#just for it all to come crashing down
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Every time I see Lucien (Mr. Love: Queen's Choice), I get sad that I dropped that game.
But then I remember how happy PaperGames was to toss their VAs away for stating an opinion... 🙃
#just kuma thoughts#mr. love queen's choice#mlqc#makes me sad to think about#i really enjoyed reading its story with the voiceover on#like#y'all don't understand how hard it is for me to put focus enough into keeping up with a constantly updating story#just for it all to come crashing down#hate that dictator winnie pooh...#at least lucien kept his voice#I'll remember victor gavin and kiro's voices as they once were#paper games
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thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#im gonna add these to my notfics on ao3 i think i have a Lot of these floating around#a bit shorter than my other metas but i think its something that gets missed when people talk about alone#soap is a violent man#his career literally trains him to shoot first ask questions later#and yet he still tries his best to avoid blood when faced with betrayal#and you realise it actually does fit him#soap cares about the men he serves with#he wants to save the men at the crash site he checks on a downed soldier he asks about civilians about alejandros family#hes very tuned into the people around him#and he cant turn that off until hes forced to#until graves gives him a reason to hate him#and all of that previous care and consideration goes out the window#‘makes me want to commit a few war crimes of my own’#dont cross soap#you want like what happens if you do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#meta#phillip graves#graves cod#save post
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can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,
they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this
ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))
ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money
and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???
#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this#i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die#imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i#and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains#and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down#and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again#and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified#but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain#and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT#he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory#is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die#something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two#and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore#and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei#the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so 💀 killer you GOOF#theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest 💔💔💔#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well#he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two#not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi#if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh#triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy#screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet 💀💀#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#“well howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?”#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#“... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol me”#“you know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!”#“see all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rain”#“I mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#“...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?”#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess 😵#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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The Therapist
There's a new therapist at school.
Normally this wouldn't really bother Peter at all, since he's never gone to see a shrink in his life and doesn't ever plan on it, but there's something... off about this woman.
She seems unassuming enough at first glance. Red hair, green eyes, bright red lipstick. But there is something in her eyes, something that Peter can only describe as a predator looking at its next prey, when she looks around the school at all of the teenagers milling about. Heck, even the way she walks makes her seem as if she is a predator stalking her prey.
It could always be some kind of power move, Peter reasons. He's met people like that before, who try to intimidate everyone around them into thinking that they are superior, that they are the apex predator and anyone who dares to cross them would pay for it dearly.
But his Spidey Sense went crazy around her.
He tries to brush it off as paranoia. He'd pulled an all-nighter last night in the lab with Tony because neither of them had been able to sleep, and he hadn't been sleeping well even before that. (Funny, how it had all started the night after he first bumped into the new therapist in the halls.) So his Spidey Sense is probably out of wack because he's tired. Simple as that.
But it seems like everyone in the school is depressed. Even Ned, who can't even muster up the energy and enthusiasm to talk about Legos or Star Wars or even the weather. It worries Peter.
Because it all started when that therapist came to the school.
He can't ignore it forever, he knows that. There is only so long his Spidey Sense can tell him that she is danger danger danger before he finally listens. He has to do something to help everyone.
So he researches.
And he falls into the rabbit hole of ghosts and ectoplasm and secret government organizations and the little, unassuming town of Amity Park, Illinois.
He doesn't sleep that night.
When he comes to school the next morning, Dr. Penelope Spectra looks him dead in the eyes, and smiles.
#dpxmarvel#peter parker#penelope spectra#peter's boutta get a crash course in ghosts and ghost fighting#he is definitely not prepared#idk why spectra is in new york#specifically midtown tech#but she is#peter starts digging into amity park#he just wanted to find out who spectra is#and he did find out that she's a dangerous “ecto-entity”#he does not know what that is until he does more research#he's very shocked to learn that ghosts are apparently real#meanwhile tucker and the rest of team phantom is freaking out#someone just hacked past the media blackout or whatever around amity park#(you can thank friday (or karen if you prefer) for that)#they're surprised to see that it's coming all the way from new york#and even more surprised to see that the hacker went for spectra's files first#almost as if the hacker was specifically looking for them >:3#maybe danny goes to investigate and finds peter#btw peter can sense ghosts with his spidey sense even if they're invisible. especially if they're invisible#they team up to take spectra down#danny helps peter make some ecto-weapons and a specter deflector or something#then they catch spectra (and bernard because he's probably there too and i'm kinda just now realizing that)#peter gives danny his phone number as thanks and tells him to call him if he ever needs anything#peter doesn't know who phantom is btw. he just knows that his new friend is a ghost that luckily knows how to use technology like phones#maybe there's even a bad reveal a little further down the line and danny calls peter in a panic because sam and tucker have done everything#they can and he needs to get as far away from amity as possible#peter is very surprised to find that his ghost friend is only half ghost and is then very ticked that danny's parents tried to capture#and vivisect him
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one of the most frustrating things to me with the mapleshade/birchfall situation is its like. the only time since into the wild where the books acknowledge queens don't have to reveal the fathers of their litters. when mapleshade tells beetail (? the deputy whats-his-face) shell be raising the kittens alone, he accepts it without question. this implies her lying about birchface being the father was unnecessary, but in Bluestar’s prophecy everybody immediately assumes thrushpelt is the father the minute bluefur is known to be pregnant, and bluefur not correcting this is treated as a reasonable decision despite it being the SAME situation! it's just the authors want mapleshade to be unreasonable so this time it's bad actually.
The in-universe Queen's Rights are so poorly defined and utilized that the BB!Queen's Rights are essentially an entirely original framework. They sometimes exist in the books and sometimes don't, depending on if the writer remembers them or not.
They actually seem to not be a thing in Bluestar's Prophecy, from what I remember. Thrushpelt offers to be the pretend-father as a result.
It seems to have protected Fallowtail though, until Reedfeather decided to kidnap his kids.
Featherstorm's first litter, Raggedpelt and Scorchwind, are bullied for being fatherless and face constant speculation.
Same with Flintfang, Blackstar, and Fernshade. They're not even actually halfclan, Blackpaw holds his tongue and refuses to reveal the truth to stop bullies.
Brokenstar faces open bullying from his adopted siblings for not knowing who his mother is (but also he stops Yellowfang from telling Lizardstripe about it because he overheard a conversation where she told her friend she feels like the baby is stealing milk)
StarClan pushed for Squilf to lie to Brambleclaw for this reason, because they assumed (correctly) that having HalfClan suspicion would make it harder for The Three to be accepted into ThunderClan
So if a queen has "a right" to not reveal parents, it's not very protective. Your kids are going to face bullying and discrimination regardless of how loyal you actually are, or who the dad is.
But yeah suuuure Mapleshade was evil and horrible for not correcting Frecklewish. I can totally accept that in this completely arbitrary situation that somehow it would have turned out better if she told her No and left the whole Clan speculating.
#Jayfeather (handshake) Mizu (I am mixed race and everyone considers this a federal fucking issue)#Toxic yuri AU where at first Mapleshade just let the lie live to protect her kids but then legitimately began falling in love with Freckle#And started to believe that maybe Frecklewish would understand more than anyone why the war should end#And maybe all of her lovers can love each other as well someday#Only for it to come crashing down when the secret is revealed#Mapleshade Discourse O'Clock
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Alternation of Trigun Plant Generations
So, not a bird post, but they have feathers so it counts, right? Right?? *sweats*
I was recently introduced to Trigun, and am absolutely fascinated by the reproduction cycle of Plants. Its time to, once again, put my degree to good use. Here goes nothing:
So at first glance it seems pretty damn fantastical. The main character(and main villian) are the, presumably asexual, reproductive products of a creature with significant physiological differences from them. This is strange for asexual reproduction, as such a thing usually results in a sort of “clone” of the parent. Or does it?
Enter, the life cycle of a fern.
The diagram is a little confusing, but the main point is that the diploid fern(top) asexually reproduces to create the haploid fern(bottom), which looks very little like its parent. The haploid fern can then sexually reproduce to create a another diploid fern, and the cycle goes round and round. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, I’m about to explain it in excrutiating detail. I even made a diagram!
So similar to the fern life cycle. In Trigun, the Dependent Plant can asexually reproduce to create an Independent Plant.
First, up at the top of the diagram, the Independent Plant reaches a state of sporing.
This happens very rarely, as there are only two instances of it occurring on SEEDS ships, and no instances on Gunsmoke/Nomansland. It does seem to, however, become more common on earth, as more Independent Plants arrive at the very end of the manga. I would theorize that this has to do with an incredibly extended lifespan leading to a very late onset of sexual maturity, but that is a theory for another day.
Second, moving down and to the right on the diagram, the Dependent creates spores. These take the form of humanoid infants.
Now, this part of the diagram assumes that the known Independent Plants (ie Vash/Knives and Tesla) are actually male and female(and aren’t functionally sexless like Dependents), which is how they could theoretically reproduce sexually. This is where things diverge from general fern life cycles, as the two sexes are in separate entities not combined into one plant. Therefore, when the Dependent Plant spores, it would create either X(female) or Y(male) Plants originating from one half or the other of its own XY genes. This does align with fern reproduction somewhat, as Haploid plants are created from only one half of a copy of the Diploid plant’s genes. In ferns, both sides of the genes have both male and female characteristics, but for Plants it seems to be split, creating Independents with separate sexes.
Third in the diagram, moving to the bottom. The spores grow into recognizable Independent Plants, with far more humanoid forms than Dependents. These guys would then, at sexual maturity be able to sexually reproduce to create a Dependant Plant zygote(fancy word for baby), which would then grown into a fully formed Dependent Plant. And thus, the cycle continues.
Obviously, we do not directly see this in Trigun, as for the majority of the story, there are only two(presumably male) Independent plants. This cycles has clearly not been documented in the era of the SEEDS ships, so the initial method of plant reproduction was likely simple cloning with some genetic engineering involved. But it is more than possible that natural Plant reproduction was determined on earth, which would be why we see more independents showing up with the earth ships at the end of the manga.
Additional Notes:
Returning to something I mentioned earlier on, dependent plant sporing was not occurring on Gunsmoke/Nomansland. I would guess that this is due to the levels of stress placed on the Dependents by the human populations relying on them. Had the humans been able to reduce the strain on their Plants, they may have been able to produce Independents, therefore allowing for the creation of more dependents, further reducing the strain on existing dependents. But that is just my pet theory.
I have additional theories on the mechanisms behind Dependent Plants resource production, and what an ideal environment of multiple plants living freely might look like, but that is for another post.
Thank you for reading! I honestly don't know if I will do any more non-bird metas, but if you liked this, you can always look at #bfw(my general works tag). As always, my ask box is open to suggestions for bird stuff for me to check out!
#trigun#trigun maximum#trimax#meta#bfw#oops i made a non bird meta#i mean this all comes crashing down if you hc that all plants are sexless and the independants just choose a gender for funsies
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blah blah blah funny CYN and Uzi sharing a body time
NO.
IM GIVING MY BLORBO THE FULL SCIZOSPEC EXPERIENCE.
THAT SHIT WOULD NOT RESULT IN FUNNY AAH COMEDY SITCOM BULLSHIZZLE
I NEED HIDING SYMPTOMS OF THE TORTURE FROM BEING TRAPPED WITH ANOTHER. I NEED THIS GIRL CRYING AND HAVING MENTAL BREAKDOWNS. NOW.
#oh hey its the plot of my fic#OKAY HEAR ME OUT#the others cant hear Cyn okay only uzi can#and you know that mfer is just tryna get control of her again#but shes not gonna tell anyone because that would be "being a burden#so n just has to wonder why his girlfriend is acting weird until it all comes crashing down
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It's lonely isn't it?
#again...VERY SELF INDULGENT#anyways oko deserves an arc where his reality comes crashing down and he cant help but to feel SO alone#hes standing outside and is suddenly so cold#hes thwarted with memories of his traumatic past but hes not angry hes upset at himself for going through that and then hurting people after#plus all of this messed with his idea of him being just absolutely perfect#so hes just getting strangled with emotion#lol#i love hjm#he literally represents so much to me#oko#oko mtg#thunder junction#mtg#magic the gathering#oko the ringleader
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I swear this is gonna be my last polin post (no it’s not)
I neeeed a parallel to that scene in season 1 where colin says he was a fool to fall for marina’s trick (or whatever it was he said, haven’t watched season 1 in a hot while) and Penelope said he wasn’t and that he just thought he was in love and if one finds something like that they need to declare it assuredly, fervently, loudly. Preferably the parallel where he declares his feelings assured, fervently and loudly happens at their engagement ball
#bridgerton#season three#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#she fell first he fell harder#colin x penelope#like i need it#riots will be thrown if it does not happen#he’s just so proud to be her husband and penelope stands there blushing immensely#eloise would be off to the side moping because she hates this#like yes lady whisteldown and all but eloise please let then enjoy their five minutes of happines#we all know it comes crashing down anyway#are y’all ever sick and tired of me posting about them everyday?
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The last 30 days has been so long & it’s all starting to catch up to me
#between applying for an apartment that I didn’t think I’d get & then getting it and having to move 12 days later!!#think I’m just processing that I feel grief about leaving my old apartment as it was the first place I lived on my own#I’m happy & things are good!!! it just all feels like I’m on the edge of a cliff and everything will come crashing down around me#& I’m a month away from the 1 year anniversary of my grandmothers death I just feel grief grief grief it’s everywhere
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someone with a cold being at work all day and their symptoms have been simply a stuffy nose and an annoying amount of sneezing - so they think it's not too bad, until they get home and it feels like they've been hit by a freight train full of fever, headache, and fatigue all in one go
#i just love when. all someone's “hidden” symptoms come crashing down on them as soon as they take a moment's break#even better if it happens in the middle of the work day#so then theyre forced to take the rest of the day off cause they cant possibly carry on like this#rahhhh anyway#k talks snz#snz#snzblr#snz kink#snzario#snz blog#sneeze kink
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Does. Does the Scoundrel know that the masters are all Runts. Is she aware that these idealized idols are outcasts among space bats?
factually? yeah, she probably knows. there's no reason why she wouldn't.
but she, well. she doesn't think about it. she can't let herself think about it.
#because if she thinks about it then her entire worldview comes crashing down around her and her life falls apart#and she refuses to let that happen :)#the scoundrel is very well practiced in avoidance. part of it comes from having a violant mind that easily spirals#and part of it comes from just. who she is as a person#ask#as far as the scoundrel is concerned all of the masters are perfect and know what they're doing at all times#sure they might have made some. minor mistakes along the way. but that's not important!!#they're so much better and cooler and happier than humans could ever dream to be!! they're awesome!!! they're perfect!!!!!#who wouldn't want to be Just Like Them?#also you gotta remember this is the guy who saw mr wines' entire fall from grace and got the worst possible takeaway from it#the scoundrel is not exactly one for acknowledging the bigger picture.#scoundrelventures#as i said. self-perpetuating spiral. refusing to admit the truth bc it means her lies wont last forever#fallen london
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AHAHAHH FINALLY ANOTHER NEW DOODLE PAGE. A COLLAGE OF OLD DOODLES, NEW DOODLES, DOODLES WITH MINIMUM EFFORT, AND DOODLES WITH ALOOOT OF EFFORT. SOME DRAWN ONA TABLET, MOST ON A MOUSE, BEEN IN MY WIPS FOR AGES JUST TTAAAAAKKEE IT BRO I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE. ANYWAY HHEEELLLOOOOOO CHIPS GROWTH OVER 100 EPISODES CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT?? BECAUSE I SURE WILL. IN MY TAGS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#jrwi show#jrwi riptide spoilers#cw blood#chip jrwi#BARRK BARK BARK STARTED THIS WAY BEFORE EP 109 OKAY HHOOOOLY SHIIITT MY BOY.. MY BABY BOY..#HE HAS COME SO FARRRR CAN I BE HONEST? NEEEVER SAW THE FIRE MOTIF COMING#WHEN HE GOT THE WAVE TATS I WAS LIKE awweeyeaaaa ive been headcanoning him with a single shitty faded wave tattoo on his fore arms#BUT TTHEENN THE SECOND ARENA AND THE FIRE AND THE AAARURUGHHGHH IM SSOOO HERE FOR IT#BUT LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN TO ME WELL RIGHT NOW. I BELIEVE THAT CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH.#THE THING THAT FUELS THE FIRE. THAT GIVES IT GROUND FOR WHICH TO THRIVE. CHIP IS SO FOUNDATION TO ME#GILL MOON JAY SUN CHIP EARTH!!!! IM RIGHT!!! IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME I BETTER SEE SOME HHHAAANDS!!!!!!#I HAd so much trouble drawing his tattoos oohh my GOOODD those were the biggest reason i didnt finish this for so long#even now im still iffy but WAHTEVERRR. i love just drawin chip all beat up and sad#hes so tragic and unfortunate. remember when before they entered the black sea. the dude asked if anyone would miss chip. and he went 'no'#like just on impulse. n then jay n gill were like what?? dude no?? youve built up so much? what about all the friends along the way?#n chip was like oh. huh. yeah i guess so. HES SO USED TO BEING NNOOTHIHNGGG remember when he started getting sensitive abt#getting called bastard. OHH REMEMBER HIS SAD BOY ARC.. all the pressure all the ridicule all the misfortune all the failure and guilt#all crashing down onto the head of some wannabe pirate#oh my boy. youve grown so much! and in such a distorted way. what will arlin think when he sees you now?#OHH HOW I HOPE OTHERS NOTICE THAT LIL DOODLE WITH CHIP TAKING HIS FIRST KILL. SLOWLY PLUNGING A BLADE INTO MEAT.#ITS HARDER THAN YOU THINK BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND. AND THEN ITS EASY. JUST SO SO EASY. NOT MUCH BLOOD. IT TRAILED DOWN TO HIS SLEEVE#YOUR FIRST KILL WASNT A BRUTAL BLOODY MESS. IT WAS SAD. IT WAS SCUFFED. BUT IT WAS CLEANER THAN SOME. A BREATH SILENCED IN MERE SECONDS.#IT LEFT A STAIN ON YOUR SLEEVE. THATS ALL THE KILL LEFT BUT YOU CARRY THAT. YOU CARRY THAT INTO A NIGHT OF CHEER AND JOLLY#YOU CARRY THAT STAIN. YOU STOLE THIS BLOOD. YOU TOOK THIS LIFE. CERTAINLY THIS HAS TO STOP AT SOME POINT. AND IT MIGHT ASWELL END WITH FIRE#LOVE U CHIP MWAH#EDIT: IF U SAW ME FORGET TO DRAW CHIPS MISSIN TOOTH IN THE TOP RIGHT: NO YOU DIDNT
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i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts
#ramble tag#its so like. okay.#launchpad was when they 'peaked'. best years of their lives#the . i think what we canonically know happened at launchpad was like.#laquidditch (fun!) christmas special adventures (fun!)#and then . also#getting deeply bullied. sol lightly kidnapped to launchpad. lizer. claudius. 'you made us run until we threw up' 'im pretty sure he got off#on torturing kids'. literally what the fuck was their deal#getting stuck in a spiders web ???? for a semester ?????#......??? getting chased down by a vaccum cleaner ..........#'it got a lot darker near the end' ... fun pretend child endangerment#like . man.#not to sound CRAZY or anything. does anyone get the impression launchpad was like. a bad ? time ? for them ?? like. it just straight up. bad#by god does it rlly sound to me like#the feeling of when high school was so bad it made ur life a living hell to be in. and u were truly just. surviving#but then youd b goofing off w ur friends in a little dorm. and the stress and the exhaustion seems to color everything that isnt that.#in a beautiful hazy rosy golden film#it hurt but the hurt was monotonous and dull. so all u remember were those shining bright in betweens#sol and albie sneaking into the kitchen and enchanting the self moving cookingware and just seeing what happens#and watching mothership approved saturday morning cartoons in bed#and studying together late at night n sol tucks albin in after hes crashed from hiss allnighter#and passing notes in class#and all that free time over crittermas breaks to do stupid dares and long rambling conversations abt nothing#sol knits albie his first sweater#they have their first beer together#they come back after a really bad day for the both of them and lie on the floor and talk abt anything but that#albin practices spells on sol and its not a good or safe idea but its probably fine#albin pettily bitching about his assigned partner for an arcana class project and sol blindly tsking his side always#only wizards can check out library books and albie checks out all sols books for him#...... anyway
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