#just take me out back atp
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how the fuck do i get a job when every stupid ass little novelty shop in downtown requires "one year retail experience 😻 and a PASSION for retail 😻😻😻" sorry but i think selling candles to 80 year olds shouldn't require a GED/high school diploma and a year's worth of work experience
#ALSO I HAVE WORK EXPERIENCE#and still not even a single interview#and all of the places that my experience is tailored to (ie restaurants and pet stores) aren't hiring#just take me out back atp#zelle.txt
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I don’t understand why Kishimoto never added Kakashi having thoughts about Gai when he died in the pain assault. It’s like he doesn’t want his relationship with Gai to have depth but then adds all these interactions and feelings that show how much he means to Kakashi.
He thinks of his dead friends and family, he thinks of Konoha 11, but he doesn’t think about his longest and biggest support? Not even a passing thought?
Might Gai is Kakashi’s best friend and rival, he isn’t a nuisance to him and he doesn’t think he’s less than him. Their relationship has substance and evidence to show how much they care about one another, im sick of Kishimoto and his constant need to diminish it then prop it up and then diminish it again. How can he be so inconsistent with relationships and character writing??
#kakashi hatake#might guy#maito gai#pain arc#kakagai#not even shipping in this instance just their canon relationship atp#I get Kishimoto probably didn’t think that far ahead in the series because so much of their dynamic is explained later#it aggravates me that Gai’s support is constantly made minuscule in reference to others#Gai - the one who was their since he was 5 years old and immediately supported and cared for Kakashi#Gai - the one who Kakashi has leaned on so frequently that he’ll pass out after Gai arrives because he knows he’ll handle it#yeah I’m glad he showed appreciation for his support after the pain assault#but it still irks me real bad that his relationship w Gai is diminished#ESPECIALLY in favor to Obito who he wasn’t even truly best friends with and only carried his legacy out of guilt#Gai IS Kakashi’s true best friend and rival and I’m very happy it’s expanded on later#but it doesn’t take away how Kishimoto centers Obito as his best friend and biggest influence#I’m not taking away from his influence at all but I’m angry that everyone thinks Kakashi’s relationship w him is so deep#compared to Gai#I feel it always comes back to the fact that everyone thinks Gai is ugly and a joke#anti kishimoto
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guess which boyfailure just broke down crying in a culver's !!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
#💬 ⌗ 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 . . . ✧#so im . i have to makeup an online class session right#i have to be on a zoom from 7 pm to 9#and im like cool sure i can do that but i just got out of conditioning and the crew team is going to culvers for fundraising#and like... the zoom wont be that strict right. i can have my camera off probably haha#top ten words spoken before disaster i tell u wtf#girl pulls up to the zoom call#CALLS ATTENDANCE 4 TIMES#btw#atp im in the culvers line tryna order right. she then sets down some rules#camera on. microphone has to be working#okok rudimentary stuff i can work w that right.. haha no then she goes you cant talk or laugh keep ur full face in the frame and NORMALLY t#that kinda sturff wouldnt be a probelm but im over here at culvers being big backed yk so i go ok. no worries ill lock in#so i borrow my friends knockoff airpods and sneak a couple bites in of my cheese curds but like fast sneaky and hand over mouth type shit y#anyways the tags are probably gonna get cut off so ill wrap this up. i suffer through not being able to take a bite of my burger for a good#hour and 20 minutes and thne my phone just fucking dies. after all that#i had to like dodge my friends hands in the air i had to make sure no one was in my camera frame cause girl would regularly check too#that and my lack of sleep for the past three weeks just accumulate to me sobbing in culvers im so paatheicsdafjsdl
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also just something i think more people should be conscientious about on here: there are certain people who have gained a following making their entire blogs about saving and reposting other people’s art, gifs, analyses, etc without credit or acknowledgement. it’s usually very easy to tell whether someone is posting their own work or not. i strongly encourage everyone to stop supporting that kind of behavior and stop engaging with clearly plagiarized posts. just a little critical thinking before hitting like/reblog is not too much to ask i think
#i’m certain i’ve been guilty of engaging with stolen art/posts before i’m not condemning people who do#i always go back and delete if i find out about it later though#but just. be aware if you can. critical thinking is never a bad thing#honestly anyone is welcome to use my gifs for their posts as long as you give me credit that’s perfectly fine i love it tbh#but if you just take and repost my gifs without even acknowledging that they’re not yours? i’m blocking you. i’m just tired of it atp#beets posts
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Alex Claremont Diaz core is getting a B on a paper and being too embarrassed to go into class the next day.
It’s me… I’m Alex Claremont Diaz core 😞
#no but seriously I feel like a failure#I’ve had this prof four times and I still can’t get anything over a B#just take me out back like old yeller atp#alex claremont diaz#rwrb#rwrb fandom#red white and royal blue#rwrb movie#rwrb book#college struggles
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🎤 thoughts: is it normal for friends to kind of ~disappear after getting together with someone and is it normal to feel sad about it
#ive been wondering this for a while bc one of my super close friends has been dating this girl for like 4 months atp#and since then i think our communication has gone down by a lot ajsbsf#for context this guy is rlly good friends with me and my bf!! he and my bf go waay back since they were 5 😭#and he and i trauma bonded in hs LOL which is why we're so close#he's at the level of like. he could be my maid of honour in my wedding 😭 like i would put him there along w my bsf#bc next to my bf i think they're the next 2 people who know me best 😭 but my bf also wants him as a groomsman 😭#and i think ive honestly witnessed him at the lowest points of his life hsbfsdf#there was one time we came from a night out with friends and when he dropped me home he had to park outside my house for a bit#bc he was having a full on breakdown and didn't want to go home yet 😭#i think ive witnessed him at many stages of his life basically sdfbsjdf#and i mean im not rlly taking it personally that he isnt talking to us as much cos i respect the whole new relationship phase#i also wouldnt want to cause problems or make his girl see me as a threat or smth 😭 so taking a step back a bit was a given#but my bf is fr getting sad abt it and honestly i am too a lil bit 😭 cos where is our friend 😭#i talked so much again#anyway what are some thoughts on this im curious#maybe im also just overreacting
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With the results of the second poll now in, let’s take a blast from the past!
I also finally added Pierce The Veil after people mentioned them during the last two polls
Please feel free to reblog to spread around! If you do reblog, feel free to explain why you picked the album you picked in the tags! And feel free to add any band or artist I may have not put!
#i’m just having fun with the polls atp haha#i may make some graphs with data in the future tho#my chemical romance#mcr#my chem#the used#fall out boy#fob#paramore#bring me the horizon#bmth#taking back sunday#tbs#panic! at the disco#p!atd#pierce the veil#ptv#sleeping with sirens#sws#waterparks
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In my heart of hearts JJR takes place somewhere in the late 2000s and SIH takes place in the early 2010s
#junjou romantica#sekaiichi hatsukoi#im sorry i know its all supposed to take place 'now' for manga serialization reasons or whatever#but i dont have access to either manga and tbh it just feels right to me#like their flip phones in the anime and the clothes#like misakis stupid layering habit and his love of capris and flood pants is very 2000s#ive been writing and im looking up 2010s fashion and reminding myself of the horrors#ritsuko was definitely a peter pan collar tan suede shoes hair ribbon high ponytail skater skirt girl#you know#also didnt someone figure out that most of sih happens during junjous timeskip#so misaki isnt much younger than ritsu i think#also! the cab ritsu uses to get back to the office after picking up a manuscript. wtf is a cab after 2017. its def 2012 atp
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i forgor to post about this because i've been so sleepy lately but i've got a steel ball run server set up, if you're interested feel free to dm me (you have to be 18+ and willing to show proof of age though!) also don't reblog this post LOL it's not meant to be a promo! im just speaking into the void and i'd rather have people slowly trickle in for a bit instead of immediately putting out a public link. originally i was going to wait until confirmation but idk, i figure why not get one put together beforehand, god knows how long it'll be before anything is confirmed 💀
#i took my old server and revamped it LOL so basically i'm just reopening the old one#except this time it's SBR specific bc. tbh. i'm less of a JJBA fan and more just a SBR fan atp#but if you wanna come hang out and talk abt yeehaws then i'd love to have you there#friendly reminder i'm slow at getting to dm's though so if you do send me a message pls be patient#i'm also inviting people on my own via dm's but again i'm doing it very slowly#so if you expressed interest in coming back and haven't heard from me yet pls don't take it personally!!!
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sorry for not doing shit on here i genuinely think the stress is starting to physically harm me pretty bad i’m fucking sick all the time
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I'm not gonna be responding to these anymore, I don't want to have to think about this rn, but I'm keeping the posts up
#phandom#dp#this isnt me backing down im just taking a sick day and Do Not need this rn#actually disgusting that this many people in our community is just. openly okay with this#and theyre turning it on me. as if im the one glorifying it wtf#not allowing asks on main#i really dont want to associate with this fandom anymore. any hope i had for it not being that bad is lost on me#and i hate drama and negativity and i feel like im fsrming that by responding to so many of these#i deleted a lot of other responses i was too tiref to deal with but still#might just block phandom tags altogether. i just dont know atp#ive had literally only two sane people respond out of the dozen unhinged messages#and that just doesnt feel good at all honesty. like what happened#sorry if this is overdramatic in anyway. i originally just dropped a post i thought no one would see#cause viewing this content after having blocked tags was disturbing to me#and a lot of people saw it. and a majority of those people were very outwardly okay w this#i dont gaf if its fiction. if you fantasize about that sort of thing youre disgusting and i wsnt nothing to do with you. end of story#tw pompuspep#tw
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I'M FREE
#ramblings#there was no comment abt me needing to brush/ floss more ??? i was really anticipating one ???????#the hygienist DID suggest i spend more time brushing my front teeth but thats not like. a blunt `brush more`. LOL#my mom ended up coming back with me (didnt expect her to offer i just wanted someone to be there for the check-in b4 going back)#so that was nice :) didnt feel as awkward since shed join in on conversation with the hygienist#also yet another appt where they tell me i should consider getting my wisdom teeth pulled bc they might present issues in the future#`if/when your bottom ones come in they might start pinching your cheeks` i already have a problem where if i chew without thinking#i will fucking gash the insides of my cheeks on accident. this is not a new issue for me /silly#theres trouble with the insurance LOL so if we do decide to get them pulled itll be a while longer#idek if my bottom wisdom teeth r gonna come in atp im gonna be so real. i mean theres still the chance they could but like#theyve been so slow. these fuckers started coming in when i was 17 surely they arent gonna take like. 3 years to erupt fully.#like this has to be it. ig i might be proven wrong idfk. i dont rlly wanna get them removed LOL#i like to think im good at being able to brsh them. i keep on top of the two crooked teeth i have pretty well in spite of the. forgetting#to brush my teeth at all sometimes#ok sorry for the notes ramble i just want this all out in one go. the rambling abt going to the dentist ends here
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i think ive finally hit that point where ive accepted that i need to Allow myself to enjoy genshin more casually otherwise it wont be long before i stop enjoying it altogether
#personal#its taken so long bc when i started the game i skipped through a lot of sidequests just to get the rewards/whatever they unlock#and later on i regretted it bc i was retroactively interested in lore and there was nothing left to do so wished id taken my time w those#and its rly that same reason i held off on doing a ton of content these past few months#telling myself i shouldnt do them until i had the time and attention span to rly absorb everything#but its rly time i let myself just go for it and enjoy what i Want to enjoy and not dwell too much on what i need to skip to achieve that#not just bc i dont think i'll ever go back to being as hyperfixated on genshin as ive been before (and therefore wont regret it)#but also because i dont really... want to#im at a slowly turning point in my life where i want to do other things with it too#and if i want to make room for those other things#i have to accept that i'll never again be one of those players who take the time to fully consume 100% of the content this game puts out#and thats Good#and i wish id realized sooner skgkslg#i rly have a bad tendency to put arbitrary restrictions on myself and forget why i put them there in the first place#like i played sm of totk with a 'no teleporting' rule bc i wanted to rly gove myself an excuse to explore#and it wasnt until recently that i realized id gotten to a point where it was taking away from my enjoyment more than adding to it#and so that it was ok to just discard that rule atp#i need to try being more conscious of that in general bc im realizing its hindering me in weird places irl too
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had beef with one of my coworkers today 😍
#— ai rambles#imagine what kind of an asshole you have to be to make me mad lmao#anyway at first i thought she was just a slow worker yk and that’s ok!! but turns out she’s just fudgeling all day long and work keeps#piling up and it’s either me or my other coworkers that have to do HER job#i was absolutely furious today when the office was full and i had to work on two contracts at the same time#and asked her (super friendly btw) if she’s able to take care of one simple car sale contract#and she was like ‘well leave the docs there i’ll get to them once i finish this thing for tomorrow’#what is this thing — nobody knows 😍#and it’s for tomorrow???? while you have clients right now RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU 😍#and i snapped at her bc i also have appointments tomorrow i have to prepare for but priorities!! and common sense#people are here right now!!! waiting for you to spare 20 mins of ur precious time so they can stall their car 😍#sell *#half of the time i have no idea what she’s doing and working on tbh and we’re not a big office like usually everyone knows what each one of#us is working on but her tasks are always a mystery a myth if you will#not very proud of myself for my choice of wording things but i was so sick of it atp and she snapped back at me but took the clients#lmao so i feel fulfilled
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in my room, straight up sobbing, and by sobbibg…well..lets just say…. my art
#j’s misc shit#unironically hate all of it so bad.#2022: “yea lets shittily draw X character. i know its bad but i enjoy it!”#2024: “im going to commit several arsons. several felonies. disappear into the woods for 5 months and then maybe by a slight chance ill-#be able to combat art block”#its becoming a real issue.#i want to take a break bc i know im gonna burn out if im not already#but what if i never come back to drawing and accidently give up. what do i do then?#kill myself???#maybe one day ill be able to go 24 hours without thinking abt drawing without worrying#def not any time soon tho!#ive been reminded that this acc exists. and i just generally dont want this in my main#istg idk what to do anymore. can someone like. idk. give me hard drugs.#only so i can hallucinate and have some creativity and draw what i seen#thats a joke by the way. i cant draw sounds.#do i hate my art if myself more. who fucking knows! who fucking cares!#((oh god im gonna die alone and in vain i was so right))#cough. anyways.#lopt im making you kill yourself because its you or me atp.
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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