#just saw a post about a body being a ‘divine weapon’ and i don’t want to reblog it and be negative in the tags

[backhurtyy]

people who don’t feel trapped in their body, what’s that like?

[astaroth1357]

Brothers React to a Demigod MC 

So, I've gotten some interest to do a Brothers follow-up to a previous request of mine (Undateables React to a Cute, Badass MC), however, I've thus far refused to write one. Honestly, this HC actually plays on a trope I personally dislike and had it not been a request I would have never done it to start with. I just can't see any reasonable way a non-magic human can beat a bunch of demons, I just can't, and that hinders my imagination quite a bit. …But someone who’s not so human? That I can get behind. Fair warning, I grew up with the Percy Jackson series so that’s going to paint quite a bit of how I see modern demigods. Ready for things to get super-ultra fanfic-y for a bit?

Intro:

The day to kidnap bring the exchange students to the Devildom has finally come and the demons have all gathered in the Council Room to open their portal to the human world. Really, things started without a hitch - the portal opened with and their future student dropped down out of it and landed on the floor… before they suddenly leapt up, pulled out a weapon, and lunged at them!

… This isn’t your normal human, it is?

Lucifer

Oh Devil, this couldn’t have been any farther than what they wanted… They were looking for a human and they managed to pull out a halfling! A divine halfling no less!! Why wasn’t this in their file?!

Look, Lucifer might not be on good terms with his father, but even he knows he had it better than any children of the pagan gods… The levels of petty vindictiveness that run through that bunch are literally the stuff of legends...

After he and Barbatos were able to restrain the MC before they hurt themselves or anyone else, Diavolo explained everything to them and gave them a pardon for attacking the Demon Prince on sight… After they identified themselves and their parentage, Lucifer knew they were in for some shit…

He and Diavolo had to iron out an apology letter to their godly parent for days just to keep from saying anything that could accidentally cause a second Troy or worse... It was a mess...

But on the bright side, the “human” came pre-prepared for fighting monsters and demons, which honestly took a bit of a load off his shoulders. That’s less responsibility for Mammon - and in his experience, the less responsibility Mammon has, the better things usually turn out.

… Though their ability to actually hold their own in a fight did make things complicated sometimes - like whenever he was their perceived opponent... 

He wasn’t expecting to have to manage a being that was actually capable of meeting him toe-to-toe on the battlefield and it did hinder his intimidation factor to some degree…It was hard to be threatening to someone who’s likely faced worse than you could ever offer.

In the end it probably worked out for the best, as a live exchange student is better for Diavolo than a dead one - but man did it get on his nerves until they made their pact together… Be scared of him, dammit!

Mammon

The first time he tried to threaten the human, they straight up pulled out a weapon and looked like they were ready to whip his ass!! Didn’t they know he wasn’t being serious?? 😫

He really didn’t know why he had to be on babysitting duty, anymore... This huma-er demigod could handle themselves just fine!

When he first ditched them with Levi, he later found out they managed to cleanly toss his brother over their head and make a break for it all by themselves! And Levi’s no pushover either!!

Later, he saw them getting ambushed on their way back from school and they soundly knocked out about five demons before he even caught up to them… and he’s, like, fast and stuff… 

Their strength is kind of unreal at times, but he could tell they were still far from a mindless killing machine. They were more or less a normal person, they had wants and dreams like anybody else, but they just happened to be a long stronger than the average mortals around them. 🤷‍♀️

After he eventually got to know them and a bit about how their life worked, he felt a little bad for them... Who wants to be hunted down just for being born?

After learning about their struggles, Mammon ended up resolving to help keep them safe (even if a part of him knew they didn’t need him that much).

I mean, if the whole world’s against you, then you can use all the help you can get... right?

Leviathan 

Levi found out exactly one thing about them within the first two minutes of meeting them… their reflexes were killer.

After Mammon ditched them on Day One, he tried to drag the human to his room to tell them his genius plan but they broke out of his grip and threw him flat on his back like was just second nature! 

He was stuck on the ground for a full minute, trying to process what just happened, while they ran off into the House all alone…

Did he just get tossed around… by a human?? Was he really that pathetic!?!

Finding out later that they were actually half-god certainly helped out his self-esteem because, man, if he had lost so easily to a human of all things... He might have just never left his room again…

Levi pretty much kept his distance from them until they finally made a pact together and then he discovered that the MC wasn’t so scary after all. If he’s being honest, being in the same house as a demigod was actually kind of cool...! 

Like, it was almost exactly the plot of the show: “Wait, I Thought I Was the Son of a Pagan God So What Am I Doing in a Christian Hell??” but their MC seemed to know a lot more about fighting than the protagonist of that show ever did…

Plus, because he never had to worry about their safety, he had even more excuse to never leave his room. Win-win!

Satan

A demigod, eh…? He had done plenty of research into human world mythologies in his spare time, frankly he thought the old gods had died out - but it seems they were still up and kicking… and making babies for whatever reason? Horny bastards...

Satan's original interest in the MC was purely academic. It’s not everyday that you get to meet someone of such a unique heritage and he fully intended to learn if all the legends about their greatness were true… and well...

He could say that the MC was certainly different than how he pictured humans being. He’d never met very many before, but from what he could gather they were a weak race that really got by on wit and persistence… However, nothing about the MC was weak.

Their aptitude for combat was surprisingly sharp, both in skill and reflexes. He had once blown up at them in anger and not only did they dodge his swipes but they got in a good few hits themselves with a nearby lamp… He never once thought a mortal could give him a black-eye but, somehow, they pulled it off. 🤷‍♀️

Combine their physical skill with what magical gifts were granted to them by their godly-half and they were a force to be reckoned with… Even Solomon seemed to hesitate and think more about his actions around them (which is saying something for a sorcerer of his strength).

It’d be fair to say a part of him grew to respect the MC long before they ever made their pact and that respect only grew afterwards. If he had to be bound to any master, human or otherwise, he’d rather it be one that he could right about consider an equal not only as a friend, but in strength as well.

Asmodeus 

A demigod…? Oooo, he hadn’t come across one of those since he bedded Aeneas all those centuries ago… Such a gorgeous man, got all his looks from his mother~! 🤭

Asmo was probably the most interested in their godly heritage, but it felt like he was treating them like a zoo exhibit for a while… Something pretty and new to look at, but not exactly someone he wanted to know personally...

He openly and readily admitted that watching their little demigod in action got him hot and bothered (or well, more hot and bothered than usual ) but it didn’t take him to see they weren’t interested at the time…

He decided that he just had to have a pact with them after they saved him from Henry 1.0! It was before he noticed the giant snake and he was lurching back to strike, but the human swept in to knock him out of the way. They probably could have made mince meat of the creature themselves if Levi weren’t begging for them to spare his former pet...

Post-pact Asmo treated them with a lot more respect… but also still fanboyed over their fighting skills hardcore. 

Like, their body had to be fit to keep up with all those monsters, right?? What was their training routine? Could he watch?? Oh please say he can watch!! He just can’t get enough of that fighter’s physique…! 😍

Beelzebub 

So… the human isn’t a human but only part human? And the other part is a god? Does that make them any sturdier than normal humans…? Call him curious…

Beel was probably one of the few brothers who was legitimately weary of the MC from the beginning… He can get a certain feel for a person pretty quickly and something about them just felt…frankly, kind of dangerous.

But they also intrigued him a little… Beel’s used to being one of the strongest demons in any room he walks into (not a boast, just a fact) so for him to get that feel from a mortal was pretty impressive. A part of him just wanted to test them… you know?

So. He did. He asked them to help him train his martial arts one day and even with his awareness, he was not expecting the results that he got.

The MC was strong. Very strong. They were not only able to keep up with him and dodge his blows, but they were able to predict his moves and counterattack in kind. They didn’t even need to tell him that they had actually been fighting for their life for years, he could tell. They had a skill you don’t get from practice matches...

After that point, the two would go to each other to train and keep their skills sharp… but also just to spar for fun. Their fighting styles made a pretty good match and they bonded pretty damn quick because of it. 

If anime tells us anything, when you find a good fight buddy, you stick with them. Even if one’s part god and the other is a demon. 🤷‍♀️ 

Belphegor 

A demigod is still human enough to hate, sorry MC. Not that he knew about their godly heritage at first…

Really, he should have been a little more suspicious of how easily they seemed to take to life in the Devildom... Weren’t demons supposed to scare humans? Why did they seem so comfortable down here...?

His confirmation only came when he tried to enact the final part of “Use the MC to Escape the Attic!” plan and take their life to seal the deal… but oh boy, was he outclassed real quick… 

The MC had already socked him in the jaw by the time he got his full demon form out and then they threw him across the room by the tail… the TAIL!! And it hurt like a bitch, too!! Even during the full blown fight that followed, he could tell they were holding back and it pissed him off something fierce...!

Why was the MC so strong?!? Humans weren’t supposed to be strong!!!

His brothers heard all the commotion and the Lilith confrontation ended up happening up in the attic between a somewhat beat-up Belphie and a barely-scratched MC. Had Beel not come to his defense on instinct, it might have turned out worse for him in all honesty… Something about that human just wasn’t right…

He only found out about their god-half after everything settled down and he promised not to try killing them again (not that anyone thought he could...) and that put some things into perspective. So the Lastborn Ruler of Hell isn’t as strong as one mortal demigod…? Ouch. Okay, fine then... Whatever...

He does think it’s too bad he missed them beating the crap out of the rest of his brothers, though (minus Beel)... That would have been fun to see. 😔

So I tried to keep this one God-parent neutral, but I’ve upgraded this to its own series! Check it out if you’re interested! 😊

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes

[nightowlfandom]

Vampire! King! Ardyn Izunia!- Sadistic

Hey guys! Let’s kick off October with a bang!!! 

ANON ASKS (HEY FRIEND)

Sooo Ardyn is a guilty pleasure of mine. Feel free to do what you want with these prompts, I won’t judge lol. They are all from the prompt list.

7. You like when I choke you don’t you?

62. What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think?

70. You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone.

Thank you for including the actual prompt in the ask!! I may or may not have made him slightly sadistic. Also I got a rude ask telling me to put a read more break...so on purpose I didn’t add one here. It pays to be polite.

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

X RATED PROMPT LIST| NON X RATED PROMPT LIST

Leggo!!

...

The hem of your gown was torn to shreds as you ran through the forest. You were barefoot running through the cold and wet dirt. Your feet were starting to itch from the scratching of small twigs against your skin. You were running away from your parents’ palace. 

You were to be married to someone. Someone you were disgusted by. You had two options. Marry or Be disowned. You chose to escape through your window and jump down. You almost hurt yourself on the way down, but it was worth it. 

You had been running for what felt like hours with the moon on your tail. You finally stopped as soon as your palace was nothing but a silhouette in the distance. 

“Guess I’m homeless now.” you sighed, sitting on a small log. “What am I supposed to do?” you groaned. It was dark and you could barely make out the moon amongst the smog. Lucky for you the wind was slightly picking up allowing you to feel the breeze on your skin.

“What’s this?” a low vibrating tone allowed you to come back to your senses. 

You instantly rose to your feet, turning to meet the face of tall man. He looked as if he was dressed for the middle of the winter time with his heavy trench coat and scarf. 

“A scared little lamb all by herself in such a place. You’re a long way from home aren’t you, young one?”

“Don’t speak down on me as if I’m a child, sir.” you narrowed your eyebrows at the strangers. “I’m far from it.”

“Hm.” he smirked. “My apologies.” he gave a slight bow. “What’s a young soul like you doing out in these parts so late in the night?”

“I don’t believe that is any business of yours, sir.” you took a step back. “Now I’ll be taking my leave now.” your voice wavered as you turned aroundd. But just as you turned to walk away, a man, the same man appeared before you.

“ You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone. “ he said with his hand held out. “If I may be so bold, I can escort you out of these parts.” his eyes practically glowed in the dark.

“No thank you.” you stepped back. “I know my way very well, thank you.”

Just as you turned around again, he appeared in front of you once more.

“Darling little girl-”

“Don’t call me a little girl!” you seethed.

“Hm, touchy are we. Young one doesn’t like being called a pathetic...little...girl.” he towered over you. “And don’t even think about grabbing the dagger I know is strapped to your thigh...you won’t get to use it.”

“What are you?” your voice slightly wavered.

“Ardyn Izunia...is what I am.”

Ardyn, where have you heard that name. The man seemed to laugh as the look of realization crossed your face. King Ardyn? The ‘Father’ of all vampires. He cackled at your fear struck expression. Your father had told you stories of his evil. 

“Ah the young princess Y/N knows of me?”

“How did you-”

“Know your name, love? Everyone knows of the, most beautiful, kindest and giving of her time. You should know better, how forgetful we are.” he raised an eyebrow.

“You stay away from me.” you warned. 

“Hm are you’re guards going to come and kill me, love?”

“I have no guards...not anymore.” you found yourself saying. You had your hand on your thigh under the slit of your dress. You wrapped your hand around your dagger. “Leave me...now.”

“Hm...anymore? Why? Was the little princess disowned?” he laughed. “Did their royal highnesses finally get rid of their problem child?”

You suddenly felt small and inadequate. “That’s none of your business.”

“Oh yes you have.” he took a step towards you. “You’re all alone, with no one?” he cooed. “Which means there’s no one to hear you scream.”

“Hear me sc-”

You were tackled to the floor, your weapon flying out of your hand. Ardyn bared his fangs towards you...” You like when I choke you don’t you? “ he cackled as he tightened his hands around your throat. You felt dizzy, very...fucking..dizzy.

”I must admit, darling girl...you look so delectable. It’s a shame I must kill you...but a vampire must drink.” he moved his hands from your neck allowing you to inhale sharply.

With his arm wrapped around your wrist and bought your shaky arm to his mouth. You were too frozen to even try and move. Adryn inhaled your scent, smiling sadistically down at you. 

You held in your pain as he sunk his needle like fangs into your skin. You wouldn’t scream or cry.

“...So...divine.” the man shuddered. “S-so...addicting.” Was that normal? 

You had no idea why, but feeling this. It was supposed to be painful, it was supposed to be what happened before you died a terrible death. So why were you seeing images...images you shouldn’t have seen.

...

“You look so beautiful in the sun, my darling.” the man beside you caressed your face as you both laid in the gardens. “You are the most beautiful of my fledglings.”

“I’d just better be the only one you treat like this.”

“Trust me darling, there are other people who will sire for me...my fangs will only ever touch your skin...when I’m not feeding or killing.” he smirked. “Come, it’s been a busy day. Lay your head on my chest...rest with me.”

You laid on his chest, the sun casting a glare over your naked bodies. “Can I ask you a question, Ardyn? Is this whole laying naked in the sun a regular thing?”

“Clothes are for humans with no free time...Now hush my dear...rest.”

...

and everything else went black.

...

You awoke on a plush surface. It was soft and velvety. A large, black comforter was covering your body. 

“Oh fuck, am I dead?” was your first thought. You swung your legs around the bed and planted your feet on the floor. Why were you so cold. You walked over to a vanity, standing in front of a mirror. Your arm was bandaged up. “No...I’m not dead.”

“You’re finally awake.”

You whipped around. Ardyn was sitting in an armchair wearing only a silk bathrobe. “I was beginning to think you’d never wake up.”

“W-what? What did you do to me?”

“I didn’t kill you, I know that much.” he rose from his seat.

“What?...Where am I??”

“My home...well. Our home now.” he walked towards you. “I know what you’re thinking-”

“You saw it too didn’t you?” you cut him off. “I know you know what it means...so tell me.”

“I’m not sure...all I know is that I couldn’t kill you. Before I knew it, I bit my own hand and made you take my own blood...I’ve never done that when changing someone.”

“Changing?!” you widened your eyes. “You...you PEICE OF!” you raised your fist when you realized just how clearly you could make out every crevice and divot on your hand and nails. “N-no this isn’t real!”

“Oh it is, my sweet.” he tiptoes his fingers up arm. You took a small step back, staring down at yourself. 

“ What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think? “ he grabbed your hands in his. “Stop resisting and accept your new fate.”

“I feel strange.” you expressed honestly. “Is it supposed to feel like this?” you stared up at him.

He tilted your head up, staring at your innocence. 

“It can feel even better. Vampires are godly lovers...very few have laid with me...if you agree, you can be mine.”

(HAVE ANY MONBSTER REQUESTS? LET ME KNOW!!! IM TRYNA POST AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE THIS MONTH!!)

[thong-in-the-twist]

Chapter: Gwangju

//Gong Yoo (Kim Shin) x you

Summary: To atone for his sins he is forced to wander the Earth searching for her before it’s too late.

Prologue: Silla Goryeo Joseon Tamna March 1st

It's been three years since I updated this last. Exactly three years and 9 days, and I'm glad to be posting it. God it’s been so long I no longer remember how I used to format my entries. I don’t even remember my tagging system. A word of warning: modern Korean history is heavily marked with suffering and for the purposes of this story I needed "her" to go through... A lot. But there is only one chapter left, so hopefully, we won't be suffering a lot longer.

***

It was obvious to him that she was going to be reborn immediately. It worked like that for centuries, why this time it would have been different? So he started searching for her immediately, anxious. His land was crying, his people were suffering.

Forests were being cut down to fuel the new age, the industrialization age. Instead, the land was being converted into fields: rice, cereals, cotton. Colonizers were laying new roads, tarmac was flowing down the peninsula so similarly to cold mountain streams. All to fuel the new age, all to feed the great Japanese Empire.

Mines on the peninsula were running day and night, long shafts filled with exploited bodies. Names were being changed to Japanese sounding ones, men were forced to cut their hair, celibate Buddhist monks were forced to marry, kids were banned from learning Korean in schools, papers were censored, farmers forced out of their lands, his people were forced to worship Shinto, and to see the Emperor as a god.

Shamanistic rituals were even scarcer than during the reign of the Lee dynasty. People were no longer openly calling for him, but their thoughts thrown into the ether were reaching him. Pleas and begging, prayers and threats, all were filling his mind and heart. The burden was heavy. Not too heavy to carry, but it seemed harder than the sword he was carrying in his heart. It seemed heavier than the last memories of his other life, than the image of red on white stone.

She found her. Young girl in the seaside village, barely 20 kilometers north from the village where she was born as Binna, centuries ago. The village tree was still alive even if the village itself didn’t exist anymore. Kim Shin didn’t know what happened to it after he saw her sacrifice herself back then. Were it pirates, or wars, or famine that drew people out? There was no way of knowing it.

She was four when he found her. Back in Joseon she would have been found just in time, he’d have two years to convince her parents not to give her away. And then 11 years until she had to be wed. Her village was far off the beaten path. It was far from the capital and far from Japanese shores. People were hardened and down-to-earth but it was a tightly knit community. It was as safe as it could have been in that age and time.

Kim Shin spent his days under the Holy Tree, now surrounded by forest. He remembered the village square and colorful ribbons. He remembered tax collectors and their cart. He remembered Binna’s clothes and hair, and sword splitting her throat open.

Kim Shin visited her house by night. He hid in the shadows, not ready to be seen by her nor her parents. He watched her as she slept in the same room as the rest of her family. He watched her wondering what woman she would grow up to be. He hoped that he’d be able to shield her from any hardship that she was destined to face in her life.

While watching her sleep, he was reminiscing about her previous lives. Her bravery, her tenacity, her pride and her selflessness. The lives that were lived and ended for his people, the lives that were ended for him, the ones that were ended because of him.

Kim Shin was restless. He was used to waiting. He learnt to be patient after centuries of waiting and slowly working towards his goal. And yet, he was restless. Sitting by the Holy Tree he was restless and anxious. Her last life was sacrificed for the country. For this land, and for the people. And here he was waiting idly for her to grow up. She was safe.

The Holy Tree was old but strong, with new springs and bright green leaves. It was magnificent even without ribbons and paper talismans. It was safe, far off the beaten path.

Their people were not.

And yet, he was idly waiting for her to grow up and take away his burden, while sitting under the Holy Tree.

While their people were desperately begging for help.

She was safe. And he had time. He had enough time to present her the liberation of their people as a wedding gift.

And thus, Kim Shin was off once more.

*

Koreans were fighting on the peninsula, yes, but there were fighting abroad as well. Kim Shin supported the Provisional  Government of Republic of Korea in Shanghai, and aided students in Japan. When the empire invaded Manchuria, he was there fighting them off. He pleaded and negotiated with Chinese diplomats for them to move against the assailant before it was too late.

But the Central Kingdom waited too long, they were undecided way beyond what was safe. And thus, the Japanese attacked first.

The war that broke out drained the Korean peninsula even more. They were the ones to bear the brunt of feeding and supplying soldiers. And then, when Kim Shin was sure it couldn’t be worse, European war came to their lands, merging with the already raging Sino-Japanese conflict and bringing more players, more arms and more death into the equation. His people were forced into the Japanese army, forced to fight far away from their home – living and dying in China, Indonesia, Philippines.

He went where they were. It wasn’t their fight. They were farmers, artisans, teachers, workers – they weren’t warriors. He was. Kim Shin was back in the field, once more fighting for his homeland. Once more he took upon himself to be the most faithful agent of death. Immortal and determined, with unfamiliar weapon in his hand, but oh so familiar scent of blood, tears and fear clinging to him. The art of war changed through centuries but principles reminded the same.

But now it was harder to understand the purpose. It was harder to face dying foes. Every soul in his wake had hopes, and dreams, and dedication, and destiny – and yet he was invading the realm of the Divine, deciding who was to live and who was to day. What he did was to slaughter.

 But he was also fighting for his compatriots, forced to lay their lives for the occupant. He fought to save them and to bring them back to their land. He helped them escape, he cleared camps, he dealt with Japanese officers.

Japanese defeat was what they were hoping for anyway.

It was in Perek that faced his hardest encampment. It was in Perek that among Japanese officers and soldiers, and his people forced into ranks, he found others. It was in Perek that among male voices he heard female pleas.

It was in broad daylight that he marched through the camp, taking in the tents and appraising layouts and main locations. Where to get food, where to get supplies, where were the blind spots. It was in broad daylight that he heard a plea so similar to one he heard centuries ago in the Song Dynasty’s capital. So earnest and so broken plea of death.

After the first one came another, hurried and repeated like a mantra, like a prayer. And another, and another.

And another.

So familiar. So heartbreaking.

Here, so far from his homeland, he heard her begging for death. For an escape.

But she was safe. She was safe back in her village, on the shores of Eastern Seas. She was safe back in her village, so close to the Holy Tree.

And yet, it was her voice, strung thin and wavering, but unmistakably hers.

A taste of bile invaded his throat as he zeroed on a dilapidated building. Better than a shack only in the name, with dark walls and dirty windows barely containing the horrors inside. His surroundings seemed to disappear, sounds of the encampment dying out, the building his focal point.

He took his time. Waiting itself was horrible, pleas constant, it would have been so easy to just end it. End all of it, all of them, all of the oppressors, just raze the  camp to the ground. But he was afraid. Afraid of going inside and seeing that was happening, how they lived. It was easy to guess, and hard to understand. Justified rage was clawing his insides, not only for her, but for all of them. It wasn’t human to do, not that the occupant was ever human.

His fear was their prolonged suffering.

He fulfilled every one of their pleas. Every single one. Some wished for death, some wished for death for their oppressors. Some wished for health, some wished to never remember. Some wished for another chance in life, some wished for one last meeting with assailants and sharp object to meet them with. He did it all.

She wanted a knife. Sharp, and easy to conceal. She found it with glee and fervor. She wanted for her doors to be open and for night to be dark. She wished for rain, heavy and obscuring. She wished for that man to fall. To suffer. To know. To fear. To never forget.

Kim Shin watched her as she sneaked out of her room. He watched her back as she sneaked through the building, chastising himself for ever believing she was safe. It wasn’t even 15 years since he saw her last. He watched her as she found her prey. He watched her as she made sure that man would never do the same thing to another woman ever again.

His screams were muffled by a gag she made out of her sad excuse of a blanket. His blood was mixing with the falling rain, that matted her hair to her face. Her skin was ghostly, blush and looked paper-thin.

Once again he watched her as she raised her blade against herself. She was sure and focused,  and emanating finally found peace. She was quick and efficient, and he barely had time to catch her before she fell down. She was smiling when her head hit the cradle of his head and her open eyes were staring lifelessly at the rainy clouds.

Kim Shin sat there in the rain, holding her body, obvious to now quiet whimpers coming from the man laying a few steps away from him. Once more her life was filled with suffering. Was her childhood good? How did she grow up? How long was she here?

He didn’t cry – feeling like he did not deserve to. She wasn’t the only one of his people that went through this, and something was telling him that there were countless more suffering now.

*

Finding her was important, but making sure that the world she was being born into was better became urgent. Kim Shin knew he couldn’t deal with her suffering. All recent lives he witnessed ended in a tragedy. Queen trying to protect freedom, young girl fighting for it, and the one that saw it in death.

She deserved freedom, all of his people did.

And freedom came with pain, tears and even more death. Foreign powers fought over his land, influencing its growth and stagnation once again. His land was sold and divided even after its occupant lost the war. Both red and blue powers abhorred giving Koreans back their land and their freedoms, forcing their ideologies upon them.

And thus the greatest conflict shook the land once more. June 25th, the day when brother went against his brother. Three years. Three years of fights, civil war raging on the peninsula destroying what was left after 35 years of the occupation.

And even that conflict ended because outside powers decided so. Every death, every lost soul – it was all because foreigners decided to settle their differences right there on Korean soil. The wound left by the war was painful and still suppurating. Peninsula was divided into two, one nation was split and the border between them became a wall that separated families and broke people’s spirit.

He saw fourteen hundred years of conflicts and changes, and ups and downs, but the last hundred years were far the worst he had seen. For the first time in his long life he wasn’t sure how to go about finding her. If he even should. Every time he found her, he lost her just as quickly. She suffered so much.

But if he didn’t search for her, he was sure that the Divine would find another way to punish them. Like giving her knowledge of his existence and urging her to wait for him.

By now Divine schemes were somewhat readable. He’d find her where he’d least expect her – where she was supposedly the safest, yet in the biggest danger. People in the south were struggling, famine and corruption was rampant. North was getting help from other communist states and plotting expansion. And he couldn’t find her.

Just like when he found her on Tamna, she wasn’t here. She wasn’t within the borders of both Korean states. And that’s what horrified him. He looked in China, so many of his compatriots lived there. He looked in Japan among those who stayed after occupation. He searched in South East Asia among those who stayed after the second world war. He visited the United States of America, hoping to find her there. And yet, as if the Divine was shielding her from him, he couldn’t find her.

In Germany he saw the Wall. The Berlin Wall dividing one nation into two. The blue state and red state, just like his homeland, was divided. The Wall was fresh and imposing, newly built. A palpable sign of schism. A knife in a wound, cutting it more open with every breath. It wasn’t as protected as the inter-Korean border was but it served as a reminder of similarly painful division.

As Kim Shin walked by the Wall, on the western side of the border, he heard a cautious ask. Barely audible, fleeting.

The person was asking for a haircut. If he wasn’t over fourteen hundred years old, he’d dismiss it as an auditory illusion. What would be a Korean doing behind the Iron Curtain – asking for a haircut?

Kim Shin knew better. Kim Shin knew: she was there.

*

Finding his way into the USSR was easier than he thought it to be. As a citizen of the communist, neighboring nation, he was more than welcome. He travelled from Korea, surprised by the sheer numbers of Koreans on the USSR's eastern lands. But the closer he got to Europe the fewer they got. By the time he left Moscow, his head was clear and free of usual prayers. It was in Poland that he heard one more plea – a different voice, exactly the same ask.

Children. Who Kim Shin found were children. From 5 years old to 16. War orphans being cared for by people so vastly different from them.

She was among them, one of the oldest kids, happily chatting in weirdly hard language.

It took him quite long to understand why all the kids kept praying for a haircut. Their hair was neatly kept, just like their clothes, their rooms. There was something of military efficiency in the way they were being brought up, and Kim Shin understood that it was due to a few Korean supervisors that came here with kids.

Kids were cared for, but not exactly loved. That’s why they thought so fondly of getting haircuts. Hairdressers would pat and massage their heads – that was an extent of warmth they were getting.

*

She and the rest of the kids were sent back to Korea a few months later. She drowned in a river when she tried to escape back to her European orphanage for the third time. Yalu River was her undoing, just like those centuries ago cold waters of the sea took her away.

So much death. So much suffering. What for?

As the North's situation was getting worse, the South started fighting for its economy. Authoritarian governments in both Koreas were similar in goals but different in execution, and slowly their fates were changing. South Korea was coming out of poverty, just as North Korea started spiraling into it.

With newly found resources South Koreans were finally able to think and want – and what they wanted was freedom. Freedom through free choice and democracy. Assassination of general Park, southern dictator, seemed like a perfect opportunity – but before democratic movement could raise its momentum it was brutally squashed.

***

“If we all go, they won’t be able to hold him! We need to get him out!”

Every frantic sentence is met with loud approval. You weren’t surprised when they formed a new government without looking back at people. You weren’t surprised when Chun Doohwan took over KCIA while still holding his position in the Korean Army. Of course he would. Even martial law wasn’t a surprise. But a few hours ago you heard that they arrested Kim Daejung.

Kim was an oppositionist. He was fighting for democracy in your country, and what was more important he was from your region. Rumors said that he was being held on charges of instigating demonstrations.

What a bull…

You were there all because you wanted to be there, and wanted better for your country.

“They are closing the university!” The shout could be heard above the other voices. Suddenly the thirty of you fell silent. You focused on the man that shouted it. You knew his face, you might have seen him once or twice in the library.

“What…?”

“Chun declared universities to be dangerous to society!” The roar that follows is deafening. There is no more “inciting”, all of you immediately walk to the university, gathering other students while marching.

The road leading to the main entrance is long, which gives you a perfect view of army vehicles parked in front of it. Soldiers organizing were also visible, moving with purpose or watching you with caution.  Your group wasn’t big. Maybe two hundred souls. You weren’t sure what was the plan – but the goal was clear – to show that you wouldn’t take it lying down. They couldn’t take it all. Freedom, Kim Daejung, universities.

You weren’t sure who threw the first stone. It was all a blur. There was shouting, screams and orders, flying stones and falling batons. The students’ group dispersed only to form back, and to scatter once more but this time closer to the Provincial Office.

This time soldiers were wearing riot gear.

*

“You know well that I am going back out there!”

Your mother's eyes are filled with tension. The same tension pushes her lips into a thin line drawing her wrinkles out. She won’t back down, but neither will your brother and you.

“Mom, it’s what we have to do. They killed Gyeongcheol,” says Chanhwan. He is a high school senior and his goal was to get into your university.

“His poor mother,” whispers your mother as if against herself. That was something she said every time this was mentioned. Soldiers in riot gear killed Kim Gyeongcheol as he was passing by protesters. It infuriated the city and their protest was gathering momentum, but every person counted.

They needed to pay. For Gyeongcheol and for those who were killed yesterday.

What you wouldn’t tell your mother is the fact that you got guns. Yesterday you raided one of the military warehouses. It wasn’t an usual protest anymore, it was an uprising. Chanhwan told you that he heard that folks were talking about liberating Gwangju and making it into a free city. An official request for help was being drafted to be sent to the US Embassy. A country so enamored with freedom would for sure help you.

Freedom.

That’s what you longed for.

A horn outside let you know that your transport was there. Chanhwan was already out the doors, you stalled a second to grab your mother’s hand.

“Believe in us, mom. We will be back, victorious,” you said with emphasis. The world was yours to take and you wouldn’t hesitate. You run outside, not waiting for her to answer, and jump into the waiting taxi.

What an odd vehicle to be driving to a fight.

*

City was cordoned off and outside communications were cut. It didn’t scare you off. Nothing could, really.

Taxi was slowly rolling down the street, Chanhwan laying low in the driver's seat. He knew that as soon as he raised his head, he’d be dead. You knew that there were forces on the other end of the street aiming at you with their guns, hidden behind covers.

You and Chanhwan’s friend Sunwoo were slowly creeping along the car, using it as a moving shield. You could see a body that you were tasked with retrieving. You hoped the girl was alive. You all knew that not moving after being shot increased your chances of surviving if you couldn’t move on your own.

Suddenly you heard a loud bang and sounds of automatic fire.

“Run!” yelled Chanhwan and you didn’t need to be told twice. With Sunwoo you lurched forward trying to match Chanhwan’s accelerations. You kept your head low as smoke filled the street. Sunwoo was the first to reach the body.

Dead.

Boy opened back doors and together you pushed the lifeless body inside – not caring for decency you jumped inside as Sunwoo closed doors behind you. You heard him get in and Chanhwan was speeding off.

Girl’s hair smelt of flowers.

*

A helicopter was flying overhead. You’ve never would have guessed that you’d learn how to make Molotov’s cocktail. But there you were pushing a rag into a bottle. Sunwoo was in the field hospital, chances of saving his leg quite high. Which was more than could be said about many of your friends.

Casualties were high, but you weren’t ready to give up. The uprising cost the city too many lives to be so easily abandoned.

How could your government do that? You didn’t know. But you hoped for those soldiers to spend the rest of their lives knowing that they killed their own.

Chanhwan was on the other side of the street, giving you signs. You focused on him and he started slowly counting down with his fingers. As soon as you saw him countdown to zero, you threw your bottle.

There was an explosion and a sudden yell. You didn’t stay put to see the effect, you needed to escape as fast as possible. On your left you could see a group of fifteen or so students running the other way. There were fires and smoke and it could be hard to realize what was happening.

You lost your footing as you realized that Chanhwan was not running parallel to you. It seemed like eternity as you looked back to see him lying on the corner of the street. You could see his dark uniform jacket slowly dampening with even darker liquid.

It wasn’t conscious. Nor your scream, nor your leap.

The first bullet going through your arm was more surprising than painful. Second one caught your leg, tripping you down, the third one pierced through your clavicle as you fell. You saw smoke, and soldiers moving forward with riot shields, and your brother laying on the street, and an abandoned taxi. You saw another group of students running somewhere to your right.

Pavement was hot from the sun as you fell down. It didn’t hurt, or maybe it was so painful that you couldn’t feel it.

You saw a blue butterfly flying away.

***

Kim Shin forced his way into the fighting city. Through fields and through the army, he walked into the fray. No one knew. A village ten kilometers away? No one knew what was happening in the city. There were rumors, but not one could have prepared him for the riots he saw.

He saw students organizing, he saw local militias forming, he saw field hospitals being erected, he saw taxi and bus drivers using their vehicles to help the cause.

Had he done everything he could? No. Was it resignation? Maybe.

How many times had he seen her fighting? Why every time he saw her she was either suffering or leading a good fight. Why was she always selfless, and always right in the center of a turmoil ailing his nation. Just once couldn’t she be selfish and live?

Seeing her protest against authoritarian government barely half a century after she did the same against occupation filled him with unfamiliar annoyance. Rage. Why her. What did she do to be always reincarnated into such circumstances.

Was it even worth pursuing her?

Was it his atonement for not killing his king eons ago, even when she sacrificed herself. Was she destined to be laying her life for a cause while he watched her do it?

Defiance. That was what stopped him from acting. He could have gone on a rampage. Just like when he was a general, fighting with Gaya’s warriors. It wouldn’t have been hard, decimating troops. Those already stationed in the city, and those that would undoubtedly come to reinforce them.

He felt old. He was old. Looking at the fighting city he felt like it wasn’t his fight.

In the city he saw a foreigner. A foreigner with a camera. Documenting what was happening, what atrocities were committed on Gwangju’s streets.

Instead of watching her die once again he decided to protect the foreigner. To make sure that his recordings would be seen by the world.

As Kim Shin protected the foreigner, he didn’t realize that he could no longer hear prayers.

[beskarhearts]

Where You Belong (Din Djarin x reader)

Connection series Pt. 7

Pairing: Din Djarin x reader (no use of Y/N)

Warnings: cursing, nightmares, loss, anxiety, angst (and lots of fluff)

Word count: over 7.5K

Summary: Din takes you on a picnic but also realizes he had forgotten to tell you something very important.

Notes: This chapter... it was an experience to write it. I am really interested to see your reaction to it and I hope you love it! I was also wondering from any other fanfic writers and from you readers: what do you think is the best time to post new chapters?

Previous Part ____ Next Part

______________________________________________________

You walked into your grandmother’s room to find her pacing around frantically. You instantly recognized the expression on her face. She was pissed. Absolutely livid. Her face was all scrunched up, her eyebrows bunched together, and she was biting her lip raw. She didn’t even notice you in the doorway, clearly too busy being consumed in her thoughts. “Who put you in this great of a mood, Gram?” you joked, half expecting her to go off on a tangent about your mother. The two of them had been at each others throats lately, especially ever since you accidentally revealed to your mom that your grandma had been training you.

Her train of thought broke and she jumped at the sound of your voice, clearly not expecting any visitors. She turned to look at you, her eyes warming up a little bit at the sight of you but you could still feel the upset radiating off her body. You both were similar in that way: you both felt deeply. “Damn Mandalorians.”

It was now your turn to scrunch up your eyebrows, giving her a quizzical expression at her answer. You had heard of Mandalorians and knew they were armored bounty hunters. But your knowledge didn’t really surpass that.  “Mandalorians?”

She scoffed, as if the question was so stupid, and shook her head. “Yes. I ran into one on my way home from town and,” she bit her lip, trying to find something to say besides just a string of curse words “They are ignorant and awful people.”

The statement shocked you. Gram was a strong, hard-headed woman who wasn’t ever afraid to tell the truth. But she wasn’t biased. She was accepting of all people, creatures, animals, and even droids. It was just part of her, to accept people as they were and not judge them based off what they looked like or their beliefs. “Woah. What is so wrong with Mandalorians?”

You knew it wasn’t because of their job. You lived on Jakku your whole life and had seen everything, from scavengers to bounty hunters to even worse. It was part of everyday life here and never appeared to bother her. “They hate us. Because of who we are.”

“What?”

“Mandalorians and Jedis do not get along. They are enemies.”

She finally sat down on her bed, strumming her fingers against her thighs. She was still frustrated but seeming to calm down. You sat next to her, looking over at her. “Why?”

“There was a Mandalorian-Jedi War that happened on their planet, the planet of Mandalore.”‘

“Mandalorians have their own planet?”

“Not anymore. In the war, the Jedi’s won but they destroyed Mandalore. It’s practically inhospitable.”

Your face softened. That sounded horrible. You couldn’t imagine your home planet just being destroyed into absolute nothingness. Your Gram noticed your expression and shook her head. “You are too kind. You can’t empathize with the Mandalorians.”

“Their whole entire planet got destroyed. That seems... extreme.”

The woman stood up, now facing you with a fierceness in her eyes and her finger pointed at you. “The only reason that war happened is because the Mandalorians hated us. They didn’t understand our powers and instead of leaving us alone, they created weapons and armor to destroy us.”

“Okay. But that was in the past.”

“It doesn’t matter. That hatred is still there.” She bent down so she could be eye level. “Listen to me closely. If you ever meet an Mandalorian, do not trust them or befriend them. Because as soon as they learn what you are, they will hate you and probably want to kill you. Mandalorians are brutish people with no compassion. They might as well be damn droids. Do you understand?”

You had never heard your grandmother speak about anyone like this and it shocked you to the core. You questioned whether or not this was just some old beef she was still holding onto, or whether this was reality. Either way, you nodded your head slowly, not wanting to upset her further. “Okay. I won’t.”

_________________________________

“Din, this is taking forever.”

“Sweet one, you are being very impatient.”

“I just don’t like my vision being restricted.”

“I am leading you to something you will like.”

“Can’t I just close my eyes on my own and you can take your big man hands away from my eyes?”

“No. Because you will look.”

You huff at his response, crossing your arms as Din continued leading you towards this secret destination. It was true - you probably would try to sneak a peak - but you just wanted his hand off your face because it was making you uneasy. One hand was still gloved but the other wasn’t and that was the one covering your eyes. His whole hand was so large, covering a ridiculously large portion of your face, and they were warm. You could feel yourself flush from the skin to skin contact.  “Well, are we close at least?”

“Yes.” 

Din had told you that you guys were landing on a random planet and he had a surprise for you. He had locked you in the ship, telling you not look out the windows of the cockpit, and gone outside for what felt like forever. Then once he finally came back, he insisted you couldn’t look until you were at the surprise. But that had felt like forever ago and you two had just been walking on and on. You tried to pay attention to your surroundings as much as you could, gathering clues as to where you were and what you were doing. You knew their was grass because it was brushing against your ankles with each step you took towards your destination. It was also moist, meaning you were probably on a planet where it rained. Every once and a while, you would heard a loud squawk ring out, meaning there were animals of some type around. But otherwise, all you heard was the rustling of the breeze against the grass and what you believed to be trees. You didn’t hear any other voices or sounds for miles, meaning you were most likely completely alone.You could feel the sun on your skin, spreading warmth throughout your body. It sounded weird but you could smell the nature. You could smell the grass and the wind and something sweet - maybe a fruit or flower of some sort.

You continued walking until your foot tumbled into something hard, causing you to spring forward and Din held you up so you didn’t fall. “See? This is a safety hazard. I could of died just now.”

Din let out a scoff and he was so close that it felt like you could feel the modulator reverberate through you. “I’m holding on to you. You weren’t going to die.”

“That’s what you think. But just wait. A rock is going to take me out and then you will be sorry.” 

Din finally stopped, your body once again lurching against him in the sudden  change. His hand still covered your eyes, fingers pressed tightly together so you couldn’t peak through. “Are you going to keep blabbering or do you want to see what it is?”

You smiled big, finally satisfied that you had stopped walking. “We are finally done walking?”

“You whine a lot for a person being surprised.”

You let out a laugh at the insult. “And you are very bossy for a man being the surpriser.” 

Another exasperated sigh. “Maybe we should head back to the Crest.”

“Oh, shut up and take your hands off me.” Din’s hand finally dropped from your face and it took you a second to adjust to the surroundings. It was bright, the sun shining above you two. You blinked a few times, finally adjusting to the change when you let out a small gasp. 

You were stood in the middle of a field full of hundreds of flowers. They were of all kinds, some short and some tall. Some were large and some were small. They came in every color you could ever imagine and you swore you had never seen something so beautiful. You had never lived in a place that wasn’t mostly barren and almost monochromatic. You knew there were planets with flowers and colors and vibrancy, but you never could of imagined that it could be this gorgeous. You took a deep breath in, smelling the divine sweetness of all the plants surrounding you. A small laugh escaped your lips at the wonder of it. This seemed like a place totally unscathed by the word. It hadn’t been touched by the evil and corruptness of this galaxy and there was an inherent pureness to it. 

You heard a shuffle through the flowers and looked down to find the kid, grabbing at flowers with a big smile. You knew what was coming before it even happened as he grabbed a handful of petals and shoved it into his mouth. You giggled as Din bent over, scolding him about not eating everything he saw.

You turned back to look at everything when your eyes landed on a blanket in the middle of the field, laid out perfectly. It was one of the blankets you had bought at the marketplace, it’s beautiful array of colors nearly blending in with the flowers. Neatly arranged on the blanket was a variety of food and a container of drink. You felt the biggest smile crawl onto your face as you realized what it was. “Din Djarin, did you set up a picnic?”

You turned around, seeing him standing there in the field with the kid held in his arms. The sight of it took your breath away. The sun reflected off Din’s armor, making him stand out and shine. The contrast between the silver of the metal and the flowers around him was stunning. The kid was held in his arm, trying to get away with a big toothy grin on his face, a petal in the corner of his mouth as his ears flopped gently in the breeze. You were taken aback by how beautiful your family was and how much joy a single moment like this could make you feel. You felt in that moment like this is where you belonged. Wherever Din was was where you knew you were meant to be.

“Yeah. I guess I did.” Din said, shrugging his shoulders as if this wasn’t the one of the nicest things anybody had ever done with you. You found yourself wanting to run towards him and hug him, feel him hold you in his arms, with your kid between you guys letting out little giggles. “I thought this would be okay. A nice stop.”

“Okay?” You shook your head at Din. “Din, this is... breathtaking. I have never seen anything like this.”

Din stepped towards you, his helmet leaning down as you made eye contact with his visor. “I’m glad. You deserve something like this.”

You shyly smiled at his words, cursing yourself for feeling your face heat up. “So do you, Din.” 

_________________________________

You had now spent hours out here, sitting in this field with Din while just talking and playing with the kid, who had somehow successfully caught (and eaten) three butterflies. The sun was setting and the temperature was dropping slightly, although it was a pleasant, welcoming coolness after a day in the sun. You had eaten food and it was all delicious. Succulent, juicy fruits and bread that had been warmed by the sun. Now the child was asleep and back in his hover pram, the cover on completely in order to block any light from bothering him. 

You turned to look over at Din, who had sat with you the whole time, and suddenly felt incredibly rude. “Din, you didn’t eat anything.”

Din shrugged his shoulders. You knew he probably hadn’t even noticed. When you first joined him, you noticed that he could go hours without eating. It was very inconvenient for him to eat, especially when there were people around. And you understood that but you swore the man could go literal days without consuming anything and he wouldn’t even think twice about it. You eventually started forcing him to eat, leaving him alone in the hull of the ship while you and the kid sat in the cockpit, that way he could eat alone and properly enjoy a meal. “I’m fine.” 

You shook your head and started pushing the food in front of him. “No, come on. You need to eat.” You looked all around, surveying the area for any people. You hadn’t seen a single soul today and Din told you there were no inhabitants on the planet, which you found shocking. “How about I take the kid back to the Crest and you can eat out here? Enjoy the fresh air.”

You started rising from your place on the ground when Din grabbed at your arm, pulling you down. “No. Don’t go.”

You smiled at the tone of his voice. “It’s fine.”

“Wait,” You paused again, looking back at Din to see his helmet looking right at you. “I trust you.”

You scrunched up your eyebrows, not exactly sure how that pertained to the discussion but you still felt warmth pool in your chest. “I’m very glad you trust me but I don’t know what that has to do with you eating.”

“I have an idea.”

You quirked an eyebrow, tilting your head at him. “What?”

“Just sit right there, okay?” 

You nodded slowly, dropping yourself back down next to him. You watched as Din’s hand left your wrist and he brought them up to his neck, pulling at the bunch of fabric wrapped around it. “Din, what are you doing?”

The fabric pooled away from his neck and you tried your best to tear your eyes away from the skin but found it hard to. His skin was tan, surprising to you since he always wore the armor, but it looked warm and inviting. “Just let me do something.”

Din scooted closer to you, taking the scarf in his hands and folding it over before bringing it up to your face. You leaned back a little until he pulled the fabric over your eyes and you realized what he was doing. You felt him tug at the back of your head, securely tying the fabric in place. “Can you see anything?”

You turned your head in the direction the voice was coming from. It was pitch black and you wouldn’t be able to see a thing unless you tore the fabric away. “No. Completely dark.”

“You okay like that?”

You smiled softly at his question. You appreciated how he always checked in on you, to make sure you were okay. Even if it inconvenienced his comfortability. “Yes. I’m very comfortable with blindfolds.” You meant it as a joke but felt yourself cringe at the words that spilled from your mouth. “That sounded way worse than I meant it.”

You heard Din snort, a sound that wiped away any embarrassment you felt. “Okay. I’m going to take it off. Just don’t take the scarf away from your eyes.”

“I won’t.”

A click rung out, followed by a long hiss, and it suddenly hit you. Din was taking his helmet off. You knew he did that before. He surely didn’t shower or sleep with it on. But when he was doing those things, you weren’t sat right next to him. You didn’t have the power to look, not that you ever would put him in that situation. You found yourself wondering if he had ever done this before with anyone else. 

You heard some shuffling and a plop on the blanket, probably him placing his helmet right next to him. You listened closely for the next sound to signal what was happening when you heard him take what sounded like a bite, that was followed by a hum. You smiled, glad that Din was able to enjoy the meal and not just scarf it down as fast as possible like he always did. “This fruit is good.”

Maker. You felt like your whole entire body just melted. It hadn’t even crossed your mind that since Din’s helmet was off, you would hear his voice. Like his actual voice. Nothing modulated or tainted by a helmet. Just him. And it was the best sound you had ever heard. His voice was still kind of raspy like it was in the helmet, but softer and so much warmer. It reminded you of the sun and the happiness it brought you. And it was a weird thing to think, but you thought that his voice sounded like how brown eyes look. At least how you think his eyes looked. You suddenly cursed his damn helmet for blocking out his sweet voice and couldn’t believe this was your first time hearing it, unfiltered and just so uniquely Din. 

“Y-yeah.” You mumbled out, still being so affected by hearing his voice. 

“Are you okay?” You smiled brightly at his question. You swear you could listen to him talk all day. The man could never shut up and you would be perfectly content. You found yourself plotting ways to get him to take off the helmet so you could hear it more often, not caring that you had to wear a blindfold in order to hear it.

“Yeah. Why?”

“You are just... smiling.”

You probably looked like a raging lunatic, a blindfold over your eyes and the biggest smile on your face as Din just sat there and ate. “I’ve never heard your voice before. At least not without the helmet.”

“Oh.”

“You’ve got a great voice.” 

“I have a great voice?” Genuine confusion could be heard and you let out a little chuckle at it.

“Yes. It’s nice. Comforting.” You spared him anymore details, probably already making a fool of yourself and not wanting to embarrass him further by droning on about his voice, because you knew you could do it.

“I’ve never had anyone tell me that. Though I can’t really think of anyone whose heard my voice before.”

“Well, I feel honored.” You laid back against the blanket, not being able to see it, but facing the sky. You brought your hands to behind your head, leaning back on them. “Talk more.”

A small noise, perhaps a clearing of the throat, could be heard in response to that. “About what?”

You paused a moment, thinking before coming to an answer. “Teach me some Mando’a.” You loved hearing Din speak Mando’a. It was a part of his life he was able to share with others and you imagined hearing him speak it without the helmet on was even better.

“Okay. Let me think.” Din paused and you heard him take another bite. You imagined him, fully clad in his armor with his head poking out. You had a hard time imagining his face but you still had a few ideas. He probably had brown hair that matched eyes. He didn’t seem like a guy with light hair or really, really dark hair. He probably had a nice, strong chin that matched his personality. “Mesh’la.”

You repeated the word, nodding when he hummed to indicate you pronounced it properly. “What does that mean?”

“Beautiful.”

You smiled. That seemed like a perfect word to describe this moment. “Good word for this place.”

“Yeah.”

“What else?”

“Aliit. That means family.”

You smiled again. “Aliit. I like that word. Keep going.”

“Cabur.” 

“And that means?”

“Protector.” 

“Very fitting for you.”

“You think so?” His voice was softer this time and you could sense a feeling of either pride or perhaps gratefulness. It made your heart soften. You knew how seriously he took protecting you guys, and cabur seemed like the perfect title for him. 

You nodded quickly. “Of course, Din. Tell me more.”

“So needy.” You heard him laugh and Maker, it was even better than his voice. Even warmer and brighter. 

“Shut up and keep talking.” You teased, one of the corners of your lips quirking upwards.

“Mir’sheb.”

“Ooh, let me guess. Something sweet and nice.”

“Smart ass.”

You let out a loud laugh at that one, sitting upright again, getting closer to Din and hearing his laugh echo out once again into the field. His laugh was all-consuming and like that first breath of fresh air after going so long without it. “What does shit head mean? That way I can have a new, special nick name for you.”

Din let out another laugh at the joke. “I don’t know about shit head but shit is osik.”

“I like that word.”

“Of course you do.” 

You both chuckle and you hear him eat some more food. “One more word.”

You heard him hum, pausing for a few moments. “Murcyur.”

“What does that one mean?”

“Kiss.” 

You froze completely. Why the hell would Din say something like that? Because now all you can think about is kissing Din and the mere thought of it is giving you heart palpitations and you feel like you might just explode. His lips are just out, exposed. Probably very kissable. They are probably like his hands - rough but also soft. The kind of lips that are masculine but gentle, not over aggressive. 

Shit. This is not okay. You can’t be thinking about kissing Din. Because this is just a rabbit hole and one second you are thinking about kissing Din and the next you are wanting to marry the man. And you don’t live the kind of life where you can just think things like this.

Then you realized you couldn’t see Din and what if he was going to do something. Something like kiss you. You’re pretty sure that if he did that, you’d fucking pass out and you can’t have that happen. You let out an awkward chuckle, not even sure why you were laughing but not able to stop it. “Good to know, buster.”

Where the fuck did buster come from? You are pretty sure you have never, ever said that word your whole entire life. And you are certain that is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. Out of all the dumb shit to leave your mouth, that took the cake. Change the topic, dumb ass. “Can I ask you a question?”

You didn’t even have a fucking question planned. What were you doing? You heard Din say, “Yeah.” and your mind blanked. 

Any question. A single question. “What happens if someone sees your face?” 

Great, now he probably just thinks that is all you care about. “What do you mean?”

“Like, what if you are in the refresher and I accidentally walk in on you? Do you have to kill me?”

“Do you often think about walking in on me when I’m in the refresher?” Din said the words plainly, like he was asking an innocent question, but you swore you could hear the grin on his face.

You scoffed theatrically, hoping you weren’t showing just how flustered you were. “No. I was just inquiring.”

Din hummed, still teasing you, and you suddenly wanted him to shut up very badly. He was getting too cocky. “Well, one of two things happen if someone sees me. First option is I kill them.”

“Well then I will definitely never walk in on you in the shower.” You paused. “N-not that I wanted to.”

“Well, I wouldn’t kill you anyways. I never could.”

“What then? Drop me off on a planet?”

Din scoffed like you had suggested the most ridiculous thing in the world. “I would never abandon you. Ever.”

“Well then, what is this second option?” Din is suddenly silent and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he simply disappeared. “Hello?”

“Well, you either kill them or... ummm-” You hear him fumble with his words and normally you’d find it adorable (especially without the helmet) but now it is just making you nervous.

“Or..?”

“Marry them.”

Now that caused you to take a sharp intake of air in and then start choking like a damn idiot. You swore that the galaxy had it out for you in that moment because this was all way too much for you to handle. Din and you in a field of the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen, talking about kissing and marrying and hearing his voice... It was like you were overdosing. 

Then you were hit with the realization of what Din truly said. If Din wouldn’t kill you or ditch you if you ever accidentally saw him... shit. “Huh... neat.” You muttered, finally trying to collect yourself.

“You okay?”

“Oh, yeah.” Make a joke or something. “You just better hope I never accidentally see that face of yours because you don’t want to be stuck with me as your riddur.”

“How do you know that word?”

“What word?”

“Riddur.”

Oh shit. You hadn’t even thought of the fact that the woman at the stand had taught you that word and not Din. “You must have said it before.”

“I’ve never said that word before.”

“Oh, yes. It must of been from my secret Mando’a tutor then.” You smirked, hoping Din shrugged it off and luckily he didn’t say anything else.

“Let me put my helmet back on.”

“You don’t have to. I’m fine.”

“No. It’s getting dark and I’ve had it off long enough.” You heard some movement and then a click that you registered as Din’s helmet being put back on. You then heard him shuffle towards you, his fingers untying the knot and the scarf dropping from your eyes. You blinked a few times and realized it was getting pretty dark, the sun just barely skirting the horizon. You turned, seeing Din besides you, putting the scarf back around his neck. 

You gave him a small smile. “This was nice.”

“Yeah. It was.” He gave you a small nod before starting to stand. “We should start heading back to the Crest.”

“Yeah.”

_________________________________

Your nightmares happen way less often but now when they occur, it’s worse than before.

It is always the same thing. Your home, the very place you had been born in all those years ago, was up in flames, illuminating the night sky in a way that caused your stomach to twist up. The wounds on your back and arms were fresh, stinging so much with every movement that it felt like you would bunch over and hurl from it. You keep stumbling and that’s when you find them. Your parents, laid on the ground like rag-dolls. Like they were meaningless. And every time you see them, you let out a wail so loud it seems to consume every part of your being, until you are nothing but the very pain you feel.

That is usually how it would end. But now it wouldn’t just be your parents. Din would be there, in his beskar armor, laid out on the ground. And you couldn’t see his face but every fiber of your being knew he was gone and it was your fault. You would feel your stomach absolutely drop and this terrifying dread fill every part of your body, consuming you until you felt like you’d collapse. And even when you eventually woke up, sweat covering your body and your hands shaking, that feeling would still be there, eating you up raw.

Tonight was no exception. You woke up in the middle of the night, hyperventilating with such an overwhelming sense of guilt washing over you, almost drowning you in it. You brought your shaky hands up to your face, wiping away at the tears streaming down it. Nights like these were tough. You’d lay there on your cot, staring up at the ceiling and fighting sleep. Because you couldn’t fall asleep and see it again. The images were already burned into your mind and that was bad enough. Experiencing it again was a hell you couldn’t endure multiple times, especially not in the same night.

You sit up, planting your hands on your knees and taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. The Crest was completely silent, until you heard a small sound from the cockpit. You looked over to where Din slept, finding the door closed which meant he should of been asleep. You reach for the blaster you’ve kept hidden under your pillow, your fingers reaching around it and pulling it in front of you. Your hands were still shaking slightly but you held the blaster confidently in front of you, rising from the cot and slowly letting yourself step towards the noise coming from the cockpit, tip toeing silently towards the ladder leading to the small space. You keep one hand of the blaster, using the other to slowly make your way up. You pop your head up, blaster coming up with you, and exhale when you see it’s just Din in his seat, polishing some armor. 

“Din, what are you doing?” You quietly hiss, pulling your whole body up and into the cockpit, putting the blaster down and sitting down in the passengers seat.

Din looked up at you, his helmet moving from his armor to your face. He was in his pajamas still, long sleeve shirt and long pants covering most of his skin. “Did I wake you?”

“No. I,” You trail off, not wanting to bother Din with your nightmare. You would rather ignore it and just talk with him. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“You were just knocked out when I came up here.”

“Oh, so you watch me sleep now?” You raise an eyebrow teasingly, already feeling more at ease. 

“Yeah. The drool really does something for me.”

You gasp at Din’s quip, your mouth slightly widened in shock. “I do not drool.”

“Okay, sweet one.” Din sarcastically said, his helmet rolling back down to the armor in his lap.

You roll your eyes, scoffing slightly to which you hear Din chuckle. “Why are you polishing your armor in the middle of the night?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just... thinking.”

You lean against one of the chair’s arms, tucking some hair behind your ears. “What were you thinking about?”

Din let out a small sigh and you furrowed your brows. Something was going on. He placed his armor on the floor besides him, looking back up to you. “What do you want from life?”

You tilted your head back, a little shocked by Din’s question. “What do you mean?”

“When you imagine your life in the future, what do you want?”

That was a heavy question. Once, long before the worlds cruel hands had twisted your life, you had hoped for a rather normal future. You could of seen yourself working on Jakku, taking over your father’s business. Maybe even settling down one day and having a kid or two. It was very domestic and probably boring, but it was calm and docile. So wildly different from the life you had been given so far.

But now life was so different. For the longest time, you didn’t think about your future. You just focused on getting through the day. Life was hard enough and plaguing yourself with thoughts of what could of been felt like a cruel joke. Now it was different, though. You found yourself hoping, yearning for some kind of future. And in every version of it, you found yourself incorporating Din somehow. Today you had done that very thing. Laying in that field with Din and the kid, no worries or concerns, made you think. It would be nice to live on a planet like this, where you didn’t have to worry about anybody or anything. Just you, the kid, and Din. 

But that kind of thought was embarrassing to admit out loud. Because while you could confidently say that you and Din were friends, in the end you had been hired to take care of the ship and the kid. And you guys never put a timeline on you job, but you knew it would come to an end one day. Whether that was cause the kid was older or Din didn’t need you anymore or maybe Din found something else, something you didn’t fit into.

“I don’t really know. One day I want to just... settle down, I guess. Not always be so worried.” You shrugged at your answer. It was true, but you let out a lot. “What about you?”

“I never really thought about it before. But now... with the kid and you, it’s hard not to.”

You quirked your head at the answer. You knew the kid had to be part of the reason why Din was thinking about this, but he also mentioned you. Did that mean that in his future he saw you? Or was he just thinking of how one day you’d be gone? “What do you mean?”

“I just want to do right by you guys. You two deserve to be happy and safe.”

“We are happy and safe.”

“This isn’t the life you two deserve. You deserve normalcy and-”

“Din, stop.” You saw the man lean back against his chair, exasperated. “You have changed my life for the better. And the kids. We were both in such dark places before you came along. So don’t belittle what you’ve done for us.”

“Yeah. But I can’t even get the kid to where he belongs.”

You pause at that. To where he belongs? What the kriff did that mean? He belonged with Din, his father, and you. He was safe here. “What?”

Din turned his helmet towards you and let out a loud sigh. “Dank farrik.” 

You looked up at him as he rose from his seat, putting his hands on his helmet like he was cradling his head. “What is it, Din?”

Din let his hands drop, looking over at you. “I haven’t told you something.”

Your heart stopped. This wasn’t good, at all. You could sense it in Din’s demeanor and his tone. “What is going on?”

“The kid... doesn’t belong with me. His powers are too much for me. I can’t help him. He needs someone who knows how to train him.” You knew where this was going before Din even finishes and you feel your stomach drop. “I was quested to find a Jedi who can take him in.”

You felt like you were going to throw up, your head dropping to look down into your lap. You couldn’t look at Din right now. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Your voice was shaking, tears pricking at your eyes. 

“I got lost in this, in you. It’s been so nice, like life is normal.” You knew exactly what he was talking about because you had felt it almost every day. And you should of known it was too good to be true. “I’m sorry, cyar’ika.” 

You felt his hands try to reach out for you and you pushed them away, finally looking up at him and feeling tears rush down. “Don’t.” You stood from your seat. “Don’t cyar’ika me. You should have told me.”

He should of. He knew how much you had lost. He knew your family had been ripped away from you and how hard it was for you to move on. And then he gave you a family. The kid and him were your new family. And you had dumbly let yourself fantasize about the future of your family. Of raising the kid with Din and maybe one day your relationship with Din would move further. You had let yourself do that, all without knowing that this family would be taken away from you too. And you were supposed to let it happen.

What Din was saying made sense. You knew the kid was powerful. You could feel it before you were made witness to his abilities. You knew it was why people wanted him, so they could exploit it. You thought that was the extent of it though. You didn’t think about how the kid would need training. You had let yourself get too caught up in your feelings and in your love for him to see past it, towards the kids future. 

“I know.”

“You kept that from me. You let me join you guys without warning me. You gave me a family... a family that’s got an expiration date on it.”

“What?”

“I have lost all my family, Din. I can’t do that again. You’ll find a Jedi and then the kid will be gone. And then I’ll be gone.”

“What are you talking about?”

You threw your hands up. “Din, the only reason I’m here is because the kid. Hell, the kid is the only reason you brought me on. Without him, you would of left me because you didn’t want me.” You feel your voice crack with the last sentence. You were distraught and angry and these emotions were wrecking havoc on you.

“That’s not true. All I want is-”

“No, it is.” You interrupted. “If the kid hadn’t liked me and wanted me to come, I wouldn’t have. Which means as soon as he is gone, my job here is done and I’m gone.” 

A silence fell over the cockpit, a tension so palpable that you swore you could cut into it. You hated this. You hated what you were feeling and you hated arguing with Din and you hated that you knew you were going to lose him. Part of you wished you were still naive, that you could of been allowed to think your silly little thoughts about family.

“I don’t want you to go. Please.”

You winced at the way Din spoke. It was raw and you swore you could feel the pain. But you just turned away. “I can’t do this again.”

“I lost my family too. I understand this.”

And maybe that was true. But you don’t think he would ever understand the guilt settling into the pit of your stomach. The kid needed a Jedi, someone who understood the Force and could train him. He needed a master, someone so exceptional because the kid’s connection with the Force was strong, making his powers even stronger. 

You were once trained. Your grandmother had shown you how to use the Force, how to be one with it and allow it to flow within you. But that night, when you had lost your family and used your abilities to kill... it wasn’t the same. You no longer felt a healthy respect for the Force and felt wonder at the way you were able to use it. All you felt was fear of what you could become. So you abandoned it, tried your best to forget all of your training and vowed to never use it. A vow you had now kept for years. Now all your training might as well had been reversed. Even if you wanted to use it, you couldn’t train the kid. It took years for your grandmother to train you and in order to even begin to think about training the kid, you would need to retrain yourself, which you didn’t even think was possible. And even it was possible, the child was too powerful for you. You’d never be able to help him like a true Jedi Master would be able to.

And you felt at fault for that. If you were a better Jedi, a better teacher, a better person, you’d be able to do it. And you’d be able to keep the kid with you and Din. You wouldn’t have to hand him off to someone you didn’t know.

“You don’t understand.” You croaked out, wiping away all the tears. 

“Then tell me what I don’t understand.”

You remembered your mother’s words. Her preaching to you over and over again to never tell anyone what you were. You remembered your Grandmother ranting about the distain between Jedis and Mandalorians and how if a Mandalorian learned what you were, they’d hate you. And you could of seen Din looking past that, not being biased. But now if he learned what you were and how you couldn’t train the child and keep his kid with him, he’d hate you. And you wouldn’t blame him. So you couldn’t ever tell Din, could never reveal that part of yourself to him. You’d have to keep it hidden like you’d done your whole life.

“I need to be alone.” You turned to the ladder, slipping down it without giving Din a chance to stop you. You marched over to where the kid slept, opening the door and finding him peacefully asleep, huddled with a blanket in his hammock. He was blissfully unaware of the way you were failing him and of the turmoil going on in your mind. You felt more tears fall down, your hand reaching out to grab his little hand.

You had gotten too close to him and Din. But you knew if you stayed, you’d only get closer. The child needed help. And Din was so intoxicating. You couldn’t distance yourself from either of them.

Unless you left.

_________________________________

Din found her sitting in the same field of flowers from yesterday, hugging her knees to her chest and staring into the sunrise. It was early morning and there was a crispness to the cool morning air. Even with the helmet on, Din could smell the sweetness of the flora. If the situation were different, Din would love to sit out here with her like they had done last night. But things were hard right now.

He hadn’t slept at all. He had just sat in the cockpit, staring out the window and reflecting on just how badly he had messed up. He knew he messed up, really bad. He knew it when he realized he had never told her about his quest. But he didn’t think he truly understood just how much it would have impacted her until she looked at him with those eyes. They were so full of hurt and betrayal, and Din hated that he was the one to cause it. That was when Din realized how much deeper this went for her. And he knew there was something she hadn’t told him. Something that was eating away at her, at his cyar’ika. And he wanted to know what it was so badly, but he also wanted to respect her boundaries like she had done for him time and time again.

Din stepped towards her, lowering himself down to sit besides her. She didn’t turn to look at him, her steady gaze remaining on the array of colors illuminating the sky as the sun rose. 

“I’m sorry.” Din’s heart broke at the apology she whispered, her voice cracking slightly. She had nothing to be sorry about. Everything that had happened was his fault. He should of told her about the kid as soon as he agreed to let her on and especially once they started getting so close. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Din sighed, laying his hands down on each side of his body, clutching onto the ground like it was an anchor. “I should of told you.”

She nodded her head, finally looking over at him. He could see the fatigue on her face but in this light, she still looked so beautiful. It shocked Din how someone could so consistently take his breath away. “I understand it is hard for you too.”

That was definitely true. Din hadn’t had a family in so long. And now that he did, he was so scared of losing it but it also felt like a definitive. The kid had to be trained and it tore away at Din, but he couldn’t do it. The child needed someone who knew how to help him and Din knew it should be sooner rather than later. Perhaps that was why he never referred to the kid as his son and always kept this small barrier up. Because Din knew if he fully let the kid into his heart, he would break once he had to let him go. And perhaps that was the pain every parent had to endure but he couldn’t accept it. He had already lost too much.

And her words still echoed in his mind. Which means as soon as he is gone, my job here is done and I’m gone. Is that what she wanted? Or did she truly not realize how much he cared for her? Because Din heard that and felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. Unlike the child, Din allowed himself to get closer to her than any other person in the galaxy. Perhaps it was naive, but he thought once the kid was gone, he would still have her. That she would want to stay with him. That she would be by his side in whatever came next. “Sweet one.”

She closed her eyes for a minute at the nickname and Din brought a gloved hand up to her face, just barely brushing her cheek but he felt her lean into it. He wanted to touch her, to hold her and tell her just how much he cared for her. “Please don’t leave me.” His voice cracked and he felt himself choke up as she opened her eyes, looking straight at him. “I can’t lose you, cyar’ika.”

Her eyes softened and she nodded slowly. “I don’t want to go.”

“Then don’t. Even when the child is gone... you can stay. I want you to stay.” 

“Yeah?”

Din’s heart clench at her need for reassurance. He hadn’t even realized how reliant he was on her until the thought of her leaving scared him to death. He swore he needed her more than he needed air. “Yes.”

She reached her hand up, holding onto the one that touched her face. Din brought it away from her, feeling her twist her fingers within his. “Okay.”

Din let out a deep breathe, feeling whole again as she leaned her forehead against his helmet. She closed her eyes and Din brought his other hand to hers, linking his fingers with hers so both of his hands were full. This is where he belonged: with her. Wherever she was was his home. 

He felt the words on the tip of his tongue. But those three words had the power to change so much and he had already felt like he was so close to losing her. He couldn’t risk it.

Perhaps another time, he could tell her how much he loved her.

Tag List: @ilikethoseodds @dindaddy​ @poguesvixen @starspangledwidow​ @fangirlalexia​

[alwaysbeliev]

I Can’t Lose You

Happy Valentine’s Day! This is for the @rdr-secret-cupid adventure this year. Thank you for the prompt, @bloodylove3 and I hope you enjoy!

summary: When Dutch asks you and Arthur to pretend you're married for a job, you're nervous that you won't be able to hide your feelings for the outlaw. You manage to keep it in line, but things go wrong fast.

relationship: Arthur Morgan x F!Reader

word count: 3497

link on AO3

“Alright, here’s where we’ll start.”

It was mid-afternoon. The heat from the sun above was overwhelming, burning whatever it touched. Not even the shade was a relief with its cover. Animals all around were burrowed underground, hiding inside of trees, splashing around in the cool river nearby, and doing their best to stay out of direct light. You idly watched a small mouse scurry through the grass, digging at the dirt every now and then before disappearing into a hole. Quietly, you wished you were that mouse. 

For the hundredth time, Dutch was reviewing his next grand plan. There was a tipoff about a decent score, something that would help the gang move to a new camp, and it would be almost easy to pull off. Almost. But he was careful to plan, detailed to a fault, and now you had to sit through another lecture about making sure you were in the right place at the right time. He stood just inside the flap of his tent as he talked. The others were in a loose circle around him and Hosea.

You felt a drop of sweat slide down the back of your neck. What you wouldn’t give to go jump in the rushing water just a hundred feet away, even fully clothed. Imagining the relief alone made you sweat more. You could feel your skin throb, your cheeks turning red, your shirt sticking to your lower back…

“Hey!”

The sharp sound of Dutch’s voice cut through your daydream, snapping you back to reality. Others were snickering as you jerked your head over and tried to pretend you had been listening.

“As I was saying,” the man continued, “there has been a small change of plan.” 

Whoa, Dutch was changing his plan? But the score was just a week away now.

He carried on, “Arthur will be playing the part of your protective, but quiet, husband. You will need to cause a big enough distraction that we can enter without tipping anyone off. Can you handle that?”

“I thought Hosea was providing the distraction?” Your mind was turning, scrambling to remember if that was the original plan or if you were suffering from heat stroke.

“As I had said before, Hosea will be needed outside. It would seem awfully suspicious to outsiders if 5 men all seemed to suddenly rush inside together, don’t you think?”

You supposed he had a point. Outwardly, you agreed with him, but inwardly, your heart was pounding. Arthur? Husband? You barely made it through the rest of the session, managing to excuse yourself as soon as Dutch was done talking. Never before had you felt the palpitations on your chest that you did now at the thought of being with Arthur Morgan. Not just being with him, but pretending to be married. 

To say that you had a crush on Arthur was putting it lightly. From the moment you had met the outlaw, the sight of him caused your heart to race faster than his beautiful horse. You could barely speak around him, let alone carry on any conversation, and you were certain everyone in camp knew about it. Karen, Mary-Beth, and Tilly had approached you just last week to tease you about the way you fumbled over your words when Arthur asked a question. Now you had to pretend to be married?

The group dispersed as Dutch finished his grand lecture, chattering excitedly about the huge score. You felt light-headed and were rooted to the spot. Dutch was right, it should be easy, you had played the actor’s role many times before, but this… This wouldn’t be acting. And surely someone was going to notice that.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

A week passed quicker than any week you’d been through before. You and Arthur had prepared a scene, practicing to get it right, and you were feeling slightly more confident. The cowboy still gave you flutters in your heart, but rehearsed lines were much easier than improvised ones, and you were positive he hadn’t seen the longing in your eyes. It was easy.

But what wasn’t easy was how inseparable the two of you were becoming. Every morning, Arthur approached you near the campfire, offering a small treat, typically a piece of chocolate or a small fruit. The first time, your cheeks had flushed hotter than the summer sun. It hadn’t improved much. You would review your plan for the score, pause for a lunch time meal, and continue in the afternoon. Arthur often seemed to have other ideas, wanting a change of scenery, and you would find yourselves a few miles from camp on some rocky outlook or on a river’s shore, just shooting the breeze while the sun seared high above. Arthur even managed to convince you to leave your horse once, riding behind him with arms wrapped around his chest, content just to be near him. 

Finally, the day arrived. The gang all arose early, gathering their tools uneasily. Nerves always ran high the day of, regardless of how much planning had gone into the score, and your stomach churned. Karen had lent a hat, Mary-Beth a beautiful dress in your most favorite color, and you felt so fluffy and over the top. When Arthur saw you, his face seemed to go slack, a rare smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“My, my, Mrs. Morgan,” he drawled, taking a few lazy steps to close the gap to you. “Aren’t you lookin’ mighty fine this mornin’.”

Pouting and embarrassed, you waved him off, brushing a tight curl over your shoulder in a weak attempt to mask the color rising to your cheeks.

“Shut up.”

“Hey, now, I’m only tryin’ to lighten the mood.” He laughed before looking somewhat sheepish himself. “Besides, you really do.”

You paused, taking in his sincere compliment.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t have time to respond as Dutch stepped out of his tent, looking the picture of graceful leadership, commanding everyone’s attention. As you turned your body towards him, you saw Arthur’s gaze lingering on your figure, the dress complementing you perfectly. You focused on tugging on your white lace gloves, trying to turn your ears where it mattered.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

“Alright, Mr. Callahan, now, here we are!”

Your voice pitched up, you pointed out the grandest building in town: the bank. Arthur guided his horse to the hitching post before hopping down, turning to help you down, your big skirt catching slightly and flouncing as your feet landed. Grinning at him, you tugged at his arm excitedly.

“Come on, darling, we gotta go get us a loan! That house ain’t gonna buy itself, you know!”

It was clear you were amusing the man at your side. Your anxiety was causing a jump in your performance, pushing you a slightly uncomfortable bit above believable, but you were pretty and young and the men were watching you. That was all that mattered.

With a grand gesture, you shoved the door to the bank open, stepping into the marbled interior with your boots clicking. The teller glanced up from whatever paperwork he was looking at. For a brief second, he studied the two of you, his eyes lingering on you in particular, before a fixed smile appeared on his face. 

“How can I help you?” he drawled. As practiced, Arthur opened his mouth to speak but you butted in before he could.

“Why, hello, Mr…?” You swept forward, extending a hand for him to shake. He glanced at Arthur in disbelief before gingerly shaking your hand.

“Mr. Monaghan.”

“Oh, Mr. Monaghan, how lovely!” You grinned widely, shaking vigorously. “Yes, me and my new husband here are looking to buy a house! Isn’t that just grand? We just got married, you know, just last week! Oh, we had the most beautiful honeymoon, didn’t we, darling? Traveled to see the ocean, oh it was gorgeous! Simply gorgeous! Have you ever been, Mr. Monaghan?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t. Not the way you planned it.

“The birds were so lovely, there were so many of them! Oh, and the food! Simply divine! Have you had seafood before? Crab, lobster, shrimp, oh it was perfect!”

As you rambled, the doors swung in again, allowing entrance to John and Javier. You didn’t spare a look for them, your energy pointed at the teller, and as planned, he didn’t seem to notice them. Your shrill voice and wild theatrics had his whole attention. You carried on as the men got into position.

“They paired the shrimp with-- What was it, my love? This wine, it was a red, wasn’t it? Or was it a white? Mr. Callahan is just hopeless about these things, you know, I’m glad I’m here to help him. Oh we had the most wonderful time together! I thought it might rain one day, there were these horrible gray clouds, but he told me not to worry, even though I wanted to, and sure enough, the sun was out by dinner time!”

The doors creaked again, allowing the last two men in, Dutch and Bill. All 5 men exchanged a look and, in one swift motion, they pulled their bandanas over their faces and drew their weapons. It was satisfying to hear the clicks of a few hammers. Your grin turned wicked and the teller suddenly realized what had happened. 

“We’ll take that loan to go, if you don’t mind.” You couldn’t help yourself. Arthur quickly stepped forward, shielding you with his body so your face was hidden, and you hurriedly moved towards the back of the men, allowing them to do what they needed. It was relatively painless and quiet, the teller moving hastily and without hesitation, filling bags with money and even allowing them access to the room with the safes. You served as lookout, casually standing at the window to keep an eye peeled for the law. Only when you heard Dutch’s signature goodbye did you turn away from it. Arthur made eye contact with you and playfully raised his eyebrows as he strode towards the door and you, ready to make for the horizon.

Without warning, the doors flew open, banging against the wall from the force behind it. Several lawmen were standing, guns drawn, ready to take out the outlaws. Instantly, shots were being fired. You didn’t know who fired first, but you dove out of the way, gripping your hat tightly so it wouldn’t be left behind. For some reason, your only coherent thought was Karen would have my hide.

Men were shouting, the smell of gunpowder filled the air. Flat on the floor, you couldn’t see anything, only heard Dutch shouting orders, police filling the streets outside, the solid sound of bullets connecting with flesh. There was nowhere to take cover. Somebody stepped on your leg and you gasped from the pain. A hand gripped your ankle and dragged you towards a wall. Panicked, you tried to scramble away until you registered Arthur’s voice trying to reassure you. 

“You boys play nice!” a deep voice bellowed from the porch. “We don’t want no hangings, now, y’here?”

“We will play nice when you play nice, Sheriff!” Dutch barked back. 

“This is a fucking massacre!” John spoke to the room at large. The men that had entered before were all on the floor, blood pooling around them, their guns laying forgotten on the wood. More were shouted outside. They were organizing to block all exits from town. There was no way you were gonna make it out now, you started to fear, and you could see the shared looks of the men with you echoing the same sentiment.

A surprised cry arose from outside as another gunshot cracked through the air. 

“There’s Mac!”

With renewed energy, everyone jumped up and sprang for the door. Feeling marginally brave, you snatched a gun from the floor, hoping you wouldn’t have to use it. Bill led the way out. Javier, John, and Dutch quickly followed, and Arthur made up the rear with you in tow, sticking to him like glue. 

The sun outside was blinding. You barely caught a glimpse of the street before you were rushed down the steps and around the side of the building. Back pressed against the wall, the pounding in your head started blocking out your hearing, and you only felt the vibrations in the air and under your feet. Even with all of Dutch’s careful planning, you were still trapped in this mess…

Arthur shouted your name. He stood, almost pressed to you, eyes burning. You snapped to attention, gun at the ready.

“We gotta make a break for it! Be ready on my count!”

It was all you could do to nod. You saw his horse in your peripheral, antsy and pawing, but waiting. You tried desperately to calm your breathing and gathered your skirts up out of your way. At the mark, you all ran, each in slightly different directions to mount their horses, spurring before fully mounted. Arthur was first and you scrambled after him, latching onto his arm and using the momentum of his horse to swing your leg over, skirts be damned. With a sharp cry, he urged his horse forward and away from town.

For a brief moment, you were free. Pounding hooves sounded behind you but were fading fast. The shouts of men continued to rip through the air, but you realized that they, too, were slowly growing faint.  And then a stabbing pain exploded in your thigh. A scream escaped before you could stop yourself. Trained well, Arthur didn’t stop his horse, but he tried to see what had happened, calling back to you with increasing desperation. You had been shot. The panic, the shortness of breath, and now the pain was too much. In a surprisingly short matter of seconds, black filled your vision and you were gone.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

The rustle of the trees. The soft sound of running water. Crackling of a campfire. Low voices outside your tent. Your hair brushing your face. Dull and throbbing pain in your leg. Heaviness in your chest. And, finally, the realization you were laying on a cot and not your usual bedroll. 

Slowly, your eyes blinked open. This definitely wasn’t your tent. These weren’t your blankets. Only the soft glow from the fire and a few lanterns shone on the one canvas wall. It was enough light to see that this was Arthur’s tent, the small table with his journal and flower, his photographs on the wagon side. His smell on the blankets. You breathed in deeply.

A snort by your feet caused you to startle. Sitting up slowly, you saw Arthur slumped in a chair, his hat drawn over his face, arms crossed as he breathed evenly, the occasional snore breaking the silence. An strong and sharp pain made you hiss and, in turn, woke the outlaw from his slumber. 

“You’re awake,” he mumbled, barely awake himself as he sat up. 

“Regrettably…”

“How’re you feelin’?”

“Honestly? Not great,” you said, chuckling a little. “But I’ve had worse. Why am I here?”

“Thought you might like a real bed. Well, realer than your bedroll. We can put you out for the wolves, if ya like.” His teasing tone was back, but it was more strained than normal. He looked absolutely exhausted. 

“No, this is fine. It’s… nice.”

Silence fell again. You stared at a thread on the sheet while Arthur stared at you. Usually there was a party the night after a big score, everyone drinking and being merry. There was a strange lack of boisterous laughter, though, and you had the weird feeling it was your doing. 

“How did we make out?”

“Oh, we escaped,” he said, leaning back in the chair again. “But we’re trapped here awhile, there’ll be law crawlin’ everywhere for a few weeks.”

“How much?”

Not even your fixation on the money got him to crack a smile.

“Dunno.” Shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve been in here, makin’ sure you don’t die.”

Arthur’s behavior was bizarre. You hadn’t seen him behave this way when another gang member was injured, not even when John had nearly been lost last year, and it was starting to worry you. Was there something else you didn’t know about? Was your injury more serious than he was letting on? For a moment, you studied his face, the ache and shadows clear in the weak light, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw the barest sign of a light track down his cheek.

“Arthur…” 

It was such a soft whisper, you weren’t sure he had heard you at first. He lifted his eyes to meet yours. You tried desperately to read him for a second before finally caving.

“Arthur, what happened? Did someone not make it?”

At long last, he managed a short huff of air that might be mistaken for laughter. Shaking his head, he leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he ran his hands across his face, removing his hat and setting it on his wardrobe. When he looked at you again, he actually had a small smile, and relief had replaced what you had mistaken for grief.

“No, no, nothin’ like that.”

“So what’s the matter?”

He tilted his chin up, exhaling long and low towards the sky, seemingly contemplating something. It was quiet for an achingly long time. Another deep sigh and he brought his chin back down, meeting your gaze steadily.

“I thought I was gonna lose you,” he murmured. “I heard the shot, your scream… I thought you were gone for sure.”

Okay… you thought, still bewildered. We’ve almost lost people before. What makes me special?

“And I didn’t get the chance to tell you…” You had seen him struggle with words in the past, but this was different. It was almost as if his voice was physically fighting him on saying anything. “I couldn’t stand to lose you, truth be told. You mean-- That is, you’re very important-- That’s, well…”

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes as you realized what he was trying to say. You didn’t dare utter a word, hoping, begging him to just spit it out. You weren’t positive this was happening, as now you were almost certain you had actually died and this was the beginning of your personal heaven.

“I can’t lose you, darlin’.”

The tears spilled over and dripped down your cheeks. You couldn’t even feel the pain in your thigh as it felt like a major weight had been lifted off of you. Arthur was startled, concern growing once more on his face at your tears, but when you started to grin and laughter bubbled up, he relaxed and looked as embarrassed as a school boy, dropping his eyes and smiling himself.

“I can’t tell you how happy that makes me to hear,” you finally said, shaking your head at the silliness of it all. “I can’t lose you, either, Arthur. You mean the world to me.”

Slowly, the cowboy rose from his seat and approached the edge of the cot. You gingerly shifted yourself over to allow him to sit beside you, and he took the opportunity. You soaked in the other’s presence for just a moment. With the softest gaze you had seen from him, Arthur returned his attention to you. He lifted a hand to cup your face, his rough thumb stroking your cheek as he drank in your features, looking truly content for the first time. Gracefully and ever the gentleman, he tilted your face up to meet his as he carefully kissed you. It was light at first. He was testing the waters, not pushing too fast. But when you met him eagerly, he leaned in, hard. 

You didn’t dare breathe for the duration of the kiss, your heart a frightening combination of pounding and not beating at all. The taste of whiskey lingered fresh on his lips and left your mouth tingling. When Arthur pulled away, you shifted forward slightly, not wanting it to end. But, courteous as always, he pressed a lingering kiss on your forehead and then sat back again. Your eyes flickered all over his face. You were still unsure if you could catch your breath.

“Wanted to do that for a long time,” he muttered. All you could do was nod. Wow…

“Can you stay with me?” you blurted out. “Tonight?”

“O’ course,” he agreed. He tugged his boots off as you scooted as far over as you could, lifting the sheet for him to crawl into. Warmth radiated from his skin and it was like stepping into a comfortable bath as he wrapped his arms around you. You sighed into his chest, drinking in his smell with your face buried in him, hands gripping his shirt. The dull sting in your leg was in the background of your mind. It didn’t matter to you, though; you were safe here. And this wasn’t going to end any time soon.

[natsukitakama]

What kind of boyfriends are they ? Cursed edition

Author note : Hello ! I hope you’re doing well ♡ I’m super happy to be able to post again, I still need to practice a little bit tell me what you think about this one. I plan to create another série “what kind of significant other are they” but for a lot of fandoms ♡. 

Warning : Some spoilers / Just me fangirling over my crush 

i do not own those gifs credit to the owners 

The weeping monk aka Lancelot 

Attentive : he tends to be quiet but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice. He used to analyze everything in order to catch fey or to fight properly and he uses this quality in your relationship. Meaning he will always know when you are down when you are angry or when you’re lying to him. 

Because he knows that he tries his best to act the proper way in order to help you going through what ever bother you. However despite his sensitive nature, he took him a long time and a lot of works to be able to express his feelings. He was raised to be a weapon to be a man, not some Childs who cried over. Be patient with him it’ll worth it. 

Collected : most of people believe that it’s a cursed  but with him it’s actually a good thing, because he is not very loud, fight are non-existent. 

Not because he doesn’t feel angry (he does) but he wasn’t raised to express his emotion or worst let them take the best of him. He is monk so he knows better than falling for wrath. It took a lot to actually make him angry. In the meantime, being quiet means he is pretty good listener and because of that he alway knows what to do when you’re about to start a fight : because he could remember what you say earlier etc. Since he is attentive when it came to you, it’s all benefit for you. 

Kind : there litteraly nothing he won’t do for you. Not kidding this little baby is touch-starved and he can’t help but thank every divinity fey or not for giving such a wonderful S/O as you are. 

He knows he can be harsh and sometimes he can hurt you with his words, he knows he isn’t very comfortable with physical affection. But he is trying. Because of that he will always take care of you as much as possible, and will always reminds you how much he loves you by small gesture. 

The first time you saw him running into you ready to kill every man and then taking you into a safe place. You knew he was in love and that he cared about you. Most of the time he manifests his love to you by small gesture, a little flower on your desk the next morning, your favorite hot drink, a book that you might be into. Anything who appears to be small gesture but means a lot for you. 

Protective : as I mentionned before, he won’t hesitate to kill anyone who might bother you. For him you far too precious for this world, you’re bringing him peace, your his heaven and there no way someone would take you away from him.

Besides no matter how hard you tried, he still believes that you need protection because the whole world is insane and you’re not ready for that. He also knows that he get a lot of ennemies because of what he did, so he has to be near just in case. No matter how hard you tried, he would always ask you to be careful (and would always have his eyes on you just to be sure). He is aware that betraying the church would give him a lot of ennemies who might try to take you away as an hostage. 

Jealous : he is a possessive man fight me on this. I can see him sending death glare at everyone who might look at you for too long. 

This jealousy came from différents things : First since he is a touch starved baby he wants all your attention on him, he doesn’t want someone to enjoy what he should be the one to experiment. Second he knows that you are out of his league, he doesn’t deserve you you’re a whole light while he is nothing but a shadow. He was blessed by your love for him and there no way he would share this. Third, I can picture him as a primal man, no matter how hard he works to be a monk a good believer, I’m pretty sure deep down there is an alpha.

The green knight Aka Gawain 

Emotional : he might be a strong soldier, one of the best fey’s protector this man is a huge teddy bear. I’m pretty sure he is always touching his S/O : taking their hands, hugs them, kiss them. It’s written on his face he is clingy fight me on this. 

In addition I believe he is pretty sensitive and might feel when something is wrong with you. Each time something happen he will always be here reminding you that he is here, nothing is going to happen, you’re going to be fine. He is pretty easy to read actually although he claims that he can keep secret and anything (which is true) he can’t lie to you. You just have a power on him, he get overwhelmed everytime you’re here. So if he is hiding something all you have to do is to look at him right into his eyes and he would give up. 

Protective : not a surprise. He probably lost his whole family and some of his friends as well so he won’t let something happen to you. 

He might be even difficult than Lancelot, because he can be pretty bossy (especially because he works a lot as a leader) , he will order you to stay at your place and to not leave until it’s very necessary (meaning someone is in your house and you need to run away otherwise it’s never necessary for him). He just can’t loose you, it will break him. Also he tends to be distracted because fo you, you just had this power on him.  

Loving : As I said before the man is clingy, but it’s more than : his eyes are screaming « I love Y/N ». He sweats love. I can’t explain he is vibing his love. 

That’s why he is always close to you, always holding your hand, always kissing you (his kiss my god deep and slow to appreciate every second of it the type to take your breath away). When this man loves he L O V E S. When you’re in private he tends to be pretty clumsy which tends to get well... deeper when you two get intimate. Even when you’re not around people can tell when is thinking about you (99% of the time honestly) I won’t be surprised he is the worship type. 

Romantic : I don’t know he just seems to be the kind of man of taking you into a wood walking together until finding a cute little spot with a river or something. Since he is a fey he feels pretty close to earth in general. He is always spoiling you with meaning gift, like a flower who is supposed to represent love, buying you the book you were always talking about.

Maybe this is just me, but I can totally see him doing those kind of things like dancing with you while looking tenderly at you, always showing you off, writing you letter or anything. He spoils you a lot, anytime he gets the chance to buy something he knows you put interest on he would buy without a second thought. Since he is a fey, he is closed to the nature so he might even craft you something like a flower crown or anything. 

Passionate : I told you when he loves he loves, meaning everything he will do to you, he will do it while being 100% focused on you. He wants to cherish you, praises you, makes you feel like you’re a goddes in every way. 

I said his kiss would take your breath away but so does his smile or his caress, he does with such an intensity. No man had treated you like this before. During intimate moment, he would always whisper sweet things into your ear, worship your body as if you were a divinity. At the end of your session you can’t feel unloved that’s absolutely impossible. 

Merlin 

Tease : that’s how he flirts that’s how he seduces that’s how he shows you he loves you. Although he never does this to be mean, he can’t help but giggle at seeing you being all red from embarrassment or because you’re angry at him. 

Most of the time it’s a cute teasing, but when he wants to fluster you he won’t hesitate to use his skilled tongue to tease the hell out of you until you’re practically begging at him for his attention. Of course he will oblige. It’s just so natural for him that he would do it without even realize that he was teasing you. Most of the time it’s all planned, so he can get your attention without asking you to (he is so proud I swear). 

Jealous : okay so Lancelot is jealous in the primal way but Merlin is on another level. He wants you to be his, he wants everyone to know that you’re taken and he won’t tolerate someone flirting with you or even staring at you. 

Unlike Lancelot, Merlin won’t bother sending death glare instead he will fight them : using his power to trick them or using his silver tongue to make them feel like there nothing. Remember that scene with Lenore ? Where her future husband was talking shit about her ? All he wanted was to throw him a spell. Best believe he would the same to anyone who might be to close to you. You belong to Merlin and only him, also don’t expect him to be kind when you two would be at home after the incident. 

Loving : we saw the way he was looking at Lenore, this man like Gawain vibes love. It’s just written on his face, sometimes it’s cursed cause he is alway afraid someone might use you against him. 

But 99% of the time it’s a blessing, Merlin during his long life has experimented every aspect of love sexual or not. So he knows how to please you, he knows how to caress you, how to kiss you, and he is sucker of your reaction each of them are a piece of heaven for him. He is not as passionate as the green knight but you best believe that every inch of your skin would feel loved (and he doesn’t need to have you under him to do that). He has his way to look at you, anyone even people who never meet him before would noticed how he is into you. 

Secretive : because he loves you and would die for you. He tends to keep a lot of things for himself not that he doesn’t trust you, but in his mind the less you know the better. It’s always a matter of what to do to protect Y/N.

So yeah he would have a secret but will never lie to you, that’s something he can’t do to you. Besides he doesn’t need that he get a pretty skilled tongue and knows what to do to bring another subject instead of answering your question. Since he tends to tease you a lot, all he has to do is to tease you so he would be able to change the subject. At some points you would notice his behavior but since he does that all the time you understood that he might keeps so secret between you two which make you sad. Maybe one day you’ll confront him about it ? 

Shy : believe it or not, but the man still feels some butterflies on his stomach every times he sees you. That’s what make him shy. Because he knows he is falling in love but love can be tricky or dangerous so he is a bit afraid besides he knows he gets some reputation. 

So yeah sometimes he is flustered when he hear you laughing or just sees you smile at him.  He takes him time to admit that he is into you but once he admits it, this shyness will leave for a more playful Merlin.  He was with a lot of people during his life, but he tends to got shy everytime you’re acting “innocent”. When you’re taking him on a walk enjoying any treasure that you got from nature, or just enjoying the simple. One day you were in a city, and some bards where playing around you couldn't help but take his hand to dance with him. That spontaneity never failed to make him feel like a teenager living is first love. 

[carminite-wyrm]

Hero-of-Kvatch!Nyx AU, Part 2!

aka, Nyx continues to not have a great time in the tunnels beneath the Imperial Prison.

Again, story under the cut.

Part 1

The most ridiculous part of this whole matter, Nyx decided, was not the not-daemons (the creatures had certainly looked the part, but they hadn’t disappeared into a cloud of miasma after he’d killed them) he had encountered in the tunnels as he made his way out of the prison. It was the fact that no one had commented on both his injuries, or his tattered uniform that was very much not fitting the ‘high fantasy novel’ aesthetic he was also wrapping his head around.

Even as the brisk pace that the elderly man – who was apparently Uriel Septim VII, the Emperor of the nation Nyx now found himself in – and his entourage set through the tunnels did wonders for working out the lingering stiffness in his body, (as did the vaguely nightmarish path earlier full of the largest rats Nyx had ever seen), Nyx found his mind starting to spiral off into multiple tangents, trying to process the wealth of information he had already managed to gather.

He had died, that was almost an undeniable fact. And then he had awoken in what he was now absolutely certain was a different universe, to find himself in a cell that he was shortly released from by the Emperor of the land of Tamriel, who was fleeing cultist-assassins who had most likely already claimed the lives of his heirs. On top of all of that, the Emperor (and Nyx, apparently), were mixed up in some sort of shared fate or prophecy, that likely had to do with the gods of this realm if Nyx was understanding things correctly.

Nyx was fervently doing his best to try and ignore how the situation was rather similar to what he had just lived in his own world. It had been almost too easy for him to slip back into the role of a bodyguard and defender of a King, to the point that one of the guards, Baurus, had given him several suspicious looks when he had found their group once again, and introduced himself as Nyx.

He silently cursed the lack of his kukris, the weight of the short sword he had found in the tunnels slightly awkward in his hand, as he fended off one of the strange assassins that were chasing their group, the blade nevertheless good enough to sink through a chink in his opponent’s armour. Even the slightest drop of magic to blast some of them away faster would have been useful, but he was fairly certain that the magic he once had was now gone. Dead and gone, vanished when Regis’ body had-

He grit his teeth, shoving that thought away along with the dead body that slid off his blade.

Even if this Emperor Uriel was supposedly meant to die at some point in the coming future, Nyx would do his best to help him avoid that ‘fate’. Quite frankly, he’d had enough of talks of fate and destiny, and the fact that the Emperor looked about as resigned to his fate as Regis had been-

The group halted as they found the way to the sewers to be barred, and Nyx suddenly had a sinking feeling. He readied his sword, just in time for one of the guards– Blades, the Emperor had called them –to call out that it was a trap. He followed them as they tried a side passage, only to find that it was a dead end.

“Wait here with the Emperor,” One of the Blades ordered, as the sound of assassins entering the previous chamber grew louder. “Guard him with your life!”

And before Nyx could even muster up a shred of disagreement, that perhaps leaving their Emperor with a man who they had previously thought to be a criminal, and also visibly injured even if he wasn’t actively bleeding or burning to death was a terrible idea, the two Blades had rushed off to engage the assassins.

“Well, at least this room is somewhat defensible,” Nyx sighed, readying his sword as he briefly gave the room a once-over to see if there was something he could use to barricade the entrance. Finding nothing, he instead took up a post by the doorway, readying his sword. Once confident that he’d be able to see any danger that would appear, he turned his attention back to the Emperor, only to find an amulet with a bright red gem being held out to him.

“…Isn’t that yours?” Nyx asked, a sinking feeling starting to settle into his stomach. This was starting to look very, very, familiar. “Why-“

The Emperor’s eyes were startlingly clear, and kind, as he explained that this would be where he was to die, and that he wished for Nyx to not only take his amulet, but find his last son, a secret son that only another man named Jauffre knew the location of.

“This amulet…it isn’t just some family heirloom, is it?”

The Emperor shook his head. “It is the Amulet of Kings, and must pass to the last of the Dragon’s Blood.”

“…Don’t tell me this contains some sort of great power that only someone blood-related to you can wield, a power that was granted to you by a dragon god. And that it will help to end a world-ending calamity.”

“That…is exactly it.” The Emperor gave him a curious look. “That is not common knowledge.”

“I…I’m not quite sure how to explain it.” Nyx admitted. “It’s…a long story.”

“Take the Amulet, and then in the little time we have left, I would hear what you can tell of your story. Your fate lies past the moment of my death, I do not worry that you will fall with the Amulet.”

Nyx glanced around the room, finding it still clear of danger for the time being, even if the sounds of fighting had moved ever so slightly closer to them. He slowly took the Amulet, tucking it away in one of the pockets in his uniform.

“So…Would you believe me if I said that I’m not from this world? Or universe, probably.” Nyx began. “And that I had died, then woken up in that cell, and then a few minutes later you and your guards showed up.”

The Emperor’s eyebrows creased in thought, before he nodded slowly. “The ways of the Divines are mysterious indeed. But you are here, as I have foreseen. Your origins, or your past deeds, do not concern me.”

“I’ve already lived through this!” Nyx blurted out, before he realised that probably wouldn’t make sense without some level of explanation. “I mean, the events leading up to my death, are startlingly similar to what’s happening right now!”

He agitatedly twisted one of his braids in his free hand, decidedly not looking in the direction of the Emperor.

“You are afraid.” Nyx snapped around to stare at the other man.

“I-“

“Even though we have only just met, and yet you still care enough to fear the consequences my death will bring.”

“I just. Don’t want to fail to protect another person. I don’t want your guards, your Blades, to also fail to protect someone they swore to keep safe.” Nyx muttered.

“Oh.” The Emperor sighed, and briefly closed his eyes. There was a sudden presence in the room, ever so slight and yet Nyx could sense it, almost vibrating through the vein-like scars on his arm, the feeling similar to the rush of power that he had felt when confronting the old Kings of Lucis when he had put on the Ring.

The Emperor opened his eyes once again as the moment passed, and looked straight at Nyx, his gaze this time almost as piercing as Regis’ had been when he had spoken up for Nyx in front of the old Kings.

“Your kindness, and dedication, is a gift in these dark times. I am honoured to have met you, Nyx Ulric, and to have been granted the knowledge of the weight you bore before you were brought here. I regret the fate that has been passed onto you, so soon after your sacrifice in your old world, but, I have faith that you will not only face it, but also surpass the expectations laid upon you by the Gods. After all, this new life you have gained will not be without its blessings.”

“Wait, what do you mean-“

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a now-familiar flare of red magic, and broke off as he spun around to meet the assassin, the enemy’s mace rattling against the blade he just managed to bring up in time. The two traded blows furiously, moving across the room as Nyx attempted to use his free arm to gesture or herd the Emperor back away from danger.

Nyx hissed in pain as the mace briefly slid past his guard, the sharp edges of the weapon slicing sharp lines through the side of his uniform. The enchantments that had once been imbued into the fabric clearly had not survived his appearance in this world, though that was not surprising, given how they had hinged on Lucis Caelum magic anyways. He stumbled back a few steps from the impact, and ducked as the mace came down at his head once again. This assassin was clearly a cut above the others they had encountered earlier, Nyx thought, briefly eyeing the cracked stone where the mace had hit.

The assassin cackled, and moved to attack again, when Nyx heard the sound of stone grinding against stone. He looked around for the source of the noise, and spotted, in that half-second, a figure in red robes, wearing an even-more ornate set of black armour, a wickedly-long dagger in his hand. And that figure was stepping out of a passage that had just opened up, right next to where the Emperor was standing.

Instinctively, he flung his sword at the assassin, bracing himself for the pulling sensation of a warp. And then he remembered.

He no longer had the ability to warp.

“Shit!” He yelled, now scrambling under the first assassin as he tried to reach the new assassin in time, trying to reach the Emperor before– and why was he just standing there?! – the new assassin struck.

His fingers had just skimmed the edges of the hilt of his sword, other hand outstretched to try and push the Emperor or the assassin out of the way, when he saw the knife sink into the Emperor’s heart.

He watched as the Emperor toppled to the ground, the assassin’s knife dripping blood onto the stones. He heard, more than saw, as one of the guards appeared in the doorway and gave an anguished cry.

And then the assassins were attacking them again, and he had no time to further process the situation as he and the guard – Baurus – ended up fighting back-to-back, a grieving desperation in Baurus’ attacks as together, they managed to kill those last two assassins.

There was silence, finally, as the last assassin slowly bled out on the ground, and Nyx watched with blurry eyes as Baurus fell to his knees next to the corpse of his Emperor.

[justhewayfaringstranger]

So, I've wanted to address this topic for a while and this post I read this morning while having breakfast is a sort of response from the universe.

I would say to start by explaining a simple concept.

Demons and spirits are not the same thing, but rather, they vary from each other. Likewise, spirits and ghosts are not the same.

• Creatures understood as "demons" exist in all religions; they are supernatural beings, typically associated with the evil, historically prevalent in religions, occultism, literature, fiction, mythology and folklore;

• "spirits" are instead organized energy with at least a certain level of sensitivity that has an energy body and in most cases also an astral body. The Latin word is a translation of the Greek prneuma ("breath", "air", "vital breath") and to some extent it can be seen in the apeiron of the Presocratic Anaximander, who had to some extent dematerialized the archè (Greek: ἀρχή ) of the other Ionian naturalists, the original principle of the universe and of every part of it, impalpable and invisible but still material, as shown by another void that, blowing inside it, fills with air matter. With the Stoics, the term begins to be compared to today's one of spirit. The pneuma belongs to the god who gives life to things and guides them according to his wishes. The pneuma is a force that manifests itself not only in the individual man but is present in all things as the "soul of the world". They are ancient entities like the world itself, part of the primordial chaos and consequently neutral in themselves;

• the term “ghost” refers instead to any incorporeal entity. The term ghost comes from the Greek φάντασμα phàntasma, which in turn derives from φαντάζω (phantàzo, "to show"; from the root φαν-, which expresses the idea of ​​"appearing" and "showing"), and had the meaning of apparition (understood as a supernatural manifestation) and only with time has its meaning been restricted to indicating the apparition of a deceased.

In 1800, with the birth of the practice of spiritism in France, it ended up rendering in the common imagination "spirits" and "ghosts" similar entities, if not true synonyms.

The French pedagogue Allan Kardec after observing a series of phenomena, formulated the hypothesis that such phenomena could only be attributed to incorporeal intelligences (spirits). Spiritual communications took place "thanks to the intervention of a medium", that is a person with particular skills who acted as mediator between spirits and living beings, during the so-called séance. This became a busines for many and most of the spiritualists were actually charlatans who swore to the victims that they could talk to the dead. In most cases, those who could afford to turn to a medium, were economically wealthy and of high rank lost and therefore for the scammer it was certainly not difficult to obtain information (even intimate) about the deceased and those around him, if at this was added some well-orchestrated play of smoke and lights, here is the "grandmother's ghost".

Having understood this, one wonders what it is then what we understand as a "ghost of a person". It is a trace left by the living. On a scientific level, death doesn't exist. From the chemical-physical point of view we are isolated systems that receive energy and produce it. But the universe itself is a closed system. So our energy is the energy of the universe. We are universe. What happens when we die? Our energy returns to the universe system. But as we know, energy is neither created nor destroyed, but it changes. So our energy is energy that has been changed in the past by others, and will be changed by others when we are gone. Death doesn't exist because energy is immortal. The energy that I am using now to tap on my laptop keyboard is the same energy that Gaius Julius Caesar used to pull the reins of his horse and to cross the Rhine. And it will be the energy that in the future a scientist will use to to be able to travel between the various space-time dimensions. Death doesn't exist, and the life of one is the life of all.

To simplify then, what we mean as the ghost of Marilyn Monroe for example, is nothing more than a sort of energetic gif of Marilyn Monroe.

I'll give you another example. Anne Boleyn died by beheading, therefore by a violent and unjust death. In this situation, she is likely to have felt strong emotions and released a huge and consistent huge amount of energy as a result. Let's say that Henry VIII was present at the execution along with a bunch of other people, let's also say that he went back to that place (or others where Anne felt strong emotions and therefore released large amounts of energy) and thought about her, let's say that Elizabeth I also thought of her mother and so many other people. All these emotions have turned into energy. If we saw energy as a palette of colors, it would be as if: the more consistent the emotions, the more intense the color, therefore, the more energy we send (even unconsciously) to the energetic image of Anne Boleyn (the energetic gif), the clearer this will be where most of the energy is concentrated (eg the Tower of London, a room in the building, etc.).

So when we go to a "haunted" place, what we see is not the "person", but a kind of still image. And according to the speech above, it is therefore normal to find this type of freeze frame in places such as castles, hospitals, etc. then if these are found on natural energy centers or lines… bingo!

Speaking instead of spirits, as mentioned before, there are no good or bad spirits. Good and bad as well as light and dark, like day and night, are a contrast present in many traditions, including native ones. This duality can also be referred to the human being and represent a moment of acting or thinking of a person. You can think and act towards the light or towards the darkness and this can also happen to shamans.

Just think of the ego and when it takes over, or when you try to manipulate, at that moment you are not in the light. But it can happen and that doesn't mean being good or bad. Acting, in fact, can also be connected with a person's karma and precisely follow what is required by this spiritual law.

Light and darkness, as in the human world, are also reflected in the world of spirits and even in this case they do not absolutely determine the condition of goodness or badness. Spirits, who in the light can be protectors, guides or allies, can also move in the dark dimension.

And if we think like the natives that everything has a spirit and that it can move between light and darkness, we can understand how there can be spirits that are particularly powerful and able to move very strong energies such as to create an effect in ordinary reality.

It is important to know the distinction between light and shadow because, from an early age, we were educated to separate the good from the bad, the right from the wrong, but for this we have become very sensitive when it comes to going to work on our shadows. As I told you, light and shadow are states of being that we all have within us. Working with shadows doesn't mean black magic, witchcraft or whatever. Simply observe the aspects of light and be able to deal with those of shadow as well. Light and darkness are two sides of the same coin that it is important to integrate.

Being half Latin, therefore leaning towards a culture extremely linked to its roots and above all to the relationship with mental spirits, it isn't difficult for me to understand this concept, and therefore despite being a Christian, I have no problem in defining myself as a witch. Of course, coming to this awareness wasn't easy, as I am partly European and therefore I grew up in a society in a Western society that is scared of what it cannot control. After years of researching my origins, my culture and theological studies, I have come to find my balance.

Returning, however, to the main reason for this post, having made the necessary explanations (and given the tools for a critical analysis of the matter), here are the points on which I personally disagree and why:

Reading books about witchcraft: Knowledge for educational purposes is by no means negative, quite the opposite. The question is whether the aforementioned "about witchcraft" book is a "spell book" or some sort of "sacred book". For example, if I find the Necronomicon tomorrow and start reading it without knowing what it is, it is likely that I will find myself living the remake of The Conjuring in the real life.

Casting most types of spells, including hexes: Same speech made in the previous point. One of the first rules of witchcraft is "know your practice". You must be aware that what you are doing is not a game and every action has consequences, even if you don't believe in the rule of 3 (everything you do comes back to you 3 times). In the specific case of curse and hexes spells, they are the most treacherous and dangerous, because you are working with dark and malevolent energies. This type of practice in particular is a double-edged weapon, which is why many witches advise against them and propose alternative methods if possible.

Practicing divination: It isn't always negative, but in some types of divination the help and guidance of spirits and divinities is sought. For example, I often do bibliomancy with the bible and even if I first ask for God's guidance, in front of each answer I ask for confirmation, because the devil was the most beautiful angel in heaven and just as darkness does not allow us to see. where we go, even a dazzling light can deceive us.

Playing with Ouija or other talking boards: Ouija is not a game and it is an extremely dangerous tool, precisely because what you do is contact spirits and entities and you cannot know who will answer the other side. Nothing good anyway.

Putting up fantasy or non-Christian artwork: Have you ever seen Annabel? Here, the principle is the same. Be careful what you bring into your home, as home is a sacred space, and nothing can enter without you giving it permission. So if you not only invite it, but rather you bring it inside and give it a space, don't come and complain to me if it is difficult to send it away.

Celebrating pagan holidays: If it's a holiday of a closed religion, avoid ruining your life. Holidays basically consist of performing rituals that often involve spirits. Learn about the history of that holiday you want to celebrate, the symbols, the rituals, and why it is celebrated in that particular way.

Celebrating Halloween: The same as the previous point, except that we all (or almost all) know that samahin is the day when the space where the veil falls and the two worlds come into contact.

Watching scary movies and TV shows: I'm not saying that if you watch The Exorcist you will be possessed, but I can't assure you otherwise either. I took The Exorcist as an example because it is known that a real ritual is performed in the movie and a lot of "disturbing" things have happened on the set of the film and to the actors. When you watch a movie, even if it is fictional, if for example it performs an evocation or a ritual you are not only witnessing, you are participating in all respects. Be careful, every person is different.

Reading (horror novels, fantasy books, comics and graphic novels). Playing (tabletop RPGs, LARP games, video games): Same as the previous point.

Listening to heavy metal music, dancing: It goes for any kind of music actually. Do you know how many pop songs I use as a spell?

Dyeing your hair: I'm not saying you'll invoke a demon, but for many cultures cutting your hair makes you more vulnerable to spiritual attack and color is an essential aspect of witchcraft.

Swearing: Wishing someone who has crossed your path death is considered a curse in all respects. Even if done unconsciously.

Drinking: Drinking, smoking… shamans have used alcohol and drugs for centuries to connect with in the spiritual world.

Having tattoos and piercings: As long as you don't tattoo Aramaic words that you don't know the meaning of, everything is fine. Before getting a tattoo in a symbol you saw in a temple in Mexico, find out the meaning of it. I'll give you an example: my cousin once bought a T-shirt with the words "puta madre" (mother whore). He had bought it only because he liked it, without knowing the meaning of the word.

Now, most of these points are mainly related to intention. As I said before, I often use music in my spells, but if for example, I use "can't be touch by Roy jones" for a protection and encouragement spell (eg a manifestation) and a few months later I listen to the same song on the radio doesn't mean it will work like a spell again. In many cases it is a question of intention. Yhat's why it is important to educate yourself.

[fireproofheart]

Endgame Speculation

So I accidentally wrote a three page essay.

Tldr:

Caleb is consecuted,

the city(tm) is full of evil mages doing blood sport who want to unlease the chained oblivion,

Molly and Lucien are totally separate souls,

The empire knows more than it should about the beacons and the city

Ok so I decided about ten years ago that the astral city was actually where the souls that are stored in the beacon exist while they’re waiting to be reborn. Initially, I’d thought that they’d find Molly there, but clearly his body is already up and running. Anyways I think the city is some kind of phantasmal double of Aeor that they created to store the souls of mages who had reached umavi. Now I know there’s been lots of talk of a god killing weapon, but what if it’s that all these super powerful mages souls are in the city waiting to be unleashed. And then if you take to alpha and alpha to be a reference to the rebirth cycle (I go into that in this post) “We trek 'til homeward bound we be” makes sense as something like we drag ourselves through life after life through the rebirth cycle until we reach enlightenment and head back to the city and I think Lucien has figured this out, but Vess hadn’t (remember she was so close to figuring out the book).

I also think it’d be fun if the mages do actually have a god killing weapon up there but what they have is that they think they’ll be able to control the chained oblivion (I don’t think they actually can) but like what if they want to set it free so that it will destroy the divine gate and go kill a bunch of gods so that they can ascend? They might not even think that they can control it, they might just be banking on becoming gods and being able to defeat it.

So like what if there’s all this talk about umavi and perfecting your soul in the Dynasty, but that’s not it at all. What if it’s actually go through lives until you get powerful enough that the mages in the city are like oh hey come on in. We also know sometimes if you go through too many of these cycles you can go nuts. So like I wonder if the black city mages are just nerfing people who get too powerful and who aren’t good candidates to join them, or if they’re like trying to shape a world they want to come back to.

Like maybe ‘umavi’ is really just a shitty club running around hunting shit, like Halas had dreadnaught chained up in his basement essentially and also was messing around with using astral projection to achieve immortality, so why wouldn’t other mages be doing similar bullshit? We know something related to the city is hunting through the planes like Vokodo was Terrified. And if these beings are so enlightened why would they be sitting on top of like some kind of literal hell and engaging in blood sport??  Also what if the wizards knew it would be a hell city so they're all asleep and everyone who wasnt prepared to go is having a miserable time being hunted through an otherwise empty city? And this also works with Matt’s themes about false gods and blind faith!!

So, If we follow the line of thought about the city, it makes sense that the beacons are ancient Zemnian artifacts, created by the mages to ensure their immortal life. Halas was obsessed with immortality, so I think this tracks. I also have a suspicion that nine eyes is related to the governing structure that the mages used pre-calamity, possibly like a Cerberus Assembly type deal, like one for every school of magic.

Anyways! I think at least one of the assembly members possibly more have figured that out and that’s what they’re actually trying to do with the beacon. I think that initially, the assembly thought that the beacon was the ancient weapon, but I think they’ve realized it isn’t. So I think Trent is trying to recreate the consecution process so that they can continue using the rebirth cycle. That man has made some weird comments that hint about immortality, like how he doesn’t ever plan to leave his office, how he wants caleb to kill him etc. I think this raises the possibility that he’s already figured out consecution I also think it’s an interesting possibility that Trent himself is consecuted and has the memories of a pre calamity wizard, but probably the only way that’s possible is if he wasn’t that powerful, otherwise he’d know all these secrets the Empire is trying to decode.

I think what he is doing is looking for Zemnian kids who might be consecuted souls. We all know Trent loves to fuck with memories, he does this shit constantly. So he’s picking up kids he thinks might be cycling souls and trying to extract or trigger their memories while he trains them to be loyal to the empire, so he can command some real powerful mages. I think it’s also very possible that some of the experiments he ran on them were to try and discover or recreate this consecution process. We know he was up to some Bullshit, but not what exactly. We also know that he’s doing all this when they’re teenagers, which is when their memories are supposed to be returning.  

My guess is that only Caleb is actually one of the souls from the city. Also it’d be super fun if he was the soul of Mr. Destruction council member because I think that’d be a fun motive for Trent to be beating destruction magic into him (aside from the practicalities of course). But if Caleb is consecuted, it explains his dream when he slept near the beacon. Where he saw a dark sphere, which I think was the city, and multiple versions of himself. Matt  also  particularly said there were 17 selves which is a high number of rebirths (the bright queen has like 8 and shes starting to lose it) which goes to my theory that he has a super powerful soul. Also aligns with Trent telling him that ‘he has unlimited potential, unlike Astrid and Eodwulf’. And another thing he saw which tends to get overlooked, is a flame and when he looked at it, it felt familiar and overwhelming and he had to stop focusing on it bc he could feel all of his selves pulling at him. Which brings me to my next point.

Trent said that he traumatized Caleb to help him grow and that man basically never lies, he just talks around the truth. He also said that he thinks Caleb could be an assembly member and that other assembly members have been through similar situations. In the Dynasty, the memories don’t come back automatically, it’s just little flashes and then you have to have someone train you to remember your past lives. But the Empire doesn’t know about that process bc its super secret, so they have this other one that uses trauma to trigger the memories.

So I have two thoughts, one that maybe this works for some of the other souls that have gone through it, but if Caleb is one of the Pre Calamity assembly members who had reached a state of ‘umavi’, there was too much information coming through and his mind broke. And now he can’t access those memories at all, not because they’re magically supressed, but because they’re too wrapped up in his trauma. He started freaking out a bit in the dream when he felt the souls pull at him and looked into the fire and I think until he deals with allll that, he’s not going to be able to remember, if he ever can.

Or! I think it’s also possible If his soul was up there in the party part of the city and was like oh hi I don’t feel like hunting people for spORt anymore and got reborn on purpose and actively doesn’t want to remember.  Who really knows.

But if this is the case and Trent was trying to run that process, it would also makes sense as to why he would keep Caleb around for that long in the asylum if he was still trying to dig them memories out. If the second possibility is right it also provides an interesting possibility that the woman in the asylum went nuts when she healed his mind, because if she tried to heal the second part and his soul was actively resisting and lashed out… like heyooo. Caleb being secretly super powerful and evil in his soul, but choosing to act against that also is a nice tie in with the themes around identity that we’ve seen so far.

Where do Vess and Lucien come into this?

I think Vess is trying to release the souls from the city and hadn’t quite figured out how. I think that she used Lucien as a test run for being the nonagon and sent his soul to the astral plane to go into the city using the book and then as part of the ritual, cut the tether to his body so he could go off and do whatever. So it tracks that he killed Vess if he thought that she tried to kill him/did kill him/didn’t tell him that he could die or whatever. It also wouldn’t surprise me if she was prepared to be the nonagon herself even at that point, but wanted to use Lucien because the risk of death was so high.

So anyways, the ritual failed technically, because an ‘umavi’ mage didn’t pop into Lucien’s body to come tell her how to release the souls (possibly by unleashing the chained oblivion lmao) When you cut someone’s tether, they die instantly so I think she did that, a soul didn’t appear and she went fuck ok so that didn’t work. They tried to resurrect him, didn’t work, so they left. But I think the ritual did work in a way. I think they called a soul from the city, just not the one they  wanted and it took longer than they’d expected.

So Molly wakes up, has no memories of this nonsense, because as he said the entire time he was alive, whoever he was before isn’t him. And if the souls can’t interact with other souls there and they think it’s an empty hell city what if that’s why Molly came back saying empty because that’s how it seemed to him??

So Lucien accidentally gets stuck wandering around with all the other trapped souls. And what if that speaks to Lucien’s motivation to try and bring them all back. Like he’s been wandering around the shitty part of the city for years while Molly was up and running and the black city mages have promised him that he won’t have to go back there if he brings them back to the material plane. So I think Lucien mostly knows how to do this and like maybe needs that book for the technicalities, but I also think he’s going to Aeor to go find another beacon to use for the ritual. And obvi when Kree resurrected Lucien, he actually came back this time because his soul was willing and Molly’s wasn’t.

So I think Vess was trying to figure out how the ritual had failed, but I think after the nein told her about Molly and shit, she’s probably figured out that really the only piece she was missing was how to get the soul she wanted.  I think that missing piece is probably a beacon and that you could possibly use them to communicate in a way or draw the specific souls from the city. But I think it took her too long to figure it out because the beacons are super important to the peace effort, and I don’t think she’d be able to sneak off with one right now, so I think she was going to Aeor hoping to find another one. I think if she had, she would have become a vessel for an umavi mage and she would have learned how to bring back the city and I think right now, we’re in danger of Lucien doing exactly that.

My final point is that a lot of people have been saying it feels like we’re getting into the endgame of the campaign with the stuff that’s happening now. I agree. I also think it would be very tidy if Matt had wrapped Molly and Caleb’s story arcs around each other to end the campaign. Also having them defeat the literal past, the assembly and possibly a god would be a baller way to end it.

[muffintonic]

Alright, I think i’m done BOTW 2 spamming for today. Anywho, time for some thoughts in general!

1) I hated how the shrines in BOTW were so cold and dark compared to the bright and lively nature outside (I wish they had all looked like the Master Trials challenge where there were trees and stuff incorporated inside), so I hope if we’re forced to have dungeons they’ll be more like the Wind Waker ones. 2) I hope they don’t make us use the grappling hook or anything like in Wind Waker to move around the sky islands (I hated that mechanic). 3) I’m probably one of the few people who wanted less Zelda and more of the Champions in HWAOC since i’m only really attached to BOTW (and we saw a fair amount of Tetra in Wind Waker)/apparently Zelda’s been sidelined in all the other games, so i’m hoping in vain that we get more Champions material in BOTW 2. Also, Link could stand to have some more cutscenes centered around him as well (the few we got in some of the sidequests in BOTW were great). 4) I only really somewhat care about Riju and Sidon, so I won’t mind if the new gang gets sidelined in BOTW 2 (I still think Nintendo wasted the found family/band of brothers aspect on the dead characters--I love them so much and they’re all I want!! The problem is, they’re dead and I don’t really care all that much about their replacements!!! I dunno, maybe i’m hampered by the fact that I can replay the original champions’ memories whenever I want/read their diaries, but I can’t rewatch the new gang’s cutscenes AKA i’ve forgotten their characterization since they don’t talk to me much now that the game’s over). It’d be great if they have some weaving storylines in BOTW 2 that will get me more invested in them, but currently i’m not that interested. 5) Speaking of which, I know it’s 100% not going to happen, but goddang if I don’t want the Champions to have been returned to life. Nintendo totally squandered HWAOC by not making it a true prequel/canon to BOTW (the Champions Ballad confirmed that the Divine Beasts had trials in order to be synced to the champs, so the new gen use of them wouldn’t have happened without that + Mipha thought Link had changed in BOTW yet says in HWAOC that he hasn’t changed + some scenes like “Champion Revali’s Song” never happened at all/got replaced with alternative scenes that really changed some dynamics + basically all of Revali’s time-relative characterization from his diary/pre-100 years of solitude got thrown out + I feel like Daruk got totally sidelined), so i’m still craving that Champions content. Also, I feel like it’s totally unfair that Zelda came out of 100 years totally unaged while everyone else died. Life seems to really suck for people in the LoZ universe who aren’t chosen by divine powers. 6) They’d better keep it open world and non-linear. I can’t go back to being forced to backtrack/trudge through things, I just can’t. BOTW was everything i’ve ever dreamed about in a game (truly open world + non-linear + interactive + meaningful story + lots of outfits + beautiful landscapes) with Skyrim previously being the only thing that came close to what I wanted, so I really hope BOTW 2 doesn’t deviate too much from that. 7) I really liked Kass in BOTW, but i’m not sure what direction they’d go with him in BOTW 2/i’d be fine if he sat BOTW 2 out. I worked so hard to complete all his quests in BOTW so he’d go back home to his family, GODDANGIT, KASS. 8) Someone mentioned that since the first trailer had underground aspects, we’re probably going to be playing as Zelda with the Slate there, and I agree. They didn’t make a playable model for her in HWAOC for nothing. 9) I want to be able to stable the deer and bears and stuff, but I know that won’t happen. Being able to ride the moose and rhino things from the Hebra area probably won’t happen either, but I want to ride them!!! 10) I hope there’ll be at least a few new buildings and stuff in the towns/they’ve started construction on some areas in Central Hyrule, but I guess that’ll depend on how long it’s been in-universe since BOTW. Or maybe not, considering how there’s still Karson and Hudson even though Bolson retired from Bolson Construction--insta-towns like Tarrey Town could totally be feasible if they wanted! 11) I have one foot in the camp that believes there’ll be time shenanigans in BOTW 2. HWAOC totally threw me off with it being an alternate timeline, so i’m not sure whether we’re going to be experiencing that again or time travel itself, but I definitely won’t be surprised this time around if Nintendo goes that route again (and it would be super interesting to see the Link from 10,000 years ago). I’m not entirely convinced that the Link we see exploring the sky in the second trailer isn’t our Link, mainly because he seems to still have on the blue boxers from BOTW. 12) I also heard that maybe this will be the last LoZ game ever since something something Demise something Skyward Sword something something lore from games i’ve only vaguely looked into (i’ve only ever played BOTW --> Wind Waker --> HWAOC)??? If so, it kind of sucks that I came in just when they started making games with playstyles palatable to me (I had to look up every single thing when playing Wind Waker, but BOTW let me solve things according to MY logic/I missed being able to explore in HWAOC), but at least it’ll end on a super high note/I won’t experience later disappointment, I guess. If BOTW 2 involves breaking the reincarnation cycle for the Triforcers, I would be really surprised. (On a related note, Nintendo making Ganondorf good would also be a 100% shock to me, but it would be great to end on that as a subversion. Yes, I want them to bring back the semi-complicated Ganondorf from Wind Waker.) 13) I hope they don’t rush releasing it. I heard they pushed back BOTW originally (I got it in 2019), but it came out fantastic for it! I know COVID’s been affecting things, so I really hope they’re treating their staff right and are mindful of crunch. 14) I want even more outfits (there seem to be at least two new ones, if the variant of the Hylian Tunic crossed with Link’s Champion’s Tunic counts). Give me all the outfits!!! Also, I hope we get even more hair variations in addition to the hair down option (which is all i’ve ever wanted since I saw the mod that altered the Ancient Helmet). 15) I wonder if we’re going to get a bonus for having both BOTW and HWAOC save data. 16) I wonder if we’re going to be keeping the Champions’ skills. I’m going to miss being super overpowered, if not. 17) I hope Nintendo doesn’t cave in and make surfaces climbable in the rain. Having that limiter is more realistic and Link would otherwise be too overpowered with a super climbing ability. 18) I liked BOTW’s scattered music that got more noticeable in populated areas because it was fitting for the post-apocalyptical/nature aspect. Hearing your footsteps in an open field and the buzzing of insects was super nice and prevented me from getting music fatigue (which i’d probably experience since whenever I play BOTW it’s for 5-10 hours at a time). I hope Nintendo either keeps that or makes audio options. 19) I heard that BOTW 2 is going to be super dark or something, and i’m okay with dark, but not GRIMdark, so I hope it doesn’t go that far. From what we’ve seen in the second trailer it still looks beautiful, but I hope it doesn’t do that thing that some games do where after the midpoint/a certain story point all the scenery permanently changes to be dark and scary (that’ll seriously hamper post-game playability for me if so). 20) If they expand on the Zonai, that would be super cool! Doubly cool if the time travel shenanigans involve them/ancient Link being one! 21) I kind of want windstorms to be a weather feature. We had lightning, heat, and cold, but no wind! No, I don’t count the wind geysers and the occasional breeze in Tabantha. 22) I want a chest in my house to hold more weapons than just the gear mounts. BOTW only had enough mounts for the champions’ gear, but it also had rare items like the Kite Shield and Forest Dweller’s Sword that you can’t get anymore once you use them up! 23) I want to be able to stable my horses at my house. What’s the point of that little area if you can’t stable your horse there! 24) Speaking of Link’s house: where is Zelda going to live? If the castle’s not reconstructed, it’d be neat if Link adds an extension to his house for her. 25) I hope they open up part-time jobs (think Mabinogi) as an option to earn rupees. Having to hunt for Luminous Stone deposits or feed Trott to make money can be such a chore. I think some of BOTW’s minigames/sidequests might count as those, but those minigames were either frustrating if your goal is to earn money (since most of them cost money to play in the first place and the mechanics weren’t always easy), or didn’t earn that much in general. 26) I wonder if Kilton is going to have updated items since the monsters seem to have changed. 27) I want to be able to dive underwater (mainly so I can explore the beautiful reefs over at Lurelin). A dive meter like the one from Super Mario Sunshine would be cool. Also, it’d doubly be neat if you had a separate stamina wheel for swimming and could permanently upgrade your swim/diving stamina (the speed+ swimming items just consumed your stamina faster, which was a pain)! 28) It’s definitely too late for this, but it’s a shame that the Hylians have so many face/body/hair and outfit variations, but the Zora, Rito, and Gorons don’t. The Gerudo were kind of okay with the hair and body variations, but the other races seemed to have a serious copy-paste problem. I guess technically some of the more important NPCs (ones with quests/cutscene triggers) had different coloring, but they were severely lacking in clothing variation. Also, the only old Rito was the elder??? At least the Gorons and Zora had some old folks besides their leader walking around. Very weird, but I don’t think BOTW 2 can fix any of this. 29) I wonder how they’re going to do the final boss battle, considering how epic/cinematic the BOTW 2x battle was. What can top fighting (on horseback, no less) a giant, flaming boar made out of malice? 30) I wonder what the Yiga are going to be up to, considering how Ganondorf seems to be somewhat kicking in BOTW 2.

[2sunchild2]

The Remnants

Guess the show lol

Lowkey not v happy w/ it but I wanted to post something

Long ago, in a time long forgotten by mankind, magic ruled over all. Witches and wizards were seeing aiding and cursing people. Giants roamed the lands. Werewolves, vampires, ghosts and ghouls alike, haunted the night. Humans themselves were gifted with the supernatural power. But only four weld the most powerful magic of them all.

Blessed by the gods, four maidens were given a specific power, each one corresponding to a season of the year. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. Many seemed them out, to use and manipulate for their own selfish needs. They managed to kidnap one of the maidens, unaware of the chaos that soon followed. Pain and destruction washed over the world. Death loomed over every kingdom, house and family.

Upon seeing the destruction caused by the four maidens, the humans decided their magic was too strong and powerful to be contained. They had found and killed off the other three in hopes that it would rid the world of their power.

The gods were furious when the humans presented the corpses of their blessed chosens, they cursed mankind, stripping them from their magical abilities, and they promised, the four maidens’ magic will live on, impossible to erase, merely transferred from one woman to another.

The humans, upset by this turn of events, began opposing the gods in every possible way, which only angered the deities more. They wiped the world clean of living beings, disgusted by their creations and, in a beam of divine light, they left the depressing planet, leaving nothing but two moons, one of which had begun to break apart.

We are the remnants of what once was, of what will never be.

——————————————————————

Punch.

Punch punch.

“You know, you should really wrap your hands, this isn’t healthy,” Chloe leaned on the doorframe and crossed her arms, “You could seriously get hurt.”

Punch.

Punch punch.

“Oh, so we’re in a ‘Shut up Chloe I don’t feel like talking to you’ mood today?”

Punch.

Chloe tilted her head sideways and hummed, “Hmmm, I wonder what Kagami will say when she sees you punching the life out of that bag with your bare hands.”

The punching stopped. Marinette let her hands rest at her sides and took deep breaths, in a desperate attempt to regulate her breathing again. How long had she been in the gym? One look at her bruised hands and she knew the answer. Too long.

“What is it Chloe,” she asked the blonde, not bothering to look back as she grabbed her bottle and slowly drank the cool water, enjoying the feeling of it going down her throat.

Chloe sobered up and walked over to the blue-haired girl, grabbing the medical kit on her way. She sat Marinette down and began to gently work on her bruised hands. She could feel her teammate’s impassive gaze.

Chloe took a deep breath, “Fu called,” she watched her friend’s other hand twitch, “he said he’s expecting us to report on what’s happening with the winter maiden… and if she’s being targeted,” she put the now bandaged hand down and began working on the other one, “he wants us to meet with him at Dupont.”

“Is Kagami aware of this?” Her friend asked, checking the bandages on her hands. Chloe gave a nod in reply. Marinette got up and stretched her arms out, “well then, it seems Dupont is getting a visit from a few old students.”

————————————————

“Agreste,” the blonde man turned around to see his general at the door, “Are you aware of the stop we have to make at Valentino?”

Felix nodded, “The kingdom of Love is harboring the winter maiden, is that correct?”

His General nodded firmly, “You and I will be escorted to Dupont to discuss this matter with Master Fu,” at the sight of Felix’s scowl, the general continued, “he’s a respectable man, Felix, he knows what he’s doing. I’m willing to give you an hour to pack before we depart.”

“Yes, father,” Felix whispered to himself father the general left. He looked out his window, to see the breathtaking view of the snowy kingdom of Arise. He sighed and left to pack his bags, at least he will be reunited with his brother, even if it were for a brief moment.

——————————————

Adrien had been chatting with Bridgette when it happened. They were walking along the courtyard when he noticed Arise ships landing at the port of the school. He stopped talking and stared at the ship, seeing the drone-soldiers march out while being led by the general, though he was only hoping to see one face.

“Felix!”

He grabbed Bridgette by the arm and began racing towards the stiff blonde who just exited the ship, chanting his name over and over again. Saying Bridgette was confused would’ve been the understatement of the century. Who is this man? And why does Adrien know him?

They slowed down as they neared the man, “Felix!” The blonde boy yelled again, causing the other to turn his way. Adrien walked up to him, smiling like he’s been offered all the presents a fifteen-year-old boy could ask for.

“Adrien,” the man replied with a nod, “how have you been?”

Adrien beamed, “Well, I’m at the top of my class in monster theory, I’m in the top five ranks for—”

“No you dolt,” Felix whacked the boy upside his head, “I asked how you’re doing, not what ranking you are. Are you eating well? Are you getting enough sleep?” Felix led the boy towards the school entrance, questioning his brother in his well-being, if he’s enjoying his classes and if he’s made any friends.

Adrien smiled and gestured to Bridgette, who had been silently following them, “This is Bridgette! She’s the team leader!”

Bridgette jumped and tried to address the older man formally, “I… uhh…” she curtsied clumsily, almost falling over, “merry— uhhh, very! Nice to make… your… acquaintance? Sir?”

Felix raised a brow at the girl, “This is the famed leader of team Miraculous?” Bridgette sweat dropped.

“That was my aunt… uhhh, we’re team Prodigious,” Bridgette answered hesitantly. Bridgette glanced over to see Allegra waving are her and muttered a quick “excuse me” before leaving. Felix merely gave her a nod and kept walking, the drones following close behind.

That is, until one of their heads were ripped off their body and thrown on the ground.

“This is what you call a high tech super soldier?” A rough feminine voice called out, causing Felix to stop in his tracks. He turned around and glared at the woman.

“Do you know you just destroyed Arise military property?” He questioned, his voice low and dangerous, “I could have you arrested.”

The woman let out a laugh and took a swig from her flask before replying, “what are you gonna do sweetheart? Sue me? A bunch of stuck up pussies.” She laughed out loud, the two other women she came with decided to let her have her fun before they attended business.

Felix glared at the blue hard woman and unsheathed his sword, “Say one more disrespectful thing about us, and I’ll cut off your tongue,” his piercing blue eyes narrowing as she flipped her hair, showing everyone the scar on her left eye.

“Make me.”

—————————————

Adrien couldn’t believe his eyes, this woman, though beautiful he had to admit, had come out of nowhere, destroyed Arise property, challenged his brother and was now dueling with him. She had pulled out a yo-yo of all things, but then she pushed a button and it became a glowing staff.

They circled around each other for a moment, waiting to see who would strike first, and all the woman had to do was smirk for Felix to lose his temper and strike.

They had been fighting for a good two minutes already, there was a crater in the courtyard and rubble littered the stone floor. She was skilled, he had to admit, but Felix had strict military training, he should be capable of winning.

Bridgette heard the sound of an explosion in the courtyard and ran back to check if Adrien was okay. She saw him at the front of the crowd and, while struggling, she pushed through to get to him.

“What’s going on?” She asked him breathless.

“Some crazy woman came here and challenged my brother! They’re dueling as we speak.”

Bridgette gave him an odd look, “really? Who’s he fighti— OH MY GOD THAT’S MY AUNT!” Adrien gave her an incredulous look and opened his mouth to reply but Bridgette, without meaning to, interrupted him, already invested in the fight, “Kick his butt Marinette!”

Adrien huffed, “Show her some respect Felix!” He wanted to support his brother, and he wanted him to win.

Marinette stood on one end of the courtyard, the opposite side to Felix, his stance was ready to pounce, he activated his aura and a dark wisp of shadows spreads from his right hand, to the rest of his body. Marinette’s smirks, but doesn’t activate her aura. She shifts her weapon to a scythe, her eyes never leaving Felix’s and then, she stops, shiftiest the weapon back to a yo-yo and placing it back on her hip, earring a disappointed boo from the crowd.

She raises her hand and beckons Felix to come closer, in a fit of rage he does, and almost strikes her with his sword before being stopped by a very stern, “Agreste!”

“But sir, she started it,” Felix argued. The general looked at his son before settling his eyes on Marinette, who simply raised her hands up in defense.

“He’s the one to struck first, sir.”

The general’s mood did not shift, “You are here for a reason Marinette, don’t waste your time on silly games,” he turned around, but stopped, “ oh and do bring your friends with you, you’re here in business with the master,” he began walking away and let out a rough, “Agreste, come.”

Marinette wanted to let out a retort but her arm was grabbed by her niece, “Aunt Mari! You’re here! You didn’t tell me your we’re going to visit! I missed you! Did you miss me?” Her face was mere millimeters away from her face, eyes wide in excitement.

Marinette let out a smile and ruffled her hair, “No.”

Bridgette laughed as she slid down her arm to the ground and looked up at her, “ Are you staying for long?”

“I’m just here on business honey,” Marinette crouched down ruffled the girl’s hair affectionately before getting back up, “ Don't get into too much trouble okay?”

————————————

“I still can’t believe you’re allowed to listen to this sort of information,” Felix hissed, not too pleased with the fact that he just fought (and technically lost) someone in the same rank as his father.

Marinette shrugged and observed herself in the elevator mirror, “Fu needs a man on the inside, we’re the best for the job.”

Before he could retort, the elevator door opened and the duo was met with the deadpan looks of Fu, Marinette’s teammates, Marianne and General Gabriel.

This looks promising, Marinette mused.

Tag list uwu: @thyladyanput @gloriafee4 @slytherinsheashire @realrandomposts

[mittensmorgul]

Paging Mr. Werewolf

We were robbed of the Wayward spinoff, but s15 of Supernatural seems to be connecting the underpinning themes back into the main narrative. Rewatching 13.10 right now, and even from the opening scene, I can’t help but see Chuck’s hands all over the Wayward story and characters, and on s15 in some of the exact same ways. Like Chuck borrowed from an abandoned show, or in-narrative terms, an abandoned universe. The Bad Place. And I can’t help thinking of that world now as one of his abandoned drafts. The connection to that world was Kaia, and Chuck couldn’t quite figure out how to send Darth!Kaia back to her own world, or reunite her with her “dead” half.

But Claire and Kaia both are being mirrored in Eileen in s15, sometimes quite literally and directly. It breaks my heart that Eileen’s salvation has yet another casualty tied to it, in Kaia’s death and stranding in an “underworld” from which it seems there’s no hope of saving her now.

15.05, however, directly connects Wayward to Chuck’s “process” through the otherwise seemingly irrelevant-to-the-larger-narrative cold open to 13.10.

Claire shows up to rescue a kidnapped child from a pair of werewolf brothers (or at least they certainly seem like brothers) in a dilapidated and isolated cabin. The two werewolves bicker like brothers (one “playing with his food” by frightening the girl, the other chastising him for it while seemingly attending to more practical matters).

In 15.05, we know they’re werewolf brothers Chuck used as specifically as “foreshadowing” to show Sam and Dean a parable about themselves, and how Chuck intends their “story” to end. One werewolf brother kills the other. Those werewolves also lived in an isolated cabin together, but it was warm and homey, and they’d isolated themselves intentionally. They didn’t want to eat humans-- or at least one of them didn’t. The other had been humoring his brother, but then confessed that he had no intention to stop feeding on human hearts. And his brother killed him for it, and then killed himself. Because it became clear after both brothers were dead that THEY weren’t the point of this hunt, it was the supposedly innocent victim the brothers had kidnapped that was the actual danger to them.

In 13.10, Claire nearly missed the third werewolf while she was distracted untying their innocent victim, but she had just enough warning by the girl’s reaction that there was another danger in that cabin, and she easily pulls out her hidden gun and kills the third werewolf.

In 15.05, Sam and Dean never saw the true danger coming, Chuck’s “mole” in the story, that thier innocent victim was neither, and was actually Lilith acting directly and without artifice as Chuck’s Plot Device. Her goal was to destroy the one weapon they had against Chuck, and torturing them like a cat playing with a couple of mice was just gravy.

Nobody ever said Chuck was a subtle author.

In this way, though, Eileen is being paralleled to Claire. Claire wanted to hunt alone, to prove herself, to do what she could to save people and hunt things. That’s very much what Eileen had always done before becoming wrapped up in the BMoL nonsense that brought about her original death. Her communication came too late for Sam and Dean to have helped her (they only received her letter asking for sanctuary after she was killed). She’s also paralleled to Claire through Patience and her vision of the future.

Patience gave up everything-- her education, her relationship with her father, her entire life as she knew it-- to go to Jody and warn her about the vision she had of Claire’s death. Patience... is paralleled to Sam in 15.06-15.08, and his “agreement” with Eileen.

CLAIRE: If this is about me hunting alone, I know I should’ve called more, but I’m fine. I’m good! I’m safe. JODY: No, you’re not! Patience had a vision, that’s why she’s here. PATIENCE: I… I saw you die. [We see a flashback of PATIENCE’S vision. It is set in THE BAD PLACE, we see forest, a gigantic claw, a spear piercing a body and an unconscious CLAIRE in JODY’S arms.] JODY: Claire, she’s the real deal. CLAIRE: So every vision you have, it always comes true? PATIENCE: I don’t know. I’m still figuring all this out. CLAIRE: So you might be wrong. JODY: Claire this is serious, I’m trying to protect you! CLAIRE: Jody, that’s always your excuse. Every time we’d go out on a hunt together you’d take care of the monster while I’d just wait in the car. JODY: That happened one time! CLAIRE: It happened every time, Jody! You, you’ve never even seen what I can do. JODY: Claire, if I put the brakes on you it’s because you can’t go dive bombing into every fight… CLAIRE: Yes I can! That’s how you save people. Sitting back and making the perfect plan, losing time, that’s how people end up dead. JODY: And if you end up dead? [Both of them are now standing. JODY is visibly upset.] CLAIRE: I won’t. JODY: Claire, you can’t just run away from this. CLAIRE: Watch me.

Sorry for the length of this snippet, but it’s all there. Well, all except for this bit:

PATIENCE: Those monsters? They’re coming, lots of them. KAIA: They’re after me. CLAIRE: Then we should stay and fight. PATIENCE: There’s too many, they’ll kill us. CLAIRE: Maybe, maybe not. PATIENCE: Look, I gave up a lot to come here. To do what was right, to save you. You want to brush that off? You want to think I’m a fake, fine. But I’m telling you right now we’re all in danger. KAIA: Claire…

Because this is EXACTLY how I have seen Sam’s “visions” in s15. And exactly how I’ve seen his resurrection of Eileen, too. Just as Patience saw her own visions, and accounted for her own actions toward Claire. She gave up a lot to try and save Claire, and Claire... was just... dismissing that sacrifice. By the end of the episode, though, they had “reached an agreement.” Exactly like the agreement Sam and Eileen seem to have reached. Sam wasn’t being “overprotective” of Eileen, he was being reasonably protective based on everything he’d sacrificed to bring her back, and what saving her has become a symbol of to him as a result.

Eileen’s salvation isn’t his descent to the underworld, it was-- like saving Claire was for Patience-- The Illusion of Success. Claire was never the one in danger. It was Kaia all along, but Patience had an “incomplete vision,” that led her to believe that it was Claire in danger. Like Sam’s visions in s15, that seem incomplete, that only show confusing repetition of the theme of him and Dean killing each other over and over in different alternate scenarios of reality. Like Patience did in 13.10, Sam still lacks the complete picture to understand the context of what he’s seeing.

I’m looking forward to Sam’s talk with Chuck in 15.09, where he will finally understand the full context of what they’re actually up against in “Chuck’s story.”

Going back for a moment to The Illusion of Success, I’ve been thinking a lot about the meta @flyingfish1 wrote a while back (I believe the last update was during s12, actually) about The Heroine’s Journey. Because I believe with the re-incorporation of a lot of the Wayward themes into s15 that this is a structure that Supernatural has folded back into the narratives of TFW with a vengeance. For a quick refresher on this type of narrative, here’s a handy recap:

https://mythcreants.com/blog/using-the-heroines-journey/

And for more posts about Supernatural on the subject, starting with that original post I referenced above:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/heroine%27s+journey/chrono

Tell me this isn’t the journey all of TFW in s15, and honestly Chuck’s journey as well? And considering Chuck DIRECTLY painted crosshairs on Jody and Donna in 15.08 (apologies for the formatting, but the official transcript still isn’t posted so I’m working from my personal unfinished version, but this is the relevant bit of dialogue):

DONATELLO/CHUCK: Oh, Donatello's not here any longer. Hey, guys. It's Chuck. Prophets speak the word of God, sometimes indirectly. Sometimes they're my bluetooth. So, here's the thing. Usually, I really love our little... process. I toss something at you guys, and you slam it right back. It's fun, like tennis. With monsters. But this... Let this one go.

Or what?

CHUCK: Or I go all-powerful. Maybe not on you. Not right away. But, let's see, there's... Jody, Donna, Eileen. Pretty much everybody on your speed dial. So drop it. 'Kay?

Please also reference the post I made yesterday about 13.09 for additional reading on the subject of blood and death and monsters, and Chuck’s planned ending:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/189786572395/blood-and-death-and-monsters

The descent to the underworld of The Bad Place, and the descent to the underworld of Purgatory are beginning to look horrifyingly similar, yes?

Hell, and the Cage specifically with Michael’s return from the underworld, is Sam’s trial.

Purgatory and everything it represents from s8 is Dean’s trial.

Which leaves Cas... to confront his own trial, versus the Empty.

We’re going deeper and deeper through the layers here. TFW stood together in Hell, and failed. Dean and Cas will have to stand together in Purgatory (and I suspect they will fail on some level), and then Cas... I’m not going to speculate further outside of gesticulating wildly at what the logical progression of his personal arc must bring him to face.

The main thing I think it’s important to remember is that Chuck has deluded himself into thinking his story is a Hero’s Journey-- fighting the monster and returning victorious, but typically combined with a tragic loss. He’s entirely unaware of the fact that we’re not telling that story-- and HAVEN’T been telling that story-- since Amara was freed from her wrongful imprisonment. The Divine Feminine has returned to the universe to restore the balance, and this is now Her story to tell. If only Chuck will stop meddling in it and trying to make it all about him.

The goal of a Heroine’s Journey is, after all, the reintegration of the masculine and feminine, resulting in Union. The Heroine (male or female) must then fulfill the story by helping others find this balance themselves. And from the linked post about “Using the Heroine’s Journey,” the final step gives me hope that this is where Supernatural will find its ending:

“If it fits your story, this is also the time to discard your duality altogether. The heroine could reveal that it is false, arbitrary, or destructive.”

This seems to be where the narrative is pointing right now, at any rate. I wish I had enough time to address this more fully-- including Billie’s place in the story, as well as Mary’s, Rowena’s, and Amara’s. There’s just so much.

[nicotinewrites17]

Chapter One of my God AU (cross-posted on Ao3):

The Deity with the ebony hair swept into the room, purple eyes glaring at the God in front of him. They all thought they were so perfect, so powerful they weren’t answerable to the same rules that governed those below them. For the longest time, this was the case. But not anymore. Virgil and his people would make sure the Gods were controlled and/or laid to rest, no longer able to interfere in the lives of other species.

“Virgilius, please. If it’s power you want, it’s power you will get. Just, put down the knife. You don’t have to do this.”

Virgil smirked at Themis.

“What’s wrong Mother? Afraid of a little Death? You weren’t when you sent a plague and three fires to five kingdoms. Those poor people must have begged and pleaded with you, praying that you would be merciful and stop your torture. You didn’t though, did you? You killed millions just because a young boy- a boy of sixteen years- didn’t want to lie with you. Ethics of sleeping with a child put to the side, you are meant to be the Goddess of Justice. If Justice is corrupt, what does that say about the others? Someone needs to hold you to account. If no-one else wants to, then I’ll happily take the burden. It’s kind of ironic though, isn’t it? Death is more compassionate than Justice. Who knew that was possible?” Virgil stopped for a minute, pulling his weapon out of the strap on his leg. “Oh… and my name is Virgil. Virgilius died the day you cut me out of your family.”

Themis shook as Virgil slunk forwards, smirk giving way to a vicious grin. The dagger in his hand was more of a scythe, designed to separate the soul from the body. With a Divine Being such as Themis, however, a standard scythe had to be modified since their soul was so corrupted, power infecting them. Virgil and his partner created a new dagger for that reason. It was sharp and slightly curved, with an obsidian handle and scapolite jewels embedded in said handle. The blade itself was double-edged and cruel-looking, obsidian runes etched into it. It hummed with magic, the power reverberating in Virgil’s hand. Holding the dagger, he could understand how the Mother Goddess and the others became intoxicated by power. He was just thankful he had a partner who could stop him from being controlled by it.

“With the power of Syphon, I sentence Themis, Mother Goddess, Goddess of Justice and Order to a fate of Death. May the Spirits bless you into being reincarnated as a less power-hungry bitch.”

Virgil tapped the dagger against Themis’s neck. The reaction was instant. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and an orange aura curled off of her body, running down into the dagger. He had to brace himself as her magic ran into the weapon, the sheer strength causing his legs to want to buckle. Tears pricked his eyes as well, as he saw the Goddess who raised him becoming nothing but a soulless and magicless husk. He took the dagger away from her neck and gently wiped it, pulling his shadows around Mother and into Erebos. His legs collapsed underneath him, head pressed against the stone tiles of the Syphon Room (he really needed to create a new name). His body shook uncontrollably as he wept, heart breaking in his chest at what he did. He knew it was the right thing to do- Themis was the reason for millennia of suffering- but it still hurt.

“Hey love. It’s alright to cry. Let it out.”

Three of Janus’s hands played with his hair, the other three wrapping around his body. Virgil was glad ze was there, lurking in the shadows as he Syphoned Themis. Ze knew better than anyone else the complicated relationship he had with the once-Goddess. After all, ze was the one who took him in when he was kicked out of the family, shunned for his powers being ‘darker’ and more volatile than his siblings. Along with Hypnos- or Remy, as xe asked them to call xem- Janus taught Virgil how to control his power and that he was not less than just because he was Death. The three went on to form the Uprising, converting thousands of Gods against Themis and her Golden Family (as Remy dubbed them).

“I’m sorry for crying. I just… I thought I would be fine. She abandoned me so I shouldn’t love her.”

“She was still your mother-figure though, love. She raised you for twelve centuries. She may have abandoned you, but it’s only natural you have the reaction you’re having right now. If you didn’t, you’d be just as emotionless as your siblings.”

Virgil nodded, finally melting into Janus’s embrace. The sobs subsided and Janus gently dried Virgil’s face, kissing him on the cheek afterwards.

“Let’s go, love, yeah? We need to keep our energy up for tomorrow.”

Oh yeah. Tomorrow. The day where they’d finally sort out the corruption in the Otherrealms. The day they’d finally put right millennia of Themis’s wrongdoings. And also- unbeknownst to them- the day they’d meet their final soulmate.

[nadziejastar]

Isa’s TRUE Personality: The Beautiful, Tortured, Selfless Moon Goddess of Love (Part 1)

Saix’s weapons are an absolute goldmine of esoteric symbolism. There’s no way I can cover it all in one post; there’s just too much. But I want to do a series analyzing everything, to show just how differently his character ended up in canon, compared to how it was originally conceived. I think the original idea for Isa’s character and his relationship with Lea is extremely unique and utterly fascinating. According to the symbolism, Isa’s TRUE personality is exactly as the title describes. A tortured, beautiful, selfless Moon Goddess of Love who was clearly intended as a love interest for Lea.

Part 1: The Tortured Moon Goddess

Cool, collected, and mature beyond his age. He’s good friends with Lea.

— Jiminy’s Journal (Kingdom Hearts Union χ)

Saix’s title, Luna Diviner, is a reference to Selenomancy, named after the Goddess Selene. It is a specialized form of divination that examines the various aspects, phases, and appearances of the moon. According to diviners, moon phases are associated with certain personality types at the time of birth. There are several specific moon phases used as names for Saix’s weapons. Gibbous represents someone who is a healer and humanitarian. They care about other people; sometimes more than themselves. The pain and suffering of others is something that they are not only highly sensitive to, but also want to help transform.  

Balsamic Moon, is the waning crescent that is the trademark symbol on Isa’s jacket. It’s the final phase of the moon. This is a phase of decline and darkness—a rich opportunity for your soul to experience. It is considered the most Yin or Feminine phase. Balsamic means soothing or restorative. If you are born under this Moon, you will be aged and mature in some way. Balsamics are quiet, retiring and resilient; they are often seen as “old souls”. They are complex and wise beyond their years, as well as loners who usually only enjoy the company of a select group of people.  

New Moon is also known as the Dark Moon. It is the phase where the Moon’s energy is weakest. Even though the New Moon is invisible in the sky, those born under it are cloaked in darkness. They tend to lack self-awareness. They may be known for being selfish, callous, or unable to see things from other people’s perspectives. This weapon has the same shape as Berserker and Werewolf.

Saix’s Pandora Gear is Dichotomy. This word has several definitions. It means “a division or contrast between two things that are entirely different.” Or, “the phase of the moon in which half its disk appears illuminated.” It represents the clear division between the past and the present, Isa and Saix.   

Many of Saix’s weapons incorporate ♐︎ the astrological symbol of Sagittarius into them. I believe ♐︎ is meant to represent Lea. Sagittarius is a part of the Fire Trigon of the Zodiac. As an archer, he is said to never fail in hitting the mark. Sagittarius represents the centaur Chiron, an immortal centaur, who was renowned for his gentleness. After being accidentally shot by a poison arrow, he was in agony, but unable to find release in death. So he decided to offer himself as a substitute for Prometheus, who was punished by the gods for giving fire to man. Zeus saw the kindness of Chiron and immortalized him in the stars.

Axel’s weapon Prometheus is a combination of ♐︎ and the symbol of Mars ♂, and ALSO ♋ the Cancer symbol. Mars was known as the Roman god of war. He was said to love the violence and conflict. He carried a spear that was often depicted as covered in blood. He was the patron God of soldiers and was worshiped prior to battle. Soldiers in the Roman Army prayed to Mars before battle, hoping that he would protect them and lead them to victory.

Selene is shaped like a torch combined with ♐︎ the symbol of Sagittarius. In ancient Greek mythology, Selene is the Titan goddess of the Moon and is said to drive her glowing chariot powered by beautiful white horses across the sky each night. Her symbols were the crescent moon, a chariot, and a torch. Selene was very well known mostly because of her beauty. She was a very peaceful goddess and did not approve of war. Her personality was said to be secluded and timid.

Most Ancient Greeks looked to her for healing. Selene also had many powers that you would not think a moon goddess would have. Mythology states that she had powers surrounding dreams, she could harness the ability to awaken intuition and she could also catalyze psychic visions. As the patron of femininity, she was known to have the power to ease childbirth, to inspire love, to mask reality, and to pierce illusion.

Artemis has been commonly associated with Selene. She was the goddess of the Moon, the ruling planet of Cancer, and the daughter of Zeus. Her personality was individualistic and free-spirited, yet kind. She was a patron goddess of hunting and childbirth, and she was also the protectress of little children and baby animals. In Greek mythology, Artemis was usually portrayed as a very tall, beautiful young maiden with a hunting bow the shape of a crescent moon and golden arrows. She is often accompanied by either a stag or a dog. One of her special talents is calming animals, meaning that when she walks near them they come towards her and become calm.

Artemis is one of the ‘virgin’ androgynous goddesses, along with Athena and Vesta. Due to her well-integrated masculine energy and independence, she possesses an introverted temperament, preferring solitude. She was also known to be friends with mortals. Her assets were courage, confidence, and strength (both mental and physical). Her weaknesses were vengeance, impulsiveness, and being quite aloof. She was afraid of men, which is why she used to live in the woods and only went for walks at night. She rarely had any male companions; she only loved one person, Orion, but she ended up unintentionally killing him due to trickery. In her pain she appealed to Zeus to immortalize Orion in the stars so she could be with him.

A quiet and cool-headed youth. Though he does come out of his shell when talking to his best friend Lea, toward others he is distant and untalkative. Often scolds Lea and his contrasting personality.

— description from KHBBS Light Novel 2 (Best Friends)

The design for the weapon Astrologia incorporates ♋, the sigil of Cancer into its design. Cancer is associated with Artemis, who is similar to people born under the sign of Cancer. They are very modest, shy, and extremely emotional individuals who love children and pets. Artemis exemplifies the caring, nurturing and protective qualities of the mother. Deeply intuitive and sentimental, Cancer can be one of the most challenging Zodiac signs to get to know, but they are sympathetic and very attached to the people they keep close.  

Being ruled by the Moon, they are mysterious— they can struggle with sharing their innermost feelings. Cancer was known as the “dark sign” because of the obscured visibility of its constellation in the night sky. They have a tendency to brood and can be very moody and pessimistic. They often don’t have enough coping and defensive mechanisms for the outer world, so they can be prone to introversion and slow to warm to strangers. Cancers are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood. The crab is a perfect symbol for the Cancer sign, symbolizing how a sensitive soul hides beneath a tough exterior.

A Cancer is caring and vulnerable, however callous they may appear on the outside. They are introspective and serene folk, who love solitude yet care gently for the people surrounding them. This receptive nature, however, makes them easily hurt. Cancer is the most emotional sign of the zodiac but at times they might appear icy and separated. Empathy for others is likely to be strong, and they will have an intuitive ability to sense what others need. They have a tendency to be quite clingy. Cancer’s shyness comes from their insecurity and deep fear of rejection. They are a cautious and shrewd people. 

Moon Rabbit is known as the Jade Rabbit in China. The Jade Emperor disguised himself into a poor, starving old man and begged for food from monkey, otter, jackal, and rabbit. Rabbit could only gather grass. Knowing well enough that grass can’t be offered as food to humans, rabbit decided to offer its own body, sacrificing itself in the fire the man had started. Somehow, though, rabbit wasn’t burned. The old man suddenly revealed himself to be the great Jade Emperor. Touched deeply by rabbit’s selfless sacrifice, he sent it to the moon to become the immortal Jade Rabbit.

More than just cute, fluffy, and white, the Jade Rabbit is a sign of selflessness, piety, and sacrifice. The Jade Rabbit is on the moon so that no matter where we are on Earth, we always have the ethics of righteousness and self-sacrifice to look up to. In East Asia, the Jade Rabbit is a widespread cultural symbol. When the bunny isn’t busy making immortality elixirs, it keeps the beautiful goddess Chang’e company in the Moon Palace.

Saix’s weapon Crescent is based on the Phoenix’s wings. This weapon represents the albedo stage of magnum opus. Following the chaos of the nigredo stage, albedo involves the washing away of impurities. In this process, the subject is divided into two opposing principles to be later coagulated to form a unity of opposites during rubedo. The aura is light blue, meaning truthfulness and serenity.

Psychologist Carl Jung equated the albedo stage with “unconscious contrasexual soul images; the anima in men and animus in women”. Jung described the animus as the unconscious masculine side of a woman, and the anima as the unconscious feminine side of a man, with each transcending the personal psyche. This makes albedo a phase where insight into the shadow side of the self is gained, while inflated ego is removed from the psyche.

So, that makes it VERY interesting that the weapon has a similar shape to ⚸. Even if they never planned to actually show it explicitly, the writers seemed to be inspired by Black Moon Lilith. Which raises very disturbing (though very interesting) implications about what happened during the experiments on the “darkness of the heart”. It would certainly explain how Axel’s personality became so warped. It would also explain why he didn’t find Saix’s personality change that unexpected, either, and why Axel seemed to always give him the benefit of the doubt no matter how cold he was. 

Astronomically, Lilith is considered an asteroid. Yet, some astrologers identify Lilith with the “Black Moon”. It’s the mathematical point that’s exactly in between the earth and the moon–essentially, empty space. Astrologically, it represents the cosmic void; the very energy Black Moon Lilith embodies. Psychologically, it is a point that represents how we react to emptiness and isolation. It brings up deep and primal issues like repressed feelings of rejection, rage, and the refusal to give in. This particular archetype is associated with sex, death, obsession, addiction, transformation, resurrection, magic, the occult and the taboo. These things are seen as the entry way between the spiritual dimension (or the underworld), and life on the physical plane.

Put simply, Lilith is the dark side of the moon. She represents animus, the feminine shadow side—What society rejects as appropriate for the feminine, Lilith takes up. The vilest manifestations of sexuality like pedophilia, rape, and satanic ritual abuse are all the domain of Lilith. She was actually said to be a hermaphrodite, so she could act as both a succubus and an incubus. Trauma based mind-control, through the use of sexual torture is another area connected with Black Moon Lilith. She symbolizes the transformation that occurs after going through a dark night of the soul. Usually, the trigger is great suffering, mourning, pain or torture. I can only imagine what poor Lea and Isa must have gone through.

Astrologically, Chiron (Sagittarius) stands in total opposition to Black Moon Lilith and all she represents. He is a symbol to remind us to look at the vulnerabilities we face in light of our connection to Divinity. Through the exploration of our wounds, we are called to heal all that creates a rift or disconnection with our Spirit.

[skydiving-without-a-parachute]

Stage Two: Anger (ch. 2)

Chapter two of the five-chapter Johnlock-series. Find chapter one on my masterlist, link in my bio.

Fandom: Sherlock Holmes, BBC Sherlock | Genre: Even more angst | Word count: 1168 words | Trigger warnings: Gun pointing, threats, post-suicide

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"Angels are calling, hard rain is falling Covering my tears and my pain"

The past week had been rough, to say the least. There was a heavy silence surrounding everyone close to Sherlock Holmes. Mycroft buried himself in his work, not expressing the emotions everyone still knew was there. The Holmes parents stayed indoors, mourning together, not welcoming guests or even answering the telephone to receive condolences. Even Donovan and Anderson were affected at work, mostly due to Detective Inspector Lestrade being absolutely shattered. Heaven knew he tried to keep himself and his division together, but beneath a cracking surface, he was crumbling into tiny pieces. He had cared a hell of a lot more, than he thought he had let on. He allowed his team to call Sherlock a freak. He should have given Sherlock more support. Now it was too late to tell Sherlock that he was like a little brother or a protégé to him. Molly Hooper was still having sudden outbursts of tears while working at the morgue. A few days later she would resign, not being able to work the space without seeing Sherlock's slender form underneath a sheet, laying on the slab.

And then there was John Watson. A dark, dangerous John Watson. Sally Donovan had warned Watson, that one day they would be standing around a corpse, and Sherlock would be the one to have put it there. That Watson was to watch his back with this psychopath. A sociopath, the consulting detective would later correct. What everyone seems to fail to realize, was that John was a soldier. There was no such thing as an ex-soldier, John was and would always be a soldier. Nerves of steel, a master shooter, and a strong moral compass; Not unable to crumble under the highest of pressure, though. He had been trained to kill. A weapon in his hand was just an extended part of his body, he was one with his weapons. John was also a doctor; A patient, warm-hearted, caring doctor; A healer. Safe to say, it took a lot to shut off the healer, and bring out the cold-blooded soldier. After being discharged from the army, John had found only one thing that was capable of doing that, and it was Sherlock Holmes. To be more spesific, Sherlock Holmes in danger. There was nothing on Earth that could stop John from protecting Sherlock.

Unbeknownst to John, Sherlock had seen him as a guardian angel with a gun. Deep in Sherlock's mind palace there had been a room exclusively for all the times he had been in distress, and John had burst through a door gun-first to rescue him and save the day. The man was a revelation himself; Tall and slender, dark curls of an angel cast out of heaven, and cheekbones to die for underneath a pale, marble-like skin, and yet, he saw John with a gun as an absolutely divine sight. Oh, there were so many things John had never gotten around to tell Sherlock, but even more things Sherlock never got to tell John.

A knock on the door of 221B snapped John out of his thoughts. In the blink of an eye, John got out of his chair, grabbed his Sig Sauer and pointed it with a straight arm square between the eyes of an unassuming Lestrade. "Jesus christ, John! It's me, Greg!" "I can see that", John answered bitterly, still not lowering his weapon, despite the Detective Inspector asking him to. Repeatedly. Had the soldier seen anything but red, he would have noticed how Lestrade was finally realizing that Sherlock had never been the dangerous one. John Watson was. There was a shade of fear in Lestrade's voice, when he raised his hands in surrender and asked John again. "If you would just have done your bloody job, Sherlock would still be alive", John growled like an animal, the voice rumbling deep down from inside him. He was angry, and Lestrade was now sure, he wouldn't be leaving the apartment alive. He tried lowering his other hand slowly, but John shot him a warning glance. "Don't even think about drawing your piece on me. You'll be dead before ever reaching it, and you know it."

"I didn't kill Sherlock, John. I didn't save him either, but I did not kill Sherlock", Lestrade broke the silence. He took a step closer to John, trying to get through the skin of the soldier to the civilian doctor he was friends with. "Stay the hell back!" Lestrade stopped dead in his tracks. John was definitely not messing around, he was aware of his actions and clearly had some strong emotions for Lestrade. "John... John, please, put down the gun. You won't shoot me." "Why the hell would I not shoot you?" "Because I'm not the enemy!" It was not Lestrade's turn to snap. Quite the bold move for someone, who has a gun aimed at their head. The soldier was cracking, feeling hot tears fill him dead eyes, but his hand never even flinched. A thought occurred Lestrade, but he dismissed it immediately. He knew better than trying to relieve a soldier of his gun. "John, nothing you do can bring Sherlock back. Want to shoot me? Go ahead, John, see if it brings Sherlock back."

After what seemed to be an eternity, John lowered his weapon-holding arm until it hung by his side, still staring Lestrade in the eye. Detective Inspector let out a relieved sigh and lowered his own arms, silently thanking God for sparing his life. John sacked back down in his chair, hiding his face into his hands, one of them still holding the Sig. Lestrade approched him, still a bit cautious, and gently pried the gun out of John's hand. The man was too emotional to even notice it. "I can't believe his gone", John said quietly, startled by the hand on his shoulder blade, massaging warmly. "I know, John. I miss him too."

John stayed at 221B, his fortress of solitude. Even Mrs. Hudson didn't dare to attempt communication with him. She did however smuggle some food into the fridge when she was sure John had blacked out after some heavy drinking or he was out to get some more liquor. It was the only thing he went out for. He drank with a gun in his hand, he slept with it tucked under his pillow, he left it on the sink those few times he showered. Lestrade hadn't been by since the last time, and Mary seemed to had forgotten she was married. Truth was, that as much as Mary loved John, she didn't want to sleep in the same bed as the Sig. She didn't want to walk into the bedroom after having a glass of water in the middle of the night, only to come back and have the gun aimed at her head. She had decided to give John time to get over his anger. She knew what was coming next, and she would be there for him, when it happened.