extradimensionalsystem

[extradimensionalsystem]

Trauma is the response, not the event.

And when we talk about how DID is formed from severe childhood trauma, what is not meant is that what happened to you needs to have been objectively "severe". If you have severe trauma responses (such as DID), then you have severe trauma.

Your trauma is enough regardless of what happened to you.

Trauma is incredibly subjective; what was incredibly traumatizing for one person may not be for another. How we become traumatized is related to a complex web of factors. No case of traumatization will look the exact same.

Trauma is not a competition. What matters is that it affects you. It's enough.

[extradimensionalsystem]

One in the same

[extradimensionalsystem]

We don’t have to be miserable. Being afraid doesn’t make us smarter, or safer. We can’t say, “Things are bad, so this is the right way to feel.” There is no right way to feel. We can be alert to dangers, we can take reasonable precautions, we can seize on opportunities to make proactive improvements. Those are actions; we can take them no matter how we feel, and reacting from panic or fury helps no one. It’s okay to be afraid, to be angry, to be sad—our feelings tell us a lot about ourselves, our own beliefs and values. But they do not tell us anything factually definite about the world. And no matter how bad things might actually be—whether or not they’re as bad as we think—there are still, always, things we can do to feel less awful.

[extradimensionalsystem]

shoutout to the systems who are too dissociated, confused or blurry to ever tell who's fronting. shoutout to the systems who struggle to identify their headmates or know how big their system is. shoutout to the systems who don't have well-defined headspace or one at all. shoutout to the systems who lose more time than they remember. shoutout to the systems who are doing their absolute best

[extradimensionalsystem]

I'm so sorry to ask for help when so many other people are in greater need. However, my partner and I just moved into a new apartment and we don't have nearly enough money left over for food and gas to get to work until our next paychecks. Then we'll have enough to meet our needs, but that's gonna be anywhere from 10-13 days from now.

We're a trans, disabled, interracial couple if that matters to anyone. We're also both CSA survivors who are trying really hard not to have to break NC with our abusers to ask for help. We've done it before but we're both struggling way too badly right now with our mental health to do so again.

Ideally we need at least $50 to make it through but anything helps. I'm even willing to pay back anyone who wants it when I get my paycheck. Any reblogs are greatly appreciated too 🖤

PLEASE DON'T TAG THIS WITH ANYTHING. THANK YOU.

ca: $raphaelschmidt / v: crypticangels / pp: cryptidfriend105

[extradimensionalsystem]

[extradimensionalsystem]

Yet another thing I don't see talked about in the DID community: the host anxiety of letting go of front.

Obviously it doesn't happen to every system, as some systems don't even have a host; but can we talk about the fear and anxiety about potentially never coming back to front if you fully let go, as a host? I dealt with it for a year and a half until I was able to actually start letting go and sitting off front for long periods of time. But there were times when 5 minutes off front fully caused me panic attacks.

This fear especially comes when you are a baby (newly discovered) system. This feeling that you built a life for yourself, and suddenly, you feel like you'll lose it to other people. And it's not that you want it all for yourself, but losing it entirely is what's scary. And there is usually a whole inner world behind you... who knows what happens inside of it, what it can do, who lives there? As well as, it's scary to let go of control of events IRL. Who knows how others would handle it, even if you know them well already?

And that's just our reasons.

Moral of the story: y'all are not alone, and it gets better.

-host

[extradimensionalsystem]

[extradimensionalsystem]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[extradimensionalsystem]

Hey, shout out to systems with "frustrating" or "socially bad" traits.

systems who seem indecisive, "hot and cold", disloyal, dishonest, etc. to others due to subtle switches, passive influence, being median, amnesia barriers, etc. between headmates with very different opinions, wants, and moods

systems who have headmates with "scary" attributes/symptoms, like hallucinations, delusions, anger issues, hypersexuality, low/no empathy, selfishness, need for attention, etc. especially those afraid they're perpetuating the "evil alter" stereotype

systems who never know who's fronting. especially those with memory barriers, those who struggle with feeling any sense(s) of personhood, and/or those who struggle to keep close bonds with people due to this

systems who struggle with meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, pathological demand avoidance, poor sense of social norms, and other tendencies/issues that make being social or just existing in public difficult

systems with fluctuating sexualities and/or triggers that make it difficult to remain with a partner/partners (or to date in the first place)

systems who infight in-system and have trouble making decisions without intense internal backlash

systems who have trouble keeping self care (and may go out of the house dirty/disheveled) due to other mental illness or due to frequent fronters being unmotivated, forgetful, or having sensory issues or triggers that interfere with self care tasks

systems whose "self defense" relies on people pleasing, avoiding stressors, getting overly defensive, or getting angrier than "reasonable"

You are loved, you are appreciated, you deserve to be a part of society, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be understood and given patience... you deserve to be able to create, love, heal, be respected, be treated like your own age, to lead, to have a voice, to feel safe.

[extradimensionalsystem]

apparently theres 5 threat responses documented now!

from a trauma & dissociation workbook page our therapist shared

[extradimensionalsystem]

time to play my favorite game: am i In A Mood or am i Not Me?

[extradimensionalsystem]

a sequel to this post

[extradimensionalsystem]

Your intrusive thoughts do not make you a bad person. They are called “intrusive” for a reason.

[extradimensionalsystem]

I would have the most beautiful situationship with him (<- fictional character)

[extradimensionalsystem]

message to all systems please survive

[extradimensionalsystem]