#just not when it comes to sex

[hattersarts]

im already at the south downs cottage guys, catch up

[redysetdare]

I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.

The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.

[kuromi-hoemie]

ngl it does really annoy me when everyone accepts “ace people don't have sex” as the baseline assumption instead of ace people just not experiencing sexual attraction.

you can still have sex but be driven by different reasons, like to me it is a kind of affection and way to hang out with people that is influenced by the relationship we have with each other. i can think people are pretty to look at with or without their clothes without sexual attraction in the mix.

when i see something full of ppl assuming ace people don't have sex i always want to jump on it and be annoying like MEEEE I'M ACE PEOPLE WHO HAS SEX, WE EXIST WE EXIST STOP ASSUMING WE DON'T THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO STRAIGHT UP WILL NOT DATE OR BE INTERESTED IN ACE PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THIS MISCONCEPTION AND WE E X I S T.

stop!!!! assuming ace people do not have sex!!!!!!!! if you don't know then ask if it's appropriate!!!!!!!!!!! stop thinking about it in a binary you either do or don't have sex kind of way!!!!!! this is fundamentally off!!!!!!!!!!!! if you are ace you do not have sexual ATTRACTION!!!!!!!!!!!

as to how we feel about and handle sex, that varies person to person but sex favorable aces are a lot more common than you'd think. hell, figuring out I'm ace was the hardest thing to figure out about myself because all i ever saw people talk about was whether you have sex or not. I'm sure there's a lot more people who haven't figured it out for this same reason, and let me tell you it's hard to know you're missing a whole ass type of attraction when you've never experienced it before and didn't know it was missing to begin with!!

ace is not synonymous with sexless. aces who don't have sex don't speak for me, and y'all gotta stop letting them be the only face of the community. there are More Of Us, it is All Of Us.

accepting that baseline at face value leaves you uninformed and it's frustrating to see this over and over again. challenge yourself to do better and try understanding ace people more.

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[perfectlyripeclementine]

pulling out before pushing back in is honestly criminally underrated. like. get me into it, get me used to the feeling of you inside of me, and then pull out to watch my eyes roll from how empty i feel. pull out while i’m moving to your rhythm to hear me whine and beg. pull out to spread my wetness all over me so you can push in and out easier. pull out and then make me wait for it because you just like seeing me all worked out for you. pull out and then make me suck you off because you want my tongue right now actually and because you know i’ll be spending the whole time thinking about you flipping me over to fuck me. pull out because you know i’ll be wetter and louder and all fucking yours when you start fucking me again.

[vaguely-concerned]

having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????

[kittykatninja321]

Post-Flashpoint comics have been trying to push the idea of Jason as a ladies man and each time I have just not been convinced I say this with all the love in my heart I will concede to the fact that Jason Todd has had sex maybe 3 times. If I’m being generous

[moutheyes]

that's at least three wetv shows this year (knock knock boys, i saw you in my dream, and now monster next door) that have quietly emphasized platonic, young adult friends talking openly about sex, wanting sex, being sexually active, teasing each other about sex, etc. it's not just about having a sex-positive message, it's the casual and direct nature of these interactions—that it's not just a wink-wink nudge-nudge moment, that the script makes it feel lived-in, like these characters have achieved a level of genuine intimacy that often goes missing in romance-focused shows. maybe revolutionary is an overstatement but it feels important nonetheless—a small detail that adds some refreshing realism to the BL fantasyscape.

[fisheito]

omg where'd you get your top it looks like it would fall apart after one cycle in the wash

[wickjump]

lvl20 cross is my no.1 enemy btw. if i see him there will be an unspecified lethal weapon in my paws and it will be pointed in his general location

[blushedfemmes]

… :/

[butwhatifidothis]

I guess the ultimate thing that kills CF for me - or at least nudges it away from me saying I definitively like it - is just how much Edelgard is clearly written with the player in mind before she's written with her character in mind.

Because on all of the other routes, there's a power to Edelgard's presence. Even on BE, there's a sense that for as lonely as Edelgard might be, she still ultimately will do whatever it takes for her to get what she wants. Be that be killing her citizens (or otherwise letting them be killed), endangering her friends, assisting in kidnapping people, allowing Byleth to support her only when they have the Sword of the Creator, covering for TWS - no bar is too low for her to limbo under if doing so means she's even a step closer to her goals.

She's manipulative! She's deceitful! She doesn't care for the lives of her people! Even her friends are forfeit if they try to stand in her way! And this happens no matter how close you, the player, get to her, in the case of BE - C+ ain't stoppin' Remire, and going to the coronation ain't stopping the Holy Tomb.

And in the war phase, she is dominating the field. She has the Kingdom completely on the ropes, down to a few houses standing against Imperial rule, and the Alliance is stuck in neutrality - she may not be able to do much to it, but neither can they do anything to her (to say nothing of the Alliance houses who stand with her). She's far from the underdog in this race, and she shows off how threatening she can be.

CF? Her route?

She scweams at scawy rats. She gets embawwassed when you find her dwawings. She's just so wonewy, and she's just so gwad that you chose her. She somehow fails to capture Rhea, or frame Dimitri for regicide, and so now has to deal with that on the Kingdom's side of the war. But that doesn't stop Elly Welly-kins fwom twying to find her pwecious teacher, because you're just so important to her. She cwies and hugs you when you meet her in the Goddess Tower!! Because she missed you so much!!

It's like... Dimitri and Claude certainly show different sides of themselves on their respective routes. It's the whole point! You grow closer to them and thus see how they treat those close to them, as opposed to being the Kinda Neat Teacher they see run along every now and then. But, like... Claude doesn't become a blushing maiden whenever Byleth speaks with him on VW. Dimitri doesn't scream at scary rats and get called cute for it on AM. They don't get Basic Bitch Gap Moe Traits slapped onto them that are only ever shown to the player and only on their routes. Unlike Edelgard.

Dimitri's endearing trait is that he's this big huge dude who can bench-press forests and arm-wrestle god who still wants to learn to sew and who teaches kids to protect themselves and who buys candies for his friends. Claude's endearing trait is that he's this mastermind planner who has contingency and lie and obfuscation as three separate legal government names who still wants everyone to be safe and happy and hold hands and be friends.

Edelgard is strong, confident, and willing to do some of the shittiest things known to man for her goals. Her endearing trait is that her screams are cute. She's shy about her drawings of the player character. She blushes over the player potentially joking about having sex with her per her JPN version of her C support; you know, the one about how Byleth walks in on Edelgard muttering in her sleep from a nightmare about her tortured family? Perfect time to joke about fucking her! Dimitri and Claude's endearments are, well, endearing; Edelgard's are all straight up embarrassing for her.

Hell, even the smaller stuff is affected! Claude's passion for poisons and mushrooms are things he has no qualms about having others know about, despite how weird they are. Dimitri laughing at shitty jokes brings him no personal discomfort or embarrassment, despite just how loudly he laughs at them. They have traits to them that can easily be uwu worthy, and they don't care! Of the lords, only Edelgard does! Because, it feels like, the only way for a strong, resolute female character to come off as approachable is if she's knocked down a few pegs for specifically and only you, the player.

And that sucks ass! I'm sorry, but when I'm playing Edelgard's route I don't want to deal with her hiding herself away in her room for a month IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING WAR because she's just so embawwassed! It is so fucking insensitive that Edelgard is literally the only lord of the three who can have her trauma openly belittled at any point in the story by Byleth, all to have some cheap cutesy uwu moment about her fear of rats (calling her screaming in fear cute and INSISTING that it's really cute which is just. Fucking ew man)! Why can we fucking mock Edelgard's manner of speech during the MASSACRE OF REMIRE?

This shit doesn't happen to Claude or Dimitri! And saying "oh just don't pick those options then" is bullshit because no equivalent options exist for the male lords! It's piss-boilingly annoying that the second you choose to see things from the strong confident villainous ambitious female lord's perspective you can reduce her down to this bumbling moeblob just for you (sometimes unavoidably!) like!! Dude!

[moronic-validity]

I have been up for two hours and all I can think about is texting best friend Gaz like dude, fuckin tired. Can't sleep. Weighted blanket missing. SOS.

(just some thoughts bc I'm tired and not used to being awake before 10. 18+ due to a singular comment, but this is self serving fluff)

And Gaz replies, because he always does when it's you.

Be there soon.

You don't even check your phone when it dings, you know he's already on the way.

You try your hardest to try to get yourself back to sleep, but all the blankets and pillows in your house simply don't have the weight to help you relax enough to sleep.

He parks his car next to yours and lets himself in with the spare key you made him (in case of emergencies), and he kicks off his shoes at the door before making his way back to your bedroom.

You were covered in pillows, blankets, and every vaguely soft item you could find.

He snorted. You flipped him off.

He pushed all the pillows and various other items off of you (why the hell did you have a pair of slippers mixed in with all the pillows) and got comfortable, laying his chest across yours.

You sighed happily, finally comfortable enough to fall asleep. He was heavy, warm, and everything about him radiated safety.

"Need me to tell you a bedtime story too?" His chuckle reverberates against your chest and you nod, making him laugh again.

"Alright so, have I told you about the time I fell out of a helicopter?" You can distantly hear his voice as you drift to sleep, a welcome rest after 18 hours of stress.

You wake up at some point later in the day, Gaz's arm wraped around your waist, holding you close. It's comfortable, familiar.

You nudge him.

"Ky... Lemme up, need t' pee." He grumbles, stubbornly pulling you closer against him.

"Kyle, I'll piss on both of us, lemme up." Your threat means little to him. He's been covered in worse and it would just leave you with a mess to clean up.

You sigh.

"Kyle. I can feel your stiffy against my back, lemme up." His eyes snap open and he lets go of you, holding up his hands in surrender while trying to explain the concept of morning wood.

You wave him off, walking to the bathroom.

Single easiest way to make him wake up.

[cry-ptidd]

Always been a bit confused on Laura past, you hint here and there, something about a nunnery and how that made despise God and the church. So, what exactly happened to her to make the way she did. Also was Hans the one who bit her or some other werewolf?

Alright, I do realize most people might not be aware of her story considering I never really made a post about it and I deleted the fic of her backstory bc I didn't like it, so I'll summarize it here!

And no, she wasn't bitten by Hans. She is older than him by half a century or so

Laura's backstory/timeline masterpost

⚠️⚠️ TW for: sexual assault, religious abuse, victim blaming, emotional abuse, and VERY long babbling

1735 - Human life:

Laura is the eldest daughter of Jean Chastel and Anne Charbonnier. She was born in Gévaudan (now in the department of Haute-Loire) on the 24th of December 1735.

She was her father's favorite child, due to her and her mother surviving a difficult birth. This also led to her mother putting her a bit aside considering her father doted on her "like a son", taught her to read and write, and allowed her to not marry due to her disinterest in men (they both just thought she was chaste because of religion) and work with him in the fields, at the inn and other places. She learned French and Occitan.

Laura was brought up catholic, as most people in 18th century France, but she was particularly devout and religious. She was teased as a child for it, spending a lot of time in church and confessionals, which didn't help because her father didn't have the best reputation (he was nicknamed "de la masca", Occitan for "of the witch".) She started to pick up on Latin, though it was extremely rudimentary. Her overly religious attitude annoyed her own family sometimes, and their lack of emotional support led her to become a bit naive and confide a lot in religious authority figures.

She was an extremely diligent girl, always making sure her chores were finished and her work wasn't interrupted. That led to her sometimes putting her own health at risk in harsh winters, or disregarding people's warnings.

1758 - Bite:

Early spring of 1758; Laura was 22 when she was herding cattle near a clearing. She ignored the warning of the other villagers of wolf sightings, because the attacks were rare and she had a cattledog with her anyway. However, it turns out the villagers were right - safe for a few details.

Laura was attacked by a feral werewolf that scratched her stomach and bit her on the forearm after she put it up to not let it tear her throat out. A few of the village men were alerted by the commotion of her yells, the dog and cattle, and they managed to drive the werewolf off before it could devour her.

Sadly, she was now infected, and it showed, when in the next two weeks she was writhing in agony at the transformation that somehow healed her wounds and left big, ugly scars. People were starting to be afraid, wondering what the hell was going on. Her father was running around trying to find doctors with what money he had. Most locals dismissed the idea of a werewolf and thought she just had rabies, but the symptoms picked up by the doctors didn't support that hypothesis. Laura herself was going through it, spending hours upon hours of praying and reciting scripture and reading the Bible in hopes of a cure. The locals started to treat it as something you shouldn't talk about, considering how odd and ugly the details were, and people were avoiding the building where she was kept.

After about a month of very painful confusion, after her condition started to appear more supernatural than medical, Jean decided 'fuck it' and stuffed her in a carriage with a couple other men, before bringing her to a remote abbey.

1758 - The abbey:

Laura was brought to a remote Benedictine monastery, where 12 monks resided. She was welcomed at first, with suspicion of demonic possession, and given a room in the sub-level of the abbey.

Exorcism and purification rituals were routine, as well as the already implemented practices of the abbey. Laura was very willing to go with all of it, putting her trust in them, especially considering her awful mental state at that point.

However, about six months in, one of the men there went to her room at night and assaulted her. The others were alerted because of the commotion during imposed hours of silence. When they were found out, though, she was the one blamed for "seducing" the monk, because he was one of the "most devout" of them. A small scuffle ensued, and the abbot decided to give them both a "pardon" as long as they did a bit more service as penance, since they were "both in the wrong". After this, her relationship with the monks soured more and more.

The exorcisms stopped after a year in or so, since they saw no signs of improvement (and judged her no threat). She was however to stay at the monastery for the safety of others. Laura felt terribly alone, considering not only the fact that the abuse continued in secret but also that she was treated as basically a feral dog to be wary of, and just being a lost young woman surrounded by men that started to look at her with contempt. She considered escaping several times in her stay; however, each time she was either caught trying to sneak out or was too scared to go with it, fearing judgement from God for disobedience.

The abuse became well known some years in, but once again no one did anything, either being told by the abbot to keep it down and not talk about filth within the house of God, or spoken about by a handful of the men who took advantage of her fear and silence to vent out their frustrations. Their initial duty towards her was basically brushed aside and discarded, and they kept her around and subjugated for fear of her condition. Her lack of menstruation and fertility (because of the lycanthropy) were also attributed to her being a "wicked creature", that she needed to stay in here to be forgiven by God, or else her resistance to holy cleansing would be noticed by the Lord.

This went on for years. 6 years, 5 months and 13 days to be exact, of Laura begging for God's help and mercy, which at first was her begging for a cure to her condition so she'd be in His graces again, to her wanting it just so she could escape the abbey, to eventually praying for the monks not to hurt her anymore or at least lose interest, to her just begging to die because she was so afraid and hungry from not getting any of the meat that her body demanded (of course, she couldn't die of starvation or sickness, thanks to regeneration). Her biggest fear was that she was beginning to doubt God. Her faith in the monks was completely dead by the fifth year, but she was also starting to doubt anyone would save her. She also started to despise her father for bringing her here in the first place.

This all culminated to one night, after the monastery doors were closed, when one of the monks had just finished his little "escapade" in her room. He was about to get out and she got up, barely dressed and dirty, and started to call him out. He slapped and started to berate her, but she didn't listen, and jumped at him. His screams and pleas were ignored, because the others learned not to mind them. She devoured him, and all her pent up rage and fear turned into bloodlust, as she mauled each one of them and devoured them like cattle. Nothing but scraps of bone were left by the morning. This is when she got enough strength for her first transformation. By now, her fear of God turned into sheer resentment, spite and hatred, and she felt no apprehension at disobeying Him- in fact, she was going to do it on purpose, because He can go fuck Himself for not helping a helpless, desperate girl that was suffering right under His nose by His own men, especially when Laura had been such a devout Christian for so long.

1765 - Escape, start of the killings:

Laura broke out of the abbey in her wolf form, embracing her anger completely (for lack of any other emotion that served any purpose other than wanting to let herself die). She ventured out until she found civilization (eating a few travelers on the way), and found a young girl, Marie-Jeanne Valet, herding cows. She wanted to be discreet, but the reminder of her own human self (that she came to despise), and lunged at her. However Laura was driven off by the girl who managed to wound her with a homemade spear she was carrying to defend herself from the other wolf stalking the area (the same one that bit Laura). This drove Laura off, and what officially sparked the start of the hysteria.

Laura never transformed back into a human form for the duration of the terror. About a hundred deaths were attributed to her, but she killed way more in actuality.

In September 1765, Marie-Jeanne's recount of the attack and the subsequent hysteria reached the ears of the king, who sent one of his hunters, François Antoine, to kill the beast with his soldiers. However, they only killed the other werewolf in the area, which left Laura without a rival for food and did not stop the slaughter.

Battues and hunts were routine by now. Laura relished in outsmarting/overpowering each faction sent after her, starting to kill out of spite rather than food, picking off the weak and vulnerable and taunting the hunters by shrugging off their bullets like it was nothing, and her skin was starting to go from toughened to just impenetrable. Some preachers were talking about how the beast was a sign of the end of times, or how it's a punishment sent by God, and it made her so mad to be affiliated to Him that she ate those guys in broad daylight.

1767 - end of the terror:

This continued until the 19th of June 1767, when Jean Chastel took the head of a hunt for the beast, accompanied by a few men and their hounds.

It was three days of stalking and tracing, with a few bodies the beast left uneaten specifically to taunt them, until they stumbled on her in a clearing.

Laura mauled two of the hunters accompanying Chastel. Jean, however, had noted that normal weapons didn't seem to do much damage to it. So, a week prior, he had melted a silver medallion of the Virgin Mary into a mullet for his rifle. While the beast prepared to turn around and attack him, he cocked his rifle, aimed, and pulled the trigger. The bullet went through its left shoulder and out the chest; its howl resonated through the forest when it fell, and the hunting hounds were quick to attack as it limped off. Jean got a good look in the beast's eyes when he shot it, and familiarity washed over him- a feeling that would haunt him on his deathbed.

Laura, on the other hand, limped off into the forest and turned back into a woman for the first time in a couple years. Her heart had been shot out by the silver, and she was severely wounded; by all accounts she should've died, since silver is the one thing werewolves are weak to.

But somehow, she didn't, either out of sheer spite and stubbornness or because of a twisted joke by the universe.

Records of a "Laura Chastel" were scrapped from the archives on Jean's own request, likely out of guilt, and the more supernatural elements of the attacks were dismissed as rumors of scared, superstitious crowds.

1769 to 1995 - pre-Hellsing:

It took Laura over a year to properly recover her strength. This attack had not only done her body grievous damage, but also her psyche, at seeing her own father be the one to attempt and kill her- she already resented him, but it added a whole new layer of damage.

This also knocked her anger and arrogance down a couple of pegs. She had grown too greedy and reckless, and retaliation had been inevitable, which is a lesson she learned from that.

So, she grew more discreet and learned to be a proper wild animal - stay out of sight, snatch your prey, leave the area, stalk the shadows.

During the French Revolution, she recovered a lot of strength, due to eating and stealing the dumped bodies of those executed by the revolutionaries. She didn't care for the ideology or the impact on civilization at all, considering she grew to dislike humans and see them as her natural enemies/predators, but she did enjoy the chaos because it took any attention off her.

Her early years were more of her staying in the wilderness, only approaching humans either to eat, or to take her boredom off by seducing women - which she got better at doing overtime.

Late 19th and early 20th century she had started to come closer to civilization. She picked up a penchant for drinking, despite not being able to get drunk, and was often seen as a strange, shady homeless woman. In towns, she would pretend to be passed out in lone alleys to attract men and get a quick snack. She would also sometimes seduce women just to use their showers for warm water or get some clothes.

In ww2, she didn't do much out of her routine. During the invasion of France, she didn't care much for what was happening, but grew quite annoyed with the invading forces. She ate quite a lot of nazis, especially those camping in forest areas or those that came to bother her when she was in town, and made sure to avoid getting attention drawn to her. Most of the deaths were attributed to local resistance.

1995 - Battle against Alucard and invitation to Hellsing:

in the early spring of 1995, Laura had made the mistake of leaving the corpses of two British hikers in a place where they could be found, and another one of killing a Protestant pastor. The affair reached Hellsing, who saw the hints of possible supernatural threat in the case.

Alucard was sent to the town where the pastor had been killed, to investigate. Laura sensed the danger from miles away (a bit of a given, he has a freaky aura), and tried to lose him in the crowd. After failing and seeing him keep up the trial, she lured him out into the woods where they wouldn't be disturbed.

The fight started at around 11pm, in the middle of the woods. Laura knew he wasn't a normal person at first sight of course, but she didn't know the extent of Alucard's powers or of Hellsing at all. She had dealt with a few vampires that infringed on her territory already, but they were easy game, so she just opted to tear his head off and be done with it. Alucard, being the asshole gentleman he is, humored her and let her tear him to shreds to give her false hope and then reform as if nothing had happened. Laura was kinda freaked out by this when he did, but the shock quickly wore off because it just began to piss her off.

The real fight started when he pulled out the Casull. Laura knows silver is her weakness, and even if she grew somewhat of a mild resistance over the years she's not one to experiment. Alucard was starting to get interested after the first thirty minutes of her holding her own against him. He taunted her the entire time of course, but he grew more and more intrigued because of how fun she was to fight, and her abilities were obviously above any average werewolf. When she transformed, it was double the excitement because now he gets to brawl with a kaiju.

The fight went on for hours. Dawn was approaching when they were both starting to tire, and Alucard decided to end it. After many efforts, he aligned the gun and shot her straight in the heart, making her fall mid-attack and transform back into a human.

She was writhing in agony on the floor, literally clinging to life with teeth and nails, and Alucard started to approach her. He admitted to a good fight, and did his whole speech thing after he beats an opponent he likes, but his bravado was interrupted when she grabbed onto his leg to hoist herself up. He was surprised into silence for a moment, seeing the fire in her eyes, not only that but seeing her alive, because she's not going to get killed by this asshole, not now, not ever, and God help her if she allows him to harm her like this-

Alucard caught her when she lost consciousness, seeing her still not die despite the gaping hole where her heart should be. He pauses, and decides this is just too interesting an opportunity to pass up.

1995-1999 - pre-canon:

Laura woke up three days after in one of the guest bedrooms in the mansion, cleaned, tended and dressed in one of Alucard's shirts. Speaking of, he was sitting in the room waiting for her to wake up, like he did with Seras.

Laura was confused out of her mind, and thought she actually died because no fucking way. A brief verbal scuffle ensued (mostly on Laura's end), before he left the room to report to Integra, and also to tell her he drank Laura's blood to access her memories, just to make sure she wasn't affiliated with Millenium or anything related, considering the last time he saw a werewolf was the Captain, and instead found a goldmine of information on werewolves and the mystery of the beast of Gévaudan, and considered it would be a great new addition to Hellsing's arsenal. He had left Laura in the room alone, assuming she was too weak to do anything.

She wasn't, apparently, because Walter came in a dozen minutes later to say he had to wire her up after she tried to escape again and almost mauled one of the guards (but ultimately left no injury).

Integra was pissed, so she went to have a little chat. Laura said she'd comply if Walter and Alucard left, leaving them face to face.

Integra explained her situation, who she was and what was going to happen. Basically, Laura had two choices: either she joins and swears her civility in the organization, or Alucard finishes her off after they gather what information they need from her body. Laura was kind of pissed at being put between a rock and a hard place, but Integra also promised, if she were to choose the former and be obedient, to ensure her safety and protection, as well as feeding and clothing her. The added bonus that her bodily autonomy would be respected and that their rival is the Catholic Church is what tipped the scales.

Laura accepted to join, and a few weeks later she was assigned the role of a maid. Integra had to report her existence to her superiors, of course, but decided to keep her a secret from her enemies, so she gave her a seemingly inconspicuous position. It also helped because Laura, due to her trauma in the abbey, has trouble staying inside or being stuck in rooms without doing anything, and it occupies her because she's already pretty good at cooking and cleaning from helping her father out at his inn some two centuries ago. Integra had given her a small silver cross to wear, an artifact made by Van Helsing from melted medallions of St. Patrick, that acted as a much weaker version of Alucard's seals.

This was the start of her life at Hellsing, that she actually grew to somewhat appreciate because of not having to worry for survival every day. She started out as cold and hostile, but eventually allowed Integra and Walter to come a bit closer to her. She sees Walter as a pretty alright man since he knows not to push her and is very respectful, and she grew more and more intrigued by Integra as a person, which resulted in (quite unhealthy) romantic feelings towards her for the simple reason that Integra treats her as a living thing. The cross also became more of a decoration than anything over time.

She mostly takes care of the mansion, but sometimes can go out and decimate some ghouls for enrichment. Anyone that tries to break in and manages to get past the guards also finds themselves face to face with her.

By now she is only loyal to Integra (not even the organization, only because Integra is there) and obeys her because of her own willingness and feelings, and Walter is maybe her favorite coworker. She sees Alucard as a bothersome fellow fucked up creature, and still hasn't forgiven him for drinking her blood without her consent but overall tolerates him most of the time. Seras is a new addition; Laura sees her as a very naive and inexperienced girl, and maybe underestimates and infantilizes her a bit, but overall doesn't mind her presence. She despises the Iscariot with no exception, and Millenium by default.

That brings her to the current timeline, let's hope nothing bad happens.

[ur-ghostgirl]

i just think itd b cool to wake up to someone shushing me n telling me to go back to sleep while they fuck me ://

[foldingfittedsheets]

You helped me realize that my bed was part of the reason my partner and I have been so sore lately. We are going to get a new mattress soon, and I really appreciate all the tips on what to look out for when buying a new one. Thank you for your public service and all the good you do in the world.

Literally everything I could wish for what I spread into the world is people thinking critically about whether their bed is still serving them well.