#just survive today and tomorrow lmao

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

How are you doing? I'm starting to wonder if every couple of days you'll escalate your medical issues and be in a coma

RIGHT

Turns out when I fell down the stairs, I bruised my ribs. I didn't know that kind of pain can take a day to buffer before hitting... So that was a learning experience.

BUT, my astrology, buddhist, and tarot friends all say I'm purging bad luck for a stellar 2025 so like...

I hope I don't have any more bad luck to let out...

[keeps-ache]

and we go right back at it !!

[dandyshucks]

trying to dangle a carrot in front of myself to get shit done that i don't want to do by telling myself that i can play GGG for the rest of the day if i just finish these tasks. it's working really well 😭

[immortalsins]

trying to get work done today is like. lets learn how to do inverse kinematics for my robot. whats the general form of the matrix again. does my mother deserve to suffer a period of me distancing myself from her. will i survive doing that. what order am i cascading these matrices in

[tenrose]

Finished Christmas shopping without buying one more book for me, success

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

[masquenoire]

Not all of Roman’s teeth are real. Having gotten into many fights over the years (not to mention being on the receiving end of Batman’s fists on more than one occasion), many of his teeth have gotten knocked out, forcing him to obtain crowns. They are near indistinguishable from his natural teeth, which are frequently deep-cleaned and whitened to maintain his signature skeletal smile.

[little-candy-store-of-horrors]

St George Did Not Kill Me (and I do not know why), St George Left But I'm Still Here or: 12 Years With Trauma 💀✌️🐲 Happy Year of the Dragon to me

((CW TRAUMADUMPING 🤡🤡🤡 SORRY))

[muletia]

𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 — [𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏] ⊹₊⟡⋆

[tfp] yandere!soundwave x human!reader

summary: you were meant to be just a bargaining chip for the decepticons, someone who could be easily discarded. but soundwave has other plans for you. (consider this snippet as a base for further stories.)

cw: obsessed!soundwave, kidnapping, isolation, stockholm syndrome?? not really but reader does have a soft spot for him, reader's pov, soundwave is fucking terrifying, this is just an excuse to write about soundwave interacting with you lmao

word count: 750

[part 2]

The automatic doors hissed open, announcing the arrival of the owner of these small quarters. You lifted your head from the tablet, wanting to confirm that your routine remained unbroken — that you would survive one more day. Seeing the familiar silhouette, you exhaled in relief. The same titan as always had returned. You’d live to see tomorrow.

“Hi,” you greeted, well aware you’d never receive a verbal response. The titan was fiercely silent.

He nodded, and that was the end of your “conversation.”

Your interactions hadn’t always been like this. They weren’t always this warm. Going from trembling in fear at just the sight of him to saying “good morning” of your own free will had taken some time. Not that you had much choice in terms of social interactions, which the reptilian part of your brain still craved. You’d only seen other members of his species once, on the day of your abduction. Accepting that this was now your life, indefinitely, hadn’t been easy, but after many months, you’d adjusted. Humans were made to adapt to new conditions, and you were no exception. The will to live had won.

You returned to reading an e-book on your tablet (a reward for good behavior) but quickly paused, noticing the robot had stopped at the desk, right by the small corner arranged just for you. You looked up—he seemed to be looking straight at you. Even with the screen covering his face, you could feel his optics on you.

He was enormous, terrifying, and the lack of human-like facial features, which you’d noticed on others, only heightened the fear factor. He looked like a xenomorph. But your alien was real. And he wanted something from you.

“What’s up?” you asked, uncertainly.

He moved his hand, slowly, calculatedly, and pointed at the tablet as if he genuinely cared about what you were doing, as if he cared about your existence. By now, you understood perfectly what he meant, having gone through this countless times when he returned to you after a few, sometimes several, hours of absence. This was your little ritual, a remnant of normalcy in a world where nothing was normal.

“I didn’t manage to read much,” you sighed. He tilted his head slightly. It was almost cute. Almost. “I just can’t concentrate today. I’m having kind of a rough day.”

It would certainly be better if you were spending your time at home, with family and friends, rather than as the pet of your captor, but of course, you couldn’t say that to him. Not when you’d worked so hard for the privilege of a tablet and your own little human corner.

“But it’s nothing big,” you continued, fearing he’d decide it was his fault. “Humans sometimes have days like this. Tomorrow should be better.”

He shook his head.

Did he not believe you? That was a terrifying thought, one with unpleasant consequences, and it sparked a flash of fear. Fortunately, that spark faded as quickly as it had appeared when an image popped up on his face — a silly meme of a cat holding a rose with hearts around it. You stared at the absurd sight for a moment, trying— and failing —to understand where, why, or how. Finally, you gave up. Laughter escaped you for the first time in a very, very long time. You knew you shouldn’t be laughing; this creature should never be a source of comfort, shouldn’t make you feel better by doing the bare minimum of showing you a silly meme made by some grandma.

But, unfortunately, he succeeded. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel so miserable, so pathetic and dull. You felt human.

“Okay, that was actually funny.”

The cat was replaced by a smiling face. His strange, flat hand moved toward you, but slowly, so as not to scare you. A slender finger stroked your head, gently, with silent affection, then slid down to your chin. It lingered there. The gesture was almost romantic as if performed by a lover rather than a giant, silent robot. The image on his face flickered, showing another picture—a heart.

There were so many things you didn’t know about this being. You didn’t know his motives or intentions, the reasons for his actions. You didn’t know what he was or what else he was capable of. But this intention was unmistakable.

Beneath his tenderness, beneath every gentle gesture, laid feelings for you. And that was more terrifying than unfamiliarity — because now you knew you’d never escape this place. You'd never escape him.

this is what he showed you btw:

[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 9 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader, Yoongi x Hoseok

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: alcohol, curses, Jungkook gets jealous, mentions of smoking cigarettes, explicit content: reader catches nabi and namjoon in the act, brat!OC, car blowjob, oral sex (male and female receiving), jerking off, praising, hickey, mouth fucking, nipple play, fingering, protected sex

☆word count: 11.2k

☆a/n: new week new chapter!! and with this one, half of the fic is done (only half LMAO). Hope you guys enjoy <3 and thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here!

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Sunday, March 10th 

Jungkook’s chest moves up as he takes a deep breath, disrupting your quiet comfort.

Your eyes slide open to reveal his phone, and he’s scrolling through reels on Instagram, the sound off. You nuzzle your face further into his chest, and he holds you tighter for a few seconds.

“I thought you’d fallen asleep,” he says, his voice rumbling in his chest against your ear.

You sigh. Though it’s late evening and driving home has been draining - the sex you had when you finished eating dinner even more so - you don’t quite want to fall asleep right now. Maybe because tomorrow you’ll wake up and you’ll have to go back to class, to face Ria and Nabi and all your friends that know yet don’t know that something is going on between you and Jungkook.

“I was almost asleep,” you admit. “But I don’t want to sleep yet.”

“Why not?”

His attention is solely on you now, his phone forgotten, and so you raise your head to meet his tender gaze.

“I want to spend more time with you,” you whisper.

His lips stretch in the softest smile, his eyes sparkling with all the light in the universe. “I’ll still be here tomorrow, peach.”

You know it. You know you still have weeks with him, but tonight you feel like the end might be coming for you quicker than you want it to.

“And the day after?” you tease.

His arm tightens around you, and he moves so that he can peck your lips once. “I’ll still be right here.”

“In your bed?” you ask, faking surprise.

He laughs, a sound so sweet and so intoxicating to your senses. “Yep. With you in it.”

“Damn, JK, you’ve got plans for us, mmh?”

He just grins in reply, and your heart flutters in your chest as you put your head back on his own chest.

“So if you want to fall asleep…” he trails off, hugging you tighter for a few seconds before pressing a kiss on the top of your head. “Feel free.”

You take a deep breath, nodding as you close your eyes, focusing on the steady beats of his heart. You wonder, does he know your heart has synced with his?

Does he know you’re afraid he’ll rip your beating heart from your chest?

You’ve been thinking. All day you’ve been thinking, and you haven’t been able to ask him. Haven’t been able to have the conversation he said you could have today - about his family, about the shitshow of the engagement party. 

All you’ve been able to do today is exchange pleasantries, stolen glances and holding hands. And you reckon, it should be enough.

Yet the reason why you can’t sleep is because you want to know. Need to know if he truly is set to marry someone else.

“By the way,” Jungkook lets out after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “Tae texted me while you were in the shower.”

“Mmh?” you hum.

“He wanted me to tell you to reply to his texts,” Jungkook concludes. “And you should, before he grows suspicious.”

“He’s suspicious because Jimin said we have something going on after you hosted your friends here the other day.”

“Right,” Jungkook says, and he chuckles lightly. “I mean, he isn’t wrong.”

He isn’t, and you hate that he isn’t. You don’t want Taehyung to know, you don’t want your brother to have the power to take this away from you. Not when you already know life will take it from you by itself.

“I still don’t want him to know,” you admit with a small voice. “He’d hate you.”

Jungkook presses a kiss on the top of your head again. “Then we don’t tell him. You decide.”

You don’t like that he’s giving you this power, but yet again it’s better than when he wanted to pretend nothing had happened after the power outage. It’s progress, steps in the right direction, but you don’t even know if you’re walking the same path as him.

Jungkook has been great to you, he really has, but you haven’t done relationships before.

Will this time around be any different?

“Okay,” you let out. You press a kiss on the warm skin of his chest, before resting your head on it again. “Besides…” you trail off, and your heart squeezes in your chest.

Because it’s time. You need to talk to him about what his mother said, no matter how much it might hurt.

“Besides?” Jungkook repeats.

“Your mother mentioned something to me yesterday,” you admit.

You hear his heartbeat picking up. “What did she say?”

You worry at your bottom lip, take a few deep breaths in to gather courage. “That you’re supposed to marry someone?”

Jungkook doesn’t reply right away. You’re pretty sure you also hear his heart entirely stopping in his chest, but you think that might be your imagination.

“That’s hilarious,” he deadpans a few seconds later, and he lets out a disbelieved chuckle. “I’m not going to marry anyone.”

You raise your head from his chest, seeking the truth in his gaze. And he doesn’t look like he’s lying, not even a little bit. Especially not as he cups your cheek, gently running his thumb on your skin. 

“She said she and your dad spoke to another family,” you explain.

He plays with his piercings, raising an eyebrow. “I’d assume that they mean Gabrielle?”

You’ve never heard that name before, and you offer him a confused look. 

“Or not,” he adds after a few seconds, his brow creasing.

“Who’s Gabrielle?” you ask, and the doubt that seeps through you tastes far too vile.

“A friend from high school,” Jungkook replies immediately. “No one to worry about. Our families were always friends and my parents are obsessed with her.”

It stings. It stings far more than it should - Jungkook’s parents didn’t even give you a chance. Yet they’re obsessed with this Gabrielle, this girl from Jungkook’s past. Your heart sinks in your chest, and you look away from him, unable to hold his gaze.

“Ah,” you flatly let out.

“I don’t talk to her anymore,” Jungkook quickly reassures you, forcing you to look at him again with his firm hold on your cheek. “Last news I had of her was that she was going to study somewhere in Europe.”

You worry at your bottom lip, and Jungkook is quick to pull it from your teeth with his thumb. 

“I promise,” he adds. “She’s nothing to worry about. My parents can’t force me to marry her anyway.”

You take a deep breath and then nod once. The ache in your chest barely eases, but you can see that Jungkook is trying his best. There’s something so endearing about it that you feel yourself soften, and you immediately lean in to kiss him.

The kiss is soft. The kiss is a fire in the hearth during a cold winter evening. It’s a warm summer breeze and a cup of tea on a rainy day. It’s comfort and that, more than anything, finally soothes the ache away. It helps that Jungkook swipes your bottom lip with his tongue, and you sigh as you give him access, your tongues tangling a second later.

Hell, you think you might be able to go for another round. But Jungkook pulls away, lips glistening from your ministrations.

“And about my family,” he says. His voice is breathy, and you feel powerful for the effect you have on him. Though he clears his throat, and the breathiness is gone when he adds, “They’re dicks. All of them. I’m sorry I put you through this.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” you reassure him, and you mean it. “I was mostly just taken aback.”

He nods, adding, “I don’t get along with them well. They wanted me to take over the family business with Junghyun, but I left to study here. My father has never forgiven me, and my mother hates me for the tattoos and piercings.”

You don’t know what to reply. You feel horrible for him, for the smiling boy in the frame on his bedside table. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay.” He smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I got used to it. I’ve found that your friends are your true family anyway.”

His friends. Taehyung. Your brother. The one thing that will make it so you and Jungkook can’t actually be together, ever.

“And now I’ve got you too so, who cares what my family thinks?”

You know he does. Somewhere in the depths of his eyes you see the kid that wished his family loved him, wished he fit in. You wonder how his mother could hate him - he was adorable, endearing with that wide bunny grin of his, even when he was just a kid.

“I guess no one cares,” you reply after a few seconds of silence.

He offers you a reassuring smile. “Told you so.” He pecks your lips again, and then nestles his head back against his pillow. “We should go to bed, it’s getting late.”

“I just have one last question,” you say as you lay your head back on his chest, your gaze directed towards the frame of him and Junghyun. “Who did you go to Disney with?”

Jungkook follows your line of gaze. “Oh.” The silence that follows is heavy, sad. “Our nanny. She practically raised us.”

That makes sense. You don’t think Jungkook would have turned out to be such a gentle, sweet person if he’d been raised by his parents. But then again, he does act like an asshole a lot, and projects that overly cocky and confident aura most of the time. You’ve only recently started seeing this soft part of him.

“She sounds like a great person,” you say.

Jungkook tightens his hold on you. “She was. The best, honestly.”

You smile sadly, your heart straining at the ache in his voice. “Was?”

“Yeah.” He sighs deeply. “She passed away last year.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

He shrugs, which proves to be awkward in this position. “It’s not your fault. Nothing to be sorry about.”

Silence falls in the room, and you hold Jungkook a little tighter. As if that will prevent him from breaking, from falling away from you in the inevitability of the future.

“I wish I’d been around then,” you add. “So that I could be there for you.”

“Peach…”

“I’m serious.”

You hear him sniffle, the only indication that he’s getting emotional. And it hits you like a brick to the face - you want to protect this man, at all costs. 

You never want Jungkook to feel sad.

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” he says after a few seconds. “Like… I’m really lucky.”

“And so am I,” you softly reply. “Luckiest girl in the world.”

He chuckles, his voice still raw with emotion when he says, “You know you’ll have to share a bed with me every night now, right?”

You raise your head to meet his gaze, and you don’t balk at the sight of the silver lining his eyes. “A dream come true, if I’m honest.”

He smiles, a sad, sad smile that makes you shift so that you’re lying next to him. You open your arms, and he immediately understands what you want, moving until he’s nestled in your embrace. You run a soothing hand on his back, not caring that he’s practically buried his face in your breasts. Especially not when, five minutes later, his breathing evens out, and he starts emitting those soft snores you find oh so adorable.

He’s left the red LED lights on, and you pat the bed behind him, looking for his phone. He whines against you, though he doesn’t say anything when you finally find his phone. You direct it towards his face to open it, and then search for the app to turn off the lights. 

Once the lights are off, you put his phone away, wrapping your arm around him again, holding him close.

You don’t let go, not even when you, too, fall asleep.

Friday, March 15th 

There’s something about Ria and tequila shots that you can’t quite understand. 

You’re at the girls’ dorm, getting ready for the party tonight. It’s hosted at a frat house, which means your shoes will most likely be ruined by the end of the evening. You don’t really care - you put on an old pair of sneakers that you use specifically for these types of occasions.

But yes, Ria and tequila create something you can’t comprehend. She’s already taken four shots, while you’re on your second and Nabi hesitantly took one, and you know she’s going to be wild tonight.

You think you know why - a certain Kim Seokjin is supposed to be in attendance, and though Ria claims she really doesn’t like him, she’s curled her hair and donned her makeup to perfection for the occasion.

And she’s also visibly trying to get shitfaced, and so you steal the tequila bottle from her hands.

“Hey!” she complains. “Give that back.”

You take a swig from the bottle, immediately regretting your decision. It makes your friends laugh though, and it distracts Ria long enough so that you can put the cap back on the bottle, and you hide it behind you where you’re sitting on the floor of their dorm, in between their beds.

“Is Namjoon going to be there?” you ask Nabi, trying to distract Ria further.

“Yeah, of course! Hobi and Yoongi also, apparently,” Nabi answers. “What about Jungkook?”

You’re happy you’re the type to flush red with alcohol, otherwise your two friends would have a visual proof of the embarrassment that comes with Jungkook being mentioned around you. It’s stupid - you’re an adult, but for some reason the thought of Jungkook makes you all giddy, like you have a school crush on him. 

It’s a feeling you’ve been clinging to this week, despite every odd against you two working out in the long term.

“I think so,” you reply, even though you know for a fact that the answer is yes and that he’s going to be driving you home.

He’s told you so in whispers against your skin last night, when he finished fucking your brains out.

“You think so, or you know?” Ria teases, a smirk on  her lips. “You can pretend we haven’t seen him obsessing over you every time we went to the library this week, but we’re not going to be fooled.”

They do have a point. Indeed, the two times you’ve gone to the library with the girls, Jungkook kept popping in, bringing you snacks or just coming in to chat for a little while. The girls found it funny, and you just found it embarrassing.

Not that Jeon Jungkook is embarrassing. It’s rather the fact that it’s led to thorough interrogations, and you don’t like talking about your relationship with him when he’s your brother’s best friend, and speaking to the wrong person could lead to Taehyung learning about everything.

So you’ve been trying to keep the relationship a secret as best as you can, giving vague answers to the girl and saying that you only went to New York with him because you’re friends, and Jimin wasn’t available to accompany him.

You hid the fact that he’s rich from everyone. Hid the Yves St-Laurent dress in the back of your closet, to only be looked upon whenever you need to remind yourself that the weekend wasn’t a creation of your brain.

So far, you didn’t need to be reminded. Not when Jungkook has been acting so affectionate, cooking you meals and sitting with you when you’re working on reports or studying for your classes. 

“Jungkook is not obsessed with me,” you drawl, even though you think he might be, to the extent that Jeon Jungkook can be obsessed with someone. “He’s just a good friend.”

“You fuck all your good friends?” Ria teases, wiggling her brows.

You punch her in the shoulder, and she bursts into a fit of giggles. “I’m not fucking him.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ria says.

“You’ve been glowy since last weekend,” Nabi points out, an innocent smile on display.

You fake-glare at her, but to your relief, a knock sounds at the door, effectively distracting your friends.

It’s Namjoon, as revealed when Ria opens the door, and he steps in with a six-pack of beer, offering you a polite nod as Nabi gets up to hug him. They share a quick kiss, and you fake-gag, earning you a loud laugh from Ria that makes Nabi turn beat red.

“Shut up,” Nabi grumbles through her teeth as she faces you again, and she pulls Namjoon by the hand to sit on her bed.

You remain on the floor with Ria, and she’s successfully stolen the tequila bottle again. She refills the empty shot glasses, handing one to Namjoon and one to you. She gives the last one to Nabi, and she raises the bottle for you all to clink glasses with her, and a second later, the alcohol is burning down your throat.

You’re effectively drunk by the time you make it to the party. Ria is worse than you, while Nabi remains almost sober from all the shots she dodged and handed her boyfriend instead. Namjoon’s cheeks are flushed red, much like yours, and you meet up with Yoongi and Hoseok, where they stand near the wall, faces downcast.

“Hey boys!” you greet them. 

You throw an arm around their shoulders, and Hoseok quickly moves away while Yoongi remains frozen in his spot, arms folded on his chest. It’s sobering, a little, and you furrow your brow as you look between them.

“Is something wrong?” you ask.

Hoseok quickly glances at the rest of your friends as they gather around you before saying, “No. How was pre-drink?”

You immediately know something is up. You feel it in the way Yoongi tenses under your arm, and though he hates being touched, he doesn’t push you away. You cock an eyebrow at Hoseok questioningly, but he only shrugs and then asks Namjoon, “Want to team up on beer pong?”

A moment later, they’re walking away, Nabi in tow, and you motion to Ria to follow them. She takes the cue, though the second she turns around, Kim Seokjin appears, and they stay right there, speaking in each other’s ear.

Once you’re convinced they won’t hear you, you let go of Yoongi, turning to face him. “Is something wrong?” you ask again.

He clenches his jaw, still avoiding your gaze. His arms tighten around him, and he looks like he’s trying to hold himself together, yet barely succeeds.

“Hobi just told me he’s switching colleges next semester.”

You widen your gaze. “What?”

Yoongi chuckles, but it’s entirely void of any joy. “You heard me right.”

“Why?”

Yoongi meets your gaze, his eyes flaming with barely disguised anger and hurt. “I don’t know.”

You wince, nose scrunching up. “I…”

“Don’t say anything,” Yoongi says before you’re able to finish your sentence, which is a good thing considering you had no idea what to say. “I should have seen it coming.”

“I’m sorry.”

Yoongi blinks away some tears, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know why you care. You were fucking him like a month ago.”

In truth, a month ago you were pretending the world didn’t exist with Jungkook, as it was the power outage, but you refrain from saying anything. You highly doubt that that’s what Yoongi needs to hear right now.

“Yeah, and I don’t think I should have,” you say.

“Why?” Yoongi asks, sounding offended.

You shrug. “Because you care about him and it was hurting you.”

Yoongi presses his lips in a thin line, nodding once. He doesn’t say anything else, and you don’t really expect him to. Not when Hoseok clearly just broke his heart.

“You know what you need?” you say, pulling his arms away from his chest so that you can hook arm with him.

“What?” Yoongi asks, following you as you pull him through the crowd.

“A drink.”

He chuckles. He doesn’t look quite as sad as he did a second ago, and you reckon that it’s a win. 

You make it your mission to cheer Yoongi up tonight, making sure he always has a drink in hand. You also stay by his side, playing beer pong with him when Ria begs you to play. She’s accompanied by Seokjin, who’s got far more aim than you do, but Yoongi is a decent player. It compensates for a while, until Hoseok appears in the vicinity of the table, and Yoongi tenses so much he looks like he’s turning to stone. You try to take over then, only to be solidly defeated by Seokjin who smiles at Ria as she high-fives him with a wide grin on her lips.

You’ve never seen her smiling so wide with a guy before, and you have to keep your own grin in at the sight, not wanting to upset Yoongi. Instead, you hook arm with him again, pulling him towards the backyard. He begrudgingly follows, though he visibly relaxes the second you’re outside, the cold air a stark contrast from the hot atmosphere inside.

“All good?” you ask.

“Why are you doing this?”

You shrug your shoulders. “You’re a friend,” you offer as an explanation. “The least I can do is be there for you right now.”

“Are we friends?” he queries. He sounds sad again, and you hate it.

“Of course we are! If we weren’t before, we are now.” You try to sound reassuring, and when you see the smile tickling the corner of his lips, you think it’s working. “If you want, we can go sit somewhere quiet upstairs to talk shit about Hobi.”

“Honestly, that sounds like a dream,” Yoongi agrees.

You laugh, and a second later you walk back into the house, Yoongi in tow. The first thing you see as you walk in is Jimin, and you instinctively scan the room, your eyes falling on Jungkook next. It’s like everyone disappears for a few seconds, and your lips stretch in a soft smile he immediately reciprocates, though it slightly falls when he sees Yoongi behind you.

You glance at Yoongi, and he raises his eyebrows in question. You motion towards Jungkook, leaning closer to Yoongi to say, “Just give me a second, I want to talk to my friend.”

He nods, and ends up following you as you walk towards Jungkook, who’s standing with Jimin, Sera, Lisa and some of their other friends you don’t remember the name of.

“Hey,” you greet everyone as you stop next to them.

Your fingers itch to touch Jungkook, but you clench your fist, refraining from doing so.

A chorus of heys reply to you, and you awkwardly stand there for a few seconds before they resume their conversation as if you haven’t interrupted. You feel bad for a few seconds until Jungkook leans in closer to you.

“Who’s that guy?” he asks.

You purse your lips, holding a laugh in. “A friend. He’s going through a breakup?” At least you think that’s the best way to refer to it. “I’m trying to be there for him.”

Jungkook’s gaze hardens as he clenches his jaw, a muscle feathering over his skin. There’s something infinitely attractive about the sight - and infinitely wrong about you to find it attractive to begin with - and you already can’t wait for the evening to end so that you can tangle in bed with him.

“A friend?” Jungkook repeats.

“Are you jealous?” you tease, and Jungkook sends a cautious glance around.

But no one is watching you besides Yoongi, and you know Yoongi would never say anything.

“Should I be?” Jungkook says, frowning slightly.

You wink at him. “Not at all. His breakup is with a guy so… I fear I’m lacking a certain part of my body for him to find me attractive.”

“Could be bi,” Jungkook points out.

“Could be.” You shrug, and then you gently brush your hand on the back of his. “I’ll come find you when it’s time to leave?”

He nods, glancing at Yoongi. You want to reach for him, to hold him close and reassure him that he’s got nothing to worry about, but Jimin is now watching again, so you only step away from Jungkook, re-establishing a safe distance between the two of you.

“Yeah, let me know when you want to go home,” Jungkook replies.

You smile, nodding once before wishing him a good evening. You feel his gaze burning on the back of your head as you walk away, Yoongi following you, and you can’t resist but look over your shoulder when you’re about to leave the room to head into the hall leading to the staircase. Your gazes connect despite the crowd, and your heartbeat picks up in your chest, butterflies swirling in your stomach.

“I’ll grab a beer before we go up,” Yoongi suggests, snapping you out of the moment.

You blink a few times, before nodding your head. “Good idea. I’ll take one too.”

You pit stop at the table where the drinks are, and you end up making gin and tonics since they’ve run out of beer. Yoongi complains he doesn’t like it, but you tell him alcohol is alcohol, to which he offers you a side-eye that has you burst out laughing.

A moment later you’re on your way up the stairs. To outside eyes, you wonder what it looks like - do people think you’re looking for a place to hide so that you can fuck? It’s a funny thought, and you laugh some more as you reach the second floor, and notice the four people sitting on the floor as they talk. They barely look at you as you walk in front of them, heading for a door at the end of the corridor.

Yoongi steps in front of you as you near the door, hand extended to open it. The doorknob turns and he pushes it open, only to be met by an all-too familiar high-pitched shriek. A look over Yoongi’s shoulder reveals Nabi, butt ass naked, sitting on the counter with Namjoon between her legs.

“Oh shit!” Yoongi lets out, yet he freezes, not closing the door.

“Oh my God,” you echo and Nabi flushes so deep red you think she’ll combust.

“Close the door, idiots,” Namjoon grits through his teeth.

Yoongi’s gaze widens, and he immediately slams the door shut. His cheeks are dusted with pink, and you exchange one glance that makes you burst out laughing, wheezing and blinking back tears. You’ve never seen Yoongi laughing like that, which only spurs you on more, until he grabs your hand and tugs you into a bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

“Holy shit,” Yoongi says once your laughter finally recedes.

You nod, wiping the tear that escaped the confines of your eyes. “I know, holy shit. I knew they were getting it on but I didn’t think Nabi would do it at a party.”

“Didn’t expect that of Joon either,” Yoongi admits, and he glances in the general direction of the bathroom. “He used to be such a nerd, and now he’s fucking a girl at a party.”

“Good for him,” you say, raising your glass. Yoongi doesn’t echo the sentiment, instead looking troubled. “What’s wrong?” you ask.

Yoongi shrugs, sliding down until he’s sitting on the floor, his back against the door. You follow him, sitting against a dresser while you wait for him to talk.

“I’m afraid that he might be jumping into a relationship too quickly after…” Yoongi trails off. “After Julia.”

Your brow creases for a few seconds until you figure, “His ex?”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah. They were together for a long time, and he loved her a lot,” Yoongi reveals.

Your heart squeezes in your chest. “You think Nabi might just be a rebound.”

“Listen,” Yoongi lets out. “I saw him during Frosh week. I saw him starting to want to go to parties last semester. I’m not saying it’s because of Nabi…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders again before taking a sip of his drink that makes him scrunch up his nose in disgust. “I don’t know why I grabbed that, it’s disgusting.”

“Hey, gin and tonics are good!”

He throws you a no-bullshit look, and then returns to the conversation at hand. “So yeah, he’s been different where Nabi is implied, but he was with Julia for five years. It’s bound to have had an impact on him.”

Yoongi isn’t wrong, and you hate that he isn’t. You don’t want Nabi to be set up for heartbreak.

“If he hurts Nabi…” you trail off.

Yoongi snorts, the smile he offers you a lot warmer than any you’ve ever seen on his features before. “You’re a good friend, aren’t you?”

You hold his gaze, shrugging your shoulders. “I try to be. I’d do anything for my friends.”

Yoongi raises his solo cup, his lips still curved upwards. “Then, I’m glad to count you as a friend.”

You clink glasses, taking a long sip from your gin and tonic that makes your head buzz even more than it already was. Silence reigns on the room for a moment, a comfortable silence that makes you look around, scanning your environment. Apart from the mattress on the floor and a few discarded pieces of clothing, the bedroom is empty. More clothes overflow from the closet though, as if whoever’s room this is just quickly shoved everything in there before the party.

“What about you?” Yoongi asks then.

You frown quizzically, facing him. “What about me?”

“Jungkook.”

Your throat goes dry, and you hide your blush behind a long sip of your drink. “What about him?”

“Hobi mentioned that something is going on between you guys?”

You’ll kill him. You’ll eviscerate Jeong Hoseok the moment you have the opportunity to.

“Not really,” you lie, though the lie weighs heavy on your shoulders.

Obviously, Yoongi sees right through you, saying, “I saw how you guys looked at each other earlier. You’re not fooling anyone.”

Your cheeks burn as you recall when you spoke to Jungkook. You didn’t feel like you were looking at him a certain way, but then again he has a tendency to steal your attention no matter where you are, so maybe Yoongi is onto something.

“I’m not trying to,” you say, taking a deep breath to chase away the lingering heaviness from the lie. “He’s my brother’s best friend.”

“Your brother, who’s conveniently on a semester abroad right now.”

You narrow your gaze at Yoongi, as if glaring at him. “It’s not convenient. I wish he’d never gone.”

This lie tastes even worse than the previous, and you chase its aftertaste with your drink.

“Right. And then you’d never have fucked his best friend.”

You close your eyes, rubbing a hand on your forehead. “It’s such a mess, Yoongi.”

He snorts in his red solo cup. “Why though?”

“Taehyung can’t know.”

“Why?” Yoongi asks again. “You’re adults.”

“Tae doesn’t think that way,” you admit, and a familiar annoyance flashes through you. “He’s always been overbearing. Like, when I was in highschool he scared all the guys away whenever they tried to speak to me.” Not that you would have dated any of them anyway, but Yoongi doesn’t need to know that. “It was annoying. And now, it’s even worse because JK’s his friend.”

“Or maybe he’ll trust his friend to treat you right, no?”

You wish it were that easy. You wish you lived in the utopia Yoongi’s composing right now, but you know reality to be far crueller than that. 

“Trust Jungkook?”

Yoongi winces, and you hate the drop of doubt it brings back to you. 

It’s the same doubt that had invaded you because of Colton, because of Lisa and Shelly. But then again, you’ve seen Jungkook last weekend. You were there all week with him: you want to believe he’s changed, and for the better.

But would Taehyung see that?

“Anyways,” you say before Yoongi’s able to add anything else. “We were supposed to talk shit about Hobi.”

Yoongi visibly deflates, his eyes dropping to his solo cup as he spins the liquid in it, watching it slosh around. “Yeah.”

“When did he tell you he’s switching colleges?” you ask, as gently as you can.

“Right before you guys got here.”

Damn. You’re friends with Hoseok too, you really are, but you reckon it’s selfish to do something like that to someone at a party when they can’t really do anything. It explains the awkwardness when you arrived though, and for some reason you’re happy you stuck to Yoongi’s side and not Hoseok’s.

You don’t think Hoseok would deserve someone comforting him right now.

“That’s dickish,” you say, and you mean it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s coming out of nowhere too,” Yoongi adds. He sighs, resting his head against the door. “He seemed to say that it was to follow a professor for an internship but still… It’s weird, no?”

“Where is he going?” you ask.

“He didn’t tell me. Just said that it was far.”

You wince. “Damn. I’m sorry.”

Yoongi shrugs, and he downs his glass, gagging after he’s swallowed. “This is really bad alcohol.”

It’s a bad attempt at switching subjects, and you offer Yoongi a small smile you hope is comforting. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve had better days,” Yoongi replies, and he sounds infinitely tired. “But thank you for trying to cheer me up tonight. I really appreciate it.”

Your smile is easy, warm this time. “Of course. Anytime.”

You end up staying in that small, impersonal bedroom for a while, the party long forgotten as you chat about everything and nothing. You hadn’t realized before, but you have more in common with Yoongi than you previously thought. You had similar circumstances growing up - that is, fathers leaving when you were too young to even remember them, and older brothers that tried to compensate.

Yoongi tells you about high school, about the first girl he dated. That’s how you learn that he’s bi, and not gay, and you beat yourself up mentally because now you feel like you’ve lied to Jungkook.

Not that it matters - Yoongi has the potential to be a good friend, but he’s not Jungkook.

You don’t know what to make of the thought, so you push it far, far back in your mind, until its whisper is easily ignorable.

“Shit,” Yoongi lets out a while later as he pulls his phone out of his pockets. “We’ve been in here for two hours.”

You widen your gaze, pulling your phone out as well. Your pulse skyrockets when you notice Jungkook tried to call you twice, leaving you a text that makes you hold in a small smile.

[11:46 pm] JK: where are you [11:46 pm] JK: :(

It’s almost thirty minutes later, but you immediately swipe your phone open to reply.

[12:12 am] You: just chilling with yoongi. wanna head home soon?

“I think I’ll go,” Yoongi says, and you look up from your phone to meet his gaze. “I’ve got lots of stuff to do tomorrow.”

You nod. “We should study together Sunday,” you reply as you both push up to your feet, stretching. “I have a lab report to finish.”

Yoongi agrees, and a second later you’re stepping out of the room. You earn a curious look from three girls sitting on the floor near the bathroom, and you offer them a tight-lipped smile as you pass them on your way to the stairs. 

The music is still loud when you get to the floor level, people dancing and indulging in alcohol and partying like only college kids know how to do. Part of you still wants to revel, to enjoy the night, but your break away from the party with Yoongi has tired you, and you want to head home.

And maybe part of you wants to head home because it means spending time with Jungkook, but you’d never admit it to anyone.

You hug Yoongi goodbye in the middle of the living room, and then you make your way to the kitchen, hoping to find Jungkook there. You don’t find him, but Ria, Seokjin, Namjoon and Nabi are there, and you inform them that Yoongi left.

“What were you guys doing?” Nabi asks, and you immediately know she’s inebriated by the slur in her speech. “Why were you trying to go to the bathroom?”

A slight blush covers Namjoon’s cheeks as you burst out laughing. “What were you guys doing in the bathroom, mmh?” you counter-back.

Ria bursts out laughing, and Seokjin holds in a laugh, his plump lips curving upwards at the corner as Nabi makes a sound you can’t quite interpret. It just makes you laugh, and she’s quick to follow with, “What about it?”

“Nothing,” you say, shrugging your shoulders innocently. “Just an image I’ll never be able to get out of my mind.”

“Gosh,” Namjoon lets out, and you all laugh again.

“Anyways, I was just cheering Yoongi up,” you say after that, and you’re aware it sounds a little suspicious when four pairs of eyes turn to look at you, eyebrows almost touching. “We talked, that’s it,” you add, raising your hands in defence. “Why are you guys looking at me like that?”

“Hobi got pissed when he learned you guys were hiding somewhere together and he dipped,” Ria reveals. “I think you made him jealous.”

“Oof.” You worry at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “Shit, I’m too sober for this.”

For this being lying to your friends, because you know damn well that Hoseok might indeed be jealous of you, but for spending time with Yoongi. Not the other way around. Your friends don’t know though, so you let Ria tug you to the bar, where the amount of alcohol has drastically diminished since the last time you were here.

You end up throwing back shots with your friend, and she inevitably tugs you on the dancefloor next, and you sway to the beat along with her for a while, until you once more feel buzzed with alcohol.

That’s where Jeon Jungkook finds you, arm carelessly wrapping around your shoulder as he pulls you in, startling you.

“Shit,” you say in his face.

“You don’t answer your phone, mmh?” he lets out.

You think you smell cigarette smoke on his breath, but you’re too drunk from his proximity to really be able to tell. He makes your thoughts swim after all, far too much for you to think about anything other than the fact that he’s close enough you could kiss him, here in the middle of a crowded room.

Would people cheer for you guys, or would you earn snickers? You think it’d be the latter option, considering that he’s Taehyung’s friend, but you don’t care.

“Hey you,” you purr, and he raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Hey,” he replies.

You can’t help the soft smile that overtakes your features, and he immediately melts, echoing it. 

“Want to head home?” you ask him.

Someone loudly clears their throat, and you jump out of Jungkook’s arms, cheeks turning fully red. Ria is watching with a wide grin, and she wiggles her eyebrows when you meet her gaze.

“Fuck off,” you tell her, your whole face burning, and she just laughs at your expense as you walk away, Jungkook in tow.

You make it all the way to the room where you’ve left your coat, grabbing it as Jungkook looks around for his, and you’re outside before he meets you, a confused look on his features.

“Are you mad at me?” he asks, his breath clouding in front of his face.

You watch as it lifts in the air slowly before vanishing in a gust of wind.

“What?” you let out. “No? Why would I be?”

“You ran out like I did something wrong,” he answers, motioning over his shoulder.

You melt. You melt like ice cream on a hot summer day, dripping to the floor with endearment for the man in front of you. 

“No, I ran because Ria always puts her nose in stuff she shouldn’t,” you say. You look around, fingers itching to reach for him, but people are smoking closer to the street, and you think you recognize some of his friends in the group.

“You were being obvious, peach,” Jungkook teases, and he winks at you, shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat as he walks down the three steps from the porch to the lawn. 

You catch up to him quickly as he heads towards the group, wishing everyone good night. Lisa stares at you as you stand next to Jungkook, and your cheeks heat up once more under that watchful gaze.

Luckily enough for you, Jungkook says his goodbyes quickly, and you’re walking away under a minute later, heading to where he parked his car.

“How come you’re always driving to parties now?” you ask Jungkook. “You could afford an Uber.”

He glances at you, shrugging sheepishly. “Then I wouldn’t have a reason to drive you home.”

“Please,” you let out, rolling your eyes. “We could grab an Uber home together. That way you’d be able to drink.”

He looks behind you, making sure you’re not in sight from the frat house anymore, and then he pulls one of his hands out of his coat, grabbing yours. His hand is warm, large, and it engulfs your own hand easily as he tugs you closer.

“You might hate me for this,” Jungkook starts, “but I promised your brother I’d make sure you’re okay during parties this semester.”

This time, you roll your eyes so far back that you think they might get stuck. “He did not ask that of you.”

“He did,” Jungkook insists.

“That’s bullshit.” You sigh loudly, slightly shaking your head. “Even when he’s gone he’s still annoying.”

Jungkook laughs, the sound like a warm blanket wrapped around you. “But yeah, he just asked me to make sure you’re okay, and I got used to not drinking as much at parties.”

“On behalf of Taehyung, I’m sorry.”

He tugs you even closer, and you trip on a crack in the sidewalk. He catches you before you fall, hands finding your waist to steady you. “Careful,” he says. “And don’t apologize, I really don’t mind.” 

You pout, but you fall silent, just enjoying the feel of Jungkook’s hand in yours. You reach his car a few minutes later and, ever so the gentleman, Jungkook holds the door open for you.

You cock an eyebrow, looking back at him with a small smile on your lips as you’re about to get in. “You only opened the door for me ‘cause you want to look at my ass, didn’t you?” you tease.

He laughs, loud and clear, before pushing you in. “Shut up, peach.”

A smile tickles the corner of your lips, like it permanently seems to do when it comes to Jungkook, and then you sit in the car. He shuts the door before making his way to the driver’s side, and a second later, he’s sliding in, offering you a smirk that makes your cheeks burn.

“What?” you let out.

“So what if I just want to look at your ass?” he says, turning the key in the engine. The car purrs to life as Jungkook adds, “You’ve got a really nice ass, especially in those pants.”

You feel all warm and tingly inside, and you roll your eyes as you look away from him. It only makes him chuckle, and then he starts driving, heading towards the home you share. The first minute is spent in silence, the music on the radio low, and you only realize that Jungkook has something on his mind when you glance at him to see him pulling on his piercings with his teeth.

“What’s wrong?” you immediately ask.

“You were with that guy for a long time,” he answers, and his eyes dart to you before returning to the street.

“Yoongi?” you say, though you obviously know that he means Yoongi. “Yeah, he’s a friend.”

“A friend?” Jungkook echoes. 

You hum, nodding your head. “He’s actually fucking Hobi so…”

Jungkook’s gaze widens, and he glances at you. “Hobi? Isn’t that the guy you were fucking?”

“He was,” you say, and you laugh at his expression, dead in the middle of jealousy and surprise. It’s a funny look on his features, though the second you laugh, it melts away, replaced by tender endearment. “He actually started fucking Yoongi during the power outage, and we ended things there.”

Jungkook doesn’t reply, but you see a muscle feathering under the skin of his jaw. He looks angry, and could he even be… jealous?

“Are you jealous?” you ask, unable to keep the amusement from your voice.

“I’m not,” Jungkook says, voice so stern you know for a fact that he definitely is jealous.

“You are!” you insist, and you burst out laughing. “Jeon Jungkook is jealous because I used to fuck someone else.”

“I’m not!” Jungkook repeats, louder this time. “I’m not fucking jealous.”

You smirk, eyes sparkling with mischief, and you pat his thigh. “Don’t worry. You’re the only one I want to fuck now.”

“Is that why you spent your evening locked up in a bedroom with some other guy?” he asks, and you hear the jealousy in his voice, clear as day this time. 

“Gosh, JK,” you say teasingly, and you turn towards him, fully facing him. “You’re so jealous.”

He pushes your hand away from where you’d left it on his thigh. “Fuck off.”

You widen your gaze, bursting out laughing a second later. And then, just to piss him off further, you lean closer to him, pressing a kiss on his cheek while your seatbelt tries to pull you back to your seat.

“You’re adorable.”

He makes a non-committal sound as you sit back in your seat, and you return your hand to his thigh, squeezing once. This time he lets you do it, parting his legs slightly so that his thigh is in easier reach for you.

You lean your head against the headrest, eyes searching his profile. He’s just toying with his piercings again, and he looks heavenly in the neon light of the streetlights, the orange glow painting him in a beautiful picture. You sigh, and he glances at you long enough for his eyes to meet yours.

You fall for him. You’ve already been falling for him, inevitably, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at you right now that makes you fall irreversibly.

“I want you,” you say, voice breathy.

Jungkook’s car comes to a halt at a red light, and he looks at you again. “Right now?”

You nod, and your hand finds his thigh again. “Shouldn’t I prove to you that you’ve got nothing to worry about?”

“I’m driving, peach.”

You shrug. “Then better keep your eyes on the road.”

Your words turned him on. You’d expected it, yet when you move your hand up, fingers grazing his dick, your throat dries out.

He’s already getting hard.

“You think you can drive while I suck your dick?”

“Peach,” Jungkook says sternly. “We’re almost home.”

“Just keep driving,” you innocently reply, batting your eyelashes.

He rolls his eyes, yet he goes forward when the light turns green instead of turning left like he was supposed to. You bite your lower lip, desire flushing through you as warmth pools at your core.

“You act so tough, but you folded so easily,” you tease, feeling brattier than you’ve ever felt with him.

Maybe because you’re starting to realize the power that you have over Jeon Jungkook, and it’s getting to your head.

“Don’t make me regret, peach,” he warns, voice low and gravelly.

You wet your lips, tilting your head to the side. “Or what?”

“Or I’m driving you home and not fucking you tonight.”

His threat falls flat - the second the words are out of his mouth you caress his length through his pants, and he instinctively bucks his hips.

“Careful,” you let out. “Wouldn’t want to get in an accident.”

He just clenches his jaw as you start working on the button of his jeans. He shifts, allowing you easier access, though it’s still awkward from the sitting position and his seatbelt. Soon enough you manage to get the button undone, and then you unzip his pants.

“Think someone’s going to see us?” you ask as you slide your hand in his pants, gripping his dick over the fabric of his boxers once.

He sits heavily in your hand, already fully hard, and your mouth waters. 

Jeon Jungkook has a lot of power over you, too.

“Not if I can find an empty parking lot,” he says, voice breathy when you stroke him. “Under the boxers, please.”

“Jeon Jungkook, saying please?” you tease, cocking an eyebrow. “I’ll get used to this.”

“Don’t.” His eyes flutter shut for a few seconds when you manage to slide your hand into his boxers, and you let out a breathy sound at the feeling of his soft skin.

“Shit, Jungkook.”

“Mmh?”

“You’re already so hard.”

He chuckles. “You turn me on a lot, peach.”

You like to hear it, so much so that you free his dick from his pants, as much as you possibly can from the angle. 

“Clearly,” you say as you eye the bead of precum forming on his slit. You swipe your thumb on it, smearing it on his tip. 

Jungkook’s grip tightens on the wheel, but he remains silent this time around as he pulls the car into a parking lot. Though it’s not fully empty, he heads to a dark corner, where the lone streetlight died so that he can quickly park the car as you slowly jerk him.

“I thought you’d drive around while I sucked you,” you tease, unbuckling your seat belt. 

His eyes are dark, dangerous, as he casts them on you. “I want to be able to appreciate every second of you choking on my dick, peach.”

You smirk, and you bend down, swirling your tongue around him once. “Yeah?”

He grunts as you suck on his tip, and he reclines his seat, pushing his pants down just enough to fully free his dick. “Yeah.”

You suck once again. “Good boy.”

His large hands find your hair as you swirl your tongue around him, and he pulls it back in a ponytail so that he can watch you work on him, though you’re keen on teasing him more than anything right now.

You want to see how a frustrated Jungkook fucks.

“Just for you,” he replies as you lightly suck his tip once more.

You move to the side, peppering open mouthed kisses all along his shaft, and then some more on his thigh. You suck a hickey there, a dark, purple mark, and Jungkook curses under his breath. 

“Stop teasing,” he says through gritted teeth as you lick the mark.

“Or what?”

You look up to meet his gaze as your tongue toys with his slit. His precum is salty in your mouth, and the frustration building up in his gaze turns your insides to pure lava.

You’re burning for him. Truly burning - you’ve caught fire and you don’t think it can be extinguished.

“Why are you such a brat?” he asks, though he doesn’t sound inquisitive. He rather sounds whiny, like he wants you to stop but some part of him is thrilled.

Or maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s you and your desire for him that’s clouding your mind, like it usually always does.

You go back to his dick, licking your way up and teasing his slit at the top. You then close your mouth around him, give him a tentative suck that makes him buck his hips. You want to pull away, to be more of a brat, but his large hand shifts to the back of your head to hold you in place. You whine, but then he slowly fucks up into your mouth, and it turns into a moan, your eyes watering when he hits the back of your throat.

“See,” he lets out breathlessly. “I know you can take me.”

If you weren’t gone before, you truly are now, and you abandon yourself to the desire you feel for him. You take the lead, bobbing your head up and down as you jerk him off too, making sure every inch of his dick is pleasured. He’s a grunting mess over you, his hand still fisting some of your hair, though he’s thrown his head back and isn’t watching anymore.

You go down, hollowing your cheeks around him, and then slowly come up. You’ve been sloppy, and your spit is a natural lube on his dick as you stop at the tip, swirling your tongue around him.

“Peach,” he says, voice low.

You let go of his dick, meeting his gaze. He looks at you through half-lidded eyes, his gaze dark with lust. 

“Mmh?” you let out.

“I really want you right now.”

You don’t need to be told more. You climb on top of him, careful not to press your ass on the honk of his car, and you kiss him rough, your teeth almost clashing as your mouths collide. Jungkook grunts against you, his hands immediately finding your hips, and you moan when he sucks on your bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth.

“Do you have condoms?” you ask as he moves to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses down the column of your throat.

You lose your hands in his hair as he sucks on the spot where your neck connects with your shoulder. And then he pauses, lifting an apologetic look to you.

“What?” 

“We used the condom last week,” he reminds you.

In New York.

You groan, hiding your face in his neck. “Are you saying we have to drive all the way home now?”

He wraps his arms around you, holding you close. “Or you finish me off here?” he suggests.

You throw him a stern look that makes him laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners. Your heart warms in your chest, chasing away the lust, and all you’re left with are the feelings that have been brewing in you for weeks, feelings you don’t dare name right now.

“Get back in your seat, I’ll drive us home.” 

You pout, and he pecks your lips once. You can’t help the soft smile that grows on your features, and you climb off from him, sitting back in the passenger seat.

A second later you’re pulling out in the street, Jungkook having put his pants back on, and he grabs your hand where it rests on your thigh as he drives. It’s intimate somehow, even more so intimate than you sucking his dick a second ago, and you spend the drive admiring him, wondering how it is that you got so lucky when it comes to him.

He opens the door for you once he’s parked the car near your apartment, and he shuts it behind you before grabbing your hand again, pulling you behind him as you walk home. He unlocks the front door, and then you’re in, engulfed by the gentle warmth of your apartment.

There’s a beat of silence as you exchange a look, the air filling with electricity. With the knowledge of what’s about to happen - your blood heats up in your veins, bringing back the arousal that had clouded the car just a few minutes ago.

“You know,” Jungkook lets out, and he takes a step closer to you, towering over you. “It was my first time getting sucked in my car.”

For some reason it surprises you. You didn’t think Jungkook had many firsts left, yet in a week you’ve done two of them with him.

“It was?”

He nods, and he grabs your jaw to tilt your head back, his grip gentle yet firm. “And you were so good to me, mmh?” You reckon you were a brat, and maybe you should remind him, but when he adds, “Should I be good to you now?”, you only nod. He laughs, saying, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

It’s all you have time to say before he’s crashing his lips on yours, and he swallows the breathy sound you instinctively let out. His hand falls to your waist, pulling you in, while yours do quick work of pushing his coat off his shoulders. He helps you by taking it off, and you both don’t care to put it in the closet, not when his tongue is in your mouth and he’s turning into the oxygen in your lungs. 

Taking off your shoes prove to be awkward, as you’re both reluctant to disconnect from the kiss, but it’s oh so worth it once you manage to free your feet from the shoes, and then Jungkook picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pushes you against the door.

You wrap your arms around his neck, sucking on his tongue when he pushes it in your mouth again, and he grunts, grinding into you.

“You make me insane,” he says against your mouth, and then he pulls away to suck another mark on your neck. 

You pull at his hair, and he retaliates by grinding his hips into yours again. “I really want you, Kook,” you say, the nickname slipping from your mouth.

Jungkook pulls back, just enough so that his gaze can meet yours. “What did you just call me?”

Though your heart is beating so loud you can barely hear your thoughts, you manage to recall, repeating, “Kook?”

“Say it again.” 

The intensity in his gaze is not one you can shield from, and you find yourself lacking any defiance. “Kook,” you repeat, softer this time.

“Shit, please always call me that.”

When his soft lips find yours again, you sigh, and he pulls away from the door to carry you to his room, his mouth barely disconnecting just long enough for him to focus on opening the door. He walks in, not bothering to kick the door shut, and he puts you down on his bed, his lips disconnecting just long enough for him to take off his shirt before he’s climbing over top of you, his mouth seeking yours.

You run your hands along his warm skin, appreciating the muscles in his back as he shifts, nails lightly grazing him. He grinds into you in retaliation, and you moan in his mouth, a sound he swallows like a starved man.

Jungkook kneels between your legs, and despite the fact that he didn’t turn the lights on, you still take a moment to admire him in the dim light filtering in from the windows. His big, doe eyes are narrowed softly, like he’s holding in a smile, and he gently runs a hand up your arm before pulling you to a sitting position.

He takes off your coat, eyes never leaving yours - like he’s lost in your gaze the same way that you’re lost in his - and then he takes care of your shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor. He plays with his piercings as he takes in the sight of your breasts, nipples perked.

“Not wearing a bra?” he teases, and he pinches one of your nipples.

You moan softly, and he pushes you back down so that he can bend and wrap his lips around your other nipple, tongue teasing at the sensitive bud.

“Is there something wrong with that?” you ask once he’s lifted your head from your breast.

“No. Just made me realize that I should have fucked you at the party.”

You bite your lower lip. “You should have.”

“Then everyone would know how good I make you feel, mmh?” he says, and then he starts going down your body, pressing kisses along the column of your neck, and then on your collarbone. Your breasts come next, and he takes his time worshipping them while you tug at his hair, just enough for him to grunt against you.

When he gets tired of your breasts, Jungkook moves lower, pressing gentle kisses on your abdomen, up until he reaches the band of your pants. He looks up then, meeting your gaze seeking consent, and you offer it to him with a nod of your head.

It doesn’t take him more to go lower, and he kisses your clit over your pants. You let out a breathy sound, and he kneels so that he can take off your pants, pulling your panties down at the same time. 

You’re dripping wet. You’ve been dripping wet since you sucked him in his car, and Jungkook watches your juices glistening as he pulls on his lip piercings. “Shit, peach. You’re fucking soaked.”

“I know,” you let out.

“So, so good to me,” he whispers to himself, and then he dives in, licking up from your entrance to your clit, where he swirls his tongue against the sensitive bud.

You become a moaning and writhing mess as he eats you out, as his tongue presses expert circles around your clit. He starts fingering you at the same time, scissoring motions fighting against your walls as they instinctively tighten around him, yet Jungkook doesn’t falter.

He never does. He never falters, is always good to you. It’s no wonder you start riding the wave towards an orgasm in no time, the pressure on your clit just enough to keep you on edge without pushing you over. You try to grind into his mouth, but he pushes you back down, one large hand on your stomach.

“Just let me please you, mmh?” he says against you.

“Jungkook…”

And then he truly goes in, his tongue flat against your clit as he moves his head from side to side, his fingers curling perfectly inside of you. The orgasm hits like a train, and your vision turns white as your walls pulse around his digits. 

Jungkook milks the orgasm out of you, making sure you’re truly spent before sitting back on his heels. You look at him through blissed, half-lidded eyes, and he palms himself over his pants, getting up to take off the rest of his clothes a few seconds later. He stands there for a time, his dick rock hard, and then he walks over to his night table to grab a condom. 

A moment later he’s back between your legs, rubbing his dick up and down your folds to collect your juice. 

“Ready?” he asks.

You’re still high from the orgasm, so you just nod your head once, eyes fluttering shut as he pushes inside of you and you let out a broken moan. He grips your waist, fingers ever so slightly pushing into the supple skin as he seats all of himself inside of you, and then he gives one thrust, pushing back out and then in in a swift motion.

“Peach,” he grunts, and his thumbs shift on your skin, like he’s caressing your sides.

“Mmh?” you let out.

He doesn’t move for a time, and your eyes slide open to meet his gaze. The intensity behind his pupils nearly undoes you, making you reach towards him until he lets go of your waist to grab your hand instead. He leans forward, holding your hand over your head, and then he steals a quick kiss on your lips.

“Let me know if I hurt you?” he says against your mouth.

You kiss him again for good measures, and then whisper, “Don’t worry, I can take it.”

“Fuck,” he curses, and then he starts fucking you, slowly yet deep, his dick infinitely hard inside of you.

He keeps at it for a time, his forehead resting against yours as he fucks you passionately, taking in the breathy sounds you make. Your free hand finds his waist, as if you can urge him to go faster, yet he resists, just keeping that same slow and steady beat. 

He lifts his head, pecks your forehead and then says, “Ready?”

“Yeah,” is all you have time to say before everything changes and he starts pounding into you unforgivingly. 

You hold on to his shoulders, nails digging in his skin as his head hangs low. He grunts directly in your ear as he fucks you, the sounds he makes almost pornographic. It’s hot, deadly so, but then again you think everything he does is hot.

You’re a goner for him. For your brother’s best friend, for someone you can’t truly have. It sobers you, and Jungkook seems to notice the shift in your attitude because he stills inside of you, raising his head to meet your gaze.

“Are you okay?” he gently asks. 

His big, doe eyes are filled with concern for you, with so much emotion you think you might drown. You cup his cheek, taking it all in.

Maybe you truly can give it a chance.

“I think I’m falling for you,” you breathe.

He doesn’t move for a while, doesn’t even blink, but then he grins. He grins, and you think you’ve never seen something as beautiful as him.

“Then that makes two of us,” he whispers, and then he’s kissing you languidly, his hips resuming their motions, though they’re slower this time, closer to what it was like at the beginning. 

You love it all the same, holding him as close to you as you can, kissing him back with every little treacherous emotion you don’t want to name.

He really is too good to be true.

“I’m going to come,” he whispers against your mouth, and he sounds slightly surprised.

Like he didn’t think he could come from gentler, softer sex like what you’re partaking in right now. Yet you react accordingly, pulling on his hair just enough to sting.

“Yeah?” you let out.

“Fuck,” he grunts.

“Fucking come for me, Kook.”

The nickname unleashes him, and he pounds into you, chasing his high as you rake your nails on his back. A few deep thrusts later he’s coming, slamming to the hilt as his dick twitches inside of you, and he kisses you again, grunts and groans in your mouth as you take it all in, your walls pulsing around him like you’re coming too.

It takes you both a while to come down from the high, and Jungkook doesn’t move, stays there with his forehead resting against yours as you breathe in the same air. Your hands run up and down his back in soothing motions despite the thin sheen of sweat covering him, and he occasionally presses soft pecks on your lips that you immediately reciprocate.

Eventually the moment passes, and Jungkook slips out of you to lie down next to you instead, though he stays close, nuzzling his face in your neck as he rests his hand on your stomach. You feel safe, warm, and you wish the world could stop right now. You wish you could stay here, forever.

And tonight you reckon you’re foolish enough to believe you might.

Prev | Chapter 9.5 | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

these two are so obsessed with each other, help :') hope you guys liked this chapter! Let me know what you think!!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[danieyells]

@2flowerz NOW I CAN POST THEM LOL HERE'S ED TO START WITH

PERVY OLD VAMPIRE IS AN ABSOLUTE GOOBER. . .he's also very very tired. But he has a very nice reaper taking care of him and a friendly dog that wants him to go outside more, so he has people who love and care for him even though he's. . .a little troublesome haha.

also I changed the format from previous posts and added the specific times and seasons and such for each dialogue! this should help lessen some confusion about how to get them.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Ah, there you are. I've a favor to ask of you— come to my room and I'll explain."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Oh? It appears we have some letters. Alas, my eyesight is not what it used to be. Read them out to me, would you?"

well maybe if you didn't stare at your tablet all day. . . .

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"I have much to learn about the human world... Rui is teaching me a lot, but I cannot seem to divorce myself of careless blunders."

y'know, it's good he's trying to learn anyway. 400 years old is never too late.

"What did I do before Darkwick? I eked out a humble existence in Eastern Europe. Hm? The most powerful vampire? No, those are just rumors. "

didn't you confirm it yourself in the main story though--also if he was living in eastern europe for the past 400-ish years i wonder if he saw lyca when he was young, even if in passing? then again eastern europe isn't exactly small.

"I was taken by a sudden whim to travel abroad. I had heard good things about Japan so I came over to play, but alas, I was captured."

so he went to japan just to have a nice time for a while but the Institute decided to keep him trapped in Darkwick. . .and then they didn't listen to any warnings or concerns he had. . .no wonder he doesn't give a shit what's going on around here, why would he? They abducted him while he was on vacation--and for what?

"I have no interest in harming humans. After all, they die so quickly. They should enjoy their short lives while they can."

"(cough cough) Oh, it's you... I'm feeling worse than usual today. I don't suppose you could carry me to bed?"

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Good morning... What time is it? ...Still that early? Wake me up again at midday, would you?"

honestly Ed? Mood.

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"If this is about a mission, I can't help you, I'm afraid. I leave such day-to-day duties to Rui, so I suggest you ask him instead."

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm more or less confined to this house most days, for various reasons. I'm on my best behavior. But I'll do what I can to support you from the sidelines."

y'know, he's offering to help a little even at Affinity 3 and that counts for something in my book.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"My favorite channel should be posting a new video at any moment... Sorry, but could we continue this tomorrow?"

you have not yet reached the stage of friendliness where you're more important than a youtube video lmao

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't suppose you know where Rui is? How troubling... My YouTube video has stopped playing..."

well at this hour i'd check either the bar or his room???

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh, it hurts... I cannot seem to shake this ache in the place Rui touched me earlier... I think I'll rest a while."

so it seems like either his limbs pop off/part of him breaks open when Rui touches him, or he suffers a great deal of pain for an extended period of time, maybe his body actively fighting extremely rapid necrosis? Rui did say that he basically insta-kills anyone who isn't super strong, so Ed being in excruciating pain instead of dying or losing a limb now and then makes sense.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I can't survive much sunlight. Without my parasol, I can barely go outside... (sigh) It really is quite punishing..."

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Sounds like Lyca's having fun, from all that yapping. I think it's good for him to develop some temporary bonds with humans at this time in his life."

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I felt the urge to go stargazing, so I went to a hill nearby, but Towa was there already and he chased me away."

TOWA STOP BEING MEAN HE actually he probably would have bothered you and if he smells like a corpse to you that would have been annoying even if he didn't talk to you BUT STILL DON'T BE MEAN.

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You ought to be getting ready for bed. Me? Oh, I'll turn in soon... Just one more YouTube video."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Are you going for a walk? Take care not to spend too long in the garden. Humans are rather susceptible to the miasma there."

WE NEVER DID LEARN ABOUT THE MIASMA. WHAT'S UP WITH THE MIASMA WHY'S THE AIR IN OBSCUARY FUNKY.

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Do you realize that human society is controlled by a shady cabal of elites? There are many videos about it on YouTube."

I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING FOR HIS LAPTOP TO BE TAKEN AWAY OR TIME ON IT RESTRICTED. . .HE'S INTO CONSPIRACY THEORY YOUTUBERS HE'S GONE TOO FAR DOWN THE RABBITHOLE

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"The ghouls are rioting again? Ah ha ha ha, they certainly are full of energy. If you'll excuse me, I was in the middle of a YouTube video."

he simply does NOT GIVE A FUCK lmao the ghouls could be dying out there and he'd probably shrug it off. Maybe keep an eye on things with his sixth sense or have some bats watch. Maybe that's part of why so many ghouls dislike him? he doesn't have any concerns for their plights and problems?

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"How strange... I can't find my other sock. I could have sworn I put it here... Have you seen it?"

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Lyca made a mess again? Ah ha ha ha. Try not to judge him too harshly—he's not human, after all."

i think even for non-humans there's some cleanliness to be strived for. . .even pigs are pretty clean animals from what I hear. . . .

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Rui? Is my lunch ready yet? ...Oh, it's you. You wouldn't happen to be feeling heartsore, would you?"

he's asking if you're sad because he feeds off of tears more than blood. . . . .he wanted to see if you'd cry for him. . . . . . .wait how does Rui usually go about doing this!? Does he cry every day for him???

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Rui has his tavern work at this hour. He made sure I had everything I needed before he left, though."

ed's all cozy in bed with a nice bottle of tears and his fully charged tablet, all the dirty laundry's off his floor and everything--and now you're here! everything is perfect.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Has night fallen already? Do keep in mind that my vitality returns at this hour. You really should be more careful."

i'm kinda getting Taiga vibes here where as his affinity goes up he kind of clearly wants to eat you more, except where Taiga kinda tried to keep away from doing it until Affinity 24 where he snaps and ties you down and starts hurting you, Ed just starts warning you 'you're in danger being around me right now' lol. When he tells you to be careful he makes the sadist face, so he is telling you to be careful around him specifically. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You can't sleep? Come, close your eyes. I'll hold you in my arms until you surrender yourself to the land of slumber."

isn't Ed's skin cold. . .I feel like it may be hard to sleep like that for most people lol then again maybe he'd be perfect for temperature regulation?

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ah, thank you for coming so early. I slept even worse than usual last night... The cleaning can wait. Let me rest my head on your lap, would you?"

'the cleaning can wait' huh. . .is this another Jin situation where he's started to expect you to clean up his room all the time lmao I MEAN RUI ONLY CLEANS IT ONCE A MONTH SO A LITTLE SUPPLEMENTARY CLEANING WOULDN'T HURT. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"How are you finding Obscuary? Anomalies live quite differently to humans, so you're adapting to it remarkably well... Perhaps you're predisposed?"

'hey i know you're probably scared about becoming an anomaly that will harm your loved ones and all but you may already be showing signs so you should just stop worrying and join us!' also do they really live so differently. . .so far the main difference is cleanliness lmao

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"My, where did the time go? Talking to you is just so relaxing. Why? Perhaps it's because I know I could feast upon you at any moment."

in Japanese he says something like "The sense of security of being able to strike at any moment"--he's saying he could bite you and you're so comfortable with him you wouldn't even put up a fight before he could do it. He's making his 'sadist' face, but I think he means it in a 'you're relaxed around me, and it makes me feel comfortable to' way. . . .or not. He could just mean that he appreciates you as easy prey 8D

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Really. You became embroiled in another petty human dispute? How absurd you humans are. Come here."

he feels so bad for you and always getting involved in some shit. . .you know you wouldn't have to do any of this if you abandoned your humanity and just became an anomaly?

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"So, you've come sneaking into my room in the middle of the night? You really are a wicked girl. What were you hoping for? Go on, say it."

Do you want him to feed off of you? Or do you want him to feast upon you? Or were you just that starved for his company? I feel like he's willing to put aside his tablet for you at this point, especially if you're coming into his window late at night for a little tryst.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Being with you brings up old, old memories... Perhaps it's because you remind me a little of her."

well he is hundreds of years old, so of course he had lovers in the past. . .I wonder if she was also mortal, and if he refuses to see humans and anomalies as compatible because of heartbreak. Or maybe he doesn't get heartbroken like some humans do, and it's just nostalgia. But for someone who struggles to remember things sometimes to have old memories stirred up, I think that's a good thing. He must feel quite old at this point, but having someone around who reminds him of being even a little younger must be nice, even if he doesn't think it will last. . .then again maybe that's part of why he seems like he encourages you to become an anomaly in his character stories. Because he'll get to have you around for longer.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"The plants in our garden become rather lively in the spring. See? There's a little cannibalism going on over there."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"My favorite channels have been updating more frequently than usual of late. I suppose humans really do experience spring fever."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"(yawn) I look more tired than usual? Must be the spring weather... Goodnight."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Cherry blossoms are fascinating organisms. Born carrying the stench of death and falling all too soon... Just like humans, really."

i don't think most humans smell like death(unless we're referencing the poem about sakura trees having corpses beneath them to make the petals pink again) but go off i guess--also it makes it seem like he wishes humans lived longer? funny thing for a guy who thinks humans aren't compatible to say.

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Obscuary is lovely in summer. It's so dark and cool, with a lovely miasma breeze. I've no desire to step outside its confines."

honestly living in eternal night during the summer doesn't sound bad aside from all the bugs. but the tentacle plant in the garden probably keeps most of them away, so. . .obscuary in summer sounds lovely.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"How the sun mocks me... Vampires across the nation are advised to avoid going outdoors unless absolutely necessary."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It was so hot this morning that Rui was walking around after his shower in just a towel. A sight for sore eyes, I must say."

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH HE IS BISEXUAL. in Japanese he says that Rui was walking around soaking wet and that he's incredibly handsome but doesn't mention the towel--so Rui may have been wet and bare naked walking around Obscuary. . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"My air-conditioner? I believe I have it set to 64 degrees. Hm? You're cold? Humans truly are such fragile creatures."

that is almost 18 degrees celcius for the non-americans! it's not that cold imo but it's definitely a little chillier than most people like their personal space.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Humans take extra delight in their meals during the harvest season, do they? Interesting. Perhaps I'll follow suit."

lap up your tears nice and slow and sensual--

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The stamina and physical strength of a vampire is dozens of times that of a human. We don't need to work ou— (cough) (wheeze)"

YOU GOOD BUDDY YOU STARTED COUGHING WITHOUT EVEN MOVING i mean i get it i have asthma but still--

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ah, the curtain of night closes. Now that the days are becoming shorter, my physical and mental health have much improved."

does that mean you don't need help getting dressed for a while--

(between 8pm and 5am)

"How beautiful the moon looks tonight. Its light is such a comfort to us non-humans. You look rather lovely bathed in it too."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"(sigh) Even in the dead of winter, Lyca is so full of energy in the mornings... Just try to imagine waking to him barking in your ear."

that explains why you lock him out of your room lmaoooo

(between 11am and 4pm)

"What do you think of my dressing gown? Rui made it for me. It's surprisingly warm."

MOM RUI STRIKES AGAIN MAKING HIS BOY COZY CLOTHES FOR THE WINTER

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"(cough cough) I only took a few steps outside, yet I felt as though my heart froze over... It's best not to leave one's room on days like this."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"They say that on cold nights like this, humans long for the warmth of another. Well? Shall I provide it for you?"

DO YOU POSSESS THE WARMTH OF ANOTHER SIR I RECALL YOUR SKIN BEING DESCRIBED AS COLD

His birthday: (November 10th)

"Having you celebrate my birthday makes all these long years of life worth it. How old am I? A gentleman doesn't tell."

given your estimate was 'idk 400 i stopped counting around 300' i think it's less you won't tell and more you can't tell lmaoooo

Your birthday:

"It's your birthday, is it? I'll have to give you a present. What do you want? Go on, tell me."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I heard it's a tradition in this country to impart small monetary gifts. Here, for you."

OTOSHIDAMA GET!!!!

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"My, is this for me? I'm touched. I don't usually partake of human food, but I suppose I'll make an exception."

it's about the symbolism! it's the principle of the thing, even if the chocolate tastes bland to your vampire taste buds!

White Day: (March 14th)

"It seems that today those who received chocolates on Valentine's Day are supposed to return the favor. What a conscientious country this is..."

yeah but what'd you get them tho--

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Oh, I'm burning up... I'm not long for this world... Won't you grant me one last request? ...No need to make that face. I'm joking, of course."

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat. I'm a real vampire, you know. Give me your blood, or I'll play a trick on you."

probably the only time he's directly stated wanting to drink your blood lol

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. Rather amusing for a vampire to celebrate a holy day, don't you think? Let's fill tonight with magic and wonder."

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"I'm going to lie down a while. If you need something, ask Rui."

(13 affinity and above)

"Hello? Oh good, there you are. It would be troublesome for me if you were to disappear. Let me know next time you decide to wander off."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'D BE TROUBLESOME. I guess it's because you clean up after him and help him and stuff. . .and at higher affinities maybe he feeds off of your tears and/or blood. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Well, hello there. It's been a while. Come over here—I've been looking forward to your return."

OUR SLOPPY LIL VAMPIRE BOY. Flirts, drinks tears, minds his own business, and is on his best behavior despite that he was abducted by Darkwick. They should be thankful he's not angrier, considering he's apparently strong enough to LEVEL A BUILDING ON HIS OWN. As his affinity goes up he seems to be more comfortable around you, although that comes with the concern that he expresses less human thoughts more openly. . .which isn't a bad thing, imo. He should be allowed to be an anomaly. He's not harming or preying on you, just saying he could and that he's dangerous. But he also just seems to like physical affection and flirting and having you do chores for him so he can be lazy. . . .

I love him lol he's stinky

[claireverything]

a must read on the 5th house

The 5th house is so funny. On the surface it seems like an easy house. It's about fun! Pleasure, enjoyment. It's the house of your Joy. Whatever could be difficult about that?

But, in the midst of having a heavy 5th house experience, you realise,

oh.

Why can't I have the kind of fun I want to have? Why can't I be constantly validated by the life experience I am having? Why can't I feel good? Why can't I be happy? Why am I being blocked from enjoying myself and feeling good about myself? Why why WHY??? WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY I DESERVE THIS

I DESERVE THIS.

Or do you?

That is the question of the 5th house. That is what it is asking you in this lifetime. How much self-validation do you get to have? How good do you get to feel? Do you get to feel good all the time? 80% of the time? 30% of the time? Is your strive for pleasure and validating experiences in vain? Or were you put on this earth to shine in the rays of the Sun?

My younger brother is a pisces sun and moon in the 5th. He wants to be a recording artist, but he's bad at singing. Lmao. He makes good beats, don't get me wrong. That's where his music-making strength lies currently. But his singing voice is bad, and I had to tell him that today. Don't worry, I did it gently. But also, firmly. Because this has been a Truth my family has not yet made clear to him. And it's kind of our duty to. Lest he be one of those people on America's Got Talent embarrassing themselves on national TV. But he also had to be told because he genuinely believes it's good and, even worse, that he is going to be picked up by a label tomorrow, next month, or in the near future despite his current friends not even knowing he makes and shares music on social media. My brother is prone to delusions as a pisces moon in the 5th. More specifically, he is prone to self-validating delusions. Delusions that make him feel good and worthy and delicious, like he's shining. Delusions that bring him joy. And, as a double Pisces, his delusions are backed by a powerful spiritual energy. He has a lot of Jovian power, a lot of faith. But it is being channelled in the wrong direction. It is not being channelled in the direction of Truth, as it is ultimately intended to be. It is being channelled in the direction of self-comforting illusions.

Don't get me wrong, I love comfort. I love comfort, I love safety, I love feeling good. I'm a 12H moon honey. But Life is not about constantly feeling comfortable. You did not come here to feel comfortable. You came here to learn to find peace in discomfort. Something I believe my 23 year old brother is intended to learn how to do.

I've had Saturn in my 5th house for the last two and a half years. It has only just left. The experience was increasingly more excruciating as the transit went by. I was restricted from all of my creative expression. Okay not all of it, but like 95% of it. I was only able to create and express myself in ways that were genuinely potentially lucrative. I had to stop creating art for my own pleasure and self-validation and start creating content that I could actually survive off of. That's how I started my Self-Mastery Youtube channel to lay a foundation for my career as a creative counsellor (or Healing Artist). And let it be known that I have venus and mars conjunct in Leo in the 10th house. So not being able to express myself solely for self-aggrandization was excruciating.

With Saturn now having left my 5th house, I don't even know who I am anymore as a creative. Now all my creative expression will inevitably support my material survival on this Earth. Not in a gross capitalist way, but more so in a grounded, I-have-a-clear-identity-and-purpose-and-if-I'm-going-to-create-I-need-to-do-it-in-a-way-where-it-is-genuinely-going-to-support-my-survival, way. That Saturn transit was brutal. It was not a time of self-validation and feeling good about myself. It was a time of working towards my creativity actually being feasible for the reality of my life as a person living under this matrix that we are all forced to endure.

I say all this to say, the 5th house is not always what we are told it is; fun, pleasurable, exciting, sexy. It's more about navigating the tension between wanting to feel good about yourself, and not being able to because Saturn also exists. i.e. you also have to submit to some higher authority of Life that doesn't always permit that you feel good about yourself. And that's okay. We don't have to feel good about ourselves all the time. And we are safe even when we don't.

Easy for me to say, as a 12th house stellium. My whole life is about learning to feel safe and comfortable when I'm not seen or validated at all.

[immortalbutterflycos]

Things My Younger Sibling Has Said To Me (a Sirius kin) That Give Off Regulus Energy:

"It's fine, I'll just kill your family. Which is myself."

"I'm having FOUR waffles. Because FUCK the government!"

"I'm about to give up on this motherfucker"

"It's an appointment with my psychiatrist -_-"

"Did she do the stretchys?" (about my cat when I told them she woke up from her nap while they were away)

"Dude I'm genuinely considering that grippy sock vacation"

"How pissed would mother be if I did get baker acted? Lmao"

"I ended up having an anxiety attack."

"I can wait. I'll survive off of coffee for now."

"Ugh fiiine what if I were to commit arson?"

*sends me a series of pictures of our cat* "That one is my favorite. I call it Existential Dread."

*talking about going on a date with my friend who I introduced them to* "Do you think this sounds like a good place to eat lunch with Celeste tomorrow?" (this is some Sirius and Regulus behavior if I've ever seen it)

"No I'm just sad"

"YES ITS A MUSEUM! Also, we're in fighting range for Celeste's mother."

"Did I have a breakdown today? Yes, yes absolutely I did."

*before they started actually dating Celeste, definitely drunk* "Dude. I wanna tell Celeste how I feel rn."

"Have the idiots come yet?"

"I wanna scream. Some old guy just told me I would look prettier if I smiled more and I hate it so much."

"Okay, then punch him in the dick."

"Find better friends"

"Do I add, "and I'm gay and wanna date you" or is that too much?"

"WHY AM I SO GAY AND SAD?????!!!!!"

*after meeting my dnd friends (Celeste included) for the first time* "I just realized that I was talking to everyone the way I talk to you, which is basically insults and curse words."

[smutinlove]

You were my light (Part 2)

Carl Grimes x Reader

Warnings: A bit angsty, tiny bit of fighting, arguing, carl being a jackass, panic attack, description of panic attack

☽ Author's note☾ Yay! Part 2 is here bitches! And surprisingly it didn't take ten years lmao. Omg. So like this is very depressing. Read at your own risk. Take a damn look at the warnings. ESPECIALLY THE ONES IN ITALICS. DO NOT STEAL, COPY, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are very much appreciated!

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

≿━━༺❀༻━━≾

Summary - The daughter of the now dead Negan Smith is walking in the woods. She thought she was alone. But she wasn't.

❝ The jokes weren't funny, I took the money My friends from home don't know what to say I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can't take away ❞

≿━━༺❀༻━━≾

You hated that motherless son of a bitch. He was so annoying, smug, and just an asshole in general. Which made you want to kill Carl even more.

Every day, at six in the morning, he'd storm inside your prison and throw a plate of expired food at you, punch you in the face, and then lock you inside. Every. Fucking. Day.

Oh, and that was just the beginning, sometimes he'd feed you dog food.

You were sitting in the same chair, but this time there was a table in front of you. Cause, "Carl is so... nice." You heard the door unlock, expecting it to be Carl.

You said, "Come to feed me more dog food, Carl?" You laughed.

But you were surprisingly wrong. It was a man who looked a lot like Carl. And you most definitely knew this man. "Rick?" You questioned.

"He's been feeding you dog food?!" He asked furiously. You nodded.

He let out a breathy laugh. "I told him not to do that."

"So, you're Negan's daughter. I remember you. I remember that day."

'Negan's daughter.' God, it hurt so fucking bad. Everyone called you 'Negan's daughter.' Of course, sure, the Alexandrians probably didn't even know who you were, but it was the fact that most of your father's minions called you 'The boss' daughter' or 'Negan's daughter.'

"Yeah, I remember you too, Rick. I saw it. How scared you all were. And when my dad killed that Chinaman and that red-headed fool, I felt nothing. So, if that's what you wanna talk about, then done." You said bitterly.

Rick stared at you with a blank expression before moving closer to you. "He's Korean! And his name was Glenn, Glenn Rhee. And that red-headed fool's name was Abraham Ford! And YOU don't get to talk about them like that," he yelled.

He crossed his arms and leaned back against a dirty wall.

"We'll let you stay here. In Alexandria. Just listen to us. Answer what we want you to." You frowned. "Why should I? Huh?"

"You won't survive another minute out there. Carl saved you! We saved you," he shouted. "No! He kidnapped me. He didn't save me at all. And neither did you."

You sighed, "So stop. Just stop, Rick Grimes. You're not helping. I don't wanna stay in this garbage community. It's repulsing!"

"Tell me if you change your mind. Until then, we won't let you out. Not today, not tomorrow."

"How about the day after tomorrow?"

He chuckled but didn't speak any further. He left, locking the door after.

≿━━༺❀༻━━≾

You were getting bored of staring at the same grey walls. "Fuck!" You shouted.

You grabbed your chair and threw it at the wall, which did not make a difference as the chair instead broke.

You laughed and threw your head back. Of course, it had to break.

And now your back was against the cold floor, you brought your knees up to your chest. "Happy, happy, happy..." You whispered to yourself.

"Daddy loves you, Y/N."

"No, no. Stop..." You cried out.

Blood, sweat, tears, starve.

Jokes, money, friends, gone. Dead.

Around, soaked gown, cry, scream.

You're on your own, kid.

You always have been.

Face it. Face it. Tell them. Tell them you're—

"Stop! No. Stop, I can't—" You're heart was racing, and sweat dripped down your forehead, maybe you were dying, you were too young, your hands were trembling, "No, no—" You couldn't breathe, it only meant one thing.

"No! Stop, no. No! Stop it!" You screamed over and over.

"Daddy loves you, Y/N."

"No, you don't!" You yelled repeatedly.

You blinked rapidly, but you felt like giving in. Sleep, die. Sleep, die. Sleep, die.

You heard the door open, or maybe it was your imagination. Yeah, that's it. Right? Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing special.

You were a fucked up little girl.

≿━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"She's waking up! Doc," You tried sitting up, but someone stopped you. "Hey, take it easy, sweetheart."

What even happened? I don't know...

What?

You looked around the room. You were in a rather uncomfortable bed. The walls were painted a disgusting shade of green.

"No," you groaned. Your eyes were met with another. A singular blue eye. Fuck, it's him. "Damnit, it's—"

"—Me. Surprised, Y/N?" He chuckled.

≿━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

So, you had a panic attack. It was not much of a surprise to you, but it was to Carl. "Wow, I knew you were fucked up in the head, but panic attacks too?"

You felt a bit ashamed. So much was done for you, and you didn't even deserve all this 'protection and care.' "Just cause you're a total mess doesn't mean I immediately care about you. I hate you." He confessed. You smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked curiously.

You grabbed the glass vase. It was to your right. You jammed it in Carl's arm, making him scream in pain and fall back. "You fucking bitch!"

...

Part 3?

[messrmoonyy]

hey y’all, anon bestie back at it again😍

but rlly, like imagine.. tess getting a lil submissive but still being the one in control and getting on her knees in front of you to do sum unholy things LORD HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL

Submission

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

A/N- hi bestie!!! I thank you for your service , you’re my favourite 🫡 I was just gonna write a little Drabble for this but as always. I got carried away! It’s actually surprisingly soft 🤧 I think sub Tess is RARE like I think that side of her only makes an appearance once in a blue moon when she’s just unbelievably drained and needs to not be the one in control and scary all the fine. And needs a lil comforting herself. And here is one of those times.

Warnings: 18+ || Tess. She’s a warning on her own lmao. Smut: oral ( reader and Tess receiving ), slight sub/Dom roles.

Word count: 4.2k of pure self indulgent filth.

Masterlist - Tess one shot requests are open!

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

Tess was silent as you wound your way through the back alleys of the QZ, sticking close to the shadows and the walls. You knew your way around all the secret pass throughs like the back of your hand by now, which in that case was good. You were in a hurry.

You were supposed to have received a drop off from Bill and Frank on Monday. It was now Friday. Both previous attempts to collect your goods had gone south, FEDRA almost catching you both times.

And now you’d failed attempt number 3.

There had been a spike in people trying to escape the walls, take their luck surviving outside of zone in some hopes of a better future. So FEDRA had increased their presence by the walls. If it hadn’t had been for the other two making a break for it and distracting the officers from where you and Tess were positioned, you’d be in the back of an armoured truck having them see what size noose you wore.

Tess was pissed. Obviously. And stressed beyond belief. You both had people waiting on pills. On bullets. Food. On stupid shit like socks and books. And it was all sat outside the wall somewhere waiting to be collected. You just couldn’t reach it.

Tess ducked into one of the buildings that hid a tunnel heading right back near your apartment, still not speaking a word. Not even when she braced herself to boost you up onto the ledge leading out. No muttered annoyance at whoever had gone through there last not leaving the ladder in plain sight.

Not even a thank you when you held out your hand and pulled her up too. Just a nod of her head and a light hand to your back, ridding you of your backpack and tucking it away for next time.

It wasn’t until back in the relative safety of your shared apartment did she finally break her silence.

You watched her intently as she pulled off her jacket, tossing it onto the back of the couch before slumping down, elbows on her knees.

“ fuckin FEDRA assholes “ it didn’t really hold the level of anger you’d expected. Her voice wasn’t bitter, no venom laced her words. In fact she just sounded… tired. Like the entire weight of the world was currently sat upon her shoulders.

“ we can try again tomorrow “ she shook her head and sighed again sitting back, looking up at the ceiling.

“ if our shits even still there. There was food in that package too. Fuckin fox or dog or some shit has probably had a field day with it “ she pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes closed now. you wandered over to her and carefully placed your self in her lap, cupping her face gently in your hands.

“ then we get the other stuff. People will soon realise that FEDRA have upped security by the wall, they’ll stop tryna run for a while, officers will be deployed else where. Then we get our shit “ her eyes danced across your face for a moment, sadness swimming across her pupils “ what’s going on with you today? “ you brushed her hair away from her face, running your fingers lightly through the greys peppering her temple before tucking it behind her ears

“ I don’t know “ she’d never really been one to talk about her feelings. She was honestly pretty fucking shit at expressing them in any way that truly made sense most of the time. In fact in the 10 plus years you had been together you didn’t think you could even actually recall a time she’d said ‘I love you’.

Of course she told you in other ways. In the ‘ be fucking careful ‘ , the ‘ touch her and I blow your fucking brains out’. In the tender kisses that were reserved solely for you, in those moments where you hid away from the world and pretended you were safe. The hand to your shoulder. The strong arms around you as you slept. She was better at showing than speaking.

“ you can talk to me “

“ yeah. I know “ she held your gaze for a moment, some wordless discussion happening between you. It was like she didn’t quite know what to say. She didn’t know how to ask for help, didn’t know how to truly make herself vulnerable to you. Even after so much time. And it was funny actually. Because she could do it to you so easily. Could have you tearing your heart out and serving it up to her on a silver platter with very little effort. But she was so unbelievably opposite.

So reserved and closed off. So strong and demanding and powerful.

She looked on the verge of speaking. Or kissing you. Or both. Eyes darting between your own and your lips. But she did neither. Simply sighed again, her face taking on that look that said she very much did not want to talk about it now. And she patted your leg lightly, urging you to stand.

You watched her walk over to the kitchenette, suddenly unbelievably interested in cleaning dishes. Keeping busy. Keeping her hands occupied.

You knew Tess well enough to know that what would usually have calmed and eased most, wouldn’t work with her. You couldn’t use all the techniques she used on you. The way she would pet your hair and let you cry into her chest after a particularly traumatic nightmare, the way her hands that were covered in so much blood could be so gentle and tender with you, her usual demanding bark that she used with people on the black market that crossed her, that turned soft for you.

It wouldn’t work on her. She’d never let you do it either. You’d tried before and she’d shut herself off from you.

She wasn’t one for pity and sympathy. So no, you couldn’t use all of her tricks for her. On her. But you could use one.

The most common, the one that was her go to. The one that had you floating and mind crumbling to mush inside your skull, had your blood morphing into a river of molasses in your veins. Slowing you down. Forcing you to relax.

She’d never let you go to that extreme on her, that was a fact. But with how truly drained she looked in that moment? You were convinced you could push her a little. Force her to relax and try and give her the treatment that so often saved you from losing your own damned mind.

A break.

A solitary moment where she didn’t have to be strong. Or powerful or whatever the fuck else she forced herself to be everyday.

“ Tess “ she looked over at you as you stood by the counter, the usual fiery look in her eye not burning as brightly as it usually did. She was running on empty “ c’mere “ she hesitated for a moment before drying her hands on a towel and walking over. Your heart was racing a little, not used to the possible switch in dynamic you were about to propose. You cupped her cheek gently, thumb brushing along her cheekbone for a moment. To your mild surprise, She was the one to lean in, capturing your lips with hers in a kiss far gentler than normal.

She usually had a force behind her, a solid and sure hold on your face. Or your waist. Where ever she’d chosen to anchor herself to you. Usually gave the direction, the press of her thumb to make you tilt your head a certain way or the one to brush her tongue over yours and silently command you to submit. But in that moment she didn’t. It was still there… sort of. The hand that had planted itself on your waist lightly fiddling with the hem of your shirt, cold fingers slipping under so desperate for the skin to skin contact she always craved. Fingers pressing into your flesh, but lighter.

And it gave you the motivation you needed. The motivation to attempt to peel her apart until she was as open as she could be to you.

“ I want you on your knees “ you said against her lips, your voice low. Not entirely commanding in the way that she usually was, but far more than you’d ever let yourself be before. For a brief moment you regretted it, wishing you’d just left her be. But, to your complete surprise, she did it.

Her hands trailed down your body as she went, along your arms and over the dip of your waist, pausing briefly on your hips before falling loosely into her lap as she sat on her heels.

You hoped you didn’t look as lost as you felt. Even when traversing the sticky handlings of drop offs you weren’t as stern as Tess could be. The people that feared you only really doing so because they knew you had Tess right at your side, and Joel on the other. But you could still hold your ground. And she had done this for you so many times before, pushed you to submit and let your mind leave you for a while. It was about time you repaid her. So you tried.

“ take them off, my jeans “ you were still on edge waiting for her to laugh at you for even attempting to switch roles. Maybe yank you down onto the kitchen floor with her and fuck you into the floor tiles until you couldn’t walk anymore. Show you how it was really done But she didn’t. In fact she almost looked relieved. Eyes almost glassy with some kind of relaxed fogginess, the weight of her week slowly lifting from her shoulders. A realisation that in that tiny little apartment she wasn’t expected to be cruel, to be loud and in charge. That she could be vulnerable. No one expected anything of her there, least of all you.

She still had her usual Tess tendencies. Dragging everything out. Slow as she unbuttoned the tight denim that was hugging your body. Dragging them down your legs in a way akin to some kind of odd assisted strip tease.

“ can I- “ she cut herself off with a huff. Seemingly some mixture of annoyed and embarrassed at being put in the position you always held. The one asking permission. You reached out for her again, hands cupping her face and making her look up. Her eyes had closed, some debate clearly happening behind her eyelids.

“ Tess “ she kept her eyes closed, her face still not as relaxed as you wanted it “ Tess, love. Open your eyes “ you coaxed, rubbing soft circles into her cheeks with your thumbs until they opened “ relax. I’m trying to help you. To you know, Relieve some stress “

“ yeah. I know “ she sighed, her hands gently running up and down your legs. Hands that were rough from fighting her way through the hell of the last 20

Years, that sent your skin raising in goosebumps. Like a trail of braille that only she could decipher, the reactions and workings of your body made solely for her to understand “ I’m not very good at asking permission “

“ then don’t. Just act “ and she did, leaning forward, brushing her nose against your cloth covered mound. Slow and wet open mouthed kisses through the fabric of your underwear and you feared she was simply slipping back into her usual ways. Teasing mercilessly and dragging things out for hours. But that wasn’t how you wanted to play. This was only the start “ take them off “ her fingers hooked into the waist band and dragged them down your legs without further prompting.

She lifted your left leg, pulling your foot from the loop. And then the right. But instead of putting the right carefully back down again, she hooked it over her shoulder. She kept her eyes on you as she pressed kisses along your inner thigh and you snaked a hand down into her hair.

“ stop teasing “ it came out a little breathier than you’d wanted, not as stern as you’d been hoping for. You really weren’t cut out for the dominant role. But you sure as hell were going to keep trying.

“ then tell me what you want “ even then with her voice more gentle that it usually was, she still had that control. She would never lose it you were certain. But either way, it was distracting her from her stress and that was all that mattered.

“ you know what I fucking want “ you said and slipped your hand further into her hair, curling your fingers into it and tugging her back a little to look at you more “ so fucking do it “

“ yes ma’am “ she said with a small laugh, even mocking a salute with her fingers before burying her face in you. Your fingers tugged at her locks wrapped around your fingers, in a way that was no doubt painful, as you gasped. But she didn’t react, too preoccupied with you, her lips sucking harshly at your clit.

“ and none- none of your teasing shit “ you could feel her smile against you and you didn’t even care that you were well and truly shit at telling her what to do, because at least she’d cracked a fucking smile. If she was making fun of you not, you didn’t care.

“ nice and quick. I can do that “ the truth to the matter was, you did want it over fast. Knowing that getting her to let you touch her was a rare occurrence. And she definitely wouldn’t let you if you hadn’t already came first at least once.

And you needed to touch her. Wanted to. Desperately. Needed to show her the same attention she showed you, to have her floating and forgetting why she was even stressed out in the first place.

Not that Tess needed to know that just yet.

You let her work her magic, head thrown back in pleasure as she alternated between wrapping her lips around your clit and thrusting her tongue into you. It was barely a couple minutes before she already had you on the edge, eyes locked firmly on your face as you clenched around her tongue. Some attempt to keep her there and not let her leave

“ fuck. Fuck just like that “ her fingers pressed harder into the flesh of your thigh, so hard you knew you’d have bruises blossoming across your skin in the morning. A colourful reminder of exactly who you belonged to “ just like that oh shit “ you looked down at her, truly admiring the image of her there on her knees. Committing it to memory, certain you wouldn’t see it again anytime soon. Noting the almost submissive look that was clouding her eyes as she kept up her pace, relentless in her efforts to have you coming on her tongue.

It was something you’d never known you needed, to see her like that. To see the woman that had people moving out of her way as she walked past, too scared of upsetting her or getting in her way, right there on her knees. For you. Only for you. She was ravishing.

“ fuck- I’m gonna- Tess “ you whined, teeth sinking into your bottom lip in some attempt to stave off the noises slipping from your throat. You kept her intense eye contact as your orgasm slammed into you, blooming from the pit of your belly and making your entire body shake. You gasped out her name as she worked you through it, only stopping when you tugged at her hair to detach her from you “ too much “ you mumbled, leaning your head back and attempting to catch your breath.

She peppered light kisses across your thigh before gently easing your leg back onto the floor. You simply wanted to melt into a puddle and bathe in the bliss she’d gifted you for the rest of the day. But you had more important things to do rather than sit and soak in your post orgasm glow. You looked down at her again, quite certain you could actually come again just from the sight of her.

She truly was a sight to behold on her knees. Paired with the mess you’d made of her hair and the evidence of what she’d just done to you coating her lips and chin in a glossy sheen, it was almost too much to bare. You needed her desperately. Needed to ravish her until she forgot her own name, some deep primal instinct to be the one to make her feel as good as she did you.

“ c’mere. Up here. Come here “ you said almost in a rush. She pressed a kiss to your thigh again before rising to her feet, kissing you without you having to ask. You could taste yourself on her lips, something that only made that fire burn stronger in your chest, setting your entire body ablaze with a desperate want to simply give. To please “ come with me “ you said in between hurried kisses, tugging at her hands in the direction of your bed.

“ what are you- “

“ shh. Just do as I say “ you kept kissing her as you went, not able to bring yourself to stop even for a second.

Sometimes when you sold your pills they would ask you if you sampled your own goods. Which you did. Occasionally. But never enough to let it become an addiction like them. Cause Why on earth would you need pills to feed an addiction when you had her? What high could possibly even come close to the one that was kissing her? Tasting her, touching her, completely and utterly consuming her. Nothing could beat it. No drug no drop of alcohol.

“ lie down “ you gave her shoulders a push to urge her on, crawling on top of her as you did. Her hands were all over you, roaming under your shirt and trailing along your spine. You detached your lips from hers and began pressing a trail of kisses across her jaw, along her cheekbones, on every scar and line her face held. You could feel her melting beneath you, her tense muscles gradually turning to Jelly. It was working.

“ Tess “ you said softly, close to her ear, finger tracing along the waistband of her jeans “ will you let me help you relax? please let me “ you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips again “ I want to help you “ she pushed your hair back behind your ear, trailing her fingers across your jaw to rest on your chin. Her thumb ran over your bottom lip, pulling it down and watching it snap back into place “ Tess “ her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, letting out a slightly shaky breath as you said her name.

“ say it again “ it was so quiet you weren’t entirely sure you’d heard her correctly.

“ Tess “ her body visibly relaxed beneath you, her shoulders go slack as she melted down further into the mattress.

“ I love the way you say it “

“ Tess “ you whispered it softly, as if it were the most beautiful word to ever leave your mouth, brushing your lips over hers. Her eyes were still closed, lips parted as her chest rose and fell in a deep and steady pace. You kept repeating it, over and over like a mantra as you stripped her of her shirt, kissing every inch of new skin you revealed. Like some holy prayer that deserved nothing but the upmost care in reciting “ do you want me to help you? “ you caught her nod out of the corner of your eye but it wasn’t enough “ say it for me”

“ yes “ it was a whisper but you knew she didn’t have the strength to be more confident with it. So you didn’t push. Simply continued your path down her body, helping her out of her jeans and planting yourself between her legs.

You could actually count the number of times you’d gone down on her in the last 10 years on your fingers. She liked to give and was quite often reluctant when it came to receiving. So when she did let you, you weren’t going to squander it. She was watching you closely now, eyes heavy and half lidded as you moved forward. Letting her completely overwhelm your senses, letting her consume you.

Your fingers carefully parted her and you heard her breathe hitch, stuttering as your tongue licked a long stripe along the seam of her. You glanced up, checking on her. A moan left your own lips just at the sight of her, which was funny and maybe a little pathetic. But fuck it. Her lidded eyes and disheveled hair, the way her chest heaved and lips were slightly parted.

You waited. Waited for what felt like an eternity and a half before she gave you a small nod. The go ahead to continue. And you didn’t need telling twice. You buried your face in her cunt, eating her out like a woman starved.

She’d never really be one for making much noise, you were always the one that needed her hand clamped firmly over your mouth to stop you from waking the neighbours. And the entire QZ. But the small breathy moans she did allow herself were like music to your ears.

You wrapped your arms around her thighs, tugging her closer and unable to stop the smile the pulled at your lips as her back arched up from the mattress. You felt like the cat that had gotten the cream- metaphorically and figuratively you supposed- a mix of being smug and proud swirling in your mind.

Her taste was addictive. And maybe now you did understand how people can let themselves become so dependent on something, because who in their right mind would ever want to give up this? And with the opportunity for a hit of her so rare, you dare not let a single drop of her go anywhere but your tongue.

Her hands were twisted into the sheets, knuckles blanching with the force of it, short quick breaths escaping from between her lips.

You slowly added your fingers, working her open and coaxing something akin to more of a moan than quickened breath and you force yourself not to smile again.

“ is it good? “ you asked, curling your fingers in an attempt to locate the same spot she always abused in you.

“ shut the fuck up and keeping going “ bingo.

That had done it. She was just as desperate as you.

It simply made you more desperate, now that you were drawing more and more heavenly sounds from her mouth. You ate her like your life depended on it. It was messy. Indecent. Practically pornographic but you were too far gone, not a single care for anything other than making her come.

And god you needed to feel her come, needed to feel her clench around your fingers and trap your head between her thighs. Needed to hear the sounds she’d make and commit them to memory.

When her breaths quickened and her hips lifted from the bed you knew she was close and you reluctantly detached your lips from where you’d been suckling at her clit.

“ wanna come for me? “

“ I won’t fucking beg you for it “ she said, breathless, propping herself on her elbows to look down at you “ do you know how fucking smug you look right now? “ you could take a good fucking guess.

“ smug? Me? Never “ you curled your fingers again and watched her face soften, her eyes flutter

“ fuck you “

“ you already did “ she flashed you her practical trademark irritated face and you shrugged “ I’m not asking you to beg anyway. Just say please “ she scoffed and you shrugged again, reluctantly removing your fingers.

“ the fuck are you doing? “

“ say please “ she held your gaze for a few agonising moments, and you raised your eyebrow in a silent challenge “ say it. One word “ you started peppering kisses along her inner thighs, across her now puffy and sticky lips making sure to avoid where she actually wanted you “ I know you’re close. Know you want to come. Just say please “ it was mildly cruel. But also a little funny. After years of her making you beg she was finally getting a taste of her own medicine. She dropped her head back into the pillow and groaned.

“ please “

“ wasn’t so hard was it? “ you were back on her in an instant, luring her back to the edge with your lips, tongue, fingers.

The sound she made as she came was otherworldly, choking out a sob of your name and arching her back off of the mattress. Her thighs clamped around your head, forcing you to stay in place and drag out her orgasm for as long as humanly possible. Not that you had intended to do anything different anyway.

You lapped at her entrance determined not to waste a single drop of what she gave you, even if she was starting to affect your ability to breathe. But you figured it’d be a good way to go. At least you’d die happy.

When her body went slack you carefully crawled back up to her, pushing her hair away from her damp forehead and leaning down to kiss her.

“ better now? “ you asked quietly, already knowing the answer. She’d never looked more relaxed than she did in that moment. She hummed an answer pulling you down to lay with her, tucking you into her side. You pressed a kiss below her jaw and you felt her smile softly.

“ don’t get used to that “

“ wasnt planning on it “

[kiyomitakada]

vent ish

i mean obviously a calendar change from a year to another year wouldn’t have fixed me anyway but i didn’t expect to feel this bad like i don’t know why today of all days i feel even more like cutting off all human contact changing my name and running away to another city. i made a half joking resolution yesterday to stop disappearing and now i just want to do it more because it feels like there are needles in my throat. and i mean i thought college would fix me too because i haven’t talked to my ex in a year but noooo i can’t maintain a stable conversation with anyone because what if they force me to stop talking to anyone else forever i guess. i mean maybe it’s not even my ex’s fault this started four years ago before we started really dating and it’s only gotten worse like i barely think about her anymore i missed her birthday this year and only realized two weeks after the fact (she wished me a happy birthday before then and i never responded because i’m a terrible person) (but also to be fair she broke up with me first i have the right). i haven’t talked to one of my favorite irl people (not my ex lmao) in four months and she thinks i hate her because she missed my birthday (she didn’t have wifi for that month because she was on vacation) and like literally i could clear this up just by texting her because i’m not mad at all but i haven’t had the energy to. in four months. i would say i’m probably cluster b people’s worst nightmare due to the abandonments georg of it all but frankly i’m probably everyone’s worst nightmare like what the fuck man. i feel like at this point im only fixable by adhd medication or counseling but i tried counseling once and just lied to the counselor the entire time so that’s right out. and maybe this isn’t executive dysfunction maybe it’s szpd. or maybe it’s just me as a person and everyone feels this way but can overcome it. i don’t know. i don’t think going no-contact with everyone you love for half-years at a time is normal. i don’t think staying in touch should be difficult. i don’t know if writing this all out is even helping or if it’s just going to make everything worse. maybe this afternoon i’ll manage to look at discord servers long enough to say happy new year to my friends who aren’t on this blog. i miss them a lot. i wish there was a way of telling them without telling them. light says it’s about going through the motions and he’s wrong about a lot of things but he did survive to 23 (27+ in the universe i’m quoting hey) so he has a point probably it’s just that going through the motions is so hard when there’s someone else in the equation whose actions i can’t predict. possibly i should be prohibited from ever making friends again for the safety of mankind. but hey calendar changes aren’t real anyway who cares other than everyone else on the planet am i right. january second might be better. new year’s resolution is be at least as good a person every day as i was the day before that. i watched wicked yesterday and i liked it. look, it’s tomorrow