#just felt like sharing this ig
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bad news: a house cleaning client fired me </3
good news: will have a little more time for art?
#a bit emotionally drained rn but its all good#I'm hoping ill be able to be a little more productive art-wise#and dw about me or anything#I still live with my parents and im not in financial danger#just#you know#doesn't feel good to lose a client rip#anyway#not art#just felt like sharing this ig
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I AM one of the horrors at this point. And horrors persist. 💕
#seraphina.txt#just shared this on IG and it felt like it was tumblr viral coded#so tumblr please do your thing with it
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Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol.3 Mukami Ruki Stellaworth Tokuten Bromide & Short Story Paper
Originally, these were tokutens you'd get for buying Ruki's CD through the Stellaworth store. Nowadays you might find them sold at flea markets or second hand stores. The story is written from Ruki's POV, and takes place right after the ending of his CD, with him and Yui still on the rooftop.
Enjoy the angst (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)d
(Don't repost anywhere!)
#my ramblings are at the bottom of the tags this time for anyone interested dhdjfj#dialovers#diabolik lovers#diahell#ruki mukami#yui komori#ruki x yui#mb ruki x yui#more blood#short story#diabolik lovers official art#mine#this actually made me a bit sad ;_;#now that i think about it ruki's early stories are all more or less angsty#which checks out#the man himself basically says outright (in DF i think) that he didn't know what happiness felt like before he met and fell in love with Yu#and he also mentions (can't remember where exactly) that he used to wish he had simply died as a human#that he saw no real meaning in his “second life”#so yes. he was in a very dark place emotionally at the start of the franchise#which is why his later routes/CDs/stories warm my heart so dang much#just the difference in his outlook and demeanor aughh. fuck. the feels fffffgdgdg *cries*#i am so normal about this man#speaking of which...the upcoming rukiyui story (which will be posted on friday whoooo!) is so fucking good omg#definitely one of my new faves#so look forward to that on friday ((o(*^∇^*)o)) can't wait to share it!#oh and the 9 other stories as well ig sgdg#they're kind of already fading from my awareness though cuz they're not rukiyui :p
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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I kept seeing posts of people having dreams of mega man
#I felt like I should share (I had free time)#i was really paranoid that he was hiding somewhere and was gonna jump out and hit me#...... for some reason#mega man#megaman#rock man#rockman#elec man#elecman#he was just there....... chillin. ig
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quick redraw of a parun drawing plus arson🔥🔥 local child has set the town on fire do you forgive
#re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#fanart#my art#sometimes i forget my tumblr needs to be organized and forget to add the art tag i forget it has a point💔#computer survived another day i got a new cable so the computer who acts like its a decade old when its not lives another day#wanna share that when going to the ref i made for my color palette of yuu my computer just casually ate that file#like i dont even know what to say my computer just. ate up some files for no reason it felt silly ig???#luckily i always upload my drawings to a drive but it is kinda funny that lately i keep having to download my own art back so i can use it😭#atp i not only have to download reference pictures from pinterest i have to download my own reference pictures from google drive
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You know what I will hate?
If someone else has to point out how Buck or Eddie feels. I know that’s a popular trope, but honestly? Fuck that.
Fuck having to tell a queer person who they’re supposed to be with, how they’re supposed to feel. I actually hate that so much. Because why, why is it that after being told we’re supposed to love certain people, and we realize we don’t, we’re told from ALL SIDES who we are supposed to love after we come out. From the people who don’t accept us to the people that do.
I don’t want Tommy telling Buck that hey man you’re in love with Eddie
I want Buck to realize and accept this on his own, it’s HIS choice it’s HIS life he’s finally free so Let Him Have The Control
I don’t want Marisol to tell Eddie he’s not in love with her, he’s in love with Buck. I actually HATE when fans decide the girlfriend has to take upon that role.
I want Eddie to have his own oh moment. I want Eddie to have this soft, happy, light feeling of being free.
I don’t want Christopher a literal chick to tell Buck and Eddie they’re in love.
I want them to discover it together on their own. I want them to talk to Christopher separately and together about it. Don’t involve a child in the love lives of adults.
I do not fucking want Hen (or Karen and Josh) to look at these two and say I called it.
THEY ARE ALSO QUEER!! They KNOW what it’s like to feel the need to keep this part of yourself a secret, to be scared, to be overwhelmed with emotions, to finally feel free.
I want them to be so so unbelievably happy and proud of Buck and Eddie and to not take away from their discovery of themselves. 
I don’t want past girlfriends showing up and saying they knew something was off.
Because you know what? Let’s not make queer characters uncomfortable and guilty for something that wasn’t their fault, something they weren’t even AWARE of, or to feel any pain for a relationship that is very much over.
I don’t think you guys understand how much you seem to demand for us to get buddie as queer, to have Eddie and Buck as queer, and in the same breath want to take what that means away from them
Them realizing they are queer is not something that other characters should have a huge opinion or input on. It should be THEM worried about what others will say and think only to find out they are so loved by those who truly matter.
Coming out as queer is HUGE. It’s not easy, it can be confusing and it’s overwhelming. Let Buck, and if it happens then Eddie as well, go about their own journey their way. Stop forcing other characters, straight or queer, to be in it. It’s not about anyone else but them. It’s not a simple love story of two men that are already out. It’s about realizing hey, this thing I thought I was my entire life? It’s not true.
Let them process that and take it in and explorer what is a completely newworld.
#I swear to god I hate this fandom so much#STOP TAKING AWAY FROM A QUEER CHARACTERS JOURNEY#I see this in EVERY FANDOM#a already canon queer character does not NEED to be all knowing every time#they can be just as clueless and confused (especially when they’re also young)#or they can be just Happy for their friend or family and let them take their time to figure it out like THEY did#as someone who has come out before#and been told by a person that they weren’t surprised#that shit is NOT assuring or comforting it’s terrifying igs j#it’s horrible and it feels like your being#locked away again because How Can Someone Else Know before you figure it out and before you were Ready to share it#it’s really fucking telling how many of you are straight in the closet completely or have#the privilege to have never felt this before#because Buck and Eddie? they don’t have that#911 abc#whatoh back at it again#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie
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AliExpress,,, what are you trying to sell me and why
#not skeleton stuff#weird ads#the fursuit. i kinda get#wtf are the other 2 things though#i just felt like sharing ig#been a while since I've posted about weird ads#so i thought 'hey why not'#cw suggestive#slightly suggestive
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so something weird just happened. I read a story about this racist heinz ad on the underground and thought something completely different was racist about it to what the actual black community has been saying
I saw it and was like 'oh yeah that's gross, a bunch of white people treating a black woman like enjoying her favourite food is weird in this old-timey style is definitely racist' but apparently the actual issue people have is that her dad isn't present and it's implying black families all have deadbeat fathers. obviously yeah that's racist too but I'm surprised that's the first thing people noticed and found questionable
#political crap#tw racism#just in case#i assumed the father was just out of frame (which doesn’t make it not racist but i didn’t assume he was a deadbeat)#ig my observations about this are totally different as a very middle class white person#but idk i felt like sharing bc i thought it was odd#and ig maybe to get other people's perspectives since this is just a story in britain
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: SUR'KESH
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Wrex With: Lt. Steve Cortez, Dr. Mordin Solus, Major Kirrahe, and Urdnot Bakara And a Special Guest Appearance by: Adm. Steven Hackett Alliance R&D has officially begun construction on the Prothean device. The team has dubbed it: "Project Crucible". We're throwing everybody who knows how to throw a hammer at it. This is gonna be the most ambitious undertaking in human history. I'm not saying it won't be a challenge- but we can do this, Shepard. You can do this. Never doubt that. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
+BONUS (the smirk™️)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#urdnot wrex#steve cortez#mordin solus#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#i feel like i probably should have split the actually sur'kesh set in half like i did with mars#but i got lazy after i split out the normandy summit gifs and i wanted to keep the rest of the mission together lol#wrex having small conversation moments with james and EDI was everything to me#bc with both of them it felt like wrex passing on some of his old kid on the block knowledge to the new kids on the block and i just 🥺#like i didn't get it in the gif but the second part of that convo with james he says something like#'you're one of shep's new recruits? hang on kid- it's a hell of a ride!' and when i tell you i SOBBED#like the entire first half of this playthrough is soph taking her newer squadmates out to help her build the army for the reaper war#so running into all these old friends/teammates and hearing them share their wisdom with james and EDI as new recruits is everything to me!#also EDI and james look very cute in their armor (ESPECIALLY EDI IN HER HUNTER HOOD I LOVE HER YOUR HONOR)#i'm just gonna say wrex's little tongue out at the salarians in the background of padok's gif sent me so hard i had to include it LMAO#and i'd write something about the mordin cameo but the mordin cameo on tuchanka is better so i'll save my thoughts for that one#ig thanks for being wrex's inside man mordin you were real for that one#the real salarian homie of this mission was kirrahe and i love him (he's my favorite and i adore him thank you for coming to my TEDtalk) :)#and i will also say that i adore bakara and she's the highlight of this mission for me bc of the lines but also like???#her grabbing the shotgun from wrex to take out the cerberus troops is everything and his expression afterwards is *chef's kiss*#and SOPH'S LITTLE SMIRK LMAOOOOOOO i had to include it bc i saw it in the back and it sent me to the next dimension lol#and since i just use the tags to share all my annoying little thoughts on a final note:#i included the elevator bomb scene bc in soph's canon she gets injured during it for the shenko angst pre-coup bc i'm an angsty bitch :)
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So a thought occurred, you know the way Childe in his Foul Legacy form has one eye (or at least looks like he does)?
What if the reason he choose to tell Teucer ruin guards were the heroes was in hope that if Teucer ever saw him in his Foul Legacy, he wouldn't be terrified and would instead think of the one eyed giants who are his favourite toys??
Idk food for thought.
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#teucer#foul legacy#childe's story quest#big brother ajax is best ajax yall i will fight to the death over this#idk this just popped into my brain and i felt the need to share ig#no idea if its been thought of before#its like 3 in the morning god i hope this comes out even somewhat coherent#also yes im a genshin/childe bitch moving on
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same
#felt like sharing this#i was gonna go to sleep like 2 hours ago but then i started thinking about the book#and then AMs hate speech#and then i just kinda went down a rabbit hole and anyway i bought the game#also they way harlan ellison voices him is just so fucking good#im not really even into these kinda things there was just some animatic in my yt rec one day#and it never left my mind ig#i have no mouth and i must scream#am is bbg#i would gove him a lil kiss#mwah#and then hed rip out my spine or something#arghh ack yowch#my spine
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yusuke urameshi 🤝 sonic the hedgehog
cool 90s protags that are very "arospec bisexual and polyamorous/open to casual sex with friends" to me
#also the protags of my biggest series hyperfixations#sonic is more completely aro to me but im down with varying hcs#and even ship him in non-aro ways but im not really heavily shippy with him#meanwhile for yusuke i see him more demiromantic/grayromantic or arospec of some sort#not many people he falls in love with but plenty people he finds hot#nsft#ish ig?#anyways idk. they both just scream arospec bi to me n felt like sayin that headcanon#yusuke urameshi#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#yyh#sth#yusuke i see falls in love with kei.ko and kuwa.bara#and then is attracted to like. most of his friends lmao#kur.ama and hi.ei are very posessive of each other and not into sharing nor are they into anyone else#so yusukes like Disappointing but he gets it. no biggie#bot.an is very sex repulsed ace and so is also a hell no#j.in would be down for sure tho
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Had a very vivid dream today that my room was infested with incredibly small blue lobsters that moved ungodly fast but usually just stood still and liked hugging active electric cables but dream me didnt care and spent the afternoon playing some strange creepypasta esc prototype version of the first guilty gear game where everyone looked weirdly haggered/ upset in some hard to pin down way, the music was weirdly discordant and at times was on some straight up toe shit one round deadass had a song that sounded like an angry (?) version of goodbye. almost all the stages were replaced with gigantic incredibly bright and washed out desserts with one tower structure thing that was impossibly big/ high and extremely far out in the distance + some closer up but sparce humanoid like structures buried in the sand (think the mother beast from drakengard but less human looking sometimes). The game just had such a weird vibe from what i remember and had very sparce incomplete ui. Was also doing the movie screen ratio thing that strive does for ults but like all the time instead so it had a much less gamey feel honestly. Been thinking about this weird dream version of the game all day for somereason idk it had that at any moment something incredibly fucked up could happen vibe to it but nothing did as far as I could recall
#guilty gear#ig?#idk man i just felt like sharing this weird ass dream i had lmfao#might try to recreat screenshots of what i remember from it if i got time. shits really intruiged me for some reason
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I was already pro-endo, but I recently had a moment of clarity where I realized that the natural endpoint of my perspective on mental health and personal autonomy was even more radically pro-endo and even anti-psychiatry. so now I'm kind of sitting with that and I keep noticing my ingrained reactions to certain things and interrogating them, and trying to be like "okay, this doesn't align with my stated viewpoint anymore. how can I fix that? what do I need to do to make those things connect?"
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it’s so funny bc i’m homeschooled and i avoided like 90% of the Average Kid childhood trauma bc of that and when ppl ask about my education i’m just like. look buddy. i can attribute an astonishing chunk of my good attitude, adventuresome spirit and kind heart to having watched my little pony instead of doing homework.
i know it sounds silly [because it is!] but i’m not kidding. being able to choose what i pursued was EXACTLY what i needed growing up, so i didn’t have to waste any extra time on subjects that didn’t appeal to me, worry about bullies or awful teachers, AND i had heaps of free time to spend doing what i pleased [almost entirely drawing]. i learned to write a check, order and shop for my own food, care for farm animals and pets, ask for help, speak my mind, dress as i like, and foster an outgoing and hopeful outlook on life that school would not have taught me.
my mom is incredible, and she has taught me countless invaluable things about life. but as a little kid, your parent’s lessons tend to bounce right off. the very same lessons from my favorite characters however, typically didn’t!
watching my little pony reinforced everything my mom stands for: kindness, reaching out and helping others, and looking out for and encouraging your peers, to name a few. good news - these very values are portrayed in flawed and deeply relatable pastel ponies with catchy songs full of heart and joy! watching my little pony prepared me for far more than i could have imagined in life, sometimes with something as simple as asking myself “what would rarity do?” in a situation i’m not confident in, for example.
i like to joke about how they should play my little pony for the kids in school, but i think it really does teach many things that aren’t inherently reinforced in the school system [although, i am only speaking on what i’ve heard from people who weren’t homeschooled. i have been inside a school only once for a short time].
anyway, this is all to say that it saddens me a bit when people casually reduce my little pony to something of little significance. mlp obliviously isn’t going to be everyone’s thing, but the positive impact it has had on me and countless others is undeniable, and it’s my hope that we soon live in a world that proudly encourages more media like my little pony for not only kids, but people of all ages to enjoy unabashed, no matter their story. every time i hear a friend say their parents didn’t let them watch it because it was ‘too girly’ or whatever nonsense, i become increasingly determined to make that world a reality.
long story short: i hold my little pony close and i am very grateful for what it’s taught me and continues to teach me, even all these years later. it’s good to be earnest and love as much as you can.
#my little pony#greenie lore dump ig LAWL#idk man i just watched oppenheimer and it got me thinking about my personal philosophy a lot#and i started thinking of all the reasons i always felt i had to seek joy and whimsy in my life no matter what#bc this world is in a bad way [as usual] and i wanted to know why the inherit terror of living wasn’t killing me already#and like. in the absolute most simplified terms possible. at the very root of it.#for me it started with taking mlp to heart and modeling myself after those characters#and really all i want to say is that i’m proud of people for trying. all i want to share is the delight i find in each day#and i want to acknowledge that the awful terrible everyday horrors of this world are very real and very certain#but for every demoralizing sorrow in this world there is always an equal if not greater love#that’s how i see it anyway#mlp#thoughts
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