#just in case you cant open instagram

[godsstrongestangel]

ASTRO NOTES - 1

These are notes not observations because yes these are factz onlii 🗿 Take it with a pinch of salt

⚠️TW- sensitive, my cry soft babies 🥺 this is not for u honey just take my virtual hug 🫂 and take care of urself 💗

Capricorn moons are a disgrace to Capricorn community it is because of them the "capricorn sun" is stereotyped as judgemental and close minded for being so rigid when in reality it is true for moons onli the cap suns are the sweetest and most open minded people ever infact they are observational and not judgemental which indicates a higher level of intelligence unlike the cap moons (we get it its in detriment and you got a ton loads of mommy issue but baby whos gonna heal them? 🤡forget being the joker now, past is over)

Same way libra suns are petty and pathetic esp with their manipulative as well as people pleasing behaviors they are disgrace to libra community its other libra placements that represents true beauty and not shallowness or over rationalisation

I have to break it up to you but aquarius venus does not move on that easily infact many times it fails to move on they are just good at hiding it wanna know why? Because it is ruled by saturn daddy that means it is disciplined, determined and focused AND NO THEY ARE NOT CHEATERSSSS!!! Also being ruled by uranus means they will keep on bringing new changes (cant say for good or bad whoops!! ) in the relationship because it is a visionary sign they are probably daydreaming about marriage 🥺🥺 and yall are here throwin misiformation😒💀 PLUS ITSSS A FIXED SIGN WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM A FIXED SIGN SOCIETY?? TO MOVE ON IN THE SNAP OF A FINGER LIKE THANOSSSS BRO??

Now speaking of fixed venuses (aquarius, taurus, scorpio and leo) all of these fixed venus people at least have one lover they can never move on from they might feel they have moved on then suddenly the memories resurface 🏄🏻‍♀️🏄🏻‍♀️ you thought it was over huh?🤺🤺

Whats up with SCORPIO placements having a love for dogs and having a dog pet at least once in their life (esp moon) and then scorpio suns usually hating cats? 🗿 is it because they are willful and wont be manipulated by u? I suggest u seek some psychopath diagnosis this is some serious underdeveloped energy SIS/BRO IT IS UNHEALTHY

Aries and Scorpio mars would love the idea of tearing your clothes while making out or making love 😏💗🥵

Libra moons with air rising should actually consider polyamory

All libra moons are true romantics or should i say hopeless romantics

Cancer suns are pathological liars Its not Gemini yall need to stop giving them fake rep of lying

Leos suns talk a lot and they do not mix well with earth suns even if they try to earth sun will eventually find themselves pissed and drained bcuz of how much they speak and boast they are constantly speaking 😂 (gives headaches in worst case scenario)

Virgo sun and risings really do a lot of stuff and chores despite having phone addiction and even if they are not good in academic or dislike what they are studying they will still be seen suffering with books and notebooks

Venusians suns with leo moon are pretty miserable they are pessimistic and overthinkers it feels like they dont have touch with their emotions at all because they are constantly rationalising emotions to the point they are repulsive to deep feelers and feels almost inhumane 😬like you would not like forming deep connections with them because you will realise they lack emotional capabilities to connect with they sometimes can even make you loathe them or very annoyed its like you are dealing with someone who doesnt make sense at all as if their brain is underdeveloped or something you just dont wanna deal with them

Scorpio placements are not loyal

Sagittarius placements and doms laugh a lot 😂

All capricorn suns and virgo risings are skinny or petite

Aquarius suns do love posting on social media a lot and they do care about ur instagram 💀

Air venus can easily stay loyal with online relationships infact they are all loyal idk where the stereotypes are stemming from

[bbyquokka]

its me again BUT I CANT HELP IT the new challenge video of minsung... its a different thing BUT. jisung coming home with this outfit.. of course he is tired, he directly heads to living room to catch a breath, before even he can say something you sit on your knees in front of him, he gets what you want and smirks .. you slowly unbelt his pants,,,,,as u give him a head he calling u 'you're so pretty' 'my little slut' as he caress your hair 😖😖😖 you take slow as he guides you. okay enough.

so pretty !!

SMUT BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | gender neutral reader, idol au, oral sex ( m rec ), some guidance during oral sex, dirty talk & thoughts, degrading name: slut, semi proof read. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 0.7k ~ ( 749 )

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

he's so tired. he's spent all day at the studio filming for the lalalala practice video. the theme of the video was racer. he's spent all day dealing with stylists and make-up artists making sure he looks good before entering the dance studio and filming the video with the back-up dancers.

after he filmed the youtube content, it was then advised that him and minho filmed a challenge video for youtube shorts and instagram reels. by that point, he just wanted to go home and luckily for him, it only took one take to do before he was finally able to go home for the day.

he doesn't mind it, of course. it's fresh new content for stays. it's just comeback season is always tiring for him (and everyone else) the schedule forever being packed. interviews here, flying to japan there. stage after stage after stage performances – it's never ending.

due to how busy he has been, his needs have been neglected. you know this more than anyone considering how short tempered he is slowly becoming. you wish you could help him but you know he is also tired from working and most likely just wants to sleep.

but that's far from the case. jisung is tired but he is horny: blue balls horny! he misses you. he misses your touch, your scent, your taste. he misses the way you look at him, pleading for him and moaning for him. he wants you so bad, it hurts! 

he walks into the apartment he shares with you, mumbling a small “hello” before flopping onto the couch. today has been extra tiring and extra hard on him. he didn't even bother getting changed from the racer clothes he was put in. everything he did and everywhere he went he imagined you being with him. he imagined fucking you from behind in front of the studio mirrors. imaging your moans echoing and bouncing off the walls. he's had to try hard not to get hard and it's been so painful for him.

you notice him shifting in his seat. he readjusts himself, giving his semi hard-on a squeeze. he groans, kicking his head back a little and lips parting. you watch him massage and squeeze himself, watch as his cock grows and gets hard in his pants.

“fuck.. i shouldn't be doing this. i need to shower and eat but it feels so good.” you hear him mumble to himself. you watch him unzip his pants, pulling them down to his ankles and squeezing and palming himself through his underwear. you see his cock grow hard and throb. something stirs inside of you and before you know it; you're down on your knees in front of a hazy and horny looking jisung.

“oh. hey doll, didn't see you th–” he swallows thickly as he watches you reach up and pull his underwear down. “... h-hey babe. you don't have to do that. im fin–fuck!”

his cock has sprung free from its restraints. you look up at him with doe eyes as you rub his shaft slowly. he bites his bottom lip gently before grabbing the base of his penis and tapping it against your lips.

“open.” you part your lips slowly as you maintain your gaze on him. you lean down and gently suck on his tip, giving it long and slow licks.

“that’s it. fuck that feels good, darling. you're so good for me, mhm.” you give him a simple hum as you stroke his shaft from the base. “think you can take a little more of me, darling?”

your eyes flutter close as you lower your head further down. the corner of your lips stretch a little and burn. saliva gathers in your mouth as you feel stuffed. you slowly bob your head up and down, body shivering as you listen to jisung pant and whimper.

“that's it. such a pretty little slut. gosh, you feel so good around my cock.” you continue to suck and stroke him, free hand reaching up and cupping his balls. his hands caress your hair slowly and gently, giving it the occasional tug.

“hollow out your cheeks darling. that’s it.. make sure your tongue is flat and breath darling.” you do as instructed, listening to jisung giving you hints and tips on how he likes it. he praises you, forever telling you how well behaved you're being and how good he feels.

“my little slut looks so pretty with my cock between their lips.”

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 | @reboggingfun ; @fairylouist ; @poody1608 ; @maximumkillshot ; @bintific ; @fun-fanfics ; @septicrebel

[beansprean]

will you still be posting your art on tumblr with the ai scraping etc? :(

For now the answer is yes, of course! most of the people who want to see my stuff are here, and i like it here. i cant take back whatever midjourney already scraped from my blog before the announcement, and all my blogs now have the 'prevent third party w/e' thing toggled on (make sure yall do that too to protect your posts! any reblogs will still have that protection as long as the OP has it toggled btw so dont stop reblogging art lol), which i trust will provide me at least as much protection as posting images on the open internet did before lol. I might increase my watermarks? idk

I did sign up for both Wafrn and Cohost just in case, and I'm also fairly active on instagram (still beansprean everywhere), but IG SUCKS for posting comics because of the aspect ratio lol. I still plan to transport My Familiar's Ghost over to AO3 eventually (very time consuming)! You can also follow my Patreon; some posts there go public after a bit if you can't pay for early access!

i will let yall know if anything changes, but for now im here im queer and im not getting out of this chair!!

[writers-potion]

hi! its fairy anon again, thank you for your suggestions! i know my story sounds very gore heavy with my fairy eating babies worldbuilding but i promise my tone is actually much lighter than that 😭 i was kinda trying to take inspo from old fae stories where children would get lured away and go missing because of fairy antics. but anyway! i really like the idea of a chamber where people cant really see what happens inside. it actually gave me an idea to take that a step further to say that no one in-world actually knows what happens to the babies, so people just assume they get eaten. the idea of babies being whisked away somewhere else somehow, and that the place they get sent is linked to the fairy's longevity, i think is a good way to get my lore across without being gratuitously gorey. id love to know what you think of that idea and definitely would welcome any ideas you have in addition if you have any!

also for clarification, you understood my worldbuilding very well but i made a mistake by saying "enslaved" instead of "imprisoned". each noble house has a fairy living in a cell somewhere in the head of house's estate, and each noble house gets one element. for example, my protagonist is the heir to the house that recieved the ice blessing. but also the whole "fairies eating babies" thing is a secret from the public, the commoners of this kingdom have been fed lies for generations about the ancestors of the nobility saving the fae from extinction, which resulted in the faries "blessing" them. this is their justification for why they should be the ruling elite, despite there being very obvious corruption throughout the nobility

"The Mysterious Cave" Trope

Hi! I'm glad that my ideas helped you :)

I think the best way to further develop this idea of babies being whisked away is to take inspiration from existing ones:

The Piped Piper of Hamlin Type

The imprisoned fairies sing/whisper an enchantment that lures children, who walk voluntarily down to their prisons at night.

The "fairy song" picks up a baby, cradle and all, and delivers it to the fairy waiting in their prison

After that, no one knows what happens to the kids who were taken.

The Arabian Nights Type

In this case, there will be some action required from the child/baby, which will open the doors to the fairy's prison

For example, multiple babies can be brought forth in front of the prison's gates. The first baby to cry will automatically get the gates to open, and he will be claimed by the fairy.

Goldilocks and The Three Bears Type

The child/baby to be given is kept for a while (you can decide for how long) in a special room, fed special meals (this can be related to the particular element that the fairy controls) to optimize them for...consumption.

After the baby has been fed/washed/dressed for the occasion, the fairy can be brought into the chamber, or the babies given away to them in prison.

The Sleeping Beauty/Rapunzel Type

This is where the destiny of the babies are determined even before birth.

You can have the loyalty pay for their magic by giving up their second-born to the fairies, or have the loyalty pay off peasant parents to give up their unborn child in exchange of lifetime's worth of wealth.

Alternatively, it can be the fairies who foresee the birth of the babies that they'll consume ("a girl born in -- at -- hour shall be given to me" and such), and as soon as they're born, they'll be claimed.

Hope this helps! :)

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸

[fallingforel]

Hey!! What’s up? I was wondering if you could do number 3 on the prompt list with Alex Turner but can you make it like a hurt/comfort thing where maybe they get into some sort of fight? I don’t wanna be too specific because I hate taking away creative freedom but I would love you forever🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰

CW:MENTIONS OF SICK.

A/N I am so so so sorry that it has taken me more than a month to get to my requests but i have been super super busy with everything just taking some time out for myself but im back and carrying on with everything while dealing with writers block for arabella ahagaha anyway for those wanting to request... prompt list is here. on with the showwww

PROMPT 3: "I need you"

words: 1,058

⋆｡°✩

⋆｡°✩

"ALEX. GO AWAY. I DON'T FEEL WELL. I DON'T NEED YOU HERE. LOOKING AFTER ME LIKE SOME TINY TODDLER BA-" I shouted from inside the bathroom door, which was cut off by emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl.

"darling I just want to be here for you. help you."

"yeah well not right now. I don't need you getting sick just before you have to leave for tour tomorrow. I can't let you risk it. If you want to help go stay at a hotel so you don't get infected with whatever I've got going on right now"

"okay. okay. I'm going right now. call me if you need anything. promise"

"I promise Alex. go. I don't need you here."

an hour had passed when I had finally gotten up from the bathroom floor. finally emptying all that I could from my stomach.

"knock knock. I'm coming in." Natalie. my best friend had announced herself.

"ugh. not you as well. Nat I'm fine. I don't need everyone babysitting me. I've dealt with sickness on my own before I don't need everyone looking after me I'm not a child"

"oh wow. I was only coming to say hello. but I've clearly hit a nerve. what's going on nobody mentioned you were sick. in that case stay clear of me I've got a shoot in 3 days. I do not have time to get sick"

"cheers nat. Thanks for looking after me."

"geez with the mood swings. you weren't wanting me to babysit you a few moments ago now you want me to look after you. What's wrong with you anyway"

"well, I've got sore boobs, metallic taste in my mouth all the time, I'm throwing up all the time I'm also tired all the fucking time. I just want this bug to pass so I can go back to happy healthy Y/n"

"Y/n babe when did you last have your period. 2 months ago why???" it took me a moment to realise it. and soon I gasped. "OMG! no I cant be this has come at the worst time I cant be. I'm on the pill and we used a condom"

"not always effective babe."

"okay okay. lets not rush into anything. Can you go pick up a pregnancy test."

"no need. I've got one in my bag for emergencies"

"err... I'm not gonna question that right now, we'll circle back to that one later. but okay I'll go take that right now. you stay here."

⋆｡°✩

After waiting what felt like an age but in reality only three minutes I flipped the test over.

POSITIVE 3+ WEEKS

"fucking great. just at the worst time." I whispered to myself.

"Y/n is everything okay in there."

"yeah. I need to be on my own. I'm sorry"

"don't even mention it babe. I'll see myself out now. Want me to lock the door"

"nah leave it open. shut it obviously but don't lock it"

⋆｡°✩

I knew I needed to tell Alex. tell him I was sorry before he left and about the baby that was growing inside me at the minute.

The phone rang once twice three times before he finally picked up.

"Y/n babe is everything okay."

"I need you. so bad" I cried down the phone to him

"I'm coming right now sweetheart. do you need anything?" he asked.

"Just a hug"

"okay okay. I'm on my way. Be five minutes top darling"

⋆｡°✩

and he really wasn't lying when he said he'd be no longer than 5 minutes because I heard the door go no longer than 3 minutes after I ended the phone call.

"Y/n darling?" he called

"upstairs Alex" I said my voice wavering.

he burst the bathroom door open. and I started sobbing jumping into his arms wrapping my arms round his torso. the both of us swaying from the impact a bit. but we soon stopped and Alex's arms soon wrapped round meeting at my waist. Alex walks the two of us to our shared bedroom sitting us down on the bed.

"woah darling what's this what's got you in such a tizzy?" he asks.

"I'm sorry." I mumble into his shoulder.

"sorry for what sweetheart?"

"sorry for shouting at you. sorry for accusing you for babying us. sorry for the news I'm about to put on you."

"There's no need to apologise for that darling you did nothing wrong." It takes him a moment for him to realise my last statement from my previous statement.

"Y/n what news what are you going on about? You are really freaking me out honey."

"Stay here" I pull myself out of his arms, and walk to the bathroom where the pregnancy test lay on top of the toilet.

"This is the news." I say walking back into the bedroom sitting on the bed next to him and pass him the pregnancy test that lay in my hand.

"You mean- You mean we're going to be parents?"

"Not if you don't want to be."

"Not if I dont? Darling of course I want to be a parent. Do you want to be?"

"of course I do its just-"

"it's just what?"

"Its just. Is now even the right time to become preganant especially when you leave for tour tomorrow. What about in 9 months time? What about when I become too fat to walk anywhere."

"That won't happen sweetheart. because you aren't gonna become fat. You'll have a baby in your tummy. Our baby. And as for the tour. You'll come with me, we can sort out something. we're doing the asia america and australia first and then in 4 months we'll be in the UK and your joining me for every single leg sweetheart the tour wont effect your pregnancy, we'll be home before babys here and there'll still be time for nesting getting baby ready and everything else."

"okay. thank you Alex. for calming my worries. We're going to be parents." I say pulling him into a hug.

"Damn right we are."

⋆｡°✩

9 months later.

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by sam_fender, Harrystyles, mattjhelders and 1,890 others

yourusername Gianna Louise Turner 13/05/23

mattjhelders: shes beautiful y/n

breanahelders: amelia finally has someone to play with

↳yourinstagram: not too soon though, shes only just been born 😂

comments on this post have been limited

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

I’m so glad you agree with all this. Because I’m sorry I know I shouldn’t just be calling out every celebrity left and right, but I’m being risky and calling out Zendaya she also only posted one thing on her story after about a month probably just to get people from her comments off her back and then she goes radio silent again? Because before the 7 of October she was probably the most active she’s been for awhile and then silence?? It just frustrates me so much

Yeah, i called out Pedro because he has always been vocal about these kinds of stuff, i dont follow Zendaya on social media but i think she is friends with the Hadid sisters? In which case is kinda crazy she hasnt posted more since Gigi literally got attacked by Israel on instagram.

I know it can sound ridiculous to people for us to be asking celebrities to post sonething, because it has always been said that social media post are mostly a performative way for them to clean their image, but this is one of the few instances where posting actually helps and its such a simple thing to do, i can understand smaller actors not doing more since they barely make any money and probably have families to feed and cant afford to get blacklisted.

But when you see big names like Mark Ruffalo and Angelina Jolie and even smaller ones like Khelani being so active and blunt about what is happening you do wonder why other big names are not. Specially when zionist celebrities are so open with their islamophobia and support of geneocide.

They are prominent figures in the US, the biggest financial supporter of Israel, they probably pay millions of dollars in taxes that go to fund israel's goverment, their voice matters. Politicians deal in money and public opinion, they have the power to make them do something and yet they chose not to and its so dissapointing and frustrating to see them just not care.

When you are from a developing country like me, it just feels like they would also stand by and watch the US do the same to you.

[isimpfornatsume]

Jealousy (Oikawa x reader) part 6

Masterlist | part 5 | part 7

((Previously))

((2nd person POV))

You sat there quietly, waiting for the love of your life, waiting for the one who makes your day to arrive.

It was 9pm when you called him. Man where you bored. Your parents were out on a business trip to Singapore and usually when that happens Oikawa will accompany you. Of course your parents didn't mind. They love that sweet and charming boy and they approved of him. A/N: In italics is Y/N's thoughts! At least he promised to come over. What's the worst that could happen? Nothing much right? You ponder upon it for a while then realise worst case scenario, he could not appear at all.

Pushing that pessimistic thought of your, you stood up and went to the living room to find a movie that both you and Oikawa would enjoy. After searching for a while, you found an alien themed movie where aliens exist in real life! Hmm kawa would love this movie! I'm sure he would tell me how much he wishes it to be real at the end of the show!

While waiting for Oikawa to arrive, you played some of your favourite songs and changed your clothes, tying your hair and even apply a touch of makeup to look nice and appealing for him. Especially since he would come right after a date with Ruby. You even make your hair wavy just like how Oikawa likes it. You checked your phone after dressing up and it was 10.30pm. You took 1h 30 min to dress up and Oikawa was still not here. So, any normal girl, you texted him.

Y/N<3:

Kawa~

You are coming right? 

When are you arriving?

I miss u

It's so lonely here... delivered

Ah maybe he's busy or he's on his way. I should be patient and wait for a while more. So you decided to wait. You were scrolling through Instagram when you came across an image that you did not quite like. It was an image of Oikawa and Ruby kissing!!! It does not look like it was a peck on the lips but it looks like Oikawa shoving his tongue into Ruby's throat kind of kiss! 

Your heart dropped. He promised you. He swore he would never kiss her on the lips. No intimate actions with her. And that looks very intimate to you. Oikawa Tooru had just broken his promise with you... Maybe the image was wrong. Maybe it was photo edited... Maybe... You were clinging on to that tiny glimmer of hope and decided to call Oikawa. It was 11pm afterall. 

Calling Oikawa<3 (the💗of my life)...

Y/N<3:

Hello? Kawa?

Oikawa<3 (the💗of my life):

Y/N, what the hell do u want? I'm busy right now! 

If you have nothing to say then bye!

Y/N<3: 

Oikawa! What's with your attitude?! 

And busy with what?

Making out with Ruby?!

You promised you wouldn't do that!

Oikawa<3 (the💗of my life):

Making out with Ruby?!

Oh so you do know! 

Since you know what I'm doing, do me a favor and not disturb my time with Ruby!

Y/N<3:

Oikawa what?

Now ur just being mean...

U promised to come over to celebrate our anniversary so pls? Come over?

Oikawa<3 (the💗of my life):

Ugh you're so clingy

Fine I'll come 'visit' you since ur so annoying 

And you ruined my mood

Call ended.. 

Man were you mad at him. Not only did he broke a promise, he even ended the phone call so rudely and was rude to you. You waited for a while more and then you heard the door bell rang. You got up and opened the door to see your boyfriend, Oikawa Tooru. You were prepared to scold him but upon seeing him, you couldn't say anything.

"So Y/N-chan, are you gonna let me in or what?"

"Ohh right! Come in. We have so much to do! I've prepared a movie for us to watch and cuddle!" You exclaimed happily. God, you cant stay mad at him for long can you? There's this cute and handsome boy right at your doorstep who are you to stay mad at him for? 

Oikawa stomped in, plop himself on the couch and said something hurtful. "Why the hell are you dressed like this, it looks so ugly on u. And what's the point of putting makeup if you're still gonna be this ugly?"

That was the last thing you wanted to hear from him that sentence that he said, calling you ugly, that broke you. You couldn't stand being called ugly. Thats your greatest insecurity. Usually when you are called ugly, Oikawa is the one who comforts you. Who tells you how pretty you actually are. A/N: Yes you are pretty and you cant convince me otherwise. Hearing him call you ugly was horrible. It broke you. 

You always had this insecurity when Oikawa was with his fangirls. There were so much prettier than you and you were scared one day Oikawa will no longer find you pretty. Oikawa will no longer like you and you guys would break up! You cant have that. You love that guy too much for that to happen. If one day he left you, you would be broken. And he called you ugly.

[daubigny-stan]

i watch a lot of youtube because i do not like having nothing on in the background lest i consume myself with my own thoughts. one of my most watched genres is fashion youtube. i've been watching fashion youtube since highschool, back in 2016-2017. and from watching all those yearly trends, thrift flips, and hauls, i've come to the conclusion that if i ever want to do youtube, i would not start until ive got a dayjob and like... robust self-esteem. age 27 AT LEAST.

so let me take you through my thought process. the queen of fashion youtube at the time was Ashley bestdressed. she did thrift hauls, thrift flips, outift inspos, the whole shebang. i think she was college - fresh graduate age when her channel was at peak popularity? and in 2020 she just dipped. disappeared. she makes content for ig only now and is working for many major fashion houses (good for her!). she vanished for a variety of reasons, in her videos she has always talked about her mental health struggles, having a stalker so she had to move a couple times during covid nonetheless, and honestly having the worst fanbase. i was on bestdressed reddit and discord at the time, these fans were horrible.

now, the most popular girlies on fashion youtube are kathleen illustrated, beepworld, mina le, and steal the spotlight (although im sorry to say in numbers not doing nearly as well as ashley; give em a watch if you're into fashion!). many of them started around the same time citing Ashley as a big influence. here i want to compare these creators to Ashley, not to incite hate but to understand what makes a healthy and sustainable content creator career.

I think age and career are a big factor because although social media content creation is usually a young man's job (because young people can keep up with trends and what not), the social part of social media is grueling. the horror of being known times like. a million. in ashley's case she had 3 million subscribers. and when you're around 21-25 ish you are the most insecure you will ever be. at least for me, i hope (im 22 now). so not only was ashley most likely struggling (she was very open about it, she made a lot of self deprecating jokes) but her biggest demographic was people her age who's insecurities were probably fueled by her content. like i will stress, im NOT blaming ashley, but like. 20 year olds watching another 20 yr old live her best life? oh my god the jealousy. the insecurity. it didn't help that she was so relatable and humble about it, i think we get more jealous of other people's success the closer they are to us (why i dont look at my personal instagram anymore lol). badabing badaboom parasocial relationship and 3 million people watching your every move and critiquing every bit of it. her fanbase had THE most baseless critiques. disguising her rich background or whatever, hating on her for being privileged (which she recognized a lot btw), literally going incel mode and making comments about every inch of her body, the only critique that holds up is prob the amazon video which she deleted. also she was not white which i think people were very weird about. i cant deny that her white contemporaries got much less hate.

what works with the creators now is some of them have careers outside of youtube and are also less personal with their content. for example, kathleen illustrated has a career in the creative industry which means she mostly does youtube for fun. you can tell it's not a source of stress for her, from the way she is in her videos. they also don't really talk about their lives in a personable way which separates them from their audience. now i know this point in particular in contentious, authenticity and relatability are huge selling points on youtube. but i guess it's more of analyzing the costs and benefits of it? is it worth to put your whole life out there? showing your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your friends? what if you split up? you can have a personable aura without revealing private details. in mina le's videos, since most of them are video essays she has the opportunity to show off her personality without revealing private details.

i hope the creators i mentioned and others don't have to go through what ashley bestdressed has gone through. i know content creation is a very passion filled career and to end up in circumstances where you lose your love for it sounds awful

[gsfan]

Hiya!

I was disappeared for 5 months or about kind of it (it wasn't burnout), so, there is my other social networks if you interesting my other arts/fanarts/etc.:

Instagram : @/enri_cocha_here

Pinterest page: @/En's doodles :3

by careful when wath my arts stuff/etc., it can be very bright, so please lower brightness on your screen to not lost yor sight (im sorry if your eyes are sore from my some bright arts--)

And you can call me whatever you want like:

Cocha/Ench/Enrico/Enca/etc.

The main thing is that it should be clear to me that you are addressing me:3

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my other blogs (idk when i return to itXD):

@enri-ch (main art acc.)

@dumbestart (doodles acc.) (abandoned*)

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Now i have 2 my own stories, whom i write and develop (it MountainsTale, story with my own ocs (I didn't come up with a name after 3 years, but now I'm changing the plot for this, this is the lore of my 7 ocs🥲)

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About my au (MountainsTale)

so, what can i say? I havent throw this, just I writing it very slowly and getting confused in my own notes lol. I ofc will post here doodles about it too.

and heeeeeeeey, if you want to chat with my characters use c.ai and share my page @/CochaCocha (but pls remember that bots can say non-canon things about my au and og characters from it--). Especially Rudy's bot, he breaks MountainsTale Gaster's trauma the most:_____)... an canon too-

(i typed 32k lyrics in it,._.,)

and most of they is au-ish a little or completely🙃

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if you want you can ship my fan-ut-ocs, but not in proshipper way, ok? i dont approve proshipper thematic with my ocs at all:/

dont ship no one from them, most of them is relatives, I don't approve of i*c*st and pe*op*ilia with my ut ocs.

As an example, I can cite a few of my wasps (I didn't mention their connections earlier because I forgot :(

Fuyou and Kajou are adopted brothers and on my old arts they are kids (I have adult versions of them, but the versions I drew before are only 12 and 14 years old. Those versions that I draw now are 22 and 24 years old).

Lucius and Hazy (old ocs) is brothers to each other and Lucius is 8 years older than Hazy.

And so its with most of my ocs. these skeletons are bros and in Gaster's case, he's Paps' and Sans' father or their brother in my headcanons/fanons.

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Special thanks to my always PERFECTLY working damn Internet aaaaaaaaaaaaaghghh😡😡😡😡

(I just live in some damn wilderness😔😔😔)

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i love to draw Sans or G often (G in my headcanons/fanons is always Sans' and Paps' bro or dad, so cuz of this i draw him similar to a skeleton to show their kinship).

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my reposted doodles i will note with #[repost]

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✏️art requests✏️

[open]

-you can request my doodles 3 times.

-one request can include up to 2 persons.

-allowed: your undertale ocs/your own ocs/other fd ocs/characters

-not allowed: ships (srry, i cant draw this due to personal circumstances so far), NSFW/Gore

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i use: pen/mechanical pencil + one some of my 7 sketchbooks or tablet with spen

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progs: IbispaintX, Infinitypainter (often for doodles)

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Thanks for reading this! Have a good day and I hug you with your permission!!^^💗💗💗🫵🫵🫂🫂🫶

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For some reason, i cant tag this blog on my main blog, idk why:(

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Im alive, just my fav 4 exam books drawing me crazy every day now. Im stupid, so I chose English exam...

I apparently live in Siberia or something, but everything is already covered with snow in my town, so 🦇🎃🕸️Merry Xmas🕸️🎃🦇

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last update: 27/10/24

[musicalsiphonophore]

siph listens to the sex was good until it wasn’t: my initial responses

me waiting until 11.40 to listen to a xana album? fret not, it’s not voluntary, i just needed to not be overexcited before my biology exam!

Lip Service: the opening had me worried for a moment, but HOOOLY SHIT THE SECOND HALF. I must listen to this one more time, I can’t help myself. I DONT KNOW WHO YOURE TRYINNGGGGGG TO BEEEEEE AHAHAHHAHAHAH IM ALMOST IN TEARS THIS IS SO GOOD

the sex was good!: i don’t like the instrumentals but her voice is- oh nvm i do like the instrumentals. oh nvm i don’t. this is beautiful in any case. HEY WAIT SHE POSTED THIS ON INSTAGRAM!!! I love the chorus!!! and the finale again!!!! xana knows how to end a song omg

Better Kind Of Best Friend: fucking magnificent as we know. loves me and she shows it fucks me and reloads it hell yeahhhhhhh 🎵 it was so iconic of her to release this single on valentine’s day btw

Homewrecking Era: THAT FUCKING TRANSITION WAS SO CLEAN. oh my god. I love this song. I love this song. Let me live inside this song please let me live inside the bit that goes “right bout now i wonder if she knows” i want to live in that part of music please

monster: i dont love it. i know i dont love it. it makes an excellent contrast next to home wrecking era though, it sounds better in context yk. a few lyrics on it are really… oof!! (shoot my meanest words like arrows, i make damn sure they echo)

Sick Joke: fucking yes. fucking yes. yes. “I only miss it a little and I don’t wish you very well, you only loved me in riddles but you still loved me I could tell”, the instrumentals in that part are lovely. i love the instrumentals in all of it actually.

15: this is so upsetting. my goodness me. it’s so sad. oh my goodness. “still smiled at my mother, what she don’t know won’t hurt her” oh my goodness poor small xana :(. the way she sings “i cant live like this forever”. ohhhh.

Lavender Daughter: ooooh this openin is a great start. oooooh this song is sad too. oh no. i’m so sad ddddddddd helppppp. this album is so sad. help. “FUCK YOUR REMORSE HOPE IT ONLY GETS BIGGER” 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

FERAL: hmmm hmmm excellent start! oooohghhhhh “maybe” that scratches my brain. i love this. i love this. i looooove this song it’s SO GOOD. aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA. oooooh the bridge. i love the bridge. i want to eat the bridge.

BODY: so upbeat! uncharacteristically upbeat!! I like it!! Well, do I? I don’t like it massively, but I do like it. Okay, no, I don’t really like it. I see the appeal, maybe it’ll be better when I relisten it a few times. I like the guitars.

The Kicker: this is decent. eh. i again don’t like it all that much. I like the line “there’s a lake at the bottom of our river”. I’m not sure what it means but it speaks to me somehow. I quite like the ending of it I guess.

earth eyes: I like that this is something different. It’s only an interlude really. It is very good.

Alibi: pretty guitar opening. I have been expecting it to build up and it has not done that. I think I’ll appreciate this more on relistenings as well. It is pretty like a glass ornament is pretty, and reminds me somewhat of the blue room interlude which I adore.

4ever: awful start. this verse has no melody to it. Not A Fan. Oh never mind I do love this chorus!!! This chorus is lovely!!! Ooooh this second verse is a lot better too!! Okay, I can do this song. It’s not my favourite by any means but I accept it.

January: starts bad and thinly textured and boring, but as it builds up I’m starting to enjoy it a lot. By like 2:20 I’m enjoying it. Oh no it texture-thinned again. Alas. I feel about this one the way I feel about 19; too long, and it’s at the end of the album anyway so I almost want to not bother with it. Sorryyyy. I like the very ending though.

In Conclusion.

my favs are Lip Service, Homewrecking Era, 15, Better Kind Of Best Friend.

This album is the most emotionally destructive and personal creation, it is quite devastating. Especially 15 and Lavender Daughter.

A lot of the songs start very slow so I think I don’t like them, then they build up to a beautiful climax and fade out with just xana singing the same line repeatedly, alone, heartwrenchingly emotionally - I don’t like that lack of variety, I want more different structures and interludes and neat transitions going on. Especially since I’m not a fan of the slow fade in.

I also wish babyblue made it on, though I understand it doesn’t fit the vibes or the themes, as it is one of my favourite xana songs.

It started really strong for me, but after 15 or so, it got … not so strong.

[rad-lightning-boy]

what exactly did frank iero do. other than problematic tweets that he made in like 2009 (over a decade ago). like people intentionally try to engage with him in a way where he gives them ‘sass’ or rubs them and that’s his brand

TW. harassment, suicide, self harm, cyber bullying, death threats

Before I get into it, I'm really glad that someone asked about this because I've been meaning to make a post about it. Thanks for asking about it.

I'd recommend checking out @ patheticjunkievampire on Instagram (and possibly twitter? I'm not completely sure if they've said much about it on there) they mostly talk about that incident when frank made a tweet saying smth along the lines of "is you see any accounts saying that they're me reply with "STRANGER DANGER"".

The account he was referring to (patheticvampirejunkie) was literally just posting MCR themed photography- they never claimed to be frank and yet he sent his entire fanbase to essentially harass this person (again, all they did was post photography.)

If you go back and check their first post, a lot of the comments are just "STRANGER DANGER". I know that might not seem like a lot rn but it gets worse.

They posted a lot on their story after they finished the set (I'm not sure what the word for that is. The MCR themed photos they did all counted down from 64 (the beginning) to 1 (the end)) they talked about how the MCR fandom and specifically frank Stans have made their mental health significantly worse than it was when they started posting.

They would post screenshots of interactions they've had with Frank Stans and it's sickening. They received death threats, and messages like "you should kill yourself" and ppl would tell them to cut themselves.

Patheticjunkievampire has also stated before that they've struggles with suicide and self harm in the past, so the fact that these hardcore stans used this against them is sick.

A few people reached out to patheticjunkievampire and told them about experiences they've personally had with Frank. This person gave a platform to people who have had bad experiences with him (ik you cant tell whether someone is a dick or not purely based of some people's experiences, but there were a lot and they were all relatively similar. So to me, these stories that people shared seemed extremely possible since the things he did just suddenly seemed like something he would do.)

The frank stans didn't like that this person was giving a chance for people who had bad experiences with him to express their feelings. They received so much hate for simply saying their opinion.

This all took place on Instagram and Twitter. Obviously depending on what platform you use and engage with MCR content, you're gonna be around different people. The ppl on Tumblr seem way more accepting and open to criticism of their fav band, the ppl on twitter and Instagram are way different.

In my opinion it's kinda weird that frank hasn't really said anything about it. He's literally always online, how tf has he not even heard of any of this??

Another thing I just wanna add (doesn't have anything to do with patheticjunkievampire but I still think it's worth adding) frank sold a bunch of his old stuff. Which isn't inherently bad or anything but...

He was advertising a bunch of old clothes and instruments he had during the MCR era, so he was clearly targeting his fans (his young fans). He was advertising extremely old shitty clothes (that you can find way cheaper literally anywhere else) and he sold them for like X4 (at least) of the original prices. He claimed (for the instruments at least) that he wanted to know that they were being played, because he obviously can't play all those instruments at once.

In that case, if the main reason that he was getting rid of all these instruments... Why didn't he just donate them?? Why did he have to heavily advertise his store to his fans and then sell all his old ratty shitty clothes for such a huge profit? Just doesn't seem ethical to me tbh...

TL:DR

My main problem with Frank is that he, not only, picks on people on twitter, but he makes that kind of behaviour acceptable. By not apologizing or taking accountability for these things, he makes this behaviour (harassment, death threats, cyber bullying, telling ppl to kill themselves or hurt themselves) an okay thing to do. His fans are so toxic and will defend him so much to the point where if you literally just say that you don't like him, they will harass and spam you with really triggering things.

I really hope this clears that up. He's definitely done other things but I couldn't remember them- if anyone has anything else to add please do.

[blueiight]

1- in the book vampire ashes do reform unless scattered however it’s implied by magnus they’d come back pretty messed up and “not right”. if this is the case then she wouldn’t have just shown up in prague yesterday. the other vamp actor said he was in prague almost a month before shooting to do fittings, make up, and all that. If SHE comes back it would be a lot of work cause she’d look even worse than lestat who’s suppose to be a hideous piece of crap at this stage.

2- fans did see her on the set but she was only watching along with other spectators. Sam however was nowhere to be found prob cause he was actually working. I think if she was actually part of the shoot she wouldn’t be hanging around all night watching and I don’t think production would want her out in the open mingling with fans if she was meant to be a surprise twist. Actors have grueling schedules and tend to rest btwn takes so this sounds like she was there for fun.

3- a private Instagram with thousands of followers is basically public I’m sorry to say. unless you weed out followers who aren’t personal acquaintances she wouldn’t have posted if it wasn’t meant to be freely shared and it’s not like she deleted it after either.

maura grace athari only has 1,819 followers on instagram as of today & even then follower count or not her instagram’s been private for months. im not saying people cant look at her page if they follow her, but its really bleak the internet culture of entitlement that people spiral off into lines of the most paranoid readings / speculation based off one picture an actress posted or people saying they saw her around the set. that being said i do think ur onto something especially with the work itd take for special effects, costuming, makeup , writing her in (the writer’s strike is still ongoing mind u) .

[wanderrlust0]

-.-

idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.

[twochipits]

i guess it's apparent to me now that you don't want me in your life anymore. and i get it, it's not out of hostility but one out of love. an act to help us move on.

i tried to stalk your instagram and fb accounts and they were locked. everything is shut off from public eye and i guess the walls have come up now.

it did hit me like sinking on quicksand, because it wasn't sudden that i felt the pain. right now, it just numbs you.

i still think about you everyday aldrin, and I'm not even kidding. EVERYDAY. i still think about you. in my heart, i need you to come back, and i know I'll take you in an instant. i think that'll be okay. i just lost the love of my life anyways, what harm will it be if u came back? I'd do anything at this point.

but yeah, im dreaming again. u cant have me back in your life anymore. and i guess we'll be both okay.

i still want you in my life though, aldrin. from swinging door to trap door, it's shut but not locked. they're open in case you wanna come back, but j guess deep in my heart i know you wont do that

i guess I'll just keep missing you

[dear-ao3]

spain. or, spain without the s if you are a driver from spain. hello and welcome everyone to the first triple header of the season, and the 1111th formula 1 grand prix. today is june 26, 2024 and lets jump in.

on account of the fact that this is in fact a triple header, we will once again be speed running because if i get behind it is game over for everyone, especially me.

-jumping straight in, in terms of contract news this week we have had none, though there continues to be speculations. so, carlos has still not announced where he is going next year. but he has said that he wants to. during thursdays press conference he said "i dont want to wait any longer, its time to make a decision." thought he did also say that he hasn't figured out where he still wants to and hes still brainstorming with his team about it.

-remember, he also has claimed that every team with an open seat (which would be haas, alpine, sauber, williams, mercedes, rb and maybe even aston) has offered him a contract, but he has accepted none, likely because there isn't one single contract that is giving him everything that he wants in terms of years, money, sponsors, the actual car, etc etc.

-kevin magnussen did sort of throw carlos under the bus a little, saying that he is the "cork in the bottle" of driver contracts right now. it seems like everyone else is waiting for him to make a move before they announce anything themselves, so hence why its been decently dead contract wise this week. kevin did also hint that he might be leaving at the end of the season, but that he doesnt really want to.

-there are rumors that logan has signed with the prema indy car team

-so while there hasn't been contract drama, there definitely has been other drama

-mostly at mercedes?

-merc started the week off strong by getting an anonymous whistle blower email sent to them (at least, to my understanding) that basically said that the team had been purposefully sabotaging lewis's car and pretty much accused george russell of sleeping with toto

-mercedes took this pretty seriously, they denied everything in the email and have reportedly gotten the police involved and are tracing the ip address and all that

-lewis responded as well throwing his support behind george, saying "i think we need support, not negativity. i wasnt aware that george was experiencing negativity. george does nothing but his best every single weekend, and hes developing with the team. so he cant be faulted at all."

-people are also speculating that mercedes got a new instagram admin or just social media admin. if you'll remember, last week they forgot about lewis's sprint podium in china and also merc fans have pointed out that most of the social media posts have been about george since the beginning of the year

-well. mercedes started the week of strong with a post of their best spain moments and most of them were of lewis (because hes been with the team longer) but! the photo dump also included a photo of one valtteri bottas (previous mercedes driver, george russell took his seat in 2022) and one nico rosberg. they also tagged nico. i really couldnt tell you the last time the merc account posted a picture of nico but it definitely wasnt recently

-in case you need a refresher on nico rosberg, he was the 2016 world champion. he beat lewis hamilton in equal machinery that year and then immediately retired after winning the championship. he and lewis were childhood friends, but their friendship (brocedes) did not survive their three year fight for the world championship.

-hilariously, the 2016 spanish gp happened to be one of the climaxes of the brocedes divorce. this is because the two of them crashed into eachother on lap one here. its kind of contested as to whos fault it was but they definitely crashed (this also ended up being max verstappens first win, it was also his first race with red bull)

-reportedly (as in according to nico) toto made them sign a contract after this saying that if they crashed into eahcother again the two of them would have to pay for the damage. also aparently the wrecked side pods are still on display at the merc hq.

-anyway by far the funniest thing to come of this was nico making and editing this video himself, years later, on his youtube channel about the spanish gp track:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by F1 Grand Slam (@f1grandslam)

-what does this have to do with anything? well nothing really other than that its important f1 lore

-also. lewis hamilton ran a love is love helmet at least during practice and qualifying this weekend. it was in a slightly more yellow shade of yellow than his usual helmet. it happened though to be pretty much the exact same shade of yellow that nico's helmet used to be (before he changed it to black to cut down on weight)

-and where was nico rosberg during this weekend? well he wasnt in the paddock, ill tell you that. we'll reveal where he was later

-moving away from mercedes, lando was also being a menace (and a pickpocket) as per usual

-lando and oscar also showed up in the most confusing outfits known to mankind. what the fuck was the weather? no one knows not even them

-oscar also posted pictures and a video of him absolutely failing at playing paddle. probably proving alex and logan correct that he sucks

-lando collected a hat and sunglasses during a fan stage that fans made for him and absolutely slayed the moment

-lando also continued with the calling oscar strange nicknames by calling him "osco"

-stake as usual had some bonkers ass social media posts. here's one of them

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Stake F1 Team KICK Sauber (@stakef1team)

-there was massive discussion about the growing prices of race tickets at silverstone (england) which is aparently not yet sold out this year. lewis said that "the prices needed to be reevaluated or something similar, i cant exactly find the quote. "we have to watch ticket prices. i think theyre continuing to rise and the cost of living nowadays, i think its too high. im just thinking from the perspective of a fan that would come with a family. its hugely expensive." they also asked max if he thought red bull dominance was causing people to not buy tickets and he said "i dont think its my fault. the current f1 season is very exciting with multiple teams fighting for wind recently. if a promoter cannot cover all the seats, maybe they need to first look a themselves and see what they are doing wrong. in other places they are managing to fill the stands quite easily."

-haas is involved in a court case with their previous sponsor uralkali. this was the sponsor that they dropped at the beginning of 2022 after it couldnt be proven that they weren't funding the Ukrainian war on the side of the russians. aparently haas owes them money

-david coulthard made fun of logans parking job

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Daily F1 Memes (@theformulameme)

-charles was one of the olympic torchbearers in monaco

-charles also said in a video for ferrari that yes, he did adopt oscar. oscar did not attempt to get adopted by any drivers for the spanish gp.

-and entirely unrelated but danica patrick, one of the sky sports announcers that is generally disliked because among other reasons, she is against women being in motorsports despite the fact that she herself is an ex driver and champion, posted a video on her YouTube channel about the existence of lizard people

-moving on to actual racing

-logan sargeant finally had all the same parts on his car as alex albon, however whether or not those parts worked the same was debated

-vcarb brought an update. this would prove to be a flop.

-f1 tested this graphic

-lance stroll said that adrian newey should go to aston, the newey to ferrari rumors still persist

-and, most interestingly, flavio briatore is back

-who is flavio? well

-if you remember several updates ago i talked about the 2008 singapore grand prix, which was infamous for many reasons but the main one being that Renault and specifically briatore (who was the team principal at the time) were found guilty of race fixing

-essentially, fernando alonso, one of the Renault drivers, had qualified around i think p15 and pitted on lap 14. right after that briatore instructed his other driver, nelson piquet jr, to crash on purpose. this caused a safety car that benefitted fernando immensely because all the other teams pitted and he stayed out cause he was already on fresher tires

-this is also where Filipe massa had an unsafe release from the ferrari pit because the gas hose was still attached to his car, this later would cost him the world champion title and he sued this year over this very race

-this was all discovered because in 2009 piquet jr got fired by renault for underperforming mid season and made a statement to the fia about what had happened at the 2008 singapore race, which sparked an investigation which revealed that briatore had in fact fixed the race bu asking piquet jr to crash. piquet jr agreed because he was in pretty intense contract talks with briatore and wanted to keep his seat

-anyway, all this resulted in briatore getting a life ban from f1, which as later reduced to 15 years. those 15 years are now up. and he was back in the alpine garage this weekend. in ter est ing

-with all that. practice.

-ollie bearman raced in practice 1 for haas. i didnt watch it but i think he did fine. were still waiting on his haas contract to be announced cause it seems very likely.

-charles and lance both committed some war crimes in fp3. charles pretty much boinked into lando and i think that lance impeded someone. cant remember who. its not in my notes for some reason. either way, both only got off with warnings, no penalties. later on, karun said that charles was "as angry as a mosquito in a mannequin store" after getting impeded during practice. he also called i believe it was lando a "fucker" over the radio.

-before qualifying there was a disaster in the mclaren garage in the form of a fire. everyone was fine but lando did come out of the garage in only his no show socks

-lando said that before qualifying he ended up taking over zak browns office instead of his own drivers room because of the fire and said that many people offered to let him into their motorhomes instead

-qualifying was tight. there was a seven way battle for pole: max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, george and lewis. that's right, mercedes still seemed to have their shit together and was battling it out at the front. and ferrari seemed to have put their shit back together after their disappointing canada race. checo had a three place grid penalty from the crash in canada, so he was out of the pole running.

-qualifying in spain is very important because of the 33 races that there have been here, 24 have been won from pole and 30 have been won from the front row.

-and from q1 qualifying was certainly tight. yuki, who ended up out in p16, was only .8 off of pole. and he was out in q1.

-also out was magnussen, ricciardo, albon and sargeant. williams were expecting to to badly tough, vcarb was not because they had brought an upgrade (which clearly flopped. lets remember that danny rics qualified p5 in canada)

-logan also impeded lance, charging his battery while on the racing line. he got a three place grid penalty, and was already starting 20th so he sarted....20th.

-q2 went about the same. it was tight. verstappen, hamilton, norris, russell and sainz all ended within .2 of eachother.

-out in q2 was alonso, bottas, hulkenberg, stroll and zhou. this was actually zhou's first time getting into q2 in a race qualifying.

-which left us with verstappen, perez, sainz, lecelrc, norris, piastri, hamilton, russell and *checks notes* gasly and ocon ??? in q3??? hello alpine what are you doing here???

-alpine aparently though, clearly, had gotten their shit at least slightly together.

-this was where they started to say that the mclaren was faster than the red bull. but not if max verstappen had anything to say about it.

-with two minutes left in qualifying, these were the times:

-max verstappen was on provisional pole with a 1:11.673. lando norris was 0.123 behind him in p2, then lewis hamilton 0.143 behind him in p3. george russell was next in p4, 0.167 seconds behind lewis, and sainz was 0.242 behind george in p5. charles was 0.226 behind carlos in p6, pierre was 1.180 seconds behind charles in p7, ocon was 1.372 seconds behind pierre in p8, checo was 1.388 seconds behind esteban in p9. and oscar was in p10 with no lap time set because his had been deleted.

-everyone had one more, blistering lap. and boy did it shake things up.

-lando was able to find more time and overtook max for pole position! the second of his career! he got pole by 2 hundredths of a second!

-the standings were:

-lando with a 1:11.383 -max +.020 -lewis +.318 -george +.320 -charles +.348 -carlos +.353 -pierre +.474 -checo +.678 -eseteban +.742 -oscar, no time set for track limits again

-and so we had a lando pole, a max p2 and a lewis p3

-strangely, lando was not really super pleased seemingly about the fact that he was on pole?? and he and max had a regular gossip session right after while they were still taking their helmets off

-this was, by the way, the first time mclaren had started on pole in spain since kimi raikkonen in 2005, which was on ollie bearmans literal and actual birthday

-in his post interview lando said that he did "pretty much a perfect lap....my best pole position.....i havent had many" (hes had one)

-max was asked how he feels now that hes not getting "easy poles" and he said "they were never easy poles, its always a battle with yourself, but now there are more teams (battling) which is good for f1" nobody wants the max verstappen dominance to end more than max verstappen lol

-and lewis! was back! he said, predictably "im really happy....its down to everyone back at the factory" and he ALSO said "george did a great job today as well" absolutely quashing the lover boy rumors

-in the press conference lewis, first of all had time to change before the press conference and second told everyone that he had "missed this sofa" he also took a selfie with lando and max while lando was mid sentence

-and the race.

-oh boy the race

-"dont blink for the next 66 laps ladies and gentlemen" crofty said. and crofty was correct because george russell stormed down the front at the start, knocking everyone's socks off and taking the lead from p4!

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-this really bongled things for our friends max and lando who had been fighting eachother and thus, loosing time. this would come back to haunt them, especially lando, later

-george's lead though was short lived because max was within DRS of him, giving him an extra 18kph of speed and over his radio, gp told him "this might be our best opportunity" and before lap three was over max was back in front of george and by lap 4 he was already 1 second ahead of george, and thus, out of drs range

-it was shaping up for a very sexy canada two, electric boogaloo between max, lando, and the two mercedes

-menawhile, the ferraris were doing what ferraris do best. fighting.

-the two of them touched briefly when carlos was passing charles around the outside. charles took this as carlos leaving the track and gaining an advantage and they fought about it over the radio

-"ah, he closed on me, carlos" charles said

-"he touched me, we collided and he pushed me off. he touched my rear right so i was clearly ahead" carlos said

-the two of them really ripped into eachother about this post race in the media pen, with charles saying "i understand its his home race ...so i guess he wanted to do something spectacular but i was probably not the right person to do that with." apparently he also said that they were supposed to save their tires but carlos didnt and overtook him and kind of screwed over the strategy. and carlos said "too many times after the race he complains about something"

-but thats neither here nor there

-by lap 8 the top 6 were all separated by 5.5 seconds. the undercut on this track is insane and almost two seconds. so it was a game of Who Will Pit First. which was about to be a fun game cause they were all on soft tires.

-someone who was not in the top 6 was fernando alonso. and he was "having a pretty miserable time so far" because he was about to get undercut by kevin magnussen. rather disappointing for him at his home race.

-also having a miserable time was nico hulkenberg, who was down in 11th. "he rather likes an 11th place finish" crofty said. "which is just disappointing."

-also disappointing was whatever mclaren was doing. lando and george were running third and fourth. lando could have undercut george. george could have undercut lando. but neither of them pitted. checo pitted though, for another set of soft tires. which was also interesting.

-lando even had a fake out radio saying that they were going to pit him to get george to pit. and it worked. george had a bad pit stop (5.3 seconds in the pit box) on lap 16 and ended ip coming out right behind carlos sainz, further down the order

-meanwhile, Kevin magnussen got a time penalty for a false start. no one was surprised.

-but george was stuck battling carlos now to work his way back up the order, and had lost whatever benefit a new set of tires was going to give him. this was great news for both lando and lewis.

-lewis pitted on lap 17 and had a much smoother pit stop, only 2.3 seconds in the box and he came out in 9th, immediately passing fernando alonso for 8th

-max also pitted on lap 18, and had 1.9 seconds in the box, tying red bulls fastest pit time for the season so far, he came out fourth

-lando was back in the lead, but he was on old soft tires.

-on lap 19 the top 10 were lando, charles, oscar, max, george, carlos, lewis, Fernando, pierre and esteban, though the top three still needed to pit

-lewis was battling with carlos for 6th and after almost touching him, he was able to pass him on lap 20

-"he touched me!" carlos yelled over the radio, loudly expressing his opinion that lewis gained an advantage and should let him by

-lewis did not give him the place back. he also got fastest lap.

-meanwhile, lando was still not pitting, he was trying to go long to beat max in terms of tire age. a one stop was definitely not ideal, but he could be trying for it.

-"any news?" carlos asked on lap 22 about lewis giving him the position back. there was no news. the stewards ruled it as no further action "i dont know why there is rule book if we do not follow it" carlos said, frustrated

-lando was still out on his old soft tires. oscar had already pitted and he was the last mclaren standing on his softs. max was only lapping .6 faster than he was, and he was on brand new tires. the mclaren was the fastest car on track, but red bull had max

-lando finally pitted on lap 23, 2.3 seconds in the pit box, and he came out in 6th. he had extended 6 laps longer than max had, hoping that this would give him an advantage in the end. should this happen, he would be overtaking max for the win at the very end and would need to pit again for softs to do so. he was presently 11.5 seconds behind max

-lando was determined. he set the fastest lap on lap 26 and by lap 27 the gap to max was down to 9 seconds. he was also lapping faster than max

-max also was having problems with his tires "the tires are very inconsistent!" he complained

-while all that was happening, lewis hamilton was holding his own. though mercedes was not really working as a team. on lap 31 george was running in second, and lewis was 1.2 seconds behind him. lando was coming up on lewis. crofty speculated live on air why didnt george just drop back a tad to give lewis the DRS to stay ahead of lando?? but alas, mercedes didnt do that. lewis was overtaken by lando on lap 32

-by lap 36, lando and george were in an overtake battle for second. lando ended up winning the battle. crofty wanted to call it the old switcheroo, but he didnt want to upset people

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-george ended up pitting the lap after, for hards. which was weird and interesting because pretty much no one was on hards. and this turned out to be a bad idea all around

-"this tire does not feel good," george said, predictably on lap 43. "im sliding around already"

-this was great information for all the other teams to Not put their drivers on hards, including sir lewis hamilton, who went onto softs at his pit stop on lap 44. it was at this moment that everyone realized that the mercedes strategy was probably going to favor lewis

-checo, meanwhile, continued to baffle everyone with what was aparently a 3 stop, very far down the order and definitely not helping max at all

-the second round of pit stops had thus begun. max was called in on lap 43 for a set of softs, and was in the pit box for 2.8seconds. he came out third

-lando was 11.7 seconds ahead on the track and said that he was faster than lewis behind him. the team asked him if he wanted to pit. he said "im unsure, are we here to finish first or third?"

-still, they pitted him on lap 48 and it was a slow 3.6 second stop. he needed to come out ahead of lewis in 5th and george in 4th to have any shot at victory. he came out ahead of george just barely. he had 8 seconds to max

-so it was lap 49. max was in the lead, 7.7 seconds ahead of lando who was 1.7 ahead of george who was 0.691 ahead of lewis who was 3.4 seconds ahead of carlos who was 7.4 seconds ahead of charles who was 7.61 seconds ahead of checo who was 4.991 seconds ahead of oscar who was 5.980 seconds ahead of pierre

-meanwhile, nico hulkenberg got a penalty for speeding in the pit lane, lando was pushing hard and not saving his tires, lewis hamilton had DRS on george with no team orders to stay behind him, and yuki also got a 5 second penalty for speeding in the pit lane

-charles also decided to pass carlos for fifth on lap 55.

-lap 58 and lando was now 5 seconds behind max. but he was running out of tires.

-the announcers decided that this would be a good time to talk about driver of the day, who was shaping up to be lando. "what do they get for driver of the day? a hat or something?" crofty asked "love and adoration" karun said. unless of course you are lando norris, he got a trophy made for him by oscar, and he promptly broke it

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-alex albon, who i definitely didnt forget about, he just wasnt doing anything interesting, ran off the track and into the gravel on lap 61. he was displeased

-"what the hell was that?" he asked. "all ok from our side" his engineer said. "no," alex said. "dont say that." cars should not just randomly drive off the track

-up way back at the front, lando had indeed run out of tires and did not have enough to pass max on the last lap. there would be no last lap lando. had he had a better start though, he would have absolutely gotten max

-so they crossed the line: max, lando, lewis, george, charles, carlos, oscar, checo, pierre, esteban, nico, fernando, zhou, lance, danny rics, valtteri, kevin, alex, yuki and logan

-lando was understandably upset. he knew that he had bongled the start and had he not bongled the start he would have won. he was so upset in fact that he did not do his signature champagne pop on the podium.

-max though was pleased with his win because he had to fight for it.

-"what's two seconds between friends?" david coulthard asked him "well its the difference between first and second"

-but the man that we were all here for, was sir lewis hamilton

-"and finally, ladies and gnetlemen welcome back to the podium lewis hamilton!" david said

-lewis was beyond pleased

-george even came over and congratulated him

-are merc really sabotaging lewis's car? idk you tell me!

-they tried to give lewis the wrong trophy on the podium

-and then he got absolutely soaked with champage by max and lando

-while all of that was happening, bottas had a front row seat to whatever absolute ferrari drama was happening in the pit lane

-it was not unlike the time in 2018 (??) when max nearly punched ocon in the garage after he fucked up his race

-in the post race show will and jack doohan talked about a lot of things, but mostly alpine because alpine scored double points this weekend, insanely. and also managed to pull ahead of haas in the champion standings

-will buxton told jack, the alpine reserve driver "im not being rude, but you were nowhere" at the beginning of the year and highlighted jack's work on the sim, and even hinted about him getting a seat for 2025

-he also posted this on his instagram story after the race

-both esteban and pierre were teased with the results, especially because alpine was aparently the fourth fastest car

-fernando alonso was totally and wholly unbothered. he was wearing sunglasses and scootering around, not a single flying fuck to be given to anyone anywhere

-also notably, two weekends in a row, mclaren has had the fastest car and two weekends in a row, max has won. will and others attributed this to the fact that the mclaren team often ask lando his opinion in the car and maybe they shouldn't ask the driver and just go abut their strategy. hm. interesting.

-then we had a smash cut to the press conference. which was essentially "lewis hamilton living his best life at the moment"

-the silliest part of this whole thing though was that lewis managed to get to the cooldown room about five minutes before everyone else, had clearly showered, changed, put on platform loafers, probably done his skincare routine and had time to make tea. "i am going to take a nap" he announced loudly to everyone. and then laid down, put his sunglasses on and blased some bob marley. this was the state that max found him in

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-an absolutely unbothered king. a legend.

-and where, pray tell, was nico rosberg during all of this? cause he was not in spain and he was definitely not commenting on lewis's first podium of the season or his continued record breaking streak of being on the podium in every season he has raced in, which is 18 years

-he was at the eras tour in london with his wife and kids, doing his god given girl dad duties

-idk why he wore a button down shirt, but he did. he also said that:

and

-britney lives on

-oh how the times have changed since spain 2016.

-see you all in austria!

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me