#just kryptonian things

[super-oddity]

tfw ur dad hides a spaceship from u

[science-lings]

regardless of the answer, every single one of them get a moment where they realize that 'oh shit, I sound like my dad'

[radioactive-earthshine]

Re: Kryptonians and knots.

I need Konbart locked together and unable to respond in an emergency.

Kon: Sorry Tim, I cannot disengage in this uh… current activity.

Tim: What?

Bart: giggles.

Tim: Oh my God.

[weedle-testaburger]

this is another really nice touch: kara clinging to the last piece of brainiac that survived because even though he was a horrendous father figure, he was still kinda the only father figure she had, so she feels conflicted about having to kill him

[wisteriavines]

“You’re my kryptonite.”

“You did not just say I am so toxic to your health that me staying in your life could kill you. Is this your way of breaking up with me!?”

[loverboybrightsideghost]

one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.

[bruciemilf]

Hello! I love the Kryptonian dad au and was wondering if you had any more headcanons you wouldn’t mind sharing for it? I was also wondering how well Clark and Bruce’s kids would get along later?

!!!!

So, for context, kryptonian Daddy AU is about dilf Clark, whose baby crashes into Gotham, right in the arms of reclusive single father Bruce Wayne.

While Clark (understandably) goes on a murderous, protective rampage in search for his baby, Bruce looks at that and thinks. Hot.

My favorite headcanon atm is that Jon's a little troublemaker and drags Dick, Tim, and Jay all over the city. A baby that can fly is a parents' worst nightmare. Not for Clark. He actually has fun.

"Jon punched Bane in the face. It was awesome."

Can anyone blame Bruce for premature balding? No, i don't think so.

[echoing-gravity]

Can Marinette Bench press a building?!

(Ladybugs, also known as lady beetles or ladybird beetles, are able to carry objects that are up to 1,000 times their own weight due to the unique structure of their exoskeletons. An exoskeleton is an external protective covering that provides support and protection to the insect's body. This covering is made up of a material called chitin, which is a strong and lightweight polymer. The exoskeleton also gives ladybugs their characteristic shiny, hard shells. Ladybugs use their powerful leg muscles to lift and carry heavy objects, such as large leaves or other insects. The unique structure of their exoskeleton allows them to distribute the load evenly across their body, making it possible for them to carry heavy objects without being weighed down. Additionally, their strong legs and other muscles are equipped to sustain this weight too)

But like with her legs???

I wanna see a MLB x DC fic where Marinette is working with young justice and like a building fucking falls on them but marinette just fucking kicks it away. Or picks it up. Itd be even more absurdly funny if she wasn't transformed and the super strength is like a kwami side effect.

WHAT IS MARINETTES WEIGHT? IS THERE A CANNON ANSWER??? DO I HAVE TO PULL A MATPAT AND DO PIXEL MEASUREMENT MATHAMATICAL BULLSHIT???? I WANNA KNOW IF SHE CAN LOFT A BUILDING OR NOT!!!

[pseudo-hero]

In the same spirit as the bottom of my "Comics!Clex Plot Connection?" post, here's another (sort of serious) Clex/SuperTie Translation:

Lex Luthor: "You and I could make a pretty lovin—I mean, great pair, I think. A wonderful not-couple. Don't you think? Pretty please say you do! We could save each other."

Superman: *Pretends to not have already made up his mind* "Listen Lex, I want to be able to hold you believe in you so badly...which is why I came here to ask you...if you would be...my partner in stopping crime?"

Lex Luthor: "...What...? Oh...! I thought you'd never ask! I mean—I knew you'd eventually come around to see things my way...my love."

[weird-tea]

So the Kryptonian naming culture seems to have this thing where boys just have the family name but girls have their father's name then the family name (Eg. Superman is Kal El while Supergirl is Kara Zor-El, Zor El being her father). So he's my question, if Superboy Conner Kent/Kon El had been born a girl or turned out to be trans what would her surname be? Who's her daddy? They are a clone of superman with Kex Luthor's DNA also in there. Does the clone thing mean technically her parental line goes back to Superman's parents, so Kon Jor-El (feel there is an argument for this since superman's parents the Kent's take Kon in not Superman himself implying a sibling dynamic on the tree) or is it Kon Kal-El because there's also an argument Superman is the father, or are we in Kon Lex-El or even Kon Lex-Luthor territory with this? Or even Kon John-Kent?

Superboy being a boy means he can just be given the El and Kent names to signify being in the family without specifically saying how he fits in, but if this situation happened with a girl they would have to make a specific call in terms of paternal parentage.

[un-pearable]

krypton is a gaping hole in kal-el.

clark kent is, according to his driver’s license and his about me blurb that prints increasingly smaller on his corner of the new dailyplanet.com, a classic sweetheart from western kansas with a bachelors in journalism and a one bedroom half bath three streets and a bus ride away from the daily planet in the heart of downtown metropolis. clark kent is celebrating his recent win - getting the printer to work without the hinge suffering a sheer fracture - with an extra sugar packet in his second cup of joe for the day and humoring his next desk neighbor’s heckling over it.

kal-el — superman — is the man receiving the mayor’s accolades with the world and the laser focused glare of the police chief weighing on his shoulders. according to, kal-el is,

clark kent is the well-meaning dork who never quite grew into his size and was bullied in high school, when asked he recounts being too sickly to join the football team and too unpopular to get over it. clark kent arrives early and works late to work off his four and a half years of student loan debt. clark kent has childhood friends, and an ex-girlfriend, and a budding romance with the abrasive, dyslexic, isn’t-she-just-lovely lois lane at the desk next to him who’s recently recruited him as her partner-in-foiling-crime.

superman — kal-el — has a baby blanket wrapped around his shoulders, a hunk of metal in a barn a couple thousand miles away, and a name with syllables even his mother can’t pronounce. a logo on his chest that he does not know and a dedication to love and truth and saving that is deeply, entirely human.

krypton is an aching absence in kal-el. krypton is the word he carries in his mind for when he fumbles his keys and almost breaks the doorknob, for when he hunches and smears his glasses. krypton is the lack of an explanation. krypton is, simply put, not. krypton is to kal-el not what kansas is to clark kent. kansas excuses the overfriendliness and the impromptu vacation days “to care for his ailing mother” and the handiness with a tractor. krypton is the torch they carry alongside their pitchforks when the bludgeoning begins. krypton is the response when the tragedy is unpreventable, when the wariness pitches into fear.

krypton is the world he holds in his heart when he can’t help but wonder. krypton is the sword his enemies hold over his head — a condemnation, a promise, a hope — and lord over him. the world is trapped in memories not his own, preserved in the perverted motives of those who would trade lives for tradition.

krypton is, later, eventually, a bridge. kal-el, an ambassador from a culture he’s borrowed to the one he was fated. clark kent, a haven. krypton is a girl in a spaceship of her own, fleeing from a krypton that was.

[bat-in-the-machine]

I am really loving writing Miraculous World Tour: Gotham. Mixing superhero media reminds me of my childhood when we would play with every toy we could get our hands on. GI Joe action figures. Go-bots. Transformers. Real Ghostbusters figures. Zoids. It did not matter. If it was made of plastic, it was a part of the game.

ANYWAY, in the latest chapter, Kara and Marinette go on an actual date, but it's interrupted by a jealous competitor. (Preview after the cut as usual.)

-snip-

"Seriously, Maxima, what are you doing?" Supergirl said, expression and voice somewhere between exasperated and furious.

"I am competing for your affections." Maxima frowned. "Was that not clear?"

Supergirl's eyes widened. "What made you think that this would win my affections?"

Maxima frowned. "It is irrelevant," she said. "The human woman is an obstacle."

"An obstacle to what?!" Supergirl yelled, then took a breath and asked again, more calmly.

"She says that you are betrothed," Marinette said, now that she had an opportunity to regain her breath.

Supergirl stared at Marinette, then turned around to Maxima. "We're what?! When were you planning on telling me this?"

"It was implied!" The Almeracian Queen said angrily, and launched herself at Supergirl faster than the human eye could see. The impact of her punch against Supergirl's crossed forearms sent out a blast wave of compressed air that rocked the street, sending cars skidding along the asphalt and launching people into nearby walls with enough force to severely injure them. Marinette, being closer than the rest, was slammed into the corner of a skyscraper before careening into an alley to punch through the steel side of a dumpster.

[mamawasatesttube]

i feel like ppl push back against geoff's narrative by claiming he was the first to posit kon being actually kryptonian but this is just not true............. sb94 itself and wf3 both heavily imply/outright state that kon is a clone of superman with a small amount of stabilizing dna from paul westfield. this is an internal inconsistency with his established intro in rots and adventures of superman, but it's still like. in text stated. just look at hypertension arc. black zero talks explicitly about all the kons across the timelines being clones of superman who simply haven't grown into their full powers yet. geoff isn't the originator of this idea y'all he just retconned the human dna donor into lex instead of paul.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Clark: i dont have any idea whats going on but i DO know one thing and its that this woman is trying to hurt Wally's kid and thats not gonna fly

Man poor Clark. Dude is trying so hard to understand and help out but he's just... so slow. The man is like living molasses in Flash Time.

From his perspective it was just a normal day then giant spaceships came out of nowhere and suddenly there is an army of blurs and he just starts teleporting from place to place before he can even register the locations.

Then suddenly he's with familiar blurs, ones clad in red and yellow. Their forms fading in and out like hummingbird wings, voices more akin to mice squeaking than actual language. If he didn't have his superhearing and his ability to hear inhumanly high pitches, he wouldn't have a chance at understanding them. They try to stay still long enough for Clark to talk to them.

He says "What is going-" and then they're gone again. He didn't even finish the question.

Then there's just one blur around. Small, orangey-red at the top, must be Wally's daughter Irey. Before he can even register that information she's being choked by some unknown blur halfway across the room. Something touches his hands and he doesn't even have time to look at them, he just grabs. He was desperate at this point. Good or bad, whoever this was they were staying put until Clark got some answers.

Anyway I think it's very funny that the Kryptonians are aware that something is happening. But they can't do anything about it. It must be incredibly frustrating and confusing to them.

They can hear the screams of the people who died and the people who are trapped in rubble. They would have seen/heard the spaceships come in. They came in at a normal speed so they would have had time to react to that. They know it's an alien invasion, they know people are dying and they know that they can't help.

[luthwhore]

still angry that despite how much batman was in the smallville s11 comic, bqm went out of his way to not only not put dick grayson in the comic, but to give a different character the nightwing mantle and completely disregard the idea of the name "nightwing" coming from kryptonian lore. all the random comic nonsense bqm insisted on shoving into the smallville comics but the ONE THING that would have actually MADE SENSE to do, aka establishing dick grayson's admiration of superman and clark being almost as influential to him as batman, not only didn't happen but explicitly can't happen within the smallville canon because bqm wanted to be quirky and make a girl nightwing without considering the actual history of the mantle.

[supurman]

clark by all means was raised human, but at the end of the day he is an alien. what he does every day in public is second nature mimicry and masking of his true kryptonian nature. he has watched humans as child to an adult to react in ways they would. keep in mind kryptonians are not only a different species, but also millennia more ahead in evolution than humans so his instincts differ than humans, behaviors, etc. while it doesnt exhaust him to act so human since hes been doing it as a child, it does when hes stressed or bothered. when clark becomes more stressed he tends to act more alien than human in privacy. he will float around more than he walks, he doesnt sleep for days, doesnt eat for days, and prefers to be in areas that wont break so easily ( such as his fortress ).

ultimately what im trying to say here is clarks human behavior is mimicry! he is a alien and always will be.