#just for his wife

[oldmanlusting]

Google how to ask someone if they're in an open relationship

[pouletpourri]

"You just have to look closely."

[cryptocism]

that half-blank, half-apocalyptic look

"i can b ur angle or yuor devil" etc etc "get a man who can do both" etc etc

obsessed with this vamp i think he should get to do whatever he wants forever

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[chloesimaginationthings]

William is the most divorced man in the FNAF universe

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

(any time after the events of the vengeance saga & ithaca saga)

*under the ocean in poseidon's palace*

poseidon: *talking with amphitrite*

poseidon: i wouldn't wish that upon my worse enemy!

poseidon: *pauses and feels phantom pains from his old impalement wounds/scars*

poseidon: *eye twitching* ...unless of course...we're talking about my enemy, odysseus.

poseidon: *looking up at the ocean's surface from his underwater palace*

poseidon: fuck you odysseus, you know what you did!

amphitrite: ...

amphitrite: *sighs*

*meanwhile on ithaca*

odysseus: *yapping away with penelope whilst on a walk through the palace grounds*

odysseus: so then i said "cause i don't even have to kill you, i just have to avoid yo-"

odysseus: *violently sneezes*

penelope: ...

penelope: are you feeling unwell, my love?

odysseus: no i'm fine.

odysseus: i just get the feeling im being bad-mouthed...again

odysseus: *turns head and glares at the ocean*

[bobaenjoyer]

who gave odysseus permission to be so "oh my gawd penelope stawp i'm so petite and don't want to get my toes wet" right after going on his villain arc? and why did he eat it up as well?

"...captain why are you kicking your feet and giggling" - eurylochus at some point probably

[gabichanwrites]

Just realized that if only Poseidon went straight to Ithaca and asked for Odysseus, Penelope could do the biggest gamble of them all and get one of the suitors in SUCH DEEP SHIT.

Poseidon: "Odysseus of Ithaca! Tell me this instant where is this mortal who dared to hurt my son and try to lie about his name!

Penelope: ...

Suitors: ....

Penelope: *stops weaving*

Penelope: *pointing right at Antonius* There he is! This one is Odysseus, my husband and king of Ithaca! Please don't sink us, almighty god of the sea!

Antonius: What? I'm not Odysseus, I--

Penelope: Of course he would say that! He's a liar!

Poseidon: *has no reason to not believe her, wipes him out effortlessly*

Then Odysseus comes back like "It's me, Penelope! Your husband!"

Penelope: "No, you're not. From now on your name is Agamemnon the Greater and the new lover I marry to make king."

Odysseus: *grumbling* why after Agamemnon though...

AND HOW WOULD POSEIDON EVER KNOW?!

[alnilaem]

*heavy sigh* ……. Price

[decaffeinatedpartymuggoop]

My favorite thing about Annabeth is her wardrobe.

Cause like, Rick simplifies her clothes in a way a man would, and you can tell.

Cause in EVERY book, from The Lightning Thief to Chalice, she’s in the goddamn CHB shirt. With like some shorts or cargo pants. Nothing more, nothing less.

He’s made improvements over the years, giving her some other clothes. But he’ll always come back to old faithful.

Like, he most definitely did it on accident, but he made her so Adam Sandler and I love it

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

No one has fathered the way Anthony Bridgerton is about to Father

[butchgrantcurly]

“sixth house obsessed with medical necromancy” factoid actualy just statistical error. average sixth house scholar has 0 interest in medical necromancy. palamedes sextus, who made a war of his whole life to pursue one cougar with turbo blood cancer, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[columboscreens]

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Fic Idea where Fiddleford helps Stan rebuild the portal, but Stan finds out that Fiddleford has a wife and he's like

"You have a WIFE?? That DIDN'T marry you to steal your car and money???? What are you DOING here???"

"Yeah, well.... She's better off thinking I'm dead somewhere....."

"A WIFE. That LOVES you. Get outta here and go explain yourself, Idiot!!"

"She and our son shouldn't have to deal with--"

"YOUR SON???!!?!!??"

Anyways, so Stan helps Fiddleford reach out and explain himself to his wife, but expresses that he wants to keep being in Gravity Falls, so his wife and kid go to live with them in The Shack instead.

Blah blah blah, bonding happens, Stan bags Fiddleford AND his wife and becomes a step dad, God bless 🙏

[chloesimaginationthings]

You think William has heard Ballora’s FNAF song?..

[saltoru]

being a jujutsu sorcerer and a parent rarely ends well. sorcerers who have to fight for their lives everyday barely have any time and energy even for themselves. adding babies to the picture is hard to imagine.

but gojo was determined to balance his work and personal life when you entered his life, which is why he has a baby girl strapped to his chest as he holds up his hand and crosses his fingers, already to send a special grade curse into his domain.

"daddy~" his baby babbles, cheek squished against his purple uniform.

"yes, baby?" gojo smiles down at his baby and gently sweeps her hair out of her eyes. he pays little to no attention to the curse, who had already spread out their domain and is currently sending wave after wave of attacks, all of which gojo repels with a touch. "this is domain expansion," he gently explains to her, smirking at the curse who is obviously offended that he wasn't taking them seriously. "in a second, you're gonna see daddy's domain."

his baby blinks and shuffles around in the strap, whining a bit as she tries to get comfortable. for all she knows, it's too dark and hot and she misses mommy's smell.

before she knows it, the space around her begins to look like the night sky, and she can't see the curse anymore.

"this is my domain," her daddy says, but she misses seeing the sun. why is it nighttime all of the sudden?

"nooo" she whines as she kicks around. where's the ice cream he promised her earlier? and where is mommy? she doesn't want to go to sleep yet!

"not easily impressed, hm?" he laughs, protectively holding his baby's head against his chest as he closes up his domain after finishing off the curse.

"let's go get ice cream, yeah?" he ruffles her hair and holds up her hands, dancing them up in the air with a huge grin. the sunlight hits her face again and a smile quickly reappears. "you did so good today. did you learn a lot about jujutsu fights today? did'ja enjoy our little adventure together?"

"ice cweam" she smiles, doing a few happy kicks. and that's how the tradition of getting ice cream after missions started for the daddy-daughter pair.