A bag with EXACTLY 37 green apples.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE APPLES!?” Samus pounded her hand on the table. “I get warped to appleburg with a bag of fucking apples!! Is this rigged!?”

“It’s all random I swear, the apples of chance just seem to favor you.”

“Ugh, I don’t know how I’ll put that to use… what’s next?”

“Well before we get our objective and figure out or paths in this world, we have to look at… the risk table!”

“You don’t have to roll it if you don’t want but you have a 50/50 shot of getting a fair boost or a horrendous hindrance to your goal.”

“Ehh fine why not, there’s no apple-related choices so what’s the worst that could happen.”

Samus’s Result: 7

“A Yonkou wants you dead.”

“FUCK.”

Cynthia’s Result: 2

“And I get to bring a family member or friend! Considering most of my family are either young or elderly and I’ve already counted pokemon as pets for the sake of this game, I’ll bring a friend! You’re already having your own adventure so I guess I’ll pick Zebes, never know when a Tentacle Metroid might come in handy around here.”

“Which Yonkou wants me dead? Like if it’s Shanks I may be able to get away from that but if it’s Kaidou like Doflamingo works for him and he’s right fucking next door.”

“Let’s roll another dice to see! There’s no reference table for this one but considering it’s pre-timeskip we’ll go with 1 is Whitebeard, 2 is Kaido, 3 is Big Mom and 4 is Shanks.”

Samus’s Result: 4

“And it’s Shanks.”

“…okay, still not great but Shanks has a small crew and doesn’t seem to personally go out hunting a lot so I might be alright.” Samus breathed a small sigh of relief.

“And now last but not least the Objective Table! This will be your goal to achieve so you can get sent back to your own world and consider the challenge successful.”

Cynthia’s Result: 7

“I have to meet a Straw Hat, specifically meet a Straw Hat while they’re on the crew. That’s not going to be easy, I know where they’ll be but they never come to the South Blue so I’ll have to go out and find them/intercept them somewhere along their journey, meaning I’ll have to go out and find my way into the grand line, this might be tricky…”

Samus’s Result: 2

“I have to Walk on a Sky Island? I mean I guess there’s a lot harder goals out there but I don’t know where the nearest place to find one would be.”

“Okay, the stakes are set, let’s make our Isekai Stories!!”

Cynthia arrives in the South Blue in the Black Drum Kingdom, with a bit of money to her name, some clothes, a Garchomp and a tentacle blob. Needless to say the townspeople are all terrified of the woman that wears hideous plaid snowgear and controls strange creatures to do her bidding but with her trusty fishing rod and the hunting of her two partners she’s able to gather some supplies, some semi-frozen fish and a few other trinkets and uses some of her money (as well as some she earns by selling some of the fresh caught fish, doing tricks with Zebes and Garchomp as a street show and various odd jobs the team of three can do for the townspeople that aren’t scared stiff of her) to book passage on a sailing ship, the goal in her mind of meeting one of the straw hat crew.

By the time she makes it to the last island in the South before the Grand Line, working up the money and supplies as well as travel has taken her over a month and murmurs of Luffy’s first bounty arise. The exact timeline is sketchy but he seems to have already beaten Arlong and is heading for the Grand Line. Judging by the timeline and how difficult it seems to buy passage on a ship heading towards the Grand Line, she’s a little bit behind Luffy and will have to find a place to make up some time.

Luckily thanks to her One Piece knowledge she knows the Straw Hats do make a few detours coming into the Grand Line, and where they’ll be spending a lot of time: Alabasta. Using the remainder of her money and some intimidation thanks to her dragon friend, she is able to buy her way onto a ship running supplies into the desert country. They have an eternal pose pointing to Alabasta and as long as the trio catch lots of fish for the crew to eat, they’re welcome to stay on until they meet their destination.

Making a straight shot from the South Blue up Reverse Mountain and to Alabasta takes a good while but Cynthia, Garchomp and Zebes arrive in the desert country where the two creatures feel right at home and Cynthia has just enough money left over from fishing that she can buy herself a desert dancer girl outfit and a horse to make it to Rainbase, the luxurious casino town where Warlord Sir Crocodile is stationed and where the Straw Hats will arrive eventually.

Cynthia stakes out the casino day and night, getting a small part time job as a waitress there to keep an eye on things until the Straw Hats inevitably arrive, assured that none of her prior actions have changed the One Piece timeline and altered the Straw Hat pirates’ path. Eventually she hears the uproar of Luffy making a scene, screaming that he will kick Crocodile’s ass. She heads over to the commotion to jump in, and just misses Luffy running past, though she collides with an equally scantily-clad dancer girl: Nami.

“Hey, I’m Cynthia.” She gives a sly wink as her face is buried in the desert-clad navigator’s chest.

And thus her mission is complete in more ways than one.

“So you buy your way into a slutty waitress job and dive into Nami’s cleavage to win?”

“I mean luckily we don’t have very combat-oriented goals here so it’s probably mostly buying our way from place to place.

“Well I guess I’ll have to see what I can come up with…”

Samus enters the New World on Applenine Island, carrying a back of apples and her arm cannon while wearing her zero suit. Far from able to just do things on her own or in a group like Cynthia, Samus has also somehow incurred the wrath of Red-Haired Shanks, one of the Yonkou that rules the New World. Acting quickly, Samus uses some of her starting money to book passage to Dressrosa, led by Warlord Donquixote Doflamingo. She allows herself to be captured by them while sneaking into the castle of the Young Lord Doflamingo, claiming that Shanks wants her dead and the best place to protect herself is under the wing of another Yonkou, Doflamingo’s Master: Kaido of the Hundred Beasts.

Intrigued by her strange weapon and the idea that the mild-mannered Shanks wants this random woman dead, Doflamingo keeps her around but fails to see why he should bring her to Kaido. Thinking of a scheme, Samus tells him a quick lie: the reason why Shanks wants her dead is because she knows the location of the Ancient Weapon Pluton, it’s location? A sky Island.

Little is known about the Sky Islands by the surface dwellers but Doflamingo is in the know enough to at least confirm their existence and the legitimacy of the usually mild-mannered Shanks wanting her head combined with a few other predications she makes about the rise of Straw Hat Luffy and certain other world events lay credence to her claims, Doflamingo starts to believe there may really be an Ancient Weapon hidden among the clouds where no one else can see.

Having already been in talks with Kaido thanks to the Smile Devil Fruit trade, Doflamingo sweetens the deal by offering Kaido the woman that knows more than she lets on, the enemy of Shanks and supposedly the keeper of an Ancient Weapon. More than happy with this and her seeming ability to predict the future as more months pass, Samus is taken to Onigashima on Wano to forcefully become a member of Kaido’s crew. He doesn’t seem ready to embark to the Sky Island just yet but he finds the insight and story she tells to be rather interesting, until one thing seals the deal: Shanks arrives at Onigashima’s gate to demand to kill Samus.

Fascinated by the fact that Shanks would show up in person and risk clashing with another Yonkou just to kill this woman, Kaido decides that her story must be true. Having already thrown himself off a Sky Island or two for kicks, Kaido decides to take her to the nearest one: the Balloon Terminal not far from Wano in the New World. The Beast Pirates decide not to fight Shanks right away, opting to make a break for it and destroy Shanks’s fleet with ease once they have Pluton as not to rack of casualties. Kaido personally leads Samus to the Balloon Terminal under the promise that she’ll be able to pinpoint Pluton’s location once she arrives In the sky.

Shanks gives chase, sinking may of Kaido’s ship in his oddly single-minded approach to killing Samus. Eventually he makes his way to Kaido’s flagship and a clash between the giant dragon god of Wano and the Red-Haired powerhouse begins. The sky splits above them and both incur injuries, Kaido taking heavy damage and eventually retreating, using his Dragon Devil Fruit to fly Samus high into the air, up to the clouds and screaming that he’ll come back down for Shanks once he has Pluton.

“Who said anything about Pluton?” Shanks asks, but too late to reach Kaido’s ears.

Kaido lands on the Sky Island of the Balloon Terminal and lets Samus off his back, transforming back into a human and demanding that the bounty hunter tell him where Pluton is NOW so he can go back and crush Shanks.

However as soon as her feet touch the cloud-like ground of the Sky Island Samus’s goal is complete and a wry smirk crosses her lips. “Goodbye, and by the way, I hate Dragons. Have an Apple” She says, tossing an apple to him as she disappears back to her own world, the great dragon emperor realizing all too late that he’s been duped and is at war with a fellow emperor, wounded and stuck on a floating cloud feeling much like the lost balloons stuck under it.

“Well that was fun, got to con a Yonkou and ride a giant dragon demon thing.” Samus smirked, fiddling with the dice. “That was a lot more enjoyable than I thought it’d be.”

“See? Told you it’d be fun! Well now that we’ve got everything sorted out and our One Piece Isekai Adventures are complete, guess we’ll see you…”

“Next time on Game Blondes!!!”

#Game Blondes #Tekking101 #One Piece #Isekai #Game #fanfiction #Game Grumps #Let's Play

7 notes · View notes