#just kryptonian things

[super-oddity]

tfw ur dad hides a spaceship from u

[radioactive-earthshine]

Re: Kryptonians and knots.

I need Konbart locked together and unable to respond in an emergency.

Kon: Sorry Tim, I cannot disengage in this uh… current activity.

Tim: What?

Bart: giggles.

Tim: Oh my God.

[weedle-testaburger]

this is another really nice touch: kara clinging to the last piece of brainiac that survived because even though he was a horrendous father figure, he was still kinda the only father figure she had, so she feels conflicted about having to kill him

[wisteriavines]

“You’re my kryptonite.”

“You did not just say I am so toxic to your health that me staying in your life could kill you. Is this your way of breaking up with me!?”

[bruciemilf]

Hello! I love the Kryptonian dad au and was wondering if you had any more headcanons you wouldn’t mind sharing for it? I was also wondering how well Clark and Bruce’s kids would get along later?

!!!!

So, for context, kryptonian Daddy AU is about dilf Clark, whose baby crashes into Gotham, right in the arms of reclusive single father Bruce Wayne.

While Clark (understandably) goes on a murderous, protective rampage in search for his baby, Bruce looks at that and thinks. Hot.

My favorite headcanon atm is that Jon's a little troublemaker and drags Dick, Tim, and Jay all over the city. A baby that can fly is a parents' worst nightmare. Not for Clark. He actually has fun.

"Jon punched Bane in the face. It was awesome."

Can anyone blame Bruce for premature balding? No, i don't think so.

[echoing-gravity]

Can Marinette Bench press a building?!

(Ladybugs, also known as lady beetles or ladybird beetles, are able to carry objects that are up to 1,000 times their own weight due to the unique structure of their exoskeletons. An exoskeleton is an external protective covering that provides support and protection to the insect's body. This covering is made up of a material called chitin, which is a strong and lightweight polymer. The exoskeleton also gives ladybugs their characteristic shiny, hard shells. Ladybugs use their powerful leg muscles to lift and carry heavy objects, such as large leaves or other insects. The unique structure of their exoskeleton allows them to distribute the load evenly across their body, making it possible for them to carry heavy objects without being weighed down. Additionally, their strong legs and other muscles are equipped to sustain this weight too)

But like with her legs???

I wanna see a MLB x DC fic where Marinette is working with young justice and like a building fucking falls on them but marinette just fucking kicks it away. Or picks it up. Itd be even more absurdly funny if she wasn't transformed and the super strength is like a kwami side effect.

WHAT IS MARINETTES WEIGHT? IS THERE A CANNON ANSWER??? DO I HAVE TO PULL A MATPAT AND DO PIXEL MEASUREMENT MATHAMATICAL BULLSHIT???? I WANNA KNOW IF SHE CAN LOFT A BUILDING OR NOT!!!

[pseudo-hero]

In the same spirit as the bottom of my "Comics!Clex Plot Connection?" post, here's another (sort of serious) Clex/SuperTie Translation:

Lex Luthor: "You and I could make a pretty lovin—I mean, great pair, I think. A wonderful not-couple. Don't you think? Pretty please say you do! We could save each other."

Superman: *Pretends to not have already made up his mind* "Listen Lex, I want to be able to hold you believe in you so badly...which is why I came here to ask you...if you would be...my partner in stopping crime?"

Lex Luthor: "...What...? Oh...! I thought you'd never ask! I mean—I knew you'd eventually come around to see things my way...my love."

[chasm-side]

New DC fanfic trope:

A non-meta character discovers they do have a metahuman ability. It's the power to temporarily gain one (1) superpower from any meta they sleep with. And no, they do not get to choose which power it is.

[weird-tea]

So the Kryptonian naming culture seems to have this thing where boys just have the family name but girls have their father's name then the family name (Eg. Superman is Kal El while Supergirl is Kara Zor-El, Zor El being her father). So he's my question, if Superboy Conner Kent/Kon El had been born a girl or turned out to be trans what would her surname be? Who's her daddy? They are a clone of superman with Kex Luthor's DNA also in there. Does the clone thing mean technically her parental line goes back to Superman's parents, so Kon Jor-El (feel there is an argument for this since superman's parents the Kent's take Kon in not Superman himself implying a sibling dynamic on the tree) or is it Kon Kal-El because there's also an argument Superman is the father, or are we in Kon Lex-El or even Kon Lex-Luthor territory with this? Or even Kon John-Kent?

Superboy being a boy means he can just be given the El and Kent names to signify being in the family without specifically saying how he fits in, but if this situation happened with a girl they would have to make a specific call in terms of paternal parentage.

[un-pearable]

krypton is a gaping hole in kal-el.

clark kent is, according to his driver’s license and his about me blurb that prints increasingly smaller on his corner of the new dailyplanet.com, a classic sweetheart from western kansas with a bachelors in journalism and a one bedroom half bath three streets and a bus ride away from the daily planet in the heart of downtown metropolis. clark kent is celebrating his recent win - getting the printer to work without the hinge suffering a sheer fracture - with an extra sugar packet in his second cup of joe for the day and humoring his next desk neighbor’s heckling over it.

kal-el — superman — is the man receiving the mayor’s accolades with the world and the laser focused glare of the police chief weighing on his shoulders. according to, kal-el is,

clark kent is the well-meaning dork who never quite grew into his size and was bullied in high school, when asked he recounts being too sickly to join the football team and too unpopular to get over it. clark kent arrives early and works late to work off his four and a half years of student loan debt. clark kent has childhood friends, and an ex-girlfriend, and a budding romance with the abrasive, dyslexic, isn’t-she-just-lovely lois lane at the desk next to him who’s recently recruited him as her partner-in-foiling-crime.

superman — kal-el — has a baby blanket wrapped around his shoulders, a hunk of metal in a barn a couple thousand miles away, and a name with syllables even his mother can’t pronounce. a logo on his chest that he does not know and a dedication to love and truth and saving that is deeply, entirely human.

krypton is an aching absence in kal-el. krypton is the word he carries in his mind for when he fumbles his keys and almost breaks the doorknob, for when he hunches and smears his glasses. krypton is the lack of an explanation. krypton is, simply put, not. krypton is to kal-el not what kansas is to clark kent. kansas excuses the overfriendliness and the impromptu vacation days “to care for his ailing mother” and the handiness with a tractor. krypton is the torch they carry alongside their pitchforks when the bludgeoning begins. krypton is the response when the tragedy is unpreventable, when the wariness pitches into fear.

krypton is the world he holds in his heart when he can’t help but wonder. krypton is the sword his enemies hold over his head — a condemnation, a promise, a hope — and lord over him. the world is trapped in memories not his own, preserved in the perverted motives of those who would trade lives for tradition.

krypton is, later, eventually, a bridge. kal-el, an ambassador from a culture he’s borrowed to the one he was fated. clark kent, a haven. krypton is a girl in a spaceship of her own, fleeing from a krypton that was.

[bat-in-the-machine]

I am really loving writing Miraculous World Tour: Gotham. Mixing superhero media reminds me of my childhood when we would play with every toy we could get our hands on. GI Joe action figures. Go-bots. Transformers. Real Ghostbusters figures. Zoids. It did not matter. If it was made of plastic, it was a part of the game.

ANYWAY, in the latest chapter, Kara and Marinette go on an actual date, but it's interrupted by a jealous competitor. (Preview after the cut as usual.)

-snip-

"Seriously, Maxima, what are you doing?" Supergirl said, expression and voice somewhere between exasperated and furious.

"I am competing for your affections." Maxima frowned. "Was that not clear?"

Supergirl's eyes widened. "What made you think that this would win my affections?"

Maxima frowned. "It is irrelevant," she said. "The human woman is an obstacle."

"An obstacle to what?!" Supergirl yelled, then took a breath and asked again, more calmly.

"She says that you are betrothed," Marinette said, now that she had an opportunity to regain her breath.

Supergirl stared at Marinette, then turned around to Maxima. "We're what?! When were you planning on telling me this?"

"It was implied!" The Almeracian Queen said angrily, and launched herself at Supergirl faster than the human eye could see. The impact of her punch against Supergirl's crossed forearms sent out a blast wave of compressed air that rocked the street, sending cars skidding along the asphalt and launching people into nearby walls with enough force to severely injure them. Marinette, being closer than the rest, was slammed into the corner of a skyscraper before careening into an alley to punch through the steel side of a dumpster.

[ivy-and-ivory]

Honestly would not put it past Bruce to have invented some kind of worldwide mass hypnosis-inator that makes it impossible for anyone to connect the dots of the League’s secret identities without being told. And then he just. Doesn’t tell anyone about it. For years.

Like everyone in the League with a secret identity is just going about their daily lives, taking constant precautions to try and conceal their superpowers, and it’s just completely unnecessary because Bruce has this little machine in his basement constantly covering their asses. And nobody knows this.

Until one day Clark is hanging out in the Batcave and he spots it and asks Bruce about it, and eventually gets Bruce to explain what it is. And then Clark is just like:… ok. WHAT???

Bruce: hmm.

Clark: DON’T HMM me asshole; I repeat, WHAT?????

Bruce: Clark. Your disguise is a pair of glasses. This was a necessary precaution.

Clark: Hey! There is more to it than that, I-

Bruce: A pair. Of glasses.

Clark: It’s Not. Just. A pair. Of glasses!!! And it’s been working just fine so far!!

Bruce: *eyeing the invention* Yes. I wonder why that is.

Clark: isidjwjqk well why haven’t you told anyone about this??? Don’t you think it would have been useful information for the League to have??!

Bruce: Clark. Again. Your current disguise is a pair. of. glasses. Hal regularly uses the Lantern ring to commute to work if he’s running late. And Oliver wears a domino mask every night, but at seemingly no point has it occurred to him that maybe covering up the most distinctive facial hair in the whole country could be more useful. You are all terrible at this. This tech is intended as a backup measure; I wasn’t about to tell the League and allow the knowledge to make you even sloppier. Even my inventions have limits.

Clark: Quick question, how thick are the walls in this cave? Trying to figure out how much force I’d need to use to Throw You Through One

Bruce: You’re welcome, by the way.

Clark: … *valiantly represses the by now familiar urge to strangle Bruce*

Clark: …ok, but - wait. Wait. If you knew you had this, and that no one was going to figure out your secret identity…what’s with the whole Brucie act???

Bruce…

Clark: Bruce?!! You’ve been acting like a complete idiot?? In front of the whole world??? For decades???? And you DIDN’T HAVE TO???

Bruce:…

Clark: …WHY?!?!! Why would you do that????

Bruce:…

Bruce:…

Bruce:…

Bruce: Stress relief

[mamawasatesttube]

i feel like ppl push back against geoff's narrative by claiming he was the first to posit kon being actually kryptonian but this is just not true............. sb94 itself and wf3 both heavily imply/outright state that kon is a clone of superman with a small amount of stabilizing dna from paul westfield. this is an internal inconsistency with his established intro in rots and adventures of superman, but it's still like. in text stated. just look at hypertension arc. black zero talks explicitly about all the kons across the timelines being clones of superman who simply haven't grown into their full powers yet. geoff isn't the originator of this idea y'all he just retconned the human dna donor into lex instead of paul.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Clark: i dont have any idea whats going on but i DO know one thing and its that this woman is trying to hurt Wally's kid and thats not gonna fly

Man poor Clark. Dude is trying so hard to understand and help out but he's just... so slow. The man is like living molasses in Flash Time.

From his perspective it was just a normal day then giant spaceships came out of nowhere and suddenly there is an army of blurs and he just starts teleporting from place to place before he can even register the locations.

Then suddenly he's with familiar blurs, ones clad in red and yellow. Their forms fading in and out like hummingbird wings, voices more akin to mice squeaking than actual language. If he didn't have his superhearing and his ability to hear inhumanly high pitches, he wouldn't have a chance at understanding them. They try to stay still long enough for Clark to talk to them.

He says "What is going-" and then they're gone again. He didn't even finish the question.

Then there's just one blur around. Small, orangey-red at the top, must be Wally's daughter Irey. Before he can even register that information she's being choked by some unknown blur halfway across the room. Something touches his hands and he doesn't even have time to look at them, he just grabs. He was desperate at this point. Good or bad, whoever this was they were staying put until Clark got some answers.

Anyway I think it's very funny that the Kryptonians are aware that something is happening. But they can't do anything about it. It must be incredibly frustrating and confusing to them.

They can hear the screams of the people who died and the people who are trapped in rubble. They would have seen/heard the spaceships come in. They came in at a normal speed so they would have had time to react to that. They know it's an alien invasion, they know people are dying and they know that they can't help.

[luthwhore]

still angry that despite how much batman was in the smallville s11 comic, bqm went out of his way to not only not put dick grayson in the comic, but to give a different character the nightwing mantle and completely disregard the idea of the name "nightwing" coming from kryptonian lore. all the random comic nonsense bqm insisted on shoving into the smallville comics but the ONE THING that would have actually MADE SENSE to do, aka establishing dick grayson's admiration of superman and clark being almost as influential to him as batman, not only didn't happen but explicitly can't happen within the smallville canon because bqm wanted to be quirky and make a girl nightwing without considering the actual history of the mantle.

[clambuoyance]

I'm gonna be honest. I forget canon kon is white now because I only consume fanon content most of the time so I'm like. yeah this is kon! and then I see a comic screenshot and get whiplash cuz my brain thinks ur version is correct

before i actually read the comics literally every kon i saw was poc so my mind was just like oh okay this is definitely gonna affect my brain perception of this character 🙏

headcanoning is a very interesting concept because it can add a layer or recontextualize canon but you also have to keep in mind that canon will contradict your hcs sometimes because it doesnt have the things that make things like a sexuality or ethnicity unique, if that makes sense (well duh, it was written by primarily cishet white men who are writing from a specific lens). for example, the smallville setting is very white in my opinion and if canon kon actually wasnt white then the story might have had a new layer of storytelling to explore. but his feeling of intense out-of-placeness and the struggle with identity is something that is very relatable to me so oops if i let a lil projection slip out you know? and the fact the superfam are immigrants and kon’s journey with proving he’s worthy of being a kryptonian and worthy of being a super? it’s just sooo relatable. i definitely tend to attach myself to these type of stories. if you were to ask me to write an official dc comic of him id comply with his real canon but there’d definitely be subtext id sprinkle in for people like me to relate to if ur looking for it🤷🏻‍♀️

however it’s also good to actually read stories that were built with these lenses and intentions rather than just hcs because those stories will take that potential where it needs to go.

sorry that was very rambly 💀