#just give me like a few more hours from when this is queued

[goldenhypen]

update: definitely a goldenhypen comeback soon ‼️

mayhaps a goldenhypen comeback soon ⁉️🫣

[lavenderspence]

silly poker night reveals | A.H.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader | Word Count: 1.8K

Content warning: basically just funny, or crack, alcohol mention, gambling addiction mention

Summary: A poker night with the silly crime men gets disrupted when a certain someone decides to prove he's not a psychic.

Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Patrick Jane, Richard Castle, Seeley Booth, Harvey Specter

A/N: One day, I just really wanted to write a fic with all my favorite silly crime men and have them be snarky to each other, and that’s what I did. This was literally written for the fun, for the vibes, for the hell of it, and then I just could not, not make it about my husband too. So, even if you’ve only watched one of the shows, give this a read, I think it's fun. enjoy🤭

and thank you to @reidsstargirl for beta reading this 🥺💕

masterlist

“You’re late.” You said after you pulled the door open. A rumpled blond was sitting in front of you - a white dress shirt, a black vest, and a gray suit jacket thrown over his shoulder. 

He flashed you a lazy smile, all teeth, “Yeah, well, when have you known me to be punctual?” He pushed past you, stepping into the apartment, with no care in the world.

His eyes ran around the room, finding it empty of any other presence, “You little minx, you lied to me.” He turned around, eyes running through your body. 

You smiled, eyes sparkling, “Yeah, well, I had to get creative if I wanted you to be on time, Jane. You have just enough time for a power nap, go enjoy the couch.” You threw his words back at him, and then waved a hand around, gusting to the emerald couch. 

You made your way to the kitchen, picking up a half-full glass of champagne. Walking around for a second, you looked at the man on the couch and waited for the 15 minutes until 7:30 to pass, so you could welcome your other guests too. 

You were waiting on Aaron and Spencer - they were coming straight from work, deciding to stay around an extra hour after you to finish up. Harvey was flying in from New York, Castle was driving down, and Jane was already snoring on your couch, and Booth was coming after closing a case. 

You arranged these poker games once every two months, depending on how all your schedules aligned. You’d worked with all of these silly assholes at one point in your life. Sometimes, they needed some time to just goof around and play some games, nothing serious. 

A few other of your colleagues joined occasionally - Rossi and Morgan loved the snark, and Emily was a fan of disturbing the testosterone with you from time to time. But all of them were busy, so it was just you and the usuals tonight. 

12 minutes later, you were welcoming everyone in, and Jane was rousing from his nap, looking even more rumpled than before. 

Spencer and Booth took their usual places in front of the TV, where you’d already queued a baseball game, and left them some snacks. The others each took a place at the table. 

You usually played just one game, so you took your place as the dealer and shuffled the cards. 

The conversation was sparse for a few minutes while you dealt the cards. 

“Why’s Clark Kent not playing?” Rick asked all of a sudden, gusting to Booth with his head. Booth usually joined the gathering every few games, still not entirely comfortable coming every time. His addiction wasn’t something that you’d brought up or were looking to bring up during a night like this. He usually stayed away from the table, engrossed in a game of baseball on tv, or bothering Reid for any useless facts and calling him a squint. 

“Let him be Rick, he needs the night out even if he isn’t playing.” Your answer was vague and it would stay that way as long as Booth wanted to be there and stay away from the game. 

“And the kid?” It was Jane’s voice, and he raised a hand and pointed at Spencer. He was usually sitting the games out too, since the last time you and Hotch had played with him he’d hustled you. 

“Go on, tell him.” You prompted Spencer, as he bookmarked the page he was reading. 

“I’m good at poker.” It wasn’t convincing and it wasn’t the truth. 

You shook your head with a laugh, “Nooo, Jane’s good at poker, Castle is good at poker. What are you good at?” You asked, your eyes meeting Aaron’s for a second. 

“I'm good at counting the cards, and banned from several casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump.” Aaron’s lips twitched, a barely there grin appearing for just a second before it disappeared again. 

“Can I borrow him for a poker night with my author buddies? Maybe even Kate? I really need a win.” Castle asked. 

“He’s not winning against Kate, Rick. She will sniff him out before he even sits at the table. Now, Ryan and Esposito, on the other hand, you can easily steal some money from.” You told him as you took a sip from your drink. 

Everyone else was having a drink - whiskey was the preferred drink at your table, Booth was having a beer and Spencer was sticking to water. 

“Anything to drink Jane?” You asked again. 

“Chamomile tea, two sugars please.” 

“You do realize this is a poker game, and not an afternoon tea with Her Majesty, right?” Harvey’s usual snark was making a comeback for the first time tonight. 

“But her Majesty’s sitting right there.” Jane's chin jutted towards Rick. It was no secret that out of every man currently in the room, Rick was probably the most pretentious one, closely followed by Harvey.

“Haha, very funny.”

“I didn't lie, did I? I highly doubt that the Ferrari parked downstairs can be bought on a government salary.” Quipped Jane.

“How do you know it's not Harvey's?”

“Because I'm not a pussy driving a bright red Ferrari around New York City, thank you very much.” Harvey threw a few chips in the center of the table. 

“Well, said Ferrari costs anywhere between 70K and 120K. A Special Agent’s salary is around 135K, and 170K a year for Supervisory Special Agents. So realistically, yeah, we can’t afford it.” Spencer shrugged, turning a page in his book, not even phased by the looks everyone was throwing at him.

“I like this kid, he’s such a squint.” Booth laughed and gave Reid’s shoulder a little pat. Spencer tensed for a second but quickly relaxed again. 

“Dammed it, I overpaid 30K for this one.” Castle scoffed, shaking his head. 

Harvey produced a business card from somewhere and slid it toward Rick. 

“In case you need it. Fair warning though, get on my nerves, and I’m giving you to Louis.”

“Aww he has a heart.” Rick pouted.

“Never repeat that, never.” The brunette warned.

“And a lot of snark.” You smiled, looking around. They all might have serious jobs during the day, but they were all extremely silly when they were off of work.

The game continued on for another 15 minutes, conversion flying by until Booth’s voice rang around you.

“Okay Jane, no offense, but I need to know. What’s your shtick? What made the FBI want to hire you as a consultant?” Seeley asked, turning a sobriety chip in his hand. 

“Ugh, offense.” 

“Oh come on,” Booth waved a hand around, “I’m one of the best sharpshooters out there,” you rolled your eyes and so did Rick, “Hotchner’s an ex-ADA, Y/N’s a weapons expert and a linguist. Reid over here is basically Einstein.” 

“Well, actually, Einstein’s IQ is believed to be somewhere between 160 and 180, and mine’s 187, so technically, I surpass Albert Einstein.” Seeley wasn’t happy being interrupted again, but he let it slide, used to being interrupted by his own team.

“So Jane, what makes you such a special asset to the FBI? You're not still pulling the psychic card, are you?” To anyone, it might seem judgmental, the way he asked, but you knew it was anything but. He was curious, but he also valued his job too much not to ask. 

Jane leaned back in his chair, laying his cards face down and his hands on top of them. He looked on over you, head to toe, and then his eyes focused on your left - to Aaron. 

You saw his eyes shine for a second, and shook your head at him, already knowing what was going to come out of his mouth. 

“There is no such thing as psychics. Just a very good eye for reading people. Like for example, all night Hotchner’s been a broody, quiet bastard, safe for any time Y/N talks. His eyes light up and he relaxes back into his chair.” You watched Aaron’s posture too tight and reached a hand under the table to lay over his leg.

You were glaring daggers in Jane's direction, but once he was on a roll, there was no stopping him. “Earlier, when she put his glass down, his fingers on the hand closest to her body, twitched. His cologne is expensive, freshly applied - he probably has a spear bottle in his office.  He's been checking his watch, waiting for the night to end, so we'd all go home. Not him though, he's staying over.”

He played with the edge of his cards as he watched all eyes turn in your direction. 

“Oh, and the murderous look he's been giving Harvey every time he catches him looking at Y/N a bit too closely. Also, the clenching of the jaw - seriously knock it off, you won't have teeth forever.” Jane warned before he leaned back into his chair, looking just a tad too proud of himself.

The silence was defeating for a few moments, no one dared to utter a word.

“I don't think they wanted that to be shared just yet.” Rick muttered

“No shit.” Aaron's fingers wrapped around your own as he gritted out.

“And I didn't want to be lied to, but alas…” Jane added, flashing you a grin.

“Oh, you petty asshole.” A grin was making its way onto your face and you didn't know why.

“Oh, I'm about to become even more of an asshole - full house.” He threw his card in the middle of the table, close to the chips.

“Awww, you really are an asshole.” Rick leaned back in his chair, defeated and pouting.

“Takes one to know one, Dicky.” He smirked.

“Are you okay with this?” You turned around and asked Aaron quietly, for a moment forgetting the room full of men you’d worked with over the years.

“I'm good, although being profiled wasn't my idea of fun for the night.” He admitted just as quietly, reaching to push your hair away.

“I'm sorry.” He went to close the space between you before you heard the scraping of chairs.

“Okay kiddos, mom and dad need us to empty the apartment. Go on, out the door.” Seeley announced. You rolled your eyes at his bullshit before you started giving goodbye hugs. 

“If Hotchner's the dad, who's the daddy?” Harvey asked jokingly as he pulled you into a hug.

“Ask Louis tomorrow.”

“I didn't need the mental picture, thank you.” He shuddered and walked towards the door with the rest.

“Don't ask dumb questions then.” You called out, before you turned towards the good Doctor, “Oh and Spence? Keep this on the down-low, would you?” You asked, still not exactly ready to share this with your team, even after having the whole thing come out this way.

He smiled sheepishly and scratched at the back of his neck, “Yeah…too late.” and just then both your and Aaron's phones went off. 

There was no question about it, there was a fun morning waiting for you tomorrow. 

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[darksturnz]

THE MOON, THE SUN, THE STARS.

CONTENTS:・fluff-heavy plot ・artist!chris ・sibling content ・ just really cute shit that makes me want to give him babies? + more WC: 1.7k

Chris sighed dramatically as he surveyed the aftermath of dinner. The kitchen table looked like it had been hit by a tornado—a tornado fueled by spaghetti noodles, marinara sauce, and the uncontainable energy of a six-year-old. Lila sat in her chair, grinning proudly, her cheeks and even her forehead smeared with streaks of red sauce. Her plate was empty, though a few stray noodles clung to the edge of the table. Her plastic cup was miraculously still upright, the faintest ring of milk around her mouth to prove it.

“Chris, I ate it all!” she announced, holding her plate aloft like it was a trophy.

He crouched to her level, crossing his arms. “Yeah, but at what cost?” He gestured dramatically to the spaghetti in her hair and the sauce streaked across the chair legs. “You didn’t just eat it; you’re wearing it.”

Lila giggled, her laugh bright and unrestrained. “I like spaghetti.”

“Clearly,” he said, shaking his head, though his lips quirked into a smile. “Alright, come on, let’s get you cleaned up. You’re not going to bed smelling like a meatball.”

She squealed as he scooped her up, her little arms wrapping around his neck. Her legs kicked playfully as he carried her toward the bathroom, both of them laughing as he muttered, “You’re lucky I love you, y’ know that?”

Bathtime was, unsurprisingly, an event in itself. Lila insisted on washing her plastic mermaid toy, splashing water everywhere in the process. Chris tried to keep things under control, but by the time she was clean and wrapped in a fluffy towel, the bathroom floor was soaked, and his shirt had taken a hit too. She emerged victorious, smelling of baby shampoo and lotion, her curls damp and her cheeks still slightly flushed from the warm water.

“You’re a menace,” Chris muttered as he dried her off, his tone affectionate.

“I’m a mermaid,” Lila corrected, her face lighting up in a smile that made his heart squeeze.

Once she was bundled up, Lila bounded into Chris’s room, her energy seemingly endless despite the late hour. “Can I wear one of your shirts?” she asked, her eyes wide and hopeful.

Chris didn’t even hesitate, opening his drawer and pulling out one of his older band T-shirts. He handed it to her, and she beamed as she slipped it over her head. The shirt was so oversized it reached her ankles, and she twirled in it like it was a princess dress.

“Look!” she said, grinning. “It’s a dress!”

Chris smiled softly, watching her with a mixture of amusement and affection. “Yeah, a very rock-and-roll dress.”

She giggled, clearly proud of herself, and spun again before hopping up on the couch, where Frozen was already queued up on the TV.

Lila settled onto the couch, her little legs tucked beneath her, and Chris grabbed a brush from the coffee table. Sitting behind her, he carefully began working through her damp curls. The brush moved slowly, deliberately, as he untangled each knot with surprising gentleness.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he murmured, his voice quiet.

At one point, the brush snagged on a particularly stubborn knot, and Lila winced. “Ow,” she said softly. 

Chris froze immediately. “Sorry, bug.” he mumbled, concern lacing his tone.

She nodded, her small shoulders relaxing. “s’okay.”

Chris resumed, even slower this time, his fingers occasionally working through the knots before the brush followed. He was meticulous, almost tender, and Lila hummed softly as he worked, a little melody that was both soothing and endearing.

When he finished, she turned to face him, her big eyes shining. “You’re really good at that.”

Chris chuckled, setting the brush aside. “Yeah? Maybe I should quit my day job.”

“What’s your day job?” she asked curiously.

“Good question,” he said, leaning back against the couch with a smirk. “Guess I’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

The movie began to play, and Lila immediately became engrossed, her entire body wiggling with excitement when the first song came on. By the time “Let It Go” started, she was singing at full volume, her little voice filling the room. She turned to Chris with a grin.

“Sing with me!” she demanded.

Chris groaned dramatically. “No way.”

“Please!” she begged, clasping her hands together like she was pleading for her life.

He sighed heavily, pretending to give in reluctantly, though the truth was he couldn’t deny her when she looked at him like that. He joined in, his voice low and slightly off-key, but to Lila, it was perfect. She giggled as he sang, pointing at him. “See? You know all the words!”

“Don’t make it weird,” Chris muttered, his cheeks flushing slightly.

“You like the movie more than me!” she accused, laughing.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, ruffling her hair. “Whatever helps you sleep, kid.”

Halfway through the movie, Lila suddenly sat up, her eyes wide with inspiration. “Can we draw, I’m bored.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Right now?”

“Please!” she said, bouncing on her knees. “We can keep the movie on!”

With a sigh, Chris got up and grabbed her watercolors and sketchbook from the corner of the room. He spread them out on the coffee table, setting up a makeshift art station. Lila immediately got to work, splattering colorful blobs across the page with no clear plan in mind.

Chris grabbed his own sketchbook and began sketching a quiet landscape—a cabin in the woods surrounded by trees, with a starry sky above. Lila peeked over and gasped. “That’s so good! Can I paint it?”

Chris hesitated, then handed her the sketchbook. “Yeah jus’ be careful not to smear the pen.”

She giggled as she carefully added colors to his drawing, her tongue sticking out in concentration. Meanwhile, Chris picked up her chaotic watercolor page, studying the splatters with a thoughtful expression. Slowly, an idea formed.

He began turning the blobs into a galaxy, adding stars, swirling patterns, and two small astronauts: one was Bunny, her old stuffed animal, and the other was Comet, the kitten she and Star had found a few weeks ago. When he finished, he held it up.

“What do y’think?” he asked.

Lila’s eyes widened, her face lighting up. “S’perfect! Bunny and Comet look so cute! Star’s gonna love it!”

Chris smiled softly. “Yeah? I think she will.”

Chris glanced at the clock and sighed. “Alright, Picasso. Time for bed.”

“But I’m not tired!” Lila whined, though her eyelids were already drooping.

He scooped her up despite her protests, carrying her to her room and tucking her into bed. Bunny was placed carefully in her arms, and he smoothed the blanket over her small frame. She looked up at him with sleepy eyes.

“Can you tell me a story?” she asked. “The one about the moon and the sun being in love.”

Chris blinked, caught off guard. “The what?”

“The moon and the sun,” she repeated. “Star tells me that story. You don’t know it?”

Realization dawned on him. He’d overheard Star telling her that story during one of their movie nights, her voice soft and soothing. He tried to recall the details but fumbled through the retelling.

“No, Chris!” Lila said, giggling. “The moon doesn’t chase the sun—they take turns sharing the sky!”

“Alright, Miss Expert,” Chris said, feigning exasperation. “If you’re so smart, you tell it.”

Lila’s small voice filled the room as she began her story, her words slow and deliberate.

“The sun and the moon love each other so much, but they can’t be together all the time,” she said, her voice soft and dreamy. “The moon is shy, so it stays out at night when everything is quiet, and the sun is—….uhm I think Star said bold, shining during the day when everyone can see it. But they miss each other so much that they leave messages in the sky.”

Chris leaned back in the chair beside her bed, watching her little face as she spoke. Her eyelids fluttered occasionally, heavy with sleep, but she pressed on, determined to finish the story.

“The stars,” she continued, her voice dropping to a whisper, “are the sun’s way of saying ‘I love you’ to the moon. And the moon like copies the sun’s light to show it loves it back. And sometimes they even get to meet for just a little bit, when the sun goes up or down, and that’s when the whole sky turns beautiful colors because they’re so happy to see each other.”

Chris nodded, his throat tightening slightly at the innocent sweetness of her words. “That’s a pretty good story, bug,” he said softly.

Lila smiled, her face glowing with pride. “Star tells it better,” she admitted, stifling a yawn. “She says it’s about being there for the people you love, even if you’re far away.”

Chris felt his chest tighten at her words, the subtle weight of them sinking in. “Yeah,” he murmured, reaching out to brush a stray curl from her forehead. “That sounds like something Star would say.”

Lila’s eyes began to close, but she wasn’t finished yet. “Chris?” she murmured, her voice barely audible.

“Yeah, kid?”

“You and Star are like the sun and the moon,” she said, her words slurring slightly as sleep took over. “You take care of each other… just like they do.”

Chris froze, the weight of her observation hitting him like a ton of bricks. He opened his mouth to respond, but the lump in his throat stopped him. Instead, he watched as she drifted off, her tiny frame curling into the blankets, Bunny tucked tightly under her arm.

For a moment, he just sat there, staring at her peaceful face. She looked so small, so fragile, and yet her words carried so much weight. He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Goodnight, Lila,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “We’re gonna be okay. promise.”

He stood slowly, pulling the blanket up a little higher before turning off the small lamp beside her bed. As he left the room, he glanced back one last time, his heart full and heavy all at once.

The house was quiet now, the mess from earlier still scattered across the living room. Chris let out a long breath, running a hand through his hair as he sat down on the couch. He glanced at the galaxy they’d painted together, the little astronauts floating among the stars. A small smile tugged at his lips.

In that moment, it didn’t matter how messy or chaotic life could get. Lila’s words stayed with him, warm and unshakable: You and Star are like the sun and the moon. You take care of each other, just like they do.

And maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

AUTHORS NOTE: i love them so bad, ): i wanna give him a baby

TAG LIST: @jetaimevous @sturnsblunt @riasturns @ifwdominicfike @chrissturns-wife @mattsmunch @pip4444chris @ribread03 @ariestrxsh @angelic-sturniolos111 @pvssychicken @mattslolita @stvrnzcherries @dottieboo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @bluestriips @sturniolo-fann @chrisslut04 @owensbabygirl @sturnslutz

[phlurrii]

It’s finally time to introduce the secondary project I’ve been working on >;Dc

I’ve had this queued for sometime in June, did not check when, so hello on [random date in june] ;D

I’m also here to explain how I’ll be posting this stuff going forward! Everything will be posted here, on my main account before being reblogged over to Soul’s Anchor a side bog with the place holder title. Unless it deals with more adult/suggestive content or heavier topics, of which will be exclusively posted to Soul’s Anchor side blog. As I don’t want certain themes alongside AM! I’ll also be referring to this series as Anchor for short! I will encourage any and all Questions, Mentions, and Thoughts to be directed there for those interested and those who are not, dw! You’ll only see the initial posts here, no asks or follows up, but this is still my art account and I shall enjoy it as I please ;3

Brief Synopsis about the Story:

A queer love story following a cursed pirate and a cult refugee implanted with a god’s eye as they combat the reality of living in a world which was created solely to feed the gods that govern it. All whilst a sapphic couple attempt to help guide the pair along a path to to a better future, one that’s validity comes into question. A dark fantasy story that aims to represent the disabled community, the LGBTQIA+, and SA survivors written by fellow members of these communities.

Also brief disclaimer, I, Phlurrii, am simply an ally to the disabled community, my partner in crime writing alongside me, ArtJunco on Instagram, is our resident community member ;]

Anyways onto the meat of this!

Below is a collection of some, emphasis on some, of the concept art and processes I went through to develop and create one of the two main characters, Lumae.

Here are some of the earliest ideas, the basic thoughts I had in my brain when developing this goober after a 3 hours pacing in my kitchen at 1 am when that inspiration struck. His hair was the HARDEST bit for me to figure out. Which sucked as usually the hair is one of the first things I figure out because of how much I love it, so it was Agony while brainstorming that part.

I also briefly considered a goatee, however it was so cruelly shot down by my dear friend. So in stead we compromised that he may get one later down the line story wise… and see how we feel then. However, upon finally figuring out his hair I was bloody elated, still has some tweaks now and then, but the base is there.

As for this next concept, this was actually the FIRST thing created for Lumae and what started everything else about his character/design! His eyes! They are still my favourite but about him and something I adore whole heartedly! They are the core of his character ;3c

These next few are early refs and mock ups of his full design, testing our colours, experimenting with shading, getting used to drawing humans again, and general concepts I had for him as a character! Also a sneak peak at Ayric, our second main goober for this story! Who was lovingly designed and created by ArtJunco!

And finally his most recent WIP ref! The only thing currently bothering me about his design is the colour for his boot covers, I have no idea what to do with them so I’d you have suggestion or ideas, sincerely, feel free to shoot an ask to the Anchor blog! I’d genuinely love outside opinions!

As for the main curiosity of why I’m doing this, for those that missed the last post, I’ll give a brief explanation below ;3

To help with burnout so I can hop between fixations, help to avoid losing interest in AM in the future!

Keep up practicing humans and critters alike.

To take a break from story telling to do story building! Give the telling part of my brain a break, while still making cool stuff ;]

To have a more interactive blog with ya’ll! One where I’ll likely be asking advice and discussing a lot more hypotheticals, doodling asks, and general audience interaction given I am not bound by any updates! Purely just “ooo… shiny-“ and anyone is welcome to join me ;D

Last thing I request is to please read Anchor’s blog bio/description before you follow, as this story will deal with subjects not suited for all audiences posted/discussed exclusively on that blog.

Anywho, that’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed this brief intermission to kickoff the second project being public!

[1000plants]

Holidays - Christmas

Bucky Barnes x reader (GN)

Summary: An accidental series centered around the various holidays with my beloved Bucky Barnes  

Warnings- Alcohol/drinking/intoxication, swearing, Soft!Bucky (a warning bc oh god I love him he's a cutie patootie), mentions/themes of self-doubt and self deprecation. 

Word count- 3.6 k (WAYYYY longer than I meant it to be, oops!)

Author's Note- Reading pt 1 is important (I recommend a reread)  :)

“GN” for this part is heavily masc leaning (all my gn is written from a male perspective, but there are more tones of “male” in this chapter imo) 

!!!Not proof read, if it’s shit just lmk!!!

Colored text are lyrics from different Christmas songs btw

Masterlist

Read Pt 1 HERE

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Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

You liked Christmas a lot more than Thanksgiving. Sitting on the couch of one of the many lounges in Stark towers, you had a cup of spiced apple cider in one hand and were reaching for a blanket with the other. Mid Friday afternoons were meant to be wasted on doing absolutely nothing… especially when you didn't have a single mission to prepare for.

In the lane, snow is glistening.

With a week until Christmas, Tony had made it his life's goal to make the tower wreak of the holidays. Every room had been decorated with some form of reds, greens, golds, or silvers. Some rooms got a more childish makeover, felt Santas and reindeers, with big faux snowflakes. And the kitchen was a simple winter wonderland, silvers and whites with twinkling fairy lights.

It was truly breathtaking. You’d give Tony that…

The lounge you were in right now was reminiscent of the classic holidays. A large, deep green pine tree stood tall in the corner, adorned with dark red ornaments and cranberry/popcorn garland. The electric fireplace was crackling softly as the TV played the holiday songs you queued up.

You were curled up on the couch, a fluffy blanket draped around your form as you sipped the hot cider. It was a moment of peacefulness that you rarely got to feel anymore. Though, in just a few hours you'd need to go get ready.

A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight,

Of course, no holiday would be complete without a famous Tony Stark party. This was the only one you would have to drag yourself to this season. The big SHIELD party with all the agents, Tony's staff, and more figure heads than you could count. It was going to be 

Honestly, you liked the big parties. They were easy to fade into. Get a few drinks, talk to just enough people, and get lost in the vibes… So, you weren't exactly dreading it.

What you were dreading was leaving the room. Well, no, dreading wasn't the right word… Tony had hung up mistletoe on each entry way in the building, including bedrooms. 

It was at the Thanksgiving party that Bucky told you he liked mistletoe, you had assumed he was flirting with you, obviously. But once you actually saw mistletoe, you felt the nerves explode in your stomach. 

Did he even remember telling you that? Both of you had drunk a decent amount of alcohol. You wouldn't blame him if he had just said that to fill space, it would hurt but you wouldn't blame him.

Dreading wasn't the right word because though you skirted past the flora at inhumane speed, you had a hope lingering in your bones that he'd pop up. That Bucky would point it out and make the move…

But that wasn't his style, and you knew it. Bucky wouldn't wait for some stupid plant to dictate what he did and with whom, if he wanted to kiss you he would. He was bold, took what he wanted, confident and unapologetic. Everything that drew you towards him were the same things that confirmed your worst fears.

You swallowed another gulp of your drink, gripping the ceramic mug a little tighter. It echoed the burn in a similar way  to the alcohol at the Thanksgiving party, but didn't leave you feeling lightheaded. 

He doesn't want to kiss me, you mentally admitted.

Walking in a winter wonderland

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

If you could’ve gone in your pajamas, you would've. Dressing up to the nines was never your favorite, sure it was fun for a little, but once the sweat seeped into the fabric of your shirt you lost interest. 

I’ll have a blue Christmas without you,

Still, you knew once you just got there and found a few people to mingle with, you would be fine. You'd have fun! You’d sing and party! You’d drink a lot!! 

With a heavy heart, and one last longing glance back at your large bed with the welcoming blankets and book on the nightstand… you fixed the cuffs of your emerald green button up and exited to the hallway. 

The lights had all been dimmed, a reminder that you were the last person showing up for this thing. Did anyone notice you weren't there yet? The party really only started an hour ago… a quick peek at your smart watch told you no. No alerts, no texts, no missed calls… not even a Team message.

 I’ll be so blue just thinking about you,

“I didn't mean to be the last one,” You mumbled to yourself, pulling out your phone to check the time once more (and to verify you had absolutely no alerts). As you walked a little faster to the elevators, the silence in the tower was eerily welcoming. With the decorations about, you felt like the creature that stirred in all of the old Christmas tales. Walking purposefully to keep the noise to a minimum reminded you of all the times you’d sneak around on Christmas eve to see if you could catch Santa or something similar.

The main rooms aside from the bedroom hallways pulled you from the distant memories. Carpets that switched to off-white tiles made you subconsciously straighten your back and stand a smidge taller. 

Your shoes sounded loud on tile, forgoing the muted walking in favor of speed. By habit, you hug the edge of the frame as you step into the elevator, avoiding the mistletoe that hangs above it.

How many times had you passed that while with Bucky? They had all been hung up for weeks and surely the two of you had been under them together at some point? Oh, God… Bucky. He was definitely at the party. Not that you didn't want him to be there! But since you’d been in your head all day about him, he was becoming someone you didn't really want to see. 

 Decorations of red on a green christmas tree,

As the elevator rose, so did the tense knot in your stomach. Those same nerves that had you fiddling with your buttons and rings were now transforming into something arguably worse. Hunger.

Breathing out a tense breath, you allowed a smile to pull on your lips as you remembered Tony’s promise to the team- his bribe to Steve to let him even throw this thing- Food and drinks from Asguard. 

The food wasn't anything truly remarkable, it was like Midguard food but with more complex flavors. Things that lingered longer, tasted bolder, but all in all the same. What was remarkable was the drinks. That shit could get the super soldiers wasted, so it would most definitely spice up your night as well.

 Wont be the same, dear, if you’re not here with me,

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

Oh yeah! You chuckled mentally, taking another hearty sip of your spiked cider, Asguardian alcohol is just what I needed…

The party was loud- very loud- you could hardly hear yourself breathing over the Christmas carols. Though, the carols were becoming more and more sparse as the night progressed. Interrupted with more club music and modern beats as the hoard of dancers decided they couldn't effectively boogie down to O Holy Night.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Cowards, all of them, you thought to yourself as another remix of some pop song thumped from the speakers. You sighed and rolled your neck, working out the kinks as you tried to shift away from the bar. Your face was feeling warm and the liquid gold of alcohol in your hands wasn't going to get spilt just because of an intoxicated person.

You were on your 4th(?) drink? But this was the first one that was Asguardian. Honestly? You probably should've just been doing this all night! It hit your stomach lightly and was smooth going down, the type of alcohol that would definitely mess you up if you weren't careful… which was probably why they were only letting people only have one drink.

“Woah, ok, I think I’m getting deja vu,” A deep voice chuckles as a familiar man slides up next to you. You hadn't been avoiding him, honestly surprised you’d only seen him just now. His voice sounded wiggly as he placed a hand on your lower back. Mmm, you might be a bit more intoxicated than you thought you'd get… A spark of heat shot through your body at his touch, your spine stiffened as you tilted your head towards him.

Let your heart be light

Has he been looking for you? It might just be sudden wishful thinking, but you couldn't deny the giddiness that fluttered through your veins at the thought. Thanks to the only lighting being strobing red and green fairy lights you really couldn't clearly see his face, but his expressions were always something of an open book to you. Bucky initially held a carefree grin, but after just a few seconds of dizzying eye contact, he looked concerned.

When you didn't reply (instead just clumsily nudging his hand away from your body), he leaned a little closer to ask, “How many drinks have you had tonight?” The playful tone mostly dropped from his voice and replaced instantly with a deep seeded concern.

Dazzling. 

From now on, our troubles will be out of sight,

You noticed he had shifted his arm to be just enough between you and some person who was dancing quite wildly. You felt warm, perspiration on the nape of your neck and lower back. The dancing bodies and close confinements weren't helping at all.

“Uhm,” You mumbled as you looked towards the bar. Your brows pulled together as you tried to count the cups you had gone through. “Fffffour….” you slowly said, uncertainty laced in your voice. Your tongue blindly ran over your lower lip, like you were subconsciously trying to remember the taste of all the drinks you had previously consumed.

Though your tongue felt heavy, you'd argue you weren't drunk. Grinning as you looked down at your drink, you would definitely be drunk after this one. Almost instantly, you found yourself forgetting he was in front of you.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

“That… doesn't sound right,” Bucky muttered, a wary smile ghosting over his face. His voice cut through your haze, pulling your attention back to him. He gently reached out to tap the side of your cup, the iced brown liquid sloshing slightly, “I think you've had a bit much, hm?”

You wrinkled your nose and sniffed at his declaration, “Four isn't much,” you argued.

“And,” You  quickly add, leaning towards him as a smile pulls on your lips, “This is my first one with the good alcohol.”

You notice his lack of drink, and his demeanor is far more sober than you would've expected. In fact, you don't think he drank at all tonight. He mirrored your grin, sucking in air through his teeth as he nodded down to your cup once more.

“Mh, I don't think you need the good alcohol,” He gently teases, "You're plenty drunk as is.”

“Youre not drunk at all,” You counter, his presence was more sobering to you than water was. It was that same feeling of cold water that vividly lives in your mind ever since the Thanksgiving party. You knew why he made you feel sweaty yet freezing all at once, and you briefly wondered if he felt the same.

“Told you I'm not a day drinker,” He says with a sigh, shrugging casually. He gently grabbed your wrist, loose enough that you could pull away if you wanted. When he knew you weren't going to shove him off again, he guided you towards one of the bar stools. 

Make the yuletide gay,

You sat on the raised stool, just a hair taller than Bucky now if you sat up straight. The ache in your feet appeared as you finally took your weight off of them.

“... it's 11 pm,” you chuckle as you set your chin in your hand, propping yourself on the bar. Your other hand idly played with the lip of your cup.

Bucky drew you in, he always did. The thoughts of drowning out your feelings with drinks tonight flitted quickly away. It was easier tonight to silence all the noise in the room. The music, people, and noise was all just clutter in the way of Bucky.

“Yeah, on a FriDAY,” He replied quickly with a lighthearted eyeroll. Shaking his head with a faux disappointed expression.

You loudly snort and lightly shove his arm at his stupid pun. You don't think you’d ever heard him make a joke that wasn't dry humor or a cleverly worded insult. It was like a breath of fresh air, and you could tell that it was new for him too. Though, the flicker of vulnerability in his eyes was quickly brought back to concern and care. 

From now on our troubles will be miles away,

Your conversation for the next half hour was lighthearted; pointing out those who looked out of place as the night progressed, finding a team member who was getting a little too into the holiday spirit, and those who were very much not enjoying the spirit. Bucky slowly moved a bit closer to you as you talked, close enough that you wanted to believe he felt the same way.

Though the conversation was what you truly needed tonight, your drink hadn't gone untouched. Drinking it a little faster than the others that you had objectively nursed throughout the night. The alcohol definitely hit you harder, but you still felt as tipsy as when you started. By Bucky’s wry looks and the slow build in gentleness of his words, it was clear you were more wasted than you'd ever been around him before. 

Here we are, as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore,

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

Though the years I’ve moved a lot,

“I thought you said Christmas was your favorite holiday?” You mumble to Bucky, sipping from the cup of water he had given you once he walked you back to the main kitchen.

It was dark in the kitchen, only the silver of the moon reflecting off the snow provided light in the room. The way it caught the silver tinsel that adorned the cabinets made it look like snow was falling inside as the specks of light reflected off of it and onto the walls. 

“It is,” he admits with a small nod. He had been leaning against the countertop with both forearms while he played with some of the fake snow fabric that sat under a tiny ceramic neighborhood, “Well, kind of…”

Different doors with different locks,

“Kind of?” you echo as you arch an inquisitive brow. You gulped down the last bit of water in your cup, holding it out to him to be refiled once more. You bite back a burp that rumbled up your throat, stomach agitated at the water as it mixed with the alcohol.

“Mostly a fan of the mistle toe,” he reminded you, glancing up at a sprig that hung above the door frame just a few feet away. He did not look at it long, the quiet hiss of the faucet running as he filled your cup once more. He slid it towards you, “Last one, I promise, then I'll let you sleep,” he murmured.

Your grumbles died on your tongue as you forced yourself to take another sip, "Didn't take you as a sap for that kind of tradition,” you honestly tell him. Just a few hours ago you would've scolded yourself for saying that without second thought- no - you wouldn't have even let the words leave your lips. 

“Wasn’t about tradition, I just never found a good time to kiss you,” he immediately replies. You paused, looking up at him and meeting his light blue eyes. If you were any more sober, you probably would've become instantly flustered. Perhaps laugh it off and deny it. 

But somehow Christmas always finds me,

But you weren't sober. And you were a little sick of waiting.

“You can kiss me now.” 

Your voice didn't sound like your own. Though you felt confident, feeling like you had nothing to lose, your voice was a timid whisper. Your tongue felt heavy again, and the turmoil in your stomach only grew as your mouth worked faster than your brain.

It’s been a while since I wished,

But Bucky only grinned. He shook his head ‘no’ as he sighed. He stood up and peaked at your cup of water, not much had really been drunk.

“I'm not going to kiss you when you're drunk,” He whispers, taking the cup from you and dumping it down the sink when he pieced together he'd already gotten you to drink all the water he could.

“I'm not drunk” you denied, letting him gently usher you towards your room. Though, your stumbling steps and spinning vision told you otherwise.

For roller blades and pixie sticks,

“You wont remember this in the morning," He teased. The hint of disappointment in his voice wasn't missed by you, “That is enough to tell me you're too drunk.”

Once you made it to your room in one piece, you leaned heavily against your door frame. The welcoming scent of pine and the warm reds of your bed sheets called to you. Only making the fog of sleepiness thicker.

“What if I do remember?” you whispered, face falling as you tilted your head to the side.

There wasn't mistletoe above your door. You noticed it almost immediately when decorations had been put up. Well, in all fairness, no one had it above their bedroom doors, but right now you were extremely disappointed.

“Then we'll find some mistletoe.”

But somehow, Christmas always finds me

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

Is it too late, too late? To let you know,

Your head only lightly ached the next morning. Pounding back another two cups of water the moment you woke up and mentally thanking Bucky for making you drink last night.

Right…

Last night…

Had… had he really said that? Or was your brain just that desperate for a sappy hallmark-esq Christmas moment?

Well, there was really only one thing you could do.

You did not spare yourself a second glance as you left your room, you already knew what you must've looked like. Hair sticking up in every direction, sleep still in your eyes, shirt crumpled from sleeping like a log.

I can pass it off as hungover, you tell yourself, hardly paying attention as you shuffle to the kitchen. It was early enough that the place was still quiet, a chill in the air from a cracked open window that made you shiver. Everyone else probably drank way more than you did, and they didn't have a super soldier mothering them to drink water directly afterwards.

I can’t quite escape,

Blinking and adjusting to the brightness of the kitchen, you scowled as another gust of wind blew through, Just be vague, but not too vague, you thought as you struggled to pull the window shut.

“Got it?” Bucky asked as he stood from the table, he was sitting close enough to the wall that you hadn't seen him there. His sudden appearance startled a response out of you, pulling your arms back to your body as you jumped slightly.

“I remember,” you quickly blurt out, arms falling to your sides.

You felt stupid as you just stood there, both of you looking at each other for a few silent moments.

How much I need you,

“You… remember last night?” Bucky asks, voice emphasising ‘night’ as he pushes away from the table and walks towards you carefully. 

The way he looked you over made panic settle back in your bones. He was just taking care of you, you were misremembering things, you were just drunk and now you're just desperate.

“Yeah, last night…” you dumbly agree. “Or, I at least hope I do” was silently said.

You’re walkin’ towards me now,

“How much water did I make you drink?” He asks, voice low. It was just so that he didn't wake up anyone else. He probably doesn't want to be too loud since everyone else is also hungover…

“Four. One for each drink I had,” I sound stupid, I probably look stupid too, “But I didn't finish the last one.”

Bucky nodded at you, the small smile that pulled on his lips made your mind go blank. God, you'd do anything to see him smile like that all the time.

“And?” He prompted. With each step closer he took towards you your heart hammered louder and louder. How did he look so put together in the mornings? Like he's been awake for hours… Gosh, he looks great all the time-

What am I gonna say? Push my pride aside,

“And… there's mistletoe,” you mumble, finding your voice with only minor struggle. You didn't have to look to your right to know there was a small sprig of the plant pinned to the covered support beam of the ceiling. You had memorized where all of them were, as to be always close to them but never directly under them.

“There’s mistletoe,” Bucky whispered. And in a moment his hand gently cupped the side of your face as he kissed you. His head tilted to the side as his lips were pressed firmly against yours. They were soft as he gently pulled your body closer to him, your own hand falling to his waist and the other grabbing his shoulder.

When I close my eyes, It’s just you and I,

You didn't know how long you were there with him, though you knew you kissed him back instantly. The other thing you definitely knew was that this moment, disorderly standing in the kitchen that was overly decked out in whites and silvers, you weren't going to be forgetting any time soon.

Hell, now Christmas is your favorite holiday.

Well, mostly the mistletoe.

Here under the mistletoe

[stripedstarsblueflags]

goodbye to a world

reading between the lines of the various goodbyes and dismissals to logan sargeant

Pt. 2: Alex on socials

full series

oh, alex albon. you beautiful soul.

it goes without saying that the social media presence of drivers is so important that it’s monitored and orchestrated by an entire group of people– but a team like williams? they’ve got that shit under lock and key. i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: the shitstorm williams has been in puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on their drivers not just to perform well but to pick up the pieces. they’re at the forefront of the “let’s look forward! let’s keep pushing” optimism campaign that all backmarker teams have to put together for the sake of professionalism. logan basically doesn’t have a social media presence, and you see more of him on the official f1 grid photography dumps than williams’ own account. alex’s posts are more frequent, but the content itself might as well be autogenerated. in conferences, they’re both reserved, careful what they say, always swinging back inelegantly towards the same one-liner: “we’ll look at the data, reset, hope to come back stronger in [next race]”. and unlike teams like mclaren, mercedes, ferrari– the two teammates definitely don’t make posts to or about each other.

alex posts this three hours after the official august 27 announcement:

alex…

this is going to have to be a list again, isn’t it? one post, a few photos, and he’s already said and conveyed so much more than the williams “statements” ever even tried.

first of all, 12:20 exactly? that’s been queued. obviously. we also know that alex found out about logan being axed mere hours before the decision, and i for one think that was absolutely deliberate. they wanted to get logan out– like, physically out of their vicinity– as quickly and as discretely as possible. so are they going to give alex, who’s famously kind and compassionate and talks too much and pays more on-camera attention to logan than practically anyone else in that team… they’re going to give him a heads up? unlikely.

so is there a chance that this post was composed for him before they even told him? that’s actually almost a certainty, but the most important detail to mention is that caption. let’s go sentence-by-sentence.

“i know firsthand how brutal this sport can be…”

wow. okay. i said sentence-by-sentence but i can’t even get past this because… BRUTAL. what a word. this is clearly a reference to alex’s own replacement by red bull. 2019. not that long ago, but considering alex’s f1 presence has already been solidified as “adhd cat dad who can also outperform the SHIT out of a backmarker car” it’s not something that’s called back too often, that he had a shot in a front running team. it wasn’t really a fall from grace, was it? because even in a williams alex has continued to prove himself and put that car way further ahead than it deserves to be. so it was painful but not in a way that, like, max’s silverstone crash is still painful to some people. it’s pretty distant in the f1 public consciousness from what i can tell.

but alex is making a point to throw back to it. not in detail, not heavily, because he’s not making it about himself. the only allusion to the actual event is the word “firsthand”. high is the right way to go about it because saying anything about “back when i” would be going too far, reshifting the spotlight in the wrong direction. but he’s asking us all:

remember when i was a kid and i was trying to build myself up and they tossed me aside like i was nothing? remember when i got discarded by a team that’s burned through so many second drivers already, and left thinking my only f1 legacy would be “that disappointment”? remember how much that hurt?

brutal. what a word. because that’s what red bull is, that’s what they do. famously. but it’s definitely not the word you’d apply to a team that’s supposed to be The Underdogs and A Family and A Lovely Sense of Familiarity and Support what fucking ever.

so alex gets away with this by the way he’s planned out the last half of that phrase: “how brutal this sport can be…” because he says ‘this sport’, not ‘this team’ or ‘james vowles’. so he’s flipping a two-sided coin here:

side one, on the surface. what williams want to see from him and want to believe. the sport is brutal. it is what it is. life’s not fair. that’s just how it goes. no blame but the harsh reality of the sport itself.

side two, between the lines. not too far deep between the lines, too, all you have to do to see this side is not have a compulsive, ashamed, desperate desire to see anything else. this is brutal. what’s happening to logan is brutal. what’s happening is painful and humiliating and you’re leaving him in the dust like he was always disposable, like you never wanted him, like you can’t wait to forget about him and i know because that’s what happened to me.

he’s saying this right to their faces. he’s saying it to everyone.

“…it’s tough to see Logan leave the team mid-season.”

i have a feeling this is the part that was prewritten just because of the word tough. “this is, of course, incredibly tough on” et cetera, we know where that understatement came from. the emphasis is on the fact that the disruption, the replacement is happening literally during the season, which is Such A Mess For Everyone, not the fact that the disruption is logan losing his entire career in disgrace (because he’s already said that part). so this single sentence toes the line so gracefully it’s almost an art.

“You gave it your all brother and it’s been a pleasure being teammates with you.”

this is really interesting specifically for the fact that 1) shortly after james manages to say the same thing as a put-down and 2) he goes on to contradict himself. i’m going to pick up later on the “you gave it your all” part because we will definitely revisit that, but the second half is nice too. it’s not focusing on logan’s performance as a williams driver, or as an f1 driver. it’s about logan– and, to an extent, himself– in a light people don’t tend to see either of them in: as a teammate. when you’ve got a team like mclaren or ferrari where the teammates are so closely matched that their race craft, cooperation and competition is a direct talking point in their racing, we talk about that a lot more often. but alex and logan can spend a race more than half a grid apart from each other, and as a williams driver that’s been true for alex this whole time. so we don’t think of which of them is or isn’t a better teammate because they’re barely driving the same race, and they’re not being treated like they’re in the same team. but even bringing that up in a post is good to see, just another way to give logan an additional title. the williams’ failure, the underperformer, the disappointment, the backmarker, and– oh yeah, alex albon’s teammate. love to see it.

“I know whatever you do next, you’ll be awesome.”

WOAH. okay, talk about shifting the spotlight. what’s been the williams 2024 story so far? i mean, if you were going to use a sentence to describe “how we got here” and “where we’re going”? we would probably see something like: logan’s failure in 24 brought in carlos sainz for 25. the narrative from james vowles in particular is: whatever we do next with carlos sainz, we’ll be awesome. the williams narrative since jv took over has basically been “uhhh yeah we’re nowhere now but WE’RE GONNA BE!! UH! SOMEWHERE! EVENTUALLY!” all about the future.

logan, in contrast… his whole narrative since joining f1 and immediately tumbling has been “he had a chance for a future but it’s gone now.”

not. to. alex. albon. in the wake of this announcement everybody is fucking reeling, and in the context of williams people are buzzing all around colapinto and how he’s been rocketed into the limelight for the better or worse, and all the distraught logan fans are either throwing up or screaming to the heavens, “WHAT NOW??” logan is being pushed aside the same way you’d push some clutter off a desk. he’s evaporating into thin air, or at least that’s what williams are trying to make him do.

three hours in, and alex albon is there to remind us: logan’s story is not over. he’s acknowledging that logan’s future is wide open, empty, undecided and unprepared (“whatever you do next”) but he’s ACKNOWLEDGING THE FUTURE. and the change in tone from third-person “seeing Logan” to second-person “you’ll be awesome”… once again, it’s not about him. it’s not about alex being a nice guy and a nice teammate and showing the world how nice he is by taking pity on this other person who’s leaving. he’s personally telling logan and by extension us: you’ll be awesome. doesn’t matter where you go, what you do, you have the potential to be awesome and so you will be. it’s not even “have fun” “enjoy where you’re going” “i hope you do well” it’s <<you will>>.

“Just you fucking wait,” Alex is saying. “You wait and watch. He’ll show you.”

it’s not just a lovely goodbye, it’s a ferocious goodbye. it’s a statement. it’s a confident send off, maybe the only genuine vote of confidence he’s ever gotten from williams.

and we love to see it.

[copperbadge]

Oh god I got a discussion of therapy all over that poor person’s post about ADHD.....did not mean to spill quite that many personal beans but I queued it when I was tired and it posted before I noticed it was inappropriate. 

I wanted to reply to the comments individually but I felt like I’d be disjointed about it and maybe some people don’t want their comment on one post blasted to 30K people on another post, so in a general sense... 

I know there are different modalities to therapy -- I have no idea what mine were but I doubt it matters since it was twenty-five years ago and I was a child. Part of the problem is that the modalities which are clear-cut in theory seem unhelpfully loose in practice. I’ll look through a directory of therapists and a half-dozen will give different modalities from each other but talk about the same handful of therapeutic techniques, or address the same family of issues, or both. And most of the modalities both in the clinical and practical sense seem extremely unpleasant, so that is perhaps a Me Problem. 

I end up asking myself, “What’s my goal in doing this?” and I picture myself sitting down with a therapist who asks what I’m looking to address, because that would help narrow down my options. But I never have a good answer. So I think, “That seems like an hour a week that could be spent doing something less expensive” and close out of the search window. Then a few weeks later I think “Well, that might be useful, I’ll look around” and the cycle starts again. 

There are so many good uses for therapy, but a lot of what people say they use therapy for, I've done on my own for years, or am working on now and don’t feel like I need help. I don’t really have any problems identifying therapists who aren’t going to work for me for one reason or another, but it’s an issue if I can only tell a therapist what I don’t want to do. Saying “I’m not interested in doing roleplays” is fine as boundary-setting but if I can’t say “Because I want to accomplish this different thing” then all I’m doing is insulting someone’s profession, really. 

So what’s left? Just the vague sense that other people I like and admire find it useful, and my experiences were very much outlier, so maybe I should try it again. But if I can’t identify why I should try it again, and if I’m going to be aggressively combative about it (which...I don’t want to be but I do know me) then all I’m really doing is paying someone to be insulted by me for an hour, and I can do that to people who deserve it more, for free, on the internet. 

niennanir

The thing with therapy, speaking as someone who was a counselor for a period of years, is that it is a tool that supposes a baseline function. Going to Therapy when you have ADHD is very similar to being handed a hammer and told to use it when you have no arms.  

I did want to respond to this comment specifically because a) that’s very validating and b) it means that if I do want to continue looking I guess a good place to start would be asking my meds psych, because he at least deals with adults with ADHD on the reg and can be like “Well, first we gotta get you some robot arms.” 

I just like the idea of having robot arms, really. The hammer’s a bonus! 

...my meds psych is a very nice man but he’s also super earnest and will probably not understand why I find the robot arms thing so funny. 

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (10/15/2024) Episode: Grinding to Victory

Fortunately, the start of school year was easy on Skye, as despite his parent’s high expectations neither of them could spare him much attention. 

Noemi was kept busy pushing her team to finalize Watcher Tales in time for the New Years release, and Luigi was even busier.

Not only did he have his “day job” as an e-sports celebrity to worry about, but he was also working harder than anyone else to get his game to market.

Had Noemi known how much time her husband was spending on the computer in pursuit of his current professional goals she would have surely intervened, so he took great pains to make certain she didn't find out.

He encouraged his shy bride to manage their team (many of whom did not work out of headquarters) remotely by voice chat and email while he commuted to Rainy Days' corporate offices each day. Without her looking over his shoulder he could easily gloss over how many breaks he was taking.

Although Luigi knew resting his hand was important, getting his game to market on schedule was his top priority and everything moved along much more quickly with his uninterrupted, active involvement in the build. If a little more discomfort than usual was the price for that, it was a price he was willing to pay.

With the Del Sol E-Sports championship game right around the corner Luigi was pushing himself just as hard gaming as he was programming, hopping a teleport most evenings straight from downtown to the E-Sports complex in Newcrest for skirmish practice and games. 

He was more skilled than most of his teammates by now in the finer points of Sim Scuffle strategy but felt woefully rusty when it came to putting that knowledge to practical use on the playing field after being forced to take so much time off following the lightning strike incident. 

Placing at the upcoming tournament would finally earn him the title of Championship Gamer and catapult him to the top of the E-Sports career, and Luigi wanted that final promotion desperately. If he went down in history as a bonafide champion, it would quash the recent nasty rumors that he no longer had what it took to "hack it" at a professional level. He had to prove the naysayers wrong, no matter the cost.

The night of the tournament Luigi settled down at his PC and tried to ignore the burning ache that was his constant companion as of late "I just have to get through tonight" he told himself "Watcher Tales is in the final testing phase, at last, and if I place here, I'll earn my promotion. I can do this!" 

A few hours later the announcer finally called out “… and that's it, folks! It’s my pleasure to announce your new E-Sports Championship Gamers… Beau Romano, Frank Harris, and Luigi Lawbourne!" He'd achieved the pinnacle of his professional career that night, but the smile on Luigi's face was closer to a grimace as he gripped his swollen mousing hand tightly under the table, clenching his teeth against the pain.

"Well, your highness, we did it!" Beau said, coming up behind his friend and slapping him on the back as they made their way to the podium to collect their award. "Of course, I still kicked your butt, but what's new?" 

His jovial expression fell away when he saw the look on Luigi's face "Whoa, what's wrong? Is it your hand again?“ At Luigi’s reluctant nod, his concern deepened. "Did you tell doc so he can give you the once over?"

"No time.” Luigi shrugged “I’ll catch up with him tomorrow if I miss him tonight. It's not like he'll have anything new to tell me."

Rather than replying Beau darted away, much to the confusion of the sims waiting to hand the players their trophies.

Reappearing a minute later he whispered "They couldn't start the ceremony without the evenings #1 gamer, am I right? Doc is waiting for you over by the med station."

Luigi nodded, silently mouthing "thank you“ to his friend before queuing up behind him to collect his 3rd place prize.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[strangelysamantha]

My request is a short fluff with Pope. You make the first move with him, at a party. You guys dance along to music and kiss and cuddle and stuff 🤍🤍🤍

party moves ❀

pope heyward x gn!reader.

warnings: fluff fluff fluff that’s all and swearing and slight mention of drinking (it’s a party come on)

words: 829.

summary: it’s a boring party until pope shows up, and the atmosphere makes it easy to express your true feelings.

request? yes!

a/n: this is such a cute prompt ty! <3

my masterlist

——————————————————————————

kiara was very excited as the two of you prepped for her party. you helped her hang some ribbons, “thank you for helping me set up,” she starts, “it’s a lot easier when there’s two people.” you agree smiling, “of course, plus i love decorating.” you string up some led lights, the purple radiating hue added a nice touch. “yknow popes going to be here right?” she smirked, softly nudging you shoulder. redness rises to your face, embarrassment flooding in. “so?” you question. “it’s time to make a move! you like him, and i know he likes you.” you shake your head, “i don’t want to ruin our friendship, i can’t loose him kie.” she understands, “you won’t loose him, and besides, you shouldn’t let doubt get in the way of a potential relationship.” her words reassure you, and it gives you that boost of motivation you so desperately needed.

this party was just a stepping stone in the right direction; if you played your cards right, you might end up with a boyfriend by the end of the night. crowds of people started arriving at the party, you and kiara shared a enthusiastic high five, proud of the turn out. you keep your eyes out for pope, hopeful he approaches you first. you stand with a red solo cup in hand, swaying gently to the music, jj approached you first, “hey, nice party.” he chugs his solo, you laugh at his behavior, sure he’ll end up in bed with a hottie from the party. “thank you j, did you happen to come with pope?” he shakes his head, “no he had a few chores to do then he said he’d come.” you frown, hoping his chores wouldn’t take too long.

you found it more difficult to pass time when pope wasn’t by your side. you entertained yourself with kiara, following her around the party, greeting guests. only bothering because you were on the lookout for someone in particular. you become a little disappointed as it had already been almost an hour. the party was still thriving, the upbeat music blasting loudly as people yell drunkenly. you found a couch to sit on, distracting yourself in your phone. suddenly a body sits by you on the couch. you quickly look up, confused. a smile creeps on your face as you finally see pope. he’s ecstatic to have made it. “sorry i’m late, the party decor is awesome!” his compliment fulfills you, “thank you, i’m so glad you made it.”

“of course, i wouldn’t miss this for the world!” he continues to sit by you, taking in his scenery. “do you want a drink?” you ask. he hesitates but ultimately gives in. “let’s go!” you grab his arm and drag him through the party, looking for any alcohol. however, the alcohol was gone. only discovering empty bottles you shrug, “is that okay?” he laughs, “of course.” you two hesitate in front of the table, you recall what kiara had said earlier. “do you maybe wanna dance with me?” he chuckles, “yes!” you follow him out on the dance floor, the two of you jumping in the middle of the crowd. the music was motivating. you reach for his hands, holding them tight as you continued to dance.

a slower romantic song had been queued, everybody slowed down. you instantly cut the distance between the two of you, you put your arms around his neck, nestling your face in his chest. his arms hang around your waist. you sigh contently, peaceful in his arms. you lift your head to look at him, his pretty eyes locked on yours. the moment felt right, and if you didn’t do it today, when would you ever find the courage? you glance up at his eyes, to his lips, back to his eyes. after a few seconds you lean in and kiss him. with your eyes shut, grip tighter, you melt into his touch. he kisses you back, pulling you as close as he can. you stay kissing until you physically have to pull away for some air. the taste of him still on yours lips.

“pope, let’s sit down for a second.” he’s quick to follow you back to the couch. “is everything okay?” he was always so caring and concerned for you. “yes, i’m okay. just needed some air, there’s alot of dancing going on.” he sits close to you, and since he failed to dismiss your other advances, you felt confident enough to cuddle him. he swings his arm over your shoulder, squeezing softly. “i like being here with you pope. it was so boring without you.” he frowns. “well im here now, so let’s make the best of it, yea?” you stand back up, “yes, back to the dance floor?” he smiles standing up; and reaching his hand out to you. dragging you back to the speaker. the two of you dance together, laughing, with huge smiles plastered on your face.

[soleilceirinen]

Renaissance | Cillian Murphy x Reader - Part 2

Summary: you are an Art History student in your last year at university. Cillian is your teacher. Note: in this story Cillian is about 20 years older than the reader. Everything happens in an alternative universe where he is not an actor or famous, he doesn't have a wife or kids like in real life. Also, English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistake! Warning: mentions of blood. Part 1 - Cillian Murphy Masterlist - Part 3

It was an unofficial tradition at your university that every year during the first week of class, the students would go to pubs together in order to get to know people. That way someone in their first year could meet people from other years or other degrees and make new friends easily. Sometimes even the teachers would go. 

Since it was your last year, you didn’t feel like going, you already knew how it was and how it would probably end: with someone throwing up. Your friends had been insisting the whole week leaving you with no option but to accept to go, at least for a while. 

You were late. Your flatmate Brad had been using the shower for what seemed like hours and now your friends were waiting for you at the front door of the pub. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them, Valerie and Olivia. Valerie was studying chemical engineering and sometimes could say hurtful comments in regards to Olivia and your own career choices, both related to the art world. Olivia studied fine arts.

Nevertheless, the three of you hugged each other, almost falling to the ground. 

Once inside the pub, you followed your friends to the bar to order your drinks. Olivia insisted on inviting a round of shots to celebrate. When Valerie asked what you were celebrating she just blushed and giggled. She has met another guy, you thought. 

Each minute the pub was getting more and more crowded, as well as suffocating. You looked around the sea of faces that changed color when the lights shined on them in a futile attempt to recognize someone.

Olivia pushed you to the bar to order another drink while you waited next to her. A thin boy got too close to you making you feel rather uncomfortable, so you glanced at him with an expression that said put that hand closer to me again and you lose it. The guy seemed to understand and gave you and your friend an apologetic gesture. Before turning back to Olivia you thought you saw a pair of blue eyes, but a second later they were gone. 

“Let’s go to the toilet, I need to pee!” screamed Olivia. 

You nodded and pushed her in said direction. After queuing for approximately fifteen minutes it was her turn. You reached for her drink. 

“Give it to me while you go”.

“Nooo, it’s miiine!” She was clearly too drunk, so you tried to take the glass from her hand before she could spill it over someone. In the middle of your little tussle the glass and its contents fell to the ground, causing it to shatter and the sticky liquid to splash all over your legs and shoes. 

“Fuck”.

Before you could react, Olivia was bent down picking up pieces of broken glass. She let out a surprised scream and put her hand in front of your face, showing you a large cut which was bleeding too much for your liking. Let’s say that you didn’t like blood, it made you feel sick. 

“Fuck” you repeated, looking away. 

With shaky hands you grabbed your friend and left the restroom, heading to the last place where you saw Valerie. Leaving the two girls together, you rushed to the bar pushing through the dancing bodies to ask the bartender for some napkins . Yor turned around, trying to locate your friends but it seemed that they had vanished. 

Once, you had read that if you are looking for someone in a very crowded place the key to find them was to remain in the same spot. And so you did, but a few minutes later you thought that you might look quite ridiculous, standing in the middle of the pub like a statue, with a handful of napkins. So you decided to call them but none of them answered their phones. When another person pushed you, you decided that it was time to get some fresh air. 

The back door of the pub was almost as crowded as the inside, with groups of young people smoking. You tried calling again until Valerie answered.

“Where are you?” you asked looking around like a lost child “I can’t find you”.

“ We left. I just dropped Olivia off at her house”. 

You remained silent for a moment. “You could have waited for me, don’t you think?”

“Whatever you say, you disappeared..."

"I was looking for something for Olivia's cut!"

Valerie sighed exaggeratedly at the other end of the call. "Y/n, please, stop being so dramatic. Bye.” And she hung up.

You were looking at your phone as if the device had offended you in a terrible way. “I can’t believe it” you whispered. 

A hand on your shoulder almost made you jump. You turned around ready to fight another unpleasant guy but instead, you found yourself looking into a pair of blue eyes.  

“Are you alright?” asked Mr. Murphy. No. It’s Cillian. Just Cillian, you reminded yourself. 

“I’m grand” you answered through gritted teeth. 

“You don’t look like it, actually, you look rather pale…”

A group of people left the pub laughing loudly. They seemed to be having fun, good for them.

Cillian put a hand on the small of your back to guide you in the direction of a park a few meters away from the back of the pub. You could feel the warmth of his hand though the thin fabric of your blouse, making you nervous. It wasn’t like you weren’t used to being touched by others, but feeling something was new.

He made you sit on a bench and then he sat next to you with the fabric of his jeans brushing against your bare leg. A leg which was algo very sticky thanks to Olivia’s clumsiness, or drunkenness. Thinking of the incident made you recollect the blood and you felt a wave of nausea that you tried to keep under control by taking deep breaths.

“What are those for?” asked Cillian when he realized you wouldn’t say anything. You followed his gaze to the napkins clutched in your fist. 

“Oh, these were for my friend Olivia, she cut her hand with a broken glass and was bleeding pretty badly.”

Cillian seemed concerned. “Is she okay?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I think so.”

He looked at you, raising an eyebrow and made a little gesture for you to continue explaining it. 

“Valerie, another friend of ours, took her home while I was looking for something to stop her bleeding. I just wish they could have waited for me, you know?”

You saw from the corner of your eye that he was nodding in agreement. 

Suddenly, you couldn’t contain the nausea any longer and felt the urge to lean forward in order to empty all the contents of your stomach onto the asphalt. Cillian reached out to hold your hair out of your face. When you were done, you wiped the corners of your mouth with the napkins while he caressed your back in circular motions. 

“Are you feeling better?” he asked quietly, getting a little whimper as an answer.

You got up to throw the dirty napkins into a bin. When you got back to the bench Cillian had just finished talking to someone on the phone. He put the device back into his jean's pocket and got up.

“I’ve called a taxi,” he informed you. Great, you thought sarcastically, what an amazing impression you made on him, now he wants to run away. He frowned a bit. “I can tell the driver to drop you off at your house, if you want to, of course. Don’t feel obligated to accept but since your friends have left, I won't feel comfortable leaving you here alone.”

You tilted your head to the side, thinking. He was being nice to you, out of pity, maybe. After all, you were just in your twenties and he was a grown man in his middle forties. And he was also your teacher. It crossed your mind to refuse but the alternative was to walk for almost half an hour and you weren’t sure you could make it in your current condition. 

“Sure.”

You walked together to the main street to wait for the taxi, which didn’t take long to arrive. Cillian stepped forward to open the door for you and waited until you were settled in to sit next to you. The driver started driving after you told him your address, your house was closer than Cillian’s. 

During the whole drive you avoided looking at him, instead you watched the city through the window but you could feel his stare on you. The taxi stopped in front of your building and you took out your purse to pay but Cillian covered your hand with his to make you stop. 

“Don’t worry about it, y/n.”

“I like to pay for my stuff” you muttered.

“And it was my idea to call a taxi. Also you live on the way to my house, so no problem. Have a good night, y/n.” He said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. You started to blush, at least it was dark and he couldn’t see you. 

“Thank you, Cillian. Have a good night too, see you at the university.” You said, grabbing the door handle. 

Almost without realizing it, you craned your neck and kissed him on the cheek. He smelled so good. After that, you got out of the car and walked quickly to your building door, there you saw the taxi drive away while you were trying to open the door. 

Once inside your flat, you registered what you had just done.

[fanficshiddles]

Dirty Little Secret, Part 1/2

Summary: Tina is super excited to go see her favourite band at last. But Loki has something more than just seeing and meeting them in store for her.

Note/Warnings: Daddy Dom!Loki, Dom!Chris Motionless, sub!OFC, threesome.

-

‘Lokiiiiiiiiii…’

Loki smirked and put his book down, he turned his head towards the door to see his girl, Tina, coming sheepishly into the room.

‘Yes, Tinaaaaaaa.’ He responded.

‘You know you love me, right?’ She fluttered her eyelashes at him as she crawled onto his lap and straddled over him.

He slipped his hands around her back to hold her in place. ‘Why do I get the feeling you’re after something?’

‘You know my most favourite band ever?’

‘Mmmhmm… Motionless, right?’ Loki narrowed his eyes at her.

‘Yeah… Well, they’re coming to the UK on tour soon. And I’ve loved them for over ten years, but am yet to see them live.’ Tina started curling a bit of Loki’s hair around her finger.

‘Of course we will go see them.’ Loki smiled.

Tina let out a big squeal. ‘Thank you thank you!’

‘When is it?’ Loki asked.

‘Next month, the twenty second.’ She grinned.

Loki frowned. ‘Ohh… that could be a problem.’

Tina’s face dropped. ‘What? Why?’

‘You see, I already got us tickets to a show… on that same night.’ Loki said with regret in his voice as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and brought up an email to show her.

Tina felt like her heart was breaking, such a sudden high at the thought of seeing them to then be brought down so quickly… But as she tried to hold back tears of disappointment, she looked at the email and squinted her eyes. Her heart started racing again and the excitement returned.

‘YOUALREADYGOTTICKETSOHMYGODWHAT!’ She screeched.

Loki threw his head back with laughter. ‘I know you too well, pet. As soon as they went on sale this morning, I got them.’

‘Thank you so much! I can’t believe it!’ Tina couldn’t stop smiling as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

Loki rubbed her back under her top and nuzzled into her hair. ‘I know how much you’ve wanted to see them, and how unlucky you’ve been to miss them each time they come here. No way I would let you miss out this time, love.’

Tina squeezed him extra tight, then leaned back and narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Can’t believe you made me think I was going to miss them again.’ She nudged at his chest.

‘Mischief is my middle name.’ Loki winked at her.

-

Time flew in and before she knew it, Tina was on her way to the concert to finally see her favourite band. She had been buzzing with excitement pretty much from the day Loki had gotten them tickets, but now in the taxi she could barely keep still.

Loki reached over and put his hand on her knee, giving her a squeeze. ‘They better be good, or your ass is on the line.’ He rumbled low to her, making her giggle.

‘Don’t worry, they are. I know you like them too, I’ve caught you humming along to them plenty.’ Tina said as she put her hand on top of his.

Loki couldn’t deny that, as he had heard her play them enough over the last few years of them being together. He knew quite a lot of their songs by heart now, even had some on his Spotify. Though he’d never admit it to her, since in the first place he had been adamant about not liking that sort of music.

‘Are we going to be queuing to get a good spot, or going for food, since we’re arriving few hours before doors?’ She asked him when they were a few minutes away.

‘Neither.’ Loki said, looking out the window.

Tina raised an eyebrow. ‘What are we doing then?’

He turned to face her with a big grin on his face. ‘Well, I might have connections... So I mayyyy have managed to get us backstage passes to get to meet the band before the show.’

Loki hadn’t been sure what to expect when he told her, but the look of utter horror on her face wasn’t quite the reaction he had been expecting.

‘Wh… what? You’re kidding… right?’ She stuttered, sounding rather scared.

‘I assure you, pet. While I am the God of lies, I am not lying this time.’ He smirked.

Tina’s eyes were wide and Loki just couldn’t get a good read of how she was feeling about it. Apart from clearly being scared at the thought.

‘Tina, is there something you’re not telling me? I thought you’d be delighted, but your face certainly doesn’t seem to be.’ He said as he gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

‘I… I am… But I…’ She couldn’t get her words out properly. ‘I’m going… I’m going to meet Chris Motionless?’

Loki nodded. But he noticed her face flushed red too.

‘Wait… Do you have a crush on him?’ He raised his eyebrow at her.

‘What? No… don’t be ridiculous.’ She laughed nervously.

Loki smirked. He knew she did, and he had known for years. He remembered when they first met, she had said as much when they were talking about celebrity crushes. But she clearly had forgotten she’d already told him so.

‘You’re lying, pet. If you carry on lying to me, you know you’re going to end up with a red bottom.’ He growled low, narrowing his eyes at her.

She blushed even harder and squirmed a bit at the thought. He had a mean swing when he wanted to dish out punishments.

He moved closer to her and gripped her chin, making her look at him. ‘No lying to Daddy, little one.’ He rumbled, making her legs turn to jelly with that tone.

‘Don’t.’ She whined, but they both knew she had already lost. When he used that tone and went into Daddy Dom mode, she was always putty in his hands.

‘I’m waiting for the truth.’ He said firmly.

‘Ok… I do. But it’s just for his voice.’ She laughed nervously.

‘Uh huh, sure it is.’ Loki chuckled. ‘Is it ‘cause he looks like me?’

‘Just because of the long black hair you think that makes you look like him?’ It was her turn to raise an eyebrow at him as he sat back and chuckled.

‘We are more alike than you think.’ He winked at her.

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

‘Ah, here we are.’ He said as the car stopped just down the road from the venue. He hopped out and put his hand out for her.

She rolled her eyes and took it, knowing she wasn’t going to get an answer from him. He was in one of those playful and teasing moods, which she wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not considering where they were about to go.

The stark realisation of who she was about to meet hit her like a ton of bricks as they entered the venue with no problem once Loki gave his name at the door to security. He felt her grip on his hand tighten with every step they took, more so when they could hear them sound checking.

Tina’s face lit up completely when they stepped into the stage room and the band was on stage warming up. Chris’ voice bellowed throughout the place. She was in awe.

When the band finished, Chris spotted them and waved them over. But Tina didn’t budge.

‘Are you coming closer or are you just going to stand here like a deer in the headlights?’ Loki asked.

She said nothing, just glanced at Loki with wide eyes. He smirked and put his hand at her lower back to guide her forward.

It reminded him of when he first met her, she had been rather speechless and very shy then too. She barely said a word to him for weeks, until he asked her out on a date and she had no option but to speak to him.

Chris hopped down from stage with a warm smile as they approached. Or more, as Loki approached pushing poor Tina along next to him.

‘Hey, you must be Tina?’ Chris put his hand out towards her.

Tina stared at his hand for a moment as if it was going to bite her before she took it with a shaky hand and managed to squeak out a hi.

Chris brought her hand up so he could kiss the back of it, making her blush furiously. But even more so with what he said. ‘Loki, you never told me how pretty your girl is!’

‘The prettiest of them all.’ Loki gloated proudly.

Tina glanced at Loki briefly, shocked and wanting to know what that meant. Had he met him before? He knew their names and he was speaking as if they had. But she was so starstruck she was struggling to even think straight.

‘I hear you’ve been a fan for quite a while?’ Chris smiled warmly at her.

‘I… yeah… sorry… I didn’t know I was getting to meet you until last minute.’ She rambled out quietly.

‘That’s alright.’ Chris chuckled. ‘Would you like a photo?’

‘Please!’ Tina said excitedly.

Her hands were shaking as she pulled out her phone to hand to Loki. As she moved closer to Chris, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her in close to him. Which surprised her, and she was also surprised that Loki wasn’t glaring daggers at him. He was usually rather possessive over her.

‘Thank you!’ She squeaked out once Loki took the picture.

‘You’re very welcome. Do you want to come meet the others? They’re not as good looking as me, but they’re alright.’ Chris teased as he motioned to backstage.

Tina nodded eagerly. Loki put his arm around her waist and they followed Chris through the back. She was so exited to meet everyone, and got pictures with them all, including a group picture. One with Loki and one without. She was shy around them all, but especially around Chris. So she was kind of relieved when they had to leave to go find a good spot for the show now doors had opened.

‘What was all that about? It’s like they know you already?’ She asked Loki once he got them drinks and they got a good standing spot at the side near the front.

Loki chuckled and draped his arm around her shoulder. ‘Did you really think I’d let you hang out with a bunch of guys that I didn’t know? Of course I was going to check them out first.’ He winked at her.

Tina just gaped at him for a moment before she got her thoughts together.

‘Wha… What? When did you meet them? And that was hardly hanging out.’ Tina laughed a little.

‘Last night for a few drinks. You really think that’s it over? Oh no, after the show we’re going for a drink with Chris.’ Loki grinned.

Tina’s eyes widened as she looked up at him and her mouth opened.

‘Close your mouth, pet. You’ll catch flies.’ Loki smirked and pushed her chin up.

The show began and they enjoyed the support bands then of course Motionless In White themselves. Tina was ecstatic to finally be seeing them, she sang and screamed along to every word. She’d completely forgotten about Loki’s plan of meeting Chris afterwards, until Loki took her hand and they headed round the back of the venue instead of getting a taxi at the end.

‘Are we seriously going for a drink with Chris?’ Tina asked nervously.

‘Yep… do you not want to?’ Loki asked as he stopped walking for a moment.

‘I… I do. I just, wasn’t expecting it.’ She shrugged.

Loki smiled and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. ‘You’re so adorable when you’re shy. I remember when we first met, how shy you were with me.’

She blushed and looked down.

‘Just like that.’ He chuckled and gripped her chin, tilting her face upwards so he could kiss her softly on the lips.

-

They ended up in one of the local pubs with Chris, Tina hadn’t really said much, she was still in a bit of disbelief. And being at a cosy booth table with both him and Loki was making her felt a bit antsy… in the good kind of way. She was quite happy just hearing them talk and watching them.

‘It was a great show.’ Loki commented as they were speaking about said show.

‘Thanks, it’s always good fun in this city.’ Chris smiled. ‘Any song we missed out that you’d have liked to hear?’ He asked Tina.

‘Oh, uhmm… I love all your songs, no bad ones.’ Tina shrugged.

Loki elbowed her slightly. ‘They didn’t play your favourite though.’

Tina’s eyes widened a bit and she shot Loki a glare, or an attempted glare anyway.

‘Oh, what’s your favourite?’ Chris asked.

Tina felt like her entire face was on fire. She could kill Loki for saying that, and the smug look on his face as he took a sip of his drink let her know that he knew exactly what he was doing.

‘Wasp…’ Tina said quietly as she tried to hide behind her drink.

Chris grinned. ‘No need to be embarrassed about that song choice. It’s a good one, if I may say so myself.’

‘Indeed. Made love to it quite often, haven’t we, pet?’ Loki said casually.

Tina’s eyes almost exploded as she looked at Loki. ‘Loki!’ She whined.

‘Though it is hatefuck and rats that really gets you going, more so when you’re in a bratty mood.’ He commented.

‘Oh my god.’ Tina put her hands over her face and sank further down in her seat to try and hide.

‘Pfft, surely not. I can’t imagine you being bratty.’ Chris said, making her try to hide even more as she leaned into Loki and hid her face against his arm.

The guys both chuckled at her reaction as she just groaned.

‘Aww, baby girl. Am I embarrassing you?’ Loki cooed and put his arm around her.

‘You know you are.’ She murmured against him.

‘That’s what Daddy’s do best.’ Chris said.

Tina froze at hearing him say that. Loki felt her whole body go slightly rigid. He looked at Chris with a smirk.

‘This is so not fair, you’re ganging up on me now!’ Tina said as she sat up straight and glanced at them both, her cheeks bright red. Loki thought she might actually explode at any moment.

‘You think this is us ganging up on you?’ Loki raised an eyebrow. ‘We can do that properly, if that’s what you desire.’ He took a last big swig of his drink.

‘Wh… what do you mean?’ She asked, glancing at Chris who bit his lip and winked at her. She looked back at Loki, who had that mischievous look in his eyes.

‘Well, Chris and I had a little chat last night. He’s single right now, and I know he’d be more than able to handle you for a night.’ Loki said suggestively.

Tina was so shocked at what he was implying, she never thought in a million years that Loki would actually be willing to share her with another man. Even for one night.

‘If you want to, of course.’ Chris interjected with.

‘Of course.’ Loki nodded. ‘But I get the feeling you’ve already been thinking about that situation, having both of us in bed with you. If I put my hand inside your knickers right now, I know I’ll find you aroused.’ Loki purred.

Tina squirmed on the spot, he wasn’t wrong. But she wasn’t sure how she would cope with both of them, their teasing was already bad enough. She wouldn’t survive it for sure.

Loki stood and so did Chris. They looked at her, waiting for an answer. Chris put his hand out towards her.

‘I’ll play gentle… at first anyway.’ He grinned.

Tina’s heart was racing as she looked at Loki. He smiled softly and nodded once, giving his ok. It wasn’t a prank, this was real and he was giving her permission.

She took Chris’ hand and he helped her up to her feet. His grip was strong, not much different from Loki’s, really. She was glad he’d taken her hand, as her legs felt like utter jelly and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to walk otherwise.

‘There’s a hotel down the road, we’ll go there.’ Loki suggested as they left the pub. He fell into step at the other side of Tina and took her hand too.

She took a moment to look at Loki and then at Chris, in utter disbelief about what was happening with them both. She did think they looked pretty similar actually, with the long black hair, tall, strong… Though of course Chris with his piercings and tattoos was a big difference. And Loki being a God.

Loki could tell she was excited yet nervous at the same time, he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand to soothe her and made her skin tingle.

They entered the hotel and Loki went over to reception to organise a room. Chris and Tina waited by the lift. He turned to face her and cupped her cheek, gently brushing his thumb over her skin.

‘Are you going to be a good girl tonight?’

Her knees almost gave out on her as she nodded quickly.

Loki returned swiftly with a keycard, they motioned for her to go first into the lift. Both gentlemen. They were on the third floor, and on the lift up Tina got more excited and aroused with every second that passed. With their teasing, it certainly didn’t help.

‘I must say, I am really looking forward to this.’ Chris said as he slid his hand up her back to the back of her neck, giving her a little squeeze and then stroking her skin. Making her tremble.

‘So you should be, Tina is an absolute delight to play with.’ Loki grinned and stroked her hair.

She closed her eyes and just completely melted under both their touch.

‘Oh I bet she is.’ Chris rumbled.

‘I was about to say if she gets nervous or a bit bratty, the back of her neck is her sweet spot but I see you’ve already found it.’ Loki chuckled.

Tina heard what they were saying but she was already deep in subspace she couldn’t respond.

‘Aww, I think she’s going to be a good girl tonight.’ Chris hummed, still stroking the back of her neck.

‘Mmmhmm.’ Tina nodded slightly, blissed out. Making the guys chuckle.

Chris kept his hand at the back of her neck as they reached their floor. Loki took her hand and guided them to their room. Loki pushed the door opened then stood to the side, motioning for them to go first.

‘Let the fun begin.’ He growled.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Tell Me Words of Love

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support Cybird by buying their stories. Expect grammatical errors. Not 100% accurate.

One afternoon一

The maid called me to Kicho's room.

Kicho: "It looks like I'll be busy for a while starting tomorrow."

Mai: "I see."

(He must be really busy if he's calling me up like this to tell me.)

I came to this conclusion when I saw a pile of letters on his desk.

Mai: "Let me know if there’s anything I can help you with."

Kicho: "Yeah, thanks."

(I'll probably be spending less time with Kicho for a while.)

(I'll have to make sure I don't get in his way.)

I couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness at the thought of it, and I involuntarily looked down.

Kicho: "I'll be busy, but I have no intention of making you feel lonely."

Mai: "Huh?"

He gazed into my face and stared into my eyes.

Kicho: "Five seconds."

Mai: "Five seconds?"

He gently narrowed his eyes as if he could see right through me, then got up from his chair and came over to my side.

Kicho: "One, two, three."

(Being stared at like this is making me nervous.)

Mai: "U-Um?"

Kicho: "Four, five."

After counting down, he gently caressed my blushing cheek.

Kicho: "I will surely notice your gaze if you stare at me like this for five seconds."

Kicho: "All you have to do is give me a look."

Mai: "Ah..."

He held me by the waist, his scent enveloping me, and I felt a tingle deep in my chest.

Kicho: "I'll stop working and make time for you."

Mai: "That makes me happy, but won't it interfere with your work?"

(I don't want to be a burden to him.)

Kicho: "It won't be a problem since it'll serve as a break for me too."

Kicho: "On the contrary, I'd prefer it more if you use this cue without hesitation to give both of us a chance to take a break."

He gently stroked my head, and I squinted at the comfort of his touch.

Mai: "If it works for you, then I'm happy to do it."

We smiled at each other and exchanged light kisses.

A few hours later一

I found Kicho talking with his subordinates at the end of the hallway.

(He really is busy.)

His subordinates were queuing up and waiting for him to respond.

I stared at him, and he suddenly looked back.

Kicho: "Let's take a short break. I'll be back in fifteen minutes. Let me hear the rest of you later."

Subordinate: "Yes, sir! Please take your time."

His subordinates dispersed all at once, and he walked towards me.

Mai: "Kicho..."

Kicho: "Let's have a cup of tea."

Mai: "Oh!"

He gently smiled at me, and that's when I finally remembered the signal.

Mai: "That wasn't a signal, and I wasn't trying to get your attention. I was just staring at you. Sorry."

(I probably interrupted his work too soon.)

Kicho: "Even if you forgot, the arrangement was absolute. And you came in at the right time. Let's go."

Mai: "Thank you."

(I should be careful not to stare at him unconsciously.)

I followed his invitation to tea, and we took a short break together.

That night一

Mai: "Kicho, excuse me."

Kicho: "Yeah?"

Mai: "I heard from the maid that you haven't had dinner yet."

I prepared something easy to eat and visited Kicho's room.

Kicho: "Yeah, thanks. It looks delicious."

(He must be tired. He can eat more slowly when he's alone.)

I handed him the tray and tried to leave the room right away, but一

Kicho: "You hadn't given any signals at all."

Startled by his words, I turned around to face him.

Mai: "Sorry, I just thought you looked busy."

(Doing that to make him pay attention to me was really embarrassing.)

Kicho: "All the more reason to give me a break. You don't need to hold back."

(He's right. I probably shouldn't have held back for his sake.)

Kicho: "No one's watching you now."

(Does he mean I can send him a signal now?)

He urged me to look at him teasingly, and my heart beat wildly.

(One, two, three. It's still embarrassing.)

I looked away unconsciously.

Kicho: "If you keep getting shy and avoiding it, our agreement won't be fulfilled."

Mai: "Ah..."

He held my cheeks, forcing our gazes to entwine, and I noticed the intensity in his eyes.

Kicho: "One, two, three, four, five."

I felt embarrassed when he counted a little earlier than expected.

Mai: "That's not fair."

Kicho: "That's because you're always holding back."

The happy expression on his face made my heart clench.

Mai: "Kicho..."

This time, I didn't look away from him.

Kicho: "I can see in your eyes what you want me to do."

Inching his handsome face closer, he kissed me sweetly, and I put my hands around his back as I responded to him.

☆ Ikesen Story Events

[theflyingfeeling]

so yeah, I went to the BC signing session at Nokia Arena today, because what else would I, a full-grown adult with a respectable dayjob, do on a wintery Saturday if not stand in a queue freezing my toes off surrounded by sugar-high teenagers for hours, just to exchange a few words with some band dudes? 🤡

(wrote this for me as to remember at least something about it afterwards, but you may read this as well <3)

The queuing part was every bit as shitty as it always is when queuing to any BC event really, but I was in high spirits and great company who were polite enough to laugh at my shitty amazing jokes 🥰

Niko was so soft and nice and aaaaaaaaaa the way he laughed so heart-warmingly at the silly (practiced) thing I said?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I want to put him in my pocket <3

So when I was a kid I used to collect stickers (this is relevant, trust me), especially dog stickers because dogs are cute, and I happen to have a full page of dachshund stickers that look exactly like Rilla, so I thought I'd give Aleksi a couple of those, and the other day I jokingly checked my local supermarket's sticker selection to see if they have any more fun stickers I could give him, and lo and behold I actually found some cool Spider-Man ones, and naturally I JUST couldn’t help myself 😂 and awwwwwww the way his entire face brightened up and he went "NO WAY!! 🤩" when he saw the dachshund ones aaaaaaa 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭 he said he'll put them on his laptop where he has also collected other stickers 🥺💞 I gave them in a Minigrip bag so that he hopefully won't lose them before he gets home (see the picture below for the stickers)

Aleksi’s hair looked super fluffy btw 🤲 you're welcome for this crucial information

The last time I saw Olli at a signing session I was so blown away by his beauty that I could barely speak a word to him, so this time I was determined to actually have some sort of a conversation with him, and I did succeed, even if we only talked about the weather (my go-to conversation topic) 😂 it's difficult to translate the Finnish word tarjeta, but basically I asked him how's the weather been in Oulu, and he said it's been cold ("Mites Oulussa on tarettu?" "Kylmä on."), but apparently he actually likes cold weather, my reply being "well I don't you fucking weirdo &lt;3"

Joonas heard this intellectual exhange of opinions and put in his two cents as he told me how they had recently visited Oulu and that it had been significantly colder than in Helsinki 👍

Also, as you may have seen from pictures by now, he was wearing no shirt under his blazer and yeah, I may have taken a good look at his rug while he was signing my totebag 👁️👄👁️ In my defence, he had it out for everyone to see, so where else was I supposed to look? His eyes? 🙄

At that signing session I went to in Stockholm last year (see the link above) I didn't manage to say a damn thing to Tommi lol (I blame Joel and Olli), so that was my other goal for this time and yaaaay, success! I didn't say much to him though, just "hi" and "ah darn, is that bloody marker not working? and here I thought I had bought a good one" ("Olin ostavinani hyvän tussin")

For context: I had brought my BC totebag (which I bought exactly 2 years ago tomorrow and have used maybe twice during all this time) with me for them to sign, and as I wasn't sure if they'd have fabric markers, I had gone and bought one for the purpose myself, and I had tested it (on paper) at home, but I guess the cold weather had affected the ink, so it was working quite poorly. They all did manage to scribble down their autographs though, and the extra time it took for them to do so offered me some extra time to chat with them, which was nice actually 🤭 (hehe sneaky meeee)

To Joel I said the new song is great ("Helevetin hyvä se uus biisi"), which he was pleased to hear. He gave me back my totebag but not my marker, so I had to ask for it lol, to which he said his brain was not working properly anymore (felt 💀), to which I said that at least he hasn't been standing in the freezing cold for hours, to which he said: "yeah, you're the actual heroes here" and hell yeah we are lol, I wouldn't do this shit for any other band 😌

Then he tried to give me the autograph card of the next person in line dfdggdgdgddd poor Joel, I guess his brain really wasn't working

Afterwards my mouth was SO dry from talking so much in such a short time lol, but I was happy I got to say most of the stuff I had wanted to say to them. I was planning to show Aleksi a picture of our family dachshunds like I had done in Stockholm, but with all the hassle with the marker I kinda forgot about it (I kept grumbling about the shitty marker to literally all of them except Joel), and anyway I didn't want to slow down the queue any more than I already was 🙈

After the signing session we had pizza and went to the local Christmas market that just opened today and I bought some organic coffee beans for my brother for Christmas, so all in all I had a lovely day (ignoring the cold-as-balls weather) 🥰💞

here are the stickers I gave to Aleksi:

and here's my freshly-signed totebag (why is Olli's autograph so cute 🥺)

(I know it looks like there are some strange stains on the tote but there really isn't, as I said I've barely ever used it, so I guess it's just the fabric doing a weird thing in that lighting)

[alarrytale]

I just found your account and read pretty far back in your posts. I can’t tell you how spot on you are and that I agree 100% with your opinion. Especially with the facts you’ve shared about Louis improving his shows. I have all the same thoughts and have expressed them on X and in my gc, but of course I’m overrun with how ‘toxic’ I am. I’ve been to a few of Louis’ shows and watch the lives and it’s getting worse instead of better- he really is losing all charisma he ever had with the lad act (drinking, not knowing lyrics, unable to sing and relying on his band for that, etc). What particularly drives me mad is the way the audience is sending him so much energy during the songs and he responds by rubbing his hands and walking slowly back and forth across the stage. You can see the crowds energy instantly deflate. I hope he/mgt takes your ideas into consideration. I really want so much more for him!

And lastly, Harry is my favorite of all time- but I agree with you when you said he’s a coward. I hate that though.

Hi, anon!

Welcome to my blog! It's hard to criticise H and L in this fandom without being branded toxic, a hater, a complainer or being entitled. There is so much blind idolatry and fan policing happening to make people conform and behave like sheep. That does not make for a happy and thriving fandom.

To make a successful artist you need two things. An artist who respects, appriciates and caters to their fandom, and a fandom who supports the artist. You need both to make a successful artist. Some people in this fandom believe that the artist should be supported regardless. Even if the artist doesn’t respect their fandom, doesn’t appreciate it, and only cater to their own needs while disregarding the fandom's. If the artist keep doing that, they'll lose fans. Fans have plenty of artists to spend time and money on. Artists need to fight for attention from fans and the general public. The artists who don't manage to hold fans attention, feed them, appreciate them and engage them will struggle to have their songs chart, have their tickets sell, get gigs like festivals and get invited to events.

We as fans are entitled to the bare minimum of respect. Louis isn't and hasn't been very respectful to his fandom majority, the larries. He's downright been disrespectful. We as fans don’t need to tolerate being ridiculed, called delusional or mocked. It's also not respectful to be late to go on stage, not knowing the order of the songs or your own lyrics. It's disrespectful to cancel a whole leg of your with a half assed apology and no real explanation. This should all be bare minimum. People have travelled hours to be there, queued for hours to get barricade and spend a months wage to pay for the tickets, travel and accomodation. Respect their time and money spent.

Fans need to feel appreciated and wanted. Larries don't always feel wanted. We also sometimes don't feel catered to when we get things we didn’t ask for, like a propaganda piece of a documentary, stunting or him taking the fan popular songs off the playlist, while giving us a random song cover. Fans are allowed to say, that's not right, that's not cool and feel disappointed.

Neither H nor L are perfect. They do have good and bad sides. Things they're good at and things they're not good at. They fuck up too sometimes. It's important to try to compensate for your shortcomings and mend your mistakes. If you can’t give your fans what they deserve or ask for, then give them something else that will draw the attention away from it. If you've fucked up, do better next time.

Louis is closeted and he needs to uphold a fake image. He's treating larries like shit, he's stunting, lying and gaslighting. When you can’t deliver on respect and appreciation for your fans, it even more important that he compensates by catering to us. His biggest hindrance to deliver on that is his self-confidence. It's stopping him from letting his guard down and being his charming and funny self. He can't afford to also not deliver on catering to fans, because he can't compensate on respect and appreciation. So he needs to give us exactly what we ask for and what the majority wants. Even if that entails wearing chinos and suspenders for a show. Suck it up.

We tolerate at lot that fans shouldn't need to tolerate for the sake of H and L's closet and relationship. If being a fan and dealing with stunts, fandom wars, being called a conspiracy theorist and your idol hanging out with horrible people is going to be worth it, then they both need to put on one hell of a show and give us albums of bangers after bangers. Or else it won't be worth it. The deal is off.

[front-facing-pokemon]

sandaconda SNIFFFF

this is true

sorry about the radio silence apart from the queued posts for the past few days, folks. i'm gonna drop all these asks and then give you a bit of an explanation, as well as a possible read on the future of the blog, down at the bottom of this post, if you care to read it

everyone loves appletun..! i used one to beat the champion in my first ever run of swsh because i thought it was so cute. and grass/dragon is a fun typing..! just one more way to be 4x weak to ice my belovèd

i don't even remember what this is in reference to unfortunately. this is the way to get to the grass gym from motostoke, i think..! though you have to go through a route to get to the mines

y'know, i'm not sure! perhaps if i knew what it was based on, i could tell you better

let them have it :/ they deserve it

okay. hi. you've reached the bottom. i have a confession! i have not been able to update the queue in like. a week

my commitment to uploading every pokémon in natdex order already fell off a little bit when the galar pokédex was out of order compared to the national pokédex and i was choosing to include regional forms in "natdex order" by using their placement in regional dexes. now that i've reached all the regional evolutions in the natdex, i've found that my previous methods for getting models and getting them to work are not necessarily panning out. this is, of course, for one specific pokémon: galarian farfetch'd. i believe this applies to the rest of the galarian forms that i have yet to upload, as well, as i can't seem to find models (that i know how to work with) anywhere on the internet. if you want to see the most recent state i was able to get galarian farfetch'd into, then here:

it's fucked up. you may have noticed that i also didn't post galarian corsola before cursola. that's partially because i forgot it existed, and partially because i didn't have its model so i didn't know it existed because of that

i don't really know what to do here. i haven't queued up a single pokémon in about a week, and even then, the pokémon at the end of the queue you'll notice are getting progressively more and more fucked up textures-wise just because of how difficult they're getting when i can't find the proper models and i have to throw something toegether in like an hour. which! this blog never used to take me an hour! it used to be a few minutes out of my morning, at most. now mornings are taking me upwards of two hours just to get these motherfuckers working—and now i've reached a point where i can't get them working at all

from my perspective, i have two options, neither of which i want to do. option one is to just post the pokémon that i have and can get working, skipping ones that i don't have or can't get working. option two is to just go on indefinite hiatus until i can get a hold of the models and get them working. i like neither of these options!

i suppose there's a secret third option, which is that i start using in-game screenshots like i almost did for phantump that one time, but those aren't the easiest to procure when i can't perfectly manipulate the model and the camera to get the angles that have become the style of this blog

i don't want to quit when i'm this close to the end (and especially when there's so many of you waiting for your favorite pokémon), but taking two hours out of my morning to get one pokémon working is becoming a chore i relent doing, and i've become unable to do it at all now that i can't get the models to render correctly

i don't have a solution to put at the bottom of the post here! i don't have a way to say "so because of this, i'll now be doing blahblahblah" because i don't have a blahblahblah that i can do. i don't know what the best course of action is, because i have never really encountered this kind of problem on the blog before. the hiatus i took back in 2020 was for completely unrelated reasons, and like 99.9% of you weren't even here for that. and sure, only like 20 folks read these asks, let alone down this far into them, but for those of you that don't, you'll just be missing out and confused. for those of you that do, i thank you for sticking around this long. this is not goodbye, and i don't even want it to be a temporary goodbye—but it is me saying that there are 18 pokémon left in the queue and i don't know how to add any more

the best solution is probably just to post the pokémon that i can and hope the models i can't get aren't anyone's favorites. how do we all feel about that? i could always try in-game screenshots, but that'd be such a big change in styling and visuals that i dunno if i wanna go through with it. i'm at an impasse here, and i've been avoiding even talking about it because technically most of the followers of this blog couldn't care less if there was a real individual behind it—they're just here for the silly pokémon images. but, y'know, hi! here i am, i'm a real individual running this blog, and it's not that easy anymore!

[sunlightfeeling]

“The Merchant of Venice” Play Experience

2024.12.09 @ Seinenkan Hall in Shinjuku

Slept but I still have the play fresh in my head \o/

oh hiya random actor that photobombed my picture 👋

anyway~ this was my actual view of the play lol

btw i read through the play beforehand so nothing that happened to Pon’s character or how he performed actually shocked me too much..

..except for the things that did

..to which ill mark those with an asterisk (*)..to separate the exaggerated reactions with my actual genuine ones 🥲

and for this write-up, I think I can actually manage to be chronological so with that letsagoooo

oh! also!! spoilers (and obtuse/vague references) for the play

play was more or less 2 and a half hours; started at 17:00 and went till..from what i can recall..19:30

queued up really early which was actually a really fantastic idea because im pretty sure the play was a full house or practically full

When I finally looked outside when I was in line, there was queue circling the hall along the street 🫣

—

my seat was on the second floor of the hall..which is actually the third floor of the building..very confusing, great architectural planning 👍

the way through was a bit wonky; went up the stairs only to be led all the way to the end of the hall..to head down another set of stairs

for the merch

i got sucked in and bought a bag, photobook, and sweater 🥴

—

throughout the play, all of the characters sat on the bench that’s all the way to the back of the stage

so there was always a view of Tsuyoshi ☺️

he had his head down pretty much the whole time he was sitting -while everyone else’s was held up-

except for right after intermission, and even then it was only up for a single scene or smth

(btw this is simply just an observation - 100% no judgment or contempt in my tone here)

Pon’s part begins in Act 1, Scene 3 and he was simply electric out the gate

(but actually ALL of the actors were; Nerissa and especially Gratiano were my highlights)

the first thing I noticed was how scratchy his voice was which may have been a stylistic/dialect choice but by the end of the play I was more on the side of thinking its absolutely because this man actually fucking SCREECHES twice..three times throughout (there was an earlier showing of the play just a few hours before this one)

also one of his first monologues is his character baiting/making fun of the other characters coming to him for help when he is supposed to be like a dog to them; and then even acting like one a bit

but i didn’t know the extent that he would need go to acting like one lol

like I thought maybe he would just put on a silly voice and make some good faces (which he DOES do)

but

like

he went actual full on hands and knees on set*

cool 👍

he does a few excellent caustic laughs throughout the play, so having the first one be pretty close to him acting like a dog was certainly a production decision, maybe a good one but judge is still out on that one

—

act 2 doesn’t have Tsuyoshi’s character too much soooo

skipping to act 3!

we get Tsuyoshi in a heated (and justified) monologue and then straight after we’re fed dessert with some old man yaoi where the guy that I believe plays Shylock’s compatriot slash confidant slash moneylender asunaro hugs Shylock while he’s on the fucking floor*

and also giving him mixed positive and depressed emotions (telling him that his daughter’s long gone and spending all his money, but also that the dude that Shylock lent money to is now bankrupt so he has the opportunity to destroy the guy he lent to [who he really really doesn’t like])

btw for those that dont know..

..this is an asunaro hug:

thanks tak

I loved seeing Tsuyoshi throughout this moment because he does such a good job flailing and exaggerating his expression change; like one second he’s devastated because of his money daughter but then the next he’s screaming with joy

a little bit further into this act, we get another exquisite heated Tsuyoshi monologue

—

skipping to act four

this is Tsuyoshi’s final act (there’s only one more act afterwards and its just one scene)

a lot of this act is Tsuyoshi being really fucking pissed because he has blood-lust for this dude that he hates so much or smth

this is also the act where he screeches*

twice*

go figure

shenanigans ensue including Tsuyoshi sharpening a dagger on his boot and then pulling it on the dude that owes him his bond

he gets stopped for boring law reasons and oop Tsuyoshi’s character is actually gonna get literally axed after the play because now he’s the one in trouble 🥺👉👈

to really illustrate how defeated Shylock is, Tsuyoshi takes on a surprise role in Arrested Development and does the Charlie Brown sad walk*

(I cannot emphasize how much I am NOT exaggerating here.. head was bowed..feet were being shuffled.. …..the music was even playing in my head istg)

HE TOOK TWO-THREE MINUTES AT LEAST TO WALK FROM THE BOTTOM LEFT OF THE STAGE ALL THE WAY TO THE VERY BACK UPPER RIGHT I AM NOT JOKING

and to illustrate EVEN MORE

tsuyoshi takes on an even more crumpled pose than he had been doing throughout the play, so that whenever you would look to the top right over at him, his head was practically between his knees

—

the play ends with tsuyoshi standing up, walking to the front of the stage

and without saying a single word, he just stands there as the lights dim out

the lights were off for only like 15? seconds but it felt so long…so eerie….

and then the lights come back on and he’s still standing in the same place but then he welcomes everyone else on stage to stand and come to the front to take a bow

applause, applause, applause

stage exits and then comes back to take another big bow

this time we’re giving them even louder applause plus a standing ovation; also when Tsuyoshi lifts his head back up, he’s smiling super wide plus looking and waving at the second floor here 🥰🫠

stage exits again and now its just tsuyoshi that comes out

more smiling, more waving 🥰🥰

and that was the play…compressed form……lol