#just more one and one bonding would be nice ig. like maybe a shot of them playing cards as an episode starts or smth

[cartoonybus]

i hope in the revival we get a couple of sibling moments between candace and ferb

[whimsybats]

Red vs Blue x Shy!Fem!Reader

╰┈➤ So there's basically like no content lately for my funky lil space marines.... I'd like to change that.

I'll still be writing my Batfam stuff too but I do want to add a bit to the RvB x Reader side of Tumblr.

I'm also not sure how often I'll post for RvB content (or any in general but I really want to get into imagines/headcanon writing yk?)

But here's my first shot at a RvB x Reader ig? In headcanon format.

Here's how I'd like to imagine a more soft/shy!reader in the canyon, I'm writing as a fem!reader because it's what I'm more comfortable with. [also I'm a sucker for more soft/shy inserts, sue me LOL]

-Reader is seen as a baker, gamer (you can choose table top games or video games), etc to have a bit of variety in interactions. I'd imagine you can fight to a degree like everyone else but social interactions aren't your strong suit.

✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧

So, you ended up in the shitty canyon of Blood Gulch. In training you weren't known for any outstanding leadership or other skills when it comes to fighting so you were sent here.

To top it all off you're the only female in the canyon... that is until Tex shows up.

Imagine being on Blue Team, I'd like to think Church tolerates you a bit more than the others for being "less annoying" in his words.

Tucker absolutely loves to tease the shit out of you, he'll absolutely try to "woo" you since you've been the only girl he's seen since he's got here.

I think after a while he'd probably stop "wooing" you knowing you showed no interest, but would still tease you.

When Caboose comes around, he would probably follow you around like a lost puppy since you're the only one who is nice to him at the time.

You'd probably have baking days if you had anything good sent in from Command.

•• ━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━ ••

I'd imagine when Tex comes in she enjoys your company a bit more than the others, both being girls... and you're less loud and more tolerable. If she's fixing up Sheila (the tank) she might have you there to help hand over tools and such.

You and Doc might bond being the more quiet ones in the canyon... you might hand him over some baked goods when he would be around, whether they were made by you or one of your teammates (the most likely other one would be Caboose, I'd like to imagine he at least knows how to make a small variety of cookies like chocolate chips, sugar cookies, maybe those peanut butter cookies?) He'd probably try to get O'Malley/Omega to spare you in his plans lol

Oh boy when Donut joins the reds, be prepared for you guys have sleepovers with him and Caboose and let's be real he'd probably drag Doc in (especially in the later seasons).

Being one of the more shy people in the canyon, each of the people might try to get you to be included in the chaos one way or another.

When you get to Chorus, you're probably with Tucker, Caboose, Simmons and Grif. If Felix feels flirty, you probably get dragged off the most by Tucker or Caboose since they notice your cues the most, maybe Grif if he happens to be around (he'd just invite you to raid the mess hall which you'd only accept to get away from the flirting). Caboose might try to take up most of your time as possible unless you're split off for missions.

Wash and Carolina try their best to train you, without scaring you off. Initially you were scared of them when they first showed up, you pretty much have scary guard dog privileges now.

Sarge might try to do a typical over-the-top plan with the reds to support you in some situations if you happen to team up with them against a mutual enemy like the Meta. (might be more post-Wyoming/Prophecy "arc" maybe like s6/Reconstruction)

Although when you're enemies you definitely feel like you could shrink into your armor when you hear his loud booming voice, but since you're there to fight you still stay and fight, you just won't be as involved as Tucker and Church when negotiating, sometimes you pull them away if you have an idea and have one of them shout it for you

You, Grif and Simmons might have chill movie/game nights when you can. (if those are even possible??) You might try to sneak in to the red base but Sarge might let you pass anyways since you keep Donut out of his hair often.

maybe pt 2 later? lmk what you think! (idk how to write for shy!reader well but hopefully i'll improve soon..)

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge✨

SEASON 6

I love how the twins were basically the reason Hiccup figured out that Johan was the spy

NOOO THE WAY GOTHI WENT TO TRY AND STOP STOICK FROM THROWING AWAY HER MEDICINE AND THEN GOT THROWN OFF THE CLIFF WAS SO FUNNY [ep2]

Omg that fight between Hiccup and Stoick in ep2 was crazy whenever Stoick said "I'm talking to the expert in getting duped by Trader Johan" and THEN HICCUP WAS LIKE "but I was only duped for half as long as you were. So what does that make you?"

Awww the way both Toothless and Skull-crusher were trying to get them to talk

And also Astrid being the only one that wasn't caught by the Hunters right away, she's just superior bro

I love how both of them were right - Stoick was right to not trust the merchants and Hiccup was right about Johan's plan

Toothless is actually so strong like he's not only agile and clever, I mean he just flew up to the ballista and crashed against it and destroyed it without using his Plasma Blast 😎🤩

Mala and Dagur fighting over where the Dragon Eye lenses are gonna be hidden is hilarious. Mala is so calm I love it

I got chills when Atali was like "no, Hiccup, this is my island I will defend it"

I really want to know the origin of the Wingmaidens, like where did all these women come from? How come they're still there?

I love Minden and Snotlout's relationship, the way he tried to convince her to not give up AND SHE KISSED HIM!!!

Krogan's Singetail actually cares about him

Never gonna get over Adelaide Kane voicing Mala

Also Snotlout running when the dude had the razorwhip on him LIKE HE WAS LITERALLY FLYING AND HE WAS STILL RUNNING Y'ALL HAVE TO WATCH THAT SCENE I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE IT ITS IN EP3

Generations ago Fishlegs's ancestors were dragon hunters

The Loyal Order of Ingerman - decimated the Dramillion dragons, pushing them to the brink of extinction

Grump is amazing I love him

Dramillions - have both a lava blast and a magnesium blast. Omnivores. Still being hunted.

The Hunters were founded by Ingar Ingerman

The Dramillion trying to take the manacle off his tail🥺

And when Fishlegs threw his helmet and THEN THE HAND THING 😭🥺

I love the Dramillions they're so smart they learned how to get rid of the manacles by just looking at what Meatlug and Stormfly were doing 🥺

I just realized that the twins are 19 AND I FIND THAT ABSOLUTELY CRAZY HOW CAN THEY BE THAT OLD

I really wish we knew each of their birthdays like I wanna know which one's older and which one's younger

I feel like for some reason the twins would be the oldest ones then Fishlegs then Astrid then Snotlout and lastly Hiccup. Idk I'm still iffy on this

Most Thorstons don't make it to 19

I love the twins' relationship, they love each other so much that they would rather be alone and not form part of a clan than leave each other alone and the fact that other people know this too? Plsss like the only reason Gruffnut got them back into the fake induction trials was by telling them how bad it'd be for each other to not be part of a clan.

Titanwing Zippleback HOW DO THEY KNOW ITS A TITANWING IT LOOKS THE SAME AS THE OTHER ZIPPLEBACKS

"Ughh, what's the point of winning alone? Being a Thorston means nothing without him. We are one Thorston."

I love them and also technically Ruffnut won the induction trials.

THE LAST LENSE GOSH

Love how Fishlegs cares about global warming

I'm all Snotlout, Toothless and the Triple Stryke reacting to Mala and Dagur- I'm also Mala whenever someone tickles me I'LL KILL U

UGHHH I HATE HOW SNOTLOUT MADE HICCSTRID UNCOMFY FOR HAVING A DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP

Astrid overthinking 🥺😭

"How would you like your yak cooked?" JSHDHHA

bro I love how both Tuff and Toothless noticed the betrothal necklace

"So want to deliver some scrap metal?" Hiccup baby? Why are you so oblivious?

At least he asked her if she was alright in the armorwing's island 😩

No but if I was Astrid I'd be pissed too, the dude saw a dragon eye lens from far way and didn't notice her betrothal necklace? 🙂😤

No I can't that scene was too harsh to watch, I mean I loved to see Hiccup noticing something was wrong with Astrid but then the way Astrid compared their relationship to Mala and Dagur's and then threw him the betrothal necklace... And the way he caught it too I can't- 😭😞😖😭😓🤧

Seeing the twins trying to capture Mala was hilarious JAHDHDHHSHA

I love how when they're fighting Astrid's still there for him whenever he's expected to have all the answers. She ignored her anger and went over to him and grabbed his hand and that single thing was what gave him confidence in a moment of panic 🥺

"I'm with you"

"I know"

That final Hiccstrid scene in Mi Amore Wing was just too perfect, we have Hiccup grabbing Astrid's hand to bring her outside and talk to her, the sunset in the background, every little thing Hiccup told her about being there for her and loving her with everything he had and that he should've noticed the necklace right away AND THEN THAT KISS WAS JUST AMAZING❗️❗️❗️ it was passionate and sweet and Astrid was blushing and then Fishlegs was all uncomfortable and Mala was like "okaaayyyyy😏" and Dagur like "alrighhtttt👌🏼" ig the only thing I didn't like is that Astrid didn't say I love you back 😭 but it's ok cause yk she does I just wished she had said it.

Baby razorwhips love the water

Tuffnut named the baby razorwhip that bonded with Ruffnut, Wingnutt

Top scenes of Ruff Transition ep7

Tuffnut throwing up in Ruffnut's mouth and Ruffnut throwing up in Wingnutt's mouth just do that he could be fed- seeing the windmaiden's reactions is the best lmao

Hiccup trying to teach Ruffnut how to fly (with his dragon flight suit) and then Ruffnut losing balance but Hiccup helping her regain it BUT we still get overprotective Tuffnut jumping off of Toothless to try and help but all he did was make things worse HIS SCREAM WAS HILARIOUS nonono and the way Toothless tried to help BUT AGAIN MADE THINGS WORSE 😩😮‍💨😂

Ruffnut finally figuring out how to connect with Wingnutt and fighting the dragon hunters and saving Atali was so badass and then Atali riding Barf 😭🤩

Hiccstrid kiss count (approximately) : 6😘

The way he slightly and carefully touches her face to reassure her that he'll be fine

The Singetail's only predator is the Skrill

The Berserkers used to use metal daggers to lure Skrills into traps. The dragon is drawn to it due to its electrical properties

VIGGO JUST DID THE HAND THING THING WITH THE SKRILL WTF

If I could have any dragon it'd be in this order

Skrill - it's so badass and powerful

Nightfury - it's badass, powerful, pretty, strong and fast

Deadly Nadder - it's extremely fast and agile, has multiple attacks and the spikes

Dramillion - has multiple attacks and is very smart

Just realized that ep8 is called Triple Cross because 1st Johan crossed Viggo 2nd Viggo fake crossed Hiccup and 3rd Viggo and Hiccup crossed Johan and Kogan

That episode was basically jusr to show Viggo's arc and the way he changed for the better and learned to respect dragons

That's why the Singetails wouldn't leave in ep9 whenever they were trying tp free the Deathsong- their eggs! They're in that island.

I can't with Hiccup and Astrid sitting together just chilling but with Astrid feeling guilty and Hiccup assuring her that he was also at fault 😭

I love Narrator/Author Snotlout! The titles of the chapters of his book remind me of the ones from Pjo

Stoick and Skullcrusher acting as 1 and being worried about each other 🥺 I love their relationship

Also the way Stoick bats off the shots from the Singetails with his axe just like Astrid. They're both truly warriors

No but Toothless asking for a head scratch from Gobber bc he's worried abt both Hiccup and Stoick🥺

The way Toothless tried to make Hiccup feel better- I mean the man blamed himself for putting Stoick in "his deathbed" it was just so awful seeing Hiccup in that state and the way everyone was trying to make him feel better but it was ultimately Astrid who managed to get through to him😭

I love it when they put scenes of the movies

I love how Astrid always knows what to say without lying

Looks like it's you and me, then.

Always... was that corny or-

Probably. Nice, though.

The way Astrid is so natural at being a leader and putting everyone on their places 🤩

That lil moment they had in ep12 where he holds her face and thanks her for everything and I just love them too much 😭

I love how Spitelout is so happy when he's beating ass, this dude literally goes "I'm sure I've had more fun than this. But at the moment, I can't remember when"

Have I mentioned I love the Dramillions before? I love them way too much they're amazing and the sound they make is so 😩 I love it

The Dramillion is a distant cousin of the Changewing which means the Titanwing Dramillion shares the de-cloaking ability with its subspecies.

Stormfly's spine clone was literally so badass, my girl was surrounded and she finished every single dragon flyer with it. Badass move. Wish we had seen it more throughout the series

It really pissed me off that Hiccup had to choose between getting Tuff, Ruff and Snotlout out of that sinking ship when he could've been following Krogan. Like ofc it was the right decision but that wouldn't have happened if the twins and Snotlout didn't follow Gruff into the ship :/

I love how strong Barf and Belch are! They literally carried the a Titanwing Dramillion on their own.

That scene when they figured out that the Titanwing Dramillion is not the King of Dragons but instead the last piece of the puzzle to get to the King of Dragons

When the Wingmaidens got to the battle it was amazing

Also the way Dagur was so proud that the King of Dragons was a Berserker and how Ruff was so excited to see Wingnutt and Snotlout to see Minden🥺

THEY REALIZED THAT BBYS AREN'T AFFECTED BY THE KING OF DRAGONS BC OF THE BABY RAZORWHIPS

that last Hiccstrid Scene where Hiccup is worried about Astrid's safety- I mean his face 🥺🥺🥺 and she told him that his dad would be proud and that she's proud too and when she was about to leave he held her back and kissed her 😭😭

Ik I said this before but I simp for Astrid as a leader, she's just so natural at it

Also I love how the King of Dragons has ice powers instead of fire

WAIT SO IS THE EGG THAT HICCUP FINDS IN THE FINALE THAT THEY GIVE TO VALKA IS THAT THE KING OF DRAGONS THAT VALKA CARES FOR IN HTTYD2?!!

Valka being friends with the Wingmaidens sits absoluteky right with me

no but the way Toothless hesitated when Hiccup told him to leave him and get the egg

I love how all the dragons arrived to fight the dragon flyers, it was just so poetical to me, the dragons finally getting to fight the people that hurt them 🤩

I FINISHED IT AND NOW I'M SAD!!! I loved the end tho and I'm glad we got to see Shattermaster at Dagur's wedding, also Astrid's outfit change- we love that. And them leaving the edge is just so sad bro 😭but I love how we got to see some "insight" ig u could call it on HTTYD2 😭 also seeing Snotlout and Fishlegs's love for Ruffnut start forming was hilarious

[sasarahsunshine]

hey congrats! do you think you could do 📝( the blurb) for moreid where it’s their first kiss and spence says prompt 40 (“are you implying that you want to kiss me?”) and derek ig after the kiss says prompt 8 (“god, your lips are so soft”)? does that make sense? i apologies if it doesn’t! thanks!!

Hehe, yes anon, it makes sense! Also thank you so much for the prompt, this one is so cute and fun omg <333

Pairing: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid

Warnings: Mention of a case but like, no details. Just fluff! And kisses hehe.

Also on AO3.

The first time Derek Morgan noticed there might be a little more than friendship between himself and Spencer Reid was after a hard case.

He always knew he loved Reid; the kid was special to him. He was overly protective of the lanky young man who was always stumbling headfirst into trouble— as much as that terrified the entire team. Reid had a knack for bumping into things, tripping over his own two feet, and taking off his freaking Kevlar vest when Morgan told him to keep the damn thing on!

It wasn’t uncommon for Morgan to notice bruises and bandaids on Reid’s hands and arms. He was, again, always knocking into things. Whether his own desk, a doorframe, or one time he walked right into the drivers side door that Hotch just opened. Morgan tried not to laugh as the kid groaned and rubbed the bump forming on his forehead. Penelope once compared him to a newborn foal. “All legs and no balance.”

But the day Morgan realized there might be some attraction in the mix of emotions he had for Reid, he was watching the kid sleep on the jet. The victim didn’t make it, which happens sometimes. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but Reid was taking it harder than everyone else. He always did.

Morgan’s music had stopped playing a while ago, but he didn’t seem to notice, his eyes too busy studying the way Reid’s chest rose and fell with even breaths. How his eyelashes rested upon his rosy cheeks, fluttering every once in a while as he dreamed. How his lips were a naturally pretty shade of pink.

He blinked, adjusting in his seat. When had his feelings shifted for Reid? It couldn’t have happened suddenly, but that’s what it felt like. It was like cold water was thrown onto his heated body, shocking his system with the realization that he didn’t just love the younger man— he was in love with him.

A few months had passed and Morgan tried so freaking hard to pretend everything was normal, was the same. Because he would never dare ruin the special bond he had with Reid over something as trivial as wanting to kiss him— well okay, he wanted to do so much more than kiss him— but still.

The team had decided to go out to O’keefe’s after a long week of paperwork. It was nice to go out without a real reason every once in a while. Emily was the one who convinced Reid to come out, and for that Morgan was thankful.

Because now Reid was two drinks in, his cheeks and nose flushed rosy red from the buzz in his alcohol, his eyes shimmering as he laughed at the joke Penelope just told. God he was gorgeous. The prettiest damn boy Morgan had ever laid his eyes on.

He couldn’t stop staring at Reid’s lips throughout the night. The genius had a habit of biting his bottom lip when he was thinking, or trying to hold back a quip or the need to infodump. Said bottom lip was now a little swollen and pink from the biting he had been doing and God was it doing something to Morgan. He was finding it harder and harder to focus on the conversations happening around him. All he could think about was how sweet his Pretty Boy’s lips must taste.

“Morgan?”

He blinked, glancing at Emily who was just smirking at him from over her glass. “You seem to be somewhere else tonight, big guy. What’s on your mind?”

He felt the pleasant warmth of his own buzz tingling throughout his bloodstream. It wasn’t enough to make him spill his innermost thoughts, however. He shot her a smirk in return as he held his own drink to his lips, “I couldn’t help but notice how late it’s getting. Might have to get myself on that dance floor before it’s closing time.”

Penelope squealed and shot out of her seat, reaching for his hand, “Come on my brown sugar daddy! I’ve been waiting all night for you to ask me to dance!”

He chuckled and finished his drink before taking her perfectly manicured hand, “As you wish, mama.” As much as he’d rather be holding Reid’s hand, he knew he owed Penelope at least one (or five) dances.

As the night got longer, hotter, and a bit more sweaty than Morgan had expected, he collapsed back in his chair with a laugh. His mouth tasted like sweet rum, and his brain was swimming in warmth and tingles. At some point Penelope had disappeared but he wasn’t sure where to. He was panting a little from the intensity that she forced him to dance.

Reid was eyeing him, a small smile on his lips. “Are you having fun?”

Morgan turned his attention to him, his eyes flickering over Reid’s face before meeting his gaze. Reid had to have another drink while he was dancing, for his face was more flushed than before. And he looked relaxed; something that Dr. Spencer Reid often didn’t have the time to be.

“I am,” Morgan agreed as he leaned towards his colleague, his best friend, his soulmate. His heart was pounding in his ears, his stomach doing small flips as he moved his chair into Reid’s personal space. He heard Reid inhale sharply, the young man’s eyebrows knitting together curiously. Morgan continued, his eyes once again flitting to Reid’s lips for a split second, “I think i might want to order another drink. How about you?”

Reid cleared his throat, his fingers drumming on his empty glass. “Maybe.”

“What did you have?”

“Something fruity. You probably wouldn’t have liked it,” Reid joked, laughing to himself, “It’s not a manly drink, by any means.”

“I don’t know,” Morgan eased himself a little closer, a lazy smile gracing his lips, “You should let me have a taste and then I’ll decide for myself.”

Reid blinked in surprise. If it were possible, his face seemed to grow redder, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. Morgan knew that Reid wasn’t very good at picking up certain social cues, but he hoped that maybe he’d understand the hint. And if he didn’t? Then Morgan could pretend this never happened and they’d go back to being friends. No harm no foul.

“Are you implying that you want to kiss me?” Reid asked after a beat, his large brown eyes looking almost.. hopeful? Morgan swallowed thickly, his stomach filling with butterflies. God, he felt like a love struck teenager.

“I am, pretty boy,” he breathed, tasting the alcohol from earlier on his tongue, “if that’s something you want?”

It was Morgan’s turn to be surprised, as his Pretty Boy, his lanky little newborn foal who was always clumsy and getting hurt, had enough grace and strength to grab him by the collar and pull the two of the closer, their lips meeting in a hesitant kiss. It took a beat longer than he meant it to before Morgan’s brain caught up with his body, his hands shooting to the sides of Reid’s face and holding him there, tasting strawberries and peaches on his lips.

God, he was just as sweet as he imagined. Moreso. Perfect. Delicate. Morgan’s heart was racing a million miles a minute as his thoughts grew quiet, the only thing in the world right being him and his pretty boy.

From somewhere outside of their bubble he heard Emily say, “Finally,” but he ignored her. He felt Reid go to pull back, but his hands held him still, deepening the kiss.

It wasn’t exactly fireworks and fairy dust, because it was better. It was warmth and love and meaningful. Reid’s hands on his shoulders, his lips parting just enough that he could taste alcohol and fruit and sugar and everything that made Spencer Reid sweet.

Morgan finally pulled away, breathing heavily, swallowing. Reid’s pupils were blown, his lips more swollen now than he had ever seen them. He couldn’t help but chuckle, his thumbs tracing over the sharp cheekbones of his pretty boy. Reid just stared at him, panting.

Finally, Morgan spoke, “God, your lips are so soft.”

Reid’s lips quirked into a smile, his hands reaching up to cover Morgan’s, “I’ve been waiting for you to do that for months now”

“Months?”

Reid nodded, exhaling as his smile grew, “Yeah, ever since I noticed you staring at me more.”

“I was that obvious, huh?”

“Totally obvious,” Reid laughed softly. Morgan leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, “Alright then,” another kiss, “I guess,” another kiss, “I have some time,” another one, this one tugging on Reid’s lower lips teasingly, “to make up for.”

[oloreaa]

Vencuyanir - Prologue

vencuyanir [ven-COO-yah-neer]: sustain, keep alive, preserve

Summary: About to be taken away from Arvala-7, Elana only has two objectives: keeping Bean alive and getting away from the Mandalorian

Words: 2.8k

Notes: This is the first longer series I have attempted in years, and I am so excited for this! Also the entire story is the most self indulgent enemies-to-lovers slow-burn I’ve ever planned and written so hopefully you’ll like it as well! Elana is an OC with Chinese features (+ my personal face claim), but I won’t be physically describing her a lot, so hopefully you could still see this as kinda “reader”

Warnings: canon-typical violence (death, gun violence), (implied) past child abuse, hostages/(implied) slavery

▪ Masterlist ▪ Vencuyanir ▪�� Next ▪

……………

"Bean?" Elana called out, looking for the little child. He was currently hidden from her, in some place she could not find. Yet.

The hide-and-seek session she had initiated to stave off the boredom had turned into a nightmare. Elana had no idea where Bean would be, and she did not wanted to go and ask the Niktos outside. They were already barely tolerating her.

After Alderaan was destroyed a few years back she had drifted around the galaxy, and by chance, was approached by a friendly looking woman who told her that there was a well-paying, low maintenance job on a Outer Rim planet called Arvala-7 waiting for her. She took it without hesitation, and not a thought was spared about how such an opportunity was too good to be true.

Well, it definitely was not well-paying.

She barely got any of the money she was promised, which was why she was stuck on Arvala-7, guarded by Niktos that fended off the bounty hunters that appeared every few days.

The reason for her job? A baby. Elana was hired to take care of a small baby, which was not what she had pictured, at all.

But after taking just one look at the small green child with the huge dark eyes and even larger ears, she fell in love. It could be a maternal instinct, or maybe it was her own soft heart that made her fiercely protective of him. There was an instant connection the moment she entered the room he was in, the baby reaching out towards her as soon as he set his eyes on her, babbling incessantly. For lack of better words, there was a bond of sorts between them. Elana could feel, even pinpoint sometimes what the little bean was sensing, and knew that he was the same with her.

A soft coo finally alerted Elana to Bean's position, him giving himself away since he grew bored. She hurried to him, and scooped him up, heart beating fast in her chest.

"There you are, honey," she sighed in relief, tracing his large petal ears with a gentle finger. He cooed at her and patted at her face with his three fingers, claws not yet sharp enough to break skin. He grabbed at the end of her braid and put it in his mouth. Elana carefully took it out again, and quickly snatched a wooden toy he could gnaw on. The child wrapped his claws around it quietly, and started nibbling, big trusting eyes blinking up at her.

Elana tried not to think about it too much because it broke her heart, but all the signs were there. Bean was too quiet. He did not make many noises. And if he did, only when it was absolutely necessary.

He did not ask for food or water. He ate quickly and left no crumbs anywhere. He did not flinch when a blaster shot rang through the air, but did when someone moved too fast near him. She really wished that her suspicions were wrong, but Bean exhibited behaviour that was proof of him being mistreated before she had come along.

Bean cooed softly, nuzzling her arms, and smiled at her. The sight was adorable.

"Let's get you something to eat, all right?" Elana said, bouncing him on her hip, and set off towards the kitchen.

The Niktos have provided them with food and shelter, as well as weapons for defense, like blasters and some knives. Elana did not really know how to use them, beyond how to pull a trigger and stab someone with the pointy end. And that was it. It was not as if any of the Niktos bothered to teach her. She knew maybe a quarter of them by name, the rest by sight, but it was purely a business-like relationship.

Without Bean, she would have been utterly alone on Arvala-7. To be fair, she would not even be there if it was not for Bean, but she would not have it any other way. The little area they were given to live in consisted of a small kitchen, a bath, and a bedroom where the pram for Bean was located. It was not much, but enough.

Enough to survive.

She had no reason to complain, Elana often reasoned with herself, she had a roof over her head, cooling systems for the scorching days and heaters for the cold nights. She was given enough food and clothes to sustain herself and the little one she cared for. Even if Elana had no idea why she was actually there. She knew not the names of those who hired her, she did not know the reason why so many people sought to take Bean, why they were not even close to stopping after months of a constant stream of bounty hunters, all trying their luck.

Shaking those thoughts away, she returned to her original task of going to the kitchen.

The ration packets were stored in a drawer, and she noticed with a frown that the amount was steadily dwindling. It would still be enough for over a week, but it was definitely something that the Niktos should know about. They would get some more on their next supply run off the planet. Grabbing a small packet of rehydratable meat, and adding some water to a small pot, Elana prepared a simple meal for Bean. Then she heated water in another pot and made herself a cup of tea.

Bean sat upright in his stool, and watched her with curious, intelligent eyes. He babbled excitedly when she finished stirring, ears wiggling, making Elana smile.

The little child ate slowly as she fed him, blinking up at her and cooing. She cooed right back, and he smiled brightly, little teeth catching the light.

"You like the food? The consistency is nice, huh?"

He babbled, feet kicking slightly.

Suddenly, there was a shot outside. Elana whipped her head around, promptly positioning herself in front of Bean. More shots followed. Bounty hunters again.

She knew the drill already, so she quickly scooped Bean up and placed him in his pram. The baby was silent, staring up at her with big eyes, and a feeling of fear creeped along their bond. That was when she knew that something was wrong, that something was different from the other times. The shooting was still continuing, going on for longer than usual. There were too many shots for it to be only one bounty hunter, there had to be more than before, a small army?

A Nikto, who she recognized as Heku, ran inside the small quarters, two blasters in his hand.

"You stay here," he told her with his accented Basic, a frown on his face. "These are different hunters."

Elana nodded, eyes wide, and went to the pram, not closing it yet, before nudging it towards the wall, so it would be out of the way.

Heku looked over his shoulder before putting a blaster in her hand. "Doesn't look good," he said, "shoot them if they get in."

With those words, he ran outside again, leaving Elana reeling. If they get in? That had never happened before, not even close. Normally, all two dozen of the Niktos were enough to dispatch any bounty hunters.

The front door, made of sturdy durasteel closed with a screech while the sound of blaster fire rang through the air, the shots now muffled through it. Elana fumbled with the weapon in her hand, heart beating a staccato, shoulders squared.

It was becoming louder outside; they seemed to have set up some kind of blaster gun that was shooting in the direction of the housing camp.

Clenching her jaw tightly, she clutched the blaster in her shaking hands. They were right outside. Elana could hear the blaster shots, the screams of the Niktos who were defending Bean and her, the sounds of a brutal fight going on just a few meters away from them. The pram was right behind her, and Bean was silent, watching with wide eyes.

"It's all right, Bean", Elana heard herself say, doing her best not to panic. "I'll protect you."

Her heart was thumping hard in her chest and she feared that she would become dizzy. The nauseating feeling of helplessness creeped up Elana's throat and she honestly did not know what to do.

Fight them? Laughable. Elana was barely able to shoot straight. Negotiate with them? Probably not even that. Most of the time the hunters were gunned down quickly, and it would have been the only thing worth mentioning on that particular day. But this? They were mowing down the Niktos like it was nothing, and the chance of the Niktos getting them was dwindling with every shot.

Bean and her had to stay together no matter what. Hopefully, they were bounty hunters who would take them alive and she could go with Bean as his caretaker. As long as the both of them were together, they stood a chance.

It was going to be fine. It would be fine.

"No matter what, I'll stay with you," she told Bean, looking at him with desperation. Pulling the tiny child near her, Elana kissed his forehead, eyes scrunched together, trying to keep the tears from escaping.

Bean did not make a sound, but she swore he could understand what was happening.

The shots stopped.

She closed the pram, hands shaking.

One Nikto ran in, blaster in hand. He nodded at her before positioning himself behind one of the pillars. Elana held her breath, heart in her chest. They shot at the door. They actually used blaster bolts to get through the door. When it collapsed inwards, she was surprised that there were only two bounty hunters. An IG-unit bounty droid and- was that a Mandalorian?

Elana froze. Oh no.

If it was a Mandalorian, then her chances of getting out alive were very small indeed.

The Nikto tried to shoot at him but with lightning fast speed and uncanny precision the Mandalorian made short work of him with a single shot.

"Anyone else?" came the wry rhetorical question, crackled through a modulator.

She pulled the trigger.

It actually hit him, glanced off his pauldron with a ping. Elana had no time to celebrate her little victory however, as blaster bolts suddenly rained down on her, and she lunged behind the pillar, seeking shelter, shoulders hunched up. The dust and smoke made it hard to see, but she could make out a blaster bolt was uncomfortably near Bean's pram, and panic welled up in her. "Cease fire! I surrender!" she shouted, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing herself into the pillar some more.

"Cease fire, please!"

They stopped shooting.

Elana closed her eyes, fighting off her tears. This is it. "Don't shoot, I'm coming with you," she said as soon as she swallowed the lump in her throat, "I'm the one you're looking for." Stepping out from behind her pillar, palms raised in surrender, heart beating fast, she blinked up at the two bounty hunters, subtly shielding Bean's pram in the process.

The Mandalorian's tracking fob was pointed at her, through her. Maybe, hopefully she could play it as if she was the bounty. Maybe they could leave Bean in peace. There must have been someone who had survived, right? They could take care of Bean. She would gladly suffer for more than a hundred lifetimes if it meant that Bean would be safe.

Breathing hard, trembling like a leaf, she tried to suppress her tears, scared to death. "Please, don't kill me, I'll go with you," she got out, voice shaky. Please let them think that I am the bounty.

The droid's head whirled around to Elana and she could not help her flinch. The Mandalorian stood rigidly, his helmet tilted down at her menacingly. He stepped closer, the fob trained on her, beeping rapidly.

"Identify yourself. You are not the bounty," the droid commanded.

She gulped, feeling ice cold. "Elana Lissiri," she choked out, throat not properly working. So there went the chance of properly protecting Bean.

"Step aside," the Mandalorian told her, voice low and raspy. She shook her head, vision blurring, trying to stay in the way of them, but the Mandalorian grabbed her wrist efficiently, and turned her around, twisting her arm against her back. Elana grimaced in pain, and struggled against him briefly.

"Step aside or I'll make you," he threatened, and she felt a blaster poking between her shoulder blades.

For a split second, Elana thought about doing something reckless like stomping on his feet or freeing herself somehow, but then let herself go limp. She would not do Bean any favors if she got herself shot, and he was too strong to overpower anyways. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, internally begging for forgiveness.

The tracking fob in the Mandalorian's hand was loud in her ears, every beep made dread curl in her belly and her chest seize up. He shoved her aside roughly when it was clear that she had been shielding the pram. The IG-unit behind him raised its blasters and stalked towards Bean's hiding place. The Mandalorian cuffed her against a pipe sticking out of the wall, securing one wrist so she would not escape.

"Don't hurt him, please, Maker, please don't," Elana begged, sinking to her knees. Trying her best to shield how terrified she was from their bond, she sent out as much warmth as she could to the little child. Both bounty hunters moved closer to Bean, the Mandalorian pressing the button in the centre of the pram.

It opened with a hiss, and she could see how Bean sat up, ears raised and head tilted in interest.

"He is just a baby," Elana whispered, willing the tears to stay at bay, "Just a baby, please don't kill him." Elana couldn't tear her eyes away from the tiny green child, certain that that was it. They would kill them both. She took in the soft petal ears, the big dark eyes, the tiny, adorable button nose for what was probably the last time, and tried not to cry. She loved the little one. She loved him so much.

"Wait. They said fifty years old", she barely registered the Mandalorian speaking, his voice rough like gravel.

"Species age differently", the IG-unit replied. "Perhaps it could live many centuries."

"Please." Breath ragged, she looked up at the bounty hunters. "Please, I'll do anything, but don't kill him."

Bean leaned forward, big eyes curious, pushing down his blanket to get a better view of the newcomers. A questioning feeling ran along their bond. Elana's heart nearly broke in two.

"Sadly, we'll never know." The IG unit raised its blaster, and she tried to get in front of the pram without success, straining against the cuff. The Mandalorian stopped the droid before the blaster was fired, though. It was a cruel, cruel thing, giving her a moment of hope that the child would survive. Breath ragged, she tried to stop the panicked noises rising in her throat.

"No. We'll bring it in alive."

"The commission was quite specific," the IG-unit said, "The asset was to be terminated."

Elana closed her eyes, shaking like a leaf now. Not Bean, she thought, despair rolling off her in waves, please, not my Bean. She tried to get to the pram again, rattling at the cuff with all her strength, not caring when it hurt and cut into her skin.

A shot rang out.

She gave a full body flinch, hunching into herself. But the bond was not broken. Nor did she feel any pain or fear.

The bond was not broken.

They didn't kill Bean.

Elana looked up, eyes wide, head full of questions.

The IG-unit fell to the ground with a thud. Smoke rose from the central processing unit. She stared at it before shifting her gaze to the other bounty hunter.

The Mandalorian seemed to be transfixed by Bean. He reached out a finger hesitantly, and after a second, Bean reached back, letting out a delighted coo.

Elana blinked in confusion. Bean likes him? Something about their interaction struck her deeply, and the bond between Bean and her suddenly swelled, as if something clicked into place.

The Mandalorian's helmet then snapped around to her, and she flinched again. "Are you its caretaker?" he asked gruffly. Elana barely managed to nod, scared out of her wits.

He was quiet for a long time, his presence alone enough to make her hold her breath. Then he walked over, and took off her cuff more gently than she would have expected from a bounty hunter.

She looked up at him, shaking in fear, the visor glaring down menacingly. A low command came from him, causing shivers to run down her back.

"Pack your things."

……………

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it!

Also a HUGE thank you at my beta @mndalorians, Cass had listened to me ramble so much about this story and helped me with so many scenes and I love her. Pls check out her stories as well, she has beautiful fics!

Tags: @binggrae-banana-milk @b0n-chann @pisss-offf-ghostt @chibi-liz05 @din-damn-djarin @soldade @yourexcellentboiiii @chaotic-noceur @ezrasarm @hdlynn @mndalorians @over300books @agirllovespasta

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian s2 ep1 Reactions Post That’s right I’m BACK

and none of you not even god himself can stop me from rambling about space cowboy dad and tiny green baby stuff for much longer than any sane person should 

the TL;DR is that I still love this show SO MUCH, beware a bunch of spoilers under the cut!

- costume design wise I LOVE how badly the armour fits Cobb Vanth

 especially when you get shots with him and Din side by side for contrast:

It’s not just that it’s clearly not made for him (it seems he’s a lot lankier and more wiry than Boba is), he simply doesn’t know how to wear it, and he doesn’t know how to take care of it, because he doesn’t know what it means. Remember when Din’s breastplate got bent completely out of shape by the mudhorn and he had it repaired to the best of his ability long before they even finished with the ship? That’s why he looks so grounded and natural in it and Vanth has sort of a clumsy Spiderman-in-his-first-home-made-costume air about him. (also Boba’s helmet has a beautiful heft and solidity to it in this, they make all the beskar have a Feel and weight to it, makes it feel important)  

I like that Vanth is taller than Din; everything that drives home that Din’s strength doesn’t come from being naturally physically imposing or impressive is a joy to me 

- Boba’s armour seems to be confirmed to be real beskar, which gives me so much hope that they’re doing something actually nuanced and interesting with Boba and Jango’s cultural identities as Mandalorians (whether they do consider themselves that or not, for example), unlike George Lucas’ inexplicable yet unbending stance of ‘They aren’t and never were lol get fucked Fetts’  

the way the triumphant heroic part of the mando music sputtered and died when the man himself showed up tho... uh-oh this might be bad news 

man but that’s a stunning and surprising way to introduce a well-known character divorced from what makes them so iconic, though, just from that I’m going to trust they know what they’re doing (AND they got temuera morrison back I’m so EXCITED!!!). without the armor there’s the face of someone who shared that face with literal millions and at the same time must be looking older than his father ever got to at this point, and that’s super interesting as a starting point to me. (I... guess there’s still a chance it’s a fakeout and that it’s actually another clone, but that would be such a letdown when they’ve already given us this haha) 

- an excellent [mando sighs] moment

this opening scene did a great job of re-summarizing him for the audience -- establishing again that he gives you one chance at dealing with him fairly and if you insist on continuing to be an asshole about it, you’re toast, the fact that his fighting style is so much about being able to tank blows rather than not getting hit in the first place, the horror movie monster mando setup as he stalked the dude down and strung him up, the Poetic Justice predicated on some very careful word choices, and most importantly “where I go, he goes”... all wonderful, I’m sure I’ll watch this scene back for fine details and better looks at the background characters many many times 

(word seems to have spread about him and the baby for real now, which makes me VERY nervous btw)

- Pulserifle’s back! Jetpack’s back! Razor Crest’s back! Grappling line’s back! PELLI’S BACK!!!!!! Tattooine... is also back *Finn voice* Why does everyone want to go back to Tattooine????

I really enjoyed the way they fleshed out and (for lack of a better word) humanized the sand people, though, if you are going back to this desert hellplanet again that is a worthy reason to do it 

- Din swearing :O!! and one of the less egregious star wars swears too, I’m fine with this

- in campaign star wars news: I guess there was sort of both a binbon and a jubna in this ep! what a time to be alive

- as usual I love the jawa. a bright spot in any day, just a bunch of lil goblin-y friends hanging out having the best time loving sparkly crystals and rescuing silver foxes.  

get in loser we’re going shopping

-  

I uh. Do you think. Hm. Is there maybe a metaphor here somewhere. Is there perhaps a hidden, one may say double, meaning, at play, right here, in this image? Who can say, it’s just niggling at me (there’s a very similar set of shots with Toro in season 1, but seemingly the show went ‘I fear we might have gone too subtle with it, let’s amp it up this time’ over the season break loool)

honestly though this dynamic really highlighted everything I love about the ways Din performs masculinity. It’s so much softer and more community/collaboration focused and more comfortable to be around than Vanth’s version -- and Vanth isn’t a bad dude by any stretch of the imagination, it’s not hard to see why he’s like that considering where he’s from, he’s just such a... man. The lone person who can protect this village! The only man who’s got what it takes! It’s all on his shoulders and no one else’s, so do exactly as he says or he’ll put a hole in you! (I think it’s telling that one of his first comments to Din is ‘I’m sure you call the shots wherever you’re from, but ‘round here, I’m the person who tell folks what to do’, because as we as the audience knows, Din very much does not call the shots of where he’s from lol) I guess it says some nice things about the tribe of Mandos Din is from that this is how he approaches things, and it says some good things about Vanth how quickly he comes around to this smarter and less confrontational/domineering style of doing things once he’s been exposed to it and sees how it works. it’s just neat

(it’s smart of Favreau to set his ~*lone gunslinger*~ character up like this, too, it makes him so much more interesting and versatile)   

- With the way Din says ‘a Mandalorian Armorer sent me on my path’ it does seem confirmed that’s the equivalent of a priest role or a sort of shaman -- I wonder if he knows the name of ‘The’ Armorer or if they take on the role as a whole identity 

- the sheer contrast between the two people who wanted Din to take his helmet off for them in this ep tho... wants Mando’s armour off for horrible awful reasons and got exactly what he deserved:

wants Mando’s armour off for entirely sympathetic and understandable, just culturally uninformed, thirsty thirsty reasons & also having drinks together:

 (the sort of... little lick over his bottom lip he does there? keep it in your pants vanth my GODjflsadf he’s a good dude tho he understands and respects the ‘no armour removal before marriage’ thing and backs down gracefully)

- This is a nuanced thing: I don’t think I actually ship it (not in a requited way from Din’s side, anyway, Vanth I’m 100% sure about lol), but the incredible potential for out-of-context-taking of “Take it off, or I will”/”...we doin’ this in front of the kid?” is uh astounding  

(anyone got the vibe Vanth sort of had something with the bartender too? no just me? well well)

- I was never really scared Din was actually dead or hurt b/c baby wasn’t scared and I figure he’d know lol, a very useful fear barometer 

- “What’s the plan?” “Take care of the child” “What are you gonna do?” “I don’t know, but wish me luck *yeets his new bro out of harm’s way before diving in head first himself*” fksdjhfkjlashdfkjsldahfkasldjhfskldajhfsadkjfh WHAT a summation of Din’s entire approach to battle & life, dad please you carry a not insignificant part of my heart around with you be careful 

(Also with the heavy implication that Boba was watching the whole thing... can you imagine him just looking on as Din throws himself down that gullet like a madman. There must have been some ‘o_-7 *headscratch headscratch* ???’ going on for him there)

it’s kind of sweet that din trusts vanth will take care of the baby if something happens though, they really bonded quickly huh 

- the sand people who kept willingly going over to the krayt dragon’s cave are honestly braver and more admirable than anyone else has ever been, I kept just shouting in anguish as they were gobbled up, they deserved better 

- can we talk about how clear it still is that Din’s just... lonely. When he thinks he’s found another Mando and he sounds almost reverent with relief... and then it gets odder and odder (’uh... drinks? I guess... does he have drinking straws with him or -- HE’S TAKING THE HELMET OFF???’ oh buddy)

I wonder if they’re building towards something about him realizing it doesn’t have to be Mandos for him to trust and bond with people longer term? Basically all the characters he’s met and we’ve watched him form attachments to and get help from are non-Mandos -- Kuiil :’^(, Cara, Omera, Cobb Vanth, IG-11 :^’’(, Greef Karga to a degree. Establishing so firmly what he’s looking for this early would be good setup for a ‘what a character thinks they want vs. what they need’ thing later on just on a writing level, anyway, Boba Fett could bring in some interesting points of view about Mandalorianness too   

- baby’s happy gurgles when he sees pelli!!!!!! din speaking sand people language and petting alligator doggies!!!!!!

- pedro pascal’s voice work remains an utter joy to me. din’s measured, earnest, occasionally slightly stilted way of talking is still so good, and then he does things like inserting some more... idk life is the wrong word but that more charged and dynamic tone he took on when he said (”I thought you weren’t a gambler”) “I’m not”. *chef kiss*

- if the pulse rifle’s stun is able to do that to a fuckn krayt dragon... that’s some serious shit din is carrying around with him lol (interestingly the actual shooty pew-pew part of it didn’t seem to do much to it, but then I guess he was shocking it from the inside out and not through thick hide, so idk)

- my only real complaints about this ep: Vanth’s backstory ran a bit long, and not enough baby & dad interaction. the concept art’s got me tho: 

 (din often wears his original/old armour in concept art still, incidentally, don’t know what that’s about)

awwwwwww

+ omfg ;______;

- this sand people person conscientiously brushing a bantha’s teeth... blessed

- Customary flame thrower report: there was a rare useful deployment of the flamethrower. Good job Mando’s flame thrower for furthering the field of diplomacy

ETA: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS: DIN BEING COMFORTABLE(ISH) AROUND DROIDS NOW!!!! GROWTH????!?! IG-11 WE MISS YOU??????????

[pocketseizure]

Disneybound

Case #0180602. Statement of Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange experience at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on June 2, 2018.

Jonathan takes the statement of someone whose memories may not accurately reflect the events of his childhood. He then has a short conversation with Martin and learns something (perhaps not so) surprising about Elias.

The events of this story take place after Episode 103, "Cruelty Free" (the one in which Jon reads the statement of a farmer in New Zealand with a monster pig).

( This story is also on AO3. )

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jon cast a level gaze at the American sitting on the other side of the table. He was fit and clean-shaven, and he appeared to be in his early thirties. He wore a wide grin and a bright red shirt depicting Minnie Mouse posing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Jon sighed and pressed the record button of his tape recorder.

“Statement of Theodore Nakamura – ”

“Call me Ted, please. Or Teddy, if you like. All my friends do.”

“Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange phenomenon he experienced at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disney World – ”

“Sorry, but it’s ‘Disneyland.’ Disney World is the one in Florida.”

“In Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on May 25, 2018.”

“This is exciting! I love the detail you’ve devoted to authenticity. The tape recorder is a nice touch.”

Jon grimaced. “Statement begins.”

A hint of uncertainty crept into Ted’s smile. “I’ve never done this before. Is there a protocol? Maybe some sort of standard introduction I should start with?”

“Just tell me about the incident you came to report. You can start whenever you’re ready.”

“All right, I’ll start at the beginning.”

Ted clapped his hands on his knees and took a deep breath. Jon watched as his eyes made a brief circuit around the densely packed shelves arranged in disorderly rows at the rear of the room before finally coming to rest on one of the objects jammed between the accordion folders and cardboard boxes. He’d witnessed this process often enough that he could pinpoint the object of the man’s attention – a cloudy snow globe with a tarnished metal base. It wasn’t connected to any of the cases on file in the archives, merely something Gertrude had brought back from one of her travels on a whim.

“I guess you could say that I’m not the sort of person who would be the star of a Disney movie,” Ted began. “I’m not an orphan, and I had a happy childhood. My mother was an architect who moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles during the construction boom of the 1980s, and my father went to business school at UCLA and never left. His family is from Seattle, and they made some money in real estate in the 1990s. We’re comfortably middle class, but I went to one of the big public schools in Orange County.”

He paused, seeming to expect some sort of reaction. When it became clear that no such reaction was forthcoming, he continued.

“Even in LA, where everyone tries to stand out, high school was all about belonging to a group. I didn’t have any interest in the grandstanding of my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and I didn’t have the looks or the talent for the student theater club, which is where a lot of kids like me spent a year or two on their way out of the closet. Mostly I kept my grades up and my head down as my circle of friends from middle school gradually went their separate ways.

“My mom worked from home, and she made sure our house had the first high-speed internet connection in my neighborhood. I don’t mind admitting that I spent a lot of time online. I posted an embarrassing number of bad stories about cartoon characters on LiveJournal, and I eventually ended up being invited to join a popular Disney fan community moderated by a friend of a friend. All the people I spoke with on the comm were strangers, at least at first, but we gradually got to know one another as we responded to each other’s posts and comments.

“Between one thing and another, we somehow managed to figure out that most of us were the same age. Oddly enough, a lot of us lived in SoCal, so we decided to meet up over the summer at Disneyland. Everyone showed up, and we had a great time. We met again the next summer, and then again after my senior year.

“Nothing bad happened, but I stopped updating my LiveJournal after that. I went to college in New York, got a job in the city, and fell out of touch with most of my online friends.

“I moved back to LA four years ago, not that I do anything glamorous. I manage the back end of a tech company’s website and intranet, mostly database stuff, but I still have an IG account. I started it just for fun, but I joined early and picked up more than a thousand followers in less than a year. Someone suggested that it would be cool for me to visit to Disneyland and post photos, so I thought, why not? Like, I love Disneyland!”

Jon cleared his throat. “And what is this ‘strange incident’ you came to report?”

“Hold your horses, I’m getting to it. It’s important that you know my background, right? What I’m trying to say is that I’d only been to Disneyland three times before. It wasn’t a major part of my life. But it was a good part of my life – that’s important.”

Jon nodded in acknowledgment. “Very well, then. Duly noted.”

“Disneyland was considered to be a little seedy when I was in high school, but it’s gotten fancy in the past ten years or so. It used to be that you could just walk in, but these days you practically have to make an itinerary. So I did some research, got a group of people together, and we went and saw the sights. Everyone wore an outfit to match the style of a character, and we took a lot of pictures. The photos were so popular that I hit 5k followers in less than 24 hours, can you believe it? Everyone and their sister is into DisneyBounding these days, but picking up that sort of following from on-location fashion photos was still a thing you could do in 2015.

“Like I said, I had a happy childhood, but no one ever paid me that sort of attention. It was such a dopamine hit, you have no idea. Or maybe you do?”

Jon grit his teeth. “Please continue with the statement.”

Ted laughed. “Pushy, aren’t you? But that’s all right. It’s weird, but I feel like I can tell you anything. Has anyone ever said that to you before?”

“You’re not the first.”

“Maybe it’s the librarian thing you’ve got going on – or archivist thing, sorry. Puts me right at ease. And I appreciate that. If there’s an adult who willingly goes to Disneyland for fun, especially someone like me, people tend to think that’s creepy. The therapist I was seeing at the time called it ‘Peter Pan Syndrome,’ of all things. I never went to another appointment with her again, but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that I kept going back to Disneyland, usually with friends but sometimes with my boyfriend, who I met on Insta. We bonded while sharing theories about the Haunted Mansion, which is… Well, it used to be my favorite ride in the park. It still is, I guess, but I can’t go on it anymore.

“It took me long enough to get here, but this is the part of my story that should interest you. The reason I like the Haunted Mansion is because it reminds me of my mother, who passed away from a heart attack while I was living in New York. It was very sudden, completely out of the blue, and I never got to say good-bye. I never cared about the Haunted Mansion when I was in high school – we all thought it was cringe for some silly teenage reason that probably involved how awkward it would be if we were in the dark with each other. It wasn’t until I visited the park again as an adult that I finally went on the ride. When I did, I had this sudden flashback to a childhood memory.

“I must have gone to Disneyland with my parents when I was young, because standing in the dark and listening to the music made me recall being on the ride with my mother. This was during the lead-up, before you get in the Doom Buggies and begin the ride proper. I remember being absolutely terrified by what I thought was an endless maze. I felt like that line, after it entered the building, lasted forever. Kids can be like that sometimes, but my memory of this is crystal clear – the corridor genuinely didn’t end. I felt like there were people all around us, there had to be, but somehow it was just me and my mother, alone in the darkness.

“And then I remember that this terrible thing appeared out of nowhere. I’m not sure how to describe it. It definitely wasn’t a person in a costume, but it was too realistic to be the projection of a cartoon, and it was talking to us in voice that sounded like laughter and crying at the same time. Like it was hurt, but it found its pain amusing. Meanwhile, the walls kept stretching, and as they got taller I started to see awful things in the gaps between the ceiling and the floor.

“My mother held my hand the whole time. She kept whispering to me: ‘It’s going to be okay. You are brave, and you are strong. Nothing in here can hurt you.’ Just that, over and over, until the ride was over.

“When we finally got out, I ran straight to my dad, who knelt down on the pavement on the other side of the gate and hugged me. He and my mother both patted my back as I cried. I was so relieved to be outside again that my tears wouldn’t stop.

“My dad seemed confused by how afraid I was. This didn’t occur to me until I started thinking about it much later, but isn’t it strange that he didn’t understand why a young child would be frightened by a scary ride?

“I moved back to LA almost immediately after my mom’s funeral, but Dad became a little distant with me. We were both grieving, and it must have seemed callous to him that I was posting shots of myself at Disneyland on social media right after Mom died. Really I just needed a break from the move, from my job, from mourning, from everything – and I guess a part of me felt like my mother would never die as long as I kept returning to that memory of her holding my hand in the Haunted Mansion.

“My dad eventually moved on and married a younger woman. She would probably be my evil stepmother if my life were a Disney movie, but she’s actually a princess, and I adore her. I spend more time with her than I do with my dad these days, but I’m trying to do better. I thought I could reconnect with him if I took him along with me on a visit to the park, but he turned down my invitation. He told me he enjoyed my photos, but that he had never been to Disneyland and had no interest in going. Too many screaming children, he said.

“That was a surprise to me, so I told him about my memory of the Haunted Mansion. While I was talking, his face went completely pale. I don’t mean that as a figure of speech – it was like all the blood had been drained from his skin.

“He insisted that he had never been to Disneyland with me and my mother, but then he told me something strange. When I was about five years old, we went to visit his family in Seattle. My grandfather had just taken on management of a property in Capitol Hill, one of the old Gothic Revival mansions that used to be common there before the neighborhood gentrified. It was an old house, almost as old as the city itself, but my grandfather was having trouble finding potential buyers. The property had been designed by the student of a famous British architect by the name of Robert Smirke, and he wanted my mother to come take a look. Do a walkthrough, point out any potential areas of interest and value, that sort of thing.

“According to my father, my mother had a bad experience in that house. She refused to talk about it with him or anyone else, and she never went back to Seattle. She took me along with her on her tour of the property, and I was apparently just as upset as she was when we came out, even though my dad says we spent less than ten minutes inside. If I thought this place was the Haunted Mansion, and if the ride at Disneyland evoked such a strong memory, it makes me wonder – what did we see in that house?

“I checked with my grandfather, and he said the property never did find a buyer. The only person who seemed seriously interested was a British woman by the name of Gertrude Robinson. Shortly after she made inquiries, the place burned down. Imagine my surprise when I ran a search and learned that this Gertrude Robinson was employed by an institute dedicated to paranormal research.

“So,” Ted concluded, meeting Jon’s eyes, “I gave you my statement. I hope it will be useful to you. I was wondering what you could tell me in return.”

“Not much, I’m afraid. As you can see, we’re still in the process of organizing our records. We’ll investigate to the best of our abilities and contact you if we learn anything.”

“I would love that, thank you. Well, you have my information so…”

“We’ll be in touch. I believe I see my assistant Melanie hovering around. She used to have a large following on social media herself. I’m sure she’d be happy to show you outside.”

“So you’re from LA,” Jon heard Melanie say as she held the door open. Ted directed his dazzling smile at her, which she returned before allowing the door to slam shut behind them.

“Statement ends,” Jon muttered as listened to their conversation growing fainter. He ended the recording and leaned back in his chair.

“Any thoughts you’d like to share, Martin?”

“Oh, I, um,” Martin stammered. “I didn’t want to interrupt the, you know. The statement.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he emerged from between the shelves.

“It’s fine, Martin. It was a relief. To know that you were listening.”

“I’m sorry, I… What? It was?”

“I’ve never been good with people like that.”

“People like… Wait, excuse me?”

“People who are so…” Jon made a vague gesture to illustrate his point. “Sunny. Bright. Content. When someone comes here to make a statement, they’re usually upset.”

“Ah, right. I can see what you mean. But he looks like he just got back from a trip to the happiest place on earth.”

“The happiest place on earth?”

“You know, Disneyland Paris.”

“Disneyland Paris? They finished construction?”

“A few decades ago, actually.”

Jon sympathized with Ted Nakamura’s father. Between the crowds and the relentless sunshine, he couldn’t imagine a more ghastly location, and by this point he considered himself something of an expert on cursed geography.

“I don’t suppose we’ll have to go there ourselves to investigate,” he said, making an attempt to smile. He failed. His muscles were still tense from the process of taking a statement, and his face felt frozen.

“Really? You… want to go to Disneyland Paris? I suppose I could come too, I mean, if it’s not…”

Jon was alarmed by how red Martin’s face was becoming. Did Martin want to go to a theme park? Jon didn’t know much about Disneyland – or Paris, for that matter – but his childhood had been unusual, to say the least. He’d never asked, but Martin’s family couldn’t have been much if he had nowhere to sleep but down here in the archives. Perhaps he could use a vacation. Perhaps they both could.

Jon turned to face his assistant. “Martin, I…”

“Did someone say Disneyland Paris?”

Jon frowned. “Does this conversation interest you, Elias?”

“I heard you were planning a trip. You really must go sometime. It’s fantastic, quite the experience. I went myself, back in 1996.”

Elias made a quick series of taps on the screen of his phone before holding it out in front of him. Jon and Martin leaned forward to get a better look.

In the photo, Elias was posing next to someone wearing a Mickey Mouse costume. He wore an aloha shirt over denim shorts, and he was grinning from ear to ear. The camera had caught him in the act of pulling a tall man with a square jaw and a severe expression into the frame. The image quality was poor, but the man seemed far too pale for the summer sunshine.

Jon’s frown deepened. “And that is…?”

“Oh, this is Peter. You’ll meet him soon enough, I’m sure.”

“Do you, um. Do you go to Disneyland often, then?” Martin asked.

“Just the once. Peter lost a bet, you see.”

“Right.” Jon couldn’t put his finger on it, but he had a bad feeling about this.

“I wouldn’t mind going back. We could all go together, make an office party of it. It would be fun. You do know what fun is, don’t you, Archivist?”

Martin’s eyes darted between Elias and Jon. “I don’t think it’s safe to…”

“Come now,” Elias interrupted. “Would you have any reason not to?”

“China.”

“Excuse me?”

“China. I need to follow up on a statement, something Gertrude was looking into before she traveled to New Zealand.”

“Excellent. I’m glad that’s settled. I’ll leave you to your preparations, then.”

“Damn it.” Jon clenched his fists on the table as Elias left. A trap had been set, and he’d walked right into it.

“Don’t feel bad,” Martin said, oddly perceptive. After everything they’d been through, Jon was coming to appreciate that about him. “At least we know that Elias is still human. He likes Disneyland, after all.”

Jon wasn’t convinced that a fondness for theme parks qualified someone as being ‘human,’ but what would he know? He had to admit that Elias was right about one thing – it would do him good to get out of the archives.

“Are you really going to China, then?”

“I suppose I am.” Jon removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

“I’ve always wanted to go someplace like that, somewhere far away,” Martin said, his eyes darting to the tape recorder on the table. “I’d like to hear about it. If you don’t… If you don’t mind, of course. Maybe I could, I mean, we could go out for a coffee together. After you get back.”

“All right,” Jon replied, replacing his glasses. That would be rather nice, actually. “After I get back.”

[kageichii]

a compilation of common route thoughts

transferring from my livetweet thread. common route finished on may 8, 2022.

✦ —

⌜  chapter 2 » april 1⌟

here's a few of my problems with this game so far: 

 1. this game tends to switch pov and it gets confusing bc the ui doesnt identify the current speaker for non dialogue texts... 

2. i usually reread scenes i'm confused about with the rewind function but this game doesnt have that

⌜  chapter 2 » april 21⌟

here's what i think of chapter 2:

nice introduction of the girls (cept for chacha ig), kageaki's personality, and his dynamics with each of them. so far i'm liking all three girls...though i do favor muramasa and ichijo more than kanae. muramasa's dynamic with kageaki is the most intriguing so far, which i honestly didn't expect? i really thought their relationship was gonna be the usual master-servant trope but this is so much better. the distance and anger between them really gives that umami flavor LMAO 

i knew kageaki would have to kill the emishi girls eventually but damn the writer really had to make it so painful to read. now i'm wondering whether that choice of whose onigiri kageaki picked determined which girl would wake up in the middle of his killing...if so, that's fucked up man

i worry about what sorimachi is planning to do after witnessing that....i still find it weird that midorikawa hikaru, who i associate with ikemen charas, is voicing a slimy old man lollll. overall, a nice chapter. ukyo's motivation is kind of...weak...imo but i guess there's people out there who's like that? maybe? i also found suzukawa to be too out there tbh. hoping the next 'villains' to have more grounded motivations. now onto the next chapter!

⌜  chapter 3 » april 23⌟

this whole conversation almost had me in tears...i see both ayane and kageaki as similar people but their approach to life are so different because of their respective backgrounds and age...my interest in ayane's route just peaked :")

⌜  chapter 3 » april 25⌟

god he's such a genuinely good person...i may not know his full backstory yet, but i still wish he wasn't so hard on himself :/

let me tell you the way i SQUEALED when this cg popped up!!! this whole scene was so otome-esque, it shot through my heart!!!

⌜  chapter 4 » may 4⌟

i'm nearing the end of chapter 4 and i have to say, the writing quality shot up greatly. it has always been good, but it got even better somehow. i still need to finish all routes to make judgement, but so far i feel like fmdm's writing have even more substance than fatamoru...

⌜  chapter 5 » may 5⌟

not gonna lie, i dont like hikaru's personality and her dynamic with kageaki. i was expecting wholesome *platonic* family bonds between them but it looks like she has a crush on him. i get that they are foster siblings but eugh can we get back to the present time please

screenshotting all these to read again later and do some research. i wish there was a book explaining all the references and historical background of this game...i don’t even know which part is made up and which part is real

⌜  chapter 5 » may 7⌟

no. the blame lies on the pride that you people have. especially the old master. why the fuck didn’t he bring the doctor sooner if he WANTS hikaru to be the next head? throughout this chapter, i thought "your idealism doesn’t seem practical" everytime a character speaks of their views

⌜  chapter 5 » may 8⌟

jesus christ. i have a lot to say about chapter 5. as much as i love kageaki and want to know more about him, i dislike flashbacks. when i realized the entire chapter is going to be exactly that, i groaned internally. not to mention i didn’t end up liking hikaru as a character and her dynamic with her family. when its revealed that she’s sick and won’t be speaking for a while i felt relieved. as the story progress though, i felt more and more immersed by the characters and their circumstances. one of the reasons why i enjoy the writing of this game so much is because the writer took his time to explain the inner workings of the characters. how they think before taking action, their views on the world, their ideals. i've played almost 40 visual novels already, and not a lot of them do this for some reason. it’s so interesting getting into the headspace of a (fictional) character who is so different than you. my heart broke reading about what happened to mizuhi. i didn’t expect to actually like her this much, or to ship her with kageaki for that matter...her tragedy affected me the most out of all the other horrible shit that happened. on that note i can’t help but go ??? at hikaru's reasoning to follow the law of might. there are most likely important things that haven’t been revealed yet about subaru and her husband, so i should withhold judgement for now. off to ichijo's route <3

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck episode 3 reaction

thirteen minutes is UNACCEPTABLE

Episode 3

Clip 1 - Returning home

I love the look of the show. That shot of them coming up from what I assume is a train station is so simple but effective, with the group breaking into two and Hanna and Jonas being left on their own to work through what happened on the trip. Us having some distance from the situation, being able to see Hanna turn away first away from Jonas.

I think the cinematography is adding a lot to my enjoyment of Druck. I just find it so calming and gently pretty, and the lighting is bright and there’s plenty of soft colors. 

Matteo and Carlos left together, which might not mean anything except they’re going the same way, or maybe they’re legit friends, or maybe Matteo doesn’t really like him but he puts up with him because they have Jonas in common or because Carlos is their weed hookup. 

Jonas saying that it’s just been the two of them (Jonas and Hanna) together lately. Interesting, implies that it’s not so much Hanna-Jonas-Matteo as we might have guessed. Or just that he’s feeling stifled by being around his girlfriend so much. Orrrrr that he has a secret that he wants to keep from her and it’s hard when she’s nearby? 

Man I really really am wondering if the changes in these character dynamics are going to build up to something, I really hope!

This Jonas is earnest as hell and it’s going to suck if he has some big horrible secret. He’s my favorite of the remake Jonases so far; he’s flawed but he seems vulnerable and he’s got great chemistry with both Hanna and Matteo. We haven’t seen him at his worst yet, it should be said.

I legit laughed out loud at Hanna’s texting of Mia, especially Mia’s text bubble disappearing. I mean, that wasn’t a bad joke on Hanna’s part, except you usually don’t talk about STDs with people you just met.

I mentioned in some other posts that I find the credits/title cards on each clip of Druck and Skam France distracting, but I like that Druck has been putting things like casual banter and (as in this clip) Hanna’s heavy sighing over them. They can easily be cut from the scene when the whole episode is put together, but it keeps the atmosphere going a little longer and adds some small details of characterization or mood. I prefer it to having music always close the scene and play over the credits.

Clip 2 - Hero Party meeting

THEY CHANGED SHIT, YES

Awww, Kiki turns out to be cute! She turned it around fast. Also props to her for acknowledging that it was sweet of Hanna to try to find her a Sam. And she clearly did not make the decision to not be on the organizing committee on her own, and Sam knows she’s fibbing.

An explanation for the hero party! So from what I can tell from German viewers, this isn’t a usual German tradition or anything, it’s specifically for the show? IDK how realistic it is but making it a tradition specific to this school makes it a little less contrived. I don’t really get how throwing an amazing party for the graduating class will make the party for this class even better, since it’ll be a whole new class throwing the party for them, unless it’s in the sense of “we raised the quality level so far that they’re going to have to try to top us.”

This isn’t a bad way to adapt russ. I’ve been waiting for a version where the five girls all got assigned together on some project/event rather than coming together voluntarily. Plus Hanna met all the girls separately prior to this meeting, so there’s an established connection between her and all the girls.

Nice way to show Hanna being a follower with her just joining Kiki/Sam at this meeting and raising her hand after everyone else does. She does feel a very insecure version of this character.

This setup makes Leonie directly reject Hanna, Kiki, and Sam based on prior beefs, and her shunning Amira to the end is not a great look. IDK what she has against Mia except she’s a new girl who had the audacity not to know what the party was, so I guess that’s enough? They really are Los Losers.

Let’s talk about what a glorious nickname Blondus Maximus is and how there was a missed opportunity to call the Penetrator Chris character some variant of that (Brunettus Maximus?) Max can be a girl’s name too! Not sure how popular it is in Germany, though.

Shout-out to Amira’s brothers! 

They also did something that I hoped they would do, instead of explaining Alexander to Hanna, they explained to Mia, who is the new girl, which makes sense. And we got her initial reaction to him.

German William/Alexander looks old as hell, even older than French William/Charles, lmao. No disrespect to the actor, I’m just not sure why the remakes are casting older-looking dudes in this role. Like Charles looks older than a teenager but almost everyone on Skam France does. Druck’s characters look like teenagers for the most part, so IDK why the William character has to be the one who looks like a teacher. Thomas Hayes was the right age. 

I’m laughing at his socks. And him getting out of his car just isn’t the same without being flanked by several nameless members of his posse.

Some of the slow-motion effect is kinda strange and doesn’t look right. I noticed it in the first clip with Leonie’s walk, too.

I really liked Kiki after being somewhat underwhelmed by her first appearance (the same with Daphne, tbh). Sam and Amira remain great. Mia is the only one I’m not 100% sold on, though I think she could turn out OK.

Clip 3 - Mia and Hanna in Spanish class

OK I was wayyyy too excited that Mia mentioned her roommate using her IG to stalk guys. GERMAN ESKILD WHERE ARE YOU.

I did find it kind of weird why were they weren’t sitting together in the first place, because they walked into the room together and if Mia can just get up and move it’s not like they have assigned seats.

I felt kinda bad for the teacher in this one even if she shouldn’t be making mistakes. Her wardrobe looks like that of every enthused language teacher I’ve ever had.

Ahhh, still not sure how I feel about Mia so far? She’s cute but seems kinda stilted, and she looks a little older than the other girls (she’s 21 IRL). I do think she was better in this clip than in prior ones. Her character was more polite to the guy who’s talking to her than Noora or Manon was. She’s so far a far sweeter version of the character.

Also this clip amped up the Mia/Hanna. Mia was very, very eager to talk to Hanna at the start.

Clip 4 - Friend

You know what? I’m kinda with Jonas on this one. Why should you actually treat a bunch of assholes that you don’t like? Like this dude who apparently puts Nazi symbols on a teacher’s car? Fuck that guy, I wouldn’t throw him a party.

Obviously I don’t think he should make fun of Hanna wanting to participate, and Hanna is right, not all grade 12 students are going to be assholes. But Jonas’ reaction at least makes sense, rather than being like “this is wrong because I hate capitalism and this ties in for some reason.” (To be fair, Jonas’ opening monologue isn’t about capitalism this time around. He does mention Nazis in it, though!)

“Netflix and chili con carne” is the German version of Fresh Prince and nachos, eh?

Awww, Hanna made a friend! This Jonas seems very happy that Hanna made a friend, too.

General Comments:

Thirteen minutes?? THIRTEEN MINUTES??

no i’m not bitter

I cannot believe they teased that Hanna/Mia hangout and didn’t deliver. We didn’t even get any IG posts from whatever they were doing.

ok yeah i’m a little bitter. a smidge

Is it normal to be back at school the week following Easter? They weren’t there on Monday but I’ve seen people say they should be off the full week, I think?

Kinda wish we were going full on with the Hanna and Amira friendship but I can see how that scene was mostly there to establish her as a character through Hanna before the Hero Party, and I guess it’s possible that they will bond as a duo at some point. Maybe. I’m not thinking this is gonna be a total overhaul of S1.

Jonas and Hanna being all “it’s about being friends AND being in love” in the texts - goddamn they’re so sweet.

Also from the texts, it sounds like German Eskild is into bears. Man bears, to be clear.

This week’s episode better be at least 20 minutes, you can’t do me like that, Germany. I actually like your take on Norwegian teenagers.

[noexit-ff]

42.

Pulling up Maurice’ sweatpants, lifting his little butt up and fixing them around his waist “me and you about to be dripping in Bape today son, I am wearing Bape and you’re wearing Bape. Oh and momma said I got to to put these little ass gloves on you because you keep scratching your face, you need to stop doing this. Now this is your punishment” he hates these on his hands but when he gets angry and irritated he scratches his face and pulls his ear, we are going for his check up at seven weeks and it’s practically the second time we are taking him out of the house. We are trying to make sure everything is right, we have the changing bag packed, he is dressed, fed and diaper changed. I did all of it of course, I enjoy it. Robyn is fully back to normal, I am happy she is more active but I am still doing all of this for her “I know you hate it but your momma said it, sorry” he has a little temper on him, he started kicking his legs and moving his arms around “now, now big boy. Just because you seven weeks don’t mean you can start throwing your arms around like that” he scrunched his face up and let out a cry, a cry so hard like someone hurt him “I couldn’t even take a picture of your fit, man” turning around to search for his pacifier “I was just bringing it you” Robyn came out from the bathroom, taking it from her “did you cover his hands, I feel like he has an infection in his eye you know” walking back over to him “calm down my nigga” placing the pacifier in his mouth “look, see this. This yellow thing, I cleaned it in the morning but I think he’s done that to himself. I am glad he is having his check up” shaking my head at my son “your momma ain’t happy with you” Robyn always got some issue with him, it’s funny.

Dapping Cass “the man with baby breezy outfits for days, nigga your IG is constantly full of outfits of baby Breezy, everyone is waiting to see his face” placing the cigarette between my lips, patting my pockets for my lighter “we late! No” Robyn grabbed the cigarette out from my lips “that is literally your fault, you was busy doing god knows what” Cass chuckled walking around the car “I am listening to the wife” I guess I better get in the car “don’t you like the outfits I put on Cass?” I questioned “I do but check the comments, they are asking to see him” pulling open the car door “well Robyn says we can’t do that yet, he has his photo shoot with Dennis tomorrow. We get the pictures of the labour. So soon they will see my prince” sitting inside the car “I miss my Lamborghini so much, besides getting food I am missing the studio, the boys” switching the car engine on “gets to you, baby sick, feeding, crying and than their diaper. I be coming out here to you, when you on tour that is like heaven for me” nodding my head smiling “it’s nice, I feel like I have bonded with him a lot but Robyn is just like her mom. She don’t put up with shit” waiting for the gate to open “we both can’t be soft, I do spoil him but I am not putting up with his shit. He needs to learn” Robyn said, I snorted laughing “he is seven weeks babe” she already acting like he got to pay rent and shit “mhmmm I don’t care” she is funny my wife.

Sitting down next to Robyn in the waiting room “I forgot to tell you, well I didn’t forget but I am taking you out tonight, just for a meal. Just me and you, you’re better now and I want to take you out, just us. My mom said she will come over and look after him, I don’t want sex. I am not doing it because of that but I want to just spend some time away from the home, be us a little” I don’t want Robyn to think I am doing this because of sex, I am waiting on her for that and my mom said I shouldn’t push for sex, my mom is so annoying but she is right “well I mean if you want too, I will be happy to go out with you. It’s been so long since we have actually” smiling lightly at Robyn “then my beautiful wife we shall go out, just for some food and maybe dessert” placing my arm behind Robyn “do you actually see me as being sexy? I just feel like, after the tear. I might not feel the same way, you have seen all of the worse things. People out there see the beautiful Rihanna, the ever so perfect me but you see Robyn. The wrong, I just feel like I can’t live up to what I was, I don’t know. I am different” licking my lips ever slowly being ever so confused at Robyn “Mr and Mrs Brown, Sarah is ready to see you” I was about to speak, Robyn got up from the chair quickly “hey” grabbing her hand “we will talk after” picking up the baby car seat and getting up as I did. Walking into the office “good to see you walking without feeling any pain now” Sarah said to Robyn “I am happy to be pass that part in my life, I can actually be a mother” shaking Sarah’ hand “are you still waking him up on purpose?” placing the car seat down “uuuuhh, I don’t do that now. Come on Sarah” sitting down laughing “mhmmm he does still do it” Robyn said “only when I get bored” I added quickly.

Watching Sarah put his diaper back on “he will get it from his dad, nothing but big in the Brown gene” I added “I don’t expect anything less from you Chris but all is well in his genital area, even after the circumcision” furrowing my eyebrows “he’s having injections?” I questioned seeing the equipment out “yes he will be at the end, we just need to check a few more things. At seven weeks he weighs twelve pounds and thirteen ounces which is very good and healthy” my son is being ever so quiet “how is he sleeping at night?” Sarah asked “not including Chris waking him, he does sleep but at nights is when he tends to be more alive and awake, I am trying to get him out of that. I give him a bath every night, feed him about nine but like I said Chris likes to wake him, but he does go to sleep” I don’t know why Robyn is airing me out “well Mr Brown to keep your son in a good routine you need to stop waking him, Robyn what you are doing is perfect. You are whining him down, baths are the best thing but Chris. Waking him up has got to stop” I don’t care what she says, I will wake him up still “let’s see what your head strength is like Christopher Junior, do you place him on his stomach?” Sarah placed Maurice on his stomach, his little head wobbled but he lifted his head up “not really, why?” Robyn said “do it in the mornings, it’s good for his neck and head movements. Get him in the crawling mode, so last thing” she turned him back around “Robyn can you just interact with him for me” Robyn walked over to where Maurice is laid out “hello baby boy, you being so good for Sarah aren’t you. You love having your naked legs out” he got ever so excited to see Robyn “that is great, he responds well” Sarah said, Robyn cooed out “I am so proud of you my big boy, you didn’t cry” he is actually being so good.

Sarah walked back in “so having checked his eye, he has scratched his left eye. And as you said, he gets highly irritated and starts scratching his ear and face, does he go into a crying rage when he is like that?” I nodded my head “when I have him at night he does it a lot, it’s like he is angry. I just rock him and try to soothe him, his cries does get a lot” Sarah nodded her head “I am glad you both spilt it between you both, it’s something we called colic and a lot of babies get it. Nothing bad, it’s fine and it will pass. It’s the gas in his stomach, getting trapped, when he is crying he is taking too much air in and that is painful for him. It’s nothing bad, you both doing a great job and it will pass. Nothing to worry about, he will just need his parent to comfort him. Now this” she held out a little box “this is eye-drops for his eye, keep cleaning his eye every morning and night with a warm new wash cloth, place this in his eye for a few days and his eye will get better” taking the eye-drops from her “so we have the nasty part, his shots. It will be three altogether and it will be done on his thigh and the other is oral and I will leave you both to soothe him” I am going to let Robyn deal with this one, I will watch on.

Robyn side eyed me, she wanted me to help but she can do it “I can’t betray my son like that when I know what y’all are going to do to him, that’s my nigga right there. It’s blood code and I can’t do it” shaking my head unimpressed “he is not going to see my face before he feels that pain, it’s painful to watch” I would never do that “you’re so annoying, I can never take you seriously” Sarah is always laughing at us “Maurice drinks anything. I wouldn’t even accept what you are giving orally, I should have warned him earlier about this” Robyn stared at me, she is trying so hard to be annoyed me at me but smiled at me instead “I do wonder at times what goes on in your mind, but then I remember you’re my goofy baby and that you make smile” look at Robyn being all cute “I try, Robyn loves me really” Sarah finished giving him whatever the hell she gave him “what is your dad like Junior” it’s shame they about to ruin my son’ mood, he looks very happy “I know son, he is crazy” smiling at my son just kicking his legs and staring at Robyn, he looks at Robyn like I do, in awe. Getting my phone out, pressing the camera and pressing record “y’all setting my nigga up” kissing my teeth “anyways, Robyn if you would like to hold his hands so he doesn’t hit my hand during the injections” Robyn looked up at me “free Chris Junior, he doesn’t deserve this” flicking the camera to my face “for future reference son, I played no part in this. This was all your mother” stopping the recording.

Crossing my arms across my chest, shuffling to the side a little so I can see. Biting my thumb nail, I don’t like it. Maurice knows something is off “you trying to kick me away now?” Sarah said smiling at him as she wiped both of his thighs, Sarah picked up the first needle and held his left leg down and the first injection went in. The loud shriek of a cry left his mouth, she quickly did the second injection and at this point my poor son is crying his heart out. Sarah placed two band-aids on his thigh “I am sorry baby, I am here” Robyn said, nothing is going to make him calm down now, Sarah did the third injection and I was going to say something but then I stopped myself, seeing Robyn looking very emotional I felt bad “all done now, you can take him home when you both are ready” Sarah said, Robyn was quick to pick him up “I know, I am sorry son. This is the only pain you will feel” picking the pacifier out of the bag “why are you crying?” I said to Robyn, wiping the tear from her face “why are you emotional then?” Robyn retorted “I’m not” I shrugged placing the pacifier in his mouth hopefully to help him “it’s ok to show your feelings, you got upset too” clearing my throat playing it off.

Chris Junior is not having it, we have been here for twenty minutes now and we have just got his clothes on. He is crying and then goes quiet and then cries again “carry him down, the car seat will upset him more” Robyn said to me “I know son, I get it. It was horrible but it is all done now, we can go home” placing his hood up over his head “we won’t come back again, we can disown your mother for a while too” picking him up, placing him over my shoulder with my hand behind his head for support and my other hand holding his body, I am using two hands for this because he is too special “my baby is crying real tears, it’s ok baby” Robyn said, he went a little silent but still whimpering in my ear “are you ok now?” I asked Robyn, Robyn let out a grunt “why are these things heavy but yeah, I am ok now” she opened the door “I didn’t really laugh at you for getting upset, I was just you know. Sucking back the thug tears” Robyn held the door open for me “I know you Chris, I know you” stepping out onto the lobby , the nurses walking by smiled but kept trying to see Maurice but the hood is covering him.

Waiting for Robyn to get into the car and get comfortable “guess he took it bad?” Cass said “yeah, can babies take it well?” I retorted back, crouching down next to the car “babies should be ok after a while, some don’t” passing Robyn Junior slowly “it’s ok baby, I know. I am a terrible person, I am going to snuggle you now” getting up from my position and closing the door “glad it’s over with now, it’s tiring taking a baby out though. I can’t wait to go home” hearing him cry from inside the car “can we put music on?” Cass said looking at the Rolls Royce “not unless you want Robyn to beat your ass, I think not. I will try and get home quick” walking around the car, I just hope he calms down or maybe Robyn’ breasts can calm him because they can calm me down.

Holding Princess as I made my way up the stairs “I don’t think you’re allowed to see your brother today, he ain’t in a good mood so no funny business ma’am. You got to stay with me” stroking her head “you need to quit playing though, those dog’s out there want you so you need to not go out in the yard. Not unless you want sex but you too innocent for that baby girl” opening the bedroom door, Robyn has her head wrap on and is in bed with Maurice on her chest, he looks asleep “is he ok now?” I questioned walking over to the bed “not really, he keeps scrunching his face up and then lets out a sob, like now. Look” watching him poke his bottom lip out “awww no, look at him having nightmares” Robyn pressed a kiss to his forehead “it’s ok baby, I am here. I cancelled the photoshoot, he will be no good for it” nodding my head sitting on the edge of the bed “does that mean you cancelled the meal?” I really want to go out, the silence says it all “he needs us, how can I leave him like this” Robyn said “but we will be back but it’s cool now, you said it” Princess let out a whine placing her head down “I know girl, I will just go and tell my mom” getting up from the bed walking off, this is annoying.

I told my mom but she still came, she wanted to see us anyways “it’s not like you to be so quiet” my mom said, staring at the TV screen and there is nothing even on, just a blank screen “did you do something stupid?” my mom asked, shaking my head “if I knew these shots would make him feel this way I would have taken Robyn yesterday, I just wanted to get out of the house and have an adult conversation, without him just crying and then taking Robyn’ attention. Don’t give me that look, I am being good. I am a nigga that likes it, it’s been months and I am struggling but I didn’t even want sex. I just wanted a nice meal out but Robyn said no, so now I am stuck here again” I am having a tantrum “who said having a baby is easy, she is a mother and wants to be close to her baby, stop this ok. You can cause your own arguments sometimes. I know my son, just like Robyn knows her son. I know my son is not the kind to be sat at home, it’s getting you down being inside but she needs you. My grandbaby needs you, he is not an easy child and when they have colic it’s not easy. He will get over it but right now at this moment she needs rest and then he needs you, nobody will know their child more than the woman that carried them. You’re bored, I know. So what do you want to do about it?” my mom is mad annoying “go and watch more ebony lesbian porn and use my hand” resting my head back “I wonder where I went wrong with you sometimes, it’s her decision so you need to get over it” women are annoying.

I don’t know if my mom came to see me and make me feel better or came here to make me feel worse “doesn’t Tootie need you? You can go home now” I don’t want to know “no, my son needs me” I groaned out “I just need to be alone thank you” my mom doesn’t stop, hearing a pair of heels clicking away at the hard flooring. Turning my head in confusion waiting for that person “is Tootie here?” I asked my mom “no, I am alone” I am confused now, getting up from the couch to check on who the fuck that is “are you wearing that?” Robyn said coming from around the corner, the air got caught in my throat seeing the open toed heels, I know those toes. I felt the excitement go all the way down to my dick, I see some toes and I am gone, dragging my eyes slowly up “ok, what?” shaking my head blinking “you said you ain’t going out?” what is even happening “your leg is on show?” I said in disbelief “I know, you said you wanted to go out for a meal and we are. I did say no but he is settled, I saw the look on your face when I said no and it will only be for a few hours and Joyce will be fine with him” she looks beautiful “I mean we can stay in the house and I can admire you? Your thighs look juicy too, I like this after birth body. Shiiiit your boobs” Robyn ignored me, walking around me “momma, he is in his bedroom asleep. The monitor, you can see him. The bottles I will set out for you now while Chris cleans his drool” she looks so bomb in the long black dress with a high split on the left side, she knows she is sexy.

I thought I would bring Robyn to her favourite place, it’s been a while since she has been here at Giorgio Baldi. Sitting down across from Robyn “feels weird being out, I am used to being at home now. I kind of miss being at home” the waiter came along “we already got the finest wine we have on the menu for you Mrs Brown” Rihanna is popular here, the waiters bought a bucket of ice out “I want water too please” the waiter smiled at me “I will be back shortly to take your food orders” the lady poured the wine for the both of us “watch me get tipsy, I will have one glass. I can’t have more” pulling a face “I don’t fuck with wine, that shit is nasty but I am paying so we need to drink and eat all the food we order” Robyn licking her lips smiling “watching the money now?” she looked back down at the menu “those diapers are costing us” Robyn scoffed “you keep making a mess of them, you need to do better” it is mostly my fault, she is not wrong there.

Robyn loves the food here, it’s ok but I preferred something fried today. Wiping my mouth with the napkin “I want to go back to what you said earlier actually, I don’t get how you can say you don’t feel sexy when you walked out looking like a meal” shuffling my chair closer to Robyn, I am so far from her “I feel different, my body feels different. Just I feel it and like, when we have sex what if nothing is the same. You saw everything, how can you find me sexy after that? They practically had to put my pussy back together, I just feel like my body is not as it was and I am not unhappy. But I still want you to find me sexy, because if I can’t make you happy then what is the point of us” Robyn is so dramatic “did you not see my reaction earlier? I was literally a dog with a bone, how can you think it. I mean ok, I get it. From your perspective I saw what I saw, and you went through that but I am not put off you. I respect you more than ever. You did it, you gave birth to our son. I am so proud of you Robyn and god dammit woman I find you sexy!” I half shouted, other customers in the place stared at us “she is sexy right? My wife” I pointed at Robyn as I said it to this woman “shut up, I get it” Robyn hid her face with her hands “but seriously, I would tell you the truth. Your body is looking so right, I like it. I like when I see the little booty jiggle, it’s dangerous to be having your thigh out when I am on heat” Robyn placed her hand under my jaw and pulled me forward “I love you” she pressed a kiss to my lips “I love you too” to see the happiness in Robyn makes my heart happy.

Reaching behind me and into my jacket pocket, pulling two boxes out and placing them on the table in front of Robyn “what is that?” Robyn questioned, placing my hand on top of Robyn’ thigh “open them” I simply said, Robyn picked up the first box “it was a little last minute but I knew what to get you” she opened the box, she gasped “a charm for my bracelet” she got the charm out “awwww it’s a prince charm” she turned it around “May Sixth, CMBJ” she cooed out “this is perfect, it shows our journey and I love it so much” she placed the charm back in the box “the other box is gold with diamond encrusted spacers for the bracelet, you have eleven. Each spacer for every hour you was in labour” Robyn gawked at me “stop it, you’re going to make me cry” she opened the second box seeing the eleven spacers I got “now I am crying” Robyn sobbed out “no, don’t cry. I didn’t want you to cry, stop it” hugging Robyn “something like this, you are so attention to detail about the birth of our son. How you care even though you joke about things, I feel it. I feel your appreciation to me, thank you” pressing a kiss to Robyn’ lips “also, I want to take you away. Not yet, just a weekend away where we can get freaky in silence but also just have time away. When you are ready, on a real I ain’t pushing you or anything, as a woman your body has been through a lot and I saw it. My wife, the love of my life going through that, almost too weak to do anything and then bringing herself back to push our son out, I can’t ever top what you did. I know I joke a lot but I am leaving this on you. But when we do I want it to be special, make you feel like a virgin again” Robyn and I laughed “we can let my mom and your mom look after him, let them spend time with him” Robyn kissed my cheek “thank you so much, I feel a weight has been lifted” I didn’t want Robyn to feel obliged to be doing that.

Driving slowly to the next window at the McDonalds drive thru, stopping at the window waiting for the food “just waiting on your Filet o fish but here is your Strawberry Sundae” the lady said holding it out and then looked into the car “oh my god!” she froze staring at me “no way, it’s Chris Brown!” she shouted ever so loudly and not gave me the damn strawberry sundae “I love you so much, oh my god” taking the strawberry sundae from her “here baby” I said to Robyn “no, oh my god. Rihanna, that is Rihanna in the car” this girl is about to give herself a seizure “I love you both so much!” smiling at her “I love you too baby” I think this has made her night “I was just about to clock off too, on god. I love you both so much. Here is your food” grabbing the bag from her “can I just touch your hand? Please god” laughing as I held her hand “have good night ma” let me drive off before we get harassed being here.

I am having to drive and eat because my mom called, Junior won’t settle “here” Robyn held the Filet o Fish out for me to eat, taking a bite “I do hate being away from him so much, I feel incomplete when he is not close” Robyn said “I feel the same way about Princess” I said with my mouth full, swallowing down the food “I am playing, I know. I do want us to go away on holiday though, us three. Also Dennis giving us those photos, can we now just show him? I am dying to do baby breezy diary already” Robyn is being mad boring “fuck the world, I know you want to protect him. But fuck the world, our mini us deserves to be shown to the world. I am so excited to see the pictures because I know he caught some moments” catching Robyn eating my food “now you’re just being greedy” side eyeing her “sorry but we will, I am scared on how I look, thank you for today though Chris. You have really made me happy, my insecurities I had are now gone. You’re my hype man” smiling wide “and you’re my hype woman, you made me feel confident with Junior, you teach me too and I thank you for that” we both hype each other up.

I think tonight is going to be a long night, he is not happy about anything and also she put those eye drops in his eye which made him even more annoyed “temper like your dad’” Robyn said as she rocked him “or like his mom, that bajan anger” shuffling up in the bed, my back resting against the headboard “are you watching TV?” Robyn questioned as the TV came up from the bed “kind of yes, well I will try too but there is a lot of noise in this room” looking at Junior “let me have him, see if he gets comfortable with me” letting youtube load up, slowly taking him from Robyn “what are you even doing?” placing his pacifier back in his mouth “what up my man, it’s me again. I don’t know why your momma even awake, it’s meant to be father and son time. We disowned her didn’t we?” Maurice is just staring at me “I know why you was crying, you missed me at night. I get it son” he is very quiet now “don’t you bother!” Robyn spat, I chuckled as the beat started “this is what we do, we watch alien shows and that forehead here looks alien like in this video” Robyn wrapped arms around my arm, resting the side of her face against my arm “I fucking hate you” she mumbled laughing “Come Mr. DJ, song pon de replay. Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?” I sang along “I know son, that is your momma’ voice” looking down at Robyn “seriously, you’re so stupid and I hate this song of mine. Is this what you both do, laugh at me” shaking my head “no, I just be singing to him and shit. He is quiet though” she is never awake this late to see.

[theycallme-tunathot]

Road to Ruin [Chapter 6] Reader

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader Rating: Somewhere between R and NC-17 I suppose Synopsis: As the tension between the two best friends reaches an all-time high, Jackson concocts a plan to overcome it and move forward with his “fake girlfriend plan.” Cue a little test drive. Author’s Note: I banged this out really quick and I’m so proud. Wow. I got really inspired and plus, I’m about to house-sit for a few days and my best friend’s wifi is so shady. So I knew I had to do this while I had the reliable connection. Hope you guys enjoy! Don’t be shy to drop into my inbox and let me know! Gif credit goes here.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

"Be honest with me: Was that the first time one of your friends said something about me?"

Your name: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

Jackson and I should've never been best friends.  

With how polar opposite we were to each other, we should've never worked even as casual friends. But somehow that didn't matter. Somehow his natural friendliness and my way of keeping him from spending all his time in the clouds, worked.

I remember the exact moment I decided I wanted to be his friend. He already considered me a friend by that point and insisted we eat lunch together nearly every day. I knew he was foreign and came to Korea for training and he probably found me easiest to talk with because I could speak Cantonese, but I was still confused about his energy.  

Why did it have to be me?

My mind always asked me that question, but I never bothered to ask it aloud. It was in bad taste to do so wasn't it? And after all, who knows what kind of answer Jackson would give. Not to mention the very real fear I had about him answering that question.

If memory served me well, some questions were best left unasked. While Jackson proved to be a nice guy for the most part and someone who definitely found ways of getting along with everyone he came in contact with, I couldn't be sure what the real answer was. But I had an idea of what I feared it was.

"You don't talk much."

"Everybody thinks of me as a foreigner."

"You give me all the rice you won't eat."

Those were the answers I feared the most. They were examples of a guy who was just too new and still settling in. It meant he was friends with me because it was convenient. I didn't incessantly bug him about his life in China, I didn't always point out his grammatical mistakes when he spoke in Korean or look down on him for not understanding a cultural difference between China and Korea and I cut my rice intake down drastically after my last meeting with my nutritional coach. I was a safe choice. If I was the safe choice now, all these reasons turned into the most superficial of bonds between us and that meant he would drop me as soon as he found his social group around the training facility.

And somehow that seemed like the worst outcome. Jackson's constant presence and interaction made me understand just how lonely I was before. I hardly talked to anyone, I focused way too much on my training to the point of having little downtime and when I did speak to people, I somehow intimidated them.

But all of that flew out of the window during a co-ed sabre training session. After beating me mercilessly during our bout, we sat on the side watching two more co-ed pairs begin their bout. Jackson was talking to me about something, but I couldn't hear him. I was too far in my head trying to understand why he turned down going to Jinyoung's party to accompany me to my parents' house.

"I just think I need to work on strengthening my core a little mo--"

"Are you sure you don't want to go to Jinyoung's party?" I asked, still not facing him, still not looking either. "I mean, Jinyoung's house is awfully close to mine, you can literally walk from my house to his."

For a split second I could see Jackson's confusion at the abrupt interruption, but once he was calibrated to the new direction of our conversation, he didn't hesitate to answer.

"Of course I'm sure. I promised you I was going to your family dinner thing, so I'm going."

The ease that he said it with was so...unnerving.

I frowned, "Yeah but...it's not that big of a deal. You can go, I don't care."

"Y/N, it doesn't matter, it's a done deal."

"I mean, you can dip out after meeting my family. Nobody would be upset with that."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jackson shake his head. "I'm going and staying the entire time."

I rolled my eyes out of frustration. Why was he so stuck on being a nice guy and helping me survive dinner with my family? We'd only known each other for two months, yet he was treating this situation like we'd known each other forever. How dramatic did this guy have to be?

A deep sigh escaped my mouth before I sat my hands over my mask placed in my lap.

"Do you not want me to go?" He asked.

"I never said that."

"Yeah, but that seems like the place this conversation is naturally going."

"I'm just...Jinyoung's parties are legendary around these parts," I reasoned, feeling bile burn a whole through my esophagus as I complimented my enemy from birth. "It's a huge social event and I'm sure you'd thrive in that kind of crowd. You'll get to meet all kinds of people from here."

"So? It's not like those parties never happen except one weekend out of the decade," Jackson shot back, breathing out a soft laugh. "Honestly, it wouldn't hurt to miss one party."

His answer only seemed more peculiar to me. While I didn't have any close friends or even acquaintances that I could use as a reference point, I was positive this wasn't normal behavior for a friend. My frown only deepened at the thought as he shifted beside me to stretch his legs out.

"I think I got fat," Jackson mumbled morosely as he picked at the abdominal area of his jacket.

I blinked a couple of times, finally turning to look at him.

"Honestly, this feels tighter than before. And for fuck's sake, my legs," he lamented loudly, his voice traveling slightly to other pockets of pairs in the room. "It's like elephant legs but like, a miniature elephant's legs."

The snort that sounded forth from somewhere deep in my body couldn't be restrained. As I quickly covered my mouth, I felt a sharp jab at my ribs as I was nudged harshly. Tipping to the side before rocking back to an upright position, I shook my head in awe.

"I don't get it," I mumbled out silently. It wasn't really meant for anyone, but I should've known Jackson heard me. He somehow always did.

"Get what?"

Before my brain had enough time to work out the intricacies of what words held what weight in this situation and how to perfectly phrase the response or if I would even be honest about what I meant by the statement, my heart leapt into action.

"Why are we friends?"

The way he answered that question made me realize that maybe I was thinking about our interactions with an unfair bias toward Jackson.

Jackson was handsome. Jackson had the potential of being extremely popular because he was likable and handsome. Jackson was the antithetical embodiment of me. But Jackson never considered any of that when he took a seat next to me at lunch on his first day. So why did I continue to do that?

By the time I was able to completely pull out of that memory, I was in my dorm room. The backs of my heels were bleeding from how brand new the pair of heels were. My roommate swore she'd never even tried them on and the proof was now trickling down my achilles heel and no doubt leaving a stain on the inside of the shoe. Not to mention the leather was slightly scuffed.

I slowly gathered up everything I needed for a shower and pajamas. Thankfully my roommate already left for her weekend in Busan with her sister, leaving me with the choice of noise I wanted to make.

Walking into the connecting bathroom, I made sure to lock the second door that led to my suitemates' room before closing the door and turning the water on. As I waited for the water to heat up, I could feel my mind racing to distract myself from analyzing what happened in the car. On the long walk back to the dorms, I kept myself occupied by going over my meal plan and the detailed nutritional content my nutrition coach discussed with me. By the time I reached the facility's grounds, I kept my mind occupied by counting the steps it took to get from the exterior gate to the women's dorms.

But now, seated in the bathroom of my dorm, I was still desperate to push the event as far down and out of my subconscious as I could. So I began to go over my schedule from this second and onto the next day.  

I would take this shower.

I would wipe the makeup thoroughly off of my face.

I would text Jackson.

I would go to sleep.

I would wake up around 7 a.m. for breakfast and a run.

I would go to the weight room for strength training directly afterward.

I would go to the suit shop with Youngjae...again.

I would go back to my dorm room and watch tape of my practice bout from a few days ago.

And I repeated this schedule all the way through my shower, while scrubbing the copious amounts of cosmetics off my face and when I finally changed into a pair of blue running shorts and a gray hoodie.

By the time I was tucked into bed, plugging my nearly dead phone in to charge, I was brutally reminded that I still needed to text Jackson. There was a tiny piece of me that didn't want to text him. At least not tonight. With all the events of tonight still fresh in my mind, I didn't want to relive it one last time before I went to sleep.

Walking out of the car and refusing to take my best friend's offer for help was already bad enough. It would be worse for me to not text him that I arrived at the dorms safe and sound right?

Loudly, I groaned as I reached for my phone. Begrudgingly unlocking it and clicking on the messenger app, I paused a moment. My eyes scanned the series of threads I had going at any given time. Jackson was at the very top. After Jackson was Youngjae. Just below him my sabre coach. The next three were my parents and my sister. And then it was a whole lot of blank space. The amount of white that glared back at me taunted me mercilessly. It only reminded me of something Bambam said earlier.

"Jackson has to be her only friend huh?"

In some ways that was true. I didn't talk to Youngjae nearly as much as I talked to Jackson, mainly due to Youngjae never leaving his room during his down time and refusing to work out with me. Jackson really was the only person I spent time with and one of the few people on this planet I would do just about anything to help. But somehow hearing that aloud made me feel sick to my stomach and pathetic.

My finger put just enough pressure to open up my messages with Jackson as my eyes scanned the weird and colored bubbles of text before they finally settled on the blinking cursor. What did I text? Something normal, like Made it back to the dorms, night just seemed too bland. Well, maybe more than bland, it seemed like an invitation to start a conversation. With my mental state, I didn't want to start a conversation. I just wanted Jackson to know I made it back in one piece and that what happened tonight wasn't his fault.  

...And that he would hopefully have the sense not to bring this up tomorrow during strength training.

Hey! Guess who's aliv--

No. That was stupid.

Jackson, made it back. So you at 8.

I rolled my eyes and erased the text, starting again. I did that five more times, starting a message before deleting it seconds later, before my exhausted body begged my mind to let it go and send the fucking text.

Hey buddy, wound up in a ditch tonight, but luckily somebody brought my corpse back to my room and tucked me in. Night, I'll see you in the weight room.

I attached a picture of me with my eye closed and quickly hit the send button before my thumb decided to erase that message too.

Just as I pulled up the quick menu to put my phone on Night Mode, my whole screen flashed to a picture of Jackson. He was calling and it only made me inwardly groan. I didn't want to talk right now. But I also couldn't bring myself not to answer the phone. Closing my eyes in exasperation, I hit the green button and raised my phone to my ear.

"Hello."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not rotting yet, so I'll take that as okay."

"Seriously Y/N."

And that's when I noticed it. It took me two responses to notice how dead serious Jackson was at the moment. It was a tone that he took earlier when I was standing on the shoulder of the highway trying desperately not to cry. It was the same tone he gave me when he pled for me to get back in the car.

My eyes opened slowly as I took a deep breath. "I'm fine."

"Listen, I didn't mean to get you into such an awkward--"

"Jackson, it's really whatever."

I immediately face-palmed. What kind of response was that?

"What does that even mean?"

Awkward silence lingered until I finally had a rational thought that seemed coherent enough to speak aloud. "It's fine. I just want to sleep right now. It's like--" I paused to look at my alarm clock, "4 in the morning. I have to be up in three hours to get ready for strength training. As do you."

"Yeah, but I think we need to talk about--"

"Can we talk about it tomorrow when I'm not halfway asleep?"

Another silence dropped into the conversation, but I could hear Jackson literally fighting the idea of giving up on the conversation and ending the phone call. But he also probably felt a sense of guilt and didn't want to push me. That thought only made me feel worse.

He huffed out a frustrated but resigned breath. "Fine, but we're talking about this eventually."

"Okay. Goodnight!"

Once I heard his goodbye, I hung up. My cell phone made a loud clatter as I set it down on the night stand and turned over. I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow, but it wasn't like this moment was any better.

The next morning I woke up well before my alarm ever went off. It was annoying really. I got dressed much too early and got to the cafeteria well ebfore anyone else was up and ready to take on their day. I chocked it up to how late I went to sleep, but somehow that didn't make me feel any better about sitting in the cafeteria all alone.

Almost as soon as I finished my oatmeal and fruit cup I was rudely reminded of every little detail from the previous night.

If I was being honest with myself, I wasn't mad at Jackson. I knew from the moment I decided to be his best friend, we would always co-exist in some weird space but always live in separate worlds. While the training facility and the cafeteria were the places we could comfortably co-exist with one another. Outside of that, it was hard to merge our worlds to coexist and last night was just living proof of that.

But last night was maddening for a variety of reasons. To start with, I did a lot of prepwork to look the way I did and even bit back some of my own pride to willingly show up to Jinyoung's house. But for all that trouble, I had nothing to prove it was worth all the trouble I went through. Mark was no closer to knowing who I was and probably no closer to being interested in me than he was 24 hours ago.

To top off the night, I got to hear a very earnest account of someone else's perception of me. I didn't blame Bambam for anything he said. He was obviously drunk judging by the fresh scent of tequila wafting around him every time he opened his mouth. I also didn't hold anything against Jackson—at least he stood up for me.

Even though I didn't really place the blame for last night on any one person, I knew it all started with me. If I hadn't felt so determined to get a moment or two with Mark just to prove that I could fit into a group I clearly didn't belong to, everything that happened after that would've never happened.

"Y/N!"

Startled out of my thoughts, I jumped and looked behind me where the voice came from.

Jackson.

"You're up early," I pointed out casually.

"So are you."

"But that's not so odd to see. I always go for a morning run."

"I know that."

He gave me a look that screamed that he wasn't in the mood to dance around the topic and I nodded dejectedly, my eyes drifting away from him. "Of course you do."

Jackson walked around the end of the table before plopping down in the seat in front of me, loudly setting a tray of soup and rice down and his water bottle.

"How're you doing?"

"My legs are incredibly sore, my running shoes are literally scratching the new scabs at the back of my heels which feels fantastic and I maybe got four hours of sleep. I'm doing great."

"That's not what I mean."

I shifted uncomfortably, unwilling to look Jackson in the face. It wasn't worth it really. I knew the moment I looked up, my eyes would be met by the intense stare that would beg me to share my thoughts and feelings and I risked crying in the middle of the cafeteria.  

So instead, I gripped my own water bottle, unscrewing the top to take a swig.

"What am I supposed to say Jackson? It sucks. I feel shitty."

"That's exactly what you're supposed to say. Be honest!"

His whole face lit up at my response.

My face only seemed to tighten in a frown, "Jackson, I don't want to think about it."

"But it's something we should probably talk about."

"No, we don't."

"Yes, we do," he argued, tilting his head incredulously at me. "Why shouldn't we?"

"Because you're my best friend and I don't want to hurt your feelings."

It was immediately obvious from Jackson's face that I hit a raw nerve with him. He seemed to be clueless as to what I meant by that, but the words still held a great deal of weight. I wondered why for a moment, but the wonder immediately dissipated.  

I was his best friend.

"Why would you hurt my feelings?"

"Be honest with me: Was that the first time one of your friends said something about me?"

The milliseconds, which easily turned into seconds, ticked by agonizingly slow as Jackson seemed to be at a loss for an answer. Laughing humorlessly, I nodded my head.

Figures.

"Another question, and feel free to answer this time: Was that the first time you've had to defend me against stuff your friends have said about me?"

"No."

"Thanks for being honest," I said breathily. "I would've never forgiven you for lying considering you hang out with Jinyoung. And that guy makes his living shit talking about me."

Jackson nodded, unable to hide even a small smile at that statement.

"This is gonna be a problem."

"What is?"  

I gestured between the two of us, "This. I'm supposed to convincingly be your girlfriend, but your friends think I'm a hermit crab with zero fucks to give about my appearance. This won't work."

Panic flashed over my best friend's face and for a moment, he looked lost. His wide dark brown eyes darted over my entire face, perhaps begging me to come out with a punchline that would discredit my previous words. But when it never came, his usually bright and warm face darkened.

"So you want out then?"

I shrugged, "How would we convince your friends that I'm dateable? Bambam said it last night: I never leave training grounds."

"He didn't even count the times you go to the convenience store to buy protein shakes," Jackson chided.

From the outside, he looked genuinely upset that Bambam didn't consider this little fact. But as his best friend, I knew better.

And for the first time in twelve hours, I laughed. "But seriously, you and I as a couple just seems impossible. You have to admit that."

"I don't have to admit anything," he said, his face sobering up enough to let me know he was serious this time. "I've seen people who have everything in common and all the similarities and have zero compatibility. On the flipside, I've seen people with nearly nothing in common or so few similarities it's laughable how they even were put together, but they ooze chemistry."

The way he looked at me was strange. This would mark the second time Jackson attempted to convince me to go along with the plan. And maybe this was working.

"Doesn't that just scream us?" Jackson said with a slight grin. "I can make it work, trust me. Of course, it's up to you whether we go forward from here, but I'd like to have you in on this with me. You're my best friend after all."

I silently nodded because while I didn't have all the faith in the world that Jackson could figure out a way to pull this off, I didn't want to trample all over his pride, especially after the way he defended me against a friend of his.

The afternoon came all too soon. During strength training, Jackson hounded me about coming up with an "origin" story of when I first fell in love with him. I suggested I tell them it was when Hell had it's first hard freeze. He suggested I watch a few Korean dramas to figure it out.  

Youngjae and I were currently at formal suit shop in the heart of Seoul. It was our second time back after I told him none of the suits he picked out looked like it matched his sister's wedding. He disappeared in the back nearly fifteen minutes ago and left me to sit in this small mirrored area alone.  

I couldn’t pinpoint the last time I went shopping. I couldn't even really remember the last thing I bought that wasn't related to working out or fencing. So the level of discomfort was mounting the longer I sat here by myself.  

Unfortunately, having company wasn't such a good idea either.  

"Miss, is there something I can get you? Water perhaps or coffee? Tea?"  

I looked to my right to see a porcelain doll—no, just a woman. Her features were so soft and strange. She didn't seem real. Long brown hair, pale skin that matched her neck and a set of small pink lips. Her nose was long and the bridge was high.  

Nothing was out of place.  

Coughing, I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Thank you though."  

"Are you sure?"  

"Yes."  

"You just seem nervous," she commented, a child-like laugh following her statement. "Most brides-to-be are pretty nervous. I just wanted to see if I could help."  

It didn't make sense as to how she connected the dots on that. How did she think I was a bride-to-be?    

Before I could correct her, Youngjae's head cautiously popped out from around a wall.  

"Y/N, don't laugh at me," he said self-consciously.  

Blinking a couple of times, I smiled. "I won't."  

"You're already starting!"  

"I'm just smiling."  

"You look like a crackhead trying to hold in your laughter."  

"I'm not laugh—look, just come out and let me see the suit," I said, motioning him to come out.  

At this point, I was up on my feet and leaning forward slightly. The woman beside me giggled again. When I turned to her, she seemed to perk up even more.  

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "You both have such great banter. It will make for such a beautiful marriage."  

"What?"  

Youngjae shouted before I could fully work out the question I had. "If it looks stupid, don't say anything."  

"Then why am I here Youngjae?" I asked, feeling my frustration building.    

"I was just saying if it's stupid, don't say it's stupid."  

"Well, with my limited vocabulary and my third grade education, I'm not sure how you expect me to do that."  

The woman laughed even harder, her delicate and tiny hand covering her mouth. And she was definitely another added stressor to this current situation. Her insistence on Youngjae and I being engaged was somehow making me feel like I was being called out for something I didn't do.  

Before the store associate could go into another compliment about Youngjae and me, my phone began to vibrate. My eyes squeezed shut as I read the name on the screen. Fucking hell.  

Telling Youngjae I needed to take the phone call, I headed outside to the storefront.  

"I thought we agreed you would give me 24 hours to come up with a story," I answered immediately after picking up the call.  

I heard him huff out a humorous laugh, "I'm probably going to need your story a little sooner than that."  

"Jackson!"  

"Sorry, but things are changing, rapidly. I want to take you out tonight."  

I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched a couple pass in front of me. Moving backward in the hopes to give them more room on the sidewalk, I sighed. "What do you mean?"  

"I'm taking you out tonight."  

"For what?"  

"A test drive."  

His voice was sure and unwavering and it gave me the impression that there was no real conversation to be had about this.  

"I'm not a sports car Jackson."  

"Never said you were," he replied. I could hear our coach in the background, assisting someone with their equipment from the sound of it. He must've been in practice right now.  

Part of me knew that eventually I would have to stop fighting this. I knew most of my aversion came from the mere idea that Jackson would now have to play the role of my boyfriend, a spot I didn't need him to fill while Mark was still alive. But he was my best friend and he needed the help, and what kind of best friend would I be if I didn't at least try to help? I also owed him one.  

Taking a few beats to gather what little strength I had, I felt myself nod despite Jackson not being able to see it.  

"What do you mean by test drive?"  

"It's a chance for us to test what couple us would look and act like around my friends," he said. "Think of it as a factory reset. This is the way you can start fresh with my group and we can start the groundwork on this thing."  

Another deep breath couldn't calm my frayed nerves enough. "You have a point."  

"Of course I do, I thought this through. Be ready by 5 tonight."  

"Tonight?" I exclaimed loudly. "I have to make up the training I'm missing right now since I'm helping Youngjae. I can't go tonight."  

Marching right along, not even bothering to acknowledge the statement I just made, Jackson rattled off instructions. "Be ready by 5 and meet me right in front of the dorms."  

"What are we doing?"  

"Don't worry about it."  

"Who all will be there?"  

"Don't worry about that either. Just wear something comfortable but cute."  

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 5 "Operation 5 to Stay Alive" - Ali

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158125930181/swap-announcement

ALI

New tribes, new me! So, this tribe is interesting. Its 3 Odysseus people (me, JD and Sam), 3 Olympus people (Logan, Rob and Eddie) and 2 Othrys people (Matthew and Duncan). Trevor warned us about the Olympus clique, so I think it'd be good if us three Odysseus people ally with Duncan and Matthew, and hopefully can gain control. I'm nervous though!

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/9Cp2bQsoSio

Also I just found out that newbie Ryan is irl friends with Logan so he will be first voted out- know that. 

MATTHEW

rain drop

drop top

here are my thoughts on the tribe swap so I really haven't made any confessionals yet in this game and I'm sorry, but the OG Othrys tribe was kinda boring because we slayed so much. I was in an alliance with Ryan, Owen and David, but I really only full trusted Ryan and he's the only one I told about door #9 in the Labyrinth so we'll see if that info stays quiet for a while. However, now that we've swapped, this game has gotten really interesting. At first I was really terrified because I got separated from all of my allies, but now that I've taken the time to talk to everyone and get a sense of the tribe dynamics, I think I'm in a really good position. According to Sam, the only person I really knew at all from this tribe before this game, the Olympus 3 are a really tight alliance and have been friends from a previous game which is always super intimidating. Since those three are voting together, it kinda forces the three Odysseus member to stick together, and that puts Duncan and I in the middle. Duncan is the person I had the worst connection with on my original tribe, so being stuck with him again is both scary and rewarding because it sort of forces us together. Obviously, I trust Sam a ton and I'm really getting along well with Ali, and I think that leaving such a strong alliance in the game isn't the smartest idea in case we just go on an insane losing streak which is VERY possible given how stacked the other tribe is. However, Duncan thinks that trying to work with Eddie/Logan/Rob would be in our best interest because leaving those three in would make them the bigger targets and keep the two of us under the radar, which I agree with to an extent, but I don't get the feeling that the other three would be quick to turn on us if we sided with them. Maybe it's just because I have strong bonds with Sam and Ali, but I really don't want to vote against them. Duncan said he's close with Eddie, so that puts us in a really interesting position. If Duncan and I can't agree with what we want to do, it would tie, and rocks could eventually come into play. AND, we have no idea what the Labyrinth has let loose in this game! There's a lot of interesting factors that have come into play and I'm both super excited and super terrified.

ROB

Swap and I'm with my Olympus peeps? Amazing. I really like the newbies and I hope we can do something with them. I want Sam out, but I do think I'll be screwed. He knows the newbies longer than me. It's going to be a battle.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158127394321/immunity-5

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158215267946/immunity-results

MATTHEW

"i think i was trying to make help" - Samuel Rutan, in defense of his inebriated plan to put a target on Rob's back.

so this challenge is uh...interesting. I've admittedly not had the best attitude about our ability to win challenges because the other tribe is so stacked with people who can dominate, especially at a challenge like this where a lot of them have experience editing videos and stuff and we certainly do not. I think our tribe really lacks a certain cohesion necessary for this, and everyone feels like we don't really have a shot so people are moreso focused on surviving tribal even though we haven't even lost yet. Nobody is really stepping up to the plate. People are saying no ideas without offering anything to replace them, and not explaining why they don't like the ideas in the first place. Our music video really has no direction at the moment and we're just focused on getting it done so we don't look like fools who couldn't even turn in the challenge. The more I talk to people, the more I definitely see myself as a major swing vote this round. I just had a two and a half hour call with Eddie, Logan and Duncan and I really felt like we all bonded a bit. It's nice to just sit back and talk about life shit and boys and not worry about strategy for a while, but you always have to think about how you can use these personal bonds to your advantage. The person I want gone most at this point is Rob, but if that's not going to want to be possible, I need to be proactive in keeping Sam and Ali safe by suggesting JD as an alternate. I think I have a lot of power this round, and I'm going to capitalize on it. I don't care if it puts a target on my back; I've played this game MANY times, and I've learned that you should never miss out on an opportunity to put yourself in the best position possible. It's gonna take some Cirie Fields level misting to get Eddie and Logan on board to go after Rob, but if I can pull it off, I keep everyone on the tribe happy and I still maintain my power next round while getting rid of somebody I have no connections with. It may be ambitious, but ambitious is my middle name. Not really but...it's better than "Fucking".

LOGAN

Literally every confessional has had me saying I want to die or I'm dying in it? i dont understand? ANYWAY. My liver isnt working but we'll get there ig. I'm hoping I can team up with more experienced players and clocc some newbies but i think they are gonna want Rob. I DONT WANT THEM TO WANT ROB. ROB AND LOGAN ARE NED AND SARAH. DO NOT.

EDDIE

Me on call with Rob: what do you think we should do for this first vote Rob: I think we should target duncan. Me: Okay let’s try this again… What do you think we should do for this first vote I’m just going to ask him over and over again until he tells me what I wanna hear which is that we rope in Duncan and take out that snake Sam. Me when I finally get Sam’s blood all over my face, body, and hands: https://secure.static.tumblr.com/9a788ea893dbd408a839201df9d00f17/zytcgar/FT3noeef9/tumblr_static_tumblr_static__640.gif Also Matt and I are bonding on call right now and I’m just thinking about how I want him voted out after Sam https://38.media.tumblr.com/37eccabcb3a37667abaf56a3ae3ac081/tumblr_nh9mgbqDaM1sm1gf4o1_400.gif But like omg I just want sam OUT OF HERE. LIKE GET OUT OF HERE SNAKE. When Duncan wants me to vote out logan or rob if we go to tribal. Duncan: I mean Id tag along but maybe one of them can go first to make people less afraid of you all. Me: https://38.media.tumblr.com/cafd74179121e455c36ecd78471a2010/tumblr_nkpzoyDeZL1uokvyoo1_500.gif I got a lot of tea from my call with duncan last night though. We're snatching Sam and then we're snatching Matt. It's just happening. Matt is in a majority alliance with Ryan and this other guy on whatever tribe they're from I'm sure I look at the name I'll remember who it is so he's on the snatching list. Also Matt will run right to Lydia who I wanted to work with but I no longer think she will work with me. So this is all about lining up all my cannons to take a shot at her at merge. So first we snatch Sam who is probably cool with trevor who is cool with lydia and is super dangerous. And then we snatch matt who will run right to ryan and lydia once merge comes. Duncan also told me he has some cursed idol thingy which is super helpful for the future.

TREVOR

I don't have time for a video confessional this round so here we go. We won immunity which kind of sucks. I was prepared for tribal. I'm blood hungry. My goal was to vote out Other Ryan and hope Scott self votes and gets removed.  Other Ryan has not replied to me the last two times I tried to talk to him. Literally 0 social game.  And he didn't even SHOW UP for the challenge. No participation. No excuse. Nothing. So hopefully we lose the next one so we can cut these people. And then maybe cut Jay O too if we have the time- to spilt up him and Duncan. Looking at the other tribe - as long as Ali, JD, or Sam don't go home it will be good for my game. I really don't care who it is out of the others but preferably one of the Olympus folks. Hopefully my little newbie friends heed my warning about them. I have two alliances going at this point. One with owen and Lydia and another one with those two and RTP. I know I said in my last confessional that RTP can GO but I think I might work with him for a while. I am also making sure I stay tight with David and Jay.  And Isaac is becoming expendable. 

ALI

LITERALLY 2 MINS AFTER DISCUSSING THAT TONIGHT'S VOTE IS SPLIT 4-4. I WON AN EXTRA VOTE IN THE LABYRINTH. WHAT IS GOING ON!!!! DJKSHXDKSJXSNODDHIDBCODNSAKCOAMDPD (removed about 17 lines of this)

ROB

I think I might be screwed, I just have to talk to these people to get out Sam

JD

The swap. I  was okay with it. As far as the four seasons goes, it couldn't have been better. We got slip down the middle and paired up with the one that were most comfortable with. 

I like Eddie and Matt, I was chatting with them but didn't think of it till later that its the same as our memory challenge. And might I add, they both kicked my ass. 

I'm scared of Eddie. I mean he's great and we have great conversations. but like, I looked at another season and he's a huge threat. If I had followed the season before he probably would have been one of my fav players. I think that's what sucks that most about lying to him right now. I have my group and I'm not leaving them but if we had started out on the same tribe I would have loved to have worked with him, should have mutinied. 

ALI!!!! My god like that extra vote couldn't have come at a better time XD 

I hate lying, like really I do, you wouldn't know it though. I put lying and stealing on the same place in the bad space. But here I am, lying, all in the name of a game. I think it's a huge reason why I feel like shit going into this tribal. But I've got a gut feeling that they are trying to put all the votes on Rob and then have him use the idol. Which is a good way to do it but i don't know. It's hard to read people over text. But I think me and Ali are voting for Eddie :/

ROB

I'm in trouble

I love myself

EDDIE

So I just got off call with duncan and basically flipped him back onto playing the idol on a rob and idoling out Sam. How beautifully iconic? I really need to save my gentle bean rob because people keep coming for him and he is smol and needs to be protected. Not only that but Sam is a rat. So it's a win win either way. Matt keeps saying it's about power and that he would want it to be more even on the tribe and I'm just like boiiiii fuck out my face. You're getting snatched next. Like why are you telling me this is about you wanting power on this tribe like WHY. Idk if he trusts me to tell me this but he shouldn't because I used it to go to duncan and say "hey you want rob out but if we vote rob out matt with have all the power. Next round he will be the swing between us and the newbies and that's everything you don't want. So if we can idol out sam then that will take all the power away from matt." And that basically had him shooketh and he immediately was like "ok ok i dont want that ill play the idol on rob". So here we are the idol is being played on rob, Sam is getting slain, and I'm probably going to be in a very good position on this tribe. What else can a boy ask for? A new car that's what. But I don't have the money for that yet so I'll just be happy with me being in a good position on this tribe. Anyway I gotta go back to werk bye.

JD

Okay~~~ So what a cluster. We ended up with like three possibilities. But we all thing that Rob's going to use an idol, so there is no way we're voting him yet. But we want to target the old Olympians. That leaves Eddie and Logan, we really could care less with ones goes but personally Eddie scares me. In the game he scares me, he seems like a sweetheart and all but in game... honey-badger man. 

So, we're all voting for Eddie and in theory (if Duncan is really with them) then it's a 4-4 split. But with Ali's extra vote, we should win 5-4.  Here's hoping because I don't wanna be on the bottom.  

MATTHEW

LOL so this is a #mess. This round started out like I thought. The Odysseus Three set their sights on the least active person, Rob, while the Olympus Three decided to target their old tribemate Sam because they're not sure they could trust him, putting myself and Duncan in the middle. However, things got a bit tricky when Duncan and I had different ideas about what to do. Duncan wanted to stick with the Olympus folks because of his close bond with Eddie, while I thought it made more sense strategically to side with Sam and the newbies. It kinda put us in a weird power struggle where we both knew that letting the other person get their way was giving them all the power. I don't trust Duncan enough to be sure that he wouldn't just ditch me for Eddie if it came down to it, and I'm sure he had the same reservations. Things started to get sketchy for me when I started campaigning against Rob to Duncan because Eddie and Rob immediately messaged me at the same time. Like...way to be subtle, guys. It really made me question where I stood in their eyes, and I wasn't about to put myself at the bottom of a 5 person alliance. I kept trying to convince Duncan that voting out Rob would put us in a powerful position but he didn't seem to want to go for it, and immediately I started playing the defensive. At that point, everyone on their side was acting so sketchy by trying to "play dumb" and downplay their closeness that I knew I needed to stick with Sam, JD and Ali. If it went to rocks...it went to rocks!! However, Ali received a godsend from the Labyrinth in the form of an extra vote, so our foursome is now able to pull off the numbers. Logan, Eddie and Duncan then all said they'd be willing to vote out Rob, but it all seemed a little too easy, especially after how sketchy they've been acting all day. JD and Ali then spearheaded a movement to actually vote for EDDIE in case they decide to play an idol on Rob. It's a huge move, and these newbies are here to play which I love to see, but it definitely scares me how everyone is gonna react next round. Even though Duncan and Logan will probably hate us, it's the best move to ensure our safety and that we can maintain a solid majority for the next few rounds.

ALI

Ugh, I loved our video so much, but Olympus' was amazing too... I mean Trevor waving a knife seductively? Iconic. Anywho, this vote is super complex. I've dubbed it, 'Operation 5 to Stay Alive', but to form this 5 is hard, our tribe dynamics are super complex. I mean, I'm kind of an outsider, and beggars can't be choosers when it comes to these things. Here is my breakdown of tribe dynamics atm: The Olympus 3: Logan and Rob are close, with Eddie with them, but potentially the 3rd? Then, I get the sense that Duncan is close with Logan and Eddie, which is problematic, as I think we should get rid of one of the Olympus people.... Hmmmmmnnnnn. Otherwise, I'm closest with JD and Matt. I'm scared for Sam, in that I'm concerned the Olympus three are gonna target him. I really hope Duncan is up for voting off an Olympus person, it just seems to make the most sense...

SAM

hey i love being on the road and making confessionals! so i lost another music video challenge--i've never outright won one of those before, so i didn't have good vibes coming in. no surprises. duncan and i talked a lot after the challenge about voting out rob and he was very cool about it, stating that he's more closer to eddie and logan. fine. i'm okay. i go to bed. this morning i did that™ on my thermo exam (woot!) and then went to the labyrinth. using my torch i found a bust that looked LIKE IT WAS ONCE WEARING A NECKLACE. damn you, father time. i almost found an idol for the first time in a year. i then found out that the former olympus members want to target me--not a surprise because i dumped their asses, but i really wish i had gotten that idol. what upset me more is that duncan is campaigning for me to leave. he was being suspicious by complimenting my new style of gameplay and such but it did hurt a little after he had said he wanted to work with me this go around. then LATER IN THE DAY ALI TELLS ME HE GOT AN EXTRA VOTE IN THE LABYRINTH so then myself, ali, jd, and matt began scheming for a positive. these newbies are willing to go to war for me , which I LOVE. we need more ferocious players. i'm so impressed. so, we're thinking eddie for tribal because he's the most adept of the bangladesh 3 to do damage, but we might have some more tricks up our sleeves come tribal tonight. ;)

SAM

hi these newbies are willing to go to rocks for me and i've never felt so giddy

JD

OMG! also I just realized that, an hour before tribal, that we planned a blindside! A little slow but yes! Also, Duncan saying that me and Eddie were at work, I don't think I told him that, so there tots working together 

ALI

To clarify how our plan (me, Sam, Matt and JD) for this vote came about. Basically, the tribe was originally seemingly split 4-4 (Logan, Duncan, Eddie and Rob vs the 4 people above). I by some miracle, got an extra vote, saving us from a tie, and thus, we have 5 votes between us. Duncan may've flipped, we don't know, so we've made a majority amongst ourselves, to try and make his vote just seem additional. We are also nervous, as Logan said their casting their 'votes' plural, which could remake it into a tie eeek! :) Who knows, this could be my final tribal! If so, in the words of the legendary Sandra Diaz Twine, 'the queen stays queen, adios!'.

DUNCAN

This vote? A mess?

This idol? A mess?

My future in this game? Probably a mess. Matt summers and I are swing votes and it's ugly because I need to use this idol tonight because I don't want to keep getting disadvantages in challenges. Ummm I'm so sorry Samuel. I'm willing to take a chance on the unknown as oppposed to having a shitty ally again. This could very well be my last confessional. Also I want to shout out my sister Ariel and Mitch! Love ya! *MWAH*

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158247749721/tribal-council-4-othrys