#just makes me want to bang my head against the wall until i put myself in a coma

[youreorangeyoumoron]

why is talking to doctors...........like this

[revelboo]

Everything Is Alright Megatron is so long suffering sgdjdbdjd i swear at every turn hes kinda like "nevertheless we prevail!" and then some New Shit happens. First he finds out is SiC wants him dead which like isnt NEWS but also like. God when he found that out that must have sucked. Then he found out all the STUPID TODDLERS he apparently has for an army have been going around kidnapping themself some local fauna as pets and hes just like that poor teacher on the fieldtrip like "Class. Class please put the frogs back. PLEASE put the frogs back." and then hes like Fine. Whatever. Keep your pets. and then he finds out his BESTIE is keeping secrets bc hes SHARING a pet with Starscream AND theyre fucking it and hes just like "im going to lose it. im gonna snap. Is this what a stroke feels like??? oh my primus" and THEN he starts catching feelings and hes like "god damn these things are strong with their pheromones" only to be told thats NOT the case and hes just realizing Oh No Im Catching Feelings. And them the object of his affections almost dies, and while reviving it, they get him pregnant LIKE. HES THE ONLY ONE THAT HASNT BANGED THIS HUMAN AND YET HE GOT KNOCKED UP!! And they do it by PASSING their pregancy to him so now HES the Very Disappointed Sire Of Starscream's Sparkling and like. God. Bestie if you weren't preggers Id be giving you wine because oh my god. He's going to like. Handle whatever with Dumbscream and Soundwang and The Alien That Knocked Him Up and then kick em all out so he can have a stressed out "stare at the wall for two hours" moment. God he could have a nuclear level crashout and honestly I'd be like "He deserves this, let it rock, king". I have a meltdown if all the spoons in the house are dirty and I just made myself some ceral like. Babygirl you are so powerful but you do not need to be, indulge in a little meltdown. You're surrounded by clownery and you are but a single ringleader.

It may be the fever, but I saw this and can’t stop wheezing. Yeah, I really have to make up for all the BS I’ve subjected them all to at some point. It will get better. I mean Star and Megs are still going to hate each other, they’re just locked into a permanent stalemate now because they’re fully bonded to the same human.

18+ Mass displaced mechs 🌶️ Future spoilers, I suppose

Everything Is Alright Various Scene Snippets

Megatron

• Servos sliding lazily along your spine before sinking into your hair to cup the back of your head, you make a little noise where you’re sprawled on top of him sleeping. Venting against you to make you yawn and squint up at him. “Five more minutes,” you mumble, cheek against him as you clumsily swat at his hand. Swallowing a laugh, he hooks a servo under your chin to lift it until you give up and splay your little hands on him, pushing up with a little noise.

• Shivering when you realize he’s still inside you, his lips twist into that smug, little smile of his as his servos curl loosely around your throat. “After what you did to me, you think you get to make demands?” He asks and you sigh. Because he’s never letting you live down the fact that you’d sparked him. With Star’s sparkling. “You should be apologizing.” His other big hand grips your hip, those red optics lazily drifting over you when the hand around your neck shifts so his servo can brush your bottom lip.

• Little teeth nip him, before you capture the tip of his servo in that wet mouth, sucking on him as you roll your hips. Optics half shuttered, he vents as you sit up on him, moving against him. Making him remember the way you’d apologized the first time. Looking up at him from between his spread thighs, little, soft fingers stroking his spike before you’d bent over him, mouth moving on him. Servos on your hip flexing as you lift up and then ease down, little tongue sliding against his servo. Groaning as your wet heat grips his spike.

• Sucking on his servo as you roll your hips, feeling his spike stretching and filling you and those optics stare up at you. Content to let you have your way for now. Because this side of him? It’s only yours. Not even Soundwave gets to see those rare, genuine smiles of his. Those are only for you.

Soundwave

• “My sparkling will have a Seeker protoform!” Grimacing, you curl into your blanket hidden inside Soundwave’s cassette compartment. You can still hear Megatron and Starscream arguing, though. Megatron’s deep, rumbling voice too low for you to understand, but you have no doubt he’s goading Star on purpose. You’d already told the warlord the spark is Star’s. He’s just carrying it as messed up as it is. Hear Soundwave rumble around you and feel when he starts walking, apparently deciding this argument isn’t his problem. Even though you probably need to ask to be let out so you can talk Star down instead of allowing Megatron to pick at him.

• Servos pressed over the closed door to his cassette compartment as he leaves Starscream and Megatron to their squabble since it has nothing to do with him. And he knows you’ve already made it clear to Megatron the spark is Star’s and that the Seeker will get his way. He’d swear his old friend just enjoys provoking the SIC. Going about his duties, he’s reassured by the feel of you hidden away and safe within him. Knowing that sooner or later he’ll need to tell the other two that he’d figure out that you can be sparked again since Megatron had taken Star’s sparkling. That he’d sparked you again with his when he’d fully bonded you. It’s not like they haven’t noticed he’s been keeping you inside his cassette compartment where he can better protect you and his young lately, they just haven’t put it together since they’re too busy squabbling with each other. And that’s fine, it gives him more time with you.

Starscream

• “It’s going to be a Seeker,” you reassure him, cupping his face in your hands to press a kiss against his helm. And he shifts against you, cheek brushing yours. “Just like you.” Because it honestly doesn’t matter to you as long as the spark can be transferred safely to the protoform. Know that that spark is still smaller than it should be and that the protoform will be small to accommodate it. That it’ll grow and change with the sparkling, but its base form will be decided at creation. Even though Soundwave had hinted that just because it was a Seeker frame, didn’t mean they couldn’t be surprised down the road. Because you’re never going to hear the end of it if the kid starts favoring Megatron later on.

• Just like him? Why does that almost scare him? Because he’d hated his own carrier. And he’s scared of screwing this up. Of not being able to do this. Lips brushing yours, he tangles his servos in your hair. Because there’s so much he’s worried about, how small and helpless the sparkling will be at first. But he wants this, wants family and home and future, even if it’s all gone sideways and isn’t quite what he’d imagined. Grudgingly finding a new Trine he didn’t even want, bonded to you and through you to Megatron and Soundwave. Knowing that between the three of them, you and his sparkling will be the most fiercely protected beings on Earth. That no threat will come anywhere near his family. And he still hates Megatron, resents him and can never forgive him, but they’re trapped in an unwilling truce because of you.

[augustinewrites]

you should absolutely add naoya to the story!!!! i would LOVE some drama between gojo and that loserrrr i just know they hate each other so MUCH

useful context for this fic can be found in three conditions!

"'salt to taste,'" satoru reads, already confused. "what the hell does that even mean?"

tuesdays are always his day to cook dinner - meaning the second you smell something burning, you kick him out of the kitchen to take over - but you'd left about left twenty minutes ago to pick the kids up from karate, so he's on his own.

shrugging, he pours a questionable amount of salt into the bowl of vegetables he's been attempting to season.

after tossing in the rest of the spices, the next step is to cook over medium-high heat. so he flicks the stove on, leaning against the counter as he waits for the pan to heat up.

that's when a knock sounds at the door.

he doesn't move, hoping whoever it is just gives up and goes away. he wasn't expecting any guests, and the backup food he'd ordered shouldn't be arriving for another half hour.

but whoever it is bangs on the door this time, clearly impatient and wanting to get on his nerves.

huffing, he flicks the stove off and stomps to the door, yanking it open.

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me."

"still as uncouth as ever, i see," naoya zenin scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"and you're still as ugly as i remember," he fires back. "no wait— uglier."

that gets the reaction satoru's hoping for, naoya scowling as he says. "seems the rumours are true. my dear relative's run away to become a gojo whore."

satoru barely manages to keep his hands off the blond's throat, because killing him would start an all out war with the zen'ins, and he isn't ready to make waves (yet).

it wouldn't take much force to just put his head through the wall, would it?

"just tell me what you want so i can say no," he says instead, voice fighting to remain steady.

god, he hates the smug look on his face as he asks, "how much do you want?"

"excuse me?"

"how much do you want," he repeats slowly, as if he were talking to a particularly stupid animal. "for her. and the fushiguro boy."

it takes satoru a moment to realize what exactly he's asking for, the request so outlandish that he can hardly believe it. "how much do i— you're insane."

he goes to slam the door, but naoya is quick to catch it.

"it's only right that they should be with their family, don't you think?"

"and that's you?"

"if we're being sentimental about it, yes."

"well, they're not for sale," he says firmly, removing his sunglasses and tucking them into his pocket. every molecule of restraint is quickly leaving his body. "nor will they ever be. now leave."

stupid as he is, naoya senses the thinly veiled threat and turns on his heel, satoru keeping his eyes trained on him until he disappears down the hall.

_____

"naoya stopped by."

"what did he want?" you ask, lips already pulled down into a frown as you take another dish to dry.

"you and megumi."

"of course he does," you sigh, setting the plate aside and resting your palms on the counter "they want ten shadows."

"what are we going to do?" he asks seriously. "what if next time they don't ask?"

"there's not much we can do right now," you tell him grimly. "it’s the zen’in clan, satoru. we just need to keep our heads down and focus on getting megumi into jujutsu tech. at least he won't be so vulnerable with all of us around—”

“hey, hey,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead to yours. “i’m not going to let anything happen to you both. you know that, right?”

“i know,” you smile, kissing the tip of his nose. “that’s why i’m not suggesting we’ve halfway across the world.”

“that’s not a bad idea. we could move somewhere hot and tropical. i’d get to see you in a swimsuit almost everyday…”

“you’d get sunburnt,” you correct, laughing as he nudges his face into the crook of your neck.

“i’d happily let myself get sunburnt if it meant you were safe,” he murmurs into your skin. “the kids would probably eviscerate me if i let anything happen to you.”

“of course they would. they’d starve otherwise.”

[xmads-omensx]

PART 1

Word Count: 1,602

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader

Content Warnings: enemies to lovers, fake dating, swearing, Noah being an asshole, men being assholes

Tags: @shayeanna-ashlie @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @supersquirrel1996 @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @klutzy-kay24 @heyyoplayer @lacy1986 @collidewiththesav @kenjipepsi1 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chey-h @thisbicc @fadingangelwisp @heyyoplayer

Noah and I hated eachother.

From the moment we met we were at eachother’s throats. We argued constantly, irritated eachother purposefully, made crude jokes about eachother behind the other’s back. It was largely childish behaviour but god did we piss eachother off.

Unfortunately for the both of us, we lived together.

Sure, Jesse and Jolly lived there too,  but it just wasn’t enough to keep away from eachother.

His favourite pastime was to barge into my room and ask if I had any spare toothpaste when I had a guy over, and he had caught me in a few… compromising positions.

My favourite pastime was to bang on his bedroom door when he had a girl over and ask where he wanted me to put his clean underwear, or ask if he had remembered his doctor’s appointment for that ‘weird rash’ he had been complaining about.

He hated me, and I hated him. That’s how we liked it.

Until it all went to shit. Because of Noah… obviously.

After a long day at the studio, the guys had decided that going to a local bar was a well-deserved reward for working so hard.

It was relatively busy in the bar.

A bachelorette party took up the majority of the space. Their laughter loud and cheerful as it bounced off of the walls. Four men sat at the relatively small bar and the booths were almost all taken or were waiting to be cleaned.

We weren’t fussy and took a seat at a booth not too far from the bachelorette party at one of the clean booths. It was a tight squeeze so Folio pulled up a spare chair to sit at the end.

Unfortunately for me, Noah was shoved right up next to me. His strong, tattooed bicep was pushed right up against my own, much smaller one.

I could feel his sneer burning into the side of my head as he crossed his arms, making my space even smaller than it already was. I knew that going to the bathroom or the bar would be a struggle for the rest of the night.

“I’m going to go order, y’all want your usuals?” Matt asked, standing up from where he was sat at the end of the booth.

A chorus of “yep” and “yeah” sounded before Matt turned and headed back to the bar.

Nick followed after Matt, as did Bryan, leaving a slightly looking scared Folio with myself and Noah who were being cautiously watched by the tall Swede.

“What.” Noah said, looking at Jolly expectantly.

“Nothing, just supervising.” He replied with a shrug.

“We don’t need supervising.” Noah snapped.

“Yes you do.” Jolly said with a laugh.

Noah rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.

I stood up, heading to the bathroom before the guys came back, only to be greeted with a scowl from the tattooed man sat beside me.

“What.” He snapped.

“Can I get past please?” I asked.

“Why?” He snarled.

“Noah just let her past dude, you don’t need to be an ass about it. We’re here to have fun.” Jolly sighed, clearly tired of our bullshit.

After what felt like a never-ending stare down between Noah and Jolly, the tall mad swung his long limbs to the side to allow be past him.

The bathroom was peaceful. Quiet. Calm.

Probably since Noah wasn’t there to piss me off.

He was being extra pretentious tonight, even wearing his grillz out to the bar. He looked like an idiot. Hot, but an idiot.

The transition from the quiet bathroom to the loud bar was jarring as I made my way back towards the booth, Folio having waved at me as I exited, signalling that Matt had gotten me my drink.

Suddenly, a hand gripped my arm, pulling me in towards the bar slightly.

“Hey.” A deep, attractive voice growled.

“Hi?” I replied, confused and startled.

“Are you here alone?” He asked. Red flag number one.

“No, I’m with my friends.” I replied, trying to avoid where this conversation would inevitably end up going.

“How about you hang out with me, I’ll buy you a drink.” Red flag number two.

“No thanks, I’m good, my friends are waiting for me.” I replied as kindly as I possibly could.

“Just one drink.” He insisted, pulling me closer to him. Red flag number three.

“She said no, dipshit.” A voice snarled from behind me. Noah

What the fuck was he doing jumping to my defence like that?

“Who might you be?” The man asked, puffing his chest out as if to appear more intimidating.

“I’m her boyfriend.” Noah laughed.

MY WHAT.

I had to steel myself in order to not whip my head around to rip his off of his neck.

The man didn’t reply, but instead nodded and mumbled some sort of apology that I couldn’t quite make out.

Noah simply placed his hands on my shoulders and guided me back to the booth. Unfortunately for me, he didn’t let me sit down, and instead slid into the booth first before pulling me onto his lap.

“Go along with it, princess, he can’t know that we hate eachother.” He said with a smile before kissing my forehead.

I nodded, understanding that we needed to fake it for a little while.

As the night wore on, I began to be more comfortable sitting on Noah’s lap. His chest vibrated behind me as he talked to the others and laughed at what they were saying. His warmth seeped into me and I felt myself leaning back into his touch involuntarily. Almost like it was second nature to me.

His arms circled around my waist and pulled me in closer to his warm torso. His hold on me was secure, warm, safe and I never wanted to leave it.

My hatred toward him and by red hot desire to tear him limb from limb began to dissipate as the night wore on. It felt natural. Like we were made for eachother.

I couldn’t tell if Noah felt the same way about the situation, but based on the fact that I could feel his head move to glance over at the bar, I was fairly certain that he was waiting for the man to leave so that he could get me off of his lap.

The thought hurt me. I wasn’t sure why though. After all, we hated eachother, or at least we were supposed to.

Our hatred for eachother didn’t seem to have any origin. When we first met at a mutual friend’s house party, we got along perfectly fine, but after that we have been at each other’s throats.

Noah just randomly started being a total bitch with no explanation. To his credit, I hadn’t behaved any better than he did.

“What’s this about then?” Jolly finally asked, gesturing at my seat on Noah’s lap.

“Some dude at the bar was being as ass so Noah is pretending to be my boyfriend until he leaves.” I explained, sipping on my coke.

“Yep. As soon as he leaves I will be free from this hell.” He sneered, with a fake smile plastered across his face.

My heart winced at his words. I couldn’t explain it.

Jolly sent me a subtle unapologetic look before jumping back into conversation with the others.

Until Nick spoke up.

“Isn’t that guy at the bar our new merch dude?” Nick asked, gesturing at the bar.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

“Oh yeah. Steven hired him as an extra set of hands, you know how it can get.” Matt explained.

“Fuck.” “Fuck.” Noah and I whispered in unison.

Folio, being the lovable idiot that he is, waved the man over to join us at the booth. Noah and I tried to protest, saying that we didn’t want to intrude on his night, but Folio insisted. Before we knew it, the man that Noah and I were so desperate to be rid of, became a part of our lives for the next few months.

The rest of the night at the bar was spent getting to know the man, who’s name was Alex, as he introduced himself to the rest of us.

Noah pulled my body closer to his own, pressing gentle kisses on my cheek, shoulder and neck whenever he felt that Alex was looking in our direction, desperate to sell the lie that we had started.

“So how long have you two been together?” He asked us.

Noah and I hesitate, briefly looking at eachother before Noah answered.

“About two years, right babe?” He pinched my side gently, urging me to go along with whatever he said.

“Yeah, two amazing years.” I added with a smile.

The rest of the guys had split reactions of confused expressions, or pained attempts to hold back laughter at the thought of Noah and I dating.

Admittedly, the situation was rather hilarious.

The rest of the night continued with pained smiles and forced laughter as Noah and I played into the role of the happy couple.

Alex seemed to have bought it, so we didn’t think too much of it.

Unfortunately for us, we had to commit to our stupid and idiotic lie for even longer. Tour was fast approaching and being around Alex was going to be challenging.

Luckily, we weren’t going to be around him much, so we still had plenty of time to return to hating eachother.

Despite this, I still couldn’t shake that feeling I had at the bar.

Being in Noah’s arms like that felt right.

It felt good.

It felt like home.

[knight-of-flowerss]

BLOOD SACRIFICE

Vampire!Benjicot 'Davos' Blackwood x Septa!Reader

There will be smut so Minors DNI 18+

SNIPPET OF ONE OF THE THREE STORIES!

Synopsis: Many say the church can protect you against evil, that’s a lie. You pray to the Seven for forgiveness and protection, but they do not grant it. The stranger himself gets invited into the church, what will you do when he bears his fangs and gives you the choice between death or lust?

The stained glass shines from the illumination of the moon, the light refracting and casting shadows. My veil covers my hair, billowing down my back and coating the floor in the laced fabric.

My hand clutches my rosary, my mouth moving fast as I mutter prayers to the Seven. There had been talks of a monster amongst us. Murders of young, vulnerable women had become the new town myth, they say a Vampire.

Yes, a Vampire apparently walks amongst us. Ridiculous but precautions must be maintained.

We do not know if the Vampire is tall or short. Young or old. Pretty or ugly. All we know is that there is someone with a bloodlust amongst us.

My prayers are dedicated to the Seven, specifically the Warrior. I prayed to him for protection, to help rid us of this foul disease plaguing the Riverlands.

"I pray to the Warrior for protection and bravery, give me strength and safety and I will forever be in your debt." I mutter, my eyes closed and mind blank, only focusing on the words I’m speaking and which of the Seven I am praying to.

After praying to the Warrior, the Father, Mother, Maiden, the Crone and even the Smith, I go to pray to the Stranger, but something stops me.

I hear a scratch on wood. I stop my prayer for a few seconds, listening to hear. Nothing. So I go back to praying. "I pray to the Stranger-" scratch, scratch, scratch.

I pause, my eyebrows furrowing as I finally open my eyes, moving my eyes around the very empty church, my eyes land on nothing. There is nothing here with me. There must be rats in the wall.

I open my mouth to continue before a loud banging makes me jump and drop my rosary. I look behind me and see the door shake with the sheer force of the knocks.

Once the knocks cease I get the courage to call out in the darkness, "Who comes here at the hour of the wolf?"

Silence. "Answer me!" Silence as well.

I stand up from my sitting position, discarding my rosary as it lays neglected on the floor. I slowly walk towards the large double doors, my bare feet planting on the cold stone.

My body reaches the door, fingers instinctively reaching out and grabbing onto the handle. I go to pull it but I hesitate. What was on the other side? A cat? A person? The killer?…

You only live once, if I am to die then I am to die, it is what the Seven want.

I use a lot of my strength to pull open one of the doors to reveal the cold to the warm.

As my eyes scour as much as the darkness allows me to see. I turn my head right, nothing. I turn my head left, a shadow.

I shriek out of shock, jumping as I look at the body before me. A man. He has scruffy black hair, a cocky grin and a scar above his lip.

"Greetings, Septa." He smirks, enjoying my reaction. Who was this man? "Greetings… how may I help you?…" My tone is sceptical, unsure.

"I need a place to rest until the morrow. Well, it already is, what I mean is when the sun rises." He flashes a charming but cocky smile, stepping slowing infront of me. He was tall and lean, towering over me.

"Of course, you could have just came inside you know? Come, step inside, you are always welcome at the Church." His smile widens and turns into a smirk. His eyes flashing an emotion I cannot put my finger on. But it wasn’t just an emotion. I swear I had saw his deep, dark eyes flash a bright red, but it was dark, the hour of the wolf, I am just tired.

I welcomed the young man inside, smiling politely as I let him in. Shutting the door, I do not realise the danger I face. I have just locked myself in an isolated Church with a Vampire. Gods help me…

Tags: @thethreeeyed-raven @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom

[vlance]

Echo of You

I decided I wanted to be a little angsty today. So I will feed y’all with this, I am not sorry. This is also like 1.3k words.

Silence, the silence was deafening. Standing here, in the exact apartment. The memories echoed. They echoed off the walls, it’s making me go insane. Knowing that right here right now all there is, is an empty shell of something that once was.

Memories of your laughter filled my head. The memory of your smile. The laugh that once made me laugh with you. The smile that once lit up my world and my life.

It’s nowhere to be found. All the memories that were created turned sour. Seeing you as the devil you truly were. The person that was never there to bring me up, but only to tear me down. Break every piece of myself until I couldn’t recognize myself.

The constant banging in my head, wishing that you would just become a memory of the past. But here I am, reminiscing in the memories we once shared.

The early mornings spent together cuddling under the sheets. All the late nights spent talking about our hopes and dreams. The plans we made for the future. Feeling all your love and adoration for me.

Just to see you give all the love and adoration to someone else in the blink of an eye. Realizing you were no longer mine.

Walking through the house seeing all the pictures up on the walls. All the pictures of the good times. It just made me angry. Knowing that in the end you threw all of it away for some fling. For someone that was more fun, for someone that supposedly made you feel free. The memory of the days that led up to that night.

“Wony baby can I use your phone for something really quick, mine died” I looked up at the girl and asked.

“Uh yeah sure hold on” She quickly closes the tab on whatever she was doing. She hesitates on handing her phone to me.

I should have known then. Like a fool I didn’t think anything of it.

“What are you doing baby?” I sat down next to her on the couch and laid my head on her shoulder. She quickly closed the conversation she was having on her phone with someone and put her phone face down on the coffee table. She turned to me and smiled. “Don't worry about it” Smiling as she pats my head.

I should have seen the warning signs. Being blinded by love is one of the worst sins you can participate in. How does someone blind you to the point of no return? They will take and take until you’re left with nothing.

“WHO IS SHE WONYOUNG!” I yelled at her from across the kitchen counter. She just smiled at me and reached her hand across the counter to hold my hand. Gently rubbing her thumb against my knuckles. Quickly soothing my anger.

“She’s just a friend baby. I promise there is nothing between us” Giving me a reassuring smile. Walking over to me to give me a peck on my cheek. “Now I have to go run some errands. I'll be back later okay” She smiled and leff the house.

Should have known all the smiles were just a disguise. They hid the real you. All the reassuring looks were just a way to manipulate me, just like your words.

“I would never do that to you baby, why do you never believe me?” pausing and looking up with anger in her eyes. “Whatever you can believe in me or not I don’t care” She stormed out of the house.

Then it all came crashing down. Tearing out my heart right there and feasting on it. Like wolf, cunning, and deceiving. I believed you for so long.

“Hey did you know your girlfriend is at the bar right now right”

“What do you mean Gaeul? She said she was at Rei’s house” I said confusedly as I paused the movie on the TV. “She said she was gonna be helping her and was gonna be late”

“Dude that’s a complete lie” She scoffed.

“How would you even know this?” I asked the older girl.

“I’m literally staring at her from across the room” Sending me photos to confirm her statement. “What the fuck” I quickly sit up looking at the photos. She’s sitting in a girl's lap wrapping her arms around her as she’s leaning in. In the next photo they are kissing. The same girl she said not to worry about.

So many emotions rushed over me. The main ones being sadness and anger. How could she? Why did she do this to me? So many questions in my head.

“Do you want the address?” Gaeul asked.

“No, I’m going to wait till she gets home” I hung up the phone. I sat there baffled. Wondering so many things. The tears finally start to fall. I kept telling myself how stupid I was for not seeing it sooner. Then it came, the sadness was still there, but was replaced by the most overwhelming anger I have felt in my life.

The fuming anger that filled me. A rage that could not even be put into words. I waited for her, for what seemed like years. The clock on the wall ticking. Every tick just filled me with even more rage. Every passing second, every minute, every hour I sat there waiting.

The anger bubbling in me knowing that she has been out there for almost four hours. It was almost two am when she came back. She walked through the door with a gleaming smile. As if nothing happened. She kicked off her shoes and hung up her coat.

I sat there in the living room waiting, waiting for her to acknowledge me. She walked into the living room. Confused as to why I sat there when I’m usually asleep at this time.

“Where were you?” I lifted my head up to meet her eyes. The fiery anger that burned in my eyes scared her. Her eyes flashed with nervousness for a second. She slowly makes her way over to me. “Is something wrong baby?” She asked, standing over me.

“Answer the question Wonyoung” I tried composing myself to make sure I wouldn't burst out in anger. “Did you forget silly, I was at Jiwons house” She laughs softly. “Don’t lie to me wonyoung” I looked up at her.

“I’m telling you the truth, You see you never believe me” She scoffs. “How insecure can you be Y/N” Anger now rising in her eyes.

“Stop lying” I get up swiftly. “I’ve seen photos, you aren’t as slick as you think” I pushed her chest lightly.

“What is your problem, you're actually sick” She pushes me back lightly. “It over wonyoung, get out” I sat back down.

“Wow over something that you believe is true just like that Y/N” Scoffing I looked at her. “Give it up Wonyoung I have proof” I take my phone out and pass it to her. She pauses not knowing what to say.

“Can you blame me”

“Excuse me”

“I meant what I said”

I rolled my eyes and glared at her. “Don’t look at me like that, you think I actually loved you?” She laughs and pushes back her hair. “Like seriously, you’re a loser, I really just felt bad plus I needed the money”

“You’re honestly so stupid too how could you not see the signs”

“It baffles me how you think someone like me would ever love someone like you” She walks up the stairs. Coming back down with a bag full of her things. I just sat there in my own thoughts

“Look at you, you're honestly so pathetic” and just like that. She was out the door. Never turning back, never an apology, nothing. That’s when the tears fell.

Realizing she never loved me. So many red flags, so many warning signs. They all went over my head. Just like that, it was too good to be true. Now sitting here again three weeks later with the walls still littered with picture frames. The apartment still has that vanilla scent. Still filled with all the little decorations you insisted on putting up. It’s like you were still here, but you weren’t. It was just an echo of you.

I totally have an idea for pt 2 of this with like a little revenge arc

[buckyownsmylife]

Crash & Burn - Chapter 3

The one where Bucky is your father best friend, and the man you want to take your virginity.

Bucky is losing everything: his wife, his business, his house. And when his best friend is too busy to offer him the support he needs, you offer him your ear and shoulder. He wouldn't find it too bad that getting closer to you made him see you with new eyes, if it wasn't for the one thing you asked in return: you want him to be the first man to ever fuck you.

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Bucky? Oh, thank God?” Eyebrows furrowed, I immediately sat up straighter on the bed, instinctively reaching for my car keys once I detected the panic in her voice. “I… I hate to disturb you, I know it’s pretty late but…”

“Text me the address,” I interrupted her, scrambling off the bed and almost falling on my face in the process. I made a mental note - don’t try to put on sweatpants while on the phone with someone, but for now, this would have to do. “Do you want me to stay in line with you while I drive?”

My heart was pounding as I waited for her answer. I could hear the sounds of the party she’d gone to in the distance, but it was muffled - like she was hiding from it behind a door or something.

“I’d like that.” Silently thanking the heavens for her answer, I rushed to get to the house she was in as quickly as possible. I would have trusted her safety if she’d chosen to hang up, but that didn’t mean my mind wouldn’t race. I was used to jumping to the worst conclusions, and this particular situation didn’t exactly help me reason with my anxieties.

A loud crash came from the other line, startling me as I put on my seatbelt. “Are you okay?” It took her a little while and the most adorable giggle preceded her answer.

“Yeah… I just stumbled and fell over a plant. But she’s okay, I guess.” I could just picture her, petting the leaves of the greenery she’d accidentally disturbed. God, she was adorable.

“Are you drunk?” It suddenly occurred to me, and I was already chuckling by the time her “Please, don’t tell my dad” came. “Honey, you’re in grad school. Your dad won’t care if you had a couple of drinks on a Friday night.”

“Oh, right!” Shaking my head, I focused on the intersection I was about to cross while making a mental note to talk to her about how much she drank tomorrow. I really didn’t care about her consuming alcohol - she was a grown-up, after all - but she should never get drunk near people she didn’t trust, and it seemed like this had been precisely what had happened tonight.

“Are you close?” I considered the route the app was showing me.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon.” She seemed to calm down at my answer, but that was only until someone started to bang on the door I assumed behind which she was hiding.

“C’mon, baby! I know you’re in there. Come out, let’s have some fun together.” My palms were sweaty as I gripped the stirring wheel tighter, grinding my teeth at her sharp inhale of breath. I hated that she was scared because of some dumb boy and there was nothing I could do about it…

Yet.

“Hold on…” I muttered under my breath, knowing she’d never heard me over the ruckus he was causing. If only this car could move faster…

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I tried to make myself smaller, hoping the wall would somehow swallow me and hide me from the guy on the other side of the door. If I’d known this is what Peter would become with a few beers in him, I’d never have agreed to come to this party in the first place.

I could already feel a headache forming and I wasn’t looking forward to tomorrow morning. I knew I would wake up hungover and most definitely regretful of every decision that led to this moment, but for now, all I could care about was that Bucky was coming and he’d take me far, far away from this evening and everything that had happened.

“Please, be quick…” I whispered, clutching my phone against my chest as I watched Peter fumble with the knob until suddenly, he stopped.

It all stopped, actually. His yells, the sounds of the music from outside, it all came to a screeching halt and my heart sped up in anticipation as I approached the door with careful steps.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Yep, that was James. Feeling safe enough to open the door now, I unlocked it and spied the outside, finding the party had stopped to watch the much older gentleman who’d suddenly appeared give the owner of the house his ass on a silver platter. “No means fucking no, haven’t you ever learned that?”

He turned around and his eyes met mine, almost as if he’d noticed me staring. But if I was hoping for my presence to ease his anger somewhat, it seemed to have the opposite effect, completely.

“What did he do?” It took a minute for my inebriated mind to make sense of what he was asking, but once I did, I didn’t know how to answer it.

“I can’t repeat the kind of stuff he said.” I shook my head emphatically, refusing to relive the haunting things Peter had whispered in my ear once he’d cornered me into a room. I watched as he had the guts to try to defend himself, only to shut his mouth with a glance from the man in the room.

“I’m not talking to you.” It was all he said, and Peter immediately cowered. A shudder ran down my spine at the roughness in his tone of voice, but I wasn’t scared. “Was it dirty?” Again, it took me a few seconds.

“There’s dirty and then there’s just straight down nasty.” I shrugged, trying to fake nonchalance even though the mere memory of what Peter had said made me want to hide my face behind my hands. But I was an adult - Bucky had said so himself.

I shouldn’t be hiding, so I didn’t.

Bucky leaned closer to Peter, taking advantage of the grip he still had on his shirt. I hadn’t even noticed it until their noses were all but touching. “If I ever even imagine she’s had to put up with any shit from you anymore, I’ll make you wish you were never even born. Got it?”

Oh, wow. That was hot.

I didn’t even notice the giggles all around us - or the frown on Bucky’s face. All I could focus on was how warm his hand felt when it clasped around my wrist, right before he started tugging me towards the exit.

“Let’s go.”

[faketrex]

💥Spite Club, part II💥

@ashesfromashes politely asked what happens next in this story and since I wasn't planning to write any more, I very nearly just typed it out in bullet points as an addendum to the original post... but then I realized that I wanted to write this scene, actually. So! Here's a little follow-up to the Spite Club six-sentence beginning. No sentence limit on this one, I didn't even try to restrain myself.

(Part I of Spite Club is here!)

...

In hindsight, he'll concede that maybe his plans had been a little over-the-top–but holy shit, Henry's plans had been something else entirely, a whole nother fucking level.

"Extreme," Alex gets out between kisses, while Henry's lips are sliding across his chin and his hands–one on Alex's hip, one pressing against his chest–are anchoring him to the cold stone wall of the castle–they're in a literal palace in Edinburgh and a literal prince of England has Alex backed up against a wall and his lips all over him, "fuck, yes, and... um, extravagant, and... and did I say extreme? This feels pretty extreme–"

"Are you protesting," Henry murmurs against the soft skin under the angle of his jaw, "or are you trying to creatively woo me via thesaurus?"

"Shut up and kiss me," Alex retorts, gripping the backs of Henry's shoulders and tilting his face to catch his lips once more.

A minute or ten later, maybe, Henry's hips are grinding against Alex's and he's trying to convince himself to call a time-out before he embarasses himself, when the whole thing comes to a screeching halt: "I've never had someone pursue me via aggressive philanthropy," Henry says in a conversational tone, annoyingly calm even while his cheeks are red and Alex can feel his overheated skin through the fabric under his fingers.

"Pursue–what are you talking about," Alex protests, pulling back and immediately banging his head against something. It at least has the helpful effect of calming him down a bit, kind of. "Fuck, ow–what do you mean, pursuing you, I wasn't pursuing you, I'm pretty sure I was just minding my own business when you seduced me–"

One of Henry's hands comes up to smooth over the back of Alex's head. His fingers card through Alex's hair, probably messing it all up, but it makes warmth spread down Alex's neck and into his shoulders and spine; he leans back into it, Henry's hand cushioning him from the wall. Satisfaction sparkles somewhere in Alex's chest as he notices that Henry's breath is just as shaky as Alex's is.

"I'm... I'm sorry, did you say you weren't pursuing me? Haven't you–"

"Don't get me wrong," Alex interrupts, trying to avoid any potential misunderstandings when they've both been thinking with their dicks, "I'm not opposed to this, not fucking hardly. I just didn't even have a hunch that you might be into guys. Until now, I mean."

The multiple emotions flickering across Henry's face aren't all easy to identify, but Alex can definitely pick up on the last one, the one that stays put: horny confusion. Alex knows it well, today.

"You weren't flirting with me?"

"Well–"

"You tracked my charitable donations and systematically exceeded them by the smallest possible increments for six bloody months!"

"Henry–"

"If you weren't–" Henry shakes his head, almost knocking his nose against Alex's. "By all means, Alex, please do tell me: exactly what point were you trying to prove?"

"Okay," Alex says as the facts slowly line up in his brain, click-click-click like a roller-coaster reaching the top of the big hill, "first of all, I want to repeat myself: this is great, this is awesome, and I absolutely want to do it again when we're not hiding in a stairway. You're, like, offensively hot. But... yeah, my nonprofit is called Spite Club. And I... well, maybe the name kind of speaks for itself?"

Henry huffs a laugh and shakes his head again. "It most certainly does not."

"Ugh." The roller-coaster of logic processing in his brain tips over the peak as Alex finally realizes the worst, most embarrassing thing–and then that he has to admit that same thing to Henry, right now. "I was–I didn't even see it. Can you believe that? All that organizing, all that sleep deprivation, all that paperwork, and I didn't even realize that I was trying to get your attention. And somehow you managed to figure it all out, too. And–ugh," he repeats, "you're going to be right all the goddamn time, aren't you? I can fucking see that already."

The smile on Henry's face is like brilliant sunshine in the grey Scottish winter. "Oh, am I?"

"Yeah," Alex sighs. "But I guess I won't be a sore loser as long as I get to kiss you about it."

"It was all for a good cause, at any rate," Henry says, still smiling.

In Alex's opinion, truer fucking words have never been spoken.

...

(Alex is a sore loser, in fact, but Henry does kiss him anyway.)

[666writingcafe]

Greed (Part One)

Author's Note: Welcome to season two of Nightbringer. Things are about to get real interesting around here.

MC

Barbatos has prepared a bunch of fortune cookies for us as thanks for helping with the final touches of RAD before the opening ceremony. One of them has a coin inside that he swears is lucky, so inevitably Mammon's tearing through them at a pace nearly rivaling Beel's.

Amidst the chaos, I manage to grab a couple cookies and crack them open. The first was empty, but the second...

The glint of the coin catches Mammon's eye, and before I can put it in one of the uniform pockets, he snatches it from my hand. Once the others catch on to what just happen, they begin berating Mammon for stealing from me. He then protests, claiming that the coin is his and that he's not going to give it to anyone else, not even to me.

But the sound of everyone's voices gets drowned out by the one inside my head. Yes, it's irritating that Mammon yanked the coin right out of my hand instead of asking if he could have it or, at the very least, take a closer look at it before giving it back to me. In that regard, it makes sense that I feel upset.

But not this upset. At the end of the day, it's just a coin. I'm sure Barbatos could find another one if I asked him to. There's no need to fight Mammon over it, and yet the urge to do so grows exponentially greater with each passing second. It's my coin, not his.

I quietly excuse myself and walk out of the castle's parlor to a spot in the less noisy hallway. Once I've sat down on the ground, I close my eyes and try one of the meditation exercises I was taught so long ago in order to clear my mind. As the brother's attendant, it would be highly improper for me to cause or add onto a scene, and I'm not about to embarrass myself in front of everybody by exploding at Mammon.

"MC?" Satan's voice cuts through the relative silence. "Is everything okay?" Keeping my eyes closed, I shake my head.

"Do you want to talk about it, or do you need to be left alone?" He probably felt my anger drastically spike and decided to check in on me, which I do appreciate. It shows that he's taking some of our lessons to heart and wanting to help others navigate through their wrath. Even if it's just me he's doing this with, it's a start.

"I'll be okay in a few minutes," I respond. "I just needed to get away from--"

"As long as I have this coin, the money's gonna come rolling in. Piles and piles of sweet, sweet money!" Great. Just great. "C'mon world, bring on the good luck! Hit me with that cold hard cash! Gobs and gobs of moolah, rainin' down on the Great Mammon!"

Whatever anger I'd managed to dissipate comes back ten-fold, and I can't decide whether to bang my head against a wall or to lunge at Mammon, demanding he give me back my coin.

Or worse.

"Give me your hand." Lucifer's stern enough that I'm able to follow his simple command. I find myself squeezing his hand as soon as I'm back on my feet, and the momentarily pained look in his eyes suggests that I'm causing him some discomfort. However, he seems to take it in stride, for he doesn't say anything about it as we begin walking.

At first, we're keeping up with the other brothers as we leave the castle behind, but then we approach a fork in the road. They go one way, and we go the other.

"They'll be fine," he explains once we've put some distance between us and them. He must have caught the confused look on my face but didn't want to tip off the others. "At least for a little bit. Satan's in charge until I return from dropping you off at the cabin. Consider this a mandatory vacation from work."

"But--"

"I will ensure that your duties are covered in your absence, but this is not up for debate." Abruptly stopping, he lets go of my hand, only to turn around and put both of his hands on my shoulders so that he's looking directly at me.

"Please understand that I'm not doing this to punish you, MC." His voice has gotten softer. "I know you were trying your best to maintain control, and I appreciate you resisting the urge to attack my brother. However, you were very close to snapping, and I don't know what would have happened if I didn't step in when I did." He sighs, briefly glancing down at the ground.

"I care about you and want to keep you safe. I don't know why this is happening to you, but I can at least ensure some amount of protection if you're staying with Solomon. That won't be the case at the House, especially if these outbursts keep happening."

I don't remember where or when I read this, but freshly-born demons go through something similar to a human's puberty, except most of it occurs on a magical level. So, Lucifer's concern is valid, because if this is them going through their puberty, it's going to be very difficult for them given their status as Avatars of Sin. The last thing anyone needs is for me to get caught in the crossfires of that.

After all, I can't return to my timeline if I wind up dead in this one.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @budbuddnbuddy

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

i am sat here, irritated and disoriented. it is as if there is a literal fog in my brain. i don’t know to describe it in words. it’s been like this all day. i want to be far, far away from here; in fact maybe i’d be better off with disappearing completely.

i feel as if everything may be crashing and burning in real time. i wouldn’t be surprised if i just end up exactly where i was in june/july. there’s not much i can really do; everything i’m feeling turns into a purely one-dimensional anger more and more often, and i feel as if i’ll just end up regressing back into that point once more.

i want to bang my head against the wall as far as i can until everything comes out. at this point i can’t even write this is one sitting because of how many thoughts i have racing through my head

a mere video of an animal will show up on my phone, and a single tear will run down my face. it just happens. i must be much less in control of my own emotions than i used to be. i was never an extraordinarily emotional person in the past, not at all.

and now EVERYTHING is fucked up. i feel uncomfortable and disturbed around my own family and in spaces where i need to be focused. how long until this genuinely consumes everything? has it already? my head hurts.

at this point it’s like. i’m NOT these things, yet i’m ready to run away from everything, including the things that i enjoy, because there’s a non-zero chance that i actually am these things.

i might have to quit making these soon. maybe it’s because i don’t have anything else good to say. maybe it’s because i can’t sit down and write about my thoughts anymore: there’s far too many. i think if i left, that would just be it for me. i am literally so willing to detach myself from EVERYTHING related to this sort of thing; i’m just waiting for a moment where i ACTUALLY do it now.

i have never felt more human than in these moments, and it is utterly harrowing.

these things are out of my control; so it doesn’t matter which approach i take regarding them. so, i want to go. i want to disappear. to be put away. to be taken out. to be gone

[the-sonic-crew]

Tw sewer slide and stuff like that mentioned

Im a child….

Im a lost child who needs guidance and help who doesn’t understand the world, or how it works, im a child that doesn’t know what to do, im a child who still needs love and attention, im a child who has dreams and goals, im a child who still has imaginary friends….

“You are 18, an adult now you gotta learn to do adult things..”

im a child who grew up too fast at a very young age, im a child who was told to act my age from the ripe age of 10 im a child who was actually raised by parents, im a child who lost the only person who saw that, im a child who lost their best friend, im a child who lost everything, im a child who learned masking, im a child who stopped talking as much, im a child who isnt taken seriously, im a child who wants kid toys, im a child who doesn’t want to grow up, im a child that has mental issues, im a child that refuses to ask for help, im a child that is constantly pushed to their limits…

“Your an adult” they say

Im a child that lost hope in humanity, im a child that needs assistance, im a child that has a learning disability, im a child who hates talking, im a child, im a child…..

Im a child i scream in my head as i smile at the people in my growing adult body who says im not…

Im an adult now, i say to those around me…

Im an adult, i say as my inner child wants to play, im an adult who needs comfort, im an adult who isnt taken seriously, im an adult who is seen as childish, im an adult child who wants to be seen as who i am….

Im a child stuck in an adults body…..

Im a child who was never taught how the world works, im a child who grew up in the internet…. Im a child who needs a hug im a child who listens to music to escape reality…. Im a child who wants to put themselves into the mental hospital themselves….

Im a child i say to no one, im a child i scream in darkness, im a child who needs were never met until teenage years…. Im a child i say as im in tears…..

Im a child who has vented to strangers on the internet because trusting people online with my problems helped me better than being yelled at to open up when I didn’t want to at that time knowing it could have hurt her…. Im a child who just wants a friend forever im a child…. No im not a child…

Im just childish for not growing up faster when they wanted me to…

Im an adult who gave up at the age of 9 im a child who had begged to god to take my happiness away and give it to my mother at the ripe age of 10 im a child i say to myself in tears on my bed….

Im a child who is slowly giving up their dreams and life goal, a child who wants to join their grandma…. A child who is having a hard time and a child who is having trouble expressing themself without hearing “stop acting like a damn 2 year old”….

Im a child who had written 20 sewer slide notea…. Im a child who had a kitchen knife at their gut, im a child who tried stabbing themselves…

Im a child who held their throat hoping to stop breathing…. Im a child who would bang their head against the wall, im a child who hates every past, present, and future act i make….

I am a child….. who wants nothing more than to stop living….

Im a child who just needs a hug away from reality….

I should go to bed :(

I'm sorry kid, c'mere

Sonic gives you gentle hug, rubbing your back and resting his chin on your shoulder. He smells like old spice and his fur is soft and fuzzy from a shower.

I think you should get some sleep kiddo

[aurorafables]

From the Grey, Chapter 1.

Let's get is started. :) I'm very excited, and I hope you will like it bc I loved to write it.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Nicholas Ruffilo

Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Angst, Past character death, Suicidal thoughts

Tags: M/M, Slow burn, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Family drama, Band fic

Word Count: 4.2k

Cross-posted: AO3

Author's note: This was originally written in Hungarian, and I'm still looking for a proofreader, so please forgive me the mistakes, strange expressions. Hope it's still enjoyable. Let me know, what do you think. :) Also let me know if you want to be tagged in the upcoming parts :)

Summary: In Noah's life, his best friend was the light, the way out of the abuse he suffered at home. After a childhood full of trauma, in which he was stripped of his wings so many times, he moves in with Nick, whose goal is to let him fly. The band, Bad Omens, led by Noah, begins to soar, which brings at least as many problems as joy. As teenagers grow into men, Noah and Nick drift closer and closer to each other, and the boundaries of friendship and love completely merge.

Chapter 1.

It would be difficult to say exactly when it started. It was as if the dynamic between the two of us had completely changed without being noticed. I could compare it to when I'm doing a tattoo and I want to create a nice color gradient to make the design look as realistic as possible. The point is that you can't tell where one color ends and the other color begins. Even between us, the transition from wanting to hug him in a friendly way to kissing him passionately was imperceptible.

Maybe I woke up like that one day, but it's also possible that the desire had been brewing in me for weeks, months, years, I just blocked it deep down. And what if I felt that little spark the first time we met, but I was still almost a child and couldn't identify it? I have to start this story somewhere. And like most fairy tales, it didn't start well. The mood of the whole band was cast by melancholy over the loss of a friend. But like all dead artists, Keaton remained immortal. His voice will live forever on the records, despite the fact that he was not with us anymore. The music of Too Close To Touch mingled with the cohesive low murmur of the crowd outside in the club's concert hall, where Keaton's vocals echoed painfully through the walls. "Death is not a game with the ones I hold close She was mine, mine, you can't deny Three years is too quick to die"* All his anger, all his pain were in the song he wrote about his little sister, who died lying on a hospital bed. In the text, he blamed God for choosing little Eiley over him. The poor boy had no idea at the time that they were both chosen… Personally, I would have liked to break something if I remembered that he was gone now, and I could only reassure myself that maybe they were already up there together. If it even exists up there. Because what if up there is actually only two meters underground?

The song didn't come at the best moment, because we had to go on stage right after, and I might be able to hide my mood in front of the audience… I glanced at Noah and my heart sank when I saw him banging his head against the wall, clutching the microphone in his hand, next to the stage, which we will soon have to walk up to. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, which I completely forgot to do in parallel. I was so worried about him. I knew he'd hate himself for that if his voice cracked while singing the opening lines of The Death Of Peace Of Mind. His maximalism was what he could torture himself with the most. Also, he had to be up there alone at the beginning of the song, we didn't join until later. I walked to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder, but I still managed to scare him a little because he pulled away before he opened his eyes. When he saw me, he almost snuggled back into my hand. It reminded me of my very first cat, the little black ball of fur I found on the street when I was barely ten. I named him Dusk because of his color and when he came to us I did everything I could to fatten him up. We slept together in my bed at night, because his soft purr always lulled me to sleep quickly. It was amazing how much Dusk and Noah were alike. Even in the semi-darkness next to the stage, my best friend's dark brown eyes glistened with unshed tears, which he tried to quickly blink away. His shoulders slumped forward in the thin linen jacket, and I'd bet his fingers were white under the faux-leather glove he wore on his left hand, clutching the microphone like a lifeline. He and Keaton were very close. In the last two years, they spent a lot of time together, especially during and after the Covid epidemic, when it was possible to travel. Even when they were far away, they kept in touch on a daily basis. Keaton was good with all of us, but he had a stronger bond with Noah. He wanted to remember him by playing their songs during the break after our opening band, but Eiley's song has never come at such a bad time.

“We can extend the time for five more minutes,” I told him, and meanwhile I looked back at Jolly, who was still fiddling with his headphones with the help of a sound technician, and Folio was deep in his own thoughts drumming on the wall, sometimes doing shoulder circles as a warm-up. "Everything's fine," Noah replied in a weak voice, to which I nodded hesitantly, lowered my hand, and took a step back. "I'm worthless to the world You're innocent and pure God, why didn't you choose me over her?”* They signaled to Noah, who gave a thumbs up as if everything was fine. Nonsense. I knew nothing was okay. Keaton's voice faded outside and soon the intro to our song began. I looked down at my guitar and after stretching my fingers I strummed a few chords just to pass the time. When Noah walked out and the crowd cheered, he wasn't as lost as he had been two minutes ago. He immediately filled the stage and sang like a fucking siren without faltering. I shook my head, feeling a little angry at myself for constantly underestimating him. It was about time to get used to that Noah wasn't ruined by all the crap that happened around him. On the contrary, it only strengthened him even more.

Two months later, I was sitting on the steps of the tour bus in Phoenix, beer in one hand and a half-smoked cigarette in the other, when I heard Noah's footsteps behind me. After a concert he liked to clear his head, so I thought he was going for his usual walk and I thought that I could join. I stood up to let him go, and when he stepped next to me, I was hit by the smell of his perfume. He had just stuffed his wallet into the back pocket of his pants, so I began to suspect that he had other plans for that evening. “Karin is in the city,” he said to me, but he didn't look at me, just watched the night lights. The blue neon lights of the bar glistened on the brunette's hair, and the tattoos running down his arms coiled around his skin like snakes. I thought I still had time. I thought I could figure something out before they met again in Salt Lake City. I blew out the last of the smoke, extinguished the butt, then slipped out of my denim jacket and held it out to him. “We will leave in the morning, be here by then.” Noah hesitantly took my jacket and looked at me. “That's it?” he asked in disbelief. I don't know what he expected. Maybe to remind him again that woman is crazy like hell? "I'm tired," I confessed to him. ”I can't save you from someone whose arms you keep running into. But I can do something to save you from catching a cold,” I gestured towards the jacket. He still didn't move, even though the situation was becoming more and more pressing for me, and the spring night wasn't nearly warm enough to keep me from getting goosebumps. I wrapped my arms around myself and hobbled in place. I kicked small stones with my boots on the asphalt of the parking lot and waited. I didn't care if I froze there, I wouldn't leave Noah alone as long as he needed me. The boys' laughter could be heard from inside the bus, a car honked on the street not far from us. I raised my head and immediately met a pair of dark eyes. Stared. I don't know how long or why. I swear he didn't even blink. Then he reached out and touched my arm under the sleeve of my shirt. “You are cold.” I blinked a few times, then started to move. I took the jacket from his hands and draped it over his shoulders. “But you don't have to be cold,” I answered him with an encouraging smile. “Everything will be okay. I will be okay,” he said quietly and gloomily. I don't know which of us he wanted to convince with this, but it didn't work. The smile immediately melted off my face. “Noah…” It's been a long time since my voice sounded so desperate when I said his name. I think all my fear must have been on my face because Noah took a step back and shook his head. I was ready to try again to get him to stay. We could have done so many things. From walking to sitting down to play video games with the boys. Or we could have gone to a nightclub to drink and to flirt with girls. Whatever, just don't let that cunt touch him again… He brushed his hair back and shrugged as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I have to go, Nick. We will talk in the morning.” And that was it. There was nothing I could do to keep him there.

I got home from the tattoo salon late that night and was so tired that all I could think about was my bed. But as soon as I stepped through the door, the strong smell of weed hit me. It went through the small apartment so intensely that I almost got sick of it. "Shit," I muttered to myself as I kicked off my shoes, dropped my bag on the floor, and headed for the bedroom with the goal of scolding Noah. The door was not locked on the little hole we called the bedroom, which was completely filled with my bed and the mattress that Noah had been sleeping on for months. When I entered, he was sitting on the bed, knees pulled up to his chin, and he was holding a weed cigarette between his long, thin fingers. As if he had completely forgotten about it, the ash fell onto my blanket and I was amazed that it hadn't caught fire yet. Noah didn't even notice I got home because he was listening to music on his earphones, and I was sure he was just physically in the room by the way he looked. I leaned towards him, took the cigarette from his fingers and crushed it in the ashtray. With that, I finally drew attention to myself, because after he looked up at me tensely, with red eyes. The Asian features of his face came to life, which normally I would have stared in fascination, but this was not a normal case. I forgot I wanted to yell at him for wasting the weed and almost setting our apartment on fire. Because by then we both owned that little flat. In the corner, next to my guitar, there was also his. Noah's things appeared in the bathroom, his shampoo, his toothbrush, he got half of my wardrobe and sometimes half of my bed… His clothes were just as messily scattered as mine, and he already had his favorite mug, from which he preferred to sip his coffee in the morning. I wanted to think that his eyes were red from smoking weed, but when he spoke, I had no doubt that he must have been crying for hours.

"I thought you'd come home earlier today," he said in a nasal tone after stopping the music and taking out his earphones. In the meantime, I opened the window without holding him responsible for why he did not do so. “I thought so too,” I answered him, then I fell down on the bed next to him. ”Another guest came at seven, and thought I would do miracles in two hours with an old, messed-up tattoo.” Noah nodded, then slowly stretched out his infinite legs. He was only sixteen then, but already a little taller than me. We sat speechless for a while and looked at each other. I was even more overcome by fatigue, and for a moment my eyes were probably closed too long while blinking, because I was jolted when Noah moved next to me. He took a deep breath, then let it out shakily. Our tattooed arms touched and I could feel the tremors running through his bones as he reached for his phone. Oh my god, he was so skinny. If I touched his arms, I was afraid I would crush him as if his limbs were made of thin glass fibers. “I got a message,” he whispered into the dimness, then put the phone on my thigh. I picked it up with a scared heart and started reading. I had a guess of what it might be, and honestly… I just didn't understand why it didn't come sooner. At first, Noah's mother tried to lure her son back to her side with sweet, but poisoned words, which in the end turned into mere threats. Every fucking word she wrote made me feel nauseous. “After half a year, she remembered that she had an underage son. Maybe she expects some kind of reward for it?” I asked, but mostly I meant it as a poetic question.

Noah tensed up next to me and started breathing faster. “I… I can't go back there. If… if you say I have to go back to her, I… rather… I…” "Hey Noah, I would never say that," I turned to him and tried to speak in the most soothing voice possible. But I was too late… By that time, tears were already falling, and he was clutching the crumpled bottom of his two-size-larger shirt. I was totally in shock because I had never seen anything like this before. What kind of friend is who doesn't recognize that the problem is so big? Noah was an old soul with a lot of shit and loss behind him, who blended in perfectly with the adults, so I tended to forget that he was still just a kid. But now there was a child next to me who was terrified. Whom fear brought out the worst. "I shouldn't be here," he said between sobs, to which I shook my head so fast that my hair hit my cheek. I knelt on the bed, turned to face him and tried to remove his fingers from his clothes. I just wanted to hold his hand… I just wanted him to know I was with him. “Noah…No! Don't tell me this!” I protested loudly, but he didn't listen to me. It's like he didn't even hear what I said. Instead, he drove himself deeper and deeper into madness. “I should have died a long time ago…years ago.” If he had only stabbed a dagger into my stomach with his words, this was the moment he twisted it. My chest felt tight and I couldn't breathe. Noah snapped his head back hard and his skull hit the wall loudly. After that, I couldn't focus on my own panic anymore, without thinking I put my hand on his head to protect him from himself. I didn't care that I might not be able to tattoo. My fingers ached as they met the hard wall, but I didn't really notice the pain. All I cared about was Noah and how I could keep him safe. I've been trying to figure out how to fix this. His cries and animalistic whining still ring in my ears, mixed with the sound of my heart's frantic beating. I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him close as he just cried and cried, his tears completely soaking my shirt. He was hugging my thighs as I knelt next to him, finally not wanting to hurt himself anymore.

That night, I only left his side when I brought him water from the kitchen. Then we both got into bed and Noah turned to face me, but half of his red face from crying was hidden in the pillow and the other half was covered by his hair. I quickly got rid of my tight jeans, threw them on the side of the bed and took his phone in my hand. He was watching what I was doing, but he didn't speak. First, without any guilt, I deleted his mother's message, then opened his music. It didn't surprise me that he was listening to Castle Of Glass by Linkin Park when I got home. I flipped through the playlist and started our favorite song As Cities Burn after giving him one of the earbuds. "Won't you come down, heaven. Won't you come down? Won't you cut through the clouds? Won't you come down?”** At the first chorus, he already closed his eyes, and only then did I allow myself to relax a little. I carefully reached towards him, smoothed the strands falling from his face behind his ears, and then I closed my eyes too. I begged myself to fall into a dreamless sleep. In the morning, when we woke up, Noah helped me untangle the earbuds’ cord from my hair. We parted laughing, shoving a piece of toast into our mouths. He went to a band rehearsal, and I went to a place that has become my second home, the tattoo salon. My fingers got away with it quite well, with a small bruise on one of the joints, which only started to hurt a little towards the end of the day. We didn't discuss anything else about that night. Maybe I regret it since then, but what can I say? I was just a scared kid too, too stupid to help his friend more. Noah's mother died less than two months later. I didn't feel for a minute that she was a loss to the world.

He has become a grown man since and he doesn't need me to protect him from the world. I watched motionless as he walked down the street to get into a taxi. His tall, thin figure disappeared around the corner and I could finally get my legs moving. I got on the bus, grabbed a new bottle of beer from the fridge and joined the others. Folio showed Matt some funny videos and Jolly typed a message on his phone. I sat next to him on the couch and started reading the news. "He won't be able to do this for long," said Jolly next to me in a strong Swedish accent. When it was late and he was tired, he didn't pay so much attention to speaking English with perfect pronunciation. But there's nothing wrong with that, we've been working together for so long, and we've been friends for so long that we understand each other with half a word. “What do you mean?” I turned to him. I slipped out of my boots, slid off the couch, and put my feet up on the small table. I rested my head on the backrest and wiped the steam from the side of the glass with my thumb. “For Noah's secret night meetings. Matt had told him before when saw that he wanted to go out on the town all by himself.” “It doesn't happen that often. And it's not a secret where he's going, he told me he was meeting Karin,” I took him to my defense immediately. “Anyway, why can't he go? The fans had left for an hour, no one was out there. And it's not that he hit the town on foot. He called a taxi.” “That girl is strange,” Jolly grimaced. You do not say.. “When she came to our place, Noah wasn't quite himself.” Recently, I felt guilty for not trying to stop him more firmly, but I reminded myself: Noah pointed out rather angrily during an argument about this that I can't protect him from everything. "If a little fuck puts him in a better mood, we're all fine with that," Folio interjected when Matt left us alone. Maybe I gave him a nasty look from behind my beer bottle, because he held his hands up defensively. I took another sip, then realized I didn't even want the beer. I put the bottle on the table, brushed my teeth in our small bathroom, and went to sleep. At least I wanted to sleep, but I must have been tossing and turning for another hour.

It felt like I had barely closed my eyes when something started to tingle my nose. I brushed it off at first, but then Noah's soft chuckle crept into my consciousness. I groaned then pulled the pillow over my head planning to go back to sleep. I kicked the blanket off because I was hot, and it turned out, it was a big mistake. Ice cold fingers touched my side, the muscles in my stomach jumped and I let out a muffled moan. “Fuck me!” I grumbled hoarsely as I caught Noah's hand, who was just putting the other one in front of my mouth. "Shh, the others are still sleeping," he whispered excitedly with sparkling eyes. “I want to sleep too,” I answered after pulling his hand away from my mouth. “Come on, Nick. I'm hungry. I want breakfast.” “Why can’t you eat?” “Missing your company.” I sighed. “Go to the kitchen. Give me five minutes and I'll be there.” "If I leave you here, you'll go back to sleep," he said accusingly, as if he had every right not to let me go back to sleep. “And I would go a little further for breakfast than the bus kitchen. But I promise, it's worth it. You will love the place.” Another sigh, but I sat up with half-closed eyes, then pulled on a pair of pants and a thick hoodie. My jacket was still on him and he didn't seem like he wanted to give it back.

After five minutes, Noah got off the bus energetically, and I, wrapped in my hoodie, got off the bus grumpily. It was just dawn, around half past six. Noah finally slowed his steps and stopped in front of me, facing me. My hair would have been a complete disaster, not to mention the pillow creases on my face, or my eyes, which I could barely keep open. "You're sweet when you are sleepy," he said finally. He looked at me with a smile, then pulled the hood over my head and did the same with his own. ”I don't want to be recognized.” “Come on! Who would be awake this early?” I asked sarcastically, yawning into my palm. We walked down the street and luckily he was right, we really didn't have to walk far before we got to the breakfast place. Too tired to read the sign, I just entered the small but friendly coffee shop and sighed as I was greeted by a pleasant warmth inside. I said hello to the gray lady behind the counter. When I saw the first cat, licking its paws on a chair, I turned to Noah questioningly, who just shrugged. "I thought you missed your little monsters," he said. A big smile spread across my face. A cat café. I was already less sleepy when I crouched next to the kitten and let him sniff my hand. Then I noticed even more hairballs and I didn't even know which one to go to. Meanwhile, Noah ordered us coffee and breakfast at the counter. I heard the old lady laughingly answer him when asked why they were open so early: “If the kittens wake up, why can't I open the cafe?”

I smiled as I scratched the head of a calico sitting next to the wall, and we blinked at each other for a long time. After ordering, Noah came over and sat next to me. "The chick likes you," he remarked when the kitten was placed on my lap. “What kind of chick? She is a lady here,” I caressed the hairy ears. Laughing softly, Noah leaned forward and, using the kitten etiquette he'd learned from me, introduced himself to our newest friend before petting her. Now that the hood was off his head, I noticed the bite marks on his neck. The dark red spot was located right on the border between his tattoo and his bare skin so that it was just noticeable. I swallowed, tore my gaze from his neck, and reassured myself that Noah didn't seem as lost now as he did after most of his meetings with Karin. Maybe she has changed. Maybe she finally realized what she had to lose? Noah's fingers accidentally touched mine in the kitten's soft fur, and we smiled at each other as the furball began to purr loudly. I haven't seen Noah this happy since before Keaton's death. Maybe Karin isn't so bad after all? We ate breakfast sitting on the floor with a cat each in our laps and had to run back to the bus before departure.

*Too Close To Touch - Eiley **As Cities Burn - Contact

[starsofang]

Oh.

What is wrong with you??? IM SCREAMING?? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT😭😭😭😭 This is all meant in a amazing way I swear. Why would you put this amazing fanfiction on my screen at 5:30pm? I’m literally going to fucking scream this was so freaking awesome?

Okay. Okay. So first off, Ghost??? Apologizing??? I think I might be imagining things, that’s so? It was so fucking cute and like—weird. If that makes any sense. Ghost is just emotionally constipated and it’s very funny. He shows his feelings in a different way and I think it’s so amazing to see the progress.

John. Fucking. Price. I thought about killing him after he continued to say: Medic. Like, sir, who are you talking to?? But he made up for it. That was so fucking sweet in his own fucked up way that I can’t really blame him anymore.

THE PROPHECY. I WANT TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOYT MY THEORIES BUT ILL MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF.

I’m gonna go bang my head against a wall until the next chapter come out!! <33

the fact that the moment i posted the new chapter, i was patiently waiting for your response 😭 its the highlight of my week every time i post istg

ghost has a loooot of lore we’re going to get into that i’m extremely excited for 🤫 yall have no idea how hype i am for when the big plot line starts to happen omg

I KNOW PRICE HAD ME ANGRY, initially i wasnt gonna make this his redemption arc yet but he was pissing me off so bad that i had to make it happen. the original post wasn’t even including their conversation in the last section but i went in last minute and was like no, it needs to happen because i cant keep making this man a villain even tho he kind of is rn

ID LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THEORIES PLEASE I GET SO EXCITED WHEN I SEE PEOPLE IN THE REPLIES TALKING ABOUT THEIR GUESSES AND WHAT THEY THINK SO PLEASE SHARE THEM, I LOVE HEARING IT

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Betrayal's Bond | An Uchiha Brother's Series | Teaser

Summary: You've been tasked with finding the team of jonin that went missing on their mission to the village hidden in the stars but what happens when you take one Uchiha brother to look for the other? Pairing: Tsundere Sasuke x female!oc x Itachi (love triangle) Word Count: 1.1k~ Warning: No real warnings but this is a Naruto au so it's not gonna to match up with the storyline at all List of Terminology a/n: Ahh idk how this'll do since I mostly post Jungkook/Kpop fics but I hope you guys'll look forward to this fic! Naruto is my all time favorite anime and I highly suggest you watch it but it's not necessary to enjoy this fic. You might need to look up the meaning of some of the words but it's nothing too crazy okay okay I'm done

Starting the morning off with a rude awakening is never good and today was unfortunately one of those days... 

I jolt awake at the sound of someone banging on my front door and almost fall out of bed. "What the fuck is someone doing here so early?" I grumble to myself seeing that it's barely seven o'clock. I stretch for a second and rub my eyes before getting out of bed and putting my slippers on so I can open the door for whoever this horrible nuisance might be. 

"Why the hell are you banging on my do- Oh Sasuke, what are you doing here?" I question, bringing my first scolding tone down to my normal one. "The Hokage wants to see us. She said it was urgent" he says and walks away giving me no further details.

"Wait Sasuke! I- and he's gone" I call out for him but he disappears before I'm able to get another word in. 'Thanks for the info Sasuke' I grumble to myself before heading back inside to get ready. 

I take a quick shower, get dressed and head out as fast as I can but it doesn't seem like it was fast enough for Sasuke's liking as I see him leaning up against the wall next to Lady Tsunade's office with an irritated look on his face. "Nice to see you too Sasuke" I mumble and neither of us bother trying to engage in any other conversation before knocking on Lady Tsunade's door.

"Enter" I hear faintly from the other side of the door and walk in with Sasuke right behind me. "You wanted to see us?" I question as we both make our way over to her. "Yes, thank you both for coming in this early" she says, setting the papers she had been looking through down on her desk. "Is everything alright?" I ask as I take into account the dark circles under her eyes worried that something horrible might've happened. 

"There was a team of Shinobi that went out on a mission to the village hidden in the stars a few weeks ago and they haven't returned. It should've been an easy mission but we've lost all contact with them about a week ago" she lists off, sorting through the papers until she finds the right one. 

"The village hidden in the stars? What were they doing there?" I question, hoping to get as much intel as I can. "They were meant to retrieve a certain item there that the village had planned to give us for research but I can't reveal exactly what that item is" She says, giving only the necessary information. 

"Why not?" Sasuke asks in a monotone, cocking his brow at the Hokage and she simply rolls her eyes in response, already used to his insolence. "It's not something the public should be aware of and honestly I've given you more information than I should have" she say, glaring right back at him. 

"You don't trust us?" Sasuke prods, obviously not happy about being left in the dark about this but Tsunade just shakes her head, tired of the pushback but also trying to hold in her anger as she's known to have a short fuse. 

"Once you find them just give them this document, they'll fill you in on the rest once you get there. We never really know who's listening and like I said we do-" "Don't want anyone knowing we got it" Sasuke says cutting her off. 

"Sasuke!" I scold him, afraid of the backlash we might receive. "I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, he's really not a morning person" I explain, hoping to defuse the situation. "Sasuke Uchiha, y/f/n, you have been tasked with the mission of locating the missing shinobi and helping them complete their mission" she states before either of us can make any further comments. 

"But Lady Tsunade, usually we go out on missions in teams of three. Won't we need a third?" I question, concerned that this might've been an oversight. 

"It's a covert mission so it would make things too obvious if there were too many of you.  Plus, you're only meant to find them so you two should be sufficient enough. The shinobi you're looking for is a team of jonin so as you can see we've already put enough manpower into this whole operation as is" she explains, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her temples. 

"If I may ask, who are the jonin we're looking for?" I question, seeing as that's the most crucial information we need to complete this mission. "Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara and Itachi Uchiha" she lists off. 

Sasuke stiffens at the sound of the last name and I know from now on that this mission is gonna hit close to home. 

"Pack up your gear and head out as soon as possible" she finishes. "Understood" Sasuke answers for the both of us and makes his way out first, leaving me behind without a care in the world. 

"Lady Tsunade may I ask you something?" I say quietly, keeping my voice down so the possibility of anyone hearing is a little bit smaller. "Go ahead" she sighs, thumbing through the other documents she has strewn about her desk. 

"Why did you put Sasuke on this mission? I mean I don't want it to be seen as if I'm questioning your judgement but isn't the mission a little too personal for him? You know, since Itachi is missing?" I question while walking a bit closer to her desk. 

"That is exactly why I've put him on this mission. The mission is important to the village but it's even more important to Sasuke now that he knows. Plus it might do him some good to be teaming up with Itachi. They've never really been on a mission together now have they?" she explains and I nod my head as she finishes. 

"Yeah I guess you're right. May I ask why you've chosen me to go along though?" I continue, playing with the bracelet I have around my wrist, a nervous habit I've developed over the years. 

"You're a good tracker and you've been completing your missions with close to perfect results. Plus you're a quiet one that doesn't tend to get on people's nerves so I figured you'd get along well with Sasuke" she answers, listing off my strengths which has me a little shy, embarrassed that I pretty much fished for compliments on accident. 

"Just take a deep breath and don't be nervous. Sasuke's rough around the edges but I'm sure you guys will work together just fine" she says while giving me a warm smile, hoping to give me some encouragement. "Yes my Lady, thank you" I say, giving her a shallow bow, walking out of her office and rushing home.

'I hope she's right about this' I think to myself as I run through the village, dreading what is to come as flashbacks of the argument I had witnessed between the brothers comes to mind again. 

'Please Sasuke, don't mess this one up'

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[firedrakegirl]

Getting noticed

I glanced behind me at Clint, unconscious on the floor. The Hydra goon had a gun pointed at me, but I wasn’t moving out of the way. There wasn’t much I could do, but I could at least try and protect him. My connection to Loki kept me from being an actual civilian, but I didn’t have powers or much ability. I mean, I was learning to fight, but…well, I was scared of the Avengers and the class I was taking was not at this level.

“Get out of the way.”

If you can’t take them out, slow them down, be surprising and unpredictable. That’s what Clint always said. I grinned viciously at the goon, panic giving it a manic edge. “What are you going to do? Shoot me? That would be a real bang for the Avengers. Just don’t forget the safety.” I started punning to buy myself time. Then it hit me. I stepped as close as I could as quickly as I could, reaching into my pocket and grabbing as much of the glitter that had spilled earlier and chucking it in his face as I used the other hand to palm strike his nose. I didn’t expect the Green glow as I hit him, or for him to go flying into a wall and collapse bonelessly. I did my best to ignore the smear of blood. I spun around and started checking over Clint. Luckily, he was starting to wake up, but I kept him still. “Don’t move until medical checks you over hun. Don’t know how badly you’re hurt.”

Clint groaned and looked at me with crossed eyes.

“Yeah, you’re probably concussed. It’s fine. Just stay awake and focused on me or I’m going to put glitter in all your underwear.” The man groaned at me.

Suddenly, the lights came back on. There was the briefest of pauses before JARVIS spoke. “I am back online.”

“Okay good. We need medical up here for Clint. And one of the hydra douches. And a vacuum. Where’s the vacuum. Tony’s going to kill me over the glitter.”

“Do not worry about that. Medical has been alerted.” JARVIS assured me. “Are you hurt.”

I shook my head. “No. I’m fine. Shaky, but fine. Haven’t had a gun pointed at me before.” I stayed by Clint’s side, occasionally keeping him from trying to move.

Soon, the medical team arrived and got Clint on a gurney, along with the goon. I pointedly ignored them covering him with a sheet. I followed along partway to medical, needing to make sure Clint was alright. Once I was sure he was, I quietly slipped away in the chaos and headed up to Loki’s and my floor. I carefully turned on the shower as hot and hard as I could, stripped my clothes off, and sat in the massive shower, letting the water rush over me.

I have no idea how much later it was, as my skin was badly pruned, but I felt like no time had passed at all. Loki was sitting in the shower, still in his armor, knee pressed against mine. “Are you back with me, sister?”

I blinked at him slowly, confused. “What….?”

“I could feel your turmoil all the way in Asgard.” He didn’t move, just staying close and barely touching me. “I don’t know how long you’ve been sitting here.”

“Four hours and 37 minutes.” JARVIS supplied. “Verbal interaction was ignored, and none of the Avengers could get into the room.”

“Four,.. I just sat down.” I frowned, slowly uncurling from the ball I’d somehow ended up in. My knee cracked loudly and Loki and I both winced at the feeling.

“You were dissociating, I believe.”

I looked at Loki and he wordlessly opened his arms. I dove into him for a much needed hug, and the tears started. “I killed someone!! Clint was knocked out, no one else was in the Tower, the defense mechanisms made it so we were alone with the Hydra guys and I just wanted to knock him out but he’s dead and I threw him across the room and split his head open like a watermelon and I don’t know what’s wrong with me what happened how did I do that what’s going on is Clint going to be okay was it just a concussion or was something more happening was it a bad concussion I know he’s had a couple and I’m rambling and I can’t stop Loki make it stop make me stop I’m a terrible person I killed someone brother what’s wrong with me I killed someone and they’re dead now and I'm a monster and Clint was hurt and bad and..” “If you're a monster, I'm more of one.” Loki disagreed, carefully prodding at the wound on my head.

I let out a little noise of pain; now that I'd noticed I'd been injured, I was aware of how much it hurt. “You're not a monster. You're incapable of it.”

“Then so are you, sister-mine. You're just a person who was put in a bad situation. And, from what I understand, you responded perfectly. You protected yourself and the Hawk, and therefore the building. You did so well.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. “Now, let's get you dressed and down to medical. I think you're going to need stitches. And even Stark's hot water has it's limits.

I had to halfheartedly chuckle at that. “I'd really rather stay.”

“I know. But you need to be taken care of. And I know you want to check on the Hawk.”

I couldn't argue with that, so I let him cajole me out of the shower and into a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. I had to laugh at the shirt he'd picked. It had his face on it. “What happened on Asgard? You were needed for something?”

“Yes.” Loki indulged me by offering a distraction. “Mother requested me for a difficult negotiation with Alfheim. I wore the armor at her request.”

“She knows you're more comfortable in that than your formal clothes. We really need to introduce the concept of suits to your people.”

“I really hope you mean the Aesir and not the Jotun.” He laughed.

I grinned at the mental image. “I dunno....” I pushed a thought at him. “I think they'd look snazzy.”

“I am not wearing a zoot suit, in either form.”

“Lame.” I teased him, even as he scooped me up and carried me down to the medical floor. “You'd look amazing in one. I'm thinking lime green.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me. Could turn you into a disco-”

He slapped a hand over my mouth. “Don't. You. Dare.”

I licked his hand, but he didn't move it. 'You're so mean to me!' I whined mentally.

He gently smacked the back of my head. “You worried me.” He admitted softly.

“I'm sorry...” I whispered back, though we stopped speaking as we entered.

“There you are!!” Tony Stark stalked over. “No more dissociating in a place where people can't help you.” He said to me. I just stared at him in confusion.

“I could get to her.” Loki pointed out, still dripping water from sitting in the shower with me.

“And you weren't here.” He snapped. “That's why JARVIS tried to help, but no one could get onto your floor.”

“Guys, don't fight.” I asked softly, clinging to Loki.

“Miss Zimbo, why don't you come sit here and let us take a look at you.” Bruce called gently.

Loki set me down on the indicated bed and stepped back for the medical personnel to do their work. “How is the Hawk?” He asked for me.

“Better, and more importantly alive.” Natasha shot me a ghost of a smile. “Thanks to you.”

“I... I'm sorry I couldn't keep him from getting hurt at all...”

“You're untrained and were unprepared. You protected him with glitter.” Natasha disagreed. “You did a good job. We just have to make sure you're more prepared next time. Once your head heals, we'll start training.”

“I could never be as badass as you!” I started at her with wide eyes, before wincing slightly as the doctor started putting stitches in.

“Of course not.” Natasha agreed. “But you can be a more badass you.”

“But with less glitter.” Tony snarked.

“And fewer puns.” Steve walked into the room, scowling at me with the full force of his “America is disappointed in you personally” expression. “That wasn't the best way to distract the gunman.”

I squeaked softly. This was the most attention I'd gotten from any of them other than Clint, and it was all negative.

“Okay, that's enough.” Loki put up a magical barrier separating me from the Avengers other than Clint and Natasha. “She needs to rest, not be interrogated and berated for doing a damn good job without any training and support.”

The other's voices were muted by the barrier and I relaxed incrementally. “Thanks bro.” I whispered then turned to Natasha. “How is he really doing?”

“He has a hard head. He'll be fine.” She assured. “But honestly, I am impressed by your actions.”

“You shouldn't be. I killed someone...”

“You know what I do, yes?”

“You're the super awesome super secret super spy assassin.” I agreed, before clapping a hand over my mouth with another squeak.

Natasha laughed. “Yes. And I’m assuming you know what assassins do.” “Yeah, but that’s different!” I disagreed. “Intention matters.”

“And you think the fact that you didn’t mean to kill him makes you worse than me?”

“Well, yeah!” It was obvious to me.

“Why?”

“Cuz you’re the super awesome badass and I’m the normal one that doesn’t belong here.”

“Do you truly believe that?” She asked, head tilting slightly.

“Well, yeah. I'm just the Loki add on, and I know you guys don't really want him here all that much. I'm a normal human with no powers or abilities, and all I can do is bake for you guys. Most of y'all don't even notice or acknowledge me when I'm in the room.” I waved a hand toward her slightly. “You excluded. You notice everything, but I'm pretty sure everyone just tolerates me because they have to because of Loki and Clint only likes me because of the pranks. I'm pretty sure he'd be happier with someone else, probably Loki when he feels more comfortable with him, because I don't belong here. I'm just the ghost who bakes for everyone.” It all spilled out despite my best efforts to stop myself, and then the tears started again.

Natasha put her hand on my knee. “If you didn't belong here, you wouldn't be here. And your brownies have helped after more than one mission to keep us grounded here. You know that Clint is deaf, right?”

I nodded at the sudden segue, confused.

“You, your brother, and I are the only ones to know. He chose to tell you, powers or not. He refuses to even tell the other Avengers. You belong here. And you proved it today. I suspect that you'll be getting a lot more interest from the team after this.”

I looked at her skeptically. “But....why?”

“You impressed all of us. You're a civilian, so you could have, and should have, run when Hydra broke in. Instead, you stayed with Clint and saved his life.”

“It was the right thing to do.” I frowned. “What else should I have done? Leave my only friend in the tower to die?”

“Most people would have.” She said calmly.

[lesbianslovebts]

When I was a young child, I had lots of meltdowns that my mom didn't understand. I would cry and cry, but I could never say what was wrong. Well, it turns out I couldn't even speak in that state, let alone explain what I was feeling. As I got older, I became more prone to shutdowns and bouts of severe depression rather than meltdowns. But now I'm in my mid-late twenties, and I've started having meltdowns again as an autistic adult. It's probably been about a year since they started up again, and I didn't know what they were at first. I wanna share what they're like for me, in case there are any other late-diagnosed autistic people who want to know more about what meltdowns look like in an adult. This is what happened 2 Saturdays ago:

I went to the store and found out they'd changed the deli section around drastically. The person who normally slices my salami wasn't there, and the new person sliced it thicker than I like. Still, as long as I had the right brand, I knew I'd be okay. But then I got home and found out my brother had his kids come over. There was abnormal debris in my path, like toys and backpacks and empty boxes for the new gates we'd had to install. That was overwhelming both visually and spatially. But I was able to heat up my regular Saturday burrito and ate it in my room. I took a nap after to recover from the grocery trip, as I usually do.

When I woke up, things started really going downhill. I stayed in my room and was trying to do things on my computer. I turned on my fan for white noise to drown out the kids, but I could still hear them squeal or cry, come up to my door and bang on it with toys, and there were other loud, unexpected bangs that made me jump in my seat, multiple times. No one had an explanation for me what those were. So, I put on my noise cancelling headphones. That worked for an hour until my ears got tired from being pressed on, so I took them off. I went out of my room to get something.

Then, I realized there were 3 additional unexpected guests over, including another child. My brother didn't tell me or my mom about this, so I froze up when I saw them. My mom pointed out that I hadn't acknowledged their greetings, but I couldn't really say anything, waved awkwardly, and moved on. I holed up in my room again and kept flinching from the noises.

Additionally, my brother, who sounds just like our abusive, alcoholic father, kept yelling at the kids. It sounded like it was right outside my door. Physical anxiety began to set in from the PTSD. Then a migraine came on. It felt like 3 nails were being hammered into my head. I took my pills and tried to sleep some more to prevent it from getting worse, but the noise was too much. I texted my mom about the migraine, desperate for her to quiet everything down, but it didn't happen.

I started breathing abnormally. I sat in my bed, rocking back and forth, unable to sleep. A couple tears fell, but I tried to stop because crying makes migraines worse. The noises didn't stop. I started pushing the heel of my palm on my head where the migraine hurt and dragged it across my skull. It would have looked like I was hitting myself. Then I started sobbing. Mouth open, gut-wrenching, screaming sobs. I tried to muffle it with my blankets, which made it harder to breathe. I coughed and gagged and blew my nose.

When I ran out of energy to sit up, I slumped against the wall, still sobbing, with my arms sticking out and tense. I dug my heels into the bed and dragged them on the mattress, kicking each leg out one after the other. By the time the meltdown ended about 30-40 minutes later, when I'd completely run out of energy, the extra guests left, and the kids were in bed. I laid in bed, exhausted, but unable to sleep. Eventually, I got out of bed to talk to my mom about what happened and what needs to change to prevent this from happening again.

I had no control over the crying, hitting, or kicking. I think frustration and anger were the most prominent emotions I felt. I was also deeply disappointed because it was my birthday weekend, and it was ruined. I still don't know what I can do, if anything, to make these meltdowns easier or shorter when they happen. I'll be working with my therapist on that. Anyway, that's what an adult autistic meltdown looked like for me.

(This is okay to reblog. I invite other adult autistics to share their experiences in the tags or comments.)