#just in case anyone else had this exact thought and wanted to know

[aquaticmercy]

Waste a Moment / Part 15

Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.

Requested by :  @remoony

Word count : 2.7k

Note : I have a lot on my inbox and I haven’t been replying a lot lately, but I will go through them tomorrow! Please let me know if I miss anyone on the tags! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

“Name a Price”

Tuesday.

You had said it all—every bitter feeling, every thread of anger that festered so deep inside you that you barely knew where you ended and it began. Alex hadn’t interrupted, hadn’t even shifted in her seat.

She just sat there beside you, listening like she did the first time.

Not as someone who pitied you— but as a friend.

For a while, she didn’t say anything. 

You stared at the glass case in front of you, the one holding Bucky’s war uniform— a symbol of his past that he was still piecing together.

You began to wonder if he’d been someone else back then— someone untouched by Hydra’s corruption. 

But you knew better. That uniform belonged to a man already carrying scars from war you couldn’t begin to fathom. Hydra just amplified it, took advantage of it, added to it.

“I’m not defending Bucky,” Alex finally spoke, “But let me ask you something—hypothetically. If you were still with him, and he somehow forgot all about his Winter Soldier days, would you remind him?”

What?

You turned to her sharply, mouth agape with shock. “That’s not fair.”

“I’m not trying to be fair,” she replied calmly, “it was just a hypothetical question.”

Your hands clenched into fists in your lap. “But that’s neither here nor there,” you muttered, looking away.

“Is it?” Alex pressed, her tone patient but unrelenting. “The only difference I see is scale.”

Her words lingered in your brain like a disease spreading. You wanted to snap at her, to tell her it wasn’t the same thing at all, but… wasn’t it?

“Well,” you said, your voice faltering a little, your conviction a little less absolute. “It’s not the same,” you insisted. “It’s a painful memory for him, and he wouldn’t know how to process it. I wouldn’t want to…”

Your voice trailed off, realising your answer.

The truth— the truth was that you wouldn’t tell him. 

You wouldn’t tell him because you couldn’t bear to see the pain, to see the humanity ripped away again. You wouldn’t be able to look at the way it would twist his beautiful blue eyes and pull him back into the darkness he’d spent so long trying to climb out of. You wouldn’t tell him because you didn’t think you could survive watching him rip himself apart, questioning his very existence, his place in the world.

But was that fair? Could you make that choice for him?

Alex’s voice cut through your spiralling thoughts. “Doesn’t he deserve to know the truth?”

You flinched, feeling the words hit like a punch. 

“It wouldn’t be my place to give it to him,” you said, your tone harsher than you intended— like it was your last line of defence. 

“So you’d be complicit,” Alex said bluntly.

That word stunned you. It froze you in place.

Complicit.

You felt your chest tighten, your breath stopping for a split second. 

Complicit. 

Like Yelena.

The realisation struck you like a punch to the gut. 

Even as you tried to tend to the wounds, you still held a grudge against Yelena for what she’d done, for keeping the truth from you. You hated the way she had looked at you with pity in her eyes. You hated that she’d known all along. You hated that she knew when the truth came out, it would destroy you. 

But now, you realised, if you were in Yelena’s shoes, wouldn’t you have done the exact same thing?

“And how do you think he’d feel if he found out the way you did?” Alex continued quietly.

You swallowed hard, but the lump in your throat wouldn’t go away. 

You didn’t have to imagine it. You already knew— you knew exactly how he’d feel.

He’d feel like the ground had been ripped out from under him, like the air had been stolen from his lungs. He’d feel betrayed. Hurt. 

Like his entire world was a lie.

Just like you had.

You loved Alex— she was your friend— but you hated how exposed you felt, how easily her words broke down the walls you've built around yourself.

“It’s not that simple,” you said, your voice breaking.

“I know,” Alex replied, she put her hand on yours, trying to keep you steady. “But I think… Bucky did what he did out of love. It doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t make it wrong either. It makes it human.”

“So what?” You almost snapped if not for the stray sob that escaped your mouth. “I’m just supposed to forgive him? Pretend like it’s all okay because he meant well?”

“No,” Alex said firmly. “You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to hurt.” She paused, her eyes holding yours. “But ask yourself this: what’s holding on to this anger costing you?”

You knew exactly what it cost you: it cost you your happiness, and his.

—

When you stepped into your apartment, you saw him.

Bucky stood in the kitchen, his back turned to you, shoulders tense he moved around the stove. The soft clatter of utensils and the low hiss of simmering liquor on the burner made your apartment feel like him. 

The scent was rich, warm, and familiar. It was your favourite dish. 

On the table nearby, your clear vase was now home to a bouquet of flowers, your favourite flowers— the ones he always teased you about loving because they never lasted long. You’d playfully huff, telling him it bloomed so beautifully in the short time it had lived. 

They were arranged with painstaking care—one you knew Bucky was capable of. The petals were flawless, the colours vibrant, as if he’d combed through hundreds of blooms to find the most perfect ones.  

“Hey,” he said softly. He turned to face you, his movements careful, as if afraid to shatter the fragile truce between you. 

When his eyes found yours, a tentative smile curved his lips. His voice was different— gentle, stripped of the defensive edge you had expected.

Your breath hitched.

You’d imagined this moment countless times while you were laying in the hospital bed. 

In some versions, your fury took centre stage, unleashed on him like a storm. In others, the anger had dulled, leaving only an all- consuming sadness, refusing to acknowledge he existed all together. 

You had breached for him to plead, to beg. But this? This peace, this tenderness—it wasn’t what you’d prepared for. 

“Hi,” you managed to say, your voice barely more than a whisper. It felt heavy, like the first crack in a dam threatening to spill. You closed the door behind you, and walked to the dinner table, sitting down before your knees gave out.

Bucky turned back to the stove, setting the spoon down, giving himself a moment to gather his thoughts. He wiped his hands on a towel before walking over to the table. 

His movements were careful, like a man walking a tightrope. “I didn’t want you to come back to… an empty home. Not again,” he murmured, his hand raking through his hair, as it always did when he was anxious. “So I thought I’d, uh, take care of the place. Until you came back. If you came back.”

You stared at him, then at his careful effort he’d put into making the apartment feel welcoming. After all this time, your home didn’t feel yours anymore— not entirely.. It felt like it belonged to both of you. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” you said finally, your voice trembling. 

“I know,” he said, his voice barely holding steady. His eyes met yours, and for the first time since the hospital, there was no mask, no shield. No defences raised, no excuses. “But I wanted to.”

The vulnerability in his eyes was an invitation, not a deflection.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” he said, breaking the moment as he turned back to the stove.

You nodded, fingers brushing over the soft petals of the flowers. Questions swirled in your mind—so many questions, accusations, words you’d rehearsed over and over. But you didn’t say any of them. Instead, you let him take care of you as you once did— you let him finish dinner.  

When he finally brought the plates over, he sat across from you, his hands resting on his knees like he was bracing for impact. You stared at the food, then at him.

“Thank you,” you said. Picking up your fork felt… comforting. It felt like home.

“I can go,” he said suddenly, almost panicked. “I’ll do the dishes and leave.”

“No,” you said quickly, the word surprising even yourself. Your chest tightened as you recalled your conversation with Alex, her reminder that he was human, a reminder that healing could only start if you accepted that he could make mistakes. You set your fork down and met his eyes. “I’m ready to talk.”

Bucky hesitated, his fingers tracing anxious patterns along the table. His muscles tightened, his eyes fixed downward as if the weight of what he was about to say could shatter everything between you. “I don’t… I don’t know where to start.”

You swallowed, the lump forming in your throat. You forced yourself to breathe through it. 

The thought of finally hearing him out was terrifying, but you knew you owed it to yourself. “I don’t care where you start,” you said gently.

His hand stilled in a grip that held the table’s edge a little too tightly. “I know you know I wasn’t always this w-way. This perfect person you’ve known these past few months… I’ve always wanted to be him, for you.”

His words hit you like a wave, the sincerity pulling at your heartstrings. 

“I never needed you to be perfect, Bucky,” you said, the tremble in your tone almost taking over, “I just needed you to be honest.”

He lifted his gaze then, his eyes clouded with regret, pain, and mostly— shame. “How could I?” He murmured, his voice cracking, “For so long, I thought I was protecting you by keeping parts of myself locked away. By being… distant. I thought that if I didn’t let you get too close, you’d be better off. Safer. I didn’t… I didn’t know how t-to justify this change.”

“But why?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended. “Why did you think I couldn’t handle it? Why didn’t you trust me enough to let me in?”

He flinched at your tone, his shoulders dropping as if the question had drained him. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking before answering. “Because I didn’t think I deserved you.” He looked at you then, his eyes so full of pain. “I told myself you deserved someone whole, someone who wasn’t… broken. And I thought that if I kept my distance, you would hate me. But you didn’t. Not until… not until now.”

But he was wrong. You didn’t hate him— you never could. You hated that he lied, But him? No, you could never bring yourself to hate him.

“So you pushed me away,” you said quietly, a confirmation of what you knew all along.

He nodded, lI thought I could keep my distance and pretend like it was for the best. But every time I was around you, I felt this… like I couldn’t breathe.”

There it was again. 

He couldn’t breathe around you, he admitted time and again. But not because he hated you. Not because he found your presence suffocating.

It was because you were so damn precious to him that the very thought of sharing the same air as you felt like a privilege he hadn’t earned.

“Instead of facing it,” he continued, “I built a wall around myself.”

Today, his words weren’t excuses; they were admissions. Every letter felt like it cost him a piece of himself.

“I know I hurt you,” he said, his voice breaking. “And I know I can’t undo that. But when you lost your memory… I don’t know. It felt like I had this chance to—to start over. To be the man you deserved. To show you the kind of love I’ve always wanted to give you.”

You blinked back tears. It was like piecing together the puzzle of your past, one fragment of pain at a time. “But you didn’t think to tell me?” you asked, “You didn’t think I deserved to know?”

A pang guilt crossed his face, his mouth falling into a frown. “I should have,” he admitted, “I should’ve told you everything from the start. But I was so scared that if you knew, you’d see the worst of me. That you’d hate me for it. And losing you… I couldn’t handle... couldn’t think….”

You wanted to yell at him, to tell him how much his silence had hurt you, how it had made you question everything. But you also understood, in a way that only love could explain. Alex’s little thought experiment made you connect to his fear— the paralysing fear of losing that meant so much to you. 

“I’m not going to pretend this doesn’t hurt,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears welling in your eyes. “I can’t go back to the way things were before, Bucky. No more lies, no more walls. If we’re going to try this— I need to know all of you. The good, the bad, the broken. All of it.”

His eyes widened.

A second chance—after everything he’d hidden from you? 

It seemed impossible— yet here you were, offering it to him.

He hesitated, then reached for your hand, still not believing that he deserved your touch.

When his trembling fingers brushed against yours, you didn’t pull away. Instead, you turned your hand, weaving your fingers through his.

“I promise,” he said, “I’ll be better. I’ll be honest. No more walls, no more hiding.”

His fingers tightened around yours, afraid you might still let go, afraid you might change your mind. 

But you held on, your grip firm “I don’t need you to be perfect,” you repeated. “I just need you to be honest. I need you to let me in.”

His breath faltered, and for a moment, he looked at you like you were the only thing that could keep him tethered to this earth. “I’ll let you in,” his voice broke. “I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that you made the right choice.”

As you sat there holding his hand, you felt the presence of something stronger than fear—hope.

“Can I kiss you?” He finally asked

Your heartbeat quickened, your chest tightening at the sincerity in his request. 

For a moment, you saw it—the life you both wanted, the way it could feel so right, so safe, in his arms. And yet, the cracks of what you’d been through together were still there. The answer that rose within you wasn’t what you’d expected, but it was clear.

“No.”

The word left your lips gently, but firmly. His thumb froze against your skin, his body tensing. The faintest flicker of hurt crossed his eyes. 

He opened his mouth to apologise, but before he could, you interrupted him.

“I’m not saying no forever,” you said, “But I want to take things slow. I need to trust that this—whatever we’re building now—isn’t just us rushing to cover up the hurt. I need to know it’s real.”

For a moment, he just looked at you. Slowly, his shoulders relaxed. A small, almost shy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “We’ll go as slow as you need,” he said.

He leaned back slightly, letting his fingers slip from yours.

There was no more resentment, no bitterness— only understanding. 

The two of you continued eating in silence, exchanging glances that lingered just a little longer than usual, small, subtle smiles that promised a fragile piece. Each moment felt like a step forward, like a rebuilding of trust, brick by brick, piece by piece.

When the meal was over, he stood to clear the dishes. As he walked past your chair, he paused. His fingers brushed against your shoulder, a fleeting touch. It wasn’t possessive or pleading anymore. Instead, it was a quiet reminder. I’m here. I’m staying. I’m not going to hide anymore.

And for the first time, you truly believed him. Not because he’d said the right thing, not because he was perfect. But because he was trying. 

Because he was human, and he finally saw himself that way. 

-To be continued…

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[blackcatxmagic]

Copper was beginning to feel awkward about sharing so much. While Dorothy appeared appreciative and receptive to what he was saying, and while Copper had no reason to doubt her (not by what he knew of her or by her body language in this moment), there was a part of him that worried that she was just being nice. And besides, there were things that Copper wasn't comfortable talking about with anyone, especially people he barely knew. Still, if it helped Dorothy at all, then Copper was glad to have shared what he did. "It's kind of a complicated feeling, isn't it? When you feel sad about someone you barely knew," Copper said. "It's like...well, for me at least, it's like I wonder if I'm even allowed to feel that way." In the case of the guy he knew back at Brown, Copper had kept thinking about the people who'd been really close to him, his friends and family, how it felt like he was taking some of their mourning from them, and that hadn't sat well with him. But Copper had also not been sure how to not feel that way. He didn't say all of this to Dorothy now, but he did reiterate, "Yeah...it's definitely complicated."

Even though he had settled down a little bit, Copper still felt really worked up by the knowledge that they'd both experienced the same thing. "You know," he said, "there was a part of me that thought I just imagined the newspaper changing. It had been so quick, and I've been under a lot of stress, so I thought maybe it was like...me cracking a little bit. Now I realize that would have been a better alternative." It was startling to realize that not only had he not imagined it but that it had happened to at least one other person. "Do you think it means something that it said the same thing to both of us? And do you think it happened to anyone else?" Copper hadn't talked about this yet, not really, and he now wondered if it had been happening all over town. "And you know," he went on, "it's like it knew exactly what to say to me to freak me the hell out too." Because Copper was hiding something, the fact that whoever had done this knew that scared the shit out of him. He wondered what they would do with that knowledge.

Clearly Dorothy was just as freaked out as he was, and Copper reached across the table, patting her hand reassuringly. There was some comfort to be had in the knowledge that he wasn't alone in this, and he hoped Dorothy felt the same way. But then Copper sat back in stunned silence at her words. "That exact thing happened to me," he replied quietly, but inside he was screaming because that nightmare had been the most terrifying - and most realistic - of his life. "It was like the without a doubt worst moment of my life only twisted to make even more devastating, and it had felt so real. I...I had to relive that." Copper was surprised the feel something wet on his cheeks, and he realized suddenly that he was crying. Quickly wiping away the few tears that had begun to stream down his cheeks, Copper continued, "I always relive that moment, but this felt different. I have realistic dreams, always have since my abilities began to develop. I think it's an extension of my precognitive powers. But...this felt planted there, like someone had made me dream it." At the time, Copper hadn't fully comprehended that feeling, but with some distance he was able to analyze it more objectively. Looking at Dorothy seriously, Copper asked, "Did anything happen to you during the windstorm too? Like...did you hear anything?" He was almost afraid to know the answer. Taking a deep breath, Copper admitted, "Something happened to me. I heard a voice, one as loud and clear as if someone was speaking directly into my ear. It said - " Abruptly Copper stopped speaking; he realized he didn't want to say what the voice had spoken to him. "It said something that scared the shit out of me," he told Dorothy.

Dorothy sat in silence as Copper spoke, his words sinking deep into her chest. The way he so openly shared his own struggles, his own feelings, made her feel both understood and less alone. She hadn’t expected him to know exactly what she meant about Avalon and the odd, unsettling feeling that had settled over the town, but somehow, it seemed like they were on the same page. It was always hard for Dorothy to speak about certain aspects in her life, such as loss, but Copper made her feel like she was in the right place to do so. Naturally, Dorothy still wouldn't be sharing it all with him, but no matter how much she did decide to share, she sat in stunned appreciation over it. "There's no need to apologise," Dorothy smiled a small smile. "I appreciate you sharing that with me."

At the revelation that they had both experienced the same chilling change to the newspaper, Dorothy's face fell pale and horrified. Her stomach twisted itself into uncomfortable knots, and the fear that had been quietly lurking in the pit of her stomach began to radiate throughout her entirety. "We know what you're hiding," she repeated, the words coming out in a low whisper, as though speaking them too loud would make them even more real. "It said the exact same thing when I was reading it - it was completely normal to begin with, and changed back instantly after I saw it but... it said the same thing... I thought they might have..." Deep in thought, Dorothy trailed off. She had completely believed that somebody had been after her truth, that they knew what she was hiding; why else would they have targeted her right under the article about Avalon? But if Copper had seen the same thing, then that didn't entirely make sense.

Her fingers curled around the edge of the table, knuckles white as she tried to steady herself. "The night of the storm," strangely enough, Dorothy's eyes prickled with tears; her emotions had well and truly caught up with her, and the addition of connecting her own experiences with Copper's was only overwhelming her more. "I had the most terrible nightmare, too," her words felt heavy, like they contained a tangible weight of the most frightening truth behind them. "God..."

[rileylastname]

for those of you who don’t have the npmd digital ticket, the ones in High School is Killing Me who do the howls during “I’ve been thrown to the wolves of the community— *awoos!*” bit are Bryce, Jon, and Curt, in that order

[fingertipsmp3]

Gotta love those realisations that cause you to stand stock-still in your bathroom and take a long shuddering breath

[estaticheart]

ᥫ᭡. THAT’S MY SISTER YOU BITCH

Summary: Despite Sarah and Rafe’s volatile relationship, that’s your sister.

Warnings: Violence, illusions to sex, swearing.

You had a great day so far. You'd woken up to Rafe in between your legs, waking you up in the best way possible before he made you both breakfast as you watched him from the island. Sometimes you just liked to ponder on how lucky you were to have a boyfriend like Rafe. To everyone else, you were far from lucky but you liked it that way- knowing only you got the real Rafe Cameron.

Now, you were on your way back from grocery shopping, planning to make Rafe a romantic meal when he arrived back from work. Blasting music from your car speakers, you were completely in the zone. Until you drove up to the City Hall, glancing ahead you saw Kelce's red truck, which you thought nothing of until you saw him and his idiotic friends surrounding John B and Sarah.

Alarmed, you pulled up next to the truck, gathering the attention of everyone. Despite being a kook yourself, you were far different from the rest of them. You didn't care about pogues, to you they were like anyone else, in fact often you preferred the pogues in the Outer Banks to the kooks. Rafe's circle exclusively consisted of kooks, meaning you often received a lot of respect from kooks even though you spent a lot of your time arguing with them. Rafe didn't mind it, you were his girlfriend and lover, so if you wanted to yell he wouldn't stop you.

"Problem?" You asked, slamming your car door shut behind you. Just as Sarah hit the ground. Immediately you rushed towards Sarah. Yeah, Rafe and Sarah had problems they needed to get past but to you, Sarah was still as important as she was 2 years ago. You were proud of her for finding her true love and true friends, and you always let her know that you would always be there for her. And this time was no exception. Putting two and two together, you saw Ruthie standing much closer to Sarah than the other kooks who looked at her in shock.

They all stood stunned at your arrival, to be honest, you were probably the worst possible person to show up at that exact moment. Everyone knew your opinions on the Pogues were far more empathetic than the other kooks. "No, no problem" Kelce muttered, beginning to pull Ruthie and the others back from Sarah and John B, to which they happily obliged. Not on your watch.

"Oh no, don't stop on my accord guys. Please whatever you were going to do next. Do it." Walking over to them, Ruthie stood stunned at your arrival. Since she started dating Topper, you got a lot of joy out of berating her, publically. For once, she didn't back down at your words. "She needs to watch herself. She pushed me first, it was self-defence." Ruthie said, glancing behind you to see John B pulling Sarah to her feet.

Snorting you replied, "Ruthie, I'm not Shoupe. Don't start pleading your case, I don't care." She stalled at your response, for a moment thinking that you were on her side for pushing Sarah before you pulled her back to reality. Walking closer to her, edgingly slow, you pressed, "You think you're all big and mighty for pushing Sarah? She's 19 Ruthie, you're what? 21? Don't you think you should play with someone your own size?"

Behind you, John B and Sarah smirked at the group. Unbeknownst to you, Sarah was pregnant and John B was far too occupied to make sure Sarah was okay than to pick a fight with Kelce and his goons today. But you happily would, and even better so because who was going to fight back against the kook princess? Definitely not these ones.

“Well?” You pushed, as you stood toe to toe with Ruthie. You were growing impatient, Rafe would have finished work by now meaning that soon he’d come looking for you- and you’d rather give Ruthie a good couple punches before Rafe showed up.

“Okay times up.” Before she could even think, your fist sent her backwards onto the floor, just how Sarah had been when when you arrived. Groaning, she lifted her hands to cover her nose, assumably bleeding- hopefully broken if Rafe’s self defence lessons had done some good. “Oh my god- I think you broke my nose. You bitch.” She shrieked, pulling her hands away to reveal blood beginning to pour from her nose.

Ruthie was nothing but a bully, a bully you’d had enough of tormenting the island. Your legs either side of her chest you crouched over her, “Don’t worry you still look just as bad as before.” You muttered as you flew your fist back into her face that she left unguarded. Idiot. Her screaming began again, as you moved off from her, deciding that your two punches had done enough damage. Wow, you’d really have to thank Rafe for those lessons.

“Just wait until Topper hears about this, he will deal with you.” One of the other kooks muttered from behind Kelce. “Yeah I’m sure Topper will be sure to deal with me.” You laughed, Topper wouldn’t touch a hair on your arm as long as you were dating Rafe- everyone knew that.

“You want to fuck with someone, not Sarah.” You spat at them, watching Ruthie sadly pull herself to her feet, with the help of no one. “That’s my sister you bitch. Now fuck off.” At your command, Kelce briskly walked back over to his truck, as the others followed just as fast, allowing you to turn back to John B and Sarah.

You were greeted to their smiling faces, both as grateful as each other. But you noticed, a twinge of emotion still lingering on Sarah’s face. Hearing you call her your sister in combination with her pregnancy hormones, was due to set her off to cry. Before she could get out any words, you spoke for her. “You are my sister regardless of whatever is going on between you and Rafe. You’re family.” Turning to John B, you continued, “That extends to you, hubby.” You winked looking down at the ring on his finger.

With a red blush covering their faces, they praised you in thank yous. “Don’t need to thank me for doing something I’ve been wanting to do for months.” Glancing back to see the red truck had disappeared.

“Now, you can thank me for warning you that Rafe will be here any minute and I’m not sure you want to see him.”

—————————

“Baby, please be more careful next time.” Rafe muttered, as he wrapped your knuckles in bandages. He was more than shocked to find you outside the city hall- alone- but with bloody knuckles. Only with the explanation, that you had an altercation with Ruthie, surprisingly over Sarah. He was confused to say the least, he wasn’t even aware that Ruthie had a problem with his little sister. But the more he thought about it, of course she did- Topper still hadn’t gotten over her.

“In fact, there will be no next time. Ever.” Kissing your knuckles, he pulled you onto his chest as he lied back on your shared king bed. Stroking your hair, he let his mind wonder. Should he have been there to protect Sarah? But they hadn’t had a good relationship in years, he couldn’t just suddenly start caring for her. He also couldn’t let you get into situations that could get you hurt over protecting Sarah.

You noticed his body still and you knew instantly his mind was wondering thinking about Sarah. Without moving your head from his chest you spoke, “Rafe. I love Sarah. I know you have a difficult relationship at the moment and whilst you can’t protect her I will.” Letting the silence sit between you for a moment, you decided to continue.

“She’s our only family, Rafe.” He didn’t move, but you both knew how right you were. She was all you had left. “I know baby, I know.” He whispered, laying a kiss on the top of your head, before he let his mind slip back into imagining how he can rectify this broken relationship with his sister.

[lexirosewrites]

Wealthy omega Steve going on an arranged date each week to the same restaurant because his parents want him to find a mate.

Alpha Eddie who busks in the parking lot for tips and always offers him a cigarette and a shoulder to cry on after it doesn’t work out.

It takes them a while.

“Another one? That’s the third date this week, pretty boy. You going for a record or something?” Eddie asks, already holding his half-finished cigarette out for Steve to take.

He does. It’s his only reward for doing all of this.

Well, that and Eddie.

Eddie makes this easier.

Steve takes a long draw from it, craving the burn of nicotine more than he cares to admit to himself.

He craves Eddie’s company too, but that’s between him and the cigarette.

“Yeah, my parents are working overtime it seems. They’re bound and determined to have me mated off before spring.”

Steve laughs.

Eddie doesn’t.

“They sound awful.”

They are. Their insistence on old-fashioned values and treating their omega son like a burden to be rid of is proof enough.

“They mean well,” he says. “I think.”

Eddie hums thoughtfully. It’s clear that he disagrees.

Steve passes the cigarette back.

The alpha snubs it out on the sidewalk they’re sitting on instead.

“How long are you gonna keep doing this for?”

“Well, as long as it takes to find someone who’s interested, I guess. There’s not an exact timeline or any—”

Eddie startles Steve when he cuts him off with a growl.

He doesn’t look mad, but his forehead creases, deep frown, and sour scent speaks of irritation.

“Not what I meant.”

Oh.

“I don’t know, Eddie. They’re my parents… and it’s not like I’ve got anyone else knocking down my door.”

Even his dates aren’t interested once they’ve met him in person.

Steve always looks good on paper. He’s attractive and from an upstanding family, a decent investment at first glance.

But then he opens his mouth. That’s where their interest always ends.

Sometime between shaking hands and dessert, their eyes get bored and they start checking their watch more. They don’t bother to hide that they’re running out the clock, eager to be away from Steve.

He thought it would hurt less after a while, but it doesn’t.

“How many times are we gonna do this, Stevie?“

And now even Eddie is bored with him. It makes sense. They’ve been meeting up for months and Steve isn’t worth much for stimulating conversation.

It had to end eventually.

“I’m sorry. I— I didn’t realize I was bothering you. I can leave you to your gigging, man. Let me just—”

Steve reaches for his wallet, pulling out a thick wad of bills to shove in Eddie’s guitar case as an apology for taking up his precious time.

Compensation for the therapy.

“Hey, no— that’s not what I meant, baby. I just— ugh, why is this so hard to say?” Eddie groans, grabbing at his own hair in frustration.

Steve hasn’t the faintest idea what’s ailing Eddie. The guy is normally chill 100% of the time. It’s why Steve goes to him for comfort. He’s hard to shake.

“Sorry?” he tries.

“No, I’m sorry! I just can’t sit here for yet another evening and pretend like there are more fish in the sea for you or whatever,” Eddie explains frantically, his eyes begging Steve to understand.

Ouch. Okay. Point made.

Steve is unlovable, got it.

He stands, brushing off his slacks so his shaking hands aren’t as noticeable.

Keep cool. Breathe.

“Understood. I won’t bother you anymore then. I can park across the street next time too. Good luck with everything, Eddie. I’m sure your band will get signed soon, you’re a talented musician.”

Eddie shoots to his feet, almost tripping over his own lanky limbs in the process.

He grabs the sleeve of Steve’s dress shirt, stopping him from leaving.

“Don’t go on anymore dates.”

Jesus.

“Yeah, I got it the first time, thanks. I’m undesirable. Can you stop repeating it?”

Eddie looks like he’s been slapped, but he doesn’t say anything back. The bluntness must have caught him off guard.

Steve sighs, attempting to pull free from the alpha’s grip.

He almost manages it.

But then Eddie snaps back to reality and his eyes go wide for just a split moment before he kisses Steve right on the lips.

It’s unexpected to say the least.

It’s also probably the best kiss of his entire life. Too bad it’s from someone who just told him to quit dating because nobody will ever want to court him.

They finally break apart and Steve sways.

“Eddie… what in the actual hell are you—?”

“I love you! I love you— I’ve been in love with you for months, but you insist on going on all these dates with alphas who have no taste and they keep breaking your heart and leaving me to pick up the pieces, but I don’t want to keep handing them back. I want to keep you, Steve. I want to be the only alpha you go on dates with.”

Steve stops trying to run away.

Instead, he yanks at the collar of Eddie’s shirt, tugging him into another, longer kiss.

This is love, huh? Makes sense.

His lips are warm and so is his heart. Patched up once more and encased in a body other than his own

No more arranged dates.

“That was a ‘yes,’ in case it didn’t translate.”

Eddie’s face is flushed and his happy smile is infectious.

“I don’t have the kind of money your usual dates have, but I had this really cute guy way overtip me earlier. Can I buy you dinner, pretty boy?”

It’s the first of many.

[spencereidluver]

A is for About Time

july 07, 2008

summary: You’re paired up with Spencer on a mostly physiological case… He’s impressed with how many of his obscure references you understand and how you’re able to carry on conversations with him unlike anyone else.

word count: 1.3k

warnings: details of a case: strangulation, blood writing

“y/n and Reid, I need you to stay here at the station while the rest of us go search the area.” Hotch said, handing you and Spencer each a file. “There’s information about the case in here. The PD thinks we’re dealing with someone who is able to outsmart that of the normal man. We need both of your heads on this. Got it?”

You and Spencer both nodded. You were smart, no denying it, but you know he knows everything you know times two.

You’ve only been in the BAU six months, but you’d only need to know Spencer two minutes to know just how intelligent he is. You don’t quite understand why Hotch wants you to stay back on this case with him, but who are you to deny the man.

You and Spencer take the Manila folders and make your ways to the conference room. He does a little jog to catch up with you. “You know, I’ve never had anyone else stay back with me on cases like these.” He says as he slows his step to match yours.

“Yeah, we’ll maybe you’ve never had anyone quite on your level Dr. Reid.” you joke as you pull the glass door open. There’s a bulletin board with photos from the case. You see Spencer grimace at them out of your peripheral. No matter how many cases you go on, this is one thing that will never be easy for anyone in this job.

Spencer sprawls out his folder on the half-circle-shaped wooden table in the center of the small office. The first image is a photo from the crime scene. It’s a white brick wall with blood writing, it reads:

“in this moment, she was mine, mine, fair, perfectly pure and good”

“It’s a poem.” He says. “Porphyria’s Lover.”

You interrupt him, “a mid 1800’s poem written by Robert Browning.”

“You’ve heard of it?”

“A poem in which a beautiful woman’s lover strangles her with her own hair? Yeah I’ve heard of it.”

He flips through a few more pages in the folder. They’re all just copies of what’s on the bulletin. You’re not too sure why you were each given folders containing the same pictures, but I guess consistency is key in this job.

“I never took you as an 1800s poem freak, y/n.” He says with a smile that you can’t quite tell the intention behind.

“Maybe you’re not as many levels ahead of me as you thought, Dr. Reid.”

_____

It’s only day two of the case, but between stupid jokes and bonding over old literature, there’s only one thing you cannot seem to pinpoint the reasoning for. And probably the only way you’ll be able to directly connect to the unsub.

He’s working off a dating app. He searches for women who meet his physical criteria, then stalks them until he’s able to pounce. Smart guy. Very smart guy.

“The one thing I just cannot understand is why if the poem he’s working off of is so keen on blonde hair, why have only half of our victims been blondes?” Spencer says, reading through a print-out of the original poem.

“Maybe the women with brown hair were just more available?” You say, not sure if you believe it.

Spencer takes a sip of his coffee. “No, a man like this would want blondes. He’s working of the exact motive of the poem.”

“And he must have a lot of time with his victims to be able to strangle them with their hair.”

You and Spencer spend hours reading over the poem and investigating that photos. Hotch comes back to the station to bring photos from yet another crime scene. Another blonde. If anything, that takes you further from figuring him out, messing up the blonde-brown-blonde-brown victim order.

“There’s no way he’s picking these victims at random. He’d have to spend far too long watching them to know their work schedule to be able to get into their apartments.” Hotch says. “I need you guys to further analyze the poem. It could have the key and hopefully we can find him before he strikes again.”

You and Spencer spend a further hour and a half looking over and annotating the poem. You’re both about to give up on the poem when you notice something: the rhyme scheme.

“A-B-A-B-B,” you think outloud.

“What?” Spencer is confused.

“The rhyme scheme, Spencer. It’s A-B-A-B-B. Auburn-Blonde-Auburn-Blonde-Blonde. That has to be it!”

“So he’ll go back to the beginning. He’s looking for his next victim with auburn hair, just like Julia Dempsey and Katie Flanagan. Nice catch, y/n. We’ve gotta call Hotch.”

He pulls out his phone and dials the eight digits quickly. He fills in Hotch on the info you find as you email over to Garcia. It’s only a matter of time before Morgan and Hotch move in on the man, Garcia finding him from a simple categorical search of dating profile preferences.

_____

You’re sat on the jet next to Spencer on your way home. You’re going on about old literature and artifacts pertaining to them. No one else understands a word either of you are saying, but they’re rather in awe of how the two of you are able to bounce off each other and carry on about, what to them, is utter nonsense.

It’s late. Early. Well, both. 2:47 AM. You’re leaned with your elbow on the table and your head in your hand looking at Spencer as he recites an old poem from memory. His voice is calm and warm. JJ and Emily are asleep in the booths next to you, Hotch minding his own in the back, and Rossi and Morgan make small talk a little closer to the front.

“y/n?” You hear your name being whispered.

You hum in response, opening your eyes to see a wide-eyed Spencer looking at you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” He says.

“It’s okay. I’m kinda glad you did, my neck would be sore when we land.”

“We’re still three hours from Virginia. Think you can make it that long?”

“Hell no, I’m exhausted.” You cross your arms on the table, laying your head in them as you try to get comfortable.

“That position may feel better on your neck, but it’ll do a number on your back in record time.”

“Well, Spencer, there’s only so much room to work with on this jet.”

“I can move so you can lay in the seat if you’d like. But that could also hurt your neck considering you’ll be lying flat and have no incline.”

“Well then why don’t you tell me the most comfortable position and let me sleep in peace.”

“Studies show the best position for sleeping without a pillow is leaning against a wall or something of an upright nature. But there are no walls to lean up against, so you’re pretty much out of luck there y/n.”

He shifts in his seat, reaching for the blanket behind him. He tosses it at you and settles back down. He sips from his coffee. No wonder he’s not going to sleep, he drinks coffee 15 out of the 24 hours in a day.

You scoot a bit closer to him, wrapping the blanket around yourself. You tip your head forward, groaning. Tiredness overcomes you more than it already has, making it near impossible to even keep your eyes open.

“Hey, Spence…” You look up at him. His head tilts down to meet your gaze, flattening his lips in form of a response. “Can I…” You let your sentence fade out, pushing yourself closer to him.

He softens his voice. “Hmm?”

Before he can even finish his hum your head has slumped on his shoulder and you’re already falling unconscious on him. You feel him reach his arm around you- pulling the blanket up- you assume. He does that, but his arm never leaves. His head flops gently on top of yours, his one unruly waft of hair falling over his face. You could stay like this forever.

“It’s about time those two realize how similar they are.” You hear Rossi’s gravely voice say.

And just like that, you’re asleep, in what is probably the most comfortable you’ve ever been in your life.

_____

next chapter: b is for Boy Genius

other parts: Spencer Reid A-Z Masterlist

view the masterlist in a calendar version! 

_____

a/n: hiii! i really hope you enjoyed the first chapter! chapter 2 will be released tomorrow! sorry if this one was a little boring, i promise the next chapter is more interesting. i'm just trying to set up the story a little before we get into it!

_____

Have Recommendations? visit my recommendations page to submit your suggestion, no matter how big or small!

_____

[honeygrahambitch]

"You're quiet." Will observed while pretending to be busy with smelling the flavour of the wine in his glass.

"Does that bother you?" Hannibal asked, not lifting his eyes from his Ipad. The answer felt slightly confrontational but overall genuine.

"It's just, unlike you."

"If I started speaking, you wouldn't be fond of what's on my mind. Let's not dwell on this anymore, shall we?"

Will's not-yet-husband senses screamed that he was in danger and that he should walk carefully.

"Avoiding the elephant in the room is even more unlike you. The fact that you are not looking at me as well. You usually look at me, Hannibal." Will said, leaning over the table.

Hannibal put his Ipad on the table and obeyed Will's request. He looked at him.

"Wh- What...have you been crying?"

"I often do when I feel powerless. Even more if I feel powerless and left out at the same time." Hannibal confessed.

"May I know what happened?" Will asked and realized his own voice didn't sound as brave as it did in the beginning. Of course the only reason Hannibal would cry for would be frustration.

He is used to things going his way.

Hannibal turned on the Ipad again, did some scrolling and then pushed the Ipad to Will on the table.

Will grabbed it and started reading but stopped after the first few lines of the news article.

"So this has to do with the case I worked on yesterday?"

"It has to do with the way you started negotiating with someone holding a gun to your head after telling the snipers and SWAT teams to drop their weapons."

"I knew he wouldn't press the trigger, he was just a scared boy. I wanted to avoid his death."

"You wanted to avoid his death by having him cause yours? Very smart, Will." Hannibal remarked. Will wanted to say something but Hannibal went on. "Do you remember what he told you when his gun was pressed against your temple? Many articles cited his exact words."

"That he wouldn't cause any harm if he killed me because the Bureau would replace me in a second."

Hannibal nodded. "See, Will, he was right. Jack has lost ponies before, it would take him only a few months before he would find someone smart enough to do his dirty work."

Will decided to say nothing and keep listening.

"And do you remember what you said yesterday after you survived this incident? You came here, you were really satisfied with how it went. You didn't give me any details and I really believed it was just an ordinary day at work. And the reason you didn't give me any detail is because you don't actually care about how close you were to losing your life."

"I had it under control."

"You did not. It was not even your job to negotiate. You told the official negotiator to let you take care of it. While you had a pipe pressed to your temple."

"I am confused. Are you mad because I didn't tell you about this or because I risked my life?"

"I am mad because you made me worry. I have huge faith in you and your resourcefulness and strength. I have hardly ever been worried about you. However this situation...caused me great distress."

"Did you spend the whole night reading all the articles on that?"

"Not the whole night. Half of it. I was busy during the second half."

Will frowned. Then it made sense.

"The guy who almost blew my brains... he was in the kidney pie." He phrased it as a statement and not as a question because he knew he was right.

Hannibal sighed. "I needed some sort of control. After I killed him I realized that I would have done exactly the same thing if he had killed you. Which made me realize I still had zero control over the outcome."

"If he had killed me, the FBI would have killed him before you got a chance to do so."

The thought made Hannibal spiral even more.

"I can't change what happened. But, I am sorry you were worried." Will said as he was observing the dark bags under Hannibal's eyes. A rare sight. "I take it the the articles didn't cite what I told him while he was deciding whether to shoot or not? I wasn't loud enough for anyone else to hear."

"No." Hannibal replied thoughtfully. "What did you tell him?"

"I said that while the Bureau would indeed replace me in a second, I have someone at home who is waiting for me." Will answered. "I told him I mean so much to you that you wouldn't be able to replace me. I told him that I am stupidly in love. I told him that by killing me, he is ruining us both."

Hannibal remained petrified.

Will was in fact aware of how much he meant to him. His confession did not make what he did less stupid but it changed something.

"Is that so?" Hannibal whispered as he reached for the bottle of Cabernet.

"It obviously is. I'm wondering if what you did was in fact more stupid than what I did."

"How so?"

"You read a few articles, you threw a little tantrum because you could not play God, you cried then you went to murder the guy. Then you didn't feel better so you started crying again."

"Rough night." Hannibal commented, a bit amused by the fact that Will had accurately described his night.

"I'm staying here tonight."

"You don't have to, darling." Hannibal said, still reflecting on the lovely things Will had said about him.

"No, I will stay. You might discover what happened today at work and I'm not letting you spiral again."

"What hap-"

"Were you saying you made Tiramisu?"

[fandomfucker]

Jealous-Drew McIntyre X Reader

Request: Drew gets jealous when he sees reader talking to CM Punk backstage

Word count: 1,351

Reader's POV

Yet another Monday night Raw and I was lucky enough to be watching from the comfort of my boyfriend Drew's dressing room. We usually were separated, I was at home with our cat Chaz while he was however far away for work. Tonight's episode, however, was only an hour's drive away from our home so I was able to go to the show and hang out and watch his match. His match wasn't until later on in the night but he was busy doing press stuff for the first hour or so, so I didn't mind watching alone on the TV until he could get back. Two matches into the show, however, my stomach loudly grumbled, letting me know I was starving. And I was craving chocolate chip muffins. Which they just so happened to have in catering. I knew that Drew had requested I stay in the room, for my own safety, but I was hungry and had no idea when he would actually be back. So, I sent him a quick text letting him know where I was going before I grabbed one of his hoodies that was always way too big for me, pulled it on, and exited the room.

I walked down the cold hallway, admiring all the cool artwork on the walls, taking a turn or two before stopping to look around when I realized I'd walked into a dead end. "The fuck?" I mumbled to myself as I turned back around. Drew had walked me past catering earlier when we were going to his dressing room and I could've sworn it was down this hallway. Nevertheless, I made my way back down that hallway and turned to go the opposite way of which I had originally gone. Only to take another couple of turns that I thought were right, only for me to end up at another dead end. A different dead end that I didn't recognize. Now, I was officially lost in this maze of back hallways where everything looked the exact same. I had walked so far in that there wasn't even any artwork anymore, just plain gray walls. Not to mention, there was not a single other soul around me to point me in the right direction because they were all off doing their jobs. Patting my pockets to grab my phone and at the very least, see if I could find a map of the backstage online since Drew wouldn't be able to answer, I found them all to be empty. I let out a small grunt of frustration at the realization that I had accidentally left my phone in the dressing room. Without my phone and entirely by myself, I decided to just keep walking until I either came across another person, got back to Drew's dressing room, or found catering where I would stay put until Drew came and got me. I started walking, keeping aware of my surroundings as not only was it terrifying back here, but also just in case I saw someone. What felt like an hour later but was probably only a few minutes, I looked down the hallway to my left at a fork in the hallway and saw the back of someone walking in the opposite direction while they looked at their phone. "Hey!" I called out, beginning to jog over to them. I stopped dead in my tracks though when they turned around, revealing their identity. My jaw involuntarily clenched at the realization of who I was now talking to. A sly grin grew on his face as he took a step forward, holding out his hand as if to shake. "Hey, Y/N, right? I'm CM Punk." I nodded sharply, "I know." I eyed him warily as he took another small step forward, matching my step back as I refused his handshake. I looked around to see if there was anyone else around that I could ask for help, the sworn enemy of my boyfriend being the last person on Earth I wanted to ask for help. We were completely alone. "Um, I kind of got a bit lost back here, do you know where catering is?" I asked him, a hard edge to my voice as I avoided eye contact. "Sure thing!" He grinned, "Follow me." Reluctantly, and with no other options, I did. I made sure to walk behind him, throwing him a tight-lipped smile whenever he looked over his shoulder to make sure I was still following. Thankfully, we walked in silence the whole way there but it was a thick, tense silence.

I could hear silverware clanking together and the soft murmur of chatter as we came up to the entrance to where catering had set up. Punk stopped and turned towards me, purposefully blocking me from entering and making me choke on my sigh of relief upon arriving. With us both standing next to the wall, he lifted his good arm and rested it on the wall above my head, effectively caging me against the wall when his other hand rested on the wall by my hip. I frantically looked around for someone, anyone else at this point to come and save me, to no avail.

He leaned in close as I held my breath but before he could say whatever he was about to say, I heard a deep, accented, voice yell out from across the room. "Hey, you bastard!" I released the breath I'd been holding but my eyes widened when Drew stormed up and yanked Punk away from me by the scruff of his neck, and threw him to the floor a few feet away. Just before he turned to continue going after Punk, I saw the pure fury on Drew's face. It was cartoonish almost, with his face all red and puffy with anger I half expected steam to start coming out of his ears. Darting forward, I grabbed his arm just before he started moving, pulling him back towards me. He realized it was me before he could shrug me off and let me pull him away even though he was much stronger than me. Gently, he gripped my arm and started to walk us away when Punk started laughing at him from where he lay on the floor, calling him a coward. He stopped mid-stride and looked at me. "Save it for the ring," I whispered, not wanting him to get into any trouble. He turned, spit at Punk's feet, and then continued walking the two of us back to his dressing room. It was silent the whole way there, his unadulterated anger prominent between us as I began to feel guilty for leaving the room after he'd asked me not to. As soon as he shut the dressing room door behind us I turned to him to explain why I had left and was with Punk of all people but he lifted a finger, silently telling me to be quiet. Not wanting to anger him anymore, I stayed silent. He began to pace the room as I stood by the door nervously. "What were you doing with him? I thought I told you to stay in here. I kept calling you and you weren't answering." He finally questioned, his voice low and his Scottish accent thick in his anger. "I left to go get food from catering and got lost and I had left my phone in here by accident and he was the first person I saw and I didn't realize it was him til' he turned around and then we got there and he cornered me and I'm so sorry." I rambled, hoping it was at least coherent enough for him to understand what I was saying. He stopped pacing and just stared at me for a long moment before extending his arms out to me. I rushed into his arms and he held me tightly to his chest and stroked my hair as I continued to murmur apologies against his chest. "It's okay," he shushed me, pulling away to cup my face in his hands. "I'll kill him later, but please promise me that if I ask you not to leave this room you don't leave." I nodded profusely, "I won't, I swear." He nodded back and smiled, pulling my face in to kiss my forehead. "Good, now let's go get you a snack."

[bradleybeachbabe]

The Chair

pairing: Cowboy!Eddie Diaz x Fem!Reader

summary: Eddie meets you for the first time while he’s out at a bar

warnings: mention of bar, mention of drinking, mention of alcohol, flirting, eddie calling the reader ‘baby,’ fast burn, catching feelings, cute first meet, kissing, eddie and the reader acting like a couple even though they aren’t together

word count: 1.6k+

a/n: just for clarification, the title is a country song, but in the fic, eddie and the reader are dancing to a whole different song. i totally recommend listening to the song, so then you can get the whole idea of what i mean by that! also i did add my own little details/plot in the fic, but overall, the fic is still pretty much following the whole story in the song! and if you know me well enough, you know how much i love country music!

Eddie was glad that it was the end of the week. That means he can just relax for the next few days, and not worry about work until the new week arrives. Since it was finally the weekend, he decided to head into town and hang out at the local bar.

When Eddie entered the bar, it was already packed, even though it was only a little past seven. He made his way to the bar and ordered himself a beer. When he got his beer, he walked away. He told the bartender to keep his tab open.

Eddie was heading over to the usual place where he sits every time he comes to the bar, but when he came into view of the seat. He noticed that it was taken. It was taken by someone who he had never seen before. Eddie was stunned by this someone. Since Eddie was stunned by this someone, he decided to take the chance and just walk up, sit down, and start a conversation.

“Excuse me? Is this seat taken?” He asked when he walked up.

“Oh! Not at all,” you said. “Go ahead and take a seat.”

Eddie took a seat in the empty chair next to you, “Could I buy you a drink? If you don’t mind," He asked.

“I don't mind at all. Also, I’m fine with anything, just in case you're wondering,” you informed Eddie.

“Perfect,” Eddie said as he got up from his seat. He walked over to the bar to order a drink. Once Eddie got your drink he walked back to where you were sitting.

“I’m Eddie, by the way,” He said when he came back and handed you the same beer that he was drinking.

“Y/N,” You smiled.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” Eddie smiled as he sat down back in his chair that was next to you.

“You too,” you smiled.

You were hoping that this conversation would go further with Eddie. Granted, you just met him, you thought he was pretty handsome.

“Are you meeting anyone here?” Eddie all of a sudden asked you. When Eddie asked you that question, it took you by surprise.

“No, I’m not,” you shook your head. “I decided to just come out here tonight all by myself.”

“Well, that makes two of us then,” Eddie told you.

You just smiled at Eddie.

“So? Are you from the area?” Eddie then asked you. Eddie thought it was cliché asking you that question, but there was something in him that wanted to know about you.

“I am,” you nodded. “Dallas, to be exact. What about you?” you asked.

“El Paso,” Eddie responded.

“Woah! That’s pretty far from here. What brings you out here?”

“Well, I don’t live too far from here. I moved out of El Paso not too long after I graduated from high school, which was roughly nineteen years ago. And so, when I did, I decided to take a different path at things, and get my hands on owning a ranch and raising farm animals,” Eddie explained to you.

“Oh!” you exclaimed. “So, how is that going for you then?”

“It’s going pretty well,” Eddie nodded his head. “I love it. I’m so glad that I went down that path nineteen years ago because I can’t imagine doing anything else,” Eddie said. “What about you? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I was born and raised here in Dallas. I graduated from high school around seventeen years ago, and straight out of high school, I went to college,” you explained to Eddie.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what did you go to college for?” He asked you.

“For Sports Journalism,” you said.

Eddie was impressed by your answer.

“Oh wow, that’s pretty neat!” Eddie cheered.

“Yep,” you nodded your head. “I’m so happy that I went down that career path. I love doing what I do.”

———

You and Eddie have been talking for the past hour. In the past hour, you have learned so much about him. He learned so much about you too.

“Hey, do you wanna dance?” Eddie randomly asked you after he was done talking about his son, Christopher to you. Dancing wasn’t really on your mind since you were so caught up in getting to know about Eddie, but you thought it wouldn’t hurt to dance with him.

“Of course!”

Eddie extended his hand to you to grab. You grabbed his hand, and you two made your way to the dance floor. The band was singing one of your favorite songs, which was the perfect song to dance to.

Eddie placed one of his hands on your waist and held the other. You two were just swaying around to the music. Once in a while, Eddie would spin you around in a circle.

“You have no idea how much I love this song,” you smiled.

The song that the band was singing was One Night At A Time by George Strait. And it was true, you do love the song. You even grew up listening to every song by George Strait, and it was because of your parents. Both of them enjoyed his music very much. So, that’s how you ended up loving his music too.

“Oh really?” Eddie smiled. “Because I love this song too. It reminds me of you and me, baby”

You felt butterflies in your stomach when Eddie said that to you. You have been called ‘baby’ before, but there was something about Eddie calling you that, that made you feel so happy inside.

“You’re such a flirt,” you teased.

“Oh, I know!” Eddie shrugged his shoulders playfully.

———

You and Eddie were still dancing with one another. The band was now playing more of a slow song, so you were just swaying back and forth with each other.

“Hey, I have a question?” Eddie asked out of nowhere.

“What’s your question?” you looked up at Eddie.

“Do you think there’s a chance that later on I could drive you home? If you don’t mind," he asked.

“No, I don’t mind at all.”

“Perfect.”

———

You and Eddie were the last ones out of the bar. You two got so caught up in getting to know each other and dancing together, that you two lost track of time and didn’t realize how late it was until the bartender yelled out the last call for drinks.

Eddie was driving you back home. Luckily, your house was in the same direction as his, so he didn’t have to drive in the opposite direction to drop you off.

“Thank you so much for everything. I had such a fun time with you tonight,” you smiled as Eddie pulled up in front of your house.

“I had a fun time with you too,” Eddie said. Eddie wanted to say more just than that. He wanted to say something along the lines that he hopes to see you again soon, or that you’re beautiful, or better yet, kiss you.

“Goodnight,” you said to Eddie as you got out of his truck. You closed the door behind you and walked up to the driveway of your house.

Eddie didn’t drive off yet. He was waiting for you to get into your house safely. While he was waiting for you to do, he just decided to park his truck and get out. He knew that if he didn’t say or do anything, he was going to regret it when he got back home.

“Y/N,” he spoke as he walked up your driveway to get your attention.

“Yeah?” you said when you turned around.

“There’s been something I have been wanting to do ever since I met you earlier tonight,” Eddie said when he approached you.

“What is it?”

“It’s this,” and that’s when Eddie put both hands on each cheek of yours and leaned into you and kissed you. You happily kissed him back.

You pulled apart from the kiss, “I’m so happy you did that because you have no idea how badly I wanted to kiss you ever since we were back at the bar, but I was too scared to make the first move,” you smiled as you wrapped your arms around Eddie’s neck.

“Well, luckily, your wish came true,” Eddie said.

“I’ll see you around, Eddie,” you said when you unwrapped your arms from his neck.

“How about the same place tomorrow?” Eddie asked you.

“Or maybe you could take me out on a date instead?” you suggested.

“I like the sound of that. I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at six then?” Eddie asked.

“Six is fine with me.”

“It’s a date then.”

go follow @bradleybeachbabe-library to be notified when i post any new fics!

[bomber-grl]

Enemies to lovers with Leo Valdez

Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!Reader

If anything it probs stemmed from a misunderstanding

Maybe you were cranky the first two times he ever approached you

And perhaps you may have taken it out on him

And maybe just maybe he thought u were those stereotypical condescending people

Basically what ensued from then on was just you two attacking each other verbally each time you ran into each other

But then you’re officially introduced to him by either Percy or Annabeth or anyone else that’s part of the 7 that’s close to you

He’d be especially shocked if it’s Piper or Jason who introduces you two to eachother

Of course that doesn’t automatically solve anything and you’re both total assholes to each other still

Leo is complaining about you and how could any of his friends also be yours?

You feel the same exact way

And unfortunately this is a case of forced proximity as is all my hcs because I’m an uncreative bitch

Maybe it’s just me but I’d imagine constant bickering and making faces would be a bit hard to ignore and go unnoticed

So they all agree to force you two to get along

So you’re on the Argo ll and are forced to clean the stables

(Before the Athena Parthenos is put there obv)

It’s not messy messy but it’s still something

You two both finally agreed to be quiet

But then he gets almost thrown out the window by the ship getting rocked by a monster or something

And so you have to save him by obligation

You two are literally hanging out the window and Leo is yelling like crazy bro

Eventually you bring him back and he thanks you

It was done reluctantly- you make sure he knows that

Plus the situation gives you material to make fun of him for 💀

Then some time after that you’re fighting some daily monsters and he (despite not rlly being a fighter) helps you out by firing some of the weapons on the Argo

This incident spawns this unspoken alliance??

Literally everyone else is made aware of it too and even they’re confused

But honestly at least you’re not constantly at each others throats anymore

Instances where you saved each others asses continued from then on out

It got to the point where you saved eachother so often that you became literal 4lifers

Like genuinely enjoying each other’s company despite the occasional off handed remarks

There was obvious tension that you were both teased for by your individual friends

Even couch Hedge acknowledged it 💀

And youd both deny it

I mean it was the obvious choice

But there had always been tension between you two if you’re being honest

Like if someone asked you if you thought Leo was cute , well let’s not say you’d say he was, just that you really couldn’t deny it

And so your interactions and dynamic continued all the way until the prophecy that started this quest came to an end

And so did you interacting with Leo

He was dead, and despite having liked him, you’d never be able to tell him.

That’s something you had come to accept, and something you realized you’d never get the chance to admit to him

Until you could.

Leo appears back at camp with Calypso in tow

Let’s just say Leo felt ok about her and saved her cuz he’s a good guy and she went along cuz she wanted an escape)

Anyway like everyone else you line up to hit him

Ain’t no way you’re running to him when there’s so many other ppl infront 💀

Gods forbid YOU end up being the one that gets jumped

Even from the good amount of distance you’re away from him you can still very much see his- what can be best as described- upset demeanor

Why he looked that way? You didn’t know and couldn’t tell even if held at gunpoint

Well anyways eventually you end up face to face with him and his expression can’t even be described with just a few words

So ill try anyway

Hes absolutely star struck and, in truth, made breathless from the sight of you alone

I mean with the way Leo looks at you, you’d think he spotted his only true want in this world.

The guy doesn’t say anything at all but then he sorta gains consciousness (?)

He tries to hug you but then hesitates- tries again/ then hesitates

Before he could do anything else you slap the hell out of him 💀

The act is honestly so violate and loud it was genuinely startling

Some would say that you jumped him that day of his return but what did they know??

And then you hugged him

A deep, emotionally charged hug

All the days you had spent mourning him, being tortured by his death that you couldn’t help but feel was avoidable despite the prophecy-

And yet you couldn’t help but melt into the hug

Obviously awkwardness follows after- and for a good while after too

But in the end you two end up together (per advice from emmie and Jo once Apollo casually mentioned the undefined relationship between you two as defense against a remark Leo had made)

And after Apollo is done at the waystation (and you’re not already involved there)Leo will ask if you’d want to stay there together and go to school and be “normal” teens.

The answer is up to you, but we all know what you’re gonna choose

Cmon you’re reading this so you’re obviously down bad 💀

[stariiesz]

୨⎯𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝙰𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ⎯୧

Chapter 2

Tw: physical violence, cursing

Authors note: It only gets better from here, kinda. also this isn’t proof read, enjoy!:)

September 1st 2015

“Satoru, why do you not like y/n?”

Satoru looked up from the book he was reading and met eyes with his friend who was gulping down a whole strawberry soda. Satoru sighed and placed a bookmark in his book so he could pick it up later.

“I don’t know, she’s just… irks me,” Satoru responded as he ran his hand through snowy strands of his hair. “She doesn’t stand up for herself and lets people take advantage of her. I mean you see it yourself, she always lets people cheat off her and stuff.” Satoru expressed as he picked around at his school lunch with his plastic fork.

“So that’s why you don’t like her? I thought there was something more to it.”

“There are other reasons too,” Satoru says quietly as he takes a spoonful of the pudding on his tray.

Satoru wasn’t mean. He was a fair man. He wouldn’t dislike someone for no reason, there was always something to back it up. In your case, it was something you didn’t even know about. Something that if he had just talked to you for a second he would know none of it was true. That it was all a lie, but that never happened, so he was left with a bad impression of you from the start.

August 16th 2013

It was the first day of high school for Satoru Gojo, a spoiled kid who had never heard the word ‘no’ in his life. But unlike others, he remained humble, and kind, and treated everybody fairly. Satoru was the type of guy who wouldn’t harm a fly. Because of his personality, he was naturally a people magnet. People just seemed to like him and wanted to be around him. One of these people was his good friend, Alina. A friend he’s had since childhood. Their mothers were friends with one another so they would often see each other as kids. They went to elementary, middle, and now high school together.

Unknown to Satoru but clear to everyone else, Alina had a huge crush on Satoru and had one for a while now. It was obvious in her actions and the way she looked at him. She would make sure he only looked at her and no other girl. But Satoru was a teenage boy, it wouldn’t be ideal for him to be so in love at such a young age. And that was reflected on the first day of high school when he first laid eyes on you.

You were quiet, pretty, and seemed kind and well-intentioned. He knew you were his type the moment he saw you. Satoru was staring at you from the moment you walked in class until you sat down right across from him. You looked over at him and he quickly looked away, but not before you could give him a warm smile. His cheeks had a small tint of pink to them when he saw you smile at him. Alina, who was sitting next to him, glared at you which you had taken note of. You thought that maybe this girl and this cute boy were dating, so probably you should back off.

“Satoru!” Alina whined in a somewhat obnoxious voice. “You know that girl that you’re looking at? She’s like super mean.” Satoru turned to face Alina with a curious look. You didn’t seem mean though, you were so reserved and didn’t talk to anyone. You seemed the exact opposite of mean to Satoru at least.

“How, what’d she do?” Satoru asked as he played with the rim of his notebook. Alina hesitated for a second as she had no real proof to back up her lie about you. “Uh, I heard she bullied some poor girl in her old school. She made the girl change schools because of it, it was bad.” Alina lied as she looked at Satoru with remorse. “I wouldn’t even get involved with her, Satoru.”

Satoru raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you hear this? It’s like the first time we met her.” Satoru asked somewhat suspicious of his friend, but rightfully so. This was everyone's first day at high school, so how would Alina know such rumors about you when you didn’t even attend the same middle school?

“Well actually Satoru, I didn’t want to say this but… before class I saw her in the bathroom and I liked her outfit so I complimented her.” Alina took a dramatic sigh as she ushered him to come closer. “She scoffed at me and told me I was ugly. It really hurt my feelings, Satoru. So as my friend, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t entertain her.” Alina said as she pretended to look sad, a little hurt even.

“Are you sure it was her? I don’t know her but she just doesn’t look like the type to say stuff like that, ya know?” Satoru said, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. Alina frowned at him. He seemed to be taking the side of a stranger over his friend, best friend even.

“It was her, I looked her directly in the eye when she said it. She’s no good Satoru, just don’t get involved with her, kay’?” Alina said as she played with the bracelet on Satoru’s wrist that she had given him. It was one that she had made for the both of them with little connecting hearts. It was one of the many times she would try to confess her love for him through small actions, but Satoru was oblivious.

“If you say so, Alina,” Satoru said as he gave Alina a small smile and connected their bracelets together. Alina was happy that Satoru had believed her lie. Now that he agreed to not get involved in any way with you, it was one less girl to worry about for Alina. Alina felt very possessive over him, she acted like he was her boyfriend and would often try to embarrass any girl who wanted Satoru’s attention. But this time was different. It wasn’t a girl seeking out Satoru’s attention, it was the other way around. This could be a problem for Alina, even if she told him not to get involved she wasn’t confident he would listen to her. So making up a little lie with little to no evidence wasn’t going to be the only thing she had to do.

That day, Alina found people who used to go to your old school and asked what you were like. All the responses were positive. You were pretty quiet but nonetheless you were still kind and considerate of others. That wasn’t going to work for Alina. Satoru wasn’t stupid. Even though Alina was his good friend, and he wanted to believe her, she was just one person. Satoru wanted confirmation of this story about you being a bully. So he would also ask people from your old school. Now, this is where things went downhill for your public image.

Alina not only found the kids who went to your school, but went as far as to bribe them. She said if they would lie and make rumors about you, she’d pay them, and even give the girls Satoru’s number. A lie of course. Alina was simply using them, making them play into her cards. She would do whatever it took to make Satoru hers, even if it meant tearing down someone else.

Luckily for Alina, the bribery worked. All sorts of rumors spread about you, which quite frankly you didn’t care about. All you focused on was your studies and your own personal hobbies. You could care less if a few lies spread about you, you knew they weren’t true and that’s all that mattered. Unbenounced to you, there was one rumor started by Alina herself that she told Satoru and had people back her up. You had never heard of this rumor, perhaps if you did, it would explain why Satoru was so cold the last 4 years of high school.

“Hey Satoru, did you hear? Y/N was talking bad about you and your family. And even your.. you know.” One of his many newfound friends said.

“Yeah, that was really messed up. I can’t believe she’d make jokes about your… dad and stuff.” Another voice chimed in. Alina sat there with a smirk on her face. It was working. Her plan was working. Sure she could’ve left it with the small rumor she made about you being mean to another kid, but this was Alina. She wanted to start drama and had fun doing it all.

“Oh my god yeah, she's so messed up in the head.” Alina joined in holding Satoru’s arm. There had been a rumor that stood out from the rest about you. It was a rumor that you had made fun of Satour’s passed father. A very sensitive topic for Satoru.

His death happened a few summers prior. It affected him and his family greatly, especially Satoru. Satoru was always very fond of his father. They would play soccer together, go to arcades, etc. His father was his biggest role model, so it struck as a shock to him and his family when his dad got into a horrible car accident on the way to pick up Satoru from soccer practice.

Satoru felt like it was all his fault that it happened. If Satoru hadn’t been so instant in going to soccer practice, it never would have happened. His dad would still be there and Satoru would still be happy. But of course, life is not always perfect, and things don’t go the way you want them to go. Satoru learned that early on.

While he was grieving, there were many people there for him, but the one he was most comforted by was Alina. Alina had lost her mother at a very early age. She didn’t remember her mother but it still hurt to see other kids with their moms doing stuff with their kids and then there was Alina. Because of this, the two of them formed a bond and were best friends from there on out.

Satoru took a few weeks off school when it happened but he returned soon after. People were worried about him, but he was able to keep up a smile even throughout the tragedy. Alina was always there for him even at their young age. So it made sense that he would believe her.

“She what?” Satoru asks, snapping out of his flashback and joining his friends in the conversation.

“Yeah man, a few girls overheard her talking about your dad and making fun of him, she’s horrible.” One of his friends said. Satoru was mad. It wasn’t just Alina saying that you had said horrible things about his deceased dad, it was the whole grade playing along with her. From here on out Satoru started to dislike you, a lot. He didn’t want to confront you about it because it would just be a waste of time, but it would have been better if he did. He simply started to ignore you and roll his eyes when he saw you. You were confused because just a few days ago he was smiling at you in class, but now he just gave you cold glares and scoffed when he saw you.

You were in your own little world. You don’t know why he changed but he did and you couldn’t do much about it. You usually didn’t mind when other people ignored you but when he started to as well, it seemed to bother you. At the time, you didn’t know but you had started to develop feelings for Satoru. But now he seemed to hate you for what you thought was no reason so you just dealt with it. Those feelings stayed for all four years of high school. If only you had known of the rumor. You would have immediately cleared it up with Satoru. You would have made it known that you would never say something like that much less about him. But what’s done is done, and there is no way to change that now.

July 24th 2017

It’s been about a month into your summer break. You haven’t kept in contact with anyone from your old high school, but you didn’t need to. Your summer is going fine so far. You now have time to dedicate to your hobbies and doing other fun stuff. You were a little nervous about one thing though, and that was college coming around the corner. Even though you were nervous it was kind of like a fresh start for you.

You could meet people who didn’t make or know fake rumors about you. You could meet people with similar interests and hobbies. What mostly interested you about the college was the writing class course they offered. It’s a very popular course and it was one you wanted to take. The teacher was told to be great at their job and taught interesting topics. Ever since you heard your older cousin took it and liked it a bunch, you also wanted to take it. Another reason you wanted to take it was because it was one of the courses Satoru wanted to take. But he’s not going to the University of Kyoto so that failed.

Besides the occasional worry about starting college in August, summer was treating you well. Today was one of the annual Japanese festivals. You were going to go with your parents and little sister to eat some good food, play games, and watch the famous fireworks. It was something you did mostly every year. It was going to be an all-around good time. Your parents were busy with work so it was one of the times the whole family could spend time together.

You started to get ready for the festival. You put on your prettiest Yukata, tied your hair in a bun, and put on a little makeup. It was one of the times you gotta dress up and it made you feel good about yourself. On the car ride there you laid your head on the window and pondered to yourself. ‘I wonder where Satoru is right now.’ You thought to yourself as you listened to some lovey-dovey song through your headphones. ‘I bet he’s gonna get a girlfriend in college too.’ You rolled your eyes at your thoughts. So what if he did, he’s going on about his life. You thought confessing would make you stop having these sappy thoughts but you found that to not be true at all.

Ever since you confessed you thought of Satoru a lot more. Probably more than you did before you confessed. The thoughts wouldn’t go away but you had to remind yourself that he’s going his own path and you need to focus on yours. What kept eating at you though was now that he had changed colleges he would be going to Alina’s college and they’d only continue to get closer to one another. You sighed and closed your eyes as you listened to your music. Now a sad song was playing, ironic huh?

As you and your family entered the festival your nose was filled with a handful of smells. Fried foods, sweet pastries, and the smell of the beautiful blue ocean. The same shade of blue as Satoru’s eyes. Sigh, you have to stop thinking about these sappy things.

You moseyed around with your family for a while playing games and trying different foods. You ran into a few people from your old high school but they didn’t acknowledge you so you didn't either. You could have sworn you saw Alina but you were being rushed by your mom to help her carry something. It would have ruined your whole night if you did see her though. But for now, you just ignored it. It probably wasn't her anyway. You overheard her saying she was going to Europe for the summer anyway.

The fireworks were going to start soon. As you and your family sat down on a good spot on the crowded beach, you felt the reminiscence of the huge drink you had earlier and had to use the bathroom. You excused yourself and headed to the lady's room. After you finished your business you touched up your makeup and made sure your hair was good. As you applied a slick layer of lipgloss you noticed someone come up behind you.

“Excuse me, I gotta…oh it’s you.” The voice said, suddenly changing the tone when they caught a glimpse of your face. It was none other than Alina all dolled up for the festival. You briefly moved out the way as she asked and she stared you up and down as she touched up her lipstick.

“You know, Y/N, Satoru’s here,” Alina said with a smirk as she went back to putting on her lipstick. Your heart dropped when you heard his name. Satoru was here after all. Of course, you were happy, but there was a catch if Alina was mentioning it.

“Yeah, we're actually dating now. Took a while but we finally confused our love for each other, cute, right?” She said with a laugh. “He doesn’t want you, he never has, so just get over him, kay’? We're happy together.” She said brushing some strands of her brunette hair out of her face. Your heart dropped again but not because you were happy this time. No, because you were crushed.

You knew that you and Satoru getting together would probably never happen and that he would find someone he truly loved. But you didn’t think so soon, and with her of all people. You couldn’t lie, it stung a little, but you couldn’t let Alina know that so you kept your emotions concealed.

“Congrats to you two, I guess.” You said in the most unbothered way you could. You were just about finished touching up so you were about to leave when she grabbed your shoulder.

“Wait up a minute,” Alina said, halting your movements. “I just want you to know… that he would have never wanted you anyway. I mean look at you and then look at me. I’m pretty, skinny, and brunette while you... Well, you're you. You shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up in the first place, I mean-” SLAP.

You were fed up with Alina. She was annoying and just straight-up rude. You didn’t bother anyone and yet she seemed so envious of you. You’ve taken enough of her crap. Now that school is over you weren’t gonna get in trouble so you went for it. You slapped her, and it felt good. She deserved it.

Her jaw dropped and she held the side of her face which you slapped.

“You're a real bitch you know that!” She said grabbing her purse and running off probably to tell Satoru and her minions. You didn’t care though. After years of her little snarky comments, this pushed you over the edge. It was so unlike you. You were never really one to escalate to physical violence, but if it was Alina anyone rightfully would.

You finished your slight touch-ups and walked out of the bathroom to join your family on the beach for the fireworks. On the way there you bumped into someone and some stuff in your bag fell. Both of you bent down to pick it up before you could see who it was.

“Oh sorry about that.” You said as you put the stuff in your bag. As you looked up to see who it was you bumped into foreheads with them, but when this happened you saw those cerulean eyes. Those eyes were unmistakable. You had to be sure it was him. You looked up at him as he offered you a hand to get up. There was no mistaking those snowy white strands and those beautiful blue eyes. It was Gojo Satoru.

‘Why is he being nice to me?’ You thought to yourself. It seems you thought too soon because as soon as he made eye contact and realized it was you his warm smile disappeared and he replaced it with a frown as he put down his extended hand.

“Oh, nevermind.” He said as he walked off with his hands in his pockets. Great. You had actually thought for a second that maybe, just maybe he would start to like you, but no. As soon as he realized it was you he walked off probably to go and join his new girlfriend and talk about how much of a hopeless romantic you were. You sighed as you got up yourself and continued your walk back to your family on the beach.

The fireworks were beautiful as always but you couldn't fully enjoy them since all you were thinking about was your previous encounter with Satoru. What had gone so wrong to make him hate you? That you’ll never know.

After the festival was over, you walked back to the car with your family. In the parking lot you had caught a glimpse of Alina who was standing with Satoru. She looked back at you with a cold glare. You could care less at the moment. Suddenly she got a devious smirk on her face as she took Satoru’s arm and kissed him. Now that you care about it. You looked away blinking back some tears and turned to face your family. You tried to ignore what you just saw and paid attention to finding the car and getting the hell out of there.

What was once supposed to be a fun, traditional family event you looked forward to was ruined this year by Alina and Satoru.

Authors note: yes I did reference jjk chapter 261 :p

3.6k words

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Banner creds: @cafekitsune

[lure-of-writing]

Done

Summary: you are done with the way Cassian treats you

word count: 2k

There you were yet again. Alone. Cassian had been doing this a lot recently. Avoiding you that is. It never used to be like this. In the past you couldn’t get him to leave you alone, he was obsessed with you. That was until your work took you to the continent for almost a year. Nine months if you were to be exact. Sure being away from the people you loved wasn’t the best situation to be in but yet you didn’t let that stop you. Often after a long day of playing in the world of politics you would return to your room to write each person of the inner circle a letter. Cassians was always the first to be written and sent out. The rest followed soon after. Since you physically could not be the night court you tried to find ways to remind those you loved that you did in fact love and miss them dearly. Oftentimes sending little items that reminded you of them. Hand made emblem for Rhys to stamp his papers with, beautiful paints that weren’t available in the night court for Feyre. So on and so forth. 

At first everything was fine but the more time you spent on the continent the less you heard from Cassian. The first thought that crossed your mind at the lack of communication from Cass was that Rhys put him to work. Giving him something to focus on other than your lack of presence. With a quick letter to the high lord you quickly found out that was not the case. He in fact was not currently tending to anything other than his recurring requirement to his court. This was strange. 

Something you had learned in your time with Cassian was that sometimes you just simply did not have enough energy to deal with another person, let alone have a conversation with them. So you slowed down the letters you were sending but never failing to remind him that you loved him and couldn’t wait to be home once more and if you were able to visit then you would. Sometimes he would acknowledge the letters you sent, sometimes he wouldn’t. If he sent a letter to you he would oftentimes  disregard what you said about missing him, simply brushing past what you said as if it held no significance. This didn’t happen right away of course, no, it was a slow and minute thing that happened over time. When he first stoped sharing your feeling of longing and want to be with the other person you didn’t mind, figuring that he was enjoying some time alone without you but by month six you were concerned, exhausted, sad and overall hurt and frustrated. This lead you to calling him out on his actions in your next letter. “What is going on? We barley talk, when I offer to come visit you say no, when I ask for you to come here instead you say no. Ive tried just about everything to see you but yet you never do the same for me. I find it quite ironic how every time I think I will have enough time to return home you suddenly are very busy, but yet when I ask Rhysand if that is the case it isn’t. You never have enough time in your days for me but you always have more then enough time to spend with your friends. You will pick literally anything and anyone else over me. Why is that? Do you not love me anymore? Am I not good enough? If you don’t feel the same or want to be in this relationship then please let me know because I can’t do this.” 

Cassian obviously talked you down from the ledge of a breakup reassuring you that he did in fact love you; he was just busy with everything happening within the inner circle especially since he was the peacekeeper between Rhysand and Nesta. Bregurgenly you accepted his answer not without reminding him that what he did was not ok and he needed to change his behavior. Immediately he agreed stating that he saw how it was a problem and needed to do better. 

But better never came. Three months had passed since that argument and almost a month more had passed since you returned home. It was mind blowing how even upon your return back to the night court Cassian never came to see you. Not once. Once again something or someone else always needed him more. With a defeated heart and building anger you accepted each of his excuses in hope that he would one day return the effort you were putting in the relationship. That day never came. Rhysand wanted to see you after your long excursion across the ocean and to a foreign land. He also needed a report from you in full but that was neither here or there. Once at the river house Rhys greeted you with a big smile and open arms, inviting you into a very much needed hug. “How are you my friend?” the question was asked as your high lord led you to his office “I’ve been better but you know how that goes.” Rhysand frowns at your answer “Continue on. What do you mean by that?” sighing you deflate in the chair across from him. “It’s Cassian. I asked him when we could see each other and he said he was busy this weekend and last but I know he was just here. I can smell him. If he was just here, why couldn’t he have stayed and finally acknowledged my existence for the first time since I’ve gotten home?” Rhys simply nodded his head in understanding sensing you had more you needed to get off of your chest. He was right about that. “And then when I asked about seeing him this weekend he said he was busy celebrating the new Valkyries. Like seriously? C’mon. You can’t spare five minutes of your day to say hi, how are you?” 

“I see why you have been better.” with another heavy sigh you nod while closing your eyes to stop the burning sensation of oncoming tears from succeeding in their mission. “Not even that but he doesn’t even talk to me anymore. I will try and try and try but it's like he couldn’t be less interested in what I have to say. If I don’t say anything first we would never talk. Gods, we don’t talk. Actually now that I think of it I can’t remember the last time we had a conversation that lasted for more then five minutes. That is when he can pencil me into his very busy schedule.” You felt Rhysands observing eyes take note of your completely exhausted appearance. And the drained feeling radiating off of you. It wasn’t from the trip. He knew that much. “Y/n my dear you need to talk to him about this.” the first sigh of your impending breakdown was your wobbling lip being pressed inbetween your teeth and the deep breath you take to stop yourself from crying. It was not successful as tears freely made their way down your cheeks. Rhysand saw it then. You were not angry, or frustrated you were simply done being treated this way. You knew what you needed to do but your heart hadn’t let you. “I have talked to him about this. All I do is talk and talk and talk.” A broken laugh makes it way out at how completely stupid you feel. “I’m done talking. He has shown me time and time again just how exactly he feels about me. You prioritize the people you love. And I am no longer a priority.” Finally opening your eyes you see those stunning violet eyes staring back. At first it felt like pity but the longer you looked the more you recognized the true emotion displayed. Empathy. Oftentimes you forgot Rhys could look into people's minds but as you felt the gentle nudge in your head asking for permission to see what had been going on you allowed it. A few moments pass as he shuffled through your memories before he finally retreated to his own mind. “Y/n my dear you don’t deserve that. You know this right.” You couldn’t find it in yourself to verbally respond to him so instead you simply nodded your head while trying to hold back the tsunami of tears fighting to be released. “I know.” you whispered 

Getting Cassian to yourself was no easy feat. The first few failed attempts resulted in getting Rhysand involved as much as you hated having to do so. But this conversation was much needed and you knew you would never feel content with your decision unless you were able to talk with the male face to face. There in that exact office where you had cried to your closest friend about your relationship being in shambles is where you now stood in front of Cassian who was silently sitting in the chair in front of you. “We should break up.” That finally got his attention. As soon as Rhysand revealed that the pretend meeting was just a ploy to get him in the same room as you, Cassian had shut down completely. Now he was staring at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. “I have tired and tired to get you to care about me and I am done trying. I am tired.” Cassian tried to speak but with the raise of your hand he was quick to close his mouth. “Everything else in your life has taken more priority in your life than me, and I am not saying that I am the most important person in your life because I am not. But I have been begging for you to give me even an ounce of your attention and you can’t even do that so I am done. I am done begging you to allow me in your life, hell to even want me in your life in the first place. I will not continue to beg and plead for you to show me you care because it is quite obvious that you don’t and that you haven’t for a very long time. This is not how you treat someone you love. I would know because I would never do the same to you.” Cassian stood abruptly closing the distance between the two of you causing you to take an equal about of steps back from him. Seeing the hurt flash in his eyes brought you a sense of disbelief. Only when you are about to walk away does he finally show interest in you again. How ironic. “Please don’t do this. Don’t leave me. I can do better, I can be better.” His whisper of words are overshadowed by the laugh falling from your lips. “That is what you have been saying for months and yet you never change. Sure you do better for like a week and then everything is back to normal. It's time to face the music, Cassian. This relationship is over. It has been for months. I was the only one putting in effort and you honestly can’t believe that I would continue to stick around when you don’t do the same. Relationships are two-sided and you know that but yet I was all alone.” 

Swiftly you move past him and his outstretched arm. Only stopping once you reach the threshold of the doors. You don’t look back as you speak “I hope you are a better partner for Nesta.” Cassian remains silent as you pull open the door. Rolling your shoulders back you stand tall as you make your way down the hallway lined with Rhysand and Azriel. Finally you had set yourself free from the person who valued you the least. Outside of the River house you took in Velaris one last time. Life on the continent was calling and you couldn’t fathom telling it no. Something in your soul had changed walking out of that room. Something no male could ever take away from you again. Happiness. And for the first time in your life you finally understood what it meant to put yourself first.

[14buddy22]

You’re Losing Me

Aaron Hotchner x Female reader WC: 3.7k Warnings: ANGST

Based off the song; You’re Losing Me by Taylor Swift

@ssamorganhotchner​ (prepare for your heart to break bestie)

Masterlist

You had tried. You really did. You tried to keep your relationship with Aaron alive. You tried to keep it interesting, tried to keep it fun, but it wasn’t that anymore. You could try all you want to make him happy. You’d do whatever he wanted as long as he was happy, even if you sacrificed your happiness.

You were tired, lonely, empty inside. You were tired of being 2nd to him. You knew the implications of his job. He was very upfront about that, even telling you the night you met. He told you his marriage ended because of his job.

You ignored it, because you fell in love with him. You knew that his job made him happy and you learned to be okay with that. You knew that dates would become canceled, you knew you’d show up to family and friend events usually alone, you’d take care of his son more times than not because he was away.

You chose to ignore it. Him and the BAU were like peanut butter and jelly. They worked well together, but anyone else who joined, did not mix into that perfect combination. You wish you had, but you didn’t. Maybe you did for a little bit, but it wouldn’t last forever.

You were tired of always being his “back-up”. You knew it was always the BAU over you, but when would he realize he should start putting you before the BAU. He knew the BAU was the reason his first marriage failed, shouldn’t he consider changing that before his 2nd marriage started?

You found yourself sitting in the sunroom of the house you and Aaron had moved into. It was the perfect size for you, him, and Jack. Even though Jack was older and his toys had turned into more electronics than anything, there had been talks of having kids with Aaron. The perfect single family home that you and him picked to be perfect to raise a few more kids that you and Aaron made.

You loved the sunroom. It was yours and Aaron’s favorite part of the house. You both loved it because of the light that came from it. You know it was called “sunroom” for a reason, but still, it was your favorite place in the house.

But it’s funny how you found yourself sitting in the dark, without Aaron. You didn’t know what to do. You don’t know when it got this bad between you two. You don’t know where it all went wrong. You don’t know how he didn’t see the signs.

Sitting there with your thoughts to yourself, all you could think about is how long you’ve been with Aaron. All you’ve ever wanted to do was to make him happy, even if you sacrificed your own happiness. You’ve always been like that, that never changed, even when you and Aaron started dating.

You were a pathological people pleaser.

It’s been roughly 1278 days since you and Aaron Hotchner became a thing. That’s 3 years and 6 months that you two were dating. Too many “i love yous”, hugs, kisses, late nights, date nights, family adventures, and making memories to count.

You tried to pinpoint the exact moment of where everything went wrong, when you began to sacrifice so much of your happiness that Aaron was taking for granted. He never saw the signs that you were exhausted with your relationship with him. You loved him, but he’s losing you.

You and Aaron had been together for 3 and a half years. You set yourself into a routine that you just went through the motions with him every single day. There was no surprise element. You tried to surprise him with dates, but that was quickly resolved when majority of the time he was still never back from a case or was pulling a graveyard shift getting caught up on paperwork.

You were proud of Aaron. He was a great profiler, yet he never saw the signs. He never saw how you had to put a smile on around him. He didn’t notice the way that you were trying to tell him to take some time off so you and him could go on a weekend getaway because you felt lonely.

You felt like you were the only one in the relationship. 6 months ago is when you started to notice it. You noticed that you and Aaron had been in a routine. It was the same thing everyday. Even with as chaotic as his schedule was, it was still predictable.

He missed the dates you planned with him or the dates he had planned with you.

He missed your family events where you would have wanted him to be there with you.

He missed your friend gatherings where you wanted to show him off, to prove to your friends that they were wrong about him, but he let you down.

Maybe that’s where it all went wrong. Time and time again, Aaron slowly let you down with all the broken promises he left you. Promises of I’ll be home early tonight turned into late nights at the office. Promises of “I’ve made dinner reservations for us tonight at this new restaurant” turned into, “I’m caught up in a case, we’ll go out when I get back”.

Those promises were never made up.

That’s why you were sitting in the room you and Aaron loved, alone. You wanted to go out for a nice dinner tonight, but, from the time it read on the clock, Aaron had forgotten about the reservation you made. You had reminded him this morning. Jack was spending the night at his friends house. You thought back to this morning, making sure you did remind him.

Aaron was drinking his coffee in the sunroom this morning when you decided to make your way to him.

You gave him a kiss and he pulled you into his lap. It was his favorite way to start the day with you. You wanted to break routine and have him stay in bed just a few more minutes but he preferred to be up out of bed.

“Good morning. Any fun plans today?”

“Clean the house, do some laundry. Boring stuff.”

Aaron took another sip of his coffee and as you played with the back of his hair. You decided to bring up the fact that you two had your date night planned for a couple weeks now. You specifically remember telling him to request tonight off.

“Remember, Jack’s at a sleepover tonight, you and I have dinner reservations.”

If you hadn’t known Aaron as well as you did, you would have missed the way he slightly stilled for a second, but you didn’t. You chose to ignore it, you know he couldn’t have forgotten.

“Of course. Jack’s sleeping over at a friends house, you and I are trying that new place tonight. What time?”

“7:30.”

“Right, 7:30. I’ll be home at 7 to pick you up. Okay? After dinner, we’ll come home and I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed you and how much I love you.”

He leaned forward to kiss your neck, slowly sinking his teeth into your skin, sucking what surely would leave a hickey for the tonight. You pulled the hair at the back of his neck away from you, not wanting him to go any further, not wanting him to leave anymore marks on you.

“Aaron. Save that for tonight, otherwise I won’t be able to cover it up.”

As you got up from your spot on his lap, you made your way to start making your breakfast and cleaning up the remmanents of his.

He got up, grabbed his briefcase, walked over to you and kissed you.

“I’ll see you tonight, I love you.”

“Bye, Aaron. Be safe. Love you, too.”

It made you wonder, how can he say he loves you when he doesn’t know you’re dying.

How could he not know this was your last resort to save your relationship. Him knowing that you made reservations but him forgetting. Granted, you still had until tonight to make sure he’d remember, but you were starting to doubt. You two were just a sad song that wouldn’t come back to life any more.

It was now 8:30pm. Not a word from Aaron. No text, no call, nothing. Not even a text from the team. You didn’t like tracking his location. You weren’t insecure, you didn’t think he’d be cheating on you, but you decided to text Penelope, to see if they were on another case.

She had easily become your best friend on the team. Sending a quick text off to her asking if there had been another case, you started to think about breaking the engagement off with Aaron.

You were empathetic. You always give him the benefit of the doubt. But you think he forgot. You know he has to keep everyone else on schedule but you just wanted this once for him to have taken something seriously.

He was the best profiler, yet couldn’t tell if something was wrong in his relationship with someone he’s been “in love with” for 3 and a half years. Someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Was it all a lie?

Penople quickly texted, “Greetings, future Mrs. Hotchner! We are not on a case. Hotch actually sent most of us home early. So I’m surprised he’s not with you? Maybe he’s still in his office?”

That hurt you. If he sent the rest of his team home early. Why wouldn’t he come home early? No text. Nothing. You reminded him about your date. Maybe he knew this relationship was ending and he was just trying to avoid it?

Then you heard the garage door opening and closing. As you stood up, you were met with him staring at you. Silently pleading with you to already forgive him.

But you couldn’t. Not now. Not when you know he sent his team home early and there wasn’t a case. You couldn’t.

He knew he fucked up, royally fucked up. He saw how you looked so beautiful in your form fitting dress. He knew that you hated dressing up all formal, yet you still did it because it always got the best reaction from it.

“I am so sorry.”

“You’re losing me, Aaron.”

Aaron’s heart stilled. He didn’t know if he heard you correctly. You didn’t realize that you barely spoke that. It came out as a whisper. You didn’t know if you had the courage to say it out loud or say it again, but it had to be said.

You were met with silence from him. Why won’t he say anything? You wanted to scream at him, but you couldn’t. You knew you couldn’t yell at him. He had a tough job and you just yelling at him wouldn’t work, he didn’t deserve that.

“I’m sorry I forgot about our dinner. I am so sorry. I started looking at this case and I knew it was close to 7 but I thought “it’s only a little case, it won’t take long” and then next thing you know it was 8:30”

“There’s always going to be another case. I just asked this one time that we had gone out for dinner. I made this reservation weeks in advance. I asked you to request this one night off. Aaron, you sent your team home early! You couldn’t even come home early. I just wanted one night with my fiancé. That’s all I wanted.”

Aaron was silent. You felt bad. But, when was it your turn for you to be unhappy? You always pleased everyone, but when could you please yourself? You probably wouldn’t marry yourself either with the way you were a pathological people pleaser.  

“Do something, babe! Say something!”

You were still met with silence from him. There weren't many times that Aaron Hotchner was speechless, but this was one that stunned him the most. His fiancé tells him that he’s losing her. The one woman who he needed the most in his life, he was losing her.

“Lose something, Aar. Risk something.”

You were afraid by saying that, he would risk losing you. He was already losing you. You told him that, you already knew that, but you had a glimmer of hope. You thought back to the 3 and a half years and countless happy memories made up of him. The countless “you’re the best thing to happen to me”. You believed it. But was it a lie?

“Choose something. I’ve got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me.”

Aaron moved towards you and he said, “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”

“Aaron! I’m sorry doesn’t excuse the way you’ve been acting towards me. I don’t know what else to do. I know I’ve tried given you the world because all I’ve wanted since I’ve met you was to make you happy. But you know what, Aaron? Is it wrong for me to want to be happy? Is it wrong for me to want me to be seen by you?”

You looked at him, tears in your eyes. Your heart was breaking. But, you couldn’t continue to be in a relationship where you didn’t have a pulse anymore. If Aaron thought this relationship was worth saving, he wouldn’t have messed up.

Don’t you deserve someone better? You made the ultimatum. But you had to have known there was a possibility Aaron wouldn’t pick you, and you have to be okay with that. Yes, it’ll hurt if he doesn’t choose you, but in the end, you just wanted him to be happy. If you not being in his life anymore made him happier, then so what?

You were bleeding, not physically, but you were in a constant battle of you v the BAU in Aaron’s life. You were tired of the battle already. You knew making the ultimatum you or essentially the BAU wasn’t fair to Aaron.

But you deserve someone who was going to give you what you deserved. You just wanted to be seen by someone. He was losing you, yet wasn’t fighting hard for it.

“I have loved you since I met you. The last 3 and a half years have been amazing. But if you want me to choose between you or the BAU.”

Your heart shattered. He didn’t have to say the rest to know what he was choosing, and it crushed you. Metaphorically, you didn’t have a pulse anymore, your heart wasn’t going to start again for this relationship.

You slipped your engagement ring off your finger. You carefully placed it down on the kitchen counter. How ironic that the place he proposed to you is the place where you two were breaking up.

“This is for the best. I want you to be happy, Aaron. That’s without being in a relationship with me. I thought I could handle the BAU and you, but, I just can’t Aaron. I deserve to have someone keep their promises or at least make up for them. I deserve to go on dinner dates. I deserve to have a family that I’ve dreamed of having. I know this is what you want. You’ll have the BAU and Jack. You won’t have to worry about dinner dates or dates in general. You’ll just have work and your son. Don’t mess those two things up, Aaron.”

You looked at him. His eyes were filled with tears but he refused to blink. If he blinked, he’d lose all control.

“I’ll stay tonight in the guest room and I’ll talk to Jack when he comes home in the morning, then give me a day or two to pack-up and then I’ll be gone for good.”

You grabbed his hand and then kissed his cheek. There was loss and indecision in the air, but it was for the better, right?

“I gave you my best me’s. My endless empathy. I’ll always love you, Aaron.”

As you walked away from him, you went to your room and cried yourself to sleep. You were upset with yourself for not trying to come up with a better solution. You were upset with him for not trying harder. You were upset because you were losing Jack. The closest thing you had to a family and you lost them both.

Talking to Jack the next morning was hard. Aaron didn’t say a word while you talked to Jack. Jack was upset. You knew it would be rough on him. You’d been in his life for 4 years, now you had to walk away. Leaving Jack was going to be harder than you thought.

“I don’t want you to be mad at your dad. It’s not his fault. If you want someone to be mad at, be mad at me.”

Aaron was just looking down at the floor. He didn’t want to see that you were now crying as Jack was hugging you so hard, crying too. He didn’t realize that you were going to take the blame for Jack being upset.

****

It had been a few months since you’re engagement with Aaron ended. You were heart broken. You had to realize that you gave him the ultimatum. This was making him happy, he didn’t have to worry about coming home early to a wife. He didn’t have to worry about being a father to any extra children you and him wanted to have. He only had to worry about himself, Jack, and work. That was it. You pleased him before you could please yourself, even with a broken heart, you realized that he chose and that’s what he wanted. You didn’t force him, he had the opportunity to fix it and he didn’t. It didn’t just go bad that one night a few months ago, there was some part that was the beginning of the end.

Were you able to pinpoint it? No, not exactly. But it got to the point in the relationship right around the 3 year mark where it had been a problem and you didn’t realize it. Aaron knew it was coming too.

Aaron and Jack took the break-up hard. Jack wouldn’t talk much with his father. This was just as much Jack’s loss as it was Aaron’s. Aaron didn’t realize all you did for him. He didn’t realize how much of things you actually took care of.

You did the laundry, you cleaned the house, you made sure Jack cleaned his room and bathroom, you did the yardwork, you made sure the house was always filled with food. Aaron didn’t realize this, but you always bought refillable ink for his pens and always replaced them in his office. He didn’t know it had been you doing that. He thought he just bought a really good brand of pens, but when his pen finally ran out, that’s when Jack told him that when you went shopping with Jack one time, you explained to Jack that his dad loved the type of pens they were and bought refillable ink, always refilling it when you noticed it was low.

It’s true when they say, “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”. Aaron realized that the hard way, he was determined to get you back. He needed you in his life. You were the fresh air he needed. He loved walking in his home, seeing you in the kitchen or the sunroom, waiting to talk about his day with him. He missed how you were a great mom to his son.

Aaron royally messed up and he needed to get you back. He knew you were still best friends with Garcia, so when he called Penelope asking where you were living, he didn’t miss the stutter in her voice, when she quickly said, “S-sir, I can’t tell you that.”

“Penelope, please.”

Then he heard your voice. “PG, I’m going on my date with that guy who owns the bar! My location’s on, we’re going to the restaurant across from where he works. Love you.”

You were going on a date. You knew the guy wasn’t Aaron, but you wanted to get back out there. You couldn’t sit around and mope.

Aaron hung up the phone and said, “Jack, get in the car. We have to go somewhere.”

As him and his son raced to the car, they both got in and Aaron was driving like a madman. He knew exactly what bar and restaurant you were talking about. It wasn’t the first time that the owner of the bar had been interested in you.

As Aaron saw you standing outside, he pulled his car over, but then he saw the owner reach out his hand and you grabbed it, moving closer to the man. Aaron couldn’t get out now. You wanted to be happy. You deserved to put your happiness in front of someone else’s. Aaron had his chance with you. He didn’t realize that until he saw you now, smiling and twirling in the middle of the sidewalk as there was a live band close by, the man spinning you around.

Aaron was pulled out of his thoughts when Jack said, “Dad, what’s going on?”

Aaron’s heart broke, more than it had when you pulled the engagement ring off your finger, more than it did when you told Jack you were moving out. Aaron’s heart was shattered now. He couldn’t come back from this. You made Aaron happy, sacrificed your happiness for Aaron, that’s the least he could do now. You warned him. You told him that he was losing you. He just didn’t know he had the perfect woman until you were gone.

With a voice barely above a whisper, trying to respond to his son, he said, “I lost her.”

As Aaron drove away, the last thing he saw in his rearview mirror was you smiling, almost like you were looking exactly at his car. He had lost you and he wasn’t getting you back. The hopes of you and him together again were gone. He didn’t understand how he missed the signs, but he did and now he’s paying for it. He lost you and he wasn’t getting you back. 

Part 2 (if you want)

[unreliablesnake]

Guilty as charged (David "Deacon" Kay x f!reader)

Summary: You're working for the CIA's Special Activities Division and get involved in a case 20-David has to deal with. Despite being married, Deacon is drawn to you and there's nothing he can do about it. His life gets out of control and it takes a really long time to find himself again.

Warnings: emotional cheating, a teensy bit of catholic guilt

Note: I only saw like half of s6 so I don't know Annie. She must be nice, but this had to be done.

You were CIA–Special Activities Division to be exact. Deacon understood that you had been close to the fire before and knew much more about their suspect than they would learn from a quick research. Time was running out which meant they could use all the help they could get. Hondo wanted him and Luca to go through the details with you so they could come up with a plan, but he wasn’t exactly happy about it.

His problem with you wasn’t the fact you were an outsider. It was personal.

First, he subconsciously began to focus on your hands, looking for an engagement ring or a wedding band, but there was nothing. Then you made a quick personal phone call around him, and he found himself listening to see if the person on the other end of the line was someone you were in a relationship with. And he knew he was in big trouble when he had to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you against his chest to get you out of the way of trouble.

He reminded himself that he was married with kids over and over again, that he was in a happy marriage and didn’t need anyone else. But then you flashed a small smile at him and his strength to keep his distance disappeared without a trace. He discreetly made sure he was near you all the time; he helped you out if further research was necessary, if you had to visit a witness or a source, or if you wanted to let off some steam in the boxing ring after running into another dead end.

By the time that case came to an end, he had more and more trouble getting you out of his head. He even went to church to confess his sinful thoughts, but that didn't seem to help him, because that evening he had a brand new dream about you. A dream that mirrored the primal need that took over every time he was around you.

On the way to the station he made a promise to himself in his car; if they went out for a drink to celebrate, if you were a willing participant, he would take his chance and kiss you. Just one innocent kiss, nothing more.

Of course, it was hard to decide what he would regret the most. Kissing someone who wasn't his wife or letting you go without trying. He wanted to be faithful, he really did, but he was on the verge of losing his mind, and the only medicine seemed to be you. He had to try, even if he would have a terrible case of guilt for the rest of his life.

While you and Hondo discussed something outside of the bar, he got lost in a conversation with the rest of the team. Anything to take his mind off the thought of this being the last time he saw you. But maybe this was good news, maybe being away from you would give him the closure he was seeking.

Some time later Hondo showed up, ordering a beer for himself before turning to Deacon. “I can see you want to say something,” he said with a smile.

“Where did you leave our new friend?”

The other man let out a long sigh at this seemingly innocent question. “She’s talking to someone on the phone outside. Look, Deac, you’re my friend, so remember that I'm on your side. But listen, you need to stop.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can see the way you look at her. You're married, you shouldn't look like a kicked puppy every time she turns her attention to someone else.” Deacon nervously looked away, suddenly feeling guilty because he was right. He probably did look like a kicked puppy, because he sure as hell felt like one every time you talked to someone else from the team. “Did anything happen between you?” Hondo asked him with a concerned look.

“No.”

“Good. You shouldn't risk your marriage for someone who will leave tomorrow.”

With a groan, Deacon stood up and put on his jacket. “Noted. I'll go get some fresh air now.”

“Come on, man, I've just told you to leave her alone. You're playing a dangerous game,” came the sensible response.

“Thanks for the warning, I appreciate it.”

Hondo was right about everything, he knew that very well, but he was drawn to you in a way he had never been drawn to anyone, not even his wife. The idea of never seeing you again felt like a dagger in his heart, which seemed surreal since he only met you a few days ago. It was something unexplainable, something he was willing to accept without questions. Maybe it was fate that brought you together.

He walked around the building and found you standing on the street with your back against the wall, the light of the screen illuminating your face as you scrolled your phone. Even though he came to a stop before reaching you so he could take a good look at you, appreciating the view and taking in every little detail to remember you, you looked up and flashed a smile at him.

“Needed some air?” you asked, sounding as friendly as always.

“Yeah, you can say that. Can we talk?” You nodded and pushed yourself away from the wall to move closer to him. “Please tell me you have someone waiting for you back home,” Deacon begged you quietly.

“What?”

“Tell me you're in a relationship, give me a damn good reason why I shouldn't do something I might regret later.”

“Deacon, I…”

He placed his hands on your cheeks and leaned so close his lips almost touched yours. Almost. He kept a little distance, he didn't kiss you, so it didn't count as cheating, right? You looked confused, but still let him take control of the situation. “I shouldn't be doing this, but you don't give me a choice. You're driving me crazy, you know that?” he asked as his lips brushed your jawline.

Your fingers curled around his wrist before you gently pulled his hands away and took a step or two away from him. “I know you’re married, and I avoid married men,” you informed him, although there was no hate in your voice. You were still kind to him, as if it was nothing more but a misunderstanding.

“If I was single, would you give me a chance?”

“No. And it’s not because of you, it’s because of me. I don’t live in LA, I’m sometimes away for months, and I wouldn’t want you to deal with that.”

“I wouldn’t care.”

“But I would.” You stopped and took a deep breath, your eyes set on him as you carefully studied his expression. Deacon tried to keep a straight face, he tried to keep calm and make it look like he wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack, but you clearly saw through it all. “You’re not planning on leaving your family, are you?”

“I don’t know. Can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.”

Shaking your head, you let out a sigh and took a hesitant step closer. “Don’t even think about it, okay? You can’t end a marriage that’s been good just because you’re temporarily confused by your feelings,” you said, keeping your voice down as you tried to talk some sense into him.

Before he could figure out how to respond to that, Street showed up and told him they had to go somewhere. You motioned him to go with that damn adorable smile on your face, and he had a hard time fighting the urge to finally kiss you, probably for the first and last time. In the end he nodded and walked away, not looking back to make sure he safely escaped from your gravitational field.

It took Annie over a month to realize something was wrong. The countless nights Deacon spent on the couch instead of their shared bed, the distance he slowly built between them, the conversations they never had, and the way he snapped at her once when she dared to ask why he stayed out late one evening. He screwed up, he knew that, but he had been tense ever since you accidentally called him.

How could he forget about you when he saw your number in his phone, saved under the name Oliver so Annie wouldn’t put the pieces together if she ever took a look at his contact list or recent calls? If she had taken a look at it, she would have seen one incoming call from this guy, and several outgoing ones that only lasted a few seconds. Maybe a new friend, she could have thought.

So another two months later Annie sat him down so they could talk like adults, discussing what bothered him and hopefully finding a solution to their problem. At first he didn’t want to talk, he just kept changing the topic, but she knew better than to let him do that. When she asked him who she was, he groaned and stood up to start pacing in front of her. How could he explain the situation? It was so ridiculous that even he wanted to laugh at himself sometimes.

“We worked together on a case for a few days about four months ago. I hadn’t seen her or talked to her since then. Nothing happened, I swear,” he said, choosing to be honest with her. She deserved that much.

“Then what’s going on? Despite stating nothing happened between you, you didn’t hesitate to confirm it’s about another woman,” she pushed on, her voice slowly breaking.

Deacon gulped as he considered what to say. “She knew I was married and she wanted absolutely nothing from me. It’s all on me, Annie. I was the one who chased her, not the other way around.”

“Please, pack a suitcase and leave. I–I can’t be under the same roof with you now.”

A text was all he sent you. A short text that told you his wife had kicked him out three months ago and he was sure they wouldn't get back together. Then he waited. A day. A week. A whole month passed with no response. He was beginning to accept that you wouldn't talk to him again.

But then he went to the station one day and he was told someone was waiting for him. It was you. After all that time you were standing in front of him, looking absolutely stunning in the blue sundress you wore with a pair of beige summer ankle boots. You looked so uncertain that if he hadn't known what you were capable of, he would have assumed you were out of your element here.

Maybe you were. Maybe you both were. This wasn't a conversation about a case or your respective jobs. He felt it in his bones that you came because of his message. So he cleared his throat and walked over to you, taking deep breaths to calm himself since his heart wanted to jump out of his ribcage.

“It's been a while,” he said with a nervous smile.

You looked down at your shoes, doing your best to avoid his gaze. “I don't even know why I'm here. I've been away for so long, then I came home a few days ago and saw your text and the missed calls. I'm sorry, it's been a long time, maybe I should leave,” you said.

Before you could turn to leave, though, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back. “Is that why I couldn't reach you? Because you were on a mission?” You nodded when you were finally brave enough to look him in the eye. “When I asked you if you would give me a chance if I was single, you said you wouldn't because of your job. But now you're here and I need to know why.”

“I don't know, Deac. All I know is that I couldn't get you out of my head after I found out you were still thinking about me,” you admitted.

He smiled at you as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to himself. “Let's say we can find a way to make this work. Are you sure you're ready for this?” he asked you.

You placed a hand on his arm and began to draw circles into his skin with your thumb. The silence was deafening, but he wasn't about to rush you, not when he finally had you this close again. And then you spoke up, but the things you said brought a deep frown on his face.

“You misunderstood me, I'm afraid. When I said I couldn't get you out of my head, I meant it in a different way. You can't keep doing this to yourself. Stop thinking about me, forget I exist, and for the love of God, try to fix things with your wife,” you told him seriously.

“I don't think that's possible,” he began sadly. “Every time I look at her, all I can think about is how I wish she was more like you. I can't love the woman she is anymore. It's you I need.”

Shaking your head, you pushed his arm away and stepped away from him. “I need to go, my team will head out in two hours. Don't torture yourself, Deacon. You deserve better,” you said, even flashing a supportive smile at him.

He let out an annoyed groan, his warm eyes watching you closely as he thought about what he could possibly do to change your mind. Maybe if he showed you how good you two would be together, you would realize that it wasn't worth losing the possibility of a happy relationship. So in the end he looked around, making sure no one was around, then closed the gap between you and let his lip crush into yours in a cautious kiss.

“Now be honest with me,” he began patiently as his fingers caressed your cheek. “Why did you really come here? You were nervous, told me you didn't know why you came here, which was probably a lie. And I can tell the whole ‘forget about me and go back to your wife’ speech was a lie too.”

You watched him silently for a while, then you gulped and licked your lips as you prepared to talk. “But I meant it when I said you deserved better than me,” you told him.

“Just try to accept it’s you I need in my life.”

“What about the divorce? How’s that going?”

The divorce. Sure. All that had happened so far with his marriage was Annie throwing him out and the two of them seeing a counselor to discuss how to move on with the kids. They had to tell them that he was moving out for good, and they had to find the right way to assure them he wouldn’t disappear. But they never talked about the legal part of this process which was weird in retrospect as they had been separated for months and Annie was seeing someone already.

Deacon took a deep breath and said, “It’s… going.”

When he saw you close your eyes and let out a long sigh, he knew he couldn’t fool you. And just as he expected, you pulled away and gave him a serious look. “Call me when you’re legally single, okay? Until then it’s nothing more but a fantasy, you know that,” you told him coldly before telling him you had to get to the airport anyway.

He didn’t even try to stop you. You were right, and even he would have a lot to process if he entered a relationship before the divorce was finalized. He was already going to the church quite often to at least chat with the priest if he wasn’t ready to confess, hoping he would be able to give him the guidance he needed so badly right now.

And now you were back, even if for just a very short time, and made it clear you wouldn’t necessarily be against a relationship if the circumstances were different. Now he had to wait. He had to wait for bureaucracy, hoping nothing would stand in his way. How patient he would be while he was waiting, though, was a completely different matter.

[gotham-daydreams]

Hi! I love your gothan platonic batfam series, but every time I read it I can't help but wonder what Duke's reaction to all this would be. He's one of my fave batfam characters, do you have any plans to add him in later chapters?

Just curious, no pressure. Hopefully I didn't come off as pushy. (sorry if i did)

Have a good day! <3

Hello! And you didn't come off as pushy, no worries :]

I'll be honest and admit that I have thought of adding Duke to the series- but if I was going to do that in a more organic manner, and just generally in a way that makes sense- that would've been in Chapter 2 or 3. Though trust me I am still debating... and the only reason I'm hesitating is because I don't think I'd be able to capture his personality, or really just him as a person very well.

Granted, I do inherently view yandere versions of characters as OOC for... various reasons (some of which are obvious, especially when it comes to the Batfam and DC characters in general), but I do try to keep very close to the character (or my general understanding and interpretation of them for things like DC, who have multiple canons and such) and write them in a way that does still compliment or adhere to parts of their personality or overall mindset... if only generally. Like Bruce and his closeness to those around them yet the distance he so desperately tries to keep - not for himself, but rather those around him. His strive for justice and to do good to make up for a sin, a fault that isn't his to forgive or one he hardly had anything to do with and so on. How that makes him inherently protective if only at a distance and in silence. How he tries to keep himself away from others, if only to protect them, and yet finds himself surrounded anyway. Etcetera etcetera.

Case and point- I don't have a really good graps of Duke's general character and aren't confident enough to write him into the Not Series at the moment- and by the time I do, it may feel shoehorned in and just not as great as it could be (even if a line I wrote in Chapter 1 was meant to be him..). Though I am learning more about him! And if anyone would like to share what they know and their interpretations of his character they have and such while I still have asks open, I'd love to read and see them :]

In future series', oneshots, and just general things I plan to post and share on this blog, Duke will very much make an appearance and we'll reach 10 yanderes for the Batfam instead of just 9. (Some series' which will definitely be longer than the Not Series.)

On that note, I have thought of how Duke would feel (and some others earlier on have asked a bit as well), and from the little I know of him, this is how I think at the moment he would generally react/feel (though it may be inaccurate and such because of what I mentioned previously 😅):

I think he would start out as one of the many others that actually live in the manor or just so happened to be there at the time — and that being he feels guilt first (unlike the only person in that house who doesn't/didn't) and just... wouldn't know what to do. The time passed and everything the reader has done sort of leaves him stumped, and just stuck processing until everyone's rushing out and around to find you and before he knows it- he's following out with them to do the exact same thing.

I think he leaves before everyone else, and considering that he does daytime patrol, it isn't as odd to see him out and about anyway. Though the frantic-ness of his movements and actions are weird, and for once, more outwardly, Duke panics.

He feels bad, of course he does, and more similarly to Cass- he can only wish that he could do things with out. That he wants to be in the room when you got your awards or had been there through the hardships he knows you undoubtedly faced without even having to see the medkit like Bruce does in Chapter 2. So he goes out to look for you, but not so much for your safety and more so to just... apologize. To say every little thing he can in hopes to make things better, to lessen the damage.

And of course, just to see you.

More than anything Duke wants to make it up to you right away, but has half a mind to know he'll have to take things slow. He's still sensible to some degree, if not only partially of half-insane just like the rest of the fam (minus a certain blonde and red head who are only a sliver of the way there), he knows it'll take time, that you probably won't forgive him right away. But that's okay! He can live with that, he understands that, but he just needs to see you. Just once- if only to see who you are now and the person you've become. If only to say an apology that might fall too flat or feel too empty considering the little he knows about you.

Just once. No matter how awkward it is or how much he regrets it later. Just once.

Though, despite that he is divided on bringing you home. It would be nice, sure, but by the time that discussion comes up he isn't sure that's the best idea. Even less so with how those that do want you home seem to want to go about it, and just generally the kind of people they are. Impulsive. Strong. Threatening- they'll scare you and do more damage then help ease tensions, and he doesn't want that to happen. You don't deserve that- even if he barely knows you. Duke can feel it, you don't. Even then, they help people out, not hurt them, not like they did with you.

Duke wants to spend time with you, but he's willing to do that outside of the manor if it means making you more comfortable and warm up to him a little more. As long as he sees you he can't complain...

So when Dick messes up, he's upset. Like everyone else besides Cassandra he doesn't know what happened but knows that something absolutely went wrong. Dick usually wasn't so obvious about things like that either, but with how hurt and just... broken he looks, they could all tell. Duke could tell.

Granted, he's not upset enough to change his mind, and if anything it definitely makes him more adamant about not bringing you home yet, but he can’t find it in himself to be fully against the idea, even then.

The one thing he wants to do after that, if anything, is more determined to make things right.

If Dick of all people couldn't make it up to you, then hell, maybe Duke can.