#just know there are more caps but i somehow managed to choose 9 for this photoset

[starmocha]

Holding hands... It does help with dopamine production. It can also be relaxing. Thank you for being my stress relief.

[wulfies-kpop-fanfics]

One Photo → Mark Lee [4]

↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader

↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.

↳  Warning: Suggestive

↳  Word count: 4,556

↳  Chapters: Prelude | 1 | 2 | 3 | You Are Here! | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THURSDAY - 4

The next day, you quickly went onto Blackboard and finished your online class final as soon as you woke up. Tired and a little grumpy, you were happy that Rhiannon had already left the house for her lab, leaving you with a full range of the tea kettle and whatever cereals you had left in the cabinet. You suppose you should go grocery shopping on the weekend.

You have some music playing through your phone as you go through the motions of your morning, brushing your teeth and hair, dusting on the tiniest bit of makeup and a swipe of lip balm to your lips. When it comes time to choose an outfit, you slip on a pair of shortalls and a white Star Wars shirt that Rhiannon had bought you for your birthday last year. 

It almost felt like a dream to be where you are right now, to be going out and getting your first real taste of business, what it would be like to go out in the world and have people pay you for your work. All of it was happening because you met your soulmate.

You looked at your hands, scars still ever-present. They'd be there forever, and not long ago you had detested the idea of ever having them. Even to the point of making Mark afraid to speak to you about it, and a twinge in your chest came with a sudden feeling of guilt.

You had been in love with Mark for a long time, as much as any fan of his would say, maybe more. Finding out that he was truly meant for you was beginning to chip away at the bitterness you had acquired growing up. Maybe you still had some doubt for all of this, as things would actually still work out when he left to go back to Korea, but being around him felt like all of your aversions wouldn't matter one day. 

Letting go of the nerves living inside of you was difficult, but you managed to clench your hands and smile. This was all a part of your dream. Perhaps one day you would be able to look on your body and not think back on your life before. Thinking positively from now on was your goal. With that, you grabbed your camera and your bag, heading out the door.

On the subway, you listened to your playlist, a shuffled mix of your favourite songs. You zoned out until you reached your stop, wandering about the station and grabbing a candy bar on your way out. The morning itself was still but the rush of subway trains and people in a hurry created wind currents that caused you to need to smooth out your hair constantly on the way to your destination. 

As soon as you enter High Park, any grumpy fatigue you had been harbouring since waking up melted away. The sheer beauty of the park always managed to awaken the artist within you, whether it be filling up your camera with photos of trees and the cherry blossom petals in the spring; amber, red and brown leaves in the fall and the snow-capped branches in winter, or just doodling people in your sketchbook while sitting against a tree after class. It was one of your favourite places to be. 

You sat against a cherry tree by the path you and Mark walked on together, letting small petals of cherry blossoms to float down and land on your hair. You gripped your camera tightly and aimed it without thinking, capturing the emptiness of the park that surely wouldn't last forever.

Sometimes you had thought about wandering so far out into the wilderness where you wouldn't see any other people or man-made objects as far as your eye could see. Then, you could take photos of the beauty the planet has to offer while breathing untainted air and feeling fresh wind on your face. 

Just then as you closed your eyes to imagine it, a small breeze grazed your cheek. The warmth of the sun washed over you and it nearly made you want to take a nap right there on the grass. The day already feels so wonderful, and there was only one thing missing to make it perfect. 

"(Y/N)!"

Your eyes flutter open as Mark runs up to you. He's accompanied by the small crowd that are his bandmates, all walking along the path all at their own pace. Mark reaches you and sits down on the grass next to you. 

"Hi, Mark," you greet him with a blush, watching him as he plucks a cherry blossom petal from your hair. 

"You look lovely," he comments with a shy smile. "You haven't been waiting long, right?"

You smile warmly at him. "No, don't worry."

Mark grinned back at you. "I'm happy the weather cooperated with us," he remarks, taking a moment to look up at the blue sky, dotted with two or three wispy white clouds. "It's a beautiful day." 

"Yeah," this time, instead of looking back up at the sky, you're looking at Mark. It's fleeting, knowing he was so close to you that you could touch him. The way his profile is when he's looking up at the sky with a wondrous smile makes you want to take a million photos, but you hold back as you notice everyone else approaching. 

Everyone in the group greets you, giving you a hug and smiling as you do your best to introduce yourself in Korean. Most of the boys assure you that they can understand basic English and not to worry about the language difference. 

You're nervous, of course, to meet your favourite artists in person, especially all at once. In real life, they're all so tall and in some ways, it just feels so different than you imagined to interact with them. 

There are little bits of conversation occurring as you all wait for Rhiannon, Donghyuck insisting that they all stay put to make sure she can find you. You're smiling brightly when you notice he's constantly on the watch for her, making you wonder if she would experience a similar situation to yours. He's speaking fondly of her to you as best he can, which makes your heart flip - knowing how happy she'd be if you told her about it.

There is maybe another ten minutes of discussing what all the boys want, background, poses, angles and composition when Donghyuck's small smile grows into a giant grin. He's waving at someone who is approaching from the distance, who stops in their tracks once they look up from the ground. 

You take Mark's hand and squeeze it. "Come on," 

Everyone follows your lead, approaching your best friend. Rhiannon is clearly frazzled from a long lab, her hair in a messy ponytail, but she's dressed in a pretty, long black and white striped jumper and black heels accompanied by her large black purse that probably had her school uniform in it.

Once you get closer you wave at her, her returning wave much more subtle. She's covering her mouth with her other hand, and once you all reach her, you can tell she's crying. 

All the boys are a little frazzled, but you know that they all mean well. She probably wasn't the only person to nearly faint when meeting them.

"안녕하세요," she manages to stutter through her hand. You're smiling at her, beckoning her to join the group, but she doesn't move. 

The other boys are quietly complimenting her on her pronunciation and making comments to themselves, Johnny leaning toward you to ask if she's okay, but you're more focused on watching this all unfold. Mark nudges you with his elbow.

"Here, watch this." He steps up to Donghyuck and whispers in his ear, gripping the younger boys' shoulders and full on shoving him in Rhiannon's direction.

Donghyuck says a few startled words in Korean, none that you can really catch, holding out his hands and bracing for a fall. His grip lands on Rhiannon's shoulders and she is barely able to catch him by placing her hands on his chest.

Both of them yelp in surprise, the other boys watching and laughing warmly to themselves. Eventually, the two of them settle into a proper hug, Rhiannon shoving her tear-ridden face into Donghyuck's shoulder. 

Mark wraps an arm around your waist and presses a kiss to your cheek, grinning mischievously. "I hope they're soulmates," he says, quiet enough that only you can hear it. 

"I hope so too." 

Rhiannon can barely keep herself composed as all the other members give her a greeting hug once they all manage to peel her and Donghyuck off of each other. She showers them in stuttered compliments and praises, all phrases you have heard her planning to say months ago while the two of you were discussing what you would say to your idols if you ever met them. 

It's an emotional moment, and it makes you all the more motivated to spend the day making your task absolutely perfect. Just one photo. 

You could have laughed at yourself. 'One photo', Johnny and Jaehyun had specified when you first met them. Like that was ever going to happen. In one take, Donghyuck had coughed and caused motion blur, another where Johnny's eyes were closed, Jaehyun's eyes were both somehow blocked at the same time by cherry blossom petals, and one more where Yuta stepped back and lost his balance on a large rock a child had kicked towards him while he was passing by. 

Through Taeyong's insistence of a perfect photo and tiny bits of life getting in the way, you felt as if taking one photo for NCT127 was going to be the longest photo shoot of your career that hadn't even started yet. You all were laughing and smiling through it, which made the experience fun and enjoyable, even though there were so many things to consider. 

Click. 

Your smile was wide as you went back into your camera to look at the preview of the last photo you've taken. All the boys come out from their poses to gather around you and Rhiannon, each of them scrambling to get a good look at the tiny preview screen on your camera. 

"I think this is the one," you confidently say. 

Everyone is posed happily at the edge of the old cobblestone path, in between two cherry trees that were shedding cherry blossom petals, all of which were perfectly captured floating through the picture, none of them obscuring any faces. Everyone was smiling, had open eyes, and each part of the photo was clear and crisp. You even managed to think that you maybe didn't need to touch it up in photoshop at all. Even the lighting was nearly perfect. 

"This is the one," Jungwoo agrees with you, after managing to push Taeil aside long enough to have a direct look at the camera. 

"I think so too," Mark chimes in next to you. "You're amazing." 

You're going red in the face as most of the boys begin to agree with you. Once you have your personal space back, you're able to turn off your camera and place it securely in your bag. 

"Let's go for ice cream!" Doyoung suggests, and everyone else immediately agreed. 

Spending time with all of the members of 127 and Rhiannon didn't really feel as crowded as you thought it would be. Of course, in reality, it was - especially at the small ice cream cafe you all ended up in - taking up two whole booths. 

It all felt real and like a dream at the same time, genuinely spending time with them and talking, being friendly. The day wasted away as you all explored the city, wandering into random stores and picking out little trinkets as souvenirs. At times you would pull out your camera to take more photos, the day's progression adding to your different collections of lighting and atmosphere. 

Eventually, you all had dinner together, splitting the cost of a giant order of homemade pasta at the St Lawrence market, piling onto the picnic tables on the lower floor and sharing a quiet few moments as the sun set on another day. 

“So, (Y/N), what made you a fan?” Jaehyun is smiling at you, eyes switching between looking at you and Jungwoo who is sitting on your right, shovelling his pasta in his mouth. You don’t even think he’s chewing it. 

“Rhiannon,” you say flatly. Rhiannon kicks your shin quickly after, she’s sitting in between Donghyuck and Jaehyun, smiling innocently. “Ow! Well, uhm, we were in high school at the time when she became a k-pop fan, and immediately tried to pull me down the rabbit hole as well. I was reluctant for a while, but eventually, I gave in. When I started exploring on my own, I saw your Firetruck music video and… well, the rest is history.”

Mark, who is sitting on your left, is grinning at you. “What’s your favourite song by us?” He asks and soon turns his attention to Rhiannon.

“Which subgroup?” She asks excitedly. “I can name one for each, so can (Y/N).”

You sheepishly nod. “All of them,” Johnny quickly chimes in, picking slowly at his own food.

“Well, it’s always been tough for me to decide but Boss is my favourite U song, Touch is my favourite 127 song, GO is my favourite Dream song and since WayV made a debut a little while ago with Regular, that’s my favourite by them so far.” You answer sheepishly, and Mark’s grinning at you. It’s probably because he’s involved with 99% of those songs. 

“And yours?” Donghyuck is looking at Rhiannon expectantly. His accent is thick and you find it very endearing that he’s doing his best to speak English. 

Rhiannon hummed, a grin spread over her face. “BOSS by NCTU, Whiplash by NCT127, We Young by NCTDREAM, and I really like the teaser video music for WayV’s debut.” 

Donghyuck’s smile widens to a grin, “We hot,” “And we young!” Rhiannon, Mark and Donghyuck all sing in unison, which causes everyone else to start laughing. 

Jungwoo finishes off most of his plate and hums as if he wants to ask a question. You give him your attention and he asks a question in Korean, but you can’t quite understand it. Before Mark can open his mouth to translate with a blush, Rhiannon does it first. “He wants to know who your favourite member was before Mark,” she says, grinning mischievously at you. 

Your face goes beet red as you not so subtly look over at Johnny. He is looking between you and Mark, the latter immediately wraps an arm protectively around your shoulders. “Uhm… well, I really liked Johnny at first. I had a really big crush on him. Then Mark became my bias,” you’re looking at Johnny sheepishly, who is smiling sweetly at you.

Doyoung then chimes in, also speaking Korean, which Rhiannon translates to “now you’re making it awkward!” 

The conversation continued in Korean, Johnny putting his hands up defensively and also turning beet red as Mark starts speaking, and everything is going so fast even Rhiannon can’t seem to translate it besides “Yeah, they’re arguing”. Meanwhile, you’re trying to eat your food and not react to the whole thing. 

It takes a little while for everything to calm down, and at that point, you’re staring at Rhiannon who just shrugs at you. You’re awkwardly scraping sauce from the bottom of your dish as someone finally speaks up again, Mark tightening his grip protectively around you. “What made you so good at Korean, Rhiannon?” It’s Johnny, who is doing his best to not make eye contact with Mark, who you guess is still a little heated from that argument that ended not three minutes ago. 

“Well,” Rhiannon starts shyly. “A lot of Korean TV shows and a couple of friends from live streams I watch.”

“It’s impressive, you should keep practising,” Mark praises with a smile. 

"Thank you," Rhiannon is now also red in the face, grinning like an idiot.

"When are your birthdays?" Jungwoo is wiping his sauce-drenched face with a napkin, his accent thick. He's endearing, you think.

"Mine's July fifteenth, ninety-eight," you answer shyly, a little nervous to see their reactions, learning that you're older than Mark. 

Donghyuck's eyes widen for a moment as he nearly shouts "Noona!" In your direction, making you fully hide your face in your hands. 

"Your birthday is close to mine," Taeyong finally speaks up, and Mark rubs your shoulder gently to keep you from hiding your face. "Mine is July first."

"Mine's October twenty-fifth, ninety-eight," Rhiannon chimes in. 

Donghyuck is almost equally surprised to learn this, but this time he's quieter. He still says "noona," while looking Rhiannon straight in the eye as she goes beet red and looks away from him.

"We are birthday buddies!" Yuta exclaims, grinning wildly and still holding a fork full of pasta that is slowly slipping off the utensil. "Mine is October twenty-sixth!" 

This brings Rhiannon back from being shy. She brightens up, smiling over at Yuta who flashes her a big thumbs up - "we should celebrate together!" The conversation picks back up and once again begins to wildly veer from topic to topic. 

Once everyone finished their food, you all walked around the lower levels, stopping at another shop full of Canada themed trinkets and souvenirs. Mark ended up buying a hilarious red and black plaid onesie, the butt of the pyjamas was removable and had a bear on it. Donghyuck bought a stuffed moose and the others bought a variety of shirts and maple flavoured treats. You ended up buying a stuffed animal yourself, a soft polar bear, an idea mind for it. However, you weren't sure you would be brave enough to ask Mark about it. 

Not noticing the time seemed to be the growing trend these past few days, as when you all clamour out of the bottom floor of the market, it had gotten dark and the place was about to close for the night. All of you headed to the subway together, chatting and forgetting about life outside the day.

Mark held you close, an arm wrapped securely around your waist. "Can I walk you to your dorm?" 

"Don't you think you should just go back with the guys?" You ask. "The subway is really expensive…"

Mark smiled and shook his head. "It's okay, we have special passes for when we're here. I just want to spend more time with you."

Your heart melted and you nearly teared up. "I want to spend more time with you too." 

Mark grinned and held you a little closer as you walked. He was warm, and you wouldn't admit it out loud, but your entire body was screaming. You wanted to hold him forever. 

You all separated at the subway station, the boys taking the opposite train. Rhiannon and Donghyuck had their own little moment before he left as their train arrived. They talked in Korean a few feet away from the crowd of boys and a little further away from where you and Mark were standing. It was sweet, watching them intentionally hug this time, holding hands until the last moment when the train was about to close its doors. 

Donghyuck wanted to walk to the dorm as well, but Taeyong remarked that Mark had already been lectured enough the past few days he had decided to stay out late. Donghyuck protested but eventually had to give in.

Mark walked the two of you home, right to the door of your apartment.

"I'll leave you two alone for a bit," Rhiannon said softly, unlocking the door and slipping inside, leaving you and Mark alone in the hallway. 

You looked up at Mark, who was returning your gaze and smiling at you warmly. "You are more beautiful every time I look at you," he says, a cheesy grin spreading across his face as he watches your reaction. 

"Mark," you're nearly laughing as you say his name, "please, you make me blush!"

"Good," he speaks softly. "I just want to make you feel the best that I can in the time that I can."

That was when it hit you. Every time you had to think about having a soulmate, you had really only thought about yourself. You inwardly chastised yourself for being so selfish - and frowned. 

"Mark, I'm sorry," you begin softly, and his expression turns to concern.

"For what? Are you okay?" He asks, hands gently cupping your cheeks.

You lean into his touch, "of course I am. I just feel terrible that all of this has happened to you so quickly. I only thought about myself when it hit me you would be leaving the day after the concert." 

Mark nodded. "I'm going to miss you," he admitted. "But I feel amazing whenever I'm with you. I want to spend as much time here with you as I can, so I can remember it. Until the next time I can see you." 

"Mark," he sighed as you said his name, "are we going to be okay?" 

Mark nodded softly. "Of course we will be. No distance, land mass or body of water is going to get between us, ever." 

"Okay," you whisper. "I trust you." You stare into Mark's eyes for a moment, his hands still gently resting on your face. He presses his forehead to yours, and your noses touch for a moment. That was when the moment both sped up and felt like it was slowing down at the same time. 

Mark presses his lips to yours softly, his hands moving past your neck and your shoulders to your hips. He's soon moving to press you up against the wall of the hallway, trapping you between it and him. His mouth moves over yours, and you feel him hum and separate you for just long enough for him to kiss you from another angle, pressing his body closer to yours.

 Your little shopping bag with your polar bear inside drops to the floor as you let go of it to place your hands on his chest. Mark groans into the kiss, backing up for a moment to look at you with hungry eyes before diving back in. 

You don't know how long he kissed you for, hands running up and down your sides, tight enough that he could probably feel your bra underneath your t-shirt. You're suddenly whimpering when he presses his knee between your legs-

"(Y/N), get your ass in here before I punch your soulmate!"

Mark releases your lips with a sheepish laugh, licking away the saliva trail between your mouths, which almost makes you faint. His face is red, blush extended past his cheeks to travel to the bridge of his nose. "Sorry," he whispers shakily, "got carried away." 

"Me too," you admit, trembling against the wall when Mark finally sets you free. "I, um-" 

"Me too," he repeats, as if he read your mind. He takes a gentle hold of your hand. "Maybe another time?" You understand what he's implying, as if your entire body isn't on fire already, you quickly nod. 

Mark lets your hand slip from his, and you can tell he is having a hard time peeling his eyes away from you so he can leave. "Mark, wait, before you go-"

"What is it?" He asks, tilting his head to the side. He's having trouble keeping eye contact, his eyes flicking constantly from yours to your lips. 

"My polar bear," you start, picking up the bag you dropped earlier. "Could you please, um… cuddle him for a while? Until you leave?"

Mark's eyebrows furrow until he realizes what you meant, his eyes drifting from your face to look at the plastic bag you're holding out to him. "Will this help you when I'm gone?" He asks, gingerly taking the bag from you.

"I hope so," you say quietly, clinging to him in one last hug. "I'll give you something of mine in exchange."

Mark returns the hug, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "Sounds like a plan." 

You watch Mark leave, nearly breathless and a pit at the base of your throat. Thoughts ran through your head of what could have happened if you weren't interrupted, the pit running further and further down your body to rest with the butterflies in your stomach. 

Once you're finally able to go back inside, you really wish you hadn't immediately met eyes with your best friend, perched on the armrest of the couch and holding a mug of tea. Both her eyebrows are raised and a smirk is dancing on her lips.

"Were you two trying to fuck in the hallway?" She asked, taking a sip of her tea, watching you struggle to take off your shoes. 

"N-no," you stutter, trembling hands giving away that you were… most likely lying. 

Rhiannon laughed and shook her head. "Jeez. Learn to get a room," she jokes. "I'm going to bed." 

"N-night," you call as you watch her pad into her own room and shut the door, leaving you to your own thoughts. It was hard for you to keep your brain from going off the rails as you changed into your pyjamas. You considered making tea, but you figured it was probably a bad idea. Shortly after changing, showering and doing your bedtime routine you slipped under the covers of your bed.Your rampant thoughts were made all the worse when you got a text from Mark.

Mark: I'm back safe

You: good, I'm happy you're safe 

You: I'm about to go to bed

Mark: I wish I was there in bed with you 

You could have audibly gasped when you read his text. You thought for so long with your fingers hovering over the keys that you got another text from him.

Mark: I'm sorry I got so carried away in the hall. I just really wanted to touch you. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable at all

You: no of course not, I actually really liked it

Mark: you did? Oh God… now itll never leave my head 

You: I don't think it will leave mine either.. I really wish you could have stayed 

Mark: me too but I would have gotten in a lot of trouble and the concert is already tomorrow 

You: and you're leaving Saturday :(

Mark: yeah… 

You: I want to kiss you again

Mark: I want to do a lot more than that 

Your heart picks up speed and you grab your Death Star throw pillow to squeal into it. You're trembling even more as you type your reply.

You: I wish we had more time

Mark: we can make some if you come straight to the stadium after your class 

You: ok

You: I'll run

Mark: looking forward to it

Mark: Rest well okay

You: I'll do my best considering

You: You too

Mark: yeah I promise I'll try

You locked your phone and placed it on your desk next to your bed and turned over, bringing the covers over your shoulders. It was hard to concentrate on sleeping, but you eventually dozed into a dream-filled sleep. 

[sokkabeifong]

20 Stories, 20 First Lines

Tagged by @cats-and-metersticks, thank you! I jumped right on this because I honestly love tag games haha

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 authors!

-> I'm just going to do 10, since 20 is kind of a lot haha

I don't have a lot of writer friends on here, so this is the best I can do, sorry if I forgot someone I'm so bad at remembering things

Tagging @chaoticnerdsstuff @praetorqueenreyna (I know we haven't talked much but you're such a good writer and I'd love to see you do this!)

1. The Element of Surprise (Tokka One Shots)

Toph Beifong is thirty-five years old, and nothing surprises her. Her seismic sense tells her where everything is, from the tiniest ant to the largest man. There is no such thing as being startled when you have that much power under the soles of your feet.

Except when there is.

2. The Game (Tokka One Shots)

Katara had just finished twisting the cap onto the nail polish bottle when her phone rang. She fumbles, hurrying to get through the mess of bottles and blankets that have piled up on her bed. The dark-haired girl sitting next to her snarls when she's hit in the leg with the sharp end of a pair of nail clippers.

"Watch it, Butter Fingers."

"Sorry, sorry," she says, not really meaning it. She finally grabs her phone delicately by the sides, squinting at the screen. "It's Mai. She wants to FaceTime."

3. All the Crooked Lines

Mai knows how to deal with many things, but grief is not one of them.

Growing up in the household of a Fire Nation noble meant sacrifices of all kind. Her father was an absent figure in her life, but she spent her days hearing about how important it was that she behaved for him. And so she did. She behaved, she kept quiet, and she coped. Coping has been in her vocabulary since before she could speak. When things become difficult, she retreats into herself, and she copes.

She's coping now.

4. The Butterfly Effect (Toph, Chp. 4)

Toph fiddles with the wires on her listening device. For some reason, the right one works while the left one doesn't. She sighs exasperatedly, makes a few more changes, then lets out a groan and tosses the whole contraption onto a nearby table. The clatter of it hitting the wooden surface is drowned out by her flopping down onto one of the couches in the Great Room. She buries her head in her hands.

Any minute now, someone will escort Prince Sokka into the room, and they'll be left alone to talk until their fathers come and fetch them for dinner. Alone. With Sokka. For several minutes. Not long, she supposes, but long enough. Will he try and talk to her? Will he try and make a move already? Is he as terrified as she is? She truly has no idea, and that scares her. What had her father been thinking, promising her to this stranger?

5. The Butterfly Effect (Sokka, Chp. 3)

Sokka rubs his hands together anxiously, pacing the rooms he's been assigned for his time in the Earth Kingdom palace. He glances up at the teardrop mirror that's now hanging above his bureau and takes a deep breath. That was the first thing he'd done when he had been left alone to settle in - hang up the mirror. If it was there, somehow he felt more at home, though it wouldn't really matter soon. After his marriage, he will be expected to live with Toph. At least she probably wouldn't care too much about the decor of their room, since she couldn't see it.

In a few minutes, one of his new Earth Kingdom servants - he, his father, and his sister had each been given two, though the latter were only staying for another three weeks - will be coming to he will be left alone with Toph while the kings arrange their lives like they were pawns in a chess game. And afterward, he'll have to get through his first dinner with King Lao. And Queen Poppy. And Toph.

6. Show It To The Sun (Tokka One Shots)

Katara told her once that love is blind. That when two people cared about each other so much, they ignored everything else, no matter what it was. Love, she said, guides all. But it didn't hurt to have a bit of guidance from others as well.

Toph replied by saying that love isn't the only thing that's blind, and waved her hand sarcastically in front of her useless eyes. Katara scoffed, saying that she never took anything seriously.

But Toph’s dead serious.

Katara can't know. Can she? No. They've been so careful, these past few months. Hushed conversations in dark corners, a small touch on the back now and then. But never more than that. When they are others around, they put on their masks. They bicker. They argue. They fight. They get on each other's nerves and act exactly how they're supposed to.

Distant. Detached. Indifferent.

7. The Butterfly Effect (Toph, Chp. 2)

"Sit up straight," Toph's father orders from his throne next to his daughter. "And smile. You look like a hooligan, frowning like that."

Toph obeys immediately and effectively, smiling however strained she's sure it looks. Her father grunts his approval. "Better."

Her mother, the queen, stops before her seat and smooths a strand of her hair back before quietly sitting in her own royal seat, on her husband's right. "You look lovely, dear," she says. "I'm sure the prince will love you. They'll be here any minute, now."

At that, she tenses. The prince will be here any minute.

8. The Butterfly Effect (Sokka, Chp. 1)

The mirror has hung on the northwestern wall of his chambers for as long as he can remember. It's a curious shape, like that of a teardrop. He likes it, anyway. It reminds him of the water surrounding his home, the islands of Esceania, and how much he loves it. When he was younger, if he tilted his head back as far as it would go, he could just catch a glimpse of his dark brown hair peeking up over the edge. As he grew, each time he passed the mirror he was rewarded by seeing more and more of himself.

9. But Lovers Hold On To Everything (Tokka One Shots)

"Okay, go."

Toph furrows her brow in concentration. "Okay. Two households, both alike in dignity. In fair Verona, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands... er, something... shit."

"Argh. So close," Sokka says, laying the sheet of paper with his girlfriend's English homework on it on the table that separates them. "It's '...civil blood makes civil hands unclean.'"

"I know, I know," she says tiredly. "Good thing I only have to memorize half."

10. The Boy From District Three (TGWTB)

Aang has decided to trust him wholeheartedly. He knows this because as soon as the anthem finishes he snuggles up against him and falls asleep. Nor does he have any misgivings about him, as he takes no particular precautions. If he had wanted Sokka dead, all he would've had to do was disappear from that tree without pointing out the tracker jacker nest.

At the back of his mind, he knows they both can't win these Games. But since the odds are still against either of them surviving, he manages to ignore the thought.

[snowboiwinwin]

NCT Dream (+ Shotaro and Sungchan) as types of Among Us players

this is all based on my friends and I whenever we play Among Us... it is a mess but absolutely hilarious! Hope you enjoy! :)

Mark: the yellow character, uses some type of nickname that no one actually calls him

Is never saying much, but is especially quiet when he is an impostor

Actually a really good impostor

Wins 8/10 times

Very risky killer thoguh, he has BALLS

Always has an alibi somehow

But don‘t sus him please - as soon as he opens his mouth and is put under pressure.... everyone knows its him

“Guuuuuys, I swear. It wasn‘t me! Oh come ooooon. I was in admin! Oh.... you were in admin too? Bro, I didn‘t see you though. Guys, I don‘t wanna sus anyone, but he might be it.... Guys, guys, listen! I was-, hey! Guys! OKAY! I AM THE IMPOSTOR, I ADMIT! JUST KILL ME ALREADY!“

Renjun: most probably the black character, uses a cute nickname and puts cute accessories on his character

yes, yellow (aka Mark) is a great impostor

BUT Renjun is THE best

his character looks so innocent with the cute lil name and the christmas lights

But don‘t let it fool you

ALWAYS has an alibi as well

And even when you sus him - he has the best arguments as to why you should believe he is actually innocent (he never is) and always manages to make someone else look sus, so he‘s off the hook (not that you sus him to begin with)

Usually is the impostor 5 times in a row

Wins 9/10 times

“Can I just say something? Chenle has been really weird this whole game. I think he even closed the doors on me when we were in electrical but he didn‘t dare kill me cause someone was in front of the door... why are you getting so defensive? I just said it was kinda sus, not that I actually think you’re the impostor... your behavior is very off man... bro, I was with Jeno this whole time! yeah, let‘s vote for Chenle, just to be save.“

Jeno: changes his character‘s color all the time but usually it‘s either dark or lime green, uses his last name and puts fancy suits on his character

Literally the best person to play Among Us with

He is so chill and laid back and let‘s you actually talk (some people just outscream each other and I find that annoying)

Also an amazing impostor

He is just so nice and kind, you would never sus him

“Don‘t worry Haechan, I can confirm that you are innocent! I saw him doing tasks, guys. It can‘t be him.“ (well yeah, cause it‘s you Mr. Lee)

Due to this, no one would ever sus him

Kills usually the same people at the same spot (apparently not even on purpose) and that‘s actually why the others sus him

Wins 9.5/10 times

“Okay, only us three left... we really have to think this through. Chenle, why are you trying to proof your innocence so hard when we haven‘t even said anything? Ugh, I don‘t even wanna vote anyone, I really don‘t know who it could be. To the impostor, you did a great job! I‘m honestly shocked by how well played this was. Oh? We voting Chenle? Okay!“

Haechan: the dark blue character, uses a „cool“ made up rap name and suits to look even cooler

He is LOUD

And he has literally no mercy

Do not sus him or else you will lose your hearing

He outscreams everyone

Kills infront of someone else and acts as if the other person (usually Jaemin) has killed Jisung

Literally self-reports but due to Jaemin not being able to get a word in, EVERYONE believes him

But although he is doing quite well most of the time, the others see the pattern in his impostor tactics and stop believing him at one point

Wins 5/10 times

“I SWEAR IT WASN‘T ME!!! IT WAS JAEMIN; I SAW IT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES!!! You know what guys, fuck you. You are unbelievebale, you are all gonna lose now! Thanks for nothing.“ *mutes his mic*

Jaemin: he chooses the colors pink or purple, goes by his actual name and uses either a cool cap or flowers for accessoires

He is alwas the one the others sus, just becasue

They don‘t even have reasons but apparently he is always acting hella sus

Which frustrates him, because they only sus him when he is a crewmate, never when he is the actual impostor (which is hilarious)

He is genuinely doing tasks and trying to defend people he deemed innocent but still, he is always the one getting accused of the killing

When he is impostor, he usually doesn’t even kill people cause he is so nervous and afraid hahaha

So the crewmates know, when there isn‘t a single kill after 5 minutes, it is probably Jaemin

But when he is on a killing spree, he is actually quite good - 100% better than Haechan

Wins 7/10 times

“Guys, why would it be me? I was just with Shotaro and Jeno the whole time! I didn‘t kill either of them!!! GUYS I AM NOT THE IMPOSTOR I SWEAR TO GOD!!!! If I would be the impostor you would know cause no one ever dies! Omg, are you for real??? Guys I AM INNOCENT!!! YOU ARE KILLING THE WRONG ONE!!“ *gets voted off while being an innocent crewmate*

Chenle: the white character, uses a weird name and also dresses up in cool suits

Boy is always sus

Probably because he constantly is the impostor

He also kills very fast

The game just started and there‘s already a reported body

So that‘s what makes him sus immediately - he kills 5 seconds into the game

But he is good at talking himself out of it - people still sus him though

He is making stupid mistakes though; “Jisung, let‘s stick together!“ and suddenly Jisung is dead

Usually plays 2-3 rounds as an impostor before people know for sure it‘s him

Wins 6.5/10 times

“Noooo? It isn‘t me wtf? Are you guys drunk? WELL I PERSONALLY THINK IT‘S SUNGCHAN! Every other opinion is INVALID!! I haven‘t seen him this WHOLE game! Shut up Sungchan, that‘s what an impostor would say as well. Yes guys! TRUST ME!!! Bye Sungchannie!“

Jisung: the red character, uses a weird name he came up with that has nothing to do with his actual name, also wears suits cause Chenle wants to match #chenji

He never is impostor

He wants nothing more than to be the impostor once

When he suddenly gets chosen to be the impostor - he gets voted off immediately

But not because he is bad - his impostor teammate is the reason

Imagine; lights go out, his impostor mate kills one person directly infront of the electrical, infront of jisung and runs away... suddenly lights turn on and jisung stands infront of the dead body

People immediately vote him off, no questions asked

Wins 3/10 times

“I know it looks so bad, but I swear it wasn‘t me! Renjun got killed infront of me, I didn‘t even have time to report him yet! Guys, seriously, it was NOT me!!!“ but due to Chenle (most probably the other impostor) throwing accusations at him, he doesn‘t even get to say much

Shotaro: the orange character, goes by a nickname and usually chooses the egg for accessories

Is not that experienced with the game

so let‘s say, he plays for the firs time with the boys

He is the impostor for the first 4 rounds - he is completely overwhelmed

Never gets suspected cause “he just started playing this game - no way he is impostor and gets away with it so easily“

Whenever people sus him he plays the “i don‘t know how this works“ card - and the others believe him

The boys are SHOOK when they see he was the actual impostor

Wins 11/10 times - his cuteness and innocence make him win every time

“I was in that one room, I don‘t know what it‘s called....“, “I have a question; why are these alarms going off? Huh? Impostors can sabotage? How is that possible??? Oh okay, wow. Good to know. I hope i can remember this when I am the impostor then!“

Sungchan: the brown character, shares the same braincell as Chenle and chooses a weird name haha, is the only one who has a pet

He is the only one that thinks logically

Doesn‘t sus people without having his reasons (even when he is impostor)

Plays very well, sticks with his partner most of the time - double kills occure often with him being impostor

Him and Jaemin are actually a very good team

Although they stick together a lot, they also try to get alibis from other players

Win 10.5/10 times (sometimes he does mess up)

“No guys, I can confirm that Jisung is not the impostor, let that guy live for once! Haechan on the other hand apparently finished the ‚Simon says‘ task in less than a minute, which i find very weird as it takes longer than that.“ *cue Haechan‘s screaming*

[goodomensblog]

Afterward - Part 15

A Good Omens Choose Your Own Adventure Fic

Here’s how it works:

I’ll write a scene.

At the end of each scene, you’ll be presented with 2-3 options for what the characters will choose to do next.

Comment or reblog to vote for your choice. I’ll count all votes after the first 24 hours after each update is posted.

Read: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14

(#3 wins because y’all love chaos, don’t you? Totally understandable. I love it too.)

Afterward - - - Part 15

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub, lord of flies, master of tyrants, patron of demon worship, and prince of Hell, is having, by their own estimation, a pretty shit day.

“I think I’d honestly rather die,” Beelzebub groans, as Crowley hauls them impudently up onto his skinny back. 

“I’m saving you, you ungrateful lump of flies, whether you like it or not.”

And Beelzebub, who is having the unfortunate realization that they are too weak to so much as wriggle their way out of this humiliating position, settles for flopping over the demon Crowley’s shoulder in such a way that the black, clotted blood dribbling out of their mouth splats grotesquely down the front of Crowley’s shirt.

“Thank you. Thanks for that,” Crowley says, grabbing underneath Beelzebub's legs to hike the demon a little higher on his back.

“Welcome,” Beelzebub replies, and more blood dribbles out.

Snatching the jar of Hellfire from the table, Crowley clutches it to his chest. With his other hand scooped behind Beelzebub’s leg to keep them in place, he kicks the door open and prowls, piggy-backing Beelzebub, prince of Hell, into the halls of Heaven.

Beelzebub, bouncing with Crowley’s every loping step, has closed their eyes. Head lolling forward, they’ve half given into the encroaching darkness, when Crowley’s annoying, incessant mutterings drag them back into full consciousness. 

“-now for this to work, I’ll just have to-”

The jar lid pops open. Hellfire leaps up, red flames lapping at the edges of the jar and the nearby grasping fingers. Beelzebub can feel it - the rich, tantalizing heat, and slumps forward, breathing in the fire’s acrid scent.

Crowley carelessly drops the jar, and it clatters across the floor as eager flames wrap around the demon’s wrists; they twist, winding up and around his forearms. It’s at that point that Crowley resumes walking. He does nearly trip over the dropped jar, but manages to stay on his feet with a skip and a hop. 

With each step, Crowley mutters sibilant syllables beneath his breath. They are rich as velvet, coaxing the fire with ancient, saccharine promises.

Beelzebub is generally repulsed by Crowley, but not enough to resist perching their chin on Crowley’s shoulder when the first flickers of flames slide over Beelzebub’s dangling arms. They sigh, going limp with relief as revitalizing flames sink into their skin.

Crowley continues walking and chanting and only stumbling occasionally. And Beelzebub hates Crowley, they really do, but they have to admit - he’s not bad at coaxing Hellfire. Beelzebub can feel the healing warmth of the flames sinking into the marrow of their very being. 

“You awake, Lord Buzziest?” Crowley asks, hiking up Beelzebub from their slowly sliding descent down his back.

When Beelzebub opens their eyes to a completely unfamiliar hall, they have the abrupt and horrifying realization that they had indeed drifted briefly to sleep. While being piggy-backed, no less. Would the humiliations never cease?

“Of course I’m awake,” Beelzebub grouses, digging a bony knee into Crowley’s side. “And no nicknames.”

“Alright, alright,” Crowley says, hands up. “I’ve given you all the Hellfire, by the way. Is it working?”

Beelzebub straightens up, pressing a hand against their chest. Eyes closed, they draw a long breath in. Breathing out, they tip their head from side to side, cracking their neck.

“Yeah,” Beelzebub answers, fingers splayed across dry, cracking blood. “Starting to.” 

They hadn’t expected the Hellfire to make them good as new, but it has at least kick-started the process. Beelzebub can feel the infernal energy within themself stirring, slowly mending what had very nearly been irreparably broken.

“I’m looking for Aziraphale, or Gabriel - or I guess, really anyone,” Crowley says, the tension in his voice embarrassingly undisguised. “They’re not where I expected them to be. At least based on the earlier racket.”

Beelzebub’s lip curls in disgust at the emotional display, but nonetheless closes their eyes, spreading their awareness wide. 

Heaven is... not exactly what Beelzebub remembers. Not that they remember much. But somehow, in those blotchy, indistinct recollections, it is brighter, louder, warmer. Safe. 

And there definitely wasn’t a malignant, pulsing thing in the central courtyard. 

“The thing is in the innermost courtyard,” Beelzebub says, opening their eyes. “Don’t know if your stupid angel’s with it.”

“Alright then,” Crowley replies, and promptly sets off in that direction.

He’s halfway down the corridor before Beelzebub fully processes the significance of Crowley’s unilateral decision.

“Hey! Hey! Hold up!” Beelzebub says, weakly digging their heels underneath Crowley’s ribs. “I don’t want to go near that thing. Put me down!”

Crowley doesn’t slow. “Can you walk on your own yet?” he asks, yellow eyes rolling up behind his dumb glasses.

The tingling ache in Beelzebub’s extremities suggests they probably cannot. It’s infuriating and humiliating and Beelzebub wants to die.

Crowley takes their silence as an answer. “Guess you’re tagging along, then,” he says with a grim smile.

“I hate you. With the entirety of my being.”

Whistling, Crowley walks faster.

As they approach the courtyard, the air begins to feel heavy, and it tastes - tart, cloying, rotten. Beelzebub’s lips curl back, and they warily suck the air between sharpening teeth.

“Demon Crowley,” Beelzebub orders, fingers curling over his shoulders as their sharp gaze scans from left to right. “Go slowly.”

Crowley, for once in his miserable existence, listens. Rolling through his steps, he prowls cautiously into the courtyard.

It’s exquisite - if you’re into uninspired pale flagstone and modern, geometric looking decorative fountains. The bodies on the ground don’t at all fit with the aesthetic.

The Archangel Gabriel is slumped over the edge of the fountain, golden blood sliding down his arm, dripping into cloudy water. The second figure is crumpled closer to the center of the courtyard - as though they’d put themselves between the archangel and whatever had been attacking him. The second one, though further away and also face down, is obviously Crowley’s angel - Aziraphale.

Crowley makes a pitiable, strangled sound, and Beelzebub just knows he’s going to charge out into the courtyard. Nails shifting to claws, Beelzebub digs them into Crowley’s shoulder.

“He lives, Crowley, I can feel the flicker of life from all the way over here,” Beelzebub hisses at his ear. 

Beelzebub can feel Gabriel’s life as well, a bright flare of energy at the fountain’s edge.

“Do not rush in,” Beelzebub continues, clenching at cloth and skin, “Something watches from the shadows.”

Crowley stiffens at that. Head tilted, he slowly, carefully, pulls down his glasses. 

“Who’s there?” he calls out.

Beelzebub shivers, the hairs on the back of their neck rising, one by one. Not daring to breathe, not daring to move, Beelzebub watches the space they know a creature waits.

At the courtyard’s edge, a figure unfolds itself from the shadows.

It is...an angel. The short, balding one. Sandalphon, if Beelzebub recalls correctly. 

Beelzebub and Crowley watch as the angel Sandalphon strolls out of darkness. His pale, pudgy hands are folded in front of his stomach, and he narrows his eyes, chin tilting inquisitively up as he inspects them.

Crowley looks from that angel to his angel, and Beelzebub digs their nails deeper into his flesh. Do not move. Do not move, Beelzebub thinks, squeezing.

Sandalphon tilts his head and speaks. “The angels fought me. And then they ran from me. At least, they tried to.” 

The voice that emerges from his throat is layered and ringing and it leaves Beelzebub with more than a passing inclination to shove their claws deep into their own ears, if only to make it stop.

“I thought I’d conquered all of Hell,” Sandalphon continues, lips quirking in puzzlement, “and yet here, in Heaven of all places, I find two unconquered demons wandering about.”

“Conquered?” Beelzebub growls, mind racing. 

They’d fled Hell after Satan had gone mad and started attacking his Princes. At the time, everything had been a giant fucking mess, and Beelzebub had made a tactical retreat to recover. Hell had been chaotic, sure - but conquered? 

Crowley cuts in before Beelzebub can say another word. “You’re not Sandalphon, are you?”

The thing smiles wide, revealing the angel’s ostentatious gold capped teeth. “I’m wearing Sandalphon. Just like I’m wearing Satan. And the demons and angels who weren’t quite quick enough.”

“Satan-” Beelzebub breathes, trembling. They’d thought he’d been bespelled. or some level of possessed, but this was - unforgivable.

“And God?” Crowley cuts in, voice sharp.

The thing tilts its head in a jagged, unnatural jerk. “She disappeared before I could get my hands on her, I’m afraid. Awfully cruel of her, I say, abandoning all of you like that. Though I suppose you two are rather used to it.”

“What the fuck are you?” Beelzebub snaps.

“Oh!” And the thing wearing Sandalphon like a second skin gives a start, “I didn’t introduce myself, did I?”

Sandalphon’s head dips forward. From the back of his neck, pale, twisting limbs unfold. Like spider’s legs, bent and folded back over themselves, they jerkily unfurl. There must be at least eight, and at the end of each limb, bony, clawed hands splay - reaching. The pale, sickly limbs spread out, lifting a creature which emerges from the back of Sandalphon with a frankly horrifying squelch. The thing is limpid and waifish, and watches them with black, eternity old eyes.

“Dear creatures of this poor, dying universe, you may call me Entropy.”

“Entropy?” Beelzebub hisses.

As Crowley says, “This universe?”

The thing smiles, and it’s mouth is a void. “Everything ends, honey. I hop from place to place, returning universes to the nothing from which they came.”

“Why?” Crowley asks.

“Why not?” the thing answers, void smile spreading across the lower half of it’s narrow face.

And then Crowley is unhooking Beelzebub’s arms. When he lowers them down, Beelzebub hates how their legs, still embarrassingly weak, give out beneath them. Teeth gritted, Beelzebub kneels on cold flagstone.

Crowley steps away, turning toward the abomination of limbs and hands.

“Demon Crowley?” Beelzebub calls when he takes a careful step forward.

“Gonna get Aziraphale,” Crowley says, soft.

The thing - Entropy - looks down. Round eyes unblinkingly survey the courtyard. 

“Aziraphale,” it says, singing the name in that horrifying voice. “Is he the soft looking one? He did put up a formidable fight.”

“I’m taking him with me,” Crowley says, low and dangerous.

The thing laughs and it’s so awful Beelzebub has to physically refrain from flinching back. “No. No you’re not,” it says, and laughs again. “He’s strong. And I need the strong ones. I like wearing them best. And if I’m not careful, even the strong ones-”

The clawed hands encircling Sandalphon squeeze. Within moments, black cracks are crawling ominously over the angel’s form. The air begins to whine. Then, with a pop the angel’s form folds in. He shatters into a cloud of black and gold dust that falls silently to the floor.

“Oops,” the thing exclaims.

Beelzebub and Crowley stare, mouths open and the pile of angel at the creature’s feet.

That kind of power is...Beelzebub can’t conceive of it. Not that they have time to try. Before the last Sandalphon dust speck has fallen, Crowley launches into motion.

“Shit,” Beelzebub breathes, because this is not a fight any angel or demon can win.

Crowley gets to Aziraphale before the creature does, but he only just has time to drag Aziraphale aside before a clawed hand spears down, piercing clear through the stone tile. Crowley, scrambling, drags Aziraphale back, avoiding a second stabbing hand.

“Move faster you idiot,” Beelzebub shouts.

“Trying to,” Crowley yelps, yanking his angel another several feet back, barely avoiding the third strike.

He’s not going to make it, Beelzebub realizes with a sinking certainty. Crowley has always been a slippery one, but this thing - this Entropy - is like nothing Beelzebub has ever encountered. It has the strength to casually turn an angel to dust, and Crowley was half-exhausted when they entered the courtyard. 

Beelzebub should get the hell out of here - while the Entropy creature is preoccupied with Crowley. 

Bracing their hands on cold stone, Beelzebub, rises on shaking legs. Their legs burn - and not in the good way. Clenching their jaw, Beelzebub sways, remaining determinedly upright. They take an unsteady step back, away from the chaos in the courtyard.

Behind them, Crowley screams.

Beelzebub, shaking with effort, looks back.

Crowley is on the ground, one leg speared by the creature’s clawed fingers. He’s pushed Aziraphale behind him as the creature, balanced on pale, spindly legs, rises above them both. It’s speaking, void-black mouth stretched in that wide, unsettling grin.

“Poor, poor demon,” it croons, and presses the claw deeper. “Abandoned by God. Left to rot in Hell. And then you didn’t even fit in there did you? What kind of outcast doesn’t even fit in with the outcasts?”

The claw twists and Crowley gasps.

Beelzebub closes their eyes, clenching aching muscles in an effort to remain upright. If they are going to escape, it’s now or never.

“I do want the angel,” the creature says, it’s porcelain face looming over Crowley, “but don’t you worry demon - I’ll mercifully end your miserable existence.”

Beelzebub moves.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A creature calling itself Entropy is revealed! It seems to have plans to end this universe, and has already single handedly conquered both Heaven and Hell (yikes). Entropy intends to use Aziraphale and to kill Crowley, and Beelzebub is left with a choice. Beelzebub will…

Fight. Mustering their remaining strength, Beelzebub will show this Entropy abomination the hell a real demon is capable of raising. It’s not that they care about Crowley (or his stupidly nice angel)….they just don’t want to feel like they owe him.

Flee. Beelzebub is a survivor. They are injured and weak and they are not about to enter into a fight they have little hope of surviving. Sorry Crowley….it’s nothing personal. (Note: this will result in an immediate POV shift)

Please comment or reblog to vote! :) 

(also, I absolutely love all of you who have been taking the time to explain the reasoning behind your votes. It’s always interesting to see where you all are coming from!)

Part 16

[flightfoot]

Ladycat Ch. 9

AO3

…

…

…

Wha-?

What-?

What am I?

You’re here to help, something whispered inside her. To be the missing linchpin your creator so desperately craves. To allow him to regain what he has lost.

Snippets of memories played.

Her creator laughing, joking with a girl in a red-and-black-spotted suit.

Them fighting side by side, again and again and again.

A curious cat - the same girl, though she wasn’t sure how she knew that - purring, comforting her creator.

Her creator facing off against his father.

The cat - the girl - saving him.

And being twisted, tainted, turned into something she was not.

Her being shuddered.

She could feel it.

Her creator’s happiness, his contentment, his peace around the girl - around Ladybug.

His betrayal, his fear, his anger towards his father, the man who he and Ladybug had been fighting for so long.

And his fear tinged with despair as Ladycat was akumatized.

She had to help him.

She was created to help him.

And… and she wanted to help.

She wanted to see him smile. 

Something changed.

A heaviness spread through her, making her feel solid.

Real.

Part of the world.

She opened her eyes.

------

“Dude, did you mean to do that?”

Adrien shook his head, eyes still locked on… on…

“I- I guess when I was asking for someone to help us, someone that could fill the gaping hole in our team from Ladybug’s absence, the Miraculous took it literally.”

In front of him stood a girl in a red suit with black spots, sporting two black pigtails.

She looked exactly like Ladybug.

The girl opened her eyes, looking at them.

A beat passed.

Then another.

Until a full minute had passed.

Alya broke the awkward silence. “Um… hi?”

The girl looked over at her. Her brow - or rather, her mask - furrowed. “You - I don’t know you but… I feel like I should…?” She seemed to mutter that last bit to herself.

Alya glanced at Adrien. He shrugged. 

Alya frowned. “Well… you SHOULDN’T know any of us, I mean, you didn’t even exist before this - wait.”

Looking quickly at her friends, her mind churned. “Am I the only one you don’t know?”

The girl shook her head. “I don’t know the boy in the baseball cap either.”

“But you DO know who Adrien is,” Alya stated.

The girl tilted her head to one side. “My creator?”

“Errrrrr…” Adrien said.

“Wait… you’re this girl’s creator…” Alya mused. “So that means… Adrien, I think you just became a father.”

“I’m… a father…?” Adrien muttered to himself. He stared into the distance, as if trying to solve a complicated algebra problem in his head, one that had a lot of different parts that he needed to keep track of.

“He’s not like him!” the girl snapped.

Huh?

“Adrien’s not like who?” Alya asked.

“He’s not like his father!” the girl hissed.

Alya shivered. She hadn’t seen that kind of anger on Ladybug’s face since - well, since the last time Chat Noir was seriously hurt in battle.

“That… that man… he HURT my creator. Adrien. He- he hurt the girl my creator loves. He does NOT deserve to be compared to his father.”

“How do you know all that?” Alya asked, even more confused. 

“It’s why I was created. It’s what I’m here for,” the girl said, standing up straight, exuding authority in a way that eerily reminded Alya of the actual Ladybug. “To help my creator against the fight with his father, to help save the girl he loves.”

----

Adrien stared at the sentimonster he created.

At the girl he made.

At his…

He- he was way too young to be a father!

And she looked the same age as him. Hell, she looked like the love of his life!

He’d assumed that he’d create some sort of monster to help him, like that moth sentimonster from Heroes Day. Like a pokemon maybe?

But… but this wasn’t some creature. Certainly not one like the moth, which only seemed to exist to blow them away, which didn’t appear to have much in the way of intelligence or will of its own

This was - okay maybe not a human, but close enough at least. 

This sentimonster was a person.

“To help my creator against the fight with his father, to help save the girl he loves.”

What?

Mentally Adrien reviewed the past minute, what she’d said.

That she’d been created to help him.

That it was why she was there.

It was true. That was why she’d been created. He’d made sure of that.

But he hadn’t expected an actual person.

He glanced down at the amok - at Marinette’s Lucky Charm.

He could command her to go into battle with them. She already seemed willing to at any rate - no surprise there, he’d created her for that purpose. It would be the safer option, especially after the “hypothetical” scenario Fu had laid out of what could happen if a sentimonster went rogue.

But would that make him that much better than Hawkmoth?

Than his father?

Hawkmoth took advantage of people’s weaknesses, of their desires in order to make them fight for him. It wasn’t usually explicitly against their will - they still had to agree to it - but as the Butterfly wielder, he could put enough pressure on them, speak enough honey into their ears that they’d go along with it. So far only Ms. Bustier had been able to resist him, and not for very long. 

This sentimonster - this person - on the surface wanted to help him. 

But did she have any more choice in the matter than Hawkmoth’s akumas?

They were willing to help him too. 

But they were vulnerable when he akumatized them. It was difficult to fight him off. 

He may not have experienced it himself (and now he had an idea of why that was), but he’d heard from others what it was like. How Hawkmoth pressed into their heads, twisting their desires so that it seemed like him ‘helping’ them was the only solution to their problems, the trouble with remembering why they SHOULD refuse Hawkmoth.

Amoks were used to control sentimonsters.

With how similar the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculouses were, he had a sinking feeling on *how* that control was enacted.

The sentimonster - the girl - whatever she was called (they’d have to figure out a proper name for her) had said that he wasn’t like his father.

She was right.

He held out the amok in front of him. “You know what this is, right?” he asked her. 

She nodded, looking a little confused. “It’s the thing that lets me exist, right? I- I might be over here, but…” She seemed transfixed by the bracelet, her eyes unable to leave its beads. “I can feel myself in there as well. Like… like this is my body, but that- that’s where *I* really am? Somehow?” She seemed to mutter that last bit to herself.

Good. So she knew how important it was, how vital. 

Walking up to her, he gently placed it in her hand, closing her fingers over the charm. She looked up at him, amazed and slightly confused, a smile dawning on her face as she hugged it to herself, holding it where her heart would be.

“I don’t want to control you or decide things for you,” Adrien told her. “Even accidentally. I’d love your help, but only if you choose to help - not because you’re forced to or feel obligated to. You exist now, and what you do with your existence is up to you.”

----

Up to her?

Well… she did still want to help Adrien. The pressure on her being, on her… on her soul, a pressure she hadn’t even known was there, lifted as soon as his fingers withdrew from her amok. So she didn’t feel compelled the way she was before.

But what she’d seen and felt while she was being created? Still held true. 

And Adrien handing her the amok just made her want to help him more.

She closed her eyes, concentrating on the charm, on the magic inside, the magic that allowed her to exist.

He’d handed her soul to her, to ensure that others couldn’t force her to do anything - even if that someone was himself.

She made her decision. The first major one of her life.

“Thank you, Adrien. I will help you.”

----

“WHAT?!”

Panther looked up, startled.

Hawkmoth glared at a nearby TV.

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news!” the lady on the TV said. “I know we’ve all been worried with Hawkmoth running loose and Ladybug going missing, but it seems that our worries are at an end!” 

The camera panned to several colorful moving dots, zooming in and-

Wait-

One of those was Her Boy.

Another was the girl she’d seen before in Hawkmoth’s cavern, the one she’d ignored because…

...why DID she ignore her before anyway? It’d seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but why…?

She shook her head. Something told her that she shouldn’t dwell too hard on the matter.

There was another boy she vaguely recognized dressed as a turtle, and lastly-!

That… that fourth figure…

The pit dropped out of her stomach.

That was her.

Her as she used to be at least, before.

He replaced me. He doesn’t need me.

Of course, why WOULD he want her?

Her tail curled around her body as she retreated into herself.

She- she’d FAILED him. 

She meant to protect him, to make him feel happy again! That’s why she’d fought against him, so that she could take his Miraculous and let Hawkmoth restore Her Boy’s mother, restore his happiness.

Her eyes narrowed at the replacement. 

The interloper.

 That- that copy was fooling him, wasn’t she?! Was taking on her form so she could take him for herself.

She was NOT going to let that stand.

She’d protect Her Boy, no matter what. 

Someone stroked her head.

Her ears flattened instinctively as she looked up at Hawkmoth. 

“Don’t worry, my pet,” he told her. 

For some reason she couldn’t fathom, she suddenly wanted to bite his hand off.

“They’re out in the open now. And if they really HAVE managed to get a version of you - somehow - that just gives me another chance to get the Ladybug Miraculous and fulfill my wish - and with it, yours as well.”

She yowled in agreement. If Hawkmoth noticed that Panther used the opportunity to shy away from him, he didn’t say anything.

[anika-ann]

Heart Too Cold, but Friends of Gold - Pt.9

The Flares

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 3090

Summary: Avenger!reader AU. Part 2 of Melting Hearts series. Part 1 HERE.

In which Steve has too many redheads in his life and they are a lot to handle. (Dealing with A:AOU, pt.2)

Warnings: swearing, light angst,... eh

Story Masterlist

────── ·❆· ──────

But did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light? Did you feel the smoke in your eyes? Did you, did you? Did you see the sparks filled with hope? You are not alone 'Cause someone's out there, sending out flares

(The Script – Flares)

 The hallucination – the vision, perhaps – was a true eye-opened. Not because it was any news that Steve was the one to blame for your departure, no, but because actually seeing possibly a very true picture of what was happening to you was something that felt like a bullet to his brain. It was maddening and it should have made him spring into further action; yet, Steve couldn’t find himself having a strength to get mad. He was just too tired. Exhausted, with the weariness settled deep inside his bones.

And while he never had been the one to weep over the universe apparently hating him, he allowed himself to feel that way; especially when Maria Hill advised them to lay low and Clint took them into a safe house.

Correction: Clint took them home. Clint Barton had a home without anyone knowing (except Natasha, because Natasha knew everything and shared nothing), two healthy kids and a beautiful loving wife, living in a rural idyll. And once that information settled in Steve’s head, his heart broke on an entirely new level.

He could have a home. He could see himself having a home. He might not have before, not after coming out of the ice, not even long after actually. Not even the first time he had realized he was in love with you, no. It came with gradually and Steve hadn’t been quite aware of it; perhaps that was the actual truth that the vision created by Wanda Maximoff had revealed. With that hallucination, it had dawned to Steve that he had been ready to go home, for a while now; no matter what exactly home looked like, no matter how much fighting he would still be doing, for how many mission he would be going or if he would be able to reduce that.

He was ready to go home and he wished to go home, with you.

And in reality, it didn’t matter, because the most essential part of what he considered home was missing.

It was a relief when Fury showed up and helped them to figure out how to fight back – the battles they actually could fight. It reminded Steve that there were still battles worth fighting. It took his dark thoughts away, or at least it pushed them on the back burner for a while.

Then again, meeting Maximoff’s once more wasn’t helping. And the girl, suddenly so eager to fix things she had done wrong, reminded him of you too much. He shook off the thought when he went for what could be the final battle and tried his best to focus. No matter how insane the suddenly levitating city was.

And then they all knew it was the end.

“Stark will find a way to blow this rock,” Natasha stated rather calmly as they caught a moment to breathe in on the battlefield.

It was surprising how much faith she seemed to have into Tony with how he kept doing things behind their backs – then again, everyone seemed to be keeping secrets from another lately. But that wasn’t what he found outraging at her statement.

The city was flying and there was no way to save all the people before Stark would make it explode. Lost lives. Failure. Again.

Not on his watch.

“Not until everyone’s safe.”

Natasha looked at him with disbelief, probably questioning his sanity. “Everyone up here, versus everyone down there-“

“I’m not leaving this rock with one civilian on it,” Steve exclaimed stubbornly, the flame of fury lighting up in him.

No. Not this time, not again. He had failed too many times. He had lost so many battles and he was not about to lose another one, he was not about to fail people again.

Natasha gave him a sad smile. “I’m not saying we should.”

The look they exchanged spoke thousand words. This was indeed the end. They truly wouldn’t leave – they would either save everyone’s life or more likely died trying. There was a strange peace in that. That was how he was supposed to go, right? Like a soldier. Like a person who had decided to dedicate his life to save someone else’s. He just selflessly wished it would have been yours or Bucky’s or of someone who was closer to his heart. But he didn’t get to choose.

It was as if Natasha read his thoughts, when she whispered: “There are worse ways to go. Where else am I gonna get a view like this?”

Steve looked briefly over the edge of the flying crater of the city. He would think Natasha was right; but there were so many things he would rather see before he would close his eyes forever. Your smile for example, no matter where the two of you would be. Just your smile, knowing you were safe and he hadn’t failed.

But Steve wasn’t destined to have such luck.

When Fury’s voice announced them that the view would actually get better via their comms, Steve couldn’t help but chuckle and feel a little flicker of hope. A flare in the endless darkness. Maybe there were things they could fix and people they wouldn’t fail after all.

He only realized he had been a fool thinking that, when it was over and one of the lives they lost was Wanda Maximoff’s brother’s. Strangely enough, Steve envied him. But only a bit.

────── ·❆· ──────  

The weirdest thing was Tony Stark being the one to pluck up his courage not to give up. Not that he was aware of that.

Saying goodbye to him as Steve decided to stay at the army base with Natasha, Tony had told him something so simple that it shouldn’t have moved Steve the way it did.

“Maybe I should take a page from Barton’s book. Buy Pepper a farm, hope nobody will blow it up…” Tony hummed almost lost in thoughts and Steve was once again surprised how the billionaire managed to bring a smile on his face despite all of their differences.

“The simple life.”

“You’ll get that too someday,” Tony reassured him with a smirk that poorly covered the sincerity behind his words. It was the softness in his eyes that gave it away.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“Definitely, Cap. You know that me taking off doesn’t mean I’ll stop looking, right? You shouldn’t either. She’s out there somewhere. We’ll find her and bring her home.”

Steve smiled shakily at him, feeling the familiar adrenalin and determination flooding his veins. Tony was right. You were out there and they would bring you home, they just needed to try hard enough.

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Any time, Capsicle.” Tony patted Steve’s arm before he slid into his fancy car, the door clicking shut. Then the window rolled down, Tony’s head sticking out. “Oh, and do me a favour. Pop the question when we do, okay?”

The captain felt his cheeks burn, a chill running down his spine as Tony somehow sensed the change in Steve’s longing, but he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Sure. Take care, Tony.”

The Iron Man saluted him with two fingers and with a roar of his sports car’s engine and a whole lot of whirled dust disappeared in the distance. Steve stared into nothingness for a an embarrassingly long time.

────── ·❆· ──────  

He found Natasha absently staring into a wall, a tablet in her hand forgotten. She turned to him when the door clicked behind him.

“Done gazing into Tony’s eyes? Ready to go to work?” she teased, an easy smile on her lips.

The corners of her mouth rose higher when she saw his expression; she hadn’t seen him this determined for a while. It was funny what could make people happier. Natasha didn’t think losing Bruce somewhere in a quinjet could do that. Then again, they just saved multiple lives. Unlike her, Steve deserved the feeling of victory. If she didn’t feel quite the same, no one needed to know.

Steve’s thumbs slid into the loops of his belt as he stopped in front of her, rocking on his heels.

Uh-oh. Big announcement coming, she could tell as much, and she wasn’t sure she would like it.

“I’m ready,” Steve confirmed and one look into his eyes told Natasha that he spoke it was the truth – but not quite.

She knew that look too well. He had it every time they got a track on you. And since she knew for a fact that there were no new leads… her heart sank.

“Steve…”

Steve could immediately tell Natasha understood, just like he could see she didn’t approve.

“I should be out there, looking for her. I need to be, because she’s somewhere, alone, and she can’t hide forever. I’ll find her – but it needs to be my priority from now.”

“Steve,” she addressed him, softer this time, wary of her tone, so it didn’t sound like she was admonishing him. “We got no lead for eternity-“

“That only means we need to try harder!”

“We’re doing our best and you know it. The moment we get the tiniest lead – like the last time with early snow in London –, we drop whatever we do with the recruits and we’ll be on our way.”

“Natasha-“ he started out again, but she cut him off.

“You’re not the only one who’s desperate to find her, Rogers! But the world hasn’t stopped turning! There are still threats and we need to deal with it. She wouldn’t want to-“

“Don’t you dare to speak for her, Romanoff-!“

“For God’s sake, Steve! Do you really think she would have asked you not to look for her if she wanted you to drop everything and come find her? “

He gasped as he felt the air knocked out of him.

It pissed him off, the burning feeling of betrayal squeezing his chest. Why was she discouraging him from this? Why? And how dared she to speak for you? She hadn’t seen it. She hadn’t seen what he had, what they had been doing to you and finally it hadn’t been her idly hands letting you suffer, only watching it all happen.

Steve couldn’t hold it anymore. So he exploded.

“What she did was stupid! She could be tortured right now, Natasha, serving as someone’s personal lab rat! You said it yourself, we didn’t get a single lead-”

“Exactly. Where would you go?”

“I don’t know!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air helplessly, his breathing getting quicker. Because she totally hit the nail on the head – Steve had no clue, but he was sick it. He needed to know, he needed to do something, because just waiting for something fall into his lap was torture. “But anything is better than doing nothing!”

“We’re not doing nothing, Rogers. We just saved countless lives-“

“But not the one that mattered!” he cried out, his fist hitting the railing so hard it shook around the whole room. The sound of it resonated in the suddenly silent space as the severity of the sentence fell on both Natasha and Steve.

The redhead pressed her lips together, tears she would later deny gleaming in her eyes. Steve leaned onto the railing, bowing his head in defeat. He did not mean to say that. Especially not to Natasha, who had just lost Bruce to God knew where.

Shit.

“I’m sorry, Natasha, I-“

The spy shook her head, blinking the sudden prove of weakness from her eyes.

“I get it. And I agree with the stupidity, but she did it because she believed it was the only option and a right one. And I rather believe she’s just that good neither we nor anyone else can find her than that she was captured.”

Her voice was thick with emotions she didn’t want to show and the guilt stung harder in Steve’s gut. He was being an ass. A big one. A selfish one on top of that.

“…I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“I think I’ll live,” she sighed, lighting the tablet up. “I get it, Steve. I miss her too.” And I miss Bruce too. I’m scared for him, was left unspoken, but they both knew it might as well could.

“Yeah. I… I know.”

“And it’s not your fault she’s gone. I know you think it is, but that’s nonsense. Don’t beat yourself over it. Just don’t give up on her.”

Steve sighed, closing his eyes and attempting to regain his composure. His balled hands shook inconspicuously. He needed to be strong. He was expected to be strong, especially in front of the new recruits and no matter how much he hated it, moping wouldn’t help anyway. And hot-headed decisions, flying form one end of the world to another without an actual goal neither.

He cleared his throat. “Alright. What do we have here?”

“Bunch of kids who think they know what they’re doing.”

“And they are not a team.”

“And they are as far from a team they could be,” Natasha corrected him as she handed him the tablet and threw the door to a corridor leading to a training room open.

Steve studied all the names and pictures, mentally cataloguing them. “Sounds like a lot of work. Shall we start?”

────── ·❆· ──────  

“Captain Rogers?” Wanda whispered shyly, her unmistakable voice heavy with accent.

Steve stopped in his tracks, trying to plaster a smile on his face. Interacting with her… it was too much. Her age, her powers, her persona – it was too similar, too much of a painful reminder of you and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the resemblance nagged him in the back of his brain like a constant itch he couldn’t scratch, because he couldn’t reach it.

“Yes, Wanda?”

“I’m sorry.”

Steve tilted his head, pretending his heart wasn’t beating out of his chest. Had she read his mind? She probably had, if not recently, then surely when they had been fighting against each other. But why speak up now? It must have been about something else.

“What for?”

“I am… still learning how to control the abilities,” she started hesitantly and it confused the hell out of Steve.

Was she apologizing for not making progress fast enough? They had just finished the first training. And of course, had fought a battle against an army of robots.

“That’s understandable. But you’re doing great.”

She smiled faintly. “Thank you. But… it’s… I can’t turn them off. I can… feel the pain and deep sadness settled in you.”

Steve froze. Well. Shit.

“And… when I caused you the hallucinations… I got a glimpse. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he rasped, not even shocked how the combination of her persona and the topic of their conversation brought right back on the edge. “You believed you were doing the right thing. We can’t change the past, but we can still do our best to make a better present and future.”

“Like she did?”

Steve glared into her eyes at the note, unable to say a word. She lowered her gaze.

“I said I got a glimpse, but she was almost everywhere – each of you thought of her. She always made an appearance, at least for a moment. I… I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I just… I guess I want to say thank you for giving me a chance to redeem myself and… and-”

“Wanda… you deserve a chance. You don’t need to thank for that. As for the other thing… I would appreciate if we kept the conversation about that on minimum.”

“Of course! I’m just… I’m working on some things, I’m trying to… to control someone’s emotions and I could help you to— I know it’s invasive!” she blurted out hastily as Steve’s expression changed into a horrified one. “But… with Pietro… I was able to keep tabs on him when on the field, we had a connection-“

“I’m very sorry for your brother, Wanda, I truly am,” Steve said softly, pouring some compassion in and resting his hand gently on her shoulder. Grief he understood too well.

“I… what I’m trying to say is that I would probably feel him at the other side of the world, because we were really close, and— and maybe-- maybe if you let me know Sno--- the person that you feel you have disappointed well enough, if everyone would let me… I think that perhaps with Vision’s help, I might be able to find her mind and track her down.”

Steve stared at the young woman paralyzed, absolutely stunned and with own mind a complete and utter mess.

Did she just said— did she-- could she really--- it sounded too good. It sounded insane. Like a sci-fi; but then again, his whole life was. This woman could read minds. She could move things with her mind, she could read emotions. She could---- could she really find you? It seemed impossible.

He didn’t want to give in to the hope. He always had, every single time the recognition system had found a face almost matching yours only to find a girl who could be your twin, every single time a weather anomaly occurred and he would chase down the lead like a madman only to find nothing, always scolding himself for believing you would be so careless. And the truth was, he was growing tired of it. He always followed, never letting the trail go cold, but with every failed attempt, he was being kicked lower and lower. The spark of determination from Tony had been very short-lived.

“Captain Rogers?”

“Yes?” Steve snapped from his daydreaming, eyeing Wanda absently.

“Your thoughts are screaming at me-- not your fault. Just… do you want to tell me about her? If I know her, I can start trying. And I understand we don’t know each other too well for you to open your mind completely so I could see and hear for myself. So… you could just tell me,” she suggested, this time being the gentle one. It was another reminder of you and it hurt like hell. And at the same time, the offer was painfully tempting. “I really do remind you of her a lot, don’t I?”

Steve gave her a sad smile, little broken on its edges.

“You have no idea.”

“Give me one, then. I could be a good listener.”

Steve chuckled as she offered him an elbow in a poor attempt of a joke and blinked away the tears he had no idea where had come from. He really should get a grip on himself.

“Okay. She… she was someone very special and unique…”

────── ·❆· ──────  

Part 10

────── ·❆· ──────  

Tags: @mermaidxatxheart, @murdermornings, @elisaa-shelby @ask-hellbent-tweek @cxptain, @kallafrench, @smilexcaptainx @scentedsongrebel, @orions-nebula

────── ·❆· ──────  

Bear with me. Were geting back to our Snowflake to see what she’s been up to... and as ou can probably guess, things will happen ;)

Thank you for reading!

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About the MCU (Phase Three Part One)

...I’m gonna have to split this one into two parts. Because Phase three is when these movies start getting good, and which in turn results in my have a LOT to talk about. So, here’s the first half of this phase.

10th place: Captian Marvel (6/10)

This is not the worst MCU movie. This isn't even close to the worst thing in the MCU. THAT honor goes to Inhumans, which might just be the most boring TV show that I ever had the displeasure of watching. And if you're a person who only counts the movies as part of the MCU, then there is no way you can look me in the eye and tell me that Captain Marvel is worse than Thor: The Dark World. Because this movie actually has better action, a handful of funny moments, a decent (albeit predictable) story, a fantastic tribute to Stan Lee, and Goose the Cat. Who is free from any criticism due to being equal parts adorable, hilarious, and awesome.

However, there is one major issue that this movie has, and that is Brie Larson's Captain Marvel. Before you say anything, no, it's not because she barely smiles (shut it, if you think that's actually the problem). The problem is that I just don't know what they want her character to be. Is she meant to be playful yet mysterious, like Marceline from Adventure Time? Is she meant to be a stoic badass with a deadpan sense of humor like Garnet from Steven Universe? Or is she supposed to be this perfect hero with witty remarks like Kim Possible from Kim Possible? Because at times, it feels like the people behind this movie are trying to do all three personalities at once, which makes the character feel disjointed. Plus, it's probably not a good thing that I listed three female characters in children's shows better than this character in this movie for teens and adults. Nor is it a good thing that every actor, including the males, act circles around Brie Larson, who is known for giving Oscar-worthy performances. Still, I'm willing to allow the benefit of the doubt that this issue will be solved in time for Captain Marvel 2, as it took both Captain America and Thor a while before they finally became fan favorites. For now, while Captain Marvel is nowhere near the worst, I wouldn't exactly jump the gun and call it the best, either.

9th place: Doctor Strange (6/10)

This movie is somehow both memorable and forgettable at the same time. The visuals alone help make Doctor Strange memorable, seeing the world bend and morph in a way that is best experienced on the most gigantic screen you can find. The visuals even lend to making the fight scenes unforgetable, resulting in action that's hard to forget. It's still just punching and kicking, but the way this movie uses punching and kicking that makes it fun to watch. Such as having Strange fight wizards as astral projections, or while the world is reversing in on itself, dodging debris as it puts itself back into place. Plus, that ending is not only the most unique defeat of a bad guy that any MCU movie has done, but it also proves how selfless Doctor Strange can be as a hero. So I won't be able to forget bits and pieces of this movie...but I can easily forget everything else. The jokes, plot, characters, and especially the villain are things I tend to lose track of on each rewatch. Which might honestly be worse than it sounds. Because while it's still a fun movie that I recommend, it's not a good thing that I constantly forget it, even as I'm writing this.

8th place: Ant-Man and the Wasp (7.5/10)

How is Ant-Man and the Wasp a dividing movie for MCU fans? People either really hate it or just think it's ok, and I don't get that. Because personally, I think this movie is really good. Yeah, there are leaps in logic, and the ending is a huge cop-out, especially since this movie came after Avengers: Infinity War. But I think Ant-Man and the Wasp incredibly improve upon the original with a tighter story and better-written characters, who all have great personalities and fantastic chemistry. Sure, these characters fall flat during certain dramatic moments, but really succeed when written for comedy. My personal favorite is Cassie, who might just be my favorite little girl character in fiction. She admires her father for everything he does, going so far as to smile with glee as he's wreaking shop in the finale. 

Speaking of her father, I really love how Ant-Man and the Wasp differentiate Scott Lang from the rest of the Avengers. In a world of gods and supersoldiers, you have Ant-Man, who's basically just a regular guy. The best example that shows how it that montage of him doing stuff while under house arrest. If any of our other heroes were in this situation, they would take advantage of the time to train, build cool s**t, and maybe even meditate. But for Scott? He wastes time singing karaoke, practicing close-up magic, and crying himself to sleep while reading The Fault in our Stars. It's a great way of showing how he's a little fish in the world's biggest pond. And I like that.

This movie may not be perfect, but every now and again, it's nice to get something small-scale (get it) and personal within the grand adventures in the MCU.

7th Place: Captain America: Civil War (8/10)

There are three camps of people who argue about this movie. The first camp is the people who fight about whether this is a Captain America movie or an Avengers movie. The second camp is the people who disagree on how Captain America: Civil War is the same as Batman v. Superman-Dawn of Justice. The third and final camp argues whether or not the movie is better than the comics. And I'm about to address each and every one of these camps.

First off, this is an Avengers movie. Captain America may take a more primary role, but consider that Thanos is easily the main character in Avengers: Infinity War, and how that movie isn't called Thanos: Infinity War. The fact that Cap barely takes center stage kind of ruins this being his movie, which is why it's arguably the worst Captain America movie by default, but that doesn't change how good this is. Mostly because it's easily a better Avengers movie than Age of Ultron.

As for how this movie is the same as Batman v. Superman, I can tell you right now that it isn't. They're similar in concept, I'll give you that, but their differences meet with the execution of said concepts. Yes, both movies have two people with different ideas fighting it out due to heroes causing collateral damage while inadvertently doing what an evil mastermind, with a tediously complicated plan, expects them to do. But you wanna know what Civil War has that BvS doesn't? Comedy. Marvel's ability to laugh at itself, to realize that what they're making shouldn't be taken too seriously, is what makes it worth the watch. Every. Time. Plus, I find it hilarious that a movie with four times the amount of superheroes manages to give each character a proper story and subplot than the film with just three.

This leads me to my third point: The movie is much better than the comics. Would it have been more awesome to see the number of characters we have now battle it out than seeing the relatively small one in this movie? Maybe. But look at Infinity War and Endgame. As good as those movies are, there were still many characters that got the short end of the stick. By keeping the cast small, Civil War gives each hero time to have an understandable motivation to pick one side or the other while giving each of their stories a proper conclusion. Even Black Panther and Spider-Man, introduced in this movie as sequel bait, still somehow manage to have clear motives and satisfying stories. Plus, where the comics make it hard to pick a side between Captain America and Iron Man because both made awful decisions after awful decisions, the movie makes it hard to pick and choose because both have to make hard decisions. Both Cap and Iron Man have clear reasons for their choices as well as hesitations. But they still see the point of view of the opposing side and try to talk things out. Which makes things all the more heartbreaking when they finally disagree. Something that never happened in the comics even once.

Overall, Captain America: Civil War is a great movie. It may not entirely be a Captain America movie, and the villain's plan is, again, tediously complicated. But it's still good because it understands the importance of characters and even a sense of humor. Which is something that I wish I could say about Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

6th place: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 (9/10)

It's not every day that the sequel is better than the original, let alone being equally good. And yet, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 is just as fun as its predecessor, if not a smidge better. Everything that I love about the first movie is here in spades, with a few improvements added to the appeal. Like the visuals, which not only have the colors and gradient turned up to thousand, but there are also some spectacular shots that at times look like they could be panels in a comic book. Plus, Ego the Living Planet is a much better villain than Ronan ever could be. Ego's motivations are typical, but his charming personality creates a character that's fun to watch while also showing how dangerous a person like Ego could be when his true motivations are revealed. Although, despite improvements, there are still some elements that Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 takes away. Because while most of the jokes are funny, there are some scenes where it's hard to tell if I'm supposed to be laughing or feeling emotional. Also, I just hate what they did to Drax in this movie. In the first one, he was a stoic badass with a deadpan sense of humor. Here, he's written as a dumb a**hole who gets one emotional scene. And it's a powerful one, sure, but it's not enough. Still, I love this movie. If I had to pick which one is better, I would probably say it's Vol 2, but even then, it's a close race, in my opinion.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that’s all for now. Here’s part two.

[the--sad--hatter]

My Big Fat Fake Wedding (Steve x Reader)

WARNINGS - IMPLIED, REFERENCED SMUT, STALKING. 

PAIRING - STEVE ROGERS X READER

I combined several requests to make this because my brain is sleep deprived and hopped up on energy juice and it seemed like a good idea. 

 8: “Oh no… there’s only one bed… whatever shall we do?” “You do realize we are dating right?” – With Steve

 9: “I know you like to make an entrance but that was ridiculous.” – With Steve, Bucky and Sam

 7: “Are you masturbating in there?” “It’s my electric toothbrush!” – With Bucky and/or Steve

My Big Fat Fake Wedding (1/2)

It all started with a simple, run of the mill mission. A group of bank robbers, clad in ridiculous rubber masks. It was hardly an Avengers level threat until one of the robbers shot green flames from his hands and suddenly the police decided that it was above their payroll and frankly, you didn’t blame them. So a small group of Avengers went in, rescued the hostages and took down the robbers. It went smoothly and was over in seconds.

 But it changed everything.

One lucky paparazzi managed to sneak a picture of Captain America, chastely kissing the lips of the Woman who’d punched the flaming robber in the face. Steve had been proud of you, and a little turned on. He’d slipped up, kissing you in public. Suddenly the word was out and the whole world knew about the First Avenger and his Bad-Guy punching, Avenging lady love.

 That was when the letters started.

  Everyone thinks he’s the Golden Boy, but he’s not good enough for you. Nobody is.

  You’re mine. Not anyone else’s.

  I know you play the hero but I see the darkness in you. It matches the darkness in me.

  Will he ever know you the way I know you?

  Will he accept you the way I do?

  They somehow made it into your fanmail and even Tony and Natasha were drawing a blank when trying to trace the sender. Whoever he was, he wasn’t ready to step out of the shadows, choosing instead to remain unseen but not unheard.

 “I can’t believe I have a stalker!” You said.

 “You’re not really famous until you have a stalker.” Clint agreed.

 “I know! It’s so cool!” You crowed.

 Steve stopped his pacing to shoot you a look of disbelief.

 “I mean creepy. It’s so creepy.” You amended quickly.

 “Please take this seriously. Please.” Steve begged and you made a zipping motion across your lips.

 “Cap relax, she’s not the first Avenger to have a stalker and I doubt she’ll be the last. Even if this weirdo crawls out of his basement to try and get to her, he has to get past all of us and you to do so. Even then, if he pulls all that off, he has to face her.” Natasha pointed out calmly.

 “She’s right, he’s just some creep with a crush. Chances are he’ll never act on this and if he does, he won’t get near her.” Sam agreed.

 “Why am I the only one worried about this?” Steve snapped.

 “You aren’t.” Bucky said, crossing his arms and glaring at you.

 “Down boy.” You said, smirking at the brunette super soldier and while his face remained impassive you saw the amusement in his eyes.

 “How about this. We’ll up security on her for a while, she can wear a tracker, take one of us with her when she leaves and we’ll have all her fanmail sorted through before it gets here.” Tony offered.

 “Do I get a say in this?” You asked, raising your hand.

 “No.” Steve said straight away and when everyone winced and backed away from you he realised his mistake.

 “Uh, I have an urgent… thing. Away from here.” Clint said and bolted, mostly everyone following him until it was only you, Bucky and Steve left.

 “Sorry pal, you’re on your own here.” Bucky said apologetically, slipping out of the room.

 Steve shot him a look of betrayal  before he looked at you warily.

 “So you wanna tag me, keep me under lock and key?” You snarled.

 “That’s not what I meant.” Steve said.

 “Really? Because that’s what it sounded like Captain. You think I’m so helpless and fragile that I’m in terrible danger from a fanboy.”

 “No.”

 “I’ve been looking after myself a long time, I can handle Hydra, Aliens, Inhumans, and Super Soldiers if I need to. I’m not now nor have I ever been helpless and you don’t get to ride in on your white horse and play Prince Charming to my damsel in distress!” You raged.

 “IT’S MY FAULT!” He shouted, breaking through your anger.

 “What?”

 “I kissed you. You were so fierce, so irresistible in that moment and I slipped up, I kissed you. I outed us and now there’s someone sending you these horrible letter because of what I did. I know you can take care of yourself, it’s why I lo… admire you so much but if something did happen, if he so much as left a tiny bruise on you then I would never forgive myself.” Steve said.

 His eyes were bright and shining, pleading with you to understand. He had all but fallen to his knees in desperation for you to hear what he was saying and you did, you heard it. You uncrossed your arms and flung yourself at him, his arms catching you automatically and his head lowering so his lips met yours. You melted into the kiss, into the feel of his warmth.

 As much as the apple pie comparison was a cliché when it came to Steve, it was accurate. He was comforting, familiar and delicious with just a touch of spice and heat. Enclosed in his arms, pressed against his chest and his lips moving in perfect tandem with yours always gave you that deeply content feeling in your soul and lit a fire in your blood.

 “Do whatever you have to do to keep me safe Steve.” You whispered against his lips.

 His fingers threaded through your hair, cradling the back of your head while his other hand pressed into the small of you back and he kissed you again, pouring all the unspoken love between you into it.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 The letters kept coming. At first they were every couple of weeks, the weekly, then every few days until there was a new letter every day. They always carried the same message, that Steve Rogers was unworthy and you didn’t belong with him. They grew more detailed, more frenzied and dangerous in tone until the day they went too far and it wasn’t Steve that snapped, it was you.

 “I don’t care how difficult he is to find, I want everyone on this. I want this sociopath found.” You demanded, slamming the latest letter down on the table.

 Bucky stood behind you on your right side, like a dark shadow. He was the first person you had gone to when the letter arrived and his anger, while quieter and more sinister than yours, was just as potent.

 Your stalker had crossed a line, and a big one. He was no longer satisfied with just insulting Steve, leaving thinly veiled threats. He had written a manifesto, a detailed plan on the grisly ways he wanted to kill Captain America while you watched, as a punishment for your ‘bad judgment’. It was so sickening, so horrific that while Bucky had been reading it, you had been in the bathroom, throwing up.

 “We’ve tried everything, looed into every avenue and lead. Whoever he is, he’s really good at hiding. There’s nothing we can do to track him down.” Natasha said apologetically.

 “Then lets stop looking for him and bring him to us.” Tony suggested.

 “Yes!” You said snapping your fingers and pointing at Tony.

 “You and Cap have been dating for a while now, don’t you think it’s time you two kids tied the knot?” Tony suggested, smirking at you.

 “No!” You said, your eyes going comically wide.

 “Wait, no. That could work. We plan a public wedding, make a big deal out of it. It might just push this guy over the edge and bring him into the open.” Bucky said from behind you.

 You glanced at Steve who had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the meeting and was now refusing to meet your eye.

 “Do it.” He decided, standing up.

 “What?” You yelped.

 “You told me to do whatever I had to do, so I’m doing it.” Steve said, still refusing to look at you.

 “Steve…”

 “It’s a fake wedding, we just need to put on a show to lure him out. Stark will take care of it, put on a big affair. He won’t be able to stand by and let it happen and then we’ll have him.” Natasha reasoned with you.

 “You really want to do this?” You asked Steve.

 He clenched his jaw tightly and nodded once.

 “Fine. Fine, I guess we’re getting married.” You snapped, storming out of the room.

 “Wait up.” Bucky called after you when you were halfway down the corridor.

 You looked over your shoulder and saw that he was alone. You scoffed loudly and carried on walking.

 “I know you’re not happy about this but neither is he. Steve doesn’t want a big fake wedding. It’s got to be killing him to do this but he’s doing it anyway, not because he was threatened but because you were.” Bucky snapped and you slowed down and turned back to face him.

 “He hasn’t even told me if he loves me, I don’t know if he does. And now I’ve got to marry him? To trap the physco who is threatening him? I’m allowed to be upset about it Buck and it shouldn’t be you chasing after me, it should be Steve.” You said, leaning against the wall and sighing heavily.

 “Want my advice?”

 “No.”

 “Don’t wait for him to say it. Wait for him to show it because Steve Rogers has always been better with actions than words.” Bucky suggested.

 “I know but…”

 “But?” Bucky asked.

 “He’s Steve. How can I believe he loves me when I’m so clearly not worthy?” You asked honestly.

 “You’re not Thor and he’s not Mjolnir. It’s not a case of being worthy and even if it was, you’re far too good for that punk.” Bucky said, smiling at you.

 “AW Buck, that was clever and sweet. Two characteristics nobody expects from you. You wanna sit down? Need a nap? Your brain must be hurting.” You quipped.

 “See if I’m ever nice to you again, sassy little shit.” He grumbled, stomping away.

 “Hey, old man?” You called after him.

 “What?” He snapped.

 “Wanna give me away?”

 He stopped dead and looked back at you, shocked. There was a flicker of joy in his eyes before he masked it with a scowl.

 “Fine, but I don’t do returns.” He said harshly, thought there was a flicker of a smirk on his face.

 ~~~~~~

 Over the next three weeks, Tony and Pepper went all out and put together the most over the top wedding that had ever been planned. Notices and invitations were sent, announcements were put in the newspaper, Pepper cornered you and dragged you to a dress fitting.

 “It’s a fake wedding!” You insisted.

 “But it has to look real. So you need a dress.” She told you.

 “As long as I can move in it and it has pockets, I’m good.”

 “You want a wedding dress with pockets?” Tony asked in confusion.

 “Yes…”

 “Why?”

 “For knives, chewing gum, my phone.”  You listed.

 “Fair enough.” He said with a shrug.

 Throughout the whole three weeks, Steve used any excuse he could to avoid you. Somehow, you were never in the same room as him alone. He was perfectly polite and caring when he saw you, kissing you on the cheek and smiling at you adoringly. Yet as soon as it was just the two of you, he would suddenly have something urgent to take care of. It was breaking your heart and you were sure he was pulling away.

 If it wasn’t for the flowers, the chocolate’s, the muffin basket and the little texts you would have been convinced you were over.

 Finally it was the night before the big ‘fake’ day. The whole team was whisked away the large estate in The Hamptons where the sting operation was going down.

 And Steve could avoid you anymore.

 “The Master bedroom, for the happy couple!” Tony announced, all but shoving you both through the door and slamming it closed behind you.

 You and Steve looked at each other awkwardly before you broke first and looked away first, checking out the bedroom.

 “Oh no… there’s only one bed… whatever shall we do?” You said dramatically and jumped onto the bed, striking a ridiculous pose.

 “You do realize we are dating right?” Steve asked you, looking befuddled before nervous.

 “Do you not want to share a bed with me? I can sleep on the floor.” He offered quickly, turning red.

 “Are we dating Steve? Because I haven’t seen you in weeks.” You said bitterly, fluffing a pillow up and settling back on it.

 He tentatively came and sat on the edge of the bed next to you, his back to you.

 “When I was young, I believed I would meet a girl and marry her. Then I always got sick and I thought no girl was gonna marry a guy who probably wouldn’t even survive the first year of marriage. When I met Peggy, I thought about it again but then I went into the ice and when I came out the world was different, I was different. So I put those notions behind me again. Then there was you and all those thoughts, they started popping up again and I didn’t know how to deal with them. I’m actually finally getting married, to the girl of my dreams. But it’s a sham.” He said softly.

 “Just because the wedding is fake, it doesn’t mean we are.” You told him, blinking back tears.

 “Is it something you want? I know not everyone does these days.” He asked, his shoulder tensed.

 You sat forwards and leaned on into his arm, pressing your lips to his bicep and lacing your fingers with his.

 “I want you Steve. We’ve barely begun and I don’t know where we’re going yet, but I do want you.” You said.

 He turned his head to look at you.

 “Do you mean that?” he asked.

 “Wholeheartedly.”

 For the first time in weeks he kissed you again and you felt complete. You felt at home. When he undressed you and kissed every part of you, you fell deeper into a state of bliss and when he took you into his arms and made love to you, your soul soared.

 ~~~~~~

 Even fake weddings were stressful and your wedding dress seemed to be glaring angrily at you from where it was hanging on the back of the bathroom door. You dabbed the concealer that you had begged off of Wanda onto the faint lovebites on your throat and sighed, gripping the edge of the sink tightly, trying to calm down. You felt like you were on the verge of a panic attack and all the noise and people had been getting under your skin so you had kicked everyone out, choosing to get ready alone.

 You pinned your hair up in a sort of messy but looks messy on purpose, tousled kind of look. Your make up was done, hickeies were covered, hair was styled… all that was left was the dress. You fidgeted and meandered, checking your reflection in the mirror again, looking for something to fix. You convinced yourself there was a stain on your teeth and pulled your toothbrush and toothpaste out of your toiletries bag. Just as you were starting to wonder if you even had any enamel left on your pearly whites, you heard the bedroom door open and let out a frustrated moan at the thought of interaction.

 “Are you masturbating in there?” Bucky asked bluntly through the door.

 “It’s my electric toothbrush!” You called, switching it off.

 He pushed the door open and glared at your fluffy bathrobe while you glared at his whole person.

 “Shouldn’t you be wearing something a little more bridal and less slumber party?” He asked.

 “Go to many slumber parties do you?” You asked, immediately giggling at the mental image of Bucky having his hair braided and watching Clueless while eating Ben and Jerry’s, face mask on and pink nail polish included.

 He rolled his eyes at you and plucked the dress off of the back of the door, tossing it at you.

 “Get dressed.” He instructed.

 “Make me.” You said childishly.

 He raised an eyebrow at you and took a menacing step towards you.

 “Ok, Ok, I’ll do it!” You yelped.

 “Good girl.” He said, patting you on the head and leaving the bathroom while you scowled after him.

 You pulled your robe off, muttering insults under your breath while you stepped into the dress. You yanked the door open and Bucky immediately snorted.

 “What?” You asked in a panic.

 “Steve’s going to have an asthma attack when he see’s you.” Bucky sniggered.

 “He doesn’t have asthma anymore…”

 “You’re about to bring it back.” Bucky said.

 “You know what, I’m taking that as a compliment.” You decided, turning around and gesturing to the zipper on the back of the dress.

 Bucky got the hint and stepped forwards to zip you up.

 “Really though, how do I look?” You asked seriously.

 He turned you around and put his hands on your shoulders to make sure you were looking at him when he answered.

 “Worthy.”

 ~~~~~~

 “I’m going to kill Stark!” You announced.

 You were waiting outside the hall where the ceremony was about to be held. Steve, your guests, The Avengers, they were all waiting just beyond the doors for the ‘wedding’. It was really happening, and then you had happened to glance up to the ceiling.

 “You might want to save it until you’ve killed Thor.” Bucky warned, watching the side door intently with his head cocked to the side as he listened to something that you couldn’t hear.

 You traced the elaborate set up along the ceiling with your eyes until you found the release mechanism. You glared at one of the staff.

 “You there, stand next to that rope and no matter what, do not, under any circumstances, let anyone pull it!” You ordered.

 You were so stressed and adamant that the poor girl immediately scurried over to it and stood in front of it trembling. At the same moment, Bucky suddenly released your arm and dived to the left.

 That was when all hell broke loose.

 A goat, an actual goat came bounding around the corner, bleating loudly. The girl guarding the rope jumped in fright and suddenly everything happened in slow motion.

 The doors swung open as the first notes of ‘Here Comes The Bride’ Were played by the string quartet Tony had hired, the girl lost her balance and instinctively grabbed the rope to break her fall and yanked it down. One thousand red, white and blue balloons fell down from the ceiling, showering you and floating through the open doors. The terrified goat wriggled out of Bucky’s arms and bounded away, skipping past you and straight down the aisle.

 You stood there, in shock as the whole ceremony stared at you.

 Clint was the first one to laugh, followed by Tony.

 “I know you like to make an entrance but that was ridiculous.” Sam shouted at you, from his spot next to a very awestruck Steve.

A/N This was getting stupidly long so I had to split it into two parts!

[lookbluesoup]

Fallout OC Interview

@robobrainmurdermysterytheatre and @quinndecker214 tagged me to do this LITERAL AGES ago! Thanks for this and IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG it got lost in my drafts I hope it was worth the wait //shot I TAG @nuclearvessel @ronqueesha @tarberrymentats @wild-w4steland-snip3r @daddyfuckinlonglegs @saltsealed @thewookieruns No pressure!!

Choose an OC.

Answer them as that OC.

Tag 5 people to do the same.

1. What is your name? Nathaniel Christian Wright. Maiden name Ronan, if, aha, you like fun-facts.

2. How old are you? You know I lost count somewhere after 240?

3. What do you look like?

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now? I was born a good ways South of here, spent most of my childhood there. Moved to Boston... before the War. Now I stay with Piper in Diamond City between work, got an infield view and everything! Never would have bet on that the day I woke up in the Vault. I guess life’s funny, hunh? I - ...I’m glad to be there.

5. What was your childhood like? Oh, nothing special, really. My Pa was ex-military, a chaplain. Ma stayed home to tend the house, and raise rambunctious sons. She was - good. I wonder sometimes whether she’d be proud of me, out here.

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? Well, I am K i n g of the Castle - a-hem, I mean, General. Yeah, just General. (//Ronnie distantly yells something about the joke not being funny the 80th time)

[[There are rumors of Nate being a leading Railroad Agent, but he absolutely would not admit to that in a casual interview xD]]

7. Tell me about your best friend. Deacon? Hah! What can’t I tell you about him! He’s got a two-dozen kids. Twelve wives. One’s a ghoul. He’s also a synth, but you didn’t hear that from me. Has an extra toe on his left foot. Those sunglasses aren’t a fashion statement, they’re glued to his face. Horrible accident, really. Inoperable. He can speak five languages, including Zetan. I swear, it’s all true! But, ah. He’s a good friend. Better than he knows.

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them! My son, Shaun, lives here at the Castle. I wish I could bring him to Diamond City, let him make friends with the other kids, try to give him something of the life he might’ve had before the War. But I’ve got enemies. The Minutemen have enemies. Comes with the job. It’s safer for Shaun to be here, out of the limelight. And also, you know, with a barracks full of guns ready at a minute’s notice if there’s trouble. My men are family, too. Hell, I feel closer to the people here than I did most of my own blood in the old world. There’s also my butler, Codsworth. And Natalie, Piper’s little sister - well, she may as well be my little sister, too. But hey, keep that one off the record. Nat’d never forgive me.

9. What about a partner or partners? I’m a happily tethered man, bound for life to one kickass reporter, Mrs. Wright. You may have heard of her. 

10. Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? [Nate seems more guarded] Yeah, I know them. That graveyard across the channel used to be their airship. I wish it had ended differently, but... well, war never changes.

11. Who are your enemies, and why? I suppose that’s a natural follow-up question. Well, most of the Raider gangs will attack on sight. Gunners, too. But we’ve managed to clear a pretty safe stretch between major towns over the past year. Since the Minutemen have established a pro-synth stance, more than a few settlements shut their doors on us. Lost a fair number of volunteers. But no violence so far. Other than that... the remnants of Brotherhood here aren’t fond of me, personally. Why? We parted on bad terms. Lets just - leave it at that. Anyone else out here can tell you the story. There are Institute survivors, too. We tried to get as many noncombatants out as we could the day it fell, but it was a battle. It was messy. A lot haven’t forgiven me for turning on them. [sighs] ...Can you blame them? The Minutemen have kept a running list of Courser sightings since then. So many still aren’t accounted for. Keeps me up at night, sometimes.  

12. What about The Enclave? I’ve heard rumors. None of them good. 13. How do you feel about Super Mutants? Tough bastards. I wish we could help them. I know they don’t all go crazy, and Virgil was making progress on a cure. But I haven’t seen him in years. We’re not - really on speaking terms.

14. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw? More than once, and never unscathed. Not bragging! It’s the truth. Take a look at this, [he rolls back his sleeve to show a massive scar running over his upper arm] Piper and I got pinned down, lizard gutted me and nearly lost me an arm. Also? Ruined my best flannel shirt.

15. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? Bunker Hill. What a hellscape. Between the Railroad and the Institute, things were hot enough. But somehow the Brotherhood found out, too. It’s a wonder Bunker Hill wasn’t razed to the ground. My Courser escort was killed in a Railroad ambush and the synths we were after escaped. I barely got out alive.

[[Nate actually killed X4-18 and helped the synths escape, but that’s another Railroad secret :’D]] 16. Do you like fighting? No. But I’ll do what I have to to stay alive and protect the people I care about. 17. What’s your weapon of choice? A modified radium rifle. I was a sniper back in my army days, it’s what I’m trained in. But if the fight does get close, this gun’s versatile enough to still be useful. Wish my loadout back in Anchorage did that. I’m fond of the laser musket, too - but you only get one shot, and then everyone will know exactly where you are. Strategically it’s too limited.

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) My winning charm, of course! [winks] And trekking all over the Commonwealth keeps me fit for when folks aren’t so interested in talking. Piper keeps the luck for both of us. I’m - pretty sure I’m cursed, actually.

S(6) P(7) E(8) C(11) I(7) A(5) L(2)

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? I suppose I should be grateful, really. If not for the Vaults, I’d have died two centuries ago. I’d never have met Piper, or taught Shaun to play baseball. None of this... none of this at all would have happened. [grimaces] Don’t get me wrong. Vault-tec was fucking insane. The things they did to people in some of those Vaults-? I was uncharacteristically lucky. There’s a reason they call me the Sole Survivor, and it’s not from winning some tv game show about living on an island.

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? My Pip-Boy has a Geiger counter built in so I can avoid the worst of it. But sometimes it can’t be helped. I always keep Rad-Away and Rad-X on hand. Other than that, I bring the old vault suit to wear under my clothes if I know exposure’s inevitable. It helps a little. Piper likes to tease me about that, but somehow I think she prefers me with hair and less than six limbs. Plus, my ass looks great in blue. Her words. Not mine. Yes, you can quote that.

21. What’s your favorite wasteland critter? The radstags, no doubt! [motions to Legs Washington] Look at those little extra arms wiggling around. Adorable.

22. What’s your least favorite wasteland critter? Yao guais. They are way too stealthy for something that big. I dunno what they’re eating up in Maine, but Far Harbor was full of them. Big, grumpy ones. And look, have you ever tried to outrun a bear? Don’t.

23. How do you feel about robots? I like the ones that aren’t shooting at me! Codsworth and Ada are friends. Isabel’s eyebot, Sparks? Adorable. I even got this hat from an old Sentry named Ironsides. Those Rust Devils and their junk bots though? I try not to fight them without a lot of backup. Got ambushed by a Succubus once. Not a good time. At all.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now? Why, you planning to rob me? Kidding. About 200, which is a lot for me generally speaking.

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? [Suddenly excited] Wait, does Sunset Sarsaparilla still exist?

26. Do you do chems? Aside from Med-X when I’ve been shot? Not if I can help it.

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? Not as often as in the beginning, but it does happen sometimes. I’ll have dreams where I’m back in my old life, and it’s always... disorienting.

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? There are - a lot. I’ll admit it. Sometimes I wonder, if I’d only just - hm... Well. To be honest, I’ve been trying not to linger so much on what I’ve done wrong, and focus on what I can do right for the future instead. Piper taught me that.

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?  I’ll always be proud to call myself Mr. Wright. If I can be half the man Piper tells me I am, I’ll consider it a life well lived.

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? Geeze, you could give my wife a run for her money with a loaded question like that! I want... a future where folks don’t have to be afraid of monsters coming after them in the night. I want synths to have a fair chance at living their own lives, as who they are, without pretending. I want Shaun to - be able to grow up. For myself? Everything I need is right here already.

[teannamon]

The Black Cat and the Princess (ML Fic)

[ Family Switch AU ] Marinette’s the only child of fashion icon Gabriel Agreste, and Adrien is the adopted child of Sabine and Tom Dupain-Cheng, two of the best bakers in Paris. What happens when their paths meet? 

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The story will somewhat follow the flow of the canon episodes Also a more tolerable Chloe, if that makes you uncomfortable (somehow) then eh… up to you

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“For the last time, Marinette, no is no and that is my final decision”

“Well for the last time as well, my decision is final. I will attend Lycée with Chloe like a normal 16-year old”

The older man sighed and stopped illustrating to look at his daughter standing in front of his work desk, a determined look in her face. He raised a brow, “And how do you suppose you will do that when you need me, your parent, to enroll you?”

His daughter scoffed like the answer is quite obvious, “I can enroll myself you know, and Chloe says I can apply for a scholarship under her father if you’re really that insistent on me not attending. I refuse to be homeschooled, 9 years of that is enough for me”

Gabriel let out a long and deep sigh as he returned to illustrating, not saying anything. Marinette’s confidence started to wind down as her father stayed quiet. Something she hates more than him talking her ear off for how she should or shouldn’t do things because at least when he’s talking she knows what he’s thinking and it doesn’t add to her anxiety.

“W-well, anyways I’m off to my room to prepare my uh, things for next week” she managed to say as she quickly turned to leave the room.

“Marinette,” her father said flatly and she stopped in her tracks, once again facing Gabriel.

“Y-yes?”

“Nathalie will enroll you tomorrow under the scholarship of Mayor Bourgeois to ensure that you actually intend to learn and not just mingle. The Gorilla will drive you to and from the school and anywhere you may go as long as I know beforehand. Understood?”

Marinette blinked. Once. Twice. She feels…happy? Relieved? Amazed? She doesn’t know. The last time he granted her what she wanted that he didn’t approve of was when she wanted to cut her hair short and color it blue because the way she styled it then was that she looked like Chloe when seen from behind. That was 5 years ago.

Realizing that her father was looking at her expectantly from his work desk and that she’s been standing still for a solid minute she shook her head from the initial shock and let out a genuine smile.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she hugged Gabriel in excitement then left the room to prepare for next week, now in high spirits, and inform her only friend.

■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

“Adrien! Adrien!”

“Yes mom?” the blonde boy shouted back as he paused his game.

“Your friends are here, hun” and with that he turned around to open his hatch and was quickly met in a tackle.

“Nino! Seriously, one of these days you’re gonna break my everything, and then I can’t help around the bakery, and then you’ll have to stay here and do everything for me, is that what you want?”

His best friend laughed and got up while picking up his cap, “Chill dude, I just want to show you how excited I am for next week. Speaking of, have you gotten your schedule already?”

As he asked, Nino opened Adrien’s computer to open his best friend’s email, to which Adrien didn’t mind. He got up and dusted his outfit while rubbing his elbows that hit the floor harder than any part of his body during the tackle.

“Yo! what’s up A, your mom told me to bring these up” a voice caught both boys attention back to the hatch to see their journalist friend, Alya bringing up a tray of croissants and cookies.

“Hey Alya, good to see you too” Adrien greeted as she approached the desk and placed the tray of sweets next to the computer Nino was focused on.

“So, what’s pretty boy’s schedule?” she asked, directing the question to her boyfriend who’s opening up his emails.

Nino opened the email he was looking for with an audible ‘aha’ and now the three are looking at Adrien’s schedule.

“Well, at least we have lunch at the same time. Oh! and we’re in the same Physics class, this class will be a breeze” Alya excitedly gestures and Adrien groans.

“Please don’t make me do your worksheets, this isn’t secondary anymore it’s harder in Lycée”

Alya waved her hand dismissively, “No worries, just expect me to be your partner in every groupwork”

“Yay” Adrien replied sarcastically, while raising a fist limply.

“Hey if its any consolation to my girlfriend’s piggybacking, I’ll totally be the most helpful History partner” Nino offered to the blonde to which he glared at the giggling couple.

The rest of the day was spent planning their hangout schedules and their speculations on who the surprise famous student that Chloe was referring to in her latest tweet.

■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

Knock! Knock!

Marinette was startled by the sudden sound and dropped the clothes she was holding in front of her.

“It’s Nathalie, I need to ask a few questions” the voice said from the other door.

“Come in, Nathalie” she said as she picked up the clothes she dropped and placed it in the neater pile next to the mirror. The door clicked but did not open. ‘Oh yeah, I locked it cause I was trying out clothes’

“Hold on, I’ll open it!” in a rush to open the door and not keep her father’s (and hers too but she doesn’t want to think about her that way) assistant waiting too long, she tripped on the pile of clothes. Twice.

Once she managed to untangle herself from her own clothes she seemingly tripped on so easily, the door opened and Nathalie, with her serious face as usual nodded before walking in.

“What is it you wanna ask?”

Nathalie faced her and tapped on a few things on her tablet before talking to her again, “It seems that you have one more elective to choose to complete your schedule”.

Marinette stood beside her as she showed her the list of electives she can choose from. She saw that the Fashion elective has already been chosen-probably chosen by her father, she thought, not that she’s complaining.

“I guess I’ll take Arts” she decided, and Nathalie nodded as she entered Arts into her schedule. Before the assistant left, she turned around as she remembered something. “The scholarship for Mayor Bourgeois, requires you to have at least a grade of 15 or higher in all of your subjects”

“U-understood” she stammered in response as Nathalie left her room and closed the door. The blunette let out a sigh as she returned to her pile of clothes now strewn about because of her tripping incident just a few minutes ago.

‘I need to practice not tripping on everything once I’m school’ she teased herself.

Next Chapter: Marinette trips. Chloe shows off her very talented and famous friend. Misunderstandings ensue. Adrien gets an unexpected gift after class.

↬ Chapter 2 

↬ AO3 Link

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Endnote: I only have a general direction for this story not a detailed one so expect some not-so-expert writing on my part, and I’ll probably revise them when I’m older and wiser. Also, feel free to correct me on some blatant inaccuracies cause I am not an expert with everything I may write.

And being the non-French that I am, I based the education system and curriculum loosely in general terms and how it’s done in my university so yeah there’s that to keep in mind.

Anywho, feel free to hmu for fanfic suggestions, questions, or to just yell at my mistakes lmao

[rough-and-whump]

Rough is a Whumpee

So, yeah, this might end up being a series, ha ha! I tend to hurt myself a lot and this might be a fun thing for me.

Please keep in mind: I might “whumpify” some of my experiences to make it more interesting in a whump context.

I’m not sure if this might be a trigger for anyone, but obvs don’t read this too much if you don’t like the idea of “whump” type things happening to real people. 

Again, I do this for fun, and I’m as clumsy as a three-legged camel walking blindfolded and backwards on a snow-capped mountain.

Some context:

I do karate. Been practicing for about 9 years. I started as an adult and am one of the longer standing members of my club right now. Most of my peers in the front line have been practicing for 20+ years.

I have chosen to do this to myself, because it’s part of what I view as “my journey” as a martial artist. Plus also, I mean, my injuries in karate have never been that serious - I’m partially lucky, but mostly smart about how I fight and who I fight, lol!

I totally have a lot of times when I get hurt. Most times, it’s not bad - it’s just low-level stuff that bothers me during the day. But when I describe it, it definitely does sound bad - I find it’s okay, like, I can still function; but lots of folks I talk to about my injuries look at me like I’m stupid. But, frankly, I can’t afford to just stay home whenever I feel a bit uncomfortable. XD

The incident:

Canada Day Parade with my karate club. It’s been rainy and wet. We know that this makes boards harder to break, but we (me and my student) still wanted to do it. 

Boards seem fine, our test breaks two days before the Parade went well.

Parade time. First three breaks for me go fine. But there’s definitely more hurt in these boards than the ones we broke last year. Still decide to go ahead.

Break four, last of the parade. In front of a group of small kids, namely girls. It’s my student and my fave corner for breaks since the crowd is usually really amped up. 

It’s been raining now for the last twenty minutes - our boards are soaked. We know this, but we still go for it because we’re idiots.

I set up for an elbow break. I’ve done two of these and a front punch break all fine up to now. So I figure, okay, I can do this. Just all the power.

Fire it up, annnnnd... first one - bounce. Don’t swear, try again. Full power. Bounce.

I switch to a hammer fist break and get through it, but ooowwwwwww.

The consequence:

I have some righteous bruising on my elbow and hand from my two good elbow breaks, the front punch and the hammer fist. I don’t bruise easily and I have an olive/tan skin tone, so bruises don’t generally show through. But these are a niiiiice deep purple, ha ha!

Aaaaaand I have a separated AC joint in my right shoulder.

The whump, mental side:

The doubt of whether or not the injury is actually as bad as it is.

Don’t want to seem “weak”, so I often brush off pain that requires frequent and often medication.

Also don’t want to make a big deal if this really isn’t so bad. It isn’t a full on dislocation, it’s fixable, so it can’t be that bad.

Buuuut, legit it hurts. I refuse to take a bunch of painkillers because I don't like how they make me feel. I'm trying to make do using weed and rest.

Part of why I'm purposefully avoiding strong pain killers is also because when I've done that in the past, I've also ended up trying to "push through" my injury and it makes my recovery longer.

Extending on the point above: I’m purposefully choosing to feel more pain so that I know when to kinda pull back from what I’m doing. This said, I still feel it. So I’m spending the day with increased tension in my neck (manifesting headaches to boot) and a bit of mind fog from just having to devote some of my mind to ignoring the pain.

Details on the painkiller thing: I’m choosing not to use Robax, Motrin, or Tylenol much because I legit had a problem with them a few years back. I never developed any actual bad liver or kidney problems, but I was taking about a bottle of Robax Platinum every week for three weeks at one point. That’s a lot of Robax. And that was a recent blip. Before I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety and Clinical Depression, I turned to Robax and alcohol to manage my symptoms of panic and feelings of worthlessness. It really did a number on me. There were a lot of factors pushing me into that corner. Honestly, I wish I had access to weed at that time, because it would have helped me so much to have alternative, healthier, and less harmful pain relief and anxiety help. 

When I first stopped taking Robax and chose to just deal with the pain as best I could, it took me about a month to realize that I was feeling better and better and better. I didn’t know why - I thought hey maybe it was just weather or something. But after some more reflection and a bit of experimentation, I found that it was actually the chemical painkillers that made me feel that way.

Legit I was addicted to painkillers. I went from liking the relief I got from two Robax at a time to needing to take four at a time to get a sort of “high” feeling - I could put on “robax glasses” that made it easier to deal with my abusive boss, the blatant illegal activity happening at work, and the toxic work environment and shit pay.

The whump, physical stuff (aka the good stuff):

I can’t lift my right arm over my head, combined with being a creature of habit and right handed, it’s lead to a lot of “fuck, ow!” moments when reaching up for some stationary at the office or when reaching for something in the cabinets in the kitchen.

Sharp pains occasionally - not often - kind of radiates up and down in severity. I can’t find a trigger for it yet, if there is one. It could just be pain ‘cause it’s a busted shoulder. 

Pains tend to be:

“heat” at the shoulder itself

“radiating” lines of tension and sharp pulling pains up across the collarbone towards the base of the neck, up the side of the neck, into the right side of my head (somehow?! when I went to get accupuncture, that point was suuuuper effective/painful), and down towards the meeting point of all the lat muscles in the mid back.

The neck pain is the worst, it sends shooting pains up the right side of my head, and definitely puts me “on edge”.

Typing is a fresh horror. I work an office job in tech and do a lot of typing in my day, so I had to figure out with our office wellness dude (who is such a darling and so sweet, and legit he and I schedule “meetings” that end up just us chatting about our weekend adventures) how to set up my station so I keep my arm internally rotated.

Side note: legit, this separated shoulder thing is a much bigger deal than I think I want it to be. I’m scared of it, really. I don’t want to lose the full function of my right arm - I need to fight with it, plus I need to still be able to “Simba raise” my cat into the air on sunny mornings.

He was telling me I should look into getting a sling so it’s supported while I’m just sitting/not using it. I’m ok without one at work cause I can set up my station so my elbow is supported and I can keep my arm internally rotated. But like, this guy doesn’t make a big deal out of nothing - if he’s advising me to get a sling, I really should consider it... he’s a trained kinesiologist and former physiotherapist, like, he knows what he’s talking about. XD

Headache onset by 11:25 AM. Shit, I wish I took my CBD oil to work. 

It’s definitely a constant presence in my mind - it makes working harder to a degree because a part of my mind is just always firing. But at the same time, work is also better because I have a reason to kind of fully invest myself mentally into work - the pain also sort of drives it. But it’s exhausting and unsustainable. 

Fictional Whump Thoughts From This:

Again, this is me dramatizing my thoughts. I don’t actually think exactly like this - there are parts that are true, but most of it is just me using my experience as a whump jumping point.

“Ah! Fuck... Dammit.” (in response to trying to do a movement drill on Saturday but realizing even just pulling back my left arm with power makes my right shoulder hurt)

“No no, I’m good, it’s okay. It’s just that it hurts a bit and I can’t lift heavy things, but I can still do a lot - it’s okay.”

“Hey, uh, could, um, could I get help out to the car with this?” (sheepishly asked at the grocery store for four measly bags - I ended up just carrying the light stuff on the right side and taking forever because it took too long and I was too embarrassed to wait for help. I’m otherwise able, so I shouldn’t use resources, right?)

“Oh, no, it’s fine - it’s a small price to pay, really. I felt super badass.” (Truth, but some people don’t get it)

[This is less fictional more real, but let’s say it’s dramatized a bit]: I’m really glad this happened to me and not one of my students. I’ve trained for this. And I signed up to do the board breaking knowing it would be harder, more risky and I would certainly be injured. If nothing else, I anticipated bloodied knuckles (I still have the scars from last year’s parade). This would have seriously injured a younger, less experienced student of mine - and would have had lasting mental consequences. Especially done in a public setting like a parade. A lot of people think the boards we break are fake or styrofoam. McDojos might do that, but my club has a history of hard, traditional-style training. Our boards are half inch pine. They’re easier to break, but they still hurt.

“fuck, this is hard without painkillers... this without painkillers or weed?... ugh, my day is gonna be way harder than it should be.”

[In response to my boyfriend’s question of ‘what can I do to make it better?’]: “Naw, I’m good, it’s just me complaining. Don’t mind me, it’s fine. Just complaining about it makes it easier to deal with the pain.”

There’s a definite sense of irritation that I can’t do my usual activities to reduce tension in my neck. I can’t shake my head quickly, my neck mobility is limited, I’m getting tension pains in my left trap now, great.

When I’m in consistent, low-level pain, I often forget to breathe. When deep breathing pulls on the muscles in the shoulder due to how all the torso muscles connect, it makes it even worse.

Okay, legit tho, I’m starting to feel bummed out. So I’mma go throw myself into work.

Again, this is something I did to myself. A lot of my online friends don’t get why I’m so dedicated to this. But I’ve noticed martial artists all react to my injuries with the same reaction I have - sympathetic, but ultimately we’re a bunch of testosterone-ridden fools who like to brag about battle scars. And then ask for heat packs or back rubs ‘cause we’re bunches of teddy bears when we’re not fighting each other.

Anyways, legit this could probably turn into a series for me. I tend to be the whumpee or the caretaker in a lot of scenarios. 

Is this something y’all are good with? Would you prefer this be formatted differently? Anything else you want to know? Otherwise I’mma keep doin’ it just like this.

[kpopescapes-blog]

HOME

You made your way to the kitchen and immediately opened the refrigerator to see what they have. You saw more than what you expected; they had many kinds of fruits and vegetables. All the condiments and seasonings were also there. 'Of course, SM would be at this level.' You thought. You grabbed some ingredients and decided to cook something that you hope would fit the taste of the dreamies. You kept calling them 'dreamies' in your head since it sounds so cute, and they are cute.

When you were done, you started to set up the table. You brought out the side dishes (which you thought is from their parents) and all the utensils that they need. You prepared everything for six people, including your uncle. However, when you were almost done, you heard the gate open once again. The dreamies who were in their rooms also went out, their faces showing the same confusion as yours. When the door opened, it was Haechan and Mark.

"Why are you here?" Jeno asked.

"We just arrived and you're already throwing us out? I'm pretty hurt, Jeno-yah." Haechan said with a mock pain, clutching his heart and acting as if he was shot.

"The 127 hyungs had another schedule and manager-hyung (in 127) had to go with them. They told us to stay here for the night since we have our own rooms here, anyway. Anyway, do you have food? Haechan and I haven't eaten since lunch time." Mark explained and made his way to his room, carrying a backpack and wearing a cap.

"We should play a game tonight then!" Chenle said cheerfully then laughed with his signature dolphin laugh. The others agreed but said that they would play after eating.

All that while, you already added 2 plates and more utensils. Thankfully, you were able to cook food that's enough for all of them. Your uncle went to you and asked you if you were okay. You just nodded and said that the food is ready. Your uncle called the dreamies and within a few seconds, all of them were already sitting, including Mark and Haechan. All of them were already barefaced and you were in awe with how beautiful they looked.

"Oh! Manager-hyung, is she y/n? The one you talked about earlier?" Haechan asked when he finally saw you.

"Ah, yes. I'm y/n." You answered instead and made a small bow to Haechan.

"You made all of these?" Mark asked. You said yes and honestly, you were kind of nervous. You never cooked for people who were not your family members so you were hoping that they would like it.

"I'll leave you for a while kids. I have to talk to someone. It won't take long so just eat and get some rest. Chenle said you would play but I'm pretty sure that you are tired, so don't play anything that requires too much energy. And behave, okay?" Your uncle announced just before everyone started to eat. After that, he was out of sight.

"Wow y/n, this is really good!" Mark exclaimed and everyone agreed. You just muttered a quiet 'thank you', not knowing why you were being so shy.

You slowly started to realize that it was just you and the dreamies inside the house and somehow, that made you nervous. You excused yourself silently and removed your apron. You were supposed to leave the dining area to go to your room but Mark called you.

"Are you not going to join us?" He asked as he took another spoonful of rice. You smiled at how cute he looked, remembering how the younger ones always said that Mark looks cute whatever he does.

"No, I'm good. I'm still full, anyway. Plus, I made that for you guys so it's fine." You said politely. He just nodded and continued eating. You noted how quiet they could be when they are eating. 'They must really be hungry.' You thought to yourself and went to your room.

You started fixing your things; putting all your things in the right place. When you were done, you sat on your bed. This is totally not how you imagined your first day in Seoul would be. Sure, it looked so easy up to this point but you started to wonder if it will be as easy in a few days or weeks. You got your phone and sent a message to your mom, saying that everything was going well. You did not mention about living with the dreamies. You promised you would not tell a single soul. And knowing your mom, she would be in total panic if she knew what happened to you; you just turned 18 anyway so she still thinks of you as a little girl.

You looked at the clock and saw that 30 minutes had already passed. You thought that by now, the dreamies would be done eating. You went out of your room, ready to wash the dishes. As you thought, the dreamies were already in the living room, ready to play whatever game they thought of and the dining table was already clear. As you headed to the kitchen, you heard the dishes clanking, then you saw Mark wearing gloves and starting to wash the dishes. You quickly went to him and stopped him.

"Let me do that. You better play with the dreamies then get some rest." You said as you lightly pulled his arm to stop him. He looked at your hand and when you realized that you were touching him, you pulled your hand right away and apologized quietly.

"No, it's fine. We always play rock-paper-scissors after eating to see who will do the dishes. Apparently, I lost so here I am." He explained.

"No, no, no. It's my job now, so you don't have to worry about that. Please, it's the only thing I can do to not feel burdened that I'm living here." You pleaded.

"Well, if you insist." Mark said then removed the rubber gloves. He also washed his hands and dried them off.

You got the rubber gloves then wore it. You started to organize the dishes to make sure that nothing would fall or break. You got the sponge then started to do your thing. You could hear the dreamies laughing and you smiled unconsciously, knowing that they really have good relationship. Then you noticed that Mark still has not left the kitchen, he was just leaning on the wall sideways, looking at you.

"Is there any problem? Trust me, I'm good at house chores so you have nothing to worry about. Go ahead and play with the kids." You said with a little laugh.

"'Kids'?" He asked. "Manager-hyung said that you came here to pursue your dreams. What dream is that? And you're just 18, right? You're younger than me. That's a pretty scary thing if it was me, moving to a different country without my parents right at the moment I turn 18." He said without a stop. He was talking to you in english, which you were thankful for because you could explain things to him in a clearer way.

"Well, yeah. It was pretty scary but just like my mom, I always loved adventures. And yes, I just turned 18 this year, this month actually. Going to Korea is one of the things that I really wanted to do so I've been learning Korean on my own for a few years now. Although I'm still not good at it, as you can see." You said, taking glances at him but still concentrating on the dishes. His eyes were on you the whole time, which made you blush. He didn't seem to mind though, so you thought that this was normal to him since he spent some time in Canada.

"Well," he started walking towards you and you panicked a little. He reached for a cup and started to fill it with drinking water. "....that's really brave of you. And don't worry, the kids are nice. If it makes you feel more comfortable, you could call me 'oppa' since I'm the only person you could call that way in this house." He said with a wink.

"Thanks. But I still need a few days to be able to call you that way." You said with a laugh. "But really, thank you for talking to me." Both of you didn’t realize that you were staring and smiling at each other. You, stopping with the dishes for a while and him, somehow forgetting about the cup of water he was holding.

Before everything got awkward, "Mark-hyung!" Chenle shouted from the living room. You broke your eye contact and laughed a little. You gave Mark an assuring smile, saying that you're okay with staying there.

"Don't hurt yourself." He said and gave you a pat on your back then left the kitchen. And you had to remind yourself how to breathe.

So it has started. You choosing the way your story would go. And yay! Mark’s Part 3 is done. I’ll try to update as much as I can before I fall asleep, it’s currently 9:55 in the evening here but don’t worry, I’ll update as fast as I can.

I really see Mark as someone who is approachable. He would be the person who would talk to you whenever he can. He may seem like a shy person when you see him, but I feel like he is actually a very warm person.

Hope you like it! i feel like this is not enough TT

Previous: Part 2

Next: Part 4

[optomstudies]

Hi :) I'm considering doing optom at unsw next year and I was wondering how the job prospects are currently? I've heard that it'll be a saturated job market in the next few years so I'm not if its a worthwhile investment, as I'm from WA and although I'm genuinely interested, a really big factor is the $ ahaha. Also I was wondering what the community life at the uni, since I'm a bit worried I wont make any friends lmaoo? Also how difficult is the workload as compared to year 12? Thanks so much

Job Market re: Australia

Hey! Keep in mind, this is what info I’ve been hearing from colleagues as well as some optometrists who are hiring. If you’re from WA, then I would say that you don’t have to worry about saturated job markets if you’re going to return to your home state after graduating. I’ve heard you can get $100K starting salary even relatively close to the city. Melbourne and Sydney though are probably closer to hitting saturation, but they’re capping university take ins next year, so again it could be a completely different ballgame by the time you get out in Sydney and Melbourne. WA though is totally safe, I believe they’re underserviced because there are no optometry schools there. And of course, anywhere that is regional or rural, regardless of state is underserviced, so if you’re cool with moving out to learn a bit more about using your therapeutic skills and ocular disease, then there should be absolutely no problem. Job prospects are only a bit riskier staying with Syd/Melb metro. 

Student Life re: UNSW

Pretty friendly on the whole, I believe that because UNSW is one of the newer universities, even the aura here is a bit more cosmopolitan. We definitely have many international students, and also there are a lot of 1st years who are super bubbly because 1) it’s a new experience and they’re excited and 2) it’s a new environment and they’re apprehensive about making friends. So literally everyone feels the same way and as long as you make a little effort to get to know someone, it’ll be more than reciprocated. Just large cliques of high school friends may be trickier to break, because it’s difficult to broach friendship with someone who’s already 6 years deep in friendship with others and still not interested in making new friends. 

Also, see these posts that I’ve written about making friends because I keep getting questions about it somehow LOL

Making Conversation - a guide for introverts!

Making Friends

Part 4 Extra-Curriculars

Part 6 Social Life

High School vs. University Workload

As a precursor, no matter what the degree, studying anything at a tertiary level is going to be a challenge, not necessarily difficult. Particular degrees might be easy/hard to particular people, etc. If you’d like to know more about university I have a whole series on it. 

Read this for a summary: Transitioning from High School to University

Part 0 Choosing a Degree

Part 1 Administration

Part 2 Getting to Class - pros and cons of attending class, when you should choose not to attend, laptop and notebook recommendations, advice about choosing a backpack and other essential equipment.

> Laptop Considerations and Recommendations

Part 3 Studying

Part 4 Extra-Curriculars

Part 5 Exams

Part 6 Social Life

Part 7 Part Time Work

Part 8 Four Secrets The Uni Tells You

Part 9 Best Study Spots On Campus

Part 10 Saving Money 1 - Food, Transport, Entertainment

Part 10 Saving Money 2 - Textbooks, Tax, Scholarships

Part 11 Adapting to Uni Study popular!!

Part 12 How to Study From Textbooks in Uni

Part 13 Dealing with Lazy Group Members

But granted, I’m going to say that optometry is hard. Personally I would say, and I’ve also had someone describe to me, that it’s like doing 2 HSC exams every year because of the amount of info that you have to cram into 13 weeks of a semester. I’ve had a guest lecturer who was an ophthalmologist who originally graduated as an optometrist, worked for a while and then did the GAMSAT and post-grad medicine and he told us that optometry was more difficult than the generalist medical degree. I’ve also heard from numerous other people in the field, relatives, and also heard about families with children studying both optometry and medicine saying that optom undergrad is more difficult. This is most likely because the 5 year degree is meant to give you complete training, compared with medicine where you have a 6-7 year undergrad followed by the 3 year hospital training before another 5 years of specialisation. 

Be prepared for hard work and long hours. I said this in a previous ask but at the end of the day, the job that you do as an optometrist requires you to keep an eye out for sight-threatening and life-threatening conditions, as well as to deal with common eye problems day to day, so you need to learn a lot about anatomy and physiology, anatomy of the eye/head/brain and the innervation/blood supply, as well as the diseases that can arise, and how to manage and treat them. Refraction and getting an actual prescription is a skill that needs a lot of practice and refinement too. 

See these asks for more details about optometry:

Optometry Prerequisites and Difficulty (yes someone’s asked before :)

Why I Chose Optometry and Comparisons to Other Health Sciences

Entry Requirements at UNSW

Format of the Degree and 1st Year Contact Hours

+ general tag for all optometry related asks

Hope that helps! ^_^

[elosnotebook]

PENETRATORS SQUAD IMAGINE (pt 8)

Imagine being the first and only girl in the Penetrator Russ bus. Author’s note: GUESS WHO! HAHAHA so i know y’all have been hella patient with me and this fucking story, so i decided to take my saturday to try to write about it. i have read that like 648 times and every time i found a new error and i am pretty sure that if i read it again i’ll find more so please just ignore them and enjoy the part 8. WARNING THERE’S SMUT AND FLUFF and i have NEVER written about smut before, i felt like i was sinning the whole fucking time so give me a break, i’ll get better with time. also don’t ask me about part 9 because it’ll take time since i’ll be able to focus on my stories only in december. but honesly, you guys are the best and thanks for understand. love y’all (btw feedback is great so i can be sure you guys don’t hate me hahahah)

Part 1. Part 7.

Part 9.

Masterlist ❁

-

I couldn’t stop looking myself at the mirror. I knew how confident I must look for everyone but honestly? There was those days where I just... Wasn’t. I just had left the shower when Chris called me saying he wanted to talk. Our first day together in school wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. At all.

-

It can’t be this hard.

I remember telling Chris in the shower, two days ago. I should’ve known by now that nothing is actually easy when that boy is involved, especially hiding something so big as a - honestly, I had no idea how to call whatever Chris and I were.

It was Monday afternoon, and Chris managed to almost ruin everything twice. I knew him way too well to be assure that every time he got nervous about something, he became completely stupid about it.

After the amazing breakfast he made me on Saturday, I went home to process everything that was happening, and by these days, I still can’t tell what the hell happened. We texted the whole Sunday, creating plans to escape the classes - his idea -, and thinking about spots that would fit for a hot and discreet make out sessions on breaks - this one was totally me.

So, after a whole day of plans to get this right, I wouldn’t expect to be so hard for him to actually do it, what he proved me wrong on Monday morning while having breakfast with our Russ crew.

I was sitting between Julian and Henrik, laughing about some crazy shit they did on Chris’ party. All the boys were being extremely and out of normal polite and soon I realized it was because of the Theo situation. They didn’t bring it up but all it took was a look around to see how dying they were to know my side of the story. William told me Theo had to study for his upcoming tests but both of us knew it was an excuse for him not to face me.

I lost the track of my thoughts when my secret sat in front of us. His alarm didn’t ring and by his face I could see how annoyed he was because of it.

“I thought I was late,” he sighed. I pressed my lips into a thin line as a way to repress a smile. His hair was messier than usual and his shirt was inside out.

“Schistad, you look like shit.” Julian stated, analyzing the boy in front of him.

“And yet, he is still looking better than you. How is that possible?” I joked, earning a nasty glance from Julian.

“Thanks, babe.” Chris said, laying his head on the table.

My reaction was fast. I cringed to the nickname, not only because it was being told in front of other Penetrators but also because I couldn’t understand how fast he decided to call me that. Plus, I wasn’t a ‘babe’ kind of girl. Definitely not.

Julian and Henrik was staring at me with their brows knitted. I had every kind of nickname since I got in the bus. They always loved to make fun of the boys I hooked up with and they basically named me after a particular boy every week. But they never go to the cute level, when they want to be fluffy, the most they have ever done is to call me Cap. Babe, princess, sweetheart was completely out of the table, and honestly I couldn’t care less.

“Ew. Please, don’t babe me.” I told him, trying to sound the most disgusted I could. Frankly, it wasn’t hard at all.

Chris sat straight quickly, as a suddenly realization of what he did. He was the opposite of discreet, I thought, while fighting against the urge to slap him. Sadly, I couldn’t hold a deep sigh.

“Sorry, it’s just…” he paused. Oh my God, he was so bad at improvising, I swear. “My alarm didn’t work. I’m tired.”

I looked away from him, as I was searching for someone in the crowd of students. Honestly, I was just finding my strength not to scream at him.

“Fine.” Julian said, while standing up. “I need to go to the library, I’ll see you guys later.” He leaned in to kiss my cheeks. “Bye babe.” He left.

“Oh no, you little piece of shit, you didn’t-” I turned to yell at him, but it was too late. He was nowhere to be seen.

I turned back to Chris, giving him a distasteful look. He raised his both hands in the air and mouthed a ‘I am sorry’. There was still boys in the table, so I let the subject go for now.

“I need to go to my locker. I’ll meet you in class.” I told Chris.

“I can go with you.” He rushed to grab all his things, but he forgot to zip his bag, which cause everything to fall on the ground.

I turned around the table and kissed his forehead.

“I’ll meet you in class.” I repeated, earning a not satisfied groan from him.

I blew a kiss for the rest of the table, but the boys wasn’t paying attention at me. There was a new girl in the school and they couldn’t stop arguing about who she would choose of them.

I walked straight for my locker, stopping in front of it. Even thought I put my password three times, it didn’t open. I was just giving up when the new girl came and stood by my side.

She was definitely an eyecandy, I couldn’t deny it. Her skin was like cinnamon and it also was glowing. I tried to lock my eyes into hers so I wouldn’t stare at her glorious curves.

“Can I help you?” I asked her, sounding way more polite than I normally would.

“Hi, my name is Julie. I’m new here,” she smiled, while resting her body to the lockers. She started to twist her hair on her fingers, a gesture I knew way too well, since I’m used to do it everytime I was preparing myself to make a move on someone, but that girl wasn’t there to flirt with me… Or was she?

“Welcome Julie. How these people are treating you so far?” I turned again to my locker, trying to open it one more time. Luckily, it opened.

“Very well. I heard everything about you and the Penetrators.”

“I don’t think so,” I smiled at her. “It’d take a lot more than a morning to hear everything about us.”

“So, why don’t you tell me over a coffee?” Her confidence was killing me. Of course I would have this kind of temptation on my first day as a monogamist.

“She doesn’t have time for it.” A voice behind me said. I chewed inside my mouth to keep me from turning and screaming at its owner.

I felt Chris’ hand on my waist, which cause the girl to raise her perfectly done eyebrows.

“Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t know you…” she hesitated. “You were off the market.”

I had absolutely no idea about what to answer, and my mind was having a lot of trouble to find something to say since it was filled with curses for Christoffer.

“I’m sorry.” The words seemed to be running from me. “He is just a possessive best friend.”

“So, can we have that coffee?” She asked again.

I sighed. “Maybe another time, I am just focusing on school these days. Sorry.”

I did everything in my power not to look at Chris. Knowing him as good as I did, he was probably thinking how fun this situation was.

“Okay.” Julie started to turn red, what made me feel a little bad about myself. I didn’t want to embarrass the girl. I would totally go out with her if it wasn’t for the jackass next to me. “See you around.”

I smiled at her and watched her go away. Chris’ cold fingers were playing with my shirt behind me. I wanted to slap him.

“Seriously, Chris. We literally talked about it two days ago. How can you possibly be on the full boyfriend mode?”

I had to admit I was a little mad, and scared. The only relationship I had was with William so truth being told, my experiences were based on a 13 years-old relationship that went wrong. Chris have dated more girls that I can count but he never lasted with none of them for more than three months. We both sucked at this.

The smirk on his face showed me he focused on the wrong part. “Boyfriend, huh?”

“Christoffer, I am serious!”

At least, he had the decency to look embarrassed.

“Sorry,” he said, still playing with my shirt. “I don’t know how to act around you anymore.”

“Chris.” I said, placing two fingers under his chin so he would face me. I had completely notion that there was a lot of people around, but they were all used to me and Chris looking like a couple. “It’s still us. The only difference is that now, we have a little big secret.”

He took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.”

I was just too tired to argue about it, so I decided to let it go. 

“I need to go to class. See you later.” I stated, kissing his cheeks and leaving in a hurry.

-

Now, in front of that giant mirror, I’ve never felt so small. It wasn’t because of Chris, or the fact he doesn’t know how to act around me anymore. But somehow, big changes were happening and I was so scared of them.

I try to focus on myself on the reflection. I had a towel wrapped on my body, but it was like my eyes were a x ray machine, looking for every single little thing I always hated on me. It’s ridiculous how I feel really bad when I saw a girl hating on herself but I don’t know how to do it either. How hypocritical of me.

I didn’t know how much time has passed. I was too busy loathing myself until I jumped when a voice came out of nowhere behind me.

“Don’t.”

I turned to see Chris next to the door. 

“Chris!”

“Your mom let me in.” He justified himself.

I took a deep breath and turn myself to the mirror again, trying to put on my confident mask, but something on the reflection of his face told me he wasn’t buying it.

“Cap...” He hugged me behind, strongly. I leaned into his touch. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“Doing what?” My voice sounded weak, and I hated the fact he was seeing this part of me.

“You were looking at the mirror with such hatred eyes, and I can’t understand how.” He kissed my neck. 

When he realized I wasn’t going to say anything, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was scared I would start crying as soon as I opened my mouth, he continued.

“You’re by far the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

“When we met, I wore braces.” I heard myself saying.

His laugh filled the room, and I felt my body relaxing a little bit.

“Still, only you could look that good wearing braces.” He touched my hand, which was holding the towel. “Drop it.” He whispered.

I closed my eyes and did what he said. It didn’t take much until I felt his fingertips dancing on my naked skin. It was like he wanted to touch every single piece of my body. His hands stopped on my waist.

“You are like a masterpiece.” He said, while giving me gently light kisses on my shoulders.

He slowy turned me to face him. 

“Open your eyes, Cap.” He mumbled.

I did. He was staring at me deeply. There was so much love in his eyes that I started to feel the tears forming. He quickly wiped them away. 

“I don’t need to say the number of girls I have made out with, you know it pretty well. What you don’t know, is that I have never, and by never I mean, NEVER, found one remotely amazing as you are. You can make my darkest days go away just by the fact you are pure light, Cap.” 

He paused so he could breathe, “and your body?” His hands squeezed my waist harder. “This body is just a wonderful shell for your incredible soul. You are not perfect, but nobody is. I am not, and you know it. So accepting your flaws doesn’t make you weak, Cap, makes you human. It can take some time so you can accept them, but I’ll be here through the whole way, to make you love them, as much as I do.” He was looking tenderly into my eyes now, and I couldn’t remember how to breathe.

It hit me. It hit me like a train and I felt like I could break down at any moment. The only response to that was kissing him the most passionate that I could. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso while he pulled me the closer that he could.

He walked me to the bed before placing myself down. He tugged off his shirt, reavealing his toned body before tossing it to the side carelessly. His fingers brushed against my bare thights, leaving an eletrifying lingering on my skin. His touches always set me on fire... Then, he stopped.

I searched for his eyes, looking for an answer.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

I grabbed the belt of his pants and took it off, throwing it aside, with a grin on my face. I kissed his stomach and found my way to his mouth, placing light kisses.  Our eyes met and our heated moment suddenly turned tender, the tension I was feeling was already slowly leaving my body.  

“I’ve never wanted someone so bad as I want you, right now.” As I said the words, I realized they were one hundred percent true.

He gave in. Chris didn’t waste any time and he ducked his head down to suck my nipples, his fingers disappearing into my hair. Pressing my lips together, I managed to strangle a loud moan before it slipped out. I rested my palms on his broad chest, before letting them slip down his chest to the hem of black skinny jeans. He bit me harder, and this time, a moan came out of my throat, and suddenly my boyfriend became whiter than he already was.

“Your mom!” He whispered, in completely despair and suddenly realization. 

“Don’t worry, I already told you, I am a quiet person.” I stated, pulling him closer again, without success.

“You literally just moaned loud.” He stated.

“It won’t happen again.” I kissed my pinky as I was making him a promise, but he wasn’t convinced.

Chris desperately ran his fingers through his steamy hair, gasping for air but failing at the attempt. “What if she opens the door?”

“Are you serious? Have you never had sex with a girl with her parents home?”

He rolled his eyes, a habit he had copied from me. “Of course I did, but I have never had sex with a girl I actually want to be together with her parents downstairs.”

I smiled. “Are you afraid of what my mom would say if she finds out that we are together together?

“I guess it depends of how she will find out. Her daughter screaming wouldn’t be a great way to do this.”

I looked at the ceiling.

“I told you I’m a quiet person.”

“You wouldn’t be with me.”

“Well, we don’t know about that. You know how we can find out? Doing it.”

“Cap...” He dropped himself on my bed, copying my position of stare at the ceilling.

I got up, and locked the door. Before he could protest about it, I sat on his lap, grinding against the thin material of his underwear. My hand trailed down from his stomach to his croach. Slowly, I unbutton his jeans and let them slip down  the fabric beneath my fingers, and tossed them out.

“Let’s see how quiet you can be, Christoffer Schistad.”

“Cap..”

I took his length on my hand, and he stopped talking. He was concentrate as much as he could, but something was telling me it wouldn’t last so long. 

I softly ran my warm and wet tongue over the head of his dick and he gasped. I started to lick it, while pumping his shaft along with it. He groaned and slid his finger through my hair. His mouth was gaping wide open and his bottom lip trembling enough for me to notice, it was red of how hard he was bitting it.

I placed a hand on his thigh to keep him steady, my nails going roughly into his skin to relive some of my sexual frustration, so I wouldn’t explode right this second, right before I wrapped my lips around the head and started to suck it. He cursed lowered as I began to put him more in my mouth. 

I pulled him out of my mouth, earning an sigh from him. Before he said anything, I traced his dick with my tongue from the bottom of his shaft to the top, tracing all of his veins. His hands grabbed the sheets so hard and they ended up turning red. 

After a few minutes of a mixture of sucking and pumping, I slid more of him inside of my mouth. I felt the tip touch the back of my throat. 

“Fuck.” He let escape. “Cap, I’m going to...”

I felt his warm liquid inside my mouth. I quickly swallowed it, what made him even more chocked. His breath was uneven, and I had never been so satisfied in my life.

“I...” He started, but he clearly couldn’t focus at anything. 

I leaned in to kiss him. My hands slipped behind his neck and disappeared into his thick, messy hair so I could push his welcoming lips closer to mine. “You’re welcome.”

“It’s your ti-”

“No.” I interrupted him. “Not today. For now, I will just appreciate the fact that I made you melt inside my mouth.”

“I’ll make it up to you at some point.” He said, pulling me closer. There was a giant grin on his face, and I couldn’t help but smile either. 

I rest my head on his chest, and licked my lips, cleaning the remains of him off my face. “Oh sweetie, I’m counting on it.” I said, giggling.

After a few minutes of silence, I got up to find anything to dress. My pink Penetrator hoodie was the first thing I laid my eyes on and I quickly put it on. Chris’ chest was moving fast, although his eyes were shut. His entire body was shaking and his lips quivering more than I had ever seen them do before.

“Chris?” I muttered to make sure he wasn’t sleeping already.

“Hm?” Almost.

“I’m sorry about my confidence issues.” I whispered, while picking up his underwear and throwing it at him.

He put it on with his eyes closed, and I couldn’t hold a smile, thinking of how much practice he must have. “It’s ok, Cap. You can hand all your issues to me, and I’ll continue to love you as usual.”

My heart went from 200 to 0 real quickly when I realized he said the “L” word. He didn’t seem to notice it, or if he did, he was doing an excellent job to keep his calm. His body tensed up a bit, so I guess he was trying to hide it. Little does he know I was trying to do the same. 

Oh. My. God. Christoffer Schistad loves me.

[princessconsuelapark]

Secrets, Tears and What-ifs - Part 29

Author: Blake (justrainythings) Pairing: Ant McPartlin/Declan Donnelly Word count: 5 994 words Summary: After the Sun outing them and their secret 20-year affair, they have to deal with paparazzi, girlfriends, wives, family and... their feelings for each other. Angst. Fighting. Serious stuff. Yay. :) Part 1 & Part 2 & Part 3 & Part 4 & Part 5 & Part 6 & Part 7 & Part 8 & Part 9 & Part 10 & Part 11 & Part 12 & Part 13 & Part 14 & Part 15 & Part 16 & Part 17 & Part 18 & Part 19 & Part 20 & Part 21 & Part 22 & Part 23 & Part 24 & Part 25 & Part 26 & Part 27 & Part 28

// Chapter on AO3 - er, well... hello, I guess? let's get straight to the point and do this in numbered bulletpoints yay 1. I'm sorry for being shit at updating, but hey, here's a new chapter, how about that?

2. This is my first chance at properly expressing this, so here it is: I'M SO FUCKING INCREDIBLY PROUD OF ANTHONY DAVID MCPARTLIN AND I LOVE AND SUPPORT HIM TO THE MOON AND BACK UNTIL MY DYING DAY AND BEYOND <3 <3

3. This chapter would have never been written if Abiee (@abieeoliver21​) hadn't asked me to include a certain someone - I know it was 8 million years ago, I’m not even sure you’re still reading it, but this is for you, love :)

4. No plot in this chapter, really - just some random (and mostly surface-value) soul-searching stuff and no one really gets to the bottom of anything. Bit of foreshadowing and mentions of stuff to come though haha.

5. I'm so so so SO incredibly thankful to everyone who's still here, who's still reading this, who's still interested, who still makes an effort to comment. Honestly, honestly, cross my heart. Every single person who's waited a minute for this chapter, a couple months, or a few years (god, I'm shit at this). I love you all so much, thank you a million for all your amazingess <3 <3 (also: usual warning for the usual swearing)  //

so because the last update was hundreds of years ago (please don't hate me), it's re-cap time !!

Ant and Dec have been having a secret affair for 20 years, but suddenly they are outed to the whole world, ouch. (To be fair, this is the premise of the fic, so I guess, you all remember that much at least. I mean, I hope so. I know it's been a year, but like... The summary is right there when you click on the bloody thing, yeah? Fuck, it's been a year. Please please don't hate me.)

They fight a lot about stuff - which they never do (scary!) -, while trying to navigate the minefield their personal and professional life has become. It turns out, Dec was quite upset about Ant marrying Lisa, thinking that Ant had given up on him, while Ant was never really conscious of the fact that he was actually in love with Dec.

Now though, Ant had broken up with Lisa, while Dec never really saw the need to do so with Ali (which, let's admit, was not the most eloquent way of handling this, but this fic is about Ant and Dec being in love, so we don't really give a shit about that), so they are both available, but terrified of what that means. Dec even had a couple of emotional, panic attack-like breakdowns (mainly in bathrooms? which is... weird, I guess?) that Ant is fairly concerned about. His family didn't take the news the best way possible. Especially his Mam.

They somehow got through Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and are currently half-way through Saturday, the day of their first live show of Saturday Night Takeaway. They are nervous, but as the show draws closer and closer, and more problems arise, they rely and depend more on each other than ever, defaulting back to their AntandDec-ness (and being very cute, if I might add).

Meanwhile a very old, but quite dramatically disgusting picture of them kissing surfaces suddenly and to push it out of circulation, Ali suggests to wander down to a nearby park and do a pap-walk, so they can provide less awful, and more lovey-dovey, kissing and hand-holding photos for the press. (Oh, and there's this homophobic little woman in the park who calls them out on kissing, but they handle it well, phew.) With that push, it's kind of decided for them and they more or less finally agree that they should be together and "properly date", if you will, although they are still quite shit at the whole having "The Conversation" thing. Ant admits to a few things that he wanted to come clear about (namely a sexual encounter of his with another man), Dec is not exactly sure how he feels about that (apart from unhealthily jealous and possessive).

Currently Ant is not really feeling on top of things, following a visit by Little Ant and a voicemail from his Mam. He mainly just wants Dec, who's left to get tea like ten minutes ago and to be fair, that's already way too much time to spend apart, so.

Dec is leaning on the bar counter in their studio's green room, waiting for their teas to brew, distractedly munching on a Jammie Dodger when she just wonders in. He tries to say something along the lines of 'oh shit', but he's mid-bite and he kind of chokes on a piece of biscuit and consequently starts coughing immediately. He tries to spit the soggy biscuit crumbs into a napkin in the most dignified way possible and she starts laughing at him heartily. And well, Dec really doesn’t appreciate that, despite knowing how ridiculous he must look. He is still concentrating pretty hard on, you know… not dying when she pulls him into a thorough hug.

It’s a long one and it feels like, she’s trying to tell him something with it, he’s just not quite sure what, but nevertheless it’s reassuring in a way that can only come from the familiarity of someone you’ve known a really long time.

'Cat,' Dec finally manages when they come out of the hug, wiping tears from his eyes, still coughing a bit, but breathing a lot more easily now. ‘Hey pet.’

‘You okay, love?’ she asks, tucking a blonde strand behind her ear, laughing again.

He nods and for a moment they just stare at each other in silence because of how impossible the whole thing feels – Cat is here (here in England - and in their green room, of all places!) and well, also, Dec almost just died in a Jammie Dogder-related accident. Maybe he could sue ITV. Where there’s a blame, there’s a claim, he thinks vaguely humorously.

Then Cat says, 'You completely forgot, I was coming, didn’t you.’

And… that, he did.

They set it up weeks and weeks ago – she texted him a couple times and she was coming back home to England for a bit anyway, so they were talking about going out for dinner, the three of them, after the live show, to do a bit of catching up.

But lately they've not really been on top of things, to say the least, and in the chaotic whirlwind of all kinds of pictures in tabloids and their messy fights, Dec’s been feeling like he can only focus on the task that’s directly ahead of him in order to avoid going absolutely crazy.

So, actually, no, he didn’t just forget about Cat coming; it seemed like, setting it up never even happened, or maybe in another lifetime, but definitely not only a few months ago.

Cat is still looking at him, so he simply just nods yes, because they’ve been friends for way too long to lie to her about something like that.

‘We did, I'm so sorry. There's just been some stuff going on and- I mean, it's great that you're here though-’

'It's great that you think that it's great that I'm here,’ Cat interrupts him quickly with a relieved smile. ‘Because I wasn't sure whether I should come or not after all this stuff. I mean, you guys invited me, but you know. All this is happening…’ here she makes a vague motion with her hand implying all this that’s currently happening, ‘But I just thought, you know, I don't come home all that often nowadays, so…'

'No, it's great, I'm honestly chuffed,’ Dec tells her and when he actually thinks about it, he comes to the conclusion that he’s not lying about this at all, not even a little bit; he’s glad that Cat is here. She represents something that’s constant, something that’s still normal in their life. ‘You look great, by the way,' he tells her, making her smile.

She really does. Dec has always kind of been half in love with her from the very first moment and it’s still like that. She’s really pretty – she’s always been, but she looks attractive in a more sophisticated way now –, Dec could die for her long blondish hair (although nowadays it’s more light brown, he notices), she also has a sort of delicate feminineness about her that he’s fascinated by, but at the same time he’s always loved her ever-present crude sense of humour and he knows, she’s always up for a laugh. She looks older than he remembers, but it suits her and – it’s a cliché, but she kind of grew into her face.

'Thanks, darling. I don’t look as great as Ashley Roberts though – I just ran into her outside and wow. Very American,’ she says the last bit like it’s a nasty piece of gossip and Dec loves her for that even more.

Dec laughs. 'Yeah, she is.’ Then he considers it, ‘You’re kinda very American too,' he adds with a playful smile.

‘Shut up,’ Cat says, dismissing him easily with a wave of her hand in a way that says, she’s very much used to this kind of banter. ‘You know what I mean though, she’s just… wow.’

‘She definitely is,’ Dec admits and to be fair, she’s totally Dec’s type. Still, if it ever came to it - if he was not fiercely in love with his best friend, that is -, he would choose Cat over Ashley any day.

'But last I heard, you were taken…' she says and horrifyingly, it sounds like a question, or at least something that Dec should elaborate on, and while the tone is mockingly mischievous, he can’t help but hear a fair amount of caution in it.

Cat doesn’t look sure if she has any business asking about this and Dec… Well, Dec has no idea what he thinks about that. He doesn’t have much experience with talking about relationship stuff and it’s definitely even harder when it comes to his relationship with Ant, because that’s never been something that was openly up for discussion. He has no idea where the lines are, what he feels comfortable sharing.

‘I… Sort of, yeah,’ he manages, and he can’t help, but feel that this uncertainty is kind of a setback, but to be fair, it has been an absolute roller-coaster of day and Dec doesn’t feel like putting much more energy into expressing his inner turmoil more adequately.

Cat raises an eyebrow. She looks hurt, like Dec just said something wrong, something slightly problematic. Dec has no clue why though, so he waits for her to elaborate.

'Come on, Declan, don't do this,’ Cat pleads, her voice strangely high-pitched. ‘I’ve known you for…'

'Oh. It's not- I’m not not telling you, Cat,’ he protests, understanding Cat’s reaction now. ‘It’s just, well, I’m not sure how it works at the minute.'

Cat raises a perfectly shaped, sceptical eyebrow at that. ‘What’s this then?’ she asks, shoving her phone into Dec’s hand and wow, that’s…

‘Weird,’ he says dazedly.

Dec thinks he really should get used to seeing pictures of him and Ant snogging in various locations, posted on the internet, but no, it still comes a shock seeing it so public, so sensationalised. It’s a bit different this time around though, because… Well, he knew about these pictures. He made a conscious (if not entirely free-willed) decision to participate in them; he agreed to do this. It’s the park ones, because of course it’s the park ones, and it feels silly now, but somehow he’s already almost forgotten about them; moved on, anxiously waiting for the next problem, the next catastrophe to survive and apprehensively, very unhealthily fixate on.

He scrolls through the article, flustered, a little bit feeling like he would be very grateful if there was a chair underneath him right now.

He ignores everything that’s written, he just concentrates on the pictures, and that’s already more than enough to deal with - he doesn’t need the shitty tabloid narration of their life on top of it all, thank you very much.

On the first picture they are in the queue for the burger stand, waiting for their food, and he’s looking up at Ant with a sweet, loving smile (‘That’s my favourite - it’s like a wedding picture, isn’t it,’ Cat offers with a concerning amount of enthusiasm, from where she’s plastered to Dec’s back now, looking over his shoulder to see the phone.) Dec thinks that the second one is okay, - it’s just them walking next to each other - up until he realises that they are holding hands on it and… okay. So that’s what they look like when they are holding hands. Interesting.

The next one is the first one to feature a kiss and the phone shakes in Dec’s hand for a second. Strangely, with this one, he’s not too concerned about how it looks (apparently it looks ‘very very cute’, according to Cat), but about the fact that they actually have a picture of their first truly free kiss. One for the grandchildren. Or… something like that.

The ones after that feature them on the bench, eating, kissing, then laughing, then kissing some more and oh, here’s the homophobic woman, shit.

Dec scrolls back up to the top though, because he honestly just can’t deal with that right now and… here he is again, smiling at Ant, looking like he’s happy, proud, carefree and very much in love.

‘Weird,’ he says again.

Cat laughs at him, not mockingly so; it sounds soft and bright. ‘When the whole country is talking about you having an affair with your best friend and you go to a park and start snogging him senseless, then there’s absolutely nothing weird about it ending up on the internet.’

‘No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just so weird to see it like that,’ Dec explains. ‘It was a publicity thing that we did,’ he adds at the end, mumbling distractedly, like a non-too-important disclaimer.

‘Yeah, because that looks just like a publicity thing that you did,’ Cat laughs.

Dec just leaves it at that, and he’s not sure why - maybe he’s just tired of explaining something he doesn’t understand himself, maybe he just doesn’t care that much anymore.

‘I’m sorry it came out- The whole thing, I mean… I’m sorry that it came out like that. It’s not fair. You deserved better,’ Cat says then, much more serious, and Dec looks up.

For a moment he doesn’t know what to say, because for the first time someone actually acknowledged this, someone expressed just how wrong this whole situation is, the fact that someone outed them against their will, poking into their personal life uninvited, (not to say that they are not at fault here, but cheating and lying, those are the crimes they are guilty of, and surely, surely the punishment-like attention for being in an affair that happens to be a gay one, while simultaneously being on television is not fair on any level) and it’s quite overwhelming to hear his own thoughts of injustice directly expressed to him.

In the end he just smiles at her gratefully, ‘Thanks.’

‘But you know. That’s just your fabulous showbiz life, isn’t it? Can’t go anywhere without being recognised, you poor souls. Fame, fortune, sex, money, scandals…! Maybe you should murder someone next. Ooh, or better: have a reality show!’ she teases him and Dec can’t help himself but hit her in the shoulder playfully.

‘Shut up.’

‘Ooor, maybe you should make a sex tape. That would sell well. Let me know if you wanted to. I know some people,’ she offers, mock-serious and looking at him with overly-scandalous eyes, but she can’t keep a straight face for long.

‘Oh, shut your face…’ Dec hits her again.

They laugh like they just said goodbye to each other yesterday, after a long morning of doing SM:TV, and it’s refreshing to be able to have fun with someone who’s not Ant. Maybe takes the pressure off their relationship a bit. Maybe Dec needs reminding sometimes that he’s capable of existence without Ant by his side every single minute of the day, so he can cherish the time that they do spend together even more.

It feels good and easy to be with Cat like that, but in a way it’s also nerve-wrecking, because of what Dec knows is coming next. They are at that point in the conversation. And indeed, although Cat is still smiling at him brightly, her voice turns sincere as she asks in a much quieter voice, 'You two okay?'

Dec sighs. He decides, he’s not so much uncomfortable talking about it, as he just doesn’t have the answers. Because the ‘you two okay’ question is way more complicated than it actually appears to be on the surface. Are they? Dec wants to think so, but he had just one too many panicky breakdowns in various bathrooms over the last couple of days to be able to say that they are with complete certainty. So many things have gone wrong today already and it’s not even show time.

'Yeah,’ he says, but his voice doesn’t come out right. He clears his throat. ‘Getting there,' is what he eventually manages, because he doesn’t want to sound bitter, he doesn’t want to appear as morbidly fed up as he actually feels.

Cat however is not the type of person who is satisfied with that kind of answer, and actually, wow, how could Dec even think that she was going to just let it go that easily? They really do need to meet up more often.

‘So… hang on, you are in a relationship then?' she presses, somehow making it sound like it’s the least intrusive question ever.

Dec still doesn’t have the answers however, no matter how relentless or good at this Cat is, so he goes for something light-hearted. 'Well, everyone seems to think so,' he says dismissively, not looking her in the eye.

'What kind of answer is that?' she asks with furrowed eyebrows, but also like she’s worried that she’s gone just a bit too far this time.

Dec sighs, more just frustrated with himself than anything anything else, really. 'The I don't know kind. It's just… this whole talking about things is pretty new to me, sorry. I mean…’ he trails off. ‘It's like no one's surprised. Like people were expecting it,’ it almost explodes out of him, the words coming quick and loud; this has been bothering him for a while now. ‘Like everyone fucking secretly knew about it like…!’

There is a moment of silence and Cat is looking at him with this very very patient expression on her face, like she’s waiting for him to realise something, like she wants him to figure it out on his own.

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Dec curses when he finally understands. ‘I give up,’ he says, looking up at the ceiling. ‘I fucking give up. Why is it even such a big deal if every person on this bloody planet knew about it, huh? Why? If this is not even new information to anyone, why does it still make the front page of every shitty tabloid in this stupid country like? Aren’t people more interested in… I don’t know, Posh and Becks, or something?!’

Cat laughs at him, but she’s rubbing at his shoulder comfortingly. She leans over the counter then, rummaging for a bit, then turning back towards Dec with a plastic teaspoon.

‘Well, not everyone knew about it,’ she says consolingly, fishing out the teabags from both of the teas that Dec has already completely forgotten about. She dumps them unceremoniously on top a single napkin, drenching the whole counter immediately and looking like she couldn’t care less. She puts down the spoon and looks into Dec’s face with a part-apologetic, part-pleading expression. ‘But, I mean - and I’m only speaking for myself here -, if you think about it, you were never really careful about it when it was just the three of us, so I just assumed you thought that I knew, and I mean, it wasn't exactly a big deal, so…'

Dec lets out a disbelieving little laugh. 'Ant was with Lisa though. I was dating Clare-'

Cat holds up a hand, before he could go any further than that. ‘I’m not saying I understood exactly what was going on, Dec, but you know... It’s the two of you. It’s just your thing,’ she explains easily.

‘Our thing,’ Dec repeats incredulously.

‘Well, yeah,’ she grins at him bright and happy, stunning Dec into silence for a moment.

‘I feel like I have to go now and re-evaluate my life,’ he deadpans finally and Cat laughs warmly.

‘Better now than never,’ she says. Cheeky. ‘Where’s your loved up other half, then?’

‘Dressing room,’ Dec replies, only bothering to roll his eyes at that, and well, okay, maybe he understands why so many people have always taken this for granted - they never exactly discouraged the notion that there was something between them deeper than friendship. But it never really bothered him, he was never really iffy about assumptions like that. If that’s even possible, he was always sort of clear on where he stood: pretty much very into blonde girls, but kind of also very much happily attached to Ant in every way possible. A bit of teasing about their closeness was always welcome, met with a slightly embarrassed, but mostly proudly possessive smile or a funnier counter-joke. It never even occurred to either of them to get prissy about it, especially because most of it was… well, true.

‘We still have a bit of time, I think, if you wanna come, see him before the show?’ he suggests, looking at his watch. He grabs both teas when Cat nods and starts making his way out of the green room with her close behind.

‘Oh yeah, how’s the show going?’ Cat asks as they walk down a corridor, seemingly having realised that for now, she’s not going to get anything more specific out of him, relationship-wise.

‘Well, you know…’ Dec shrugs. ‘It’s okay, I think. It’s one big gay joke, the whole thing, with loads of embarrassing bits and making fun of ourselves, but we never had too much dignity anyway.’

‘So you’re acknowledging it,’ she nods seriously.

‘We can’t just ignore it, to be fair,’ he smiles back tepidly.

Cat shakes her head. ‘I know plenty of people who would. And you have to give yourself credit when you’re doing something right.’

‘Hah, yeah, because doing something right is exactly what this is. Forced out of the closet and we are gracious enough to acknowledge it. Well done us!’

They are suddenly stopped when they get to the next turn - a couple of stage-hands seemingly have tried to move a large piece of the stage set through the corridors, but now it’s stuck. Dec is assured by several people rapidly that the issue is going to be solved any minute now, but he just raises his eyebrows at them, like he couldn’t be less fazed by this catastrophic turn of events and leans on a wall casually, continuing his conversation with Cat, waiting to be able to get through.

‘You see, a tiny part of me thought, you two put the picture out,’ Cat says in a way that’s almost outrageously shy, especially coming from her.

‘What, that we did this whole thing on purpose?’ Dec asks back, definitely not as outraged as he perhaps would have been a day, maybe even hours ago.

She nods silently.

‘You’re not the first person to accuse me of that today,’ Dec remarks, surprised to detect humour in his own voice. ‘Ant and you should really make a Facebook group for that or something.’

He laughs, but Cat just gapes at him. ‘Wait, he said what?’

Dec sighs again. ‘I don’t know, Cat,’ he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. There are quite a few people mulling around now, waiting for the corridor to be free to walk again, but the casual chatting of people and the shouts of the stage-hands make enough noise for Dec to deem it a safe environment to have this conversation in. He’s at a point where he doesn’t care much anyway, to be fair.

‘At first it was just that we reacted really differently,’ he starts explaining it, from the start, from the beginning, like he never had a chance to do so with his Mam, like he felt too awkward to with Ali, and too uncomfortable with his sister. ‘He automatically tried to defend what they had with Lisa, which is fair enough, but for me, it was all about finally doing what we should have done ten years ago. Being honest about it. I guess,’ he chuckles, realising the irony of it just now, ‘I reacted like everyone else, assuming that we’d be together now that’s it out, just taking it for granted.

‘But then he broke up with Lise, but decided not to tell me, so I could choose to leave him if I wanted to apparently, or… whatever the fuck that was about,’ he looks at Cat here significantly, with a “can you believe how stupid and annoying he is” kind of look, and when Cat laughs (surprised a little, but indulging) it feels like the best thing in the whole wide world.

‘And well, I’m definitely not with Ali, but it’s just… well, there were some trust-’ Dec stops himself before he could say “issues”. ‘There were some trust things… On my part, mainly. And maybe that’s why he seems to think that it’s like honesty hour now or something, because he keeps coming up with all these things that he never told me and I just… fuck, I wish we could just… Stop time or something. Call half-time. Because we have no idea how to handle any of this fucked up thing and we… put these people through this thing, this sick thing, for… for years! I mean, Mam’s not talking to me, Lisa is fucking heartbroken, but like, still taking it in her stride, Ali is fucking amazing, doing the manager things, and… fuck, there’s Clare and Georgie and so many other people that we just… fucked. And for what? So we can shag each other? It’s like I never even realised how stupid this whole thing…’ his rant stops suddenly and abruptly, with him having to take an almost unexpected breath out of nowhere, but then he shrugs and lets out an indignant little huff, not bothering to finish his sentence.

‘You’re actually fighting?’ Cat asks into the silence, her eyes a very deep brown.

‘I guess, we finally got to the point of breaking. We always said, it’d happen one day and it wasn’t healthy that we never fought.’ Dec suddenly wonders for a second if it was actually them who always said this, or if it was just one of them, and if yes, which one. He shakes his head, letting go of this pointless thought.

‘It wasn’t just shagging though, Dec. You are in love. You can’t control that,’ Cat says quietly, reminding Dec of a negotiator trying to talk someone off a roof, someone who’s very determined to jump.

‘Well, fuck. I don’t know what the right answer is or what we should have-’ a sudden picture-perfect memory startles him into silence. An echoing church corridor, eight or so years ago, him running, trying to comprehend what’s just happened, trying not to throw up, just running and running, like the coward he is, the fucking mess that he was that day. But, no. He did the right thing. Or… did he? Wasn’t it always going to end like this, out in the open? Didn’t he just postpone the inevitable by not doing what he was prepared to finally go through with that day? ‘We are still responsible for all of this,’ he says gravely after a while, after collecting himself a bit.

‘I wasn’t expecting you to be fighting though,’ Cat says, sort of just thinking aloud.

‘Neither did we,’ Dec replies, grimacing. ‘We ran out of secrets today though, I think,’ he adds, almost like an after-thought, not sounding as hopeful as he’d like. ‘Don’t look at us like that,’ he asks Cat pleadingly when she stares at him, looking a bit like she’s never seen him in her life.

‘Sorry,’ she says, catching herself. ‘I- I guess, I just thought, you would be more…’

‘Prepared for something like this?’ Dec finishes her sentence, laughing humourlessly. ‘Yeah, no, ‘cos, we’re idiots like. But I think for Ant it was way easier to get over all this. It’s like he jumped from this is not serious, it’s never been, to this place where he’s just incredibly comfortable with everything and… I guess, this is what I always wanted and now I know this, but I was just so fucking afraid that I never admitted it to myself and I’m still pretty much just scared shitless,’ he concludes. ‘Well. That’s where we are right now. That’s what I mean by I don’t know.’

Cat seems to think about it for a moment, taking it all in, processing, then - looking as enlightened as it goes - she says, ‘You’ve been struggling with this for a lifetime, Decs. You had way too much time to think about it and make up all these problems in your head, whether they are real or not. You just have more to get through than he does,’ she says and Dec is a bit taken aback by how it’s actual sensible advise, even if it can just be translated into a simple “give it time”. ‘Like the wedding thing?’ Cat adds tentatively and oh, fuck.

‘Shit. I forgot you knew about that,’ Dec shakes his head, pointedly staring at his shoes. The pain he expects from the mention of the wedding doesn’t come this time (maybe he’s exhausted his quota for the day or it’s too soon, from a moment ago when he thought about it, to hurt properly again), and that’s unusual, but he does feel more embarrassed than he has in a long while, and that’s really something, considering he just had several close-up pictures of snogging Ant’s face off exposed to, and tabloid-pushed-down-the-throats of, most of the country’s population.

‘I was there,’ Cat says significantly. ‘I don’t just know about it, I fucking saw it happen.’

Dec is infinitely thankful for the distraction of someone coming up to him, saying that the set piece really is stuck and maybe they are better off choosing a different route and just going the long way around, so the wedding topic is left well and alone. Dec exchanges pleasantries about this overall quite sitcom-humorous turn of events with the person and (‘They were not supposed to move it through here, but a couple of the new guys didn’t know,’ he explains to Cat) turns around to walk back the way they came from.

‘So… I mean, I just assumed that you’re like together, especially after the pictures, but now I’m… not so sure?’ Cat continues her probing, and despite his general and automatic annoyance by this line of questioning, Dec finds that it’s really nice to complain to someone about all this.

‘Yeah. Yeah? Maybe. Probably.’ Dec shoots her a painful smile when he realises how stupid that sounded. ‘It’s complicated.’

‘Have you talked about it?’ she asks, laughing a little, as they turn onto another corridor.

‘We… sort of did,’ Dec confirms, but then he goes off-topic, his thoughts racing too fast for him to make them coherent enough to even just stop himself from casually blurting them out. ‘Today he said I love you to me in the most casual way and I said it back without even thinking about it and I feel like… It doesn’t feel like a normal relationship, like we didn’t have any of those moments, like we never even had a first date like, but I feel like I’ve been dating him since I was twenty or something – how is that right?’ he asks, feeling every bit as pathetic as he know he must sound.

‘It can’t be right just because it’s not usual?’ Cat asks back wonderingly, for some reason still humouring Dec. ‘Okay, so you didn’t have a traditional I love you moment, so what?’ (Dec opens his mouth here, because while they might not have had a so-to-speak “traditional” I love you moment - and Ant might stupidly deny that that was their first one on top of that -, it was still pretty romcom-like, thank you very much, involving some leftover curry, crap telly and Peter Andre being their upstairs neighbour playing a weirdly significant role in all of it, but then he thinks better of it and just lets Cat continue without interrupting). ‘You have other things. You have a kind of connection that most people wouldn’t ever dare dream of…’

‘I guess so,’ Dec says awkwardly. He still finds it incredibly strange how other people perceive their relationship, how other people consider his day-to-day normal to be unique and special. Not to say, he’s not aware of how lucky he is to have found Ant, it’s just…

He stops at a door leading to a set of service stairs, holds it open for Cat, lets her grab onto his arm as she - surprisingly elegantly - struggles down them in her heels. ‘It’s just confusing and I feel like I can’t figure it out - any of it,’ he says finally. ‘And there’s just so much pressure from everywhere to do the right thing and be so many things and it’s bloody all over the papers like and…’

‘I really didn’t expect you to be this hesitant about this,’ Cat says earnestly, stopping for a moment.

Dec looks at her. Then with new-found energy, ‘I mean just because it’s supposed to work, just because it’s us, it doesn’t mean that it actually will. We’re just jumping into it and there’s no time to adjust, not like when you’re actually dating someone, to get used to them, to figure out their habits and-‘

‘But, Dec…’ she interrupts him, sounding astonished. ‘You don’t need to do that,’ she laughs incredulously, shaking her head.

He looks at her, a bit frustrated, waiting for her to explain.

‘You know all this. Yeah, this might be an issue for other people who get together like this, from an affair or whatever, and yeah, it might be an adjustment, a hard one, but the pair of you are…’ she laughs again, almost fondly, ‘…strange and weird and… just think it through! You know what’s it like to live with him. You see each other every single day. You know his habits, you know what he does first thing in the morning, you know how he takes his coffee, you have shared a bathroom together, you do actually go shopping together. Dec, you have a joint twitter account for god's sake,' she finishes, looking like she’s clearly just won this whole thing altogether.

Dec opens his mouth to snarl back at her, but then he realises, he’s not sure what to say. After a while he just puts a hand on her lower back to usher her forwards and in the right direction. They don’t say much of anything for the rest of the way; Dec deep in his thoughts, Cat clicking with her heels like she’s the queen of the universe or something and she just solved Dec’s every problem single-handedly.

Well, Dec thinks with a wry smile, as he hands her the teas so he can open his dressing room door. Maybe she is. And maybe she didn’t exactly solve everything, but. This is definitely a start, or… maybe even a clear sighting of a finish line that, until a minute ago, Dec wasn’t even sure - couldn’t possibly hope! - existed.

chapter 30