#just gotta let them haunt you
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“Thank you for keeping your promise.”
inspired scene from the fic “Beyond the Heartbeat” by @starsworth
#tonight I chose pain ✌🏻#a lot of tears were produced in the making of this#also lowkey felt not long enough like I would’ve loved to bawl some more and kept drawing those two fuckers :///#the hug they fucking DESERVE#I’m sick#crying#forever#this fic lives in my bloodstream bc#black brothers#what can ya do yk#just gotta let them haunt you#oh btw Sirius is smiling in this one 😭#I TRIED OKAY ITS HARD TO DRAW A SMILE ON SOMEONE WHOS FUCKING BAWLING#anyway#fanart#sirius black art#regulus black art#black brothers angst#black brothers art#maraudeurs fanart#Sirius black#regulus black#iris tries to art
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I'm going to be bitching about Star for a while now. I'll tag them all with #asc spoilers, but really what the fuck was this book?
#morningtalks#asc spoilers#The biggest flop I've ever seen in the history of everything#How could you even fail this so badly? Where did you think these were good ideas?#The Icestar thing I'm personally miffed about because I genuinely wanted Froststar. Not for her happiness but because she's the only cat#Who felt like she had a bit of a REASON to be leader#Look for the less obvious choices. Makes a senior warrior they ALREADY CONSIDERED leader#While she was off on a whole other adventure in Another Book You Gotta Buy Now To Know What Icewing Was Up To#While the Real Plot Was Happening#Splashtail is dead already when she arrives#Do these fucking morons really just sit on their asses AGAIN up until Icewing arrives/Frostpaw wakes up?#Timeskips of hell. I hate it here#Berryheart's death is also one I am FURIOUS about#Woman Died For Her Daughter So Now She's Good and All Her Family Mourns Her#They really had to go Redemption Death for the most radioactive piece of garbage in existence#She spent THE ENTIRE ARC being an absolute shithead berating her son/trying to KILL her own daughter-in-law#Manipulating (or at least trying to) Sunbeam. Plotting against Tigerstar within and outside of ShadowClan#Was fully into the plan to trap Tiger and co ''because then she could fix ShadowClan herself and get River out''#This fucking book I swear I hate it so deeply#How do you fail such an arc?#How idiotic do you have to be to not let Sunbeam (and Spireclaw) deal with their rancid mother once and for all?#Why does Sunbeam still Love Her So Much after everything?#(okay I know Trauma and Parents and growing up within odd situations and how you still kinda love them)#But Berryheart was a Problem the entire arc#Why?#It is really just because Berryheart is Mom and this Has The Mom Instinct still?#You let some rando horrendous man kill his own daughter in SkyClan's destiny by accident. Why can't Sun and Berry fight?#I wanted some horrific death for Berry. One that would haunt Sunbeam for a long time and maybe if needed cement her choice#To not return to ShadowClan because it hurts#Yes I wanted SUNBEAM to kill Berryheart (or at the very least Spireclaw)
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i gotta say, 13 hours into omori, i don't get why people call it a horror game
#omori#like there's been occasional creepy scenes but they're usually quite short especially compared to the broader tone of the game#it does have a serious story. about like. trauma and failing friendships? that i'm really intrigued by as it slowly uncovers#like maybe it leans further into horror elements as the game goes on but i gotta say the elements that do exist aren't enough for me#to explicitly call it 'horror'#don't get me wrong i love this game and i love the spooky moments they're really fun!#i just went thru the train ride bit which was pretty fun i liked how the shadow at the end says the name of ur real-world character#even though ur playing as omori in the dream world#also no spoilers but it's unclear to me as of now if omori is just haunted by the memory of his sister's death#or if her spirit is Actually haunting him#also i had flowers and i thought maybe i cld put them on her grave but it didn't give me the option#also i loved the moment where kel talks about hero's depression and the way he himself was overlooked by h#their parents#man. i love all these characters so much#god the scene where aubrey fights you in the church and the whole time all the churchgoers are whispering about how terrible she is#i felt so bad for her man#also her design in the real world is cool as hell#also i actually lost to aubrey during the church scene but i didn't get a game over she just let me be and left#omori spoilers#i know the game is old-ish but my wording may have implied i wasn't going to spoil and i totally did#what i meant was don't tell me abt the future story of the game i'm only on 'three days left'
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nigel would have been so fucking mad, but more than that- so fucking disappointed in you if he was still alive, jake.
#i hope the guilt of hurting all the black people you know in your life haunts you till you rot.#the fact you think its okay to be the pos bigot you are now is bc all you ever got for what you did to me was a slap on the wrist.#too many people let you get by with doing too much fucking shit.#i hope you jump off a cliff atp. im tired of holding out hope for your decency as a human. ik you dont have it.#even as a kid you were talking about how you know how to manipulate women to get your way. that alone tells me everything about#how you think. you dont care about shit. you never cared about your black friends.#it was all for clout. and now that you're not in school anymore you dont have to keep pretending to care bc you dont need the clout#anymore. everything you ever fucking did was for clout.#if you really cared about me like you pretend to why did you act like i was inherently defective? why did you act like i was gross and#weird? why did you convince everyone i was lame but to 'tolerate me' when you could have just presented me normally without shitting on me#and even still- in spite of your efforts to convince your friends that im some gross weirdo they should avoid and only tolerate-#two of them still wanted to fuck. so.#the reason you present me as below you is because of the clout. you know im nicer than you. you know i dont have to rely on being#an asshole bigot to be funny like you. you know i actually have some fucking talent- so you gotta act like theres something inherently#wrong with me to put me below you bc god forbid anyone threaten the status of your self erected pedestal you stand on.#im not the reason you have no talents or hobbies. i literally gave you my electric piano bc i thought you actually cared about shit for#once but no- you did THAT for clout too. you're such a fucking narcissist its so painfully obvious.
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some random mc screenshots to counteract the amount of angst i just wrote. mostly of me being stuck in weird places because of Claimed Chunks making it so im functionally in adventure mode at other people's bases
bonus screenshot of @aperture-science-sys drowning in the field. because death message testing. i think that was the reason?
#haunted ecosystem#i love that you can tell when ive been doing something depending on how full my inventory is. like.#im at home/at our base? my inventory is basically empty because its all put away or in backpacks#im out / was just adventuring? so much random crap. because my backpacks are full. i need to make more stack upgrades for my block bag lol#also my lavenders <3 its just a staple of my inventory#i always have lavenders with me since i both like how they look and also i keep needing to make waystones...#ive gotta run around and collect the ones ive accidentally abandoned. i'll have a *bunch* then#also i neeeeed to work on grinding for wither skeleton skulls#its just actually a pain in the ass and i need to just make a wither skeleton farm#i just. dont want to#however i also dont want to try and figure out if anybody has made one already and if theyre willing to let me use it#bc i think the only group with one is withers crypt and i am mildly terrified of them#im just a little guy who wants more hearts.... then im gonna start farming ghasts to respawn the dragon for *those* hearts#its a whole process. but also i should. probably finish enchanting my armor#ough. i still have to talk to people for that because i dont want to spend like four hours cycling villager trades because i dont want#to have to burn more armor because its ended up being cursed#i need to work on tinkers stuff just to recycle the cursed things. SIGH.#modded minecraft grind.#except my connection is so dogshit that the grind is actually just a Problem half the time
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~ ~ ~
#all I wanted was to love you and care for you#I’ve never met a man who was offended that someone wanted them in some way and yet here you are#for all the problems you have in your personal life you think you’d just be happy that someone wants to show you affection in any way#but you’d rather be miserable and ‘better’ and halfway hate your life than just accept this#I’ll never understand someone who willingly chooses to be/stay unhappy especially when better options are available#I’ll never understand why you would show me so much passion just to give me a cold shoulder#you say it has nothing to do with me but disregard the fact that you treated me like trash to throw away when you were done with me#you say I didn’t do anything wrong while also saying everything I do makes you uncomfortable#you act like we never had a history that still haunts us both#and what’s going to happen when you need that passion again?#are you going to find another anxious vulnerable girl to use and manipulate?#are you going to fuck up someone else and ruin another life?#if you’ve done this before and then repeated that then you’ll just end up doing it again one day#you’re just another lesson I’ve had to learn and I’m tired of being taught#for someone I thought was my savior you sure make me do a lot of labor#but hey I’m always fucking up anyway right? so I’ve always gotta apologize for something#have to grovel at your feet lest you say I’m hurting and insulting and pushing you#have to let you control this whole relationship and just be glad you give me something lest you walk away#I hope one of these days you realize who I was and what I gave you and how you fucked me up#I hope you understand the damage you’ve done and the wreckage you’ve left in your wake#and I hope someone does to you what you’ve done to me so you’ll finally get to hurt the way I do#personal
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Finally
Pairing: lando norris x girlfriend!reader
summary: lando’s girlfriend finally graduates from college and comes along on for this amazing season
a/n: well…this didn’t start out as a girlfriend piece…but it got away from me and did like 12 different 180° that never quite led back to the same direction…
a/n2: what a season! 2024 was my first season as an f1 fan and wow!! It was crazy and wild and wonderful and enough for it to gain another lifelong fan
a/n3: fuck McLaren but congrats to Lando and Oscar
papaya_girl
liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 823,445 others
tagged: landonorris
papaya_girl: gotta soak up all the time with him as i can since he’s gonna leave me all alone to go…let me check…do his job?? Idk what that’s all about
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user1: you’re just checking off the boyfriend date list aren’t you??
↳user2: no but for real…an aquarium date, home cooking, beach date, and an art exhibit?
↳user1: be real landonorris did you just google good date ideas?
oscarpiastri: you trust him to cook??
↳papaya_girl: i was supervising very closely
↳oscarpiastri: still…
↳landonorris: oi! Have a little faith
↳oscarpiastri: I’ve seen you burn water trying to make insta noodles
↳papaya_girl: oh good lord
↳landonorris: that was ONE TIME
↳oscarpiastri: it was not.
↳papaya_girl: lando…
user3: god to be them… I wouldn’t leave you alone like this!
landonorris: easy solution! Drop out of school and come with me!
↳papaya_girl: no!
↳landonorris: but then we wouldn’t be apart anymore!
↳maxfewtrell: don’t listen to him. One of you has to be educated
↳landonorris: oi!
↳papaya_girl: 😂😂
user4: i saw them! I was the one to take that picture of them at the Van Gogh exhibit!
↳user5: seriously!
↳papaya_girl: thank you for sending it to me! You’ve got an eye for good photos
↳user4: oh my god thank you!!
↳landonorris: all photos of you are amazing because they have you in them!
↳papaya_girl: cheesy
↳user4: ok you’re both stunning but on my comment thread?
alex_albon: you can keep him? I don’t think mclaren actually need him tbh
↳landonorris: HEY!
↳mclaren: sorry papaya_girl but it’s our turn with him now
↳papaya_girl: …I guess I can loan him out for a couple of weeks but you gotta feed him and let him get his exercise and come summer he’s mine again!
↳mclaren: pinky promise!
↳landonorris: WHAT?? This makes me sound like I’m a dog!!!
↳mclaren: we got your briefing packet and we’ll follow it to a T
↳landonorris: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? papaya_girl?? mclaren???
↳papaya_girl: I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this…
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: I’m unloved... Carelessly I’ve been abandoned…when will I find someone who loves me like that one guy loves his orange car…
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user6: god i volunteer
↳landonorris: nope! Try again
landonorris: I didn’t abandon you! Say the word and I’ll have plane tickets and an uber waiting for you
↳papaya_girl: I’ve never been so alone…it’s like I can hear his voice still…
↳oscarpiastri: that’s a haunting if I ever heard of one. You should call someone about that
↳landonorris: stop telling people i abandoned you! Or letting people think I’ve died!
↳papaya_girl: it’s like he’s still here, with me…
↳user7: girl I think you might be stressing Lando into an early heart attack
↳landonorris: SHE IS
user8: yes yes yes, you’ve been abandoned and left alone but girl…1) what are you studying and 2) your handwriting is so pretty!
↳papaya_girl: well I’m conflicted on answering cause on one hand you are minimizing my trauma but on the other hand that’s a nice compliment…
↳user9: (respectfully??)
↳papaya_girl: I guess that works… creative writing!
↳user10: damn…pretty and smart
↳papaya_girl: you know it!
↳landonorris: AND ALL MINE! BACK OFF 🤺🤺🤺
alex_albon: we wouldn’t abandon you papaya_girl
↳lilymhe: no we wouldn’t! We’ve got 2 hands for a reason
↳papaya_girl: packing my bags literally right now
↳landonorris: NO! BACK! OFF!! SHES MINE
↳papaya_girl: there it is again! His voice haunts me…
↳landonorris: I’m literally breaking down right now
maxverstappen1: I know some people. I can introduce you if you’d like?
↳papaya_girl: I’ll think about it!
↳landonorris: I’m going to run you over maxverstappen1. Stop trying to steal my girlfriend
↳maxverstappen1: mclaren you seeing this?
↳mclaren: 🧐🧐🧐
↳landonorris: THEY KEEP TRYING TO TAKE MY GIRLFRIEND
↳mclaren: don’t worry max, he’s got pr training scheduled in the morning
↳landonorris: I do??
↳mclaren: yup!
↳landonorris: fuck
↳maxverstappen1: 😂😂
user11: dude can’t catch a break…his girlfriend thinks he’s gone and his friends are helping her move on…
↳landonorris: THERE! WILL! BE! NO! MOVING! ON!!
↳landonorris: IM! NOT! DEAD! OR! GONE!!
↳user11: …ok there dude. Take a deep breath…
landonorris
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landonorris: SHES DONE! AND NOW SHES MINE!!
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user12: omg congrats!
↳user13: man oh man i know that feeling all too well
oscarpiastri: congrats papaya_girl! Now hurry up and join us — I can’t stand his moping anymore
↳landonorris: you muppet! I don’t mope!
↳papaya_girl: you don’t miss me??? 🥺🥺🥺
↳landonorris: of course I do!
↳oscarpiastri: so you do mope
↳papaya_girl: awwww
↳landonorris: you’re not allowed to gang up on me yet! You’re not even here!
↳papaya_girl: soon! I’ve just got a couple of things to wrap up before I leave!
↳landonorris: what??
↳papaya_girl: sorry baby
user14: season of graduates!
↳user15: woohoo!
↳papaya_girl: we did it! 🎉🥳
↳user15: yay!
↳user14: it was definitely iffy for a while there…
↳papaya_girl: you know it 😭
alex_albon: you mean we have to wait even longer before lando stops moping???
↳landonorris: I DONT MOPE. LEAVE ME ALONE
↳alex_albon: dude you mope like crazy
↳landonorris: no I don’t!
↳alex_albon: you do
↳oscarpiastri: you do
↳lilymhe: you do
↳charles_leclerc: you do
↳maxfewtrell: you do
↳maxverstappen1: you do
↳carlossainz55: you do
↳mclaren: you do
↳papaya_girl: you do 🤭🥰
user16: did lando really fly out in the middle of a triple header just to watch his girl graduate??
↳oscarpiastri: he made it very clear he wasn’t going to miss it…especially when it got moved to a Tuesday for some reason
↳papaya_girl: gotta love faulty plumbing I guess
↳oscarpiastri: if you say so…
↳landonorris: and me??
↳oscarpiastri: what?
↳landonorris: not you. papaya_girl??
↳papaya_girl: yes I love you too
↳landonorris: 🥰😍🥰😍🥰🥰😍🥰🥰😍😍🥰
↳papaya_girl: 😘🧡
↳user16: oh he’s down bad…
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: thanks to mclaren for giving my boyfriend another round of pr training! And thanks to Oscar for stealing his phone!
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user17: did you get mclaren to give him pr training just so you could secretly travel to meet up with him?
↳papaya_girl: yup!
↳user17: iconic
oscarpiastri: gotta admit — it was hard getting that phone away from him. He had a damn grip on it
↳papaya_girl: he always does!
↳papaya_girl: and it might have been partly my fault? I was texting him at the time…
↳oscarpiastri: 😑😑😑
↳papaya_girl: 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
↳oscarpiastri: need I remind you this was your plan?
↳papaya_girl: so I love texting my boyfriend…sue me
↳oscarpiastri: 🙄🙄
user18: god I’m so so so ready for papaya_girl track fits…
↳user20: I’m ready for the nonstop videos of them just 😍😍😍 at each other while ignoring everyone around them
↳papaya_girl: ok let’s roll it back a little…
↳user18: oops
↳papaya_girl: my fits will be comfortable and I do Not ignore other people while with lando
↳papaya_girl: I just have eyes for lando only
↳user20: iconic
↳user18: oh mood
↳papaya_girl: uhhh back off? He’s mine
alex_albon: oh thank god I don’t know how many more times I could listen to him moping and missing you
↳carlossainz55: you thought you had it bad??
↳oscarpiastri: oh I’ll beat you both in this fight
↳maxfewtrell: really?
mclaren: anything for you girl!
↳papaya_girl: 😘🧡💋
↳mclaren: ☺️☺️☺️
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: omg i forgot how much orange is not my color…
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user21: oh my god did you see lando when she appeared from around the corner???
↳user22: ohhhh the way he just slammed on the brakes and stared at her…
↳user21: their run towards one another is gonna be a staple on booktok for years!
↳user23: she’s stronger than me cause if my man looked at me like that he would NOT be going on to media duties afterwards…
↳user21: oh that’s a mood
user24: the way he dragged her around on his media duties…😍😍
↳user25: ok you say he dragged her but 100% she had the same tight ass grip on his hand
↳user24: oh yeah no — no one was gonna get her to leave his side today
↳papaya_girl: they were not!
landonorris: it’s papaya love and you look amazing in it! Especially when it’s got the #4 on it!
↳papaya_girl: ok I know you’re trying to be sweet but ORANGE is not my color and not even your number is enough to save it
↳landonorris: 🥺🥺🥺
↳papaya_girl: oh don’t worry baby I’ll still wear your number but it’ll be in a nice cool black
↳landonorris: good! Let everyone know you’re mine
↳papaya_girl: always baby
↳landonorris: 🥰🥰🥰
↳oscarpiastri: this is what I have to look forward to now isn’t it?
↳danielricciardo: from experience? Yes
↳carlossainz55: all the time. You won’t be able to get away from it
↳landonorris: you muppets! Go away
user26: god I need me a man that looks at me the way Lando looks at his girl…
↳user27: yeeesss
↳papaya_girl: never settle for anything less!
↳user26: got it 🫡
↳papaya_girl: but also return that sediment — don’t let him carry the entire relationship
↳user27: yes ma’am 🫡
mclaren: 🥺
↳papaya_girl: admin i love you but orange is not it
↳mclaren: 😢
↳papaya_girl: sorry not sorry
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: HE DIDIT!! MY BOY IS A RACE WINNER! P1 BABY!!!!!!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
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user28: GO LANDO!!
↳user29: Nowins no longer!
oscarpiastri: congrats man! Fantastic drive!
↳papaya_girl: MY BOU IS ARACE WINNER NKW!!!
↳oscarpiastri: I know. I was there. I’m still there in fact
↳papaya_girl: HE DID ITTTTT!!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡
↳user30: girl is going through it too 😂
user31: that’s our man!!! Woohoo!!
↳papaya_girl: MY MAN ONLY! MY RACE WJNNER!!! BACK OFF 🤺🤺🤺
↳user31: backing off 😂😂 congrats Lando!!
↳papaya_girl: P1!!!!!!!
maxverstappen1: phenomenal drive today man!
↳papaya_girl: P1!!! MY MAN LANDO!!
↳maxverstappen1: yes he did get p1 😂
charles_leclerc: glad to share the podium with you today lando!
↳papaya_girl: HES ON TOP LIKE HE DESERVES!!!
carlossainz55: knew you could do it! ¡Felicidades!
↳papaya_girl: HE DID IT!!
landonorris: P1!!! I FUCKING DID IT!
↳papaya_girl: YOU DID IT LOVE
↳landonorris: couldn’t have done it without you love
↳papaya_girl: YOU ABSOLUTELY COULD HAVE BUT DAMN AM I GLAD TO BE HERE FOR IT!!
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: P2 or P20, you’re P1 in my heart 🧡
But for real, my love, it’s been something else to be able to watch you race week after week and there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be! June is over and next is Silverstone!
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landonorris: that’s so cheesy
↳papaya_girl: I could always leave to start my masters program early??
↳landonorris: nope! I’m gonna handcuff you to me so you can never leave me again
↳papaya_girl: well that’s kinky
↳landonorris: …that’s not a no!
↳maxfewtrell: it is from me. Keep that shit to yourselves!
↳papaya_girl: just say you’re jealous he’s mine and move on
↳landonorris: 🧡🧡
oscarpiastri: fantastic first half of the season so far Lando! We’ll keep pushing
↳landonorris: you know it!
↳papaya_girl: congrats to you too osc on the amazing season so far!
↳oscarpiastri: thanks papaya_girl
user32: GO LANDO!!
↳papaya_girl: WOOHOO!
↳user33: Will you let him know how many fans are supporting him this season??
↳papaya_girl: he absolutely knows but I’ll be sure to tell him again!
↳user32: thank you!
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: Congratulations Lewis on your historic win today — Phenomenal race! I was glad I was here to see it 🧡
And congrats to my love on P2!
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user34: it was great to watch!
↳user35: god I’ve missed him on the top step…
↳user34: oh my god same
landonorris: but what about me??
↳papaya_girl: 1) sorry but are you 7 time world champion Lewis Hamilton?
↳landonorris: …I guess not 🥺🥺🥺
↳papaya_girl: 2) scroll through the rest of my page?? It’s literally a digital shrine to you
↳landonorris: it is!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
↳oscarpiastri: oh boy…
↳papaya_girl: I know
↳user36: we don’t! Share with the class please
↳papaya_girl: instead of mopey now he’ll be all cheery and lovey
↳landonorris: yes!!! 🥰😍🧡
↳user37: I mean if you don’t want him…
↳papaya_girl: Back! 🤺 Off! 🤺 He’s! 🤺 Mine! 🤺
lewishamilton: thank you papaya_girl
↳papaya_girl: oh my god Lewis Hamilton replied to me!
↳landonorris: you never act like with me???
↳landonorris: 🥺🥺🥺
↳papaya_girl: sorry but are you 7 time world champion Lewis Hamilton?
↳maxverstappen1: 😂😂😂
charles_leclerc: congrats Lewis!
user38: god I can’t imagine…how ungrateful she is, leaving her boyfriend to be an afterthought???
↳user39: right??? Like almost an entire post dedicated to one of his competitors and he’s just an afterthought
↳papaya_girl: stay crying about it! Lando knows how much he means to me
↳papaya_girl: and believe me — he knows how incredible I thought he was today 🥵😉🤤
↳landonorris: my girl!!
↳user40: the embodiment of “I’ve got your flower baby”
carlossainz55: ¡Felicidades!
georgerussell63: great race Lewis! Great push today — let’s keep the momentum going!
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: A difficult day today but I’m so so so proud of you my love — best believe this good karma will come around again.
And congratulations to Oscar on his first race win!! 2 orange boys getting their first wins this season!!
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user41: lowkey difficult to listen to but I did like watching these boys win
↳user42: oh I know. I was stressing and yelling at the tv. My family kept telling me to calm down
oscarpiastri: thanks papaya_girl. And thanks again for the drinks and the congrats cupcake 🧁
↳landonorris: you got a cupcake for your win?? papaya_girl where was mine???
↳papaya_girl: be so for real right now
↳landonorris: I want a cupcake!!
↳papaya_girl: you want a cupcake?? Over the best head of your life??
↳oscarpiastri: ok. I’m gonna shut down this conversation right now
↳papaya_girl: real quick — on the record he wants a cupcake more than sex
↳landonorris: ok let’s not go that far
↳oscarpiastri: let’s not go anywhere. Stop.
user43: mclaren I am in your walls and when I catch you…
↳user44: I know a guy
↳papaya_girl: mildly concerned right now, not gonna lie
↳user44: …he’s a nice guy??
↳papaya_girl: not the vibes I’m getting! Hope this helps
↳user43: 😂😂
landonorris: it papaya!! It’s literally in your name right now!!
↳papaya_girl: it’s still ugly! And not my color!
lewishamilton: great race guys 🖤
↳papaya_girl: oh my god he’s replying to me again 😍😍
↳landonorris: he was congratulating me!!
↳papaya_girl: but he was replying to me!
↳lewishamilton:😂
landonorris
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papaya_girl: this has been such a whirlwind year my love — I’m glad that we were able to take a few weeks to ourselves (and to Taylor Swift) to relax and decompress.
Now onto the second half of the season!!
comments have been restricted
landonorris: this past few weeks have been some of the best of my life baby and it all has to do with you. Best decision I ever made was to ask you out 🧡🧡
↳papaya_girl: awwwww 🥰🥰🥰 easiest yes of my life (ignoring how fast I said yes when you asked if I wanted to go to the eras tour…)
↳landonorris: yes I’m aware I come second to Taylor Swift
↳papaya_girl: noooooooo you’re my favorite person ever (but like if she asked??)
↳landonorris: 🙄🙄🙄 (I get it)
landonorris: and I promise you I’ll make you proud this upcoming second half
↳papaya_girl: my love…
↳papaya_girl: you already do.
↳papaya_girl: I can’t put into words how proud I already am of you
↳papaya_girl: you make me proud every time you get into that car and chase your dreams
↳papaya_girl: I’m never not proud of you
↳landonorris: 🥹😭
↳landonorris: brb gonna go cry my eyes out right now
↳papaya_girl: nooooo come back and let’s cuddle
↳landonorris: …ok 🥺🥺🥺
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: OH! MY! GOD! CONGRATULATIONS!! AGAIN!! CAUSE MY LOVE??? YOU’RE A 2 TIME F1 RACE WINNER!!!
It’s been the time of my life watching you this year and to see the first 2 (of many!) of your wins have been some of the best moments of my life.
Congratulations my love — you deserve this and so much more
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user48: OH MY GOD I WAS THERE AND IT WAS INSANE
↳user49: oh my god I bet…Lestappen post race we’re going through it
↳user48: god it was so so so good seeing him too step again
↳papaya_girl: it so so was
oscarpiastri: congrats man! Sad it wasn’t a double podium but great drive today
↳landonorris: oh mclaren 1-2s aren’t over yet!
↳papaya_girl: THEY BETTER NOT BE
↳papaya_girl: YOU GOTTA BE ON TOP MORE OFTEN
↳oscarpiastri: …again??? On my comment thread? TMI guys
↳papaya_girl: totally not what I meant but now that you mention it…Lando meet me in your drivers room, 5 minutes
↳landonorris: 🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨
↳oscarpiastri: SERIOUSLY???
user50: is this…is this how max fan’s felt like last year?
↳user51: as a max fan…yes it was. I want it back!
↳papaya_girl: not if we can help it! LN supremacy forever!
↳landonorris: you know it!
↳user50: and if we say LN1??
↳papaya_girl: I’d say you can see the future! 🧡🧡
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: and the 3rd time is definitely the charm! And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name
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user52: I was definitely one of them!
↳user54: god what i would have given to have been there…
↳user52: it was just���amazing
maxfewtrell: congrats man!
↳landonorris: thanks man! Glad you were here to see it!
↳papaya_girl: he did it again!!
↳landonorris: I did!!
↳papaya_girl: so proud of you baby!
↳maxfewtrell: do you just traumatize everyone on their comment threads then?
↳oscarpiastri: yes
↳papaya_girl: hey! It’s my post!
↳landonorris: oi!
user55: congrats lando!
maxverstappen1: i think this calls for a celebration! And the winner buys yeah?
↳charles_leclerc: absolutely!
↳alex_albon: oh we’re down!
↳georgerussell63: sounds good!
↳oscarpiastri: that’s a plan
↳carlossainz55: si!
↳landonorris: you muppets! I won so you should be buying ME drinks!
↳maxverstappen1: that’s not what you’ve been saying these past few years…
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: Carlos…you can’t have him. Lando is MY man, MY love
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carlossainz55: sorry not sorry but you’ll never understand our bond
↳papaya_girl: he was mine FIRST! BSCK OFF
↳carlossainz55: De repente no entiendo ingles
↳papaya_girl: 🤺🤺🤺
↳landonorris: 🥰🧡🧡🧡🧡
user56: carlando is back!
↳papaya_girl: it is not!!
↳carlossainz55: that’s not what everyone is saying
↳papaya_girl: back off you Spanish fuck 🤺🤺
↳carlossainz55: 🤺🤺🤛🏼🤛🏼
↳landonorris: ok ok ok. Let’s just all stop and think about our actions
↳user56: mom help me the girls are fighting
user57: according to the pictures, carlando sat next to each other at their dinner while the wags were relegated to the other side of the table…
↳user58: ouch…
↳papaya_girl: we might have been on the other side of the table but lando is gonna be on the other side of the bed
↳iamrebeccad: same
↳landonorris: WHAT??? NO???
↳carlossainz55: what??
↳papaya_girl: play stupid games win stupid prizes
↳iamrebeccad: ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻
↳carlossainz55: …well…
↳papaya_girl: 😑😑😑
↳landonorris: best not
↳papaya_girl: good answer
papaya_girl
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,633,234 others
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papaya_girl: Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close?
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user59: I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am to see the return of mushy romantic Lando
↳user60: that was my exact thoughts as well…after this entire season so far, I’m so glad that he’s got somewhere safe to go
↳papaya_girl: he always will
↳user60: good!
landonorris: I've loved you for far more then three summers now, baby, but I want 'em all
↳papaya_girl: you’ll have all my summers my love
↳landonorris: and your falls?
↳papaya_girl: springs and winters too.
↳landonorris: good 🥹🥰
↳papaya_girl: 😘🧡💋
↳landonorris: 🥰🥰🥰🧡🧡🧡
user61: ahhh the return of being called single over and over and over
↳user62: right?
maxfewtrell: he got you in the gym?
↳papaya_girl: i was physically in the gym
↳landonorris: she sat and took pictures of me while singing to Taylor
↳papaya_girl: as a good girlfriend would!
↳maxfewtrell: yeah that sounds about right!
↳papaya_girl: hey!
↳landonorris: 🤣🤣
papaya_girl
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,998,233 others
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papaya_girl: Vegas your lights shine so beautifully but I think I’ve been blinded by his eyes
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user63: I think we have an aspiring poet on our hands
↳user64: no but i understand her. That fourth picture…can you say new wallpaper???
landonorris: permission to be cheesy?
↳papaya_girl: since when do you ever ask??
↳landonorris: “It's a beautiful night, we're lookin' for somethin' dumb to do. Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you”
↳papaya_girl: LANDO NORRIS IF THIS IS AN ACTUAL PROPOSAL IM STEALING YOUR CAR AND RUNNJNG YOU OVER!!!
↳landonorris: woah
↳papaya_girl: we are NOT getting married in Vegas!!
↳papaya_girl: and you better have a better proposal plan then INSTAGRAM COMMENTS
↳landonorris: 📝📝📝
↳user65: …the whiplash I just suffered
↳papaya_girl: SAME
↳maxfewtrell: I think he managed to give everyone a heart attack
↳papaya_girl: he’s already fielding calls from his mother and sisters
↳maxfewtrell: probably serves him right
↳papaya_girl: it does!!
↳landonorris: THEY KEEP CALLING ME
↳papaya_girl: YOU PROPOSED THROUGH INSTAGRAM AND WANTED TK GET MARRIED IN VEGAS
↳landonorris: yeah ok
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: Lando, my love…I think today really showed what kind of driver you are. A time penalty that put you in last and you still managed to end up in the points…
1 more to go.
congrats on third Oscar!
comments have been limited
landonorris: I only did so well cause I knew you were watching
↳papaya_girl: no. You did so well today because you are a fantastic driver and good things (WDC and WCC things) are coming your way. Today had nothing to do with me — it was all you 😍🧡
↳landonorris: it was a little bit you but thank you babe 🧡
oscarpiastri: thanks papaya_girl
↳oscarpiastri: and congrats lando! Fantastic drive there
↳landonorris: thanks man
papaya_girl
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papaya_girl: 4 wins for my favorite #4!! I know I’ve said it again and again this year but Lando Norris it has been the best year of my life being able to follow you around and watch you live your dream. What a year… congratulations my love
Congratulations too to Oscar on your WCC!
(PS I think I might need to look for a boyfriend that looks at me the way that Lando looks at Carlos…)
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user66: …what on earth is happening in that 5th photo???
↳papaya_girl: if you figure it out, will you let me know?
carlossainz55: I told you you wouldn’t understand our bond papaya_girl
↳papaya_girl: 🖕🏻
↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣
↳landonorris: no no no baby let’s not do this
↳papaya_girl: fine
↳carlossainz55: fine
↳papaya_girl: he was very clearly talking to me!! His girlfriend!!
↳carlossainz55: if that’s what you want to think 🤔
↳papaya_girl: landonorris???
↳landonorris: ummmm…🏃🏻♂️💨💨💨
landonorris: you want to replace me🥺🥺🥺
↳papaya_girl: if you don’t stop giving heart eyes to that Spanish fucker…
↳carlossainz55: ha!
↳landonorris: baby (papaya_girl) you’re the only one for me
↳landonorris: and you have even been Mrs Norris by now if you had just said yes!
↳papaya_girl: again!! Not through instagram!
↳papaya_girl: and I’ll have to hyphenate…I can’t have the same name as the cat from Harry Potter…
↳landonorris: oi! You muppet!
↳papaya_girl: 🤷♀️🤷♀️
↳papaya_girl: your muppet though?
↳landonorris: always
↳carlossainz55: you used to say that to me
↳papaya_girl: go away
oscarpiastri: congrats mate! WCC this year WDC next year?
↳landonorris: you know it!
↳papaya_girl: you win a WDC at or before Vegas and I’ll say yes the next time you ask
↳landonorris: YES. ABSOLUTELY. IF YOURE LYING TO ME ILL START CRYIGN
#f1 smau#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 instagram au#f1 fic#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#lando norris#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1#formula one
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other side of the moon - chapter five | formula one imagine
pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli
one big car launch with every driver in attendance - what can go wrong?
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SERIES MASTERLIST
whatever bright spark decided that formula one needed one big, fancy car launch must want y/n dead. here she stood in one of the many green rooms in a black dress that’s a little too tight and an absolute pain to sit down in.
on one side of the room george sits in his dressing gown being doted on five different people while he talks down the phone in a tone too loud for the crowded room. kimi, on the other hand, sits on the couch on the other side, having waved off all of the people trying to smear yet another cream on his face.
“are you just going to be haunting me all season?” george said as he hung up the phone. glaring at y/n through the mirror.
“if i’m haunting you, does that mean you did something wrong?” y/n gasps, “am i the skeleton in your closet, georgie?”
the mercedes personnel in the green room were still, almost waiting for it to hit boiling point and all spill over. george and y/n stared each other down, waiting for someone to make the next move. george steadily looked y/n up and down, not being subtle at all. y/n raised her eyebrow at the brit.
“i could get used to you in my colours,” george said with a smirk.
“bore off russell, i don’t wear anything for you. these will be seen as kimi’s colours before you know it.”
a knock on the door signalled the start of the show. george stood up and took off his robe, revealing the new mercedes racesuit for the season. the brit made his way to the door but before he left, he turned to y/n and said, “don’t get too comfortable, i have my eye on you”
“oh georgie, you always have,” y/n flirted before schooling her face, “and how has that worked out for you?”
the brit pointed to his racesuit, “better than it has for you.”
that was a low blow, but y/n was prepared to play it that way if that was the game for the season. george looked at her again, as if to challenge her, but y/n stayed silent though her stare was unwavering. she had said a lot worse about herself to herself after the crash.
with that george turned and left, calling out to alex down the corridor.
“i really don’t understand him,” kimi said, “it was only like a week or two ago he was cussing you out in monaco, then today he checks you out but then threatens you like two seconds later?”
“first lesson of the year, kimi. do not trust a word that man says to you.”
the pair linked arms and made their way out of the green room. there was a gaggle of drivers at the end of the corridor, all decked out in their racesuits except the ferrari boys who were in normal suits. the group fell silent as they all turned to see the new arrivals.
“i didn’t know it was bring your mum to work day?” alex called out as they neared the group, smiling as he came to hug her.
a french-accented voice hollered a ‘milf’ from the back of the group, y/n suspected it was pierre, but paid no mind. an offended squeak followed as y/n looked up to see max delivering a slap to the back of his head.
“i’m just dropping him off, i gotta get to my seat before i’m roped into an interview. i had to sneak in this afternoon, i swear sky sports are like stalking me!”
the group watched along as y/n leaned in to whisper into kimi’s ear, “remember what i told you. smile, be likeable and tell jokes. these people are underestimating you, let them. we’ll do our real talking in the car. good luck and try and have some fun.”
the pair did their ‘handshake’, which really was just a pinky promise, and broke apart. y/n looks back at the group one more time, smiles at max and takes her leave. just a couple paces down the corridor, a voice called out her name.
“y/n, hey!” lewis called, catching up to her quickly, “i didn’t think i’d see you back here tonight.”
“i wasn’t planning on it, to be fair. kimi is technically an adult now, but i still didn’t want to leave him on his own here of all places.”
lewis laughed as the pair looked back at the group. kimi had nestled himself next to ollie, quietly talking to each other with esteban looking over both of them. y/n caught the gaze of esteban and the frenchman gave her a quick nod before inserting himself into the conversation. the height difference between kimi and esteban was comical, but y/n was happy knowing esteban would look out for him in places she couldn’t be.
“i didn’t think you would like the whole mentor role, being so young and everything, but you seem to be doing a good job.”
“thank you lewis, but honestly he makes it very easy,” y/n looked at the group again with a fond look on her face.
lewis brought his hand to her face and made her look at him, “i thought i’d never see that look on your face again.”
y/n looked down and blushed, shaking lewis’ hand off. “i am happy. a lot happier than i expected to be, anyway.”
“i’m happy that you’re happy. i’m happy you’re back, i won’t keep my distance this time, even if you’re in the home of the enemy now.”
y/n laughed, “well i thought it was bad going back to your ex, and look at me now. so maybe they’re not as much as an enemy as you think.”
an announcement from further down the corridor cute the conversation there, lewis tries not to look bothered, but y/n can still tell.
“looks like you’re needed elsewhere, superstar,” y/n said with a wink, “try not to let charles outshine you too much.”
“he wishes.”
y/n watched him walk away and was confused. lewis had never expressed interest in her before, platonic or romantic. even when she was a young rookie with stars in her eyes, she was never on his radar. was she now? the visit in london had been weird and the way his eyes had been fixed on her since she arrived today was even weirder.
y/n didn’t really have the time to be grappling with that struggle today, not with everything else going on. the audience seemed like enough distance between her and lando, but after monaco, there was no real knowing what could happen. george was just as confusing as his compatriot, with harsh words but also a glimmer of something else too.
she needed a glass of champagne pronto.
max watched the interaction between y/n and lewis like a hawk, so focused that he didn’t realise that he had formed quite an audience. nico hulkenberg, kimi, ollie and esteban watched him try and conceal his feelings, but his face showed every thought.
“you want to make it any more obvious that you’re jealous?” nico said, nudging max to break him out of his daze.
“i’m not jealous, i just wonder what they actually have to talk about…”
“you’re not jealous you say? you didn’t even glare at him this much during 2021.” esteban chimed in.
max furrowed his brows and forced himself to look away. he already felt guilty for harbouring these feelings for y/n and now he’s faced with a curious look from kimi, making him feel even worse. he did not want to make the same mistake as lando and george had in the past. he meant it when he said he just wanted to exist with her.
“kimi, how would you feel about having max as your dad?” ollie said, hiding slightly behind esteban.
“he’s very good with the cats?”
“thanks, that’s such a glowing recommendation, kimi, thanks!”
kimi held up his hands in surrender but max couldn’t be angry at the italian - plus he did take very good care of his cats and brando. in fact, he had nearly thrown his back out, much to red bull’s chagrin, building a new cat tower so brando could watch the birds from his preferred spot. the cat had settled in well in his place in monaco while y/n had been staying, the dutchman didn’t want to think too much about what it could mean, but it was on his mind.
“i just mean i caught you googling how to make sure your cat is getting enough vitamin d because you were worried about how cloudy it’s been in monaco?”
kimi tried to backpedal, but his anecdote was overheard by more drivers, bringing them into the conversation.
“are you being for real? vitamins are just pseudoscience dude,” pierre said but isack popped his head into the circle to say, “vitamins are real? and vitamin d deficiency is actually a really huge problem.”
“thank you isack!”
“as if i’m taking health advice from a rookie,” pierre laughed. yuki took his turn to pipe up next, “i saw you eat a whole jar of peanut butter in one sitting last winter break? what do you know about health?”
“why is it gang up on pierre hour? why aren’t we focusing on the real issue here? like how pathetic max is about y/n?”
max sputtered as even more drivers joined the conversation.
“i am not pathetic. brando is practically my son. kimi back me up, doesn’t he love me?”
“he does -” kimi started defending max before charles butted in with a: “calling for help from the other son? we see how it is verstappen.”
this was a losing battle. max just hoped it stayed this light hearted but he saw lando and george approaching the group.
“max is not my dad, but i wouldn’t mind. he drove all the way to nice to pick up my parcel because i didn’t understand monaco postal charges!”
poor kimi was trying to help, but he was just making it inadvertently worse.
“this is making your pseudoadoption last year look like child’s play, oscar,” alex said, earning him a whack from charles.
“kimi is not my son, but that doesn’t mean i won’t look out for him. this is a horrible place to come when you’re already disliked. some people, not naming names, have made it clear they have a problem with him and y/n, so it’s simply my moral duty to look out for him.”
the group quietened down, looking amongst each other.
“why am i so out of the loop, who is bullying this literal child?” nico said, pulling kimi into his chest, the italian letting out a squeak as the german petted him. “so? do tell.”
for two people who were very eager to call y/n and kimi every name under the sun just a week ago, they were very silent in that moment.
“oh! we’re talking about the lovely cocktail party i threw that was ruined by lando and george!” charles blurted out, he grabbed fernando’s hand, “it was so nice, i even brought olives, but they came in spouting all this shit about y/n and kimi and seduction and older women?”
both brits scratched the backs of their necks. the cocktail party drama was not a good move from them, especially so close to the start of the season.
“it wasn’t quite like that?” george hurried out.
“you accused y/n of trying to sleep with me?” oscar said.
“you said that i was going the max verstappen route of getting with an older ‘problematic’ woman?” kimi added from nico’s side.
“you also kinda implicated yourself in y/n’s crash?” alex heaped on for good measure.
“alex!?” george and lando shouted, “whose side are you meant to be on?”
“i’m not on a “side” because i’m not fucking five, but i will point out hypocrisy and stupidity and that’s both of you. come on, it’s 2025 and you guys are still stuck in like 2017.”
“right, i feel really stupid because what the fuck are you people talking about and why wasn’t i invited to this party?” fernando said, a confused look on his face.
“lando and george are still hung up on y/n years later even though she never actually expressed interest in them, max has the best odds on actually sealing the deal and i don’t know, kimi is getting shit because he brought her back and none of them can actually regulate their emotions!” charles said, exasperated, “keep up grandpa, you’ve been here the whole time!”
“i do not have the ‘best odds’ because y/n isn’t a horse, you don’t bet on women?” max bit back.
“actually i bet on women all the time,” yuki said but when he saw how the group were looking at him he added, “ufc, duh!”
even as they were herded towards the backstage, the group continued bickering like children.
“all i’m saying is that your crush is super obvious and you need to be careful! y/n will know and will use it against you, just look at what happened with me and george!” lando hissed at max.
the dutchman glared at the brit, this really had gone too far. “can you like actually give me an example of where she ‘led you on’ i am genuinely curious,” max snipped, “quickly.”
lando immediately looked at the floor and bit his lip. max began tapping his foot with an impatient look.
“well she would be super flirty with me in the videos the team would make us film?” lando didn’t sound convinced, and max didn’t buy a single second of it.
“if that’s what you think flirting is i feel sorry for all of your ex girlfriends, you must be a horrible boyfriend - ouch!” charles was cut off by a shove from george.
“stay out of this charles!”
“i won’t stay out of this, y/n is actually a friend of mine. yeah that’s right she doesn’t hate me because i don’t assume that any girl who is fractionally nice to me is in love with me.”
“lando you basically tortured that girl her entire formula one career, do you need to do it now as well?” max said, “i think this season will be a lot easier for you if you drop this now.”
“is that a threat?”
“it’s a promise.”
all the bickering surrounding the pair ceased, tension rising in the air. the call for the mclaren boys drew lando out of his stare down with max. the brit joined oscar at the front of the queue and painted on his PR smile.
y/n had found her way to her seat, flanked by natalie pinkham on one side and jenson button on the other. there goes her plans for a quiet evening.
“so the rumours are true,” jenson said before jumping up to give her a hug, “i’ve missed you, rocky”
y/n flushed at the nickname. since her first ever race in formula one, jenson had crowned her his ‘pocket rocket’ which had eventually been worn down to just rocky. she hadn’t heard it in so long, jenson’s appearances being relegated to messages via sara or flowers that only gave away his identity with the use of rocky.
“did sky set up this seating arrangement? are you going to ambush me for an interview?”
“i can’t believe you’d think so low of me,” jenson clutched at his imaginary pearls, “and as if you can say no to me anyway.”
the pair took their seats as the show started. natalie handed her a glass of champagne and whispered in her ear, “you might need this.” well that doesn’t bode well.
the two mclaren drivers made their way out onto stage, joined by zak and andrea. y/n leaned into jenson, “i don’t understand why he insists on being everywhere, have we not suffered enough?”
jenson tried to stifle his laugh, “are you sure you don’t want to work in commentary?”
“i think it’s best i keep my opinion on these men to myself.”
the mclaren spiel followed the closely the same scripts they used when y/n still raced for them, though a healthy dose of constructors champions boasting had been added. a second questionable decision from formula one reared it’s head when nico rosberg asked his first unscripted question:
“so boys, how do you feel about the return of former mclaren driver y/n y/ln to the paddock? excited to see her?”
y/n swore she could see lando’s eye twitch from her front row seat. there was an awkward pause and y/n could feel the rest of the audience tense. even though the general public didn’t know the ins and outs of the fall out, there was definitely rising suspicion.
nico found y/n in the audience and gave her such a shit-eating grin that she almost didn’t care about the situation he just put her in.
“we’re of course over the moon to see her back in the paddock. i know i’ve harboured a lot of guilt as to how i ended up with my seat, so i’m happy that y/n can see me in action and hopefully i can continue to make her proud!” oscar said with a genuine smile, the only convincing one from the men clad in orange.
“continue to?” nico asked, “have you had confirmation of this?”
y/n’s eyes snapped to oscar who despite receiving glares from his boss, continued on.
“we spoke at charles’ cocktail party. i’ve always been a fan of hers and it was great to finally set the record straight. she was a lot more graceful than i would’ve been in her position. to be honest i was a bit of a weepy mess, but she was very supportive. i’m only slightly jealous of kimi…”
“very nice. did you get any insight on her opinion on hungary?” nico pushed, only to be cut off by zak.
“if you so desperately want her opinion on everything, you can wait until you’re on sky’s dime. this is a car launch, no? we’re confident in our car for this season and intend on winning both championships. and do you know how we’re going to do that? with the two drivers on stage right now, not one who was a flash in the pan four years ago.”
you could hear a pin drop in the venue. even lando had a shocked look on his face as he and oscar exchanged a look.
“that’s fighting talk from the man who ended her career, but what do i know?” nico said sharply but then turned to the audience, “ladies and gentlemen, mclaren!”
there was tentative applause from crowd and when y/n and oscar made eye contact she gave him a small smile. this was only the first team…
nico looked for y/n in the front row and gave her a thumbs up to which she shook her head violently. jenson burst out laughing, “well, i don’t think we’ll be having this as the car launch format again.”
“i don’t know about you but i’m throughly entertained,” natalie said, “if nico was like that with mclaren, i can’t wait for ferrari!”
the next few teams were decidedly less dramatic. y/n could see kimi and george lining up next to come on stage and she hoped the italian remembered her advice.
george walked on stage with confident strides, followed by toto and finally kimi. the italian looked out at the audience, squinting from the harsh lights but calming his features when he saw y/n. she gave him a thumbs up and got a smile in return.
“you’re loving this mum role aren’t you?” jenson said.
“you’re making me feel old, stop. but yes i would kill myself if anything happened to him, so i guess so.”
back on stage, nico had started his interview. first toto was being grilled about the hopes for the season and how life at mercedes would be without lewis hamilton. the german was clearly trying to bait his former boss into giving him a juicy soundbite.
“kimi, let’s come to you now. you’re first season in formula one and you’ve already brought in the big guns? y/n y/ln as your mentor, that’s a big statement.”
kimi looked startled and his eyes snapped to meet y/n’s. she nodded to him, urging him to answer.
“why wouldn’t i want a legend of the sport like her as my mentor? she still knows what she’s doing, and if it ruffles some feathers in the paddock at the same time, what’s the harm?”
she was so proud of her protégé. jenson choked on his champagne at kimi’s answer, “kids got balls.”
“well, well, well. you’re not beating around the bush are you? but do tell me, kimi, what’s so special about you that y/n would come out of retirement?”
“i’ll save that answer for australia, nico,” kimi said, surprised by the laughs from the audience, “but maybe i’ve just got a charm the rest of the grid doesn’t?”
“holy shit,” natalie said, “was this the strategy, y/n?”
“i told him to make them like him? are you not entertained?”
nico, for once, was speechless on stage. george huffed next to toto, waiting for his turn to talk. the german clocked onto this and a devilish smile broke out on his face.
“so george, you and y/n grew up together… do you not have charm? as far as we can tell, you haven’t spoken to y/n in years?”
y/n’s mouth dropped open. jenson was right, there’s no way this format, at least with nico hosting, was ever happening again.
“i have more than enough charm, thank you nico. are you going to ask us anymore questions about the season or is it all just tabloid questions from you tonight?”
“tabloid?! well, now that makes me think you’ve got something to hide… but as for your 2025 season, are you afraid that you might lose to an 18-year-old rookie?”
george sputtered in response, “i have no fear of losing, i just beat a seven time world champion, a rookie, no offence, has no bearing on my season.”
“that’s a big claim, george. you better hope you stick to it. it’ll be your sixth season in formula one, do you think you’ll finally be able to claim the number one driver role?”
george’s face was getting redder and redder as he tried to remain calm. he made eye contact with y/n briefly, giving her the subtlest glare he could.
“i think i made a very good case for myself for the last two seasons and toto has faith in me to lead this team back to where they should be.”
nico had a wolfish grin on his face, he was enjoying this psychological torture a little too much.
“you don’t think toto has more faith in kimi, a driver he allowed to skip an entire step on the junior ladder and is giving his formula one debut at just 18? and straight into a mercedes rather than say… a williams?”
george’s shiny mask was starting to slip. this was meant to be a fun event for fans but had descended into a nico rosberg masterclass of making everyone suffer - and for once y/n was enjoying it.
“classy as always, nico,” george said.
“it’s what i do best,” nico laughed to himself, “back to you kimi, are you intimidated at all by your senior teammate? do you think you can make a case for yourself as the number one driver?”
the italian paused for a moment, thinking to y/n’s advice - he needed people to like him.
“i’m more than happy to play a team game to bring mercedes back to the top,” he smiled to toto, “but make no mistake i’m here to win and i won’t just step aside without good reason.”
“well, this is a duo i’ll be watching closely this season. mercedes!”
the trio shuffled off of stage and y/n let out a sigh of relief, she could throw back as much champagne as she wanted now.
another couple of teams made their way past nico’s questioning, but as nico hulkenberg and gabriel bortoleto made their way off of the stage the audience held their breath. next was ferrari.
charles, lewis and fred vasseur made their way on stage, and as has become classic fashion, lewis situated himself as far from nico as possible.
“welcome, welcome. a different line up this year and much to think about, do you think you can finally bring the championship back to italy?”
fred started on what was likely a pre-written script and y/n tuned out for a second. the ferrari boys looked nothing short of glamorous in their tailored black suits with the yellow of the ferrari logo popping on the left breast. both men looked assured, no nerves, just pure confidence - the type of confidence that draws you to a person.
y/n caught lewis’ eye and he gave her a quick wink, something that did not go unnoticed by jenson beside her.
“what was that all about, rocky?” jenson whispered. y/n kept looking forward, ignoring jenson’s stare burning into the side of her head. the brit kept poking her, “i’m not going to stop until you answer me!”
y/n batted his hand away, “i don’t know what you’re talking about old man, leave me alone!”
“i saw that, hell, the whole place saw that! you are aware that is a man 14 years your senior!”
y/n downed her champagne and whispered to jenson, “listen, i don’t know what the fuck is happening! he came to my apartment and he’s being really nice? i don’t know?!”
jenson looked between the two and grabbed his own champagne. “i was teammates with that guy! you might be a grown up now but he’s really old!”
y/n slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her laughing out loud. jenson did have a point. was lewis actually flirting with her or was he just being nice? was she falling into the same headspace that lando and george were in with her?
“i am not going to get with lewis, jens. he’s just being nice, that’s all. now shut up i want to see if nico makes the brocedes breakup all of our problem.”
nico had finished his interrogation of charles and set his sights on his former teammate. y/n grabbed jenson’s hand in anticipation.
“so lewis, new team, new you? how do you feel coming into a team where charles has dominated for the last five years?”
lewis gives nico a forced smile, “i am excited for the challenge. there’s a lot of changes coming into this season, people leaving and new faces. it’s best to face a challenge head on rather than running.”
“you didn’t run from mercedes? you didn’t want to stick it out and retire with the team that gave you so much success?”
“you’d know all about running wouldn’t you nico?”
y/n dropped her glass of champagne and the rest of the audience gasped but nico did not look phased at all.
“i am happy with my decision, time will tell if you’ll be happy with yours. charles dealt with sebastian, don’t think he’ll roll over for you.”
charles looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but on stage and fred’s face would tell you he’s at the gallows rather than a car launch.
“was in your brief today to make the vibes in here as rancid as possible? as i said i am excited for the season ahead and nothing you can say today will change that.”
lewis took the lead and left the stage, leaving nico alone with a pleased look on his face. the german found y/n’s gaze again and wiggled his eyebrows. if there was ever a man you need to take the heat off of you, he was the one.
there was one final team to go and this entire nightmare of a night would be over. the final team was none other than red bull - nothing could possibly go wrong here could they?
christian, like the other team principals, started with a long-winded spiel that said a whole lot of nothing. y/n smiled widely when she caught max’s eye and he responded with an eye roll directed at christian’s rambling. the dutchman, for a second, had forgotten he was in fact on stage in front of thousands. the pair stare at each other and bite their lips to keep the laughs in.
jenson leaned in again, “not to keep questioning you, but what is happening here? and don’t lie, i know he’s the only one you kept in contact with and who you have been staying with in monaco.”
“it’s nothing! it’s something? i don’t know what it is? we’re just existing together. i think romance in the paddock is the worst thing for me right now. i need to be fully focused on kimi.”
“first of all - we’re exisiting together? that’s so fucking gross. and two - you’re still allowed to have fun?” jenson wiggled his eyebrows.
“not everyone can be the playboy of formula one, stud.”
“true. i’m not sure you have the devilishly good looks to be a playboy - hey”
y/n snatched his glass of champagne and turned back towards the stage just as max took to the microphone.
“so max, do you think there’s a chance of a fifth title in a row?”
max laughed in his signature way, “here i thought you’d gotten all of your aggression out with lewis. we’ll have to see how we line up against the other teams, but you always have to believe you can win every single race, so that’s what i’ll continue to do.”
a quick glance from nico told y/n that her peaceful night hadn’t started just yet.
“you’ll finally have your best friend back in the paddock, are you still excited even though she’ll be in mercedes uniform?”
“i think toto has another thing coming if he thinks she’ll be wearing that ugly uniform,” max said, “but it makes no difference to me what garage y/n is in, we’re like magnets, you can’t keep us a part for long.”
nico hummed, “is that why you were the only one she kept in contact with after the crash?”
“yes? it’s mostly because we’re best friends but also because i’m a decent human being.”
oh fuck.
“how do you mean, max?”
christian tried to butt in, “i don’t think we need to go into that here.”
“oh i’m more than happy to, and nico has been stirring all night, what’s just a little more to add to the pot?”
you could almost hear the audience shuffling to the edge of their seats and for the first time that evening, y/n felt some of the cameras on her. she gave them a small wave and hoped they would pan back to the actual action.
“all i’m saying is that there are a lot of victim complexes in the paddock, it’s full of people who would rather say ‘i don’t know why she doesn’t talk to me?’ rather than do some actual introspection. y/n will talk to you if you’re not an asshole, just as kimi.”
“so you’re saying there’s a truth to the rumours?”
“which rumours? you know, since your employers like to report on so many?”
nico chuckled, “well, the rumours that perhaps the brits in the paddock didn’t get on as well as we were led to believe?”
max smiled, “well, that’s not my story to tell, but i’ve found that if you ask them, they’re more than happy to give you the scoop.”
for a moment, y/n’s heart stopped, fearing that nico would take this as the chance to bring her into the fray. max seemed to sense this as well and added, “but as for me, i’m just happy she’s back in any capacity. i’ve missed my partner in crime.”
“have you spoken about formula one in her break at all? you won all four of your titles in that time?”
“i know she watched it, but we haven’t spoken about it. i respected her boundaries at the time, but i knew she was watching based on some suspiciously timed texts.”
nico laughed, “i’m not sure we can ever stay away from this sport for long.”
“i’m glad that is the case,” max said, more to himself than anyone else.
the red bull boys were ushered off of the stage as nico delivered his closing remarks and announced the musical guests.
“he’s glad that’s the case? oh he’s in deep,” jenson gasped, “you can’t tell me that’s nothing, i rebuke it right this second.”
y/n sighed, standing and heading to the backstage bar. “i really don’t want to think about it jenson.”
“but you’re staying at his house, he’s building shit for your cat and gushing about you on stage!”
“i am well aware, but i don’t really know what you want me to do about that?”
“i want you to get your man and let him treat you how you’re supposed to be!”
y/n picked up another glass of champagne, talking the biggest sip before replying to jenson.
“you’re just as bad as the girls on twitter sometimes.”
kimi bursts through the doors, back in his comfy clothes, and rushes over to y/n. she wraps the italian into a hug.
“i’m so proud of you!”
kimi blushes, rocking back and forth on his feet, “thank you, y/n! i’m so glad we’ve got this out of the way i’m ready to race now!”
jenson laughed along side them, “an eager one, this one. i remember when i had that much energy.”
the rest of the drivers flooded into the room, grabbing drinks or just taking a seat. max, much like kimi, made his way straight to y/n, also pulling her into his chest. he whispered in her ear, “i’m sorry i got carried away talking about you, i just can’t help myself.”
y/n can’t help but feel the butterflies in her stomach at the confession. she was really trying to keep her feelings out of her return to formula one, but seeing max like this was putting a real spanner in the works. the dutchman’s protective nature along side his intense respect for her made her feel special for the first time since the crash.
“i take no offence, maxy. i’ll never say no to a compliment, especially from you.”
the group moves away from the bar and as they settle into their seats backstage, max’s arm wraps around her waist. y/n knew she shouldn’t do it, not here in front of everyone but that’s what her heart wanted. the first few weeks into her return and all the drama was wearing on her and they hadn’t even made it to the paddock yet. she snuggled into max’s side, letting the dutchman brush her hair out of her face.
“y/n?” kimi said from the other side of her, “i’m really happy you’re here, and i hope you’ll let yourself have this,” kimi motioned to max, who was deep in conversation with jenson.
“don’t you worry about that, kimi.”
“you’ve punished yourself for years, please don’t keep telling yourself that you’re not allowed this. also don’t wait up for me, i’m going to crash at ollie’s”
kimi said as his departing gift as he went to catch up with ollie and watch some of the music. y/n let herself relax back into max’s hold and her eyes close, all of the pent up stress of the evening rushing out.
“are we really that boring?” jenson asked.
“do you want to get out of here, y/n?” max asked, when y/n flopped further onto him, he took that as his answer.
grabbing her bag, max took y/n’s hand in his and pulled her from the seat. the pair exchanged hugs with jenson and made a quiet exit from backstage. they tried to be as subtle as possible, but nothing is ever secret in formula one.
jenson slid in beside lewis at the bar.
“you want to tell me what your plan is with her?”
lewis looked at his former teammate in confusion.
“i saw that wink and i know you were flirting with her when you went to her apartment. what’s the plan, you’re 14 years older than her?”
“i don’t have a plan? i felt bad about how i was when she was in formula one, i’m just trying to make her feel welcome again.”
“and winking at her at a televised event is definitely going to help?”
lewis scoffed, “i don’t really like what you’re implying.”
“i’m implying that you need to watch your step, seriously. the vultures are just waiting for her to make one wrong step, don’t give them an excuse to call her a gold digger or anything along those lines.”
“and what if i said i did like her?”
“i’d ask you if you actually know her? you didn’t speak to her after the crash, you didn’t speak to her when she was in the sport so i’m confused to where this would have come from?”
“you can drop the dad act jenson, i’m just being friendly. it looks like max got in there first anyway.”
jenson hummed, “not everything is a competition.”
y/n and max climbed into max’s hire car for the weekend and finally let themselves breathe.
“that was a lot,” y/n said, slipping off her heels, “nico really was out for blood.”
“i found it entertaining, but that usually is a death wish for anything in formula one.”
the pair laughed, and as max turned the ignition, y/n’s taylor swift playlist crackled into life.
“are you heading back to your hotel or do you want to crash at mine?” y/n asked as she put her address into the gps, despite max knowing nearly every route across london to her apartment.
“a chance to avoid team duties for as long as possible? count me in!”
“so you don’t want to spend more time with me? just want to avoid your team?”
max placed his hand on her thigh, “you know i always want to spend more time with you.”
the streets were relatively clear at this time with the event still in swing. max weaved through traffic as they entered west london. the dutchman nestled his car in y/n’s spot for her pink cadillac that was still in monaco. y/n started to fiddle with her heels to put them back on, but max stopped her.
he walked round to her side of the car and picked up her up bridal style. y/n giggled and wrapped her arms around max’s neck. the pair made their way up to her apartment as fast as possible, but made sure to say hi to frank who not so subtlety gave y/n a thumbs up and a wink.
the apartment was quiet without the meows of brando who was also back in monaco with jimmy and sassy. max stopped in the kitchen to pour two glasses of water but y/n went ahead to the bathroom to wash off the grime of the event.
she slipped into bed dressed in her pjamas that consisted of some old gym shorts and one of max’s toro rosso shirts. the dutchman knocked on her door.
“come in, maxy.”
max made his way into the room, placing the glass of water on her beside table. he sat on the edge of the bed, “good night, try not to dream of me too much.” the dutchman leaned down to give her a kiss on the forehead before moving back towards the door.
“max?”
“yes?”
“will you stay with me?”
“always.”
max got under the covers and tentatively reached out to her. sensing the apprehension, y/n turned over and tucked herself under max’s chin. his arms snuck around her waist and for the first time in three years, y/n finally slept peacefully without the images of her crash.
fin.
note: sorry this took so long, i've been a bit of a writing rut but i'm back!
taglist: @folkloresreputation @hc-dutch @shimmermotorsport @96mcobo @eclipsedcherry @formulaal @czennieszn @gothicwidowsworld @emily-b @suns3treading @henna006 @kazgirl20 @anotherapollokid @littlegrapejuice @daemyratwst @annimausi @yawn-zi @lulu-1998 @xsilkesworld @justaf1girl @daddyslittlevillain @evans-dejong @abq654 @elizamoe133 @wierdflowerpower @t1nkerbel1 @okcurran @raizelchrysanderoctavius @skepvids @multilovebot @fernandoalonso14 @jules-kup-172 @m4xgirlie @rorabelle15 @minkyungseokie @formula1-motogpfan @peterholland04 @miureiz @freyathehuntress @lighttsoutlewis @aleatorio1234 @chaosandevelyn@blueberry648579@dog-and-cat-person230@fastandcurious16@obxstiles@cosmicwintr@becca388510@savagittariuspy@tibadi @thisbitxhs-blog @finn-dot-com @scenesofobx @moofilms @alilstressyandlotdepressy @nana-love-bugzzz @mayax2o07 @obsessed-fan-alert @1-queenofpotatoes-1 @jajouska @poppysrin @mimimarvelingmarvel @jiyumie @heeseungthel0ml
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen#charles leclerc#kimi antonelli#ollie bearman#jenson button#lewis hamilton#george russell#alex albon#pierre gasly#yuki tsunoda#nico rosberg
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꒰ STURNIOZ KINKTOBER '24 ꒱ !
fratboy!chris takes shy!reader to a haunted house at a carnival where she ends up in his arms for more reasons that one.
you weren't a brave person.
you could barely even watch a scary movie without shivering in fear, so why did chris think it was a good idea to drag you to a haunted house? the carnival was pretty, you admit to that, and the smell of popcorn made your mouth water, but the haunted houses that loomed before you ominously made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
it was the scare actors that loitered outside that made it worse for you too; clad in ripped costumes and scarily accurate makeup, their sinister grins and contact eyes making your stomach churn. they stalked the crowd, creeping up behind people to hear their screams of terror.
you feel a knot tighten in your chest, a mix of dread and embarrassment as you cling to your friend's arm, desperately hiding your face in her shoulder as you near closer and closer towards the house.
but then, much to your dismay, nate swoops in and hoists her over his shoulder, laughing as he dashed into the haunted house with her giggling through screams. you stand frozen outside the entrance, your heart pounding in your ears as you help up the queue.
there's no way you're going in there. no way. not a chance.
"move, kid," chris's voice slices through your thoughts, his hand gripping your bicep as he pulls you into the dark abyss of the haunted house before you could even protest.
as the door slams shut behind you, darkness envelopes you immediately, and you can hear every little sound around you — the shuffling of feet, the low growls echoing in the shadows. you instinctively press yourself against chris' side, gripping his sweatshirt like a lifeline.
"get off me... actin' like a fuckin'—" he grumbles under his breath, but you can barely register his words as you're far too busy wishing you could disappear, your pulse quickening with every creak of the floorboards and every sinister whisper that seems to swirl around you.
with each hesitant step deeper into the haunted house, your anxiety spikes, the flickering lights above your heads casting eerie shadows that dance on the walls, and you can feel the presence of scare actors lurking just out of sight, ready to pounce.
you fight the urge to scream, your mind racing with thoughts of escape, but you grip chris tighter, shoving your face into his arm to block out the terrifying sights around you.
"it's not even scary, kid. it's pathetic," chris says disinterestedly, his tone dripping with disdain, clearly unfazed by everything. "just bein' all dramatic 'n shit.. you crybaby."
"i'm not even crying," you shoot back to defend yourself, a pout forming on your lips as you peek out from behind his arm to glare at him weakly. "and it is sca—"
before you can finish, someone leaps out of the shadows with a high=pitched shriek, black hair covering their face and warms outstretched towards you, sending a jolt of pure fear coursing through you.
you scream, throwing yourself against chris' chest, burying your face into his sweater as you cling to his waist, refusing to let go.
you can feel him snort, and it only makes your cheeks grow warm with embarrassment. "ah... don't worry, kid. m'gonna keep you alll safe," his voice drips with condescension, and you hate how much it bothers you when he pats the top of your head mockingly.
he continues to walk forward, awkwardly shuffling with you still clinging tightly, determined not to let go or even glance at where you're going. every sound—every scream from the actors—makes you jump and whine, and you can't help but feel they're doing an excellent fucking job at their terrifying roles.
yet, you refuse to spare them a look as chris twists and turns through the dim hallways, ignoring the sounds of his frustrated grunts every time you press yourself against him at the sound of approaching footsteps.
"kid, you gotta stop movin'," he whispers in your ear, but you barely listen, desperate to get out and leave the haunted house as you jump again when another sudden noise startles you,, accidentally rubbing up against him. "shit. you doin' this on purpose or somethin'? you tryin' to piss me off? makin' me fuckin; hard in haunted house — jesus."
"i hate it in here," you whine pathetically, your voice trembling, completely oblivious to how your constant jumping and the way you cling to him is clearly affecting him. "i wanna go. i wanna leave."
"don't be a baby," chris scoffs, watching as you bury your face deeper into his chest. he clicks his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head in disbelief. "this is stupid. you're not even lookin' at them; you're just hidin', and you're still scared?"
when you don't reply, chris scoffs again, rolling his eyes. despite his irritation, he awkwardly shuffles forward again, using one arm to wrap around your shoulders as he navigates through the twisting hallways, the sounds of horrors beginning to fade away.
suddenly, you hear him push open a door, and you stumble slightly as he guides you inside, still clinging to him for dear life. "a'ight, let go of me, kid s'just me 'n you in here."
hesitant, you remain pressed against him, but gradually loosen your grip and take a step back, eyebrows furrowing as you glance around the room, realising you're in a staff room of some sort — dimly lit and cluttered with props.
"are we.. supposed to be in here?"
"obviously not," chris scoffs, his tone dripping with sarcasm. he then tilts his head to the side, his eyes narrowing as a smirk slowly spreads across his lips. "y'know... you're really livin' up to your nickname, bun... all scared 'n shit, makin' me look after you."
the teasing in his voice makes your face grow hot, a mix of embarrassment and frustration bubbling inside you. you glare at him, but the effect is lost as you feel the adrenaline still coursing through your veins.
"i don't like scary stuff," you admit, your tone a little pathetic, which only makes you frown.
"didn't think it was that bad," chris drawls, taking a step closer, almost corning you against the wall which makes a flutter of nerves tickle your belly. "though, i think you rubbin' against me was on purpose, bun.. you tryin' to start somethin'?"
"what?" you blink, mouth open and closing repeatedly. "n-no, i just.. i was scared!"
"uh-huh," chris nods slowly, his smirk widening as he fully corners you against the wall, his hands resting on your hips, making your breath hitch. "you uh, you sure about that? 'cos it felt like you wanted somethin' from me."
the proximity is overwhelming, and you can feel the heat radiating off of him. your heart races rapidly against your chest, "i..."
chris leans in slightly, his breath brushing across your face, sending a shiver down your spine. "you what?"
you swallow hard, trying to form a coherent response, but all you can think about is how close he is, how his hands feel on your hips. "i just... i didn't mean.."
"didn't mean to what?" he presses again, voice low and teasing, smirk never wavering. "didn't mean to get scared? or didn't mean to get me hard?"
you can't help but squirm under his gaze, "both?"
chirs hums at that, his hands sliding down to your ass, his teeth biting down on your shoulder as his hips grind against yours, letting you feel the hard bulge straining against his jeans, and a whimper escapes your throat as you squirm again under his grip.
his hands move again, slipping underneath your skirt to cup your pussy, and he gives you a mocking smile as his fingers press against the damp patch on your panties. "really?"
you don't respond to that, not even sure how to come up with one to explain your sudden arousal as he slowly pushes the fabric to the side and sliding two fingers deep inside your pussy, causing you to cry out at the intrusion, immediately covering your mouth to muffle your noises.
"nah, don't worry about that..." chris purrs, pumping his fingers in and out of your spongy walls, curling his fingers and rubbing against the sweet spot with each stroke. "we're in a haunted house, bun... scream."
your hips buck against his hand, gummy walls clenching around his fingers, letting out a choked sob when he adds a third, stretching you out.
"thaaats it," chris nods, licking at his lips as his thumb finds your clit, rubbing firm circles. "make all the noises f'me. wanna hear you." chris other hand unbuckles his belt, freeing his cock and removing his fingers from your cunt to rub the tip through your soaked folds, coating himself in your arousal. "deep breath, bun. remember?"
you nod repeatedly, sucking in a deep breath as chris eases himself into your pussy, burying himself to the hilt with one deep thrust. your nails dig into his shoulders as chris' head drops down to yours, teeth grazing your skin as he pulls almost all the way out before driving back in, setting a pace as he pounds into you.
the wall rattles behind you, props cluttering to the ground in a mess, but you don't pay it any mind as you moan loudly in his ears, tears of pleasure prickling at the corners of your eyes as your mind reels.
"please, chris," you whimper out his name, not knowing if you're begging for him to slow down or pleading for him to never stop as you grip his shoulders tighter, blubbering as your vision blurs. "please."
chris chuckles in your ears, his hand slipping behind the back of your knee to pull your leg up around his waist, pressing his cock into you deeper, his pelvis rubbing against your clit for extra stimulation.
"s'what i thought, bun," he murmurs quietly, teeth tugging at your earlobe as he drives his cock repeatedly into your pussy. "always a fuckin' mess on my cock."
© STURNIOZ
#©sturnioz#꒰ STURNIOZ KINKTOBER '24 ꒱ !#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#☆ fratboy!chris#☆ shy!reader#꒰ fratboy!chris x shy!reader prompt ꒱
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Help Me Remember
Pairing: Dean Winchester x wife!reader
Summary: Your memories have been taken from you and it's up to Dean to get them back.
Warnings: Angsty af, memory loss, canon violence, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, oral (M & F receiving), light face fucking, unprotected sex (P in V), biting (minimal), dirty talk.
Three Weeks Ago
"God almighty, what is that smell?"
You were doing your best to avoid inhaling too deeply--the stench uncomfortably strong. "Rotting flesh."
"Dead body?" Dean asked.
You nodded. "Several, I think."
"Great." Dean stepped in front of you, the instinct to protect you always foremost in his mind. He stepped through the open doorway, quickly enveloped by darkness.
You heard him grunt lowly and you stepped forward, trying to see through the darkness, but even your flashlight didn't penetrate it much. "Dean?"
When he didn't respond, you felt a tightening in your chest. "Dean?" you called again, a little louder.
The silence was deafening--sending cold chills down your back as you stepped farther into the room. "Babe? Answer me."
You took another step forward and your foot collided with something sturdy on the floor in front of you. You trained your flashlight downwards and inhaled sharply as the light illuminated a body at your feet. "Dean!"
You dropped to your knees beside him to check for a pulse, foolishly opening yourself up to attack in such a vulnerable moment.
The last sound you heard was a dark cackle coming from your right just before you were plunged into complete darkness.
Dean awoke with a low groan, rubbing his temples in an attempt to alleviate the throbbing in his head. It took him several moments to get his bearings and remember where he was. As soon as the memories clicked in his mind, he called out your name. You didn't respond and he felt a cold desperation wrap around his heart.
"(Y/N)!" he yelled as he pulled himself off the floor. "Sweetheart? Where are you?"
He was met with complete silence, making his blood run cold. He couldn't find the flashlight he'd been carrying, so he pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight, shining it into the darkness around him.
He immediately noticed the stench from earlier had dissipated, as had the total darkness that surrounded him in the moments before he'd lost consciousness. His flashlight had barely cut through the blackness, but his phone was able to light up the majority of the room around him with relative ease.
The room was completely empty. Not a single rotting corpse to be seen. No cause for the smell from earlier, nor any sign of what had caused the room to be plunged into complete darkness. More importantly, there was no sign of you.
Dean immediately ran from the room, hurriedly searching the rest of the abandoned home in the hopes of finding you passed out like he had been. When he'd searched every room to no avail, his panic had risen to untenable levels.
He called your phone, but it immediately went to voicemail. He left a frantic message before hanging up and calling Sam.
His brother answered on the second ring. "Dean? Everything okay?"
"Is (Y/N) with you?"
Sam could hear the panic in Dean's voice, causing his heart to race. "No...she was with you on that hunt in Colorado."
"I can't find her anywhere."
"What do you mean you can't find her?"
"I mean, I got knocked out and when I woke up she was gone. I've searched the whole damn house--she's gone, Sam!"
"Okay, breathe. She wouldn't leave you, so she's gotta be there somewhere."
"Well something knocked me out, Sam--and whatever the hell it was had to have taken (Y/N/N)."
"That doesn't make sense, Dean. You said it was a ghost--a basic haunting."
"Yeah that's what we thought it was! Clearly we were wrong."
"Alright, alright," Sam said in a soothing voice. "I'll pack a bag and head your way--we'll find her."
Dean let out a pained sound. "Hurry."
"I will."
**********
Present
You groaned in annoyance, rolling over in bed to slam your hand on the snooze of your alarm. When the incessant noise stopped, you sighed quietly, staring at the ceiling as light filtered in through the window.
You wanted to get out of bed and go to work about as much as you wanted to get hit by a car, but unfortunately the bills wouldn't pay themselves.
You dragged yourself out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower before getting ready for work. Thirty minutes later, you were grabbing your bag and heading out the door.
When you reached the office, you sat in your car for a few minutes, gathering whatever strength you had to get out of your car and walk through those doors. You hated your job--this office life was simply not for you. It was boring, but the paycheck was decent and you didn't have any other options.
You'd only had the job for a few weeks--it would be embarrassing to quit so soon after starting. Besides, the work was easy and your coworkers were nice enough.
You sighed quietly before getting out of the car and heading into the office building. You were greeted by several of your coworkers and you said your good mornings as you made your way to your office.
The day passed by uneventfully, just as every single day of the past few weeks seemed to. When 5pm rolled around, you packed up your things and left for the day. You decided to stop and get Chinese food on your way home--the urge to cook about as far away as the country of China was.
After picking up dinner, you made your way home. As you pulled into your driveway, you noticed an old black muscle car parked in front of your neighbor's house. You thought it odd given your neighbor was out of town, but the thought was gone as quickly as it came as your stomach grumbled hungrily.
You grabbed your things and headed inside, dropping your keys and purse by the front door. You tugged your shoes off, silently cursing whoever created high heels. You sat your food on the kitchen island and went to the fridge to grab a beer.
You plopped down at the island, quickly pulling the containers of delicious food from the bag. You groaned happily as you took a bite of food--finally sating the grumbling of your stomach.
Mid-bite, you heard a noise upstairs, causing you to freeze. You listened closely, almost certain there was someone in your house. You grabbed a large knife from the knife block on the counter and made your way slowly towards the stairs.
You went up them as quietly as you could, stopping on the landing to listen for more noises. You heard movement at the end of the hall, where your office was. You made your way toward the room, holding the knife in front of you.
When you rounded the corner, you saw a man standing in your office, looking through your desk. You steeled yourself before stepping fully into the room, yelling "hey!" as you entered.
The man looked up at you and froze, eyes flicking between your face and the knife in your hand. "Woah, easy there, sweetheart."
"Who are you and why are you in my house?"
The man looked slightly confused. "It's me, (Y/N)."
"How the hell do you know my name?"
The man started to come around to the front of your desk and you stepped towards him, brandishing the knife in what you hoped was a menacing manner. The man was significantly larger than you, but you didn't feel the fear you expected to feel. You felt oddly certain you could hold your own against him in a fight--which made zero sense to you. You'd never been in a fight in your life.
"Easy, (Y/N). Just put the knife down and we can talk."
"You broke into my house, asshole. No way am I putting down this knife."
His hands were still up in the air, but he didn't seem any more afraid of you than you were of him. "Okay, sweetheart, just relax. I can explain."
"Stop calling me that--I don't know you."
The man looked hurt by your words, but he seemed to shrug them off. "Sorry, sweet--shit. Sorry." He slowly lowered his hands, waiting for you to make a move. When you didn't, he lowered them completely. "My name is Dean Winchester."
He waited for a moment, hoping to see a flash of recognition on your face--but your expression remained blank. It was like a stab to the heart, but he continued. "Your name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You're 33 years old. Your parents' names are Lily and Carter. You were born in New Mexico, but you spent most of your formative years in London. You came back to the U.S. after the death of your parents when you were 19. We met a couple years later on a hunt in Arkansas. We've been inseparable ever since."
The hand holding the knife was shaking almost uncontrollably. There was no way he could know any of those things--you didn't talk about your parents or your childhood with anyone. Hell, you barely mentioned the existence of a personal life.
"How do you know all of that? I don't talk about my family with anyone."
"You did with me."
"But I don't know you--I've never seen you before in my life."
"Yes you have...you just don't remember."
"Excuse me?"
Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Three weeks ago, you and I were on a hunt in Colorado. It seemed like a routine hunt...but something went wrong. I was knocked unconscious and you disappeared. I've spent the last three weeks searching for you."
"I've never been hunting a day in my life."
"Look, I know it's confusing and I understand why you don't believe me, but I swear to you, it's the truth."
Much to your surprise, every instinct in your body seemed to believe him...to believe this man you'd never seen before, to trust the man who'd broken into your home, to believe the insane story he was telling you.
You slowly lowered the knife and exhaled shakily. "I don't understand what's going on, but my gut instinct is to trust you."
Dean exhaled gratefully. "You can trust me."
"If you're fucking with me--" you raised the knife for emphasis, "I swear I will beat the shit out of you."
Dean laughed softly. "I'd expect nothing less."
You shot him an odd look and shook your head. "You hungry? I have Chinese food downstairs."
"Sure. I could eat."
You nodded towards the door. "You first sunshine."
He walked ahead of you, making his way down to the kitchen with you in tow. He sat down at the island and you sat across from him, setting the knife on the counter beside you.
"Want a beer?" you asked.
"Absolutely."
You pointed at the fridge. "Help yourself."
Once he had his beverage, he sat back down, eyes watching you intently. You could tell there was something he wanted to say, so you called him out on it.
"It's just...hard to see you like this."
"I'm sure it is. It's uncomfortable for me too."
He winced. "Sorry, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I've just really missed you."
You finally took a moment to really take in his features. You'd be lying if you said he wasn't the most attractive man you'd ever seen, but what really drew you in were his eyes. Sure they were a beautiful shade of green, but it was the warmth in them that made you feel comfortable. It was clear to you this Dean Winchester guy cared about you, even if you had zero clue as to why.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," he answered.
"What am I to you?"
Dean inhaled sharply and his gaze drifted to the countertop in front of him. It was clear he wasn't sure how to answer that question--or if he should answer it. "I'm...I'm not sure I should answer that."
"I'm a big girl, Dean. Just tell me."
He looked back up at you, but when he opened his mouth, he didn't answer your question. "What do you remember of your life?"
"What?"
"Just tell me what you remember."
"Everything you said about my life was true. My name, my childhood, my parents...their deaths. I remember all of that. I remember moving back to the U.S....but I don't remember meeting you and I certainly don't remember hunting."
"So what have you been doing for the past 14 years?"
You closed your eyes for a moment, the memories infinitely more clear than the ones from your childhood. "I went to college and got a degree in marketing. Dated off and on, but no one had long-term potential. I had a few shitty jobs before finally landing the one at my current firm. I've been there a couple weeks, but I've got a corner office, a good paycheck, and decent coworkers."
"And do you like it? Marketing?"
You paused, considering your options before deciding to answer honestly. "It's boring, in all honesty, but it pays the bills."
"Do you ever think maybe you're meant for something more?"
You stared at him in surprise. You didn't know how he could possibly know that...you'd never shared that particular thought with anyone. You'd always felt that way--for as long as you could remember. "Yes," you whispered. "How did you know that?"
Dean smiled at you. "Because you are meant for more, (Y/N/N). You've spent the last 14 years doing more--you've saved countless lives. Hell, you've helped save the entire planet more than once."
You laughed loudly, thinking he must be joking. When you noticed his expression was completely serious, your laughter died instantly. "You--you can't be serious."
"I'm completely serious."
You scoffed. "No offense, Dean, but I've never saved anyone--let alone the entire planet. I think that's something I would remember."
He gave you a sad smile, pain lacing his gorgeous features. "There's so much you don't remember, (Y/N/N)."
The pain on his face matched the tone of his voice--and it sent a piercing pain into your heart. A pain you couldn't possibly begin to understand. "What else don't I remember?"
Dean shook his head. "I don't think you're ready for all of that, sweetheart."
This time, you didn't correct him. The pet name made your chest ache--and you had a feeling this was a common term of endearment from him. It made you want to understand the nature of your relationship. "Then just tell me one thing. What am I to you?"
Dean exhaled slowly, brilliant green eyes fluttering closed. He was desperately trying to remain objective, but it was nearly impossible. He felt like he owed you in some way and he knew he couldn't lie. His eyes met yours once again and you were stunned by the depths of emotion swimming in those green orbs.
"I feel like I owe you the truth, but I don't want you to freak out. So just...please just let me talk before you respond."
You nodded and waited for him to continue.
"Like I said before, we met a few years after you came back to the states. About 11 years ago, to be exact. I remember the first time I saw you like it was yesterday. You were so beautiful--almost painfully so. I felt drawn to you immediately, but you wanted nothing to do with me. I suppose it only made me want you more." He chuckled fondly at the memory. "You were pure fire back then. No one could control you, not that I'd ever dare to try. I think I fell in love almost immediately. You were everything I'd ever wanted, but I uh--I had a bit of a reputation in the community. A not-so-nice reputation when it came to the ladies...and unfortunately for me, you were well-aware of it."
Dean shook his head sadly. "I still don't know why, but you decided to stay with me and Sam--my brother. The three of us hunted together and sometime during the year that followed, I managed to win you over. You were crazy enough to fall in love with me--and we've been together ever since." He paused. "So to answer your question, (Y/N), you're the love of my life. My best friend, my partner, my confidante, my whole world. You're the woman I vowed to spend the rest of my life with and I'll be damned if I don't make good on that promise."
You sat in stunned silence, unsure how to feel about his revelation. One thing was for sure, you knew he was being honest. Every fiber of your being told you he loved you--every instinct you had screamed that he meant every word he said. It nearly broke your heart to have no memory of the feelings he was referring to...you couldn't reciprocate his words. As far as you were concerned, he was a stranger to you. You had no idea how to respond--nothing you could have said would have comforted him.
After several moments of silence, you finally looked up at Dean, meeting his teary gaze. "I believe you," you whispered.
Surprise lit up the handsome man's face. He hadn't been sure how you'd respond, but he hadn't thought you'd believe a word he said. "I meant every word, (Y/N/N)."
"I'm sorry I don't remember," you murmured sadly.
He offered you a small smile. "It's alright, sweetheart. I'm gonna find a way to get your memories back--to get our lives back."
"How?"
"If you're okay with it, we'll go see a friend of mine. She might be able to help."
You might be crazy for being willing to go with this strange man...but your gut told you there was no other choice. You hated the life you lived and if there was even a chance the life Dean was describing was real, you had to take it. "I'm in."
Dean smiled warmly. "That's my girl."
**********
Dean didn't explain who exactly you were going to see, but he did tell you it was quite a distance away. As such, you'd have to stop in a motel along the way.
Dean kept the conversations in the car away from the life--from hunting. He wasn't ready to explain all of that yet, especially if there was even the slightest chance you would run away screaming. He needed you to trust him and mentioning monsters wasn't likely to keep things calm.
It was late at night when he finally pulled off into a roadside motel. "It's not the Ritz, but it'll do for a night," Dean commented.
You offered him a smile and followed him into the dingy room. You tossed your bag onto the bed nearest the door and Dean immediately picked it up and moved it to the other bed. "No way in hell are you sleeping by the door, sweetheart."
You looked a little surprised, but simply shrugged your agreement.
Dean winced. "Sorry--I just worry about your safety, that's all."
You smiled. "It's alright. I get it."
He tossed his bag on the bed and sat down to take off his boots. "You can get the first shower."
"Alright, thanks." You grabbed your stuff and headed into the bathroom to take a shower.
Dean made a call to Sam as soon as the door to the bathroom was closed. He'd already called his brother and informed him that he'd found you and told him where you were headed. Sam was already on his way to you, speeding along the highway in your direction.
"Hey Sammy."
"Hey Dean. How is she?"
"She's okay. She's in the shower right now. Where you at?"
"Probably an hour out now. What motel did you stop at?"
Dean gave him the location and room number. "Call me when you get here and I'll let you in."
"Have you told her I'm coming yet?"
"I mentioned you earlier...but I'm trying to keep her as calm as possible. I don't want her to freak out."
Sam sighed. "Alright, but you might wanna mention it before I get there."
"Yeah, yeah. I will. See you soon."
20 minutes after the call ended, you came out of the bathroom, feeling reasonably clean. You'd spent more time in the shower than you'd needed to, if only to try and calm your racing mind. A lot had happened in the last five hours and you were mentally and emotionally exhausted.
When you came out of the bathroom, you collapsed on the musty-smelling bed and sighed.
"I know it's not a great place, but maybe you'll be able to get some sleep. I'm sure you're tired."
"Very."
Dean smiled sadly. "I'm gonna take a shower real quick, okay?"
You nodded and rolled over, trying to get comfortable on the rock-hard bed.
Dean eyed you warily before stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door.
You closed your eyes and fell asleep with shocking ease. Mental exhaustion was clearly a great cure for insomnia.
When Dean came out of the shower, he fully expected you to still be awake. He wanted to let you know Sam was on the way so you wouldn't be freaked out by his arrival. Unfortunately, you were clearly sound asleep and he didn't want to wake you. You looked too peaceful to disturb.
**********
You awoke sometime in the early hours of the morning, bladder throbbing uncomfortably. You got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, failing to notice the large figure lying on the couch near the bathroom door.
Your movement woke Sam up and he decided he needed to use the bathroom too. He stood up and stretched, waiting for you to come back out.
When you came out of the bathroom, you caught sight of a large male figure standing near the door. You quickly assessed him and realized it wasn't Dean--the man was too tall. Without thinking, you lunged towards him, fist connecting with the side of his jaw, sending him stumbling backwards.
He fell back into the small dining table, forcing it against the wall with a loud noise. The commotion was enough to wake up Dean, who shot out of bed ready to fight. It took him only a moment to realize what had happened.
You lunged towards Sam again, who held up his hands to block your attack. Dean jumped towards you and yelled your name, pulling you to a stop.
"It's okay! It's okay!" Dean insisted. "It's just Sam!"
You were breathing heavily, but you lowered your fists. "Who the hell is Sam?"
"My brother!"
Your mind cleared slightly as you remembered Dean mentioning Sam's name earlier in the evening. "Oh shit," you muttered.
Dean turned on the light and Sam rubbed his jaw woefully. "Nice swing, (Y/N/N).
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," you said softly. "I didn't mean to--I just reacted."
"Well it was a good shot either way," Sam said with a pained chuckle.
Dean laughed softly. "At least your instincts are still strong."
You winced a smile. "Let me go get some ice."
Dean stopped you with a gentle hand on your arm. "I'll go get it. Stay inside."
You could tell he was worried about your safety and it made you wonder what he wasn't telling you.
Sam sat down at the table and continued to rub his jaw. "It really is good to see you, (Y/N). Despite the punch."
"I'm so sorry, Sam. I didn't know you would be here."
"I figured that out," he said with a light chuckle. "Don't worry about it. It was a solid punch."
Dean came back in with a full ice bucket. He handed the bucket to Sam and chuckled. "Damn dude, she got you good."
You winced, feeling terrible for hurting him.
Dean noticed your discomfort and turned to you with a gentle smile. "It's alright, sweetheart. He's had a hell of a lot worse. He'll be fine."
Sam nodded his agreement. "He's not wrong. I'm alright."
You punched Dean in the arm in annoyance.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You could have told me he was coming!"
"You were asleep! I didn't wanna wake you."
You sighed. "Alright fine, but quit keeping things from me, Dean."
He nodded, rubbing his arm. "Sorry, sweetheart."
"I'm going back to sleep. Let me know when it's time to go."
The brothers watched you crawl back into bed and Dean let out a soft sigh. "I think I'm too awake to sleep now."
"Same," Sam muttered.
The two sat at the table in silence, allowing you to get a couple more hours of sleep before it was time to head back out on the road.
**********
"So who exactly are we going to see?" you asked curiously.
Sam shot his brother a look from the backseat of the car. Dean glared at him in the rearview mirror and the younger man stayed silent.
"A friend of ours from when we were kids," Dean answered. "Her name is Missouri."
"Missouri...hmm. Do I know her?"
Dean nodded.
"How can she help me?"
"She's uh...well she's really..."
"Perceptive," Sam finished for him.
"Yeah, perceptive."
You gave Dean an odd look. "Okay then."
"Just...trust me, okay? She's the best there is. She can help."
Two words remained unsaid, living only deep in Dean's heart. I hope.
When the car pulled up in front of the house, Missouri immediately knew who it was. She met the three of you at the front door, a smile on her face.
"What do I owe the pleasure of a visit from all three Winchesters?"
Dean froze for a moment, which didn't go unnoticed by Missouri. Nor did you miss her use of the words "three Winchesters".
You shot Dean a silent reproachful look and Missouri tsked loudly. "Dean Winchester, what did you do?"
He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I didn't do anything, Missouri. I swear."
Missouri's gaze landed on your face, her expression softening instantly. "Oh honey..."
Her expression frightened you, as did her extremely perceptive gaze. It felt as though she was looking directly through you.
"Well come in you three. It's cold out here."
The three of you followed the older woman into her home. She gestured for you all to sit in the living room while she went to the kitchen to make some tea.
"Why did she call me a Winchester?" you asked Dean in hushed tones.
Sam gave his brother an 'I told you so' look and waited for his response.
Dean sighed. "I wasn't completely honest with you yesterday," he admitted. "(Y/N) (Y/L/N) was your name, until six years ago."
"What happened six years ago?" You were pretty sure you knew the answer, but you wanted to hear him say it.
"We got married," he answered softly. "You decided to change your name...and you've been (Y/N) Winchester ever since."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to freak you out. I'd already unloaded a lot of information on you. It's hard to look your wife in the eyes and realize she doesn't remember you--it's even harder to tell her what she means to you."
"But you told me how much you loved me...why couldn't you admit we're married?"
Dean shook his head. "I really don't know, sweetheart. I think I was scared you would run. It had been so hard to find you and I didn't want to risk losing you again."
Tears welled in your eyes and you placed a soft, comforting hand on his arm. "I'm not going anywhere, Dean."
He looked up at you, expression matching your own. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to your forehead, though he desperately wanted to kiss your lips instead.
"Tea, everyone," Missouri stated as she entered the living room.
You immediately took the cup she offered you gratefully. "Thank you."
She nodded at you, giving you a warm smile. "Now I know you boys don't like tea, but there's no alcohol in this house."
"I'll take a cup, Missouri," Sam said.
She handed him a cup and gave Dean a stern look. You had a feeling the expression had nothing to do with his not liking tea.
"Now why don't you boys tell me what brings you all the way out here."
Dean sighed. "You mean you don't already know?"
"Dean!" Sam scolded.
"Oh I imagine it has something to do with (Y/N)'s memories, but I'd like to hear it from you."
Surprise lit up your face. "How did you--?"
"I see your husband left a few things out, didn't he? Do you want to share, Dean?"
Dean winced and shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, well--umm...Missouri is--well, she's psychic."
"I'm sorry, she's what?"
"Psychic," Dean repeated.
You turned to look at Sam and he simply nodded. Your gaze shifted back to Missouri who gave you another sad smile.
"It's true, honey. That's why I know about your missing memories. I can see the block in your mind...and the fake memories replacing your real ones."
"Fake memories? What do you mean fake memories?"
"How did your parents die?" Missouri asked seemingly from nowhere.
"A car accident," you answered in confusion.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Dean and Sam exchange glances. Missouri sighed quietly and shook her head.
You tried to catch Dean's gaze, but he kept his eyes trained on the floor in front of him, suddenly fascinated with the pattern of the rug.
"Are you saying my parents didn't die in a car accident?"
"No, dear. They did not," Missouri answered.
"But I remember--" you fell silent as Missouri's words came back to you...'fake memories'. You shook your head. "I don't understand."
Missouri gave you a pitying look. "When you were 19 years old, your parents were murdered by something inhuman. A creature known as a ghoul. The ghoul appeared to you as your mother after it had killed her in an attempt to kill you, but you realized it wasn't your mother. You grabbed a wooden candlestick off the mantle and bashed the creature's head in, managing to kill it without even knowing what it was."
You were frozen in your seat, caught somewhere between disbelief and utter terror. You pushed the terror down, allowing the disbelief to prevail. You jumped out of your seat and yelled, "You people are crazy! Ghouls don't exist!"
Dean stood up and grabbed your arm to keep you from running. "Ghouls are very real, (Y/N). That experience changed your life forever. From that moment on, you knew the things that go bump in the night were real...that they murdered innocent people all over the world. It's why you came back here...to find answers and learn how to hunt them."
You shook your head vehemently. "No, no, that's not possible. They died in a car accident!"
Dean turned you to face him completely. "We met on a vampire hunt in Arkansas. Sam and I had identified the case and we ran into you early on in the hunt. You more than proved your abilities during that case and I asked you to come hunt with us. I didn't want you to keep going alone--it was too risky."
"What are you talking about?" you cried. "Vampires aren't real! None of this is real...it can't be real." Your knees turned to jelly and you would have fallen to the floor if Dean hadn't been holding onto you. He pulled you into him and you sobbed into his chest, finally allowing your tumultuous emotions out.
Dean held you tightly, tears of his own threatening to fall. He didn't know how to make you believe any of this--it sounded insane to him and he'd been raised in the life. He had a hard enough time convincing people who had literally seen a monster that they were real--this was so much worse. You couldn't remember all the monsters you'd killed in your life, so why would you ever believe a word any of them said?
"We might seem crazy, (Y/N), but I think if you allow yourself to believe it for even a moment, you may find it's not as crazy as it sounds," Missouri said gently.
You sniffled softly and turned to look into her eyes. You were still wrapped in Dean's arms--it made you feel incredibly safe, despite the situation. You focused on that feeling and tried to relax your breathing. Every single part of you was certain Dean would die to protect you...if that was true, then the love he had for you was real too. If his love was real, then so was your relationship--your marriage. If all of this was true, then maybe what he was telling you was true...maybe monsters really were real.
Missouri saw the moment you began to believe them--your eyes showed your emotions, but it was your mind that gave you away. She could sense your belief, just as she could sense the false memories swirling around in your mind.
"A witch," she said softly.
Dean's entire body went rigid. "What?"
"The missing memories and the replacements...it's the work of a witch. An extremely powerful one at that."
"Are you sure?" Dean whispered.
Missouri shot him a glare that told him exactly how certain she was.
"A witch?" you questioned softly, pulling away from Dean to look at his face.
"My least favorite type of monster."
"Witches are monsters?" you asked.
"Most of them," he responded.
"This kind of magic is dark," Missouri muttered. "Messing with someone's memories...it's very dangerous magic. The skill needed to not only block out the real memories but replace them indicates this is a very old witch. This type of magic isn't common these days."
"Demons?" Sam asked.
Missouri shook her head. "Older."
"Demons?" you squeaked out. "Demons are real too?"
Dean rubbed your arms comfortingly. "Yeah, sweetheart, but we don't need to worry about that right now, okay?"
You exhaled shakily. "How do I know what memories are real and which ones aren't?"
Missouri stood up and took your hands, forcing Dean to release you. She looked into your eyes, gaze extremely focused. After several moments she spoke. "Your childhood is intact up until your parents' deaths. Everything else up until three weeks ago is a false memory."
"Fourteen years?" you gasped. "Fourteen years of my life is a lie?"
Dean could see you start to spiral, instinctively reaching for you to try to ground you. "Baby, baby, hey--hey...focus on me, okay? Everything's gonna be okay."
Your eyes met his and your breathing began to slow once again. His warm gaze brought you back to earth, calming you in a way only he could. You felt calm--you felt safe. "Thank you," you whispered.
He pulled you into him for a tight a hug, placing his lips to the top of your head. "I've got you, sweetheart. I've got you."
Both Sam and Missouri felt as though they were intruding on a private moment. Missouri gestured for Sam to follow her out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.
"Are you alright?" Dean asked softly.
You looked up at him. "I think so. It's--it's a lot to take in."
"I know, sweetheart. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, but everything we've told you is true."
"What happened three weeks ago, Dean?"
"What I told you before was true, but I left out a few details. We were on a hunt...a routine haunting. At least that's what we thought it was. When we got there, it was dark inside and it smelled like rotting corpses. It was strange, but not exactly out of the ordinary for a haunting. I went into a room ahead of you and I was knocked unconscious by something--I don't even remember what it was. When I woke up, you were gone."
"Could a--a witch do that?"
Dean nodded. "Easily. Especially if they're as powerful as Missouri thinks they are."
"So what do we do?"
"We find a way to restore your memories...then we hunt this witch down and find out why they targeted you."
"What if we can't?"
"Oh we'll find the witch. Don't worry."
You shook your head. "What if we can't get my memories back?"
Dean's expression betrayed his fear, if only for a second. "There has to be a way. There has to."
"There is," Missouri stated as she reentered the room with Sam in tow. "But it won't be pleasant."
"Can you do it?" Dean asked.
"I'm a psychic, Dean, not a witch."
Dean looked crestfallen.
"But I know someone who can help."
Dean looked back up. "Who?"
"Her name is Bethelia Logan. She's a very old, very powerful witch."
"Absolutely not!" Dean yelled instantly. "I'm not taking (Y/N) to a witch."
"Don't yell at me, child. Do you want her memories back or not?"
Dean started to argue again, but you placed a gentle hand to his chest, silencing him. "Do you trust her?"
Missouri nodded. "I would never send you to someone I didn't trust." She pointed at Dean. "You should know that."
Dean looked down in shame. He hated witches--hated them with everything in his soul. His hatred existed long before this moment...but now that he knew a witch had stolen your memories? He'd kill every witch on earth if he could.
"Where can we find this Bethelia Logan?" Sam asked.
"She lives in the mountains of Montana. Partially for the nature and partially for the privacy. She's not particularly friendly to strangers, but if you tell her I sent you, she'll help you."
"Are you sure she'll help us?" Dean asked.
"I'll send her a message. She'll help."
Dean looked down at you, wanting the decision to be yours and yours alone.
"You have her address?" you asked, a resigned smile on your face.
Missouri gave Dean the address and wished him luck. She said her goodbyes to the boys before sending them out the door. She stopped you before you could leave, wanting to say something in private.
"You are a strong woman, (Y/N). I have always thought that. You will need all your strength to get through this, if you choose to go through with it."
"What do you mean, 'if'?"
"The magic used to take your memories was very powerful black magic...and it will take very powerful black magic to reverse it. Such magic is dangerous for the user and for the person it is used on."
Realization dawned on your face. "Will I survive it?"
Missouri's expression softened, sadness darkening her gaze. "I don't know, honey, but it will likely be the most painful experience of your life. Which is why it must be your choice to go through with it. Yours, (Y/N)--yours alone."
You looked towards the Impala where Dean and Sam waited for you. You turned back to look at Missouri, a soft sigh leaving your lips. "Thank you for telling me."
"I love those boys like family, just as I love you, but Dean isn't like a normal man. He loves more deeply than anyone I have ever known--there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you. Don't tell him what I've told you, (Y/N). He won't let you make this choice on your own if you do...not because he doesn't trust you, but because he doesn't want to lose you."
Tears filled your eyes as you regarded the older woman. "I don't know how to explain it, but I know how much he loves me. I know what he would do for me. I need to remember why--desperately."
Missouri sighed quietly. "You've always loved that boy more than he believes he deserves, but in truth, he deserves all of your love. I've never met two people more perfect for one another--even if you never remember your lives together, I know you will love him that much again."
You nodded, allowing her words to wash over you. You knew in your heart she was right--you could see yourself falling in love with him, so it didn't surprise you that she believed it too. "Thank you, Missouri. For everything."
"You are so welcome, (Y/N) Winchester. Now go--and be safe."
You gave her a tight hug before walking away to join your husband and his brother on what would turn out to be the most harrowing journey of your life.
**********
It was a 16 hour drive from Missouri's home to Bethelia's home in Montana. You were quiet for most of the ride, reflecting on everything that had happened, as well as Missouri's final words to you. You half-listened to Sam and Dean's conversation, but your mind was elsewhere. You knew you had an important decision to make--one you apparently had to make entirely on your own.
Dean noticed your quiet demeanor and it worried him more than he cared to admit. He had to wonder what Missouri had said to you before you'd left, but he didn't want to press you for answers.
"Sweetheart, why don't you get some sleep?" Dean suggested softly. "I'm gonna drive through the night."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" you asked softly.
"We do it all the time. Don't worry," he assured you.
Sam nodded his agreement. "If he gets tired, I'll take over."
"Over my cold dead corpse," Dean grumbled.
You laughed lightly and Sam rolled his eyes. "Alright, I'll try and get some sleep."
You turned your body slightly, leaning your head against the car window. You tried to get comfortable, but the cold metal and freezing window made that impossible.
Dean noticed your discomfort, watching you shift back and forth for several minutes. "Hey baby," he said softly, getting your attention. You turned to look in his direction.
"Come here, use my shoulder." You looked up at him and he offered you a gentle smile. "I can tell you're uncomfortable."
You angled your body to lean across the seat, resting your head on his shoulder. You sighed softly, finally finding a comfortable position. You were asleep within minutes. Dean glanced down at you and smiled before placing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
Sam watched the interaction from the backseat, a mixture of sadness and joy weighing on him. He was glad Dean had found you, but he was terrified of what would happen when they made it to Montana. Sam wasn't stupid...and he knew a lot more about magic than his brother did. He knew it was going to be extremely dangerous to try and fix your memories, and he worried it wouldn't end well. He didn't want to mention his concerns to Dean as he didn't want to scare him. He knew exactly what his brother was like when someone he loved was in danger.
You awoke several hours later to rays of morning sun shining through the windshield. Your head was still resting against Dean's shoulder and he felt you stir slowly.
"Good morning beautiful," Dean whispered softly.
You looked up at him with a smile. "Mornin'." You pulled yourself up into a sitting position and stretched.
You felt Dean's gaze on you, so you turned to look at him. "What?"
"Nothin'."
You raised your eyebrows. "Then why're you looking at me like that?"
He smiled. "You're just so beautiful," he said softly. "I can't help but stare."
You blushed and looked away from him. "Not this early in the morning," you mumbled.
He chuckled lightly. "Nice try, sweetheart. You're beautiful 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. 366 during leap year." He shot you a wink, which only caused your blush to deepen.
"You're too much," you giggled softly.
He reached over and tucked a stray hair behind your ear. "You're just right."
"What did I do to deserve you?" you asked softly.
Surprise lit up his handsome face. "Deserve me? Other way around, baby."
You shook your head. "I don't think so."
He glanced over at you again. "There's a lot you don't remember, (Y/N/N). Trust me when I say I'm the one who doesn't deserve you."
"That's not what Missouri thinks."
"Huh?"
"She told me you think you don't deserve me, but she said you deserve all the love I have to give. She thinks very highly of you, you know."
The look of surprise covered his face again. "I think highly of her too."
You smiled, reaching across to grab his hand. He looked over at you with a smile. "I can see why I fell in love with you."
His heart skipped a beat, hearing your words had a profound effect on him. "I'm still not sure how I won you over, but I'll always be grateful for your love."
You leaned across the seat and placed a soft kiss to his cheek. "I can't wait to remember everything," you whispered.
He shot you a warm smile, but it quickly faded to sadness.
"Dean?" you murmured.
"I know what we're going to do is extremely dangerous. I'm no fool, (Y/N/N)...I know Missouri warned you. I don't want you to do anything out of some sort of obligation to me, okay? I would rather die than lose you."
You touched his cheek gently. "I didn't want to worry you."
"I know. I'm willing to bet she told you not to tell me anyway."
Your mirthless chuckle was confirmation enough. "For the record, any decision I make is because it's what I want to do...and I need you to respect my decision."
Tears welled in his eyes, but he nodded. "I'll try."
You shook your head. "It's not a request, Dean."
He sighed. "I know you can't remember...but I'm not good at these types of situations. I tend to be a little reckless when someone I love is at risk."
"Missouri may have mentioned that too."
Dean chuckled. "Of course she did."
Sam began to stir in the backseat, a loud yawn alerting you both to his consciousness. "We there yet?" he mumbled.
Dean laughed. "We've still got another 4 hours or so."
"You want me to drive?"
"No one but my baby gets to drive Baby."
Sam laughed and rolled his eyes.
"Did you just call the car 'Baby'?" you asked.
"The three things I love most in this world are, you, Sammy, and this car."
You laughed heartily, rekindling Sam's laughter and sparking Dean's laughter. You might not be able to remember it, but you knew deep in your soul that these two people were your family--and somehow you loved them even without the memories to back it up.
**********
It was mid-afternoon when the three of you finally pulled up in front of a small house in middle-of-nowhere Montana.
"Do you think Missouri called her?" Dean asked.
"We better hope so," you murmured, pointing at the various signs in the yard warning people not to trespass.
"Yikes," Sam muttered.
Dean sighed and got out of the car, you and Sam following close behind. Before Dean could raise his hand to knock on the front door, it opened to reveal a surprisingly young-looking woman.
"Can you read?" the woman snapped.
"Missouri Moseley sent us," Sam said quickly.
The woman's expression softened immediately. "Well why didn't you say so? Come in, come in!"
You followed her inside and she gestured for you to have a seat in her small living room. The three of you sat down beside each other on the small couch.
"I'm Bethelia," the woman said as she sat in a chair across from you. "You must be the Winchesters."
The three of you nodded.
Bethelia looked at you closely. "I see you've been touched by black magic."
You nodded slowly. "So I've been told."
"Can you help her?" Dean asked.
Bethelia hummed quietly. "I can, but I am not certain you'll want me to."
"Missouri warned me it would dangerous."
She nodded. "This type of magic is very strong. I cannot guarantee you will survive."
Dean froze beside you and you blindly reached out to grab his hand. You squeezed it reassuringly. "What do I have to do?"
"(Y/N/N)," Dean pleaded.
Bethelia watched you carefully. "You have to be willing to risk everything to retrieve your memories. As you are now, you can make new memories with the ones you love, even if you cannot remember the past. But if you choose to work with me, your life may be forfeit."
You'd spent every waking hour since leaving Missouri's thinking about what you would do. Now, faced with the question, you found you knew your answer without a shadow of a doubt. "I'm willing to risk it."
"(Y/N/N)," Dean pleaded a second time. "You said it yourself--we can make new memories...we can fall in love all over again."
You turned to look into your husband's bright green eyes, both of which swirled with emotions the depths of which you couldn't even begin to understand. "Would you mind giving us a moment?"
Bethelia rose, immediately understanding what you needed. Sam took a second longer, but quickly followed Bethelia from the room, leaving you and Dean alone.
Dean immediately rose from his seat and began to pace. "You can't do this, (Y/N). It's not worth the risk."
"It's my decision, Dean. I don't need your permission, but I would like your support."
"I can't give you that--I can't...I can't lose you."
You stood up and grabbed his hands, stopping him in front of you. "I know it's hard, but it's worth it to me--it's worth the risk. I need to remember, Dean. It's my life and if the last few days are anything to go by, then I'd give anything to remember the last eleven years with you. Anything."
He looked down at you, finally allowing the tears to slide down his face. Your heart broke as you took in his pained expression, fear evident in his gaze. "I want to remember everything about you--every moment, every heartbreak, every painful memory, every joyful second, every loving embrace. I want to remember what it's like to love you--and be loved by you."
You reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks, and you found yourself wishing you could take away his pain. You didn't want to die, but you didn't want to live a lie--you needed the truth and the only way to get that was to restore your memories.
"I need to remember."
Dean closed his eyes and leaned into your palm. He would have traded places with you in a heartbeat, sold his soul to save you, set fire to the world to keep you out of harm's way...but he couldn't do any of those things. He was powerless to protect you and it was killing him.
"I know you're strong," he whispered. "but baby, I'm terrified."
"I know," you murmured. "I know."
You rose up on your tiptoes, gently pulling his face down to yours. You pressed your lips to his in a heated kiss--a kiss you tried to infuse with every complicated emotion you'd felt in the last several days. His body instinctively melted into yours like you were made for each other--like you'd done it a thousand times before.
When you separated, he leaned his forehead against yours, breath mingling with yours. "I need you to trust me," you whispered.
Dean closed his eyes. "I trust you."
You exhaled shakily as you pulled away from him. It was killing him, but he couldn't make this decision for you--all he could do was give you the one thing you asked for.
"I support whatever decision you make...and I love you," he said softly. "I'll always love you."
You hadn't really expected him to support you, so hearing him say those words gave you an added boost of strength you didn't know you needed. You touched his cheek one last time before walking away in search of Bethelia.
"You are ready," the witch said from the doorway, her words a confirmation, not a query.
You nodded. "Let's do this."
Sam went to his brother's side, giving him a reassuring clap on the back. There wasn't really anything for him to say, but his presence was enough to calm Dean.
Bethelia turned to address the two men. "No matter what happens, you must not interrupt the spell. If you do, you risk her mind as well as her life. Do you understand?"
They both nodded.
"It will be painful," she said to you.
"I know," you whispered.
She simply nodded and gestured for you to follow. She guided you to a dimly lit room filled with hundreds of candles. The room was obviously home to a large amount of spell work, but much of the space had been cleared to make room for a large mat in the center of the floor.
"Lie down, (Y/N)."
You did as she asked, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm your racing heart.
"You may wait in the hall," Bethelia addressed Sam and Dean. "Do not cross the threshold. Do not interrupt the spell. Do nothing."
You turned to make eye contact with Dean. "I'll be alright."
He nodded, desperate to believe you. "I love you," he whispered.
"I know," you whispered back.
"Let's begin," Bethelia said, silencing any further conversation.
You closed your eyes and sent out a silent prayer to any deity who might be listening--a prayer for strength, for survival. It was the last coherent thought you had before your mind was overwhelmed with a blinding pain you couldn't describe.
Sam and Dean watched from outside the room as you writhed in pain, cries of agony ripped from your throat as Bethelia worked her magic.
"I can't watch this," Dean gasped out, turning on his heels and practically running for the front door.
Even outside, he could hear your screams--each one like a knife to his heart. He didn't know how long he stood there, he had long since lost count of your screams, the seconds between them all but disappearing.
Sam had remained inside, standing watch over you as best he could. Much like Dean, his chest ached with each of your screams--he hated seeing you in so much pain.
After what felt like an eternity, silence fell on the small home--a silence more deafening than any scream. Dean waited for a few moments before running back into the house, terrified of what he would find.
When your limp body came into view, he tried to enter the room--tried to reach you, but Sam grabbed him and held him back. "Dean, you can't! She's not done!"
Dean struggled against his brother's hold, every instinct dying to go to you. He watched in terror as you remained still as death, not a single sound escaping your sweet lips.
"(Y/N/N)..." he whimpered.
Bethelia's chanting had ceased, her small form kneeling beside your body as if waiting for something.
Unbeknownst to anyone in the home, a war was raging inside your mind--a battle between who you were and who you believed yourself to be. Memories were fighting for their rightful place in your mind--false and real, a distinction your fragile psyche couldn't make.
The only thing you knew for sure was your name: (Y/N) Winchester. You knew it with the same conviction that you knew gravity was real. Your certainty gave way to another: Dean Winchester was the love of your life. Flashes of moments from the past few days flew through your mind, but the ones you focused on where the memories you didn't recall.
You saw the joyful moments filled with laughter and jokes, the painful moments filled with tears and loss, the passionate moments with nothing between your bodies but sweat and desire, and the loving moments that grounded you--kept you from giving up even when life was unbearable.
You felt his love for you wash over you in waves, drowning you in an ocean of passion you didn't wish to escape from. But then you felt your love for him, the depths of which you couldn't even begin to comprehend. Whatever you'd imagined you'd felt for him paled in comparison to reality--he was tied to your soul so completely you wondered how it was possible to have lived without his memory for more than a moment.
As these memories and emotions solidified within you, the false memories began to fade away, replaced by the real ones that had been locked away in the darkest recesses of your mind. Millions of memories flooded your mind, filling the gaps in your life, making you whole once more.
Dean, Sam, and Bethelia watched in silence, waiting for something to happen. Dean wasn't even certain you were breathing, but he was terrified to ask...he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.
Bethelia began to look more and more crestfallen as time went on, the minutes ticking by in painful silence. Sam's gaze was focused on her, praying her expression would turn hopeful once again.
Dean's gaze, on the other hand, was focused entirely on you--on your face. He was looking for any sign of movement, of life...anything to calm his aching heart.
An hour had passed since the spell had begun...twenty minutes of silence had stretched on after your screams had ended. They were the longest twenty minutes of Dean's life.
He had begun to lose hope--fearing the worst, but afraid to voice it. Suddenly, you gasped for air, bolting upright as you sucked in gulps of oxygen. Dean ran to you, breaking free of his brother's relaxed grip--not giving a damn if he was allowed to enter the room or not.
He dropped to his knees beside you, reaching out to grab your face. "(Y/N)? Sweetheart, can you hear me?"
Your eyes met his and his breath caught in his chest. Those sweet (y/e/c) eyes he loved so much were full of recognition--full of love. "Dean," you whispered hoarsely.
He wrapped you in a hug so tightly you thought he might squeeze every ounce of air from your lungs, but you couldn't be bothered to care. You were squeezing him back just as tightly, feeling at home in his arms.
He leaned back to look at your face again, brushing your hair back to see you more clearly. He hadn't realized how different you'd looked when your memories were gone--not until this moment. As he looked at you, he noticed all the little things he hadn't taken the time to pay attention to before. Your skin seemed to glow with love and warmth, your eyes sparkled more brilliantly than they had in the past few days, and your smile was bright enough to pierce through any darkness.
"Baby?" he asked tentatively, needing to hear the confirmation from your lips.
"I remember," you whispered softly, leaning forward to brush your lips against his.
He wrapped his arms around you again, tugging you close, and kissing you with as much passion as he could muster. The moment was so pure, so full of love, that both Sam and Bethelia were moved by it. The love the two of you shared was beyond what an average person would ever experience--incomprehensible to most.
When you finally separated, Dean leaned his forehead against yours. "You scared me for a minute," he admitted.
"I told you I'd be okay," you murmured. "Have a little faith, my love."
He smiled. "God I missed you."
"I missed you too."
Dean finally pulled away from you and rose to his feet. He took your hand in his and helped you up, your body still weak from the intensity of the spell.
You smiled warmly at the two people standing a few feet away. "Hey Sammy. Miss me?"
Sam grinned and stepped forward to wrap you in a hug. "Of course I did."
When he stepped back, you addressed Bethelia. "I can't thank you enough."
Bethelia smiled and gestured between you and Dean. "This right here? This is thanks enough. It has been a long time since I've witnessed a love this pure. I feel honored to have been able to witness it again."
You looked up at Dean as he smiled down at you. He kissed your forehead and you leaned into him. "I feel honored to be able to experience it--especially knowing what it's like to live without it."
"I know the feeling," he murmured.
"Not to bring the mood down, but I remember what happened in Colorado," you said softly.
Sam and Dean looked at you, both waiting to hear what you recalled.
"I saw you on the floor--unconscious--and I let my guard down. I was terrified you were dead...that's when she got me."
"The witch," Dean stated quietly.
You nodded. "She knew my name--knew yours too. All she told me was she wanted you to pay. She didn't explain what she meant."
"Why the hell did she target you if she wanted me to pay?"
"She had to have known what losing me would do to you--that it would hurt you more deeply than anything she could ever have done to you directly."
Dean felt a mixture of sorrow and anger. No one was going to get away with hurting you, not as long as he drew breath.
"All I remember after that was the pain...so much pain. Then I woke up in a house in a city I've never lived in before with a whole life I didn't remember. But as far as I was concerned, that was my life. It felt so real--up until the day you waltzed in."
Dean reached out and touched your face. "Anyone who dares hurt you is destined for a short life."
You'd known he'd want to kill the witch, and to be honest, you didn't blame him. Hunting monsters was your life--and this witch certainly counted as one. "We'll find her Dean."
"Damn right we will. I'll put a bullet right through her skull. See how she likes having her mind messed with."
You placed a gentle hand to your husband's arm, trying to calm him. "For now, let's just focus on the good things. I have my memories back and I'm with you. That's what matters."
Dean nodded and offered you a weak smile. "You're right, baby. You're right."
You turned to Bethelia with a smile, thanking her once again, as did Sam and Dean. You were surprised when Dean gave the witch a hug--he wasn't an affectionate man by nature, especially with strangers, but she'd saved your life in his estimation...so she got a pass.
"You're the only witch I've ever liked," Dean commented as the three of you prepared to leave.
Bethelia laughed. "There are others like me out there, I can assure you. We're not all monsters, hunter."
Dean nodded. "Perhaps not."
You grabbed his hand and tugged it gently as you started toward the Impala. "Come on, handsome. It's time to go."
The three of you piled into the car, waving goodbye to Bethelia as you pulled away.
"I'm so ready to go home," you mumbled with a yawn.
"Me too, baby."
"Me three," Sam added.
"Do you want to stop at a motel to rest?" you asked softly.
Dean's gaze rested on your face, drinking it in like he was scared he'd forget it. "Not a chance, sweetheart. I wanna get you home as quickly as possible."
The hungry look in his eyes belied his hidden meaning and you silently hoped Sam didn't notice. "Try not to drive too fast," you teased.
"I would never," he said in mock offense. He pressed firmly on the accelerator and the Impala shot down the road at an assuredly illegal speed.
You laughed and shook your head, knowing full-well Dean would get you home in one piece, even if it was a little faster than it should be.
**********
Fourteen hours later, you were back home in your beloved bunker in Lawrence, Kansas. What should have taken nearly sixteen hours, was shortened by Dean's intense desire to get home.
"Oh I missed this place," you said with a smile as you entered.
"You didn't even remember it existed until a few hours ago," Dean chided.
"I missed it without even knowing what I was missing...kinda like I missed you," you teased back.
He smiled, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist. "Not nearly as much as I missed you."
You leaned back into him. "That could be because you actually remembered me."
"There's not a chance in hell I could forget you." He pressed gentle kisses to your neck down to your shoulder.
"As happy as I am to have you back," Sam interrupted. "Could you two get a room?" His voice was light and teasing, which made you laugh.
"Oh come on, Sammy--it's nothing you haven't seen before," Dean said with a grin. "Just a man loving his gorgeous wife."
Sam rolled his eyes affectionately. "I'll go get my noise canceling headphones. You two have fun getting reacquainted."
You watched Sam walk off towards his bedroom, a small smile playing on your face.
"So you think we should get...reacquainted?" Dean murmured against the shell of your ear.
"Aren't you exhausted from all the driving?"
"I'm never too tired for you, baby."
You turned around to face him, leaning into his strong body. "I think you should take me to bed then, Mr. Winchester."
"It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Winchester." Dean slipped his arms under your round bottom, lifting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist. He held you closely as he carried you towards your shared bedroom.
As he made his way to your room, you spent every second pressing kisses to his face sweetly, tangling your fingers in his short hair.
"You better stop that or I might take you right here on the table," he growled lowly.
"It's not like we haven't before," you giggled.
Dean groaned. "I don't wanna scar Sam for life--otherwise, I'd have you on every surface in this damn bunker."
"Maybe later then," you murmured as you kissed his neck affectionately.
Dean moved more quickly, the need to get you into his bed becoming overwhelming. As soon as he made it into the bedroom, he kicked the door closed, pressing you against it as he attached his lips to yours hungrily.
You gasped slightly before returning his passionate kiss. You tugged on his jacket, silently begging him to remove it. He pulled away just long enough to rip his jacket and flannel off before kissing you again.
His strong hands slid up under your shirt, moving upwards to tug it off over your head. His lithe fingers unsnapped your bra with practiced ease and pulled it forward to reveal the swell of your breasts.
"I've missed these," he murmured, lips immediately finding their home between the valley of your breasts. He took his time nipping and sucking at each one, playing with your nipples just the way you liked.
Your fingers dug into his scalp as you held him close to you, reveling in the feeling of his lips on your body. Your core pulsed with aching need, but you ignored it as best you could. You didn't want to rush him...not after all this time apart.
Dean loved how soft you felt against his toned form--he couldn't describe how much he'd missed touching you so intimately. This wasn't the first time the two of you had been torn apart from each other, but it had been the toughest time for him.
He felt your soft hands clutching at his shirt, desperate to remove it. Dean smirked against your skin before turning around and tossing you onto the bed. He tugged his shirt off over his head and threw it across the room, giving you a clear view of his impressive torso.
He started to climb onto the bed, but you stopped him. "Pants too, please."
He chuckled. "Impatient, are we?"
You shook your head. "I just want to see your perfect body on display--just for me."
He raised his eyebrows, but did as you asked, removing his pants slowly, eyes locked on yours.
You could see his hard member straining against his boxers, practically begging to be touched. You crawled across the bed, coming closer to him, eyes trained on your target.
"Whatcha doin' baby?"
Your eyes flicked up to meet his, tongue darting out to dampen your lips. "Wanna taste you."
Dean exhaled sharply, but there was no way he was going to say no to your request. He watched as you rolled over onto your back, head hanging off the edge of the bed. His breath caught in his chest as he realized your intentions. "You sure?" he whispered.
You grinned cheekily. "Come on pretty boy--use me."
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, quickly ridding himself of his last article of clothing. He gripped his large cock tightly in his right hand and stepped forward. He tapped against your mouth gently. "Open wide, sweetheart."
You happily obliged, mouth opening as wide as you could to accommodate his size. He slid slowly into your warm, wet mouth, groaning softly at the feeling.
You made a little noise of pleasure, wrapping your hands around his muscular thighs to get more comfortable and pull him even closer to you.
Dean's motions started out slow, but he quickly lost himself in the feeling of you, listening to the delicious sounds you were making. Within moments, he'd begun fucking your face properly, obscene sounds escaping his lips.
"Fuck--that's it baby. S-so good for me."
You moaned happily, fingers digging into his skin as you continued to take him deep in your throat. He leaned forward to grab at your breasts, massaging them and pinching your nipples as he thrust, which only increased your enjoyment.
Dean felt his orgasm quickly approaching, but he wasn't ready to cum just yet. He eased his cock out of your mouth and took a step back, chuckling softly at your whine.
"Don't worry, baby--I'm nowhere near done." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your messy lips before rising back up to his full height. "Get comfortable, sweetheart--it's my turn."
You quickly rotated your body so your head rested comfortably on the pillows at the head of the bed. Dean wasted no time joining you on the bed, quickly unsnapping your jeans before pulling them off along with your panties.
He wedged himself between your legs, lowering himself to lie flat on the bed. He inhaled deeply, face mere inches from your aching pussy.
"You smell delicious, baby--can't wait to taste you."
Dean's tongue slipped out of his mouth, running a thick stripe up your pussy before sliding between your lips to begin his assault.
Your hips shot off the bed, causing Dean to lay his arm across your abdomen to hold you in place. He didn't want you to be able to squirm away while he gave you as much pleasure as he could.
Your fingers entwined in his hair as he ate you out like it was the last thing he'd ever do. It felt so incredibly good and your moans of pleasure spurred him on.
"D--feels s-so good."
He moaned into your core, the vibrations making you cry out in pleasure. He sped up his ministrations, years of practice with you making him an expert on your body.
"So close," you whimpered.
Dean slipped two fingers inside of you, curling them to press against your g-spot rapidly. Within moments, your orgasm crashed into you with violent intensity, hips jacking off the bed despite Dean's attempts to hold you in place. He kept up with your movements, not stopping until you pulled him up by his hair.
He licked his lips with a smirk, enjoying the lingering taste of you. His normally bright green eyes were dark with arousal as he looked at your blissed out face. He hovered over you, eyes scanning your face as if to memorize every inch of it, before leaning down to kiss you deeply.
You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer to you. You loved the feeling of his strong body against yours, enjoying the warmth emanating from his heated skin.
"I need you, (Y/N/N)," he whispered against your lips. "Please."
"Wanna feel you inside me, Dean--make me forget my own name."
He growled lowly. "I can do that for you, baby. Only thing you'll be able to say is my name."
You moaned softly, lifting your hips to press against his, earning a sharp inhale from his lips. He slipped his cock in between your folds, entering you completely with one harsh thrust.
You cried out at the feeling of fullness, slight pain mixing with the pleasure. No matter how many times you'd made love to this man, he never failed to make you feel incredible. Every time was like the first time in the first few moments, before quickly morphing into an unforgettable experience with someone who knew your body better than you did.
"Move baby--please," you begged.
He always waited for a few moments, never wanting to cause you any undue pain, but as soon as those words left your mouth, he began to thrust into you in earnest.
"Shit, sweetheart--missed this sweet little pussy. Squeezing me so good, feels like heaven."
"Harder, Dean--please."
Dean shifted his body to give you what you needed, thrusts now deeper and faster than before. His fingers dug into your hips so tightly that bruises were sure to appear.
Your moans reverberated throughout the room, spurring Dean on. His own noises were absolutely sinful--and you loved hearing them. Your nails dug into his muscular back, trying desperately to ground yourself in the sea of pleasure.
You felt your orgasm approaching and you voiced as much to Dean, who was already well-aware.
"Want you to cum for me, baby. I wanna feel you make a mess on my cock."
You whimpered, clinging to him tightly as he continued his measured thrusts. "Dean..."
"I've got you, gorgeous. Let go for me."
You cried out in pleasure as your second orgasm washed over you, body shaking beneath his, waves of pleasure overwhelming your senses.
Dean worked you through your high, waiting until your body stopped shaking before gently rolling you onto your stomach. You tried to lift your hips to accommodate him, but he gently pressed you back down into the mattress.
"I've got this baby girl, just get comfortable."
He slid into you, laying his body on top of you, covering you like a heated blanket. The angle of his thrusts instantly sent you spiraling--body trembling beneath him.
"Fuck, sweetheart--how's this pussy still so fuckin' tight?" he growled in your ear.
You were clenching him tightly, intense pleasure slamming into your core with each thrust he made. You could hardly breathe--the pleasure already so blinding.
"You're close again, aren't you? I can feel it, baby," Dean murmured against your neck.
You couldn't do anything other than moan and whine as he fucked you deeper into the mattress. He was right--you were on the brink of another blinding orgasm.
"I wanna fill this sweet pussy up, baby--but I can't do that until you cum for me."
You whimpered softly, Dean's thrusts continuing.
"Tell me what you need, sweetheart."
"Don't stop--" you gasped.
Dean continued his motions, not changing a single thing. He knew you were close--all you needed was a little push. His lips were so close to your shoulder, brushing softly against your skin. On a particularly hard thrust, Dean bit into your shoulder blade, drawing a scream of pleasure from your throat as you came around him.
He slowed his motions, not quite ready to cum, but not wanting to stop. He kissed the bite mark gently, making sure you felt his love for you in each kiss.
When you'd come down from your high, Dean eased you onto your back, cock still buried deep inside you. He began slow, gentle thrusts, waiting for you to refocus on him.
After several moments, your eyes finally met his and he smiled warmly. "There you are."
"Dean..." you whispered.
"I'm right here, baby."
"Want you to fill me up," you begged softly.
Dean groaned. "You keep squeezing me and looking at me like that and I'm a goner."
You gave him a weak smile and clenched your pussy as tightly as you could. He gasped softly, hips stuttering slightly.
"Cum for me, Dean--please."
"Gonna f-fill you up, baby...s-so close."
You wrapped your weak legs around him, holding him against you. You placed a gentle palm against his cheek, forcing him to continue looking at your loving expression.
His thrusts had become sloppy and his breathing labored. A few more thrusts and he exploded inside of you, cries of pleasure leaving his lips as he filled you up. His spend leaked out of you as his thrusts began to slow to a halt, lips pressing into your sweaty skin in gentle kisses.
"I love you," he whispered repeatedly. "So, so much."
Finally, Dean collapsed on top of you, softening member still inside of you. The two of you laid like that for several minutes, entangled together comfortably. You held him tightly, almost afraid to let go.
Dean slowly began to lift himself off of you, leaving you cold and empty. You whimpered softly, reaching for him as he got off the bed.
He turned to you and smiled. "I'm coming right back, baby. I promise."
He moved slowly towards the sink in the corner of the room before returning with a warm, wet washcloth to clean your mixed spends from between your legs. Each touch made you shiver, but his gentle voice grounded you.
"I've got you, baby. Almost done."
Once he'd finished, he tossed the washcloth across the room before crawling back into bed with you. He laid down beside you and tugged you into him. You angled your body to lay your head on his chest.
The two of you laid in silence for so long you began to wonder if he'd fallen asleep. He had to be tired after that drive and the exertion of your love making, so you didn't blame him.
Just as you began to drift off to sleep yourself, you heard Dean's soft voice. “Babe? Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” you said softly.
“Do you want that normal, apple pie kinda life?”
You laughed quietly, shaking your head against his chest. “Absolutely not."
“Really? Not even a little?”
You looked up at him, expression softening. “Not even a little. I happen to love our life. I love living in a weird underground bunker. I love driving all over god’s green earth in our ancient Impala. I love staying in seedy motels and eating shitty diner food. I love saving people and hunting monsters. Do you know why?”
He shook his head.
“Because I get to do it all with you.”
He smiled at you, gaze exceptionally tender.
“I couldn’t ask for anything better than this beautiful, messy life of ours.”
He leaned in to kiss you sweetly. “I love you so damn much, baby.”
“I love you too, Dean Winchester. Always.”
You settled back against his warm chest, listening to the solid beating of his heart. You knew tomorrow would bring another battle, another problem to solve, but for right now, you were exactly where you needed to be--in the arms of the man you loved with all your soul, feeling safe and loved...finally home.
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x wife!reader#dean winchester x reader smut#dean winchester smut#supernatural smut
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“Tim. Timmy. Ancients, kid, what are you doing?!”
Danny Phantom smacked away the instinctual terror of seeing an eight year old dangling out of a third story window.
“I gotta go take pictures of Batman and Robin! They’re out tonight!”
Danny thought that his barely healed vivisection wound might bust open from the sheer stress.
“Setting aside how you even know the patrol schedule of honest to god vigilantes, why’d you choose the window? The house is literally empty, just walk out the front door, for Ancient’s sake.”
Tim paused, a motion Danny was overwhelmingly thankful for, and blinked sheepishly.
“Um… for the aesthetic?”
Danny allowed the silence to settle between them before dropping his head into his waiting hands. Tim panicked.
“You- you can’t stop me!”
And yeah, Danny really can’t. In the months he’s been mooching off of the Drakes (not that they’ll notice), Danny’s learned that Tim Drake is nothing but relentless in the pursuit of whatever he sets his mind on. Whether thet might be putting hot chocolate in his cereal (which Danny doesn’t actually mind) or, apparently, stalking a pair of vigilantes.
He wanted to hack into the library cameras? Danny had to hover just to make sure the kid didn’t get caught after arguing for an hour about it.
He walked out of that argument with a loss, yes, but he also let Tim know that Danny cared about him. Danny also walked out of that argument with a new hatred for Janet and Jack Drake and his mind (just as diabolical as Tim’s) whirring with plans to haunt them.
Tim is never ever introducing his new little brother to Tucker. Ever.
“Okay. I don’t want to see you take unnecessary risks, but I’m also aware that I can’t really stop you. So. I’ll go with you.”
Maybe this is like… Tim’s obsession? When he put it that way, Danny lost the fight to prevent this tiny kid from what clearly is the only joy in his poor life.
“But…!” Tim’s eyes darted to Danny’s chest, the vivisection scars still fresh in his mind.
“They’re healed.” Danny pulled his dumbass little brother off the window sill, core settling as Tim follows willingly. “I’ll make us invisible and fly with you behind Batman and Robin so you can get even better shots. You can’t make any noise, though. That camera got a shutter sound, right?”
“Yeah!” Tim’s face brightened and Danny melted. He shoved a bottle of the (incredibly stinky but helpful in a pinch) ecto contaminated tap water into a backpack, along with some snacks and a blanket for when Tim gets cold. Danny’ll be fine, he’s got a Space Core. The cold his kind of his thing.
“Cool. We’ll stay out of earshot. If things starts to get too dicey, we’re heading home, okay?”
“Okay!” The look Tim shot him is full of trust and adoration and it makes Danny’s human heart squeeze painfully. “C’mon! I don’t want to be late!”
“We need to talk about your stalking tendencies later,” Danny said fondly.
“I’m not stalking them! I’m observing them!”
“Uh-huh,” Danny drawled, picking Tim up and making them intangible and invisible. “They’re not a bird observatory and also, even the birds in the observatory knows they’re being watched. Batman and Robin clearly doesn’t.”
Danny felt more than saw Tim’s pout.
He laughs as they fly just below the Gotham-brand of toxic smog. He waves to the City’s Spirit as Tim cranes his head around to catch sight of Batman and Robin.
“There!”
Danny obliged. With Danny’s flight, Tim got much better- much closer- photos than he would have originally.
Danny hung back as the pair of vigilantes swooped down to take care of a mugging.
“Wanna mess with them?” He grinned down at his little brother, canines glinting.
Tim looked up at him, admiration and mischievousness in his gaze. “Yes.”
Gotham parted her clouds in response to their glee.
——
Dick Grayson, AKA Robin, finally understood why criminals are so creeped out by him.
Other than the whole flippy child kicking grown people’s asses and winning thing, obviously (that, and Batman loomed menacingly behind him everytime a criminal even looked at Robin wrong).
Batman had picked up on it first, but the for entirety of their patrol, they kept hearing eerie little giggles and laughter. Haunting them. Never distracting. But persistent. And so creepy. He got goosebumps.
“B, I wanna go home.”
“Hm.” That’s a resounding yes if Dick’s ever heard one.
Maybe Alfred can chase away the giggles and chuckles.
Robin shudders and follows the Bat home.
——
Danny lowered the temperature as he held Tim up near Batman’s cowl so his brother could giggle menacingly. He knew for a fact that any recording device would get completely cram led by the sheer output of ambient ectoplasm he’s emitting. Plus, it freaked Robin out and raised the hairs on the back of the vigilantes’ heads. He tones it down when he noticed Tim rubbing his hands together.
He let out a quiet laugh, enjoying the flight with his brother in his arm and the light of the stars (thanks, Gotham) at his back.
——
Danny: oh, this kid’s got an Obsession, gotta let him do it safely, he’s a liminal from all that tap water
Danny: *forgets Tim isn’t a ghost nor is he from Amity and is therefore extremely breakable*
——
Danny and Tim: doing crime is a good bonding activity
Batman and Robin, who wants to say no it isn’t but they’re literally a pair of illegal vigilantes:
——
Dick as Robin: *cackles*
Tim, learning habits from stalking them: *giggles*
Gotham Criminals: *fear*
#danny phantom#bamf danny phantom#dick grayson#tim drake is a menace#tim drake#baby tim drake#Tim Drake is a little shit#Danny Phantom is a little shit#they’re messing with the bats#and getting away with it#inspired by dick’s iconic Robin cackle#that creepy lil shit#i love them your honor#they’re brothers your honor#Gotham’s F grade tap water#thanks scarecrow#Gotham’s tap water#dc x dp#dp x dc
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10 Bad Habits to Let Go of for a Beautiful Life (Trust Me, You’ll Thank Yourself)
We all have those habits that hold us back — some sneakier than others. And while no one’s perfect, a little spring cleaning of your daily habits can unlock a happier, healthier life. Ready to drop the bad vibes and level up? Here are 10 bad habits to leave behind for good!
1. The Comparison Game — It’s Gotta Go
We’ve all done it. Scrolling, looking at someone’s perfect life, and feeling like we’re not enough. But honestly? Comparing yourself to others is a losing game. Focus on your own growth, and unfollow anything or anyone that makes you feel less-than. Your journey is yours alone, and it’s beautiful in its own way. Keep your eyes on your own lane!
2. Procrastinating Like It’s a Sport
We get it — that “I’ll do it tomorrow” energy feels good in the moment, but it’s also a trap. The more you put off tasks, the more they pile up and haunt you. Trust, the best feeling is getting stuff done now and freeing up your mind for the fun stuff later. Break it down, set a timer, and just start. You’ll feel like a boss when you’re done.
3. Saying Yes to Everything (Even When You Don’t Want To)
No is a full sentence, babe! If you’re constantly saying yes to things that don’t align with your goals or drain your energy, it’s time to stop. Overcommitting leads to burnout, and life’s too short for that. Start setting boundaries and prioritize what makes you feel good. Your time is precious, so treat it like gold.
4. Relying on Everyone Else’s Approval
We all love a little validation, but depending on it? That’s a recipe for insecurity. Your worth isn’t measured by someone else’s likes or approval. The only validation you really need is your own. So hype yourself up, celebrate your wins, and be proud of the progress you’re making, regardless of who’s watching.
5. Avoiding Your Finances Like It’s Scary
Finances don’t have to be terrifying! Ignoring them might feel easier in the moment, but getting a handle on your money situation is so empowering. Start small — track your spending, create a budget, and set a savings goal. The sooner you take control, the more stress-free your future will feel.
6. Holding Grudges Like They’re Trophies
Honestly, holding onto grudges only weighs you down. Letting go of past negativity isn’t about excusing people’s behavior — it’s about freeing yourself. Don’t let old situations control your peace. Forgiveness is for you, babe. The less baggage you carry, the lighter you’ll feel.
7. Talking Down to Yourself
Would you say those mean things to your best friend? Didn’t think so! So why do we let ourselves get away with it? Cut out the negative self-talk and replace it with something a little more kind and uplifting. You deserve better from yourself. You wouldn’t believe how much your mindset can change once you start being nice to yourself.
8. Expecting Everything to Be Perfect
Perfection is a myth, and chasing it will only leave you stressed and frustrated. Life happens in the in-between moments — the imperfect, messy, beautifully real ones. Give yourself some grace and celebrate progress, not perfection. A “good enough” life is often a perfect one in disguise.
9. Staying in Your Safe Bubble
Your comfort zone might feel cozy, but nothing grows there! Stepping outside of it might be scary, but it’s where all the magic happens. Whether it’s trying something new, starting a project, or meeting new people, discomfort leads to growth. Don’t let fear hold you back — take the leap!
10. Blaming Everything Else for What’s Not Going Right
It’s easy to point fingers and blame outside circumstances, but taking responsibility is where real change starts. You’ve got more control than you think! Instead of dwelling on what’s going wrong, focus on what you can change. You’ve got the power to turn things around — it’s all in your hands.
These bad habits? They’re not serving you, and it’s time to leave them in the past. Letting go of what’s holding you back will clear the way for bigger, better things. You’re already halfway there just by recognizing what needs to change. So let go, level up, and watch your life get a little more beautiful, one habit at a time.
#it girl#just girly things#academia#girlblogging#morning routine#tips#lifestyle#life lessons#understanding#self improvement#self help
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Try Me
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: suggestive
"Lan, c'mon..please don't go." You whined tightening your grip on Lando's shirt. "Stay with me"
"Baby, I want to, believe me, I do, but I told you I promised your brother to go out with him tonight. Why don't you come along with us?" He asked holding your cheeks between his hands and leaving a kiss on the tip of your nose.
"Because I want to spend some time alone with you. Why can't he go out with Charles or anyone else?"
"Charles is not feeling well, and besides, it will be suspicious if I turn him down for the second time today." He explained trying to get some sense into you, but you just decided to be a brat today because, well, you just felt like it. You wanted his attention. You needed his attention.
"Fine. Go with him then. I don't care." You pouted crossing your arms and turning your gaze away from him.
"Y/n.." He sighed turning your chin with his finger making you look at him. "I'm trying my best to spend as much time as possible with you here. If Carlos knew I spent the whole day with his sister in her hotel room I'd probably be a dead man right now. So if you want me alive, you gotta let me go now okay?"
Everything Lando said made sense. It's true that Carlos would haunt Lando for the rest of his life if he knew that he had been seeing his 5 years younger sister for over 6 months now. It's also true that Lando is a bit torn between the two of you. He doesn't want any trouble with his best friend, but he also doesn't want to even think about having to stop seeing you.
Lando and you were not in a relationship, well, not officially, you didn't call it a relationship because you were forbidden to him. You had been seeing each other for half a year and both of you knew that there was something more between you, more than just sex although you never put a label on it. The more time passed the more you liked each other and wanted to spend more time together so it got harder to keep it a secret.
"Give me a kiss" He said leaning down to your lips. You hesitate for a second, but give in rolling your eyes which Lando doesn't take very well. "No, no, don't do that."
You ignore him and head towards the bathroom not wanting to wait until he leaves your room. You just wanted to show your dissatisfaction with all your might.
"I'll talk to you later okay?"
"Whatever" You muttered before slamming the bathroom door shut.
Later that night, Lando was texting you just to check up on you, to see what you're doing, to see how you're spending your time without him and you decided to continue being a brat for the rest of the night. Because you just felt like it today.
'Just took a shower. Think I'm gonna go check up on Charles since he's not feeling well'
You replied smirking knowing that you mentioning Charles would completely push his buttons with you tonight. Ever since Carlos introduced you to them, both Charles and Lando have been trying to flirt with you. Only Charles has been doing it directly and Lando was more subtle with it. Lando was always more mysterious about it, that's probably the reason why you were attracted to him and not Charles.
So ever since he got his eyes on you, he hated that Charles was trying to get your attention. He hated that he was still doing it and yet he couldn't do anything about it because you two were a well kept secret.
'Oh really? Carlos and I saw him. He's just fine so you don't have to do that.'
He was replying back to your messages within seconds. You knew he was going crazy about it.
'Well, I'm gonna go check anyway'
Of course you weren't gonna go. You were all ready for bed, but since you didn't get what you wanted tonight, you decided to play with his head a little.
'Y/n..You have nothing to look for in his room'
'I mean it's not like I have a boyfriend if you really think about it. So..I don't think it would be inappropriate, no? '
'I can hear the attitude through the text. Fix it, before I fuck it out of you.'
His text sent shivers through your body. You threw your head back against your pillow sighing and reminiscing the way this morning the bed was squeaking beneath you two.
'I don't think you're gonna do anything about it'
'Oh, try me then'
#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando x reader#lando norris smut#lando norris#carlos sainz#charles leclerc#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic
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𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐞— gojo satoru
pairing: gojo satoru x reader summary: even after you leave the jujutsu world behind, gojo satoru finds himself unable to get over you. genre: fluff! some angst but happy ending, friends to lovers notes: inspired by the song "haunt me (x3)" by teen suicide, gojo is awful at realizing his own feelings and dealing with them wc: ~4.8k
the day that you leave tokyo jujutsu tech is a dull one.
gojo think this must've been months in the planning, especially considering the fact that you're standing with nothing but a backpack slung over your shoulder with the rest of your belongings nowhere to be seen.
(he later learns that they had already been moved to your new apartment, and nanami and shoko had helped you move out over the course of a month.)
he also discovers that he's the only one that hasn't been informed of your departure, especially since he seems to be the only one taken by surprise as you stand by the entrance and say your goodbyes. he wonders if it's his fault for taking so many missions after geto's defection, and he feels his stomach lurch uncomfortably when he realizes that he's been so distracted that he once again couldn't see something happening with one of his friends.
and now you're leaving.
"you have to promise to visit," shoko says, engulfing you in a tight hug. gojo feels his mouth run dry at the sight, and he can't help but feel panicked when you give shoko a soft grin.
"i'll certainly do my best," you respond, reaching over to tug on her hair. she sighs in return, grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you gently as she stares you down.
"answer your phone, ok? you can't ignore my texts now that you're leaving."
a quiet laugh leaves your lips at her words, and you nod reassuringly before giving her a loud smooch on the cheek and moving down the line. gojo watches you closely as you say your goodbye to yaga, the older man turning away from you to brush a fake tear away from his eye. he presses a soft, floppy doll into your hands before you move away from him, and gojo can see the distinct shine in your eye that lets him know that you're holding tears at bay.
he looks down at the ground when he realizes that he's the only one left for you to say goodbye to, and he can't help the way he tenses up when he sees your shoes come to a stop in front of him. there's a moment of silence during which gojo can feel everyone's eyes on him, and he begrudgingly looks up at you and removes his sunglasses.
if this is the last time he's seeing you, he's going to make sure he remembers every little detail.
there's a sharp intake of breath as you steadily meet his gaze, and you find yourself rendered speechless at the sight of his eyes. gojo can hear shoko cough lightly, and he steels himself before giving you a forced smile.
"so you're leaving," he whispers, his eyes widening slightly when he realizes what he's just said. you seem to be caught off guard as well, eyebrows raising in surprise before giving him a nod. he takes a moment to breathe, aware of shoko's lingering gaze as the two of you face each other. "oh. i didn't know."
"yeah," you breathe, rubbing your arm as you look away from him. "i hadn't gotten the chance to tell you. it seems like you're always off on a mission these days."
"you could've texted," gojo attempts to say jokingly, wincing when his words fall flat. you laugh lightly at his words, recognizing the teasing undertone even if the delivery had been less than perfect. you always seem to understand gojo, regardless of whether or not he wants you to.
"we both know you never look at your phone," you tease back, giving him a pretty smile that he hasn't seen in a while. he chuckles breathlessly at your jab, and he nods his agreement before glancing at shoko.
"neither do you," he shoots back, the corners of his lips turning up into a small smile when you follow his line of sight. "you gotta get better at that. can't risk pissing shoko off."
the space between the two of you is filled with uncertain laughter at gojo's remark, and you take a moment to study gojo before taking a step forward and wrapping your arms around his neck. he stumbles back a step or two at your sudden action, tensing up when you tuck your face into the crook of his neck.
"i'll miss you," you whisper, your breath warm against his neck. he tries to ignore the goosebumps that rise up along the smooth expanse of his neck, too focused on wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him when he feels you start to step away.
gojo knows that everyone else is watching the two of you, he can feel shoko's soft gaze and yaga's sad look as he does his best to ignore them and bury his face into your hair. there's an intense urge to ask you to stay building up inside of him, and he clamps his lips shut tightly in order to keep himself from blurting out his plea. the two of you remain in each other's arms before you finally take a deep breath and step away, giving gojo a watery smile.
"i'll miss you, satoru," you whisper, looking away and blinking back your tears. "i'll see you later, yeah?"
gojo nods dumbly as you finally walk away, giving everyone one last wave before slipping into the car that's been waiting for you this entire time. it isn't until he sees it disappear from view that gojo realizes that he didn't tell you that he would miss you too.
he wastes no time in slipping his sunglasses back over his eyes, clearing his throat quietly before turning and making his way back inside the building.
a week later, gojo hears that nanami has left jujutsu tech as well, and he can't help but wonder if he'll ever see either of you again.
gojo likes to think that he's matured, even though shoko might say otherwise because she's certain she's right. and also to piss him off.
but the truth is, he's no longer the same spunky, reckless teenager he was before everything went wrong in his life. he knows how to sort of work through his emotions now— in a way he thinks is healthy, he might add, but he can't help but find himself frozen in this very moment. there's a weird ache in his heart, one that he silently notes seems to be brought on by the flurry of emotions he's feeling in that very instant.
he wonders if they're visible on his face. they are.
gojo satoru is the most powerful jujutsu sorcerer in japan, maybe even in the world, and yet he feels like he's been reduced to almost nothing when a familiar face slides into the seat across from him.
five years is clearly not long enough to forget you, gojo realizes, physically wincing at the way his heart seems to race at the sight of you. his eyes meet yours, and he holds steady eye contact with you for a few seconds before ducking his head and quietly excusing himself from the table.
he takes a deep breath to attempt and soothe his rattled nerves as he takes a seat at the bar, squishing himself into the corner so that he's not visible from your table. he orders a soda from the bartender, ignoring the disbelieving look he gets in return before he ambles off to prepare the drink.
gojo has barely taken a sip of the soda before shoko is crashing into his side, settling onto the barstool next to him and digging her elbow into his side as she calls her order out to the bartender. neither of them speak until shoko gets her drink, and she immediately lifts it to her lips and takes a big sip that makes gojo shudder with disgust.
"surprise," shoko says dryly, glancing at gojo as he spares a look in your direction. he notices three extra people at the table, and he lets his shoulders drop in relief when he sees familiar heads of blond, white, and brunette.
"yeah, quite the surprise," gojo huffs, taking another sip of his soda. he stares at shoko until she turns to face him, a mildly displeased look on her face as she takes in his furrowed eyebrows. "i didn't know you still kept in contact with them."
"i didn't know you didn't still keep in contact with them," shoko shoots back, raising an eyebrow as she studies gojo's conflicted expression. she continues before he can gather his thoughts, earning a loud sigh as she speaks. "you kept in contact with nanami just fine. in fact, all he does is complain about how you never leave him alone."
gojo swallows harshly at shoko's words, and he thinks long and hard before deciding to remain silent for the time being. he can't find it in himself to admit that the thought of reaching out to you hurts him more than he cares to admit. you had left the jujutsu world, the one part of your life that included him, behind. even if he wanted to, gojo doesn't think he can find the words to express how he's feeling.
"switch seats with me when we get back to the table," gojo says suddenly, pausing to slurp up the rest of his drink. shoko glares at him when he sucks on nothing but air, the obnoxious sound causing her to reach over and flick him in the cheek. gojo grins widely when she hits nothing but air, his infinity protecting him from shoko's incredibly violent wrath.
"no," she says, getting off her barstool and picking up her drink. gojo realizes too late that she's heading back to the table, and he scrambles after her in an attempt to get there before her. his attempts are fruitless, and he finds himself awkwardly standing behind shoko's seat as she takes her place two chairs down from you.
gojo acts normal when everyone turns to glance at him, and he stiffly makes his way back to his own seat, avoiding your questioning gaze as he sits down. it takes a second for the table to break out into chatter again, and gojo doesn't hesitate before turning to the seat next to him and striking up a conversation with utahime. he notices mei mei grab your attention out of the corner of his eye, and he can't help but sigh in relief as he focuses on utahime once again, disregarding her annoyed look.
gojo is certain that ignoring you is much easier than dealing with whatever the hell is causing him to feel like he's dying inside.
the days that follow the dinner at the restaurant are unnervingly quiet, and gojo finds himself sitting on his couch and wondering if he should reach out to you.
there are no missions to take at the moment, and gojo is left with nothing to do but stare at his phone and wait for a message that never comes. megumi takes note of his sullen behavior, and although a part of him is curious about gojo's sudden attitude change, he doesn't think he actually cares enough to ask the white-haired sorcerer about what seems to be bothering him.
a few more days pass before gojo ultimately decides that reaching out to you would do more harm than good, especially with the way he completely ignored you at dinner. he's given no time to even think about changing his mind, and the very next day, he's being sent out on yet another mission.
he eventually falls into the same monotonous routine his life had prior to his run-in with you, and he wonders what would've changed if he had decided to take the chance and reach out the day after seeing you. there's a dull ache in his chest that seems to linger even after he makes his decision, and it only seems to get worse whenever shoko deigns to share updates about you with him.
the two of them know that gojo is more than grateful for her updates, even if he refuses to ask about you outright. he's certain that if he were to fully give into his curiosity that his heart would feel like it's giving out on him, and not even shoko's displeased looks are enough for him to get over himself and just ask you directly. he's even stopped pestering nanami, too afraid that he would give in and ask him questions about you.
it isn't until a long time passes (a year and a half; he's kept count) that gojo thinks he's finally getting over it— getting over you. his heart finally starts feeling lighter and breathing becomes a little bit easier and he can't help but think about how silly he was being, staying hung up for so long on somebody who probably never even thought twice about him.
they're small improvements but they're still improvements, and gojo reminds himself of that even as he walks down the busy streets of tokyo. he breathes out a sigh of relief as he slips into the local pharmacy, the cool air conditioning a welcome reprieve from the sticky heat outside.
he mumbles to himself as he moves through the aisles, scanning the shelves as he looks for children's allergy medication. the sudden weather changes had affected megumi and tsumiki in a way none of them had expected, and gojo was left alone to deal with their pitiful sniffles and soft complaints.
"allergy meds," he whispers, reaching out to grab a box only to put it back when it's not the one he's looking for. "there's so much cough syrup, where's the aller—"
"gojo?"
so maybe he hasn't improved, gojo thinks to himself as he freezes up at the sound of your voice. he holds his breath as you approach him, and he squeezes his eyes shut when he feels your sleeve brush against his.
six and a half years isn't enough to forget about you either, it seems.
"it's been a while, huh?" you ask, giving him a soft glance before looking at the shelves in front of you. there's a light hum that escapes your lips as you bend down to grab something before straightening up and holding out a box in your hand. "allergy meds, right?"
gojo nods silently as he takes the box from you, quickly scanning the text on it to make sure it was the right brand. there's an awkward silence as he thinks about what to say, and he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind when you turn your face away from him.
"it's not for me!"
a noise that gojo thinks might be a giggle leaves your lips at his proclamation, and he mentally kicks himself for starting up a conversation with you.
"it's for megumi, right?" you ask softly, unaware of the way gojo's eyes widen at your question. "that zenin kid you took in?"
when you notice gojo's shocked look, you hastily ass onto your statement. "shoko told me about him when i asked about you."
'shoko told me about him when i asked about you.'
gojo thinks he feels his head spin when he hears those words come out of your mind. he does his best to remain calm, reaching out a hand to lean against the shelf comfortably and wincing when he instead knocks down a row of the cough syrups he had been studying earlier.
"uh, fushiguro, actually," he mutters, doing his best to focus on straightening out the products he knocked down. "his dad took his wife's last name or something like that. but yeah, the medicine is for him and his sister."
he finds himself shuffling awkwardly as you look down at your watch, eyes widening slightly when you take note of the time. he watches as you turn to face the shelf behind you, quickly plucking some eye drops off the shelf before turning back to him.
"i have to go, i'm running late for a meeting," you say sheepishly, giving gojo a soft smile. he gives you a half-smile in return, accompanied by a lazy wave as he waits for you to leave. you stand in front of him for a second, hesitating slightly before leaning in and wrapping your arms around him in a quick hug. gojo tenses up in your embrace, his breath catching in his throat and hands freezing mid-air before he hesitantly places them on your back. you pull back slightly after a few seconds, looking up at gojo with a stare that makes his heart feel like it's about to beat out of his chest before you address him once more. "it was nice to see you. we should catch up sometime."
you're gone with a smile and a wave, quickly paying for your eye drops before darting out the door. gojo remains in his spot for five minutes after your departure, only moving when he sees the amused look the cashier seems to be giving him. he doesn't speak as he pays for the allergy medication, and he hastily makes his exit back into the stifling heat. he starts walking down the street as he tucks his change into his pocket, eyebrows furrowing in confusion when his fingers brush against a piece of paper that hadn't bee there before.
there's an annoyed grumble from a passerby when gojo suddenly stops in the middle of the street, his fingers clutching onto the paper that contains very familiar handwriting.
'can't wait to see you again! :)'
the line is followed by what he assumes to be your phone number, and gojo can't help but wonder when you had the chance to write the note. he begins moving down the street again, his steps sluggish as he hesitates near a trash can. before he can think any harder, he lets the paper flutter into wastebasket, only pausing for a brief second before moving away.
not seeing you over the past year and a half made his heart feel lighter, yet all it took was a five minute interaction with you to make his heart feel worse than it ever had before.
the world loves to play cruel jokes on him, gojo thinks.
the past two years have been a whirlwind of chaos and uncertainty, and he's had no time to stop and think about you while dealing with geto, sukuna, and the emergence of the cursed spirit that calls itself mahito.
if he really thinks about it, he's had no time to sit and rest. from geto's attack to yuuta's training to megumi's missions to yuuji's interesting choice that led to him eating sukuna's finger, he's had no time to sit and truly enjoy the little things life has to offer.
(not that he's ever had the time. the life of a special grade sorcerer is a busy one, but gojo can't deny that things weren't always as complicated as they have been the last couple of years.)
so when yaga tells him that nanami is returning to jujutsu tech, gojo thinks that it's the perfect time to let yuuji learn from someone other than him while he takes care of some unfinished business. what he doesn't expect however, is to see you standing next to nanami, a pretty smile on your face as you greet yaga with a hug.
ten years. ten years and somehow, you still manage to make gojo feel the same way he did way back then.
there's something wrong with him, he thinks, especially because it's starting to seem like he's cursed to always somehow coexist with those he cares about without ever fully being a part of their lives. there's no way he can turn around and pretend he never saw you, not with the way yaga is already yelling at him to go over and greet the returners.
gojo wonders why this happens every time he sees you. he doesn't know how to label what he feels whenever you pop up in his life, and it isn't until you give him a hesitant greeting— your tone shy and awkward after receiving nothing but radio silence from him— that gojo thinks he might finally know what it is he feels for you.
and when the thought of him being in love with you crosses his mind and makes him feel like he wants to die, all he can do is tamp down his swirling emotions with a goofy grin aimed at nanami.
"nanami! what a pleasure to see you here," gojo sings, immediately pulling the blond man into a reluctant hug. he gives you a polite nod in greeting, and he can't help the way his heart sinks when you nod in response and look away.
"likewise," nanami replies, his tone strained as he pulls away from gojo. he fixes his shirt as he steps over to you, and the two of you stand silently as you wait for yaga to speak.
"introduce them to yuuji," yaga says, turning around and heading back towards his office. "and don't cause trouble. i mean it, satoru."
gojo giggles at yaga's words before clapping his hands and motioning for the two of you to follow after him, leading you down a series of hallways before you come to a stop in front of an empty room.
"yuuji! there's someone i'd like you to meet!"
you're taken slightly aback when your eyes meet bright, brown ones, and you can't help but stare as a teenage boy with pink hair comes to a stop in front of you and nanami.
"this is nanami kento!" gojo all but yells, once again slinging his arm around nanami's shoulders and swaying him back and forth. the boy, yuuji, looks at nanami curiously, his eyes focused on the glasses perched on his nose. he has no time to speak before gojo is introducing you as well, his voice softer than it had been when introducing nanami. yuuji's eyes sparkle as they shift to you, and all of a sudden he's breaking out into a boyish smile that only serves to remind you just how young he really is.
"woah! i didn't think you were actually real!" he proclaims, earning a strained laugh from gojo. "when gojo mentioned you he said you were really p—"
the rest of his words are muffled, gojo's hands clamped tightly against his mouth as he pulls yuuji away from you. out of the corner of your eye, you can see nanami staring at you, and you only give him a shrug in return as gojo pats yuuji's head and lets him go.
"you'll be following them around on missions," gojo finally explains, pushing yuuji towards you and nanami. "they're both grade 1 sorcerers so don't worry, you'll be safe! now if you'll excuse me, i have to go."
gojo's out of the room before either of you can breathe out a goodbye, and you tense for a second before excusing yourself and following after him. he hasn't gotten terribly far, but his long legs give him the advantage of staying ahead of you even as you start jogging lightly in an attempt to catch up to him.
"gojo!" you call out, huffing lightly when he ignores you and turns a corner. "hey! gojo, wait! satoru!"
the sounds of his given name has his steps faltering, and he reluctantly turns around when he hears your footsteps getting closer and closer. there's a rigidity to his stance that you've never seen, his shoulders hunched in an almost defensive way as you finally come to a stop in front of him.
"yeah?" he asks, an uncomfortable grin settling on his lips as he looks anywhere but you. he's grateful for his blindfold in this very moment, the dark fabric preventing him from seeing you in your entirety and preventing you from seeing the way he can't seem to look at you for more than half a second.
"i—," you say, starting to speak and cutting yourself off before looking down at the ground. you sigh softly, shaking your head lightly as your shoulders slump. "never mind. forget about it."
you turn to walk back to the room, and gojo feels like he might actually keel over and die right then and there if he lets you walk away yet again.
"how have you been?"
gojo's question hangs in the air, and he can't help but flinch when you finally look at him again, your eyes swirling with hurt and sadness and other emotions that pass so quickly that gojo isn't sure he could figure out what they were even if he tried.
"you'd know if you hadn't thrown my phone number away," you retort quietly, crossing your arms as he approaches you. gojo breathes in sharply at your words but remains quiet, his throat going dry as he realizes that you had seen what he did that day. "why, gojo?"
gojo weighs his options, vacillating between telling you the truth or spewing a lie. the words seem to spill out of his mouth before he can even think about whether or not to say them, a trend he notices is extremely common whenever he's in your presence. "because you've ruined my life."
okay, so the truth it is.
your eyes widen in hurt when you take in his words, and it takes everything you have to not burst into tears on the spot. "oh, i see."
"wait," gojo says, scrambling to fix the situation that just keeps getting worse and worse with everything he says or does. "that's not what i meant."
"then what did you mean?" you ask sharply, your eyes narrowing slightly as you stare him down.
"what i mean is that i think i love you," he says in a rush, ignoring the way your eyes widen in surprise at his admission. he doesn't give you the chance to respond, too focused on saying everything that's been building up for the past decade before he gets cold feet. "you've ruined my life, you know? it's been ten years but it's damn near impossible to get over you. my heart still feels as heavy as it did the day you let, maybe even heavier, and i threw away your number because i didn't see any benefit in reaching out to you. why would i torture myself by keeping in contact with you when i belong to the world you wanted to leave behind?"
"i wanted to leave the jujutsu world behind," you interject softly, taking a hesitant step towards gojo before coming to a stop. "that doesn't mean i wanted to leave gojo satoru behind."
"oh," gojo breathes. he wonders if you can hear how loud his heart is beating in his chest, and he decides that maybe he doesn't care. "does that mean that—"
"i liked you?" you interrupt, nodding your head softly. "or like, i guess. i agree, ten years isn't enough to get over you."
"i was talking about you," gojo mumbles dumbly, earning a shrug in response from you. a loud crash sounds from the direction of the room you had left nanami in, and you give gojo a hesitant look before motioning in the direction of the noise.
"i should probably go and check that out," you say quietly, a smile twitching at the corners of your lips. "y'know, make sure that nanami is okay."
"um, yeah. yeah that sounds reasonable," gojo says, his mind still focused on your impromptu confession.
"i don't think this conversation is over yet," you continue, breathing out a laugh when gojo nods in agreement. he jumps slightly when you take his hand in yours, slipping a piece of paper into in before tugging him down to press a kiss to his cheek. "let me know when you're free, yeah? maybe we can get dinner or something and talk."
"are you asking me out on a date?" he asks cheekily, doing his best to compose himself.
"maybe i am," you say slyly, squeezing his hand once before letting go. you turn to walk down the hall, only pausing to look at him over your shoulder once before you turn the corner. "don't lose my number this time, okay?"
gojo chuckles at your words, nodding in agreement as he gives you a lazy salute. "i wouldn't dream of it."
it isn't until you're out of sight that gojo realizes his heart feels the lightest that it's ever felt in years, and he finds himself once again wondering when you had gotten the chance to write the note.
reblogs are appreciated <3 ty for reading !!
#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk imagine#gojo imagine#jujutsu kaisen imagine#gojo satoru imagine#satoru x reader#gojou x reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru fluff#gojo imagines#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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hiii could you do the reader and jj diving for the necklace, getting attacked by those guys, and jj goes to get the reader with the group checking up on them and they end up getting the bends, going to the hospital to be put into that chamber and it’s just really cute and soft <3
Hyperbaric Chamber
jj maybank x reader
OBX season 4 SPOILERS
a/n: I was hoping someone would request this! I didn’t know if you wanted smut or not so I didn’t include it but let me know if anyone wants smut in the hyperbaric chamber!
“Look, it’s too dangerous for you to dive alone Im going with you,” you stated.
“You sure?” JJ questioned.
“Yeah I’m sure. It’s not safe. You need a buddy.”
“It’s 80 feet down in the dark.”
“I already decided so,” you replied.
“Okay, that’s that.” JJ spoke.
You and JJ were going to receive an amulet that had been said to break the curse of the Genrettes that’s haunted their family for over 300 years. You were a little nervous but you knew you had JJ with you. You and JJ, plus Pope and John B take the boat out to where Blackbeard’s ship was wrecked.
“Don’t forget your safety stop, all right? Fifteen feet for three minutes. Hear that, JJ? Fifteen feet, three minutes,” Pope reminded you both.
“Copy that.”
“Or what?” you ask.
“The bends, remember? Nitrogen in the blood, excruciating pain, death, et cetera, et cetera.” Pope recites.
JJ looks at you and you can tell he will never forgive himself if something happened to you. “Hey you okay?” He asks.
“Yeah I’m good.”
“Okay.”
“Diver down.”
“Diver down.”
You and JJ put on your gear and fall back into the water. You both turn on your flashlights and swim down into the water. There’s a lot of fish but you finally reach the ship. JJ pushed open a window and you both go through it.
JJ finds the necklace and uses his knife to break it off the wall. Out of nowhere someone attacks you and takes your breathing tube out of your mouth. JJ takes his speargun and thrusts it at the guy, he manages to shank him in the arm.
JJ starts to fight with the guy and the guy ends up locking JJ out. JJ calls out to you, his voice desperate and he bangs on the door. The guy grabs you by the leg and cuts off your tank leaving you with no air. JJ screams for you and you scream for him.
JJ managed to break a hole in the door and he put his arm through and unlocked it. He then urgently gave you his mouth piece to give you some air. He looked down at his monitor and saw that there was only 17 seconds left.
“We gotta go now.” JJ urged.
You finally reached the surface and you both gasped for air.
“You okay?” JJ asked.
“Yeah. That was so close.”
“I know.”
“Who the hell was that down there?” JJ questioned.
“Where’s John B?”
The two of you start yelling for Pope and John B. They hear you and you swim over to them. Pope gets the ladder.
“Y/N, hand me your stuff,” Pope offers.
You let out a groan.
“Wait. Where’s your BCP?” Pope asks.
“It’s gone.”
“What? What do you mean it’s gone?”
“I mean, it’s gone.”
“You all right?”
“Yeah.”
“There was a guy that tried to kill us.” JJ breathed.
“We saw a boat out here too. They were armed. We need to get out of here now,” Pope said urgently.
“No, you don’t understand. There’s a guy down there-“ JJ was cut off.
“There’s a boat. We just saw it pass,” Pope repeats.
John B starts to move the boat and you all sail out of there. Once you all get back to the château John B speaks, “Alright what the hell happened?”
“Someone tried to kill us,” you responded.
“What? Why would someone try to kill you? That doesn’t make sense,” Pope was confused.
“Obviously, they were going after the same thing we were, right?” John B stated.
“My stomach hurts,” you announced.
“Hey, man, did you take your safety stop?” Pope inspects JJ’s eye.
“I’m gonna say it one more time. Someone was trying to kill us. We did not make the safety stop,“ JJ replied.
“They have the bends. We need to get them to the hospital. Now.” Pope says worried.
Everyone hopped in the twinkie and John B drove as fast as he could. You and JJ were moaning and groaning in pain. Sarah told you to take deep breaths.
“Y’all are not going to believe this,” JJ says as he hands the amulet to Sarah.
“You found it?”
“Holy shit.”
After what felt like forever you finally make it to the hospital. Your friends held you up as you walked in. Pope explained that you went diving and you need help.
“Their vitals and mental status is stable, and the pain scale is moving in the right direction, but they still need time in the hyperbaric chamber. They just bought themselves 12 hours in the tank,” the nurse said to John B.
The two of you were in a lot of pain and you were panting as you laid down in the chamber.
“Y/N.”
“Mmm.”
“You almost died. I should’ve never let you go down there,” JJ says with regret.
“Then who would’ve saved your life?” You reasoned.
“I saved you too.”
“Ya know we’re in here for 12 hours,” you began.
“Yeah but there’s no one else I’d rather be in here with,” JJ shared.
“You’re sweet.”
“You’re my whole world you know that? I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you.”
“I’m here J, right here,” You take his hand and hold it as you lay down.
JJ looks at you and then looks at your lips. You scoot closer to him and lean in. JJ cups your face with one hand and places his lips on yours. The kiss was needy but gentle. JJ was relieved to be kissing you. Your lips were crushing together.
You felt warm all over and your stomach was tingling. JJ’s heart was palpitating. JJ’s tongue explored your mouth. You lapped up his mouth. After making out, you took a breath and JJ brushed a strand of hair away from your face.
“My beautiful girl,” JJ whispered as he cradled your face.
“I love you so fucking much,” JJ confessed.
“I love you too.”
“I’m gonna marry you some day. We’re gonna live on the beach and have a bunch of kids. It’s gonna be perfect,” JJ talked to you about your future.
“Sounds like a dream,” you stated.
“It will be. So do you want a small wedding or a big wedding?” JJ asked.
“Hmm maybe something small and intimate. Like just the pogues and family,” you suggested.
“Yeah I like that idea. Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?”
“What about Greece or Italy or Fiji?” You thought out loud.
“Any of those would work for me, as long as i’m with you,” JJ replied.
You rested your forehead on JJ’s forehead and smiled. You spent the rest of your time in the chamber cuddling and talking. It was an experience. You turned out just fine and you had JJ so that was nice.
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nobody understands how you did it.
how you managed to swept him off his feet, breaking the walls he had built pieces by pieces, how the fuck did you get him to be comfortable with you? to be open with you? and only with you.
‘never seen him this happy or loose in a long time, lass. what’s your trick, eh?’ the captain pulls a joke, making the rest of the team laugh. ‘i think I speak for everyone when i say, he never brings a girl out. let alone introducing her to us.’
that one is true. years of being friends with ghost, the captain nor his closest friend ‘soap’ has ever seen him out on a date. they encouraged him though, since there have been so many women tried their ways to get close with the big guy, yet none of them succeed.
the masked men would often just shrug them off and give one hard cold answer. they would back away immediately
“guess i just have my ways” is what you always say. even soap couldn’t register how it happened. he couldn’t figure it out himself, he knows the lad way longer than you do.
they don’t believe you. because there is no way in hell that all you did was to bat your lashes, show him your adorable giggle and he was in. there’s gotta be more to it.
so what is it about you that draws him close? what is it about you that makes ghost’s eyes light up each time you step into the room? what is it about you that makes ghost’s heart skip a beat every time he talks to you?
certainly not because how you’re so patient in getting to know with him, right? not because how you trace his scars ever so lightly and call them pretty every single time he’s doubtful about himself. not because how you console him with ‘I’ve got you, baby’ each night a nightmare comes back to haunt him while rubbing his back soothingly. not because how you shower him with soft, gentle kisses to remind him that your love for him is bigger than anyone could have offered. not because how you understand why he can’t say the three letter words to you, just yet. still, you stick around.
definitely not, right? there’s no way. he’s simon ghost riley. no one or nothing could ever be good enough to make this man come out of his shell. it’s impossible, right? you’ll need a miracle for that.
“love?” you hear a voice calls, along with the sound of keys being tossed into a ceramic bowl. heavy boots thumping against the marble floor,
you step out of the kitchen. long hair tied up into a messy updo, clear frame glasses perched on the bridge of your nose. dressed in one of his favorite sleeping gown as your eyes locked with his brown ones. the balaclava still attached to mask his handsome face.
scarred lips stretch into a smile the moment his beautiful fiancé emerges from the kitchen.
he drops his bag onto the floor, pulling the mask off of him slowly. revealing his disheveled blond hair as he takes slow steps towards you.
“hi, baby” your voice brings him home. no soul could ever take away from him. he longs for that angelic tone each time he gets deployed. three or six months without listening to you speak to him is just insanity.
he’d rather lose his hearing entirely than not having to hear you at all.
he’s quick to embrace you in his arms. your face hiding in the crook of his neck, inhaling that signature scent of his that you had missed, dearly.
“what are you making?” he mumbles into the crown of your hair, giving it a peck before pulling away slightly to take a good look at you. “it smells good”
“your favorite” you kiss his chin, causing his cheeks to redden at the affection. “i even bought those lumpias down the 112th street. i know how much you love them. pretzels bites from the deli for snacks aaand, black pepper beef with rice for your dinner. sounds good?”
simon leans against the doorway as he watches you plate everything. rambling about everything. his smile widens even more at your domestic antics. the way you talk with your hands as you mention another annoying co-worker that keeps bugging you and the way you roll your eyes when a splash of gravy spill from the plate.
truly is a sight.
“why are you looking at me like that?” your lips raise into a curious smile, finger moving a dark lock that sticks into your forehead,
he gives you a small shrug. gaze not leaving you neither does his smile.
“you’re just so beautiful”
something so simple yet it makes your stomach fills with butterflies.
you chew on your lower lip to prevent you from smiling too much, but a hint of blush is dusting your cheeks betrays you.
“come, papi… don’t want the food to get cold now, do we?” you change the subject while you nod your head towards the empty seat across. “eat with me”
the two of you sit there while making a small talk. stealing glances every second. feeding each other’s food. soft laughs fall upon both of your mouths when one make a terrible joke.
something you’d see when two people are in love. c
so yes, the answer to that question. it is possible. because you made it possible. you made it possible for him to love again. even if he had to start all over. you made it possible for him to be vulnerable. you gave him a purpose the moment he thought things were looking bad for him.
he found a solace within your existence.
only you made it possible to bring the simon in him.
vbecause you. are his home
#simon riley x reader#simon riley fluff#simon riley x female reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley
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