#just super annoyed that canada is only getting one show

[anotheryoutubefanpage]

And of course its only Toronto. Shocking

[michaels-two-dads]

I don’t plan on writing a fake marriage Ethubs fic because I’m not invested enough to do that but I do have a banger idea for one which I will happily share with the public:

Basically it’s a very stereotypical “I’ve been telling my coworkers I have a husband even though I’m actually single but they keep asking to meet him and now we’re having a company retreat and everyone else is bringing their significant others so now I need someone to be my fake husband at this company retreat” Where Bdubs is the one who has been lying about his fake husband who lives in Canada, so he posts like. A Craigslist ad for someone to be his fake husband and Etho is the one who takes the offer

But then the thing is Etho is like actually super hot and mysterious and Not ONLY that but he is actually a super famous red stone engineer?? Like very famous??? And Bdubs didn’t know that but when he introduces Etho to his coworkers everyone is like you’re telling me your husband is ETHOSLAB??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING HIM UP

And like in general it’s just like. Completely confusing to Bdubs why this guy ever agreed to this ad in the first place. Because he had no reason to and clearly doesn’t need money. (Little does he know that Etho is motivated PURELY by chaos and he agreed to do this because he thought it would be funny)

Etho was like. In the area to visit a friend or something and he had some time to kill and was like “sure why not”. (The friend is Cleo. She is one of Bdubs’s coworkers. She is aware of what is going on.) Etho would get sooo into it as well he would think it is sooo funny

And also everyone would be like “How did you manage to get a catch like Etho??” to Bdubs and it would make Bdubs SO annoyed. Like “EXCUSE ME I AM THE CATCH HERE. HE’S LUCKY TO HAVE ME!”

And the other thing is that this whole “company retreat” idea was a collective effort by Bdubs’s coworkers to get him to own up to the fact that he’s not actually married because they all KNOW he’s lying so then when he doubles down and ACTUALLY shows up with a husband a lot of people are like “Oh I guess he was telling the truth this whole time” but other people are still not convinced including Grian specifically who is determined to get them into more and more contrived situations to try and get them to break character however Bdubs is incredibly stubborn and Etho is incredibly committed to the bit

Anyways yeah I think this AU is very funny would love approval from the Ethubs enjoyers on this one

[pandorasword]

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

Chaeri's Masterlist

❒ Requested ✓

「 A compilation of Chaeri and Jungkook caught on camera 」

Video posted on YouTube by chaekooknation

Hello everyone, this is chaekooknation speaking! I'm back with a compilation of videos and super-zoomed images of how Chaeri and Jungkook act when they think they're not in front of the cameras I'd like to remind everyone that this is a video purely for the enjoyment of fans who, like me, believe there's something more than friendship between the two of them ♡

clip one ⸻ 🎬

⠪ September 2018; Canada ⠪ At that time the members were on tour for the 'Love yourself world tour' ⠪ After the last Canadian stage in Hamilton we know that they stayed a couple of days there before leaving for New Jersey ⠪ We know this in particular because of a dinner they had one of those evenings ⠪ We all remember videos and photos posted by the staff of one of the most exclusive restaurants there ⠪ These include a video of Chaeri and Jungkook that is a bit suspicious, don't you think? ⠪ When she noticed that someone from the restaurant staff was filming her having her hand on Jk's face she made a shocked expression ⠪ Sis, why be surprised? You live constantly on camera ⠪ Unless you were about to do something that others should not know about ⠪ Anyway, she became smooth again after a second and moved her hand to the back of his neck ⠪ SUS

clip two ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 22.04.2017; After a vlive ⠪ For this picture we have to credit our Jin hyung who posted them on weverse without them knowing ⠪ I quote the description "Armys our maknae stayed with you as long as she could. Can we all agree to scold Jungkook for not letting her sleep in peace? Turn off the lights!" ⠪ Chaeri and Jungkook had spent almost an hour chatting with us armys ⠪ "I am in Jungkookie's(hotel) room now, when we say goodnight to you I will go back to mine." ⠪ SHE NEVER DID!!!! ⠪ Isn't it adorable the way he keeps his arm around her body?

clip three ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2019; SBS Gayo Daejeon Music Festival ⠪ Photo taken by a group of fans from afar ⠪ Seems to be right after the show ended, probably they were waiting to leave ⠪ Fixing his coat is such an intimate and loving gesture ⠪ I wouldn't do it with just a friend. Would you do that? ⠪ Chaeri is always so caring, when it comes to him a little bit more ⠪ It was so cold that year, I'm sure she didn't want him to freeze ⠪ The way he looks at her!!!

clip four ⸻ 🎬

⠪ [BANGTAN BOMB] Meeting with Megan Thee Stallion pt2 | A night out

⠪ It was decided at the last minute there would be two Bangtan Bombs with the rapper: The first to meet her and the last to spend an evening together ⠪ Megan is amazing and beautiful, meeting her was a pleasure for all members, it's obvious ⠪ Chaeri might have been annoyed just for a moment perhaps ⠪ That way she tries to hold on to his coat and then retreat realizing she is being filmed makes me think (and laugh) ⠪ I don't think she felt threatened by Megan's beauty ⠪ Perhaps she was simply bored with all the attention she was giving Jungkook ⠪ Jealous Chaeri >>>>

clip five ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2016; ISAC ⠪ We had to zoom in a lot to get a good look at them ⠪ We remember the impact Chaeri had on the show, fighting to make the competitions mixed and no longer only for men or only for women ⠪ The camera was focusing on the other members, Chaeri and Jungkook could only be seen by those paying close attention ⠪ The way she hit the bull's eye of the target every time during the competition must have made Jungkook very proud ⠪ But do you see the way he looks at her at the end? ⠪ Google search: How to find someone who looks at you the way Jungkook looks at Chaeri

clip six ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2018; Mama in Hongkong (Backstage) ⠪ I loved how nonchalantly Chaeri spent the time before the performance eating rather than rehearsing ⠪ We know how much Chaeri hates to be bothered while she's eating, but this seems like an appreciated interference ⠪ Very low photo quality but we had to zoom in a lot too to make it clear who it was ⠪ The glasses Jungkook is wearing are seen back on her at the end of the video, during the goodbyes

clip seven ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2016; Suwon ⠪ At that time their fame was still growing, there were not as many armys as today ⠪ BLESSED SOUL, THOUGH, THAT FOUND HERSELF IN THE SAME PLACE WHERE THE MEMBERS DECIDED TO GO ICE-SKATING ⠪ I tell you, it was hard to find this video ⠪ They are totally in a world of their own ⠪ Don't you think JK teaching Chaeri anything is the best Jk? He is always so careful with her ⠪ She clearly terrified ⠪ I bet he wanted to burst out in laughter ⠪ I wish there were more moments of that day to share together

clip eight ⸻ 🎬

⠪ BTS in the soop; Season one ⠪ Is it just me or does it seem like they were kissing at first!? ⠪ The guys' cameramen give us joy every time and I don't think they even know about it ⠪ They were filming some of the boys outside the house but if you look carefully in one of the windows you can see these two silhouettes ⠪ To me it's obvious it's the two of them ⠪ What song do you think they were dancing to? ⠪ PLEASE we need to know

clip nine ⸻ 🎬

⠪ 2021; After the episode '131' of RUN BTS

⠪ If someone asked me to show them a video about love I would show them this

⠪ The fact that Jimin accidentally caught them behind him during his vlive makes it even cuter

⠪ This is how they act when they think the cameras are off

⠪ Chaeri smile with her eyes when she's close to her Jungkook

⠪ Who would touch her hair like that if not someone deeply in love?

⠪ We have to thank our Chaekook fan n1 Jimin for the video and the producers of RUN BTS for throwing water on them for all that time

⠪ Looks to me like she's also wearing a men's shirt…did he give it to her?

Thank you all for watching my video! It seems quite evident that there is something more between the two, what are your opinions? Stay tuned for more Chaekook videos Bye!

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

Last movie review of 2023, Migration!

Okay I think this might be one of the best animated movies of 2023! "Ruby Gillman Teenage Kraken" and "Under the Boardwalk" were the two best, and "Migration" and is the third best. These movies were so incredible and well done. I fell in love with the visuals and scenery, and the animation for Migration overall. The characters were definitely a 10/10 though! I mostly loved how Gwen was more than just the cute sidekick, but she was the cute sidekick who was also sassy and a little bit daring too. Her brother (i think his name was Dax?) was an optimistic and daring character too! He was fearless and also a good character too. I really loved how they focused on Pam and Mac as well, and made them good parents but also showed their struggles on protecting the family. Pam was so optimistic, she kind of reminded me Ginger from Chicken Run. She was such an icon! My favorites had to be Pam and Gwen! I also loved Delroy and Uncle Dan! They were so funny! Awkwafina also played a unique character too (she voiced a tough greaser pigeon).

I also would like to talk about the villain's design and personality. He didn't speak, they just had an evil chef who just growled and tried to get the ducks. They didn't show much human interactions in the movie but the only bad human was the chef character. He looked like the a super rich chef guy, with gold on him and stuff (He had white hair with gold bands). I liked his funny face too! Also, the other humans didn't seem to be that bad either, it was one person who wanted to eat the ducks. They weren't portraying all the humans as animal-eating monsters.

Another thing is that the art style and everything looked a little different from Illumination's usual movies, seeing really big eyed cartoony birds that were the main focus. Dreamworks, Illumination, and Aardman are dethroning Disney and I'm all here for it! I hope Ghibli does too when the "Boy and the Heron" dub comes out. I'm just happy that Illumination is going to be known for something other than annoying minions. Also, before you say anything, the short film that was before Migration WAS a Despicable Me one but it focused more on that Vector guy and him getting off the moon, as well as showing the minions as comic relief which was fine (tbh Vector himself is funnier). Seeing that animated short made me think of when Disney used to do stuff like that, and I'm happy that Illumination did that. I mostly just enjoyed Migration and I think it was beautiful!

Last of all, the thing I loved most was probably that salsa dance scene when they played that Beyonce song that goes like, "I'm a survivor" but it was a jazzy version of it and it just blended with the movie so well! Whoever chose that song deserves a raise! Also, that was such a cute scene between Mac and Pam. I love how they showed that adults have flaws once in a while, and focus on the adult ducks as much as the kids. This movie was so so cute!

Into 2024, I'm hoping that I would get to see the movie "Butterfly Tale", which according to my best friend who's in Canada and got to see it (I'm an unfortunate American who missed out). If you have any info about Butterfly Tale, please tell me! The best movies this year I'd say are Butterfly Tale, Ruby Gillman, Migration, and Under the Boardwalk. Tell me YOUR favorite animated movies of 2023! Go on! Don't be afraid to express your opinion in my comments, even if it's different from mine!

[sushisocks]

so sorry for this weird ask, i have no idea what else i can try to find this out but you seem like a sean expert. im trying to figure out the year he left ireland, and for that i need his age in 1899.

so, how old do you think sean is?

GOD, this is such a good question, not a weird ask at all, and one I could go on FOREVER about. The question as to Sean's age is one which HAUNTS me, given the ambiguity of it. However we DO have some hints to go off.

First off, we can assume Sean is younger than Arthur, going off his line about Sean being like 'an annoying younger brother' to him. We also can assume he's younger than John, as John refers to him as 'kid' in the game. Javier, who seems to be around John's age as well, also refers to Sean as his 'little friend', most likely referencing the other's age. In that same vein, we can assume Sean is older than Lenny, who he calls kid - and who is the ONLY one Sean calls kid, besides Jack of course.

That all leaves us in an age range of the early to mid 20s - 20-25 is where I usually have him. I also usually veer towards the lower end of that spectrum tbh, and that is in large part because of how he is characterized and clearly supposed to be read. There's not only just a need to prove oneself, but also a youthful exuberance & arrogance to Sean we only really see mirrored in Lenny, though it shows differently between the two it is all CLEARLY there for both of them. And the way Sean treats Lenny as a peer, while still calling him 'kid' at almost every opportunity, very much reads as 'heheh, I am (barely) older than you and finally get to call someone kid instead of being called it' you know?

There's also the matter of his friendship with Mary-Beth, who is presumably about 21-22 like Arthur asked her. The fact that Sean asks her to go with him robbing that one stagecoach is in my opinion a hint of him seeing her as peer as well.

So, like, narratively, characteristically, he SHOULD for all intents and purposes probably be around 21-23. That's what makes sense to me, at least.

WHAT THEN GETS ME is, as you say, when did he leave Ireland?? Because, okay, let's talk about daddy dearest Darragh for a second!!

Note of his death is published in 1889! A full decade before the events of the game!! Which is SUPER surprising considering how Sean talks about him, but also makes it clearer why it's easier for him to speak about him so lightly - that loss has been well-mourned by now, though it makes the fact that Sean speaks so much of him even more tragic imho. They were CLOSE, Darragh was probably Sean's BEST friend growing up, and losing him at that age would've SUCKED so so much!! 10-13 is a very rough age bracket to lose your only guardian and to deal with the amount of upheaval Sean does in the time after.

The timeline given us by the newspaper scrap we can find at Clemens Point is somewhat incongruent with what I found when it came to the history of Fenian activity in Ireland in the 1800s. While there was a Fenian Rising, it was very much in 1867, and I could not find Galway having any significant role to play during it, compared to Dublin, for example. This means we can assume this Fenian Uprising spoken of in the scrap to be a fabrication on R*'s behalf. The Fenian Raids into Canada were VERY much a thing, and in 1866 there even was one in Ridgeway, right by Niagara Falls, as mentioned in the news scrap - though I found a higher death count for the incident on Wikipedia lol

So that gives us a little bit of a timeline! Darragh sets Galway on fire in 1860, fucks off to the US to join a Fenian Raid into Canada, presumably intended to be R*'s version of the Battle of Ridgeway, before eventually RETURNING to Ireland and getting involved in politics as an Irish Republican. What a complicated ass backstory for a character who doesn't even show up in the game beyond his name lmfao

ANYWAY furthermore, the newspaper scrap says the law has been hunting him for years. I mean, that makes sense, given how much back and forth he does over the decades. Let's for arguments' sake say Darragh stayed in the US for a little while before returning to Ireland and getting involved in the political landscape, and that Sean was born ca 1878. Maybe Darragh starts seeing the need to hide some years later; as his past starts closing in on him. They hide out for a while in different locations around Ireland, before the law finds them in Clifden, and THAT'S presumably what makes Darragh flee to the US. We don't know how long the manhunt lasted, but since they'd not gotten past Boston, and specifically quoting Sean's 'we never got that new start' line when talking about his past, I think it's fair to say that they weren't in the US for very long before Darragh died. THOUGH I'd argue they were there long enough for Darragh to lower his shoulders and sleep soundly enough to not hear someone sneak into his bedroom. Also, long enough for him to have found a residence for him and Sean to stay in. So, I'd say they might've had a year or so in the US together?

Now, taking into account the time frame it might've taken for news to get back to the UK, and for it to then be printed, I think it's not unreasonable to believe Darragh died in late 1888, or early 1889. Which means he and Sean probably arrived in the US in the latter half of 1887, while Sean was 9-10.

Anyway, if you're wondering if this changes my thoughts in regard of how long I think Sean was in reform school, I think yeah maybe!! But I still don't think he was there more than 2-3 years max lol. Idk why I thought Sean was older when Darragh died, but the math & research I've now done contradicts that assumption for sure!!

Thank you for the ask!! I definitely went OFF, and if you find my timeline doesn't work for you, that's completely fine!! I had a lot of fun looking into this anywho, and if any one part of it helps you out, that's more than good enough for me!!!!

[gaybd1]

Please explain this crush situation, it sounds like good drama!

lmao I don’t think?? I’ve posted about it before but it’s not THAT interesting I promise

also SO sorry but Due To The Autusm I don’t know how NOT to make this a Long Story

let’s see…

so the thing about communities of expats/immigrants/foreigners is that there are ALWAYS people coming and going but for a while here I had a really tight group of friends I met through work and we did EVERYTHING together. We’ll call them J, N, and B. All around my age. J was a guy from Canada, N an American guy, and B a South African girl.

N, bless his soul, has always been the most OBVIOUSLY gay guy but has wayyyyy too much internalized homophobia to deal with it so compensated by being wayyyy too into women, you know? But also he had a collection of 300 perfumes and reviewed them on YouTube lol so

ANYway he was in one really weird relationship with some girl we never even got to meet for a while and then he met Z, who started hanging out with all of us. She was always so great and they were so cute together.

So eventually J (the coolest guy, we always watched hockey together) moved back to Canada and N and Z left to go work for the summer on a ranch in the US. The tentative plan was for N to stay there because he’d always been very vocal about hating Taiwan but Z was gonna kind of play it by ear. I figured they were gonna get married, they’d already been together a couple years and had a very strong relationship

Anyway idk what happened but the minute N stepped back on American soil, his inner asshole started to show. He just became this horrible annoying person I didn’t really want anything to do with, so I haven’t talked to him much since.

I kept in touch with Z who was having a terrible time with him. He all of a sudden broke up with her in a REALLY shitty way and she moved back here. Then he moved to like Bolivia or something idk.

So then Z, B, and I were still here. B is always busy or super depressed (no judgment) so I hardly ever see her, so Z and I started hanging out alone.

It was a LITTLE awkward at first bc I only ever hung out with her through N?? But actually we got along so great and hang out as much as we can now

That’s cool, that’s fine, but I started feeling this attraction to her and this chemistry between us that suggested it… could? be mutual?? Like there were definitely signals, especially the time we went through the haunted house together wow

We had a couple discussions that were like “okay so I guess we’re both technically pretty pansexual” so it would hypothetically work ((I DO strongly id as gay but my attitude is anything’s possible u know?))

A while after that I invited her to an open mic I was performing at and sang girl crush about her asfjljdzhk

Then we had a discussion where she was basically like “I don’t date friends” which is super fair but also we still weren’t talking about us specifically

Anyway that was several months ago and my feelings have def toned down since then (also her work schedule sucks so we don’t see each other that often) and like. idk I’ve done this once before about having a crush on someone I got in super well with and then missing my chance (that person ended up dating our other friend and they’ve been together like 5 years now rip) but this also isn’t something I’m super active or serious about right now????

[lestappenwdc]

Monaco unserious race overview

A very late race overview that beats the purpose of this being my first impression thoughts after a race. But this was a special one so you'll forgive me if I needed some time to be able to write words about it. So let's get right to it:

1. Ferrari

IT HAPPENED. I know it's been a week since it happened but I just couldn't find the words to do this earlier. I think that everything that needed to be said has been said by people way more articulate than me. All I have to say is I'm so fucking proud of him. We yap and yap and yap on here about him and we waste our words on how good he is and we cry and we scream and we get angry on race days and we cry some more but I just want to say it is all worth it. Last Sunday showed it was all worth it for him!!! I have never felt such joy in my entire life. And I'm proud of him. A CASA TUA CHARLES has been ringing in my head for a week and every time j hear it I Tear up all over again. It's... all just too much.

He was perfect. The weekend was perfect. He was faultless and he made it seem easy. It is not easy. He's just that good!!!! And I'm so proud of him.

Moving on, Carlos actually knows how to act like a teammate. It only took him 3 years but he got there. Good for him but he will not get praised for doing what he was supposed to anyway on this blog. He will however get me rooting for him on one (1) gp of my choice. Maybe his home race. Maybe when Charles is set to get an engine penalty. We'll see. I will choose.

2. McLaren

Oscaaaaaarrrrrrrrraaaaaaa Monaco podium for Oscar in his second race there I am so so so so so proud of him as well. He got better at tyre management, he did an amazing lap, he beat Lando on pure speed and he was so calm and collected through the entire thing. Knew when to push and when to give up. Just a super amazing race from him.

Lando was OK as well. But Oscar bear him fair and square. He was faster all weekend actually. The only time Lando will get praise on this blog is if I can't help it. Otherwise no words will be said. He was OK I guess.

So McLarens updates are strong on 3 circuits now. I'm really curious to see where this goes. Still think Ferrari have a better package overall but at least we can be sure to have some amazing battles up there with Ferrari and McLaren (and Max)

3. Mercedes

Ok so Mercedes were actually not that bad this weekend. I mean they were better than usual. And this is the second race in a row that I've said this. However I think its not gonna last. George did great, Lewis drove the car without complaining (mostly) all is good in the world of Mercedes. Except Toto Wolff, that guy still needs therapy.

Red Bull and the rest of the grid under the cut

5. Red Bull

Oh Maxie. Poor Maxie stuck behind George for 78 laps. And he needed to pee. And he didn't get to grab the chaist on the podium. I can just imagine how annoyed he was at this whole situation. And the car was bad? On top of everything? Poor poor Maxie. He will be back next race tho I'm sure of it. Can't wait to see his pretty eyes and pretty smile on the podium again in Canada.

I'm so happy Checo is OK after that horrible crash I was so scared when I saw the car like that. Thank god for the safety measures. And also thank god the photographers are OK. When I said last time that I had a feeling Checo would be mags next victim I didn't mean like this. This was too much. They deffinitely should have given him a penalty and not only because I want to see Ollie again. Checo also handled the whole situation with a lot of dignity. Good for him.

6. RB

Yuki crushed it once again. The guy is on a roll. I don't want to jinx anyone but WOW. YUKI. This entire weekend was Charles and Yukis on different sides of the field. I wish he had a chance for that red bull seat because he would be amazing in it. I don't want him to go to Aston at this point I'd rather he stay in RB than go to Aston. But for now I'm just enjoying his races and enjoying watching him because he is really amazing.

Daniel was there too..... I think

7. Williams

Oh what an amazing result for Williams. Alex got his first points, Logan had lots of firsts:

1. Outqualified a red bull (🥳🥳🥳)

2. Finished where he started (🥳🥳🥳)

3. Had one of the only 4 overtakes in the entire race (🥳🥳🥳)

4. Did all of it with the 2023 rear wing (🥳🥳🥳)

I mean for him this is equal to a win. Good job. Williams and James can go to hell for not being able to assemble a full car for him half of the races. An embarrassment to the sport. Williams can't afford 2 functioning cars and Andretti are the team that would bring nothing to the sport? Please. I'm ashamed yet alone them.

8. Alpine

PIERRE GASLY HAS A POINT AFTER ALMOST BEING TAKEN OUT IN A CIVIL WAR THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🎊

Idk why but I am so happy when Alpine do anything this season. Maybe it's the underdog thing bc of the start of their season. I just like the drivers so much more now that they've been through it with the car lol. Plus their little French war of the baguettes is extremely entertaining. And the fact that the team has stopped pretending that they get along is even more entertaining. I love them they are comedy gold 😂😂 they were gonna punish Esteban by not letting him race lol. You can't tell me that's not a little funny.

9. Sauber

The only reason they are 9 and not 10 is because they finished the race. But they are sooooo slow. Like how can a team be so slow in a race where driving slow is better and one of your drivers holds the fastest lap for 90% of the race? I don't know. I just know that they managed it somehow. I'm sure Valtteri and Zhou were happy for the red flag tho, any race with no pitstops is a good race in their book. Imagine how dead last they would have been if there were pitstops. I cant it's too funny.

10. Haas

The horrors came and they didn't leave the Haas drivers. Although some of the horrors were their own doing. I knew kmags antics would end up badly one race no matter how much we laughed. The stewards deciding to not punish him goes against the very thing the point system was designed for. For drivers to not decide to randomly take out cars every other race in order to gain positions thus putting everyone around them in danger.

I know I always used to say I loved kmag this year but I was simply too scared when I saw Checos car like that and he was to blame for all of it and I'm still to recover for it. It stops being funny when people start getting hurt. That's that. (I know Checo was fine but a photographer got hurt and that's equally as bad)

Sorry for Hulk.

[ray-rabies]

It’s ya secret boiiiii back at it again!

I would love to see Todd live, I wish he’d tour outside of the US, but it seems to me nobody knows who he is elsewhere (that is not true but he doesn’t have as big of a following) I kinda liked his 2017 album, it kinda went a little hard at times, catchy if you will.

That’s really cool! Must take a lot of your time though right! Any plays you’d like to work on?

Now, I saw your tags about the sicko people, and I’d love to see some sicko people shit! Sometimes we need that sick depraved shit (not like Sàlo sick, but like funny sicko, tho this differs from person to person ofc!) and where does the line draw for you? I do not know myself, and especially in a tumblr context, as long as you’re being original about it, I’m into it!

As we in the last month of the year, we’ve experienced 11 months of this peculiar year, you seem to be someone with an eclectic taste. So what are some of the music, movie, books, tv show, et that you’ve come across this year you will keep on for a long time?

Also do you wish for me to write you daily, or wait a little in between, I do not want to be annoying, tho I might be without trying, haha…

Buona giornata! - SRS

Yeah, he'll do a couple shows in Europe and Canada and maybe Japan once in a while but it's infrequent. I know touring overseas gets very expensive very quick. In the words of Sparks and Franz Ferdinand, collaborations don't work. Except when they do. I have like no lines unless it's just like straight up bigotry. I'll joke about eating people and whatever who cares. This does not go over well with most people as it would happen! I'm fairly quiet online but free to be fully unhinged in private messages, as it should be. Some of my favourite books from this year were Andy: A Real Life Fantasy by Typex and Your Inner Fish by Neal Schubin. I watched Hausu yesterday which was visually very interesting but can't say it was a *good* movie; I mostly watch 'cult' films or whatever. Something weird that only a handful of people seemed to get then not shut up about. I disliked A Clockwork Orange though loved its design and music. I enjoyed Angel's Egg for its haunting bleak atmosphere though it's very slow paced and obviously not for everyone, same could go for Heart of a Dog. I watched plenty others but they haven't stood out as much I guess or it was too long ago for me to recall, various documentaries, several horror films. Number one film for this year has to be the beautiful Paris Is Burning or Pink Flamingos- which is Absolutely not for everyone. It Is as Nasty as they say! I try to listen to new albums often so it's hard to narrow it down to even a handful really. If I had to pick just one for this year maybe Rings Around The World by Super Furry Animals, as I played it an obnoxious amount and still enjoy it.

Write however much you want, whatever probing questions you have. Sono un libro aperto.

[lightleckrereins]

✨Story time✨

Its early 2022, Elisabeth and I have been talking for a little over a year at this point and are slowly descending into creating a shorthand that only we understand. (Mix the literature kid with the spreadsheet kid and thats what you get). At that point six has announced a tour launching from the Chicago sit down return. So it is tour or six tour if there is another show being mentioned at the same time or more important NAT for North American tour because PR has made a point of using that instead of US tour. And the thing with calling it North American tour is that it says they are going outside of the US. Meaning Canada, until super recently its always just Canada.

Except north america has a third cooler country. And me being me (mexican on main and operating at least partially on spite half of the time) I'm making a point of using NAT instead of tour. Because hope of a cdmx stop is still not dead to this day. And it is an angry sure lets call it North American tour and pretend its just two countries. Its a thing.

And then the Boleyn tour gets announced and NAT stops being enough to specify which tour. Problem is typing Aragon tour and Boleyn tour in full over and over is annoying. And it ommits the NAT part of it. So after exactly one week of that this excange happens.

And the rest is history.

Also my question of the day is why has no one asked what it means in over 2.5 years because I know we have both used it in posts more than once and never explained it.

Hello, just wondering what does BNAT stands for?

it's what I use to refer to the Boleyn Tour! stands for Boleyn North American Tour

[honeyquinns]

SURPRISE BIRTHDAY

joseph quinn x fem!reader

summary: reader is throwing a surprise birthday party for her boyfriend joseph of 3 years. because she’s being so secretive, joseph finds it sus and becomes upset with her until he gets surprised.

warnings: none! just fluff & a little hint of smut <3

a/n: i haven’t written books or fics since around 2016 so please bare with me :’) but i hope you all like it.

——

“balloons? check. food? check. alcohol? cheeeck. guests? check. cake?…. shit” you say to yourself as you’re going through the list of things for Joseph’s 29th birthday. you’ve been together for 3 years and have always done something super special and fun for each other’s special days. this was your first time planning a surprise birthday party and you usually aren’t so great at keeping secrets but this is so special, you wanted it to be perfect and it was already… aside from not having the cake. you woke him up with breakfast in bed and gave him one simple tiny present, a new rolex. something that would go great with his outfit tonight. just the thought of his beautiful face and bubbly personality reacting to the surprise you’ve been planning for months, made you excited and smile to yourself. “love, who are you talking to?” you jump as you hear Joseph pulling you out of your thoughts. “huh?.. nobody. just uh, thinking out loud.” you say. “..are you alright?” he says concerned. “lately you’ve been so distracted and talking to yourself more than usual and i’m a bit worried. you know you can talk to me right?” he walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your body and setting his head on top of yours. you got slightly offended that he called you out on your habit of talking to yourself but you couldn’t help but thinking less of that snuggled into him more, melting his arms feeling comforted that he’d be so worried and also just love to be in his arms. “i’m fine. don’t worry about anything it’s just been… a lot of things i’ve had to get done. but it’s your birthday and today is about you so i will finish all i have to do and tonight i will be dedicated to you only.” you turned around so your arms are now wrapped around his waist, rubbing your thumb slightly on his back and him staring down at you, still holding you in his arms. you see he seems slightly annoyed but instead he slightly rubs his nose against yours “dedicated to me? i love the sound of that,” he says as you leaves a light but sweet kiss on your cheek. “you know, i know exactly how we can start off the night of dedication.” you laugh pushing him back and grabbing your jacket and purse, remembering you have to get the cake before everyone shows up. “you are sooo freaky you know that?,” you both laugh. “you still have to go meet Jamie at exactly- *you look down at your watch* 5 minutes ago. yeah you should go” he eyes widened knowing he was going to be late and would have to deal with Jamie’s sassiness that was exactly pretty funny a lot of the times. “shit!-“ he yelled and quickly grabbed his wallet and phone and ran over back to you and pecked you on the lips. “i’ll see you tonight. i love you & can’t wait for a full night of dedication and spending it in your arms” he says smirking and leaving a kiss on your neck, heading toward the door. “i love you. see you tonight and don’t forget your new shirt for tonight either!” you yell as he quickly ran out, waving his hand and shutting the door already knowing he’ll be at least 30 minutes late to hang with Jamie. you had no idea how you’d get Joseph out of the house for a few hours until Jamie told you he’d be home for a few weeks before going back to Canada to film a new movie and knew he would be the perfect person for the job. Joseph and Jamie became close friends long before you and joe had met. when you had auditioned for a minor role in a movie, you met Jamie and he ended up introducing you to Joseph, saying you’d be perfect for one another and the rest was history.

You head for the door, hoping to find a really good cake on such short notice. you head to a bakery called ‘Bros Bakery’, you and Joe’s favorite place to go and have little date mornings. you walk in and are greeted by Sal, one of the owners, “hey y/n! how’s it going? i haven’t seen you here in a while” he says. which is true, with all the interviews you’ve been doing to promote your new film and Joseph traveling back and forth to the UK for work and seeing his family, you haven’t had the time to really see Sal and his brother Andy, the co-owner. “hey Sal! i know it’s been so super crazy with work and Joe just in and out of the UK. we’ve really missed you guys honestly.” he smiled warmly. “we’ve missed you guys too. now what can i do for you? Teresa just baked some fresh pumpkin bread.” you contemplated but you knew you still had 2 1/2 more hours until Jamie came back to house with Joe to surprise him. “you know what? i might take you up on that but you know it’s joseph’s birthdaaay and of course..” he stops you mid sentence, “you forgot the cake? no worries. we already had the cake made.” you both laugh “i knew i could count on you guys. i have to move quick and set up everything before everyone comes tonight” you say tiredly. “it’s no problem. you’ve been planning this for months so Teresa whipped up a nice vanilla cake with butter cream for you” he says enthusiastically. “ugh thank you so much Sal i really appreciate it. are you guys still able to come tonight?” you ask. “oh yeah definitely! me and Andy will be there but Teresa can’t, she has her kids tonight. but hey, how about we bring over the pumpkin bread. it’ll be on the house for the sake of the party. i know how much you kids like it!” Sal says. they’ve always been so genuine treating you and Joe like one of their own. “hell yeah of course. cant say no to that. i’ll see you guys tonight.” he wraps up the cake for you in a box, adding a little bow on top for a little razzle dazzle and you rush quickly home to set up for the party.

it’s now 7:30pm and everyone is here. Joe K, Maya, Charlie and Natalia, of course Jamie’s girlfriend Jess, Gaten, Caleb, and a lot of you and his closest friends. Jamie and Joseph would be here 8pm so everyone just sat and talked, eating some of the food your best friend b/f/n made and brought over. you were grateful that everyone cared so much and would help you at anytime. you walk over to your best friend sitting next to them on the couch and sighed tiredly. “what’s wrong y/n?” she says turning to you, raising an eyebrow. “just tired is all. i’ve planned and worked consistently for this night and i’m just hoping Joe loves it. lately we’ve just had small fights because he feels like i’m hiding something and i didn’t want to tell him about the surprise so i said it’s just work. i feel like he doesn’t really believe it. you said calmly but annoyed.” you and Joseph never liked to have fights especially with something a little as a distraction. when you both discussed the situation a couple weeks ago, it didn’t go too well. he had been ignoring you most of the day and when you finally confronted him, he asked if you were cheating. you were flabbergasted that he could even think you would do that but understood at the same time since you were consistently on your phone making plans with b/f/n. you told him that you would never cheat on him and that should never be a thought in his mind. you said it’s just been work, filming all hours of the night and it’s been taking a mental toll on you. you didn’t actually lie per say, it was true but you just wanted this birthday to be so fun, you just decided to make him worry… probably wasn’t the best thing to do but hey! anything for a good party. “he’s gonna love it. he’s gonna forget all about the tiny little arguments you’ve had once you buss it down on him when we leave.” b/f/n says and you scream laughing with her. “omfg you’re wild.” you say even though she’s not technically wrong. you look at the time and see that it’s 8pm and notice a text from Jamie saying they’re coming up the elevator now. you and b/f/n head to the kitchen/sitting area of your home and get ready to surprise him. “okay guys!!- you yell, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Jamie said they’re coming up now so everyone hide! i’m turning out the lights.” everyone heads to a different part of the kitchen, a few hide behind the love seats and weirdly enough but not surprising, Gaten and Caleb hide in the closet. you all hear the keys jiggle and the door sqeaks open. “y/n!” Joseph says. “hm i wonder where she is, we have go to dinner soon.” Jamie walks past him toward the kitchen, searching for the light. “text her and find out.” he says going along with the plan and as Joseph is walking into the kitchen, Jamie cuts on the light and you all jump out and yell “SURPRISEEEEE!!”. the reaction Joseph has is unbelievable. he’s so dramatic so he screams as loud as possible, in the funniest way and has the biggest smile on his face, eyes popping out of his head like a little kid. “NO WAAAY!” he yells. he starts hugging and greeting all of your friends and runs over to you, hugs you and slightly lifts you up kissing your lips. “is this what you’ve been working on for the past 3 months y/n?” he says, eyes still wide with the biggest smile. “yes-“ you say matching his energy, “i could barely keep the secret even through all the little tantrums and arguments but i’m so glad you love it” you say giving him 2 pecks on the lips. he grabs ahold of your face giving you a longer, deeper kiss that just feels like love. “of course i love it. although i do feel a tad bit bad that i was so upset with you and accusing you of things when in reality you were planning the most amazing thing ever for me and i love you so much and i’m sorry.” he hugs you tightly, both of you rocking side to side “don’t apologize my love. you weren’t wrong to feel the way you did but forget about all that. this is your party and everyone’s here so let’s just enjoy it.” you kiss him again and you both go to enjoy the party.

after 3 fun hours of alcohol, loud music, presents, and singing happy birthday everyone heads home and you start cleaning up everything as Joseph walks out of the bathroom. “oh you’re still up, drunky?” you ask him. you’re both pretty drunk but alert enough to clean and carry a conversation. “i feel like i’m missing a birthday present” he walks over to you slowly and takes a few paper plates from you and throwing them in the trash. “what do you mean?” you start looking around, thinking you genuinely forgot a present but apparently not alert enough to realize what he means. “i mean the dedication- he wraps his arms around your waist and starts kissing down your neck. “i still have 2 more hours of my birthday and i think this is the perfect way to end it” you grin a bit and lift up his head from your neck and start kissing him. “ohhh-“ you hold his face looking lustfully, in his eyes as he is to you “well i guess i have to keep my promises” you both smirk and start kissing again, making out at this point and walking toward your bedroom. he pushes you down on the bed and you both start taking each other’s clothes off. a bunch of ‘i love yous’ and plenty of names being called, you and Joseph ended his birthday in the most electrifying way possible.

side note: i hope you guys like it<3 just a little something while i’m still working on Club Hellfire but i will be posting little blurbs in the process just for funzies <3

[hetalia-reacts]

PLATONIC HEADCANINS !! PLATONIC HEADCANONS !! HOW ABOUT- a doting touchy-feely PLATONC reader with the allies?? Friendship headcanons :3 (do Axis if u can but PLEASE don't do that if you are tired or busy PLEASE don't ♡♡:))

America

I feel Alfred is also a bit of a touchy-feely kind of friend too

Especially with best friends and whatnot

Is either always at your house or telling you to come to his

He just wants to watch movies or play video games with you

Heck he just wants to exist in the same room with his bestie

Will Alfred wake you up at 3am to do something with him?

Yes

Y’all will either be doing mundane things like going on a store run or literally committing a crime

There is N O in between

Since the both of you are both touchy-feely and likely clinging to each other you bet you’ve gotten the same question 1000x

“Are you two dating?”

You both either go for the ewww hell no or a straight faced but sarcastic yes we totally are

But it’s 50/50 if you both actually go for the same response

It’s a game at this point to see if you guys can read each other’s minds

You guys usually make an awkward situation for the person that asked because one will say yes and the other says eww and neither of you will back down and explain that you guys are just sarcastic and teasing jerks lmao

England

Arthur isn’t the most touchy person so having a friend that is can be tough sometimes

He does appreciate the hugs and physical comfort/support but he just gets kinda awkward

Well at first anyways

When you are certified besties he’s used to it and one can often find him gravitating towards you to just be close

Will never admit he likes it though sorry he’s a hard head

No one dares ask either of y’all that dreaded question though because they don’t want to deal with his sarcasm and the lecture that’s sure to follow

Arthur is a chill bestie though

Often invites you over to just be together

He doesn’t care if it’s just to talk, do something, or simply enjoy the presence of someone else

Help him cook maybe?

Even if you suck at cooking he enjoys attempting to cook with someone else

And that also means having fun in the kitchen and being complete dorks the whole time

And also having to order food or eat a sandwich because unless you can cook it’s going to be inedible

Will make you watch and read Sherlock, even if he has to be there or read it to you it’s happening

France

Francis is very touchy as a friend unless he knows someone dislikes it

So having a bestie that is like him is perfect

People probably think y’all are glued together at this point

No one would ever think y’all are dating either because Francis acts completely different with his bestie than a love interest

He’s kind of a mean ass ngl

He likes to jokingly bicker and fight with you

And definitely likes to cling and be dramatic with you to the point it’s annoying to others

Francis drags you with him everywhere

His house, the gym, the store, England’s house, etc

He cant just go alone anymore it would feel wrong like he’s forgetting something

If you’re bad at dressing or have no style he’s got your back

Literally shops for you but also constantly says things like you’ll never look as good as him

You are also one fo the few that will ever see Francis get serious or down in the dumps

It’s just something he doesn’t wear on his sleeve and reserves for those closest to him

Canada

Matthew is not used to having people cling to him

He’s not really used to having people notice him so having a someone that’s his bestie, that notices him the most, and always clings and talks to him is a strange and wild concept

Doesn’t mind the touchiness and honestly rather prefers it

He’s kinda touch starved :/

Matthew is likely always at your house with Kumajirou

Movie marathon and cuddles yo

Also as his closest friend you come to see his ‘secret’ side of being sarcastic and a complete savage

This boy does not hold back with you either

Maybe at first he did but when he realized y’all are in this friend stuff for life he won’t censor or sugar coat things if it’s not necessary

Makes you play and watch hockey with him

Will teach you everything if you know nothing

Matthew is the type of friend to invite you to his families holidays/vacations and come to yours

He knows and is cool with basically all of your family

I mean who could hate or dislike this polite boy?

Russia

Ivan is not used to friendship either as people usually tremble in fear before him

so having a friend that is touchy on top of having a close friend can be a bit much at times

But he’s happy!

He loves the hugs! Loves the contact! Loves having a friend!

Loves cuddles most of all he won’t lie, Ivan loves the feeling of comfort and support when you cuddle him

People do often assume you two are dating because most people assume someone would only put up with him if they were in love with him

Neither of you mind the rumors since y’all know the truth

Ivan is the sweetest friend

He shows up unannounced with food or groceries all the time

Always helping you out without being asked

Like oh your washing machine broke I fixed it/bought you a new one already or oh you suck at this let me explain it and teach it to you

Does this completely unprompted

He’s always over at yours or always inviting you over to his

Wants to do classic friend things?

Like things he sees in movies and shows that friends do a lot or things he’s overheard from others

Late night store runs, hanging out at parks, showing up unannounced to crash at your place, those kind of things

You’re the only person he confides in, you know all his secrets, his sadness, everything

Honestly, Ivan is the person who needs a touchy-feely friend the most out of everyone

China

Yao is happy about having a touchy friend but will always play like he hates it

Not in like a tsundere “I totally d-don’t need friends baka” kind of way but a really dramatic “omg I can’t believe you’re so obsessed with me haha loser” kind of way

He’s only joking of course and apologizes if you get hurt by his teasing or he crosses a line

Only a brave few would try and ask if y’all are more than friends

They have to listen to a lecture with an angry Yao explaining that people can be close and not want to date and how immature and inappropriate they’re being

Totally the type of friend that mothers you

Constantly says you look skinnier than last time and forces you to eat because he’s worried for you

Will not sugar coat anything for you

If you ask for his advice then I’m sorry but you’re gonna get it even if it makes you cry or get mad

Yao wants you over at his constantly

He’s lonely man ㅠㅠ

And he doesn’t want to leave the comfort of his house

Expect a lot of his gifts for your birthday/holiday to be cute plushies he found

Germany

Ludwig act differently depending on when y’all become besties

Like before Italy, he’s nervous, confused, and slightly annoyed by all the touching and notion of being besties

If it’s after Italy he’s used to all the touchiness and has figured out how to show his friendship to you in other ways

Like making you things! Or simply inviting you to hang out!

Ludwigs is always gonna be a bit awkward though

Always shy about hanging out and inviting you over

Many people assume you two to be dating because of his awkwardness but he is the first to start defending your friendship and it’s pure nature

He develops a sixth sense and now answers people’s questions about the two of you without even looking at them

He can just feel the nasty vibes

Asks you to do mundane things with him

Like shopping or even chores

Asks you to come bake with him a lot

It was embarrassing at first since not many people know his love of making sweets but he’s over that now

I know I say this a lot, but please work out with him _(:3 」∠)_

My guy just wants a work out buddy, a spotter, a n y t h i n g just please pick up the smallest dumbbell and pretend you want to work out

If you ask for advice expect him to be straight to the point about it but comfort you afterwards

Italy

Feliciano is a god tier bestie if your touchy-feely

Doesn’t matter if that touchy-feely emotionally and/or physically he’s down for both

Like please hold his hand, hug him, give him head pats, cheek kisses or any form affection really

No one even thinks anything of it, it’s just Feliciano being himself

If anyone did ask if you were dating he might get self-conscious of his actions, he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or like he was trying to be something more with you

He’s easy to calm down though

Feliciano invites you out all the time

Restaurants, wine tastings, farmers markets, gondola rides, just about anything he can think of that he thinks you would like to do

Always at your house

He eats all of your food too, but he makes you some in return so it’s okay

Gives really good advice

Like for his bestie he’ll get super serious and thoughtful about your issues, even spending days thinking of solutions

Tries not to sugar coat things for you but ends up doing just that

He doesn’t want to make his friend cry or even more anxious

Will comfort you though if you are upset about anything he’s said and apologizes profusely for it too

Japan

Kiku is overall one of the ones who needs a touchy bestie but is the most challenging with receiving or giving the touchiness back

He’s a man who enjoys personal space and alone time, so he’s honestly surprised anyone considers him a true best friend

He knows he can get a bit feisty and shut himself away when he gets uncomfortable and that makes it hard to truly befriend him

But he’s really happy you stick around and deal with his awkwardness and rejection of your affection

Tries his hardest to at least accept your friendly affection

No one would dare ask if you two are flirting or together because my god it’s taking so much of his effort to just sit less than 2 feet away from you at the start so they don’t want to ruin his progress by making it awkward

Kiku definitely asks for your opinion on anime and manga

Gets into heated debates with you over certain ones

Is shy but asks you to come over a lot

Likes to have tea and snacks with you while you guys talk

Y’all can talk for literally a whole day

You sleepover a lot, he insists and even got you your own futon with a cool custom cover

Gifts you a kotatsu at some point because he loves them and he thinks you should enjoy them all the time too

When he gets over a lot of shyness he loves when you do simple forms of affection with him

Like ruffling his hair or holding onto his arm or even just leaning against him

He enjoys those the most since they aren’t too physical and mentally taxing on him and it still let you physically express your friendship with him like you love to do

If you ask for advice either get prepared for a harsh wake up call or a stumbling mess of words

It’s 50/50 if Kiku gives you the stone cold truth or tries to spare your feelings

As your friend he thinks you deserve the truth but he doesn’t want his harsh advice to ruin your mood or make you hate him

[haehaeming]

100 random facts about SJ members that may or may not help you with your FF

Or if you’re just... bored

1. Eunhyuk doesn’t like finger prints on screens, glasses, etc... It’s a little thing I find cute

2. Kyuhyun was a fan of SJ’s music before debuting with them

3. Leeteuk knows what ‘daddy’ means in a sexual context

4. Leeteuk also understands the concept of a sugar parent, but it was not a positive experience for him. It’s possible other members also understand this concept.

5. Kyuhyun likes men and women

6. Yesung writes his own music

7. Leeteuk has many unreleased songs

8. Eunhyuk has difficulty with his emotions in a general sense, so he’s thankful SJ understand him

9. When Kyuhyun was a teenager, he has to rebel against his fathers wishes to debut as a singer.

10. Kyuhyun dated many girls as a teenager, but only kissed one

11. Sungmin and Kyuhyun have the highest amount of testosterone among SJ members. This was public information a long time ago, though, and alcohol consumption has probably lowered the number a little over time.

12. Sungmin and Kyuhyun share a love of wine

13. Ryeowook is an affectionate drunk

14. Leeteuk is a Leo Venus which means he’s very annoying (read: passionate) in his relationships (This fact was corrected by @fanbynature , it originally said Heechul was a Leo Venus too but he’s actually a Leo Virgo, bonus fact!!)

15. Donghae thinks Eunhyuks lips look best in the morning.

16. Eunhyuk understands the concept of drag.

17. Yesung is very talkative but only when you’re close to him

18. Yesung would kiss SJ good morning back in the dorm days

19. Kyuhyun shows love through acts of service

20. Yesung shows love through quality time

21. Leeteuk is a huge flirt, any fan who met him more personally will tell you

22. As far as we know, Yesung used to collect all sorts of jewellery.

23. Ryeowook and Leeteuk are into cute things (phone cases with cute characters, charms, etc)

24. It’s said Yesung and Sungmin will sleep the least amount of time, but Ryeowook will sleep the most

25. Sungmin and Leeteuk share a moon phase (Waning Gibbous)

26. Back in the dorm, Donghae would also wake his members with affection, but no kisses.

27. Donghae lost his first love because he was too clingy.

28. Kyuhyun and Leeteuk were consider ‘mom’s friend’s kids’ in their school days because they excelled in everything they did. Like the scold ‘why can’t you be more like my friends kid’

29. Kyuhyun has a HUGE fanboy past. Now he can barely use the Internet without making it clear he’s old.

30. Shindong doesn’t like to be clothed at night or in the summer. He takes off his clothes unconsciously

31. Donghae was entrusted to Leeteuk by Donghae’s father

32. Donghae keeps his habits from the dorm days around Leeteuk even now. When he and Leeteuk would share a room, Donghae would cuddle Leeteuk. Even now, when they share a room to sleep, Donghae sings to Leeteuk to try and lull him to sleep.

33. Kyuhyuns relationship with Donghae has been a little bit confusing for him, but recently he said Donghae is like SJs son

34. Yesung’s favourite song is ‘I’ll Make Love To You’

35. Sungmin is the only introvert in SJ

36. Kyuhyun, Leeteuk and Sungmin are open to book recommendations at all times

37. Because of Koreas age system, Yesung and Sungmin are basically the same age.

38. Sungmin technically ages 2 times on his birthday.

39. Teenage Leeteuk celebrated little milestones in relationships like ‘100 days anniversary’

40. Leeteuk would rather be called his stage name than his given name.

41. DBSJ* worked with a ghost in the recording studio, according to Sungmin

42. Donghae and Eunhyuk share a love of strawberries

43. Kyuhyun does not like to be called with pet names

44. Yesung has always shown interest in Canada for whatever reason

45. Ryeowook played the triangle in his school band. Literally

46. Yesung, Donghae and Leeteuk don’t drink.

47. Leeteuk and Kyuhyun love the colour white

48. Sometimes, Kyuhyun unwinds by solving math problems

49. Kyuhyun cited himself in his college thesis on K-pop’s popularity.

50. Leeteuk is taller than Sungmin. It’s more drastic than you think

51. Donghae and Sungmin have both been deemed as ‘naturally cute’, but oddly enough, Sungmin has said he doesn’t act cute anymore. Donghae hasn’t changed in terms of cuteness once

52. Donghae is very fond of dogs. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook are not

53. Sungmin and Eunhyuk were the closest friends predebut. They would take the bus to SM together and make sure nobody else sat next to them. There’s a picture somewhere online of a predebut Sungmin resting his head on Eunhyuk during one of those bus rides

54. Leeteuk didn’t have many friends when he was younger. Leeteuk still thinks he doesn’t have many friends.

55. Donghae and Sungmin share forgetfulness.

56. Leeteuk and Heechul became friends easily because they’re the same age and look out for each other. Also because if Leeteuk was busy or resting, Heechul would be the oldest and have authority over the young SJ for him.

57. Leeteuk and Kyuhyun taught themselves how to cook. Ryeowook and Sungmin were good at it from the beginning

58. Leeteuk wanted to become an idol because of 90s kpop groups looking super cool. He wanted some of that for himself and now I think he’s one of the coolest people ever

59. Leeteuk smokes

60. Sungmin used to sleep in a pink nightgown. Even now, he doesn’t let the fact go, but he says it’s embarrassing

61. Predebut Eunhyuk stole a Shinhwa CD from SM to impress a girl

62. Leeteuks waist size is 26 inches. The ideal size for women in the west

63. Leeteuk entered to win special edition Nike shoes 100 times total. He won

64. When a younger Sungmin was frustrated, he would vent online. Similar to how Leeteuk would when he was younger

65. Sungmin recently said men ask him for his number when he goes out

66. As far as we know, Yesung used to worry about whether or not he would live to grow old :(

67. Donghae has always had a love of poetry

68. Kyuhyun’s originally near-sighted

69. Both Yesung and Leeteuk struggle to define their relationships with others

70. Yesung doesn’t smile a lot when cameras aren’t on him

71. Eunhyuk doesn’t like seafood. Donghae does.

72. Donghae doesn’t like sweets. Eunhyuk does

73. Sungmin was the first member to open his YT channel back in 2018.

74. Ryeowook is said to be a heavy drinker

75. Leeteuk finds peace in the rain

76. Kyuhyun is said to have one of the biggest hearts in SJ, alongside Leeteuk

77. Eunhyuk first appeared publicly in 1992 on a TV show by complete accident. It made him happy

78. In order to sleep in a new location, Donghae sleeps best if there’s something near him that reminds him of home. This is an old fact holds up today, Donghae often sleeps close to his members

79. Predebut, Eunhyuk and Junsu purposefully tried to make Donghae cry

80. Every roommate Donghae has had, he has had multiple complaints about all of them

81. Yesung bought a turtle a long time ago because he felt bored without a pet. Even after buying the turtle, he was still bored

82. Eunhyuk is constantly getting ‘friend zoned’ by Donghae. It’s mostly Donghae who calls them as friends, Eunhyuk got a million other words

83. Sungmin studies English and music every day.

84. Leeteuk loves to learn and is always studying something new as well

85. In high school, Leeteuk studied German

86. ‘Don’t give up’ was Sungmin’s motto in elementary school

87. Leeteuk and Sungmin are big Na Hoon Ah fans

88. When Donghae was in elementary school, he was taller than his classmates and even had a nickname relating to how tall he was

89. Sungmin is still mistaken for his 20s

90. Sungmin loves to eat, he talks about food a lot, but still diets strictly as a couple with his Saeun~

91. Eunhyuk is clumsy

92. Leeteuk is very different off camera, but he’s always aware of hidden cameras, so it’s impossible to catch him ‘normally’.

93. Leeteuk and Yesung curse like sailors

94. Kyuhyun and Shindong share great memorization skills

95. Donghae doesn’t like to eat alone

96. Yesung is the only Virgo in SJ. Kyuhyun is the only Aquarius.

97. Leeteuk finds some men to be cute. Particularly men with beards (in terms of dating)

98. Sungmin wants to record music in English for his international fans

99. Sungmin and Leeteuk both have a fan they consider a friend

100. Eunhyuk loves to be in Japan

[rene-hl-trashcan]

Question 7 - Favourite & Least Favourite Food

Sylvia

LIKES : 1. Super dark chocolate with zero to little sugar content 2. Everything spicy. The very specific liking of dark chocolate came from when she swapped her sweet chocolate with Sylvan's during their childhood because she didn't like seeing him pout (their parents tried to reduce his sugar intake because Sylvan + sugar equals CHAOS, but we know that failed since Sylvia is a softie and swapped the chocolates anyway). As for the liking of spicy food, it developed during her childhood travels. The family travelled a lot during her childhood and they spent her early years travelling around Asia so her culinary preferences developed from all the food she grew up eating. She's particularly fond of curry and chicken kofta. DISLIKES : Nothing specific but her mood will sour if she is served bland food. It annoys her to hell so she usually would have condiments and spices ready to add to the bland dishes.

Sylvan

LIKES : Anything sweet and everything spicy. Same reason as Sylvia, though he likes sweet food for the effects they had on him more than the actual flavour. If energy drinks existed in the 1900s, you'd see him chugging energy drinks like there's no tomorrow, much to everyone's horror. He too, like Sylvia, has developed high spice tolerant from their years travelling around Asia and the liking also is due to the burning sensation he gets from eating the spicy food rather than the actual flavour (spicy isn't a flavour anyway, it's your tongue being in pain and reacting to the chemical irritants 🤣🤣). He has a horrid hobby of snacking on the wide selection of peppers simply for the horror on other people's faces when they see him casually eating the peppers. If he is not trying to mentally traumatise other people, Sylvan's favourite food is spicy beef noodles. DISLIKES : Fish. He hates the texture. It triggered his gag reflex like nothing else could. There's also a terrible core memory he experienced that made the hatred stronger. To no one else's fault but his own, he had a parasite infestation from eating raw fish when he was 6. It was a random salmon he caught when they were in Canada, of which he just chomped on the poor fish (raw and still alive fresh outta the river) cuz his child brain thought it was the same as eating a carefully prepared sushi. It's not the same, and he learned that the hard way. (There were tapeworms involved)

Mildred

LIKES : Fruits and everything made of fruits. Jams, infusion tea, pie, cake—if it's made of fruits and still carry the same taste, she will devour it. She loves to add fruit jam to her milk tea. Mildred used to be a picky eater and would not eat her veggies, so fruits are the way her parents tried to sneak some veggies into her by blending everything into a smoothie. She also likes it because it brings back the good memories of sitting on her dad's shoulder as they walked around their tiny patch of land picking apples directly from the tree and sharing the fruit together. DISLIKES : Eggs and milk. She doesn't like the smell, especially the eggs. She can eat them fine if the scent are masked by something else but on its own, she couldn't stomach eggs and milk at all. When she was a toddler, her mom had to mix their homemade jam into her sippy-cup to get her to drink her milk.

Riz

LIKES : Black coffee and anything with cacao in it. Plus, any meals that are made of genuine effort and love. 🤣 Riz has little food preference because growing up, everything that he showed any form of liking was ruined by his elder sisters. So, he countered that by being fairly neutral with everything that is served on his plate. Black coffee and cacao are the only food that he likes but his sisters haven't managed to ruin. After he got rid of his family, he learned to appreciate any meals that have genuine effort put into them (partially because of his niece's adorable yet horrendous effort to cook for him). He will be most likely to enjoy eating charred food or suspiciously radioactive-looking dishes as long as it's made of genuine effort because it feeds his emotional needs. The taste doesn't matter since he honestly has no preference flavour-wise. DISLIKES: Nothing. He might find some food unpleasant but it's not something he wouldn't chow down on. Food is fuel and he knows he needs fuel to live.

Questions 11, & 17

3, 7, 11, 17 👀

No specific lad requested go ham

@a-usernamelol

I feel like this gonna be a multi-posts answer lol 🤣🤣

Question 3 - Birthday and Zodiac Sign

I'm interested in tarot so lemme up the ante by giving their full birth chart for no reason other than I want to procastinate from my pile of work :

Sylvia - 29th June (Sun ♋, Moon ♑ & Ascendant ♎)

Sylvan - 13th Feb (Sun ♒, Moon ♉ & Ascendant ♋)

Mildred - 7th Aug (Sun ♌, Moon ♎ & Ascendant ♏)

Riz - 31st Oct (Sun & Moon ♏♏ & Ascendant ♍)

I'm a huge fan of worldbuilding (as proven by the forbidden file of worldbuilding I created for an original story which includes a custom-made calendar, lore of creation, and all the necessary systems) so yes, I put in my MCs' birthdays into astrology sites and try to match their personalities to the signs in my brainrot eventhough I am terribly busy to actually sit down and write their story.

Procrastination is a sin but hell doesn't exist if I don't think of it ✨✨

Questions 7, 11, 17

[star-scrambled]

how do i go about getting into octonauts?

Again, old asf ask here, so this might not be helpful to this person anymore!! But hopefully it helps the rest of you!! I’ll be addressing the shows accessibility for the most part, along with general information that could let you know if this is your thing or not!! :)

ACCESSIBILITY:

- All animated Octonauts content can be found on Netflix! This most likely doesn’t apply to every country, but I’m at least aware this is the case for the US, Canada, and the UK! You’ll find all 4 seasons, 3 movie/specials, and the Above & Beyond spin-off series!

- Unfortunately, I can’t share much from the top of my head in terms of other legal options. You can check on-demand services, what channel you may find the show airing on in your country, listings for DVDs, episodes that can be bought somewhere like iTunes, or other streaming platforms to see if anything comes up, though it won’t be as likely that you’ll find all content in the same place, especially for the Netflix exclusives (the specials and the spinoff).

- For easy/baby’s-first-pirating, Youtube is your place! The official Octonauts youtube channel frequently uploads clip compilations, and occasionally whole episodes! They even post clips from Above & Beyond! If you’re the kind of person who likes to watch things in bite-sized clips more than binging the entire thing first, this may be your preferred option! Aside from that, you will most likely find playlists and uploads of every episode in Seasons 1 to 4 anyways. The quality varies, but it’s very convenient and won’t get taken down anytime soon! Usually older cartoons eventually can have all their episodes on YouTube easy peasy, this is one of those cases.

- Now you CAN try pirating from actual pirate websites, but I don’t SUPER recommend it? Youtube uploads are just easier due to the lack of pop-ups and such, but on more popular websites like WCO and Kimcartoon, dozens of episodes are missing and can’t be found there. Some episodes, such as the Amazon Adventure, are also in REALLY terrible quality. HOWEVER: I will recommend said websites if you want to watch the Netflix specials. WCO doesn’t have Ring of Fire, but Kim might? Try it out! (If you want my take, WCO is better. The pop-ups are more tame and less invasive, and the layout is pretty user friendly.)

Other Things to Note:

- The show is CGI, and a CGI show that began in 2010 at that. While the animation in the later seasons and specials looks MILES better than the first season, even its earliest episodes are far from unbearably primitive. However, if 3D-animated cartoons REALLY aren’t your thing, you might have trouble sitting through this one. If you’re open enough, I’d give it a shot! The cute designs and vibrant, clean environments really make up for it, and in later content the character animation gets WILDLY impressive, along with the immersion of the show overall.

- DUBS! THE DUBS ARE IMPORTANT TO KNOW ABOUT! So basically, there are two different English dubs of Octonauts, the UK dub and the US dub. Most differences occur in the first season, but by this point they’re just here for the sake of familiarity with the audience. Peso (Penguin) in the UK dub is british, and gets a more latino-take on his character in the US dub. Dashi (Dog) in the UK dub is australian, and is replaced with an american accent in the US dub. Similar changes occur with their siblings, Pinto and Koshi. In the US and Canada, Netflix will automatically set you with the US dub, and I can only assume vice versa happens in the UK. If you’ve never grown up with the show, this won’t really concern you, but if you’re coming back to it and are confused why Peso and Dashi sound different, ESPECIALLY if you were a US dub-watcher, you’ll be annoyed to know that it’s hard to find the US dub outside of Netflix. Most YouTube uploads ive watched contain the UK dub, but I’m pretty sure there are US dub uploads out there, albeit in imperfect quality. Rest assured for the movies, it seems their piratable state contains the US dub! Might be sad for UK enjoyers though. I guess we all can’t win.

- I know I’ve accidentally mislead my friends into believing this show is more nuanced and driven than it is because of my analyzations of the characters, so don’t go into this expecting a cool, overarching plot!! The world building definitely gains some cool continuity eventually, especially with the spinoff, but besides that I believe this show is truly best experienced when you want to relax and have fun with it! It’s cute, funny, and really clever for a preschool show. It’s quality is, quite literally, above and beyond :)

[broadstbroskis]

our love lasts so long | william nylander

a/n: oh hello!! am i here with yet another childhood friends to lovers fic?? why yes, yes i am. one (mildly) based on a taylor swift song, as the title would suggest (seven, a underrated folklore BOP)? yes again. the biggest of shoutouts to anyone who let me talk about this over the past few days but especially to @brockadoodles who listened to many many things and to @danglesnipecelly for reminding me about my childhood friends to lovers brand

word count: 7k

-----

The girls are being mean to her.

They’re older than her, a lot older than her, like already in grade school, and they all have friends here already, because they’ve all been here for a while. Noah frowns. It’s not her fault her daddy just got sent here. Florida’s too hot anyway; she still doesn’t understand how this ice rink even stays cold!

She shuffles her feet along. The Christmas songs are loud and there are a lot of people here but Daddy promised he’d take her around really fast after he finished working on shooting the puck with Jake. She just has to be super patient-she thinks that’s the thing Mommy always tells her to be-while she waits and then Daddy will play with her and those stupid girls won’t even matter.

(And yes she can use that word; she just can’t tell Mommy.)

The ice feels funny, not like she’s used to back at home in Canada, but before Noah can start to look for her Mommy to ask her, someone crashes into her and they both end up on the ice.

The boy who flew into her isn’t crying so Noah sucks her lip between her teeth and fights back her tears. “Hey!” He whines over to someone and then says something she can’t understand.

“Hey!” She whines and shoves him. “You’re s’pposed to say sorry when when you hit somebody!”

“I know!” His eyes widen. The blue is a pretty blue; it’s like the ice and Noah likes it. “My sister pushed me first though.”

“Oh.” Noah says. Jake is always pushing her around and he never gets in trouble for it. It’s not fair.  “Well she should say sorry to you then.”

The boy nods in agreement, his blond hair flopping everywhere. “Yeah but she’s older so she thinks she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to.”

Noah scowls. “So does Jake.”

The boy’s face lights up. “Well then we should be friends and we could fight them together!”

Someone else who’s going to help stop Jake from shooting pucks at her? Deal. “Okay.” Noah grins. “I’m Noah.”

He smiles back. “William.” 

-----

Willy’s at practice when he hears about the trade, the one that’s bringing Barrett Evans to the Blackhawks, and he hears it mostly because the boys think it means Jake Evans is going to join their team.

Willy’s playing a couple years up here, and there’s an argument going on during practice about if Jake’s doing the same; if he’ll join their team, how soon he’ll be able to get there if he is. That they’re more excited about the potential of Jake Evans joining this team than any discussion of his dad joining the actual Blackhawks is one of the reasons Willy likes this team so much. They’re all chill; no one cares what his dad does or where he plays. 

He’s just another one of the boys.

In about a week they find out Jake is joining their team, his mom quickly setting up a carpool to the rink with Willy’s, who is more than eager to agree, with the new baby taking up (in Willy’s opinion) too much space and time.

(What’d they need another sister for? Wasn’t two enough?)

Jake comes with two sisters of his own, another baby just like Willy’s sister, and then, even better, a dark haired girl that Willy only remembers from pictures and dreams, but a face that he recognizes instantly.

“Hey.” He taps the glass in front of where she’s sitting at his practice, writing something- probably homework. He’s supposed to do his in the car on the way to practice, Mum says so, but he never does, because he hates doing it, and like really, what’s the point if he’s going to be a famous NHL player anyway? 

Noah looks up, a little annoyed, but then her face breaks out into a smile when she sees it’s him. “William!”

“Willy.” He corrects.

She pulls a face. “Ew, like a wet willy?”

“No,” He laughs. “Like my name!”

“That’s dumb.”

“No it’s not!” It’s what everyone calls him.

Noah’s still frowning at him. “Yes it is, Will.”

“No dumber than the ark you’re named after.” He counters. If she’s going to be like that, he can play too. 

“At least I get cool animals on mine.” Noah huffs and then turns away from him, like she’s mad. 

“No hockey on it though.” Willy says and she turns back to him just to roll her eyes at him. “Not really worth it then, yeah?”

“You’re the worst.” Noah says, but she’s back to facing him and smiling again, showing off a couple missing teeth. “Don’t you do anything else?” He shakes his head, grinning. “That’s gonna change because I’m not playing hockey with you all the time.”

“Well I’m not playing dolls with you all the time.” Will says quickly. He has to do that enough with his sisters; he’s not doing anymore of it.

She rolls her eyes. “Stupid boys.” She mutters and goes back to her work.

“What does that mean?” Willy demands but before he can get an answer, his coach is calling them all back to practice and his break is done. He’s just going to have to bug her at the game tonight. 

(He does bug her at the game that night, but she annoys him right back, and by the second period, they’re laughing and grinning, friends once again).

-----

“Ok, but did you lose Alex or just like, misplace him?” Noah looks around her, searching for a head of blond hair in the crowd of people rushing around them in the mall.

“What’s the difference?” Will hisses, using her shoulder to stand on his toes, head turning as he searches for his brother.

“Like, are you actually asking because of a two language thing or are you just being a jerk because we lost your brother?”

Will glares over at him and drops down flat on his feet again, swearing as he does. “Mum’s doing to kill me.”

“Why?” Alex asks, reappearing suddenly with a soft pretzel in hand, and Noah screams, throwing her arms around him. “What happened?”

“We hate you.” Will says and Noah nods in agreement. “That’s what.”

“What’d I do?” Alex protests.

“Disappeared!” Noah cries. “With no warning.

“I told Will I was going to get a pretzel.” He defends. “He can’t listen and that’s my fault?”

Will reaches out like he’s going to pull his brother into a headlock-or worse, Noah’s not going to risk the two of them going at it like they do in their basement here in public-so she reaches out and grabs his hand, intercepting him before he can even make it to just ruffle his hair, or something. “Come on, Alex.” She teases, even as Will drops his jaw at her for stopping him. “We both know Will hears what he wants to hear.”

Alex laughs, looking as pleased as she knew he would, but Will’s jaw remains dropped. “Screw you” Will says, and because she’s still holding his one hand to keep it from going for his brother, she’s defenseless against the finger he pokes into her most ticklish spot.

“Stop!” She squirms away, or tries to- he won’t let go of her hand. “Will! Let go!”

He stops poking her side, but squeezes her hand and grins. “Nope, you chose this; now you’re stuck with me.”

“Your hand is sticky!” She whines. 

“I was testing tape.” Will grins, swinging their hands widely. “Now yours can be sticky too.”

Noah looks down at their hands, joined and still swinging wherever Will moves them. She hopes that’s all that’s on them but you never know with the DC Metro.

-----

There’s a girl giggling behind him.

Willy turns and she stops, but as soon as he turns back, she’s giggling again and this time, so is her friend.

He tugs at the blazer of his uniform, looking down at his shirt. Is his tie done funny? He’d gotten called out for that last week. But it looks fine, just like everyone else’s did earlier. He pulls out his phone. Hurry up. He sends Noah, watching the dots appear on his screen, like she’s texting back, but then she appears, right in front of him. “Finally.” He grabs her and tugs her away from this school, those girls, even more of them giggling at him.

Willy wipes at his face. Maybe there’s something on it? But nothing comes off on his hand and he frowns harder.

Noah’s biting her lip, like she’s trying not to laugh, and it only works for so long. “She has a crush on you, dummy.”

“Oh.” Willy says blankly, trying to sneak a look back at the first girl. 

“Oh,” Noah parrots. “Honest to god, Will, it’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

“Hey!” He forgets all about the girl, in favor of knocking his shoulders against hers-not hard enough to send her falling into the dirty snow of this New York suburb, but hard enough to make her laugh. “I’m athletic too!”

Noah bursts into laughter, this loud thing that’s bright and contagious and only serves to make Willy join in with her- not that he’s trying hard to stop himself. He’s always laughing when she is. “Sure bud,” She pats his arm. “You tell yourself that.”

-----

“Iced tea.” Noah hands a cup over to Will and then slides down so she’s sitting next to him, dangling her feet in the pool. It’s really too cold to go in, but that hasn’t stopped Will, who’s been swimming all afternoon on and off- and it hasn’t stopped him from pulling her in with him.

“How much sugar?” Will asks demandingly, as she rolls her eyes, like he’s not already taking a sip.

She’d normally answer with a snarky comment, just because he deserves it. But the nostalgia’s setting in; it’s been hitting her at random moments all week, and she’s inclined to just be nice to him, leaning against him as she says, “Come on, like I don’t know how you like your iced tea by now.”

Will sighs dramatically, taking her weight and pressing back against her. “Guess I’m going to have to make my own coffee now too, huh?”

“Two creams, one sugar.” Noah reminds him gently and he laughs, but it sounds kind of hollow, not at all like the honk that usually sends her into fits of giggles right along with him. It’s quiet after he stops, the only sound the pool filter a few feet away and the crickets just starting to chirp, and she hates the silence. In all their years of friendship, they’ve never been quiet people, never had to do an awkward dance while they figured out who they were each time they met. They fell right back into easy friendship, laughing and giggling, dragging each other into their favorite things and places, until one of them was leaving.

It feels different this time. “Are you really leaving?” There’d never been a doubt in her mind when her dad left DC that she’d see Will again. Maybe not for a few months, maybe not for a few years, but the day would come.

“For now.” Will shrugs. “I’m sure we’ll be back.”

“It’s Sweden.” Noah says quietly. She doesn’t have that same feeling this time. Sweden’s their home. Why would they leave? 

“It’s hockey.” Will says, like hockey, Sweden, and home- they’re all interchangeable. 

And maybe they are; hockey- the people Noah meets because of her dad’s team, the friends she’s made, Will, his family- hockey, as a concept, has been more of a home to her than any of the houses she’s known, than these temporary places she embraces every two years or so. 

But she’s been around long enough to know what comes after hockey and it’s the only thing that changes home. The offseason home becomes the main home. Dads start picking up carpool duties and volunteer coaching positions. The spotlight shifts to the kids and their dreams. 

It’s hockey and it’s Sweden and it’s home and whether they’re all different or the same, Noah knows this is the last time she’ll be seeing Will.

-----

Willy has minimal complaints about being a rookie, even if Reemer and Naz think he should have more. 

He’s, like, the definition of living the dream. He’s got a sweet apartment that he shares with one of his best friends. He’s on a dream line with two more of his best friends and they’re absolutely tearing it up. 

His team’s incredible, even if they’re a bunch of assholes sometimes (Willy is too sometimes, he admits), but they’re fun and they’re funny and they like to let loose and have a good time, for as often as they’re really fucking serious about the goal they’re all there for. 

Like today. Practice had been brutal and then there’d been a lift before a video session, but there’s nothing on the schedule for tomorrow so there hadn’t even been a question of if they were going out that night. Suggestions for where had been tossed out the second practice ended.

It’s a good night, things are going well and drinks are flowing (as they should be) and then Matts rolls back to the table, weirdly dejected after coming back from the bar trying to talk up a pretty girl, and he takes his chirps with as much grace as the worst loser Willy’s ever met can, but Willy looks over and he knows that girl. He’d recognize those eyes anywhere, even if her hair is longer and maybe darker? So he gets up, even as Matts calls after him, “Fuck you Willy,” and the rest of the boys laugh.

He leans his weight against Noah, laughing at the look on her face when she realizes it’s him. The annoyance leaves her face pretty quickly and a smile slides right in its place, like she’s waiting for him. “Matts is pretty annoyed you turned him down.” He teases, bypassing hello altogether.

“Yeah well,” She huffs and it’s like she’s trying for annoyed but Willy can see the smile that she’s hiding. “Matts needs to learn that just because he’s a big shot hockey player doesn’t mean every girl is going to drop into bed with him at the sound of his name and a free drink.”

“He’s a lot nicer than that.” Willy defends. “Usually. I didn’t mean it like that.” Because, well, Matts can be an asshole, but it’s not about bringing a girl home.

Noah looks at him skeptically. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Yeah, I’ve never led you astray before .”

She bursts into laughter. “Yeah, okay.” The sarcasm drips from her tone, even through the laughter.

Willy pokes her but it only makes her laugh harder. “Name one time.”

“Sledding in DC, winter skate in New York, ditching school to go to the mall that one time in Westchester, taking the train into-“

He covers her mouth. “I said name one.”

When he removes his hand, Noah’s grinning up at him, and suddenly he realizes what’s different. It’s not her hair (which is darker, he’s sure now that he’s up close), or her smile (still bright and laughing), or her eyes (bright and green and unforgettable). It’s the oh fuck running through his brain, because he’d definitely take her home.

-----

Falling back into friendship with Will is easy; it’s pretending Noah doesn’t want more that’s hard.

It’s always been easy to be friends with Will. She can’t remember a time when they didn’t click, when things felt weird or uncomfortable between them. 

But that was before he started dragging her everywhere around Toronto- to the greatest restaurants she’s ever eaten at, to the Christmas Market, to breakfast on Thursday’s every week he’s in town because he knows that she doesn’t have class until the afternoon. 

The flutter in her stomach is so unfamiliar, something so unassociated with Will, that it takes her a while to place it. And of course he’s doing something so normal, so innocuous, so casual, it shouldn’t even register on her radar. He’s buying coffee, for Christ’s sake!

But he’s remembering that she likes oat milk in her iced coffee, even though she hasn’t really actually told him that; it’s just the order she always gives when they go for breakfast. And he’s ordered her a size up from what she usually gets, without her even asking, just because she’d mentioned being up late last night with homework.

“Here!” Will chirps happily, passing her the cup grinning, and there’s that flutter again, deep in her stomach, and it’s that, that small gesture that means so much, just knowing that he’s looking at her enough to know that she needs this extra large iced coffee with oat milk without even being told, that tells her what this feeling is.

This is a crush.

“Thanks.” She’s gonna tamp this baby down and fast. Why is she even crushing on Will at all? It must be, like, the years they’ve spent apart; she’s been desensitized to him or something. Suddenly, his hair’s all beautiful and his eyes are pretty and shit. Unreal.

“You’re welcome,” Will smiles. “But I didn’t just get this for you just because you look exhausted.”

“Is this a bribe?” She demands.

Will laughs. “Kind of.” She side-eyes him until he caves. “We’re all going out this weekend after the game and the team wants to meet you.”

“Oh.” She says, surprised. “That’s it?”

“You were expecting worse?”

She nods. “Much.”

“Well, nope.” He pops the ‘p.’ “Just gotta come hang out with me.”

“Ugh.” She complains. “Maybe that is worse.”

“I bought you that coffee. I’ll take it right back.” Will threatens.

“Never.” Noah cradles it close to her chest. “Not allowed.”

Will’s watching her, smiling, like he already knows she’s going to say yes, but he says anyway. “So you’ll come?”

“Of course, I’ll come.” It really wasn’t even a question. She would have come even if he hadn’t bribed her with the most amazing coffee she’s ever had to drink, but he sweetened the deal with that, so that’s how she finds herself slipping into the VIP section of a club on a Saturday night, eyes scanning to find him.

It’s not too hard to spot him and she soon finds herself sliding into a group of teammates and significant others, fighting back a laugh at the look on Auston Matthews’ face. “Hi!” She drapes herself over Will’s back, actually laughing at the look on his face and clinging tightly to make him work at pulling her off.

“God, you’re a pain.” He announces, finally tugging her around. 

“Always.” Noah laughs, because this is easy, this is normal. Teasing Will just like always. “It’s what I strive to be, a thorn in your side.”

“You don’t have to try.” She miscalculated this gravely. He’s in the perfect position to dance his fingers into her most ticklish spots. “You just are.”

“Are you going to introduce us, Willy?” Someone asks dryly, one of the guys across from them. “Or just stand there pretending the two of you are in your own little world?”

Will’s cheeks flush-something unusual for him, he’s never embarrassed- but he says, “This is Noah.” Simply; like everyone should know who she is to him just from that alone, and it kind of seems like they do. A bunch of their faces light up and a few of them lean into each other and start whispering together. But she doesn’t get a chance to ask him what he has said about her, what kind of talk he’s been talking, before he’s listing names off of everyone around them, like she’s going to remember all these people.

There’s immediate chatter from almost everyone around her; it’s as if each one of them have been dying to meet her for a different reason. “Willy’s kept pretty tight-lipped about you.” Connor-James-Matt?-She’s already forgotten every name Will’s told her- says, almost too casually. “How long have you guys been seeing each other?”

“Before or after you turned Matts down?” Someone else adds eagerly, even as Auston groans, a little embarrassed.

Will’s fighting back a laugh next to her and she wants to kill him, honestly, she really does. But she settles for the next best thing, plastering her hand over his bicep, playing up a part that she isn’t. “Oh, you know. Fifteen years, on and off, right, babe?”

“Fif-what?” That’s Naz that’s narrowing his eyes at them; she’s pretty sure.

And now Will loses it, at either that, or the faces the rest of his teammates are making, and she pulls her hand away, laughing right with him. “What the fuck?” Tyler says flatly. “You really are just friends.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Will insists.

“He’s a terrible liar.” Noah says. “You’d know right away. His face gets all-”

“Nope.” Will pulls her away. “Think it’s time for a drink, don’t you?”

“Gets all what?” Someone calls. “All what?” 

She winks over her shoulder; she’ll get back to him later.

Noah doesn’t get around to him until much later, dragged to the bar with Will and then out dancing where they’re joined by a few of his fellow rookies. There might be times when they all go out looking to pick up, but this clearly isn’t one, every one of them out doing each other in the most ridiculous ways (Mitch wins; Mitch wins every time).

She gets back to the table a while later, when she’s dying of thirst and Will’s gone to the bar for refills, but it’s been long enough that she’s kind of forgotten she’s somewhat on the hot seat in this group. No one pounces immediately, but two of them- Morgan and Jake- move away from the team’s argument about a podcast they’ve been listening to and slide closer to her.

“So what’s the tell?” Morgan asks and Noah frowns for a second until she remembers earlier, laughing and declining. “Fine, sure. I admire the loyalty, I guess.” 

“It’s too easy for him to return the favor.” Noah laughs.

“Ok, so you’ve known Willy,” Jake says slowly, like he’s trying to calculate in real time. “For 15 years now?”

Noah nods. “Since we were four. Our dads got traded to the same hockey team and,” She shrugs. “Then again, and again, and again.”

Morgan kind of lights up, like this is the best news he’s heard all day. “What exactly was Willy like as a kid? Like has he always slept this much on any flat surface available? Or is that a weird thing he picked up in Sweden?”

“Always.” She laughs and then shrugs again. “I don’t know, I think he’s a lot like he is now. I don’t-I don’t think much has changed.”

And before she can even say anything else, the man himself is slipping in beside her, carelessly throwing his arm over her shoulders and gluing himself to her side. “Don’t talk to them.” Will demands. “They won’t have anything nice to say about me.”

“Rude.” Jake throws a wrapper at him, and it tangles in his hair but Will just shakes it out.

“Actually they’re asking me about you.” She tells him and he gasps dramatically.

“Don’t talk to them.” He demands again and she laughs.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you ruining my image.”

“What image, pretty boy?” Morgan drawls, and Noah just laughs as Will retaliates by throwing the straw wrapper back at him but he doesn’t leave her side after that, remaining a comfortable weight pressed against her for the rest of the evening.

She doesn’t hate it. Stupid crush.

-----

“Happy Birthday.” Willy slides the gift across the counter but Noah doesn’t even reach for it, still looking down at the textbook she’s highlighting. She’s new-semester stressed still, the kind of stressed where her hair is constantly up in that bun for a few weeks and the bags never seem to leave her eyes. He can’t wait for another week or so, when she’ll finally crash and sleep for like, two days, a break she’s in desperate need of.

“What is it?” She asks skeptically and like, sure, the wrap job’s a little sketch, but Willy did it himself, no help from Mum or sisters. She should be, like, proud of his job mediocrely done. 

“Was I unclear?” He asks, and she gives him a look, reaching for it with an eye roll. 

“My birthday was last month.” She reminds him. “You sent me flowers.”

Willy knows. The flowers had been a placeholder because he’d wanted to be with her when she opened her real gift, to see her reaction, watch the smile grow over her face when she sees what’s in the box. “That was never your whole gift.” 

She smiles. “It could have been! It was just nice to know you were thinking of me.”

Willy stops just before he says something stupid, like that he’s always thinking of her. He hasn’t stopped thinking about her since they reunited last year and he probably won’t stop thinking about her, even after she finishes up with school and figures out her next step. It seems inevitable that fate will follow its same path they’ve travelled their entire lives, and they’ll end up crossing paths three times a year when Willy travels to whatever city she ends up in, knowing before they even meet for dinner that it’s not enough time, never enough time.

Instead he smiles and nods. “Come on, I’d never miss your birthday. Even if we have to celebrate late.”

Noah laughs. “Fair.” She says, finally reaching for the gift he’d laid out for her. And he knows what she’s going to find first, but that doesn’t change how nice it feels to know he nailed it when she opens the box of Swedish candies he’d brought back, a box of all her favorites. “Ohh!” She immediately pops one of her favorite chocolates into her mouth. “I don’t even care what the other thing is; this is amazing. Thank you!”

Willy laughs, kind of nervously. “At least look at it before you decide to stick it in a corner and never look at it again.”

She’s already pulling it out, peeling back the corners of the wrapping paper, and then looking up at him when she realizes it’s a jewelry box. He smiles encouragingly, feeling like he barely manages to get a full smile up before she’s opening, and then it stretches out fully in relief when she gasps. “Will.” She says finally, looking up at him, mouth opening and closing repeatedly. 

“Do you like it?” He asks hesitantly. He’d bought it on the spot the moment he saw it, the green of the peridot the exact shade of her eyes and her birthstone-or at least, it was, according to his sister. The necklace itself, a delicate chain dropping into a teardrop stone, this easy beauty that he couldn’t help associating with only her.  It’d felt too perfect to pass up. 

“I love it.” She says immediately. “This is-it’s-it’s perfect!” She gets out finally, and Willy breaks out into a smile, watching her lift the chain up to her neck. “Will you-” She breaks off, looking at him expectantly.

“Oh!” Willy gets it now, stands up to step behind her and gently takes the ends of the necklace. “Yeah, of course.” Noah lifts her hair and for a moment all Willy can concentrate on is the whiff of peach he gets suddenly. He fumbles the clasp for a second before he finally gets his shit together. “Why does your shampoo smell so good?”

She laughs, letting her hair tumble down again- another burst of peach to his nose- and turns to face him. “I switched it this summer. It’s nice, isn’t it?”

Nice? Maybe it’s because he spends all his time in a locker room with 23 other dudes, but it’s the best thing he’s ever smelled. He feels weird, knows it’s so not friends to want to pull her into his arms, just so he can hold her close and breathe in that smell, so he just nods.

“Yeah.” Willy says and his eyes are immediately drawn to her smile, to her fingers dragging the teardrop along the chain, and he- he flickers his eyes back up before he can go any lower. “It’s nice.”

-----

“You ready yet?” Will picks up his wallet off his island, where Noah’s been sitting for the last hour trying to tweak her resume one last time before submitting it to another job interview. “I’m going to miss my flight.”

“I’m going to kill you.” She says flatly. She’s only been calling that concern out to him since she walked in the door.

Will grins, throwing his arm around her shoulders and tugging her close into his side. If they weren’t about to spend the entire summer apart, maybe she’d fight it more, afraid that she’s taking too much from him to satiate her more-than-just-a-crush. But Will’s pulling his stupid Sugo hat on his head with the hand that’s not squeezing her close, and he’s about to leave her for four months, fresh off the devastation of the Bruins loss, so she curls in, greedily taking anything she can from him. “Save some cap space,” He hums. “If you did.”

“Oh my god.” She shoves him away. She takes it back. She takes it all back. She feels absolutely nothing for him; he’s the worst human she’s ever met.

Will pulls her back in and his arm stays around her the entire walk down to his car, when he only removes it so they can pack his bags in and then slide in their seats. As soon as he starts it and gets on the road, he reaches over again, just resting his hand on her knee.

“I can’t believe you’re just going to let me drive your car all summer.” Noah says, so she doesn't say something she regrets instead, like I love you, or worse, something about his hands and where else he can put them. 

Will glances at her briefly before turning his attention back to the road and Noah’s already grinning before he responds. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Shifting in her seat to better face him seems like a good idea until she actually does it and it means that his hand just moves further up her leg. She has to stop herself from looking at it, his fingers on the skin of her thigh. “You’ll still have a car when you get back.”

“The same car?”

“Maybe with a dent or two in it.” Noah teases, mostly just to annoy him. It works; he flickers his eyes over toward her in a glare. “I’m kidding.”

“You better be.”

“I’d totally get it fixed.” She continues, smiling when Will laughs. “Pristine condition. You’d never know.”

“Just how I want it.” He pulls up to departures and puts the car into park, so they can both step out; him to fly out and her to switch sides, meeting at the trunk. “Please don’t crash you or my car.” He says softly, pulling her into a hug.

“Please come back soon.” She counters, muttering the words into his chest.

It’s apparently not as quiet as she’d intended. “Wedding season.” He squeezes. “I’ll see you then.”

But that’s not what she meant at all. Noah doesn’t want him back for a weekend or two. She wants dry ink on a contract, locking him in to Toronto.

-----

When the start of the season comes around and Willy’s contract still hasn’t been signed, he can’t say he’s surprised to get a Snapchat from Noah, featuring her, Auston, and Mitch all pouting. 

“Come on.” He frowns at her, when they’re facetiming later that day- well into the night for him, actually. “You know why I’m doing this.” 

She pouts again, even though she’d been smiling only seconds before. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it. Why can’t you be in a standoff with management from here?”

“Why can’t you come work from home from here?” Willy counters and she actually huffs at him, but changes the subject.

When his holdout continues to last though, she does, finally, agree to come work from home from his place in Sweden, at least for a little, and Willy has to physically stop himself from fistpumping in excitement. It’s been too many months of seeing just her pixelated face through facetime, of conversations broken up by timezones, and late night calls that make him want things he knows he can’t have. 

It’s only a few days later but it feels like forever by the time that Noah is throwing herself into Willy’s arms the second that she exits the Stockholm Arlanda airport, and it’s only years of core stability training that don’t send them both flying to the ground. 

“How’s my car?” He teases, because it’s been a lot longer than the four months he promised and he just wants to see her smile, in person, without a lag from their stupid iPhones.

It works. “1 door left.” She chirps easily. “Don’t worry, Auston’s helping me fix it.”

“I’m sure he is.” Willy says darkly, because it was really no secret Matts still thought she was gorgeous, even if Willy was sure he’d never actually do anything about it. Pretty sure. At least 50%.

Noah laughs. “You’re hilarious.” She pats his arm a few times and pulls away to get in the car, but he wants to know about what. About Matts? It’s a legit concern, he feels. Maybe he’ll just fire off a text to Matts, just to be sure. “Will?” Noah’s leaning out of the passenger side. “Are we leaving or are we going to spend my whole trip here at the airport?”

“What if we are?” Willy shoots back, but he makes his way to the driver’s seat.

“If it meant that you were coming home?” Noah gives him a small smile. “I don’t think I’d even be mad.”

Willy gives her a tight smile. “Not yet.”

“Is it-” Noah makes a noise and then continues anyway. “Are you going to come home?”

“I want to.” She knows this; they don’t talk about his contract situation often, but they do, occasionally. “You know that.”

“Yeah.” She says softly. “I just-it’s getting close, yeah?”

Yeah, it was. The deadline was creeping closer and closer, with still no deal. He didn’t...love that, he’d say that for sure. He wanted to be back with the boys, playing; was ready to be back with Noah, for any time she’d give him. “Yeah.” He says, and then switches the topic completely, because he doesn’t want to think about what he’s going to do if this is the only time he gets with her until next fall. “You want to go to dinner with my family tonight?”

Noah’s eyes light up. “Yeah, oh my god!”

Willy laughs and takes the next exit on the highway, instead of driving further into town to go to his own place. Dinners with his parents and sisters is usually a quick cure to any spiraling thoughts about the signing deadline, and having Noah there today is even better. She’s a comforting weight against his side; a laughing presence with his mum as they gang up against him; a friend to his sisters after dinner, as they sit curled together in a corner of the living room whispering secrets and waving him away when he gets too close.

It’s a lot of things Willy doesn’t let himself think about, doesn’t let himself want, because Noah’s never given any hints she wants the same. And she’ll always fit with his family, because she grew up with him, with them, but one day she’ll find another guy who she just seamlessly fits into the side of, whose family she can easily laugh and joke with, because she’s that charming and friendly and nice. How could anyone not love her?

“I remember your sisters begging me to braid their hair at games all the time.” Noah says fondly, once she leaves their circle of secrets to come back to him. “God, I can’t believe how old they all are now.”

“Don’t remind me.” Will says darkly. His youngest sister just announced she has a boyfriend, her first boyfriend; he hates it the most.

Noah cackles, as if she knows what he’s thinking about, which, well, maybe she does, after the last hour. He doesn’t even want to know what they said about him (except he does, he really, really does). “If you promise to be nice to him, maybe she’ll let us go one a double date with them before I leave.”

Willy about blacks out when he hears her mention the word date and he’s pretty sure it shows on his face. “Really?” It’s the only word he can get out. Everything is wonderful; thank God, thank Jesus, thank who-fucking ever. This is the greatest-

Noah laughs. “Well I don’t think she’s going to let you meet him by yourself!” She nudges him with her shoulder. “But we could all go to dinner together!”

He takes it back. Everything is terrible and this is not even close to the greatest day ever.

They end up going for dinner with his sister and her boyfriend anyway-whatever, it’s fine.

“He was more than fine.” Noah protests, when they’re walking back to his place from the restaurant. It’s her last day here and Willy’s trying to soak up every bit of her that he can, so if that means walking to a restaurant in the cold, then so be it. “He was really nice!”

“He was, like, moderately nice, at best.” Willy pulls a face. 

“Don’t be that guy.” She shakes her head at him. “You know what guy I’m talking about.”

“Yeah.” He sighs. 

She nudges him. “You know, if you came back to Toronto with me, you’d never have to see him. Out of sight, out of mind.”

He wants to. He wants to so badly. He just...can’t. “You know I can’t.”

“But I don’t!” Noah says, frustratedly. “I don’t know why you can’t at all. You want to be there and they want you there. I don’t fucking get this!”

“Money. Terms.” He shrugs, sounding a lot more casual than he feels. “My agent’s taking care of things. That’s what he’s here for.”

“Well maybe it’s time to take care of things you want for yourself.” Noah mutters.

“What?” Will asks; he’s sure he heard her, but the bitterness is really unlike her.

“Nothing.” Noah curls into him and Willy wraps his arm around her shoulders without question. “Just cold. Left or right to get home?”

-----

Will’s text comes through in the middle of the afternoon, that they’re just ironing out the fine details and that he’ll be on a redeye that night.

You don’t even need to buy me a Christmas present this year. Noah sends in response. Best gift ever. 

When he doesn’t respond, though, she gets a little concerned. He always sends something back, always, whether it’s just a little emoji or some kind of quip, and that was prime for the taking. Call me at the airport? She follows it up. Do you need a ride when you get here? I still have your car.

Matts is grabbing me, going right to practice and meeting w kyle. Catch up later.

She actually startles at the response. He’s never, never been so short with her. It’s not even that the response itself was rude; it just...didn’t even feel like him. It feels like he’s pushing her away and the only thing she can think of is that he is. That he’d realized how she’d clung to him in Sweden in departures, the way she hadn’t been able to stop herself from running her hand down his back before pulling away, and he’d connected it to the fact that she’s definitely in love with him and was pulling away.

It’s the worst thought she’s had since she realized he was staying in Sweden for a while. She’d drunk a bottle of wine then to cope and she does the same now, but then she’s only more cranky the next morning when she’s still over thinking and she has a headache.

The knock on her door only makes her more annoyed, at least until she opens it and sees Will standing in the hallway. “Hi.” She breathes. She’d pictured him coming back to Toronto so many times, and look, she knows she doesn’t need to impress Will, who has seen her at her best and worst, but not once was she wearing sweats and the biggest sweatshirt that she owns. 

“Hi.” Will grins and she’s about to tell him to come in, but then he’s cupping her cheek and ducking down and it’s like time stops as he kisses her.

Noah can’t quite believe she was ever scared that Will didn’t love her. She doesn’t need him to say it, but he’s the one to pull away first, resting his forehead on hers, and they’re the first words out of his mouth. “I love you.” He kisses her again and god, she could do this forever. “You told me if I want something, to just take care of it myself, and I’m doing it. I don’t want to sit back anymore and let someone else love you. I love you.”

Will brushes his thumb over her cheek and Noah tries to gather a thought, any thought after a kiss that turned her brain to mush. “I don’t know when I started loving you,” She says, smiling when she sees the grin grow across Will’s face. “But I think it was before I even know what love was, and I don’t ever want to stop.”

The next kiss is the worst one yet, the smile still on his face (and hers), but that’s okay, Noah muses. They have time. 

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.