#just me? ok! 🙂
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10 mile bike ride and the 993 song playlist of every song I’ve ever loved 💪 feeling fit and nostalgic
#I’m so sweaty#but I feel great#nonsense!#is anyone else constantly trying to relate every song to touya todoroki?#just me? ok! 🙂#tiffy talks#:p
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assigned depressive borderline at birth 😍
get a totally legit diagnosis here <3
#where tf did sadistic come from hello😭😭😭#ik this dumbass test isnt serious#but fun fact i tried 2 get tested for bpd as a teen on two separate occasions but it didnt even come to it cuz the psychologists were like#nah! u dont have the vibes#& i was like ok😁😊🙂😐🙂what the fuck is wrong w me tho#they didnt offer me any alternative explanations. i think. maybe i just dont remember cuz i cried
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Joe on Ja'Marr buying him a grill and "giving him" a spot on his top 5 most fashionable NFL guys list
#'i'll put ja'marr on that list. i'll give him that'#ok joe ok#still the first guy that pops into your head but hey 🙂🙂#ALSO this is infuriating me#the interviewer says 'you mentioned ja'marr and justin'#i scroll up in the interview in case i somehow missed that#NO WHERE TO BE FOUND#then it says at the top that the interview has been edited for clarity#WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT JUSTIN AND JA'MARR????? YOU CUT IT??? HOW DARE YOU????????#at least we got this though#i hope he still has that grill <3#joe burrow#ja'marr chase#also hell yeah chido and vonn mention#i think every teammate has said they're the most fashionable at this point#(i just doubled check to see if i was going crazy and they spelled vonn's name wrong 😢)
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yea you know fanfics are great to see everyone’s ideas and ways of playing with the source materials. they’re all valid
brain: pjo fics set after tlo where percabeth breaks up
#sorry it’s just um…#DID YOU EVEN RE-#no sorry sorry#pjo#percabeth#or god forbid set after hoh#actually drives me insane like um he fell into literal hell and you think they break up after like OH#ok🙂
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I know someone on tumblr already said this but like
It really is so funny in Tombs of Atuan when Tenar is having a complete fucking breakdown, crying that the gods are dead and Ged is just like
"oh don't worry, they're not dead! In fact they're actively trying to kill me right this very second. 🙂 Hope that helps!"
#their entire dynamic is just so fascinating to me#but i really did laugh out loud.#very serious moment#Tenar's entire life is in shambles#she's having a complete breakdown#and he's just like it's ok 🙂 they definitely exist 🙂 they're just super fucking evil and you really shouldn't worship them okay?? 🙂#Tenar#ged#Earthsea#a wizard of earthsea#ged earthsea#the tombs of atuan
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GUYS LONG HAIR CHRIS CAME IN MY DREAM LAST NIGHT 😭😭😭😭😭
#i was eating at a restaurant with my friends#and him and Scarlett came in and sat on the table next to us 😭😭😭#and yall i swear it was chris exactly how he looked in the video from last night 🥹🥹🥹#like EXACTLY#i was freaking out inwardly#but outwardly trying to act cool and nonchalant#and thinking to myself ‘I need to go up to him after he’s done eating’#anyways bc he was in the table next to us we could literally hear him talking and he was like#‘look at all these young people having fun and being loud 🙂🙂🙂’#and we were like um ok#BUT THEN#my friends all LEFT ME#and went home??#and i was so distraught that i was just crying in the restaurant#but in the back of my mind hoping he’d come up to me to ask me what’s wrong 😜😜😜#BUT HE DID NOT#Scarlett was like what’s wrong#chris was just sitting there on his table like 🙂🙂🙂#BUT HE LOOKED SOOO HOT#the end#well not the end but that was the end of Chris’s part in my dream hahahaha#HE LOOKED SOOOO HOT
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My family has such a special ability to stress me out so bad
#my mom had a minor foot surgery a weekish ago#shes fine but she cant drive herself#she asked me to take her to wallgreens#ok. my sister came for some reason. why ?? just to annoy me#my mom had to critique my driving#my sister is asking for coffee all covert like so as to not ask in front of me but is still obviously asking in front of me#they are talking so much its getting on my nerves. i said im gonna sit in the car for a minute before i go inside#my dad came out???#bc i texted him earlier that i wanted to watch dw#so he told me he's ready to watch it whenever i am#ok. why didnt he just text me#i opened the car door to talk to him#the fricking alarm went off#and i dropped the key under the seat#when i put the key in he was like you could've just turned it on you didn't need to start it#ok!!!!!!!!!#i want to scream!!!!!!!!!#and nothing even that bad happened!!!!!!!!#im still sitting in car . 🙂
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ok i actually did intend to stay in n write tonight BUT i spontaneously agreed to going out n now i’m ig mutuals w someone deep in the music industry i guess !
#— 𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼#lol networking !!!!!!#he kept talking abt himself LOL n i was just like 🙂👍#i don’t want him to dm me tho i’m not into him like that#he pulled up his net worth which is kind of an ick like ok lolz#anywayz its 3 am so i am gonna take off my#makeup n shower n go to sleep !!!
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we had such a nice morning and then dewey guarded a sock from ryker
#dogblr#dog#my dogs#milo#dewey#ryker#ranger#it was still a nice morning i was just 🙂 ok son#that’s mostly what we’ve been working on with the behaviorist#cause dewey would go from 0-100 and just launch at one of the other dogs when guarding#no warning etc etc#im happy to report he now warns before launching like 75% of the time lol#i’ve always said dog-dog guarding doesn’t bother me#(milo does it) cause it’s such a natural behavior. but i at least want the dogs to warn one another and not just. bite#resource guarding is a very corgi problem according to the behaviorist#and i told her i don’t care to extinguish the behavior 🤷🏼 just teach dew he can talk to his brothers in other ways#it’s going well imo#some conditioning training + relaxation protocol are doing wonders (:#he’s going to grow into such a cool dog 😭😭😭😭😭
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i’m beginning to think there’s a kind of indestructibility that comes with the territory of your first heartbreak being from your parents.
like, what are you going to do to hurt me? my superheroes chose religion over me. good try though
#alex talks#not writing#idk how to tag this#parental trauma#toxic family#no contact#if anyone has suggestions for how to better tag this lmk#i was just thinking about how i am relatively unbothered by people hurting me like yes it sucks but is it Worse?#i’ve literally been divorced because the idea of me post Hypothetical top surgery was not worth staying married to#and that was like. ok damn ouch. and it really hurt for a while#but nothing will touch the og hurt!!#(i am thinking about this because i had two facetime calls with my parents in the span of a month#in which it was reiterated that i am an Unreasonable Child for asking that my sexuality and gender id be Acknowledged let alone respected#and that the Love Of God is our example and we can love each other through differences of opinion#finally got to vocalize how hurt i’ve been over the last decade by their bigotry and got Literally ignored)#🙂 (heartbroken)#i’ve been trying to decide whether to even post about this where anybody could see it because it feels very real and raw and scary#but you know what i have no qualms about my own side of this story being public#and i think that if my parents didn’t want to look like villains they should have behaved less villainously#thank u for coming to my ted talk that is all#wait no it isn’t#if you’re reading this and your parents have ever made you feel like who you are is not important: they are NOT always right#you deserve to exist as you are#and that isn’t possible for everyone but it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to take up space#ok that’s it for real
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reached out to a psychologist ✅️
wrote the last therapist i had like ten years ago to send me my patient file ✅️
let's GOOOOO
#i'm actually sooooooo curious what that woman wrote in her files about me because i remember her dismissing anything i said that didn't fit#the diagnosis she wrongfully gave me and me being so confused about what was even happening there because like. the treatment wasn't for me#it didn't fit my symptoms and i kept trying to tell her what's wrong with me but she didn't really listen LMAO#but also i was 13 so i wasn't exactly assertive and kinda just went along with it. perplexed and bewildered.#me: i can't really feel emotions and i don't really think thoughts and i have very limited interests and no friends#her: oh you have a minor depressive episode! i can treat that!#me: i'm not sad tho and i can't feel negative emotions#her: that's not possible tell me more about how you feel sad. where in your body do you feel sad#me: oh ok. in the. sadness area. i guess.#her: what does it feel like#me: ........ sad 🙂#imagine this but we had weekly fucking sessions for months
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i need to go home and bury my head into my pillow
#but i’ll probably just have another drink and watch some youtube#another family dinner went just oh so well 🙂#the longer i’m here the more i end up digging my nails into my legs lol…terribly bad habit that i almost got good at shaking#ok sorry let me tag this#vent
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When your mutuals reblog posts from an account that has you blocked because the op messaged you nonstop in a creepy way and you stopped replying 😂🤣😂
#went to reblog a post#and realized they have me blocked#I should have known when#I stopped getting messages lol#but then again I rarely check#my messages 😬😬😬#usually it’s just predators#that block me 🙃🙂🙃#it’s ok though#cuz I’m not really a whiskey girl#tumblr journaling again lol
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no wayy i got my suit dirty for this
#im at this mid school awards ceremony#im like oh ok im here because im pulling all a's and going to a state scholastic competition for the 1st time in my schools hstory.#i get here i sit down. 'ms. teacher awards this student for Determination and Being Inspired'#kill me#yep just got it for being driven 🙂#the class has 15 people in it it wasnt hard. this is a joke#how did they get 200 nerds here for this shit and not expect one of them (ME) to have to go study for tests tomorrow
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fuck offfff poor audio processing makes ppl flirting with me so stupid they'll be like hey you're pretty and I'll go ah 👍😐. or omg yeah! 🤘 or i just laugh bashfully without even knowing what they said until like a minute later. help help my default responses are making people confused and unsettled. and those are the same responses i give when ppl talk shit about me too it's not good
#ah 👍😐ahaha☺️yeah🙂#met a girl in my childrens lit and bio class who called me beautiful (n) and love (n) and like we have said 2 sentences to each other#i dont thiiiiiiiink it was flirting? but my response was still the 'ok 🙂'#come ON man get it together#the other day the cafeteria guy. oh god the poor cafeteria guy. im so glad he thought i was cute bc i was failing that interaction so so bad#it's actually sickening. just blank staring and hm-whuh?? huh? oh sorry um. [doesnt answer question]#agonizing experience only to get the worst saddest chicken nachos of my life. yhey were so bad#like just staring at him trying to figure out how to ask for food and form sentences for like 40 secs per thing#yk like 4 little tub things. with food and sauces and stuff. head in my hands ughhh embarrassing#not his fault i dont think but somewhere in the middle of that he told me i have a pretty face and i think i just said like#'oh yeah' [actively mid-turn to my friend] [kind of half process it after] 'ahahha aww. thanks! (delayed)'#anyway if i was not mentally tapped out all the live long day a girl telling me 'move over beautiful' woulda like. destroyed me goodstyle#but again it doesnt sink in so like. it didnt. anyway if you're that girl ummm sorry lol not your fault#also your makeup is cool go crazy. if we become friends you will experience this more so. prepare#just. dying. tbf i'd been wandering underprotected in like 12°F weather for 20 minutes so my brain was like. reeling#wuhh-uhbuwhah? wh- ... OH oh yeah uh um like x and y are the (so true) um the. yeah 👍👍#<- average you telling me things irl moment
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lol .
#um . who let me fill out my w-4 by myself .#why did i accidentally say i’m NOT subject to state tax withholding .#filed my taxes & turns out i owe $1000 in state tax bc none of it got taken out of my paychecks all year 🤪#like . lmfao . why is this on me n why did they make it all so misleading like they were actually trying to trip ppl up .#literally like . ok this one is on the govt they should have to just pay that on my behalf bc that …. shouldn’t be my fault#fuck the government fuck taxes fuck all this confusing bullshit like .????????????????????????????????????????#of course i immediately fixed my w4 but now i’m realizing that my paychecks are gonna be smaller now 🥲#& of course i JUST got paid but now that ENTIRE paycheck is going back to the fucking govt#& of course rent is also coming up .#& i don’t get paid again in another 2 weeks haha lol hehe 🙂
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