#just out of general allegiances

[muirneach]

we could get carlos/holger AND carlos/jack AND sincaraz matches in the same tournament……… cincy you made such a messy messy draw i do love you. another win for polyamory i suppose

[communistkenobi]

a prof in the department retired last year and was like just raid my office for whatever you want idc im not cleaning it out so it was like book whalefall. and because nobody in my department cares about theory i got to take all of his books on states and revolutions. I’m finally getting around to looking through them and he had some gooooood fucking books dude, I got Lineages of the Absolutist State by Perry Anderson, States and Social Revolutions by Theda Skocpol, Social Origins of Dictatorships and Democracies by Barrington Moore Jr, an edited collection on apartheid, and a book about settler colonial policy in Canada

[sporeclan]

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First moon(s) of 2024!!! WOOO!!!

[plaguegirll]

americans love a good conspiracy what’s with that. like are they just the loudest about it or are they particularly weak to the call of the tinfoil hat

[deanpinterester]

rewatching the scorch trials for reasons and it's actually appalling how this movie had a budget of $61 million and looked and sounded amazing while allegiant, also a YA dystopian movie with a similar plot of the characters travelling through a lifeless desert wasteland, looked like absolute ass with a budget of $110 million

[iwieldthesword]

I need to talk about this because it's making me feel insane.

Last week, my white leftist goyisch friends sat me, a wholeass antizionist Jew, down for a "talk" because they "needed to check in about Palestine" and make sure "our values aligned before we hung out again". They apparently needed to "suss out" where I stood on Palestinian rights, despite having had several conversations about Palestine and them being some of my closest friends. They needed to check, to search for and uncover my true values, because I had said some "disturbing things" that had made them "suspicious".

Disturbing things included:

Supporting IfNotNow which is a "liberal zionist organization" because it normalizes Jewish heritage in the Levant

Not bringing Palestine up enough, despite them also not bringing it up (this was apparently a test)

Mentioning that the Houthi's flag talks about cursing all Jews

Saying Stalin was antisemitic because of the "all the paw-grihms"

...and apparently other things they wouldn't specify, but had been tracking for months.

To clarify, I am an antizionist Jew from three generations of antizionist Jews. I have been vocal in my support of Palestinian liberation and in my condemnation both of Israel's actions and its violent founding as a state, and of zionism in many of its forms. I am a regular donor to Palestinian and Jewish NGOs and advocate for Jewish antizionism in person, at temple, and online. I have been talking about Palestinian liberation before they could point to Gaza on a map. But they needed to make sure, they needed to "suss out", they needed to check. And it's notable that the majority of moments that made them suspicious of me were times where I talked about antisemitism: not about Palestinian liberation, not about Israeli decolonization, not about anything actually relevant to Palestine. It was talking about antisemitism that made them check to see if I was a cryptozionist.

One of the most pervasive and insidious forms of antisemitism is the idea that Jews are inherently untrustworthy and suspicious. You have to constantly be on guard, track what they say and do, "suss out" the real truth. You have to keep them in line and and watch them carefully because they're liars and sneaks, and if you're not looking closely they'll return to their real values (and drag you down with them). This is where the idea of "cryptozionist" comes from and what it's directly building off of: the inherent untrustworthiness of Jews and the need to check. Because no matter how close you become you can't actually trust them, and any upstanding gentile should make sure to avoid associating with Jews before "sussing out" their real allegiances and intentions. You have to make them turn out their pockets, just in case.

I'm the first and only Jew they actually were friends with; I know because they've told me (strangely proud of it in the way white Americans are proud of that kind of thing). They've asked me questions about Judaism and fawned over how beautiful and unique it was for me to be connected to my community and culture. Pre-October 7th, one of them had even mentioned being interested in coming to services at my temple. She still has my copy of our siddur. But now she needed to "check" before she could be seen with me in public. Which is what it was: it wasn't a "you're my friend and I need to give you some feedback because you're fucking up" kind of intervention (which is normal and important to have), it was a trial. It was a last chance for me to prove to them that I'm clean-enough that they could afford to risk being seen with me in public, just in case someone noticed them fraternizing with a hypothetical Enemy and their leftism was compromised. It was a test to make sure that I behave properly when required to, that I'd play along and do what I'm told and turn out my pockets if asked (because any refusal would validate the notion of having something to hide). And above all it was an opportunity for them to reaffirm their own cleanliness by putting my imagined immorality in its place.

I did what I needed to do: I smiled. I apologized. I "didn't know that". I "appreciated the feedback". I turned out my pockets because what else could I do? They'd decided who I was and what I believed, regardless of what I said or did, so there was no point in explaining that they were wrong about me. If I had told them they were being antisemitic, it would just have been proof that they were right. Caring about antisemitism is a dogwhistle in the spaces they've chosen: it's not a real form of oppression, it's a tactic for sneaky, lying Jews to weasel out of admitting their true alliances. There was nothing I could say.

Nothing's really changed for me. I'm going to continue my activism for Palestinian liberation rooted in my culture and my faith. Antizionism is still not antisemitism. But I got a reminder that many white goyisch leftists fundamentally just don't trust Jews, and that the activist spaces they're in not only exacerbate their antisemitism in an increasingly insular echo chamber, but also allow them to finally vent their internalized bigotry in a socially-acceptable way. In my former friends' eyes, what they did was activism—disavowing a Jew (and making me feel humiliated, scared, and unclean in the process) as a cathartic stand-in for doing fucking anything for actual Palestinian liberation—but for me it was a grief that I'll be feeling for a long time: not only over losing friends I loved and trusted, but also over my sense of belonging and security in leftist spaces.

[yanderemommabean]

Yandere Aliens x Reader

Content and Warnings: AFAB reader, multiple alien species, dubious consent/no consent, tentacles, some humiliation- 6k words. This was a commission, and I hope you enjoy as much as they did!

Meeting with new alien species was almost always a headache in your division. Earth was just stretching its legs into travel compared to how long these other beings have been around, and they always seemed to make that a point in any meeting you were forced to go to, and had to put up with their mocking and condescension. 

Others point out that it's more like an affection, like one would have for a cute pet, but you shut them down and roll your eyes. They see humans as useless and fickle, there’s nothing more to it. And even if it were something like affection for a pet, how does that make it any better? Why would you want to be seen as weak as a furry friend?  

Regardless, it’s your job to show that your species is more than capable of handling what they throw, and sometimes even spit, at you. Part of that job is showing up alone, digital clipboard in hand, and facing them head on with hopes you’ll gain more allies. 

Today, a meeting is being held with new generals, new crusaders, and hopefully new partners to Earth's own space expedition force. It’s not that you have zero allies…It’s just, more than a handful would be preferred with some tensions rising.   

As you walk into the giant room, you’re met with a handful of massive and tall creatures. Some with tentacles, some slimy, some beastly, and others…Just otherworldly in a sense that only H.P Lovecraft could really get behind. If you really want to give him any credit. According to the allies back home, they gave the man inspiration and he didn’t credit them at all. 

There’s an odd aura in the room when you finally sit. It’s as if all of those predatory eyes were following your every breath as you waited to begin and state your case for allegiance. It’s as if you were some specimen to behold and admire rather than a serious being who needed to get proper allies and ties to your organization. 

You make your way to begin speaking, but feel a chill go directly up your spine. While flickering through some of your digital paperwork, a rather invasive tentacle began to try and slither over your shoulder, and down your arm. 

There’s an odd warmth to them, and dare you say they feel sentient. They’re purple and thick, coated in a sheen of what you can only call slime as they curl and tighten across your arm and try to get to the base of your wrist. 

“I-I would uhm, appreciate it if you didn’t touch me” You manage to cough out, lifting the hefty weight of its slimy appendage off of our body while trying to remain composed. The muscled tendril seemed agitated as it was withdrawn back to its host, some low rumbling heard across the table as you cleared your throat. Whether or not it was a normal greeting didn’t matter, if you truly angered the species you can try to apologize later. 

“Hello, and greetings. It’s my honor to address this council today for our plans to-” There’s those tentacles again. Two of them wriggling up your legs and weighing you down as you stumble over your words and ultimately fall, allowing the wretched things to crawl over more of you, while the being they belonged to seemed to purr and trill in triumph. 

“No, Uhm, listen. We really can’t be this affectionate and touchy. I’m here on serious business to get you all to see why you should join earth's alliance. C-can one of you help? It’s becoming inappropriate…” 

While you struggle, a deep voice chuckles from across the other end of the table, amused and entertained. “Draaknals. The species that can’t keep their parts to themselves. How cute that they’ve found a little toy they want to explore. I have to say, I’m feeling a tad jealous. Humans are such adorable creatures, I’ve always wanted to have one in my lap myself.” 

You can’t even speak before you feel yourself being lifted up, anti-gravity dragging you towards the lap of the creature who was mocking how you were (more or less) being openly molested. 

You’re met with the large lap of the elder alien, chuckling as its hands roam over your body and begin to rip at your suit, making your blood run cold and your face drain of color. The way they pluck at the fabric is all too playful for what you feel is trying to be done. Something like a present being unwrapped or like a pet being pestered. 

“Ah. They’re softer than I had originally suspected. So warm and cute, so easy to hold and to carry around. The noises they make when they struggle are down right adorable.” 

Adorable?! You’re a warrior from earth who went through hell for training! What the fuck do they mean adorable?!

Cold air rushes over your body as more and more of your clothes are torn, exposing your supple skin to the room as the remaining participants coo and chirp about. “I can see we agree. I wish to explore more of this being's body as well. Listen to how their heart picks up, how they suck in with cute little breaths. It’s addicting! We should see what other noises these creatures can make for us.” 

The room hums with their noises of agreement, some chirping aloud and others gurgling their responses. As if this is what the meeting was truly about. 

You’re quickly handed to the towering being next to you, whose hands are more than ready to start poking and prodding, cooing aloud about how soft your stomach is as they gently drag their nails over your skin, daring to cut it if they so wished. 

They map over your body like you’re an artifact to be admired. Dipping into your hips, over your stomach, walking right up to your chest and just under your chin, tilting your head to get you to look up and meet their intimidating gaze. 

You can’t even think let alone catch your breath as the room seems to spin, your head dizzy and panicked. How can you stop this? Get things back on track or at the very least escape? There’s no way you can fend for yourself in this! Giving in to some of their desires would be fine on its own, but the other species here are known for more brutal tactics, how can you possibly negotiate with that?!

You strangle out a gasp when you feel those wet tendrils back on you, gently flicking over your now hardened nipples. Wet and warm, they tease and rub over them sensually, curious and playful at the same time. The little flicks send soft shocks to your core, your toes tensing and your neck straining as you try to get them away from your face. You can’t stop the mewls and whimpers you make as the alien coos and clicks to its constituents, seemingly pleased with how easy it is to humiliate you. 

“Xorvex…Do you feel that?” Another asks, tugging at the remaining patches of your suit with a grin. “I can sense how aroused this little human is. I’ve heard they can reach climax within minutes with just the right stimuli. Oh how envious that makes me. I wish my mates could orgasm with that much ease, over and over…It’s a delicacy.”

There’s a chill down your spine once again as you hear that. The creature's tooth filled grin only makes you want to hide and huddle away. Like a lamb cornered by starved and bored wolves. A sort of danger where you know it won't be over quickly, and that they’ll take their time despite your pleas for rest or freedom.

Maybe if you play along things won’t be so harsh? Perhaps you being this way can show them you mean no harm and they can join your forces? It’s asinine to think of in the moment but what else can you think to calm yourself? Panic would either entice them, make them pissed, or even bored. That or turn some on even more but if you’re already literally fucked, that’s not the worst outcome. 

You yelp, undignified and pathetic. Your bare body now for the taking as they huddle around you and begin to indulge however they please. What feels like a wet tongue glides over your abdomen, coating your skin in saliva, over and over as you’re held in these creatures' massive hands. They mutter and murmur about how “delectable” and “tasty” you are, and you fear you might truly be eaten- only to have that fear dismissed. 

For better or worse. 

That wicked and slick muscle decides to curl against your thighs, the tip gently flicking over your mound as you stutter out gasps of shock and unexpected arousal. The appendage parts your lower lips eagerly, flicking and slurping as you can only writhe and feel your muscles tighten. Your thighs tense and shake, but are held open by the council member who admitted they adore when their mates can climax over and over. They exclaim joy and amusement with how easy they’re taking you apart, and you feel utter shame as you pitifully fail to fight. 

“Right there…Yes. Good little human. I don’t understand why they try to make such adorable creatures like you fight in these wars. You’re clearly meant to just take our seed and be filled to the brim. Leaking as much as you are, I’m shocked you aren’t considered a case of neglect! Oh, but don’t you worry. We’re going to satiate every little devious human need you have.” 

There’s a cold pinch, and your eyes shoot open, mouth agape. The tendril easily slides inside of you, pumping in and out with practised ease as the Draaknal from earlier chirps and growls in approval. You can’t even protest, the Xorvex and the Akaex having their mouths share yours, tongue stealing a taste with every breath you try to take in, making your core all the more molten as pleasure overtakes rationality. 

The room is filled with wet sounds, all creatures invested in how to take you apart and make you their little plaything for as long as they deemed worthy. They coo in your ear about how unique you are, how they adore how you squirm and fight, and how good you look when being toyed with. Your thighs clench and tense as the tongue-like tendril continues to pump into you, like the alien in charge of it simply couldn’t get enough and wanted more, more, more.

One of the taller ones grunts and growls at the room, communicating something you couldn’t make out, only knowing that the tendril stopped and slipped out of you with a humiliating wet pop. They snarl back and forth to the two who first had you, before they sigh and back away, allowing you to be lifted upwards, placed on your back on the large pristine council table. 

You feel the cool metal on your bare back, eyes darting all over the room as your brain tries to make sense of anything. You’re facing the chair of the council member who took you, and you start to think maybe you’ve been rescued-maybe they put a stop to this! But all that hope is brutally crushed as soon as the head member begins to speak again. 

“Our friend here is right. We can indulge and get things done. A little sharing wouldn’t hurt. Just be sure to leave enough for the rest.” 

There’s little you can do. Trying to fend for yourself will get you killed. Trying to escape is useless. They’re just taking what they want, as they want, all while in awe like you’re some sort of…Pet. Or perhaps more? There’s such an odd fascination, it’s hard to pinpoint how all of them truly feel. But regardless, it seems they’ve decided  to make you their plaything. 

There’s a warm mouth over your dripping mound, and once again you feel the white hot pleasure shoot up your spine as they let their long, thick tongue explore. Up and down, starved and greedy. Hands come to cup just under your ass to lift you up, shoulders on the table and legs falling backwards so the things tongue can truly get in as deep as possible. 

You outright sob, hands trying to latch onto anything as the ecstasy burns and reaches its boiling point, wanting to rip away but at the same time, wanting to chase that high. There’s more growls, more chuffing and satisfied groaning, vibrating right into you and making your toes curl. 

You can’t stop it. The blinding sensation racks through your core, and you find yourself making loud, stuttered gasps as you climax. Your mind is blank, everything white and blurry, breaths uneven as the council coo and purr about how good you look, and how interesting it is to see a human go through such bliss. 

You don’t get much more time to think. You’re quickly passed onto the next alien, whose fingers are eager to explore, some in your mouth, others teasing your chest, and others curiously spreading you open as you’re sitting in their lap. “So pink…So soft. Just begging for us to taste. Maybe this is how they captivate a mate back home? So inviting!” 

“Maybe they make it this way on purpose? To be bred until there’s sure to be offspring?” “No no, some humans mate to show love and romance only! I hear it's this soft and sweet to keep their mates addicted.” “I won’t believe it until the human is passed to me. Waiting turns to do research is less than favorable…But It’s such a rare opportunity, I can’t turn it down.” 

It’s as if they don’t even care. Passive to your protests but adoring how they can make you squirm and writhe. Like they’re observing an endangered species and have to gather whatever intel they can. 

Your pussy clenches down against the invading fingers, and you pathetically cry out. Your hips are grinding down on their own, wanting more yet also screaming from being so sensitive, handled like a doll. That shouldn’t make you all the more wet, it shouldn’t make you clamp down harder, but here you are. All parts horny and desperate and still somehow trying to fight it. 

The long digits crook and curl, knowing exactly where to hit and how hard. You feel a yelp forced out of you, the pleasure way too intense too soon, but your body is acting on it’s own. Your eyes are rolling back, saliva is coating the digits in your mouth, and there’s fuck all you can do when you size up and feel yourself spraying all over the beings hand. 

There’s amused purrs and trills, some even laughing in awe, like they watched a marvelous spectacle, and you’re then handed off again. Truly like a toy. Why does that turn you on? Why is any of this making you act like some desperate animal in heat?

You feel a sense of shame as you listen to the previous one lick its fingers, audibly groaning and sucking like it’s never eaten something so delicious. 

There’s garbled noises and growls, something you wish you could decipher, but your gut tells you what you already know. This is far from over. Predators were surrounding a wounded lamb and ready to take whatever piece they could get their teeth on. 

“Why are we focusing only on the earthlings' pleasure? Honestly I never understood your kind. Your species always gives and gives and wonders why it’s dwindling in population. The human here should serve us. Be useful.” The large, red, muscular creature grunts this towards the entire council, and is quick to snatch you away and bring you to the next seat. Its uniform is dazzled with badges of war, some honorable, others just decoration for how brutally they fought their enemies. 

They’re an Undrut. Known for their brute strength, short fuse, and shoot first ask questions later attitude. 

“Please-” You choke out, feeling their massive hand around your throat. “-Wait a moment! Just let me-NGH!” You hiss, eyes slamming shut as the Undrut hovers over you and begins to slip its larger, thicker fingers into you. 

“So tiny and pathetic. Made to be protected, not to serve. You should be in a nest, letting someone stronger bring you food, bring you safety, bring you comfort. You’re much too squishy and feeble to be out here with us, the battlefield would only chew you up and devour you.” 

There’s a wet “schluck” sound, and you’re terrified to look down and see the massive length pressing right against you. 

“Easy, Agorox. Humans are fragile like you said. Being brutish will just kill this one.” 

The being chuffs, rubbing its glistening head over your sore and gaping cunt, snarling out to the smug voice beside them. It seemed annoyed, but taking the council members' words into consideration. You shiver as the hand tightens around your throat, just barely, its fingers clenching here and there as Agorox rubs the head of his long, thick cock against your soaked folds. 

Agorox hummed, bending closer to whisper in your ear as you felt more of his weight on you. “If you were on my planet, you’d be seen as the highest honor for a mate. We love to show off how well we provide.”  

He pulls back with a chuckle. “Such a cute little species” He mused, the head beginning to push inside. Your tight rim can barely accommodate, stretching around his length as your voice goes tight, air feeling stuck in your chest as that monstrous length tries to fit inside of you. 

The Undrut chuffs and snarls, but now in arousal, sliding his ribbed cock deeper and deeper inside of you as your walls pulse and throb, sucking him deeper. The size was enough to make anyone sore the next few days, but your body was acting as if you’d never felt this type of relief before. Every ridge pressed exactly where you needed, every inch stretched you just right. You felt like you were close to an actual heaven despite being locked in some sort of lewd, depraved hell. 

“That’s it. Such a good, obedient human.” 

You feel a wave of warmth wash over you at that. Something about the deep voice praising you made you want to melt into a puddle. A box to unpack for another day perhaps. You don’t really care for a psychoanalysis when an alien is eight inches deep and your mind is slowly breaking. 

“Every inch. I know you can take it, earthling” Agorox hisses, pressing his hips flush to yours, watching in unbridled arousal. The bump that pokes from your abdomen has the alien on what you humans would call “cloud nine.” 

The others watch in awe, watching as you take inch after inch like you’re made of elastic. Your body twitches and jolts with each deep thrust, slowly gaining momentum as you finally let yourself go. The pleasure from it all, knowing you couldn’t fight them off-What was the harm in giving them what they wanted? 

“Nhh” Your throat felt tight as even more of that length speared you open. You couldn’t help but watch as well, nearly obsessively as it’s cock just disappeared inside of you. You push yourself downwards, wanting to rock against the creature and get truly bred, the noises you made being practically punched out of you. 

Something primal was crawling out of the recess of your mind. You wanted this. Yo unwanted every thick, addicting inch, and every ounce of cum that this creature could provide. Part of your more sane mind had to assume it’s just something this species can cause with saliva or something. The other part doesn’t care and wants to be filled and to be climaxing right this second. 

Agorox growled low in the back of his throat, impressed that you dared to be so bold. He doubles over you, thrusting inside with more and more abandon, watching as you arch off of the table and claw at anything for some sort of grounding or purchase. 

“Amazing. Soft and brittle yet they can handle a warrior like me. Look at them. Taking me in over and over, waiting for my seed” he chuffs, grinning widely as he lets his massive hands come to hold your waist- so tiny in comparison that his fingers could touch. 

The way he began to fully plow into you, you started to see tiny stars behind your eyes. You couldn’t even wrap your thighs around this creature's abdomen, as much as you wanted to, wishing to pull him deeper and hold him there so you could feel every bit of what he’s giving. 

Maybe it’s how this creature mates, but something about the idea of him pulling out any time soon made you want to wail in distress. It made your stomach twist. You arch your hips to meet his aggressive downward thrusts, making you clench and throb all over again as he used to his liking. 

Agorox grunted and chuffed as he fucked you, deep and fast. Over and over, hurried and greedy as he watched his cock disappear into you, bulging right in your stomach. “Take it. Be a good little human and take my seed. Every. Last. Drop. Waste any of it and you’ll see why my kind is feared.” There’s a deep, rumbling sound from deep in the red alien's chest, and soon you feel your core being filled with warm, slick gushes of cum. Viscous, deep into your cervix, coating you inside and even out as no earthly creature such as yourself could truly hold that much. You start to feel a bit bad for any other smaller creature that takes an Undruts fancy. 

It’s so debauched and filthy, it sends you into shame while also tipping you over the edge, climaxing once again. Your core spasms, tensing and hot as your thighs lock, and your voice goes hoarse in a cry. Head lolling back as curses and pitiful whimpers echo against the walls. All for the amusement of the council. A spectacle of Earth. 

“Tsk tsk tsk. Humans can only handle so much, you know this!” a member scolds, but it’s half hearted at best. There’s tendrils sliding against you again, and you’re placed back to the being who started all of this in the first place, and feel a sense of dread knowing what they wanted from you next. 

But with how you’re clenching around nothing and covered in a dubious mess, can you really say you didn’t want to continue? 

“My my, what a display. The little human was easier to break than I had hoped, but I’m by no means complaining. Do you think they break like this with their own mates? I read that some humans have to have this happen multiple times before reaching their preferred mind space.” “Once again, there’s fictional stories humans write for fun, and there’s facts. I know which ones you tend to pick up, Urlen.” 

“Oh, pardon me for enjoying the finer things of human creation. I should be executed for such a crime.” 

The two banter back and forth for a bit, all while the tendrils caress over your body, slithering and exploring, just much much more eager and bold. The heft they have is an odd comfort to you, like some macabre weighted blanket, and you have to wonder if they’re onto something about being in a subspace or even fully mind broken. 

You’re hyper aware of everything that’s happening. Every touch and every caress has you jerking and feeling like you’ve been shocked. Yet you find yourself tilting your head back and allowing it all to happen, no longer caring how they treated you. If this is how they want to learn about the human race, who are you to stop such a pleasurable science? Not that they cared for it either way it seemed. 

Damned aliens always take and take without question. You knew that coming in and just assumed they were pompous, but no. You couldn’t be more wrong. They were starved for knowledge and attained their info by any means- and it seems this group adored hands on. 

The tentacles begin to slide across your lips, tickling your mouth open before taking full advantage. They didn’t taste awful either, and you find yourself becoming all the more relaxed as the tentacles fill you up from every hole, curling and pumping over and over as the alien host coos and purrs inside of your head. 

“Such a pretty species. Such eagerness for pleasure. How you can handle this size…I’m amazed. Perhaps having you as mates would be wonderful for my more hungry brothers and sisters.” You wince, feeling the tendrils prodding deeper into your aching pussy. The burn is more pleasant than before, but you can’t help but feel they’re pushing you to your limit, as if truly trying to test how much you can bend before you break. 

You gag and choke on the appendages forcing their way down your throat, but the way they go about it has you clenching and jerking, your core turning molten. It was perfectly lewd, your hands itching to reach down and play with your clit as they used you how they pleased. It was heady and hot. Everything is ten times more sensitive, every touch like an electric shock across your heated skin. Your tongue relaxes and allows the tentacles to use your mouth and throat, the weight somehow nice and easy to get lost with as you suckle and lick wherever you can. 

“Yeeessss. That's it. What a beautiful way to fall apart. You humans are so interesting…denying yourselves this bliss with your odd religions and your strange customs. Wouldn’t you love to just be like this? I could arrange a perfect marriage for that if you’d like-” “Now's not the time. They’re here for our research, not your political moves.” The tendrils leave you as the creature goes back to hissing and snarling at Urlen, the head of the council, who was looking all parts of the cat who got the cream. An odd smugness surrounds his aura as he watches how you’re handled and devoured. 

Like he’s the one who tossed the meat to the lions. The one who ran the circus. 

“It’s such a shame that the meeting is drawing near an end. I was having so much fun, I wanted to take you apart even more. But that’s alright, dear human. I can indulge just a bit more before we have to be off.” You blearily look up to him, your legs not at all wanting to work as he stands over you and lifts you up with ease. Your skin buzzed with heat and electricity, everything so intense and making you lose your breath. Slick dribbled from you, cum coating your inner thighs as it drips, down to the floor, all the more reason for your cheeks to bloom in molten shame. 

There’s another shiver, and you’re placed right on his lap, massive length now proudly standing and rubbing between your ass cheeks as Urlens hands massage the meat and flesh. Possessive and greedy, cupping and digging his larger fingers into the flesh like he was angered that he couldn’t do it before now. However, if he was angry, he covered it up with that superior-to-you tone.

“Goodness. If I hold you just like this, right against my cock, I can feel your heart rate. Beat after eager beat, waiting for me.” Urlen shows his teeth in a grin, rows upon rows of sharp teeth just waiting to sink into your flesh and claim you. Marr your skin for the very bragging rights that he got ahold of you. 

Oh how utterly greedy that would make him. And at such an established event! But…Isn’t that all the more savory? Erotic? He can’t fully help himself. There’s just something about breaking you down like this that has his entire being elated and wanting more. 

You wheeze, back bowing into a taut arch as the head of his thick, wet cock presses inside. Urlen’s deliberately going slow, inch by agonizing inch, making you savor the pleasure as you feel exactly how deep he’s reaching inside of you. You swear you can feel him right in your guts. Right against every overstimulated bundle of nerves. “Down here-” He purrs, and there’s another sweet gasp from your lips. “This feels good too, right? So swollen and stiff. Look at how you jolt and quiver…How many nerve endings are here? How many times can I play with this while you take me? Does it help reproduce? Or is it just for creatures like me to milk you of bliss until you hurt?” 

Christ, do they ever shut up?! You can’t even think of a response, you're completely on auto pilot and chasing that high once again. You need him to keep going, to play with your clit while you ride on his massive cock, completely abandoning decorum. As if you had any to begin with when this all first started. 

There’s only guttural grunts and moans after you whimper for him. Looking much too cute to just leave needy and desperate for release. Over and over, you feel your body pressing down to take his length as you claw into his dark blue skin. 

You were chasing that high, uncaring for how you looked or how you sounded, Your hands traveled up and down your own body, relishing in the debauchery of it all, bouncing and feeling your chest, your stomach, pressing right on the bulging skin as you felt all shame finally leave. Urlen and the others are a mix of pleased, intrigued, and in awe. If they didn’t have any interest in humans before, they do now. Though, perhaps not for the reasons you were sent here for. 

“Fuck! Ngh-Wait! “ You feel your voice rising in pitch, panicked as you’re shoved on your back, the cold table sending you into the opposite direction and nearly ruining your orgasm as Urlen stands over you, rutting into you slowly. 

He wants you to feel it. Feel how deep he is, how he’s spearing you open. An odd primal urge overcomes him as he watches you take all of him with ease. Like you craved him just as badly. 

“Can’t believe you can take away our composure like this. So soft, small, easy to use. You truly have no idea how good you look do you? How utterly insane your kind drives me. It’s pathetic you ruin me with such ease!” he bites out, angling his thrusts so he could watch himself plunge into your soaked and swollen pussy. The way you clamp down and suck him in, how warm and tight you are, it’s enough to make even his kind lose his mind. No wonder humans love this for a pastime, for a reason to lose themselves- This pleasure was addicting! 

His species could feast for eons with this information. 

You're a victim to a body quaking orgasm once again, sobs leaving your lips as breaths are punched out of you, pleasure so intense you’d think you were being punished by these creatures and not being experimented on. 

Well, maybe it was that sincere in the beginning. Now you’re sure that veil has fallen. You may not know a lot of alien customs, but you know when feral arousal overtakes a group. 

It’s like it’s never ending. Over and over his length plunges inside of you, causing you to squeal and shake, the pressure building inside like you’re about to burst. Eyes rolled in the back of your head, thighs aching in the most delicious way possible, white hot bliss making your brain turn to static as you truly let go, unable to care about whatever else could be happening. 

There’s an audience of coos and praise as you feel yourself squirt, chest heaving in uneven breaths, your soul feeling as if it was pulled out of you and pulled through a wringer. You just came. Again. Not only that, but you squirted. Lewd, debauched, and all parts erotic. 

You can’t feel an ounce of shame with this. What’s there to be ashamed about? They want to explore your body, let them. It’s much easier than trying to act as if this could ever go back to a place of decorum and sanctity. Let them play and feed. 

And oh, do they. You’re filled to the brim by Urlen, somehow able to handle more copious amounts of his seed than you thought, the mess running out of you like a river when he pulls away and his cock stands proud. Your essence clearly drips off of him, giving it a sheen as it bobs and twitches, still eager to slam back inside you given the slightest sign that he could. 

Everything turns to a blur after that. Handed to another member, tongues cleaning you out while they mutter this and that about your species, cooing about how cute you are, how delectable you are, how good you handle their sizes as you're forced into orgasm, after orgasm, after orgasm. 

It’s like some Roman punishment. The hero now the victim as you’re enjoyed and devoured, losing yourself to these creatures like you pissed off Aphrodite (or dare you say you earned her favor? This isn’t exactly the worst way to go.) 

You’re once again with the tentacles, sucking on whichever decide to take your mouth as another creature is slamming away, purring deeply as they take you. You don’t even care to know which species. It’s all the same. Pleasure, euphoria, mind numbing orgasms- Why would you care who’s giving it to you? 

The tentacles leave your mouth, letting you take in much needed breaths as the final alien takes you for a ride. Deep, fast,and rabbit-like. Taking and taking, chasing their own pleasure as you sit in your own little mental bubble. 

There’s a final thrust deep into your cunt. The alien pulls away and grins as its fingers go to spread you open, showing your clenching hole to the others, as if you truly couldn’t ever get enough. Their fingers tease your sore and red rimmed hole, chuckling when you jerk and whine from the touch, like a predator toying with its meal. 

You’re given a moment to breathe after that. The demons in these other worldly creatures finally satiated it seemed. You’re face down on the large table, eyes bleary and skin covered in sweat, saliva, and a mix of all of their essence. Hair mussed, teeth marks lining your body, and every drop of energy gone. 

How the hell did you survive?

“I’d say this meeting went well” Urlen muses, dragging his fingers down your spine in a similar way someone touches a marble statue. Mapping you out and wanting to admire you all the more. You wonder if it's a way to try to comfort you- Then again who are you kidding? They passed you around without preamble and gave you one of the hardest brain resets a human could ever experience. But still, it wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility. 

“All things considered, I say we join your earthling alliance. I can see a wonderful future with us as allies. If you give us this hospitality with every meeting, how could we ever in our right minds say no?”  There’s a pitiful whimper as Urlen lifts you up, placing you on your ass as his fingertips tilt your head up to meet his gaze. “And, I’ll be more than happy to have you as my personal translator. My little ambassador…You can show me all of your customs and ways of pleasure. All for me to feast on.”

[liloinkoink]

one thing i think people get wrong about Martyn in the life series is he really isn’t loyal

like yeah, we all know him as the Hand, following the Red King as far as their shared grave, but that is… truly the outlier and not the norm with him

i mean, let’s take a brief look at other seasons. i can’t speak to Secret Life, as it came out when i was incredibly busy and i haven’t yet had time to watch it, but what about the others?

he won Limited Life because he’s a chronic traitor! he betrayed Scott, his ally for the whole season, so that he could win, and said he’d been planning it / wanting to do it the whole session. spent a whole season protecting and helping Scott, and laughed in his face to betray as soon as he saw a shot to do so

Double Life was a whole mess of Martyn and weird loyalties. just one example: he spent all of the first session hanging out with Pearl in favor of even looking for either of their soulmates, with no regard for how he’d been putting his soulmate in danger. when their soulmates dumped them due to being ignored all session and stormed off, he dumped Pearl just because. one session in and he’s betrayed both his soulmate and his day one alliance!

Last Life he teamed with the Southlanders and then made the Shadow Alliance in secret, so he was on two teams and never truly committed to either. he tried to kill Grian basically immediately when he got boogeyman, for example, and in the final fight he tried to lure Ren to himself by offering to team and then tried to blow Ren up

of course, i’m simplifying and ignoring a lot. he doesn’t earn the loyal reputation for nothing. he does a lot of things to help his teammates, like giving a life to Ren in Last Life, trying all season to win Cleo over for all of Double Life, or working to protect Scott for all of Limited Life. it’s not like Martyn doesn’t play the part of a loyal friend well, but, well.

the thing about Martyn is that he’s selfish. he’s basically always going to prioritize his own survival over anything else. he’s never going to roll over and die, especially not for another person. he’s good at looking loyal, because having allies will help you survive, and he knows making outright enemies is a bad idea. he knows he can’t make it obvious he’s a traitor, because then he’ll certainly be killed. but, when it comes down to the wire, he will generally bail at the last minute to save his own skin rather than protecting the people around him. when his loyalty is tested, nine times out of ten, he will not only fail, but do so completely without remorse

it doesnt take a lot to become Martyn’s ally, and once you’ve got a foot in the door, he will take his allegiances seriously (at least, to a point). but it takes effort to really earn Martyn’s trust. and, even when it looks like you have, there’s no guarantee he won’t yank the rug out from under you if he decides having you alive is more detrimental to his survival than seeing you dead

and yes, you can especially see all of this in Third Life. Martyn was absolutely not instantly ride or die for Ren—for a lot of the earlier episodes, he won’t say he’s on Ren’s team or that he lives at Ren’s base, and often tells other players he’s simply Ren’s employee rather than teammate and that he’s wandering or homeless. he trusts Ren so little due to Ren’s inability to keep a secret or stand up for himself that even Ren acknowledges in the third session that Martyn is probably going to leave him and find someone else. Martyn’s loyalty had to be earned, and it very nearly wasn’t. if Ren had taken a session more to grow a spine, Martyn probably would have left

but Ren became an ally that Martyn could rely on, who could stand up for himself and keep secrets. it became more beneficial to Martyn’s survival to have Ren around, so he stayed with Ren for the rest of the season, and committed hard to their kingdom. Ren earns Martyn’s trust by becoming a more dependable ally, and because of that, Ren earns Martyn’s loyalty…. probably

(half related, bc i want it in the post and i don’t know where to put it: after the execution, two sessions after Ren officially earns Martyn’s loyalty, Ren admits to being genuinely convinced Martyn was going to take him out of the series as soon as Ren gave him the chance!)

because yes, even here, even after Ren earns his trust and Ren trusts Martyn to execute him and they become King and Hand, Martyn was okay with killing Ren to save himself. Martyn has said he was going to betray Ren in the final session of Third Life. his entire plan was that when he and Ren hit the final 5, he was going to kill Ren. end Red Winter, usher in Red Spring. even the most loyal version of Martyn was a traitor!

now, you can decide for yourself if you believe he could have actually gone through with this—he and Ren were 6th and 7th out of the game, after all. maybe he wouldn’t have been able to steel himself. maybe his loyalty would have, for once, been too strong to kill Ren.

but it’s very possible that even the most loyal version of Martyn—the version of Martyn who has created this “loyal” image of Martyn in fanon—was only loyal because he died too soon to show his true colors

[woso-dreamzzz]

Head in the Clouds V

Barcelona Femení x Teen!Reader

Summary: Your national team situation

There's an understanding in the team when it comes to you.

You dominate the league with your scoring and now with Pajor at your side, you've started to develop almost too quickly for the staff to keep up with.

Every ball you touch turns to goals.

You're already the Champion's League top goal scorer and everyone is just waiting for the moment that they all know is coming.

Everyone is waiting for the moment a national team snaps you up.

You're been at a youth camp for both Spain and England before but that's about it.

You don't seem to really care all that match.

You spend most international breaks back home with your parents or off in France with your girlfriend, one of Lyon's star centrebacks.

Her international situation isn't quite as complicated as yours but everyone knows it influences your own. She could play for France or England and people know that if she were suddenly to declare for England then you would go there too.

Unless somewhere else snaps you up first.

Spain seems like the obvious choice with their most recent World Cup win under their belt and their dominance in last year's Nation's League.

But Frido is there with a face time from Magdalena Eriksson, who you excitedly inform is your grandmother's favourite players. She's flattered, of course, if a little confused by what's going on - especially when you gasp and stutter over your words when you catch a glimpse over her shoulder of Pernille Harder.

Alexia fumes by the door of the locker room, a disgruntled look on her face as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"We can't lose her to Sweden!" She hisses to Irene," Do something!"

"Me?! What am I meant to do?!"

"I don't know! Make her a home cooked meal! Remind her off her Basque roots! Anything!"

Irene sighs deeply. She's taking this a little easier than Alexia is but she still would have you join the Spanish team at the drop of a hat.

You were a once in a generation kind of striker and it would make it all the more worse if they lost your allegiance to one of their own club teammates.

The threat of you choosing England seems to have diminished a little with Keira and Lucy gone but Ellie's still here and while she's currently not a part of the England squad, she's still been seen dropping little hints towards you about joining up.

Thankfully for everyone else though, subtlety and hints goes over your head so you don't even realise what you're being told.

But where England has fallen, Sweden has only grown bolder.

Sweden, of course, meaning Frido and her wielding of Magda as a tool to get you to choose them.

"We need to find our own Magda," Irene says solemnly," Do we...Do we have a Magda?"

"We have a Mariona."

"We can't pick Mariona. Y/n already knows Mariona. We need someone older. We need someone mysterious. We need someone more fun that Magdalena Eriksson!"

They turn to each other in horror.

"We need Jenni."

Being Spain's Magda is a role that Jenni is all too comfortable stepping into. She arrives in the country with her usual brand of drama by using her key to access Alexia's house without telling anyone and eating a bowl of the paella she took straight from the fridge.

"So where's the kid?"

"At Irene's," Alexia replies from the stove," They're coming around for dinner." She waves the spatula at Jenni. "You will be nice and charming and you will, under no circumstances, mention any of the other countries vying for her. You have one job. Do it."

"I got it," Jenni says with ease, leaning back on the sofa," Woo the kid. Be the fun aunt. Make sure she chooses Spain. I got it."

Introducing you and Jenni, Alexia and Irene come to find, is the worst idea they've ever had.

Jenni takes her role as the 'fun aunt' to the extreme in the the four day period she has with you.

You go out for lunch and dinner, at both fancy restaurants and little street vendors. Jenni spends a bunch of money on new cooking implements even though you just mentioned them in passing.

There's even a very impromptu Instagram post and accompanying story of you two on a zip wire and Alexia and Irene are more than happy to shoo Jenni back to Mexico.

"Jenni's cool," You tell them the next day," She even signed my autograph book and gave me one of her old Spain shirts!"

At least she'd done something for a job well done.

With Sweden closing in, Alexia can't take any chances.

She even feels confident in her feelings of you choosing Spain.

Until, like it always does, it comes crashing down.

Because a new contender shows up.

It happens out of nowhere and nobody could have predicted it.

"You have brothers?" Vicky asks one day during a break in training.

"Three," You say with a nod and that same wide smile you always get when you talk about your family," A surgeon, a neurologist and lawyer."

"How come we've never heard of them?"

"Oh, they didn't come with us when we moved back to England."

Alexia's heart stutters.

"You didn't always live in England?" Salma asks and you shake your head.

"I grew up in the Netherlands." You think for a moment. "Until I was like thirteen. It was home."

The gears turn in Alexia's head, trying to draw up FIFA's eligibility rules.

But someone gets there before her.

Esmee.

Esmee with a wide grin and Alexia's heart plummets.

"You know," She says, speaking casually to you as the whole team holds its breath," You could play for the Netherlands with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the rules say you can. You could come to camp, see your brothers more often. I'm sure Viv would love to have you around."

Sweden may have Magda.

Spain may have had Spanish Magda, Jenni.

But the Netherlands have Viv and Esmee grinning like she's just won the lottery.

Within the week, you've received a signed Miedema jersey and a little note that no doubt Esmee had Viv write about potentially playing together at some point.

"It's fine," Irene whispers days after," It's fine. We've got a recent World Cup. They can't beat that."

You're sitting in your cubby, scrolling on your phone absentmindedly. "Oh!" You say out of nowhere," Are we going to America anytime soon? Should I renew my passport?"

Alexia frowns. "No, we're not and you don't need to renew your passport. Your Mama told me that you've still got three years on it."

"Not my Spanish passport. My American one! Should I renew it now or wait?"

Frido has also stopped what she's doing, turning around slowly with her eyes wide. "Why do you have an American passport?"

"I was born there!" You say brightly," Mama and Papa were there for work and I got impatient! That's what Papa says. So they had to have me in America and I got a cool passport out of it!"

"You have...You have American citizenship?"

"I have a passport!"

"So, yes."

In the background, Esmee groans and there's the clunk of a head hitting a locker door.

Irene looks equally as shocked as Alexia feels. "And...who knows about your citizenship?"

You shrug. "I don't know."

Alexia clears her throat. "Let's...Let's keep it that way. No reason to announce it to everyone."

You shrug. "Okay then."

Silence descends on the locker room and a joint exhale of relief spreads across the room.

Until...

"Oh! Mama said Emma Hayes just called her! I wonder what that's about."

[barrenclan]

Alone in the middle of a desolate wasteland, BarrenClan is a hardy and irritable group of cats. They have lived there for generations, and eke out survival in this unforgiving land. But one of their new apprentices, the bold and curious Pinepaw, is determined to discover the terrible truths buried under the sand, as well as rise to meet the changes coming to his Clan.

"Pinepaw and the Forgotten World" was a Warriors-inspired illustrated prose comic that ran on this blog from September 2022 - February 2025. As it is currently completed, this blog will contain MAJOR spoilers for the comic. If you are a new reader, please use the "Next" link below to be taken to the cover of this project. You can also read a mirror of the project on ComicFury, linked below. Navigational tags and other information are tagged below on this post as well.

Next >

ComicFury mirror

Yes, you have my permission to use a style and/or format inspired by this comic for your own projects. 

This comic is not based on the text-based game ClanGen/LifeGen. It was based off the Clan Generator challenge, which you can see in this video.

Helpful tags for navigating this blog (click on the search icon):

#issue: a list of all the completed issues. Use this tag to only see issues of the comic. 

#reference: reference sheets for the characters. 

#lore: background information about the world of the comic. 

#extra art: drawings I create outside of the comic itself. 

#fanart: drawings other people have made for the comic.

Allegiances: Family Tree (spoilers)

PATFW Discord: https://discord.gg/y3hAGVbfUK

PATFW Playlist: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0GZWVmucv2DvA4H7uLwquk (Song Guide)

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwTmUrr_9zUlCvQijucEkukNtiRpwktqs

Complete masterpost of issues, underneath Keep Reading link:

Issue 1 - Dry Heat and Cracked Earth

Issue 2 - I’ve Never Heard That Name Before

Issue 3 - Stupid Little Kit Daydreams

Issue 4 - It’s Just Like Falling Asleep 

Issue 5 - Smoke and Ash and Fire and Salt and Blood

Issue 6 - Healers Hear All The Secrets

Issue 7 - Foxholes Bite Back

Issue 8 - Do You Really Think That’s Your Destiny?

Issue 9 - It’s Only a Deer

Issue 10 - What Was That Now, Dear?

Issue 11 - We’re Held Together By Spiderweb

Issue 12 - The Shining Towns

Issue 13 - To Kill Is Right. To Kill Is Good. To Kill Is To Live.

Issue 14 - The Rotten Stench of Blood

Issue 15 - Was It Something I Did?

Issue 16 - I Bet You Can’t Catch Me

Issue 17 - You Are the Darkness Before the Storm

Issue 18 - I Met Him Under a Warm Dawn

Issue 19 - Kindness for the Dying Is Easy to Spare

Issue 20 - KITTENS! KITTENS! KITTENS!

Issue 21 - Lovebug

Issue 22 - A Favor for a Favor

Issue 23 - Your Voice Was So Soft

Issue 24 - Lost In a Haze

Issue 25 - You Don’t Speak to My Daughter That Way

Issue 26 - My Heart Is Too Heavy to Sleep

Issue 27 - Little Paws Take Little Steps

Issue 28 - Viscera, Shiny in the Light of Day

Issue 29 - We’re Not So Different, You and I

Issue 30 - Time Is a Circle

Issue 31 - Blood

Issue 32 - Cassandra

Issue 33 - Hurt Me! Beat Me! Just Please Don’t Leave Me!

Issue 34 - Sunset Days

Issue 35 - The Death of BarrenClan: Part One

Issue 36 - The Death of BarrenClan: Part Two

Issue 37 - The Death of BarrenClan: Part Three

Issue 38 - The Death of BarrenClan: Part Four

Issue 39 - The Death of BarrenClan: Part Five

Issue 40 - Aftermath

Issue 41 - Oracles

Issue 42 - Our Lasting Legacy

Issue 43 - Farewell, and I Love You

Epilogue 1 - The Last Ruby-Red Drop of Flame

Epilogue 2 - Moth-Soft Murmurings

Epilogue 3 - A Dream, A Nightmare

Epilogue 4 - Sunlight Here and Shadows There

Epilogue 5 - Gold Flowers

Epilogue 6 - Binary Star

Epilogue 7 - While You Were Dead

Epilogue 8 - The Ash of Memory

Epilogue 9 - A Rule of Fear

Epilogue 10 - The Vaster World

[unsuitablepet]

i've noticed you're Canadian, and as an incredibly terrified american, are you guys getting news that war is actually likely? our news and search engines are being heavily censored, i actually cannot find anything past 2024 about possible war. i'm reeling that it's possible, but i wouldn't put it past the orange fuck. i am so sincerely sorry for that cockalorum.

Hey! First of all, thanks for reaching out, and I'm sorry to hear you're terrified. We are also terrified to hear that your news is being censored. As I'm sure you can imagine, now more than ever, we want Americans to be aware of our situation and what's going on up north.

In terms of whether our news is saying war is likely... that's hard to answer. Truthfully, our news sources take a bit of a different tone than yours, for the most part. We're very avoidant of absolutes until things are certain, and our journalists (the respectable ones) tend to avoid alarmist rhetoric - at least compared to the kind of reporting and headlines we often see from many (still very respectable!) publications in the States.

So, what I'll say is this: in short, no. I have not seen any explicit reporting that war is imminent. However, there have been a lot of signals that a Big Bad is coming, and that's what a lot of us have been deducing from that. Here are some examples:

PM Justin Trudeau called a summit with most of our major industry leaders, informing them that Trump's annexation threats were very real and that we needed to start preparing.

Following that meeting, he flew to Europe to meet with several EU leaders to strengthen alliances and met with the Secretary-General of NATO for apparently similar discussions.

On a potentially related note, CSIS (our version of the CIA) released a foreign interference intelligence report to Parliament on Jan 28, most of which has not been made available to the public. However, I’ve seen some reporting that the United States was one of the countries mentioned as trying to interfere in our elections, and that the government’s response could be read as a silent invocation of NATO Article 4.

Perhaps most telling of something bad to come: our leaders are reaching across the aisle more than I've ever seen. Trudeau has been meeting with our premiers often, and outside of the numbnut in Alberta, they’ve unanimously come together to work on plans that prioritize Canada. We're hearing some of our most despicable, power-hungry conservatives advocate for Country Over Party and Country Over Province, willingly working with Trudeau—whom not even a month ago they treated like the most egregiously offensive man who ever lived—in supporting his plans to push back on Trump.

Our most conservative, openly pro-Trump candidate for the next election (Pierre Poilievre) is adding the establishment of a new military base and an Arctic defense strategy to his platform.

All candidates have been talking about increasing military spending.

Finally, all of our economic conversations have been focused on trade diversification and expanding internal manufacturing capabilities. We just signed a massive trade deal with China—something we had been refusing to do primarily because of our allegiance to the United States as our ally, which has now clearly been broken.

So yeah. Nothing overt, but it's not looking good.

On the ground, regular people (at least where I live) have been talking about war as if it's a real possibility and discussing what they'd do. Overwhelmingly, people are willing to stand up to this if it comes to it.

War aside, I've never seen anti-American sentiment run so high in this country. It's truly terrifying. People—on the right and left—are buying Canadian and boycotting American products. People are selling their American vacation homes, canceling travel to the U.S. (and those still taking their American vacations are being called traitors in some circles). Companies are ripping up American contracts. Stores are pulling American products off the shelves. And then, of course, there's the booing.

I know this seems grim, but I want to be honest with you. Our nations' relationship has been irrevocably harmed. There is no world where we go back to how it was before—whether or not Trump is gone—because we simply can't trust we won’t be put in this position again. And honestly—no offense to you, your ask was very polite, and I truly sympathize with every American who is as appalled by this as we are—I don’t think Canadians would feel this strongly about “never going back” if it weren’t for the response we’re seeing from American people online and American media.

Initial reactions to these threats were outright dismissal... of a threat to our sovereignty. Then, it was met with jokes and condescension, with late-night hosts chalking it up to picking a fight with your lapdog ally (literally, Jon Stewart called us golden retrievers), and people online treating it like just another crazy Trump-ism. Which is, again, a) not an appropriate reaction to a threat to a country’s sovereignty, and b) a complete dismissal of the real-time effects we're already feeling from this. The Canadian dollar dropped CONSIDERABLY in value the day the tariffs were announced. Just look at the USD:CAD forex charts and see how fucking stupid it looks since Trump took office.

And then, finally, we keep being met with either MAGA idiots who double down on the threat and tell us about how they can't wait to annex us/invade us and how we don't stand a chance against your military, or we're met by well-meaning but ultimately self-centered Americans who didn't vote for Trump and seem to be looking for us to absolve them and confirm we know they, in particular, didn’t do this. Which, like, okay, but how does that help anything? And really, should you be turning to us for comfort in this moment? This might sound dramatic, but literally go to the comment section of any Canadian creator, and you'll see this playing out there. It's aggressive and overwhelming, and you can’t blame Canadians for feeling like we can't count on you (again, en masse—not you specifically) to have our backs.

That said, the Canadian people and the Canadian government still truly sympathize with Americans—and immigrants in America (documented or not)—who did not choose this and are being impacted. We really, truly, and deeply appreciate Americans like you who are seeking out our voices, seeing through the noise, and trying to stay informed.

So, with that in mind, to help with the root of your question regarding news sources... first, I would recommend getting a VPN. I think your online experience would greatly improve. Second, there are a few Canadian sources you can go directly to, like our national broadcaster, the CBC.

Personally, I also enjoy following some left-leaning creators on TikTok, most of whom are journalists. I just try to be careful to keep their biases in mind and do my own follow-up research/think critically about what I hear. Here are a few of my favourites: Kat Arnett - she's a photographer but she used to be a political journalist. She's been pretty great at talking about how Canadians have experienced all of this.

KnittyKnits - she's a progressive (I'd say left but not far left) creator based in Alberta and she covers a lot of Canadian news.

Contra Tenore - He's a left-wing creator who I personally feel has a fairly pragmatic approach to analysis. He's VERY supportive of our left wing party (The New Democratic Party or 'NDP') and he's been talking a lot about this situation with the U.S. He doesn't mince words, though, and sometimes his videos are a little hard to take.

Cole.NotCole - He's probably my favourite starting point for a lot of my research right now. He gives short summaries of the day's news. He's sort of our Aaron Parnas but less problematic and less priviledged. He has a Liberal (center-left) leaning lens, but I don't personally feel he editorializes too much.

JB|Canadian Politics - Overtly progressive, but great political updates in my opinion - bias or no bias. He's been engaging Americans a lot during this whole thing in really interesting ways.

Unlearn16 - They're an extremely progressive high school history teacher (or maybe social studies?). I've really enjoyed their content covering all of this. They do a great job of breaking down the impact of political maneuvering and spelling out historical contexts.

Anyway... I hope this helps! And thank you again for asking. It really does mean a lot to see people seeking out Canadian perspectives at this time.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Podcasting “Capitalists Hate Capitalism”

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

This week on my podcast, I read "Capitalists Hate Capitalism," my latest column for Locus Magazine:

https://locusmag.com/2024/03/cory-doctorow-capitalists-hate-capitalism/

What do I mean by "capitalists hate capitalism?" It all comes down to the difference between "profits" and "rents." A capitalist takes capital (money, or the things you can buy with it) and combines it with employees' labor, and generates profits (the capitalist's share) and wages (the workers' share).

Rents, meanwhile, come from owning an asset that capitalists need to generate profits. For example, a landlord who rents a storefront to a coffee shop extracts rent from the capitalist who owns the coffee shop. Meanwhile, the capitalist who owns the cafe extracts profits from the baristas' labor.

Capitalists' founding philosophers like Adam Smith hated rents. Worse: rents were the most important source of income at the time of capitalism's founding. Feudal lords owned great swathes of land, and there were armies of serfs who were bound to that land – it was illegal for them to leave it. The serfs owed rent to lords, and so they worked the land in order grow crops and raise livestock that they handed over the to lord as rent for the land they weren't allowed to leave.

Capitalists, meanwhile, wanted to turn that land into grazing territory for sheep as a source of wool for the "dark, Satanic mills" of the industrial revolution. They wanted the serfs to be kicked off their land so that they would become "free labor" that could be hired to work in those factories.

For the founders of capitalism, a "free market" wasn't free from regulation, it was free from rents, and "free labor" came from workers who were free to leave the estates where they were born – but also free to starve unless they took a job with the capitalists.

For capitalism's philosophers, free markets and free labor weren't just a source of profits, they were also a source of virtue. Capitalists – unlike lords – had to worry about competition from one another. They had to make better goods at lower prices, lest their customers take their business elsewhere; and they had to offer higher pay and better conditions, lest their "free labor" take a job elsewhere.

This means that capitalists are haunted by the fear of losing everything, and that fear acts as a goad, driving them to find ways to make everything better for everyone: better, cheaper products that benefit shoppers; and better-paid, safer jobs that benefit workers. For Smith, capitalism is alchemy, a philosopher's stone that transforms the base metal of greed into the gold of public spiritedness.

By contrast, rentiers are insulated from competition. Their workers are bound to the land, and must toil to pay the rent no matter whether they are treated well or abused. The rent rolls in reliably, without the lord having to invest in new, better ways to bring in the harvest. It's a good life (for the lord).

Think of that coffee-shop again: if a better cafe opens across the street, the owner can lose it all, as their customers and workers switch allegiance. But for the landlord, the failure of his capitalist tenant is a feature, not a bug. Once the cafe goes bust, the landlord gets a newly vacant storefront on the same block as the hot new coffee shop that can be rented out at even higher rates to another capitalist who tries his luck.

The industrial revolution wasn't just the triumph of automation over craft processes, nor the triumph of factory owners over weavers. It was also the triumph of profits over rents. The transformation of hereditary estates worked by serfs into part of the supply chain for textile mills was attended by – and contributed to – the political ascendancy of capitalists over rentiers.

Now, obviously, capitalism didn't end rents – just as feudalism didn't require the total absence of profits. Under feudalism, capitalists still extracted profits from capital and labor; and under capitalism, rentiers still extracted rents from assets that capitalists and workers paid them to use.

The difference comes in the way that conflicts between profits and rents were resolved. Feudalism is a system where rents triumph over profits, and capitalism is a system where profits triumph over rents.

It's conflict that tells you what really matters. You love your family, but they drive you crazy. If you side with your family over your friends – even when your friends might be right and your family's probably wrong – then you value your family more than your friends. That doesn't mean you don't value your friends – it means that you value them less than your family.

Conflict is a reliable way to know whether or not you're a leftist. As Steven Brust says, the way to distinguish a leftist is to ask "What's more important, human rights, or property rights?" If you answer "Property rights are human right," you're not a leftist. Leftists don't necessarily oppose all property rights – they just think they're less important than human rights.

Think of conflicts between property rights and human rights: the grocer who deliberately renders leftover food inedible before putting it in the dumpster to ensure that hungry people can't eat it, or the landlord who keeps an apartment empty while a homeless person freezes to death on its doorstep. You don't have to say "No one can own food or a home" to say, "in these cases, property rights are interfering with human rights, so they should be overridden." For leftists property rights can be a means to human rights (like revolutionary land reformers who give peasants title to the lands they work), but where property rights interfere with human rights, they are set aside.

In his 2023 book Technofeudalism, Yanis Varoufakis claims that capitalism has given way to a new feudalism – that capitalism was a transitional phase between feudalism…and feudalism:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

Varoufakis's point isn't that capitalists have gone extinct. Rather, it's that today, conflicts between capital and assets – between rents and profits – reliably end with a victory of rent over profit.

Think of Amazon: the "everything store" appears to be a vast bazaar, a flea-market whose stalls are all operated by independent capitalists who decide what to sell, how to price it, and then compete to tempt shoppers. In reality, though, the whole system is owned by a single feudalist, who extracts 51% from every dollar those merchants take in, and decides who can sell, and what they can sell, and at what price, and whether anyone can even see it:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/01/managerial-discretion/#junk-fees

Or consider the patent trolls of the Eastern District of Texas. These "companies" are invisible and produce nothing. They consist solely of a serviced mailbox in a dusty, uninhabited office-building, and an overbroad patent (say, a patent on "tapping on a screen with your finger") issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office. These companies extract hundreds of millions of dollars from Apple, Google, Samsung for violating these patents. In other words, the government steps in and takes vast profits generated through productive activity by companies that make phones, and turns that money over as rent paid to unproductive companies whose sole "product" is lawsuits. It's the triumph of rent over profit.

Capitalists hate capitalism. All capitalists would rather extract rents than profits, because rents are insulated from competition. The merchants who sell on Jeff Bezos's Amazon (or open a cafe in a landlord's storefront, or license a foolish smartphone patent) bear all the risk. The landlords – of Amazon, the storefront, or the patent – get paid whether or not that risk pays off.

This is why Google, Apple and Samsung also have vast digital estates that they rent out to capitalists – everything from app stores to patent portfolios. They would much rather be in the business of renting things out to capitalists than competing with capitalists.

Hence that famous Adam Smith quote: "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices." This is literally what Google and Meta do:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

And it's what Apple and Google do:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/27/23934961/google-antitrust-trial-defaults-search-deal-26-3-billion

Why compete with one another when you can collude, like feudal lords with adjacent estates who trust one another to return any serf they catch trying to sneak away in the dead of night?

Because of course, it's not just "free markets" that have been captured by rents ("Competition is for losers" -P. Thiel) – it's also "free labor." For years, the largest tech and entertainment companies in America illegally colluded on a "no poach" agreement not to hire one-anothers' employees:

https://techcrunch.com/2015/09/03/apple-google-other-silicon-valley-tech-giants-ordered-to-pay-415m-in-no-poaching-suit/

These companies were bitter competitors – as were these sectors. Even as Big Content was lobbying for farcical copyright law expansions and vowing to capture Big Tech, all these companies on both sides were able to set aside their differences and collude to bind their free workers to their estates and end the "wasteful competition" to secure their labor.

Of course, this is even more pronounced at the bottom of the labor market, where noncompete "agreements" are the norm. The median American worker bound by a noncompete is a fast-food worker whose employer can wield the power of the state to prevent that worker from leaving behind the Wendy's cash-register to make $0.25/hour more at the McDonald's fry trap across the street:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#neofeudal

Employers defend this as necessary to secure their investment in training their workers and to ensure the integrity of their trade secrets. But why should their investments be protected? Capitalism is about risk, and the fear that accompanies risk – fear that drives capitalists to innovate, which creates the public benefit that is the moral justification for capitalism.

Capitalists hate capitalism. They don't want free labor – they want labor bound to the land. Capitalists benefit from free labor: if you have a better company, you can tempt away the best workers and cause your inferior rival to fail. But feudalists benefit from un-free labor, from tricks like "bondage fees" that force workers to pay in order to quit their jobs:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/21/bondage-fees/#doorman-building

Companies like Petsmart use "training repayment agreement provisions" (TRAPs) to keep low-waged workers from leaving for better employers. Petsmart says it costs $5,500 to train a pet-groomer, and if that worker is fired, laid off, or quits less than two years, they have to pay that amount to Petsmart:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose

Now, Petsmart is full of shit here. The "four-week training course" Petsmart claims is worth $5,500 actually only lasts for three weeks. What's more, the "training" consists of sweeping the floor and doing other low-level chores for three weeks, without pay.

But even if Petsmart were to give $5,500 worth of training to every pet-groomer, this would still be bullshit. Why should the worker bear the risk of Petsmart making a bad investment in their training? Under capitalism, risks justify rewards. Petsmart's argument for charging $50 to groom your dog and paying the groomer $15 for the job is that they took $35 worth of risk. But some of that risk is being borne by the worker – they're the ones footing the bill for the training.

For Petsmart – as for all feudalists – a worker (with all the attendant risks) can be turned into an asset, something that isn't subject to competition. Petsmart doesn't have to retain workers through superior pay and conditions – they can use the state's contract-enforcement mechanism instead.

Capitalists hate capitalism, but they love feudalism. Sure, they dress this up by claiming that governmental de-risking spurs investment: "Who would pay to train a pet-groomer if that worker could walk out the next day and shave dogs for some competing shop?"

But this is obvious nonsense. Think of Silicon Valley: high tech is the most "IP-intensive" of all industries, the sector that has had to compete most fiercely for skilled labor. And yet, Silicon Valley is in California, where noncompetes are illegal. Every single successful Silicon Valley company has thrived in an environment in which their skilled workers can walk out the door at any time and take a job with a rival company.

There's no indication that the risk of free labor prevents investment. Think of AI, the biggest investment bubble in human history. All the major AI companies are in jurisdictions where noncompetes are illegal. Anthropic – OpenAI's most serious competitor – was founded by a sister/brother team who quit senior roles at OpenAI and founded a direct competitor. No one can claim with a straight face that OpenAI is now unable to raise capital on favorable terms.

What's more, when OpenAI founder Sam Altman was forced out by his board, Microsoft offered to hire him – and 700 other OpenAI personnel – to found an OpenAI competitor. When Altman returned to the company, Microsoft invested more money in OpenAI, despite their intimate understanding that anyone could hire away the company's founder and all of its top technical staff at any time.

The idea that the departure of the Burger King trade secrets locked up in its workers' heads constitute more of a risk to the ability to operate a hamburger restaurant than the departure of the entire technical staff of OpenAI is obvious nonsense. Noncompetes aren't a way to make it possible to run a business – they're a way to make it easy to run a business, by eliminating competition and pushing the risk onto employees.

Because capitalists hate capitalism. And who can blame them? Who wouldn't prefer a life with less risk to one where you have to constantly look over your shoulder for competitors who've found a way to make a superior offer to your customers and workers?

This is why businesses are so excited about securing "IP" – that is, a government-backed right to control your workers, customers, competitors or critics:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

The argument for every IP right expansion is the same: "Who would invest in creating something new without the assurance that some­one else wouldn’t copy and improve on it and put them out of business?"

That was the argument raised five years ago, during the (mercifully brief) mania for genre writers seeking trademarks on common tropes. There was the romance writer who got a trademark on the word "cocky" in book titles:

https://www.theverge.com/2018/7/16/17566276/cockygate-amazon-kindle-unlimited-algorithm-self-published-romance-novel-cabal

And the fantasy writer who wanted a trademark on "dragon slayer" in fantasy novel titles:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/06/14/son-of-cocky-a-writer-is-trying-to-trademark-dragon-slayer-for-fantasy-novels/

Who subsequently sought a trademark on any book cover featuring a person holding a weapon:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/07/19/trademark-troll-who-claims-to-own-dragon-slayer-now-wants-exclusive-rights-to-book-covers-where-someone-is-holding-a-weapon/

For these would-be rentiers, the logic was the same: "Why would I write a book about a dragon-slayer if I could lose readers to someone else who writes a book about dragon-slayers?"

In these cases, the USPTO denied or rescinded its trademarks. Profits triumphed over rents. But increasingly, rents are triumphing over profits, and rent-extraction is celebrated as "smart business," while profits are for suckers, only slightly preferable to "wages" (the worst way to get paid under both capitalism and feudalism).

That's what's behind all the talk about "passive income" – that's just a euphemism for "rent." It's what Douglas Rushkoff is referring to in Survival of the Richest when he talks about the wealthy wanting to "go meta":

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/13/collapse-porn/#collapse-porn

Don't drive a cab – go meta and buy a medallion. Don't buy a medallion, go meta and found Uber. Don't found Uber, go meta and invest in Uber. Don't invest in Uber, go meta and buy options on Uber stock. Don't buy Uber stock options, go meta and buy derivatives of options on Uber stock.

"Going meta" means distancing yourself from capitalism – from income derived from profits, from competition, from risk – and cozying up to feudalism.

Capitalists have always hated capitalism. The owners of the dark Satanic mills wanted peasants turned off the land and converted into "free labor" – but they also kidnapped Napoleonic war-orphans and indentured them to ten-year terms of service, which was all you could get out of a child's body before it was ruined for further work:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/26/enochs-hammer/#thats-fronkonsteen

When Varoufakis says we've entered a new feudal age, he doesn't mean that we've abolished capitalism. He means that – for the first time in centuries – when rents go to war against profits – the rents almost always emerge victorious.

Here's the podcast episode:

https://craphound.com/news/2024/04/14/capitalists-hate-capitalism/

Here's a direct link to the MP3 (hosting courtesy of the Internet Archive; they'll host your stuff for free, forever):

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_465/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_465_-_Capitalists_Hate_Capitalism.mp3

And here's the RSS feed for my podcast:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/18/in-extremis-veritas/#the-winnah

[animatewarriorcats]

Crowfrost! He is first named in Eclipse, as olivepaw's mentor in the allegiances. He remains a bit of a background cat for a while, with a little bit of characterization in Omen of the Stars, where in a few passages it's treated as fact that he is a senior warrior, who's friends are all senior warriors, despite his depictions being much newer. In one passage of Night Whispers, after the battle for the Greenleaf Twolegplace he is seen thinking tactically and contributing to the discussion particularly with Rowanclaw, which makes the case for his being chosen as Rowanclaw's Deputy in Bramblestar's Storm.

In the Vision of Shadows arc he plays a bigger role, particularly in Thunder and Shadow. He is as vocal in many of the Clan's decisions as Rowanstar, and they really seem to make a good team despite missing the mark on the youngest generations resentments. He is more distrustful and stern to the Kin when they try to offer prey and join Shadowclan than Rowanstar, and is shocked and devastated when Needlepaw and his kits Sleekpaw and Juniperpaw decide to leave to join the Kin. When things start to go downhill with Yellowcough he takes over full leadership of the Clan, sending out Puddleshine with the first patrol for Lungwort and including Violetpaw to be sure that the clan would trust her, to picking up Scorchfur's implied opportunity when Twigpaw tries to visit her sister to use her as a bargaining chip for the needed herb and initiating that plan himself, to Speaking at the Gathering and contending with Onestar who continued to refuse help to his clan, Crowfrost did a hell of a lot more than most deputies and everything within his power to keep Shadowclan from falling apart. There's this moment when Thunderclan comes to rescue Twigpaw that the writing describes his voice as 'hoarse', and I think he knew then that he was sick with Yellowcough when he sends the apprentice home saying it was dangerous to keep her where cats were dying. Its also during this passage that he reveals Rowanstar has been losing lives, undisclosed how many, and that if after everything the other clans chose to let them die than it was up to starclan to judge them. This is obviously an unpopular decision, Scorchfur especially resents it feeling that if they had kept the apprentice they would have gotten the herb, and Spikefur tells him that he should hope that Rowanstar doesn't die because [Crowfrost] is no leader. Crowfrost continues to hide how sick he actually is, to the degree that he doesn't show symptoms to the rest of the clan until Kinkfur's death, and then by that point even though the Lungwort is stolen by the medicine cats that night he is unable to recover and dies just a few days later. The dude is massively tragic and endures the scorn of his clan for letting twigpaw go even as he lays dying. He is a very special guy to me idk just very neat.

[silver-studios]

How Shang Qinghua Ends Up Conning a Sect

AU where everything happens as it does in canon right up until the Mobei-Jun mission.

Shang Qinghua's system warns him earlier than it does in canon to be prepared, and he connects the dots, at which point he freaks out because he does not want to become a canon fodder spy. So SQH starts to protest being assigned to the mission, doing his best to get out of going by grovelling before his shixiong. Unfortunately, the Peak Lord happens to be passing by as this is happening and expresses disapproval at SQH trying to shirk his duties, forcing him to go and also ending up in him being saddled with even more chores while he’s at it much to his fellow disciples’ smug pleasure.

Not that the smugness lasts for long since they all end up dead. SQH does what he does best and just plays dead instead of pledging allegiance and then runs away once MBJ passes out (no moshang in this AU rip). He makes his way to the Sect alone because he isn’t even sure if they’ll send someone for him and makes it there just as the search party is leaving, bursting into tears from exhaustion and relief and admitting that everyone else is dead because of a demon attack.

He’s mostly numb and in denial in the aftermath because what do you mean he’s just subverted his major death flag?? Does he just live normally now until Luo Binghe swings by to massacre them?

He’s debating this when SQQ swoops in suspiciously to question how Shang-shidi alone managed to survive and crawl his way back to the Sect, to which SQH freaks out and kind of implies (or outright states) that he can see the future. SQQ is immediately disbelieving and YQY intervenes because SQH looks close to having a stroke, and SQH figures that since he has already stuck his foot in his mouth, he may as well buckle down and run with his technically-not-a-lie. So, he tells them that he knows their whole lore, even name dropping Xuan Su, the Qiu mansion and Wu Yanzi because he's pretty much obligated to commit to the bit at this point.

YQY pales and SQQ immediately goes on the defensive, telling him to keep his mouth shut, to which SQH protests because he’s known this whole time and hasn’t said a word. He really just wants to lay low and mind his business, guys, he swears. This is YOUR toxic doomed yaoi, not OUR toxic doomed yaoi.

YQY tells him that SQH clearly has a gift and they should inform the Peak Lords. SQH protests because obviously there’s no gift to speak of, and his ass does not need to risk being exposed like this. SQQ— still clearly on the fence about the whole seeing the future thing— agrees and practically drags SQH to face judgement for his crime of bullshitting.

Surprisingly, the An Ding Peak Lord actually appears to consider this farce because he remembers how badly SQH didn’t want to go on this mission. Appearing horrified, he asks, “Is this why you didn’t want to go? Because you knew what awaited you?” SQH just goes with it, nodding along and looking extra pathetic. “Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

Because he’d look like a crazy person??? “This disciple is aware that his…foresight is hard to believe in.” Great, now his Shizun thinks he has a tragic backstory like Cassandra or something. Good. Feel bad. You sent SQH into the jaws of death after all. Some guilt is exactly what you should be feeling.

The Sect Leader who is also present is less quick to trust in SQH’s claims since he isn’t angsting over the death of a bunch of disciples, and he proposes that they test SQH’s abilities somehow. Shit, SQH should have written this guy to be stupider; now he’s about to be executed or something for lying. He wracks his brains desperately for the plot he only really half-recalls, and manages to give out the location of some super mystical artefact to convince them. Just to be safe, he also says he knows the courtesy names of the entire Qing generation to come, though he refrains from telling them exactly which pupil will inherit the names. It takes a few days to confirm both his ‘predictions’ but soon enough SQH has been dubbed a certified Seer.

He ends up having to spend some time with Qian Cao and the divination/feng shui Peak Lords so they can make sure he’s physically and spiritually alright while they try to work out the extent of his powers so he isn’t hurting himself somehow. Since there are no powers to speak of, SQH knows it’s all useless but just lets them do whatever. The divination/feng shui Peak Lord is a little puzzled because usually divination involves seeking visions out through ritual, sacrifice or calculation. Seemingly random visions that are involuntary and inherent are exceedingly rare. They can’t sense anything inhuman or demonic off him either so it’s 100% all him, which is a trait of an extremely rare form of shamanism. SQH is mildly hysterical listening to them puzzle over his bullshit but needs must.

”Shang-shizi must have encountered some powerful god or spirit as a baby or in a past life.”

Sure, yeah, let's go with that. Why ever the fuck not.

They inform him that evil spirits and demons are often attracted to people like him for their qi, so he needs to learn how to defend himself. Caught in a lie of his own making, SQH can only curse in his heart and agree.

The An Ding Peak Lord offers to let him transfer to the feng shui peak (still wanting to compensate SQH somehow) but System immediately starts threatening SQH who bursts into tears from how stressful this ordeal has been and begs on his knees to be allowed to stay on An Ding. His Shizun is deeply touched, mistaking his desperation as love for this peak, and of course allows him to stay, remarking over how he had no idea “Hua-er was such a good, filial child” and that “this master is so lucky to have such a devoted disciple.” The misunderstandings between them continue to grow.

Since he’s stuck spending inordinate amounts of time learning various chants, prayers and rituals to protect himself, he has to do some serious bootlicking if he ever wants to be promoted to Inner Disciple. Thus, SQH doubles down on sabotaging his seniors and currying favour with Shizun in every spare moment he has. At least the others are discouraged from giving him too many chores because of his tighter schedule and Shizun's guilt. Shamelessly, SQH employs some of the tricks he’s learning (like talisman-making and minor spells) to his advantage so that he’s positively hovering around his Shizun like a very dedicated housefly over an attractive pile of garbage.

His shizun is none the wiser and is convinced his little disciple is a dutiful angel. Soon enough, SQH bags his promotion and subverts System-given punishment.

Rumours about his “power” spread, and people want to prod and see for themselves if it’s legit. Most of the time, he has to turn them away because fuck you he’s not a fortune cookie and he has no powers to speak of anyways, but sometimes someone will ask him something that he actually does know. For example, A Qian Cao disciple needs to know where to find this super niche herb, or SQH knows how to cure this obscure predicament, or Qing Jing needs to know about some culture or beast, or Wan Jian wants to find a super rare ore. Shizun is struggling with a contract, but SQH recognises that name as wife #465’s backstory and spills the tea, allowing them to be “talked into” better terms. Sometimes, he just makes educated guesses about the economic scene based on modern trends and statistics, and people hail him as a prophet. As a gift, his Shizun gives him a journal they recovered from a former shaman. SQH is horrified by the fact that he now essentially possesses a grimoire.

Then one day, he receives a request from his juniors to investigate a shed they swear is haunted. It is haunted, but SQH manages to banish the ghost and it’s fine. No biggie. Why are they looking at him with stars in their eyes? He also realises atp that the more he learns to use the spiritual arts, the more he’s able to interact with spirits (very double-edged sword) and great now that’s one more dumb fucking way he could die. He decides to say fuck it to xianxia social norms and tattoos himself with protective seals because hell nah. There may or may not be a small fan club growing in the background but that's not important (it is to me I want him to be appreciated).

Inevitably, he’s assigned to a mission. Unfortunately, he’s stuck with SQQ, who specifically requested to work with him much to Shizun’s delight (his Hua-er is making connections!) and SQH’s dismay. They’re supposed to appraise some rare book or whatever and negotiate a trade because Qing Jing’s Peak Lord really wants this one fucking book. SQH spends the entire trip to the collector’s home sweating while SQQ glares at him. It just gets worse because once they get there, the place is closed which pisses SQQ off even more who acts like it’s SQH’s fault.

Before SQH can apologise for daring to exist, a woman peeks out at them from inside the shop and appears to be greatly relieved to see a pair of cultivators. She tells them her husband has been acting super fucking weird but the doctors’ haven’t been able to help, claiming that he’s just gone insane, but maybe the cultivators can take a look and make sure it’s not some demon. SQH wants to protest because this is so far above his pay grade but SQQ silences him with one look and asks to be taken to the husband since “My shidi here is particularly gifted with the spirit arts.” Shen-shixiong, please this one is sorry, have mercy!

Anyways, SQH takes one look at the guy and is like “No yeah he’s definitely possessed lol.” He has to perform some ritual to determine just what is possessing the husband though and learns that it’s a ghost that will have to be forcibly ejected out of the dude’s body. SQQ is dubious about his skills but goes along with it begrudgingly, helping SQH gather supplies for the exorcism since they’re stuck seeing this through now because of him. He’s being prissy, and Qinghua is already nervous about an impromptu exorcism when he’s never done one by himself so he ends up snapping at him about “I’m not out to get you! I didn’t mean to learn your tragic backstory, but I’ve known all along and could literally not give less of a fuck, so can you stop being even more of an asshole than usual and just find me some fucking flowers so we can be done with this and go home!” And SQQ is so startled by the uncharacteristic outburst that he goes along with it.

The exorcism is…fine. The ritual is ok, but SQH wasn’t expecting quite that much resistance, so he has to have SQQ distract the ghost while he works on banishing it back to whatever hole it crawled out of. It’s tiring work, especially for his first solo exorcism, and he pretty much passes out as soon as it’s over. He wakes up in one of the collector’s guest bedrooms and awkwardly apologises for fainting and also for screaming at SQQ earlier. SQQ looks at him and sniffs, graciously forgiving him. SQH earnestly reiterates that he’ll keep his mouth shut about the stuff he knows. SQQ doesn’t respond to that but tells him that the collector is giving them the book for free as thanks so they can fuck off as soon as SQH is well enough.

They give the book to QJ Peak Lord but before SQH can fuck off, SQQ corners him again. “Earlier, you mentioned something about Xuan Su that Yue-shixiong clearly wanted to keep secret. What is it?” SQH tries to dither “ah, it’s really not my place…” Then he sees the look on SQQ’s face, remembers that he actually values his life and promptly rats YQY out before scurrying off to safety while SQQ immediately flies over to Qiong Ding to rip YQY a new one for keeping such a huge secret from him.

SQH is tasked to tidy Shizun’s office before some guests arrive and ends up rearranging the furniture because the feng shui in there sucked ass tbh and his Shizun is so pleased by the gesture that he decides to start grooming him for head disciple duties. Not that SQH really realises what’s happening. He just knows he suddenly has even more grunt work to do and is silently cursing his Shizun out over it.

He’s on Qiong Ding for inventory when YQY corners him much to his horror because YQY is wearing his super creepy empty smile as he brings up how SQH snitched on him. SQH is already halfway through apologising for breathing when YQY cuts him off to thank him for the intervention, assuring him that if SQH needs help or a favour, YQY will have his back. Great. Thanks I guess???

Anyways so thanks to his connections, his Shizun is even more impressed and officially makes him Head Disciple. First order of business is actually a mission with Liu Qingge since SQQ is going with YQY. Their mission is to investigate a haunted mirror that causes hallucinations and basically tricks its victims into violent self-destruction. Before they can even enter, SQH is making LQG promise that he won’t try to attack or provoke the mirror because if LQG goes crazy and tries to kill SQH, he might actually die. LQG scoffs, mutters something about weak cultivation, begrudgingly promises, and then promptly gets impatient halfway through SQH extensive diagnosis and packaging process and tries to stab the mirror because it reeks of evil and should clearly be destroyed.

Luckily, SQH’s idiot system actually has its uses and it doesn’t allow any other sentient being to influence him meaning he’s pretty possession proof. Unluckily, LQG does not have this built in immunity and starts trying to kill SQH who is suddenly stuck fighting for his life against the soon-to-be War God of Bai Zhan. He runs and screams the whole time and kind of blacks out in his blind panic, but next thing he knows, he’s slapped LQG with a temporary qi disrupting talisman and locked him in a room. It won’t hold him for long, but at least he’s bought himself some time with this. SQH then has to go about exorcising the fucking mirror. Halfway through his chanting, LQG escapes his enclosure and bursts in, so now SQH is hysterically fighting him off while simultaneously finishing his chant because if he stops, he’ll have to start over and it might legitimately kill him. He manages and then chucks some stray debris to shatter it for good measure just as LQG tackles him. The spell breaks and LQG just kind of freezes, supremely disoriented and trying to figure out what is happening when SQH just fucking decks him, punting him through the already damaged wall and yelling, “I asked you not to do one thing, and what do you do?! You do the thing! The thing I specifically asked you not to do!! You fucking clown, Liu-shidi! You’re lucky you’re so pretty because, right now, it’s the only thing keeping me from ripping your face off and beating you to death with it” before promptly bursting into tears.

It’s a really awkward flight back home because SQH is straight up refusing to even acknowledge LQG’s existence (partly out of anger because what an idiot and partly because he just threatened someone who could definitely eviscerate him???), and LQG is unusually contrite in the wake of the mission that he almost botched and his usually timid shixiong’s fury. When they make it back to the sect, he goes to apologise (because SQH is a really fast flier and LQG could barely catch up to him the whole trip, let alone speak), but SQH cuts him off and orders him to go to Qian Cao and have them do a post-possession check up while he goes to give his Shizun a report on why they destroyed the mirror they were actually supposed to bring back for storage. LQG sulks harder but actually does as asked because SQH still looks to be in no mood for arguments.

Once things have calmed, SQH is mortified and determined to just avoid LQG because it’s super likely the guy will just forget about his existence so long as he stays out of sight. LQG does not forget. LQG keeps trying to seek him out and leaving monster carcasses for him to find, which SQH assumes with horror is meant to be a threat to his life and just avoids his shidi even harder. He’s not above fainting to get out of confrontations too! LQG has no idea what he’s dealing with.

A very frustrated and determined LQG finally manages to corner SQH after a Peak Lord meeting that the Head Disciples got to sit in on to learn since their shizuns are going to ascend soon. SQH decides that SQQ is actually the lesser of two evils and shamelessly dives behind him for cover which instantly pisses LQG off because “You’re willing to use him to avoid me?”

SQQ: Ex-cuse me? What is that supposed to mean?

SQH: Yeah! I love hanging out with Shen-shixong!

[collective disbelief]

YQY: (fake smiling and subtly hiding SQH behind him) Did you need something from Shang-shidi, Liu-shidi?

LQG: …wanted to thank him. and apologise.

SQH: Wait why????

LQG: for the mission. I screwed up and you had to complete the mission on your own when it was my job to protect you and provide backup. You could have left me since I was a hinderance to our objective and went against your orders but you didn’t. Thank you.

SQH: Well, it’s fine now, isn’t it?

LQG: (insistent) You saved my life

SQH: We’re martial siblings, haha, no biggie

SQQ: (immediately catching on and suddenly very smug) So you owe Shang-shidi a debt

SQH: He does????

LQG: I do

SQH: You do????

LQG wants to know how to repay the debt but SQH just waves him off, saying he’ll let him know if he thinks of something, mostly just to be rid of him because he’s really intense and it’s not good for SQH’s heart. LQG just thinks that SQH is dismissing him because he probably thinks LQG is unreliable after the disaster mission. Well, LQG will just have to prove him otherwise. And so begin the misunderstandings between these two as well.

Meanwhile, SQH’s Shizun watching with fond eyes: Ah, my Hua-er is making so many friends. He’s so popular. I’m so proud.

Qian Cao’s peak lord: Actually, I think he’s having a heart attack right now. Someone should probably get him.

The battle against TLJ takes place and most of the martial siblings have to go help the effort, though SQH is not one of them because the sect does have to keep running while everyone's gone. He’s helping SQQ double check that the Qing Jing supplies are up to par and he can tell SQQ is nervous because he's even more snappy and irritable than usual. Finally, SQH turns to him and says with certainty, “It will be fine, shixiong. You will be fine, Yue-shixiong will be fine, Liu-shidi will downright thrive.”

SQQ: Who’s worried about that meathead?

SQH: I’m just saying.

SQQ: …You’ve had a vision

SQH: Sure

SQQ asks for details and SQH admits YQY will have to unsheathe his blade but he will survive and his newly earned renown will really boost the sect’s own reputation once he becomes Sect Leader. Suspicious about the way SQH says that, SQQ prods about casualties. SQH admits that they will be ascending as Peak Lords very soon though he doesn’t elaborate on who it is specifically because “Knowledge of the future is a heavy weight to bear, shixiong.”

SQQ: What, you think I’m too weak to know?

SQH: I didn’t say that. I know exactly how strong you are and I admire you, but…I wouldn’t wish this burden upon anyone else, shixiong. Not truly. It’s dangerous and disheartening. People shouldn’t be privy to their fate. It’s unnatural.

SQQ lets it go because SQH looks abnormally intense as he talks about how he views his gift, but it does leave him thoughtful about just what kind of futures SQH foresees.

Anyways, the Sect Leader gets fatally injured in the battle, and the Peak Lords ascend hastily before he can actually die so that they can all pass on together. SQH finally succeeds in his longstanding mission, but he can’t say he’s thrilled about the promotion considering he has to really hit the ground running. An Ding can’t afford transition phases as things stand. So, he spends a month categorising which systems to keep, which to overhaul and how he’d overhaul them. All the staff is ruthlessly vetted, and he’s basically functioning as a one-man army just trying to keep on top of all the requests being sent his way too.

Needless to say, when he stumbles into the first official mandatory Peak Lords meeting, he looks like death itself. He’s straight up dissociating through most of it, only listening with half an ear when he’s directly addressed. He doesn’t even remember what he said when it was his turn to speak because he’s so out of it. At some point, he lifts his tea, misses his mouth and just pours it in his lap without blinking. SQQ watches him with equal parts clinical curiosity and disgust. The agenda is finished and it’s open floor for anyone who has anything extra to mention. Someone requests something from him and he nods along without really hearing it because if it’s not on paper, it’s not important right now.

Someone starts an argument and Qi Qingqi is being extra loud to be heard; they still haven’t been dismissed even though all of this is unnecessary and SQH has a killer migraine. He turns to god and prays for patience. SQQ, sitting next to him and listening, corrects him because he’s using the wrong phrase. “You mean strength,” he says.

SQH snorts and mutters under his breath, “If the gods gave me strength, Qi-shimei would be dead.”

In a room of Peak Lords, whispering is pointless. There is silence as everyone stares at an unusually vindictive SQH. QQQ looks baffled, affronted, and impressed simultaneously.

Then, LQG mutters, “I thought I was the only one he threatened like that.” He manages to sound both relieved and put out.

SQQ, like a shark smelling blood, turns to stare at him judgmentally and, in a condescendingly sweet manner, asks, “Is shidi upset about not getting special treatment anymore?” The provocation works, of course, and a new argument errupts.

SQH watches blankly, hands twitching to his sleeves where he keeps talismans, tired and unhinged enough to actually contemplate literally cursing his martial siblings when a pointed “Shang-shidi” draws his attention to YQY who smiles emptily and says, “No.”

”But, shixiong—”

”No.”

Then, one day, YQY, SQQ, SQH, QQQ and LQG are on their way back from some formal sect event or the other when they come across a growing mass of supernatural resentment flying right towards them. Naturally, as the ‘psychic’ SQH is looked upon to figure out what is going on. He’s reluctant to really get close and is kind of mumbling while he places diagnostic arrays, “Man it’d be convenient if you could just straight up tell me so we’d all save time.” The mass kind of pauses for a moment and then clears just enough for SQH’s more supernaturally attuned eyes to see.

”Su Xiyan?!!”

Su Xiyan the Bog Monster is clearly trying to tell him something but he’s not psychic enough for actual ghostly communication so it takes him a second to make out through the garbled moaning and pained shrieking that she says baby at some point. “Oh, Luo Binghe?” he says, happy just to have caught something. The Bog Monster projects surprise. The Peak Lords watch with dispassionate confusion.

“Yeah I know the whole story. Sorry about what happened to you by the way. I couldn’t really do anything to stop it unfortunately. Something about fixed points in fate that can’t be changed? Not that that’s like fair. To you, I mean.” Great now he feels guilty and SQQ has the creepy contemplative look in his eyes again. “So, how can I help you?”

More convoluted bog monster charades ensues. Finally, he guesses she wants him to go find LBH and take care of him because he’s just been orphaned. Again.

So, SQH turns to his fellow Peak Lords, shrugs at them, offers no other explanation and accepts that he’s about to change the fate of the world as he knew it. In the end, it’s maddeningly simple really. LBH is a tiny thing, all of seven years old, big eyes in a precious face framed by adorable curly hair. SQH tells him he’s an immortal master who knew his birth mother and LBH, after some explaining that his mom actually loved him and was forced to abandon him because she was dying, agrees to go with him. So, SQH is officially a dad now. Su Xiyan, satisfied that her baby is ok for good, lets go of her resentments and moves on to the afterlife.

SQH has the dubious honour of explaining to his martial siblings that he has adopted a half-demon child because his ghost mom asked him to, admitting to the full story of what actually happened between Su Xiyan and TLJ. Understandably, they’re shocked. There’s initially some questions about why SQH didn’t say anything sooner when an innocent Su Xiyan was imprisoned. SQH says that he couldn’t. SQQ deduces that his gift of foresight actually comes at a cost.

There’s no gift so there’s no real cost, but SQH isn’t above lying. He just openly says that if he tries to change certain things he knows of, it would cost him his life. He didn’t even want to come to Cang Qiong initially, but every time he even thought of changing his fate, he knew he’d die. He knew about YQY’s qi deviation before YQY had even become an inner disciple but again he couldn’t stop it. He hadn’t even thought of intervening in LBH’s fate because he’d assumed he couldn’t. He doesn’t know why he’s being allowed now.

SQQ catches onto the implication that LBH is important to fate somehow then, and SQH haltingly admits that, as far as he knew, LBH would have the power to end the world if he so wanted. If Cang Qiong looks after him and supports him though, they’d have all that power devoted to them. In the end it doesn’t take much convincing to be honest. LBH does have that white sheep protagonist halo thing going for him after all.

SQH ends up freeing TLJ, claiming that he’s just diverting the potential end of the world. TLJ is revived and told the full truth of what happened. He meets LBH who is very confused and very shy, but not averse. At least until he realises he might have to go away with TLJ at which he point he bursts into tears because he doesn’t want to leave SQH. Since TLJ is now stuck co-parenting, he agrees to a secret alliance with Cang Qiong and goes to make sure the demon realm hasn’t forgotten who’s boss.

LBH grows up in both realms, learning under LQG and his dad and fully coming into his own as a supremely powerful cultivator and heir to the demon throne. SQQ asks if SQH ever foresaw his own death and SQH admits that he did. He saw all of their deaths. SQQ asks if fate really can be changed to which SQH is happy to report that yeah, not everything is set in stone.

”And what do you see now?”

”Nothing actually. I haven’t had a vision in years.” Or ever.

”Doesn’t that make you nervous?”

”Everything makes me nervous, shixiong.” Pause. “But, this once, it’s not too bad. Not knowing what the future holds means that anything is possible.”

Fate will be what they make of it now, and this is just the beginning.

[makingyourfavinmiimaker]

hi! welcome to my sideblog where i will Making your fav in Mii Maker™.

who are you?

i am simply a lover of miis. i go by a handful of different names but you can just call me pants! (she/her 🏳️‍⚧️)

why are you? (doing this)

mii making has been a lifelong passion of mine and after getting interested in @making-you-in-spore's posts and the "making you" ecosystem broadly it felt only fitting to throw my hat in the ring. as nintendo's support of miis has dwindled over time, the niche of mii making blogs has also dwindled, and somebody has to pick up the slack! maybe things will change with the new tomodachi life game and the switch 2 over the horizon, who knows! regardless, i will always shoot for the miis. my allegiance is unwavering.

what are you? (making)

let me make one thing very clear: i will not be using the "makeup" mechanic of the miitopia switch port. no shade to anyone who uses it, ive had a lot of fun with it too! i just have more fun with the limitations of the wii u/3ds mii maker. ever since the miitopia switch port came out it feels like miis made with the makeup have gotten a lot more attention, and somebody has to rep the classic miis! also, while i do have the full capability to port screenshots from my various mii making devices to my phone/computer, idk if ill feel like it. its up to chance if ill have the nerve. itll probably just be pictures of my 3ds screen taken on my phone the vast majority of the time

how are you?

im doing pretty good thanks for asking

are you taking requests?

yes! ive been mii making for so long that it comes pretty naturally to me (mii hehe) so i think i should be able to make them pretty fast. also for the most part ive already made miis of my favorite characters, so theres a good chance if you ask ill already have made something youre looking for! go obscure! go wild! i might even import it into some mii related game if i feel like it! no promises though! thats hard work!

generally i make whatever asks interest me the most first but i promise i will get to your request eventually! it just so happens that eventually can be a long time i am only one woman and i have many mouths to feed like a mother bird feeding baby birds miis from her mouth. be patient and you will have your wishes fufilled

is there a list of all the miis youve made?

yes!

what is your banner/pfp?

my pfp is a picture of my mii taken from pikmin bloom, i just found it in my camera roll on a whim when i went looking. my banner is a picture of my son Nubby from Nubby's Number Factory i didnt have any part in the games development i just feel strong maternal instincts towards him. image taken from tomodachi life, ill update this later with his outfit and room names

thats all for now!

ill probably get around to putting some of my proudest miis here eventually as a kind of portfolio but for now... the foundation has been laid... mii making is all that remains.

[theriverbeyond]

Ok so a part of the NtN epilogue that has always bugged me is how Alecto very specifically doesn't know who Harrow is until she bites kisses her and tastes her blood

Which on its own wouldn't necessarily mean much, except that Harrow is shown repeatedly to look almost exactly like Anastasia, and Alecto-in-her-aspect-as-Nona is shown to be very observant and aware of physical features. It's not, like, a vision issue, after waking up Alecto immediately recognizes Pyrrha, and knows the general features of Harrow i.e. "black-eyed infant". And in her aspect as Nona, she is keenly observant of physical features. She waxes poetic about all the little ways Honesty and Pyrrha's red hair differs from Kiriona's, and more than that, she immediately recognizes Kiriona's corpse as the girl from her dream. So why doesn't she recognize Harrow?

The other Lyctors recognize Harrow. The first thing Augustine says upon meeting her is: "Harrowhark the First—ninth saint, then, looking at you I can tell that’s appropriate", and then in the same scene he calls her "Anastasia come again." Mercymorn insults her ("You're not as pretty as Anastasia") but in that insult, she again emphasizes the physical similarity between Harrow and Anastasia. These statements are way more significant when you remember in this scene, Harrow has just woken up after travel through the River, and is still wearing a hospital gown. no black vestments, no Ninth Aesthetics, the only things really "Ninth" about her are her physical features.

And the first thing Alecto does after she realizes that Harrow is Anastasia's blood is to apologize about Samael and reiterate her "vow", which she specifically did not remember until after she remembered Anastasia.

So like. What does this mean? I cannot help but have a feeling that this relates to blood wards being broken by the blood of a relative, the Ninth House being the House of the Sewn Tongue, and the established fact that necromancy can fuck with memory and perception. I guess I had always assumed the original "sewn tongue" referred to Anastasia but like what if it referred to Alecto? And the established blood ward (the Tomb) could only be spoofed by a close relative (because John wouldn't program it to let anyone but himself in), but theoretically what is stopping Anastasia from whipping up a theorem for a blood ward that simply requires any kind of direct genetic link? Why would Alecto have forgotten her vows, how does this relate to Samael, why was she swearing allegiance to Anastasia? If she was made to forget because that vow was a secret, who was it kept secret from (John, presumably), and why, and how will this impact Alecto's motivations and actions in the next book? John seemed happy/relieved to see Alecto when she woke him up via sword-to-the-chest, but the Alecto he put to sleep (presumably) didn't remember her vows to Anastasia, and the Alecto who stabs him does, and what could this mean? How does this all connect to Anastasia's bones being nestled by the Rock on the inside of the tomb? Did Anastasia have a long term plan, or was she just hoping that the next time Alecto woke up that things would be Different? What could she possibly have hoped or assumed would have changed in that interim time? How does this connect to Alecto calling out for Anastasia right before John leads her into the Tomb? What HAPPENED between Anastasia and Alecto, and John, and Samael, and—(I am pulled off stage with a large hook)