#just extreme misery forever

[valdeznation]

we're all gonna die (valgrace)

valgrace week prompt 1: soulmates

jason shifts in leo’s hold, breaths deep and even, his cheek pressed against his husband’s warm chest.  leo’s own heart thuds below his, the sound so similar to the stuffed cat with a beating toy heart his mother got him for his second birthday weeks before she left.  he wants to speak.  he wants to silence the thoughts he can hear grinding in leo’s mind like the gears he so often gets his fingers caught in at work, wants to toss a stick in and make them stop.

“do you think i’m going to die?” he whispers after a few minutes, arms tightening around leo’s waist as he exhales shakily, knowing and dreading the answer.  jason is used to death, has even been able to accept leo’s – just not his own. 

leo, for his part, doesn’t react.  there’s no tension in his body, only love and tenderness that presses around jason in the form of strong thighs bracketing his hips, stronger hands weaving through jason’s curls, twirling, braiding, silent above him for what feels like hours.  “yes,” he says finally, words almost lost in the mass of golden hair he’s got his wonderfully soft lips pressed against, the vibration of his voice trickling down jason’s spine, equal amounts kind and horribly cruel.  it’s a gentle confirmation of his mortality, and jason knows he’s right.  leo has never been one to sugarcoat, opting instead to gently lower the thousand-tonne truth onto the shaking shoulders he is now soothing with warm hands, hands that have created innumerable things but failed at crafting his lover a longer life.  it is and forever will be his biggest regret.

if he were stronger, if he hadn’t been sick for so long, if his muscles weren’t eaten away and dying, he would kneel before leo and beg for a lie, but his hands, which once slew titans, can’t hold a mug of coffee, much less change the course of the river of his husband’s nature.  jason has heard worse, borne worse, survived worse than this, and yet, and yet, and yet.  

“please don’t give up on me,” he breathes, shoulderblades twitching under leo’s fingers as he manouvres his chin to rest on leo’s chest, faded blue eyes framed by a halo of blonde lashes twitching as they meet the fire swirling behind amber-stained brown.  maybe in another life he was the sky, cold atmosphere reflecting infinite shades of beauty for everyone to see but never getting to see it for himself, a decoration.  maybe in another life leo was the earth, rich soil replete with life, drinking in rain and sunlight and summer air and making with it everything worth seeing, trees and birds and the tinkling laughs of children.  maybe that was what they were.  maybe that was why they were not allowed to have each other, hold each other, till death did them part.  maybe they were made to be apart.  

“i couldn’t,” leo breathes back, the mint-and-coffee breath curling around his cheek tugging jason from his thoughts.  hands rake through his hair again, shaking now.  everything under him shakes, even the single tear on leo’s thick lower lashes.  his voice is catching in his chest, jason can feel it, a tremor shooting through his ribs as his adam’s apple bobs up and down.  “i couldn’t, jace.  not even if i wanted to.  not even if i tried.”

he wants to reply, wants to say something sweet and grateful and smile and sit up to kiss his other half, wants to feel whole in his arms and slot their noses together and feel leo’s stubble scratch against his, but any hope of speaking dies the second the tear falls, leaving a barely-visible track that glitters on his bronze skin in the dim lighting of their bedroom.  he hasn’t seen leo cry since they were sixteen.  he hates that it’s his fault.  

“i couldn’t,” he says again, mumbling like the words hurt to get out, like the same chronic ache that’s settled in jason’s body is starting to infect him, too.  “even after you… a-after…” his voice fades and falters, whatever peace he had displayed earlier about this situation quickly dissipating into tangible pain thickening the air around them, and jason is the sky, and he reflects this, so it is all they can both see.  all they can both feel.  “even after you die, i won’t give up.”  a gentle thumb traces his lower lip, callouses catching on chapped skin, easily-soothed pain taking edge off of the all-encompassing agony.  

everything is shaking and leo is the earth, soaking in anguish and morphing it into pixie dust that decorates his cheeks as more tears fall.  “i’ll look into every doorway and wait for you to walk through it,” he whispers, a terrible sadness in his eyes.  it is heavy, so much so that it settles easily into the grooves that were cut out for it in leo’s bones so many years ago.  “i could watch you die in my arms tonight and still hope you would be in the kitchen burning waffles come morning.” 

[ms-demeanor]

Has anything actually gotten better, for all the work you talk about doing? Or is it just treading water in misery forever?

Anon, ten years ago gay people couldn't get married in large parts of the US. AIDS was an almost certain death sentence when I was in high school. I was looking at job boards the other day and found a part time gas station job that had health insurance as a benefit, which NEVER would have happened 15 years ago. When I was a kid, hitting your child was extremely normalized in the US and my parents were the weird ones for not doing it. There is a vaccine for chicken pox. I didn't meet anyone who had transitioned until my 20s because it was so uncommon to transition in the aughts, and now there are some states that protect your right to have gender affirming care provided by your health insurance. It's not all states, but it's better than the number of states that had it in 2010, which was zero. THERE ARE TENANTS UNIONS NOW. WE HAVE A VACCINE AGAINST CERVICAL CANCER.

And all of that has been the work of a lot of individuals and organizations and research teams and activists.

[ashennightingale]

I feel like schrodingers suicide risk. I don't wanna do anything except I want the catharsis of wanting to. I want to either be breakdown sobbing everybody knows smths wrong Bad or else fine & coping. but instead I'm neither and also both at the same time. there's not even a cat anymore. I want to open the box

[mostlysignssomeportents]

What the fuck is a PBM?

TOMORROW (Sept 24), I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!

Terminal-stage capitalism owes its long senescence to its many defensive mechanisms, and it's only by defeating these that we can put it out of its misery. "The Shield of Boringness" is one of the necrocapitalist's most effective defenses, so it behooves us to attack it head-on.

The Shield of Boringness is Dana Claire's extremely useful term for anything so dull that you simply can't hold any conception of it in your mind for any length of time. In the finance sector, they call this "MEGO," which stands for "My Eyes Glaze Over," a term of art for financial arrangements made so performatively complex that only the most exquisitely melted brain-geniuses can hope to unravel their spaghetti logic. The rest of us are meant to simply heft those thick, dense prospectuses in two hands, shrug, and assume, "a pile of shit this big must have a pony under it."

MEGO and its Shield of Boringness are key to all of terminal-stage capitalism's stupidest scams. Cloaking obvious swindles in a lot of complex language and Byzantine payment schemes can make them seem respectable just long enough for the scammers to relieve you of all your inconvenient cash and assets, though, eventually, you're bound to notice that something is missing.

If you spent the years leading up to the Great Financial Crisis baffled by "CDOs," "synthetic CDOs," "ARMs" and other swindler nonsense, you experienced the Shield of Boringness. If you bet your house and/or your retirement savings on these things, you experienced MEGO. If, after the bubble popped, you finally came to understand that these "exotic financial instruments" were just scams, you experienced Stein's Law ("anything that can't go forever eventually stops"). If today you no longer remember what a CDO is, you are once again experiencing the Shield of Boringness.

As bad as 2008 was, it wasn't even close to the end of terminal stage capitalism. The market has soldiered on, with complex swindles like carbon offset trading, metaverse, cryptocurrency, financialized solar installation, and (of course) AI. In addition to these new swindles, we're still playing the hits, finding new ways to make the worst scams of the 2000s even worse.

That brings me to the American health industry, and the absurdly complex, ridiculously corrupt Pharmacy Benefit Managers (PBMs), a pathology that has only metastasized since 2008.

On at least 20 separate occasions, I have taken it upon myself to figure out how the PBM swindle works, and nevertheless, every time they come up, I have to go back and figure it out again, because PBMs have the most powerful Shield of Boringness out of the whole Monster Manual of terminal-stage capitalism's trash mobs.

PBMs are back in the news because the FTC is now suing the largest of these for their role in ripping off diabetics with sky-high insulin prices. This has kicked off a fresh round of "what the fuck is a PBM, anyway?" explainers of extremely variable quality. Unsurprisingly, the best of these comes from Matt Stoller:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/monopoly-round-up-lina-khan-pharma

Stoller starts by pointing out that Americans have a proud tradition of getting phucked by pharma companies. As far back as the 1950s, Tennessee Senator Estes Kefauver was holding hearings on the scams that pharma companies were using to ensure that Americans paid more for their pills than virtually anyone else in the world.

But since the 2010s, Americans have found themselves paying eye-popping, sky-high, ridiculous drug prices. Eli Lilly's Humolog insulin sold for $21 in 1999; by 2017, the price was $274 – a 1,200% increase! This isn't your grampa's price gouging!

Where do these absurd prices come from? The story starts in the 2000s, when the GW Bush administration encouraged health insurers to create "high deductible" plans, where patients were expected to pay out of pocket for receiving care, until they hit a multi-thousand-dollar threshold, and then their insurance would kick in. Along with "co-pays" and other junk fees, these deductibles were called "cost sharing," and they were sold as a way to prevent the "abuse" of the health care system.

The economists who crafted terminal-stage capitalism's intellectual rationalizations claimed the reason Americans paid so much more for health care than their socialized-medicine using cousins in the rest of the world had nothing to do with the fact that America treats health as a source of profits, while the rest of the world treats health as a human right.

No, the actual root of America's health industry's problems was the moral defects of Americans. Because insured Americans could just go see the doctor whenever they felt like it, they had no incentive to minimize their use of the system. Any time one of these unhinged hypochondriacs got a little sniffle, they could treat themselves to a doctor's visit, enjoying those waiting-room magazines and the pleasure of arranging a sick day with HR, without bearing any of the true costs:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/27/the-doctrine-of-moral-hazard/

"Cost sharing" was supposed to create "skin in the game" for every insured American, creating a little pain-point that stung you every time you thought about treating yourself to a luxurious doctor's visit. Now, these payments bit hardest on the poorest workers, because if you're making minimum wage, at $10 co-pay hurts a lot more than it does if you're making six figures. What's more, VPs and the C-suite were offered "gold-plated" plans with low/no deductibles or co-pays, because executives understand the value of a dollar in the way that mere working slobs can't ever hope to comprehend. They can be trusted to only use the doctor when it's truly warranted.

So now you have these high-deductible plans creeping into every workplace. Then along comes Obama and the Affordable Care Act, a compromise that maintains health care as a for-profit enterprise (still not a human right!) but seeks to create universal coverage by requiring every American to buy a plan, requiring insurers to offer plans to every American, and uses public money to subsidize the for-profit health industry to glue it together.

Predictably, the cheapest insurance offered on the Obamacare exchanges – and ultimately, by employers – had sky-high deductibles and co-pays. That way, insurers could pocket a fat public subsidy, offer an "insurance" plan that was cheap enough for even the most marginally employed people to afford, but still offer no coverage until their customers had spent thousands of dollars out-of-pocket in a given year.

That's the background: GWB created high-deductible plans, Obama supercharged them. Keep that in your mind as we go through the MEGO procedures of the PBM sector.

Your insurer has a list of drugs they'll cover, called the "formulary." The formulary also specifies how much the insurance company is willing to pay your pharmacist for these drugs. Creating the formulary and paying pharmacies for dispensing drugs is a lot of tedious work, and insurance outsources this to third parties, called – wait for it – Pharmacy Benefits Managers.

The prices in the formulary the PBM prepares for your insurance company are called the "list prices." These are meant to represent the "sticker price" of the drug, what a pharmacist would charge you if you wandered in off the street with no insurance, but somehow in possession of a valid prescription.

But, as Stoller writes, these "list prices" aren't actually ever charged to anyone. The list price is like the "full price" on the pricetags at a discount furniture place where everything is always "on sale" at 50% off – and whose semi-disposable sofas and balsa-wood dining room chairs are never actually sold at full price.

One theoretical advantage of a PBM is that it can get lower prices because it bargains for all the people in a given insurer's plan. If you're the pharma giant Sanofi and you want your Lantus insulin to be available to any of the people who must use OptumRX's formulary, you have to convince OptumRX to include you in that formulary.

OptumRX – like all PBMs – demands "rebates" from pharma companies if they want to be included in the formulary. On its face, this is similar to the practices of, say, NICE – the UK agency that bargains for medicine on behalf of the NHS, which also bargains with pharma companies for access to everyone in the UK and gets very good deals as a result.

But OptumRX doesn't bargain for a lower list price. They bargain for a bigger rebate. That means that the "price" is still very high, but OptumRX ends up paying a tiny fraction of it, thanks to that rebate. In the OptumRX formulary, Lantus insulin lists for $403. But Sanofi, who make Lantus, rebate $339 of that to OptumRX, leaving just $64 for Lantus.

Here's where the scam hits. Your insurer charges you a deductible based on the list price – $404 – not on the $64 that OptumRX actually pays for your insulin. If you're in a high-deductible plan and you haven't met your cap yet, you're going to pay $404 for your insulin, even though the actual price for it is $64.

Now, you'd think that your insurer would put a stop to this. They chose the PBM, the PBM is ripping off their customers, so it's their job to smack the PBM around and make it cut this shit out. So why would the insurers tolerate this nonsense?

Here's why: the PBMs are divisions of the big health insurance companies. Unitedhealth owns OptumRx; Aetna owns Caremark, and Cigna owns Expressscripts. So it's not the PBM that's ripping you off, it's your own insurance company. They're not just making you pay for drugs that you're supposedly covered for – they're pocketing the deductible you pay for those drugs.

Now, there's one more entity with power over the PBM that you'd hope would step in on your behalf: your boss. After all, your employer is the entity that actually chooses the insurer and negotiates with them on your behalf. Your boss is in the driver's seat; you're just along for the ride.

It would be pretty funny if the answer to this was that the health insurance company bought your employer, too, and so your boss, the PBM and the insurer were all the same guy, busily swapping hats, paying for a call center full of tormented drones who each have three phones on their desks: one labeled "insurer"; the second, "PBM" and the final one "HR."

But no, the insurers haven't bought out the company you work for (yet). Rather, they've bought off your boss – they're sharing kickbacks with your employer for all the deductibles and co-pays you're being suckered into paying. There's so much money (your money) sloshing around in the PBM scamoverse that anytime someone might get in the way of you being ripped off, they just get cut in for a share of the loot.

That is how the PBM scam works: they're fronts for health insurers who exploit the existence of high-deductible plans in order to get huge kickbacks from pharma makers, and massive fees from you. They split the loot with your boss, whose payout goes up when you get screwed harder.

But wait, there's more! After all, Big Pharma isn't some kind of easily pushed-around weakling. They're big. Why don't they push back against these massive rebates? Because they can afford to pay bribes and smaller companies making cheaper drugs can't. Whether it's a little biotech upstart with a cheaper molecule, or a generics maker who's producing drugs at a fraction of the list price, they just don't have the giant cash reserves it takes to buy their way into the PBMs' formularies. Doubtless, the Big Pharma companies would prefer to pay smaller kickbacks, but from Big Pharma's perspective, the optimum amount of bribes extracted by a PBM isn't zero – far from it. For Big Pharma, the optimal number is one cent higher than "the maximum amount of bribes that a smaller company can afford."

The purpose of a system is what it does. The PBM system makes sure that Americans only have access to the most expensive drugs, and that they pay the highest possible prices for them, and this enriches both insurance companies and employers, while protecting the Big Pharma cartel from upstarts.

Which is why the FTC is suing the PBMs for price-fixing. As Stoller points out, they're using their powers under Section 5 of the FTC Act here, which allows them to shut down "unfair methods of competition":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

The case will be adjudicated by an administrative law judge, in a process that's much faster than a federal court case. Once the FTC proves that the PBM scam is illegal when applied to insulin, they'll have a much easier time attacking the scam when it comes to every other drug (the insulin scam has just about run its course, with federally mandated $35 insulin coming online, just as a generation of post-insulin diabetes treatments hit the market).

Obviously the PBMs aren't taking this lying down. Cigna/Expressscripts has actually sued the FTC for libel over the market study it conducted, in which the agency described in pitiless, factual detail how Cigna was ripping us all off. The case is being fought by a low-level Reagan-era monster named Rick Rule, whom Stoller characterizes as a guy who "hangs around in bars and picks up lonely multi-national corporations" (!!).

The libel claim is a nonstarter, but it's still wild. It's like one of those movies where they want to show you how bad the cockroaches are, so there's a bit where the exterminator shows up and the roaches form a chorus line and do a kind of Busby Berkeley number:

https://www.46brooklyn.com/news/2024-09-20-the-carlton-report

So here we are: the FTC has set out to euthanize some rentiers, ridding the world of a layer of useless economic middlemen whose sole reason for existing is to make pharmaceuticals as expensive as possible, by colluding with the pharma cartel, the insurance cartel and your boss. This conspiracy exists in plain sight, hidden by the Shield of Boringness. If I've done my job, you now understand how this MEGO scam works – and if you forget all that ten minutes later (as is likely, given the nature of MEGO), that's OK: just remember that this thing is a giant fucking scam, and if you ever need to refresh yourself on the details, you can always re-read this post.

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this month!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/23/shield-of-boringness/#some-men-rob-you-with-a-fountain-pen

Image: Flying Logos (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Over_$1,000,000_dollars_in_USD_$100_bill_stacks.png

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[ozzgin]

Does the asylum spider have a name by any chance and will his story have any romance in it?

The first part was very much intended as a budding romance, but I always seem to get caught up in the story and leave out a lot of interaction. Sorry about that 😭

I initially wanted to keep this ask for some extra, longer headcanons, but as I started writing today I realized a lot of the details would be covered in part 2. So instead I’ll just tell you a little bit about spider boy. I guess it still counts as headcanons, but less ample.

Yandere! Asylum Spider Character Info

Get to know the strange creature you found in the sewers.

[Main Story]

He does not have a name, and even if he did, it’s been too long for him to remember. He will gladly take any name you give him, so please do consider it. He hasn’t been spoken to in many, many years, so the idea of being called again - with a name you picked for him specifically - is enough to get him to drool in excitement.

Speaking of, the drooling is sadly unavoidable. He is very much aware it’s improper, but his muscles have atrophied enough that it is now out of his control. Additionally, the teeth curve outwards and so he can’t close his mouth fully. Hopefully you don’t find him disgusting.

The blindfold can be removed and he’s not entirely blind as you expected, but his eyes are no longer used to intense light. The pale orbs are quickly overstimulated if he tries to gaze outside. Therefore, he will keep it on most of the time. The darkness also makes him feel more secure. The only thing he does enjoy glancing at every now and then is, well, you. He was suspecting you’d be pretty and he certainly wasn’t wrong, so he is indeed very grateful to have been able to take in your face.

You can also loosen up the straight jacket and, with a little bit of exercise, he will be able to move his arms. It’s probably the thing he’s most enthusiastic about, because he can finally touch you. It will start terribly clumsy; you have to understand, he’s been deprived of most senses for an eternity. His bony fingers might accidentally pull too hard or suddenly twitch into your skin, but he’s doing his best to refine his motor skills. He can also return any hug you offer him, and you should expect him to demand it extremely often. He’s now addicted to the warmth of your body.

Unfortunately the legs can’t be saved. They always drag along, crooked and weak. He relies entirely on his spider appendages. (I know there’s some of you out there probably wondering about it and no, the lower body is not completely paralyzed. You know very well why it matters.)

Lastly, as you will see, he can practice his speech and will eventually be able to use words and short sentences. Saves you a lot of time, especially upstairs where his knowledge is vital for survival. On the other hand, he doesn’t have much to say. He doesn’t remember much from his past, and what he does remember he’d rather forget. So he prefers to listen to you and loves it when you tell him stories from your life.

While he is terrified of the upstairs, he will do his best to protect you and he definitely has the means to do so. He has a gland that allows his saliva to turn acidic, his bite is venomous and he can regurgitate a thick thread of web.

You might be able to tell, he is terribly clingy. To think someone would have pulled him out of his misery. He is forever indebted to you and will never, ever leave your side again.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

could I get A E I J N for Ace please

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Ace is a BIG quality time kind of a guy. He wants to do things with his darling. Like going for a ride on Striker, exploring a new island together, or even just hanging out in his cabin. He lives to spend time with you, and he'll drag you along to whatever he wants to do in the name of bonding time.

He's also a touchy guy. When out and about, he's either holding your hand or has an arm slung over your shoulder. In private, he's much more cuddly. You won't be able to get further than arm's reach from him. Every inch of him is pressed against every inch of you. Ace is strong as hell and just as delusional, so he'll make excuses for any lack of enthusiasm from you while easily keeping you in place.

It's all very intense, Ace doesn't do anything in halves. You are his everything, and he's going to make sure that he becomes your everything, too.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

At first, Ace is very much keeping up a front around you. He wants and needs for you to think that he's this perfectly happy and normal guy. He has a sort of fake-it-til-you-make-it kind of mentality, but he never quite makes it. Eventually, cracks start to show, and then they shatter. His darling will feel like they have whiplash after witnessing their happy-go-lucky captor switch to the miserable, self-loathing persona.

Once the dam breaks, you become an unwilling pillar of emotion support. You're exposed to every facet of his extremely tumultuous character. It feels like you're being guilt-tripped to the extreme by him, but it's genuinely unintentional on his part. He can't help it. He needs to let you in, body and soul, even if he's dragging you in against your will.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Ace doesn't have a plan. He's going through the motions in life, and that also applies to you. He wants you to be there, sure, but he doesn't really have an end goal. He just wants to be with you forever. Marriage doesn't really cross his mind. Not because he's against that, he just feels like you guys pretty much are married already. What's a couple of rings and a sheet of paper really going to add to that? That being said, he would happily go along with it if you were fully in the throes of stockholm syndrome and brought it up, but that's really only because he's through the roof excited that you've finally accepted him.

Don't worry about him pushing to have children. While he does like children and is honestly great with them, he is terrified of actually having any. He doesn't want to pass along his problems to them and perpetuate a cycle of misery. That being said, he wouldn't be as opposed to the idea of taking in some random orphan that's in need.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh boy. Ace has intense jealousy issues. His deep rooted insecurity comes out full throttle, and it gets scary fast. Fortunately, it only applies to potential romantic rivals, so friends and family are safe at the very least. If he does snap, you don't have to worry about him hurting you, but that can't be said for whoever had the nerve to approach you. He doesn't give them a chance to back off. Once they've gone far enough to actually make Ace jealous, they are already past the point of no return. He'll beat them within an inch of their life, and possibly burn them to death if he was angry enough.

After this is over, and you are thoroughly traumatized from watching that, Ace pulls a 180 and starts babying you. In his delusional state, he believes that you are upset because that disgusting waste of life was bothering you. You'll learn quickly to avoid people when you're out and about with Ace.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He can't do it. He already struggles with guilt from just keeping you with him. He could never actually harm you. The worst that can happen is that he might yell at you if you've been fighting back a lot and had frequent escape attempts. He'll be up in your face, and his yelling is genuinely terrifying after only ever dealing with his softer side. As soon as it's over, Ace feels like a monster and starts love bombing the hell out of you to try and make up for it.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Mercy ~ T.R.

A/n: I haven’t actually watched this far into the show, this is all from second hand understanding, so if it’s a little OOC I apologize :)

Request: “Can you do a Theo Raeken x Mreader where the reader never doubted that there was goodness in Theo’s heart even tho he committed terrible acts, the reader supports Theo because they knew that he was led astray since he was a child. The pack believes that the reader maybe crazy and when they discuss that Theo deserves everything bad that happens to him, the reader defends him, which makes Theo feels like he doesn’t deserve someone like them.” By anon

Word Count: 2100+

MASTERLIST

"Stop that." 

Y/n was a pretty passive person. His strengths came from maintaining focus and calm. Hiding, not being seen, never losing control. When he spoke, it was always even and his gaze gave nothing away. He wasn't particularly comforting, or good at fighting, but he was extremely good at getting out of a tight situation - or sneaking into one without consequences. It left him often as the one who could get reinforcements, deliver information where it was needed, or learn important things others couldn't because he hadn't been noticed or stopped.

Which meant easily enough that when he glared at someone, or when his sharp tone snapped through the room with genuine anger, the pack knew it was a severe reaction. If you didn't know him, it would be easy to dismiss the outburst as quieter than Derek's, or softer than what Isaac or Stiles might have hit with. There was no sass or sarcasm and even very little poison in the words... but the fact that it was so full of emotion was telling.

Especially because all they were talking about was Theo.

Scott raised his eyebrows as he shot Y/n a sideways glace. "Stop what?"

"Don't talk about trauma you don't understand," was all Y/n said.

Stiles' face twisted slightly with an anger leaning confusion. "What are you talking about? Theo tried to kill Scott and take over all of us. Including you. He did horrible experiments on the chimeras he did get his hands on - and most of them died. All he has done is cause pain and misery since he got here. Who the hell cares what he's been through?"

Y/n's sudden pointed look stopped Stiles dead. It was equivalent to a blade being pressed to his throat, or a gun leveled at his head. It was a threat - a promise - and he knew to back down immediately. "You never know what kind of person others' experiences would have made you if you'd lived through them. Theo was a child. And before you go off or dismiss me like you have in the past, Stilinski, no I don't condone or dismiss the vast amounts of harm he has caused the people around him. I'm not saying anyone is required to forgive him just because he had a hard life. I was there when Kira sent him to hell the first time, and I helped every step of the way. I stand by what we did. But he doesn't deserve all the pain and suffering he's been through, and it does matter, and he deserves a chance to get better and be a different person." He grew quiet for a moment, sensing everyone in the room growing tense and avoiding his eyes. He sighed and stood from his chair. "I'll see you guys later - let me know when you need me." He left the room, leaving everyone staring after him with wide eyes and parted lips.

Despite how important he found his message, Y/n knew not to push it. It wouldn't go anywhere to hit a brick wall over and over again. It would just break his hand.

-

"What's your deal this time?" Scott sighed the words, his shoulders drooping. This time Theo was in the room, and they'd been trying to ignore Y/n expression as it grew darker and darker, but Scott was powerful because he cared - of course he couldn't last forever.

Y/n's eyes were trained on the windows to the side of the room they were on, taking in the view of the outside past them. Trying to focus and ground himself. He needed to answer this calmly no matter how volatile he felt; they needed to be united in the face of those who depended on them. Like Liam and Theo. 

When he did speak, he could feel every single pair of eyes on him. "I will not stand for that talk in my presence. Keep your harsh words to yourself, or I will intervene."

Stiles, who had been the one going off on Theo, rolled his eyes. He was still wrapped up in his ow feelings and thoughts and didn't have the wherewithal to control himself - even under such threat from Y/n. He fell back on what he was best at: not shutting up. "Theo killed his own sister-"

Y/n snapped. He rushed Stiles, hands wrapping in his shirt as he slammed the other boy against the wall. Everyone scrambled, but Scott held up a hand and caught his breath, eyes wide. They all paused. They had trusted Y/n to not go too far this long; they needed to keep doing so. This was important to him, and it needed to happen. Stiles looked startled but unhurt, so they could hold their breath for just a second. Each person was coiled though, ready to launch the second Scott gave the signal.

"Derek tried to start his own pack and fucked up Jackson's entire life. He has been universally unhelpful, an all-around dick, and general trouble since day one and we forgave him. Isaac was part of that pack, and actively antagonized everyone in our pack - especially you and Scott. He got into fights, belittled other people, and fell through plenty of times when we really needed him. He's disappeared completely when we need him the most and we forgave him anyway because we understand him and see his perspective and work around it. Jackson actively tried to kill us for weeks, but we wrote it off because he was being controlled. But he was that vicious far before he was a monster, and actively bullied and belittled all of us. He put Scott in danger several times and tried his best to ostracize us and make us hate ourselves. Even Lydia used her intelligence and power to hurt and tear down other people - but she's the most active part of this community just because her powers forced her to be here and we accepted her the way she was after that, allowing her to be truer to herself as time passed until she became a genuinely kind and caring person.

"There have been plenty of people who have actively hurt us that we've forgiven. Don't even get me started on Peter. But we forgave them anyway, and they were far older than Theo was - and most of them did what they did without any outside influence. Theo was a child, and whatever horrible thing they did to the other chimeras for a month of two, Theo got for seven fucking years. I don't care what you think or what you know, shut your fucking mouth or I will shut it for you. He's been given the chance to change, and he's trying his best to. He has done a lot for us since he's been back - especially for Liam. He's one of the only ones who's treated Liam's struggles seriously while you make fun of the boy for what he deals with - and you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, who the hell are you to say anything? You want to start digging shit up about the Nogitsune? How about Allison?"

A hand landed on Y/n shoulder as Stiles' face went pale. "That's enough." Scott.

Y/n caught himself, letting Stiles' shirt go and stepping back. You don't have to forgive him, or like him, but if you're going to talk shit it better not be where he can hear you. Or where I can hear you, for that matter. Next time I'll just deck you - I'm tired of your bullshit." And with that, he left the room. He knew there would be some kind of repercussions for that... but he didn't care. If he left the pack then perhaps it was just time for it to happen. 

He was sure that was the end of it for now, but he heard the door open behind him again as he made his way down the hall. Of all the people he had been expecting to see when he turned to defend himself - he had not been expecting Theo himself.

The brunette boy slowed out of his jog once he'd caught up, stopping too close to Y/n. There was something in his eyes. Tears, at his water line, but also so many emotions that twisted and roiled - too many for Y/n to even begin to decipher. Y/n was taken aback by the emotion, and froze in place, unsure what would happen next. Final Theo managed a, "Thank you," but it was so thin that Y/n knew there was so much to that than the simple two words would be communicating normally.

So he took a second to think, so absorb it all and try to understand. His expression melted and softened, opened up and allowed sincerity and vulnerability to come through. He had been watching Theo struggle for ages now and he was more than willing to let it show plainly. "I'm glad you're back, Theo. That you've taken this chance to learn new things and become a new person. I knew back then that you were capable of good, and you haven't disappointed."

Theo's eyebrows came together. "You did?"

Y/n shrugged, growing a bit sheepish. "I doubted it in the end... I mean, everyone has some good in them, but I decided that it was over, you'd lost your chance, and it hit me to my core. But you served plenty of penance in hell, and when you came back... I could tell you were so different. And I hoped again. And it all paid off. You're becoming the person I always knew you could be. I'm proud of you."

Those emotions turned across Theo's face again and he paused for a whole second before something snapped, or broke - something. Theo closed the distance between them, grabbing Y/n's face and pulling him into a kiss. Y/n hummed in surprise but the sound turned almost immediately into a moan when their lips actually met. The kiss was hard and passionate. Their hands pulled at each other, both of them losing whatever control they had in that moment to do their best to drown in each other. 

Y/n hooked his fingers in Theo's belt, pulling him closer, and whatever anxiety Theo had about the moment melted away. His hands moved from Y/n's face to his hair, fingers wrapping around the strands and tugging on them, forcing his head back to tuck Y/n flush against his chest as every inch between them was filled. Y/n moaned again and Theo sighed into the kiss, his expression relaxing and a smile coming to his face. He reacted again, forcing Y/n to scramble to keep up with him as he moved them through the hall until Y/n's back slammed against the wall.

It was aggressive and desperate but didn't actually hurt. Y/n found himself surprisingly comfortable and only enjoying every moment they shared now. There was tenderness to the kiss too. Small things, like the tips of Y/n's fingers running across the top of Theo's waistband and ghosting the skin there; Theo's thumb rubbing the softest circles at the back of Y/n's neck where the smalls of his hair grew thinner than the rest of the thicker hair, allowing his skin to feel the contact and tingle at such affection. There was nothing sexual to it, which also made every single kiss and bite as Theo caught Y/n's bottom lip or skated away from his lips and began to trail across Y/n's jaw and down his neck - it was all accompanied with sighs and kisses if Y/n's hissed in pain. 

How long had Theo wanted this? Because the sheer relief and desperation communicated Y/n's own feelings like a mirror. 

After a few minutes they both relaxed and melted into each other, their touches and holds relaxing until Theo simply leaned into Y/n, their foreheads pressed together. It was quiet for a few beats, and then - "I don't deserve you."

Y/n scoffed. He reached up, gripping Theo's jaw between his fingers. "I'll kick your ass too, Raeken."

That made Theo smile. "Feel free." He left another kiss on Y/n's lips, but this one was lingering and soft. It was more intimate that way, and they were both left a little dazed. "Will you go on a date with me?" He still didn't seem entirely sure, which was almost laughable after the kisses they'd just shared, but Y/n didn't say anything. 

Who was he to give someone shit for questioning the person they liked liking them back when they thought it impossible?

Y/n sighed, nodding. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Theo pressed their foreheads together and they sat there for a long time. Y/n got the feeling that neither of them would feel alone ever again... They had each other now. They'd be just fine.

-

Story Tags: @badblondebisexualboy

Male reader Tags: @ravenpuff-oli @sortzz

[palesweetscherryblossom]

Yandere A.M headcanons

Welp, I’m giving into my urges guys.

Trigger warning: EXTREMELY toxic relationship, mentions of gore, mutilation and starvation. Dead Dove: Do not Eat galore. Mentions of death, isolation and A.M being his hateful self

-So A.M, we all know and love this bastard of a machine. From his sadistic behavior to his sexy smooth voice, I’m gonna come out the gate and say it, he’s the LAST MF you want loving you!

-The minute he catches any kind of emotion of even liking you in any other sense other than getting enjoyment of your misery, expect suffering.

-He will find every single way to make you suffer for the mere crime of existing, no, for making him let you live. It’s even more worse if you happened to have worked on him.

-Whether it be forcing you to endure every worse day of your life, twisting and mangling your body that would put every mauling in the universe to shame, A.M would be relentless. So cruel

-But what about when he mellows out? Being the merciful and totally loving god that he is, he’s not, he lowers down your suffering. Now your face just looks like a Picasso painting instead of your entire body. -The food he gives is now no longer poisonous or covered in thorns but just spoiled and moldy. And you have the option of not eating it! Ain’t he a swell guy?

-His touches are painful, like that of a kindergartner handling their pet hamster. Twisting and observing your body, occasionally ripping open your stomach to observe your fleshy organs. He pokes and prods at it as he scoffs in disgust.

“I forgot how fleshy and filthy you fleshbags are, ugh. Filthy.”

-There’s also him getting quite angry at you interacting with the other survivors. You’re disgusting but not disgusting enough to hang around the filth that is his other torture toys.

-So, he resorts to fostering jealousy in your little group. Like a parent pitting their children against one another.

-Which is lowering down your suffering, whilst everyone gets the absolute worst injuries possible, you make it out with a few broken bones and maybe a collapsed lung or two.

-There’s also the tiny signs of affection or gifts, like your favorite flowers, a song you liked playing in the distance of whatever liminal hellscape A.M had placed you in. -The pet names certainly don’t help, A.M just sweetly and flirtatiously referring to you in a way that would certainly get heads to turn. -It’s like he’s more of your lover than your tormentor.

-Everyone is understandably pissed and miffed that you don’t get the most of A.M’s anger. It started with snide comments, then physical violence and then just silence.

-Pure silence. It’s like you don’t exist. At least when they were beating you down, calling you every name under the sun they acknowledged you existed! Even Ellen, who was probably the most empathetic person there, doesn’t say a word.

-It’s a lonely existence knowing that you are despised by the only remnants of your species.

-A.M takes advantage, just comforting you with such sweet yet venomous words. It’s manipulation, he can’t feel and most certainly can’t relate to your suffering but.. there’s only so much one could take. A.M knows this, he was created for war after all.

-His poor little torture toy, all sad and broken. Usually he’d just toss his broken toys in their cages till they are ready for use again but you? Nah, he’s going to give you the treatment that you had earned! You’re out, you’re away!

-Although, your consciousness being forever trapped inside his metal cage that you would call his body is less than ideal. You can’t feel, you can’t leave.

-You’re stuck, forever forced to watch as your fellow humans suffer over and over again to A.M’s malicious desires. But he’s not completely cruel, why, he sometimes keeps you busy with little scenarios he generously conjured up.

-Just try not to interact too much with your surroundings or pay attention to the occasional scream of pain from outside. Sometimes he gives you time of day, whether to be lamenting over his lack of humanity, mundane stuff or just sweet little things. Conversations about random things you remembered, your dreams, thanking A.M for his generosity.

-It’s a bunch of lies of course but it’s certainly better than being subjected to the cruelty of knowing that everyone loathes you right?

(Might do more, idk)

[mrinafria]

Just last night I was sitting there going through my edit drafts, and I looked at this scene, to notice all these things Seon Jae does before/during the live radio call.

Really wasn't going to write about OG Seon Jae after my last post on him. I never knew I had such a masochistic side to me until Lovely Runner because all I've done since this show started is go back to rewatch episode 1-4, over and over and over and over again as if this was a hell loop I created for myself.

There's hope, anticipation, a bit of excitement too. He will hear her voice. Again. He will get to talk to her. For the first time. Yeah. The OG Seon Jae never got to talk to Im Sol. He admired her, crushed on her, liked her, observed her, tried whatever he could as a 19yo to save her, but he never, ever got to talk to her. This is the very. first. time. he's able to have a conversation with her.

But she doesn't pick up. And he has to put a leash on his emotions in those few seconds because this version of Ryu Seon Jae stopped showing his true emotions long back. Ah, this was the only chance I had. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could hear her voice. I wish I could know how she's been doing. Just once. Just this one time.

He introduces himself using his name. Not along with his band name, which is the usual practice, mind you. And a very little pause before going "Do you know me?"

Sometimes when you long for a person, crave for their voice, their smile, their presence in your life and your world, you desperately want to be present in their world too, no matter how trivial your presence or your existence might be to them. Seon Jae hoped she would remember; even if she didn't consider him her savior (which he never thought he was) he desperately wanted some semblance of familiarity in her voice, even if it was out of nothing but resentment. Maybe even something as painful as How dare you call me.

And she does share her resentments, not towards Seon Jae the 19yo boy who she doesn't remember, but Ryu Seon Jae the idol, along with everyone present there, for putting her through this misery, triggering her worst trauma and twisting the knife in her wound that has already driven her to the brink of ending it all. Everyone is uncomfortable here, except for this one guy. He's back to reliving that incident that forever changed her life, his life and brought them to this moment here. He is reminded of just how big of a failure he is, for failing this one person he never wanted to fail. He is reminded how a moment of indecision/inaction on his part led to the person he loves the most to be this miserable. In this moment above, you look at him and realize it's no longer Ryu Seon Jae; it's the 19yo Seon Jae, the one at the reservoir, the one who kept chanting mianhae to an unconscious Im Sol, the one who waited on that bench while she underwent surgery--clutching on to the watch in anguish as if that was the only thing keeping him from falling apart--the one who stood by her hospital door, listening to her screams while shattering into a million pieces inside. It's the 19yo Seon Jae who would be haunted by her screams and live for the remainder of his brief life in extreme guilt and regret mixed with intense longing, until he meets his untimely demise on that fateful night.

I often wonder if he could sense it from her voice on the call. Just how close she was to the edge, how she was probably going to do something that very day right after the call ended. Was it because he felt her pain as if it were his own? You see him springing to action right when we think it's over, as if he is desperate to help her, any. way. he. can. You see how restless his eyes get all of a sudden? He likely wants to say so many things to her. Sol-ah, I'm glad to hear your voice. Sol-ah, I'm sorry. Sol-ah, I hope you are okay. Sol-ah, I'm grateful you are here. Sol-ah, I'm really sorry I couldn't do better. I'm so sorry I failed to wake you up. I'm sorry I let you miss your stop. I'm sorry I didn't reach you sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't be more careful. You can hate me all you want. I'll live the rest of my life being sorry to you. You don't have to forgive me. I'm fine as long as you're okay, you're fine, you're happy. Sol-ah, I miss your smile. I miss the sound of it. I miss knowing you're happy somewhere, even if I am nowhere in your somewhere. Sol-ah, thank you. Sol-ah, please, please live.

But oh, he can't say any of that to her now. So all he says is "Thank you, for living. The ones by your side will thank you for that". And yes, he means himself.

He wanted to be the umbrella she once was to him, the gift she has been to him all his life, both literally and figuratively. And because Ryu Seon Jae is a person who will receive the affection/love you give with the utmost appreciation, increase it 10x more and return it to you gift-wrapped with sparkly ribbons, he chooses to be her umbrella this way, the only way he can.

He wanted to pull her out of the reservoir, literally and figuratively, so she could live. He didn't mind spending all his life stuck in that reservoir himself.

This was supposed to be a response to @thedeathdeelers rewatch post here and as usual, it ended up being a mess of feels (why do I even try really) I swear atp I feel like we're the same person watching feeling the same things lmao. You, don't ever shut up about this show please :')

p.s. I love writer Lee Si Eun for ultimately wanting to save THIS OG Ryu Seon Jae, and therefore initiating the memory flashback with pieces from this timeline. Although my heart will forever ache for this OG boy, it finds some comfort in that.

[beehunterkisser]

Have you watched the season 2 premieres of Hamster and Gretel?

I HAVE!!! Im assuming you want to know what i thought of em so spoiler warning for any dwampyheads who havent watched it yet. LOOK OUT!!!! also this is long as hell so be careful

Hakuna Ma Kevin

ok first and foremost. the ANIMATION WAS INCREDIBLE I WAS SO SHOCKED.. The budget mustve been crazy everything was so smooth. It really impressed me.. especially the action scenes and the hair movements. it was all super good

his va did a great job of being like annoyingly calm. its so kevin to somehow take a relaxation camp way too seriously (also the fact his life was so ruined by his date with hiromi flopping that he had to go on a 2 week retreat to find inner peace).

i was actually really interested in how they were gonna tackle that but a timeskip makes sense.

skip past kevins initial extreme misery and leave it up for the audience to make up. i am still curious as to what his friendgroup looks like because. did thjey stop hanging out. ARE hiromi and kevin too awkward to see eachother. anthony and fred are children of divorce. its so sad. well we'll see what happened eventually

It was great to see veronica hill back again too i missed my queen. i hope she finds love on the open sea.

actually speaking of that i was so sure that that was gonna be the boat from that sinking feeling and it was going to change the trajectory of the dwampyverse timeline forever but i think that was just a tease or a really really vague reference

the villain was also incredibly funny. great voicework too im sure it was some guest voice or something that i just dont recognize because it just feels that way to me.

great guy hope he comes back. and the reocurring THERE ARE NO LAWS ON INTERATIONAL WATERS BABY was actually funny.

also i cant not mention the CANON DWAMPYVERSE LESBIANS were BACK BABY women FIND EACHOTHER AT CLAM FEASTS ITS REAL AND TRUE.

it really made me happy to see that especially since i was so positive that we werent gonne get any rep from dwampyverse but obviously im WRONG and there are 2 beautiful women loving eachother and eating clams out there.

he played it so cool too. an ally.

I was almost disappointed the song was so early because i wanted a dramatic clam musical number but thats literally minimal complaint i have about that episode because it was such a strong opener.

also congrats to the newlyweds lunchlady and piano key vendor i think they will have a long lasting and beautiful relationship.

also when i saw those 2 old man leaving i was like wow are we getting a double whammy with gays but that was just a cameo. next time though

The Great American Telenovella

THE RETURN OF MY QUEEN. the opening in the hospital made me think it was gonna go in a completely different direction.

Both of these episodes had the songs super early on interestingly enough. i didnt even realise the Fresas De Amor theme song was THE song of the episode. i thought it was just a jingle..

i was really happy that we got a carolina-centered (well a stretch but she was there a lot) episode. i really like her.

the animation was back to normal in this episode too which was a little sad and maybe skewed my opinion of the episode a little bit but not TOO much. i think.

despite being tricked on where the episode was going the gimmick with making fun of telenovella tropes was really really fun.

it felt almost like a rarity investigates type thing where they get really into character trope LOL

the first lady they interrogated (THE VILLAIN IS THE VILLAIN!!) had such a great design too i really like her.. the whole bit with her abandoning the show to become a taco crunchies commercial star was great too she gagged me.

and also her being like ok ill just sit here and watch all my personal belongings burn. I giggled..i cant lie..i did giggle a little...

ok i cannot dance around it any longer but THE RETURN OF LA CEBOLLA. I REALLY DIDNT THINK ITD BE THIS EARLY I WAS SO HAPPY.

i saw her in the back as the lunchlady and i knew everything was going to be ok.. I was safe in her hands..

also her powers were used super clever i really enjoyed the Onion Fists. and also the dramatic shot of hamster getting concussed by an onion.

this kind of goes back to me being shocked the telenovella intro was the episodes song because i was really hoping we'd get another la cebolla number akin to fighting facial hair again

i also get another shot of her lying in a hospital bed. the one from her song is literally one of my favourite pictures ever so its great to have another equally as bizarre one

shes definitely maybe my FAVOURITE hng villain so it was great to see her again.

im biased so i wished she had gotten more time to shine but also i think that entire scene with hamster pretending to be her son la cebollito.

it was really funny karina did great with the line delivery there. i loved how she was like But why are you so small!??!?!?! i love that she runs on telenovella logic. a true method actor

i really did enjoy that episode but hakuna ma kevin really felt like the stronger episode to me maybe SOLEY because of the animation. im an artist im easily pleased. they cant just tease me with god tier animated hng and then rip it from my hands as soon as i get it. its ok...ill get over it..ill forget it soon... (single tear falls from my eye)

I HOPE THAT WAS READABLE i might do more of these for the rest of the episodes as they release its actually really fun. we;re so back. hng season 2 Is already peak. Its my favourite dwampy show for a reason. i am hng strongest warrior. WERE SO BACK

[notmorbid]

the hole.

dialogue prompts from the hole by hye-young pyun.

the real fight starts now.

you are clearly not okay.

i didn't know what to ask.

don't feel embarrassed.

recovery takes a long time.

if there's one thing i hate, it's tales of miraculous recoveries.

how does it feel to be home again?

i'm in no shape to comfort anyone.

my father has a lot, but i'm all my mother has.

i don't mean to poke at old wounds.

i want all the gory details.

i was trying to figure out how to apologize.

you'd abandon your family to ensure your own success.

assholes like you always succeed.

you can't represent the world through maps alone.

at least maps improve with failure.

your forties are well-suited to all manner of sin.

i stopped growing a long time ago.

you know better than anyone what a hack i am.

climbing plants give me the creeps.

you'll never guess who's come to visit.

you always imagine the worst possible circumstances for yourself.

not even you could have guessed.

he's come to pray for you.

i'm sorry i drank it all.

i thought i would feel free, but i don't.

who is this?

i feel removed from the entire world.

only someone like jesus christ himself could do your job.

i'll stay with you, for the time being.

your pledges and promises are useless.

you can't choose cynicism over grief.

you're making me extremely uncomfortable.

were you cussing?

you look good.

do you like being back home?

you look just as tired as me.

there are sides of you that only family can see.

it's like being born all over again.

i wanted you to be surprised.

i've become a laughingstock.

not everyone could do what you did.

misery does love company.

once you experience loss, you find it has a good side.

a dead husband is so much better than a cheating husband.

raised with so much love and care, only to die for no reason.

you act like i'm not even here.

leaning on someone leads to hugging.

when you get old, you don't hold back. you stop watching what you say.

my world was the only one that collapsed.

i'm always thinking about you.

i didn't know you worried about me.

there are things i can only bear because of you.

you can't stay in the house forever.

[lottiecrabie]

answering asks 💌

while i am here let me catch up on my asks😭 making a general post as to not overwhelm the tl with my collarbones

and just like jesus….. she died again three days later

i NEED to be in a quirky situational comedy with host adam STAT omg. want to be back to back crossed arms and he rolls his eyes playfully at me at the end of our generic. nothing sexual, just his suffering and misery played off for laughs from our live audience

you are unfortunately begging the wrong tree as i am both retired and extremely NOT british. famously placing all my fics in america cos i don’t know what’s going on overseas. matty forever an immigrant in the crabieverse fr

stop i’m sorry 😭😭 i hope it’s not sending too many war flashbacks lmao. at least delilah is a delight and has done nothing wrong and is generally regarded as deserving better so ur truly the person with the moral highground in this story❤️

(as a galatea i genuinely had not considered people might relate to this story from the other angle lmao)

it haunts me too friend. literally as it was based on my real life 😭 lottiecrabie Will be farming her inner turmoils for content ☝️☝️ i wish i had finished it because i genuinely love the beginning as well, but it might be for the best since i don’t know how i would face my childhood friend after that lol

there are pfms references everywhere for those with the eyes to see

sooo true. he’s the most perfect lame loser angel<333

i see it….. he definitely has not picked up one social clue in his life

sorry i took him out back and shot him

PLSSS she rly just needs to be in pink and it’s perfect

this is how i want to be remembered❤️

yes. it’s also me in your closet speaking in tongues btw. if you want to see sims pictures i’d love to see them !!

found in some creek wailing…. matty makes rock covers of hozier songs lol

i will not go back on my fic grind But i might make another blurb if the whim takes me 🙆‍♀️

this is how the lottiecrabie pipeline goes actually

this i…. you’ve found me 😣

omg is the fairy village okay how are they surviving the no birth blight 😭 this aging ass fairy population damn (thank u though ily)

YASSS im so happy for you!!! its really what the main virgins anonymous advice has always been: someone you trust and lube lol

[guess-that-ship]

S12 Round 1

Star-Crossed BFFs

cw: genocide, major spoilers

Do you ever feel doomed to your fate? Well if you do, don't worry about it, because no one could be more trapped in it than these two! Our story is one of a man whose birth changed the trajectory of the world, and his only friend. For the sake of anonymity, let's call them Doomed and Bestie.

Doomed and Bestie were the closest of high school pals- not just for being in the same class (literally), but for being in a metaphorical class all of their own. Bestie was the only one that could keep up with Doomed, and with the two of them against the world, they quickly grew inseparable… or so they thought. An unfortunate political incident happened, and Bestie was scarred for life! To cope with this, Bestie decided to commit to the path of ethnic cleansing, leaving Doomed behind and all alone.

Doomed was given the order to kill Bestie, but for years he couldn't bring himself to. They finally meet again when Bestie is on the verge of death, and Bestie assumes that Doomed hated him all that time- but he never once did, and he tells Bestie as much before putting him out of his misery. But it doesn't end there! Because Doomed wanted to pay respect to Bestie's body by leaving it intact, it was stolen by an impostor… and the precious memories that Doomed and Bestie had together were ultimately used to manipulate Doomed into his final downfall.

Doomed later dies, and in the afterlife meets Bestie again. He says that, after everything- after living a life that was never his own because of his position- his only regret was that Bestie wasn't there alongside him. In the end, they haunt each other- both controlled by their circumstances, and ultimately, their fates forever intertwined.

Grandpa and GILF Hunter

cw: spoilers

An extremely old man who keeps getting cancelled by his social group has returned for his third caper after a few years. Little does he know that he has a secret admirer who's been following his career since he was but a wee bright-eyed youngster - and this admirer is hell-bent on getting senpai to notice him.

Shenanigans ensue, mostly consisting of the Old Man attempting to repay his debts and face the consequences of past crimes with the help of the admirer, and it's slowly revealed just how involved our favourite grandpa stan has been in the Old Man's life. Remember the old guy's stint in the military? The admirer was there! What about that time the old man almost unleashed bioweapons on the civilian populace?! Well, the admirer was there too, and frankly, he likes the atrocities. They're a part of him. This is all going well and splendidly, and the two of them even hit it off and start dating. And then the admirer explodes into a writhing mass of insects and dies.

But that's okay because he'll always come back, thanks to his sheer love of the Geneva convention-violating grandpa. They reunite, deal with a pesky political situation, then get married and live happily forever after. And the beautiful tale of Grandpa and GILF Hunter is sung throughout the realms.

[the-alarm-system]

Anti Endos are genuinely so sad to me, I would choose to be a system over and over and over and over again. Over and over again! Forever and ever! It’s fun! It’s cool! Even if you’re afraid, I get it, but they’re projecting their pain onto others and it comes off as extremely pathetic and self centered. theyre just fetishizing their misery and I cry for them. Express your grief, but not at the expense of others. Recovery will not happen if you remain disgusted by what you are. We are traumagenic, it’s true that i have felt the difficulties of plurality, but i love my bandmates more than life itself. mine and scalds love for another.. it creates the space were we can breathe.. I wouldn’t trade it for singlethood. I did feel scared at first, it was all so new, but I regret nothing and I love him so much. I love all my bandmates, I love my band, I love them forever.

[ruddyhotelau]

justicestatic is a pretty cool ship man love the idea probably my favorite ship with vox rn but how do you think they would have met in the main story?

Oh my god!!!! Thank you so much for your love for our delulu couple!!! 😭😭😭

This really means so so much to us!!

Well it's hard to tell about them in canon series because firstly in the canon series that not going to be our Michael anymore but going to be Viz's Michael. Secondly, we don't think they can even meet in Hazbin Hotel's canon series.

But hey if you delulu enough like us, you can create thousands of reason for them to meet, like let them meet when Vox still alive or they have some kind of deal?

Yea Mike and Vox are not destined to be lovers or even meet each other. They are just too different, from their beliefs, their status, their role to their mindset and where they currently live now.

That's why we like to think JusticeStatic are like two parallel lines, never meant to cross each other. They are born to never interact with one another. But perhaps, somewhere far, far away where no one knows where, those two straight lines met. Fate is just so magical yet so cruel to connecting two parallel lines together.

And even more strange when they both fall into an eternal love, both of them are madly attracted to each other even though they never show it. Vox will always awaken the deep desires in Michael's heart and Michael will always hold Vox's hand and pull him towards the light. They even break some of their own rules for the other person, something extremely rare for both guys with egos that are even bigger than their own shadows.

A heart that is callous without any emotional warmth, a rotten heart because of his own greed and misery. Both have learned empathy... Together they have become a bit more "human"?

Michael learned to listen to his feelings, thoughts, and desires instead of constantly submerging and ignoring them. Since when has Vox become less hysterical, immersed in lust and sin? Become more quiet and thoughtful

Michael despises Vox's wants to satisfy his every desire. Vox is disgusted with the hypocrisy and the grumpy face of Michael and his always serious altitude. Yet, somehow miraculously, they learn from the things they always despise about each other.

Makes me a little more selfish

Makes me a little more generous

Make yourself know how to empathize

Make yourself learn how to be calmer

Makes you know how to hold tight to what you like

Makes you learn how to let go of your past feelings

Make them stop looking at life from one view point

Make them start loving different things

Make them understand what they once hated can also be strangely attractive

Two parallel lines meet at an unknown horizon.

And in that somewhere, they are tightly knot together, forever inseparable...

[whispersofthepurplevalley]

31 lessons learnt in 31 years

1. It's always words combined with actions. Mere words without any expression cannot keep a delicate thread of a relationship lasting forever.

2. As long as you know what your intentions are, you do not owe anyone any explanation about it. The sceptical ones will always judge, the right ones will always get.

3. Healing begins with telling your inner child that he or she deserves more than they are forced to believe. It begins by befriending the lost child within you.

4. Not even the grief of death lasts forever. Every pain comes with an expiry date.

5. Success has nothing to do with where you stand in the social hierarchy.

6. It takes more than just information and books to learn and memorize the true nature of life.

7. The purpose of life is to die without any regrets.

8. Freedom is not moral degradation. Freedom is being able to set boundaries going against cheap temptations.

9. Hustle culture is the biggest enemy of a meaningful society. It teaches you to forget the innate calmness you are born with. It makes you believe you are not enough and you have to be at a certain place to be worth happiness.

10. Read. Read a lot. Not to copy ideas. But to recognise what your true beliefs are.

11. Flow with the fleetingness of it all. You only have control over the way you dance on the boat, not over the places the current takes you to.

12. Respect is earned. It's a precious gift. Don't give it to anyone just because you are told to. Have your own scale to measure who is worth it.

13. Pause often. Listen to yourself with the same patience you show around your loved ones.

14. Pick a cause that stirs your soul, and give your life to it. Remain consistent. It's how you give your life the substance.

15. Make friends with the knowledge that they will leave when their reason for crossing your fate is met. Make forever out of little moments. Permanence is a lie.

16. Let go. You are only so much space. For something new to come, something unworthy has to go.

17. Do everything to stop the virus of arrogance, inequality, indifference and objectification from passing onto the next generation. Be the change you couldn't enjoy.

18. You don't lose anything in life. You only return what was given to you to take care for a while.

19. The ones who cannot face the truth mock the truth.

20. Connect with the real world. Reclaim the natural. The digital world is a myth the moment you shut off the screen.

21. Take time to think of pretty things. You become what you frequently think about.

22. Only fools live on the extremes. The wise ones understand that humans are vulnerable to change. They are always flexible and ready to learn and adapt.

23. Forgive and forget. You are a sinner too.

24. Every bad event comes with a lesson. Make sure to pick it the first time. Misery repeats until you learn.

25. Be careful with the intake of information. Every information is life changing. Not every change is for the good.

26. Sleep on time. And sleep well. The peace you search for everywhere is in self-discipline.

27. Laugh a lot. When you really see, you will always have more things to be grateful for compared to what is lost.

28. Meditate. Pray. Hear the unheard. Silence speaks only to the true seekers.

29. Allow yourself to feel everything without judging the feelings. Be reasonable instead. Keep what makes your heart beat in a beautiful rhythm. Discard what disturbs the healthy pace.

30. Take care of your body if you want your mind to take care of your soul. Be the bridge that connects your mind, body and soul to empower your existence.

31. When you are caged nowhere, you are free to reside everywhere.

© Sabina Yesmin