#just fucking do better

[unusualunus]

I started to watch the new ghost files episode and couldn't bring myself continue. Sarah Winchester was a real (and not crazy) woman. Continuing to spread misinformation about her is gross and I wish watcher (and disney for fucks sake) would do better. I hope that if ghosts are real she is at peace in her home and unbothered by all the people who are uncaring of what is true vs fiction.

If you're interested in learning more about the real history of Sarah and her home this is the video that got me interested in it (which includes sources in the description so you can continue learning yourself):

[skeleton-butch]

You know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It's kinda fucked up that when you air past grievances about femmes and why you feel unsafe around them you get so many people coming in saying "not all femmes" and "they're not real femmes" when butches have to take so much accountability for the shitty actions of other butches. It's such a double standard that we as a community can never make mistakes because we present masculinely whereas they are allowed to "not all men" us when one of their own behaves badly.

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

[bigfatbreak]

they both got bonked for being silly.

[clownowo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[stellarspecter]

@pscentral event 20: antagonists ↳ THE LORDS IN BLACK in NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE

[graye]

Rumors say this is what tipped Anakin to the Dark side.

[dapper-lil-arts]

The entire premise of Alicorns being on another untouchable level dissapears when you account for Cadence's basic-ass taste in men

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

biting is a love language biting is a love language Biting Is A Love Language-

[bedforddanes75]

im not american but some of you guys are just fucking stupid ong what do you MEAN youre not gna vote because you disagree with like one part of what youre voting for. like okay me when im fucking thick

[angee1011]

OKAY BUT LIKE SALLY AND POSEIDON’S CONVO OMG

“Do you want to talk to him?”

Long pause. THUNDER rolls in the distance.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kelin-is-writing]

The butterflies in my stomach going CRRRAZZY over him…

[ohitslen]

Average university experience

[qcomicsy]

Dick "I was a terrible older brother and I need to make up for it" Grayson and Jason "for the love of god leave me the fuck alone" Todd.