#just separatism
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me: yeah I think all religions are bad and oppressive of women and we should hold them accountable for that.
libfem: …..even islam???
me: well yeah all religions.
libfem: that’s soooo racist and you’re clearly a white supremacist!!! you can’t speak out against misogyny if it’s from a different culture!! 🥺🥺
#radblr#radical feminist safe#radical feminists do interact#radical feminist community#radfemblr#radical feminism#radfeminism#female separatism#i hate men#sorry but I’m just sick of this. LIKE WHY DONT YOU GET IT#anti religion#atheism
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I saw this from the female separatism subreddit & the responses are some of the biggest reasons for separatism et al (or extinction if I'm being candid here). Moids cant be reformed they are fully aware of the hell they force women to live in. MaIe achievement & happiness is rooted in female exploitation & life. Their glory days are based on our horrific days. No amount of love, kindness or facts will change maIes and we cannot happily or even neutrally coexist with them.
Main points across answers:
Many want to experiment but not permanently be women
They dont want to be in constant danger or lose their autonomy at the hands of maIes for merely existing
They dont want to deal with childbirth (& periods)
They dont want to have to share spaces with species much stronger than them with ulterior motives
It makes me go crazy seeing people give moids benefit of doubt for their evil like "maIes just dont understand", "we need to teach maIes", or claiming that maIe violence is a result of maIes struggling with (expressing) their feelings. I get that women love maIes and it can be hard to imagine that people can intentionally be so evil but it is what it is. MaIes have no problems expressing themselves, abusing women is what maIes choose to do because they enjoy & benefit from it - that is their expression.
MaIes see the same news of women being abused, raped, and killed like we do except rather than be disheartened or alarmed they're either apathetic or satisfied. It isn't aliens that's committing GBV it's maIes & maIes have no problem reminding women of this when women anger them (such as rape threats & threatening women they'll end up on the news/true crime). The victim blaming, denial, and derailment of misogyny is part of the game to keep the system alive, they know the events occured & are a systemic occurence they just dont care. Hell not only do they not care, they rejoice in it or get off on it.
MaIes set up environments that work in their favour which simultaneously ensures that women will lose. They know women are set up to live in damn near impossible conditions for us. It's normalised for women to defenselessly share personal & private spaces with beings much more stronger than them with ulterior motives for us, it's trap. It's interesting how these moids aren't saying that they'll just cover up and *poof* harrassment gone, or they'll just pick a nice guy & they'll be okay. MaIes know the net negative they are towards women.
MaIes know that childbirth is a painful process & what do they do? Demand it happens and make it even MORE painful for women. MaIes that impregnate women do not love or care for them. Pregnancy itself is dangerous & sometimes lethal, often comes with a range of health issues, to cause someone to be in that condition especially in a environment where abortions are illegal is reckless & unloving. Now imagine how sinister & full of hatred one has to be to impregnate someone and abuse them on top of that. Many women risk their health & lives to reproduce with a Y and they get abused by said Y instead of being taken care of. Deranged.
Realising that maIes are aware of the evil they inflict is one of the things that radicalised me. It isn't a miscommunication or ignorance issue, their violence is intended. They want control. The cruelty is the point. Instead of wasting time & energy trying to change maIes or hope that they "understand" one day, focus on yourself & other women (who prioritise women). Moids aren't oblivious to female pain they enjoy it. A lot of women treat maIe evil like it's a mistake on maIes part but it's calculated terrorism. I know that this will go over many womens heads as they refuse to hold strong negative sentiments about moids as a collective so if you're not a woman like that, take this post as a sanity check. You aren't crazy, it isn't all in your head.
#Will women listen to any of this? Nope. But I will still speak anyways.#I say all of this as an osawoman so attraction is not an excuse. The time for reconciliation & reform has long gone.#And stop fucking creating more maIes ffs#While many women are under the impression that moids are clueless about our oppression; some want to believe so bc they dont want to come#to terms with evil moids actually are. Because if you want to reproduce or have a positive relationship w/ moids theres no way you can#consciously do that bearing in mind what moids are so many women push it away. Anyways#blackpill feminism#blackpill feminist#female separatism#female separatist#males know what they're doing they just dont care#radical feminism#radical feminist#feminism#moids are terrorists#feminist
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seperatism and anti-natalism are probably the most effective political resistance methods modern woman can do. they kick both balls of the patriarchy really well. while we’re in the capitalist carnival, anti-consumerism (via anti-cosmetics and pornography) is also really good activism and makes the wallets of misogyny bleed. consciousness raising remains essential for any of these.
#radblr#just stating the obvious but I love the political implications of separatism and anti natalism#feminism#politics
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Scrolling through Instagram reels and reminded that a huge proportion of men think that being attracted to all women who are nice to you/your friend is normal and not objectifying…
The comments:
The absolute brainrot. It’s dehumanizing to think you’ve made a friend and find out it’s only because they think you’re hot.
“If u just politely say that you’d rather be friends they’ll try to act like nothing happened” no they’ll throw a tantrum and either physically threaten you or stop talking to you, or will pretend to be your friend but won’t stop making passes at you.
#can’t be friends with men#they always make weird sex jokes or passes at me#I’m not even conventionally attractive I just am a woman who is available#feminism#radfem#female separatism
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the rhetoric that its easier for het women to just be celibate for life than it is for them to do something significantly smaller like give up makeup or stop shaving is.. quite strange and disconnected. like if we want to argue it is possible for het women to give up men & not be with men, i agree. if we want to argue its possible for het women to have happy, fulfilling lives without men, i agree. i don't even disagree with the argument that being a separatist is a crucial aspect of being a radical feminist. but we can argue all of these things without pretending like certain acts are easier than they are. for some women, even giving up makeup is not easy. but at the end of the day, no its not easy to commit to something like never having a romantic & sexual partner for the rest of your life!! like!! feminism and radical actions are not easy, they can be easy for some of us but its not easy overall & pretending like its a small little sacrifice just seems ridiculous
#also i find it weird how many of the hardcore pro-separatism women on here downplay the impact of other feminist actions like#giving up makeup or shaving. its a bit weird!! it just makes me wonder if maybe ur downplaying the other shit bc u havent given that stuff#up or something lmao
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Once again, please stop reblogging from lesbian-archives. They have tags for rad feminism, "gynocentricism", "womb envy", antiprostitution, and separatists tags along with other similar terminology in terf and swerf communities on their blog. It's literally within the most used tags when you go to search. Plus they used to reblog from terfs often enough and use said tags until they decided to be a lil more cryptic I guess....
#what tipped me off like last year was all the second wave authors they kept posting#especially dw0rk1n#one of my mutuals reblogged the quote posted of hers and i had to be like uuuhh this is transmisogynistic#also not saying separatism is inherently bad but in combination with multiple shit listed there#the separatism theyre referring to absolutely excludes trans lesbians and lesbians who are sex workers#like terfs are never gonna label THEIR specific brand of separatism they just use the broader term
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OH BOY MEET "THE CLEANER"
A Finding Frankie OC of mine that I've been brainstorming over for the past few days.
I really don't think I have the right style to draw this, but HAVE IT ANYWAYS
Character lore under the cut. IT'S A LOT AND IM PROUD OF IT
To not get murdered by the monsters, needs to look non-human as ordered by the "HUs"
Frankie = Frankie
TOFrankie = The Other Frankie
TFrankie = Toon Frankie
Henry = Henry Hotline
HUs = Higher-ups
PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES:
*Human
*Age somewhere in late 40s
*Digigrade stilts, visible parts painted red.
*Body modified for 2 extra limbs that stretch coming out of back, but 1 is torn off and missing
*Original arms had been ripped off as some point and replaced with mechanical stretchy ones. Helps with cleaning.
*Red 3-clawed hands with strong grip strength
ROLE:
*Cleaner
*Cannot leave the complex
PERSONALITY:
*Unaffected by gore
*Oddly strong will to live
*Loves all living things looked down upon. Especially the rats.
*Values loyalty highly even if to a shitty company
CLOTHES:
*Full face mask, fastened with elastic straps
*Head covered with a black balaclava
*Dark green, baggy, boilersuit, heavily stained with dirt and blood, many rips that have been repaired with rough stitch work, the odd few holes patched with materials from contestants uniforms
MASK:
*Inspiration from Bumblebee Millipedes
*Mask completely covers up the cleaners voice by making fuzzy hissing sounds instead like a broken voice changer. Occasionally, some words can be understood
*Looks clean and well looked after, spare a few scuffs and scratches. Any cracks are glued back together
EXTRAS:
*Smells like bleach, rust, and blood
*Gait is stiff and awkward
*Loud metal squeaking, clicking, and thumping steps while walking due to the stilts.
*Voice is quiet, rough, slightly slurred, masculin, and with no defined accent
*Almost no response to pain
*No edible food on the premises, so has to make do with other means
*Main area of residence is around the incinerator
*The cleaning cupboards are the only places that feel safe enough to take off the mask and stilts and not be seen by anyone
RELATIONSHIPS
*Frankie is fond of the cleaner who is extremely wary of him despite this
*Frankie will occasionally "gift" the cleaner with kills and objects
*Hates the Noobnoobs because they make mess
*Only takes orders from TOFrankie and HUs
*Has no sadness over the deaths of many contestants, viewing it as a consequence of recklessness and stupidity
*Refuses to interact with the winning contestant for a long time, assuming they will die soon like the rest
*Keeps interactions with Henry at a minimum to reduce any negative response from TOFrankie
HISTORY
*Got the job back when the park was open and functional to the general public, a year or two before the private live streaming
*Bound by soul to the complex through a contract they signed just before the live streaming started
#finding frankie#finding frankie oc#original character#bumblebee millipede#digigrade#bruh#ive been brainstorming this character for a few days#honestly the most thought out character ive ever made#next to Ras one of my LBP OCs#who is nothing by comparison lol#also the oldest character ive made#I can't decided if The Cleaner is non-binary or male#ill have to decide that when i figure out the timeline better#Would be my first male character if it goes that way lol#or just stick with the no pronouns thing#and people can choose whatever they feel's fit#AAHAHAH#ITS MY TURN TO DO THE LONG OC RAMBLES SHADOW#Also the most traumatised character#Kiwi doesn't count because she kind of got her own separat character in SLBU#idk#being a persona of mine she's as traumatised as I am#which is mildly?#WOOO FOSTERCARE HAHAHDGDH#anyways#Millipede design go BRRRRRRR
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“all these INSUFFERABLE TRANNIES words are so poorly defined, i, the clever nonbinary intersex person, know so much better and i say the words are defined like this and that definition is bad” hey i wanna bash my head against a wall, our language accounts for nonbinary people, you just ignored that fact. our language includes intersex people, you are ignorant to how it does. you are confused about wether or not you’re tma or tme? here’s two simple questions, did society assign you male, either at birth or later in life? and are you not in fact male and perhaps closer to being a woman or even nonbinary? if you answered no to either congratulations you’re fucking tme, it’s literally so fucking simple. and your “exempt” status only means “transmisogyny never hurts me ever” if you willfully ignore our words. the exempt is meaning you are exempt as a TARGET of transmisogyny, not it’s effects. as an intersection of systems of oppressions it will hurt people, fucking duh, but we know the target and it’s not ill defined, attempting to claim as such is attempting to redefine transfeminine people out of existence and i have to patience for you
#some people i trusted cuz they pushed back against transandrobros started to pull this shit#and i just can’t believe it’s real#like guys and i do mean guys it’s a lot of trans men#with a smattering of nonbinary transmascs and their cis friends who impersonate us#i’m so sick of this shit#i don’t trust any of you anymore#and then they complain abt transfem separatism like#you made up a boogeyman to explain that your shitty behavior makes people not trust you#because you demonstrate no understanding that you won’t perpetuate your power over us#if you want marginalized friends you need an understanding of how they’re marginalized and to be able to demonstrate to them that you will#not wield the power you have over them#and none of y’all are demonstrating that#you think we’re isolating when we are pulling out the weeds and helping each other flourish#since we finally can stop walking on eggshells cuz we Got Better Friends#be kind to the tranny or she will leave
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This may be a moment of weakness, but I'm starting to have more sympathy with female separatists.
"Women are people and deserve the same rights as you" didn't work. The first generation of men to see first-hand that equal rights means they won't get a wife/mommy/slave went hard right.
50% of marriages end in divorce. 70% of divorces are initiated by women. For every 2 divorced men who want to remarry, there's only 1 divorced woman who wants to remarry. 1/3 of men 18 - 24 haven't had sex in the last year.
Men are better off with you barefoot and pregnant. And they know it.
The incentives and opportunities for men to enslave women are just too strong. I don't know what to do about this.
#I have no idea what this means in practice#I'm fully prepared to eat my words#feminism#female separatism#this isn't about trans women#also being a “traditional” wife doesn't preclude working#but a society where women can't earn more than $40k is better for men#men would rather not have double the competition for every half-way prestigious job#also they're hornier. also they're stronger. also they have less empathy (maybe. it's complicated)#maybe things will look different in another generation. who knows?#for future context this was posted the morning of kamala harris' defeat#I'm so distraught. I don't know what to do#the argument against what I'm saying is that feminism just doesn't impact normal people's politics#but I don't really believe that#the political gap between gen z men and women is enormous#maybe boys are just afraid of cancel culture?#that may be a factor#but I think it's about slave mommies or employment
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“the whole fucking off to the middle of nowhere and starting a lesbian separatist commune idea sounds cool in theory but is unrealistic in practice and could never actually work in modern da-”
#SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!#like is it a long shot? maybe but I’m not giving up on my dream idc how long it takes#and to hear this rhetoric coming from other radfems… like pls. let me dream#i just wanna live out my days on a farm with my future wife and our animals#gardening cooking and forming relationships with other lesbians who wanna do the same#is it really too much to ask#I don’t think you understand how unbothered I would be to never have to see another man again…#female separatism#lesbian#radsplain.txt
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How is it that a twelve year old girl is old enough to give birth to a living being when she is required to have parental approval to check out a book from her local library?
#yall just want to control women#contradiction#radical feminism#female separatism#radblr#terfsafe#radical feminist community#radical feminists do interact#radical feminist safe#misandry#pro abortion#little girls should not suffer pregnancies#no to pregnancy#abortion is essential#abortion is a human right#abortion is a right#abortion should be legal worldwide
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girl you can have that food! calorie counting is just another tatic made up by men to control us trust me
#just another thing to make us insecure istg 🙄🙄#radblr#radical feminist safe#radical feminists do interact#radical feminist community#radfemblr#radical feminism#radfeminism#female separatism#i hate men
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Saw a post on how younger generation adults tend to be more domestically reserve (closing blinds/curtains, kids not playing outside, not having strangers in for a meal etc) and the post was talking about how community spirit had been lost -and also how people are afraid about being recorded w/out consent- but once again nobody ever names the fucking problem when it comes to moids.
People -mainly women- are more guarded now because moids are evil opportunists. When you dont learn from history it's doomed to repeat itself. The same community people yearn for is the same space that was breeding grounds for abusers. There have been numerous cases of kids playing outdoors only for moids to abduct, rape, and kill them. There was a recent case of this where an autistic girl was playing outdoors & a moid chose to abduct and rape her -he impregnated her & she gave birth to a son-. There have been cases of kids playing outdoors only to be watched by a creep then he returns and kills the family & takes the child. Moids have gone to homes pretending to need help only to kill the family. Moids have seen women in homes through their windows & decided to attack them. So yeah people used to be more "open" in communities but these communities were also full of moids who'd molest kids.
I'm not saying it's right or the solution is to be boarded up but when people bother to be honest about moid violence & address it is when things will change however this will never be done on a social level because many people benefit from moids terrorism so they pretend it isn't happening all the while perpetuating & benefitting from it.
#female separatism#female separatist#radical feminism#radical feminist#blackpill feminism#feminism#moids are terrorists#feminist#blackpill feminist#moids are evil#men are terrorists#men are evil#moids ruin EVERYthing#moids are dangerous#community and civilisation just made it easier for oppressors to oppress people as their prey is collectively together
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"separatists want women to give up their chance at love" the assumption here is that men can genuinely love women (rather than their usefulness). if men were out here loving women up there'd be no need for feminism in the first place. please stop avoiding the issue.
#radblr#separatism#like let's be so for real for a sec#i am not anti you finding a loving husband#i just know the odds of you marrying a predator are higher#if you found a genuinely loving man who wasn't a perv behind your back i'd love that for you#but there's no guarantee and again#the numbers are saying fat chance
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Other trans people are not your enemy.
This goes for both trans women & fems and trans men & mascs. There are popular trans women twitter accounts telling young trans women that trans men do not care about them and simultaneously denying trans men face any transphobia, there are popular trans men on tumblr telling young trans men that trans women do not care about our oppression, pointing to the lack of talk about murdered trans men as proof.
And some of these points are fair, we should listen to each other more about our struggles. But you are making that difficult. Do you think a trans woman wants to listen to someone who accuses all trans women of hating trans men and not caring about our struggles? Do you think trans men want to listen to someone who says tells people that trans men are future terfs and will never care about trans womens struggles?
Are we not all just sides of the same dice? Are we not all facing oppression from transphobes? Terfs write books about how trans men are mutilating themselves and articles about predatory trans women in bathrooms, republicans fund legislation targeting trans surgeries and hormones, which affects all of us.
And even if we did not face the same struggles, why are we divided? Again, are we not all the same, simply trying to be ourselves in our own bodies? We can each talk about our own struggles, the difficulties we face and the joys we experience without the opposite being true of the other, infact more often than not it's extremely similar and I think we'd benefit from listening to each other more.
#transmisogyny#transandrophobia#trans separatism#because thats what this is really about im so fucking sick of the pervasive trans separatism i see in trans spaces#and both sides have had separatist movements and they use the existence of the other to recruit more folks driving us further apart#i dont want to get into conspiracy theory thinking and say the big separatist accounts are run by transphobes#because theyre not theyre just hurting trans folks lashing out but they are making it worse by hurting young trans folks#trans men who accuse random trans women of being baeddels are just as bad as trans women who accuse random trans men of being future terfs#like both groups are/were abusive as fuck what a great thing to wish on someone#hatred does nothing but cause harm honestly#also id like to point out that these separatist groups also harm the group theyre recruiting#baeddels notoriously drove gnc/nb trans fems away and the leader literally raped someone#transmasc separatists STILL use the most disgusting misgendering language about other trans men
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks#adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like#the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously#and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it#but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia#namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always#distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever#i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post#i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶
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