#just maha things

[socksnstuff00]

whenever i have stuff to do i inmediately start wasting time in here lol yo miss me? give me a ton of work and i'll be here in an instant lmao

[haec-an]

mark and haechan for istj mv teaser

[jentlemahae]

[northgazaupdates]

WINTER CLOTHES NEEDED❄️🧥

I just received this message from Maha @mahaibrahim12 :

The message reads

The weather here has become very cold and we are on the street. We have no place to stay and my children are still wearing their summer pyjamas.We are freezing without winter clothes, blankets or mattresses.

I know our followers are scattered all around the world, so not everyone is familiar with cold weather. I myself live in a warm climate, but I am visiting a very cold place right now, and I can’t believe how much the cold saps my energy.

Now imagine being a small child in an increasingly cold environment. Imagine not having warm winter clothes to wear during the day, nor adequate pajamas to help you sleep comfortably at night. And imagine while all this is happening, not even having a roof over your head!

This is the life of Maha’s children, Joan and Khalil. They lost their home to IOF bombing, and were displaced with their parents and grandparents. They had a tent for a time, but then the IOF bombed that too. Miraculously, the whole family survived, although Maha, Joan, and Joan’s grandfather (whose difficult health situation we have posted about here) were seriously wounded.

They are now sleeping in the streets. They have no cover over their heads, nor under their backs. They sleep on cold, hard cement every night, under an open sky dotted by explosions and gunfire. Can you imagine such a life? Can you imagine trying to lay down at night, not knowing if you’ll be able to sleep due to the cold? Not knowing, even if you can fall asleep, if you will wake up in the morning? The human body requires things like fat stores to survive cold temperatures. After a year of starvation, the family have no stores of fat on their exhausted bodies.

They are freezing to death, and it’s not even winter yet. How will they survive until spring????

If you have ever been cold, if you have a warm jacket or sweater to put on, if you have a roof over your head or a cushion to lay upon, please consider sending some support to the Al-Habil family.

Thank you❤️

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Every internet fight is a speech fight

THIS WEEKEND (November 8-10), I'll be in TUCSON, AZ: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

My latest Locus Magazine column is "Hard (Sovereignty) Cases Make Bad (Internet) Law," an attempt to cut through the knots we tie ourselves in when speech and national sovereignty collide online:

https://locusmag.com/2024/11/cory-doctorow-hard-sovereignty-cases-make-bad-internet-law/

This happens all the time. Indeed, the precipitating incident for my writing this column was someone commenting on the short-lived Brazilian court order blocking Twitter, opining that this was purely a matter of national sovereignty, with no speech dimension.

This is just profoundly wrong. Of course any rules about blocking a communications medium will have a free-speech dimension – how could it not? And of course any dispute relating to globe-spanning medium will have a national sovereignty dimension.

How could it not?

So if every internet fight is a speech fight and a sovereignty fight, which side should we root for? Here's my proposal: we should root for human rights.

In 2013, Edward Snowden revealed that the US government was illegally wiretapping the whole world. They were able to do this because the world is dominated by US-based tech giants and they shipped all their data stateside for processing. These tech giants secretly colluded with the NSA to help them effect this illegal surveillance (the "Prism" program) – and then the NSA stabbed them in the back by running another program ("Upstream") where they spied on the tech giants without their knowledge.

After the Snowden revelations, countries around the world enacted "data localization" rules that required any company doing business within their borders to keep their residents' data on domestic servers. Obviously, this has a human rights dimension: keeping your people's data out of the hands of US spy agencies is an important way to defend their privacy rights. which are crucial to their speech rights (you can't speak freely if you're being spied on).

So when the EU, a largely democratic bloc, enacted data localization rules, they were harnessing national soveriegnty in service to human rights.

But the EU isn't the only place that enacted data-localization rules. Russia did the same thing. Once again, there's a strong national sovereignty case for doing this. Even in the 2010s, the US and Russia were hostile toward one another, and that hostility has only ramped up since. Russia didn't want its data stored on NSA-accessible servers for the same reason the USA wouldn't want all its' people's data stored in GRU-accessible servers.

But Russia has a significantly poorer human rights record than either the EU or the USA (note that none of these are paragons of respect for human rights). Russia's data-localization policy was motivated by a combination of legitimate national sovereignty concerns and the illegitimate desire to conduct domestic surveillance in order to identify and harass, jail, torture and murder dissidents.

When you put it this way, it's obvious that national sovereignty is important, but not as important as human rights, and when they come into conflict, we should side with human rights over sovereignty.

Some more examples: Thailand's lesse majeste rules prohibit criticism of their corrupt monarchy. Foreigners who help Thai people circumvent blocks on reportage of royal corruption are violating Thailand's national sovereignty, but they're upholding human rights:

https://www.vox.com/2020/1/24/21075149/king-thailand-maha-vajiralongkorn-facebook-video-tattoos

Saudi law prohibits criticism of the royal family; when foreigners help Saudi women's rights activists evade these prohibitions, we violate Saudi sovereignty, but uphold human rights:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-55467414

In other words, "sovereignty, yes; but human rights even moreso."

Which brings me back to the precipitating incidents for the Locus column: the arrest of billionaire Telegram owner Pavel Durov in France, and the blocking of billionaire Elon Musk's Twitter in Brazil.

How do we make sense of these? Let's start with Durov. We still don't know exactly why the French government arrested him (legal systems descended from the Napoleonic Code are weird). But the arrest was at least partially motivated by a demand that Telegram conform with a French law requiring businesses to have a domestic agent to receive and act on takedown demands.

Not every takedown demand is good. When a lawyer for the Sackler family demanded that I take down criticism of his mass-murdering clients, that was illegitimate. But there is such a thing as a legitimate takedown: leaked financial information, child sex abuse material, nonconsensual pornography, true threats, etc, are all legitimate targets for takedown orders. Of course, it's not that simple. Even if we broadly agree that this stuff shouldn't be online, we don't necessarily agree whether something fits into one of these categories.

This is true even in categories with the brightest lines, like child sex abuse material:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/sep/09/facebook-reinstates-napalm-girl-photo

And the other categories are far blurrier, like doxing:

https://www.kenklippenstein.com/p/trump-camp-worked-with-musks-x-to

But just because not every takedown is a just one, it doesn't follow that every takedown is unjust. The idea that companies should have domestic agents in the countries where they operate isn't necessarily oppressive. If people who sell hamburgers from a street-corner have to register a designated contact with a regulator, why not someone who operates a telecoms network with 900m global users?

Of course, requirements to have a domestic contact can also be used as a prelude to human rights abuses. Countries that insist on a domestic rep are also implicitly demanding that the company place one of its employees or agents within reach of its police-force.

Just as data localization can be a way to improve human rights (by keeping data out of the hands of another country's lawless spy agencies) or to erode them (by keeping data within reach of your own country's lawless spy agencies), so can a requirement for a local agent be a way to preserve the rule of law (by establishing a conduit for legitimate takedowns) or a way to subvert it (by giving the government hostages they can use as leverage against companies who stick up for their users' rights).

In the case of Durov and Telegram, these issues are especially muddy. Telegram bills itself as an encrypted messaging app, but that's only sort of true. Telegram does not encrypt its group-chats, and even the encryption in its person-to-person messaging facility is hard to use and of dubious quality.

This is relevant because France – among many other governments – has waged a decades-long war against encrypted messaging, which is a wholly illegitimate goal. There is no way to make an encrypted messaging tool that works against bad guys (identity thieves, stalkers, corporate and foreign spies) but not against good guys (cops with legitimate warrants). Any effort to weaken end-to-end encrypted messaging creates broad, significant danger for every user of the affected service, all over the world. What's more, bans on end-to-end encrypted messaging tools can't stand on their own – they also have to include blocks of much of the useful internet, mandatory spyware on computers and mobile devices, and even more app-store-like control over which software you can install:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/05/theyre-still-trying-to-ban-cryptography/

So when the French state seizes Durov's person and demands that he establish the (pretty reasonable) minimum national presence needed to coordinate takedown requests, it can seem like this is a case where national sovereignty and human rights are broadly in accord.

But when you consider that Durov operates a (nominally) encrypted messaging tool that bears some resemblance to the kinds of messaging tools the French state has been trying to sabotage for decades, and continues to rail against, the human rights picture gets rather dim.

That is only slightly mitigated by the fact that Telegram's encryption is suspect, difficult to use, and not applied to the vast majority of the communications it serves. So where do we net out on this? In the Locus column, I sum things up this way:

Telegram should have a mechanism to comply with lawful takedown orders; and

those orders should respect human rights and the rule of law; and

Telegram should not backdoor its encryption, even if

the sovereign French state orders it to do so.

Sovereignty, sure, but human rights even moreso.

What about Musk? As with Durov in France, the Brazilian government demanded that Musk appoint a Brazilian representative to handle official takedown requests. Despite a recent bout of democratic backsliding under the previous regime, Brazil's current government is broadly favorable to human rights. There's no indication that Brazil would use an in-country representative as a hostage, and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with requiring foreign firms doing business in your country to have domestic representatives.

Musk's response was typical: a lawless, arrogant attack on the judge who issued the blocking order, including thinly veiled incitements to violence.

The Brazilian state's response was multi-pronged. There was a national blocking order, and a threat to penalize Brazilians who used VPNs to circumvent the block. Both measures have obvious human rights implications. For one thing, the vast majority of Brazilians who use Twitter are engaged in the legitimate exercise of speech, and they were collateral damage in the dispute between Musk and Brazil.

More serious is the prohibition on VPNs, which represents a broad attack on privacy-enhancing technology with implications far beyond the Twitter matter. Worse still, a VPN ban can only be enforced with extremely invasive network surveillance and blocking orders to app stores and ISPs to restrict access to VPN tools. This is wholly disproportionate and illegitimate.

But that wasn't the only tactic the Brazilian state used. Brazilian corporate law is markedly different from US law, with fewer protections for limited liability for business owners. The Brazilian state claimed the right to fine Musk's other companies for Twitter's failure to comply with orders to nominate a domestic representative. Faced with fines against Spacex and Tesla, Musk caved.

In other words, Brazil had a legitimate national sovereignty interest in ordering Twitter to nominate a domestic agent, and they used a mix of somewhat illegitimate tactics (blocking orders), extremely illegitimate tactics (threats against VPN users) and totally legitimate tactics (fining Musk's other companies) to achieve these goals.

As I put it in the column:

Twitter should have a mechanism to comply with lawful takedown orders; and

those orders should respect human rights and the rule of law; and

banning Twitter is bad for the free speech rights of Twitter users in Brazil; and

banning VPNs is bad for all Brazilian internet users; and

it’s hard to see how a Twitter ban will be effective without bans on VPNs.

There's no such thing as an internet policy fight that isn't about national sovereignty and speech, and when the two collide, we should side with human rights over sovereignty. Sovereignty isn't a good unto itself – it's only a good to the extent that is used to promote human rights.

In other words: "Sovereignty, sure, but human rights even moreso."

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/06/brazilian-blowout/#sovereignty-sure-but-human-rights-even-moreso

Image: © Tomas Castelazo, www.tomascastelazo.com (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Border_Wall_at_Tijuana_and_San_Diego_Border.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

[ak319]

Lovesick Village Boy x Fem civil servant reader

PART VI

➺ Part V

"Rahim, please… say something," you tried again, your patience stretched thin by the gnawing worry in your chest. This was the third time you'd asked, and with each unanswered attempt, your resolve to get to the bottom of things only grew stronger. If he didn’t speak soon, you were prepared to go straight to his family’s home yourself.

"That's it." You rose to leave, but before you could take a step, a small hand gripped your sleeve, halting you. Rahim’s expression was haunted, his eyes wide and pleading. His hand trembled, clutching you like you were his only anchor in a sea of terror. The fear in his gaze didn’t diminish your anxiety, it only sharpened it, tightening like a vice around your heart.

"You’ve got to say something, kiddo," you murmured, leaning close so he wouldn’t feel pressured. "You’re making me worry here."

Finally, after a silence that stretched unbearably long, Rahim’s voice came, barely a whisper. "U… uncle…"

You leaned in, gentle and steady. "Habib?" you prompted softly. "Are you talking about him? Yes, tell me, Rahim… what happened?"

He hesitated, the words hovering at the edge of his lips, but then, as quickly as he’d started, he fell silent again, retreating into himself. His eyes shifted away, shadowed and unreadable, as if something unspeakable lay hidden just beneath the surface.

You let out a quiet sigh, knowing that pressing him further wouldn’t help. He needed time. Placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, you signaled Odai to come closer. "Odai, stay with him," you instructed, casting a final, lingering glance at Rahim

"B-but what about you, ma'am? Where are you off to?" Odai's voice trembled slightly as he watched you prepare to leave.

"To his house, with Maha," you replied firmly, glancing at the clock on your desk. It was 7:30 a.m., too early for peace but not for action.

Odai shifted uneasily. "I should go with you, and Maha can stay here."

You silenced him with a look, then took the gun from your locker, its cold weight in your hand grounding you with the resolve you needed. "I can handle it, Odai. Just watch over him and call me if anything changes."

Odai nodded reluctantly, his eyes flickering to the unconscious Rahim. And with that, you left, setting out with Maha, who looked more unnerved than usual, her hands twisting in her lap as you drove.

"What if… what if it’s related to the story I told you, ma’am?” Maha's voice was small, hesitant. “And from what you’ve told me about Rahim, and everything… what if Habib’s… possessed again? I warned you, didn’t I? It’s not right to get tangled with him, or that family. The way his brother insulted you…” Her hands clenched in her lap, remembering that day, the bitter words she still hadn’t forgotten.

“Maha, we talked about this.” You kept your voice calm, though tension simmered beneath. “Habib needs help. This… this might be something worse, yes. God, I have no idea what we’re going to find there or how deep this goes. But if this is connected to him, I’m stepping in, Basim’s objections be damned.”

Maha looked at you with renewed determination. Her gaze shifted to the gun secured in its holder beside you, her expression hardening with resolve.

“Yes, ma’am.”

═════ ◈ ═════

When you reached the house, the air was thick with an unsettling silence, the kind that seeped into your bones. There was something about it that felt wrong, like an invisible void, as if you had come to collect the fragments of something lost. The house, once a familiar place of comfort, now felt like a hollow shell. You shook off the feeling, attributing it to the paranoia caused by Rahim's cryptic behavior and the events of the night.

"Ma’am, he... he’s very sick. He wouldn’t stop saying your name..." Kadir's voice faltered as he stood beside Habib's bed. You looked down at the unconscious man, your grip tightening on his hand as his body trembled. His mouth was dry, letting out soft, pitiful whimpers that seemed to grow quieter, calmer, as if he found some semblance of peace in your presence.

"What did the doctor say?" You asked, keeping your voice steady, despite the deepening sense of dread gnawing at you.

"He has a high fever, and he's under extreme stress..." Kadir responded his voice a mixture of concern and exhaustion. You glanced at Dana, who was sitting beside Habib, her eyes filled with a motherly worry that was almost suffocating. She didn't need to say anything, her gaze spoke volumes, each one filled with unspoken fear and you couldn't take it anymore.

"I’ve had enough." You stood abruptly, your voice hardening with resolve. "I’m taking him with me. And nobody here is going to stop me." Your stance was unwavering, your eyes locked with Kadir's, whose face paled at the weight of your words.

Kadir seemed to hesitate, but the look in your eyes made it clear you wouldn't be moved. He nodded slowly, his expression resigned, knowing full well what you meant.

"I just..." you continued, turning your attention to them, "Do you both know where Rahim is?"

The couple exchanged a glance, confusion crossing their faces. "Rahim? He must be in his room... You want me to call him?" Dana’s voice was tentative, unsure of the sudden shift in the air.

"No, no." You cut her off. "He’s not in his room. He’s in my bungalow." You watched as realization hit them like a wave, their faces draining of color as you explained the strange events that had unfolded, the boy's frantic running, the collapse, and the chilling connection to Habib. Their expressions grew ashen, the weight of the situation settling over them like a suffocating fog.

Kadir blinked in disbelief, his voice a low whisper. "I better go... inform Basim of this."

"No." You turned, cutting him off once again, your tone sharp. "Not until I leave with Habib. I am not in the mood to deal with him right now. Trust me, you don’t want me to." Your eyes flickered to the unconscious figure of Habib, then back to Maya, your resolve unshakable.

Maya, who had been quietly observing the situation, nodded in agreement, her eyes meeting yours with understanding. She didn’t need to ask any more questions. The decision had already been made.

"In fact, you both are coming with me, I think... Rahim might not mind it." You said with a touch of certainty, even though your mind raced with the implications of the situation. The bruises you had seen on the child’s body were unmistakable, and they burned in your mind. You were certain they were from Basim. You had seen his cruelty before, and this was no different. A gut feeling told you the two were somehow connected, and the thought churned uneasily in your stomach.

"Um, yes, definitely." Kadir’s voice quivered slightly, his worry for his grandson and son making him agree without much resistance.

"Good," you responded briskly, trying to push the anxiety down.

The air between the five of you was tense, the weight of unspoken words hanging like a heavy cloud as you made your way back to the bungalow. Your eyes were drawn to Habib, his limp form resting against his father in the backseat, his chest rising and falling weakly. The image of him like that, vulnerable, fragile, almost lost, was a stain in your mind that wouldn't fade.

By the time you arrived at the bungalow, the place felt more like a sanctuary and a prison in equal measure. The heavy silence from earlier still clung to the house, but now you didn’t have time to dwell on it. Dr Ali was already there, pacing in front of the door, looking visibly tense. He was here to check on Rahim and Habib.

═════ ◈ ═════

it had been three days since the atmosphere in the bungalow had turned so heavy, each day thick with the silence of unspoken fears and unanswered questions. Habib, thank God, was showing signs of improvement, but he was still too weak, refusing to eat and constantly haunted by nightmares. The only time he seemed to find peace was when you were by his side. His vulnerability clung to you like a weight, and no matter how many times you tried to shake the unease off, it lingered.

In the other room, Rahim was still as quiet as ever. He hadn’t spoken a word since you brought him back, and every day that passed without him opening up felt like another failure, a missed opportunity to get to the root of whatever was haunting him. Still, his grandparents’ presence did seem to calm him in some way, though you couldn’t help but wonder if that was enough. You prayed for his voice every night, hoping he would say something, anything, to give you a clue about what he was going through.

Kadir had told you that Basim and his wife had gone to visit some relatives for a wedding, which felt... odd, to say the least. How could a wedding be more important than their son’s condition? And why hadn’t they been told about what was happening? Kadir, of course, insisted that it was better they didn’t know yet, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to it. His reasoning didn’t sit right with you. And then, there was Samir and his family, who had moved out of the village with no warning. Something didn’t add up. Why would they leave so suddenly, just as things were escalating?

Maha’s voice broke through your thoughts, her tone tentative but insistent. "There is... I just... feel fishy, ma'am. I mean, all the Rahim fiasco and how Kadir insists on you marrying-"

You held up your hand, cutting her off, your voice steady but carrying a weight of finality. "It was my decision, Maha. I want it to be done."

"But, why, ma'am... why so fast? Shouldn't we wait for things to settle?"

You let out a slow breath, your fingers tracing the rim of your coffee cup as you gathered your thoughts. "Maha, I can't have some man in my bungalow..." You trailed off, hoping she understood the gravity of what you were saying. "Y'know, try to understand."

Maha was silent for a moment, her eyes dropping to the floor as she processed your words. Then, without a word, she nodded, her expression softening with understanding.

"I have... talked to my parents," you continued, your voice low but resolute. "And they agreed. Fortunately. Tomorrow, go find the cleric. Bring him, and in the afternoon, the ceremony has to be done with." Your parents were shocked to hear your sudden announcement but as you kept the details about the current situation mostly vague they agreed, somewhat happy and given our urgency they agreed to be on a video call during the ceremony. It was going to be a small one, Habib's parents, Rahim and you both.

"Yes, ma'am." Her tone was firm, her eyes momentarily drifting to the hallway. You followed her gaze, only to catch a glimpse of Rahim standing by the corner of the hallway before he quickly disappeared out of sight. You sat there for a moment, your heart thudding against your chest as you absorbed the subtle shift in the room

"Rahim..." You stood up, your mind heavy with worry, and moved toward the hallway. You quickly were on your feet and stalked in the direction, Maha, following behind.

With a gentle knock, you entered the room, your eyes falling on the boy sitting quietly on the bed. His back was turned, half of his body facing the door, but his posture was stiff, unnatural, like someone trying to brace against something they couldn’t see or understand. The atmosphere around him was thick with tension, his usual mischievous energy nowhere to be found.

"Um, Maha..." you said softly, and she nodded before stepping out of the room, leaving you alone with him.

You stepped forward slowly, the floor creaking faintly under your weight as you sat down beside him. For a long moment, you said nothing. It seemed there was nothing to say, no words that could bridge the silence between you both. You just sat there, letting your presence speak for itself.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his voice broke the stillness, soft and hesitant. "You... are going to marry...?"

At first, you were unsure whether it was a question or a statement, the words hanging in the air like a fragile thread. You glanced at him, his face still angled down, avoiding your gaze, but the emptiness in his eyes struck you hard.

"Yes... I am... isn't that a good thing?" You gave him a soft smile, one that didn’t reach your heart, but you tried. Gently, you reached out and rubbed his back, trying to offer comfort, though you knew he wasn’t the same boy who had always bounced around, full of life and questions. "You getting this cool aunt." You chuckled to lighten the mood.

But his response was far from what you expected.

"Don't."

"You...don't...want me to marry Habib?" He stayed quiet. Once again.

"Rahim…" you whispered, though you knew he probably wasn’t listening. But you couldn’t stop yourself. "Talk to me, please."

"They...they...always...just didn't let me tell you. I wanted to." His leg started bouncing and you immediately held his hand, the other on his leg to calm him. "Take breaths, I am here, you are safe. No body is going to do anything. So, talk freely, and fully. Whoever it is about. Even if it's Habib, if he's done something to you, tell me that too. I won't say a word to you, or anyone about this to anyone. Even if it is about... the thing regarding your uncle being possessed and all...I know the story...Habib himself told me, so don't think of me as a stranger. Alright?"

He nodded and wiped a tear. He took moments to clam down and with a heavy breath continued. "My...uncle...he..." He breathed in a breath.

"Was never possessed."

“He’s known for his extraordinary beauty. I have not seen him myself though. So, up until he was about sixteen, everything seemed fine. But then, he suddenly vanished from his friends’ lives and stopped attending school. Despite the family’s best efforts to conceal the issue, it eventually came to light that he was... possessed."

"When I was younger—around sixteen—I... went through something. Something I can’t fully explain, even to this day."

"It was like... something else had control over me. I was sick...and I was dangerous. I hurt people--people I loved, hurt myself too. My family didn’t speak about it much after it was over. They believed it was better left forgotten. But I can’t forget. I’ve tried to move on, but..."

No...those...those are all stories? He gave you and himself to catch a breath then continued.

"When I was a child," he began, his voice barely above a whisper, "I thought...what everyone thought that...indeed Uncle was. He was praised for his beauty, and my dad... hated him for it. Every chance he got, he'd tear into him, beat him, humiliate him. It only made Uncle more closed off. He stopped going out, hid from everyone, saying he was cursed by his own looks." Rahim’s voice cracked, his gaze distant as if seeing those memories unfold all over again.

The words tumbled out of him, fast and desperate, as if he had held them in for too long. "He started saying someone was using black magic against him, someone in the family. And my dad, he... he enjoyed it. He fueled those fears and made Uncle believe he was haunted and cursed because he was angry at Uncle for rejecting my aunt's hand and just y'know jealous. Everyone around started to believe it too because he started to act...like...he was. It became this... rumour that swallowed him whole. Even the cleric knew it wasn’t true, he told everyone but no one listened. And my grandfather, even he started believing it."

Rahim’s shoulders shook, his hands clenching into fists as he struggled to contain his grief. "We live in a village where nobody talks about mental illness. People don’t understand, they don’t want to understand. They just accepted that something was wrong with him and left him to rot. But I knew… I knew it wasn’t magic. I researched on my own, in school, and I just can't figure out what's wrong with him but I know there is....there is something psychological. I wanted to help him, I tried to, but nobody would listen."

Tears streamed down his face now, his voice breaking as the words poured out like a dam finally bursting. "Dad would beat me whenever I tried to bring it up. And Grandfather who has always been helpless against my dad always said that he will be fine once he gets married… he just wants to marry Uncle off because he thinks marriage will fix him like that’s some kind of miracle cure. Especially getting him married to you.... someone of your status. But it’s all... it’s all bullshit! Marriage won’t solve anything! The medicines he takes are just mostly sleeping pills and--and some herbal stuff my grandfather gives him which are not what he needs! He needs a proper treatment...proper treatment."

Rahim’s outburst ended in a sob, his chest heaving as he broke down completely. He was no longer the reserved, cautious boy you knew, he was vulnerable, raw, and heartbroken, carrying the weight of years of pain and helplessness on his young shoulders.

"When you came here and even better, took interest in my Uncle, I thought that maybe marriage wouldn't be bad because he would be free and you would get him treated, I would tell you about it myself when the time is right. It was...about to happen but...again my Dad...he ruined it, I thought it was over, you were out of his life, but I still hoped, he loves you so much and I know you do too so...I was ready to help my uncle run away but.."

You were too shocked to even ask him why he had stopped speaking and simply let out a questioning hum.

"My mum and dad… they… they tried to…"

"Tried to what?" You were both startled by the sudden ringtone of your phone. Seeing Odai's name on the screen, you quickly answered, bracing yourself against the possibility of more bad news.

"Ma'am, I checked the footage from the village gate. Samir left last night with his family around 4 a.m. But Basim and his wife… they never actually left the village."

Your eyes widened. "What? Are you saying… they’re still here?"

"Yes, ma'am," Odai confirmed before you ended the call. You turned back to Rahim, whose face had gone pale, frozen in place as if dreading the implications of this revelation.

"Rahim…" you said slowly, your voice soft yet urging. "They tried to what? And… where are they?"

Part VII

(AN: Did you guys expect that ʘ‿ʘ? Do comment and lemme know! Also, I know I should have mentioned it earlier but the story is set in 1990's due to which especially in the village people don't use much tech, like wifi and all cuz not everybody has computers etc that's why Rahim did whatever research he could in his school's library and computer.)

[milaalkhansah]

100 hal yang aku pelajari di 2024

1. Nggak ada orang lain yang lebih penting dalam hidup seseorang kecuali dirinya sendiri. Berhenti merasa spesial.

2. Berhenti berteman dengan seseorang yang menganggapmu saingan, bukan seseorang yang bersedia untuk diajak tumbuh dan berkembang bersama-sama.

3. Tidak ada seorang pun yang bertanggungjawab untuk membahagiakan dan memperjuangkan hidupmu selain dirimu sendiri. Semua orang sibuk dengan hidupnya masing-masing.

4. Mengubah hidup terkadang sesederhana mengubah pola pikir.

5. Satu-satunya waktu yang kita punya adalah saat ini. Later or tomorrow isn't a promise.

6. Everything takes time. So be patient for what we have been trying and wishing for.

7. Kebanyakan orang seringkali hanya ingin mendengar apa yang mereka percayai, bukan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi.

8. Tidak perlu menjelaskan sesuatu. Orang-orang yang mengerti tidak membutuhkannya, dan orang-orang yang membenci tidak akan mendengarkannya.

9. Hidup tidak akan berubah kalau bukan diri sendiri yang memulai untuk mengubahnya.

10. You vs you. Not others.

11. You deserve better.

12. Tidak ada kezaliman dalam takdir Allah bila kita beriman.

13. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Baik dan cuman bisa berbuat baik. Jaga terus prasangka baik kita kepada-Nya.

14. Done is better than perfect.

15. Nobody can understand me better than Allah and myself.

16. Reality is what happens. Not what i think will happen.

17. Dream isn't what I'm thinking of, but what i create, build, and fight for.

18. if i don't wake up to pray qiyam, then i don't want it enough.

19. In order to make people understand i have to talk

20. My family needs 'thanks, ask, and sorry' from me too.

21. There's no benefit for anyone to know what i have done or what my kindness is.

22. Less is more.

23. World doesn't end just because i miss some people, made mistakes, or haven't learn something yet.

24. What's for me never miss me, and what's not for me always finding ways to go. 

25. Not everyone has the same heart as mine, nor think the way i think and that's okay.

26. If they wanted they would. I don't want to force anything anymore.

27. Two things I'll never forget: how someone treats me and what they made me feel.

28. Not everyone matters.

29. I will never accept any disrespect.

30. My peace over anything.

31. Time will pass anyway

32. If it’s the right time everything will be easier

33. Life keeps going with or without the people i think would stay

34. Everyone makes mistakes. Me either

35. Just because it's taking time, doesn't mean it's not happening

36. If they think they can find better, let them

37. People changes. Me either

38. Small progress is still progress

39. I don't need to understand everything

40. Growth requires discomfort

41. Im not what i thought

42. If i didn't different then nothing changes different too

43. My current self vs My old self. Don't compare myself with others cause it's not relevant

44. To be friends with me is to be privilege. And not all people have that privilege.

45. Maybe, it's a journey to finding myself, not finding a love

46. Sometimes i need to walk alone to truly find myself

47. Nobody's perfect

48. Forgive myself for not knowing what i didn't know before learning it

49. The wrong ones have to leave to make space for the right ones.

50. My new life will cost my old one

51. If it's possible for others, it's possible for me too

52. My past was a lesson, not a life sentence. Never be a prisoner

53. If i prayed for flowers don't be surprised if it starts rain

54. The way they treat me defines them. Not me

56. It has to fall apart temporarily before it falls into place permanently

58. Having boundaries is the way to have self-respect

59. The distance between my dreams and my reality is action

60. I'm much more learn from my mistakes not from theory

61. Some people won't stay

62. Words have a big power

63. It doesn't matter how good you explain yourself to others if Allah already knows how you are

64. Satu-satunya cara untuk mengetahui kita bisa apa enggak adalah dengan menjalaninya bukan dengan menebak-nebak

65. Ketakutan lahir dari ketidaktahuan dan tidak adanya persiapan

66. Jangan jadi menjadi obat bagi orang yang tidak mau sembuh

67. Terkadang, satu-satunya cara untuk bertahan adalah dengan meninggalkan

68. Tidak ada yang salah dengan menjadi lebih egois demi ketenangan dan kebahagiaan diri sendiri

69. Terkadang, respon terbaik adalah dengan tidak memberi respon

70. Menolong orang lain sama dengan menolong diri sendiri

71. My standards are never too high enough

72. I don't have to take the responsibility of everything

73. Some things are out of my control

74. I did all that i could

75. Cringe means growth too.

76. I'm stronger than i thought

78. I'm what i think

79. Love is real, because i exist

80. I deserve better

81. People are so lucky to know me

82. Never hate on previous of myself

83. I have nothing but hope

84. Be patience. Good things are coming

85. If someone isn't for me, Allah will never let me at peace with them

89. I was fine before them, i will fine after them too

90. Everything happens for a reason

91. Focus on improving not proving

92. Work in silence then let the success speak

93. Being nice doesn't mean making myself small for other people's comfort

94. Hard choice = easy life

Easy choice = hard life

95. Choose myself first before others

96. Sometimes being more heartless makes life get easier

97. Someone out there feels so grateful of meeting me

98. Wanting a sign, is a sign too.

99. I can always be a better version of my current self.

100. Look at people's actions. Not their words.

[proudhinduforever]

Went for kuldevta pooja today. My kuldevta is Maha Vishnu. The priest told me one of the precious things during sankalpa(prayer) . He told me that "God knows everything. But, just like the mother gives milk immediately when a baby cries, God gives blessings when devotees pray. So sankalpa(prayer) is very important. "

I felt it's a valid statement. I have heard one of the yogis saying the same thing. I forgot the name of the yogi.

[fortpeat]

The scene that needs to be talked about !!!

This scene has my whole heart and soul I am telling you 🥺🥺. I don't even know where to begin !

I feel like we truly forget how young Mahasamut is and that it's Tongrak who's the older one but we see a lot of patience from Mahasamut and the bratty side to Rak we truly forget that Mahasamut is just 20/21 yrs old and he is so young 🥺

(Personally I don't like calling Mahasamut as Mut coz I hate that word and if I do end up calling it's mostly through chat just coz I am lazy to type his whole name or I might just end up calling him Maha 😂. Maha means great in a lot of languages but I know it personally coz it also means great in Sanskrit!)

In this scene we start with Mahasamut telling that he has used all his lifetimes luck to have Rak with him 🥺 and one of the things I noticed is how often Maha says "someone like me" 😭😭 for all his confidence there's still a part of Maha that feels like he is not worthy of Rak's attention/affection especially when he believes that he has nothing to give in return 🥺 and when he asks Rak not to leave it came from a moment of desperation but seeing the surprise on Rak's face he takes it back believing he has no right to ask that of Rak.

The shift in their dynamics is so clear in this scene coz we see Rak acting his age by telling Maha to act his age and to just ask and he keeps caressing Maha's face and hair lovingly and I wonder if Rak even realizes hes doing that. 🥹🥹🙏

And the hesitation on Maha's face the clenched fists it all shows the battle that is going on within him that makes him want to just shut down and not ask coz this is a boy who was thrown out by his own parents at the mere age of 15 just coz he shared his love for the ocean and his creatures. He has believed that unless he is contributing useful something to the table he has no right / place to speak his mind about what he wants or needs 🥺

When he says I have nothing to offer you, I think it was very important that Rak replied back with "I want nothing from you" like it's so important Maha had to hear that from Rak. In that moment all their "transactional" jokes were nothing but dust in the air. For Rak it's a way to tell himself that this connection between them is just coz Rak is paying Maha but everyone but Rak knows that it's not true. These two yes they annoy each other, they banter and flirt but they also have these deep conversations in the middle of the night while gazing at the stars and think "why the hell did I say all that to someone whom I have known for just 2 weeks"

"If I ask and you refuse I might never dare to ask anyone again" it's true you know once we open up to someone and then when they reject or say to that part of us we might never find the courage to be that vulnerable again coz the pain of that rejection feels like a stab to our heart. It's basically telling us that this soft vulnerable part of us is not worthy of love / care. So every time after that even if we want to be vulnerable there's still a part of us that goes " what if history repeats itself again, will I be able to pick up the pieces and go through that again"

The vulnerability in Maha's face as he keeps looking at Rak and tells him that he won't prank Rak or annoy him or wake him up early 🥺 like - "I will do anything as long as you stay" and Rak replying back with "you being you is what I need" Maha needs to hear that - despite being an annoying little shit it is that very same nature that brought Rak closer to him and trust him.

Does Rak even realise how in love he looks here. The adoration and fondness his eyes convey. 🥺🥺 Their smiles when Rak agrees not to go was so cute and then the kiss attack 😭😭 (reminded me so much of Paisky I am crying more now)

MY HEART 😭😭😭 TAKE IT WILL YOU...

I want to give a standing ovation for Fortpeat coz their acting in this scene was phenomenal 😭😭 it was so so good ! Fort my baby you have brought me to tears 😭😭 (is it just me who's thinking Fort cries so prettily 🫣🫣)

This episode was so wholesome and it was everything and so much more. Fortpeat in vulnerable scenes are a league of their own !!!!

[fairuzfan]

shalom sister. i love your blog and your writing. reading your posts always fills me with fire, i can tell you have a good heart. donating to your campaign makes me feel so good because i trust you and truly you are doing gds work. anyway i wanted to ask you a question!

when i hear new things from gaza, stories of hamas doing X and IOF doing Y, i ask around and i’m not sure what parts of that story is true, if any. anyway idk what to believe all i know is that israel is committing acts of genocide and while the rest of the world is allowing this greatest evil, israel pretends that to be jewish is to be a colonizer. anyway some of my family are zionists, but i cannot sway them because they only know farsi persian and hebrew, aka only trust extremely biased sources.

anyway i am fluent in english farsi and hebrew but my arabic is trash ): so i feel like i can’t get the full picture from palestinians. all i can read are bonkers iranian papers and the disgusting zionist articles, it’s horrible because i know they’re both lying, just about different things. a palestinian opinion is the only opinion i care about right now! anyway it got me thinking. i just wanted to know if you have tips for verifying online research? or go-to non arabic websites? or even a translation app haha. i just want my family to see the truth!

shalom<3

shalom! thank you so much for reaching out, i really appreciate it.

personally, i use different sources for different material. i use middle east eye (specifically maha hussaini) and also mahmoud abusalama for videos of what it's like in the north. i use the electronic intifada interview podcasts to learn about specific things happening (i just finished watching this one about the collapse of healthcare in gaza). i would check out @northgazaupdates on here too. there's euromedmonitor as well.

and really, there are a lot of diaspora palestinians who are relaying what their family tells them, and they post on twitter a lot. someone i know does this is samah fadil. there's also @el-shab-hussein who translates things from Mona. here's mohammad smiry who is in gaza and tweets primarily in english. dr. mustafa elmasri also tweets in english too.

i would use al-jazeera, i have a fact checking guide here about any news source really. i don't use it as much but there's also the palestine chronicle. sometimes i use quds news network.

i really don't know much about hebrew media so i can't really tell you about sources i recommend there. i don't know if @bringmemyrocks or @rodeodeparis can perhaps provide some input?

i will say, if you're looking for hebrew palestinian media, i dont think there's too much because there's a ridiculous amount of censorship in '48 right now (honestly it's been going on for years atp) but what a lot of palestinians are doing is relying on internal networks. if you want, there are some israeli historians like Ilan Pappe and Avi Shlaim but I'm not sure if they write in hebrew. but they for sure write in english and provide a historical perspective from within israeli society itself.

this is what comes to mind rn honestly, but i haven't even touched on instagram because i haven't been on it in a while. i might add on later if i remember any really vital ones that i recommend.

[tastycitrus]

lmao on this video and aran's video people are asking why they keep retconning maplestory lore in the comments, but these are actually NOT instances of them retconning the story because we didn't actually know what shade or aran were doing before they joined the heroes

Yo is that EUNWOL LORE?

[imagobin]

🔯Zoldyck Family HCs🔯

I wish this had been explored more in the actual manga, because to me the Zoldyck family is one of the most intriguing things in HxH.

We did get this chart which is very interesting, but I wanted to expand on it with a couple more headcanons and speculations. Doesn't include Maha, Zigg or Grandma Zoldyck cause there's too little info on them (Seriously Zeno, where do you keep your wife?)

---

🪭Kalluto🪭

Starting with Kalluto because he's the youngest and also gets very little time to shine.

It is commonly agreed that he cares about Killua a lot and wishes he'd pay attention to him, and I think so too.

His relationship with Illumi is possibly one of mentor and apprentice, they go on missions together and Illumi supervises him to make sure he carries out assassinations properly, without toying with his victims too much.

We don't see him interacting with Milluki at all aside from flashbacks, but the two might have a pretty positive relationship. I think it still means a lot to Kalluto that his shut-in brother would take time out of his day to go on walks and play with him, even if that hasn't happened in a while.

As for his relationship with Silva and Zeno, I do like the idea of both father and grandpa being proud of Kalluto for mastering Nen at such a young age, though Silva might be a bit disappointed that Kalluto disobeyed him and became part of the Phantom Troupe.

---

🧸Alluka🧸

Such a sweetheart aaaa I wanna see more of her and Killua's future adventures.

Ever since her ability was discovered by the other members of the family, Alluka's either been used to get something (Looking at you, Milluki), or feared. Silva and Kikyo definitely fear her powers, and Zeno probably does too. Though... I have a weird feeling that unlike the rest of the family, Zeno would be like Killua and at least respect Alluka's pronouns, if she likes 'she/her', Zeno doesn't see the problem with referring to her as a girl.

I think Alluka on the other hand really wants to love the members of her family, despite how horribly they've treated her. She probably doesn't even understand why they all became so cautious around her at one point.

The only family member that Alluka does not like is Illumi for... pretty obvious reasons. Illumi isn't subtle at all with his desire to control her and her powers; plus, Illumi's hurt Killua the most, I don't think she could ever be okay with someone who's hurt her big brother so much (even by Zoldyck standards).

---

🪀Killua🪀

Not much to say about Killua since we see him interact with most of his family a bit more in-depth... aside from Kalluto-

Killua has definitely always favored Alluka over Kalluto, despite how much the youngest Zoldyck strives to get his attention. This is probably because of how close Kalluto is to his mom.

Killua finds Kikyo annoying, and definitely doesn't trust her, so since Kalluto spends a lot of time with their mother, by proxy, Killua can't bring himself to trust his younger brother either.

Aside from Alluka, whom he obviously trusts deeply, the other member of the family he trusts the most is probably his grandpa; Zeno clearly favors him and seems to be more supportive of Killua's choices compared to the rest of his family.

---

🎮Milluki🎮

Milluki my beloved, how I wish you weren't just the butt of a joke 90% of the time.

Physically speaking, he's probably the weakest Zoldyck besides Alluka, so he's most likely afraid of the other men in the family, and would definitely not want to get on their bad side.

He obeys and respects both Silva and Zeno, but I also think Milluki would like to be treated like Killua by his grandpa, that's why he shares his invention ideas with him; he wishes Zeno would praise him some.

Milluki is 100% a mama's boy, he cares about her so much, he definitely had the strongest reaction out of everyone when his mother's safety was threatened by Nanika's powers. Despite this, Kikyo doesn't seem to give him any particularly special treatment, again, that is reserved for Killua.

He's most definitely also the unlucky middle child, I think he was definitely put to the side once Killua was born; his family fully focused on Kil since he's the heir, and left Milluki to kinda do his own thing. I feel like this consequentially brought him to be jealous of Killua and all the attention he gets.

I swear he's even worse off than Kalluto, cause at least he's got his mother's love, Milluki's basically neglected even by Zoldyck standards.

---

📍Illumi📍

Man's the family's workaholic, you can't change my mind, he's also a little fucked up, but we love him for it.

He definitely cares about his whole family in his own twisted way. That includes Milluki too, they were the first two Zoldyck siblings so until Killua was born, they most definitely spent a lot of time together. Illumi doesn't really understand his brother, but he humors him.

His relationship with Kikyo is never really explored, but I see them as being definitely close, not as close as she is with Kalluto, but close. They share the same mindset when it comes to Killua. Illumi was also her first child, so she definitely poured her heart and soul into training him into being the perfect assassin, and it definitely shows.

Illumi's dynamic with his father and grandfather is definitely one of mutual respect, they may not agree on everything, but they trust each other's strength. Silva also appreciates Illumi's dedication to the family's business.

---

👒Kikyo👒

M'lady- okay no girl needs to take a chill pill, her fashion tho, on point.

Obviously her view of love is completely warped, growing up in Meteor City and marrying a world-renowned assassin didn't do her mental health many favors. But just like Illumi, she does love her kids deeply in a really twisted way.

She plays favorites, Killua and Kalluto are the ones she cares about the most, and with how dismissive of Milluki she is, he's probably her least favorite, kinda tragic since Milluki loves his mother a lot... but then we have Illumi, where does he stand? Kikyo cares about her first born child of course, she's very proud of him, and trusts him a lot with keeping Killua in check, since they seem to share opinions on how he should be trained. She wishes he'd spend more time with her for sure.

Her opinion however is way too often brushed off by Silva, not because she's a woman, but because she's not been raised like a Zoldyck, she doesn't fully know their ways, so she's not seen as a valid voice. It's an unfair treatment, and it really pisses her off.

---

☄️Silva☄️

True winner of the 'Father of the Year' award, along with Ging, great job you two.

Silva honestly has evil mastermind vibes, he cares about Killua, but also wants to constantly control him and test him in his own way (the needle was a massive proof of that). He's just a lot more subtle with it compared to Illumi and Kikyo.

He loves his wife, no doubt, even if he doesn't show it very often, I think the man is prone to small displays of love, and definitely shows it more with his actions than his words. (Him agreeing to let Alluka out of her room because he doesn't want Kikyo to die is definitely the biggest display of this we've seen canonically, he's aware of how dangerous Alluka's powers could be, but he still chose to risk the consequences of that over sacrificing his wife).

His relationship with his other kids is not really explored that much, but I believe he's mostly satisfied with all of them. I don't think he's super disappointed in Milluki either, but he definitely doesn't expect much of him, he does wish he'd take things more seriously.

---

🐲Zeno🐲

My favorite anime old man! I really wish people would pay more attention to him, he's cool as hell.

Zeno is probably the most chill man in the family, maybe cause he's old, but he's definitely the least likely to snap back at any of his family members.

He has a very strong set of morals, with him not wanting to cause any unnecessary deaths and all. I feel like because of this, he silently disapproves of Illumi's ways, especially regarding his Needle People, and the older brother's desire to control Killua.

Zeno doesn't really think much of Kikyo, he acknowledges her skills and such, but doesn't really go out of his way to interact with her. These two have definitely had their disagreements, mostly because Zeno tends to act on his own without consulting anyone, let alone her, which inevitably angers Kikyo.

He is quite proud of all his grandchildren, even if he's mostly focused on Killua. Much like Silva, he is happy that Kalluto mastered Nen at such a young age. He also sees more potential in Milluki, but wishes he was more committed to the family's business and used his genius to its full potential.

---

[jentlemahae]

nct could do something like the eras tour but with units instead of eras

[frances-baby-houseman]

Here is a little tip for you from me about uh scrolling:

I love instagram. I love tumblr. I used to love twitter! I believe these are tools to build and maintain friendships!!

But they can also ruin your life! One little thing I have been doing to manage my consumption, particularly on instagram, is I ONLY let myself look at my feed. I can look and engage as much as I want-- no time limit-- but only at posts and stories from people I actually elected to follow.

It really makes a difference, bc the algorithm is insane. You start just thinking you're gonna look at a video of taylor swift eras tour and 8 videos later you're watching a maha lady with a giant bun on her head talk about electron poisoning from water or some nonsense. It's insidious!

use it as a real social network: the network you choose to engage with. get out of the explore tab! the explore tab is evil!!

[hazellevessque]

WINTER HAS BEEN COMPLETED HOORAY

This book was so long lmao. I was thinking about it and it’s technically the longest book I’ve ever read. However it was 10000% worth it

This book also took me a lot longer to read because school started again and then the new PJO book came out and obviously I had to drop everything for that

Anyways I said that I thought I was going to love Winter and I was RIGHT. THAT IS MY GIRL. MY DAUGHTER!!

Also everyone telling me that I would love Winter because I said that Scarlet had sapphic energy…yeah

Kai and Cinder being a canon couple <33 I love them

Also Kai/Throne friendship?? I would like 20 of them immediately

I GASPED when Winter said that Jacin killed Ryu. Literally choked on air omg

Also CRESSWELL!! I remember on my Cress thoughts post everyone was like “yeah there’s this theory that Throne is 18” and I took it and RAN with it. They give me life I love how awkward they were in this book

The chapter where Winter used her glamour on Scarlet…I don’t think I’ve ever talked about how good the writing it in this series but the WRITINGGG

And those last few chapters with Levana and Cinder in the throne room?? My flabber was gasted my dumb was struck

I had this whole theory when Levana’s glamour went down and Cinder was like “those are burns omg” that Levana was actually Channary but alas. However still a banger backstory I’m really excited to read Fairest

And RIP Maha Kesley. I was so excited to meet Wolf’s family and then she died and I was like “WHAT THE FUCKKK”

Im also really happy that Cinder chose to abolish the monarchy because the entire series I was like “But is becoming Queen really the BEST thing for her??” and then she chose to abdicate and I was like “yeah that sounds right”

Still love Iko

I’m sure I have more thoughts but my mind is still in shock and I can’t really think straight so I’m gonna end it here

Also my sister started reading the series!! She literally JUST finished Cress which is a reason I was like “ok I have to finish this book in the next two days” because it would be hard reading the same book at the same time lol. (Yes she was able to read all three books in the time it took me to read this book. I’ve been busy and she had to read the books for school so she was reading it quicker)

Tags: @writergracethepanda @liaazhang @qylinscafvne @typingwithmyhandstied @winterrhayle

@permanently-stressed @caliburn-the-sword @livie1507 @silverstarssart @desi-hijabi-bookworm

[mins-fins]

something — [ mahae — 엔시티. ]

where it's a usual dooming situation, your good old powder keg that'll result in chaos | now playing ☁︎

mark lee is absolutely doomed.

which, in hindsight, is completely foreseeable. it's a little irrelevant to the current motion of this overly dramatic festivity. if there's one thing your family loves, it's a good party. the guest list is packed with quite literally every patron settled in your neighborhood, ranging from the decades old family friends to the barely perched neighbors who probably only accepted the invite because it they wouldn't have to cook for the night.

and of course, they drag, they drag for so long that mark has become accustomed to staying up late on literal school nights. it was a little bit of a shocker to eight year old mark when he was allowed to tag along to one of your parents' overly excited outings with his eyes staying open past eight pm.

they throw parties for every single occasion, but this one is especially important, because you're home. your parents are anything but lazy, they decorated as if you had come back from serving for your country, in reality, you had just studied overseas for a good half a year.

communication over technology wasn't easy for them, so the moment you got back, they made sure to remind everybody of your presence. the party soon came around the corner, and now.. here we are.

it isn't as if mark didn't see you for a whole year and a half, the attachment you have is.. special, still, the whole occasion instates a feeling of longing he doesn't exactly know the specific origins of.

"are they really giving out gift cards? it's not like you enlisted or something.." mark mutters, pouring lemonade from the large glass jug into a mere cup.

"you know how they are, one year without me and they go crazy" your laughter is pretty, the small nudge you offer mark along the lines of an affectionate gesture.

"they're a little too attached aren't they?"

"normal for parents" you again share another smile with him, rolling your eyes. mark listens as you begin exchanging greetings with many familiar faces, as they again act as if you'd left forever. it was just a year.

maybe mark just doesn't get it.

he clears his throat at the lack of attention, but he can't exactly control the volume of his action, which results in you turning your head towards him. heat immediately coils along his skin, a tint of red spreading across his cheeks. he sneaks a glance peripherally, but you're already looking.

god you look enamored by him.

it's so stupid, maybe mark is just looking at it through rose tinted glasses. you're just naturally like that, the stupid fucking enraptured looks you share with everyone are just that, looks. you don't even realize the extent of your affect, mark is absolutely going crazy.

the jewelry hanging around your neck shines under the light of the barely peeking sunlight, and you straighten your posture as you sigh. "you missed me right?"

mark narrowly holds back his true words, opting for a feigned reply of stubbornness; "barely".

"sure mark" you offer your hand for him to take, and the stubborn front doesn't last for long, the intertwining of your fingers is smooth, soft, an action performed so many times that it becomes it's own trademark.

you glance down at your wrist watch, nose scrunching. "hyuck is gonna be late".

mark assumes his glare must be hidden by the fleeting euphoria of his own eyes. why talk about donghyuck when he's right here holding your hand? isn't mark enough for you?

okay, that's too much, an entitled way of thinking.

he hums instead.

your smile reaches your eyes. "okay, enough about everything else, what did you get up to while my angelic presence was absent?"

"don't be so full of yourself" mark whispers, just barely hears over the feat of childish laughter filling the outside air. "i did what i usually do, got a new job at the huang's ice cream place, made music on my laptop.."

"same hobbies?"

"same hobbies".

your laughter is laced with elation, maybe mark would actually be able to focus if you weren't so pretty. you don't even have to do anything, what kind of a person has a melodic rhythm to their laugh? one that is so pleasant it makes the recipient feel as if they now have to purposefully crack jokes?

"this new color fits you" you swipe your index finger against a single strand, removing his hand and ruffling the rest with your fingers. "and this hat is stupid".

mark frowns, but he then snickers. "chose the first thing i could find".

"green doesn't fit with the atmosphere" in the most hypocritical chess move, you place the hat atop your head, whistling as you level at your best friend with a inquiring glance. "looks better on me right?"

mark sucks his teeth in a feat that isn't genuine irritation. you lean just the slightest bit closer, and mark again takes in your close up facial features. your identical moles and the shape of your eyes, yeah, nothing's really changed, you've always been just as beautiful up close.

it'd be a good time to kiss you.

but mark can't give into his desires so blatantly, not in this huge expanse of a backyard, not while both your parents stand no more than a few feet away, not with eyes clearly burning through the back of his head.

but is it mark's fault you look so kissable?

no, he doesn't think so.

"never" mark attempts to swipe the hat back, but you avoid his hand, a muttered curse leaving his lips as yours turn upward in retaliation. there's a gleam of victory shining behind your eyes, and even with the vexation, mark finds you so.. gosh he can't even explain it. would attractive be the correct word?

"hey, let me keep it for a while okay?"

"y/n".

you shrug your shoulders as you begin walking towards the snack table, a small breath escaping mark in reply. he trails behind you with a smile concealed by his petty anger, your whistling filling the air. "it's my welcome back party!"

see? mark lee is most definitely doomed, he can barely even keep his irritation at a seemingly natural level when it comes to you. you're just too..

"hey, you know jeno's asking for you right?"

mark gets brought back to reality by your words, and he again takes your hand in a rushed moment he can't even explain himself. you pause as you stare, but you don't mention it, simply chuckle. "jeno is obsessed".

"come on, let's go".

absolutely doomed, he won't be able to recover.

lee donghyuck seems to have a much easier time.

it's the same old story, yet he has a high advantage in comparison to everyone else. charm is everything, he's learned that well enough, and he's charming to most.

he's adored by your parents, his immediate toothy grin practically put them in the palm of his hand. is it really that manipulative if it was all natural? seven year olds can't exactly manipulate the adults around them.

they love a good party, and so do his own parents. if not for opportunity to get drunk, but also so they can drag him out without receiving a no.

and the only reason they wouldn't receive a no is because you're the center of the discussion.

"oh you dyed your hair now?"

donghyuck's eyes glimmer in something he can only describe as euphoric, it's completely your fault. all your fault, who gives you the right to have such a pretty smile?

your gaze zeroes in on his black hair, and you yelp as donghyuck almost lifts you from the ground with the sheer force of his hug. "y/nie!"

if it was a usual day you'd complain about the volume of his voice, but you'll give him a pass. he starts with his onslaught of attacks, if the cheek kiss was crazy, then neck kisses can only be described as outrageous.

but those are all regular donghyuck actions, you can barely be perturbed by his uncanny proceedings at this point, knowing him for so long does that to a person. you simply him and lean back, whistling. "okay, okay, calm down hyuckie".

donghyuck simply smiles, feigned innocence behind those fierce eyes. "sorry for the lateness, i had a thing".

"oh i don't care, i missed you".

well that's just lovely.

it's a contrast to how mark sees all of it, it isn't usual for donghyuck to get tripped up by the easiest of things. you're pretty, he can admit that, but anyone with two good eyes can see that. you could look smitten by any little thing, you could stare enchanted by any person (and maybe there's one particular person donghyuck loathes in specific), those aren't anything.

but maybe it's the way you speak that has a tint appearing on his face. you've always articulated your words in a way that could make anyone beam, donghyuck wants to gatekeep them sometimes.

"aww, really, i knew it!"

you stay stuck on the strands of his hair, your index finger twirling a strand. he blinks, yet he manages to keep his composure. he can't give himself away, not while your standing so close. "both you and mark dyed your hair.."

mark. that's funny. why talk about mark when donghyuck is right here? right here for you to admire with his eyes blinking a look of fondness right at you. "oh, so you've seen mark already?"

"mark always comes early".

donghyuck doesn't care that much about mark, shouldn't it be about him now? call him self centered or whatever, but he thinks when he's in front of you, talking about mark is just.. stupid.

"enough about other things, how was portugal?"

his arm comes to link with yours, the press of your bodies together completely intentional. maybe mark will see, he hopes mark will see, donghyuck does like to think of himself as the superior one in this little competition of theirs.

you shrug as you again begin whistling, your ramble starts off with a comment about the country's scenery. donghyuck won't communicate it verbally, but he missed you too, missed your cute little giggles and the pauses in between your detailed rambles. he doesn't think of himself as doomed in the same manner as mark, no, he's the one with a real chance, isn't he?

you cut yourself off with a small laugh as you mutter something funny midway through your story, and you lightly nudge donghyuck. his eyes flitter upward, catching your own in the process.

the glow of your eyes is full of bewitchment. it should be illegal for you to stare at anyone like that, can anyone really blame donghyuck for feeling the way he feels when you stare like that? it's not unheard of to develop feelings for a childhood friend, especially when said childhood friend is so.. lovely.

lovely is the best word he can think of for this.

"are you going back next year?"

"yeah, i'm only around for the summer, i've gotten much too involved".

donghyuck's jaw clenches momentarily, but he masquerades it as uncomfortableness at the flies swirling around him. "okay then, let's make sure we spend good time together this summer".

you hum in reply, laughing at some unintelligible thought in your mind as you again stare at your friend.

donghyuck usually isn't a weak man, really, a mere smile can't render him bashful.

your eyes hold universes that he wishes to get lost in.

would it be so bad to kiss you in the moment?

he presses his own lips together, thoughts steady in his mind.

is it really donghyuck's fault you look so kissable?

absolutely not.

he almost gave in to the desire of being reckless, but his worst nightmare (hyperbole) comes rounding the corner in a feat of a few seconds.

"listen, they're too spicy, you know i don't have a good tolerance" mark's mumble stretches until he glances up and catches sight of the particular scene.

there's a hint of his eye twitching, donghyuck narrowly holds back his own giggle, it's invigorating how mark gets pissed off. he then smiles at the sight of you, even if the irritation slowly slips through. "hi donghyuck".

"mark! it's been a while hasn't it?"

it's only to get a scowl from him, the hug is simply an action he knows will get a kick, but mark can't display such vexation so clearly around you, he knows better than to ruin a party because of childish jealousy. he frowns in your direction, and you snicker, completely oblivious to his genuine turmoil.

"y/n told me he's here all summer".

"yeah i know it's just.." mark's face scrunches as he shoves donghyuck backward, though gently enough that his true animosity is hidden enough. "i was looking for you for like twenty minutes".

"well i didn't run away or anything, i just found him and i missed him so" you roll your eyes, poking donghyuck in the shoulder. mark clears his throat, and you level at him with a look of indifference.

you whistle, observing the lights your parents decided to hang up, knowing this party would go on for longer than it was supposed to. your hands settle behind your back, gaze remaining upward. "it's been a while since it was just the three of us huh?"

reminiscing about old times is the one thing you can't help but do, under the bright lights and surrounded by people you've know for.. forever just brings out something saddening in you.

mark's glare settles, but he avoids donghyuck's eyes. you blink as you stare at him, but then you shake your head. "anyway, i think my mom would be happy to know your here, come on" you nudge donghyuck forward with your shoulder, and there's barely anything behind mark's eyes as he watches the scene.

but before you walk away, you then turn back to look at him, eyebrows furrowing. "mark" you start softly, offering a pinch to donghyuck's shoulder that draws a wince. "come" you motion your head forward, basically telling mark to tag along.

and really, who is mark to disagree?

maybe the two could shut up for once, they could be civil, it's not like it's out of this world.

it's for your sake, they can save the chaotic blow for another time.