#just hit me harder honestly
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thinking of how little art i had created this year
#it's still like a week before new year's and i'm already reflecting but oh well!! idrc ermmem#waiting out art block was not a good idea at all#that and the fear of imperfection is a deadly combo what the freak#but then like#“bad art is better than no art at all”#just hit me harder honestly#and it makes sense cuz looking back i feel like i barely improved because of how little i had actually created#though art isn't necessarily about improving too#wanting to make “pretty” art and the want to learn color theory and to improve your proportions is not a bad thing#but creating art with the intent to improve and creating art with the intent to just have fun and express yourself are two different things#and i realized i forgot that too#i had the first mindset so much that it burnt me out#that's what also installed my fear of imperfection#i ranted way too deeply sorry HAHSHHA#idk if other artists may feel this way unknowingly too#or if it was just me#yeah im putting this up anyway#most tags i've ever had in a single post wowza
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im not putting this post into words. beams into your mind The Parallels
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#not a new thought at all of course but i havent seen a post thorough enough for Me. the guy who thinks about it a lot#and this isnt all my thoughts either but it at least Touches on each element that i think about...#honestly where i could talk for ages is where the similar things were Different for them. but harder to organize#if you actually went and looked at all these panels with me. thank you for coming to this Presentation and Journey#i hope my Beam is having an Effect.#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon#thistle dungeon meshi#marcille donato#long post#can i be forrealsies i made this post ages ago and was just referencing it while drafting one About the contrasts and accidentally hit post#so ig might as well keep it up instead of hoarding it in my drafts. and maybe ill post That essay here someday#tistle tag#my posts
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#I'm having lots of feelings and I feel like nearly crying after watching#once upon a studio#it's not much but god the nostalgia the voices#the fact that they used archived voices along with current ones!!#Hearing Robin Williams as Genie but not with any of the voice lines in Aladdin got me hard#disney#sternennacht update#but honestly the two things that hit me harder#was when you wish upon a star at the end#and Mickey looking at Walt. And they played Feed the Birds#THAT got me#For anyone who doesn't know Feed the Birds was Walt's favorite song and the song is beautiful#I'm just#I'm having feels#and the fact that this is gonna play before Wish?? Lord save that theater I will cry so hard
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reblog art, goddamnit
#post let luce#i know people make posts like this all the time#but I am so fucking tired#I post art for engagement. for interaction.#so many of those reblogs are tagless too#what do i make art for?#to throw it out to a silent audience? to get a clap and then work on the next performance?#this is not ragging on people who reblog. especially not those reblogging with tags#yall are the reason i *do* still post#but i honestly just wanna know what people think. i wish to hear their thoughts. the less people reblog the less people see#and the less people have the spoons to actually talk to me about my art#not doing so well rn so it just hits harder#and more and more tempted to just. not post on tumblr anymore#when i post stuff on discord it feels much more interactive#despite the audience being so much more limited#feeling bad about my art and posting on here isnt helping
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I will never be over the friendship between N and the player character of Black and White, even more so with The Ideal Formula story event in Pokemon Masters. The fact that they were so insistent on seeing N again they went searching for him for two years, the way that Hilbert was so keen to see him again, as soon as he hears N is on Pasio, he immediately wants to go see him so he can tell him that he wanted to say goodbye before N left. I so wish we could have seen more of them together in the main series games because the player clearly left such an impact on N and if Pokemon Masters is anything to go by, the same could be said in reverse.
#pokemon#i know that a lot of people ship them#but i honestly think their relationship has so much more of an impact#when they're friends#because the player was the first human friendship n ever had#it's a relationship that clearly means so much to him#and i am a big believer in platonic relationships meaning just as much as romantic ones#the idea that their friendship meant so much to both of them#despite knowing each other for a short period of time#hits harder to me than them being romantically involved#maybe that's just my aromantic ass speaking but i think it works better that way
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Am I crazy or does Luigi's Mansion 2 require more observational thinking than the usual Mario game?
I'm used to the hard part being the reaction time and the hand-eye coordination, but this is that + puzzles.
#are the puzzles hard? not particularly#but I'm bad at them so it adds an extra layer#the puzzles are WAY harder than anything in SMB Wonder. That I can say for certain#you guys do not want to know how long it took me to figure out how to beat the giant spider after the first wave#or how badly I got kicked around before I figured out that first Boo boss fight with the spirit balls#they don't even take your hand and walk you through the tutorial like in most Mario games#they just say ''hit +. The instructions are there'' which feels VERY in character for E. Gadd honestly#(none of this is negative btw it's purely observational. I'm having a good time so far)#luigi's mansion#luigi's mansion 2
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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened#my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda#ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game#because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something#normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have#when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think#i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing#others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie#but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy#and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him#and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me#i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder#this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for#literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND#i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better#yapping#diary#loz#pokemon
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Me and my freaking ship charts for my freaky mind
#I'm gonna rant about them in the tags a lil bit so bear with me#I really like the idea of them taking turns “spooning” each other (or just one laying on top of the other idk)#bc they listen to each others' heartbeats since Lisa's dying lmao#and idk where losa being taller came from#but her canon height says she's 5'11 and i believe it honestly#and kind of the same thing with her being trans; i just think it's a neat character study#especially since we dont know anything about her past or who she was before the game's events#and i didnt rly know how to mark Jean's flirtiness levels because Jean flirtation is VERY different from Lisa flirtation#hers is much more unintentional or very charming like a kiss to the back of Lisa's hand or dancing her around her office when it's late#and she speaks formally too which adds to the unintentional rizz#Lisa cant help but fall for her fr#and i think they are the embodiment of the “fell first fell harder” trope#Lisa falls first and she's content to watch Jean from afar bc she knows how important her job and Mond are to her#and then Jean finally catches up tripping falling bleeding all over ripping her heart out to show Lisa how it beats for her#altho i think it was hard for her to come to terms with it especially since she doesnt want her personal life to interfere with work#so she has to find the balance first#and Jean also knows that being flirty is just who Lisa is and that they are both extremely loyal to each other#but Lisa gets pushed a lot probably when other women start hitting on Jean a little too much#and they're both equally overprotective of each other especially out on dangerous missions#but Lisa feels like she HAS to protect Jean more bc of her importance to the safety of Mond#this is just me rambling tho im literally so in love with them bc theyre just so soft and the wives ever#i am the most sane jeanlisa shipper actually#ty for coming to my ted talk#jean gunnhildr#lisa mici#jeanlisa#genshin impact#ship chart#character art is mine
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reading the code black manga and uhhhh I am having many thoughts about caw code black
#more ramblings from me yippee#cells at work#it’s consumed my life I’m sorry#cells at work code black#character design is such a hit or miss in code black I feel#like it’s not even (just) the fan service stuff cause like whatever but u1196 and cos uniforms don’t even look cool they just look strange#but like I love j1178’s outfit it is everything to me#even if her second panel is an up the skirt shot#I was surprised to find that the anime had swapped the order and characters involved in some chapters#but honestly I like what the anime did better#cause I feel like you get to care more for a smaller group first#and ac1677 hits harder
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Doubling up on my cosplay efforts and making that fish scarf and shirt and also that angel's crop top armour
#looking at the armour top pieces like. what is this 😭 considering fabric glue for it bc I'll need it for the helmet too#i am. not super satisfied with how the helmet is looking rn but i know everyone hates making it so I'm trying to not let it get to me#i need to finish the skirt pieces bc they're holding 90% of my pins rn and it's making cutting the fish shirt pieces harder#honestly excited to work on seb's coat bc i wanna add a billion pockets to it and actually use them#considering making like. tiny little files to keep on me and give to ppl who chat with me bc that would be kind of cute#thinking back hard to the pouf cosplayer i met while also dressed as Pouf who had a few sheets of butterfly stickers#and gave me some that i stuck on my con badge#i still wanna do gabe's swords. augh. i have the cardboard and enough vinyl for the sheaths..#hello. welcome to another installment of shai making financially irresponsible decisions-#i do have some uhhhhhh debt i would like to get resolved bc I'm putting money towards the new car#and found out how hard my credit has been getting hit when i saw the shit tier apr on the estimated monthly payments 😭#gonna circle around comms again after the con so i can try to get a better grip on it bc i have been trying to cut it down#wanted to do it this holiday season and then. tree branch car crush extravaganza happened#did find out i can save a decent amount of money by not just getting an oven bake meal every night and actually cooking lmao#I'm losing the plot in the tags here but uh. the hilarity and mild hypocrisy is not lost on me#shai speaks
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startin the year off sick :| not like i had a cold two weeks ago,,,
#im very annoyed#i planned to go hang with my bf and friend today and now i cant because i feel too crummy and i dont want to get them sick#:(#planned to do work but idk why this cold hit harder than the last#i think im just gonna sit in bed and try to read#even tho it makes me sleepy#better than not doin anything honestly
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Snootles Rant: Lonely AF edition
Snootles does not feel well (she's fine just being dramatic) and is going to rant about being down bad (like seriously being horny on main right now do not perceive me)
*slumps on the floor* I wanna be a housewife so bad
I don't wanna work, I just wanna stay home and crochet/knit and then make some food
And then get absolutely pinned by my beast of a husband
Is that too much to ask????
Is it too much to ask for a big burly man to absolutely ruin me in bed but then he's dedicating himself to me in other ways???
I just wanna live on my own, at least. Crochet a bunch of flowers and vines and shit and decorate my place with them. I want friends I can just surprise with little crochet hearts or flowers and take on dinner dates.
*my ill figure pushes an image towards you* *muttering* I just need to be under him
The photo in question:
Fuck I also love him
*holds these two pictures and cries more*
WHY MUST I BE CURSED?? I AM NOT PHYSICALLY WELL ENOUGH TO HANDLE THIS BEAUTY AT THIS HOUR
*it's late I should really go to bed*
Instead I shall complain more because as hard as I've tried to stay horny off main, I am unfortunately a weak-willed woman
And I am a simple woman with simple needs.
And those needs are currently to get fucking decimated by one of the above men. Fuck it, if not both
#god the things i'd let Captain Price do to me#I just wanna *sniper shot*#It'd be better if I didn't finish that sentence let's be honest#they can destroy me but i'm okay with that#Captain John Price and Sgt Kyle Garrick live in my head rent free#fucking thinking of Gaz whispering “good girl” in my ear and I am deceased#Price saying “That's my girl” at literally anything I do and I am immediately weak#EVERYDAY I WAKE UP AND THINK ABOUT HIM *pictures of Gaz and Price*#*cries harder*#the way I need either one of these men is just shameful#Honestly for me though y'all do you#But like now I'm having Gaz feelings#am I going to bed? No#I'm gonna consume all the Gaz x f!reader stuff I can#and hit the Price x f!reader smut again#I hope nobody's reading these#But if you are lemme know#Lemme know how fucking crazy I am and how proud you are of me for finally getting this off my chest#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#snootles rants
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on a slightly different note i do understand aziraphales decision. like i hate it but i do.
it’s the religious trauma.
the not wanting anything to change despite knowing that it’s bad and doesn’t serve you anymore.
the deep-rooted belief that you don’t deserve the good things you really want,
…which leads to self sabotaging in order to not give yourself even the faintest glimmer of hope,, bc if you actually let yourself hope for it then you have to deal w the consequences later when you don’t get it, or it doesn’t go as planned (bc obviously in this imagined scenario you’re never going to actually gEt the good thing anyway,, so why would you prolong the agony?)
#idk this probably isn’t worded amazingly bc i rushed to try and get all my feelings out#but yeah#honestly i think it hit harder for me#bc it’s literally my worst fear that i’ll wake up someday and decide to go back to the church#like after everything i’ve been thru#part of me still thinks#‘but what if they were right’#the brainwashing runs deep im afraid#it doesn’t just magically disappear when you stop believing#good omens spoilers#good omens#aziraphale
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just started watching Arcane and like - i know silco isnt a good guy but it just like hes everything my father isnt protective and caring (in his own way ig) and like i know my father would never dream of doing anything like that and the whole theme of parenthood being the one thing that breaks everyone is (maybe) true i know my father would never and it just hurts cause these arent good people and on paper my father is better than them but he really isnt. he really really isnt
#another faceless girl#will make smth more coherent soon#i know no one sees these but arrhrhhrrh#it just the theme of fatherhood breaking everyone even someone who tried to bulid all their walls out of smth unbreakable being broken#by a daughter of all things#it just hits so much harder when you know your own father would never do any of this crap#hed probably turn me in honestly#because when you dont have daddy issues and you watch this show i imagine it just like “oh i like vander!” and “oh i dont like silco!”#and its that easy cause your father loves you#but my father doesnt so even when i see unhinged unhealthy father-daughter relationships#i just think it sweet because to me it is cause my father wouldnt even try in the first place!!!#and this makes no sense does it but ragahahaha it makes sense TO ME#and maybe someone out there#but like the unrestrained protectivenss of silco with power/jinx cause even thoughs hes evil hes a good father (maybe)£#or at least he loves his kids!!#so when its the other way around and your father is a good person who doesnt like his kids it just smack you like a brick#cause wow#thats what its supposed to be like.#huh. what.#i have so many thoughts i will expand on this for my sake no one elses heheh :) suffer#arcane#i guess#arcane = my daddy issues!!!#i hate my dad#daddy issues#powder and silco#dont know why im tagging this proper no one will read it but ah well#it adds to my sad girl tumblr profile#i need it on my resume for sad girl on tumblr school!!! making my portfolio rn#hope i get in!!!!
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trick to fun dialogue is just to make it a little hard to understand. maybe thats a cheap trick but i dont care
#or not even that hard necessarily just like it takes like 2 listens. it takes attention#and what 'harder' is is subjective depends on the type of dialogue you hear a lot and your vocabulary level#watching the nevers right#and im watching this scene and theres this character who exactly hits this spot for me#like 5........wait 5 years ago is not as far as i think it is.........7 years ago (ugh) i woudlnt have understood what she was saying#like i'd know all the words separately but iwouldnt have understood what she was saying at all#but rn im like oooh this is the exact balance between obscuring your meaning and substance#i think oftne in my writing i obscure more than there is substance#there usually /is/. /some/ substance#theres usually substance. just theres more complication than there is substance. here the balance is better#bc someone needs to say these words hfkghgj#the other day while reading scripts im making myself rewrite i was like 'i coudltn do this in a fic. iwouldnt get away with this'#lines that work in a script (bc they'll be acted) fall flat in fic bc we dont have the luxury (or limitation) of actors#but it really made me think abt like..what you need to do in a script for television vs in a fic based on that television you knwo what i#mean? different things you need to work for. WE need to work for that the characters sound like Them. that we can Hear them#tv gets that almost free. the words will be in the right voice in the right body that gets you like 60-70% of the way#less sometimes depending on the specificity of the character&circumstances i was mostly thinking abt the doctor who maybe has more leeway#and tv has the limitations of 1) needs to be sayable. but also 2) needs to be flatter i think#you cant put 5 meanings in every line bc theres plot that needs to keep going and sentences need to stay short#so you get a lot of character work for free i think but in return you need to rein yourself in in that way#anyway idk these observations were just based on like me rewriting the 14 specials and going 'this line fucking sucks in fic' fhgkjhgkjgh#not that it was a bad line! just. boring .meaningless. doesnt add. filler noise. i dont have TIME for that in fic. i lose people#idc if i lose readers i dont know abt that but i lose myself honestly very short attention span keep every word interesting#scripts are fluffy and repetitious. repetitive. but repetitious sounds funner#anyway its fun trying to match that tv need with my own lines that i add in#not too obscure. needs to be sayable. but with my own 'half the spices cabinet in my single cup of hot choccy' approach to writing#(and hot choccy)
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wait okay but real talk if they decided to diverge from historical stuff and not kill Billy…I weirdly would not like that, I think it makes the entire so much more tragic if he dies fjdjdhejs
#sadly sometimes I am a writer first#part of me wouldn’t like that I mean#there was theories he didn’t actually die#and that he faked his death or smth along those lines#so I guess they could do that bit#like also the way in which he did supposedly die like he wasn’t even doing anything#he was just getting a snack or smth and pat ambushed him and killed him unarmed I think???#like THATS insanely tragic and honestly hits harder than him just being able to fake his death and run away you feel me?#kit talks
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