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theemissuniverse · 1 year ago

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“DOESN’T MAKE YOU ANY LESS BEAUTIFUL” RAIDEN X CHUBBY!FEM READER

SUMMARY : You’re a princess and younger sister of Kitana and Mileena. Reiko is your ex and threatens you at the banquet. Raiden immediately stops him and gets him to back off. You’re thankful for this and want to thank him the “proper” way. Want to make it clear that I only made Reiko a villain bc I needed a villain for this story. No other purpose what so ever

WARNINGS : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. fat phobia, fat shaming, abuse, soft!dom, f receiving, dirty talk

A/N : I am on the plus size side so I honestly prefer to make the reader more so on that side

When the Earthrealmers showed up for the tournament, you had your eyes on their champion. He had manners, was very kind and humble. Something about him drew you to him.

It also helped that you witnessed your ex, Reiko, getting beat by the Earthrealmer. You hated him.

Through out your relationship with Reiko, it was an abusive one. He didn’t treat you good in the slightest. You couldn’t tell your mother though because it was a secret relationship. Nobody knew the two of you were together.

He would always hurt you and blame it that you slipped. Then he said his famous line; “It’s amazing how fast accidents can happen.”

After ending things off with Reiko, he became even more aggressive to you. You made it a point to not be alone with him. Until this time.

There wasn’t anyone at the banquet yet. You looked at the pretty flowers that were ready to blossom. When you did, your guard was down.

A rough hand came in contact with your shoulder. You hissed at the pain and turned to face the person. It was none other than Reiko.

“Why weren’t you by my side at the tournament?”

You rolled your eyes slightly and shoved his hand away. “We’re not together anymore, Reiko.”

Reiko seemed to ignore that and continued to ponder on how he could’ve lost to Raiden. “This doesn’t make any sense. How could I lose to that Earthrealm boy?”

“Maybe it’s because you’re a pathetic excuse of a fighter.” You told him. Big mistake.

Reiko grabbed a hold of your throat and started to choke you. You tried to dig your nails into his arm but it didn’t work. He didn’t let up. “Listen, you fat pig. I’m the only one that cares about you. Your sisters are too high and mighty to ever care about you. I’m all you got so get used to it.”

Raiden was there early to help if needed as that was just in his character. What he didn’t expect was to see the kombant that he beat early to grip on your shoulder.

He watched and listened to the conversation. Something in his gut told him that this wasn’t going to be good. That’s when he saw it. Reiko started choking you.

Raiden immediately went to your aid. He grabbed a hold of Reiko’s arm and shocked him with electricity. It made Reiko let go of you and fall to the ground. “Are you alright, princess?”

You gasped for air and held your throat. You rubbed it to try and get the rough sensation off your neck. “I’m fine.”

Reiko stood up from the ground and glared at Raiden. “This doesn’t concern you, Earthrealmer.”

“Actually, it does.” Raiden told him. Now, he was not one for confrontation but he did not play when it came to women’s safety. “So, I suggest you leave. Before I beat you again.”

Reiko had it. He tried to swing at Raiden but Raiden dodged it by going to the opposite side of where the swing was going to connect.

The solider then tried to kick Raiden by his feet but Raiden jumped over it with ease. “Reiko! Stop!” You shouted.

Reiko then tried to do a spin kick but Raiden dodged that as well. That was the last straw for him.

Reiko began to charge at Raiden but Raiden took one step to the right of him, out the way and it made Reiko run into a brick wall. Reiko fell to the ground and groaned in pain.

You were amazed. Raiden beat Reiko without even touching him. “Anger can be a man’s greatest strength and weakness.” Raiden stated simply. He watched as Reiko got up and grumbled before walking away. He then focused his attention on you. “Let me see.”

You allowed Raiden to look at your neck. His left hand held onto your neck while his right felt for any abnormal movement. “Is he always like this to you?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I broke up with him but he won’t let go.”

Raiden looked in your eyes, concerned. “We must tell the Empress.”

You immediately shook your head. “No. If mother finds out I dated him, there will be trouble.”

Raiden didn’t like the fact that you had to keep it a secret but he did just meet you so he didn’t feel it was in his place to tell you any different. At least right now. “Your neck should be fine. Hopefully you won’t have bruising.”

He lets go and you sighed in relief. “Thank you for helping me. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did, princess.” Raiden noticed that tears welled in your eyes. He absolutely hated to see women cry. Especially women as pretty as you. “Don’t cry, Princess (Y/N).”

You sniffled a little, trying to stop yourself from crying. You had never been shown this much kindness from a man before except from your father but he was dead. “I just don’t understand why I am not worthy of him.” You said, wiping the tears.

Raiden took both your hands, trying to comfort you. “He is a fool, Princess (Y/N). He does not deserve you.”

You bit your lip at the thought. You weren’t looking him in the eyes. “Would you be with someone that…was as chubby?”

Raiden lifted your chin up so you were looking him in the eyes. “If you’re asking if I would ever be with someone like you then the answer is yes. You’re not any less beautiful.”

“Even with all this?” You motioned to your stomach.

Raiden smiled. He placed his hand on your stomach and rubbed it comfortingly. “Even with all that. It’s more to love.”

For the first time, you smiled. Raiden brought his hand to wipe away the last remaining tears that came down your cheeks. “You are so beautiful, Princess (Y/N). Do not let a fool like Reiko tear you down.”

“You can call me, (Y/N) when we’re in private.”

“Okay, (Y/N).”

The two of you heard people start walking in the court. Everyone was starting to come and sit down. Raiden turned his attention back on you. “Sit with me and my friends.”

Your eyes widen at his invitation. You shook your head. “Oh, I don’t want to intrude.”

“None sense. You won’t.” Raiden didn’t take no for an answer. He grabbed your hand softly and made way for you to sit with him and his fellow Earthrealmers.

You sat down next to Raiden. “Hello, Princess (Y/N).” Lord Liu Kang greeted you with a smile.

You smiled back at him. “Hello, Lord Liu Kang.”

“So,” Johnny Cage. “Out of curiosity how old are you?”

Kenshi gave Johnny a look. “Didn’t the first rule your mother taught you was to not ask a woman her age?” Johnny shrugged at this.

You giggled as you thought the Earthrealmers dynamic to be amusing. “I am ten thousand years old.”

Kung Lao spat out his drink and Raiden rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics. “Ten thousand years old? Talk about aging gracefully.” Johnny complimented.

You blushed a little at the compliment. “I did not bring her over here for you to painfully flirt with her, Johnny.” Raiden told him.

“Oh. I see why you did.” Johnny shot him a wink.

Raiden gave a confused look at this. “What does that even mean?”

“You know what it means.”

You laughed slightly, understanding what Johnny had meant by that. Your laughter was cut short when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see it was Reiko. This time he didn’t look mad. More so apologetic. And he had flowers. “Can I talk to you in private, Princess?”

Before you could speak, Raiden spoke for you. “You can talk to her right here.” He honestly did not want to cause a scene but he would if he had to.

His friends picked up on this. They didn’t quite understand what was going on but they could put some of the puzzle pieces together. “Right there is fine.” Kung Lao also told him.

They all glared at him like he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Liu Kang noticed this dynamic but would not intervene. He would only if it came to it.

You watched as you had all the men on your side and it made you feel a lot more safer. You turn back to him. “You can say it right here.”

Reiko was annoyed but tried not to show it. “I’m sorry for how I treated you. You don’t deserve that. You deserve better. Without you, I’m nothing, darling. Would you take me back?”

Raiden scoffed at this half ass apology. He was about to stand up and deal with him again but you placed a hand on his chest to stop him. “It’s okay, Raiden.”

Raiden had prayed you did not fall for his trap but he listened to you. You stood up from the table and wrapped your arms around Reiko’s neck.

Reiko had took it a sign that you were taking him back. Raiden sighed and rubbed his temples. “Are you still my girl?” Reiko asked.

The smile on your face disappeared and was instead placed with hatred. “Let’s both be girls.” You instantly kicked him in his private area, making him groan in pain. The guys all made an “ooh” sound of empathy pain.

You then twisted his right arm did a spin kick, kicking him in the jaw. Reiko fell down.

Raiden’s eyes widen at this. He was glad that you didn’t accept his advances.

While Reiko was on the ground, you grabbed him by the hair and made him look at you. “If you come near me again, I will make you wish you were never alive. Are we clear?” Reiko didn’t speak and you gripped his hair tighter. “Are we clear?”

“Crystal.” He groaned out.

Sindel had stood up from her throne. She noticed the commotion. “(Y/N), my dear. Is everything all right?”

You put on your best acting voice on. “Yes, mother. Reiko just slipped. I’m helping him back up.” You then let go of his hair and held out your hand to help him up.

Reiko hesitantly took it and you brought him at his feet. “Wow, Reiko. You should be more careful. It’s amazing how fast accidents can happen.”

He grumbled some before going back to his seat. You sat gracefully back at the table as if nothing happened.

“A princess that can kick ass? Definitely my type.” Johnny Cage said to you.

Raiden rolled his eyes at his advances. “Well you’re definitely not hers.”

He was right. Raiden was and you would show him tonight.

Raiden was honestly a little bit nervous for the tournament. He still had to defeat very skilled warriors and there was this string of doubt within him.

He decided that it was time for bed so he bid his friends farewell before entering his room that he would be staying in for the time being.

When he did, he noticed a note was placed on the desk. Curious, he picked the note up and read it.

Dear Raiden,

You have been most kind to me. Your gentle nature calms me. Come to my room so we can talk. It the one on the far right next to the fountain. Don’t knock. Just walk straight in and lock the door behind you.

Love, (Y/N)

Suddenly, Raiden wasn’t tired anymore. He smiled a little before placing it down on the desk and walking out the room.

After dinner, Raiden found you to be a delight to be around. You were pretty, intelligent, and humorous. All traits he admired about you. He had to admit that a small crush was forming on him with you but he could never act on it. You were princess. Royalty. He was a farmer.

Those two worlds just didn’t collide.

Raiden did as you instructed him. Though he did feel weird not knocking on the door.

He opened your door and locked it behind him. “(Y/N)?” He called out to you. It was a pretty big room. He thought you had the biggest room in the castle.

He took more steps forward and when he did, he saw you.

You were in only your black bra and underwear with a green robe clinging to your shoulders. Raiden admired your beauty. Then he remembered he was staring at you half naked.

He didn’t want to be rude to you. He immediately placed his hands over his eyes and turned around. “I’m sorry, Princess (Y/N). Did I come at a bad time? Who am I kidding. Of course I did.”

You giggled a little and stood up from the bed. You walked towards him. When you made it to him, you placed your hands on his back and then forced him to turn so he was facing you. “You can open your eyes, silly.”

Trust and believe that Raiden wanted to but he was a gentleman and he did not was to disrespect you by looking at you half naked. “I don’t know-“

You removed his hands from his eyes. His eyes instinctively opened. By the Elder Gods, you were the most beautiful person in the world to him.

Raiden looked at you in awe. The man in him wanted to throw you on the bed and eat you out until you cried. “Princess-“

“(Y/N).” You corrected him.

“Right, (Y/N). Um…why did you want me here?”

You chuckled at his innocence and brought him closer to you. You placed his hands on your ass before wrapping your arms around his neck. “What do you think?”

Raiden wasn’t that naive but this has never happened to him. No, he wasn’t a virgin but a woman has never made the initiative to come at him first. He wasn’t used to this, let alone a princess.

Your lips touched Raiden’s. The two of you kissed slow and sensual.

Raiden’s right hand placed firmly on your waist while the other cupped the left side of your cheek. You sucked the bottom of his lip and Raiden moaned in your mouth.

You pushed Raiden into your dresser. The kiss started to turn more hungry and you started to take the buttons off Raiden’s shirt.

Your lips caught Raiden’s neck and he moaned. You started to suck on his neck and he threw his head back in pleasure.

Then he realized something. “Wait. Wait. Wait.”

You stopped. You looked in Raiden’s eyes nervously. “Did you not like it? Did I not do it right?”

“No, no, no. It was amazing. You’re amazing. It’s just I don’t think we should do this.”

You instantly backed up and became guarded. You fixed the robe so it was now covering your body. “Why?”

Raiden sighed. He took your hands and made sure you were looking in his eyes. “I don’t want you to think because I showed you kindness that now you owe me. (Y/N), you don’t owe me anything. You don’t owe anyone anything.”

He was too sweet. It only made you want to have intimacy more. You walked over to your bed and sat down. “Raiden, I appreciate how caring you are. You’re very sweet but…”

Raiden followed your movements and sat with you on the bed. “What is it? You can tell me.”

You laughed a little. “You promise you won’t call me a strumpet?”

Raiden was a little taken back by the word but smiled none the less. “I would never.”

You sighed a little, looking away from him. “I just want to feel good. Reiko never made me feel good and I just thought maybe with you…”

Raiden understood what you were getting at. He placed his hand over your thigh. “I do not mind to have intimacy with you. I would love to. I just don’t want you to think I forced it upon you.”

“You didn’t. I want this.” You sat on his lap and you kissed him. This time Raiden kissed you back with no hesitancy.

You took his hat and threw it somewhere on the floor. Raiden flipped the two of you so he was on top of you. Then he gave you butterfly kisses on your face, making you giggle. “Stop!”

He smiled sweetly and kissed your lips before kissing the top of your breasts and down to your stomach. He sucked on your stomach lightly and then also gave butterfly kisses there. You giggled again. “Raiden!”

Raiden’s hand went to your underwear and he looked up at you. “Is this okay?” You nodded and he took them off.

Raiden then spread your legs a little. He placed himself in between your legs and started to eat you out. You gasped at the sudden movement of his tongue. You never got this from Reiko.

He licked your folds and swirled his tongue on your clit. You moaned almost too loudly that you had to cover your mouth.

You tasted so sweet to him. He couldn’t get enough of you. If it were possible he’d do this for the rest of his life.

You tugged on his hair a little which he didn’t seem to mind. Raiden continued to suck on your clit with slow but passionate movements.

He didn’t want you to get too overwhelmed so he lifted his head up. Raiden sucked on his fingers and stuck them in your wet pussy.

Raiden watched all your movements to see if you were liking it or not. When he saw you liked the more fast but sensual rhythm, he picked that one:

He leaned down and kissed your lips, making you taste yourself. Raiden then kissed your neck sweetly before sucking on it.

You knew you’d regret in the morning of the hickeys but you couldn’t help it. Raiden’s lips just felt so good on your neck.

“Raiden. Yes. Oh, Raiden.” Raiden felt his dick grow bigger by you moaning and his pants were starting to get uncomfortable to wear.

“You sound so good, princess.” Raiden told you in your ear. “Do I make you feel good?”

“So good. Oh, Raiden.”

Raiden brought your bra down with his open hand and your breasts popped out. Raiden then started to suck on one of them. Him sucking on your nipple felt like fire but the good kind.

You moaned a little louder and your hands were all in his hair. You pushed him further on your breast and he almost had your whole boob in his mouth.

Raiden pulled away and he stopped fingering you. He sucked on his fingers, tasting you. You thought it was the hottest thing ever.

You helped Raiden take off his shirt. You brought him back to your lips and Raiden kissed you with more than lust.

“You are so beautiful.” He kissed your shoulder. “I’m so lucky to have you in this moment.”

You smiled a little at his words. Your hands darted to his pants and you started to help him take them off. Then his underwear. “We can stop if you want.” Raiden told you.

“You think I want you to stop after you ate me out so good?” You questioned him. Raiden chuckled and placed a quick kiss on your lips.

He positioned himself. “Are you ready?” When he saw you nod, he entered you.

You were thankful that he had made you really wet as it didn’t really hurt when he went inside you. “Tell me when you want me to move.” He said.

It didn’t take that long for you to finally adjust to him since he had done a lot of foreplay. “I’m okay.”

Raiden did very slow movements, scared that he would hurt you. He continued to do this until he felt you were used to him.

He went faster but not harder. You moaned at the change of pace. Raiden wasn’t expecting for your pussy to feel this good on his dick. “Oh my. (Y/N). You feel so good.”

You felt on your breasts that were popping out. Raiden watched as your breasts bounced with each movement. Your thick thighs were beautifully made for him. Your stomach also jiggled as he made fast movements in you. It was a beautiful sight to see.

Raiden could not control himself. His hand covered your stomach as it jiggled with each of his movements. He only wondered what your thick ass would look like in doggy style. “Mine.”

When Raiden touched all over you, it made you feel beautiful. It meant more than him saying it. He showed it.

“Oh, Raiden. Please cum in me. I want it all inside of me. Please.”

Raiden picked both of your thick thighs and he wrapped them around his waist so he could grant your request. He would be forced to cum inside of you now.

Raiden honestly was starting to lose his control of his gentleman like personality and the man in him was coming out. He was trying to hold it back. “Tell me how much you want me.”

“I want you so bad, Raiden. I don’t want you to ever stop.”

Raiden could not handle his intrusive thoughts anymore. He wanted you on all fours. “Do you mind if we try something?”

With Raiden? You were down for almost anything. “Yeah, sure.”

Raiden stopped pumping into you. He took himself out. “Get on all fours.”

You honestly did not expect Raiden to be into this but you followed his direction. You turned yourself over so you were on your hands and knees.

Raiden brought your ass towards him and slipped himself back inside of you. With one good thrust, he watched your perfect round ass jiggle and that was all the motivation he needed to keep going.

The new position hurt you only slightly but Raiden still made sure to go slow in you before going all out.

When Raiden thought you were ready, he went faster. He watched as your ass bounced on him over and over again. If Raiden did swear, he would be swearing like a sailor right now.

You moaned at the new speed Raiden was going. “Oh yes. Keep going. Like that.”

Raiden bit his lip. Again, he let his intrusive thoughts win and he slapped your ass lightly. Luckily, you were into that and you moaned at it. “You look so good.” He complimented you. His hands rest on your ass and he watched it continue to jiggle with each thrust. “All mine. I’m the only man that can handle this.”

Another thing you didn’t expect was the amount of talking Raiden did. He didn’t do too much. He would never degrade you or call you names. He just liked to praise you.

“Say it. I’m the only one that can handle your beautiful self.”

Raiden was going harder in you. It felt good that he was going harder but you could barley speak because of it. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can.” Raiden slapped your ass and you moaned. “Say it.”

“You’re the only one that can handle me.”

“Say you’re beautiful.”

“I’m beautiful. Oh my gods. Raiden. You’re hitting my spot.”

You decided to throw your ass back at Raiden and he moaned at this. “Oh my love, I can’t wait to cum inside you.” He told you. He traced over your stretch marks and when he noticed them it turned him on even more.

Raiden started to feel the tightness in his chest. He did not want this to end. Raiden pulled out of you to get the feeling to calm down.

You turned over so you laid on your back and looked at him curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m trying to hold it.”

You giggled. You helped Raiden back inside of you and he moaned being back in contact. “It’s okay. I’m almost there too.”

Raiden kissed you passionately and wrapped your thick thighs around his waist again before going in you at his fast pace.

He licked his fingers and started to play with your clit. You moaned. “Raiden. I need you.”

“I need you too.” Raiden nibbled on your neck softly as he buried himself completely in you.

The pressure of your clit and him pounding into you was all too much. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can. I know you can do it, beautiful.” Raiden rubbed in even harsher circles and he noticed you flinging your head back.

“I’m so close, Raiden. Please let me cum.”

Raiden removed his fingers from your clit and continued with his pace. “Tell me you’re all mine.”

Your fingernails dug into Raiden’s arm but he didn’t seem to care. Tears welled up in your eyes at the immense pleasure you were facing. “I’m yours, Raiden. I’m all yours.”

Raiden gripped your thighs. His pace was getting a little sloppy as he was about to cum too. “Oh, my. You’re too good for me, (Y/N).” His hips rolled slowly against yours.

“Yes, yes, yes.”

Raiden’s grip was tighter. He closed his eyes as he came undone. “Oh I’m cumming. Oh (Y/N). I’m cumming.”

“Give it to me, darling. I want it all inside of me.” You went after him and flung your head back. “Yes, Raiden. I’m cumming too. Please. Yes. Yes.”

Raiden rode both of your orgasms out. He made sure he got every drop of cum in you. He pulled out of you and he saw some cum slipping out of you.

Raiden used his finger and placed the cum back inside of you and you moaned. He placed a sweet kiss on your lips. “Did I make you feel good?”

“Very.” You told him and he chuckled. You brought him to lay down and when he did, you snuggled against him. “We should make this a habit.”

“I would love that, princess.”

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #liu kang #mortal kombat 1 #kitana #kung lao #mileena #raiden #johnny cage #mk #mk 1 #mk sindel #raiden x reader #mk reiko #kenshi takahashi

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eddievanhammettmunson · 2 years ago

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Heavy

Steve Harrington x plus size female reader

Author’s note- hola my ghouls, goblins, fellow gremlins. I’m here with a Steve one shot. I don’t write for him often so I hope o can do him some justice. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated.

Warnings- 18+++++!!!!!!! PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A MINOR THANK YOU. mentions of fat phobia, self esteem issues. Bullying, angst, fluff, cursing,oral (f &m receiving) smut! P in V unprotected sex!, squirting.

Summary- being a big girl in high school is hard. King Steve and his friends hadn’t made it any easier. Can he make it up to you now that you’ve graduated?10.8k words

You knew who Steve Harrington was. Everybody did. He was impossible to miss. All the guys wanted to be him and all the ladies loved him. Well. Almost all the ladies. All except you. You could admit to yourself Steve was a good looking guy but you couldn’t get past who he was as a person.

Back in High School you were mostly a loner except for a few friends you made in classes and a few people you sat with at lunch. Other than that you tried your best to keep to yourself throughout High School . That however was made difficult because of Tommy and Carol. Mostly Carol. She bullied you endlessly for your weight. Whether it was making a snarky remark in the hallway or laughing at you in gym class, she made your high school years hell. And with that came Tommy and Steve. Who usually stood behind her and didn’t say a word to defend you. On special days Tommy would chirp in and make snarky remarks with her. And sometimes you would catch Steve laughing.

The best day was the day you graduated because you knew you wouldn’t have to deal with any of them on a day to day basis anymore. Hell if you were lucky you wouldn’t even have to see their faces ever again. Or so you thought.

The summer after your graduation you found a job at a record store at star court mall. The stores name was Sam Goody. It was the best job cause you got to do your favorite thing. Stock records and listen to music all day. Everyday on your break you’d go to the food court and visit your old band friend Robin who worked at scoops ahoy. She was now going to be a senior and she managed to keep you up on all the juicy high school gossip now that you were out of high school.

Today had been a day just like any other. You’d stocked your records, listened to music, and flipped through magazines at the counter until it was time to close the shop and go on a lunch break. You walked into scoops ahoy just like usual and then suddenly stopped in your tracks.

There at the counter in that stupid scoops ahoy uniform was the one and only Steve Harrington. And he was busy talking to Robin. You were so frozen you didn’t even notice when Robin had turned her attention to you and tried waving you into the shop. But your eyes were trained on Steve. And as soon as he saw you, you quickly backed away and left the shop. Not bothering to look back. You feel bad about leaving Robin like that but there was no way you were going to subject yourself to “king Steve” now that you were graduated. And now that he worked there you’d have to find another place to go on your lunch break.

Robin was very confused when she turned to look at you and watched as you quickly fled the ice cream shop. She tracked your eye-line and figured you were looking at the boy next to her. Steve Harrington in training. It clicked for her then. She didn’t say anything but she huffed and returned to showing Steve the ropes of the shop.

Steve on the other hand was a bit distracted. He’d seen Robin waving at someone and trying to get them to come into the shop and when he turned to see you standing there, eyes wide like a deer in headlights staring straight at him, he got a pit in his stomach. That pit became much deeper when he watched as you practically sprinted out of the store.

Steve wasn’t an idiot. He didn’t need to be told what happened in that moment. He knew exactly why you decided not to come into the shop. And he felt guilty. But he decided to push it down and continue with his training. He’d worry about it another time. Surely you couldn’t avoid the shop forever. Especially since he sees that you’re friends with Robin.

Oh how wrong Steve was. He’s been working at scoops ahoy all summer now and you’ve yet to come back to the shop. He’s seen you around the mall and he knows you work at Sam goody but ever since his first day working there you haven’t stepped foot in scoops ahoy. Now you usually go get a hot dog on a stick and meet Robin behind the mall to chit chat on breaks or Robin comes to you at Sam goody.

Robin and Steve have grown a lot closer and consider each other friends. Robin has seen that the Steve she works with is no longer the king Steve that ruled Hawkins high. But Steve still wishes he could get that through to you. If you’d even give him a chance.

It’s a Tuesday and the mall is pretty slow. Even though it’s summer break a Tuesday afternoon still isn’t prime ice cream time. Steve watches as Robin walks back in from her break and next to her is you. Steve’s breath hitches. For a second he has hope you’ll actually walk in the store.

You glance past Robin and look at Steve and quickly turn your eyes in the opposite direction and keep walking, saying a quick goodbye to Robin. Steve’s whole body deflates. He leans back against the counter and runs his hands up and down his face.

Robin comes up to the counter and leans on the counter with him shoulder to shoulder. “What’s up Harrington?”

Steve thinks for a moment deciding whether or not he should talk to Robin about this. Since you and her were friends, maybe she could help him out.

He sighs heavily before speaking. “You and y/n are friends right?”

“Yup. Have been since I was a freshman and she was a sophomore.”

“Has she….well I don’t know…has she ever…talked about me?”

For once in her life Robin didn’t want to speak. She knew Steve wouldn’t want to hear what she had to say.

“Come on Robin I know she must have said something. She avoids this place like the plague ever since I started working here.”

Robin sighs and stands from the counter.

“Look Steve I know you’re not “king Steve” anymore….but she doesn’t… all she knows is the Steve who was friends with Tommy and carol who bullied her for being fat. Can you blame her for not wanting to see you? Why does it bug you so much anyway?”

Steve wanted to tell Robin why it bugged him so much. Why it’s always going to bug him that you hate him. But he couldn’t tell Robin that. And he could never tell you that. It wouldn’t be fair. How could Steve ever explain that all this time he’s thought you were beautiful and an amazing girl all the while he let his friends bully you to no end? How could he explain to Robin that watching you walk past the store and refuse to come in because of him killed him?

All Steve did in return to robins question was sigh and stand from the counter and go to the back to restock the ice cream.

Summer was moving swiftly and Steve had given up on his hopes of being able to talk to you. He had become content in knowing you would hate him forever and he would have to live with that cause it’s his bed and he must lie in it.

You had fallen into a routine of avoiding scoops ahoy at all costs whenever Steve was around. You managed to still get ice cream from time to time because Robin was very helpful and told you whenever Steve wouldn’t be working.

Today was a scorcher and Robin had told you yesterday that Steve wouldn’t be working today. So you did your usual closing the shop routine and walked over to scoops ahoy. You didn’t see Robin at the counter when you walked in so you stood there for a minute looking at all the flavors and decided which one to get.

After a few moments of standing there and looking at flavors you hear the door to the back swing open and you begin to say something to Robin about ignoring customers but you quickly shut your mouth and swallow hard when you see who walks through the door.

It’s not Robin. It’s Steve. He stops when he sees you too. Instead of your fight or flight kicking in, you’re just frozen. Stood there staring at each other for what is definitely too long. Eventually however you gain your bearings and cough slightly to snap Steve out of his trance as well. He stands up straighter and walks behind the counter.

You flick your eyes back down to the ice cream to avoid looking at him.

You’re the first to speak.

“I thought Robin was working today.” You say so quietly Steve almost doesn’t hear you.

“She uh called out sick this morning…. I’m happy to help you though. What can I get for ya?”

“The birthday cake flavor” your voice is somehow smaller than it was a second ago and it’s clear being in his presence is only making you more and more nervous.

Steve grabs a bowl and instead of giving you one scoop he gives you two. He hands it to you over the counter and for a brief second your fingers touch. Steve feels like he’s been electrified and it makes your entire body flinch back. Snatching the ices cream from him. He can see your cheeks turn a rosy pink. If you’d been looking at him you would have seen his do the same.

You walk towards the register and pull out some money and try to hand it to Steve.

“It’s on the house.”

You look up at him for a brief second, confusion flashed across your features.

“W-What?”

“I said it’s on the house.”

You suddenly become defensive. You don’t know what game he’s playing. Why he’s being nice to you. You’re still looking at the ground but you raise your voice a bit and it’s clear you’re not happy.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at here Harrington but whatever prank you’re pulling isn’t gonna work.”

Steve deflates.

“I-Im not playing any game here. I’m just-I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

He sighs heavily. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I’ve been hoping you were gonna walk into this shop for months so I could apologize for how I treated you in high school. But when I realized you were avoiding the store just because of me I figured I’d let it go and not bug you or make it worse. So when you walked In here today I was hoping we could form an olive branch ya know? And you definitely don’t have to forgive me. And you don’t have to say anything now. But just-just think about it okay? I really am sorry and if you want this can be the first of many ice creams trying to prove that.”

You finally look up from the floor and look at his face. His words sound genuine. And his facial expression reads guilt.

“I’m not saying I forgive you just cause you gave me free ice cream…..but thank you. For apologizing. I will accept the ice cream and the apology.”

Steve smiles and you smile back. You walk out of the store ice cream In hand and for once Steve feels like he has hope.

The next day you’re about to go on your lunch break to see Robin. Usually you guys meet out back and she usually gets there a bit later than you. Today however you decide to test the waters.

You walk into scoops ahoy to the surprise of both Steve and Robin. You walk right up to the counter and say hello to them both. Robin walks out from behind the counter and the two of you walk to the back of the building for your break.

“So you over your Steve fear?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m over it…but I’m working on it. He apologized to me yesterday when you were sick and his apology seemed genuine.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you he isn’t king Steve anymore.”

“Yeah but it’s much harder to believe that when I don’t work with him everyday Robin. Besides it’s not like him and I are friends or anything. It was just an apology.”

“If you say so.”

Weeks go by and you get better at walking into scoops ahoy and saying hello to Steve. A few times you guys even strike up a small conversation. What you don’t notice in these small conversations however is just how much Steve is trying to flirt with you. Which you don’t seem to notice at all. However Robin does.

Today after you leave scoops ahoy, two scoops of birthday cake ice cream in hand, free from Steve. Robin walks up to the counter and leans on it. Staring at Steve intensely. He begins to get annoyed by it.

“What Robin?”

“Ohhhhh nothing…..just that you’re totally head over heels for her”

Steve drops his ice cream scoop on the ground and clammers to pick it up.

“Pfft what? I have no idea what you’re talking about Robin.”

“Oh come on Steve how stupid to you think I am. Now it’s so obvious why her not coming In here bothered you so much and now that she does you’re trying to flirt with her. So come on, how long have hot liked her?”

Steve sighs and leans against the counter.

“Believe it or not I’ve liked her since freshman year. We had English class together and she was always so sweet. She was so smart too. Way smarter than me. And she was stunning. I stared at her constantly”

“Then why did you, Tommy, and carol bully her so much?”

“God I’m gonna sound like such an ass…I never told Tommy and Carol I liked her. I never told anybody. I was ashamed you know? I was king Steve. I was supposed to date the hot cheerleaders or the skinny preppy girls and well. She wasn’t. And I realize now how stupid that is and I regret it every single day.”

“Maybe you should tell her that.”

Steve shoots up like a rocket.

“NO! SHE CAN NEVER KNOW ROBIN AND YOU CANT TELL HER! Promise me you won’t tell her.”

“Why not? I thought you said you weren’t ashamed anymore and you regret it everyday?”

“I’m not ashamed Robin. But she hated me a few weeks ago. I just got her to start talking to me. If I were to tell her this she might go back to hating me and never talking to me again. I just got her. I don’t wanna lose her. If I can even be her friend I’ll be happy.”

Robin decided to drop the subject and promises Steve that she won’t say anything to you. And she doesn’t. Instead she observes. She observes over the coming weeks how much more comfortable you and Steve become. Like two pees in a pod. She watches as the conversations grow longer and eventually Steve joins you and Robin on your breaks.

Today the three of you are on break and you’re laughing at one of Steve’s jokes as Robin rolls her eyes. Robin takes notice of the way you put your hand on his arm as you laugh at his joke, and how hard you laugh at it considering Robin didn’t find it nearly as funny as you did apparently.

Steve announces his leave cause someone has to go back inside to watch scoops and he’s probably already been out there too long. Leaving you and Robin alone.

“Soooooo. You and Steve?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“I heard you but I don’t know what you mean. What about me and Steve?”

“Well do you like him?”

You choke on air for a second. Over the time you’ve been getting to know Steve you had to admit the boy was attractive….and funny…and a little dreamy. But you told yourself there was no use in day dreaming about a boy like him. That was nothing that would ever come of it so it didn’t matter what you felt.

“Robin I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on. Nobody laughs that hard at Steve’s joke. And I didn’t miss the way you grabbed his arm.”

“I’m sorry I actually found it funny. And I grab your arm all the time Robin. It’s just something I do. Don’t read into it.”

“I’m just saying. Would it be such a bad thing if you did like him?”

You sigh. “Even if I did, Which I’m not saying I do, it wouldn’t matter. He’s Steve. And I’m me. He wouldn’t ever like me that way so there’s no use in thinking about it.”

Robin became defensive of you for a second. You were her friend. How dare you talk down about yourself like that so casually?

“What do you mean “you’re you?” I know you and you’re amazing! He’d be lucky to have you. You know that right?”

You begin to stand up and walk inside.

“Robin can we just drop this. Please. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

You and Robin walk back to scoops ahoy and you say goodbye to Robin and Steve.

When Steve gets off work that day he decides to do something without telling Robin. He watches Robin leave the store and head to her bike outside the mall. Steve would normally give her a ride home but he made an excuse saying he had to run errands at the mall for his mom so he would be there late.

That was a lie. His mom didn’t need anything from him or the mall. Instead after work Steve heads over to Sam goody. He walks in the store and you don’t seem to notice as you’re stocking some records.

He walks over to the records you’re stocking and takes one out of the crate you’re using to carry them around. When he reaches in the crate you look up at him in surprise and then smile.

“Oh hi Steve. What are you doing here?”

Now it was time to put his plan into action.

“Well I was wondering if you wanted to hangout tonight?”

“Oh! Sure! Where’s Robin?”

Steve slumps a little.

“Uh Robin wouldn’t be there. It would just be me and you…”

He notices the way you tense and the way your face contorts into confusion.

“So you want to hangout…alone….with me?”

“Well yeah. That’s kinda why I asked.”

“It’s just-I-well-“ you sigh and set the records down.

“Steve are you sure?”

Steve’s beginning to lose his confidence here. He was expecting either a yes or no. Definitely not this.

“Yes I’m sure. I was thinking maybe we could hangout at the diner in town and then go back to my place for a movie?”

Your face has an expression that Steve can’t quite read. And you can tell you’re making Steve nervous.

“Okay Steve. I get off in about 30 minutes if you wanna wait in here and listen to music while I stock the last of the records and cassettes.”

Steve’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. He walks over to the stool at the counter and watches as you work. He finds himself hypnotized by you. The way your soft hands flick through the records, the way your nice big hips sway as you walk, the way he can see your tummy is driving him wild. Then when he thinks it can’t get any better. You bend over to pick up a dropped cassette. He almost groans out loud. He quickly covers it with a cough and you look over at him and give him a smile which he returns.

The 30 minutes seems to last forever as he quickly realizes he’s growing a boner just watching you work. While you’re not looking he quickly sticks his hand down his pants and tucks his dick into the waistband of his pants. You finally finish stocking and look at the time and begin to close up shop.

Steve leads you out to his car and opens the door for you. You get in the passenger seat and Steve tells you that you can pick the music. You put on some Bon Jovi and it takes a few minutes but you begin to quietly sing along to yourself as you look out the window. Steve can barely hear you but he thinks your voice sounds beautiful. He smiles to himself as he listens to you.

Eventually the two of you pull into the diner and walk in and are seated as a nice booth near the window. You guys order some drinks and begin to look at the menu.

As you’re looking at the menu Steve wads up the little paper that comes on his straw and he throws it at your face to get your attention and you look up and give him an angry stare that he can tell isn’t angry. He stares back until you break and laugh.

He decides to test the waters and say something he wouldn’t normally say.

“You remember Ms Jones English class? Freshman year?”

Although you and Steve have been growing closer you’ve yet to talk about high school. Both avoiding it as a sore subject.

“Uh yeah?”

“I remember you always used to read this book. The same one all the time. Even if we were required to read a different book you’d always have that book with you. What was it called? We ended up having to read it senior year and I remember when we had to read it you were ecstatic cause you already knew everything about it. Pride and Prejudice right?”

You didn’t answer for a beat. You didn’t know Steve noticed you outside the times his friends spent bullying you. And the fact that he remembered what book it was caught you off guard.

“Uh yeah. Pride and Prejudice is still my favorite. I reread it all the time.”

“Why’s it your favorite?”

“Because it was the first book I read where felt like I could see the book laid out in my mind. Where I could imagine myself as the protagonist ya know?”

“Now I don’t remember a ton about the book but I remember her name was Elizabeth Bennet right? You see yourself as her. Why?”

Your face turns a little redder and he takes notice.

“Well- Lizzie was always seen as somewhat inferior. In terms of finances and looks compared to her sisters and I guess I could relate to that.”

“You’re not inferior.”

You sigh. “I didn’t say that for a pep talk Steve. I’m just saying I relate to her. Whether you think I’m inferior or not.”

“I know. And I know you don’t need a pep talk. But you’re not inferior okay?”

Just then the waiter comes up to take your orders. Steve orders a club sandwich with onion rings and you order a burger and fries.

The two of you laugh and talk as you wait for your food and eventually it arrives. Just as you’re about to dig in you hear an all too familiar laugh. You shut your eyes tight and try to pretend like you’ve disappeared. But when you open your eyes you’re still there. And so is Tommy H and fucking Carol.

You can hear carols witch cackle as the two of them approach the booth.

“Well well well look what we have here. King Steve out with the town cow.” Tommy says as he wraps his arm around carols shoulder.

Steve quickly stands up and gets in Tommy’s face.

“What did I tell you about shutting your damn mouth man?”

“Oh really Steve? You gonna fight me? Over that?” He points at you and you can feel the tears welling in your eyes. You didn’t want to be here.

Steve shoves Tommy back hard. Tommy bumps into a table and brushes off his jacket.

“I said shut.your. Damn. Mouth.”

Carol steps in front of Tommy.

“He’s not worth it Tommy. Don’t waste your time. Let Steve have the Heifer.”

Steve steps closer to the two of them.

“You leave her alone you hear me? I didn’t stop you guys shit back then and I should’ve but I’m not gonna let it happen now.”

Tommy huffs out a laugh and wraps his arm back around Carol and the two of them saunter out of the restaurant unbothered by the encounter. Steve turns his attention back to you at the table and what he finds breaks his heart.

There you are sitting with your head down. Breathing heavily, clearly trying to hold in your sobs. Steve can barely see your face but from what he can see, he can see tears streaming down them as you cry silently. He quickly squeezes in next to you on your side of the booth and he tries to wrap and arm around you but you quickly slide away and hit the wall getting as far away from him as you could.

“Y/n? I’m so sorry about them I had no idea they were even in town. I thought they left Hawkins I had no idea they’d be here.”

Your voice is just above a squeak as you answer.

“It’s okay. Thank you for defending me. I think I should go.”

“What! Why? We haven’t even eaten yet? Come on don’t let them ruin this.”

You huff a pained laugh. “Yeah like I need to eat this. As if I haven’t eaten enough already. Tommy and carol are right Steve. You shouldn’t waste your time hanging out with me. I get you feel bad about high school and everything but really you don’t need to hangout with me out of pity.”

Steve felt so much pain in his chest he wanted to topple over. He felt at fault. He’d never defended you before and now you had this horrible opinion of yourself. You viewed yourself as inferior: as a waste of time to hangout with. And he felt like it was all his fault.

He scooted closer to you and slowly reached up to grab your face in his hands and you let him. He turned your face to where you were looking at him with teary eyes. He began to speak in the most serious voice he could muster.

“You are NOT a waste to hangout with. I’m NOT hanging out with you out of pity. I’m here with you because I want to be. Please stay and eat with me? Please?”

You blink back some tears and nod your head yes.

It takes a few minutes but eventually Steve gets you laughing again. Mostly cause he starts playing with his food just to try and make you laugh. He notices you don’t finishes your meal and he wants to say something but he doesn’t want to push his luck.

He pays for both meals despite your protest and the two of you leave the restaurant and head back to Steve’s house.

The drive to Steves house is full of laughter and horrible singing impressions on Steve’s part. When you get there you’re shocked. You always heard about king Steve’s house in high school and how huge it was but you never expected this. You walk in and you’re very hesitant to touch anything. Steve can sense your nerves and he grabs your hand and leads you further into the house. He stops in the living room in front of the couch.

“Okay I’m gonna go change out of this stupid ass scoops uniform and I’ll be right back down if you wanna pick out a movie?”

As Steve turns to leave you quickly grab his hand and he spins back around.

“You okay?”

“I-I just…. Well. Steve what if your parents come home? And they see….well…me? Im not exactly the type of girl you usually bring home.”

Steve gives a lopsided smile and squeezes your hand.

“1. My parents are never ever home so the chances of them coming home and seeing you are like a billion to one. And even if they did screw them. I can be with whoever I want.”

Steve turns to leave again and this time you let him. You pick out a movie and sit on the couch and make yourself comfortable amongst the pillows.

Eventually Steve returns in his pajamas and with a bowl of popcorn in hand. He sits down directly next to you despite having a lot of open couch space left. He presses play on the movie and leans back in the pillows along with you and kicks his legs up on the coffee table.

About an hour into the movie Steve yawns stretches, moving his arm to rest on your shoulder. Without really thinking about it you lean into it and make yourself comfortable at his side. Steve smiles to himself and his small victory.

Eventually the movie ends and Steve puts on a movie as his choice and returns to your side. Wrapping his arm around you. As the night goes on the both of you just keep picking movies turn by turn. Eventually Steve notices your breathing has gone heavy and your body has fully slumped against his own. You’re asleep.

He smiles to himself and lays down gently on the couch placing you gently with him. He lets the movie play out and doesn’t put a new one in. Instead he just drifts off with you In his arms. It’s the best sleep he’s had in awhile.

Movie nights begin to become a regular thing between you and Steve. Neither one of you mentioning the mornings spent waking up together. Eventually you start leaving pajamas and clothing at his house and he begins to do the same at yours.

As the summer closes you’re at home one night when you hear about the awful fire at star court mall that killed a bunch of people. You weren’t working that day but you knew Steve and Robin were.

You drive as quickly as you can to the star court mall parking lot and desperately search for your friends hoping they’re alive. You’re standing in the parking lot frantically scanning faces when you hear a familiar voice call your name. You whip around to find Robin leaning against a car next to max who comes into the record store with her friends all the time. You run up to Robin and quickly give her a hug.

“Oh Robs! Are you okay? What the hell happened?”

Robin explains how there was some kind of fire explosion and a lot of people were hurt. The details she gives are kind of vague but you couldn’t care less because you’re just lucky your friend is alive.

“Robin. Where’s Steve?”

She points to a nearby ambulance and you quickly rush over to the back of it. What you see when you open the door shocks you. There Steve sits getting treated by a paramedic. It looks like he’s been beat to shit. You swallow hard. Your heart aches for him and what he must have been through to suffer those injuries. But you’re just thankful he’s alive. You suspect there’s more to this mall fire than everyone’s letting on.

Steve quickly looks over at you. Turning his head much to the paramedics annoyance. He says your name in a bit of raspy voice and reaches his hand out to you.

You grab his hand quickly and give it a tight squeeze. You climb up in the back of the ambulance and sit next to Steve as he’s being treated. Every once in awhile you squeeze each others hands. Eventually the paramedic finishes up and leaves the ambulance to tend to someone else. Leaving you and Steve alone. You take a deep breath and gently cup Steve’s face in a way that ensures it won’t hurt him and make him turn to face you.

“Steve. I know this wasn’t just a mall fire. You don’t have to tell me what happened. You probably can’t. And I understand that. Just know I’m so happy you’re alive. And I’m here in any way that you need me.”

He gives you a weak smile and pulls you in for a hug that makes him wince in pain. But he doesn’t care. He holds you tight regardless. He whispers in your ear.

“Take me home?”

You nod your head yes and grab his hand as you leave the ambulance. You say goodbye to everyone and offer rides to Robin and some of the kids but they all say they’ll be okay. You drive Steve back to his house and help him inside.

You walk to where you have your pajamas stored and go to change. When you come out of the bathroom you hear Steve struggling in pain. You rush over to find him in his room changing. You quickly try to turn around and head out of the room but you bump loudly into the door. Catching Steve’s attention.

He turns around to see you standing there.

“Sorry! I heard you and it sounded like you were in pain so I came to check on you and you were changing so I tried to leave but then I hit the door. I promise I’m not a creep!”

“Sweetheart. Could you actually help me out here?”

“W-what?”

Steve sighs. “ I’m in a lot of pain here and I don’t think I can change into my pajamas. If you can just help me get my shirt and pants off so I can sleep in my boxers you’d be a life saver.”

The thought of undressing Steve and seeing him in his boxers makes your cheeks go rosy and makes you tingle all over. You had to remind yourself you were just helping out a friend.

You make your way across the room to Steve and tell him to lift his arms above his head as best he can. He obliges. As gently as you can you grab his shirt and roll it up his body as slowly as possible to avoid tugging on anything or causing him pain.

Eventually you get his shirt off and you toss it to the ground. Here you are standing in Steve Harrington’s bedroom with him shirtless as you’re undressing him. You know about a hundred girls who would kill to be in your position.

The next part is what has you nervous. You reach down and undo his belt and slowly pull it through the loops. It gets a little caught on a loop so you tug just a little and you hear Steve groan.

“Sorry Steve!”

“It’s okay sweetheart. You’re doing great.”

Steve noticed your hands are shaking a lot and he gently grabs your wrists.

“Are you okay?” He asks quietly.

You laugh gently. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

He gives a gentle laugh as well. “I mean your hands are shaking.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay. I just-well. God this is so stupid. I’ve never been this close to anyone before. And I’ve certainly never undressed someone before.”

Steve hadn’t even considered that when he asked you. He didn’t mean to make you nervous. He was just in so much pain. And you were being so gentle with him.

“I can try and finish undressing myself if you want. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay Steve. You’re in pain. I’m a big girl I can do this.”

You move your hands out of his grasp and go to undo his pants. Suddenly it’s Steve who realizes he might have a problem. With you being so gentle and so close to him and him being so out of it he knows he can pop a boner any second and there’s no way he can stop it.

It’s even worse when you begin to move his pants down his legs and you kneel to make it easier on you. He looks down for a brief second and you look up at him and he realizes he’s fucked. His head quickly snaps up to look at the ceiling cause there’s no way he can look at you on your knees in front of him like that, like the way he’s dreamed, and not pop a boner.

He starts taking deep breaths through his nose and you ask him to lift up a leg so he does. He steps out of the first pant leg and then the next. Leaving him only in his boxers. You stand back up and throw his pants across the room and they land with his shirt. He looks back down from the ceiling and finds you staring at his shirtless form and it makes him smile a little to know you’re checking him out.

You however quickly realize what you’re doing and you clear your throat and say goodnight as you move to leave Steve’s room. Having planned on sleeping in one of the guest rooms. As you move to leave Steve gently grabs your arm and pulls you close to him.

“Stay with me?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be in pain cause I’m laying with you?”

“Honey I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without you.”

The way he says it has your heart melting. In this moment you realize no matter what you told yourself and no matter how hard you tried to deny it. You were head over heels for Steve Harrington. You were so relieved to find out he was alive tonight. But now him saying he needed you? Oh you were so fucked.

You silently nodded your head and Steve led you to the bed where you both laid down and made yourselves comfortable holding each other. Despite all the horrible things he’d been through. Steve didn’t have a single nightmare with you.

The months go by and Steve and Robin find new jobs at family video. You follow them and get a job next door at the arcade. Everyday you all still take your breaks together and everyday Robin notices your and Steve getting closer and closer.

One day Steve has to stay in on break and help Keith check in some late videos so it leaves you and Robin alone. She decided to breach the subject again.

“Soooooooo I’m gonna ask something you’re not gonna like.”

You give a chuckle and continue to fiddle with something on the bench.

“Okay robs go for it.”

“When are you gonna tell Steve you like him.”

There’s a loud thunk as you slam your head onto the table.

“You’re right Robin I didn’t like that.”

“Well?”

You sigh.

“I’m never gonna tell him Robin.”

“AHA! So you do like him!”

You hit your head on the table again and Robin moves her hand to become a barrier between your head and the table.

“Can we drop this please?”

“Absolutely not! You have to tell him!”

“I don’t “have” to do anything. Especially when it would be pointless. Steve is my friend and he would never see me that way. End of story. I’m not gonna tell him that just to lose him.”

Robins internally screaming at how stupid the two of you are.

“Why don’t you think Steve could see you that way?”

“Robin come on? The last girl he dated was nancy. The girl before that was Stacy. The girl before that was Rebecca. You know what all the girls Steve’s dated have in common?”

“Um… they all have a vagina? I think?”

You laugh. “Well yeah…but none of them are fat. Steve wouldn’t date a fat girl like me and I don’t blame him. I’m just not attractive and that’s something I have to live with.”

Robins about to respond and tell you off for speaking so lowly of yourself when the back door to the video store swings open and out walks Steve. The two of you go oddly quiet and Steve gives a confused look between the two of you.

“What did I miss?”

“Nothing! I just remembered I have to go empty the change out of the arcade machines so I’m gonna go.”

“But we haven’t even gotten a chance to talk or eat yet?” Steve says a little sad.

“Sorry Stevie.” You quickly walk back in the building leaving Steve and Robin alone.

“What the hell was that about?”

Robin doesn’t answer.

“Robin? Hellooooo?” He waves a hand in front of her face and snaps a couple of times.

“I want to tell you something but I don’t want to be a bad friend but I also just want my friends to be happy.”

“Robin what the hell are you talking about?”

“SHE LIKES YOU!” Robin blurts it out without thinking too much.

Steve stands there frozen.

“W-what?”

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Well Robin you can’t unsay it so now you have to elaborate.”

“Okay okay. She likes you. But she doesn’t think you could ever like her back so she has no plans of ever telling you or doing anything about it.”

“What? Why doesn’t she think I can like her back? Isn’t it like stupid obvious that I’m absolutely gone for her?”

“She says she thinks she’s too fat for you. That you’ve only ever dated skinny girls so that’s all you must be interested in and there’s no way you could like her. She said and I quote “I’m just not attractive and that’s something I have to live with.””

Steve sits down on the bench and slides a hand over his face.

“Fuck! Doesn’t she realize how beautiful she is? How do I make her see that Robin? How do I make her see that I want her?”

“Maybe. Dingus. Start by telling her? Maybe she’d believe it if she actually heard it.”

He swallows hard. She’s right. He has to find a way to tell you. He gets up from the bench and walks towards the door to the arcade and walks inside. He finds you not changing out the money in the machines but instead he finds you resting your head on the counter.

“Hey.” He says quietly.

Your head shoots up off the counter.

“Hey.”

“Wanna come over for movie night tonight?”

“Sure. You gonna grab some movie options from work?”

“You know it baby.”

“Okay I’ll see you when we get off then.”

Steve returns to family video and rents all your favorite movies. At the end of your shift the three of you climb into Steve’s car. He drops Robin off at her house and takes the two of you back to his house.

You walk in as if you own the place and quickly change out of your work clothes and make your way back to the sofa. You sit down and swing your legs over Steve’s. He lets the first movie play and orders some pizza.

By the time the second movie plays and the pizza has been eaten Steve thinks it’s time to try and talk to you. He doesn’t know where to start so he starts stroking a hand up and down the legs that cover his own. He moves his hand a little higher to rest on your thigh and he gives it a light squeeze. You turn to look at him and find him already looking. He grabs the remote and pauses the movie much to your confusion.

“Can we talk?”

Steve notices the way your face turns into nervousness.

“Yeah Stevie what’s up?”

He sighs and takes a deep breath and you can tell whatever he’s trying to say is hard for him. You reach a hand up and swipe some of the hair out of his face and run a knuckle down across his forehead in a soothing motion.

“Sweetheart I’m just gonna come out and say it. I’m crazy about you. I always have been. And I know you like me too.”

You retract your hand quickly.

“That’s not funny Steve.” The look on your face is full of confusion and it’s slowly morphing into anger.

“Robin told you didn’t she? And now I’m what? Some joke between you two? Haha the fat girl likes me. Let me play with her emotions is that it Steve?” You start to move off the couch and Steve desperately starts clinging to you.

“NO! No! Absolutely not! That’s not what this is! I would never do that to you! Yes Robin told me you liked me but she only told me cause she knows how crazy I’ve been about you!”

You’re still trying to move off of the couch and now you’re starting to cry. Steve thinks to himself fuck how could this go so wrong.

“B-but you don’t like me Steve. Y-you can’t!”

“What?”

He grabs hold of your arms and tries to get you to look at him but you refuse.

“Honey what do you mean? Why can’t I like you?”

“BECAUSE IM FAT STEVE! BOYS LIKE YOU DONT LIKE GIRLS LIKE ME! IT JUST DOESNT HAPPEN!”

Steve’s taken aback by you shouting at him but it doesn’t sway him one bit. If anything he tries to pull you closer to him.

“Please look at me.”

You can hear the desperation in his voice so you decide to glance up at him. You find him staring deeply into your eyes.

“Sweetheart I’ve been head over heels for you since the day I met you in that stupid English class freshman year. I watched you every day to see what you were reading or writing. I was so fucking stupid for being friends with Tommy and carol and letting them treat you the way they did but my head was too far up my own ass to realize that what I was doing was wrong. I should have been letting you know every fucking day how stunning you are. And you’re right. I don’t like you. Because you’re not the kind of girl boys like. You’re the kind of girl boys fall in love with. And I’m that boy. Can’t you see I’m in love with you?”

By now the tears were just streaming down your face and you couldn’t stop them even if you tried. Nobody, especially not a boy, had ever said you were stunning or beautiful or anything of the sort. Steve slowly let go of your arms and when he saw you weren’t trying to run away he gently lifted his hand up to your face where he cupped your face and began to wipe the tears away.

The way he was being so gentle with you made you want to cry even harder. And you did. You’d never known this kind of affection and you didn’t even even know you were missing it. You melted into Steve’s touch and let him hold you for a few minutes before you began to speak.

“Steve?” You whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I-I love you too…but I don’t know how to be loved. Or how to love really.”

“Sweetheart. That’s okay. I can show you.”

Steve looked into your eyes and started to lean in. You didn’t know what to do. So you shut your eyes and let him come to you. Only a second later you felt his lips make contact with your own. His lips were soft against yours and they melded right together. You were hesitant but you began to kiss him back. As your lips moved together you pressed further against each other. You sighed into against his lips and your mouth opened slightly.

Steve saw his opportunity and slipped his tongue in your mouth. Much to your surprise. Although it wasn’t unwelcome. You let him explore your mouth and then you explored his. Eventually your head starts to get a bit foggy and you’re running out of breath so you gently push back on him a bit and your mouths disconnect with a string of spit in between you. You’re both smiling like lovesick fools and while you catch your breath Steve finds he can’t get enough of you. He moves his lips to your cheek, then your jaw, and down your neck. He starts at your ear where he gives your lobe a little nibble that makes you whine a little. Barely loud enough for Steve to hear but he does. So he keeps going. He starts to kiss your neck and suck on spots that makes you whine. The first time he bites gently on a spot he knows you like though and he hears you moan for the first time. God the boys in heaven. But he stops. Much to your disappointment.

He pulls away and finds you looking disheveled. Face flushed and breathing heavily .

“Is what we’re doing okay baby? I don’t want to take things too far. I know you’ve never..”

You’re still breathing a little heavily as you answer.

“Yeah Steve. It’s okay. I trust you. Just…be gentle with me please.”

“But are you sure you want this? I know I want this but I don’t want you to be caught up in the moment and regret it honey. I want this to be something you want.”

You grab his face in your hands and pull him so close into you’re own that you’re almost kissing him again.

“I’m sure of this Stevie. There’s no one else I’d want it to be.”

Steve kisses you again. With much more ferver. He works his way back down to leaving you more hickies on your neck. He can tell your neck is sensitive. All the whines and moans you’re making are sending the blood rushing straight to his dick.

Still on the couch with your legs draped over his. He begins to move his hands around your body. Squeezing at the thick flesh and feeling it mold beneath his fingers. The more he squeezes the more sounds you let out. Your hands find their way to his hair where you tangle your fingers in his strands.

After a few more kisses Steve stops.

“Is it okay if we take this upstairs. I don’t want your first to be on a couch.”

The two of you walk up stairs and Steve starts kissing you again before you even reach his bedroom door. He opens it and backs you towards the bed but you stop him.

“Whats wrong sweetheart?”

You look a little red in the face as if you’re embarrassed. He taps your chin to look at him.

“Come on honey. Tell me.”

“I wanted to do something. Involving you.”

“What is it?”

“Do you remember that night when star court blew up? And we came back here… and you had me undress you?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I was wondering if I could do it again?”

Steve practically melts right there.

“Of course you can sweetheart. Have at it.”

You give Steve a quick kiss before telling him to lift up his arms. He obliges. You slowly move your fingers to the hem of his shirt and pull it up and over his head and toss it to the floor. Now that his shirt is off you move your hands gently to Steve’s bare chest and let them roam. You lightly scratch up his torso and watch as his muscles react under your touch. Your hands move slowly to his pajama pants and you can’t help but notice a large bulge underneath the fabric. You take a deep breath and slowly start to pull the fabric down. As you pull the fabric down you kneel to the ground and Steve looks down at you. You look up at him with your big eyes and Steve can’t help the way his dick twitches. You catch the movement and smirk.

Once you work each leg out of the pants and discard the pants across the room you run your hands up Steve’s legs and give his thighs a squeeze. You reach for the waistband of his boxers and curl your fingers inside. Before you pull them down you ask one more time if it’s alright. To which he says yes.

You slide his boxers down. Unveiling his painfully hard cock. You’ve seen enough porn to know that was Steve has is practically a horse cock. Hell if he wanted to he could probably be a guy in a porno. You hadn’t realized you were staring wide eyed at his dick until you hear Steve huff a laugh.

“Honey if you keep staring at it like that I’m only gonna get harder.”

You don’t say anything. You just move your hands and quickly grip his cock. Not too tight but with a nice grip. You don’t really know what you’re doing but you know you don’t want to stop. You begin to slowly move your hand up and down his shaft and when you get to the top you give it a little squeeze. You hear Steve release a broken moan above you and so you decide to focus on his tip a little more.

You decide that instead of using your hands you want to use your mouth. So you lick your lips and lean forward to give his cock a little kitten lick on the end before taking the tip in your mouth.

Steve wasn’t expecting you to do any of this and watching the girl he’s been pining after for years on her knees for him is driving him crazy. He feels himself rushing towards an orgasm at your slightest touch and he just can’t have himself cumming in your mouth in under 30 seconds. So he backs a way a bit and pushes your head away. He leans down and grabs your hands and helps you stand to the floor.

“Since you got to undress me I think it’s only fair I return the favor.”

Steve gives you a brief kiss that takes your breath away as his hands rake up and down your body. Squeezing your breasts, your stomach, your thighs. Anything he can grab he’s squeezing. And you’re letting out all sorts of glorious sounds for him.

Since you are just in your pajamas he doesn’t have to remove much. He starts with your shirt and much to his already known delight. You’re not wearing a bra. He’d imagined your breasts plenty of times but seeing your big breasts bare for him. Now that was driving him wild. Before you can cover yourself up from self consciousness he’s dipping down to kiss and lick all over your breasts.

Your nipples have perked up due to being exposed to the cold air. Steve takes advantage of this and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth while pinching the other between his fingers. You cry out at the new sensation. He continues doing it as he backs you towards the bed and once you hit it he lays you down gently.

He begins to kiss down your body. Stopping to give your plump tummy a few squeezes and kisses. He reaches the top of your pajama pants and looks up at your for confirmation. You nod your head yes and he begins to slide the pants down your legs. Much to his surprise you aren’t wearing any underwear.

You try to close your legs but he quickly stops you and just stares at your dripping pussy. The longer he stares the more self conscious you become. You’re about to say something or move when he finally dips his head down and inhales the scent between your legs. He takes a heavy inhale and sighs on the exhale. His hands move to your thighs where he starts kneading and squeezing them.

He moves his lips to your inner thighs where he starts nipping at the skin and sucking hickies into the flesh. After you’re properly worked up and whining for him, he moves towards your center. Placing a gentle kiss on you clit. Making you jump.

He runs his tongue through your folds. Licking at your hole all the way up to where he starts sucking on your clit. The new sensation is driving you wild. You’re reaching for the sheets, his hair, the headboard. Anything that can ground you but he just keeps on making you feel like you’re floating.

Then you feel something teasing at your entrance. A single finger. He then dips it in slowly just a little bit. And back out. He works his finger in and out of your until he’s knuckle deep. You’re moaning out his name and Steve starts to hump the mattress just to relieve himself a little bit.

He adds a second finger and starts to stretch you out a bit. Your back begins to arch off the bed and your thighs are closing around his head. And with the plush of your thighs surrounding his head Steve thinks to himself. “If I were to die in this moment I would die a very happy man.”

He continues to suck on your clit and pump his fingers in and out of you. Listening to the way your slick coats his hand and the whimpers and moans falling from your mouth.

He can tell you’re getting close by the way you tighten around him and the way you’re chanting out his name as if it were a prayer.

He starts working in and out of you faster. And eventually you feel that tight knot in your stomach snap as you scream his name and scratch at the headboard. He feels you cum all over his face and fingers and he licks up every drop of it.

Slowly your thighs loosen their death grip around his head and he sits up to take a good look at you. All pretty and splayed out beneath him looking absolutely wrecked. He wanted to wreck you even more.

He kissed his way back up your body. Making sure to squeeze you tight everywhere he could. Once he reached your mouth you started to lazily make out as he began to grind himself against you. Making you whine against his mouth.

“Are you ready?”

“Yeah stevie. I’m ready.”

“You tell me if it hurts or if it’s too much okay? You say the word it all stops. I promise.”

“I trust you.”

Steve lines himself up with your hole and slowly pushes the tip in as he intertwines his fingers with yours. You gasp and squeeze his hand. He stills for a moment and lets you adjust.

Once he feels you relax around him he pushes in a little more until he feels you tense up again. He stills and starts to kiss your face until you relax. He repeats this process until he’s all the way in. You’re breathing heavily and your face is flushed.

“Are you okay?” He asks quietly against your ear.

“Mmhmm. Yeah. I’m okay Stevie. Just-fuck- it’s a lot. Feel so full.”

Steve let’s you take as much time as you need until he feels your hips start to rock against this own. He pulls out almost entirely and pushes back in. You gasp and moan and Steve groans. He begins to snap his hips even faster and you start to scratch down his back and pull his body closer into your own.

You’re still worked up from your last orgasm and from the way Steve is driving in and out of you, you feel that coil in your stomach growing even tighter than it did before.

You’ve had orgasms before but none of them felt quite like this. You almost wanted to warn Steve that you didn’t know what was about to happen but you couldn’t form the words to tell him. Instead you just let yourself get lost in the feeling. Your orgasm approaching rapidly.

Steve was panting and moaning in your ear.

“I’m not gonna last baby. You’re so fucking tight- I- I can’t think straight.”

He grabs onto the headboard and starts driving into you even deeper and harder than you thought possible. You’re letting out noises you didn’t even know you could make. And then you feel his cock brush something inside of you you didn’t even know was there. It makes your entire body convulse and you’re screaming out his name.

Steve feels your pussy squeeze around him impossibly tight and he knows you’re cumming. What he doesn’t expect is the squirts of liquid that come with it. It takes him a second to realize he just made you squirt all over him. The second he does realize it however it’s over. His entire body tenses and his thrusts come to a violent halt as he continues to grab the headboard so hard he thinks he might break it as he pumps you full of his warm cum. His head dips into the crook of your neck and he starts to whine cause he just can’t stop cumming. He’s pretty sure he’s never come this much or this hard in his entire life.

When Steve finally comes to you’re holding him. Stroking the back of his head as he lays on top of you. Practically suffocating you. He gently pulls out of you and gives you a quick peck before standing on wobbly legs. He goes to the to the bathroom and comes back with a washcloth in hand that he runs between your legs.

He lays down beside you and you curl into his arms. The both of you fall asleep. The world for both of you feeling a lot less heavy.

The next morning when you wake up in his arms both of you naked. You turn to face him. You stroke his face gently and it rouses him out of his sleep. His eyes flutter open and a soft smile crosses his features.

“Morning beautiful.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Morning Stevie.”

“How are you feeling honey? Was last night okay?”

“Last night was amazing Steve…but I have a question?”

He strokes your face gently

“What is it honey?”

“What does this mean for us? What are we?”

“Well I was hoping this means we’re together. You and me. And I was hoping I could take you out on a nice date. If you want to of course.”

“I’d love to go on a date with you Steve.”

You start to roll out of bed because it’s time for you and Steve to get to work but Steve grabs hold of you and pulls you back into him on the bed. Making you giggle.

“Steve we have to go to work!”

“Come on let’s just call out today. Spend the whole day together.”

“And leave Robin and Keith alone? Robin will kill us.”

“Can I convince you to be a little late then?”

“Oh? And how would you do that?”

Steve starts leaving kisses along your shoulder and down your chest.

“I’ve got a few ideas…”

You and Steve arrive to work about an hour and a half late. You walk into family video hand in hand. Robin looks up from the counter.

“I was so going to give you shit for being late but I’ll let it slide this one time because you two are happy.”

You give Steve a kiss and leave family video and walk over to the arcade. Leaving Robin and Steve alone.

“So you finally told her?”

“Yes Robin I did.”

“Well….what happened? Give me every detail!”

“Trust me Robin you don’t want every detail.”

“Ew! Gross! That’s my friend you’re talking about!”

“You asked!”

Robin and Steve share a laugh and Robin quickly realizes she’s going to probably have to start covering for both you and Steve a lot now. And after you and Steve’s first official date you immediately prove Robin right by showing up 3 hours late for work the next day. Both of you practically covered head to toe in hickies.

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ultraadespair · 5 days ago

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Say it with me okay, hold my hand;

Fatphobia is just bullying.

To call something a ‘phobia’ or ‘sim’ is putting it on the same level of others. The plythes and of black and brown people is not the same as not fitting into ‘straight sized’ clothing. The legislative genocide through the AIDS crisis, the don’t say gay, or ‘coming out’ bills that say a transsexual person who comes out to you, you may shoot in self deffence because their identity frightened you is the same as a doctor telling you you need to lose weight. Getting called tubby is the same as the disabled people who would be imprisoned in their own homes due to ugly laws in the 1950s who crawled their ways up the steps of congress to sign into law their rights. Or the civil enslavement women endured for centuries to be ornamentation on the arm of their husband such as a gold cuff link.

You hold no candle to the actual oppression of people. And it’s no coincidence that most fat activists are female and white, and typically middle-lower middle class. You feel uncomfortable in your whiteness and privilege in leftist spaces and cannot understand what it is truly like to be discriminated against so you equate bullying to it. You have no history, no identity, and no culture.

A queer cannot stop being queer, a black person cannot drain themselves paler, a disabled person cannot wish upon a star to walk again nor to grate them the sanity you enjoy, a women cannot go back to gestation and correct the wrong chromosome. You can lose the weight.

#other kennedy post #kennedy yap

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briefinquiries · 1 year ago

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Luke Alvez x Reader: What You Deserve

Description: Feeling undeserving of luke's attention and affection.

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: low self-esteem, negative self-talk, internalized fat phobia

A/N: I wrote this back when I was super insecure about my weight (i.e. this is how i felt about every guy i dated). but just saying i lowkey hate the insecure plus-sized reader trope and want to write better plus-size reader fics in the future, but this is all i have to repost for now!

You were ten when you sprained your ankle on the playground at school and wound up at the doctor’s office with your mom. The doctor was nice and distracted you from the pain in your ankle with some funny jokes. He even let you listen to your own heartbeat with his stethoscope.

But at the end of the visit, once you had a splint on your ankle, he turned to your mom and mentioned the term overweight.

“She’s on the high end of her age’s weight class,” he said matter-of-factly. And maybe it was just a simple matter of fact. You’d never thought much about your weight before that day. You were happy. You loved to play- especially outside. Your favorite game was capture the flag, but it didn’t matter. You were active and healthy.

Your mom listened to his advice intently, because he was the professional after all. Who was she to question his word on your health? And when you get home you were immediately placed on what she calls a diet.

“That means no more ice cream after dinner, and we’re going to cut back on the popcorn, too.”

And maybe the doctor was right, you started to think, as you took a long look at yourself in the full length mirror behind the bathroom door that very same night. You pinched the skin protruding from your stomach and watched as the fat around your thighs jiggled. Maybe you were too big, too fat. You thought of your friends at school and for the first time, (but certainly not the last), you found yourself wondering, why don’t I look like them?

“The diet will help,” your mom told you reassuringly.

Except it doesn’t. Instead, you wound up gaining more weight, this time at a rapid pace, because you’ve found that when Mom says you can’t have ice cream after dinner, you wind up sneaking into the kitchen after she’s gone to bed and eating it anyway. But you don’t stop there. You eat some of the watermelon that’s left in the fridge, too, and some crackers from the cupboard. Just enough from each box so that she doesn’t notice, but enough altogether, that you go to bed with a full, aching stomach.

This becomes a pretty standard part of your nightly routine until your mom caught you digging through the pantry one night, while she had come downstairs quietly for a glass of water.

The look on her face was shock, followed quickly by disgust. You felt embarrassed and ashamed and humiliated.

“I can’t believe you’ve been doing this,” then, “it’s no wonder you’re gaining all that weight.”

…

You’ve always had a difficult time loving yourself, you’ve always looked in the mirror and not necessarily liked what looked back at you. Sure, there were days where you thought to yourself, I look pretty today. But in the back of your mind there was always that voice that would add, for a fat person.

When you’re in your twenties, you finally break the habitual pattern of binge eating that you’d been doing since you were a kid. As you ticked off the number of days it had been since a binge, you sighed. You really would have thought that by stopping consistently overindulging, you’d lose the weight. But that wasn’t the case. Instead, your body has plateaued. No more dramatic gains or losses- it just is. The weight, for the most part, stayed on.

By your thirties, you’d come to an understanding, a blind acceptance, with your body. You didn’t always like it, but you appreciated it. Neutrality, your therapist had encouraged. And that was good enough.

Regardless, you had other things going for you besides your looks and your weight. You had a great job and infinite career goals to focus on. Not everything had to be about being beautiful and desirable, you learned.

…

Your favorite thing about being part of the BAU were your coworkers. You never expected how close you’d get to them, but before you knew it, they felt more like your family than anything else. Something about constantly facing life-threatening situations with one another created an everlasting bond encased in mutual trust.

You and the rest of the team had a rare evening off, which normally, you’d spend waiting skeptically by your phone, convinced that you’d get called in for a case any minute. But not tonight, Emily had promised. All cases were on hold until the morning. You were sitting at home, contemplating what to do with your precious time when the text came through.

It was Tara messaging the group chat, asking if anyone was up for drinks and a night out. It didn’t take long before Luke’s name came flashing across your screen next. It was impossible to ignore the butterflies fluttering rampantly in your stomach as you read the words that he’s typed.

I’m in, he said simply.

Luke was the newest member to have joined the team. Just months prior, he transferred to the BAU from the Fugitive Task Force. As soon as Emily brought him into the conference room, you knew all bets were off. He was tall and handsome, with a clean cut, thick beard and dark skin. While he was given personalized introductions, you had noticed his bicep flexing as he extended his arm out to shake everyone’s hands. When he was introduced to you, his large hand engulfing yours and his dark eyes scanned the length of you, and you knew instantly that Luke Alvez was a catch.

It was pointless and childish and arbitrary, and you knew it. But you couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard you tried- no matter how many times you told yourself he’d never be into a girl like you. A fat girl like you, the voice in your head said. You tried to challenge that voice- fought back and argued with it occasionally just like your therapist had encouraged, but it still found ways of insisting that you weren’t worthy of attention or affection from someone like Luke.

So, before your insecurities could convince you to decline Tara’s invite that night, you typed back a quick, I’m in, too.

…

It turned out most of the team decided to join your night out. And it was fun, or it would have been, if not for the critic in your head being abnormally loud.

Look how skinny JJ looks in that top- you could never pull that off.

Don’t eat the nachos, they’ll think you’re fat.

Eat the nachos, because if you don’t, they’ll know that you know you’re fat.

As always, it was exhausting and all consuming- a never ending battle in your own mind. And while you knew your team didn’t give a shit if you ate the damn nachos or not, you couldn’t stop obsessing over it.

You tried your best to enjoy yourself- to push those thoughts to the back of your mind, but it took effort.

Tara had picked the spot, it was a small pub that serves drinks and food. There was music, but not so loud that you couldn’t hear each other talk. You sipped your vodka lemonade, the straw pinched between your thumb and pointer finger, and watched as Emily and JJ were taking on Rossi and Matt in a game of pool.

Across from you sat Tara and Spencer. They were having an in depth conversation about Jean Piaget, when suddenly, Luke slid into the empty booth seat beside you. Your senses were instantly overwhelmed momentarily by his cologne, strong but not overpowering. His arm brushed yours, the warmth from his skin sending an electrical current through your entire body. You tensed up, if not just from the shock of it all. But as soon as you let your guard down, the voice in your head crept back in. He can feel how fat your arm is- pull away. So you did.

If he noticed, he didn’t comment. Instead he smiled, his white teeth on full display. “Having fun?” he asked.

You took another sip of your lemonade and nodded. “Yeah, it’s nice to have a night away from..” your voice trailed off as you thought of the word.

“Crime? Murder?” Luke smirked. “Serial killers?”

You chuckled, “How about all of the above?”

Luke nodded. “They say crime never sleeps, but we finally will tonight.” He set his drink down and scratched his beard in contemplation. “I’m thinking at least eight hours tonight.”

“Eight hours?” you gawked, “You’re living large!”

Luke laughed. There was a brief pause in the chatter, and you took another sip of your drink awkwardly. You were about to make a joke about the competitive pool game going on in front of you between Rossi and JJ, when Luke leaned over and said quietly, “You look really nice tonight.”

You faltered, you didn't know how to answer, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to look up at Luke’s gaze, because you weren’t sure you could handle it. And while you knew that you should say thank you, you only curled into yourself as if what Luke said was just a snide, nasty remark. Compliments like that were so foreign to you and you felt like you didn’t deserve them, so you had a hard time believing that what Luke had to say was actually genuine. You knew he wasn’t the type of person to ever poke fun at another, but wasn’t that what made the most sense? He certainly wasn’t hitting on you- so maybe it was a pity remark, or just a way to fill the awkward silence.

You ended up just offering him a curt smile, pretending that you didn’t see the way his face fell.

…

You were happy most of the time. Not as carefree as some on the team, but still. You joked with Tara and Emily and had meaningful conversations with Spencer. You asked Dave about his weekends and listened with intent as Matt told you stories about his infinite amount of kids.

But then there were days where you’re nowhere near that feeling.

There were bad days. And when they came, they were always so sudden and unexpected, it almost took your breath away.

You were away on a case with the team in Colorado Springs when you had your first really bad day in a long time.

The case, for the most part, kept you busy, and for a while you were able to ward off the negative thoughts. Instead of fixating on how worthless you felt, you thought about the four victims that had gone missing in the area, you thought of the Unsub and ways your team could find them. You thought about ME reports and patterns in each abduction, it was enough of a puzzle that you were able to stay occupied.

But when you were back at the hotel, the rest of your team in their own rooms, and left to your own thoughts, that’s when the quiet consumed you.

As a child, you learned that the one thing-the only thing- that helped when you were feeling this overwhelming sense of anxiety and dread, was to binge. It helped you stuff the negative thoughts so deep down within yourself, that for at least a little while, you were numb to all the pain.

You knew you shouldn’t- you hadn’t in so long. But just this one time would be okay, right? Only this once, just to feel a little better, and then you wouldn’t do it again.

The battle inside your own head raged on. You took deep breaths, you tried to journal what you were feeling, but the feeling didn't subside. Only when there was a knock at your door, and you were forced to pull yourself back to reality, did the argument get placed on the backburner. You blinked back tears that you didn’t even realize were there before hastily making your way to the hotel door.

“J-just a minute,” you tried to make your voice sound normal, like the debate going on inside your mind about what you were about to do would be obvious to whoever was at the door. You quickly wiped your cheeks and brushed your wrinkled shirt off before hoisting it open.

“Hi,” you managed to smile as you opened the door.

Luke was on the other side, to your surprise, holding two brown paper bags and a couple of bottled drinks.

“Hey,” Luke answered, his eyes lingering on your face for a brief moment. You wondered if he could tell you’d been crying.

“What’s up?” you drawled, as if to politely ask, why the hell are you knocking at my door at eleven pm?

“Everyone else was asleep and I was hungry-” he held up the bag of what was apparently food and shrugged. “Except, I bought way too much, I’ll never eat it all. Are you hungry?”

You gave him a confused look. “I-”

“It’s just burgers, some chicken and some fries, nothing fancy- but I didn’t want to eat alone and I saw your light on..”

You sighed, but then stepped to the side, a gesture for him to come in. Luke gave you a relieved look before entering your room. He headed to the bed, which was the only place to sit.

“Do you mind?” he asked, motioning towards the mattress.

You shook your head, “No, go for it.”

You closed the door behind him and joined Luke, barely noticing that the dread in your stomach from earlier had been replaced by a light, fluttering sensation.

As Luke began unloading the greasy food from the bag, you hesitated. Was this a trick? Was he secretly trying to see how much food you could put away? Was he going to go back and tell the team how much you’d eaten?

Luke picked up on your apprehension.

“Is everything okay?”

You don’t answer quickly enough before he asked, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Goddamn these intuitive profilers.

“Nothing,” you said. But somehow, Luke heard the lie.

“I know I’m the new guy,” he said, “and it’s probably gonna take some time before you trust me, I know that. But I want you to know you can talk to me.”

“Yeah.. it-it’s nothing,” you managed to say, because you couldn’t talk. Not about this and not yet. Maybe not ever.

“Okay,” Luke nodded. “Sometimes, it’s tough being the new guy. I can see how close you guys all are and I just want to be a part of that eventually, you know?” His eyes bore into your own and you caught a glimpse of the sincerity behind his words, and that was when you started to feel guilty for ever thinking he was here to make fun of you. Luke was here for a friend, for comfort of his own.

You sat on the bed next to Luke and took a fry from the basket. “You are part of it.” You assured him. “Everyone here adores you.”

Me included, is what you didn’t say.

“You wouldn’t be included in our group chat if we didn’t.”

That made Luke smile, his dimple evident in his cheek.

He stayed in your room for a while, the two of you laughing and talking throughout the night. You never realized how much you didn’t know about Luke. Like that he had a dog, for example, or that he grew up in Arizona and moved around a lot once he joined the military. He kept you laughing, his jokes and sarcasm thrown intermittently through his speech.

You shared the chicken and fries with him, not even feeling self conscious when you reached for more to put on your plate. You were too wrapped up in whatever story Luke was telling and the way his eyes lit up as he talked about the things that interested him, to be insecure.

Luke took the last drink of his bottled water before sighing. “I suppose I should head back to my room, and try to get a little sleep.” He lifted his arm and looked at the watch on his wrist. “I’m definitely not getting my eight hours tonight,” he laughed.

You nodded in agreement, the two of you standing up in sync, and you walked Luke to the door.

Luke stepped into the hallway before turning to face you. “Thanks for the company,” he said.

You smiled, “Thanks for the food.”

There was a brief, awkward silence, where neither one of you knew what to do next. But then, it happened quickly. One minute, you were studying the way Luke’s warm, brown eyes were trained on you, and then, before you could predict what would happen next, he stepped forward, one hand planting itself firmly on your hip and the other cupping your chin. He paused briefly, like he was giving you the chance to pull away. But you didn’t- and so the next thing you knew, Luke was pulling you closer to his body and his lips were pressing against your own, their warmth spreading the entirety of your body.

Fat, fat, fat- your mind suddenly screamed. You suddenly became hyper-aware of his fingers digging into the soft, fleshy part of your hip, and wondered if he’d be repulsed by what he felt. But if he was, he didn’t make it obvious.

There had to be a catch, you thought- some alternative motive for him to be kissing you like this. Guys like Luke didn’t go after girls like you. Fat girls like you, the voice said.

He just wants sex.

He’s not thinking straight.

He’ll regret this tomorrow.

You pulled away, breathlessly, your heart suddenly racing. Before Luke could suspect that something was wrong, you offered him your best smile. “I should get to bed,” you explained.

Luke could sense the shift in your tone, you imagined that he wanted to ask what’s wrong, but you were already stepping away from him. Instead he nodded, trying to hide his confusion. “Okay, yeah. G-goodnight.”

“Night,” you whispered before shutting the door.

…

Luke hoped he hadn’t fucked up.

That was his first thought as soon as he saw the door close in his face. He bit his lips, they still tasted like you, and slowly backed away.

His feet drummed against the cheap carpet floor of the hotel as he paced the few doors down to his own room.

He really thought you’d liked him- thought you’d reciprocated the kiss even. But judging by the look on your face when you closed the door, he thought that he might be terribly mistaken.

He didn’t get his eight hours of sleep.

In fact, he barely got any. Instead, he spent the night trying to figure out where the hell he could have gotten things so wrong.

When Luke’s phone started buzzing loudly, he felt exhausted and not even close to ready for the inevitably long day ahead.

Regardless, Luke got ready quickly. The one conclusion that he had come to after contemplating all night was that he wanted to find you and clear the air. Despite his obvious feelings for you that were now right out in the open, he couldn’t risk your friendship, or making things awkward at work. Once he was showered and dressed, Luke departed the hotel in search of some coffee.

He remembered that you liked it hot, with just cream and a hint of cinnamon. This would be his peace offering, an apology for crossing the line, the promise that it wouldn’t happen again.

…

You were answering a text from Emily on your phone, directing you to go to the ME office, when you heard a voice calling your name.

Your head snapped up, and there, sure enough, like he was waiting for you in the lobby, Luke came jogging over. In his outstretched arm was a cup of coffee.

“Hey.”

For a moment, you wondered if maybe Luke really was into you. A kiss one night and coffee the next morning? Surely that meant he wasn’t just looking for a hookup, right?

You accepted his offering with a smile. “What’s this?” you asked dumbfoundedly. Could you really be this lucky? Could he actually be interested in you? The butterflies in your stomach started flying rampantly as you quickly got your hopes up.

“I wanted to apologize-” he said, his head falling, like he was ashamed. “For last night.”

Your heart sank.

“I crossed the line, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Your friendship means a lot to me-”

And there it was. You were no stranger to the friendship line. Guys used it all the time as a way out. After going on dates, after hookups- it was always the same response from them when they weren’t interested- I like you but I don’t want to risk our friendship. I really just want to be friends. I’m not ready for a relationship, can we just be friends?

To you that translated as, you’re not good enough for me.

You were a fool for ever getting your hopes up- for ever thinking that someone like Luke could actually be interested in someone like you.

You took the coffee and tried not to meet his eager gaze.

“Don’t worry about it,” is all you could manage to croak out.

Luke could sense the shift in your tone. “I really am sorry,” he said.

But you shook your head, and feigned your best smile. You backed away from him, not wanting him to see the glistening tears evident in your eyes.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, your mind was screaming at you. “It’s fine,” you said instead, your voice cracking slightly just as you turned to leave the hotel lobby.

…

Luke knew he had fucked up.

The peace offering that he had made was nothing short of a disaster, and now he’d have to come up with another way to make up for what he’d done.

That much was obvious as he was left standing alone in the hotel lobby, gazing at the doors you’d just walked out of.

...

Three days later, on the jet ride home, Luke could barely get you to even look at him. Not that he had made much of an effort, but still. He wanted to give you space. Hadn’t he done enough damage already?

He knew he’d have to think of a way to talk to you about what had happened. Maybe if he just explained himself, you’d understand.

But how was he supposed to talk to you when you wouldn’t even look at him?

He finally got his chance when the jet landed and the team was back at the BAU. He found you at your desk, hunched over a stack of paperwork. Rossi, JJ, Tara, and Spencer had already left for the night. Matt was gathering his belongings from his desk and heading out the door, meanwhile Emily was barricaded in her office with the door shut. If Luke was ever going to get a minute alone with you- it was now.

He shuffled cautiously over towards your desk. You gave him no indication that you’d heard him at all, but nonetheless, he cleared his throat before getting too close. He didn’t want to startle you.

You didn’t even look up from what you’re writing.

“Hey,” he said. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“I can’t right now,” your tone is flat.“I have this whole stack I need to do before tomorrow.”

Luke felt frustrated and dismissed, but he bit his tongue. Instead of pushing, he grabbed half the stack of paperwork from atop your desk and took it back to his own desk. Before you could protest or argue, he sat down and flipped open the first file, ready to work.

…

The entire floor was eerily quiet. Besides the occasional clicking of keys and scratching of a pen, you and Luke worked in complete silence.

You felt bad. You really didn’t have to finish all of this paperwork by tomorrow. That was just your excuse to avoid talking with Luke. But now, it was almost 1 AM and you were nearly finished with it all.

You heard his pen click and you knew that was his indicator that he was done with his stack. Your heart clenched in your chest anxiously. You heard him approach your desk. There was a sudden thump when he threw the stack back where he found it.

“There,” he announces. “Can we talk now?”

The man was persistent.

You set your pen down lightly and sighed. Admitting defeat, you nodded.

Luke pulled Spencer’s chair out from his desk, which was right next to yours. He scooted it closer to you.

Your gaze remained hyper focused on your hands, which were cupped and laid neatly in your lap. Luke ducked his head down, trying to catch your eyes. Begrudgingly, you looked up and made eye contact with him.

“Listen,” his voice was soft, “I am really sorry for kissing you the other night.”

You groaned frustratedly. “Will you stop apologizing?” you finally said. “I get it, you didn’t want to kiss me. It’s fine- But I don’t need this- this pity.”

Luke instantly looked taken aback by your frustration, but it was the most you’ve said to him in the last three days, so he took it all in. As your words played back in his mind, he frowned. “I never said I didn’t want to kiss you.”

“Well- whatever you did or didn’t say, I get it, okay? I get that it was a mistake and it didn’t mean anything. It’s fine.”

But Luke continued shaking his head. “I never said any of that-” he protested.

You remained quiet, but he continued. “I never said any of that. Is that how you feel about it?” he asked, hands clasped tightly together.

You shrugged. Your cheeks felt hot- you were insecure with Luke’s eyes trained so intently on you. You wished you could just forget this whole thing happened, wished you could just disappear. But Luke kept pushing.

“Is that how you feel?” he repeated. There was a brief pause. “Because that’s not how I feel,” he said. “I don’t regret kissing you. I like you and I wanted to do it. And I thought you wanted to, too. If I had known you didn’t- I never would have done it. I regret making you uncomfortable, and I regret making things awkward between us, but I don’t regret the kiss.”

Luke’s words swam around in your head, but they were a jumbled mess. You tried to piece them together slowly, in order to process what he was saying. Did he just say he liked you?

There was a part of you that felt like this whole thing had just been a cruel joke. But yet, here he was- sitting in front of you with the most sincere eyes you’d ever seen, and suddenly, you started to wonder if maybe this was real. Maybe, for God-only-knows what reason, Luke actually had feelings for you- was actually attracted to you.

“You like me?” you asked, your voice low.

Luke laughed- like actually laughed- and when you looked up at him, his eyes were squinting as his lips were curled into a wide grin. “Uh, yeah- I thought I’d made that blatantly clear.”

But you shook your head. “I- I didn’t know..”

“I kissed you-” he said, like it’s obvious.

“I know, but I figured you just wanted to hookup- I didn’t think you actually liked me-”

“But I brought you dinner- and coffee. Did you think I just do that for everyone?”

You remained guarded, because you still couldn’t entirely trust this. “Yeah,” you said. “Kind of, I guess.”

“Okay,” Luke nodded. “Let me spell it out for you then. I like you.” He said each word carefully and slowly. “And I liked kissing you. And I’d really like to date you. And if you don’t feel the same, that’s okay. But I’d still like to be friends, and I’d really like for things not to be awkward at work.”

You stared in awe, not able to believe any of this was really happening. You wanted to ask why. Why did this handsome, kind, honest man like you? What made you even remotely good enough for him?

But you didn’t ask. Because did it matter right now?

“Your turn,” Luke urged. “Since I seem to have such a hard time reading you, can you spell it out for me too?”

You hesitated. You’d never flat out told someone how you felt about them. You were insecure and terrified of rejection. And even though Luke had flat out told you rejection wasn’t a possibility, you were still embarrassed to tell him how you felt. You didn’t like how vulnerable that made you- how open to the hurt that made you.

But Luke’s smile was so reassuring and kind, you tried not to think too much before telling him quietly, “I like you too. I have for a while, actually.”

He chuckled, which you think might just be your new favorite sound. “So why’d you pull away the other night?” he asked longingly. “Why have you been so distant?”

“Because- I didn’t think someone like you would ever be into someone like me.”

The moment the words left your lips, you regretted it. And when Luke’s face contorted into a look of confusion, and then hurt, you regretted it even more.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

You fumble with your words, because you weren’t sure how to explain. “I just thought someone like you would be more apt to go after someone that looked more like Tara or JJ or Emily is all.”

“What’s the common denominator there? Because Tara, JJ, and Emily look nothing alike-”

“You know what I mean,” you protested. “I thought someone like you would be more apt to go for someone-” you paused before saying the word, “someone skinnier than- well... me.”

Luke’s face fell, but you laughed it off nervously. “Just makes me wonder why, is all,” you said.

“I like you-” he assured you. “I like you because you’re smart and you’re thoughtful.”

Luke’s managed to scoot his chair increasingly closer to you without you noticing. When you looked down, you realized that your knees were practically touching. The first thing that ran through your mind is, oh my God, your thighs are bigger than his. But you shook the thought away. You weren’t going to let that voice ruin this- not again.

“You’re intuitive- the best profiler.”

The way Luke was looking at you made everything else melt away. All you saw was him and those unimaginably warm eyes.

“You’re kind and generous and you make me laugh,” he paused. “You’re beautiful.”

You remembered how soft his lips felt against yours when you kissed days ago, and all you wanted was to taste him again.

Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long for your wish to come true. Luke leaned in, closing the gap between you two. Just when he was only inches from your face, he grinned. “I could keep going, you know?”

You ignored him and his cheeky grin and instead you leaned forward, and without thinking, cupped his face between your hands and pulled him closer.

His lips were exactly as you remembered, soft and smooth and all-encompassing. Luke’s hand landed just above your knee and when you started to wonder whether or not your leg felt fat underneath his touch, you were able to silence it. Who the hell cares? Certainly not Luke, that much you were learning quickly. In fact, you wondered if maybe he even liked it. The thought passed quickly, and you were able to focus on the man in front of you instead- the one who was quickly claiming you as his own. The one you deserved.

#luke alvez imagine #luke alvez #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez x reader fic #luke alvez fic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #luke alvez x reader fanfic #luke alvez x reader imagine

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liaredrose · 6 months ago

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Hello everyone.

I think some of you have noticed I haven’t updated my stories in a while. They are not abandoned, I will finish them. I’ve been a silent reader of Dramione for something like 15 years. Before writing in English I wrote and shared fic in my mother tongue. I have always loved Harry Potter and I have always adored Dramione. It’s just that - and I have to confess I it with a heavy heart - it has become difficult to find joy in writing - and sharing - Dramione. To me writing has always been a way to escape reality and enter the fantasy world that reins in my mind. Well, that world has zero limits. Now whenever I write a Dramione I have to fathom how some people might twist what I write and be personally offended.

It has becoming annoying. I know that some might say: it’s on the internet; brace yourself for criticism. Yeah, you are right but that does not allow people I don’t even know to insult me. I have been told to cure my fat-phobia - I didn’t even know that was a thing - because I wrote Hermione didn’t like Dudley. The fact I wrote she also didn’t like him because he was a moron was apparently irrelevant. Some people were concerned by the fact Hermione believed herself to be a slut for her behaviour so they launched themselves into a campaign to accuse me. Again, the fact she had had a previous sexual relationship that had affected her way of thinking was not relevant. I have been accused of being a racist because in one of my stories Draco decided to go by MUDBLOOD as a muggle rockstar. There is a reason that I haven’t yet explained in the story so I won’t write it here. Besides, comparing muggle au to racism it’s such a ludicrous thought that I am honestly speechless. In a comment someone wrote and I’m quoting here “Careful not to make this into a smut without plot”. I also had to defend a story and waste time I could have been using to write to stop a stupid quarrel.

We don’t know each other, but I’m only patient with my son and with my students. This is a hobby, so I have zero patience here. My heart is broken because I love this fandom. I met wonderful people thanks to Dramione and I will be forever grateful. But enough is enough. I want to reassure my readers that I will finish Crimson Seeds and MUDBLOOD because I love those stories and I want them to have a closure. Then I’m done. I’m writing the next chapters, but - for all the reasons listed before and more - I’m doing it slower than before. I truly hope this fandom will get back to its former glory because it was a fantastic place to be.

I love you all.

Yours,

Lia

P.S. This was just meant to inform my readers so please don’t turn my words in something they are not. Thank you

#dramione #draco malfoy #hermione granger #fanfic #draco x hermione #harry potter #ao3 writer

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jordynbreeloa777 · 1 year ago

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h e l l o!💞 Welcome to My LOA TumBlog!🌷🫧💝💘🌸🎀💓

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ This is a law of assumption tumblog! Where I mainly preach on Neville Goddard, and some of Edward Art teachings! Here is a safe, open, place where all positivity is! :D I also talk about: void, subliminals, robotic affirming, askfirmations, placebo affirmations, lullaby method, some other techniques/methods and SATS. (I don’t really talk about shifting, or reality shifting as much but sometimes I do, if so rarely! | This is because I’m not a shifter<3 | I don’t really talk about states as much because im an a+p girlie! | But mainly to grasp, we talk Everything the Law❤️‍🩹

Some back story: I’m a teenager (yes I’m still in school :), I’m African American + Nigerian 🇳🇬 I love ice spice, Beyoncé, Nikki Minaji, Megan thee stallion, rod wave, Ariana grande music and rap in general (there’s so much more but those are just a few🫧 | Believe it or not, { I’m Christian✝️ } I love the law, being spiritual, and I’m obbsessed with getting what I want and I love helping people with there journey as well as mine. I have been in the subliminal community since 2021 and LOA community since 2023! Also, my asks/dm/inbox/messages are open, vaunting, trauma dumping is allowed! I will try my best to respond, & help the best I can~~

Only thing not tolerated is racism, negativity, hate, homophobia , transphobia, fat phobia, sexism, hate against any religion, things of that nature.💌

here is the place to be where we all get what we want so what are you waiting for..‼️💘

daily post because you NEVER STOP MANIFESTING!~🫧

love you all, also I’m a little new so bare with me🌸

my favorite quote that really changed my view on manifesting is {there is no one to change but self } { all changes come from within } {there is no failure in the law, there is only failure to persist } and { SLAM THE DOOR, if you are already in Barbados, why are you worried about how or when your going to get there? } 🫶🏽

💖 i mainly follow back LOA blogs, but sometimes other blogs that may spark my intrest or attention 💖

_💋 master list coming soon?_ ~💋

CURRENT ACTIVITY/ STATUS: inbox /dms are only open for for moots only, because it’s backed up but my ask is always open ( https://www.tumblr.com/jordynbreeloa777/743685515890573312/my-dms-may-be-turned-off-only-available-for-my?source=share ) Link is there🫦 |

| Where I’m at in my “journey?” https://www.tumblr.com/jordynbreeloa777/739449764118233088/a-little-update-on-my-journey?source=share ! (copy and paste) 💝

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

#law of assumption #loassumption #manifesation #manifesting #neville goddard #the void state #loa tumblr #new tumblog #new story #i want it i got it #robotic affirming #askfirmations #you decide #you choose #the world is your oyster #keep the faith #keep going #i am state #state akin to sleep

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puppyfriedrice · 2 days ago

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I enjoy your post and I just wana say I don’t fully understand the feedism kink but like I grew up malnourished from a abusive household and my partner did to and they are struggling to fit there clothes and I have been trying to encourage them to still eat more because I love them regardless how they look and I just want them to actually not be skin and bones and was curious if you had any pointers for like healthy encouraging advice to help with weight gain phobia they have?

Tell them how much you love their body! If your relationship is at the level for it try just casually touching them? Like don't shy away from the areas that are filling out. Give them attention. Kiss them and grab them and trace your fingers over them. You don't need to be a feeder or a fat admirer to appreciate your partners body.

Let them feel desired. Encourage them to finish their plate if it's something they really enjoy eating. Tell them you love the way they look. If they stop fitting into clothes go buy new ones that make them feel good. Shower them in affection. Cook meals for them. Tell them how much you love growing old together. Tell them how healthy and recovered they look before you dive between their legs.

Worship them.

#file under:#cj answers #advice column

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marlasbreastlump · 11 months ago

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more fem fight club thoughts. word of warning i am insane and crazy

- Unlike narrator who would hate it a lot if he got castrated i think a hysterectomy would appeal to fem narrator (doesnt think it would change a lot (Not True) and severe pregnancy phobia) However she wouldn’t actually go through with the surgery because A. she doesnt do anything unless pushed to by an outside force (inertia) and B.

- Penetration Anxiety!!!!! applies to surgery, bullet, PIV sex, literally anything. aversion so strong it extends to Tyler subconsciously. Imo her aversion to penetration is stronger than her wanting to be straight. she would maybe be okay with a bit of cheek hole action though.

- Tyler and marlon dont fuck. because of reasons stated above and to be completely honest because i think it would be gross. but not the fun gross.

- When marlon is ODing on xanax Tyler just burns him with cigarettes and hits him all night until he stops. this makes marlon imprint on her like a baby duck.

- Marlon has hiv :( so probably good he and tyler dont do it

- when fem narrator kills herself she slits her wrists instead of shooting herself because. penetration anxiety!!

- i dont think marlon has a good enough relationship w his parents to be sent bags of liposuctioned fat so unfortunately they just have to go to a medical waste center the first time :((

- marlons the type to say “im gonna kill myself when i turn 30” but he actually tried to follow through with a quarter bottle of xanax and a razor. somehow he survives hooray !!

- Tyler has a veritable fight club harem (ego reasons). narrator is very confused when random space monkeys come up to her to hang off her arms.

- fem narrator’s ikea is kitchenware. she has 8 dutch ovens and still eats spoonfuls of horseradish for dinner.

- she had one of those lowkey eating disorders before tyler fully gestated. she was forced to stop not because tyler cared about her mental well-being but because tyler wanted to get Jacked. Now she eats plain chicken breast and spinach every single day.

- the worst possible ending for narrator would be the premise of fight club 2 (married to marlon and has a kid)

- most controversial marlon to me is bald!! not like mr clean but like Eminem… i need to show off his slightly receding hairline and widows peak… also if he has hair he looks too good he need to look like a golf ball balanced on a bundle of sticks (faggot)

#please tell me your thoughts #cw sui mention #cw ed mention #fight club #tyler durden #narrator fight club #f fight club #soapshipping #marla singer #fem fight club

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sugarsfics · 2 years ago

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Eddie's Girl

Summary: You are the girlfriend to the Eddie Munson lead man of Corroded Coffin. One of Eddie’s band members says some hurtful things about you. In the moment you learn something new about Eddie

Trope: Rockstar!Eddie x plus!size!reader

Warning: Use of Y/N, hurt to comfort, fat-phobia, mean words toward reader, cussing, mention of sexual activity, +18 please

Word Count: 1.1k

You always got stares when walking by you didn’t mind them really you got used to them, but it got worse over the year. Especially now you get death glares you had what everybody wanted Eddie Munson, the lead singer of the hottest rock band Corroded Coffin. He has mentioned many times in interviews on his type of women, he loves the thick ones, the ones that their stomach jiggles when they move, a big juicy thigh. He claims that they are the best type because there is more to love and their cooking is the best. Nobody believed him at first so when the bikini body groupies tried to go for him, he just looked at them then walked away. So, when he saw you, he just had to have you, you were perfect not all by body but by personality, taste in music and cooking, that boy loves to eat. You finally had the courage to go in line backstage to try and get an autograph, at least you also wanted to know if the rumors were true that he only went for the big girls. Once again you got the stares and whispers while in line but stuck it out you wanted that autograph. What you didn’t know was that Eddie had been having his eye on you all night. He watched you as you sang and danced, the way your body moves, he was so glad he was playing guitar to hide his tent in his pants. After the show he saw you get in line Oooo was he excited. “Wow does she really think she have a chance compared to these sexy ladies" John the backup drummer for Gareth spoke, Eddie rolled his eyes, God I hate this guy Eddie thought. “Oh, don’t worry John that one is mine” “Eddie come on man you have so many girls on their knees begging and you are choosing the fat one” “Hey she is not fat she is well love is a fuckin goddess and yea I chose her”

Let’s just say you got a lot more than an autograph that night from Eddie. You found yourself the next morning in Eddie’s hotel cuddled into your chest. He made a little whimper sound he you tried to get him off “what why are you leaving” he said sleepy “sorry I didn’t mean to wake you I just have to go-” “Wait-” he grabbed you hand before you could leave “Are you going to be there for tonight concert?” “No, I only had tickets for last night” “Come” “What” “Come tonight” “It sold out I can’t.” He ran out the bed and went into his bag “Here” he handed you a lanyard. “This will get you anywhere, tonight when I get to the studio I will have my manger put your name down on the VIP lists all of them” “Eddie I-” “Please come” he gave you the biggest puppy eyes that you have ever seen and cave “Fine I will come” “Great!! Can I get your number?”

The rest was history now you a backstage going to your boyfriend’s dressing room. You heard fighting from John’s dressing room but didn’t think too much of it. Sadly, Gareth broke his hand, so John took over the remainder of the tour. This was your first-time seeing Eddie in 2 months. You weren't able to come with him for those two months due to work, but this was his last concert of the tour and tomorrow you were meeting his family and friends in Hawkins. You walked into his dressing room “Baby” “Your here finally” he picked you up and spun you around, his is surprisingly very strong, “You ready rockstar” “Always ready when my girl is with me” “Oh stop it....is John ok I heard yelling when I was walking by” “He is fine you know John always causing drama somehow” “That true” as you giggled and watched Eddie finish getting ready.

The concert was amazing, they ended their tour with a bang. You waited for Eddie in the green room along with others to congratulate them. John walks in first and shoulder checks you. “Move it fat ass” “Wow hey” Jeff intervenes “No need to be rude” “Well she shouldn’t be here” he says pointing at you “ What going on” Eddie says as he walks in “Nothing Eddie” you tell him then John had to speak “Your girlfriend should not be here she ruins the look” “Look what look” Eddie said “ THE LOOK EDDIE how to you think people think when they see her walking around we look like fuckin losers” “Dude you better watch how you are talking especially to my girl” Eddie turns to you “ Don’t you dare listen to a word he says he is just pissed that his girlfriend got him cheating again” “ Oh you're the one to talk Eddie” you heart stop for a moment “After the concerts you always going straight to your room and I can hear you moaning and groaning so what groupie do you got in there huh” your world stop was Eddie cheating? before the tears could spill out “Well if you want to know so bad what I do in my room fine I am jerking off to the hot pictures of my girl, yes get fucking horny after a show we all do but unlike you I love my girl and I’m not going to messed that up for a random fuck” did just say that he loved you.

The room went silent, nobody knew what to say. “Come on babe lets go” the walk to Eddie’s room was silent too. So many things were going through your mind he said he loved you, you haven't said that yet, he jerks off to your picture, that’s hot but what pictures, is he lying. When you sat on the bed you asked him one of the burning questions “Is it true” “Is what true” “About the pictures” “Oh duh yea here look” he went into his bag and pulled out a smaller bag “See you can tell which ones I like the most” the one of your thighs had been ruined so you took a lucky guess “And this one” he pulls out another picture of you smiling “Goes on your pillow that I took from you, with your shirt on it” you felt so loved at that moment, a little confused on how Eddie took your whole ass pillow without you noticing but still so loved. Love you thought he said he loved you “Hey Eddie” “Yes baby” here goes nothing “I love you” he smiled and kissed your lips “I love you too”

#rockstar!eddie #rockstar!eddie x reader #eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie x plus size reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #eddie fluff #eddie hurt to comfort #stranger things #rockstar girlfriend #sugarsfics

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anonymoushotsexyperson · 7 months ago

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GROWING UP A FAT GIRL IN THE Y2K ERA

I know peoples attention spans suck so don't worry im adding sections. So you can scroll through and just read whatever intrigues you if you can't commit to the whole thing!!

this post will talk about my experiences growing up as a fat girl and just a little bit about how it effected my relationship to my body as I grew up as well as the struggles of fatness intersecting with racism and ableism as well as very briefly touching on the wojack giving fat girl backshots meme going around!

SECTION 1 THE BEGINNING OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BODY AND HOW FAT PHOBIA EFFECTED IT.

My first experience with fat phobia I remember consciously is around the ages of 6 or 7. My mother and father had recently divorced and I was growing into myself more and more everyday getting stronger, smarter, limbs getting longer, body getting bigger. I was going through growth spurts. I would chub up a little then id grow a few inches, chub, grow, chub grow. Seems like a pretty normal concept or idea to manage right? Well not for the average y2k adult. Everyone would always make comments to my mother or out of fear of being judged for being a bad parent she would bring it up herself. I remember my mothers response to the comments about my body. "she is stress eating because of the divorce!" was always her reply... and giiiiirl no the fuck I wasn't. I was not really that effected by my mom and dads divorce till later on. At that age as long as I was surrounded by most of my family and I had YouTube much else didn't matter to me and kind of went over my head if i'm being real with you. Hey I'm a kid though who knows maybe I was stress eating and just had no idea what to call it at the time and then don't remember but honestly, if my memory is serving me correctly I used to be so confused when she said that! If I was eating a little more it was probably because I was GROWING INTO MY BODY MAYBE?? That was my first run in which followed up with many more, like when my dad made me step on a scale in the living room of his new home strangers -that later became family- walking around, free to stare at whatever the number said. "If you don't lose weight you are coming to live with me." Still echoes through my head, I was about 7. It doesn't stop there I was being called a cow at school, or by my older brothers at home during petty fights we'd have. Some how none of the insults really stuck like that (besides the situation with my dad). They definitely hit me, but if I denied that they did then that counts as dodging them right? Growing up I always thought I wasn't that heavily effected by the raging and rampant fat phobia permeating through the y2k, but in reality it caused me to start neglecting my body all together. Up until the summer between 7th and 8th grade I never looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe a quick glance but I would never fixate on my appearance. Now hyper fixating on your appearance can be unhealthy but so is pretending you don't have one at all which was the type of timing I was on. Fat phobia among other factors was the leading cause of what became a history of neglecting myself.

SECTION 2 DEVELOPING AN EATING DISORDER AS A FAT PERSON

scroll to the next section if you want to avoid triggers!

The effect fat phobia had on me didn't really start to show on the surface until 7th-8th grade. My girlfriend had an eating disorder and she was living with me at the time because her family was homeless (we were closeted as best friends). She didn't encourage my eating disorder but it was kind of a monkey see monkey do kind of thing, she made me start to consider it. At that age range I was looking for different ways to destroy myself as well as connect with my peers and some how those too things strongly intersected as the glamorization of self harm and mental illness was at an all time high. I'm not sure why twelve to thirteen yearly anon wanted to destroy themselves so bad but I think if anything it stemmed from a need for control over my surroundings. At this age my home life wasn't the best. I forgot how, but I think maybe through just looking up depressing quotes in general I found the infamous Ana and Mia. Oh and trust me Cassie Ainsworth from skins did not help AT ALL. CUE THE INFAMOUS GIF:

TW CASSIE AINSWSORTH GIF:

even LOOKING FOR THIS GIF BEGAN TO STIR SOMETHING INSIDE ME OH MY GOD??

The worst part about being a fat girl with an eating disorder is how proud of me everyone was. "Anon you're getting so slim!" "Anon look at you slimming out see I knew it was just baby fat!". My friends knew of my ed so they would never compliment me for it or really talk about my body in general, probably half because of my ed but also half because I was still fat and not considered desirable or something to be jealous of regardless of if I lost a few pounds. But my family complimented my figure a lot as I slimmed and I got less fat jokes and the doctor was happy and people did treat me a little different. JUST a little cuz I was still fat but a noticeable enough change in the way people treated me for me to want to keep going and indulge myself deeper in my unhealthy habits.

But yeah long story short I developed an ed and I thought I was so fat and gross and disgusting and dude I look back at myself and why was my body LICHRALLAY SO T??? I honestly wasn't even morbidly obese or anything (which I am now BECAUSE of my eating disorder but fuck it we ball and also I ENJOY BEING FAT I knowww plot twist right?) also you minors in the ed community YES YOU take NOTE at this next part: I was literally just growing into my body... but then I fucked up my metabolism really bad and completely skewed my relationship with health, dieting, and workout culture so i'm either doing too much or not enough. So not only did my metabolism get utterly destroyed but having to learn how to take care of myself from scratch ended up destroying all the progress made and here I am literally 60 pounds heavier than I was back then and i've dropped weight since i've developed a healthier relationship with my body so if we are keeping it a buck until about a year ago I had accumulated about 100 pounds of weight since my pre ed days because of the effects the eating disorder had on me ! (oh and I have heart problems now not from being fat but from attempting to become skinny the wrong way! if you fast and binge or fast and do cardio and feel your heart beating like that... if you know you know...yeah you're fucking up your heart and need to stop like right now girly!) SO yeah I am a recovering anorexic with some bulimic symptoms. Though even after developing my eating disorder my issues with body image didn't really really affect me until later on.

SECTION 3 THE SOCIALIZATION OF FATNESS/THE INTERSECTIONAL STRUGGLE BETWEEN MY BLACKNESS AND FATNESS/ BECOMING THE DUFF/ WOJACK MEME.

Along side subconsciously neglecting myself I would also publicly portray myself as very tough skinned and overly confident all throughout middle and high school as a defense mechanism when in reality I was pretty indifferent toward myself and extremely sensitive. I think that my tough exterior wasn't only due to me being fat but also being a black woman although I am biracial/light skinned in complexion I feel like I was still hyper masculinized due to my blackness especially growing up in an area where I was closer in proximity to blackness then a large majority of my counterparts. I feel like a lot of my aggression and flamboyancy came from constantly being in a state of self defense and also subconsciously feeling like I had to play the role that was written for me or else I wouldn't be loved or appreciated or wanted. By the role that was written for me i'm talking about Precious, Rasputia, Mercedes Jones, Ivy Wentz, the stereotype of being the fat black women, and for my non black fat baddies for you this would be The DUFF role. This is when you're known as the flamboyant friend with the attitude that everyones scared to make the butt of the joke because she is NOT afraid to snap you in two. The stereotype isn't entirely wrong i'm sure a lot of people fall into it for the same reason as me but then it becomes our main character trait, and that mixed into a juicy cocktail of dehumanization of fat bodies turns you into the friends the skinny girls bring to the club to scare off ugly dudes as if you're a bodyguard and are immune to sexual or physical assault because you're fat!

So I grew up neglecting my body because of fat phobia developed a life altering eating disorder because of how romanticized they were due to fat phobia, and spent my whole life being guys secret crush, or the "annoying dramatic fat girl" because of fat phobia but still even then it didn't seem it had the real detrimental effect on my body image everyone said it would until I was 20. When I was 20 I moved back to my hometown for a little bit where the beauty standard is very much "ambiguous white skinny girl" and I thought that maybe I would get play because hey we are like adults who are deprogramming all that bullshit anyway right? WELLL I did get play, crazy play of course! Just in secret, and I've had guys have secret crushes on me etc but never to the extent I began to face it in my 20's where they would so obviously be horny over me all the time while simultaneously being mad at me for making them horny because I'm fat and it confuses and embarrasses them ( men are genuinely socialized to be suchhhh fucking psychopaths. -if you're a guy and you're reading this don't say that not all men bullshit yes we know not you i'm not gonna specify every time to preserve your ego goddamn). I have some sad and weird stories about that, that involves men thinking they could be more aggressive with me or literally impose violence on me or be extremely weird and creepy because they're embarrassed they're attracted to a fat girl and on top of that a fat black girl that they hyper-masculinized and degraded in their head due to societal pressure/influence... but imma save that for another day or maybe never because I see nothing coming out of me posting that on here but relived trauma. Also the type of man I just described are the same ones reposting this new viral wojack meme by the way:

thats all im saying about that meme, the guys reposting it like fat bitches and are scared that they like us and can't think for themselves thats literally all I wanted to input into the conversation regarding THAT....

also I use the word bitch in an endearing aave way not in a deragotry way so please don't hit me with that "don't call women bitches" thing I don't be doing it a lot but im also not gonna stop using aave and also i'm LICHRALLY AFAB sooooo shut up...

ANYWAYS...The violence I faced at this point in my life really triggered something in me it made me realize that because of the stereotypes held up against me I will never be treated or respected or perceived authentically by the average Joe. The only person that would see me is those who have taken extensive time to deprogram parts of their brain that created these deep routed bias etc. ( also if you're wondering why these biases were created it all leads back to capitalism but THATS for another post..) After facing literal violence cause of my body it definitely caused a blow at my self esteem, but even then I shined on and persevered continuing to be my sexy self.

SECTION 4 FAT PHOBIA AND ABLEISM INTERTWINED.

It wasn't until I randomly got into an accident and became temporarily handicapped while also in the most toxic relationship of my life did I really start to fucking hate myself. For multiple months I couldn't walk, and not only was I physically handicapped but the trauma I was experiencing at that time of my life had left me mentally handicapped as well I simply didn't want to be alive and exist in this body or any body I just didn't want to exist. I had a foot I could hop on but I couldn't carry all my weight on that foot because of my previous issues with my health, (I had already been struggling with a chronic illness that effected my muscles) and i didn't have the strength in my arms for the crutches so I succumbed to my injuries, resulting in weight gain, eventually hip and back issues etc. Then, when my leg healed, the access weight made me feel like I couldn't walk without pain. I was having issues with my health unrelated to my weight since 2020 but I was homeless up until last year and it was also covid so I had no way to really see a doctor and also I was like 18-19 and had no fucking idea how any of that worked and am still figuring out how it works to this DAY. I actually just got my insurance card for the first time this year. YIPPE YIPPE EVERYBODY CLAP. These issues with my health effected my muscles and my bodies ability to absorb the nutrients from the food I ate so this injury was kind of like the icing on top of the cake because my chronic illness made the recovery almost in possible. I would cry a lot, stopped taking pictures of myself, and everything. But even then I knew I didn't really have any interest in being thin I actually really fuck with my warm fluffy voluptuous form, I just didn't want to be unhealthy.

I still haven't fully unpacked the shame I felt around being unhealthy, I was so ashamed despite me trying my best with what I had, and what I knew, and I also still haven't fully unpacked why I feel like I have to specify as I literally just did a few lines earlier that I was 'trying my best', why do visibly disabled folks only deserve care or sympathy when they're actively trying to fit into a world that isn't set up to support or aid them when it very well could be? The intersectional oppression of ableism and fat phobia is still something i'm actively developing my thoughts about.

A thought ive been thinking about a lot is how obesity is a health condition and it can be detrimental to some folks and that saying that it isn't is a reactionary trauma response to fat phobia BUT also a lot of things can be detrimental and the level of detriment different things give you differentiates based on the person. Some people are bigger than me and healthier. Some people are smaller than me and UNhealthier. The detriment fatness has on your health as all things doesn't exist on the linear scale we have created for it. SO although obesity is a disease and proposing that fat doesn't correlate with health in an important way is harmful it is also harmful and plain weird to hyper fixate on obesity. Im also thinking about how obesity is treated this way because it's one of the most visible health issues and how that bleeds into ableism. I'm still working on these thoughts i'm having and how to explain and dissect them in a proper digestible and understandable way. So I think this where I leave you to think on your own about this, what do you think? Please feel free to comment below!

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